#LASZLO FUCKING APOLOGIZING??????

[littleoceanbabe]

everyone turning up to guillermo’s hiding spot was actually so heartwarming i felt like i was intruding on the moment. they all love him in their own little freakish ways. they’re all friends!! they’re all family!!! they love each other bitches!!!!!!

[uhnoobuhhs]

My thoughts on these last two episodes:

Though things seems to have gone back to what they were, I believe they are also completely different at the same time.

Because although being a vampire was Guillermo’s dream, I think in the years he’s spent with the vampires, the main reason he wanted to be turned was so he could be considered a valued part of the team

He wanted the vampires to see him like family, to care about him the way he does for them.

And that’s come true, all the vampires care and love and worry for Guillermo now.

They all demonstrated this in their own different ways this season:

from Laszlo actively trying to help Guillermo, showing up at his motel to apologize for not being as helpful (which was actually very sweet of him) to that final scene with Derek

to Nadja taking Guillermo to the vet and protecting him from being harmed

To Colin stopping by the motel to give Guillermo a farewell gift.

They all were worried about him. They all didn’t want him to get killed, that’s why they kept his secret despite knowing how hurt and upset Nandor would be. It’s such a three sixty from the beginning of the series. The found family vibes really made me want to cry in the best way.

(But since I am a huge nandermo shipper I saved my Nandor points for last because I’m gonna dive in DEEP)

I knew that we wouldn’t get a love confession this season, I believe that Guillermo will either be turned into a vampire in a last ditch effort to save his life (hopefully by Nandor)

Or he’ll eventually change his mind and ask Nandor again to be turned and I think if he were to ask again (after everything that’s happened) I think Nandor would do it if he believed Guillermo was sure.

Guillermo did mention to Nandor at the fake ceremony that he really still wanted to be a vampire. (So who knows I wanna keep hope alive)

But overall, I loved this season.

We got a rare peak behind the curtain at Nandor.

He not only deeply cares for Guillermo and can’t imagine losing him but he also knew all along that Guillermo was not ready to be a vampire.

(Remember that scene in s3 where Nandor tells Guillermo that vampirism is a curse? And that he cared too much about him to do that to him?)

The fact that Nandor memorized Guillermo’s letter to him when they first met just speaks volumes about how much he actually loves Guillermo.

Nandor has grown so much this season, it was so refreshing to see. I mean all those self help books really paid off. Cause, not only did he set his own hurt feelings aside and forgave Guillermo despite how important loyalty and honor are to him but

he also didn’t act impulsively when it came to Guillermo transitioning. He let Guillermo experience vampirism and observed his reactions and emotions before stepping in.

(I hope we continue to see more character growth like this and that hopefully in s6 we finally get some romantic plot for these two because fuck I’m in too deep to quit this show/ ship lol)

[darkshrimpemotions]

"Nandor doesn't ever apologize to Guillermo or show him any appreciation"

Nandor in season 1: I am sorry for the way I treated you tonight. I appreciate you, I really do.

Nandor in season 2: You're a great familiar.

Nandor in season 3: Will you do me the honor of accompanying me on my journey around the world?

Nandor in season 4: That's my fucking guy!

"Nandor pretends not to care about Guillermo especially in front of other people"

Nandor in season 2: (to Celeste) Be kind to Guillermo. (to Guillermo) I have been very unhappy since you left. (to Nadja, Laszlo, and Colin Robinson) I drove him away, didn't I? (to a theatre full of vampire high society including council members) You know, when you care about someone, and they just walk out the door...

Nandor in season 4: (to all the vampires in the Night Market) My closest companion of thirteen years!

Nandor in season 5: (to Baron Afanas) He was not just a familiar! He was my bodyguard. He was the best man at my wedding. He was my friend. (to the camera crew) Am I doing this to impress Guillermo? ...Yes.

"Nandor doesn't stick up for Guillermo"

Nandor in season 1: (to Nadja) He is helping! (to Laszlo) He's trying to finish it, Laszlo. (to Guillermo when he says Nadja and Laszlo pushing him around is not a big deal) No, it is a big deal. (to the council) *confesses to a crime he didn't commit and nearly dies to save Guillermo's life*

Nandor in season 2: *pulls zombie Topher off Guillermo and saves his life again*

Nandor in season 3: *convinces the rest of the house not to kill Guillermo* (to Laszlo, Nadja, and Colin Robinson) Guillermo is no longer a familiar. So just make him feel like he's part of the team!

Nandor in season 5: *makes all the other vampires give Guillermo a birthday dinner* *literally gets dragged on the ground trying to hold Baron Afanas back from killing Guillermo*

"Nandor was never really going to turn Guillermo"

Nandor in season 2: Explicitly promises to make Guillermo a vampire someday

Nandor in season 3: Has the most romantic turning scenario imaginable ready at the drop of a hat

Nandor in season 5: Guillermo, I'm sorry. Eventually, of course, I will definitely be turning you into a vampire when the time is right. *knows exactly why Guillermo's transformation is stalled* *knows exactly how to complete Guillermo's transformation* *knows Guillermo will need help with his first feeding and bonks a guy on the head for him* *has worried about how Guillermo would adjust to being a vampire and thought about how he would fix it if that was the case*

[hereticpriest]

Masterlist

MDNI

Series

Mercy

Rating: Explicit 18+

Relationship: Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader

To begin with, some warnings about this story: A/B/O Dynamics, Female Alpha, Male Omega, Some chapters may involve messing with the whole 'alphas are always dom and omegas are always sub' because I think nuance exists even in A/B/O dynamics, Fucking with the timeline (this is a blend of Canon, Legends, and original lore), Minimal use of Y/N (Explained in the first chapter), Reader is an alien species of my own creation and thus has a physical description, Familial bonds explored heavily, Clone rights explored heavily, Violence is more graphic than canon-typical however any graphic descriptions will be noted, AFAB reader, Not beta-read so I apologize for any mistakes.

Read on AO3

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight - Part Nine - Part Nine Point Five - Part Ten -

Miniseries

The Typist - Laszlo Kreizler and his Bitey Wife

Bite - Laszlo Kreizler x reader ft odaxelagnia

Chew - Laszlo Kreizler x reader ft odaxelagnia, prequel to Bite

Swallow - Laszlo Kreizler x reader ft odaxelagnia, prequel to Bite and sequel to Chew

Gulp - Laszlo Kreizler x reader ft lactation and mommy kink, sequel to Swallow

Alpha Mine - Laszlo Kreizler x reader ft Omegaverse, AU to The Typist series

Bokeh - Niki Lauda and his Photographer Wife (Mouse)

Muse - Niki Lauda x photographer!reader ft soft femdom and bondage and breeding

What Happens in Ibiza - Niki Lauda x photographer!reader x James Hunt ft threesomes, double penetration and anal

Life and Death - Niki Lauda x photograhper!reader x James Hunt ft heavy hurt/comfort and mild petplay

Brûlée - Dirk Brûlée and his Single Mama

Sriracha - Dirk Brûlée x single mom!reader ft sex toys/sybian

Red Carpet - Dirk Brûlée x single mom!reader ft breeding

Victory - Helmut Zemo and his Super Soldier

Pyrrhic - Baron Helmut Zemo x Reader ft 14k of HYDRA being the worst and Helmut Zemo being a consent king

Clutch - Helmut Zemo x Reader ft daddy kink, Hydra hunting and impact play

Oneshots

The Bath - Baron Helmut Zemo x Reader ft cockwarming

Ctrl and Power - Ernst Schmidt x Reader ft rough sex and secret relationships

Ganache - Tony Balerdi x Original Male Character ft food play and body worship

Requests and Prompts

Reader likes to come up behind Zemo and kiss or bite him

Roman Sionis fucking reader in his club and being a show off about it (and also he's a total switch)

Roman Sionis making female reader cockwarm him during a gang meeting

Obi-Wan Kenobi noticing female reader's tattoos after sex and pausing to enjoy them

[mothguillotine]

Hey Siri, Can Vampires Get Cucked?

"So it didn't go as well as I had hoped it would," you tell the camera thinking about the fact that Oscar ran away from you a week ago, "I was really hoping that I would be able to get Oscar to understand but now I'm realizing that it's possible that hypnosis was probably a better option and that knocking him out and kidnapping him was aggressive."

"The one good thing about the whole situation is that Nandor has finally started to warm up to me," you say, "he has actually spoken to me everyday. Actually I wouldn't say warming up to me is the correct term. I honestly have no idea what changed after Oscar left the other day." When you finish up your interview with the crew you return to your bedroom to do some reading.

Down stairs though Nadja is sat in front of the camera. She looks exasperated and when she speaks its present in her voice as well.

"I have been trying to get Nandor to grow some balls and ask her out but I have yet to have any success," she tells the camera, "I have watched Nandor follow her around for the last two weeks like a lost little puppy. I am sick of it."

"So I have devised a plan to get him to admit that he wants her," she says deviously, "Both of them have yet to truly talk and this will fix that. Of course Laszlo has a different approach."

"My idea is to shove them both in a room until something is either sucked, fucked, or cucked." Laszlo says as he sits down next to his wife.

"Cucked?" Nadja asks, "Why would this end up in cuck?"

"I mean you never know what could happen in there." Laszlo says looking suggestively into the camera while Nadja makes a face behind him.

"Well, we decided to mix our ideas together," Nadja says, moving the conversation forward, "We will lock them in a room together until Nandor confesses."

"Yes, and if it results in someone getting sucked, fucked, or cuck-" Laszlo starts to say until Nadja cuts him off.

"Laszlo!" Nadja yells at her husband, "This is about Nandor and his feelings. Not about you."

"Yes, I'm sorry my love," Laszlo apologizes to her but when they go to leave he turns back to the camera when Nadja is out of earshot and says, "If it results in anything sexual I will be a most willing participant."

_________________________________________

A little while later while you are reading you hear your name being called by Nadja.

"Nadja?" you call out.

"In here!" she yells. When you find her she is in Nandor's bedroom.

"Hey, what's up?" you ask her, " and why are we in Nandor's room?"

"One second sweetie," she says to you, "I will be right back."

You sit down on the chair in front of Nandor's coffin and for about ten minutes you wait until you hear someone in the hall outside the door. The door is quickly opened and Nandor is shoved in. As fast as the door opens its closed the next second and when Nandor rushes to open the door it doesn't budge.

"Laszlo!" he yells, "Open this door right now!"

When he doesn't get a response he starts yelling for Guillermo. You can hear nothing through the door though.

"Nandor?" you ask, "What's going on?"

Nandor turns around to look at you and immediately starts banging on the door again yelling for Laszlo to let him out.

"Just get it over with then I will let you out!" Laszlo yells through the door.

Nandor knew exactly what he was talking about. A few days ago Nandor had confided in Laszlo about how he found you beautiful and how badly he wanted you. In all honesty it reminded Laszlo of himself falling in love with Nadja. That's why he had forced this confrontation.

You on the other hand had no idea about what any of this meant. While you definitely didn't mind being trapped in Nandor's room with him you were confused. A few days ago Nadja had confronted you about what you felt towards Nandor and in all honesty since he started talking to you, you have developed a bit of a crush on him.

Nadja had pressed and pressed until you had admitted it to her and you made her swear not to tell anyone, which, to your knowledge she had kept. What you and Nandor don't know is that they had been conspiring to get their friends together.

"So, uh what was that all about?" you ask Nandor.

"You know Laszlo, he is my best friend but he is not the smartest." he says and laughs awkwardly.

"Nandor, what did he mean to get it over with?" you ask, you are honestly a bit worried that Nadja had told Laszlo and in turn he had told Nandor that you like him.

"Nothing," Nandor says, "He meant absolutely nothing."

"Nandor, whatever it is you can tell me." you tell him, Nandor turns from the door and faces you.

"I- its nothing." he tells you.

"Well it's obviously something or else we wouldn't be locked in here." you tell him.

"It's nothing," Nandor insists, "stop doing that."

"Stop doing what?" you ask him.

"Looking at me like that," he says frustratedly, "I can't deal with it."

"Okay, I am very lost." you tell him, "How am I looking at you?"

"You- nevermind," Nandor says, returning to banging on the door.

"Nandor!" you yell at him and when he doesn't turn to face you, you march forward and turn him around to face you, "Tell me."

You both stand still, this is the closest to him you've been since the first time you met. He looks down at you and a split second later he is kissing you. It surprises you for a second but once you get into it you are kissing him back, the kiss is sweet and short. When you both finally break apart you can't help but smile.

"Is that it?" you ask him.

"What?" Nandor asks, still a bit out of it.

"You just wanted to kiss me?" you ask, "That's it?"

"Well I wouldn't say I just wanted to kiss you but yes." Nandor says looking down at you.

"Do you wanna do it again?" you ask him and before you know it you are kissing again, this time though more passionately than before. His hands find your waist and you bring one of your hands up to his face. You both break away for a moment then resume your activities. One of Nandor's hands is making their way up the back of your shirt.

"Do you wanna-" You start to ask Nandor.

"Yes," He tells you.

"You don't even know what I was going to say?" you tell him smiling.

"Whatever it is. I want to do it." he tells you.

"Really?" you ask him, "Just like that?"

"Just like what?" he asks you confused.

"Nevermind, I was just gonna ask if-" You start to say but are interrupted by Laszlo.

"Nadja is starting to get what the humans refer to as 'hangry'," Laszlo says through the door, "We must leave now or she will become violent."

"Okay, Laszlo we will be right there." Nandor says, "I shall talk with you later, my sunshine."

_________________________________________

You are currently sitting down in front of the camera and honestly you have no idea what to say. Oscar hasn't returned any of your texts or calls and the whole situation with Nandor you still haven't talked about with him yet.

"The last week has been pretty crazy," you finally started, "I mean I don't even honestly know where to start but I'm starting to get the hang of the vampire thing. I hypnotized for the first time yesterday night, some security guard stumbled across us while we fed."

After you and Nandor had been freed from his room you had both been unable to speak with each other about what happened. As soon as you had left Nadja stole you to make sure you looked fabulous for your first official hunt. For the last two weeks Guillermo had brought you humans to feed on and now you were actually going to attempt to get one for yourself.

"We decided to go out by the bars and get any drunks who we stumbled upon," you tell the camera, "I wasn't told though that if you drink the blood of someone who is intoxicated that you also feel the effects. When I was still alive I was notorious at being a lightweight. Unfortunately, that carried over to my vampire life. If I was still able to be bruised my legs would definitely be covered in them."

You could honestly barely remember the night prior after you had all drank two humans. The security guard had happened early enough where you could remember it but a lot is missing.

Nadja and Laszlo had yet to leave their room and you haven't seen Nandor either. You were anxious that you may have come on too strong but you also knew that he did feel the same way. So it just honestly confused you. When you are dismissed by the crew you head to your bedroom.

Down the hall Nandor had tried on most of his clothes and still had not found the perfect outfit. Guillermo had been helping him try on and rate different outfits but after Nandor had tried on the same shirt and 3 slightly different pairs of pants he resigned himself to waiting till his master was ready.

"I honestly have no idea what is going on with him." Guillermo whispers into the camera.

"Ta-Da!" Nador says and Guillermo turns to look at him, "What do you think?"

"Wonderful Master," Guillermo says as Nandor spins to give him a 360° of the outfit, Guillermo turns to face the camera again and with a straight face says, "that is the very first outfit he tried on."

_________________________________________

You, apparently in your drunkness, had repeatedly texted Oscar apologizing over and over. It definitely wasn't the most embarrassing thing you have ever done while intoxicated, but it is definitely up there. For a while you lay on your bed staring up at the ceiling until you hear a knock at your door.

Nandor is standing there when you open the door with a bouquet of flowers. If you weren't confused before you are definitely confused now.

"What is this for?" you ask him and take the flowers from his hands.

"Well I read that bringing flowers to a potential mate is a good gift so I made Guillermo get you some," he tells you, "I hope you like them."

"Oh, Nandor, this is very sweet," you tell him, "Thank you."

"Oh it's nothing," he tells you, "I hope you like them."

"You asked me that already." you tell him smiling.

"Oh, well, bye." Nandor says quickly and leaves. You watch him walk down the hall and look back at the crew, confused, who is filming from the other way.

_________________________________________

"I have put a plan into motion," Nandor says to the camera, "mostly to get Laszlo off my back about my 'feelings' but I believe I have finally found the vampire I want to spend my life with."

You have been getting gifts from Nandor everyday for the past two weeks. At first it started off with simple gifts that anyone could find at a store but then it became more outrageous.

Three days ago he presented you with a gorgeous necklace and the next day he gave you a pair of earrings. Both days you had told him that you didn't need gifts from him but he had insisted.

In all honesty it was uncomfortable to accept the gifts he gave you, mostly because you had no way of getting him anything of the same standard. You loved that he apparently wanted to buy you presents but at some point it had to stop.

Today, as you expected, was no different. Except this time he brought you a bigger box than you had ever gotten before. It was about the same size as a small trunk and when you opened it you found a gorgeous dress, not too dissimilar from one of Nadjas.

"What is this?" you ask him while picking up the dress gently.

"I bought you a dress," he tells you, "I had Guillermo set it all up. He made sure the dress was the right size."

"Nandor, I don't know what to say," you tell him, "Thank you but I don't think I can expect this."

"Why not?" he asks you, "Do you not like the color?"

"No it's gorgeous but I-," you stop and think, "Nandor I really love all the gifts but you can't keep spending money on me."

"Why not?" Nandor asks and he looks kind of offended.

"Because you can't keep spending money on me." you tell him, "Honestly I really do love the gifts but you don't have to do that to impress me."

"I just like giving you things," he says, "seeing you happy makes me happy."

"If you want me to be happy then why don't we spend more time together?" you ask him.

"What would we do?" Nador asks you.

"Whatever we want. We could watch a movie or we could go read or something else. I don't know, whatever you want to do." you tell him.

"Can I kiss you?" he asks and you smile.

"If you want to," you tell him and he goes for it.

His hands find your face right away and you sink even deeper into the kiss. Your hand finds its way into his hair. When you both pull away you realize that you are still standing in your doorway.

"Do you want to come in?" you ask him.

"Yes." Nandor says simply.

When you drag him in the room you slam the door in the faces of the camera crew. As soon as he's in your room you resume kissing again.

This time though it's different, you both know what's coming. His hands start at your waist but slowly make their way up and under your shirt.

"Do you want me to take it off?" you ask him and instead of answering you he just rips it off. As soon as your bra is on full display he gets distracted by kissing your newly accessible skin.

"Nandor?" you ask him, "Do you want me?"

"More than anything, my sunshine." he answers you and the way he looks at you makes you want to melt.

You return to kissing each other and he picks you up to bring you over to your bed. When he sets you down you realize how much more clothing he is wearing compared to you.

"You are wearing too many clothes," you tell him and watch as he takes off the intricate top. When he is done you pull him down on the bed and kiss him again. Nandor goes straight to your bra hooks and takes it off. He pulls away to pay attention to your breasts.

"You are beautiful," he tells you and then kisses down your neck and chest til he gets to your tits. He pushes you down against your bed and starts sucking on your nipple.

"You are really good at this," you tell him and when he switches to the other side, "fuck."

"I have been a vampire since long before this country was found," he tells you.

"So what you are saying is that you have been around the block?" you tease him.

"The block?" he asks you, "I have flown around it."

"It means- you know what nevermind," you tell him, "more important things at hand than this."

You grab the back of his head and bring him down to kiss you. One of his hands starts playing with the hem of your pants while the other cups your left tit. You get the hint and lift yourself up to take off your pants, but before you can move to get them off Nandor does. He takes not just your jeans off but your underwear as well.

Then he dives in and licks along your folds. The shock of him on you has you pulling away until he wraps his arms around your legs and pulls you impossibly closer. Your hands find his hair and you wrap your fingers in it and when you look down at Nandor he starts to suck on your clit.

"fuck," you moan, "don't stop."

Nandor looks at you with his eyes and removes one of his arms from your legs. You suddenly feel two of Nandor's fingers pressing into you. You throw your head back against the bed and moan loudly. When he speeds up his actions you know it's only a matter of time until you come.

"fuck, Nan-nandor, I'm gonna-," you tell him until you feel a third finger inside you and you know it's over.

A wave of spasms run over you and you feel yourself grow wetter than before. Nandor continues to ravish you through your orgasm which makes it really hard to stop a second one from building.

"Nandor," you beg, "fuck me please."

He removes himself from you for a second and says "One more." then he continues to work you towards your second orgasm. This one comes quicker than the one before but it is just as intense. Nandor removes his fingers from you and lips them clean.

When he kisses you you can taste yourself on his tongue. You start trying to pull off his pants and when he stands up off the bed to do so you are greeted with his erect dick.

Around the house you had of course heard all about how he had a massive penis but it still surprised you to know that he was even bigger than you thought. You move to lick the pre-cum of the tip but when you do he moves away.

"Later," he tells you, "I want to fuck you first." He drags your hips to the edge of your bed and looks at you.

You nod and pull him in to kiss you. When your lips meet he starts into you. While he pushes into you the reason he wanted to have you ready becomes obvious, he is massive. Once he is fully seated inside of you he waits a moment. When he pulls away from your lips and starts moving. Slowly.

For a bit you appreciate that he is trying to make sure that you are comfortable but you want him to move.

"Nandor, faster," you tell him, "please."

"Whatever you want my sunshine." he tells you and starts to move faster than before.

You can't help but let out a moan especially when he starts to go even faster. When let out an especially loud one he groans. You start to feel an orgasm approach when Nandors fingers find your clit. He continues to pound into you and move his fingers over the sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Nandor!" you yell when you hit your breaking point and dig your nails into his biceps.

Nandors thirsts become more and more sloppy and you know he is close. You can feel yourself pulsing around him and soon enough he spills into you. When he is done he collapses atop you.

You both lay like this for a minute until you feel Nandor go to move out of you. When he does you feel the mess gather between your legs. He goes to grab a tissue from your nightstand and cleans you up.

After he throws it away he picks you up and moves you to lay on the bed properly. It surprises you for a second but let him do it. He moves to the other side of the bed and joins you in laying down.

His arm snakes around you and pulls you closer to him. You melt into him and feel yourself start to drift off.

<Previous Part/Next Part>

Masterlist

[noforkingclue]

No Questions Asked (Laszlo Kreizler x reader) Chapter 22

Warnings: mentions of period typical misogyny

No Questions Asked tag list: @direbatattck

You laid in the comfortable bed looking up at the ceiling. You had tried to sit up but the pain in your side was a sharp reminder to be careful. You had never felt as useless as you currently did. While this wasn’t the first time you had been injured, far from it in fact, this was probably the most serious wound you had received. You were also going to have to deal with the consequences of your secret being found out. You closed your eyes and tried to think of a good reason for your crossdressing but none came to mind.

Oh well.

The truth it was going to have to be.

You looked over sharply when someone knocked on the door. When you didn’t answer the person knocked again only slightly louder.

“And what were you going to do if I was asleep?” you asked, “keep on knocking until I woke up or would you have left me alone.”

The door opened a crack and you glanced over as Sara entered the room. She held an armful of clothes and you wrinkled your nose at them.

“I want my old clothes back.” you said

“They’re covered in blood.”

“I don’t care.”

“Right.”

Sara grimaced and marched further into the room. You sat up, hissing in pain, and pulled the sheets up against your chest. Bandages were wrapped around it but you still wanted some modesty around someone who was a virtual stranger. Sara knew ‘Doc’, she didn’t know Y/n.

“There’s hot water,” Sara said, snapping you out of your thoughts, “get yourself cleaned up. We’ll be waiting for you downstairs.”

“And they know?” you asked

Sara gave you a disappointed look and you just rolled your eyes. You knew that John and Kreizler knew but a part of you, a very small part, hoped that they didn’t. You let out the breath you hadn’t realised you had been holding when Sara finally left the room. You waited for a minute, just to make sure you weren’t going to be interrupted, before finally slipping out of the bed. You winced and held your side as you slowly shuffled over to the screen that Sara had gestured to.

You let out a sigh as you slowly sunk into the hot water. Fuck, you couldn’t remember the last time you had a hot bath. You were far too used to cleaning yourself in cold water. This was a luxury you really shouldn’t get used to. Soft beds, warm baths and probably good and rich food. All things that you were now so close to and yet was so far out of your reach.

This still wasn’t your world.

You were just visiting and on the whim of those who occupied it.

You could be tossed out into the mud and blood and shit at any moment and they would get on with their lives.

You only got out of the water when it had turned cold, grabbing a towel. You wrinkled your nose at the clothes Sara had provided. You had been in disguise for so long, you couldn’t remember the last time you wore a skirt let alone a dress. You threw it to the side, trying to ignore how nice the material felt, and turned to the wardrobe in the room.

Right, time to find something more suitable to your tastes.

You grinned when you found an old shirt. It was slightly too big but that didn’t matter. It was clean and you could still make it work. You had started doing up the buttons when you heard someone else knocking at the door.

“You can come in.” you called

You had been expecting Sara but to your surprise it was Kreizler who opened the door. The two of you stared awkwardly at each other for a moment before he turned his back. You just rolled your eyes.

“My apologies,” he said, “I didn’t realise you were changing.”

“I didn’t realise you were such a prude,” you said as you continue to look through the drawers, “would you be reacting like this if I was a man? Are there any trousers in here?”

“I thought-”

“No you didn’t,” you turned around and put your hands on your hips as you glared at him, “now trousers. Unless,” you smirked and walked closer towards him, “you enjoy seeing me like this. Half naked and in,” you looked about, “a room in your house.”

“I was merely looking out for your health.”

“By putting me to bed.”

“That was just one aspect.”

You walked closer to him until you were standing directly in front of Kreizler.

“And now I’m half naked in front of you,” you said quietly, “most men wouldn’t be so… honourable.”

You made direct eye contact with Kreizler and paused. You had never seen that look on his face before. His eyes had gone dark and he slowly raised his hands to your shoulders. You knew you should pull away, to avoid getting too close, but you didn’t want to.

“I’m not another project for you to study,” you said, “I did what I had to do to survive in my world. My world, not yours. Now, are we going to continue our investigation?”

Kreizler held your gaze for a second before smiling and nodding.

“We’ll be waiting for you downstairs.” he said before turning and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him

You let out a sigh of relief before collapsing back onto the bed. You closed your eyes before sitting up straight.

“Damn.” you said, hitting the mattress

He didn’t give you any trousers.

Bastard.

[lfthinkerwrites]

fireworks - author's choice ❣️

(Went for a different use of the term lol. Hope you enjoy!)

Dr. Arkham sighed. “Harvey, we’ve talked about the language. Before we continue the session, please apologize to Edward for what you said about his mother.”

From his place in the so-called ‘friendship circle’ between Jonathan and Waylon, Edward shrugged, “That’s not necessary, Dr. It’s been nearly thirty years since I’ve seen the woman. For all I know, she could be a syphilitic whore.”

Joker cackled and Pamela made a disgusted noise. Dr. Arkham shook his head. “Edward, please. This group therapy session is meant to foster a positive relationship in Arkham. We don’t want a repeat of what happened in the cafeteria yesterday.”

“We don’t?” Joker asked. “Aren’t we all glad that Jervis stabbed Laszlo with a sharpened spork?”

“You still want us to think Jervis did that?” Jonathan drawled.

“Well he did have the spork in his pocket.” Joker let out an exaggerated gasp. “Wait! Are you trying to imply that he was framed, Spooky? By who?”

“No one’s implying anything Joker.” Personally, Arkham agreed that Jervis didn’t do it, but he didn’t care enough to get the little bastard out of solitary. “Let’s move on. I’d like everyone here to say something positive about someone. Joker, we’ll start with you. Say something positive and keep it appropriate please.”

Joker grinned. “I know something positive! I found out that if you hit Robin in the spleen with a crowbar, he squeaks like a dog’s chew toy!”

Arkham wiped a hand down his face and willed himself not to cry. “I said to keep it appropriate, Joker.” A loud laugh was his only response. Arkham squeezed his eyes shut, internally counted to ten, then turned his gaze to Waylon. “Would you like to say something positive, Waylon?”

Waylon rubbed his chin with a scaly hand. “It can’t be about eating people?”

Arkham resisted the urge to throw his writing pad at Waylon’s face. He had a shock collar on and there were armed guards just outside, but why risk it? “No Waylon, it can’t be about eating people.”

Waylon nodded. “Ok. I have something positive to say about Jervis.”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah. I’m happy that he’s in solitary and I don’t have to listen to him whine about Alice!”

Joker cackled again, as did Edward, Pamela, and even Arnold. Arkham took a deep breath. “Fine, Waylon. That’s nice. That’s very nice. Now, does anyone else have anything positive they want to say?” Edward’s hand shot up. “For the love of God, anyone other than Edward?”

Joker clicked his tongue. “Uh, uh, uh, Dr. Arkham. Remember, positivity!”

Arkham was positively sure he was about to storm out of the room, call Belle Reve and have every single one of these degenerates join Harley down south. “Fine. Ok. What do you have to say, Edward?”

Edward lowered his hand and smiled. “I’d just like to say that I really do appreciate my time in Arkham. Whenever I’m here and interact with you all, I’m reassured that I am indeed, the most brilliant criminal mind in all of Gotham.”

Harvey jumped up and threw his chair at Edward, who yelped and jumped into Jonathan’s lap to avoid it. Waylon caught the chair and threw it back, sending it flying over Harvey’s head. It hit the wall with a crash. Joker threw his head back and laughed.

“Get off me!” Jonathan shouted, shoving Edward to the floor.

“Asshole!” Edward shouted back.

“Narcissistic megalomaniac!”

“Inbred hick!”

“High school dropout!”

Edward gasped. “Jon! You promised never to tell anyone about that!”

Pamela laughed. “All that talk about being a genius, and you couldn’t even finish high school? Pathetic.”

Arkham agreed, but he needed to at least attempt to get things under control, or else the guards would come in and…actually, wait. Fuck these people. The guards could brutalize them as much as they wanted. Edward was up on his feet now and screaming in Jonathan’s face, and Jonathan was screaming right back. Waylon, Harvey, Pamela, and Joker seemed content to watch the show, Joker chiming in with his own commentary. Arnold just kept nervously watching the door.

Dr. Arkham really, really hated his job.

[inmyhorrorsera]

S5E9 & S5E10 thoughts

Well, I liked it!

The biggest loser here is Episode 9 because all my thoughts are so occupied by the finale that I can't say much about the previous episode which wasn't even bad. So just three quick things:

Finally I get some good fucking food (The Guide content).

"I'm… going…to kill you… Guillermo" gave me CHILLS.

Guidja real.

Now, to Episode 10:

Didn't notice the previous episode how feral Nandor was filmed, his face all darkened except for a beam of light on his furious eyes, good and classic vampire shit!

Nadja Detective Policeman visiting Guillermo in that outfit😩

Wow, Guillermo treating Derek bad after all he did for him really make the point across that he's a shitty person.

There's something so 😙👌 about Nandor going back to Panera, always love a full circle moment.

I don't care about Patton Oswald as a comedian or person due some disgusting shit he pulled years ago, so sadly I couldn't enjoy his scenes with Nandor that much. I loved that after the whole conversation he still killed him tho. I read someone in the tags paralleling this scene to Guillermo and Meg in S3E2, and I fully agree with that interpretation.

Laszlo helping Guillermo and apologizing…😭 He loves him! I would love to see more of how Laszlo feels about his "frustrations" (his innability to help Guillermo, the impotency of seeing Colin grow up and not remember him). That's something that should be explored better next season imo.

Him trying to have a serious conversation but keep getting distracted by the porn is me trying to watch this show as a dumb comedy but getting distracted by the nandermo of it all.

All the vampires visiting him with dumb excuses was so cute. I wish I never see those creatures ever again tho.

Ahhhh Nandor calling Guillermo from his mother in law mom's house was some psycho shit. Also it remind me a bit of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when Spike visits Buffy's mom just to taunt her. Imagine Nandor pulling this shit:

(Silvia immediately stakes him of course).

"My friend, Patton Oswalt, he passed away". The solemn way he says it as if he wasn't the culprit 😭.

The moment of Guillermo putting the stake on Nandor's neck was an explicit sex scene for me and for everyone with good taste.

On the opposite side, Nandor helping Guillermo with the red cape is SO SOFT, it's all about being equals this time.

The Djinn… oof… as someone who was begging for his appearance since the beginning of the season, this stunt left me cold… sorry but everything that starts with "it happened off screen" it's bad writing. It's giving "Daenerys kind of forgot…" level of bad.

Didn't like that suddenly Nandor is smarter than the others (specially if we come from an episode when Laszlo called him 'a fuckin idiot' for not getting the Guide reveal).

I already mentioned this in a post I made last night, but I'll repeat it verbatim here, because I stand by it:

I don't believe FOR A SECOND that Laszlo didn't try to feed Guillermo human blood 🤔 Remember when Nadja on s1 went on an entire mission to help Jenna to complete her transformation? (hey everybody, remember Jenna?) How Guillermo 'all my life I dreamed of being a vampire' did not know that piece of lore??

"Guillermo can't kill people" Umm whoever decided to go on this direction, I recommend them this show on FX called What we do in the shadows it's very good! (when consistent).

I…. don't trust that "Guillermo is not cut to be a vampire" stuff… sounds like retcon… BUT! I love the "Guillermo is not cut to be a vampire YET, specially if he isnt sired by Nandor" interpretation.

From the beginning I had this hunch that Guillermo's longing for a family and community (I'm not saying he dislikes his bio family, but obviously he grow up distant from them, probably for being queer and feeling like "an outsider") was a reason for being so desperate to become a vampire. Now that he has the family (bio AND chosen) and the community, it's his time to think if he STILL wants to be vampire or not (and he said at the fake ceremony that he still wants it 😌).

Lmao Guillermo's beard... that thing... didn't look like it was growing from Harvey's face.

🗣️HE 🗣️KEPT 🗣️THE 🗣️GLASSES!!!

More Derek! And with better make up than that ashy talcum powder nightmare from Episode 1!! WTF they got rid of another character of color again??!! Benedict Wong what are you doing here???!!! Yay??????

I really like that Topher is a "functional" zombie in comparison with his state in S2E1, it makes sense with the zombies we saw on the original movie.

Still weird that we end the episode and season here, with Derek happy ending?

HOT take but I like that it didn't end on a cliffhanger, considering that we don't know the state of the show post strikes yet AND after s4 I don't trust this people with cliffhangers ever again lol.

Now that the season is finished I came to realize Nadja's entire arc AGAIN was a big 'ol nothing, huh? The hex, her Antipaxos found family, the little stunt as a teacher, literal "throw at the wall and see what it sticks". I'm sorry but I'll repeat: WWDITS learn how to write women challenge.

Excited to see how Guillermo and Nandor's relationship will develop from now on, I know some people are frustrated but as someone who is used to slow burns being SLOW this is my shit. I joke a lot about the pairing but also I understand that this is the shit&farts show first, nandermo nation second (unlike some people that appears they only consume and rate media depending on how much kissy kissy is on the screen).

From 1 to 10, I'll give this season a 7. Not that good as my god tier seasons (S2 is a 9, S3 is a 10), but not so bad as S4.

What I want next season:

Guillermo NEEDS to be a Bad Bitch again: slaying vampires like the Van Helsing he is, being gay af, not being scared to sass out Nandor, etc.

Laszlo and Colin NEED to have a real talk.

Consistency.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEARN HOW TO WRITE FOR NADJA I'M ON MY KNEES AT THIS POINT!!!

[lorelodge]

♛ — also laszlo & nadja

Who’s more likely to find who wearing their clothes?: Nadja wears his coats & shirts but Laszlo will wear her hair extensions and use some of her beauty products... which aren't strictly clothes but I think it's cute so.

Who enunciates hand holding?: Nadja, but only by a small margin. Truth is they both like to hold the others hand. They want each other close.

Who likes having their hair washed by who?: Laszlo has spent 300+ years learning how to take care of Nadja's hair and help with with her hairdo's. Yes, this includes washing. He'll often do it because he enjoys it and loves her hair, but they're disgustingly affectionate so usually Nadja will wash his hair after.

Who likes to slow dance?: Neither have the patience to slow dance very often. Laszlo enjoys it a little & is more familiar with formal dancing. He's taught Nadja the basics but they both prefer to freestyle.

Muse that’s more likely to fall asleep with their head in the others lap?: Nadja. & Laszlo purrs every time it happens.

Muse that does all the cuddling in a blanket fort?: Nandor. Nadja. Lol.

Who hogs most of the covers at night?: .............Nadja. It's secretly why he suggested separate coffins.

Muse who nuzzles the others shoulder to get them to give them a head rub?: Laszlo.

How do they share a desert? Two forks or one?: Two forks and two deserts. Listen, they love each other but there are limits. Sharing chocolate cake is one of them.

Who gets jealous more easily?: They're not perfect. Both are capable of being jealous, but Nadja is much more obvious about hers.

Who gets angered more easily?: umm...idk

How do they go to sleep at night?: In canon it's two separate coffins because if they didn't they would spend all day & night fucking until they expired from starvation.

Who gets the most shoulder rubs?: Laszlo.

How often do they fight?: Not often. I mean, don't get me wrong. Laszlo & Nadja piss each other off. If so they're prolonged. Taking anywhere from a few hours to a week to sort out. This is partially because they will pause an argument to have angry sex. Genuine fights where they both dig their heels into the ground and are obtuse about communication were more common when they were newlyweds but are fairly rare these days. In general, they were never common. Sometimes they manufacture arguments just for the makeup sex.

What are there arguments/fights like?: Um... it depends. Were feelings hurt? They've been married for 300+ years so bickering is a staple of the relationship. But it rarely escalates. When it does, Nadja tends to "ignore" him. She makes Laszlo sleep in the basement and pretends like her husband is just another piece of furniture. The only problem with her method is Laszlo can 100% outlast her in the ignoring game. When Laszlo is upset he tends to be very moody & cranky. He shuts down communication and puts on his Sad Man pants.

Who is more likely to throw things in fights?: Nadja. She throws anything from paper weights to Laszlo himself.

How do they make it up to each other/apologize after an argument?: Nadja is one of the only people Laszlo will apologize to. He starts with "I'm sorry" and then, when Nadja is ready to forgive him, he showers her in affection & praise. Nadja's methods are much simpler. She will fuck the sad out of him. It has a 10/10 success rate.

Do they have nicknames for each other?: To quote rosey "bear - bull - lion - tiger - rhinoceros - buffalo - stallion - dragon - ostrich - gorilla - monkey ( distinct class from gorilla ) - armadillo," are ones that Nadja has for Laszlo.

Laszlo's are a bit more typical including "my darling, my love, my darling wife."

Caring for each other while ill, how does the other muse go about it?: Who’s more likely to be patching the others wound?: They have super human healing. But it's still Nadja, somehow. Laszlo is prone to forgetting to feed, he leaves random shit lying around to be tripped over, etc. He's just... not always the best at caring for himself.

Muse that says ‘I told you so’, after they come home from the beach and other muse is burnt to a crisp while whining how bad it hurts for not listening and putting on sunblock after the other muse repeatedly told them they’d get burnt?: .... I mean to his credit. He neither told Nadja of his intention to go to the beach nor complained about the horrendous sunburn after. Lol. But it's totally Laszlo.

Your otp has a newborn baby, who gets up in the middle of the night when he/she cries?: Sure as fuck isn't Nadja. If Guillermo isn't there than Laszlo will do it.

Your muse’s of the otp reaction to finding the others crying about something? And how do they make them feel better?: Immediate concern and inquiring as to what's wrong and then figuring out how he can make her feel better. Whether that's by slaying a beastly boyfriend (Gregor) or giving her the moon. Above all else, Laszlo wants Nadja to be happy. His lady wife crying simply isn't acceptable.

What would they be like as parents?: Horrible. Lol. Listen, I love Dadszlo and vodka aunt Nadja, but they are not equipped to be parents (and that's okay!). If they did become parents, regardless of their readiness Laszlo would enjoy being a stay at home dad (once the kids were capable of forming sentences and fine motor function). Nadja would (probably) love the kid(s) but she's very busy being a girl boss. She'll go to the occasional basketball game and scheme to get her kid into the best schools. But when it comes to changing diapers and packing lunches that would be all up to Laszlo... or Guillermo. Probably Guillermo.

What would they have been like as childhood sweethearts?: I think they would be inseparable. Two scrappy kids who constantly get into trouble. Laszlo's family would probably try to keep them apart because of Nadja's status. While they may play a part in Laszlo's initial perception of her, I think he is bound to fall in love with her crazy ass. His father may send his to boarding school sooner and Laszlo would write to her every day. He's more determined to do well in school with varying success, but as with canon his sexuality eventually gets him expelled. From there I think he'd come back feeling very low of himself and gravitate toward Nadja's arms. They'd probably marry very young, against his parents wishes.

Who enunciates taking a bath together?: Laszlo.

Who likes who playing with their hair?: Laszlo loves Nadja's hair but she's actually more likely to play with his unprompted.

The place they mostly likely accidentally fall asleep together?: Either the sofa, watching reality TV or naked on the rug by the fire after serious love making.

[megaawkwardhuman]

OK SO I wrote most of this starting at 2 am and stopping at like 3 also 4 am after listening to numbers by temporex for the fifth time (I was inspired by the overall vibe of the song link to the song if you wanna check it out) and originally it was going to be small bummer fic written only for myself where Guillermo did get turned by Derek and he goes back but nothing changes around him but I got a little too carried away so now it’s about (roughly) that and Nandor wishing for Guillermo to return after he left and didn’t return after becoming a vampire.

disclaimer: I'm currently clinging onto a free grammarly account for dear life and I tried my best to edit the nonsense I wrote instead of sleeping so if at any point this sounds weird I apologize! 

and with all of that out of the way I now give you Just Alright:

Guillermo sat in the same old bed he’s been sleeping in for over a decade. He thought when Derek turned him things would change but no not much changed when it came to the way he was treated. Things did change overall sure he was gone for weeks before returning to the mansion but in a way they haven’t. What it all boiled down to was the fact that nobody really noticed the change. Normally Guillermo chalked it up to them being assholes but the reason they didn’t care or notice this time around was due to the fact that they had gotten themselves busy while he was gone.

Laszlo tried to go back to his old ways but after the loss of baby Colin he found himself going over to sean’s place to distance himself from the energy vampire he help raise. Whenever anyone asks him about it he brushes him off. Due to him being away from the house most of the time, he didn’t even know Guillermo was back let alone now a vampire for a while.

Colin Robinson still doesn’t remember being a freak child at all and so he went back into looking into energy vampires just now without the help of Laszlo. He tried to get Laszlo’s help at first but after a couple of fuck offs he gave up. He still treated Guillermo the way he did before mainly to annoy him. 

Nadja had a lot on her plate. At first, it was having to deal with what to do now that the nightclub dream was basically dead then it was getting to the council building back to the way it was before to trying to get Laszlo to stop hiding away in the neighbor's house and actually getting him to sit down and talk about how he was feeling. With all of that, she didn’t seem to care he was a vampire now. I mean it was understandable she was doing a lot but she still treated him like a familiar. He wasn’t even her familiar to begin with yet he was still left to do all the hard labor for her. After some protesting and reminding her that he’s an equal now for the tenth time she got a familiar to do her bidding instead.

The only one who cared at all about the change was his ex-master Nandor. As for why well that’s a really long story. Let’s just say he’s the reason why he ended up back there.

Guillermo thought about going back at first. It was his original plan but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He knew he would have to eventually to get his stuff back but he wanted to fend for himself. He knew he could go out on his own he didn’t need any big strong vampires to fight for him he was Guillermo: by blood a vampire killer, an ex-familiar, an ex-bodyguard, and now a vampire. He knew how to kill he could live alone and they wouldn’t care if he was gone. If they did someone would have found him by now and begged him to come back.

But in the blink of an eye after a couple of weeks of trying to live on is own only to crash at Derek’s place half of the time to just living with Derek (Derek needed a friend anyway), he found himself face to face with the entrance of the place he wasted over a decade of his life in. He doesn’t remember walking back just suddenly being at the door.

“What the fuck why am I back here?” he asked himself. He tried to turn back but he couldn’t. No like he physically couldn’t turn back. Despite not wanting to be there he knocked the door. 

“Come in the door is open.” He heard a voice he really didn’t want to hear say. He could also hear a few footsteps on the other side along with a few small sniffles thanks to vampire hearing. He opened the door and got a few steps in before getting tackled into a hug by Nandor. Guillermo was not only surprised but still had no idea what on earth was happening.

“What the fuck is going on?” Guillermo says extremely confused. He looked around over the vampire’s shoulder as Nandor cried into his. As he was searching he found the Djinn standing there with his notebook and pen not too far from them. Well, that explains it. Guillermo didn’t have time to be upset yet since he has to deal with the sobbing vampire hugging him.

Wait Nandor was hugging him willingly? Guillermo tried his best to pinch himself. “Ow.” well he wasn’t dreaming so yeah he WAS hugging him and he was hugging him REALLY tightly. If he was still human this would have most likely killed him either due to suffocation or Nandor accidentally breaking something really important. 

“Oh, Guillermo where have you been? I was so worried about you I- I missed you so much.” as he talked he cried harder and harder. Guillermo was honestly surprised to see him in such a state. He can’t recall seeing him express his emotions or saying how he felt ever let alone see him cry this hard. He was HUGGING HIM for fuck’s sake. 

“Master I like this and all but this is starting to hurt a lot” he knew he didn’t need to call him that but he still did out of habit. Plus he didn’t know if calling him Nandor would piss him off so it was better to be safe for now.

“I just missed you so much and if I hug you tight enough you won’t be able to leave again.”

Guillermo would be lying if he said that didn’t make him feel at least a little bit like shit. But in his defense, he thought Nandor would be too busy reading his books or whatever to notice his absence. Sure he wouldn’t be gone forever since he has all eternity to go back to the house to say hi or to bump into Nandor while out hunting and small talk about his times as his familiar. He didn’t expect Nandor to actually be hurt by this. He knew he should have known better but he did what he did anyway without taking Nandor actually noticing into consideration.

“You didn’t even leave a note. I thought you were out on one of your silly human errands, but when you didn’t return I thought you were hurt or dead.”

“Well, I’m here now.”

“And that’s all that matters.” Nandor slowly let go of the hug.

Guillermo wanted to say his goodbyes and get out as fast as he can but he knew he would feel like shit if he left knowing it would hurt Nandor this much he made his way inside. 

After Nandor calmed down a bit they ended up walking to Nandor’s room to talk. Looking around his room and the house overall while thankfully repaired the house was still a mess. Bodies were all over the place, candles melted all the way down leaving puddles of wax, and every other surface was dusty. It reminded him of when he first returned to the house after trying to leave this life behind for the first time. 

When he entered Nandor’s room it was messier than the rest of the house but considering the state he was in when he entered Guillermo could make an educated guess as to why so he knew he couldn’t judge.

“Sorry for the mess. When I noticed you were gone for longer than usual at first I tried to ignore it but I just couldn’t. I tore this room apart trying to see if you hid a letter or anything that would tell me where you went. It was honestly stupid of me to think you would hide something like that since you didn’t hide the letter you left behind last time.”

“I really should have told you why I left before…” should he tell the truth?

“Before what?” he looked at him confused then he saw his fangs. “Oh…”

“I paid Derek to turn me.” 

Silence so thick you could feel it fill the room. It was Nandor who broke it with tears slowly running down his face again as he spoke.

 “Why?”

“Look I know you view vampirism as a curse and I knew you didn’t want to turn me because of that and I know you’re not the biggest fan of change so by turning this way you wouldn’t have to-”

“Why did you not come back?” 

Nandor’s words felt like a stake to the heart. Guillermo didn’t know how to respond so he froze. Any word he could think of saying vanished like he did weeks before abruptly and without saying goodbye. If he didn’t feel like shit before he felt like the worst person on planet earth now.

“Master I-”

“DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT!” 

“LOOK I’M SORRY OK!?”

“You think that’s going to make up for you abandoning me!?”

“I didn’t plan to stay away I was going to come back.”

“When Guillermo fucking when?”

Silence flooded the room again. This time It was Guillermo who ended it.

“Nandor look I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t intend to leave permanently I was going to come back and change everything for the better but couldn’t bring myself to go back I… I’m so sorry. If I knew I would be out for as long as I have I would have said goodbye.” In the middle of his sentence, Guillermo caught Nandor’s tears and began to cry too. “If I were you I wouldn’t forgive me.” 

Nandor went up to him and cupped his right cheek with his hand wiping away a tear. “Oh my sweet sweet Guillermo I knew you wanted it so bad but I didn’t turn you not because being a vampire is a curse. I didn’t turn you cause then you would have left. I know once you were one you would have no purpose here anymore. it was selfish sure but fuck I just couldn’t stand the thought of you leaving and I thought if I kept you busy you wouldn’t leave. Making excuses to keep you as a human, promoting you to bodyguard when your life was at risk, making turning you into a long trip all of it was to keep you by my side for as long as I can. When you were shipped off to England by Laszlo and I ended up traveling alone I was left to think about why I did this. Why I wanted you to stay for so long and when I realized why I didn’t want to think about it. So when we all came back as I was helping you out after you fell into the water filled basement I used finding someone to marry to cover up what I found out” it clicked in Guillermo’s head what he was getting at but he let him continue. “I was hoping every day that you would stop me from going through with the wedding, I made every task hard in hopes it would stop you and, when everyone was objecting I was hoping you would be in that line. I wanted you to stop me causes…I love you Guillermo so so much. I just couldn’t bring myself to fully accept it until you left.” 

Guillermo nuzzled into Nandor’s hand as he began to cry harder “I love you too.”

Nandor pulled him into a kiss.

They could get angry at each other for what they had done another time. For now, all they wanted to do was hug and be glad that they could express how they feel for hopefully not the last time.

And it wasn’t time flew by and they slowly vented out their feelings to each other. They had their scheduled yelling match about what they had both done to each other once all the tears were fully over a few days later. But what had started as them fighting with their tongues figuratively turned into fighting with their tongues literally. Needless to say, they forgave each other quickly after that. As for what they were now they settled on boyfriends. it felt weird at first to say but after a while, the word felt great coming out of their mouths.

Not much has changed really looking back as he sat on his old bed. Laszlo was still horny, Colin was still annoying and Nadja would kill him if he boiled her down into one word even if it was just in his head. But as he sees Nandor take a box of his stuff up to their new room he's glad he at least made one change. Considering he has all eternity to help the others for now he’ll take this as a win. 

“Guillermo, what are you doing?”

“Oh just thinking that’s all.” 

“You know I was doing some thinking too and I was thinking maybe I can give you my last wish.”

“How thought full.” he gave him a peck on the cheek. “You know I think I already know what I’m going to wish for.”

“May I ask what that wish might be?”

“A coffin big and wide enough for the two of us,” Guillermo said with the biggest grin on his face.

[therelentless]

ooc;; yes nandor, but i'm still not over laszlo giving guillermo a head start so he can run and hide before nandor goes after him to try and kill him, and also laszlo apologizing to guillermo for not being able to help him. so many fucking emotions.

[pencilscratchins]

im very excited for season 4 [ID in alt]

[parttimesarah]

Does anyone else ever think about what else Nandor and Guillermo talked about on the drive back to the vampire residence after the kidnapping in 3x8?

I can’t help but think that Guillermo was close to tears for the entirety of the drive, rubbing his eyes and lying, saying that he had garlic powder in them. I think there was shouting and pleading from Nandor as he tried to command Guillermo to return him to his human community. I think Guillermo lied and said “Don’t try to hypnotize me when I’m driving, it’s dangerous!” To which Nandor would have replied “As I am no longer a vampire I can no longer use vampire hypnosis on people. That was just regular human commanding.”

I think they sat in the car for a while when they arrived back home. I think Guillermo apologized as he backed the car up to the basement door. As Guillermo reached for a silver rope to tie around Nandor’s waist to lead him to the cage, I think Nandor put his hands up, looked at his familiar-turned-bodyguard, and said “That’s not necessary” as he walked into the cage on his own. I think Guillermo tried one more time to get Nandor to see things his way, to just come upstairs and sit down with him, Laszlo, Nadja, and Colin Robinson so that they could all figure this out together. And I think Nandor stared back at Guillermo and said nothing.

Right after Guillermo hit the lights and slammed the basement door shut, I think Nandor sat on the bed and whispered “Fucking heartguard.”

[over-active-imagination]

Dinner Manners

(Not my Gif)

Synopsis: One of Sarah's friends has a run in with an old flame and a terrible dinner guest.

Warnings: SMUT, Mentioned minor character death, swearing, Fem!reader, Victorian Ideals.

A/N: I have been working on this for about three months beacuse I kept getting writers block or distracted. So please enjoy! I also haven't edited it..please forgive my mistakes it any lmfao

Masterlist

The soft piano lilted through the dinning room at Delmonico's as Y/n entered the building holding onto her friend Sarah's arm. Miss Howard had practically begged Y/n to dinner with her and John. Citing that they both missed her a great deal wanting to know how all about her time abroad in Paris and London.

That is what they said at least.

Then she saw another man sitting across from John with only two seats available. One next to Mr Moore and the other next to the bearded stranger. Upon their arrival both men stand up quickly John pulling out the chair for Sarah leaving the Y/n and the other man awkwardly staring at the empty one.

"Well this is a surprise" Y/n says quickly in a polite tone moving to take the seat before it was pulled out. She hated having things done for her.

"Mmm I would agree. Feels quite a bit like an ambush" The man to the left of her says. This causes Y/n to straighten up more, agitated by the fact he sounded so stiff.

"Yes, well since you called it what is is," John hums a bit and natures to the pair. "My dear I wanted to introduce you to Doctor Laszlo Kriezler a close friend of mine. Laszlo this is Miss Y/n Y/l/n a dear friend of Sarah's who has been travelling abroad with her family." John smiles brightly.

Both Laszlo and Y/n knew this was intended to be a blind set up the moment Sara and John snickered to each other. Deciding to just play along for the time being the younger woman looked up at Doctor Kreizler.

"Its a pleasure to meet you Doctor, Be it that our friends have taken it upon themselves to force this meeting" She hums not attempting to hide her annoyance.

"I wish I could say the same" Laszlo says simply causing every part to look at him in shock.

"Laszlo!" John and Sara say together shocked at his bluntness, sure they knew Kreizler wasn't the most well mannered man. But usually in public he could restrain himself.

"What? You two decide to throw both Myself and this...woman...into a very uncomfortable situation. How do I know you didn't just pay for her to be here just so you didn't feel bad for having me as a third party." He hisses causes the Woman to his left too snort.

"And the same could be said for you Doctor" She snaps back just as quick.

"That is a bold response coming from a woman in a very low cut dress" Laszlo says flatly and that was the last twist of the knife the young lady needed to hear.

"With all due respect Doctor...go fuck yourself" Y/n says and stands throwing a glass of wine into his face before storming out of the restaurant.

Laszlo however stayed seated picking up a napkin and wiping his face.

"Well she certainly makes an impression" He grumbles causing both of his friends to sign exasperated.

"As do you, you idiot" Sara huffs "I expect that you will go an apologize to her or I will never speak to you again"

"Thats a bit dramatic even for you Miss Howard." This earns a glare from John.

"You know what Laszlo, I share Miss Y/l/n's last sentiment. And be thankful I haven't received my wine yet"

With that Miss Howard rose to her feet and quickly followed her friends path. Wanting to find her and ease the anger that had bubbled up from the unfortunate meeting. Leaving John and Laszlo together for a less than comfortable dinner.

The young woman often made sure every engagement she went to was void of the handsome Hungarian man since that night. Usually she was pretty safe as he Laszlo rarely made public appearances, for example the party she had just come back from was void of the man right up until she made it home.

Teetering a bit on her heels that where all the rage back in Paris, she opened the door humming a soft tune. It was honestly a rather dull affair but the champagne was good and flowing.

"Oh...Miss...you're home. A gentleman is here to see you" The housekeeper, Ms. Fitzwilliam coos at her happily as Y/n kicks off her shoes jumping at the sudden voice glancing up.

After registering who it was the woman smiled a bit and nodded at her.

"Is there? How wonderful! Please make sure they are aware I want nothing to do with them as you send them away." She airily flourishing a hand as she move gracefully through the hallway towards the the sitting room off the main foyer.

"Umm..are you sure Miss? He is quite dashing and-"

"I don't care if he is the bloody king of England! Send. Him. Away."

Ignoring the way her housekeeper followed spluttering behind her as she looked up making eye contact with Laszlo who had been sitting in one of the high-backed armchairs a class of Port in his hand.

"I see your colourfully language is still the same" he says taking a sip of his drink. Laszlo would be lying if he said he wasn't bit stunned at how..disheveled the woman looked. She looked like a very different person then the one who he had observed at dinner.

Strands of her hair had fallen from the elaborate braid she had, the pieces framing her face. Slowly his eyes gravitated lower to her chest for a moment watching it heave under the effort of the tight corset that lay beneath the dark green lower cut dress.

Damn those Parisian designers.

"Well the statement stands, although I regret comparing you to the King of England"

"That is an inappropriate way to treat a guest" He replies gruffly, tightening his hand on the cane as she rolled her eyes.

"Right, of course. As I should always hold myself up to your high esteem right Doctor? Like how you practically called me a harlot. In public! Before rushing out of dinner leaving me ALONE." Y/n snaps and throws her shoes down onto the ground.

"You are acting like the children I work with" He retorts and realizes perhaps that was a mis-step as her glossy shoe comes hurling at his head. "Verdammter Scheiß!"

"Ms. Fitz, Show this pompous asshole out of our lovely home" Y/n snaps and moves to leave gasping when she feels his hand grip her upper arm.

"You will not speak to me that way. Ms. Fitz if you wouldn't mind giving us the room" Kriezler says in an authoritative tone. Fitz looking between both her mistress and the Doctor.

"It's fine, I can handle myself. Goodnight Ms Fitzwilliam" The woman says her voice still strong but Laszlo could sense her wavering. The older housekeeper nodded a faint smile on her lips as she moved to shut the parlour door.

"Do you enjoy making a fool of yourself?" Laszlo whispers harshly into her ear. "Do you enjoy making me mad? Testing my patience? Pushing me over and over again? Making me lie to our friends? To Dear Ms Fitz"

His tone made her shiver and bite her lip. Slowly allowing herself to press back into his body.

"No one asked you to lie to Sara and John. Just like no one asked you to humiliate me” She snaps reminding herself why she was so angry with him.

“We both know that is an inaccurate statement, as you have on many occasions asked me to humiliate you” Laszlos voice makes her shiver.

The pair had met each other at a seminar her father was holding on new ideas for child medicine. Laszlo had been more open minded then. Not so set in his ways often finding himself in discourse with the younger woman, who would often twist a knife just to get a rise out of him. He really believed that a beautiful relationship could blossom between them…until her father died.

Then she had went away. No words where exchanged, no goodbyes given. Just one day he walked by the home and the doors where closed and drapes hung over all the furnishings to keep the dust away.

Something that caused Laszlo a great deal of pain, Something he had never mentioned. Even though they made a point to send letters to one another it just wasn't the same. So when he caught a glimpse of her walking into Delmonico's he become a swirl of emotions, most he had never let himself feel. Until that moment their eyes locked again.

"You mean like how you left me alone Schatz." He husked and instantly regret and guilt caused her to relinquish the upper hand to him.

"Las I didn't-" She went to say something but found her words caught in her throat.

"How could you know! You left! You left and never told me that you planed to go." Laszlo snaps pushing her against the wall looking down at her, his eyes full of emotion.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't know I-it would hurt you so much" She says in earnest reaching up and gently touching his cheek. Trying her best to quell the beast brewing beneath the surface.

Laszlo did not reply leaning in and kissing her fiercely. He didn't want to speak about it any more. He just wanted to feel her again, have her close to him. He reveals in the soft moan that escapes her lips and the little bit of writhing she does attempting to get control.

"Stop it. We have been apart for too long and I have to remind you who is in control" He gravels out he roughly pushes her down onto the chaise lounge before kneeling between her legs.

"Pull up your skirts" Laszlo commands and nervously the girl does so, gasping as he lounges forwards licking a stripe along her thigh to her core.

It had been a long time since either of them did this. With anyone and Y/n was shuttering with delight as the man hadn’t lost his touch. A whine escapes from her lips and it sounded like a perfect melody to him.

A warmth started spreading throughout the woman as he head feel back with a soft thud against the head of the chaise. Just when she thought that warmth was going to over take her Laszlo pulled back. Another whine came from the back of her throat but before another word could exit her lips, Kriezler pushed into her warm welcoming heat.

"Oh Doctor!" She exclaims and he is hovering over her.

Originally he was going to draw this out, make her beg and plead for him. Be a touch mean to her in order to prove how much she needed him. But in the end he was over taken by his own primal urges to be one with her. All those other things could wait until later. Right now he just wanted to feel her, hold her and chase after their mutual pleasure.

He listened to all the soft whines and cooing that passed her lips. A smile gracing her usual scowl and kissed down the column of her throat.

"Thats it my little dove, Mein Schatz" He groans and Heiress looked up at him with so much unshared emotion both of them knew what they wanted to say but could never find the right moment.

"Laz...I-" She starts and he kisses her swallowing the admission.

"I know you don't have to tell me" He whispers and starts to speed up watching her come apart for him. Just like she used to, her nails digging into the flesh of his shoulders a high pitched sound escaping her chest.

The Doctor soon followed after her panting and resting his forehead on her chest. His eyes closed as a tear drips down his checks. It had been so long since he had been with anyone let alone the one woman he had been in love with. Laszlo instantly melted has her fingers carded into his hair as the both start to breath in tandem.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to hurt you" Y/n says softly after a moment of silence.

"I know" He answers slowly looking up as she wipes his cheeks.

"I was just so angry" She sniffles "And that wasn't fair to you"

"Listen we can work all of this out later. Right now I just want to hold you, will you let me?" He asks in earnest and she nods whining softly as he pulls out and moves to create room for him.

"I have and always will love you Laszlo" She whispers "Even if you call me a whore"

"And Ill always love you, even if you call me the King of England" He hums chucking when she smacks his chest.

"I told you I didn't mean to call you that" The woman laughs and he smiles down at her kissing her once again both thankful to be back in one another arms.

[sistertinysips]

Right but now all that's in my head is Ava turning into a golden retriever and people being freaked out af, because this cute retriever is literally the cutest dog ever and it's so sweet but it just won't stop saying 'fuck' and 'fucking' every 4 other words. And Bea turning into a bat ala Laszlo Cravensworth just yelling Bat!. And conversely, this dark critter of the night is the MOST polite animal ever: 'oh I'm so terribly sorry my canine companion has a foul vocabulary I know, I apologize m'am have a most pleasant evening we'll be on our way please excuse us'

Werewolf AU, because...and maybe some vampire

(Ava is trying, ok)

[silly-little-guy-and-co]

This is very long but I need to distract myself from episode 9

Good Omens meets What we do in the Shadows!

*In SoHo*

Laszlo: Over there my darling! A worthy looking bookstore!

Nadja: Fucking finally, one that doesn’t look like a tourist trap for Americans, let’s go.

Nandor: You must go in first Guillermo, you know how it is-

Guillermo: Yes Nandor, I know

*Walks in*

Guillermo: Hello? Anyone here? HOLYSHITSNAKE

Nandor: Come on Guillermo, man up, it’s just a serpent! Ah, shopkeep. Sorry about our little friend here.

Nadja: *Looks at Guillermo backed against a wall then back at Aziraphale* Yes he’s very much a pansy, now could we come in?

Aziraphale: Well I suppose you can. My apologies about Anthony here, he gets a bit tetchy around customers.

Guillermo: hE’S CRAWLING ON MY SHOES DiostesalveMarialleneresdegraciaelSeñores contigo-

Nandor: Guillermo stop speaking in tongues, it is giving me a headache! Not even the serpent likes it!

Laszlo: It’s no problem old chap, now, do you have any material on parenting? Perhaps a book on parenting a young energy vampire?

Aziraphale: I do have a small section on vampires in the back, follow me- yes hello Anthony, how about you go upstairs and change my dear.

Nadja: I found something my love! “Young Cryptids and Their Care” and there’s a whole chapter on energy vampires!

Laszlo: We’ll take that book then, good sir, what is your price point? Do you accept card? Cash? Ancient coins?

Aziraphale: The cash register is broken so I suppose your ancient coins will have to do. 

Nandor: Here they are, I only have 19 of them so I hope that will be sufficient.

Crowley: Angel, who are these people and why does the small one have holy wa- hold on, those are coins from-

Aziraphale: Al Qolnidar, this is most certainly enough, thank you. Wait, my dear did you say holy water?!

Guillermo: Oh yeah, I have some in my coat just in case of uh… demons. Yep. Demons.

Aziraphale: Oh my, look at the time! Well I’m sorry but I should have closed up hours ago, I hope you all enjoy the book!

*30 minutes later*

Crowley: Angel, do you think those people were, y’know,

Aziraphale: Yes dear, vampires, I’m quite aware.