#LISTEN WHEN I SAY I LOVE TOXIC LESBIANS

[applebees4prez]

i think everything could be resolved by canon copperbees (kibblebarker and kristen) making out sloppy style maybe that’s just me tho

[owlsundermybed]

'Bury me next to you in an unmarked grave, Joy. We knew that was the only hope we ever had–that we would live to see it through...and pray for our own cessation. Oh, we'll still hate each other my dear, we have hated each other too long and too passionately to stop...but my bones will rest easy next to your bones.'

[trobeds]

hey if jeffannie is canon in the movie im gonna punch smth btw. its just so weird my god

[cowboy-heart]

'BUTCH MANIFESTO'

inspired by 'FEMME SHARK MANIFESTO' by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

(ID under cut)

Ko-Fi (Commissions Open!)

[ID: an original poem titled 'BUTCH MANIFESTO'. the stanzas are all on the left side of the page and lineated, except for the first line, and last stanza. Poem begins:

Listen up! Butches hold it down! We don’t spend hundreds of pounds on designer clothes and black and white tuxes – we shop off the charity shop rack, hand-me-downs from our bois, our men, our women. Butch is not a glamour word - Butch is not for the white collars in their 9-5 and their office parties, Butch is not for the woman in a police uniform with short cropped hair, Butch is not for the masc who looks down on our femmes, Butch is not for the dumbass white people who call themselves stud, like our people haven’t taken enough from black lesbians, Butch is not for the politician or the soldier, it’s for those of us who get shit done and don’t throw anyone under the bus; who stand between our loved ones and the white-knuckled fist; it’s for the people who take a breath of relief when they get home and get to lay their head on the shoulder of their baby and say, it’s hard, and I need you right now; it’s for those of us with hard-soled feet, worn by hours of standing, just so people can buy some useless shit on a Sunday. Butch is for the primary school teachers, the neighbour keeping your package safe, the hairstylist, the barber, the youth worker, the locked up, the sectioned, the evicted, the boy on the dole. Butches hold each other up, Butches stand up for communities, no matter how different we might be.

Butches stand up for Butches, because only we know the shit we face, we don’t argue over what butch looks like for someone - their struggle doesn’t counteract ours. We’re brothers, sisters, siblings, lovers, mentors, we don’t fight over femmes or fight each other. We help up our siblings who can’t hold themselves up and shouldn’t have to.

Butch is recognising our hurt, our pain, and making sure nobody has to go through that, in the very least not alone. Butch is not reproducing that hurt, butch isn’t the transfem exclusion, the toxicity, it’s driving our girls and boys to the abortion clinic, it’s holding your femme’s hair back over the toilet bowl, it’s telling your darlin’ to take a deep breath, before you poke the needle into her thigh, it’s holding back on punching the catcaller because you know it’ll put your lover in more danger, it’s fishing in your closet for an old, dusty dress for your questioning girl, it’s never calling the cops, it’s carrying the Narcan, it’s gathering the funds for bail, it’s tipping the waiter, it’s kissing the bruised chin of a fellow butch who’s built like a brick shithouse.

Butch is not all muscle, able-bodied, white Butch is not all skinny and androgynous Butch is care Butch is NURTURE. Butch is a cane and an unsteady step Butch is putting down the ramp Butch is wheeling up it Butch is addict Butch is straight-edge Butch is diaspora Butch is desi Butch is antiracist Butch is socialist Butch is punk Butch is black Butch is brown Butch is fat Butch is fat-loving Butch is mental illness Butch is antipsych Butch is autism Butch is trans Butch is anger Butch is tears Butch is grief Butch is the old bull Butch is the closeted kid in a dress Butch is the baby dyke wearing a rainbow flag cape Butch is smile lines Butch is crinkled eyes Butch is crying in your friend’s beat-up car Butch is foetal position Butch is pink Butch is motherhood Butch is fatherhood Butch is cat-dad Butch is fucking Butch is getting fucked Butch is stone Butch is bashful Butch is humble Butch is cocky Butch is proud Butch is single Butch is uneducated Butch is poet Butch is poetry Butch is council estate Butch is gentleness Butch is bones and spit and the soft curve of our lower backs the clenched jaw under a double chin the hard-eyes that any femme can see right through the estradiol the testosterone the carabiner clink the thick hands the cellulite the bloody pads the tampon string the mood swings the sagging tits the top surgery scars the swinging cock the hairy pussy the protruding t-dick the leather harness.

Butch is eternity Butch is sewn into the fabric of atoms Butch is love and solidarity Butch is never leaving anyone behind and never selling anyone out.

End poem. In the bottom right corner, the poet is signed as 'Ren H.' End ID].

[barblaz-arts]

I know you've been making a lot of art of it lately, but out of curiosity, what's your opinion on Hazbin Hotel in general? I'm referring to both the show and the fandom here. Just curious.

God. What a loaded question. Are you ready? Bcuz I'm fresh from Vaggie discourse on twitter and I have a lot to say.

I think that Hazbin Hotel seems worse than it is for people who know the fandom but haven't actually watched the show. Honestly, I think it's a fine show. It isnt super incredible and I'm not gonna sing praises about how deep and thought provoking it is or whether it's an artistic masterpiece. It never tried to be that and was never advertised as such(to my knowledge) anyway. I just had a lot of fun. Like, yeh sure the cussing in the dialogue can be a bit much, especially in ep 1, but there are different writers in other episodes, so it gets better. It can be super crude yeh, but I grew up watching things like the Scary Movie franchise and other dumb american movies (yes, i was too young for them. yes, i still watched them), so it's pretty tolerable for me. It also helps that Charlie is the main character. That's one of the main reasons why I watch HH but dont watch HB. It's probably a fun show, but without a sweetheart like Charlie to balance things out, I'd just get tired of the sex jokes and mean jokes.

Compared to my last hyperfixation, I think I have more things to love about Hazbin Hotel, believe it or not. With Netflix's Wednesday, I had already been an Addams Family fan for a while and hung on because I loved the family and eventually Enid and wenclair. The show itself was honestly meh... so far! I'll give season 2 another shot.

But with Hazbin Hotel, it catered to a lot of things I've always loved. Found family with a bunch of misfits? We didnt get to see it much bcuz of the fuckass 8-ep per season format we have nowadays, but its fine its there! The juxtaposition of a kind hearted woman in a harsh world? Love love Charlie for that, I watched the show in the first place because of her. A canon lesbian lover with a "fuck the world cuz my world is you" type of love for the protag? Fuck yes. How very Pearl-from-Steven-Universe of Vaggie. And the music? The music is soooo good. I didn't know the songwriter prior to watching, so I was nervous about the songs, but I knew most of the theater actors they cast(still cant believe Jeremy fucking Jordan is Lucifer) so I figured even if the songs are mid, at least the performances would be topnotch. And they were! But the songs were a pleasant surprise. Sam Haft did real damn well. I still listen to the soundtrack to this day.

The fandom, however, is probably the worst one I've been in. And I've been in a lot in my big age... Just... lacking media literacy, and based on the replies I get when I say something on twitter, it seems a lot of them lack reading comprehension and just plain emotional intelligence too.

There's a lot of criticisms about this show that I honestly think is fair. Pacing, character design, overuse of the F word, whatever. But in my opinion, claiming that Hazbin is a male-centered show is an unfair misconception that is mostly the fault of the fandom.

Bcuz, sure, the male characters are uber popular. Alastor, Vox, Lucifer, Angel Dust and the many web of ships they're involved in went trending every few business days. But come on now. How often does a fandom even have their main protag as the most talked about character? This has been going on for ages. Just because the boys have the most merch and fics and fanarts and thirsty fans doesn't mean that they had the spotlight for most of the show itself. It only meant that they were the ones the viewers paid attention to, in a fandom filled with people drooling over the next tumblr sexyman and toxic yaoi ship of the month.

But if you actually look back at what the show gave us so far, the boys didnt outshine the women. I actually think the women got to do more and be more as characters than the men did. Let's take a look at the male characters.

Alastor was not in all the episodes. In fact, he was MIA in two out of the eight episodes. In all the episodes he was in, he was a mere side character. His purpose in season one was to stir the pot and be the intriguing mystery that occasionally quips. But he was not the one whose deeper thoughts were explored and whose character and goals was challenged THROUGHOUT the show, merely alluded to at the VERY END of the season, which is hardly him taking the spotlight away from Charlie. If you merely looked at the fan content of him, you'd think he were a father figure to Charlie(or a love interest. whatever) and that he has developed a soft spot for the Hazbins deep down in that cannibal heart of his. But if you pay attention to the show, he never had even a meaningful one on one conversation with the Hazbins. The only time that happened is when (a)he threatened Husk's life (b)when he constantly mocked Charlie while she was down in the dumps and used this as an opportunity to manipulate her and (b)when he told Niffty watching the crew sure can "make one sentimental", even tho he had taken no prior opportunity to bond with them! There's no foundation for all the fandom's claims that he could be redeemed bcuz of a budding fondness for the group, but that's all you see of his fan content(aside from the horniness). I dont have any problem with his lack of an actual relationship with the Hazbins bcuz I believe redemption for him is not what the show is going for, but it's frustrating to see people interpreting it that way BUT not seeing how horridly developed it would be if that is the case, meanwhile they turn around and say that Vaggie and Chaggie as a ship "had terrible development".

Then we have the male Vees. Vox was only ever in episode two, and was essentially a youtube reactor in episode 8. He was in ep 4 but had no speaking lines. We only know of his obsession with Alastor and the toxic relationship he has with Val. Val, meanwhile, is merely shown as the sex obsessed fiend behind Hell's sex industry and Angel's abuse. They did what they needed to do with minimal screentime. It was fine, but that's IT. Despite what little CANON gave so far, you have hundreds of people writing essays and fics and fanarts about them being complicated characters. But to reiterate, this does not mean that they are bad characters or that they don't deserve the fame. But to say that these men are better written within canon than the women is such a bold statement when most of the depth they knew of these characters were lore drops given before the show and their own speculations as they dug into the shallow soil of what the show has so far.

I'm not gonna speak about Angel and Lucifer. Because I think they were characters who were legitimately well-explored so far.

Now onto the women. So many of them were given the opportunity to have their characters challenged or given the agency to push characters and the plot forward or give you intrigue about implications of what's to come for the characters and the plot. I've talked a lot about Charlie and Vaggie. So let me talk about the other, terribly underrated women of Hazbin.

Velvette and Carmilla were the ones who advanced the subplot in the war against Heaven. Because of Carmilla's love for her family despite being a demon, an angel was killed. It gave Heaven the excuse to escalate things, but it also gave Charlie hope later on in the season that they're not powerless. Carmilla was also the first demon shown to make selfless actions that is contrary to what is expected of demons, making it proof that Charlie's belief that demons deserve a second chance isn't unwarranted. She's an interesting character, as an overlord who hangs on to power but clearly has morals. But how often do you see people writing essays about her? Eating up the fact that she's a powerful overlord but would sacrifice anything for her daughters? If Carmilla were a man, hundreds of girlies would be drooling over the crime boss who has a soft spot for his daughters.

Meanwhile, Velvette got to demonstrate why exactly she's an Overlord despite being the youngest demon in there. She's calculating and observant. She gives off a haughty vibe and constantly boasts about how she's young and fresh, but she isn't naive. During that meeting, she paid attention to Carmilla and Zestial's relationship. In order to find out who killed the angel, she riled everyone up, and when she got the feeling it was Carmilla, she mocked Zestial so that Carmilla could slip up. By playing these Overlords who are older and more experienced than her, Velvette showed what exactly her asset was to the Vees and why she's a threat, something that Vox and Val have yet to be given the opportunity to do when they were busy eye-fucking Alastor and literally fucking Angel. But in fan content about the Vees, Velvette is almost treated as an after thought to the boys...

Then we have the Seraphs. Not only were their designs gorgeous, their dynamic and presence as characters had impact to the plot and main characters.

Emily is a much needed character to show that this story isn't meant to tell you that Heaven = bad; Hell = good. There is good and bad in both, and it is so important for the protags to know that they have an ally in Emily who represents the true virtues that heaven is supposed to uphold. And I love the confrontation she had with Sera when her own view of what's right and good was challenged. We got to see the strength of her character and started the seeds of what could be heaven's acceptance of Charlie's goals.

Sera is such an interesting character to me. She was also important to show that not all angels were sadistic like Adam and Lute, but not in the same way Emily was. I have no idea so far which direction this show would go with her. But I'm intrigued by the fact that she seems to be driven by fear, unlike Adam and Lute's cruelty. She knew Lucifer and was there when he was cast out for his disobedience. Whether everything she's doing is to prevent that from happening again remains to be seen, and I'm looking forward to this kind of subplot for her.

And then Rosie! I really really look forward to seeing more from her. Spoilers aside, something I barely see people talk about is how interesting it is that Rosie is every bit the leader that Charlie hopes to be. Rosie is able to be a respected overlord in her own faction without needing to sacrifice her love for showmanship and music and her positive disposition. When we were officially introduced to her, they show how she seems to care about actually taking care of her people, not JUST ordering them around, by talking to them personally and giving advice. That's exactly what Charlie wanted to do for her people, isn't it? The hotel to Charlie was what the emporium was to Rosie. They have a lot of similarities that could set up for Rosie to be the one to teach Charlie in becoming a leader. Now whether that's a good thing or a bad thing remains to be seen, but it is rather compelling.

So yeah! With all that said, I really dont think this show ignores its women at all. Just because a bigger part of the fandom gravitated towards the men doesn't necessarily mean its a misogynistic show so far. But if certain people are claiming that the women are badly written, then I hope they also own up to the fact that their blorbos are just as shallowly presented within the show, maybe even more so. Which wouldn't even be a bad thing! Since when did a show or character have to be amazingly written for a person to like them? That's just no fun at all. All I'm saying is... Fuck this fandom's double standards, hiding behind claims that it's the writing's fault when the problem is they couldn't be bothered to think about the women.

[kidicaruslover911]

The Damsel of Devastation Masterlist

-> Synopsis: When you, a supposedly wandering swordswoman (and doctor at your ‘lost hours’), happened to bump into your one and only childhood friend again, much had changed.

But some things just didn’t.

Despite all the years that had passed, he still hadn’t given up on his pledge of vengeance, and the both of you honored your vow to achieve mastery over the sword.

So now you find yourself following a demon’s path.

*Mizu is a man from reader’s perspective (not for too long tho)*

-> Pairing: Mizu x fem!Reader

-> First posted on AO3

-> Current Word Count: 92,1k

-> Status: HIATUS (Ongoing)

Warnings - Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Crossdressing Reader, Reader has BPD | Borderline Personality Disorder, obviously undiagnosed bc it is the 17th century, I Wrote This Instead Of Sleeping, Period Typical Attitudes, Edo Period, He/Him Pronouns for Mizu, Eventual Smut, Emotionally Constipated Mizu, Ableist Language, Prostitution, Brothels, Past Child Abuse, Bilingual Character(s), Bi-Curiosity (on Mizu’s side), historians will say that they were very close friends', Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Original Character Death(s), Past Character Death, Developing Relationship, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Mental Instability, Female rage, Past Sexual Abuse, Insane Reader, Lesbian Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Mizu, Mizu Needs a Hug, Mizu is Bad At Feelings, Reader Needs a Hug, Slow To Update, Angst and Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Past Pregnancy Scares, Past Miscarriages, Past Relationship(s), Tags May Change, Emotional Roller Coaster, Past Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Murder Wives, Open to Interpretation, it gets better before it gets real bad before it gets better again, yk lesbians, girl friends or girfriends?, Two women and a cat, Ringo is THE emotional support, debatable consequences, sapphic yearning, Toxic Yuri if you squint, Doomed Relationship (maybe), The Author Regrets Nothing, ALLEGEDLY, gay ppl can never just say "i love you" it always gotta be some crazy complicated shit first smh, Tattoos

➤And the Mizu x Reader playlist that goes with it ofc (pls listen to it on shuffle it’s better that way)

ENJOY!!!

CHAPTER 1: The Damsel of Devastation

CHAPTER 2: Sigh of an Old Friend

CHAPTER 3: Trail of Shadows

CHAPTER 4: Interwoven Nostalgia

CHAPTER 5: Rhythm from Ancient Times

CHAPTER 6: Red Lead on the Chessboard

CHAPTER 7: Stories Untold

CHAPTER 8: Foxes at Play

CHAPTER 9: Mournful Whisperings

Chapters; 9/21 to be continued…

Likes and reblogs are appreciated!

whether it be criticism or compliments, comments are always appreciated!🤎

[ilovefootballwrs]

waiting room

Reader x Leah Williamson

Warnings: Toxic relationship, homophobia, mommy issues

"I wanna make you drive all night just because I said, "Maybe you should come over" Wanna make you fall in love as hard as my poor parents' teenage daughter She'll be the best you ever had if you let her"

---------------------

Present

"How do you know she was the one?"

How did I know she was the on? Maybe it was the way that she made me feel? When we were together it was a mess, we were a mess. But when we are apart? My heart and soul long for her. I could never let her go, it is never going to happen.

"I never said that." I answered to the question.

"I know, but you implied it." She took a long breath before continuing what she was going to say. "Listen Y/N, if this is going to help you need to work with me. I can only help you so much, the real work comes from your side."

"I do really want your help, I really do! I just don't know how."

"Okay, then let's start from the beginning, tell me about how you met."

. . .

April, 2022

"I don't know what you're getting so worked over Y/N."

"This is a big deal for me Abby! What if it goes really bad and I end up blowing it up?" I sigh before setting my coffee down.

"It won't blow up, trust me" Abby said with a reassuring nod.

"And..." She continued, "If you happened to meet a super hot lesbian footballer, give her my number!" She winked at me.

"Abigail, I won't do that!"

"Not even for Lucy Bronze?" She asked me with a pleading look.

"Not even for Lucy Bronze."

I checked my clock and saw that the training started soon.

"I have to go! Can't risk getting late for my first day." I said excitingly.

"Take some hot pics of Bronzy for me! And don't forget to send them to me, for you know a second opinion."

. . .

Present

"Did you ever feel safe talking to Abby about your feelings?" My therapist asked me.

"Abby is my best friend, and I do love her with all my heart, but I never felt comfortable talking about her about those feelings." I said with an emphasis on those.

"Can you try to explain why to me?"

"I never really understood why, I still don't, but I would guess it was because of how open she was about it and I wasn't."

"Did you ever think about coming out to her?"

I took a deep breath and started getting ready to answer the question. I could feel my hands shaking and heart beating faster.

"I guess at one point I wanted to, but I would always get reminded of what happened with my mother." I took another deep breath before continuing, "I wanted to tell her about me and Leah so badly, I really did, but I just couldn't. It wasn't even like I was trying to suppress my feelings for Leah to myself, it was just to others I did that."

. . .

April, 2022

"I am so sorry about the camera, I really didn't mean for it to happen. I can pay you for the cost!" She said in a panic.

"Don't worry, it's not me you should be worrying about because this isn't my personal camera. I got it from the media team." I told her.

"Still, I am sorry!" She looked at me. God, she has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.

"It's okay, really." I reassured her, again.

"This is a really bad way of introducing myself." She laughed. "I'm Leah" She struck out her hand for me to shake. I took her hand and answered.

"I'm Y/N."

. . .

Present

"Leah would try to tell me that it was okay, but I never listened to her. I should've and we would've maybe still been together."

"Did you ever feel like Leah was pushing you?" My therapist looked me deep in the eyes.

"She never meant for-" I started before she interrupted me.

"Y/N, did you ever feel like Leah tried to force you to come out? It's a yes or no question and the only one that know that answer to that is you! I am not interested in what she meant or didn't mean, this is not about her it's about you!" She looked at me with a sharp glance.

"Yes, yes it did feel like that to times. It was the reason for most of our fights. She would ask me to stop hiding her and I would tell her that I never meant for that, I just wasn't ready." I sighed. "I understand how she would feel like that though. I wouldn't want that either, but it just didn't feel like she understood where it came from."

. . .

January, 2023

"I just don't understand Y/N! Why can't you just tell Abby at least? She would understand!" She yelled.

"I get that she would understand, Leah! But that isn't the point! I'm just not ready." I tried to explain.

"What are you waiting for Y/N? There's nothing stoping you from telling her, what's the big deal?" She said.

"What's the big deal? Leah, how coming out not a big deal?" I yelled at her, at this point I was furios.

"You've already come out to your mum, why can't you just come out to Abby?" She questioned.

"And how did that go Leah? She hasn't talked to me since!" I felt the tears in my eyes at this point. How could she not understand. "I thought that you of all people would understand Leah, but I guess you're just like everyone else."

"I tried not to be! But you never gave me any other choices. I want to be with someone who will drive the whole night just to be with me, but you can't even tell people about our love. Y/N, I'm not your waiting room, I can't be."

. . .

Present

"That's the last I've heard from her." At this point I was sobbing. "I tried texting her and calling her but she blocked me. She doesn't want anything to do with me." I tried to calm down, but it didn't help. "After this, I told Abby. I had to tell her. If I just told her sooner, maybe I still would've had Leah. But it's too late now."

. . .

The end.

[twiixr4kidz]

PRAYING YOU GIVE US SOME THE EVIL EXES X A DUMBASS S/O PLEASEEEE

Like they're so dumb it's not a joke- like imagine Roxy asking her s/o about the menu at a restaurant they're going to and they go "babe....I'm a lesbian." And it takes a full FIVE MINUTES for them to figure out what she meant

OMG YES i am a certified dumbass so this was very easy to write

matthew patel:

listen....... he gets it

he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed

it's like when you're around each other, your brain cells disappear

most discussions end in the two of you looking at each other, very confused, whatever conversation you were having being long forgotten

he doesn't mind re-explaining thinsg to you if you don't understand them

he thinks it's kinda cute honestly

lucas lee:

he is the himbo-est himbo to ever himbo

honestly most of ramona's exes are dumb but in different endearing ways

i can tell you for a fact that he'll tease you for one thing and then proceed to do it immediately after without even realizing

OR HE'LL TRY TO LIKE SHOW YOU WHAT YOU WERE DOING WRONG AND HOW TO FIX IT AND THEN HE MESSES IT UP HIMSELF LMFAO

"babe, that's not how you do a kickflip. THIS is." (he bails and breaks his board)

todd ingram:

todd is probably one of the most confused people you will ever meet

sometimes you say things that completely baffle him

im talking something so dumb his jaw is hanging wide open and he's rendered completely fucking speechless

and you're confused as to why HE'S confused because you thought you explained what you were saying really well

but you very much did not

there are so many conversations you have with him that are cut short because he doesn't know how to respond

"hon... look at me... what?" "huh?" "did you hear a word you just said?" "wait... what did i say?"

roxie richter:

she thinks it's cute!!!

most of the time

other times, she's genuinely concerned for your sanity

"so... whatcha wanna eat?" "babe, im a lesbian" "...what?" "what do you mean what?" "i know... you're a lesbian... i was asking about the food..." "OH"

you cannot hear apparently

she thinks it's funny whenever you do that thing where you hear her but you don't process what she said so you go "what" and then you cut her off when she tries to explain cuz you finally have an answer

she thinks it's HILARIOUS

kyle katayanagi:

he thinks it's hysterical

like you know this motherfucker is the ultimate tease

you don't know the answer to a question? you say something that sounds dumber than you intended it to?

you know damn well he's getting on your case about it

and honestly he loves it

he knows he's smart but he's fascinated by your sheer stupidity

he doesn't mind explaining things to you either

but you aren't getting out of an explanation without him calling you, and i mean this in the most affectionate way possible, a dumbass

ken katayanagi:

he's ALSO very fascinated with the fact that none of your millions of brain cells work

even when it comes to what he thinks is a simple concept, it takes a lot of explaining for you to understand

this is explaining that he doesn't mind doing

maybe his knowledge is just a little TOO advanced

he can never tell if he's the one whose too smart or if it's just your natural dumbness

it confuses him

he's enamored

literally say one dumbass thing around him and he's gonna have you pinned to a wall in the most intense makeout session of your life

gideon graves:

listen... gideon isn't as much of a douche as everyone makes him out to be

he thinks you being dumb is adorable

something about his weird thing for control and how he loves to explain things to you

he doesn't wanna control in a toxic way, let me just get that out there

he just loves how you never seem to know what's going on

god he loves it HE LOVES IT

[mythalism]

i think, anecdotally, canadians love to use land acknowledgments and Diversity(tm) a bit more than americans do, and have a degree of always pointing at the us and being like "well at least WE didn't do anything that fucked up! we're so much more enlightened and respectful 😌". and so any acknowledgment that racism exists, or that necessary societal change is often only brought by unpleasant disruption, or specifically that indigenous people live in terrible conditions because of colonization, is bracketed with this type of "but it's very complicated, and who's to say if there's a solution? we're thinking about it really hard, and holding space, and listening and learning, and maybe we will get to fixing it in like 50 years if people ask nicely" rhetoric. and there's a degree of apprehension that "land back" is a call for ethnic cleansing of settlers (somehow, despite this being both physically not possible and not actually anyone's demand) and that any movement towards that will be bad and overly radical.

which maps directly onto how bioware writes elves specifically haha. they'll sympathetically show how they're oppressed and living under the boot of a catholic church-esque entity, but then... ahhh noo, actually they had a very problematic pre-colonization culture, and they're too impractically fixated on the past and that prevents them from moving forward, and the church employees are sometimes trying their best and making amends, and the demands of the elven leadership are just too out there and violent... so really, it's very complicated. maybe it could be better to keep the status quo and only have Incremental Change, forever.

(they sort of didn't do this in the masked empire, but as always they had to throw in a bit about how Rude And Mean the dalish are. plus the ridiculously evil chevalier lore of each one randomly executing a few elves as a rite of passage, and then never mentioning that aspect again bc i guess it wasn't relevant to michel's story. as well as the insanely underwritten premise of what briala and celene's relationship actually was. there's ~toxic lesbians~, and then there's "extremely rich and powerful white noblewoman calls her younger servant class gf ugly for being dark skinned, lies to her for years, has her family and then entire community killed, then tries to seduce her back when she gets angry and leaves" lmao. i think weekes was going for a tragic morally grey starcrossed lovers to enemies vibe, but to me it was more of a horrific one-sided exploitation that the author did not seem to realize they were writing.)

and in veilguard i suppose they tried to avoid the entire issue by mostly removing those aspects of the setting, so you no longer even have the somewhat well-observed depictions of oppression combined with Justin Trudeau Moments, it's just kind of empty.

anyway thank you for appreciating my very long ted talk! i left tumblr after the whole "popular bloggers mass reporting pro-palestine people for terrorism" thing (i can get that treatment for free irl, don't need that extra stress from the Fandom Webbed Site haha). i've just been drifting back to look at dragon age posts bc i was curious about veilguard. i didn't expect much from bioware but it was surprising that they just went even further into tone-deaf bizarre race allegories rather than reading 1 (one) nonfiction book in the years since dai, or hiring anybody from a different background who could weigh in. :')

wow this is seriously so fascinating and insightful and truly does give me a better understanding of both canada and bioware LMFAO so thank you so much for sharing seriously. you are welcome in my inbox for more ted talks anytime and now im just gonna leave this here to marinate on it further and hope other people read it because its fantastic. xoxo

[cheesysoup-arlo]

Like a dog pt. 1

(pt. 2)

Regina x reader angst?

Warnings: toxic Regina, slur (use of the word lesbo)

I listened to this song for most of the writing process lol

You loved Regina. You loved her so much and you would do anything for her. She was your girlfriend. She wouldn’t tell anyone that but you knew it and that was enough for you.

You’ve noticed Regina being a little more distant than usual since Cady joined the plastics. You didn’t think much of it until rumors of Aaron and Regina dating started spreading.

While hanging out at Regina’s house (with the plastics) you decided to try and bring it up. “Hey Gina, um I-“ before you could even get your words out Regina snapped “What (Y/N)” she said rolling her eyes. “You know never mind I’m probably being ridiculous” you say worried she’ll get mad “No, spit it out, Now” she demanded. “Um so I’ve been hearing rumors that you and Aaron are dating, I know us dating is a secret (only you and the plastics know) but I thought we were only seeing each other?” You say kind of rambling and nervous. “Oh my god you’re being ridiculous” Regina said annoyed “get over yourself, you’re a secret for a reason, people can’t know I’m some lesbo like you and Janis that would be gross” you suddenly felt really small and unwanted something that you weren’t used to feeling especially when you were with your girlfriend. “Yeah, right, exactly, I don’t even know why I brought it up, sorry” you mumbled out. “God you’re so insecure sometimes” Regina says leaning in to kiss you. You kiss her, the mean things she said don’t matter as much as that kiss. Kissing her soft sweet lips meant everything to you.

The next day at school you’re putting your stuff in your locker when Regina calls you over. “(Y/N) come” Regina commanded “Yes?” You say confused walking over to her, she normally doesn’t talk to you much at school. “Gretchen was right you are like a dog, you come crawling to me whenever I call” she laughs a little with her friends. “Ok bye bye puppy, see you later” she says waving you away and laughing. You go to the bathroom to cry. Why was your girlfriend being like this? Doesn’t she love you? You lost track of time while crying and missed class. You wipe your tears, trying to make yourself look presentable before your only class with Regina. When you walk into class you see Regina. You’re not as excited as you normally are but seeing her makes you a little happy even if she’s being mean to you. Regina notices you and says, “come here puppy come sit” she points to the seat next to her and of course you follow. Regina pulls you in for a kiss, she never does that in public so you were shocked. “Regina there’s people” you say worried. She rolls her eyes “just be grateful I kissed you” you decide being quiet would be the better option. Regina’s behavior confused you. “Meet me at my car during lunch” Regina whispered in your ear. You just nod. Lunch was after next period. When the bell rang you packed up your things to head to art. You bumped into someone. “Ow fuck sorry” you say picking up the stuff you dropped. “It’s ok” says a familiar voice. “Oh hi Janis” “hi (Y/N), heading to art?” “Um yeah, you know I sit like right behind you” “yeah I know but sometimes you ditch so I was just curious” Janis jokes making you laugh a little. You two walk to art together, talking a little about your recent projects. Rumors start spreading when the two openly out lesbians are seen walking together in the halls and laughing. You don’t go on your phone in art. So to your surprise when you open your phone after the bell rings for lunch and see loads of messages and post about you and Janis. And two text from Regina

Regina 💕: get your ass to my car

Regina💕: NOW

uh oh she’s angry. You run to her car. “Hey Regina” “get in the car” you do what you’re told. “So you’re cheating on me?” “WHAT NO” “oh come on (Y/N) why else would you be talking and giggling with Janis” “um maybe because I have art with her” “I don’t want to see you around her anymore” she kisses you then continues “you’re mine” you blush due to her possessiveness even if she only talked like this in private. “All yours” you say. She kisses you again. “Oh one more thing, don’t bring up Aaron anymore he’s being like so annoying and tried to kiss me” “ok” you say leaning in to kiss her again. She kisses you back kinda rough, biting your bottom lip then sticking her tongue in your mouth to assert dominance. You moan. “Oh you like that” Regina chuckles. You’re embarrassed and hide your face. She grabs you chin and makes you look at her “I want you to come over tonight after the girls leave” “ok?” You say a little confused “you’re gonna be a good little puppy and do whatever I say, ok?” You nod. “Good, now get out, I’ll see you tonight.” You leave a little confused but also excited because you get to see Regina later.

A/N: this has been in my notes app for like 3 days because I couldn’t tell if this was worth posting but here you go

[leahkentwriter]

Hannibal but make it sapphic

Someone recommended a novella called Bloom by Delilah S. Dawson as it was apparently inspired by the tv show Hannibal. That got my attention. As did the cover art. (I kind of want to fuck the cover art, and I'm asexual.)

I feel like this is a twisted romantic horror story between a budding bisexual and a homoromantic asexual. Which I loved. More of that, please. Lesbians are great, but I like it when those of us who are a bit underrepresented are front and center.

What I will say here is that if you're a fan of the show but really wanted more of that sapphic element - this novella is worth a read. The rest of what I have to say I'll hide in case you want to pick this book up without my thoughts in your head.

This is a story about Ro, a newly appointed assistant professor of literature, and Ash, a free-spirited artisan. The story is sapphic and feminine, even when the horror is on full display - and it is on full display. There are very clear parallels into Hannibal which fans will pick up on, so those craving a sapphic version of the Will-Hannibal relationship may be interested in this story.

That said, the Hannibal references got a bit heavy-handed in my opinion. I think that in honoring every part of him, the narrative leaned in a bit too heavily. I enjoyed the elements that were unique to this particular story more than I did the tie-ins to Hannibal. Something more domestic, something that turns a certain kind of polished pastel Instagram aesthetic into horror. A protagonist that resonated with the awkward feelings and tendency to overthink that many of us experience. How well Dawson represents what obsessive feelings look and feel like.

Because this is a novella and it had to move quickly, there were things that had to be told rather than shown. That's fine - but at times, in this story, it felt clunky. There are moments where the narrator is clueless, yet it's so obvious what's going on. The literary references are sometimes great but sometimes don't pull their weight, and I wish they'd been used a bit more intentionally. The foreshadowing is at times less shadowy and more like a big blinking neon sign. Even without knowing anything about Hannibal, readers will know fairly quickly where things are going. This novella is about appreciating the journey, and what that journey looks like between queer women.

Ro is actually annoying, and I love that about her, because anyone who has ever been obsessively fixated on another person knows how your critical thinking skills suddenly shut down. She's distracted, she's fumbles, she does the wrong things for the right reasons and doesn't really listen and often knows she's not really listening, and her internal justifications are weak at best, so she's definitely not a martyr in this story. She both ignores red flags, and is a red flag herself. Both of these women have needs they're trying to sate, and have elements of toxic behavior.

Ro's awkwardness and mistakes and messy emotions and overthinking are usually relatable. She's pretty quickly out of her element and gets pushed more and more out of her comfort zone, which she at times overthinks, but at times just gives into. I did enjoy that about her.

Ash read to me as distinctly asexual. That's never overtly stated, but that was the vibe I got, which I enjoyed. And yes, there's sex in this story, because asexuals do fuck, and do even enjoy fucking (it's me. hi.) but Ash? She's a homoromantic ace. She's not getting off on the sex - there's something else driving her desire. (I'm a panromantic ace with kinks. I will die on this hill.)

Ash is an interesting predator, and any story where you've got women hunting women is going to get my attention. I've had enough of men hunting women. Women hunting men does satisfy a certain urge but I have to be in the mood.

Women hunting women is a whole different beast. And there's something Ash says toward the end of the story that felt very uniquely like something a predatory queer woman would say. We only ever see her via Ro, but it's easy to fill in the gaps that Ro doesn't (want to) see. If you're a Hannibal fan, you'll understand Ash pretty quickly. Even if you're not, her motives become clear. I think the thing I liked the best was that her desire isn't singular - by the end you realize that there were several ways this could have gone, and Ro was always the one who was going to determine that. (Of course, how much agency Ro actually has is debatable.)

I'm not sure how more hardcore Hannibal fans will like the ultimate ending - they will definitely understand where it comes from. I have mixed feelings about it simply because it does borrow from the show in a very direct way that I didn't like. I wish it had been done a bit differently. But I'm not disappointed at what it reveals about Ash.

My biggest critique is that I feel like this should have been a novel, because the things I felt were a bit clunky and heavy handed and rushed could have been easily smoothed out in a longer narrative. I also wanted to stay in this story longer. Despite my critiques, I did like it, and I feel like there's a lot more here that could have been explored. Dawson wove in lots of interesting threads.

I love stories that center women and women's spaces and feminine aesthetics, without making them seem silly or diminishing them. Stories that, like Dawson's, see the beauty and the horror without trivializing. You never get the impression that she's parodying or making fun. You see the idyllic nature of the life behind the aesthetic, as well as the gruesome realities. These are all things that are very familiar and very understandable. And that's what makes it chilling.

[tearsofdiamonds]

🔥🔥🙏🙏🙏🙏 im losing ym shit

sorry girl but that picture of jennifer and needy + the pictures of youngliz gave me other thoughts 😵‍💫

wonyoung and liz as jennifer and needy is a concept that i love. i can see them as the typical best friends that are about the popular pretty girl duo that has all the guys in the palm of her hand + loser friend who is a virgin and doesn’t even use Instagram to try to flirt or get guys but just because she likes to support her friend’s posts… type of friendship where liz’s parents would say that wonyoung is a bad influence and that they should look for better options for friendships, little knowing that liz loves this type of dynamics.

also the friendship between two girls that looks like a toxic lesbian situationship. they don’t date or anything like that, but the behavior of both is always like a relationship full of jealousy and obsessive acts even when wonyoung claims to be straight and half the school is after her while liz stays like her virgin loser best friend who never leaves the house because she prefers to stay in her room and read all day rather than come out of her cave and enjoy life like any average teenager would.

and the heated conversations with a certain amount of tension were always present. being best friends since they were children, they already have a habit of having sleepovers every weekend, leaving school on friday afternoon and heading to someone’s house to spend the whole weekend together and then going to school together on monday morning.

“hello?” wonyoung, who was barely entering her teens, gently touched the blonde’s forehead, giving liz a gentle tap on the forehead, as she always enjoyed doing. “we turned thirteen last month! we’ll be starting high school soon. we have to be prepared~”

and liz didn’t understand what her best friend was referring to! “prepared for…?”

“for boys, right? we’ll have to be prepared for tongue kissing and sex. don’t tell me you feel like we’re not ready for that yet.”

and well, that was the first time there was a weird moment between them! wonyoung teaching liz how to kiss using her tongue and her whole mouth wasn’t something liz had ever thought about... she hadn’t even had a crush on a guy, so kissing was something that was so far from her thoughts, but it’s good that wonyoung is a great friend who wouldn’t allow her best friend to look like a silly brat who doesn’t know how to behave once the opportunity presents itself with a guy, so spending almost the entire night sticking her tongue almost down liz’s throat was both of their favorite activities for a long time <3

that hasn’t changed until now. both in wonyoung’s room, talking about the upcoming party one of the school’s athletes was planning. liz wasn’t the going–out type, only accepting invitations when she knew her best friend would be attending.

“we have to prepare you for when a guy wants to take the next step with you.”

and liz is more than fed up with hearing that! wonyoung constantly seems to want to try to get her to have something with some guy because ut seems to bother her that liz keeps her social status at the same level, but at the same time she seems to get annoyed when some guy gets too close to liz, even if he’s a classmate being kind to liz and managing to get a smile out of her.

but the words get stuck in liz’s throat when wonyoung instead of starting to give advice like always chooses to crawl over to where she is in bed… liz would say something if it weren’t for wonyoung taking her jaw and making her listen instead of saying something stupid.

“you’re gorgeous, liz. beautiful face, nice tits, big ass… i don’t understand how no guy has asked you out yet.” liz’s face changes to shades of red.

how could i say that this ends with wonyoung training liz for when she finally sleeps with a man? liz is so dumb that she doesn’t have a voice of her own that she doesn’t even dare to refuse when her best friend tells her that she’ll fuck her to prepare her when she gets the chance with a guy :( choosing the strap with a considerable size, big and thick enough to get liz used to the moment she has to take a real cock she doesn’t feel uncomfortable and don’t try to give up the moment you feel full and be a little sissy about it.

“first you have to give him head. the vast majority of guys like their cocks sucked. then you’ll learn how to do it so you don’t suck the first time.” wonyoung would say sweetly, looking at liz with loving eyes and a mocking smile as she notices how the blonde looks with big doubtful eyes at the silicone cock that gives her the feeling that it will be a difficult task to do…

wonyoung guiding liz at all times <3 showing her how she has to tease a little first because sometimes it’s better to tease first with kitten licks, asking her to maintain eye contact with her as liz slowly inserts the dildo into her mouth because in wonyoung’s words, “that’s what guys like,” telling her to use one of her hands to pump the shaft of her cock while she in turn bobs her head up and down on the other half of her cock… she even dares to take liz’s soft and silky blond locks in one hand, holding them in a ponytail and using it to move liz’s head and simultaneously moving her hips against her face to fuck her mouth properly. liz is so wrapped up in her task and following the advice her friend is giving her that the poor fool doesn’t realize that this stopped being just help and tips for her future a long time ago…

and wonyoung training liz’s pussy so she can take a real cock tomorrow, only liz is now about to collapse because if she struggles to take wonyoung’s cock in her mouth, she doesn’t want to imagine how hard it will be for her pussy to do it this time!

wony giving words of encouragement to liz as she slides the silicone cock into her best friend :( awww she is showering liz with sweet words, taking advantage of the small moment where liz seems to be “okay” to instruct her to place her hands on the back of her knees and push them against her chest because, again, “that’s what boys like,”

[killing-hannibals-body]

I think that I’ll get some flack for this, but I want to talk about it anyways.

I see a lot of people saying that AAA falls into the classic dead lesbian trope, and, if you look at it simply, one of them dying immediately after a lesbian kiss would fit into that trope.

However, in the bigger scope of things: Agatha isn’t dead. She’s a ghost. While being a ghost technically means being dead, it’s not like Lexa from the 100 or Villanelle from Killing Eve. They exist in a universe where they can never, ever come back.

There’s also an established afterlife (if Agatha doesn’t get her body back like she does in the comics). That afterlife ensures that Agatha will be reunited with Nicholas (and once she finds peace with that, reunited with Rio, as it’s established that she was ready to take Rio back when she thought Teen was her son).

Agatha is also shown to already be able to gain some sort of corporeal presence, meaning physical touch is not out of the question. They’re not doomed to never touch again (and if Agatha actually dies, Rio is shown to hold Nicholas’ hand after he’s a spirit, so, once again, physical touch will be possible).

Jac Schaeffer wanted the kiss to be beautiful and tragic and a representation of where their relationship currently is: tender, sexy, but also incredibly toxic. She didn’t intend for it to be some sort of punishment, especially because they were lovers and partners before the kiss. Once again, going back to Lexa and Villanelle: they were killed off almost immediately after the first kiss/first time having sex. While Agatha and Rio’s “kiss of death” was the first we saw as an audience, it was not their first kiss and most certainly won’t be their last.

While everyone is entitled to their opinions (and if you’re upset at the trope being present at all), I feel like this case doesn’t fit the trope completely when taking in the full picture. Not showing their past is unfortunate, but I do believe that it wasn’t the show-runner’s intention to neglect the couple. They had lots of ideas but were limited to the 9 episodes given. When you listen to the writers and the actors, there’s so much love and thought in their relationship. If you recall the interviews with the writers and actors behind Clexa and Villaneve, there wasn’t much thought, love, or care in the relationship (though I do think that Jodie Comer was deeply invested in Villanelle’s character).

Anyway, those are my two cents! Please don’t take this as an offense to how you feel! I just feel like some people don’t remember/weren’t around when being a lesbian was essentially a punishment.

Agatha gave us a gay kiss, a lesbian kiss, a sapphic coven, a “trans live matters” flag, a “if you want a straight answer, ask a straight lady”, I’m the “queer-ent.”

Plus: the gay kiss is a kiss. They allowed two women to literally make out on television. Tell me you’ve seen such a passionate kiss between two women on TV with such deep history.

[nataliescatorccioapologist]

imma be so honest, i dont like travnat and most of us don’t bcs travis is male- everyone would eat that shit up if it was wlw. im not even ashamed to say it but listen, y’all can dislike a ship or a character but to say they are badly written is a stretch and simply not true

I’m totally guilty of this, too. I’m a lesbian, and I certainly want to see more lesbian relationships in my favorite shows and movies. I HATED Travis and Travnat on my first couple of watches, and I think a lot of that had to do with Travis being a man and a straight relationship being so prominent in the show in the place of what could be more queer representation. But I totally understand the people who dislike Travnat more because he is a man, it makes sense that it is more uncomfortable to see a man slut-shame and point a gun at a woman than it is to see a woman do so. I love Lottienat but I don’t think I would love it as much if Lottie was a man grabbing Nat with the knife during Doomcoming, or if Nat was a man telling Lottie she should “say less.” That’s just the anger and discomfort associated with a long history of misogyny and men’s abuse towards women, so I get that aspect. Toxic wlw is a lot more fun than straight toxicity.

But I agree, you definitely cannot say that Travnat is poorly written. Travnat grew on me over time because of how well-written and realistic it is. I love that they are the only people who can ever truly understand each other but are also the source of each other’s self-destruction. They are birds of a feather but that also means they have the same unhealthy coping mechanisms and relationship patterns. There’s a heartbreaking push and pull in their relationship of reaching out to each other and then lashing out and hurting each other because neither of them know how to accept love. And Nat replacing her drug addiction with an obsession with Travis in the wilderness makes so much sense. You can hate Travnat but you can’t say that Nat didn’t love that boy. She canonically says he was her best friend, the only person who ever truly knew her, and the only person she ever loved. Those are words straight from her mouth in that scene with Lisa. Ugh I love them and could go on about how narratively fascinating their relationship is for ages but I’m going to restrain myself.

And as much as people say there are too many men in this show, I do think including men (particularly Travis) in this story has been valuable. I have appreciated being able to see how a man plucked from a patriarchal society has changed and evolved when placed in a female-dominated environment. An important element of this show is watching the ways of civilization and society slowly dissolve, and part of that is seeing how Travis transforms from toxically masculine to releasing society’s expectations and developing more gentle and emotionally expressive feminine qualities. And watching how he comes to respect female leaders in the group like Lottie. And watching how traditional gender roles shift in his relationship with Nat. With men being included in the story, we get to see how societal gender norms can shift in this lawless environment, and I think that’s really interesting.

Sorry that was way longer than I intended it to be I woke up in a yapping mood.

[lukazade]

Foreword: it's all just my opinion! Don't freak out! Don't worry! Listen if you want, don't listen if you don't! Discuss if you want, don't if you don't! Awesome! Also man it's wordy I'm sorry!

Ok I know we've talked about zooble trans allegory and yes, agree, however. I think it's also like, something about acceptance and adjustment as a whole concept. A feeling of self actualisation,, or something. I'm gonna talk about masking now!

Some characters have adjusted implicitly to the circus (Ragatha, Jax), some have brute-force adjusted (Kinger, Pomni), and some have adjusted by refitting to their environment as it changes (Zooble, Gangle).

What I mean to say is this hints at their past lives a little more (to me);

Ragatha and Jax

Ragatha and Jax are what I would call perfect maskers. The type who do it so well they fool themselves - the type who have the sort of trauma that just can't be given to an adult. It's entwined into your birthright. Ragatha has always come across as having "eldest daughter syndrome" (if you're not sure what I mean by this, look it up!) and Jax chooses destruction and cruelty in his every play (I know men who do not know how to be Nice to others and can only bully and demean the people they even genuinely like, because of toxic masculinity being ingrained in the very fabric of being A Boy in this world- yadda yadda yawn) (note: this still makes them suck and please don't forgive people who say "this is just how I am" when they hurt you just because of whatever they've been through. You are now going through it for them.) but they don't come across as genuine. Neither of them feel genuine.

Jax wants everyone to enjoy his "banter" and thinks that them reacting is similar to them enjoying. They're partaking, after all. He doesn't like when people aren't playing along with him, but they don't play with him because his playstyle is cruelty. He's compelled to be mean. And he needs you to respond in his language - his language that is obscene and hurtful. And it gets worse as you engage with it, because he's playing with you. And not necessarily to hurt you. Just.. to hurt you. You feel me? It's a game. It's not real. Why would it upset you? Lighten up.

Ragatha wants the same, in a way. She wants to play house (needs to) because eldest daughters can never stop playing house. They've been doing it since the second the younger sibling was born. Perhaps even parented a parent, with no siblings at all to speak of. They start the job so young that they do not live in reality. They're playing house. They're the mother. And Pomni is literally child shaped, so of course she wants to nurture and care for her. And of course she wants to care for everyone, because that's what she knows how to do; she can't accept thanks for it because of course she'll take care of you. She'll take care of everything. It's nothing to be thanked for. And Pomni is her child but also,,, she's not actually. That's not her child or even A child. She'll parent her as a way to show her love, right down to, "she's too busy flirting with gummigoo to be with us, wish someone would flirt with me" (aka: "she doesn't love mommy anymore, she's abandoning mommy and growing up"). We aren't going to travel this path further in this post but if you're a freak who wants to explore it feel free! Heck. Maybe you already have explored it! Life's crazy.

Anyway. They hate each other, (Ragatha and Jax) but they get along because they're both able to, weirdly, find common ground. Ragatha gets to bite at him in an angry housewife way. He gets to bite at her because she bites back. They let off steam by arguing, where he tends to play defence to her offence, when you might assume a nasty rude cruel guy would raise his voice and deny her the right to do so. I won't go further here either because I lack evidence the deeper I go rotating these two in my mind. My evil otp. Sorry Ragatha I think you're a lesbian having weird things with Pom but you're part of my evil otp with nasty Jax because you're parallels of what the world does to its eldest sons and daughters sorreeeeey.

Pomni and Kinger

These two are. They're rotating in my mind. Yeah. Yeah they are, right there. The child he never got to have, the father figure she evidently yearns for.

These two are the type who don't adjust well. They don't mask well. They can't hold it in and lie about things, and when they do they fall apart.

Pomni is in the early stages of a new environment - she can't blend into it all even though she looks the most like a circus act. She tries, but the way it drives her up the wall, the way every good moment is also a moment waiting to strike, she can't. Until the moments she can. When it's quiet, when people are acting normal, when she's alone somewhere and can functionally talk about it. And then she's. Fine. She blends, she matches. She's just in hell, just in the circus. It's okay though.

But there's only so much talking things out can do, especially when you're stuck somewhere that actively traumatises you. Going back to therapy won't stop the bad things from happening, and so she'll loop again and again until... well, who knows! I hope we find out!

Kinger my beloved that killed his wife (?) either beforehand (while alive) OR believes so because he watched her abstract in front of him, and confused it with killing her. Who knows. His real life and his life in the circus are one and the same, he can't pick them apart. Because he never did adjust. It all slams into him every time, he needs that quiet, dark, emotional place that Pomni is still reaching for. But he has accepted that he doesn't fit and can't reach. He's literally a piece from a set. A set with no other pieces. Nobody else is from a set; Pomni maybe counts as part of a Circus Objects set. But she is in a circus. She might be able to adjust with time; Kinger does not fit. Cannot adjust. An outsider who (if we're to believe that was his life, in the haunted house ep) was paranoid and lived away from society (with the one matching set piece that he got to have, his queen). And in killing her, lost his ability to be in a set. To have kids. Uh. Pawns if you will. He has no place, and though he cannot truly adjust, though he remembers himself fairly easily in private (something the best maskers don't necessarily get to have; whew boy let me tell you sometimes the mask feels more real than the skin!!), he has accepted it. He has adjusted. Episode 3 there's so much more in you that I'm not seeing.. there's more I should be able to see.. idk what though. But he knew it was his own life. 100%. Also I believe in ep 4 gummigoo remembered his past life as an NPC v.1 idk where else to say that tho. I'm putting it here I believe.

And now we nearly reach the end! Are you still with me folks? And do you like my informal writing style? Thanks! University hated it! I'm shocked that I have a degree!

Zooble and Gangle

These two literally in canon adapt and change themselves to fit in. They're not perfect maskers, but they're also not the type who can't mask. The perfect maskers need their situation to gradually change, the ones who can't mask need things not to change. But change is in the nature of these two. Adapting is what they do. Gangle literally changes her mask right in front of others (think.. code-switching? I guess!) Zooble offers her a mask she thinks might help. Changes up her limb pieces. They are adaptable. But they diverge.

Zooble steps out of anything she doesn't want to do, anything she can't handle, but this is because she is constantly trying to find the right "body parts." She is so interested in the introspective, in the self, that the affectation of the outside just slides right off her. Jax wishes! She is able to ignore everything because the most important thing to her is her sense of self. Never mind how it fits in with others. Her apathy is only for things that cannot help her - she holds empathy and gentleness deep within herself, and gives it to those who care or relate to her struggle. She isn't close to the Perfect Maskers because they fundamentally cannot understand her (Ragatha wants to just go with it and let each adventure play out and end. Over and over. Something to do. // Zooble doesn't want to be distracted from the self actualisation of finding her "correct" body parts. Adventure outside is nothing for her (literally episode 4 couldn't touch her lmao she just did her job good for her)).

And Gangle. Oh sweet Gangle. Ever the bottom of the dog pile, ever the hurt and wounded one, needs to be loved, wants to be loved, but can't ask. So instead she matches her mask to what the people need (or to a tantrum that perhaps This Time someone will care about, maybe, please). Gangle gets to be in charge in ep 4 and immediately becomes Boss From Hell. This is a person who wants to have attention paid to her, but also who feels undeserving or too unimportant. So when given control, of course she doesn't know how to do it in a way that works. It just isn't in her wheelhouse! And whew, everyone has caused heaps of trouble during the circus, but the one time she causes chaos, she blames herself and settles away outside of the group. But she is trying to pursue a sense of self by trying different masks, trying different ways to fit in. She can mask, and will mask, but her sense of self claws out. Her emotional, sensitive self. Tears of a crybaby are easy to write off. Contentment/happiness are even easier to write off. But uncomfortable emotions beg to be seen and heard. Manic mask(?) was extreme in a way that is uncomfortable for the others, and for herself, as it caused a weird little freaky outburst (like anger, jealousy, etc - they result in choice words and actions fairly often). I said good for her even while I was scared of her ngl good for her for real. She can mask fine, she just doesn't truly want to. She does, to make things work. But it's clear from the beginning that masking is just a gimmick to play along and feel part of something, it's clear she's just aching to feel something real and honest. And, just as Ragatha/Jax and Zooble can't get along, Gangle also can't get along with them; she isn't good at playing house. They both aren't into playing house, they want to express something real, either through correct body parts, or through hobbies (like art).

These groups fundamentally form and overlap where they intersect. There are dynamics that are clear, and dynamics that are untapped. Those who can play house, those who won't play house, and those who don't even know what street the dang house is on.

In conclusion

Shit I'm bad at conclusions..

TL;DR

That sounds less daunting. The characters all represent something to me that I think is cool :) and also may not matter at all in the grander scheme! I am always trying to think of the "what do they want" concept when they interact with adventures/caine/each other. Jax is the most interesting to me because he's the best masker on the team. "But he's just like that" you cry. No~ there's something that does that, even if it's nothing you notice. Breathing in tobacco smoke can still give you lung diseases - even if you didn't smoke! Kinger is my fav though uwu I'm an Ice King enthusiast ofc I'm gonna pick up another traumatised and confused old man he's in my basket rn as we speak.

Anyway hope you enjoyed my writing style, this is just how I like to talk. And I felt it was on theme with the vibes of the show hahahaha hope you had fun - also it's 1am, forgive me if I went off topic like 60 times 🥰 I swear I had something to say!

[cloudyskiiees]

Follow up to my original Sierra ask (which, I find myself practically agreeing 100% with for your perspective on her)-- what draws you into the ship of Sierra/Heather (Heatherra) in particular? They're a very interesting pair, what do you think of their dynamics in particular?

i’m glad you agree!! i feel very strongly about the difference between enjoying a character in canon and in a aspect aspect!

as for heatherra… oh boy let’s talk about it!!

under the cut cuz kinda long :)

heatherra is a ship i questioned at first for sure. they’re very different in many areas, true yes, but people with strong differences sometimes make the best couples!

heather first and foremost is a difficult character to gauge what they would need in a romantic relationship. so here’s my personal take on what what she thinks she wants, vs what she needs.

her attraction to alejandro in the show seems to be primarily based on looks, something she cannot control her reaction of and very obviously rejects in the end of world tour. she gets overly frustrated with him almost every time they speak, and i believe that combined with his looks are what drive her to believe that’s what she desired in a relationship.

in all stars (ugh, i know,) they are overly lovey dovey in a way that seems very VERY out of character. this is why i elect to ignore all the information above trying to tell me she likes alejandro.

she’s a lesbian!!!

it’s my headcanon that heather is a lesbian who simply does not care enough to realize it. she mistakes her enjoyment of a good fight and similarities with alejandro for romance, but it’s not something real that will last long.

something that is real and could last long, is someone for her whose overly agreeable and very loyal/possessive.

heather needs someone who will go get her a drink three different times because it was wrong the first two times. sierra would’ve never gotten it wrong in the first place, because she knows exactly how to make it already.

sierra’s love, in her form, is deep and intense. it’s something heather will never not be hearing from her, and it’s something that will make her absolutely sparkle and fuel her confidence.

sierra, sierra likes to be told what to do. she likes to love, she likes to serve and be overly affectionate. all of these traits i feel would fit very nicely with heathers controlling and vain nature.

as much as thing may sound toxic, i actually don’t see it being very toxic. why? because i see heather actually liking sierra, not just the attention.

sierra can give her updates on anyone she’s ever known, she can track down an old girl from middle school heather never stopped hating on. sierra can laugh with her at bad reality shows, and gossip about anything and everything. sierra will carry her purse, her shopping bags, sierra will snarl at anyone who gets too close to heather. she’s like her own personal body guard.

heather will listen to sierra’s tangents, then plot to destroy whoever got her so worked up in the first place. she’ll pay for sierras things without saying a word, and scoff and deny it if sierra asks. they’ll get their nails done together and then people watch and make fun of everyone.

even in an emotional aspect, whether that’s a bad day or a fight or anything in between. on bad days, heather drags sierra out to get her a new outfit, or sierra rages with heather about whatever it is she’s mad about. during a fight, sierra is quick to apologize and reassure when she goes to far, which is something heather still struggles with, but i can see her trying to get better.

in canon though, i still felt like they were a fun duo. sierra seemed to genuinely like heather already, knowing her very well from watching the show ofc. she was always more excited to be on the show than to be competing for the million, and i think heathers frequent attempts at failing to manipulate her were very enjoyable to watch. they’re both powerful players and strong women who had very fun interactions! (alejandro and cody get outta the way.)

anyways, i can just see them fitting each other on a lot of different levels, and i think their dynamic would’ve been more fun to explore in canon! a lot of it is my own headcanons and such however, seeing as i don’t agree with a lot of the stuff with canon sierra and aleheather (even tho i do still enjoy the ship itself) :)