#LISTEN I JUST DONT LIKE BEING MEAN OK
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learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way
#experiencing some BIG FEELINGS OVER THIS REVELATION#listen i have never ever been bothered abt not seeing someone in a while or making time to talk to them bc in my mind its like not thst muc#time has passed. i mean it with every fibre of my being that when im like 'oh its ok even though we havent talked in a while and have our#own things going on it doesnt mean we're not friends anymore since we left things on a good note 8 months ago' i sincerely believe that#and for the longest time i just thought everybody makes peace with it at some point and not automatically assuming the other person doesnt#wanna talk to me anymore or smth. my longest lasting friendships are with ppl who work the same way i just thouhght that was normal#whatever organ everybody has that makes them reach out to their friends and plan hang outs i probably dont have it#i was already hesitant to ask out Alex bc i spend almost every waking hour doing smth that isnt talking to ppl unless they happen to be in#the vicinity. and at first it was bc i planned on making sure i had everything set up so i dont get stressed out and do it one at a time#but then i find out theres a friendship decay mechanic? and after dating and marrying someone you lose -10 friendship points for every#day u dont talk to them?? actually ive probably been losing friendship points this whole time without knowing bc of this?????#and i notice a lot of my own habits are also reflected in how i play bc ive been avoiding getting close to pierre and marnie since its more#of a professional relationship. like i know theyre npcs but im approaching it the way i would in real life its fucking nuts#i think its a little relieving im playing /as/ a character than myself bc as im playing im just making up little interactions in my head#than approaching things the way i would myself so it takes a bit of the stress off trying to put myself in there as a spectator. but well#being in a relationship demands a certain amount of energy even more so when theyre things that already take up energy on its own#like making time to talk to your partner and make sure they know theyre loved. i dont always have energy to put all my mental focus into it#and this is true for real life so im not really bothered by not dating anyone. but when its a game and i want my character to be with someo#and i know its fully optional and i know i could just apply the same logic to this i dont /want/ to. sometimes i want to experience#the same things other people do at least to a certain degree without the same emotional andmental stakes#no offense krobus#yapping#stardew#stardew valley#puppy plays sdv#sdv#this game has me by the ankles man
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spent a good portion of the last few days babysitting my little cousins who are between the ages of 0 and 6 (theres 4 of them but i wasnt with all of them the whole time), and im just thinking like. i think people overdramatize how "annoying" kids are. like i rarley get annoyed with small children. teenagers, absolutley - but little kids? it kind of befuddles me how people can "hate little kids"when they are so sweet and well intentioned and devoid of negative intent. like its so hard to get mad at someone who is just a little guy that is so in awe of the world and everything in it. like ? yeah sometimes its annoying when theyre loud, but not more annoying than when adults and teens are loud. honestly. its often less annoying. again, hard to get mad at small children when they are so well intentioned and so unaware of so many things. they have such a bare bones concept of what is causing issues for other people...and the great thing is if you explain it to them theyre a lot more receptive to it than adults tend to be. as someone with severe auditory sensory issues, im well experienced with asking adults to stop doing things that are making noises that are causing me intense physical pain, and they tend to get up in arms about it. they have an entitlement that children honestly dont. a lot of people think of children as entitled, but when i tell my 6 year old cousin "hey, could you please stop kicking the wall, that makes my headaches worse, and that makes me sad" or "could we take a break from listening to music, im starting to feel overwhelmed" or something like that, they either do the thing i asked or they dont but they just politley ignore me about it instead of getting defensive and angry and insulting me. and if the second thing happens you can just go to plan b, which is finding something that they like, and drawing their attention to that, so they stop doing the thing that was annoying. i think a lot of people who think all children are entitled and annoying maybe do too much yelling at children and not enough talking politley to them and explaining why they want them to do certain things. it does wonders to just tell a child, "please stop, thats making me sad." or "i know youre having fun, but can we do a different activity for a little while?". i think theyre more receptive to this sort of thing than adults because theyre so early in the process of "figuring out how the world works" that they are openly accepting of the idea that they sometimes need to learn new things! they dont feel threatened by the idea that theyre in the wrong, unless you make them, by being mean to them about it. and so if you just dont be mean to them about it, it works out in the end.
#not being holier than thou to Some extent i think some ppl just get more stressed by kids than others & thats ok#personally i honestly get sooooo stressed and angry when interacting with adults and often also teenagers#i mean. not ALL the time but it Happens. if i dont get along with somebody i REALLY dont get along with them....#i have an issue with accidently escalating things into arguments#kids are just one million times easier to talk to than adults#moral of the story is dont yell at children because They dont like that#if you dont be mean to kids they trust you and when they trust you they listen to you#meeting them where there at is essential#unfortunatley doing this with teenagers and adults is nearly impossible and thats why i have one thousand billion enemies probably#adult interaction is just so much more complicated....#little kids havent developed social cues yet#also kids are too cute that if i yelled at a child the guilt would consume me forever#text
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why are ppl always so mean about taz :(
#every time theres a new arc everyone who only liked balance is like 'oh if u dropped off after balance u have to listen to THIS arc bc its#JUST LIKE BALANCE'#every damn time.#it happened with ethersea a bit but especially w steeplechase and vs dracula#and u get ppl in the notes of these posts saying 'oh yeah i fucking hated everything after balance sooo glad theyre finally doing exactly#what i want them to!!'#like. its ok to have personal preference but dont be mean about it :(#and comparing every campaign to balance is rlly annoying sry#let them be their own thing#stop being so blinded by nostalgia ig#like not to be rude but. i think ppl think balance is the most Perfect Thing Ever but its rlly...not#all the campaigns have flaws but i aint canceling them for that#like what happened with grad#idk its like if balance came later ppl would probably be much more mean about it#bc they wouldnt be blinded by nostalgia as much or smthn#anyways#at the end of the day the mcelroys shouldnt be expected to make a replica of balance every campaign#and thats not what theyre trying to do. theyre doing what THEY personally want to do. like they clearly dont care abt what others think lol#theyre experimenting and having fun#its like. a free podcast with a bunch of silly dudes playing for funsies. they shouldnt have such high expectations or be demonized#in any way#my point being. if i see anyone being mean abt taz u get blocked#>:(#coon speaks#not tagging taz. i dont wanna see nasty ppl in my notifs ty
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hm.
#if you find yourself worried that growing in faith will remove parts of your personality becayde you might suddenly lose interest in#what makes you you#thats something you really have to like Investigate. deep down. because in the end even if you change a bit you will be Better. l#like you will be where God wants you to be#the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked etc#like i GET IT but also . growing in faith doesnt make you a Totally Different Person it doesnt take away all your interests#maybe it changes how you interact with them and the importance you place on them but like#me being more spiritually mature than i was a year ago doesn't mean that im not interested in poetry anymore or i dont like all the media#im invested in anymore#EVEN when i felt called to stop listening to secular music#i was like oh well ill just be boring now#no girl theres worlds out there of good music by christian artists you just gotta find it#anyways. this is rambly#i cant really make this concise#but really like. sometimes you gotta reconsider your priorities#God created you as you are WITH your personaliyy#sure we were born in sin etc but your personality being sanctified does not mean that you will lose it#yk#anyways#reminds me of this story abt a guy asking an older brother about if he should be listening to secular music#and the brother was like . ok well first off answer me this#if God told you to only listen to ska music for the rest of your life would you listen#and the guy was like ?? what??? no???#and the brother was like well then you still place your preferences higher than Gods#kind of silly and i do still think theres nuance in the music thing#but like. Yk. The Basic Idea
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people who stop liking things just because it gets popular are the most shallow people ever no one cares if you like something popular like what you want to like art is made to be celebrated
#luc posts#like im not talking about people who dont like popular things bc thats cool like whatever you like i really don't care#im talking about the people who like something (a singer or band or something) but as soon as it gets popular/mainstream they completely+#+stop listening to it bc they dont want to be seen as basic?#like i mean for no other reason than it getting popular like ok??? you hate seeing art getting celebrated??? you hate seeing artists get+#+the recognition they deserve??? thats just weird#no one gives a shit if you listen to the music thats on the radio every day (if they do then they're weird bc music taste is personal)#listen to whatever you want#whether that's some underground folk singer who has a pet goat that shows up in every music video or the chart topping music good for you#art is meant to be celebrated stop acting like something being highly celebrated is a sign of being boring?#basic is a social construct there is literally no such thing as long as you're happy it doesnt matter and if other people care then they're#weird bc policing people's tastes is just strange#celebrate the art you want to celebrate support the artists you like genuinely no one cares if you like something mainstream oh my god#thank you for coming to my ted talk#music
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I'm piggybacking a bit off of the last ask of asking for writing tips but I have an odd question... Am I the only person that struggles actually PICKING a book? It's the absolute bane of my existence because I feel like I can be so picky... Don't get me wrong, I love being a bookworm, and I'm trying to get back into reading physical books but it's so difficult to find a real taste of what the book is like without being completely spoiled or something... I miss when backs of books had an actual summary and not just NO.1 NEW YORK BESTSELLER!!!! It's so frustrating... I've been trying to get back into it by re-reading fond chapter childhood books read to me (The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane & A Wrinkle In Time). But at the same time I'm also trying to get into more "adult" books that isn't... Well, you try googling "adult books" and see how that goes, I didn't think too hard about what a poor decision THAT was. But I'm working up the courage to read Cat's Cradle right now to start with "Classic Authors" I guess!
Anyway I'm rambling here, I guess my question is... How do you pick out the books you read? I don't really have friends that read many books to recommend to me :')
Thank you in advance, Bog! I hope you get a callback from that interview soon!
no ok actually you've mentioned something that's been bothering me for a while - What The Hell Do Y'all Mea, Books Don't Have Summaries Anymore???? i have not once in my life found a book that didn't have a summary. i was in barnes & noble recently and everything i looked at had a summary. i have literally never seen a book without one in my life of reading & looking at new books on a regular basis
softcovers have theirs on the back. hardcovers are on the inside of the sleeve - lift the cover and it should be printed right there on the inside flap! summaries aren't legally required but both the author and Especially the publisher(s) know that no one's gonna buy a book without a summary. trust me, all books worth reading have a summary. if a book doesn't have one, it's probably not worth your time anyway. you just gotta know where to look!
so my answer to how i choose books... i read the summary lmao. if it seems interesting, ill either write it down to get later or ill get it there and then.
Before the summary though, i look for any titles that jump out at me from the shelf. then i look at the thickness. i like a bit of meat in my literature, so i tend to shy away from thinner books. thicker ones grab my attention more easily. then i look at the cover - if it interests me, then ill read the summary. i don't have specific tastes in title or cover. as long as it makes my brain "hm" thoughtfully, ill take a gander!
and really, if you have access to a bookstore (chain or not, ive found plenty of bangers in tiny used bookshops) or library, the best way to find a book is to physically browse. even if you dont buy anything, you can take pictures of books / write them down to buy online. but going to the store lets you search them out, examine the length, cover, title, summary - and easily put it back on the shelf or keep it. i hate shopping online bc there's ads, you can't examine the product, nothing really stands out since it's all portrayed similarly, there's limited pictures instead of the physical thing, and photos can lie.
plus, everything is (typically) meticulously sorted by genre & age range. when you go into a section with literature aimed at adults, you'll find exactly that instead of smut novels lmao. real life bookstores can be more accurate than online searches. & there's just something so good about walking through shelves, searching for that one book before you know it exists, smelling the paper... yeah...
#like for example i recently bought priory of the orange tree#ive been wanting it for a while and havent read it yet since im finishing something else#BUT! i remember when i first saw it#nothing had gotten my attention for a while#but then i saw the thickest fucking book ive seen in ages - which was automatically very sexy of it#and then the title was unique - priory of the orange tree??? whoah! what the fuck does that mean!!!#so automatically there was the interest of neat title + a new word that i get to learn + the implications of the word now that i understand#and then i picked the book up and it was deliciously heavy - & there was a Dragon on the cover. which. YES PLEASE#then the summary was fascinating!! the book was immediately seared into my brain! im very excited to read it#so thats a highly successful example of my book choosing Process#it checked all of my boxes so it was a win#most books dont check all of my boxes but as long as it hits most of them im down to clown yk yk#but yeah im picky too so! nothing wrong with being picky or having high standards!#rambles from the bog#my shelves are fuckin Full of books ranging from 'it was ok' to 'I WILL RECOMMEND THIS TO ALL WHO WILL LISTEN'#and then i have a drawer filled with books that i just could not care less about / dont like#but dont have the heart to throw away bc. well putting a book in the trash kills a part of my soul#i need to donate them...#but yes! i hope that helps!#and Thank You! i hope i get a callback as well...
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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.
#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting#married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i#said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with#a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive#ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could#talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed#i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man#and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in#front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love#or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than#they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw#im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the#kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off#somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it#and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already#and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone#else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit#and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these#decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.
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she's so arrogant and annoying and hot it pisses me off !!!
#like have some shame omg . have some respect#shes soooo certain i will date her she keeps saying shes not worried she doesnt care etc etc bc she knows i want to date her#not even that. she Declared we were dating. like when i was like do u even want this. not just going on dates but acc dating. and she was#like wdym? im already dating you . like ok??? i wasnt informed ig#anyway i said she was arrogant and she said she knows so.#also she did several things when she was drunk that i found cringe/i personally would b embarrassed if i was her but she just found it funn#like genuinely does she have no sense of shame#also her reasoning is that shes too hot to be rejected and since im talking to her instead of... not that makes her certain that#no matter what i say i wont reject her#WHICH MAKES ME WANT TO REJECT HER. DONT TELL ME WHAT I WANT OR WHAT TO DO. UGH.#I WANT TO FIGHT HER FR MEIN GOTT#also i want her to be more romantic i literally told her im not asking her out on the next date lmao#also if we do end up dating properly i have to swear and oath never to argue w her and just communicate slowly and clearly bc imagine#lawyer and philosophy student get into an argument and theyre both scorpios. insane combination imo#INSUFFERABLE. she was also 40 mins late and tbf she did warn me and keep me updated but i was still rly mad at her bc#i was waiting for so long . and i was like . listen im gonna leave. and she walked thru the door. but anyway she apologised but also she#said no ones ever threatened to leave her b4. what do you mean before?? anyway i told her to respect my time more and she was like i cant#believe im being told off by a 21 yr old like bitch ur literally 24 stop acting ancient fuck off#UGH SHES SO IRRITATING. WHY DOESNT SHE CALL ME MORE.#crushposting
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very very personal, just insight into where im at w my family and things that bother me/have encouraged me to move out
"i know youre moving out so im just gonna say no ones kicking you out and if you feel like this is something you have to do then ok"
thanks! i know im not being kicked out! but yknow i kinda yet a weird vibe when your out of touch husband takes me to a cemetery to yell at me, tell me im just like my father/dont give my father "the time of day", and that im "mean to people who care about me" in front of his dead mother's grave in a poor attempt at guilting me out of speaking my mind. but no yeah thanks for stating the fucking obvious that im leaving on my own terms
#problems!#people seem to underestimate how quick i am to make moves#the job market is piss. cant believe yall two would blame me for being unemployed when all i do from rise to slumber is hound ppl for jobs#im not going to stay in a house where i will be 'scared straight'. that shit doesnt work on me. in fact it has the opposite effect#i respect yall even LESS now#and youre so so fucking lucky one of my goals for next year is to make things right with you it would be easy to cut you off forever#same way i did with my abusive transphobic dad.#my mom is someone i know can do better and can actually listen to reason instead of being stuck in her generation's mentality of#'x is easy if you just do y. you kids have it so easy the world is at your fingertips' blah blah fucking blah#i am autistic i do not keep jobs easily. i am trans jobs do not want me. i am black and perceived as a woman. every customer at all of my#past jobs thinks i am rude or mean or have an attitude when i do nothing but treat others the exact way i would want to be treated#customers dont like what i say? i stop talking. customers dont like when i dont talk? i talk to them. rinse repeat#like i know im the problem here but all of my problems circle back to my autism and the fact that because im not a supergenius or#someone whose special interest is capitalism i fail at every avenue i try to jam myself in.#but yeah no i need to work harder i need to be taken to a FUCKING CEMETERY and yelled at by YOUR HUSBAND for wanting to go to the bathroom#in front of his mothers grave. god rest her soul and yall know im no christian so i actually mean that shit#because in his mind all i want to do is smoke and party. when i smoke because i have fucking migraines and g to shows#(two out of three of them being free and for the purpose of their willingness to 'get me out of the house')#bc i like music and i like engaging w my scene. but no its all violent noise theres no actual purpose or activism behind moshing. nope#its just one big party right. im just wasting my time right. because i like sleepin on a couch every night with no doors to close. yep ok#anyway heres to me getting my meds getting the fuck out and being somewhat far from my scene now that im moving#hows that for smoking and partying all the time huh?#if any of yall read this i am so so sorry. bitching about my stepdad will become a thing i think#hes one of those bible thumpers that are totally boring and indifferent to differences around them and thinks my mom is just like him#in some ways? she is. but she is a people pleaser and will never take her wants or her feelings seriously#because she had the unfortunate upbringing in being brainwashed into thinking her feelings/wants are sinful#shoutout to my christian or catholic mutuals who are fucking normal and dont let some old fantasy novel control your life. peace#religion mention
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its a little disappointing to see most of the Grand Fest arranges of the splatoon idol music arent gonna be on Ordertune... but that is what the actual real life live versions are for i suppose
#like i know in my heart i was gonna prefer listening to the actual live versions anwyay#but like... ... its a little sad knowing there will be things missing#well. i suppose the eventual surimilive (presumably what it will be called) CD couldddd potentially have them/???#i mean both shiokalive and haikalive both had ingame versions of the setlists tacked on#tentalive didnt tho... so it was probably just for filling out time on the cd#then again if Surimilive ends up being more than an hour they might split it into two CDs to begin with. maybe.#so thats another disc where theyd need to fill out the time... maybe...#im talking into the void here dont mind me#bri talks#nobody cares about this but me but thats ok cause this is my blog hauouse
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I can't think of anything that could kill a generative ai system faster than letting it pull from blogs on here, its going to be fed so many erroneous callouts and pointless discourse posts that its gonna generate a way to speedrun offing itself
#jay talkin#im making jokes but fucking hell the internet sucks nowadays#i love witnessing the rot in real time (<--said extremely mentally healthily haha u can trust)#im listening to monkey wrench on repeat. feeling normal#i mean hey yr shits already been jacked by ai if it was gonna be. sorry. it woulda happened like last year at its peak#sites being more open abt it now and adding opt out toggles dont mean its just suddenly gonna start happening#believe me they were all already trawled by little ai fucknuts already. sucks but its the truth#ai bros notably do not care abt legality they have already trawled every site. all u can do is fight back best u can#damage has been done. dont fall into despair via scaremongering and doom posting#do what u can to protect yrself and yr shit snd spread info on how to do that#glaze yr art if yr an artist. opt out of shit when u can. its fucking rough out here#ai is p solely focused on ripping off whatever is most marketable or 'realistic' bc it is a capitalist leach#and nobody involved in it has a soul enough to recognise art if it spat in their face#it fucking sucks that we're still dealing w it but i promise u this capitalist mass-market tendency#is gonna end up w it poisoning itself w its own shite imagery to the point of death so#it WILL fuck off eventually. hold on w the hope of that ok. n protect yr shit. alright#oh and dont share any info u wldnt want stolen but u shldnt be doing that anyway for internet safety reasons#love u all my artists in arms i hope ai dies sooner rather than later and i hope u get to piss on its corpse#love the lawsuit speedruns this place is pulling lately. yall hadnt had yr fill last week huh
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my family always decides to go to the beach when i physically can not go into the water
#im debating whether to go tomorrow bc on one hand literally what am i going to do besides sit there and bask in the sub#i mean i guess i could read#and nap#and put my feet in the water idk#but again on the other hand i kind of feel bad for my little brother for playing by himself#i mean like me and my older brother played by ourselves all the time#but i think my little brother is also lonely so i feel bad#ill probably end up going#ive been listening to podcasts so hopefully i can like? listen to it at the beach?#the veach we go to has such shit service man#but yeah i do have a giant stack of books ive been planning on reading#and downloaded songs that dont need service to listen to#depending on if i fucking wake up on time since its fucking 1 am rn#michi tag#another con of going to the beach besides boredom is that my little brother starts bullying me for not going into the water#hes like oh are you chicken? scared of the water? and starts making chicken noises you know#like an annoying little brother does#and i cant straight up tell him its bc i am actively bleeding bc despite him almost being a middle schooler im fairly sure the school didnt#give the fifth graders like sex ed?#im not sure if WE got sex ed but we got like. puberty ed#does that make sense. they separated the boys and girls and showed us the exact same movie/documentary so isk why they separated us#and its like these are the changes going to happen to your body :) and a crash course onto all that#i dont think it actually went into sec but it didnt matter i knew abt it anyways at a horrified seven years old#imagine sitting at the dinner table and youre not paying attention and then suddenly your dad grabbed a condom and your mom grabbed a banana#and theyre giving your brother (and also you) the sex talk and youre sitting there like literally what the fuck are you talking about?#i remember staring at that banana like that poor banana??? like i heard what they were saying but my brain was like ???? ok i guess and just#shoved it into the useless information i know section 😭#and then when i actually had sex ed in school i would just periodically go oh yeah i remmeber that#ANYWYAS my point is my little brother doesnt know abt periods i think and i cant straight up tell him abt it and im mad#i daydream about going its cuz im on my period and direction him to my parents when he asks so they can deal with the fallout
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I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think
#someone very recently acknowledged something that usually goes unseen and it wasn't even that great of an acknowledgement but ive just been#staring at the messages every once in a while. its great. not really i sort of feel like a real weirdo#im very lonely. i cant say why but let it be known that i am very lonely#ok i have a question to those who lie their eyes upon this post: tell me what you know about me please?#so much lies in my social perception and i am just. not being perceived. at all. darn#i have a lot to cry about but morally i dont think i should-- specifics would mean being mean to the people i love#talking to anyone anymore just makes me feel horrible. doing anything anymore makes me feel horrible..tmbg has my back though ill live for#another.week or a few. and then my birthday will happen and rhen um#.Well. it sucks that sucks man. i dont want to disclose my age but to elaborate on why ACTUALLY HOLD ON#the thing i am about to say is not true; it is a metaphorical thing: it is my 21st birthday soon.#i decided that i wouldnt live past this age around 5 years ago and the only reason ive lived five years is being killed this year. i dont#think every thing ive been desperately clinging on to for the past 2 (?) years can keep me alive past then..i think im going to die. i have#to#NO MORE BEING A DOWNER#fox (vulpes vulpes) on the Internet for the first time#okay maybe a little more..i dont know who im talking to in this post. my friends do not read my tumblr and. i dont know anyone else.really.#uh#I'm listen to tmbg right now i love them#hey reader; i can only think of 3 people who see enough about me to check my blog. so i have separate questions for the each of you.#one of you likes (liked? school came in and i couldnt see your blog much past then; idk if its changed) tmbg. what do you think of The Else?#and uh you there... the guyyy. Google john flansburgh..i dont have a reason to this one ive just not been able to stop thinking about askin#you what you think of him.#um third person..... um#okay theres nothing iecan ask. i do want to apologize to you though: im sorry.#iThis is bullshit#im gonna delete this soon#Um also sorry if my wording here is. really wack. i tend to do that#i dont think anyones going to see this as is always#i think i just like talking to the hypothetical beast. yeah
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anon im not gonna post that one, not bc of anything you said dw, im just not 100% sure if we are thinking of the same person bc i havent been paying attention if the posts i saw all came from the same op, and even tho there's no names in either of our things i still wouldnt feel comfortable spreading that w/o having seen it firsthand. that being said, in the event that we are: jesus fuck???
#i have to wonder if ppl like that actually care abt the media itself at all or if its just a vehicle for discourse to them#like if you dont want to hear opinions different from yours youre free to not talk to the rest of the fandom but you dont get to#demand everyone else drop their interpretations and agree with yours#esp bc theres always like. an implied 'or else' at the end where the punishment is Being Called Transmisogynistic Disingenuously#and its just like . ok and? ur gonna do that anyways#anyways yeah. its wild#im reminded also of something i saw a few months ago‚ im glad it didnt metastisize into full discourse#but essentially i saw a few ppl arguing over like. 'dave kinnies shut up homestuck isnt an inherently transmasc story just#because it cracked a lot of you. its a transfem story period.' and im just there like 👁️👄👁️ hey lets all go outside ! and listen to#some birds!! talk to a friend!!!!#like. it . doesnt have to be one or the other?? it can just. be inherently trans???? or even inherently ambiguously queer in general???#if you are transfem you will see it as inherently transfem because we project ourselves onto art#and vice versa transmascs will see it as inherently transmasc#bc like. gender can be a large part of our identity and a lot of us grew up with homestuck being a large part of our identity so it makes#sense that a lot of people would closely associate the two‚ and in turn why people are extra defensive about it#but its also like. just bc it makes sense doesnt mean its a healthy way of approaching it yknow?#anyways. rant over‚ and again hope you dont mind me not posting the ask itself#origibberish#gibberasks#editing bc i realized i was unclear: i am transmasc not transfem‚ the 'our' in that one tag is referring to Everyone nendjsbf
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still thinking about Hurricane is the only song listed as a theme to a character. like yeah some of the songs have listed narrators/writers but Hurricane specifically is Johnnie's song and his song alone
#what does it meeean#more like what DO it mean HA#im hilarious (lie)#making myself emotional over this because of my own headcanons#just like. the vn movie heavily implied Johnnie isnt actually part of the PR#(or at least they're willing to play without him and not notice his absence)#but like. he's the narrator of two of their songs#either A. they wrote about him either pre or post his death or B. he wrote the songs and they performed it#im more partial to B because like. he's the youngest and both of his older brothers are the leaders of something (either TWE or a band)#and like. ok maybe it's a personal interpretation of him because im me but he always seemed like he was trying to prove himself kinda#he's the youngest. the wild child. the reckless one. both your brothers are so talented and recognized and then....there's you#you just want to be seen and listened to#like he can help improve the world enders if he can get Alex to listen to him. if he could prove to Alex that his idea would work#hurricane is *his* song. that's something *he* made and I imagine he'd be proud of that#ugh none of this canon and we dont even have confirmation that johnnie even is the youngest (he is)#but here I am making myself emotional over this dumbass#anyway ignore me im having a moment of projection. despite being the middle child I DO remember what it was like to be the youngest#dani speaks#lord huron#johnnie redmayne
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#umm he couldnt even be bothered to react to my messages with emojis?!?!?#like he said that he isnt up for talking and i respect that#i asked him if it's still ok for me to message him and he said 'ofc'#so i did.... i had to push myself bc im feeling like he hates me and doesnt wanna hear from me#all of my disorders saying that haha#so i pushed myself to message him when i wanted to#but.... ok i didnt expect him to reply#but he read it and didnt even give me an emoji#im aware that i sound crazy#this is just how im FEELING#i feel stupid and ashamed for thinking he even wants to listen to me yap about nonsense#i hate myself for being so stupid and sending him pics and a video of the crow i saw#like shut up dumb bitch nobody cares!!!!!!!! shut up#no wonder he cant be in love with me#im pathetic and stupid#his ex that he actually loves is probably smart and witty and cool#and would never be such a fkn loser like i an#am*#god... genuinely hate myself#why dont i know how to shut up??#definitely wont be messaging him anymore now jesus christ im so embarrassing#im still hurt tho like couldnt he at least have reacted with an emoji#is that too much to ask for......#i mean listen in any relationship#where u have disorders.. communication and BOTH ppl making an effort is needed#the only way our 'friendship' is even working is bc im just allowing him to do whatever#and im just dealing with the emotional suffering lol#he doesnt even make an effort to reassure me or anything#so yes i cant force him or ask anything of him. but i FEEL hurt by how im not worthy of anything to him#while im over here allowing him to hurt me constantly sksksk
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