#im SOOOO excited for season 2 lets fucking go!!!!!

[emilyskinners]

FEAR STREET REUNION. FEAR STREET REUNION.

[monophobix]

INITIAL THOUGHTS ON ARCANE SEASON 2 ACT 1 (EPISODES 1-3)

(i’m not good at putting my thoughts into words so feel free to give your own opinions, i rlly wanna hear them)

SPOILERS AHEAD///

ok so my biggest critique is the pacing. everything is very quick very fast and a lot is going on. i understand that this is immediately after a large event which of course caused a reaction however it was just very intense and a lot to keep up with especially considering the amount of new and confusing things introduced throughout the three episodes with minimal slow down. it was alittle difficult to keep up. the timeline of the show is confusing and i have no idea how long it has been between scenes. viktor was barely in that weird healing chamber for a few scenes before he was emerging as someone new. caitlyn and vi were going from loving to fighting to understanding to fighting again very quickly with little time to develop independently, their kiss and divorce weren’t even 30 minutes apart from each other. also, who the fuck is this kid hanging around with jinx?? why is she following her, why doesn’t she talk, what’s her name, how long has she been with her?? this lack of time to let things develop has caused these episodes to feel rushed.

with this introduction of many new things some have left me with a lot of questions. my biggest issue revolves around the arcane. i literally do not recall it being mentioned or being an important topic in s1 but all of a sudden jayce knows a fuck ton about it as well as heimerdinger? when did he learn this? i assume it’s from viktors notes and research but that still fails to cover the amount of knowledge jayce now possesses.

HOWEVER THE ARCANE IS VERY COOL AND IM VERY VERY INVESTED. i absolutely love the changes to viktor, his weird apathy and changes are definitely rushed but so interesting to see, his design and behaviour are so very compelling and im very excited to see the development. additionally, this group dynamic between jayce, ekko and heimerdinger is soooooo fun. it offers a break from the intensity with some silliness i think is desperately needed, plus it’s super satisfying to see the trio bounce off each other. that final scene of them in ep3 was visually incredible and i loved seeing the effects upon the hextech weapons during the jinx, sevika vs vi, caitlyn fight. the scene of viktor amongst the shimmer infected was very interesting and it was so cool to truly see the severe effects of shimmer and the inhumanity of viktor is making a clear route towards his glorious evolution which is am keen to watch.

that ambessa reveal at the end was INCREDIBLE. i genuinely didn’t see it coming and it made my jaw DROP. the quiet, smart suspicion from mel is always incredible to see, her political mind and morals conflicting is so very engaging and she’s really developing into herself in these episodes which was a joy to witness. the mystery of her brother is compelling and links well through s1 and s2 to make the storyline fun to follow. i also simply must compliment the designs revolving around the noxians and animal-esque (sorry idk what they’re called) people. the absolute variety and inspiration from real life cultures is beautiful to see. i am incredibly confused about the magic and that one lady (amara?) but i assume that’ll be answered in later episodes.

jinx is not looking good lmao. i love her design being so corpse-like and deathly, it really fits well and really embraces the differences between powder and jinx. but i do wish we saw more of her. i see her actions but i lack understanding for some of them, primarily revolving around the child (isha?) and why the kids even there but the newfound bond between sevika and jinx is refreshing to see. the scene of them in silcos old office brought a smile to my face and the design of that fucking arm is soooo cool i love the clownish purely jinx vibe to it.

caitlyn is probably the stand out character so far (plus maybe viktor). her absolute grief and seeing her facade break down throughout the episodes was heartbreaking, the tentative yet conflicting moments of softness with vi were beautiful yet had that perfect undercurrent of tragedy that arcane masters so well. her rage and break up with vi was easy to see coming yet so incredibly jarring to watch, that harsh and merciless behaviour is so different from s1, the development is well done and a morbid pleasure to see. and that final episode. oh my. the shock to acceptance of darkness was fantastic, ambessa truly is a master at manipulating weakness in even the strongest of people and seeing this duo is going to be so soul crushing that i’m itching for more.

vi felt very rushed to me and alittle dry? idk why tho i can’t really explain it. i understand her choices but it felt like something was missing until that final scene with cait. that was an absolute masterpiece. seeing her realising that the horrors of war is corrupting everyone around her and pleading for it to please not happen is so so SO fucking sad and my heart was breaking. i loved seeing her moral strength and solidity to her values which has always been a key part of her character so i appreciate the consistency. idk why something about her was just… different.

the opening scene was incredible. the absolute horror of it was so clear and i was literally shaking the entire time. 10/10 opening.

overall, i hope things slow down alittle but i greatly enjoyed season 2 and im very excited to see the characters develop and to see even more of this beautiful world.

[thecoolerliauditore]

big post now that the adrenaline is cooled down a bit. thoughts on each team so far.

overall: ohh I really didn't think I would be enraptured again I really didn't think I would be. Like don't get me wrong I'm not one for wanting the series to end or anything but I was very, very happy about the year long break after Secret Life because it was feeling like quite a lot of content to the point where it was overwhelming.

That break was crucial, I think, to the vibes since I don't know if it's just me but the players just feel like they have so much more energy and excitement for the new season. Etho and Mumbo especially are so quirky this session.

The new mechanic is. shrugs. Really no way to judge it yet seeing as we've pretty much barely seen what it can entail. The fact that everyone has six lives though is making me think some of them are gonna be crazy in future sessions cus that's a ridiculously generous number otherwise and I assume Grian doesn't intend for this season to be twice Third Life's length.

EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! EIGHTEEN PLAYERS! Lizzie, Mumbo, Rendog, Gem 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 I don't have much to add I'm just so happy we're finally getting a season with All of Them. Rendog Ren Ren Diggity Dawg I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

The lag on the server looks um ..... ? Aternos lookin ass. I hope it doesnt impact them too much beyond this episode and they get that fixed cus whoagh that is um bad. Joel being soooo fucking angry about it is so funny please never change Joel.

~

Renwood Mound: First of all horrid name but I would be disappointed by anything less sexually suggestive. Second of all please check up on your Treebark mutuals this is a difficult time. Refeeding syndrome might just kill a couple of you I'm so sorry.

I'm not a big Ren/Martyn understander but my dash has been more celebrating their reunion than crying tears of anguish like the other toxic rebounds (ethubs, tango, pearl) that have popped up so I can only assume it's going to be okay we're all gonna make it.

If they do stay as a duo this season is going to be crazy for Martyn specifically I think. He's already gotten the betrayal he wants, he's already achieved the villainous role he so wants to play, and now it's just him and Ren together with no Dogwarts to lead. I genuinely have no idea where this one will go. o7

~

BAM Boys: I really hope the "boys" part stays in the name despite Lizzie joining them at the end for my very specific Lizzie headcanons. It would tickle me.

Anyway we're finally freed from the grasps of blue man and get the Scar/Jimmy team up this time with added Lizzie flavour. I'm very excited and like. I've seen a lot of people doubting this team will go far which confuses me because I don't know if you guys are aware but Scar won last season. And Lizzie, despite her early death in SL, really is no pushover either (she had one of the highest body counts in LL and I wish more people talked about that).

Scar specifically is in a great spot with pretty much full diamond armour already. He gets all giddy while mining and says to himself something like "ooh I get to share some with Jimmy!" which is so sweet to me.

Scar remaking the reputation board from Third Life is actually insane. What is he doing.

All this to say I think this team looks wholesome and I'm optimistic for their future. This could be Jimmy's Mounders. Or it could be Fairy Fort 2 idk let's see.

~

I think Bigb's possessed again.

~

The Hobbits(???): Hilarious to me that they stole Flower Husbands' original branding. Anyway Grumbo is back idk if I know them well enough to make a statement but I'm mentally chucking them into the toxic rebound box in my head just to get the number up.

This is the POV I've seen the least of but they seem fun. I wonder if being out of the horrific environment that was the Southlanders will do any good for Grumbo's relationship. Skizz being there also tends to bring the mood up 400% (unless it's Dogwarts).

~

Joel & Gem: IM SO EXCITED. This is pretty much the Bdubs/Joel team-up I wanted originally but now we get Ethubs too which is even more awesome for me. Very cringe take from me but they are both shounen anime.

Despite what Scott says I really don't think they'll "spontaneously combust". They're both high energy and aggressive but historically loyal to the people who accept them, the sample rate for Gem is not exactly scientifically viable but. Vaguely gestures to all of Secret Life.

I kind of wanna see Gem kill Pearl.

~

Whatever the fuck the Ethubs + Tango team is called: Why.

No like seriously Tango I thought you hated these bitches why are you third wheeling them. He's also surprisingly Bdubspilled like he sides with him on the horse thing and tries to warn Bdubs about Etho lying later. Like, don't get me wrong I really don't think Tango has spite for Bdubs comparable to like. Pearl for Scott for example but he certainly isn't fond of him after he um Fucking Murdered Him and was completely unapologetic.

I'm not really a Tango guy so I can't speak on what's going on inside his head regarding that it's just. Interesting to observe. At least the brief ranchers interaction was cute (and really funny to see in the background of ethubs yelling at eachother).

Anyway Ethubs are insane. It's so funny to me that their horse argument literally lasted an entire in game day.

It's fun for me specifically because I always viewed Secret Life as somewhat of a soft end/reboot point for the series for multiple reasons - the year long hiatus, scars win bookending things really well, pearl and scotts arcs wrapping up (oh how naive) and, of course, the conclusion ethubs reached.

I think I've made a post before about how beautiful of an ending SL is for Ethubs. The distance allowing them to overcome their own personal issues with Bdubs learning he's capable and to care for people who aren't himself or Etho and Etho learning relationships don't have to be minefields, leading into HC10 where Bdubs moves into the rural countryside away from everything and Etho hanging out with his new coworkers at the post office. They can still talk and visit, of course, but the time away from eachother does them wonders and adds a bit of hope for how they will be in the future.

So how should I even fucking feel about Etho pulling a Limited Life and almost killing Bdubs for a prank. Or Etho asking Bdubs what he's done for him. Or Etho in general being a little shit about the horse thing and Bdubs being equally stubborn.

Bdubs even kinda?? Talks like they're a couple who've gone to therapy with the "I should express how I feel and how I feel is.." and the way he catches himself when he's halfway through yelling. Like I'm not insane you guys hear it too right.

Like don't get me wrong I'm very stuck in my ways of insisting Ethubs isn't really toxic, at least not anymore, but I can totally see someone else being horrified by them and I would cheer them on for it. This episode is especially going to be horrible for that person. At least for me it seems like Bdubs' character development is very real i.e. him rejecting Etho's chestplate with the classic "I can take care of myself", a stark contrast to LL/DL Bdubs and he bites back when Etho is weird.

I have hope for Ethubs is what I'm trying to say and it's totallyyyy not because they're my first ship and I'm biased. I need to figure out what's wrong with Etho and why he's doing this. I saw a post that theorized Etho wanted Bdubs to get mad at him and kill him this season which I'm rotating a bit but I'll have to keep watching. Ethubs girls we're in for it we really are. Tango girls I'm um sorry.

~

PICS / the Islanders: My 13th reason why.

Trying to not repeat too much here from whatever happened to me emotionally last night but this is what hell looks like. It's what I expected but like. DAMN. I wasn't expecting it to be. That bad.

Seeing a lot of people say that the team is just. Pearl, The Horrors and Impulse who is just 🧍‍♂️and I don't think that's completely wrong or anything however ☝️I must say that Impulse continues to frighten me and him being here is making me personally shake like a chihuahua. Like I can't really explain his character if you put a gun to my head I just think the guy might have some issues communicating emotions and prefers to hold grudges/be passive aggressive like with the psychological horror that was the impdubs DL POV and I can't imagine him being particularly Good for Pearl. Also he's done several insane things in the past e.g. the Bdubs grudge, laughing at Tango when he tries to kill himself in SL, being excited(??) for gem to kill him in SL, trying to kill Skizz in SL wow wait maybe it's just proximity to gem and scott that fucks this guy up. Idk though I don't trust his ass.

Anyway. Yes like we are all Martyn Inthelittlewooding it up for Pearl in here. I have so many somewhat misogynistic fantasies in my head about her being saved by Gem or Bdubs or Joel or Bigb for that matter. Emotionally that's what I would want. HOWEVER I don't think that would actually be anything that would help Pearl in fact I think she'd just run back to her team because she's loyal like that. So now I kind of just want to see the consequences of her actions. Whittle her down to nothing 💥💥💥💥💥It would break me it genuinely would.

Cleo fucking catching herself and correcting "trauma" to "damage" mid sentence is insane can we kill. can we kill them.

So yeah um I'm excited for this season

[localfanbaselurker]

First time watching Voltron: Legendary Defender and documenting my thoughts

This is Season 4

S1-2 | S3 | S5 | S6 | S7 | S8 |

———————————————————————

<this one is going to be shorter, as I have only recently finished this season, and the grief is still fresh (lol), so the thoughts are only just starting to simmer. strap your asses in>

Pre-Season 4 Thoughts

-> Keith joining the blades is going to be a huge plot device, I feel

-> PLEASE for the love of CHRIST let that poor little girl find her brother and father. If they are dead dreamworks better be ready to catch these hands

->I’ve heard people claim this is the “last good season”, but i stay strong 💪 and will watch till the end

->wouldn’t the paladin switch not make sense now? Cus shiro is back as the black paladin and it makes no sense for Lance to be red like it originally had? If anything, he should’ve gone back to blue, and Allura to red, because Allura is very accepting/encouraging of shiro’s role as leader. I guess they didn’t wanna do it all over again. But I digress 🤷‍♀️

->im gonna miss my Pookie (🤍❤️🤍)

Post-S4

->do they do this every two seasons?? Have an epic battle where they have a big preparation and say it’ll 100% end the war but it doesn’t and something crazy happens after they win and it sets up the next season??

->FUCK YEAH PIDGE GOT HER BROTHER BACK IM SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP 💪💪🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏🙏🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

->^genuinely cried so hard during this scene. would’ve cried more if I wasn’t recovering from the initial shock.

->^cried during this one too, but it was happy tears. I could actually just do a whole reaction post to this episode alone. (if you want me to js say so in the rbs/replies)

->the callback to s1! “color-coded of course, because what are we? animals?” AHHH! I’m going insane I love these siblings sooooo much

->okay I’ll stop gushing over them now

->^only valid reaction to meeting Allura. Homegirl is beauty incarnate

->I LIED. im not sorry im never shutting up about them. SHE SHOWS HIM AROUND THE CASTLE AND TELLS HIM EVERYTHING AND EVERY DETAIL AND SHES SO EXCITED CUS SHE JUST GOT HER BRO BACK AND IS JUST RAMBLING ABOUT HER NEW HOME AND ALL THE COOL STUFF SHES BEEN DOING AND HES JUST LISTENING AND IS SUPER EXCITED WITH HER AND ITS SOOOO AMAZING AND ADORABLE AND I COULD DIE

->AND THEN HE TELLS HER HOW THEIR DAD WOULD BE SO PROUD IM DYING IM LITERALLY DEAD STOP.

->AND AND AND THEY WERE ALL WORKING TOGETHER W HUNK TO MAKE THE GALRA TRACKER THING AND THEY WERE BEING SO COOL WITH EACH OTHER AND BEING NERDS TOGETHER AND AND AND AJEUWNDUWJEBEURBDGWUDKAODHD

->okay. ive calmed down. i am normal and can be trusted to simply watch a show.

->^Get his ass, Zarkon. I needed his smug ass to be humbled so bad. Only time I will agree w Zarkon fr.

->i do NOT like Lotor. Can you guys tell already??

->THE SCENE WHERE THEY TRIED TO GET MILKSHAKES AND WERE SHOCKED TO FIND OUT THAT YOU NEED TO MILK A COW STOP.✋ 😭. My high-score on the giggle-meter went up by 300%

->bro I SWEAR shiro looks different. there’s just something about him. the hair gets a pass cus how good of a haircut can you give yourself in space, yk? but that nose scar is definitely a different shade #notmyrodrickshiro

->THE VOLTRON SHOW.

->^Just. That entire episode. It’s getting a whole post actually I need to yap about it.

->^her armor is colored in a way which makes it look both pink and red while making it look like a trick of the light in a way to symbolize that she is acting as keith yet while being a paladin herself and that being unknown in the public eye and showing how they have to cover that up, any suspicion being thrown as a trick of the light. Oh vld animators ily 🫶

->on another note tho why do they always draw lance and shiro to have 30 pounds of ass. what.

->loved when those lesbians decided to take down lotor. Queen shit 💋 we stan 🙇‍♀️🙏

->Lotor is so stupid and pathetic and annoyingly smug and sus and admiral-zhao-y and I hate him but he’s SOOO FREAKING HOT and I can’t hate him completely because he’s so attractive but that just makes me wanna hate him more. He’s a walking red flag but the flag is heart-shaped and honestly idk what to do w that.

->^WHAT. stop. honestly that’s the real reason he was banned from the empire my ass would not want that fucking FREAK within a 30 light year radius of me either

-> while s3 was the klance season, s4 is apparently the allurance season, they have a lot of sweet moments. (granted all started by lance but still, you can almost see allura swooning)

->^pookie. what are you doing… pookie.. no. stop. i don’t like where this is going…

->^POOKIE NO. STOP. ✋ STOP. SAY SIKE RN.

->^oh thank fuck for Lotor.

->^^wait what. why Lotor.

->^^^heartbreaking: worst person you know doesn’t something good for once.

->he definitely wants something out of this. I don’t trust him.

These are thoughts I’ve had compiled for some time now. I will continue to post my thoughts on the tag “laura’s first vld”

I finished this season on 06/30/24. I am on S5E3 as of today (07/06/24)

[demiesworld]

my current obsessions (warning: very long)

okay so first of all, to all of my followers (if even have any wheezes) i am soooo sorry for not being active. just things have been going south and further south for me. buuuuuut i've also been like hyperfixated on newer animes and on one manhwa (sadly it's killing stalking).

ANYWAYS.... MY CURRENT OBSESSION RN IS FUCKING DEMON SLAYER. i started watching it back in like march or february and i've been simping and focused on this anime ever since. i fucking love it omfg. my favorite characters changes a lot depending on my mood, but i am big on TENGEN (mr. flashy), RENGOKU (donut), AKAZA (donut maker), DOUMA (he puts the G in lGbt), HAGANEZUKA, and lastly... i know yall saw that new episode of season 3 w/ hantengus's fucking clones. tbh i didnt even know he could do that BUT ALL FOUR (i know there's five of them but rn it's four) OF THEM CAN GET IT. IM SORRY.

LIKE DID YALL NOT SEE THE MELANIN IN THOSE MEN?!?! THE MELANIN, THE HAIR, THE ABS, OMG. it makes me soooo excited to see darker skinned ppl in anime shows bc you know they dont hardly get drawn. and even if they are depicted as villains/demons/antagonists representation is representation. A WIN IS A WIN.

so speaking of those four i am heavy, heavy, heavy falling for my boy karaku. i mean yeah sekido can put in that work, aizetsu whimpers like a bish, and urogi is hot and all, but KARAKU?!?! UNGGGGHH. i hear sum puRRRINGGGG~~~

im thinking of writing of maybe a smut, or something platonic and basic with those four in mind. maybe just headcanons though.

another anime im fixated on even though i aint even watched not one damn episode but i feel like i know what going on in it thanks to tiktok spoilers on my FYP is BLUE LOCK. let me explain.

so out of nowhere i get this edit of rin itoshi on my fyp of him w/ the song "trance" by metro boomin and i was like damn he cute af. lemme see what anime this is. and i found out it was blue lock. so i was like ehhh sports anime dont really attract my attention like that so imma pass-

BUT THEN. A MONTH LATER. I SEE THIS FINE ASS GYARUO-LOOKING ZESTY ABOMINATION OF A MAN NAMED SHIDOU RYUSEI ON MY FYP IN AN EDIT AND I WAS LIKE WHO IS HEEEE?!! like not only is his eye color my favorite color, but he has the MELANIN. and ugh he's voiced by gojo (who i simp for too btw) VA.

and then after doing some investigating i find out some important things about this mofo. 1. he almost tried to kill kunigami, 2. he almost tried to kill rin, 3. he has some sort of love, admiration for sae (rins big bro), 4. AW YEAH HERE COMES THE DOPAMINE~, 5. it's canon that this man is so devious he had to get tied up with a muzzle bc he was too much for the blue lock ppl to handle (honestly tying him up w/ a muzzle sounds racist my boi), 6. he is ZESTY.

i just might end up writing some imagines, headcanons, etc. with shidou bc god i love me a toxic man.

LASTLY TO WRAP THIS SHIT UP I AM FIXATED ON MHA. but im not joining the fandom, im just fixated on the following characters: dabi, and aizawa. i love me a man with daddy issues and a man who can be my daddy. i feel like at this point i dont even need to read the manga or watch the anime to know what is going on and who's who thanks to tiktok spoiling every thing for me.

[butcharyastark]

started black sails, mostly through s1. thoughts so far:

i LOVEEE characters who are definitely morally terrible and you know it and they know it and the narrative knows it but theyre fascinating to watch. im talking abt flint. that man sucks so bad but i love watching his scenes and dynamics.

that ^ would apply to miss guthrie (i forgot her first name) too but i hate her too much for that. consistently wish she was off my screen xoxo

oh my god im so glad the fucking beach camp plot with max is overrrrr. i already zoomed on her as a fave and ik from others she has great plots or characterization or themes later and im v excited for that and im very glad this bs is over

BILLYYYYYY NOOO what the fuck is going on he cant be dead yet can he??? also maybe im misreading but both billy and morley (?i think. i dont have everyones names yet lol) both dying technically offscreen in accidents while isolated with flint after its known they have reservations abt his leadership.... flint did you fucking do this....

honestly i dont give a shit abt mrs barlow or whatev i forgot her name but unexpectedly the priest seduction sideplot is kinda fun and hot. idk why.

i did not expect this to be a sorta game of thrones spartacus vikings etc type tv show but i am kinda vibing actually surprisingly.

I LOVE WHEN SHOWS LET THEIR CHARACTERS AND ACTORS HAVE ACCENTS.

i like that one dude (??? guy with weird sideburns) and anne bonny's whole Thing but i'd like both of them a helluva lot more if 1) he had had ANY reservations or morals abt the whole max situation and 2) if anne bonny had not immediately spurned max after getting her freedom bc hi what the fuck shes been thru enough what is ur fucking damage??? i thought u cared ???

i thought silver would have way more of role so far tbh i thought he'd be like the ProtagTM but so far hes kinda not passing the sexy lamp test. boyfailure? legend? idk but its funny and surprising

i want vain or vane or whatever the fuck his name is to die in a fire. unfortunately hes also kinda interesting onscreen. but i hope he dies brutally later heart emoji

wanna know where the mr. scott plot is gonna go... i thought his convo w the kidnapped woman in the ship hold was v interesting and ik from other ppl this show somewhat goes into discussion of the transatlantic slave trade (some handled badly and some well afaik?) and im curious if shes gonna be a recurring character now or if hes gonna be a pirate bc i assume he cant go back to nassau so like whats going on now??

veryyyy curious abt how this show is gonna end its seasons and do season finales.... i hope theres drama. may update this post w my thoughts after i finish s1 in fact

uhhh OH THE OST FUCKS SEVERELY and the intro (maybe just s1 intro idk if theyre gonna change it) is soooo fuckin cool.

salute emoji

[roseworth]

Finding out you watched tangled the series sent me into a reblog spree from your tangled tag because I recently finished it for the first time. so now I'm curious give me all of your fix it thoughts on the bad writing

hello im so sorry for ignoring this for so long but i forgor </3 but i love tangled the series so much it just makes me want to rip my skin off because of how much it sucks

the thing is. there is so much potential. if it was just a bad show i wouldnt care but the problem is it could have been such a good show <////3 i love every character and the plot lines were ALMOST there every time and it could have been so good i could fix this fucking show hhghghjghhjghgmhgjhjg

like right off the bat theres all the shit with the proposals that i LOVE. i love eugene and rapunzel both trying to propose to each other like 5 times but neither of them could ever get the timing right <333 but the problem comes in with. literally everything surrounding it. the idea that the marriage would trap them pisses me off bc at first i assumed it would be like. they eventually realize that marriage isnt a trap and its not the end of their lives. but thats not what happened. instead it was like "yeah the marriage is us accepting that our adventures are over and we're settling down" ?????????????? and everything chris said always makes me think like. can someone please check on his wife oh my god

THEN we've got varian. literally such a great character, his villain arc is the best arc of the whole show !!! but!! then it was over. honestly i think that varian was one of the characters that made it out relatively unscathed with no stupid choices for his character. but even then thats mostly because he just kinda got ignored after season 1. he didnt show up at all in season 2 except in a hallucination, and im not THAT mad about it bc obv they werent in corona so its not like there was really any place for him but like. please. anyways he got a quick redemption arc in season 3 but the worst part of that was that it was a little rushed so he made it out ok. but the problem comes in with the fact that chris got pissed off that everyone wanted to talk about varian so he refused to give varian anything interesting to do overall. but the problem is that there were already seeds planted earlier in the show to give him more to do (like everything with quirin and the letter) that got dropped bc they didnt want to deal with it

and CASS. oh my god. ive talked about her villain arc a hundred times because it makes me so fucking insane. it could have been so good. like you can go back to pretty much the first episode in season 1 and see cracks starting to form in her & rapunzel's friendship and there was soooo much to work with. but. "gothic was my mom but she kidnapped and abused you instead so you stole my destiny" what the fuck are you talking about. talk about being overshadowed! talk about being forgotten and never taken seriously!! talk about ANYTHING that youve already been upset about in the show!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!

and then fucking. the dark kingdom stuff at the end of season 2 with eugene:( :( :( i was a little excited for the dark prince stuff bc ! it could be fun!!! he found out that hes the prince of a dead kingdom and his mother died because of the stone thats the opposite of rapunzel! there was sooooo much there that just got forgotten :( we never even found out how the queen died or her fucking NAME. why did we abandon all the dark kingdom lore at the end of season 2 :(((( i love the dark kingdom its such a fun concept and i want more of it but like. go girl give us nothing ig. the kingdom got completely abandoned and forgotten about within 25 years! lets talk about that!!!!! fuck lets acknowledge ANYTHING about dark prince eugene !!!! and on that note i wish they had done a little more with the fact that edmund had been protecting the moonstone for his entire life just for someone to take it and leave and now his life's purpose means NOTHING.

also it pisses me off that season 3 became The Cass and Rapunzel Show. there were so many other characters with problems but everything else was ignored bc look! cass and rapunzel!!! like can we PLEASE focus on anything else for like 5 seconds.... why was the finale entirely just cass and rapunzel's fight :( everyone was dead on the ground and it was "and now cass and rapunzel are gonna spend 3 seconds handling it" like please..... you have a beautiful cast of characters that want to affect the plot so badly let them help

as a rapunzel fan i think that one thing that annoys me a lot about the show is that. rapunzel can never be wrong. i get that shes a disney princess and its a disney show so they cant make her TOO bad but like,,, all her weaknesses are the shit you say in a job interview. "shes too nice" "shes too upbeat" "she trusts people to much" i wish she had actual problems. like she tends to accidentally be selfish and focus on how she feels without thinking about how it affects other people!!! thats something they could have thought about more instead of making her always right about everything. and the fucking episode on season 3 where eugene says "cass abandoned you you need to let her go" then she goes back in time and changes his past and then hes like "yeah you shouldnt leave cass behind!" NO HE WAS RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. cass literally took the moonstone and left she doesnt want to come back why is the lesson here that rapunzel shouldnt let her go

and oh my god. lance im so sorry for what they did to you. he is SUCH a fun character i love him so much he should have had so much to do but NO he gets one lance-centric episode and a few lance-and-eugene-centric episodes in season 1. then he never gets focus ever again. he gets the moment in the season 2 finale where he starts fighting the ghosts (and i love him so much i love that moment) and then he never affects the plot again. hes so fun because he and eugene have basically the same backstory except lance never had The Moment where he chose to give it up so its so fun to see his approach to just. everything in the show. but we never get to see him!! he gets ignored and shoved to the side so that there can be more hookfoot centric episodes. i will forever stand by the fact that theres something about hookfoot could've been a lance episode. ALSO ALSO ALSO the episode that was pitched with the broken window at the orphanage :( :( :( :( :( i mourn it every single day i wish it had happened. he doesnt get taken seriously as a character even though they had sooooo many opportunities to! then i literally love that he adopts kiera and catalina at the end but. it doesnt get any focus. we dont get to see him getting closer to them (okay we get a little bit of it but STILL there should've been more) so it feels so unearned. i love their little family so much but give me MORE. NOW.

okay im gonna stop now but i have so many thoughts about this show i could fucking fix it. there is so much potential and i love every character so much and i love the version of the plot lines that only exist in my head

[nardonotes]

11 oct '24

10:15pm

HOUUUUGGGHHHHHHWWEEEEW WWAAAAGHHHH I AM SO OVERWORKED!!!! FOR NO FUCKING MONEY!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SLAVERY!!!!!!!!!!! ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

i didn't get to write an entry because i was so goddamn busy the past few days. let's RECAP! : ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡

wednesday: i had so much work to do and ended up just knocking tf out,, like i don't even remember what i did then?? what did i even do... just college work and so much soooo much catching up to do.

thursday: after college,, i went to park with my sister, her bf, and her two friends (one with a baby and one's bday was coming up) so we celebrated a little bit there,, but it was cold as fuck so we were in my sisters bf's car eating snacks and talking! it was fun but i was really really tired.. and then we watched episode 2 of dandadan ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و,, it was so good man fr!! i need to catch up on the manga. but after that man i was too fucking tired to do shit. which is weird because i been so restless?? (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) ‧º

FRIDAY!!! TODAY!!!!!!: i had my first day of my new placement,, long story short,,, the printing business got back to me and i am now doing my work experience there instead of my mum's place BUT I AM still going to make their website because i feel bad also,,, they're very nice and it's good for my portfolio. anyways,, i was on my feet ALL DAY. (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) doing WAREHOUSE WORK. LORD SAVE ME IF I HAVE TO DO WAREHOUSE WORK ALL FUCKIN DAY EVERY WEEK!!!!!!!!! but it's ok. they're super sweet and said eventually- ill end up meeting the actual graphic designers at the company and that's rlly all i want. ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ when i got home,, my sister was babysitting her friends baby and i helped out a bit bc he's so sweet and so big now and he said my name!!! and we made videos w him,,, he's so cute..... i will miss him a lot when he moves. when he left, i facetimed my good friend who lives in bulgaria! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) she's so funny fr,, we caught up a bit and then i went to shower!!!!!!!!

i am really fucking tired. i think being this drained has distracted the seasonal depression that i feel at the back of my head. i don't even have time to do my regular hobbies anymore and it sucks but also good for me because i really am locking in and im happy !! (sorta kinda) more like im really proud of myself for pushing through and getting shit done.

ALSO! i got invited to my friends birthday party next week and im excited cause i can see them and the ppl i did the little project with! :)) they're chill and cool asl and they're also funny,,, i love funny people!!! and and and and and,,,, im going to an opening day for big boy college next week, the day before the party, and im going to apply on november. JUST IN CASE! i can always defer it. but i just want to be ahead and think of my career. phew.... that was a typeful...... (｡>﹏<)

im going to catch up on my chicas and relax now,, had a long day.

goodnight!!!~ <33

song of the day: Panavision by Roy Blair !! (king is back)

[mouthpoisons]

people pointed out mel and viktor are super twinning wrt their magic awakenings in season 2 too i honestly couldnt put 2 and 2 together for her i got confused and distracted by all the extra league lore but shes soooo the same but opposite of him ESPECIALLY right now. her literal plot armor magic vs his ''the narrative has you by the throat and youre doomed''ism just throwing it out there at the 11th hour but what if she is also present in the bad future and protected by her magic and the anomaly/time portal is a joint effort between her and viktor. lets fucking go im so excited for whatevers going on with mel

the viktor and jinx narrative twinning has not ended yet i fear

[stellaseverides]

okay so wow... i have quite a few thoughts about the episode....

1. it’s not unknown that i like falice and their ending was sad but definitely needed. i’m more sad that skeet is gone ): also, i’m glad the voyeur story line is tied up nicely.

2. bughead was super cute in this episode and i’m really glad betty finally told jughead.... i’m glad he knew before they all left. their break up was really sad to watch. i hated watching them fall apart.

3. all of the graduation stuff was sad to watch, i am sad that there’s no more high school but i am sooo excited to see them all grownup!

4. honestly, after this episode, season 5 ba doesn’t even worry me anymore. we just snagged our endgame ladies and gentlemen, now we just have to wait it out.

5. JARCHIE. SO MUCH JARCHIE!!! the little bit of jarchie we got when archie was told he can’t graduate was so pure, and i was so sad for my boy. at least he still got to walk with them. archie made me feel soooo much this episode. i’m sad he lied about it tho. JARCHIE’S GOOD BYE SCENES KILLER ME. IM DEADDDD. im so glad archie told him the truth about betty. DONT BRO ME 😭😭

6. okay let’s talk about VARCHIEEEEE. 1) the lil scene in the lab when they wanted to hug, hurt my heart. just let them be happy😭 damn reginald. obviously we knew archie would sign up for the army but i really wasn’t expecting veronica’s reaction, but i did really like that she knew damn right what his plans where before he told her. she knew he’d do something like this but i’m glad they had such a good ending. the make out scene was perfect, i couldn’t have asked for something better. they’re too pure. the bed scene was amazing too. how can you say they don’t love each other? i’m really glad archie told them the truth, even though ronnie got angry, again, they got the send off they deserved. THE JALOPY😭😭😭😭😭 that whole scene made me SOB i was so sad and happy at the same time. THE FUCKING FLASHBACKS!!!!!! IT WAS HIS DAD, RONNIE & JUG 😭😭 tell me we didn’t just get our endgame right there. we win. THE I LOVE YOUS AND THE “MY GIRL”😭😭😭😭 i’m crying again now 😭 i couldn’t have asked for a better goodbye. i’m so excited to see what they have to come. i’m gonna go cry some more now-

7. i think it’s safe to say i loved this episode and i cant wait for next episode!!!

8. ALSO FUCK B*RCHIE 🥰

see you in 7 years juggy ❤️

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: heaven’s brazier / 1.11.21

HOWDY DOODY TIME FOR ARVUS NOTES

seeing as i post these so rarely: these are the notes i take for the d&d campaign im in with jorb, michael, solar, nyx, and penn! you can find the rest of my notes in the explorers of arvus tag on my blog. woohoo

- FIRST SESSION OF THE NEW YEAR LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

currently nonverbal. boy howdyi h ope this wont be a problem. this is fine hold on ive figured out how to make wordpad fucked up and evil. nice. okay time to wait for everybody to assemble ITS BEEN SOOOO LOOOONG also i got to meet audrey! that was pretty poggers

time to head north to the swamp! to cure the plague. as a reminder, one time taure helped somebody sell drugs. NORTH! LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO north of us is a radical jpeg. the radical jpeg is this huge tower! prolly heaven's brazier, then. pog solar: hey does it look like this? [sends a screenshot of a ?cragrock tower? from betweenlands] michael: ..........no.

oops uh oh we didnt . consider being stealthy. this is surely fine

found a small settlement of some sorts! like, right out front of the tower. TIME FOR EVERYONE OT INVESTIGATE

nyx: I FUCKED, jorb: what did you say??? nyx: i said i fucked! leo: WHY ARE YOU FUCKING?

oh man i shoulda read my notes from last session. fuck shit damn. okay this is fine, michael gave us a recap im just Really spacey

AWW! CRABS! or, uh, lobsters. a bunch of lobsters buried themselves here! four feet tall mounds o' mud containing Lobster Friends. they might not be friends actually.

OH GOD I VIBE CHECKED OUR MICROPHONE okay its fine. everything is fine

charlie poked one of the lobsters and everyone got mad BKJDFXGBF OH SHIT THE ALDANI TALK OH SHIT THE ALDANI LOOK WEIRD-- POH MY GHOD MICAHELELEEEEE MICHAEL michael has lil crab claws

okay so the aldani are . a lot. theyre not hostile! theyre also terrified of us and we have no idea how to react. i love them, actually

okay these lobsters are totally being manipulated. time to talk to a false god that's eating the aldani! basically theyre really happy that their god whose name ive forgotten how to spell (fjolnir?) has returned to free them from their lobster curse. except im pretty sure he's just eating them. time to talk! the aldani are very excited about all this but man i do Not trust like that. he's talking in oldtongue, which is neat! oh shit he speaks common too, pog. so far taure and thorne are committing diplomacy

charlie woke up yrel to ask them about fjolnir! i love yrel. yrel didnt actually have any info but any moment i get to interact with yrel makes me habby.

fjollnir is claiming to be a shard of the true fjolnir, and honestly this explanation hes going on does sound legit? i mean hes still definitely killing the aldani but he sounds like hes Trying. silje presses x to doubt

I Pet Silje

okay yeah fjolnir straight up killed the other guys. sucks. guess we gotta tell camp vengeance to Not Go Here

IN THIS HOUSE WE FUCKIN HATE HALVKAR fjolnir hates him too! big pog. sounds like halvkar is up northwest! also apparently the witch has the power to fuck with our minds, so that's... great. also we're not allowed to go east bc theres some sacred city (haedbar?) and fjolnir would rather we Not. also fjolnir doesnt know anything abt the vision, so. welp

man, i want cookies.

GODSPEEEEED YOU BEAAAUTIFUL BASTAAARDS

please no shrek. i do not desire this.

oh hey ive only just discovered that roll20 updated character sheet layout! or at least just moved the currency part. neat. god i wish i had cookies rn i cant stop thinking about it. FUCK ONCE WE'RE DONE ITS GONNA BE WAYYYY TOO LATE TO GO TO THE STORE AAAAAAAAAAAA FUUUUUCK and id have to change out of pajamas. this blows

thorne and silje bonding time! summer: silje looks at you and says ROLL PERSUASION. OH GOD THORNE ROLLED A NAT 1 THIS IS A TRAGEDY attempting to bonding time anyway! bonks thorne and silje together. now kiss OH SHIT OH FUCK A RIVER DRAKE OH GODDAMNIT

oh goddamnit sieron just burned all his spell slots on making healing elixirs (as he does before every long rest). fuck shit damn. OH GOD THE DRAKE ATE SILJE, THIS SUCKS (it didnt kill silje but it did a SHITTON of damage)

sieron is using the wand of wonder! aaaaaaaand HE'S GOING TO BLIND ALL OF US. GOD DAMNIT sieron blinded himself and thorne................. but hey, he blinded the drake at least! also kali. f kali

CHARLIE GOT TO USE DRAGON'S BREATH chose lightning element bc i didnt want to light any scenery on fire dfgkjgh but !! fuck yeah!! didnt have a good damage roll but im just Glad To Do It

silje is being eaten by the drake! silje says Fuck This and stabs the river drake with the blade of the river drake! OH NICE also bc he kinda exploded with blood at the start of the encounter he gets to enchant his sword with blood hunter magic stuff w/o spending health on it! that's pretty pog. god that was Super Cool, silje just sliced up the drake WHILE STILL BEING BITTEN DOWN ON what the fuck my dude

OH FUCK I FORGOT TO ROLL FOR WILD MAGIC nbd we good. got a 3. charlie will not explode today

HEY WHY THE FUCK CAN TAURE DO LIKE 40+ DAMAGE IN ONE TURN oh my god. taure what the hell. DUDE WE FUCKED UP THAT DRAKE SO BAD oh my god holy shit.

GOOD NEWS, SIERON HAS HEALING ELIXIRS

silje has chugged like 3 healing elixirs. good for him!

@ audrey: what does kali main in overwatch [update: michael’s PREVIOUS roommate is the one who played kali. i have no briancells]

we're gonna butcher the river drake! we cant find any salt because all the league players are back at camp vengeance. we did make a good meal though! fuck yeah temporary hitpoints

michael: always happy to activate your trap card, my dude.

hm. we forgot salve was a mechanic we were using. good news is we bought so much that we dont need to worry about it! we paid money to ruin a gameplay mechanic. charlie will not get the plague today

sieron: look! its a frog! charlie: HOLY SHIT, ITSA FROG

sieron i swear to god.

thorne found a weird bird! and then we got derailed talking about fallen london. (the weird bird was a weird batperson!)

fen hill... 2! (we have arrived at the witch's house and there's a big ol tree! and we purified fen hill by helping out the dryad.) OOPS MICHAEL FORGOT A MAJOR PLOT POINT this is what happens when we play like five times a year. womp womp. ill admit i have no idea when charlie's plot stuff is gonna come up bc everything happens So Much REWIND TO CAMP VENGEANCE taure's hair is gold! on the summer solstice! oh boy, and michael is gonna dm solar some info bc thorne rolled a nature check. okay so taure had a vision at Some Point about a tree, and also something about changing of the seasons, and i do not remember any of this and have not reread my notes so oops. WELL AT LEAST IM WRITING IT DOWN NOW

anyway so the witch can probably fuckle our brains so we're trying to be cautious for once in our lives. WILL HOPE'S GUARD SURVIVE THE NIGHT? NEXT TIME, ON EXPLORERS OF ARBUS! ..............im leaving that typo

[grishaverse-oddity]

Welcome back to Oddity watches Hannibal, season 1 episode 2!

Ive got my food and dumb bitch juice (cherry coke) lets do this!

-wow he has bad aim

-ooohhhhh so he has good aim if its a person? Thats interesting

-nah it was just a dream, tragic that would have been an interesting character thing

-i hate living near yee yee ass people, that dead deer gave me flashbacks to when my boss showed me all the deer he hunted this past season 😷

-ooooooo shes pretty

-am I in love with a probable murderer, yes absolutely. Was she on screen for about 30 seconds, mmmhhhhmmmm

-ayyyyeeee we kinda get a theme song! Im so used to Supernatural's growling and static screech

-noooooo he should not be in the field

-yes, get the psych eval and dont go in the field

-NOT HANNIBAL LECTOR NO. LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE WOULD BE BETTER

-im excited to see Hannibal just fuck up this poor unstable man even more. I know he takes a, basically, metaphysical hand mixer to Will's sanity

-ummmmm WHAT?!?

-thats some fair folk shit right there RUN

- thats what I want to be, a decomposing corpse growing mushrooms in the deep woods

-that FBI agent is ADORABLE and I want one

-okay them peeling off their face to see their made me flinch, that was nasty

-HA I do not trust Hannibal in the slightest

-"very well fertilized" 😂

-"buried alive" yeah thats a negative, kill me first thanks!

-and here I thought id seen every horrific way a body could be damaged/mutilated from watching Bones but nope. Heres another horrifying way that actually disturbed me. I must applaud

-LOVE A BAD-ISH GIRL WITH BRAINS

-and shes a redhead??? My biggest weakness

-at least they arent conscious, its not as terrible

-aaawwww your trust in Hannibal is soooo misplaced Will, hes gonna fuck you UP

-DID HE EAT THE HOT REDHEAD??? IS HE FEEDING HER TO THE DETECTIVE GUY???

-is it a nice Chianti that y'all are drinking?

-i hope Hannibal ate that redhead bitch, no one should make Will look that SAD and HURT

-screw it ill kill her myself, she hurt Will shes gonna die

-i love how everyone is so protective of Will, hes like a baby deer that everyone loves

-Ummmm What is a stag doing in a hospital???

-oooohhhh riiiiight. Baby deer is unstable I almost forgot

-her curls are almost making me like her

-HA get a face full of blood bitch

-oop Will is going to go feral, someone is threatening his helpless baby deer

-The fact that this man ALSO PLAYS PRINCE CHAR IN ELLA ENCHANTED is absolutely fucking wild to me

[jewpacabruhs]

hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)

(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)

alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.

with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.

and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.

forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.

everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.

and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.

and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about. 

and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?

and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do. 

that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.

idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.

but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.

i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it. 

tl;dr

so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally. 

i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.

i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious  

thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020! 

[withallthingslove]

the handmaid’s tale s3ep5 thoughts

PUTTING THEM OUT A DAY EARLY BECAUSE IM SO EXCITED

man just when i think im done with this show it pulls me right back in lol (okay I wasn’t actually done I just was annoyed)

baby holly is so fucking cute

so fucking cute

but man was i annoyed at the beginning of the episode... I like(ish) luke in the way that i want him to be written better and just want to be able to root for him and his story. But I constantly get annoyed with how he is written. Because he was kept alive in the show when he wasn’t in the book it’s like the writers dont know how to include him sometimes so he feels shoehorned into june’s thoughts. I love the story line of him raising holly, but then to have the opening be june talking about how much she misses being held and called june as if nick who she loves didnt do that.... it reminded me of in season 2 when june hadnt thought of luke at all and didnt want to leave nick and then suddenly in episode 9 when luke was the main focus of the episode then june thinks of him. It feels like a cop out and the writers being like “oh time to remind viewers june loves luke because we forget about him until now”

and this isn’t anything against luke. i 100% believe june loves him with all her heart. no question. but it’s like the writers think we are dumb and can’t realize that june can still love luke and their memories while also loving nick in the present. So they waste a monologue of june’s voiceover reminding us that she was married

i told you bitches serena was gonna backslide

I fucking told you

jdfghreuijgrew

if anything this demonstrates that june is a selfless mother and serena is just fucking selfish. her one good deed of letting holly go is nothing compared to june as a mother. june fucking told her seeing holly would not do any good, and she of all people knows that considering HANNAH WAS TAKEN FROM HER. but serena is delusional and she thinks its her right to go see june’s kid and june’s husband while june is stuck in gilead

that phone call with luke.... MY HEART. luke fully expressing his emotion and june trying to keep her’s in.... the utter love they have for each other to this day. one plus of this season is luke finally getting emotional moments. it’s about time

i think lawrence felt really bad for june. he says he doesn’t like her but he clearly does a little bit. the way he silently offered a handkerchief and the way he looked at her after the call ended... you could see the wheels turning in his head like “this is fucked up and i cant really do anything to help her”

tuello looking fine as always

i told one of my friends the other day that while serena sucks and she doesnt deserve love i do want her to just fuck tuello. And I said that since serena is fertile and it’s fred that is sterile she should just go have a baby with him instead. And idk if its my bias to that possible story line or what but i feel like this episode kind of hinted at that? tuello again offered her a way out of gilead and i mean... they’re both hot people and they want this show dragging on for 7 more seasons so they gotta do something

after this encounter though i stan luke

the way he said “fuck you” to serena

the way he did not give her the satisfaction of playing into her delusion 

WE STAN AN ICON

when serena very angrily went “i protected your wife” and luke went “what did you say?” .... where was serena going with that?

because she literally held june down while she was raped including when she was pregnant.... that is not protecting her. has she somehow wiped s2ep10 from her memory??? 

the only two things I could think of was either serena arranging for nick and june to sleep together (lol as if they wouldnt have anyway) and then keeping holly’s parentage a secret, or her covering for holly’s escape and june’s reassignment. If anyone else has any ideas about what that line meant feel free to reply or hit up my ask box because I wasn’t sure how to interpret it. But I interpreted luke’s reaction as either “wait what did she need protecting from?” or “shut up you are the reason she is in danger”

luke was too good for letting serena hold holly and that scene was gross... serena is NOT her mom she’s just a delusional and selfish woman

watching her cry... im supposed to feel sorry for that bitch???? I dont

as soon as fred said “it doesnt have to be” i looked into an imaginary camera like here we fucking go

at first i thought the gift for luke from june was just going to be music to remind him of her but omg

omg 

omg

omg

I knew luke was going to find out that holly is nick’s child eventually based on cast interviews

but

fjrgfhrewfjkrhfkfdjrf

i have so many thoughts on that recorded message and kind of blacked out when i realized what she was going to say. and then she said even more than i thought she would

1. june is so fucking mature. your protagonist could never

2. seriously june articulates everything so well. obviously she is ashamed that she fell in love with someone else and has conflicting feelings about loving two people. and I think it’s so great that she acknowledged that

3. she encouraged luke to move on. that’s.... really big of her. i think june at this point has resigned herself to dying in gilead. But she also tells luke that she is not the same person anymore, and that she had to make a life for herself in gilead. Which is you read any of my posts/anon replies IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN SAYING FOR 2 YEARS. Luke and june obviously love each other SOOOO much. But i think luke has been a bit more daydreamy in his thinking of being reunited while june has always been a realist. that’s why she has survived in gilead for so long

4. SHE SAID NICHOLE’S REAL NAME IS HOLLY. THANK FUCKING YOU. now we can drop the bs of nichole lol

5. She said Holly was born out of love. LOVE. And told Luke Nick’s name. NICK AND JUNE ARE HOLLY’S PARENTS. AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. THE WRITERS SAID NICKxJUNE RIGHTS. I have been waiting for this admittance for 5 fucking episodes because we spent so much time on serena bullshit

6. She admitted the reason she stayed was to find Hannah and try and get her out and then told luke she loved him

7. Luke’s reaction... that had to be so hard for him to hear. But at the end of the day I think it’s better to know that than to keep thinking holly is the product of rape. And that’s why june wanted him to know. Holly’s history and her true parentage are important. And I think luke’s reaction was so human and heartbreaking, but the fact luke can take care of holly i think he can have it in his heart to accept what june is saying and not resent her

aight so june’s shopping partner.... not really sure what to make of that scene. She seemed to be in shock. And so much softer than we are used to seeing and I felt like that was a hint to her true personality. But who knows

fyi in case you guys forgot... the waterfords suck ESPECIALLY SERENA 

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 4 - "Now the fun part begins" ~Colin

All I gotta say....finesse

Look at us go✨ I say us because if I say me that sounds conceited even tho it was literally a hero challenge 😂. [HI THIS WAS BURIED IN MY TABS IT'S FROM ROUND 3 I WAS PROBS GONNA WRITE MORE BUT OH WELL]

We tribe swapped and I was really stressed at first because now im on the tribe that loses all of the challenges. But its fine bcs im friends with everyone now and im in an alliance with Ginny and Amy. I also love Danny he is literally under the influence rn im exposing him. But hopefully when hws sober he remembers how cool i am and we will work together. And Jennifer is on my tribe and we're friendly with each other. But honestly it would be in my best game interests to have her the one voted out. If it comes to that. Bcs Im literally working with everyone and shes pretty inactive.

Welp. Here we are. Swapped. It's a lil fucked up but I saw it coming. So I got stuck with Brayden which is like whatever to me, I'm glad him and I talked enough on original phantoms. But the issue is that it's just him and myself. Along with that its the two S.E.E.S. and one Fool. So I immediately swooped in on Jared, I tried to be relatable with him by talking about Danny and Shaad, who I know, and I think gthat brought him comfort. I spilled to Jared that Danny and Shaad know each other to show him that I have info and I'm willing to be open about stuff and talk with him straight up. We got to talking, and we declared that we want to work together WHICH IS GREAT!! Idk how much I can trust him, but if I show him loyalty and openness I think I'd get it back from him which is clutch. I need him to be the third with Brayden and myself, but I'm sure Jay and Elle are thinking the exact same thing. That's why I swooped in so fast, and I'm sure he'll tell them what they want to hear and theres a chance hes doing that to me as well (and I don't blame him, make your own decisions Jared king), but I need to show him that sticking with me is the better option. Idk idk I'm just trying to avoid playing my idol rn. I'll keep working on Jared, and I'll see what Brayden's been up to. ALSOOO APPARENTLY so Brayden tells me that him and Elle played together (which I knew), but he voted them out so idk how their dynamic is. Lots to think about, I guess now I actually do want to win immunity because I don't feel as secure as I did on original phantoms. But I def have Brayden on my side, and I'm really hoping Jared is truly gonna ride with me. Idols/advantages are also a potential problem here because what if Elle or Jay have one. I hope Brayden is just lying to me and he secretly has something too. I almost told him about mine but I decided against it. Much to think about, much to do, much to win.

I got an idolllll✨ lol so glad i signed up because no one else from my tribe did so it was super easy 😄 Tribe swap!! Sad bc i'll miss Colin 😔 real homie right there um i mean sure others too maybe lol I switched with Jay so no worries there and Anastasia I'm sorry to say we've never really clicked like we've worked together before (and she's backstabbed me before) but we've never really been like *this* y'know??? And Babs and Jennifer I barely talked to Babs likes musical theater and vine references tho so she's cool B) Anywayssss Dennis knows the pain of being a Starbucks barista and I was with Jared in the shape memory and felt bad for them oof so yeah OH! and Brayden helped vote me out in Kyoshi after saying he wouldn't vote for me... Dont Love That but also it was kinda a hopeless situation in Kyoshi kinda tragicccc for me funnily enough I was tribe swap screwed over but that's not like this time (if it is I will SCREAM but also I'm chill with whatever place I get in this game so eh) yeah i kinda made myself stop drinking caffeine/copious amounts of sugar for a year and then started back at Starbucks and immediately broke soooo I have no idea how coherent this is I think we'll do well in the challenge!! It's scavenger hunt but also I am working this weekend :( hate that for me ik me too boo so we'll see how much I can do I remember being upset at myself in prev. seasons because I went too hard in challenges and I feel like in this one I just don't have the time to 😂 the way to get priorities is to get a life apparently lol kidding but also am I??? Idk kinda forgot what I was talking about. Yay in the Phantom tribe now and we will crush this challenge✨

This tribe is getting on my nerves. 2 of them are super nice and I'd love to work with them but I don't know how the pre-alliances worked before this tribe. I really enjoy Amy and Anastasia but trying to talk to Ginnifer is like pulling teeth and Jennifer still hasn't said....anything.

https://youtu.be/maj4CRLrsjQ sorry this is really long i didnt mean to

My tribe is going to council.

At first, I thought I was SCREWED because I got neither Amy, Dennis, or Brayden from my OG tribe for the swap. I barely spoke to Josh, but at least he tries in challenges and we have that going for us. I absolutely adore Colin, he's experienced and he doesn't hide it, but here's a good support system and I see why he goes far in these games. By virtue of me being active, I can hopefully stay alive from this swap. As for the challenge, it's incredibly difficult to do since only the 3 of us are actively doing it, and with 3 slots, it means everyone has to do everything, which is virtually impossible. Shaad complained about his old tribe but a lot of his tribemates' confessionals about him were about him being inactive, and I'm definitely seeing it. Babs hasn't even accepted my message request yet. I absolutely trust Colin and I'm debatable with Josh, but I sure hope that he's not working with Shaad and Babs. But I'm 99% sure that's not the case because even Colin hasn't talked to Babs much and they haven't even been accepting message requests. I absolutely think we're headed to tribal, but honestly, that might be fine because it'll save my other allies in the other tribes. I just hate going to tribal council because it's never fun and it makes me nervous. Every time. But hopefully my social relationships I've made will get me through this swap even if I have to (at last, I guess) go to tribal council. 

~

https://youtu.be/FJOPBi8cnBk

The swap is fun so far doing a fun and hilarious scavenger hunt but yuck my face is sticky blech 

Okay I think I figured out a lot. I think all the idols are on my tribe. The way Jared and Jay talk to me shows me that theyre smart players and I realllllly think they both have idols. And the three of us are just dancing around that subject. So if we go to tribal, I have to move very cautiously and thats why im trying to get another advantage. I think Jay is going for it too, homeboy messages me in 10 minute intervals. I think I can only afford going to tribal once with this tribe, I'm just hoping we win out especially if all the idols are chilling here I don't want to play it yet. Ima just keep hunting i dont have a lot of thoughts rn.

I'm not sure where I'm at. I feel decent about elle, she has familiarity with me, it should be convenient for her and I to stay together. I do like Jared too...the hope is that he links up with us and we can take out Brayden. Nothing personal against Brayden, but I like Dennis more, and I feel like I can work with Dennis in a merge scenario. If we can get Brayden out whenever we go to tribal, I'll also be put in a scenario at that point where I can either go with Jared and Elle, or maybe Jared and Dennis. Dennis seems very low key and more social than strategic, so he's a good person to play with for a decent amount of time. 

Uh idr my last confessional or when it was :( we just did the scavenger hunt challenge and are waiting for results and i really hope we don't have to go to tribal bc what a crappy birthday present that'd be!! Bc my birthday is tomorrow :)))))) I hope people remember bc I'm not going to say anything 😶 just to see who remembereddddd probs no one and ill break midday or maybe I'll leave it alone who knows! I'm going on a picnic tomorrow tho and then probs celebrating with fam so it'd be a bad day for a tribal :( OMG what if I got voted out on My Birthday that'd be so r00d but like kinda iconic too very memorable 21st brithday the one where I was voted out Metaverse... anyways uh hope we win this challenge lol 😅

Okay so it's cute and all that we won but Miss Jennifer needs to go ASAP. I low-key wanted to go to tribal just so I could let her GO, but it's whatever. I get a day to chill finally. I don't have to think as hard anymore. I feel good.

~

I think the thing I am very interested in seeing is what's about to happen with Shaad in that tribe.

~

But also, I really love Amy. I think she's really gonna be good for me.

okay i've been slacking on confessionals so im gonna pretend this is like 2 days ago and make one solely about the swap AHHH TRIBE SWAP i'm kinda excited that none of my alliance members are on my new tribe. that seems opposite but its gonna give me a better chance to branch out and make new connections, then when merge hits rekindle the old alliance that existed pre swap. hopefully that all pans out!! immediately I started vibing with Jodi. she's an absolute QUEEN and we match each other's energies perfectly. we've been shading others in the tribe, joking around, connecting personally, it's been great!! honestly i knew within like the first 20 mins I wanted to duo with her and be a f2. the rest of the tribe however? sheeeeesh babs and shaad are very inactive. apparently shaad blew up on his last tribe bc they almost voted him out... for being inactive? like sir if the shoe fits. pls fix it. babs is going THRU it and I feel for them. but... just say somethin josh is kind of a king. jodi likes him. he's putting in a lot of effort and I appreciate that. not sure if it makes him a threat but it definitely makes him an asset SO I approached both of them with an alliance!! and it worked!! i now have ANOTHER alliance woo!! with josh and jodi!! woo!! here's part of my host chat rambling bc I confess way more there than I do here i think Jodi and Josh might be like a duo tho the way Jodi talks about is kinda sus imma need to weasel my way in maybe I'll suggest a trio alliance as the most 'active' people on the tribe as a means to get close to them, then I'll use that to secure a f2 with jodi jodi radiates the same type of chaotic energy I do in games but she gets more bored than I do which is not good but more fun

~

we LOST but im not SURPRISED i feel like we shouldve won SOLELY bc I got SANDRA DIAZ-TWINE to send me a selfie. that's fucking iconic. one of my proudest org career moments. anyway now the fun part begins. gotta decide who goes. it's either shaad or babs. I think the easiest and most common sense thing to do is vote babs because they've been more inactive. but also its the first live tribal and I think shaad will give drama if we vote him off. and that makes GOOD FUCKING TV. so idk. options options. we'll see!

holy shit phantoms won immunity. phantoms stays the winning tribe 4 times in a row holy shit. i actually wanted to win this time and put a lot of effort into this because no ma'am i need safety rn and work on these relationships. just need time. speaking of time, im about to hit hour 12 of the endurance hunt and im starting to feel like a madman. but babyyyyy i want another advantage and hopefully another fucking idol holy shit can you imagine???? i still haven't told anyone and my lips are gonna remain sealed. however i still think that yall are messy and set up my tribe where u knew brayden and i werent super close and from what ive gathered jay and elle weren't close either. so u put the two pairs that arent close with the one fool. okay so what else could we possibly have in common on this tribe to add more mess? IDOLS!!!!! like the three people that got the idols got swapped onto the same tribe like that has to be it. so jared would have to have one, even though he told me he didnt but the way he talked to me about idols in general literally makes me feel like he has one. i was like it would be so nice to have a little bit of security and hes like yeah i know what you mean. like bro just tell me u got a fuckin idol already. so then jay or elle have to have one. and i am convinced jay has one. maybe elle is gonna gag me with her idol but im gonna assume its jay. jared has spoken with him, and i have spoken with him. the three of us feel really good with each other (but im pretty sure jared has me above him bc i got to him first). we'll probs make an alliance chat shortly. i recognize that jared and jay are good at the strategic part of the game and are really smart and just good overall competitors and ESPECIALLY if they have idols that makes them even more dangerous. so i have to work with them than against them i have to make sure that they know i have them above everyone else. i think three strong players naturally gravitated towards eachother and if we really all do have idols its so funny that we're not telling each other. but im slowly but surely working on getting it out of them but if theyre as smart as i think they are they wont tell me. im just gonna continue being "transparent" with them and we'll see where it goes i hope they dont catch on. also jays a fucking liar because we were on a call today and i asked him if he did any hunts. he gave me a pause and then slurred his speech when he said "i haven't done any" like broooooooo ur fuckin lying to me right through your teeth. im convinced hes doing this one because he was up early for some breakfast and his lil skype thing showed online status allllll day like i gotta assume hes doing it. even if he didnt do the first three like hes def doing the last three dont play dumb with me!!!! i am not the one baby. but actually as im writing this hes not online anymore so if he really was doing it maybe he stopped? so if he was up early i would assume he started at 7 or 8 and ending by 9:30 he did 13 or 14 hours? idk im literally going till i cant stay up anymore ive already hit the 12 hours mark now if i went this long i have to go for the w likeee i have to. thats all i got for ya right now dont ever ask me for anything again.

no joke my brain is melting pls help

~

i want a survivor wiki page :(

During challenge: https://youtu.be/IsGPtYtgnQ4 After challenge results: https://youtu.be/CgmLGWBvEhw

https://youtu.be/Yfsh_odV-Zg

The tribe swap really confused me. I was finally getting the hang of this game but now I'm doubting myself again. I also haven't been active much for the past 2 days and I think my tribe mates have noticed. I need to stay on top of things better if I don't want to (eventually) get voted out.

That this tribe swap screwed me over. It left me with Babs whos been completely inactive and Shaad whos been completely useless. At least I gained an alliance with Jodi and Colin but this is fucking pitiful.

https://youtu.be/pE207b8VRFE

can't wait to vote out jared and jay once jury starts

So I had planned on doing hourly milestone activities like calling a friend at 15 hours, eating ice cream at 16 hours etc and I was filming it to vlog the evening for my confessionals.. but my mom called me around 10:55 for a family emergency and when it was done it was 11:01 and my alarm got overridden by the call. That’s how I dropped and I’m really sad 😔 i low key don’t wanna play the game today but I literally have tribal so I have to stay online, even tho I’d still be more active than babs and shaad ☠️ I wanted this one so bad because the only thing I’m good at is not sleeping. Whoever went longer than 15.5 hours is now at the top of my hitlist, if I find out you also tried this hard for an advantage, I will take u out w my army. Even if it’s a superidol. The only good thing from this L is it ignited a huge motivator for me to play this game hard again (but not too hard) but have a goal and mission to complete. 

~

https://youtu.be/PR8XWvdH-Hc

~

update: i think Amy has it. I'll ask her about it at the merge, she won the 24 hour comp in her last org so it's very possible she gunned this advantage out. if she tells me she has it, then i know I'm absolutely her #1, if not, then we'll see what happens ..... 

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Phantom

Jared: He has done well to place himself firmly in the middle of his tribe. The two sides are definitely going by tribal lines at the moment which makes him the most powerful person on the tribe. Everyone wants to work with him. He will definitely be safe if his tribe has to go to tribal council soon.

Jay: This comes as a surprise, but Jay has bonded well with Jared. So much so that Jared listed Jay as the person he trusts the most currently on his tribe. This gives the S.E.E.S. side a bit more longevity on this tribe which is definitely in Jay’s interest. I can see Jared and Jay forming a tight duo.

Dennis: He is definitely in a better spot than he was on his last tribe. No one on this tribe has explicitly said they distrust or want to target Dennis. He’s playing it safe which is good. He lands himself higher than Elle because Jared seems to trust him more. If the decision was between Dennis and Elle, he would be the one safe. Additionally, he’s also sniffed out that the idols are all on this tribe (which is just a coincidence). However, he believes that Jay has it rather than Elle which is an unfortunate guess from him. However, what is excellent game sense is that he wants to form an alliance with Jay and Jared which could definitely benefit him in the long run when he needs to separate himself from his Phantoms.

Elle: It is sad to see Elle near the bottom, but it doesn’t seem like they have won anyone over with their charm on this tribe. Everyone besides Jay sees Elle as someone expendable if this tribe were to go to two consecutive tribal councils. On the plus side, Elle has an idol. If it comes to that, she may be able to keep herself safe.

Brayden: For some reason, no one except Dennis trusts Brayden. In fact, I would not be surprised if Jared, Jay, and Elle came to the consensus that he should be the one to go out of the two Phantoms. Brayden’s unwillingness to work with Dennis rears its ugly head as, even now, Brayden wants to distance himself from Dennis. He seems to believe that he is good with Jay and Jared when both parties have listed him on the bottom of their trust rankings. If Brayden is not careful, he is going to find himself blindsided and voted out premerge in this game.

Fools

Danny: Amy and Anastasia want to keep Danny in spite of their alliance with Ginny. It feels as if both of them want to work closely with him AND want to ditch that alliance. Danny easily has the most control as he has key allies that are willing to go to bat for him if things get messy. I even believe that he would be saved rather than Ginny if this tribe were to go to tribal council consecutively.

Anastasia: Her prior connection with Ginny has instantly landed her in an alliance with Amy despite the fact she doesn’t even know Amy like that. In fact, Anastasia doesn’t even trust Amy that much, but is still willing to work with her and pretend to be allies. Additionally, she has gotten into the good graces of Danny for whom she is trying to work closely with. Anastasia is the most connected with Danny which means she is the safest out of the group. However, Amy sees right through the veneer which means that Anastasia could be labelled as a big threat and be subsequently taken out at the early stages of merge. It was definitely a mistake to inform Amy about their prior connection with Elle.

Amy: What lands Amy here is that Anastasia doesn’t trust her. I was surprised too, but, looking at it, Anastasia would cut Amy over Ginnifer. What puts her above Ginnifer is her activity, however. Hopefully Amy can gain more trust with Danny and Anastasia and be safer in the future. Amy has a good read on Anastasia which keeps her in this position as well. She knows exactly what she needs to do to survive this tribe with the necessary numbers, but can she do it?

Ginnifer: I believe Ginnifer made a misstep by creating an alliance with Anastasia and Amy. At least for Amy, she doesn’t know how to feel considering Ginny never mentioned the alliance and just put them in it. It may have been a bit too presumptuous which leads to hesitation and distrust with the people she wants to ally with. Finally, Danny was also annoyed by Ginny being inactive near the start of the challenge which lowers her overall safety at tribal council

Jennifer: Where is Jennifer San Diego? Her inactivity and unhelpfulness in the challenge makes her the easiest target. There’s not much to say except if she doesn’t pick it up soon and socialize, she will be sitting in the VL.

S.E.E.S.

Jodi: Once again, Jodi has emerged as the tribe leader. Despite being on a plane for the whole day, she has been the most vocal about organizing the challenge. People are very attracted to Jodi’s energy making it easy for her to make allies in any situation she finds herself in. Right now, she has allied with Colin and Josh which easily puts her on the top of this trio alliance. Therefore, she is the safest person on the tribe. She has also been dictating this vote pretty heavily. I fear that Jodi just does not know how to chill though. Her biggest weakness is that she will jump out at anything and try to keep talking when she should just hold back. If she keeps playing the way she is, she will end up as an early jury boot.

Colin: Colin has attached himself to Jodi pretty heavily. I can definitely see this being Colin’s Final 2 rather than any of his allies back on S.E.E.S. The good part about it is that Jodi seems to feel the same way which is great. Additionally, Colin can hide behind Jodi’s massive target at merge.

Josh: Josh does very well in the challenges which keeps him in people’s good graces. His activity definitely helps him survive this tribe as well. He has found himself allied with Jodi out of necessity though. I do not doubt that Colin and Jodi will leave Josh in the dust once merge rolls around and they have their allies back. However, Josh is doing the thing he should be doing at pre-merge: being good at challenges and being active. Anything more would put an unnecessary target on his back at merge.

Babs: Babs is never online and did not even try to help in the challenge. This leaves them low. However, they do still have a Vote Blocker so they can pull some shenanigans if they so choose. Additionally, their inactivity may be used as a shield for now as, at the very least, Jodi is still willing to gtry and get to know Babs.

Shaad: I do not particularly understand why the trio alliance wants to target Shaad. He has a pre-established enemy in Jared and is willing to blow up if he wants to. He could make a great shield in the future, and he would not target these people. However, they believe that Shaad is more useless in the challenges than Babs (despite Babs never being online). And, without any allies on this tribe, there is no one there to vouch for Shaad making his demise seem clear. I hope somehow Shaad can pull himself out, but it does not seem likely.

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 11: “Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one?” - Aimee

Amy A

Ben ☹️. I didn’t play too well with him and it was such a good blindside I couldn’t resist. I wish him well and I just have a feeling I’m next to go 

Olivia A

Okay umm we got Ben out but it turns out Kalle gave me a real idol? So I feel weird. The reason we began suspecting her of lying was because Hanuha people knew about Maddison’s safety without power advantage and Kalle was literally the only person who could’ve told them. IDK!!

Aimee

I’m just so tired of crying! Sarah tried to video chat and I just couldn’t. No one knew I don’t think that Ben and I were so close. Gaaaaah I’m gonna miss him so much! He just helped me so much to stay sane in this game. The last thing I need is anyone seeing me as a big hot mess. I can’t catch a break. 

Sarah

From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo

Pedro A

when i actually thought i was at the bottom........THERES EVEN A LOWER BOTTOM...THAT IM IN RIGHT NOW......chille ben screwed us BIG TIME....we were in a great spot..i dont even know what to say at this point

Sarah

Wow. Okay. I didn’t want to be a villain but here we are. I will post a video confessional soon but for now, the plan to vote out Ben actually worked. I called Maddison last minute and explained that Ben and Kalle were tight and were all over the place, playing both sides. Maddison found out that Kalle was a rat and was not being completely truthful and we both agreed on voting Kalle or Ben. We agreed on Ben because we thought Kalle was going to play her idol on herself.... turns out Ben was telling the truth in voting out Kalle to old Hanuha and Kalle actually gave Olivia a real idol. More to come... but for now I feel like a villain ahhh. 

Kalle N.

Well I said that my only goal was to make jury and not go to the FTC so it looks like Ben really helped me achieve that. THAT FOOL REALLY FUCKED ME OVER ON HIS WAY OUT THE DOOR. This is fine. I will never let him forget that I've beaten him twice now and that's all that matters. Did not see this tribal coming at all. Can't wait to get voted out next

Najwah

If I learned anything today is that we tend to read in and over think and make up scenarios in our head. Ben was actually on our side all along? Who would have thought. All the bits and pieces he told us today just didn't add up and Cody said he was different and everyone was just quiet and Ben didn't talk in the group, he spoke to people individually. I don't really understand what just happened but we wasted so much energy speculating lmao. And now where the hell do we go from here? Cody has become so paranoid also. The minute Ben told him that those people will be writing his name he became soooo paranoid wtf. Then he WASTED an advantage and idol at tribal? Just bc he still didn't trust the plan. I'm starting to think that Cody just can't trust anyone or any process. I really think he needs to chill more. Be more low key. Just try to be calm. If you get voted out, it's not like you're going to die or something. It's just a game after all. 

Aimee

Apparently tribe was getting too suspicious of how Ben and Kalle were so close. I still don’t get why I had to be left out of the vote though? Why can’t I get the respect to be told what is happening before the vote, so I have time to process my emotions and have my stuff together a little. https://immunityilol.tumblr.com/post/617448854807298048 Instead I get nothing. I get a call from Sarah right after Ben is voted out. Obviously I can’t answer it because I’m crying and no one knew I was super close to Ben. I’m just so angry right now first Grae now Ben! IS MADDISON NEXT!? FUCK! Like Gah I’m afraid to get close to anyone. But I just love getting to know people. I finally got to video chat with Maddison. Fucking loved it! She is great to talk to and great to have on this crazy skype isolation island. I need some interaction and realness right now. Ok I’m totally drinking. It’s hard enough to process all this nonsense sober. We will see what the next day brings. 

Aimee

Sarah I really don’t want us to end up like this Casanova music video. 😢💔 I guess everyone wants to blindside Aimee as a treat. I hope people got their jollies out of it. 🌟 Allie X - Casanova feat VÉRITÉ https://youtu.be/YpVunjboAWg

Sarah

From last night.... https://youtu.be/EirlyVVXDKk

Sarah

Day 21 https://youtu.be/aYiGStuSKDA

Pedro A

Im afraid Kalle will throw me under the bus...just to stay this week cause shes on the bottom....and im also afraid that maddison and olivia will try to convince kalle to vote me out...instead ....since they are coming for me ...GOSHHH..i hate my life...i need immunity...CAN I LIKE HAVE IT?

Pedro A

okay so im excited to see everyone's answers to this challenge...THIS WILL BE INTERESTING...it will reveal a lot of people real thoughts ..IM READY FOR TEAAAA YALL

Najwah

I enjoyed my day today. I think it's the first time I was fully in the real world in 22 days. I'm playing a reckless game right now. There are so many layers in this game but after last night's tribal and learning that Ben was being legit, I just feel bad. I love Cody but he's definitely a loose cannon and can't play low key. Which is definitely bad for my game. He and Sarah are trying to push me into getting Amy on our side, but our relationship just isn't like that. I don't want to make her feel used. I like her. I really like her a lot. I like Sarah too. And Cody. I want to be friends with all these people IRL lol so I don't want to play against them or lie to them. This game just gets harder every time someone gets voted off tbh but I'm at the point where I feel like "if my plan works, then great", "if it doesn't, then whatever. I get to chill on panderosa and get to sleep more and actually spend time with my family and friends who I've been avoiding since this started lmao" Also, I'd be able to work again. I haven't got much work done urgh. I don't know whether my super idol is real. I'm curious to see what tonight's challenge will reveal. I am not going in with any syrategy

Cody wants to go for Kalle and Pedro coz they voted for him? I don't know, I think that's kinda silly and I'm not about revenge. You have to think rationally. And we have made a few irrational choices of late because people read into things. I still wish Ben hadn't told Cody that everyone was voting for him. That's how so much of yesterday's shit started. I have been so tired since yesterday. Tired of the scheming and overthinking and being paranoid over nothing urgh. Aimee also wants to call me after the challenge. I'm kinda scared tbh. I had a dream last night that Aimee killed me lmao this game is haunting me and giving me nightmares. Honestly, I'd be okay if anyone left wins this game. Okay except Kalle. She's the only one I've not interacted with and she just seems dodge idk. Maybe I'm still thinking about Zack's stupid analysis on people. Anyways. 

Najwah

I'm happy for Maddison tbh. She deserved that. I just want to scream about Cody though? Why did Cody chop Aimee? Wtf. And that made Aimee chop Sarah before she chopped Amy or Maddison. I'm so confused. Ugh. 

Maddison

Apparently I don’t know much about this tribe. Yeet!

Pedro A

Villan of the season?....im honored...but bitter jury?...i didnt like that one..lol

Aimee

I chopped Pedro for Grae. 

I chopped Olivia and haha sorry I got so nervous on here that I just chopped the final chop, even though that was savage as hell... I called her a goat and then chopped her right out of the game. Oops hahahahaha. When I watch this challenge back I look like the C word with a capital C.... And that word isn’t “cartwheel.” I chopped Sarah for the Ben blindside. I chopped Amy for my mental health. I can’t lose Maddison! I’m so sick of being tortured that I truly am running out of fucks tbh. Just chop anyone, whatever. Why do I care...

Aimee

Ohhhh Najwah!!!! Don’t worry about not telling me about the vote or accidentally calling me a goat because you didn’t know the meaning. I think I would make a cute goat. https://nunyabizni.tumblr.com/post/615593098008035328 Love that you think I’m actually “the Greatest of All Time.” I adore you and our friendship 💖❤️💞 luv you girl!!! I know you’re truly being genuine unlike others. I’m waiting for this game to tip in our favor so we can run with it. https://youtu.be/TGwZ7MNtBFU This MV is dedicated towards Najwah after Cody swooped in and stole my final 2 with her. No hard feelings; I have my own stuff to sort out after my man Ben was voted out. I’m pretty confident you have a final 2 with Cody and I love that for you. 🧡💛💚 I’m happy y’all got together and are strong with Sarah. But here I am. Do you all think I am just floating over here with no one? Just not playing the game and grazing my grass over here like a “goat?” They really don’t know how close I was with Ben and they got stupid lucky on that one. I’m not as clueless as you all think... it’s in your best interest to reconsider. Also let’s not skip over the fact that Sarah and I both didn’t get an answer on touchy subjects for “who do you trust the most.” Yeah don’t think I didn’t peep that. 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Sarah didn’t put me and I didn’t put her. I put Maddison. Cody had 2 votes. Najwah and Sarah put him. I’m not dense. I guess Sarah is cool with being that 3rd wheel. Loving the fact that apparently no one has been seeing me reaching across the aisle for damn DAYS trying to play with Maddison.... oh honey, oh girl...oh no no ... that was just Ben right? Yeah. My final 2 with Ben is gone so I’m rogue and hoping I can get Maddison as far as possible with me. Also! Just letting you all know I’m not a damn chump. It’s SO OBVIOUS that Cody Najwah and Sarah have a fucking secret chat that they’ve been in since the beginning of all time, which included Zack. You’ve heard it here first folks. Oh and I’ve known this for at least a week or two. The tells are so blatant, but catch me pretending to have no idea. I’m not the goat that you think I am, but I would LOVE you to continue to think of me of a goat and forgettable. If you knew what I was doing I wouldn’t be allowed to get to the end. If I’m on any players radars then that means I am doing a bad job. So, I absolutely loved what this challenge revealed. I know way more than people think I know, but I am playing up the ditzy card hardcore. I would much rather prefer to be a stealthy sniper that people think is not playing. Give me a chance to explain my game in the final tribal and you might regret that. I have been doing all the same moves as Ben and same exact strategy.... he gets called a big threat and blindsided and yet here I am with identical strategy and totally left alone and tbh a little disrespected but that works to my advantage. Perception is not reality! This could be everyone’s biggest mistake and I honestly love it. I just want Kalle and Pedro out tbh. I got my big boobs and my positivity. I’m mind strong and I’m ready to get this. Your lady is never giving up. If you blindside me again it better be me that gets voted out. Otherwise you’re all in a world of fucking trouble... https://64.media.tumblr.com/0389c791f095d54973543b32d4414577/984582d2a107588c-89/s540x810/c10ec7b961de2fd3b693a886ea7385b04ed3d653.gifv

Najwah

I am still tired. LOL. Amy L still hasn't replied to me. I think she hates me right now and I burned the bridge with her, which I'm obviously sad about because it's the only bridge I really cared about? Like she's the only person who I was 100% sure about and we've always respected each others allegiance to their alliances. Anyway. What does it matter now? I'm going to let Cody and Sarah make a plan with this tribal scrambling. Oh Cody said the reason he chopped Aimees rope is because he didn't want her to win immunity again lmao so he rather chops someone in his own alliance wtf I can't get over that fatal mistake. That and playing the extra vote and idol😭😭 ugh and I think people assume I am his goat or something lmaooooo I absolutely adore Cody but I really hope he doesn't mess things up for himself. Sarah wants me to get coins for them to buy an immunity idol. Do I really want to waste 5 coins again on someone whose just going to get paranoid and play it? I don't know. I need to think on it. 

Aimee

Welp I finally told my first lie in this game and hopefully it’s not my demise. I guess it’s my turn to be messy. I’m still coping with Ben being gone. 💔😢😫 Why the nut, did I tell Pedro I want him here. It was definitely too much alcohol and worried if he had another idol I would be the throw vote. Welp we will see if he throws that info all over the island. https://64.media.tumblr.com/d9f98e355c7e9229777fa982551cfd7e/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do7_250.gifv https://64.media.tumblr.com/d37a2b6f76f83c1beaca2ca2bac6bb72/tumblr_nr72mkoPHr1rs8h9do3_250.gifv I’ve made peace with it though. This lady ain’t stopping, but if this puts me in jury. I’m honestly excited! I’ll finally get to talk to James, Grae and Ben again! And that makes my heart warm. ♥️ 

Pedro A

I'm probably going home tonight....kinda done with this.....I'm exhausted and emotionally drained from this experience.. I just wanna chill...at the end of the day its either me or kalle....so may the odds be in my favor!!

Najwah

I'm nervous about this vote. Apparently Maddison and co are willing to work with us to get Kalle out. I don't know how legit it is but I'm tired tonight and I just think I should do an early vote before people change their minds. 

Amy A.

So we had the game yesterday and there was a question about ‘closest Ally’ and no one chose me. I’m not really bothered about everyone else except NAJWAH. She didn’t choose me! I was the only one who chose her cos her name came just ONCE. Whoever she ended up choosing as her closest ally didn’t even choose her. It’s made me real life sad because I trusted her so much. Honestly, I didn’t even think twice about putting her name down for closest ally. I haven’t even spoken to anyone about tonight’s vote. Idk who I’m voting for but I know it’s not her cos I promised her that. That’s the only reason. Maybe I’m the one going home. I don’t know. 

Maddison

Let’s hope for a straightforward vote tonight with no unforeseen twists!

Aimee

https://youtu.be/m4Z0RN_KhK0 A flow mobz - thrill over fear (feat. luna blake) Omg I couldn’t sleep last night and I just woke up being bitchy about Pedro. I don’t think he actually has anyone besides maybe Kalle. My walls are up and I just want this vote to work in my favor and be Kalle. I hope there are no hard feelings after this game. I just want to get to know everyone during all this covid madness and have some fun. 🌈