#LIKE AHHHHHHH
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The lyric from suffering that always gets me is "the things I do for you" because THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS ARE YOU FRIGHTENED????(I had a opportunity i took it) but like this whole time he's been pretending to be talking to penelope and I do think that line was meant towards the real penelope! Because at that moment he's making himself a monster FOR HER he's killing those sirens FOR HER he's doing whatever it takes FOR HER!!!
#like ahhhhhhh#the things he does for her<3#odysseus x penelope#penelope#penelope of ithaca#odysseus#the odyssey#epic the musical#suffering#epic the thunder saga#epic odysseus#greek mythology#epic musical#epic
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I love love love that woe.begone shows how different living conditions shape a character differently. like yeah Mikey, Mdawg, MW, nobody, etc. are all the same person but they are all different due to different circumstances in their lives that forced them to evolve and diverge from one another.
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TBH ID LVOE TO SEE U. LIKE. DO A FULL ANALYSIS ON ROUND 3 FOR IVAN?? if not thats okay ur js so cool bro...
AHHH I LOVE THIS QUESTION ROUND 3 IS ONE OF TOP FAVORITES RIFHT BEHIND EOUND 6
and even better yet I already did a pretty in depth analysis that i will break down for you rn. I wont analyze the song this post but if you want id be willing to in a later post heheh
(Ok so, this wouldve been done like yesterday but when i finished this analysis i forgot to save it and went to do smth else and when i came back IT WAS ALL GONE soooo there thats…..)
Round three starts off with Ivan and an unnamed character going on stage, from this episode we can see Ivan’s character being displayed throughout the song.
Some things that are displayed clearly is Ivan’s love for Till and his lack of rebellious spirit. However even this has layers of complexity I think needs to be explored.
Above, we see Ivan hanging off the building by an alien, while the other kids walking away or turning their backs to them. While he hangs off the cliff he looks up at the sky, staring at the stars instead of the alien himself. Next we see a closeup of his face as a shadow passes over him, however the stars still reflecting in his eyes.
Because it seems like Ivan is the only kid being hung off the building, we can assume this is because he did something that the aliens considered wrong. Perhaps either disobeying them aggressively or just not listening, this results in him being punished.
We can also see the other kids standing away from Ivan, almost as if trying to seperate themselves and turning their backs to him. Perhaps out of the guilt that they cannot help him.
This all leads Ivan to the lesson he learns this day. Rebellion will get him punished, he will be hurt if he doesn’t listen. In fact, this is the only time we see him being punished in his youth, showing how Ivan was able to escape punishment and physical abuse by listening to what the aliens wanted of him.
Another detail to point out is the way the shadow falls over his face. We see him bruised and crying, most likely to previous physical abuse we did not see, implying that this isn’t the only time he’s been punished.
I believe the shadow falling over his face is supposed to represent the mask Ivan wears his entire life. After this scene we constantly see Ivan being “perfect” and up to the alien’s standards. The shadow represents the mask he put on and the lesson he learned, in order to survive he must obey.
However he continues to look at the stars, something that is correlated with freedom to Ivan. I believe this is supposed to represent Ivan’s inner desires of freedom. How, despite putting on the mask and valuing his life over desires, he still has the want for freedom. He doesn’t want to be chained and masked his entire life, the desire is never taken out of him, despite him losing his own person by putting on the mask, the desire to be free is never lost.
After this scene, we continue onto these four shots that happen right after the other. He stands in the same position in each scene and doesn’t move unless he must do something. I believe this isn’t literal but rather metaphorical, instead representing his mask. He stands there, dull, and adapting to whatever sitaution he’s in, sitting at the table if needed, holding a trophy when he must, singing with everyone else, this scene is supposed to show how he does not do anything other then what he must.
Its hard to read him because he stands there with the same look on his face, as if his face itself is the mask as it never changes. This would also go to show how well this mask is for Ivan, how good he is at masking himself. He does not express his inner thoughts, he does not do what he wants, he does not move however he desires, instead he only does what the aliens want, shown by his unmoving stance in all of scenes above, he does not make any unnecessary moves, standing in place instead.
It can also be noted that despite the location changing in each picture, Ivan still holds the same position no matter what. I believe this is supposed to represent how, again, he believes no matter what he cannot take off his mask. In the auction, after he’s been bought, after he’s in Anakt Garden, he has banned himself from taking off the mask, continuing to be the perfect person that is demanded of him in order to survive, even if he won’t be punished for simply living in Anakt Garden, seen by Mizi and Sua. This shows how deeply the scene of him hanging off the building has impacted him, it influenced his entire life.
Right after this, we see Ivan standing alone in Anakt Garden, he is standing in the same position as always and he is alone. Next the red flowers pass by his face and Till runs past him. Till continues to chase the flowers into the dark corridor and Ivan watches, before following Till into the corridor.
This scene can perfectly describe their relationship and dynamic. Ivan, as we can, is alone and standing still. As already stated, him standing still is symbolic of his mask. Him standing alone is also symbolic of how alone Ivan truly is. Because of his mask he is unable to make those connections, as there will always be a wall seperating him from that.
However the only to get close to Ivan is Till. He brushes past him and that’s when he suddenly moves. He only looks at him at first, standing from afar, before following him. This is most likely symbolic of how the only person that was able to get the mask off of Ivan was Till. We know this because it was stated before that he seems to become immature and childish around Till, showing how it’s only around Till that he is able to remove said mask. He moves from his position and follows Till, something he never had to do, but something he chose to do. A decision that was finally his. I also think Ivan first watching Till from afar, then following is supposed to mirror how, later, Ivan watches both Till and Mizi stand against the guard dog. How he just simply watches first.
We commonly see Till with red flowers. These red flowers are representative of Till’s love and admiration for Mizi. When we see Till brushing past Ivan and chasing the flowers, not even paying attention to Ivan, this represents how Till continues to follow and chase after Mizi, ignoring the others around him, even if they are right next to him.
Till following the flowers to the corridor, ignoring the darkness of the path, is symbolic of how far he is willing to go for Mizi. It’s similar to the scene of Till rejecting Ivan and running back to Anakt Garden, despite it being the darkest route he could go. He continues to follow Mizi no matter where she is, even if it’s dangerous. And while Till follows Mizi, Ivan will follow Till. He also follows Till down the hall, similar to how, despite not having to, he goes back to Anakt Garden.
Right after this scene, we cut to a room thats assumed to be where the hallway lead them to. We see Mizi and Till in front of what looks to be a massive guard dog like alien. Ivan stands far away, where he isn’t seen as he watches on. Mizi is scared, seen by how she holds herself and stands in shock and Till looks hurt. He’s sitting on the ground as if he was just struck and Ivan continues to watch on.
As Till stands up, we see flashes of falling stars suddenly appearing while Ivan continues to watch Till, and once he fully stands up we can see as Ivan’s pupils dilate.
We can see, in later offical art, that this alien might not be a guard dog but rather a pet or companion given to Ivan. While it isn’t clear, we commonly see pictures of Ivan getting close to the alien or even in its mouth. The relationship between Ivan and this alien is unclear, in fact the entire existence of this alien is unclear. Such as, why is the alien attacking or scaring both Mizi and Till? If it’s supposed to be something related to Ivan, why is it hurting other humans?
The existence of this alien dog cannot be disputed, because this is the moment Ivan fell in love with Till. But it is curious about the entire situation. So let me try and break it down.
I mentioned before that Ivan seems to have a relationship with the guard dog, but I don’t think it’s a literal relationship. The guard dog is most likely trying to keep the kids out of something, however it is unclear what. If thats the case, then it would be strange that Ivan is friendly with this guard dog. I think, instead, Ivan sees himself in this guard dog.
He sees Till fighting, or trying to at least, against the dog. Something that *does* happen between him and Till during this point. The two of them get into fights because Ivan instigates to grab Till’s attention to him. He sees Till being hostile with this alien, something he believes Till is with him. Not to mention, this alien must be alone often. It’s job is to guard something, meaning it must be kept seperate from other aliens and humans and it must keep it up. It’s job is to keep others away. Ivan can relate to this as to him, his job is surviving, which indirectly results in him being alone. I believe the art of Ivan with the alien is not to say he has a relationship with the alien, but because he sees himself in him.
I also think that this is also symbolic of their relationship. How Ivan is there watching and observing Till, just seeing him in general, however Till does not notice him. He doesn’t look back at where Ivan is, because he doesn’t know he’s there. Instead he’s focused on whats in front of him right now. An alien and Mizi, similar to him focusing on his hatred for aliens and his love for Mizi.
I believe after Ivan sees this with Till and falls in love with him, he recreates this scene in his mind. We can see this with the scene above where Ivan looks at whats happening, instead this time he looks different. Before he looked with a curious gaze and intrigue, not too worried or emotionally invested. However now he’s shown with a gripped hand on the wall, with the wall showing obvious signs of damage due to someone gripping it repeatedly. We also see the eyes of Ivan, how it’s focused and this looking much more crazed then last time.
While this could also be literal, showing Ivan might be leading Till here and watching him, replaying the scene in reality, but I believe this is more then likely a scene he replays in his head, for multiple reasons.
Till would stop believing what Ivan says after a while, in fact its most likely that it was Mizi who got him in that corridor. Perhaps he followed her in there and got in that situation. Unless it was about Mizi, its more then likely that Till wouldn’t have even listened to anything Ivan says. I think the change in looks, like the hand gripping the wall and his eyes are supposed to represent how much he repeats this scene in his mind.
And as always, for every Ivan analysis we must talk about this scene.
We see as Ivan takes Till out of his restrains, showing him out of Anakt Garden. The two of them are shown running away from the building, getting far away from Anakt Garden. Yet, Till stops. He lets go of Ivan’s hand and stops in his tracks, suddenly he is scared and realizing that by leaving, he is leaving Mizi. Ivan is hurt as he watches Till running back to Anakt Garden, and he smiles. His smile is full of hurt but he is still smiling. We cut back to the stage where we see Ivan, now he is taking off his mask and finally showing his true feelings, the memories are making him emotional. However he quickly put the mask back on and finishes his song.
This whole scene is very literal, but it’s still worth analysizing. This goes back to the idea Till would follow Mizi anywhere. Just as he follows the red flowers down a dark corridor, he follows Mizi in Anakt Garden. This is a very confliciting for Till to do, it’s not as easy as it seems for him. In that moment when he lets go of Ivan’s hands, thats when the realiziation of everything suddenly hits him. He realizes that by leaving Anakt Garden, he is leaving Mizi. He looks up at Ivan in fear and guilt as he turns around and leaves him, not looking back. This shows that Till is aware of the weight of the decision he made. He knows what he lost, you can see him debating and struggling with this as he stands away from Ivan.
In the scene above, we can see both Ivan and Till running away together, they are holding hands and laughing together. This shows that while Till did reject Ivan and being free with him, the problem was never being with Ivan, in fact it seems he was excited for it. But the problem was leaving Mizi.
Speaking of this, we can see as the two of them are leaving, it’s important to note what they are specifically doing. Till is watching the skys, rushing forward in order to reach freedom, while Ivan watches Till, he is not looking towards the skies but focusing on Till and his reaction, this shows their priorities.
Till would’ve loved to be free, if it was with Mizi and not Ivan. Ivan would’ve loved to be with Till, even if it meant to be enslaved.
We see this pan out as Till runs back to be with Mizi. He wanted freedom, just not with Ivan. This hurts Ivan, now fully knowing his love is unrequited and as he watches Till leave him, he continues back. He is fully aware at this point that he is not loved back, and most likely will never be. But that isn’t what matters to Ivan, what matters to him is Till. He would be willing to be enslaved if it meant to be with him.
#alien stage#alnst#ivan alien stage#alnst ivan#ivan alnst#alien stage ivan#till alien stage#alnst till#till alnst#alien stage till#THEY RBING ME MISERY OMG#LIKE AHHHHHHH#AHHHHHHHHHHH#also thank you for the ask!!!!#ivantill
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1,000 KUDOS!! YEA U DESERVE THAT YEEEEEEAAAAA
AAAAAHHHHHHHH :DDDDD
I mean 1000???
1000 people, real life people, read and liked my little fic??
i still dont get it??? but its so cool!!!!!!
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FEAR STREET REUNION. FEAR STREET REUNION.
#like AHHHHHHH#im SOOOO excited for season 2 lets fucking go!!!!!#fear street#one piece#emily rudd#julia rehwald#cindy berman#kate schmidt#jaiden rants
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That was the most romantic shit I've ever experienced🫣🥹🥹
#i feel like im floating#like AHHHHHHH#someone pinch me#im in awe dood omg#i love my bf so much wtf#personal
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Omg, I was just able to get tickets to hear mitskis new album early and then a movie of her choice afterward!!!
Like sholy shit
MITSKI!!!
HSUSUXHD
#i know it probly a warning sign i listen to her enough to get the opportunity but like#this is Really Cool#like ahhhhhhh#shes not gonna be there#but she will be in my heart#and my tears
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Fun South Park fact!
In the 2020 South Park Character Bro-Down, (where they asked the fans to vote on their favorite characters), Tweek lost in the 3rd round.
He lost to Towlie!!! (/neg)
There is no justice in the world
Here is the link to a site with all the info if you want to get mad about how your favorite character lost too:
#south park#tweek tweak#towlie#he is so bad#like ahhhhhhh#I want him to leave#but ‘weed funny’#I live in Portland I am over the weed reference s#this is almost interesting#except Randy won in 2015 and I think that’s why they started overusing him#and then Flanderized him :(#(but hot take Randy was never that great)#In 2015 he lost to Kenny which is fair#no way in hell he was going to beat Kenny#and though I prefer Tweek I like Kenny a lot too
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What a familiar feeling...
I think he's starting to enjoy life on the surface
Perhaps he's not irreparable, he could even try to make new friends
#AHHHHHHH#AHHHH#have I told u all how much I LOVE their friendship#like#omg#augh#AAAUGHHHHHH#undertale#sunsest-art#papyrus#art#undertale fanart#flowey
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that feeling when you compliment your friends outfit and they say “i thought you would !!!! it reminded me of you & ur vibes” AHHDJHSJHDJDJDJDHJDHDJDHDHSHSHSB IDISOSUHFISHWIQISUDJWHIEHDUSHS
#LIKE AHHHHHHH#I LOVE YOU ????#SO SO MUCH#AND IT MAKES ME SO SO HAPPY#BC THAT MEANS THAT I MEAN ENOUGH TO YOU THAT WHILE U WERE GETTING DRESSED AND OUT TOGETHER A COOL FIT U THOUGHT OF Me#RAHHHHHHHHH#clothes#outfits#friendship#relatable
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If I see someone show a clip of galadriel in a video essay on terribly written female characters one more time I will scream
Clearly no youtuber who does has actually seen rings of power or really cared to look at her character she is leagues better than marvels crap female writing or any of the other examples they show
#LIKE AHHHHHHH#it makes me so mad#her writing as a believable female character was what drove me to actually love the show!#just cause shes a badass doesnt make her a terribly written character#like can women not be badasses is that the expectation now???#like yes they should be a character beyond beijg a badass#BUT GALADRIEL IS#SHES SO INTERESTING AS A CHARACTER#SHE HAS A ARC#SHE TRUST PEOPLE WANTING TO SEE THE BEST IN THEM#SHE CARES FOR HER PEOPLE WANTING TO HELP SAVE THE WORLD THE BEST SHE CAN#THERES JUST SO MUCH#AND UHHHHHHH IT MAKES ME SO MAD TO SEE YOUTUBERS TRASH HER LIKE THAT#any video essay that even does that i turn off and never waych the channel again cause i get so pissed#like if you're going to be so careless in your editing why should i trust anything you say#enj's rants#haven't used that tag in a while#rants
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anyways the dead dove brain of mine does want a fic where janice succeeds and keeps kirk as her planet wife against will
#srry#janicejames#idk their ship name#anyways i think its hot#myposts#like in a fucked way because like janice hates kirk and loves him im obsessed#her saying shed have preferred if they killed e/o#like ahhhhhhh#she feels very trans in hating her womanhood but also with sexism and all it could just be hating where womanhood took her#just obsessed that starfleet would allow woman to enter the course but not be the captain#her goal almost in reach but never quite#tbh the ending of the pe is pretty much dead dove free my girl#she already said shed rather die than be a woman T-T
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Do y'all ever think about how cool it is that art inspires other art inspires other art inspires other art in an endless cycle
#like someone else's creation inspired the thing that inspired me#and my art can inspire someone else's art who might inspire someone else's#like original work to fanfic to fanart yes#but also like character to character or story to story#or even just when you and a friend talk about stuff and they inspire you and you inspire them in turn#and ahhhhhhh#human creativity is getting me again
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Do You Love The Color Of The 413?
#HOMESTUCK#413#HOMESTUCK 413#john egbert#dave strider#rose lalonde#jade harley#vriska#kanaya#terezi#karkat#HAPPY 413 YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!#THIS TOOK ME 4 DAYS PLEASE LOVE IT#AHHHHHHH IVE NEVER MADE ANYTHING THIS BIG BEFORE#IT'S NOT AS FINISHED AS ID LIKE- LIKE I USED A LOT OF JUST MULTIPLICITY LAYERS FOR SHADING BUT#I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME LMAO#ALSO IM PRETTY SURE TUMBLR WILL EAT THE QUALITY SO PLEASE CLICK TO ZOOM LOL#ART#MY ART#heavens. i dont know if i should tag all the characters?#ill only tag the bigger characters i guess#since so many are in there#it's supposed to be transparent and not black#but apparently tumblr will turn transparency white if the photo is too large#fucking great
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it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)
i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.
i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.
i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.
in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.
i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.
i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.
my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.
i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.
i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.
it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.
almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.
i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.
i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.
write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.
#spilled ink#writeblr#pos#recovery#my brain is like - don't trust it!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! we can't be wrong again!!!!!!#and im like. what if the sorrow is the thing that's wrong though.#what if this - this!!!!! - is the truth
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see?
everything’s fine.
(greyscale + extras below!!)
so! this was SUPPOSED to be a bonnie drawing. but for some reason i just Can’t draw bonnie to save my life today. and i needed to draw something simple to make myself less frustrated!! and by simple i mean this took me almost 3 hours and i had to redraw it because i didn’t like how the lineart turned out the first time!! oops!! at least it turned out cute🩶. and i got to play around with my textured brush!
also as a bonus, my terrible first attempt + the sketch!! that i apparently accidentally deleted at some point? so this is a screenshot from the timelapse. i dont know what happened to it…
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#ahhhhhhh ik people might say that the first attempt wasn’t that bad but hhhh i Don’t Like That Thang!!!#i tried to force myself back into my old art process and it felt Awkward and Weird#i’m glad i decided to start over!!!#<- also this is like. lighthearted. idk if i need to clarify but just in cass#anyways! ough i had a lot of fun redrawing the bg here#especially the lights(?)#really fun and easy to draw!!! i like em. they’re Soothing
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