#seducing god together to betray him in the most intimate way possible!

[owlsundermybed]

'Bury me next to you in an unmarked grave, Joy. We knew that was the only hope we ever had–that we would live to see it through...and pray for our own cessation. Oh, we'll still hate each other my dear, we have hated each other too long and too passionately to stop...but my bones will rest easy next to your bones.'

[natsukitakama]

What kind of boyfriends are they ? Cursed edition

Author note : Hello ! I hope you’re doing well ♡ I’m super happy to be able to post again, I still need to practice a little bit tell me what you think about this one. I plan to create another série “what kind of significant other are they” but for a lot of fandoms ♡. 

Warning : Some spoilers / Just me fangirling over my crush 

i do not own those gifs credit to the owners 

The weeping monk aka Lancelot 

Attentive : he tends to be quiet but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t notice. He used to analyze everything in order to catch fey or to fight properly and he uses this quality in your relationship. Meaning he will always know when you are down when you are angry or when you’re lying to him. 

Because he knows that he tries his best to act the proper way in order to help you going through what ever bother you. However despite his sensitive nature, he took him a long time and a lot of works to be able to express his feelings. He was raised to be a weapon to be a man, not some Childs who cried over. Be patient with him it’ll worth it. 

Collected : most of people believe that it’s a cursed  but with him it’s actually a good thing, because he is not very loud, fight are non-existent. 

Not because he doesn’t feel angry (he does) but he wasn’t raised to express his emotion or worst let them take the best of him. He is monk so he knows better than falling for wrath. It took a lot to actually make him angry. In the meantime, being quiet means he is pretty good listener and because of that he alway knows what to do when you’re about to start a fight : because he could remember what you say earlier etc. Since he is attentive when it came to you, it’s all benefit for you. 

Kind : there litteraly nothing he won’t do for you. Not kidding this little baby is touch-starved and he can’t help but thank every divinity fey or not for giving such a wonderful S/O as you are. 

He knows he can be harsh and sometimes he can hurt you with his words, he knows he isn’t very comfortable with physical affection. But he is trying. Because of that he will always take care of you as much as possible, and will always reminds you how much he loves you by small gesture. 

The first time you saw him running into you ready to kill every man and then taking you into a safe place. You knew he was in love and that he cared about you. Most of the time he manifests his love to you by small gesture, a little flower on your desk the next morning, your favorite hot drink, a book that you might be into. Anything who appears to be small gesture but means a lot for you. 

Protective : as I mentionned before, he won’t hesitate to kill anyone who might bother you. For him you far too precious for this world, you’re bringing him peace, your his heaven and there no way someone would take you away from him.

Besides no matter how hard you tried, he still believes that you need protection because the whole world is insane and you’re not ready for that. He also knows that he get a lot of ennemies because of what he did, so he has to be near just in case. No matter how hard you tried, he would always ask you to be careful (and would always have his eyes on you just to be sure). He is aware that betraying the church would give him a lot of ennemies who might try to take you away as an hostage. 

Jealous : he is a possessive man fight me on this. I can see him sending death glare at everyone who might look at you for too long. 

This jealousy came from différents things : First since he is a touch starved baby he wants all your attention on him, he doesn’t want someone to enjoy what he should be the one to experiment. Second he knows that you are out of his league, he doesn’t deserve you you’re a whole light while he is nothing but a shadow. He was blessed by your love for him and there no way he would share this. Third, I can picture him as a primal man, no matter how hard he works to be a monk a good believer, I’m pretty sure deep down there is an alpha.

The green knight Aka Gawain 

Emotional : he might be a strong soldier, one of the best fey’s protector this man is a huge teddy bear. I’m pretty sure he is always touching his S/O : taking their hands, hugs them, kiss them. It’s written on his face he is clingy fight me on this. 

In addition I believe he is pretty sensitive and might feel when something is wrong with you. Each time something happen he will always be here reminding you that he is here, nothing is going to happen, you’re going to be fine. He is pretty easy to read actually although he claims that he can keep secret and anything (which is true) he can’t lie to you. You just have a power on him, he get overwhelmed everytime you’re here. So if he is hiding something all you have to do is to look at him right into his eyes and he would give up. 

Protective : not a surprise. He probably lost his whole family and some of his friends as well so he won’t let something happen to you. 

He might be even difficult than Lancelot, because he can be pretty bossy (especially because he works a lot as a leader) , he will order you to stay at your place and to not leave until it’s very necessary (meaning someone is in your house and you need to run away otherwise it’s never necessary for him). He just can’t loose you, it will break him. Also he tends to be distracted because fo you, you just had this power on him.  

Loving : As I said before the man is clingy, but it’s more than : his eyes are screaming « I love Y/N ». He sweats love. I can’t explain he is vibing his love. 

That’s why he is always close to you, always holding your hand, always kissing you (his kiss my god deep and slow to appreciate every second of it the type to take your breath away). When this man loves he L O V E S. When you’re in private he tends to be pretty clumsy which tends to get well... deeper when you two get intimate. Even when you’re not around people can tell when is thinking about you (99% of the time honestly) I won’t be surprised he is the worship type. 

Romantic : I don’t know he just seems to be the kind of man of taking you into a wood walking together until finding a cute little spot with a river or something. Since he is a fey he feels pretty close to earth in general. He is always spoiling you with meaning gift, like a flower who is supposed to represent love, buying you the book you were always talking about.

Maybe this is just me, but I can totally see him doing those kind of things like dancing with you while looking tenderly at you, always showing you off, writing you letter or anything. He spoils you a lot, anytime he gets the chance to buy something he knows you put interest on he would buy without a second thought. Since he is a fey, he is closed to the nature so he might even craft you something like a flower crown or anything. 

Passionate : I told you when he loves he loves, meaning everything he will do to you, he will do it while being 100% focused on you. He wants to cherish you, praises you, makes you feel like you’re a goddes in every way. 

I said his kiss would take your breath away but so does his smile or his caress, he does with such an intensity. No man had treated you like this before. During intimate moment, he would always whisper sweet things into your ear, worship your body as if you were a divinity. At the end of your session you can’t feel unloved that’s absolutely impossible. 

Merlin 

Tease : that’s how he flirts that’s how he seduces that’s how he shows you he loves you. Although he never does this to be mean, he can’t help but giggle at seeing you being all red from embarrassment or because you’re angry at him. 

Most of the time it’s a cute teasing, but when he wants to fluster you he won’t hesitate to use his skilled tongue to tease the hell out of you until you’re practically begging at him for his attention. Of course he will oblige. It’s just so natural for him that he would do it without even realize that he was teasing you. Most of the time it’s all planned, so he can get your attention without asking you to (he is so proud I swear). 

Jealous : okay so Lancelot is jealous in the primal way but Merlin is on another level. He wants you to be his, he wants everyone to know that you’re taken and he won’t tolerate someone flirting with you or even staring at you. 

Unlike Lancelot, Merlin won’t bother sending death glare instead he will fight them : using his power to trick them or using his silver tongue to make them feel like there nothing. Remember that scene with Lenore ? Where her future husband was talking shit about her ? All he wanted was to throw him a spell. Best believe he would the same to anyone who might be to close to you. You belong to Merlin and only him, also don’t expect him to be kind when you two would be at home after the incident. 

Loving : we saw the way he was looking at Lenore, this man like Gawain vibes love. It’s just written on his face, sometimes it’s cursed cause he is alway afraid someone might use you against him. 

But 99% of the time it’s a blessing, Merlin during his long life has experimented every aspect of love sexual or not. So he knows how to please you, he knows how to caress you, how to kiss you, and he is sucker of your reaction each of them are a piece of heaven for him. He is not as passionate as the green knight but you best believe that every inch of your skin would feel loved (and he doesn’t need to have you under him to do that). He has his way to look at you, anyone even people who never meet him before would noticed how he is into you. 

Secretive : because he loves you and would die for you. He tends to keep a lot of things for himself not that he doesn’t trust you, but in his mind the less you know the better. It’s always a matter of what to do to protect Y/N.

So yeah he would have a secret but will never lie to you, that’s something he can’t do to you. Besides he doesn’t need that he get a pretty skilled tongue and knows what to do to bring another subject instead of answering your question. Since he tends to tease you a lot, all he has to do is to tease you so he would be able to change the subject. At some points you would notice his behavior but since he does that all the time you understood that he might keeps so secret between you two which make you sad. Maybe one day you’ll confront him about it ? 

Shy : believe it or not, but the man still feels some butterflies on his stomach every times he sees you. That’s what make him shy. Because he knows he is falling in love but love can be tricky or dangerous so he is a bit afraid besides he knows he gets some reputation. 

So yeah sometimes he is flustered when he hear you laughing or just sees you smile at him.  He takes him time to admit that he is into you but once he admits it, this shyness will leave for a more playful Merlin.  He was with a lot of people during his life, but he tends to got shy everytime you’re acting “innocent”. When you’re taking him on a walk enjoying any treasure that you got from nature, or just enjoying the simple. One day you were in a city, and some bards where playing around you couldn't help but take his hand to dance with him. That spontaneity never failed to make him feel like a teenager living is first love. 

[bihexualboi]

“Self-Control” Endless Summer College AU

Chapter 3: Temptation

Author’s Note: A chapter-based series I plan to update as frequently as possible for my favorite Choices book ever. I was inspired to undertake this personal project because of a wonderful friend @mlmseangayle. Expect art of significant scenes in my fic. Hope y’all enjoy!

Synopsis: Emrys studies his academic courses extensively. Can Emrys learn to study other people? Or will he fall to their temptations?

Reporting the robbery to the police had taken longer than Emrys had expected, so he knew he didn’t have time to study once he went home. Before departing the scene he exchanged numbers with Estela giving her a quick embrace for saving him, which she was hesitant to receive at first but soon willing returned the hug. Emrys began walking toward his apartment complex noticing a crowd had formed around the area the incident occurred. Mumbled voices and hushed conversations of Hartfeld students and locals greeted Emrys as curious eyes surveyed his every movement. Outside he recognized a familiar face and distinctive curly hair he could spot amongst any crowd it was Diego. Diego hurriedly asked each bystander if they’ve seen someone fitting the description on his phone until he made eye contact with Emrys.

“Emrys! Oh my God! I’m so happy your okay,” he shouted as he ran toward Emrys wrapping him in an affectionate embrace. Diego began quietly sobbing into Emrys’ shoulder as he apologized in a weak voice, “I’m so sorry for saying those hurtful things to you. I didn’t mean to I was just so upset that we didn’t hang out this summer. But when I heard you’d left the apartment I asked Varryn to go home while I waited for you to come back. I didn’t know where you went so I waited a little longer until I heard the police sirens. I was terrified something happened to you, so I went outside trying find you. And now I know you’re okay. Now you’re here and you’re okay that’s all that matters.” Diego tightened his embrace placing his head on Emrys’ chest slowing down his intense breathing comfortable in Emrys’ arms. Emrys was delighted Diego cared about him so much.

He hadn’t seen Diego ever become so emotional about his safety. Once they pulled apart there was a moment of mutual desire as they gazed longing into each other’s eyes. Emrys knew this was his opportunity to confess everything he’s been repressing all summer the reason he’d avoided Diego. Emrys desperately wanted to kiss Diego passionately to reassure him that everything was okay, but he couldn’t that feeling of dread associated with losing Diego was too strong for him to surrender to this moment. To shift the mood he said “ I’m so glad you care about me that much. I don’t know what I did to deserve a best friend like you.” Diego eyes darted toward the ground for a split second slightly disappointed by Emrys’ response, but gave him a reassuring smile to avoid confronting Emrys about his feelings. He helped Emrys carry the groceries back to their apartment before heading to their respective rooms and going to bed. Emrys’ body naturally woke up to start his morning routine. 

Emrys usually wakes up before Diego, so he always makes breakfast for the pair of them before heading to his first class. Remembering Diego’s imminent hangover he concocted Raj’s special remedy to help his friend start a productive day. Emrys grabbed a few healthy snacks from his pantry and packed them in his book bag. Emrys’ class didn’t begin for another couple hours, so he enjoyed his breakfast while simultaneously reviewing the material he took notes on the previous day. Emrys cross referenced his personal notes with text from the book to fully grasp the concept his professor was lecturing about. He further researched topics on his laptop to gather any additional information about the subject. Emrys then began highlighting key topics with yellow marker and topics he found difficulty understanding in orange marker. Any topic highlighted in orange he’d create flashcards for once his professor elaborated further in the class discussion. It was a half hour before class began and Diego was still fast asleep, so Emrys decided to creep into his room and wake him up. 

Diego groggily awoke from his slumber feeling nauseous and unmotivated to get up. Emrys handed Raj’s remedy to Diego to help wane the effects of his hangover before his class. Diego began scarfing down his breakfast complimenting Emrys’ cooking with every bite as his friend continued focusing solely on his studying paying little attention to Diego’s comments. Emrys hugged Diego on his way out the door to his first class. Emrys finished his classes and headed to the library to meet up with his study group. Michelle glammed in a full face of makeup had been gathering books essential to the assignments and exams for the course. Grace had begun organizing which texts to prioritize if the study group couldn’t cover all the material that day. Aleister was typing review notes for the group to highlight the most pertinent information to the subject. Lastly, Emrys was editing typos on the same document as Aleister as he rapidly continued to transcribe the information from the textbooks to the computer. 

Once a document was typed Michelle would gather the printed papers and hand it to each individual member. The process continued until the group had a packet of review material they’d staple and begin openly discussing with each other. Emrys provided everyone with the snacks he had in his book bag to keep the team focused. Aleister would openly ask each member to answer questions he devised with the information to reinforce their memory of the subject. Grace would return books once the group finished discussing that particular topic. After the group had mentally exhausted their brains for a few hours they headed home.  Aleister placed an arm around Grace as the couple headed out. Michelle invited Emrys to join her at the coffee shop where she was meeting her online date Quinn. Emrys accepted and the two headed to the coffee shop to be greeted by the charming redhead dressed in a cute ensemble and braided fiery hair. 

Michelle placed a kiss on Quinn’s cheek as she introduced Emrys to her. Quinn subtly ogled Emrys without Michelle noticing, but Emrys definitely caught Quinn gaze at him with flirtatious intent. Quinn led Michelle and Emrys to their table. Michelle excused herself to the restroom to fix her makeup leaving Quinn and Emrys alone. Quinn then spoke “How do you know Michelle, Emrys? You two would make a cute couple,” Emrys responded flustered, “Well we’ve had the same classes together for the past few years. And we also have a study group with two other friends, but I’d say me and Michelle are exclusively friends.” Quinn questioned further “Are you not interested in girls, Emrys?” Emrys replied,“No it’s not that I’m bisexual actually, but I consider Michelle like a second sister I wouldn’t feel comfortable dating her.” Quinn intrigued reaches her hand onto Emrys’ lap, “Would you be interested in ditching this place and heading to my dorm to have some fun.” Emrys was so confused by the situation he didn’t know how to react. “But I thought you were here on a date with Michelle,” Emrys whispered.

“I was. She is a nice girl after all motivated, ambitious, and drop dead gorgeous might I add, but she hasn’t once hooked up with me in the two months we’ve been together,” Quinn muttered. “I don’t know what’s she’s waiting for it’s not like I can get her pregnant or anything. I’ve tested myself for STIs and I showed her my results were negative. And I haven’t had sex since or cheated on her. But every time I try to get intimate she backs out. Like, am I her first girlfriend? Is she scared she can’t satisfy me like her past boyfriends? I just don’t know what to do Emrys,” Quinn pleadingly admitted as she continued to stroke Emrys’ crotch forming an erection in his pants. Emrys couldn’t allow Quinn to seduce him he was loyal to Michelle, and would never do anything to hurt her. Emrys gently removed Quinn’s hand and said, “I’m sorry I can’t betray my friend like this. Just tell her how your feeling. Michelle is an understanding person just tell her, and I won’t speak any word of this.” Quinn thought about it for a moment before realizing Emrys was right. “Thanks for convincing me to talk to Michelle I figured she was too busy with studying to become a neurosurgeon that those conversations wouldn’t be well received,” Quinn said appreciatively. “But if me and Michelle don’t work out I wouldn’t mind vibing with you. It seems like your packing in those slacks. I’ll call you when I’m available.” 

Quinn places her number in Emrys’ hand as she immediately strides to the women’s bathroom swaying her hips with every step. Emrys now alone shoots a quick text to Michelle excusing himself from the coffee date with made up emergency. Once she replied that it was okay Emrys quickly gathered his things and headed home. Emrys returned home to find Diego on the couch napping while an episode of Stranger Things was playing on the television. Amidst the snacks on the coffee table Emrys noticed study materials and textbooks scattered about. He was happy Diego was taking his education seriously and smiled proudly at him as he continued to snore. Emrys began cleaning up the mess and organizing Diego’s textbooks and notes. Emrys turned off the television before carrying Diego to his room and tucking him in. Emrys stared at how peaceful Diego slept and headed to his own room to get some assignments done along with additional studying. When Emrys undressed himself he realized his erection was still pulsing, so he strolled into the bathroom to relieve himself before finishing up for the day.

Click for more: Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

[cmbynreviews]

The gay melodrama and fantasy of "Call Me by Your Name"

“I have touched you for the last time, is it a video?”

The summer of 1983, two years after the debut of MTV and the popularization of the music video, is where we find Timothée Chalamet’s teenage Elio, attempting to seduce one of his father’s visiting grad students (Armie Hammer’s Oliver). Elio’s seduction is in his movements – how he wriggles his hips like Michael Jackson, David Bowie, or Madonna in their early ’80s videos, how he keeps his bedroom door open at night to let the moonlight suggest his intentions, how he darts around Oliver’s body during conversations like an archaeologist examining an unearthed statue.

In translating a book like André Aciman’s Call Me by Your Name into a film, a book that focuses so much on the interior fantasies of its protagonist, director Luca Guadagnino had quite the task. As it turns out, Guadagnino is adept at creating fantasy himself – the film plays like a VHS tape you’ve rewound several times, hoping to relive the magic of the first time it played out before your eyes. The question at hand in Call Me by Your Name then, becomes: Is it even possible?

The melodramatic setting of the Italian countryside, with its rolling hills, sensual swimming pools and waterfalls, and the looming architecture of Italy’s past plays to how the film explores the apocryphal nature of memory. Singer-songwriter Sufjan Stevens, with his nebulously Christian rock music, contributes new material to the film’s soundtrack that questions how we remember our past. “Oh, to see without my eyes / the first time that you kissed me”, Stevens sings on “Mystery of Love”, reflecting on Elio and Oliver’s first intimate encounter. Elio lived that moment, yes, but perhaps his memory has betrayed him? The film’s conclusion leaves Elio on the verge of tears, morosely remembering his now-expired relationship with Oliver as Stevens’ “Visions of Gideon” poses the question: “Is it a video? Is it a video? Is it a video?”

After all, if the moment truly happened the way Elio remembers it, wouldn’t Oliver still be with him? Wouldn’t he have been there in person at Christmas when Elio’s family returns, instead of phoning him with the devastating news that he’s engaged?

Stevens explores the doubt of our memories in “Visions of Gideon”, which refers to the biblical prophet Gideon who God shepherded toward a surprise victory. For many young gay men who have their first sexual encounter, it can be impossible to know if the conclusion was foregone or an act of divine intervention. In a society with few depictions of romantic love between gay men, let alone in their formative years as teens, how could Elio know what was actually possessing him? It takes a conversation with his father, Michael Stuhlbarg’s Lyle, to process his feelings and recognize that there is a precedent for his emotions. Oliver offers him no such guidance, save for sexual tutelage, because Elio later learns that he was merely a summer affair: Oliver had a woman back in the United States, a woman he knows intimately enough to marry.

And so Elio scribbles journal entries to keep a record of his memories, like the time he accuses Oliver of giving him the cold shoulder. Oliver, 24, tells 17-year-old Elio to “grow up”, however, and insinuates that this interpretation of events is Elio’s alone. If so, even Elio’s own words have betrayed him – the desire for “is it a video?” becomes a refrain to scrutinize his memories and Oliver’s and determine the truth. Not that a video would provide much resolution. You could turn on television in the ’80s and see George Michael shaking his ass in denim jeans and still believe he was straight. You could see Rock Hudson playing a straight leading man on Dynasty while he privately died of AIDS. The only thing Elio knows is that he has indeed touched and loved Oliver for the last time.

The first time I became aware of the fragility of our romantic memories was in recalling my own first encounter with another man. Much like Elio, mine was with an older man. But the situation, exchanging addresses through a computer in the cold winter of Chicago while I was a college student, couldn’t be more different from Elio’s interactions with Oliver. And yet, the way we navigate sexual relationships is not at all different from Elio and Oliver’s. The cat-and-mouse game is no different than messaging a man on a computer over a decade ago, or via an app on your phone – intent can be lost in the language of a sterile electronic conversation, just as Elio fails to notice that Oliver was flirting with him when he pressed his fingers to his back after a game of volleyball.

Call Me by Your Name draws its romantic nature from the idea that we’ve each crafted a fantasy of what romance is. For Elio, it’s sweeping romantic gestures. The mechanics of sex is pleasurable, but he finds distaste in masturbation, in touching his own semen, and he comes quickly in each of his encounters. For Oliver, he puts on a fine performance of a romantic suitor, but he’s about sex and the emotions are second. Perhaps what Elio truly learns is that in his mind, as he made his summer with Elio worthy of the Brontë sisters, it was not the most important moment in Oliver’s life.

Is this film telling us that the illusion of romance is just that? An illusion? Perhaps, but then Guadagnino has produced such a lush film, brimming with the beauty of nature. So is his own point of view at odds with the film’s? Guadagnino’s film ends with Oliver calling Elio to play the romantic game they devised during their affair, where Oliver told Elio, “Call me by your name, and I’ll call you by mine”. Aciman’s novel, however, ends with Oliver and Elio meeting years later and Elio silently despairing that if Oliver ever truly loved him, he would once again “look me in the face, hold my gaze, and call me by your name”.

Guadagnino’s adaptation does away with this end, perhaps because it’s depressing, but also because it’s not how he views love. It’s why his film relies so much on the music of Sufjan Stevens, who once said in an interview with The Atlantic, “It’s not so much that faith influences us as it lives in us. In every circumstance, I am living and moving and being”. Call Me by Your Name suggests that Elio doesn’t truly need to know whether Oliver loved him. Because he has his feelings, he has his VHS tape of their moments together to dust off and replay in his mind, and if he wants it to be true, then it is true. It’s a gift to a gay audience that rarely receives a homosexual romance that doesn’t end in tragedy, and who turn to cinema to escape their own disappointment-filled lives. To take in a fantasy-like romance of a young man and an older suitor; to ignore the incredibly unsexy encounter they may have had, during a cold Chicago winter, with an older man whose idea of romance was muting The Late Show with David Letterman, the flickering of the television set mirroring a young college student’s saccharine idea of their first, candlelit sexual encounter.

Guadagnino asks us to disregard that the entire summer could have been in his imagination, another one of the stories that his mother reads to him at night to comfort him. Conceivably, Elio’s father may be the most important in the film. He’s a professor who uses remnants of the past to shape his own interpretations of events. When speaking of one of the statues he and Oliver excavates from the ocean, the professor describes it as “begging you to desire them”. How does he know? He has faith.

IRA MADISON III | DAILY BEAST | 24 Nov 2017