#Kind of in a cool and relatable way tbh like if I could prevent the death of a kid by trapping them in childhood forever maybe i would | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

realcube · 4 years ago

Text

haikyuu!! boys when you come out to them as bisexual 🏳️‍🌈

characters: yamaguchi, tsukishima & kenma

part two!!

tw// fem!reader, fluff, coming out,

Tadashi Yamaguchi

ok so hot-take but i think yamaguchi is straight

(or maybe bi but with a heavy preference for females)

but rn he identifies as straight

but like..he’s so supportive of the lgbtq+ community

like tsukishima gives off ‘gay but homophobic’ energy

but yamaguchi has ‘straight but a strong ally’ energy

and this is hugely bc while tsukishima fell down the alt-right pipeline, yamaguchi was going through that ‘women 😍🤩💕’ phase which i think every WLW has went through at one point

like while tsukishima was watching ‘sjw get rekt compliation #125′ , yamaguchi was watching those heart-wrenching lgbtq+ short films on youtube

and on tiktok his fyp was probably originally cottagecore (bc it’s his ideal lifestyle ofc) and somehow he is now kinda on sapphic cottagecore tiktok

like not to fetishize them or anything, just bc he’s awed by how in love they are and that’s kinda what he wants for himself

(also he uses them as date inspo for you and him DFBZVAYUL)

anyway this was just my lengthened explanation as to why - unbeknownst to you or anyone - he was an ally to the lgbtq+ community (if not apart of it)

you didn’t really expect him to be disgusted or unsupportive of it tbh - i mean, it’s tadashi ffs! 💞 you know he’d never break up with you or judge you for something like that, but that didn’t stop you from being slightly nervous

but he was ten times more nervous when you texted him, asking for him to meet you by the local park’s fountain bc you had something important to tell him

mans thought you were dying ngl

he almost burst out crying on the walk to the park bc he imagined a whole scenario where he was sitting next to your fkn death-bed

but you seemed healthy enough so his next assumption was that you were going to break-up with him

so when he approached you by the water fountain and you noticed that his eyes were glossy and his hair was damp with sweat, you were quite worried for him now

‘tadashi! are you okay?! your eyes are all puffy and red! do you have hay fever?’

yamaguchi rapidly shook his head, hastily escorting you to a nearby park bench so you could sit down beside him, ‘it’s nothing; what is it that you want to tell me?’

‘oh’ you choked, quickly averting your gaze from his kind, damp eyes. ‘it’s- um, i don’t-’ you cut yourself off, mentally cursing at yourself as you had practised what you were going to say to him hundreds of times before he arrived yet you still couldn’t stammer it out

yamaguchi was hanging on each word you uttered, but once he noticed that you were struggling, he placed his hands upon yours and shot you a reassuring smile

you let out a sigh in hopes to relieve your nerves while rehearsing what you were gonna say one more time in your head before blurting it out,

‘babe, erm, i’ve been questioning for a while and i’ve concluded that i’m bi - as in bisexual; and i just thought i’d tell you bec--’

you genuinely thought that you might have to explain to yamaguchi what bisexual means so IMAGINE your surprise when he simply replies, ‘you’re bisexual? is that all you wanted to tell me?’ and once you hum in agreement, he lets out a heave of euphoric relief

‘(y/n), please don’t make fun of me but on the way here, i was almost gonna cry because i thought you were going to tell me something horrible.’ he clutched his chest, breathing heavily - usually he’d never admit to something like that but right now, he felt that it was appropriate

you snickered at his rather exaggerated actions, ‘awh, baby. i’m sorry.’ a pout formed on your lips as you soothingly rubbed his back.

yamaguchi rapidly shook his head before turning the tables and rubbing your back instead, ‘nonono, it’s fine! i’m fine!- and i’m glad you’re fine too.’ he stumbled, hastily placing a kiss on your cheek before whispering in your ear, ‘i’m so proud of you. congratulations!’

although you couldn’t see his face, you could tell from his light voice that he was beaming

after that, he buried his nose into the crook of you neck and snaked his arms around your waist to pull you into a hug, which you both stayed in for a good 5 minutes

Kei Tsukishima

let’s be honest, tsukki’s definitely part of the lgbtq+ community but in deep denial

like if you ask him, he’s not even questioning his gender or sexuality, he’s just ✨straight ✨

so when you just randomly joked one day ‘oi, four-eyes, turn this shit off. she’s too much for my lil’ bi heart to handle.’ while y’all were watching a movie and you instinctively made an off-hand comment about how gorgeous the female lead was

upon realising what you just said, you turned to him with the most awkward grin plastered on your face, ‘tsukki, i’m bisexual, by the way.’

‘no shit, sherlock.’ he hissed at your use of that little nickname

you turned your head to look at him as you blinked rapidly, finally mentally processing his response

while he did the exact same thing simultaneously, dramatically turning his head to meet your gaze before muttering, ‘was that you coming out?’

your eyes widened as you realised, then nodded slowly

tsukishima smirked, shifting his attention back onto the movie, ‘congrats.’ he spoke in a mellow voice, a slight sense of amiability laced into his tone

‘thanks-’

‘have you told your parents yet?’ he quirked a brow, his eyes remaining glued to the screen

you hesitated before shaking your head, ‘no.’

‘what about your friends?’

‘yeah, i came out to my friend group a few months ago - along with yamaguchi.’

tsukishima couldn’t help but frown at the fact you came out to yamaguchi before him but honestly, he couldn’t blame you - he was aware that his bitchy exterior probably discouraged you from telling him sooner, so he was just glad that you had the confidence to tell him eventually

‘so how long have you known that you’re, like, y’know, bi?’ he inquired further

‘a while.’ you hummed, biting your bottom lip, internally so relieved that he wasn’t being too awkward or weird about it

‘good for you.’ he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, not a hint of sarcasm or irony detected in his voice for a change, ‘oh, and good luck with coming out to your parents’

‘thank you.’ you murmur, happily shifting your attention back onto the movie

tsukishima honestly doesn’t mind/care tbh

like he’s supportive and will beat a bitch up if they don’t accept you - but in general, he thinks that it’s none of his business who you love

as long as it is him (ಥ _ ಥ)

Kenma Kuzome

ok so fun story

you were both chilling in his room on a saturday, he was playing on his nintendo switch as always and you were on your phone

you had been meaning to come out to him for a while now but every time you tried, it seemed as though something happened to prevent you from doing so

for example, you tried to come out to him while y’all were chilling at the park but then a bunch of geese started terrorizing y’all and it completely ruined the mood

so you thought that now you were in his room - where there was less of an abundance of geese - it’d be a better time than any to just lift the burden that had been weighing on your chest

you were as nervous as any one would be but you kept on trying to reassure yourself that kenma would be supportive

however, he had never discussed any lgbtq+ related issues with you so you had no idea where he stood with that sort of stuff but tbh, he doesn’t give off homophobic vibes

after a while of staring at the wall and working up the courage, you finally spoke up, ‘hey, kenma. i think i might be bi.’

you mentally cursed at yourself as you didn’t ‘think’ that you are bi but rather you knew that you are bi, yet you felt the need to add that filler just in case things went sour

he perked up upon hearing this and turned to look at you, a small smile gracing his lips, ‘okay, that’s cool. congratulations.’

you couldn’t help but beam back at him, ‘thanks, babe.’ you almost whispered, gladly going back to whatever you were doing on your phone

honestly, you were happy to leave the interaction at that - i mean, his brief and calm response was satisfying beyond expected, as it was probably the least awkward way that could’ve possibly gone down

however, what happened next filled you with endless amounts of euphoria

‘oh, and (y/n).’ kenma said to grab your attention, ‘i’m bisexual.’

you did a double-take

your instincts told you to throw yourself into his arms and rave on about how proud you are that he had the courage to come out but after a moment of reflection, you had a better idea

‘okay, that’s cool. congratulations.’

kenma automatically pouted at how you used his own words against him when he was clearly expecting a hug, ‘(y/n)..’ he whined lowly, shifting his gaze back onto his game

but you were weak so ofc you pulled him into a hug as you both muttered sweet, reassuring things into each other’s ears

‘i love you so much, (y/n) no matter what.’

‘i know.’ you snickered.

‘bitch-’

‘i love you too. and i’m so proud of you for coming out - you’re so brave.’

‘aw, thanks. so are you, babe.’

‘i know’

kenma playfully nibbled at your neck for being such a clown during a sentimental moment

but anyway, you helped kenma come out so- yeah :))

417 notes · View notes

cool-island-songs · 3 years ago

Note

twenny for the ship bingo!!

Sorry this took so long! Thank you for the opportunity to sell ppl on my version of Twenny lol

I’m stubborn Creek trash, but I’m cool w/ Twenny and always at least check it out. Seems there are more (and darker) Twenny fics now bc of the drug connection between their families. I tend to prefer angsty Twenny fics where Tweek is still crazy about Craig but something’s preventing them from being together. I like fwb and platonic Twenny best, but I think it’s a rly interesting dynamic overall and am interested to see how it’s developed when romantic on one or both sides.

Kenny’s often used in fics as a vehicle to make people jealous (e.g., Stan and Craig in endgame Style and Creek fics, respectively). It seems a bit unfair to Kenny, but I read all of these nonetheless (and he often doesn’t seem to mind). I don’t entirely agree w/ fanon consensus about “slut” Kenny. That he’ll do anything for money is more of a crack at his poverty - it’s not like he wanted to blow Howard Stern. He obviously rly wants that bj from Tammy, but they’re already dating when he finds out she’s done it before. He doesn’t even take an active role there, as it only goes down after the Jonas bros main plot concludes and she proposes it. I see him as willing to accept advances, but not as forward as he’s typically portrayed in fanon.

Fanon Kenny can get pretty rapey, and tbh I hate when he’s reduced to smoking cigs and liking sex in place of an actual personality. Dad-bodded eccentric philanthropist fishing uncle Kenny is so much cooler than all that (he gets bitches bc he’s cool, he isn’t cool bc he gets bitches, kno what i mean?). Given his canonical loyalty, I don’t see him as a cheater. He just wants to be loved and feel pleasure bc he didn’t have much of anything growing up. His Mysterion persona is the closest we get to him being a “bad boy”, which is the role he’s often slotted into in fanon, but he’s much more of a protective big brother and cynical but passionate pursuer of justice than some morally ambiguous anti-hero. Kenny’s good and goofy and sweet, and that can come across clearly in Twenny fics. He also likes a sweet and forward blonde, historically (Kelly, Tammy - her highlights are blond, it counts).

Tweek's more sheltered than Kenny and also more thoroughly emotionally abused and exploited. Kenny’s neglected all around, and his parents are generally not doing great, not able to provide - but he has his ways of coping and escaping. By contrast, Tweek’s family is upper middle class, and his parents could try to be loving and supportive but seem incapable of it. Tweek’s parents also mess w/ his perception of reality considerably while Kenny’s v aware of the reality of his situation. There’s some overlap in their situations, so I find Kenny seeing Tweek as a kind of little brother or alternate version of himself compelling. There’s something to be said for the way blond boys w/ awful home lives and messy hair are periodically slotted into the same role in the series, only to recede into the background. I love them all.

Here are some fics w/ Twenny dynamics I’ve loved:

Delmareve’s unfinished multi-chapter “your princess is in another castle” (main ships Bunny and Creek, but interesting platonic Twenny w/ brief scene where Kenny comes onto Tweek and Tweek shuts down. rly well-developed, unique Tweek w/ trust issues for a reason. Not entirely gay, top Tweek, and he’s not made any less anxious for it which I like)

Flynncantation’s unfinished multi-chapter Down the Rabbit Hole (Creek-centric, Kenny just has a crush on Tweek, but I love the dynamic)

metrophobic’s unfinished multi-chapter Tweeker Nation and related oneshot I Won’t Burn Long (interesting illicit fwb Twenny situation where Kenny has some romantic feelings for Tweek, but resents his bratty immaturity and seems on the verge of being done w/ him. Lotta interesting Kenny perspective on Creek + Tweek). also a few Kinktober drabbles w/ Twenny, this one being my favorite for the sheer SP-like absurdity. I like that metrophobic’s Tweek often has hang-ups about bottoming. Wouldn’t you if your whole town decided you were a bottom at age 10???

All the scarlettshazam Twenny tho it’s been deleted (found it v sex positive, love that 4 Kenny)

towards (likely still in process) multi-chapter Because headstones are not big enough. (Tweek remembers Kenny’s deaths and struggles heavily w/ addiction. rly interesting + dark. also throwing out mb my fave creek breakup angst fic despite it having nothing to do w/ Twenny: oneshot all good things)

Tweekpuncher’s unfinished multi-chapter Slowly, Through a Vector (potentially real upsetting past noncon, but also quite funny at times, such as in platonic Cryde interactions and grp chat w/ Bebe. i recommend it bc the last chapter from Kenny’s POV gave me a diff perspective on what he might see in Tweek and was v powerful). Also love the oneshot bro dont be gay bro just gimme a little kiss on the lips PBJellie Twenny: sad sexy oneshot Black Sheep, SoT oneshot You Best Not Miss, Major Boobage-style oneshot Fantasies Come True (these Twenny dynamics generally revolve around or at least allude to the drug connection) Eerily’s oneshot Bookmarks. Just read it, this one got my ass real good

#sp twenny #tweek tweak #kenny mccormick #south park #ask meme #ask #ship bingo #discourse

24 notes · View notes

funkymbtifiction · 3 years ago

Text

hey, so i suspect to be a ne-dom (after about one year of research on functions and everything and considering like every type at least once to be my type :)) even though i do not overly relate to ne-dom stereotypes, for example i wouldn´t say i am a good brainstormer...

Lemme just stop you there and say, brainstorming isn't Ne. Anybody can brainstorm. The kind of brainstorming Ne does is conjure up lots of ideas related to whatever is INTERESTING to them. Like, if an ENP is stuck in a business meeting and doesn't care about the topic, they won't have any ideas pertaining to it. But if they sit down to write a story, a character will pop into their head, and then ideas about other characters, and conversations, and possible roles for that character to fulfill within the story... and they will follow this angle for awhile and get bored and then follow that other angle (another idea). It's a space of living inside one's ideas, following them, and discarding them if they aren't working; of constant adaptation to the abstract (non-existing) potential of their mental environment. How SPs interact with reality -- throwing themselves into it and figuring it out as they go and getting the hang of it physically -- is what NPs do on a mental level, by throwing themselves into concepts, ideas, etc. Like starting up a MBTI typing blog when you barely know anything about MBTI, as a way of learning while doing / thinking about it. *cough* *raises hand* It's "ah yes, I'll incorporate this before I've even had time to learn / study it deeper, because I get the Big Picture of it, it matters, so I'm gonna run with it." Intuition, in other words -- not needing the details to "get the gist" and assuming you can intelligently talk about it or at least BS your way through it, so people assume you know your stuff even if you don't.

But anyway, back to your ask.

(but after all they are just stereotypes, so what) and actually relate a lot to se-dom "stereotypes". For example it is said that often se-doms are quiet good at physical activities like sports and might have a natural talent to be really good at some physical activity even when they do it for the first time, because they are so aware of their environment and the current moment. And that actually is something i kinda relate to. I never got a bad grade in sports class because even at all the sports i have never done in my life before i was naturally good at and quick to figure out how it is done. I also never got any kind serious injury in my life even though i would (especially as a kid) climb onto everything that one shouldn´t climb on and jump from everything one shouldn´t jump from. Never even broke a bone, but i do know lots of people who broke a bone without even doing anything particular "dangerous". Anyway, those are mainly stereotypes so i probably should just ignore them, anyway they make me question my type frequently.

Stereotypes have a root in reality for a reason. If you are easily able to adapt to your environment skillfully using your body, you are likely Se. What's more, SPs actively enjoy doing this -- getting out there and trying things, being physical and hands on. I talk about ideas and argue about the Enneagram, my ESFP sister goes sky diving, learned to paint by buying brushes and supplies, and spent all weekend installing the landscaping she designed. ;)

What makes me think i am a ne-dom nontheless is:

- i am usually capable of seeing multiple perspectives, most easily perceivable in philosphy class to be honest. We would have regular discussions about a certain topic and everyone had a different opinion and i could usually see the point of everyones argument. The most frustrating people were those that would state something as a fact or as simply right or wrong without hearing anyone out who might have a different view on that. Sometimes it would literally be that person A would explain something 10 times and person B would still not be able to get it and would only hear what they want to hear, which actually made every argument pretty pointless and might be the main reason why i never actively participated in those discussions myself. At some point it only felt like a waste of time and energy to argue with someone who clearly doesn´t want or isn´t capable of considering any other perspective than their own

This isn't really Ne, it just means you're a perceiving dominant (not a judging dominant, aka, not IP or EJ) and indicates FiTe, with Te seeing the pointlessness of interacting with people who are unwilling to listen or change their mind. Also, very likely a 9 fix.

- my writing style (i guess), i´ll take philosophy as an example again; sometimes we had to write an essay to a certain question where we basically just had to write our opinion and arguments (similar to the regular disussions but written), and i usually would come up with 2 or 3 possible answers so i decided to cover them all and thought that way i would probably write like 3 pages or so. Well i ended up writing ten because while i was writing i suddenly realized that if i explain A i should probaly define B to make it more understandable or to be more precise, but by defining B i also have to mention C and D and that would mean that i should also include E and F and...

Low Te clarifying, adding context, and not wanting to leave out important information while not being entirely sure what "matters" the most to the project or being able to self-edit well.

- one thing i am not 100% sure about; i do like talking about ideas like lately we have been discussing getting a pool (we´ll probably never get one because they are expensive but we like the idea) but there were also a couple of obstacles too prevent that from ever happening but i was like: "yeah that would be cool" and got ideas like a slide that would start at the window of our room so we can slide directly from our room into the pool, or the idea that we could build some cave system and that would be the place where the pool would be so we wouldn´t have to "sacrifice" our entire garden for a pool.

That's a very sensory idea to have. :)

I would have rather discussed a pool again...to be fair i would have probably worried a lot more if i had to go to the appointment on my own but i don´t so i just rely on others and hope they will know what to do and tell me. (what i am not sure about here is if my disinterest in discussing what could possible happen is a se "live in the moment" thing or if it just disinterests me because its too practical and too much related to something actual?)

Drawing attention to what interests you - Fi. Sensory focus. Slight abdication of self, indicates reliance on others - maybe 9 or a 6 core?

- one last thing: i can see more si than ni inferior tbh. Example: i do not like planning a trip, like making schedules or figuring out what bus/train to take at what time and where to take. I mean i am happy to have some sort of schedule or plan but i do not like doing these myself, even though i can if i have to and sometimes i have to because i have to get somewhere on my own...

This speaks to low / inferior Te more than anything. Stress over organizing the outside world, nailing down a plan, etc.

[...] And i would assume that this might be inferior si? Also i think if i was a se-dom i probably would not be so stressed by getting on the wrong bus or probably wouldn´t be so obsessed with checking everything multiple times just in case the other 376 times i did i missed something...

You would if you were a 6w7, which you probably are.

I'd say SFP 6w7 with a 9 fix, or an ISFP 9 with a 6 fix. Something about you gives me inferior Te / ISFP vibes.

#question #mbti

24 notes · View notes

greekschist · 4 years ago

Text

episode seven

✨more dramatic music✨

we are having technical difficulties, please hold

we're good

who is u

oh shit

are we really trying this

oh shit

"now they'll all kneel before you" with you behind him??

huh, a dream

he really tried to stab a god, did he not learn from hera

okay yeah, points for zeus

well, uh, you interfered too

as dramatic as always isn't he

really?? what kind of intro-

evios is so relatable

props to alexia for being smart

such an elegant slide

shhhhh evios, shut up

"I'm never wrong" I'm trusting you,,

WHAT DID CHIRON SAY??

but honestly, I get it

KEEP WALKING ALEXIA

poor alexia

NO ALEXIA

yes!! go alexia!!

kofi hitting all the right questions

is that pan?? who??

HERONNNNNN OH MY GOD HI

heron's look at alexia made me laugh idk why

just stab him already

oh yeah let's go he deserves it

um he's dead

you can stop now

look at heron's angle here 😌

oh no

yeah,, uh,, they just went the wrong way, don't mind them

"brother?" alexia, evios, kofi in the back 👁️👄👁️

yeah seraphim's got a point

it's not a bad deal tbh

the next morning

what was that whistling animation

LETS GO EVIOS

chill the fuck out hera

OH NOOOO HERMES

YEAH APOLLO

listen, all of you are being little bitches

smh I believed in ares

also it's so funny how hermes and apollo were beaten by ares,, not only is it unrealistic but also one of the reasons why they should have athena there

NOOOO ROBOT

we could have prevented all this shit if athena was here

great

I mean, hera could have done that from the beginning but nooooo

so not only does hera want to kill zeus, she wants to kill everyone else that did nothing but breathe

what kind of motives are these

like not even something clever or anything, it's just "you cheated so not only will I kill you, I'll kill everyone else because I'm a better tyrant than you are"

we need a hera redemption arc, she was done wrong

if yoU WANTED TO MAKE HER A VILLAIN AT LEAST GIVE HER GOOD MOTIVES AND NOT BASE HER ENTIRE CHARACTER OFF OF MADNESS

listen, if athena was here not only could she diplomatically speak to hera and probably convince her to think more rationally, she could protect heron better than zeus did

and if that didn't work, she would have singlehandedly dropkicked ares's ass of a cliff, I don't care how cool he thinks his giant meat tenderizer is

the potential...

#blood of zeus spoilers #blood of zeus #boz #boz spoilers

25 notes · View notes

goattypegirl · 4 years ago

Text

Harrow the Ninth Live Read: Chapter 1-2

Poor Harrow :(

Chapter 1:

Ok back to second person! And we’re nine months pre-murder.

Is the sword actually burning or is this psychosomatic? She doesn't flinch when she pierces her hand to make the bone glove so maybe?

The muscle memory from Gideon seems to be gone. Maybe Harrow's traumatized? Understandably so tbh. And she's lowkey suicidal. Mood. Ok yeah this feels more like shock than anything supernatural. The events of Canaan House, becoming a Lyctor, being on a spaceship hospital, and unable to properly paint a skull mask... Poor Harrow.

Ok yeah being a Lyctor sounds fucking terrifying. Being aware at all times of everything around you... what a sensory nightmare.

Damn okay, Harrows being visited by the Body. Now I'm wondering if it is just a hallucination or if its something more. A part of Harrow seems to think its the latter...

"Red, and wet, and ill defined." Oh god Harrow what did you do.

Chapter 2

Knocking and waiting for permission before entering being a true sign of Divinity is sad and hilarious.

Harrow has a point. Why would necromancer demigods need swords? On the other hand, swords fuck, so.

I do wonder what life is like for the average person on Erebos. I was half thinking it was literally just the emperor and the lyctors in the First House.

Oh my god God is ghosting one of the Lyctors. "Make static noises". Slacker God is a rare character archetype but it's always so fucking funny.

And Harrow can raise eighteen thousand dead? Or is he talking about himself? Hmm...

Well thats a pretty smart way of carrying a greatsword when actually touching it makes you violently ill.

So it is trauma? I guess that explains everything being in second person; it adds a layer of depersonalization to the narration.

Wow ok being a Lyctor really sucks. Being intensely aware at all times of all the bodies on the ship...

The emperors speaking metaphorically, right? Or could we be reading a story about chronurgists now?

Yooo cryosleep! Part of me is wondering if these weren’t actually people alive 10,000 years ago who were resurrected, but frozen zygotes that have been artificially aged into people? IDK.

Oh no. These special caskets are for the cavaliers and heirs that died in Canaan House, aren’t they? Yep, yes they are. Ok. Wait, the black casket with the rose, that has Cyntherea’s body, but it’s decorated like a Ninth house? Or has Harrow already switched to thinking of herself as First House, and black is the color for both the First and Ninth Houses?

“You wanted to be relieved, but no longer recalled how that worked, glandularly speaking.” I really don’t think there’s something supernatural going on here, but. I once read someone’s worldbuilding notes on how liches worked in their D&D game, and it boiled down to liches are immortal, but all bodily functions have to be manually done. Swallowing, breathing, heart beating, cell division all had to be done manually. Their mind expanded to allow for that, but eventually all liches slip up and their body starts to fall apart. Anyway. That’s not what’s happening here, but I was reminded of it.

I want to see fanart of the Emperor, or at least his eyes, because I just cannot picture it. All I can picture is just oily black/rainbow eyes. I had this same problem reading the Lightbringer series. I do not know how eyeball anatomy works.

Bro what do you mean the cost is too great. Crackpot theory: there’s some kind of like thanergy pressure difference? And if the Emperor actually steps foot on one of the planets, the Resurrection is undone and everyone suddenly dies.

Of course he doesn’t know how to hug. Gods Who Are Fully Aware They Are Bastards is another rare, favorite trope of mine.

Okay this is a lot of science words but I’m following so far. Okay, so only humans have souls... Okay, I remember reading this in the guide at the end of Gideon the Ninth. It is really weird that planets in the Dominicus system have both death energy and life energy, for reasons I couldn’t quite put my finger on. But, planets have souls, apparently! Cool!

Being pissed that another major that you always thought was stupid would have covered this a lot earlier than you is kinda relatable lmao.

Okay, I can see where this is going, but there’s a wider scale story we’re only getting pieces of here. Necromancy and thanergy are like viruses that slowly kill a planet, literally. And the entire population has to be relocated, presumably to a new infected planet. Late stage necromancy capitalism.

Also, the Body moving Harrow’s arms for her is strikingly similar to her hallucination of Gideon at the end of the last book...

OKAY COOL. PLANET SIZED GHOSTS. RESSURECTION BEASTS. UNDERSTOOD.

GOD IS CRYING.

THEY EAT PLANETS.

LYCTORS HAVE DIED DISTRACTING THEM.

FUCK.

Okay. 3 are left. There were 9. 5 were defeated? And those were... Two, Eight, and Six. I’m with Harrow. The math does not check out.

Oh, okay, they automatically home in on the Emperor and Lyctors no matter where they are. Cool. Understood.

(Which indelible sin lmao).

Uhhhh what the fuck? So the Body has Gideon’s eyes now. That’s not good. Okay she’s talking to it now and it’s responding. “I am half a Lyctor?” “Ortus did not die for nothing?” Excuse me?

Ooooh. Okay. I think I know what’s going on. Harrow is trying to completely erase Gideon from her mind. That’s why the Emperor’s mouth ‘looked strange’ when he said Ortus. That’s why she doesn’t have the muscle memory she should have gotten from Gideon.

Poor Harrow.

EDIT: Oh my god I'm an idiot. This totally recontextualizes the Parados chapter. It might just be Harrows perspective of that chapter in the library with Gideon, but with Gideon forcibly redacted and replaced with Ortus... that would explain why the Body said it didn't happen this way.... I've connected the two dots....

EDIT THE SECOND: thinking more about the Resurrection Beasts. The Emperor said there have been other, smaller ones besides the original 9. Perhaps created during the Cohorts campaign when they converted a planet to thanergy too fast? Second, the prologue showed Harrow and other necromancers astral projecting into the River to fight one. So, maybe over the course of the book a way to kill the Resurrection Beasts is discovered? That or they're distracting it? Third, the Emperor apparently also did the Lyctor ritual, or something close to it, to attract the Resurrection Beasts. Fourth, I was kinda right! It was a side effect of the Resurrection that prevents the Emperor from returning to the Dominicus system, and it would call all the inhabitants to die. It just wouldn't be suddenly. Hopefully.

#harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth liveread #harrow the ninth spoilers #the locked tomb

7 notes · View notes

thecoleopterawithana · 5 years ago

Note

Hello, I'm the last anon you answered to. I'm sorry if I came out as defensive because it wasn't my intention. In fact I've always thought that John was bisexual until I started questioning everything. ( I'm a bisexual guy myself and I'm perfectly happy with the way I am ! ) It's just that I feel like Yoko would just say whatever she wants on John to suit her agenda. John's sexuality had always been an interesting topic and dropping something like that would gaib her publicity this is why I --

I question the authenticity of her claims. She could have lied about it just to attract attention… And I’d be disappointed because John was in fact my idol and he gave me the strength to come out as bi to my family. But there’s so many anecdotes about him being homophobic that it just makes me sad and this is why I hardly doubt that he was a bisexual man…As for the Cynthia quote I heard her say something like “ John was afraid of homosexuality just like everyone ) in a video on Youtube –

I am very conflicted because I’ve watched videos of John ( interviews etc ) and many comments said that he was very skilled at manipulating people and wasn’t as honest as he appeared to be, which is why I doubt. John had always been the rebellious type and I started thinking that he was using the bisexuality topic to shock and make people talk about it which is disappointing. Was he dropping hints that he was bi to piss off people and make publicity ? This is what I believe : (There is also -

Something he said to Alaister Taylor where he said that he was trying to spread the rumor that he was gay or bi just for fun and he told him that he would never shag a man because just the thought of it turned him off… Yet he also told him that he adored Brian so much that he would have done anything with him ( he contradict himself here. ) So yeah I didn’t want to be rude. I apologize. I think I need reassurance. Could you please analyse everything I said if u don’t mind please ? : (

Anon 2

At the very least all these years later isn’t it circumstantially suggested that John had very private gay encounters, and was uncomfortable making them public, yet wanted to hint at them so he could deal with this matter int he future? He was protecting his privacy and his ego, and perhaps wasn’t yet ready to reveal either his encounters or mixed feelings of bisexuality. His encounters have been protected by those with whom he was involved, people thameant a lot to him, no?

Anon 3

hey! by any chance, do you have knowledge of the quotes where john said “sex with girls felt like a performance after the first time” and “i was never sexually attracted to women before yoko”? i am SURE i’ve seen the first one somewhere on tumblr, though the second one is more of a quote of a quote so i’m not sure if it’s real or not dfkdjk thanks, anyway!

Anon 4

Hello! Is it true that John used to be very attracted to the drag scene in St Pauli ( I guess that was the town I read about ) and that basically the drag / gay scene made him feel comfortable and at home? Says a lot about him!

@tbhmarjj

I adore you, thank u for this blog and ur beautiful mind. i doubt johns bisexuality at times tbh considering he went to great lengths for publicity and he wanted to be an LGBT ally, be cool and outspoken and as he himself said it was trendy to be bi. but then again he was obsessed with Paul in so many ways and he was the embodiment of John’s ideal man. beautiful, talented, intellectual. I’ll be patiently awaiting ur posts exploring Paul’s views on johns sexuality.Thank u

Hello again, anon!

I want to begin by thanking you for getting back to me after I answered your ask and for clarifying where you were coming from when you wrote it. It really is quite hard to fully get the tone of a written message, especially one that is so short that you have no context to draw from to get the emotional meaning behind it. It really appeared to me when I read it that the concern was not who was saying it (Yoko) but about what was being said (John was bisexual). I can now see that was not the case and I appreciate that you’ve made that clear.

I also hope you don’t mind, but I’ve taken the opportunity to include in this answer all of the other asks I’ve been receiving regarding John’s sexuality. It’s clearly a topic of great interest in this community. So I’ll be attempting to address all the points raised here. Again, this is nothing definitive; only my personal readings of the situation as I find it at the moment.

Before I do answer, though, I’d just like everyone to take a deep breath and a step back. Let’s try to examine this topic a bit more objectively.

I understand that sex is kind of major in our society. Our notion of identity is tightly bound to our classified sexuality and gender. Sexual relationships (or amorous relationships) are seen as the epitome of human connection and the ideal everyone should be striving for. And people fundamentally want to be loved and not alone, so it makes sense that figuring out who is a potential companion (and if that companion is interested back) is such a big deal.

But despite these layers of meaning and societal pressures, we should keep in mind what sex represents, essentially, from an evolutionary point of view.

For social animals who derive pleasure from sexual stimulation, sexual intercourse is – like all the other kinds of affection – a way to build connections.

If you want to find examples in nature, just look at our ape cousins, the bonobos. The also called pygmy chimpanzee lives in a matriarchal society where sexual behaviour plays an essential role in strengthening social bonds, lowering tension and keeping the peace. Bonobos don’t discriminate between gender or age (except between mothers copulating with their own adult sons, so as to prevent cross-breeding). It’s the true “free love” society; evolution took “make love, not war” and ran with it.

Our own culture seems more similar to that of bonobos’ northern neighbours, the common chimp. Their patriarchy is more conservative regarding sexual intercourse, which is mainly used for reproduction purposes, and their power structure is based around intricate political games, where males form alliances and try to get public support in order to overthrow the ruling party.

I find it endlessly curious to look at these two species, whose physical separation by the Congo river made them diverge so starkly in their social organization, and compare them to the struggle between these same two natures that we find in our own society.

All this to say that, from a simply biological point of view, I have to agree with John and Yoko when they say that everyone must be bisexual. If sexual intercourse as a social behaviour is, inherently, all about establishing bonds and connections, the extent to which those connections are “allowed” to be built depends entirely on the hierarchal structure that same society is trying to preserve. In other words, what is classified as morally right or wrong is more reflective of the rules in place to keep that society working as it is, than it is of what is naturally present as a drive.

If your brain is primed to seek pleasure and sexual intercourse brings you pleasure independently of the partner’s gender, then the partner’s gender should be inconsequential.

But unlike bonobos, humans are kind of touchy about touching. So there are other levels of information influencing behaviour. The processes of socialization – of internalizing the norms and ideologies of society – and enculturation – by which people learn the dynamics of their surrounding culture and acquire values and norms appropriate or necessary in that culture and worldviews – are as determinant as the genetic factors influencing behaviour. In fact, this added education can be so effective in curbing your “primal instincts”, that one might forget they have them in the first place.

Thus, the concepts of gender identity and sexual orientation are a constantly shifting construct based on the various interactions between your genetic makeup and social influences.

I just think that, in order to have this discussion, it’s important to separate the various levels of it and be clear about which we are referring to.

There is the basic evolutionary drive to seek pleasure and form connections.

There is the social education about that same drive and how it is allowed to manifest itself.

And integrating all these different signals and information – various potentials which manifested as attraction – there finally is a behaviour, a choice.

And finally, there’s the external point of view of other members of society looking in and trying to discern other people’s drives and how they relate to their choices (that’s us now). The problem is, we often throw our own drives and choices into the mix, especially with regards to something as personally defining as sexual orientation.

So we have to make very clear in our minds what is the end goal here. Why are we interested in discussing this topic? Are we looking to discern as much of the truth as we can get it, objectively trying to understand these human beings? Or are we trying to confirm our own projections on them? And please, don’t take me wrong. All these are valid reasons to be interested in a subject. Often how it resonates with us, so personally, is vitally important to reaching a greater understanding about ourselves and learning how to communicate that to others.

But in the same way a piece of music can make you have a transformative emotional experience that the artist didn’t necessarily go through, it’s important to remember that our own inner-life might be affecting how we examine others. Better be mindful of what we project, lest we think are finally seeing inside another person when in fact we are only looking at our own reflection. (And honestly, I believe getting to truly know ourselves in this processes can be a hundred times more valuable than knowing the other. By learning to recognize ourselves we can better understand other people and vice-versa.)

So if it is important to you that John is bisexual, my honest opinion is that all the information can be read in a way that confirms it. We’ll hardly ever know for sure, and based on what we do know, that can certainly be the takeaway.

But if we want to objectively examine John’s sexuality, we shouldn’t bring in a confirmation bias. Meaning that we should be emotionally detached from the outcome, as long as it is as close to the truth as we can get. But this is only where I’m coming from, and I’m a bit of a scientist. It’s totally fair if you’re not in it for the same reasons. Though again, working under the assumption that you want to know my stance on it, let’s proceed.

I understand your reservations regarding Yoko as an unreliable narrator. To analyse Yoko’s motivations would be an interesting topic, but one which I will not go in at the moment as I don’t feel sufficiently informed about Yoko as a person to give an extensive examination.

But in my opinion, there is a whole lot of other information available from which to draw from other than Yoko’s statements.

I also get your and @tbhmarjj‘s concerns about John’s declarations during the 70s. But it’s the same question I posed in the previous post: Was the “bisexual chic” fad of the 1970s merely a publicity stunt for those involved? Even if it was, did it make the experimentations undertaken any less true? Were they just faking it for the press or were they finally allowed to try and be open about it?

Because I come from the biological background that places sex as a positive social interaction like any other, meaning that its purpose is to create bonds and the pleasure is our “reward” for doing it, I tend to believe that the behaviours were genuine. The drive there is real. As real as the internal constraints that would act on them as a result of societies shifting expectations and permissions. And this socialization is as determinant in the creation of sexual attraction as anything. So based on our definition of sexual orientation, all those bi rockstars of the 70s could have effectively stopped identifying as bi once the new social norm overrun their own internal drives and the previous less conservative status quo. That didn’t make them less bi when they were.

It’s funny, but in terms of gender and sexuality, nothing is real so everything is.

So yeah, I think that John could have been bisexual the second he felt he was. But because the social tide was likely to shift, it was better to also maintain a measure of deniability: it was just for show, it’s not serious, I was just taking the mickey out of you and you fell for it! Of course John was smart enough to leave space there to retract. He and Paul had mastered the art as communicators through song. They could claim them to mean everything and nothing as it suited them. As Anon 2 says, it’s a protective measure.

So I think that at some point in time, John genuinely identified as bisexual. Now whether he acted on it or not is another questioned entirely. As Anon 2 points out, there are various circumstantial accounts, but these are always tougher to verify.

I tend to believe Yoko when she says:

So did Lennon ever have sex with men?

“No, I don’t think so,” says Ono. “The beginning of the year he was killed, he said to me, ‘I could have done it, but I can’t because I just never found somebody that was that attractive.’ Both John and I were into attractiveness—you know—beauty.”

I ask what she makes of the people outside the building, the crowds still at Strawberry Fields.

Ono misunderstands, or mishears (or is simply focused on the last strand of our conversation), and continues to talk about sex.

“I don’t make anything out of it. When you’re not really interested in that sort of sex, you don’t think about it. Both John and I surprisingly were very passive people. Unless somebody made a thing out of it, if they made a move, I wouldn’t even think about it.”

— in Yoko Ono: I Still Fear John’s Killer by Tim Teeman for the Daily Beast (13 October 2015).

At least I believe he at least never “fully” did it, in the sense of full-blown anal sex. I think there might have been “milder” homosexual interactions, such as handjobs, that could be rationalized as not entirely gay (the thing with Brian in Spain being one of them.)

Regarding the drag scene in Hamburg Anon 4 was asking about, I agree that it also provides information about John. Though I think it’s mainly about his gender identity rather than his sexual orientation (though the two are invariably linked in the construct as well).

Here are some quotes about it:

With his four months’ greater experience, Sheridan was an ideal guide to the Reeperbahn’s more exotic diversions, like the Schwülen laden. Stu Sutcliffe later wrote home in amazement that the transvestites were ‘all harmless and very young’ and it was actually possible to speak to one ‘without shuddering’. Though raised amid the same homophobia as his companions, John seemed totally unshocked by St Pauli’s abundant drag scene; indeed, he often seemed actively to seek it out. ‘There was one particular club he used to like,’ Tony Sheridan remembers, ‘full of these big guys with hairy hands, deep voices—and breasts. But they used to make an effort to talk English. There was something about the place that seemed to make John feel at home.’

— In John Lennon: The Life by Philip Norman (2008).

And according to Horst Fascher (bouncer at the Indra Club and the Kaiserkeller):

It wasn’t just girls that were on offer to young english rockers. Monica’s Bar was Hamburg’s notorious transvestite club. For one or two English musicians, Monica’s was just another part of the Hamburg experience.

HORST FASCHER: One night Monica said, “Come, come and look. One of your boys is in the séparé.” “And who is it?” And she said, “One of the Beatles.” “Let me look”. She said, “Be careful. Look only sneaky-like.” But I did. I grabbed the curtain, pulled it aside and there was sitting John in… in a position with that girl, and you know. He felt really ashamed and I said, “John, don’t worry man. I did that all before.”

— In The Beatles Biggest Secrets. [Transcription is my own and I’m not too certain of it.]

Though there certainly might have been an aspect of sexual interest to it, I think John’s fascination with the drag scene was also the kinship with the queerness he felt inside himself; mainly in regards to him wanting to express his more sensitive side, which is coded as feminine in our society. So I think seeing men indulging in femininity and nonnormative behaviour resonated with him.

Also, I think it’s even more important to understand John’s relationship with sex in general, regardless of the partner.

To that end, the quote mentioned by Anon 3 is of special relevance:

When I was a kid, I wanted to shag every attractive woman I saw. I used to dream that it would be great if you could just click your fingers and they would strip off and be ready for me. I would spend most of my teenager years fantasising about having this kind of power over women. The weird thing is, when the fantasies came true they were not nearly so much fun. One of my most frequent dreams was seducing two girls together, or even a mother and a daughter. That happened in Hamburg a couple of times and the first time it was sensational. The second time it got to feel like I was giving a performance. You know how when you make love to a woman that the moment you come, you get a buzz of relief and just for a moment you don’t need anyone or anything. The more women I had, the more the buzz would turn into a horrible feeling of rejection and revulsion at what I’d been doing. As soon as I’d been with a woman, I wanted to get the hell out.

— John Lennon to Alistair Taylor (Brian Epstein’s assistant), 1965. In his autobiography With the Beatles: A Stunning Insight by The Man who was with the Band Every Step of the Way (2003).

And another important passage is in reference to Janov’s Primal Scream Therapy:

Well, his thing is to feel the pain that’s accumulated inside you ever since your childhood. […] The worst pain is that of not being wanted, of realising your parents do not need you in the way you need them. When I was a child I experienced moments of not wanting to see the ugliness, not wanting to see not being wanted. This lack of love went into my eyes and into my mind. […] Most people channel their pain into God or masturbation or some dream of making it. […] But for me at any rate it was all part of dissolving the Godtrip or father-figure trip. Facing up to reality instead of always looking for some kind of heaven.

— John Lennon, interviewed by Robin Blackburn and Tariq Ali for Red Mole (8-22 March 1971). [I really can’t stop pointing to this quote as one of the most important in order to understand John Lennon.]

As he reiterates in ‘I Found Out’ (1970): Some of you sitting there with yer cock in yer hand / Don’t get you nowhere don’t make you a man

To me, John’s pursuit of sex is, like most things in his life, essentially about filling this black-hole of emotional pain. He internalized the lack of love from his parents, which went into his eyes and mind, until he himself believed he was unlovable. This lack of self-esteem translates into a lot of pain and the need for an external solution for that pain.

The external solution is not wanting to feel so vulnerable any more. This can be achieved either by trying to seize control, by exerting it over others or having them look up to you (e.g. “fantasising about having this kind of power over women”; “some dream of making it”). Or it can be achieved by handing control over and being taken care of (e.g. “people channel their pain into God”, “I’ve seen religion from Jesus to Paul”.)

Sex as an activity can play into these various dynamics: it can be used to feel power over others, as John started out; it can be used as an escapist distraction, like a drug (e.g. “you get a buzz of relief and just for a moment you don’t need anyone or anything”); and it can be used as giving yourself over and being loved, looking to receive that which you can’t get from yourself.

As time passed and the first two solutions stopped working, I think John focused on the third: sex in the context of an emotionally close relationship as the ultimate intimacy and proof that he was loved. And because he wanted to absolve himself of responsibility, to be taken care of, his partner needed to be someone on the other end, someone who had control. In our culture, this reads as a masculine figure (e.g. “father-figure trip”).

This may be from a female, whose masculine qualities were what attracted John in the first place:

In this intense, intimate and revealing original cassette recording of a private conversation in 1969 between John Lennon and Yoko Ono, the couple speaks primarily about Yoko’s past relationships, her music and art, and their random views on sex, love, promiscuity, and homosexuality. […] [Lennon] adds that he had never met an attractive woman that had sexually aroused him to any great degree.

— Description of the 45-minute audiotape auctioned in 2009 by Alexander Autographs.

I used to say to him, ‘I think you’re a closet fag, you know.’ Because after we started to live together, John would say to me, ‘Do you know why I like you? Because you look like a bloke in drag. You’re like a mate.’

— Yoko Ono, interviewed for New York Magazine (25 May 1981).

Or the partner he was looking for could be found in the (often dominant) person he was most emotionally invested in his whole life.

All I want is you / Everything has got to be just like you want it to

And in a society that establishes that the closest two people can be, the greatest intimacy they can share, the ultimate declaration of love is to live in a monogamous amorous relationship, is it any wonder that John felt he could only believe in their relationship if they were together like that? Is it any wonder that he would doubt Paul’s affections because Paul apparently wasn’t willing to express them like that?

JOHN: It’s a plus, it’s not a minus. The plus is that your best friend, also, can hold you without… I mean, I’m not a homosexual, or we could have had a homosexual relationship and maybe that would have satisfied it, with working with other male artists. [faltering] An artist – it’s more – it’s much better to be working with another artist of the same energy, and that’s why there’s always been Beatles or Marx Brothers or men, together. Because it’s alright for them to work together or whatever it is. It’s the same except that we sleep together, you know? I mean, not counting love and all the things on the side, just as a working relationship with her, it has all the benefits of working with another male artist and all the joint inspiration, and then we can hold hands too, right?

SHEVEY: But Yoko is a very independent person. Isn’t it— [inaudible]

JOHN: Sure, and so were the men I worked with. The only difference is she’s female.

SHEVEY: But you didn’t find it difficult to make that transition?

JOHN: Oh yeah. I mean, it took me four years. I’m still not – I’m still only coming through it, you know.

— Interview with Sandra Shevey (June 1972).

I know I keep posting this quote, but I don’t think he can make it more obvious than that: it’s not about the sex. Or rather, the sex is not the primary thing.

He didn’t push all those years because he was uncontrollably horny for Paul. John just wants a physical manifestation, a more tangible “proof”, of his emotional connections. He wants to be able to hold hands, be held and perhaps also have sex with his best friend; he needs those proofs of love through the means of physical affection because he won’t believe Paul’s love for him is there otherwise (or that it’s as great as John’s).

Would society normalizing other kinds of relationships – such as friendships – to be as important or on the same level as amorous (romantic/sexual) ones, have helped John and Paul? Most likely.

Would society normalizing same-sex amorous relationships have helped John and Paul? Perhaps. (For this one we would have to look more closely at Paul’s needs and desires.)

All this to say that John’s idea of sexuality was extremely influenced by society, and in his case, the rule “amorous relationships are the normative ones” outweighed the “heterosexual relationships are the normative ones”.

The conflict occurred when from Paul’s perspective, the priority of the rules was the other way around. I think Paul was ready to ignore society’s norm and live his life with his friendship with John as the most important relationship. But he also wanted a heterosexual one. (But more on that on a post of its own.)

For now, I hope I have more or less managed to express my thoughts on the matter of John’s sexuality.

Thank you so much for reading through all that and for reaching out in the first place! I truly appreciate it!

#John Lennon #paul mccartney #yoko ono #the beatles #asks me why #I'm not a homosexual or we could have had a homosexual relationship #he could be a real soft sweetie #paul is a concept by which we measure our pain #touching is good #and when i touch you i feel happy inside #the person I actually picked as my partner #johnny #macca #alistair taylor #Brian Epstein #Tony Sheridan #Horst Fascher #meta #my stuff

166 notes · View notes

obeymematches · 4 years ago

Text

gumdopfairy matchup request~

Hello! May I request a matchup? Sorry if it is too long. ><

Synopsis: I come off as distant and awkward. I don’t talk much and if I do, I am agreeable and soft-spoken. I would say I am sensitive, transparent, emotional, understanding, curious, carefree, and clumsy. I am expressive and am not afraid to show my feelings, people would say I am an open book. I always cry at sad movies or scenes where you’re supposed to cry. I have 4 siblings and it’s fun but tiring at the same time, I’m the butt of every joke and am treated like the youngest. I also like to tease those I am very close with. I am expressive and (sometimes childish) with those I am very close to and agreeable with the general public. In a group work setting, I am diligent and reasonable when doing my job.

Habits/Interests/Dreams: I say ‘what the heck’ a lot, it’s a habit tbh. I rant when I am passionate. A dream of mine is to enjoy life with people I love, to travel, capture beautiful scenery and eat lots of sweets! I like learning about international cultures, languages and funky things like did you know smelling your own fart prevents Alzhimer’s disease because of hydrogen sulfide and egg-smells? LOL.

Travel, psychology, and society-related documentaries interests me. I am currently a (elementary) A2 level Korean, I want to study more of the language because I like Korean music and culture. The concept of time travel, multitudes of reality and isekai worlds intrigue and fascinate me, I like reading fictional stuff about it. I have good knowledge of geography. My siblings always tease me when the number 13 shows because…..I want to always avoid the number and really hate that number. I used to do judo in high school and I have a fascination with martial arts. :D

Likes/Dislikes: I like pastels, sunsets, flowers, photography, sweets, fried foods, skincare, sparkly stuff, lip gloss, memes, dad jokes and games.

I dislike it when people assume things about me like they know me (when they really don’t), condescending people, ignorance, waking up early and seafood. I like my freedom and want to be independent, and dislike it immensely being forced to do something I don’t want to do. I really don’t like listening to lectures (doesn’t everyone though?). I’m not academically inclined but I have decent grades. I really don’t like math and chemistry T_T

In depth: I am pretty sensitive when people criticize or judge me only if it’s constructive but if it is outright just to insult me than I will say something bc that upsets the heck outta me. Because I have such a big immediate family (there’s 7 of us) I am family-oriented so playing Obey Me really reminds me a lot of my family(esp siblings I have 4). In fact, I do get irritated easily and I am working on my short-temper. I am understanding and always try my best to not look at things just in my perspective but others as well. I am pessimistic in nature but I do genuinely want to see the good in people and in life. When thinking about my feelings and knowing the why I feel the way I do and how it affects others, you could say there is emotional intelligence. :)

My insecurity without a doubt is caring too much on what people think of me and how content I am with myself. I think this is because of me, my past “friends” who judged me so critically which had a negative effect on how I see myself. Because of that, I have very few friends. In fact, I don’t really have any. I kind of just lost my self of self and trust for people. And my insecurity with of how unrefined, incompetent or unlikable I am, I’ve been told a lot to “grow up” and “stop asking dumb questions.”

I want to be loved and not to be judged so harshly. Since I am slowly becoming an adult I have to discard my awkward, playful tendencies in front of others. Even though I have low self-esteem it bothers me when being told that I did something or said something, it discredits my character and what gives one the right to tell me what I did or said when I know myself more than them?

Relationships: I honestly never had a boyfriend or any real close, close friends but I have a very close sibling who I grew up since I was an infant and it’s my younger sister (only by 16 months). She is truly my best friend and sister. I tend to like who are confident but also cool, they’re not domineering. I also find myself liking those who are opposite from me. The airheadness in me juxtaposed with my partner’s grounded nature. I’m pretty reckless and clumsy myself so it’d make sense if someone is reasonable and well-coordinated which would balance us out. My pessimism balanced with his optimism and/or realism.

I can offer my close companionship, humor, someone to listen to your troubles/ranting, and someone you can have ramen with and have conversations about anything without having restraint. Someone who I can be free with. Someone who can accept my flaws and who can help me improve myself and I would do the same for them.

We can laugh together, spend time with each other, make each other cry, fight and be there for each other when we are feeling low. A best friend and a partner for life, someone who would not harshly constrain, judge or tear me down as an individual. Wow, I am crying writing this. I am so idealistic about what I want in my relationships mainly because I never had one but deep down, I don’t think it’s like that in real life.

Hobbies: otome games, learning Korean, pilates/ workout videos, eating, and bothering my siblings

My Fangirl self: I am a big fan of Avatar:The Last Airbender and One Punch Man (Genos is husbando material lol). I also really like Free and Haikyuu. Hot 2D men, babies, and puppies are my weaknesses. I read a lot of romance, isekai, and action webtoons/mangas and like watching it too.

Appearance wise, I’m 163 cm, and Asian so I have medium standard straight dark hair and I’m slim.

---------

Hey! Thank you for your request! Sorry for the wait!

It was pretty hard to decide who would be the best partner for you. I thought about Beelzebub or Leviathan. Because Levi is into animes, mangas and Asian culture, but Beel loves food and his siblings especially Belphie. Hope you like my decision, because I decided to choose Beelzebub!

Here is why:

I think it’s ideal for Beel to have a quite clumsy girl with him. I can imagine when you, for example, fall down on the stairs and he catch you! He would protect and take care of you. He would be right there for you when you can’t reach something!

He may look serious and mean, but actually he isn’t!

When you watch a sad movie or when someone judges you, he would try his best to make you feel happy again. Make you some food or maybe cuddle with you!

You mentioned that you are an open book which would make Beel understand you even more. Being transparent is very important if you want a healthy relationship!

He is very close to his brothers. He would do anything for them. His best friend is Belphegor, and I think it’s good because your best friend is your sibling too. Imagine all of you hanging out like a super big family!! I think Beel can get along with pretty much anyone.

Beel is very positive and rewarding so it would be ideal for you as there would be a balance.

Both of you loves to eat, it would be a great date to go eat something, or make food together. I’m sure he will share his food with you! (Especially if you share your food with him too) Trust me he knows the best places to get food from! Also when you travel, he is going to encourage you to try food you maybe wouldn’t otherwise!

He would think your “what the heck” habit is cute though. Imagine him smiling so cutely to hmself every time you say it! If you two hang out a lot he might start saying it a lot too!

Beel would love to hear your voice so talk to him about everything! You can trust him! He is not too talkative himself, so your tendencies to rant gives a good balance!

Moreover he would support you in everything! He is one of the most supporting brothers!

Also don’t worry. He has 6 siblings, it’s much worse than 4, he knows what you mean when you say you are tired!

Beelzebub would join you to watch differents shows or animes, but make sure there’s food!

I’m sure you would enjoy the time that you spend together! He can be very adorable and careful. Maybe he would invite you to the gym or hiking (or maybe to do judo), but reward you with a kiss for example.

He would make your day better for example with a romantic dinner or to just go out and watch the sunset with a picnic even if it’s the day you don’t like, so he tries to get your mind off it.

Leviathan would join you if you want to play games or listen to kpop. Of course while this make sure you give food to Beel to make him less jealous. But he is not the most jealous type, so really there’s not much to worry about.

Furthermore, if you don’t want to wake up early, he would stay in bed with you and cuddle. But sometimes Belphegor would be a better partner for this and he would treat you as his sister.

He would hold your hand until he falls asleep. Think about that!

Chemistry and Math is definitely not Beel’s favourite ones as well. You better get help from Lucifer or Satan! But Beel won’t judge you based on your grades!

He would laugh at your jokes, and try to make you laugh too!

He wouldn’t judge you and say mean things to you because he would really value you and you would mean the world for him beside food.

He needs emotional support though.(SPOILER depending on where you are in the story) Sometimes he blame himself for some mistakes. Thats why it’s nice that you are emotionally mature, he definitely needs someone he can rely on emotionally as well.

Also he will make sure that you don’t think about what others think of you! He loves you the way you are!

He is the youngest, so you can be childish together!

He is pretty flexible and confident, so no turn-offs so far!

He is the tallest one so I think you would look super cute next to him (he is like 205 cm lmao)

I think he is really patient and actually encouraging so hanging out with him will definitely boost your confidence!

I think in canon he never really had any relationship before either, so it would be amazing to learn about relationships together!

I think theres no thing like “thats not how it is in real life”, you just have to keep looking. Fortunately Beel has similar values as you, as he can be shy and that makes opening up to someone hard - meaning the friendship can last some time before you establish a relationship. A healthy relationship is based on being best friends with your partner, so I think you are on the same page.

Maybe sometimes you and Belphie would team up to prank him, what do you think?

He definitely adores that you care for yourself and that you are stylish! Asmo probably knows more about these than Beel, but thanks to Asmo’s influence Beel will suprise you with how much cosmetics he can name!

So in conclusion he is a very supportive boyfriend, and you are also supporting him through the journey of healing from the past. A very cute relationship and you two can do anything together. He can get you do some sports and you can get him to watch some shows on rainy days. However food is something you both enjoy a lot, so restaurant or cooking dates are common! Even if you travel. Knowing that you can trust the other no matter what will boost the confidence of the both of you! He can be less talkative but that’s fine because you can talk! He is also rather optimistic, so there is a balance in that as well. Sometimes he might get jealous of Levi or Belphie if you hang out with them too much, but thats just something to have a conversation about. He is cool and rather chill, definitely gets along well with your family too, which is very important because both of you are family-oriented!

#om!#obey me #obey me!#obey me shall we date #om beel #om beelzebub #obey me beelzebub #beel #beelzebub obey me #obey me matchup #swd obey me #obey me swd #submission

10 notes · View notes

fatethearcher · 6 years ago

Text

Even the Mahoutokoro Robes piss me off now:

Originally I was too annoyed at some of the other Mahoutokoro shit to notice: ((Storm Petrels JKR, really? The one bird that just so happens to also have a European counterpart you'd be able to draw reference to?)), but I was thinking about the robes changing color and I realized how horrible the robes turning white thing is.... With as much nuance JKR gave characters that were considered "Dark" in the original HP books, I would think she wouldn't have resorted to such a method for detecting "dark" magic because it sounds cool. If she did her research, then I'm ashamed at how badly she interpreted her research, because being robed in white was something done to Samurai who were to commit seppuku: AKA ritual suicide. If JKR did her research she's basically saying "Hey you just revealed magic to a mundane-- or you used a 'dark aligned' spell? Well the Japanese Ministry thinks this is the equivalent to a death sentence!! :)" --- Sure she didnt exactly consider the nuances she could add to the whole "dark vs light" magic debates in the books--- but I always just kind of assumed it was because Harry was an unreliable narrator, rather than it being because she didnt consider that in her own friggin magic system she emphasizes importance of intent for spellcasting---

That's not even going into the "Robes changing as you gain more knowledge"-- like, how do you even quantify that?!?! I just took that to assume it means by what year/s you're in-- with possibly pink being 7-10 year olds that dont board there or being the color for pre-OWL students, Post OWL students having another color, and post NEWT students achieving gold robes (gold being the final color annoys me too but it can be ignored because gold has ties to alchemy and that could be the reason such an ornate color is the one to strive for in magical Japan vs something less conspicuous like black) With OWLS and NEWTS obviously just being my stand ins for whatever the equivalents are called in Japan ofc.

---

On houses at the school:

I actually like the idea of houses developing in Magical China, and that idea being brought over to Magical Japan with Seiryuu, Suzaku, Byakko, and Genbu...... (AKA the houses in japan) --- and with this idea, the house system maybe spread from China to other countries with the misunderstanding that the houses were just creatures that represented values/virtues, rather than the truth of them having religious and cultural significance to the magical community..... Possibly the house system spread to the UK when the Roman Empire had a foothold there? I'd have to read up on my world history a bit more to explain the spread of this system.

Possibly the idea of a single institution for magical learning came from China as well? Because looking at how British Wizards and Witches are spread about, rather than integrated into Muggle communities, it's likely these smaller communities were where people used to hold small gatherings to teach magic, rather than sending kids off somewhere they could possibly be discovered? Idk lol

------

The Storm Petrel thing:

Even if the school IS located on Minami-Ioto (She didnt even get the modern name for the island right)- and thus need a safe and efficient way to transport the many day students to and from their homes, Giant birds are the LEAST likely option, imho, because even if they were faster than an airplane with charms to prevent kids getting airsick, the birds would need somewhere to take off and land at, and tons of charms to prevent muggles from noticing the giant fucking birds. There'd have to be a lot of them too, since Japan has such a high population.

The easier option would just be- use some form of advanced portkeys to teleport to the island? Maybe use the Tori gates at local temples as some advanced version of a port key where you can just pass through and it teleports you? Or maybe have a magical subway system that travels through the earth's crust at blazing speeds and not only has separate platforms connected to Mundane stations, but also stations in more rural areas that may be near mountains. The subway system would ofc have a shit ton of fireproofing charms attached.

Storm Petrels aren't even anything special tbh... You can literally find many breeds of them throughout the world. If she wanted a common bird, crows at least have the relation to the Tengu to go on. If she was looking for a mythological bird, yeah there aren't that many in Japanese folklore, but she could have tried using the Phoenix (or Ho-o as it would be in Japan) and say that the Ho-o is a larger variant? Even with these two options though, I'd still have the same complaint about how many fucking charms would be needed to make the ride safe for day students. At least a subway system would keep the students enclosed where they wouldn't have the risk off falling to their death, and the charms would be easier to update/modify seeing as they wouldn't be cast on a living being-- I dont know if it's canon, but I'd think that spells cast on a living being would wear off faster than those on an inanimate object. Plus there's the whole "living beings need food and water and places to sleep", while inanimate objects dont need any of that?

(I didnt come up with the subway one, that's on another person who thought of Mahoutokoro also having a train, but it uses time Turner tech to always arrive 5 minutes early--- I personally like that one a lot)

----

Other things:

-Jade isnt a Japanese thing really, it's more of a Chinese thing with most of Japan's jade being imported. Having the entire school be made of jade is not only impractical and pointless, it also would cost a lot due to it being imported. The Jade could be something to do with the school's magical defense but even STILL....

-Again, the name of the island hasn't been Minami Iwo-Jima since 2007. It's Minami-Ioto now, same Kanji but different reading. Also, why there of all places? Because it's remote? You realize the size of Japan and distance between its islands are NOT the same as with Britain right? Japan has about the same land mass as Britain overall, but its Islands are spread a lot further, meaning it has a larger amount of ocean territory. It makes more sense to put the school closer to where people are, but still in a remote location. Maybe somewhere in Hokkaido if she wanted to stick to the remote-ness and Volcano theme she has going with Minami-Ioto? Plus they students would get 4 distinct seasons in Hokkaido vs. The less distinct seasons on Minami-Ioto -- which if the 4 houses I suggested were used would be extremely important since each house would have it's own season for celebration.

-Literally the only section of the pottermore page I liked was the Quidditch one because ofc the Japanese practice during storms and/or when the Japanese Militrary are taking off nearby. They're that fucking dedicated and I love it. Still dont like the green on their uniforms (can be found on the Wiki page for Toyohashi Tengu), but that's just my personal preference- It doesn't look tasteful to me I guess lol.

----

I've tagged Mahoutokoro posts on my blog that I like and agree with for headcanons under #Mahoutokoro ... I may eventually make my own post detailing Mahoutokoro but who knows lol. I also have my thoughts on Mahoutokoro as a name on a reblog for another post in this tag as well.... not grammar wise, but meaning wise.

#mahoutokoro #harry potter #jk rowling

35 notes · View notes

ittakesrain · 5 years ago

Link

“Think about how it’s nourishing you.”

I’ve gotta cut the crap with this “falling back into my eating disorder” thing.

So I’m supposed to eat at least 2 actual meals a day and while I eat, I’m supposed to think about all the good the food is doing me. Nourishing my body. Making my skin and hair healthy, helping me function the right way. Nourishing my brain. Allowing my meds to work the right way.

I ate one actual meal today already (almost immediately after being told that I have to do the above by my therapist). I tracked it on this app I’m gonna start using called “Recovery Record” (because it’s a fucking cool app and because even though I’m once again shocked by how I’m at such a low with the eating stuff, it’s apparently necessary for me to get all the help I can). And I truly did think about how food is literally necessary for a person’s body and brain and health and happiness, etc etc etc

#therapywin

It’s actually a really helpful thing to think while eating. It’s really comforting to know that I’m doing something good for myself. I mean, it’s quite obvious that restricting and starving or whatever other bullshit I’ve been doing is bad for me. For my body and for my already dysfunctional brain. But the allure was obviously still there (for reasons I’ve said before and reasons I think I’ve still got buried under the piles of crap in my mind).

So yeah. Focusing on health. And on that note, I’ve compiled a list of things that sorta have to do with food and how it related to actual physical and mental health.

The obvious stuff first, some of which I’ve already said, and other general positives of eating healthily and not restricting :

— good nutrition gives your body and brain what it needs to function properly (duh)

— therefore making you feel good (as opposed to weak and hungry and overall just shitty)

— hi, if you want energy, you need food and you need calories (which, by the way, is a word that means energy)

— hi, if you also want to focus, then eat some goddamn food, because not eating reduces gray matter in your brain, which as you can imagine is not a good thing to be reduced

— eating well has a positive impact on mood (as I’ve learned multiple times and should definitely try to fucking remember because my moods are fucked up enough)

— making good choices ensures you’ll feel good and be in good health later in life (AKA don’t screw up the entire second half of your life due to dumbass reasons to stay eating disordered)

— it maintains your immune system so you don’t get sick every other week and so you don’t stay sick for months at a time when you do get sick

— basically, food affects every aspect of your life and eating like a normal human being is hella helpful (granted “normal” is subjective, but I use it to try and kick some sense into myself)

Stuff that happens with the disorder gets really bad:

— the loss of your period (amenorrhea), which is the result of fucking up your estrogen hormones by not eating, can decrease your bone density by decreasing calcium in your body, leading to osteoporosis, which honestly sounds really terrible, so let’s just not [sidenote about the calcium thing, taking a Ca supplement when you actually get your period totally helps cramps]

— also you might mess up your chances of ever getting pregnant, so there’s that, and the sooner you “restore your period” the better your chances of staying fertile are

— your body will start eating its own muscles, including that good old heart muscle, because of something called like, “protein-energy malnutrition” or something

— anemia, lack of iron, not enough red blood cells to carry oxygen (which is kind of important) through your body

List of things that are “not otherwise specified” (see what I did there? EDNOS? I don’t think that’s what they call it anymore, but whatever):

— preventing yourself from eating for a prolonged period of time only makes you eventually want to start eating and not stop for a prolonged period of time, which, if you have an eating disorder, is confusing and upsetting (not that there’s anything wrong with eating to your heart’s content, but if you’ve been there, you know what I mean)

— dude, you’ve gotta get them vitamins, and yeah taking supplements helps (I certainly take all mine when I’m not eating because I might as well hold onto a sliver of health, amiright?) but those don’t do as well as vitamins and minerals from actual sustenance

— I keep thinking about the skin and hair thing that my therapist mentioned, and I love remembering that eating makes my them healthy (because that stuff makes me look healthier in a way unrelated to weight, and that’ll make me feel better) [also, when I went back to school after being in the hospital for a few months due to the anorexia that I’d suffered from for three years, one of my teachers complimented my hair specifically, and I remember thinking that that was the absolute most perfect thing to say because it didn’t have to do with my weight, and it made me feel proud to be healthy]

I could keep going with these lists, but I feel like that’s a good start. Maybe I’ll continue adding as I think of more things. We shall see, but tbh now I have to go focus on eating another actual meal. I’m gonna think about this stuff while simultaneously trying to eat “mindfully” and “intuitively” haha, so go me, I guess?

1 note · View note

atopearth · 6 years ago

Text

Shall we Date? Wizardess Heart Part 18 - Yukiya Reizen Sequel

So typical and cute of the heroine and Yukiya to still be embarrassed at kissing to return the creature form Yukiya to his human form. Nice that Elias is pretty much a Prefect now, he’s so cool. Surprisingly Klaus recommended the heroine to try and become one, I guess the heroine in all these sequels is capable now? I hate Hiro though, how could he say that Yukiya smells cursed in front of all the new students! Now he’ll be avoided again! Yukiya doesn’t deserve that! Sure, he’s mature and can deal with it, but it’s still terrible! He has no consideration for others zzz.

On the other hand, that pot with a Hinomoto beast/magic sealed in it or something, really brave of the heroine to be the one to use magic to levitate and transport it back to the school for the headmaster to look at once he’s back. It was really nice to see Yukiya believe that she could do it and then carry her back to the dorm afterwards since she exhausted her magic😊 Good thing is that Hiro’s words made the heroine realise that knowledge about curses would be an important first step to prevent these clueless students from avoiding Yukiya and so she hopes to become Prefect and impart this knowledge to them, it’s a good goal~

Ooh the pot was empty? That’s too bad.. Still cute that they shared cupcakes together though, they sound good🤤 Dayuuum, if only we could have healing magic to cure sore feet from heels on our wedding days too! I’m sure all the women would be very thankful to the heroine hahaha. Aww the heroine caught the bouquet, that’s so cutee~ Hahaha, Yukiya was so cute when he tried his best to listen the students’ problems and seriously answered them in such a silly way hahaha, he’s so sincere though🤣 So saddening that the students are so scared of Yukiya though lol. Nice to see Yukiya help fend off the possessed student, it was so heartwarming to see Elias feel so bad that he wasn’t the first one to notice this happening since he’s the prefect, but really, he’s so busy trying to handle everything by himself, he should really let the heroine and Yukiya to help him with these things now XD He’s such a sweet guy.

Why do all these clueless students have to hurt Yukiya like this?! He was so happy when they seemed to understand him for protecting them from the possessed student, instead, they’re still focusing on his curse and saying that one good deed doesn’t mean he’s not cursed and that the heroine is probably cursed too or whatever like wtf? Have you guys looked at yourselves? Have you guys even done one good deed? What right do you have to judge Yukiya and stigmatise him when he’s done more worthwhile things than you? This is just getting ridiculous. Like, what kind of people are these? It’s not like they’ve even confirmed that he has a curse, they’re just jumping to conclusions. I find it really stupid and ridiculous right now tbh. More than that though, I feel like the story isn’t very engaging, mostly because it’s quite similar to the first story in the sense that his powers are still affecting him in the same way as before with people avoiding him like the plague, and sure it shows continuity since it relates to the first story but at the same time, I don’t feel like anyone has grown or that the story has really progressed at all.

And I don’t like the Nue thing lol. Anyway, Yukiya is cute, especially when he put the aruenaristy flower in her hair to represent their promise of love and marriage. Good to see them rely on each other and their respective roles to fight the Nue. But honestly, I felt like this route was way too similar to his season 1 and added no depth to his story or their romance, they’re both still so shy and dancing around each other! I wanted them to be more cute, more intimate and more sweet! The happy ending kinda does that but the whole route didn’t so… And the ending part where Yukiya takes the heroine back to see his family and face them again is what I really wanted to see and see how he deals with everything now, so it was great, but at the same time, I felt like this whole sequel was rather redundant and I could have just read the ending without anything else and I wouldn’t have felt like I missed out tbh, so yeah, quite disappointed in this sequel..😢

#wizardess heart

5 notes · View notes

galaxylohnce · 6 years ago

Text

VUD paladin headcanons!!!!

BTW this is based off of @voltronuniversaldefender ‘s reboot!!! CHECK THEM OUT THEYRE DOING GOD’S WORK

also i have read approx 2 headcanons and baRELY understand this AU so if there are similarities to anyone else or inconsistencies iT IS AN ACCIDENT AND IM SORRY

anyway this is just about the 4 confirmed paladins BET ill be doing more about Fa’rah/Takashi/Zahi/Ashanti once i know a bit more about their roles in the team!!

Alvaro Garcia Valladares

he has a twin. i don't make the rules, but he has a twin.

he has a big family. the biggest family. we’re talking, his mom has 8 siblings and his dad has 9 and there’s a 10 year age gap between him and his oldest sibling and he loves them all so much

natia is his best friend. i repeat, NATIA IS HIS BEST FRIEND!!!!

he’s also quite close with kiki. Natia and Kiki are the only two that he met before their great space adventure

he wasn't really sure of his sexuality at first. (i say this because i wasn't sure of my sexuality at first - im bi btw - and all the media i saw told me that any lgbt+ character was 100% sure of their sexuality form the day they were born, which made me doubt myself bc i didn't figure it out till recently, so i wanna see that in some media!! sometime!!) he probably figured it out halfway through having a crush on someone

the someone is akio, and he definitely tells Natia about it first

“natia... natia listen.... I have a crush on akio. freakin akio.... what do i do??? I’m bi, natia... I'm bi. what does this mean -”

“alvaro, I'm so proud of you, but this is a public bathroom and akio is right outside -”

GUARANTEE that the first time he saw Akio he just basically wanted to fight him but also flirt with him and had a slight moral crisis and ended up doing nothing

he is a goddamn sharpshooter, okay. he straight up becomes famous for it throughout the galaxy.

yet despite that he’s still insecure, and those insecurities prevent him from really getting together w akio until much later

he comes off as very suave and extroverted when you first meet him, but underneath it all, he’s actually really warm, personable and funny: not that anyone outside the team know that

aliens on social media, probably: god, the blue paladin is so cool... i bet he’s amazing and awesome and eloquent...

meanwhile, alvaro: do u guys think i could fit my whole hand in my mouth or nah?

enjoys memes, and shares this love with kiki

basically an all around great guy. because he often felt like a seventh wheel at the beginning of the formation of the team, he always tries to include everybody as best as possible, going way out of his way to ask after people, even if they forget to ask about him sometimes :’)

Natia Nanai

first off: what a gorgeous name. seriously. incredible kudos, my dude. anyway on to the head canons for this gorgeous girl

probably alvaro’s soulmate. already mentioned this, but it needs reiteration. they are best friends

had a large family too (not as big as alvaros tho) and probably major relate to him with that big family dealio

v close with kiki. they complete each other on a technological level.

natia is very, very creative. she and her sweet engineering know how are always instrumental in getting the Team out of tough situations

Akio: theres no way out of this we’re going to die -

Natia: bet?

she does say “bet” a lot. like, almost too much? but she's always right and valid when she says it

the villain: i’ve got you now!!!!

natia, under her breath: bet

the paladins, thinking: thank god, we’re saved

very soft but also badass as hell. she has a unique duality.

pulls a violet baudelaire: she puts that GORGEOUS hair up in a ponytail when doing work or whenever she has an idea

everyone on the team, regardless of sexuality, is low-key in love with her because she’s just so nice. no one can hate her. she's way too solid of a friend

speakinG of being a great friend: natia is 100% the secret keeper up in this bitch. everyone comes to her because they know she’s got the best advice around and will take their secrets to the grave

akio: idk man... alvaro is just rlly cute, u know?? but i can't tell him...

natia, thinking of alvaro literally whining to her about akio not even five minutes ago: christ

the mom friend. she always has all the things everyone needs on hand or in her lion, and she’s got it all going in terms of chore charts and family meals. she is the queen of figuring out times for team bonding and everyone loves her more for it

definitely started a board game night asap

she has a silent bravery about her that no one else can match. despite her trepidation, natia will always do what has to be done for the greater good.

she is guided by her heart and her morals, and is easily the kindest person on the team

bc of this kindness, she is often the diplomat when conflicts arise between people on the team

she is seen by the general public (aka the galaxy) as a strong, morally righteous woman. kind of like rosie the riveter-esque??? she’s the symbol of justice and fairness.

aliens: she's so... peacekeeping :0

natia, at kiki: throw me that wrench, or so help me god -

basically, a queen who always considers everyone and works really hard to create a family, even when they're all so far from home :’)

Kiki Evans

generally over it tbh

“always tired, but always inspired” - kiki, on being asked why there were dark circles under her eyes

kind of standoffish. she’s not really about being nice, she's about getting the job done, and that can rub people the wrong way, since she is always the first to offer up the cold, logical solution

but underneath that, she’s just a computer science nerd who is loyal to a fault

she really is loyal. its almost dangerous sometimes, because she would put the universe in danger to save her friends, which actually comes into conflict with her typical cold, logical approach.

she has 0-1 sibling. she's every bit the single child. she cannot relate to living in a big family setting, and at first its hard for her to deal with before she warms up to everyone else on the team

she's a genius, and thus found school to be tedious. in fact, she got fairly bad grades, as she wouldn't do the work that she saw as pointless and boring

she is a meme connoisseur, and loves to quote vines, often assisted by alvaro

kiki, as they approach a giant black hole: HZZK

alvaro, catching on immediately: is... is that real???

she is a conspiracy theorist, for sure. the government is watching us all, trying to make sure we don't learn too much.... she’s sure of it, and akio is too

tbh, the first proper conversation she had with akio was about cryptids and how the government had hidden them from the public

she was friends w natia and alvaro from before, but it is akio she becomes closest with the fastest. in some ways, she feels more distant from natia/alvaro bc of how close they are with each other and bc all of them have known each other for so long while akio is someone she got to know recently: he has no preconceptions about who she used to be, and she has none about him

plus, she and akio relate on many levels: both trans, both gay, both autistic, both theorists, and both loyal to a fault. she finds a real blood brother in akio :D

very openly gay. very. she's a space lesbian, and theres no denying it

kiki, meeting some random space girl: oh

kiki, moments later to akio: god I'm gay

akio, downing a glass of water but acting like its vodka or smthg: god, same

the public sees her as the cold and calculating techie, the brains of the operation

natia is her partner in crime. they finish each others sentences. they've got a tech connection going, babey

kiki: if we just cross-reference the zaiforge tunnel with the -

natia, nodding: particle consummator, of course we’ll get the perfect -

them, together: amount of energy!!!

everyone else: sorry wot

basically, she's a tech goddess with a splash of genius. she's uneasy and a bit awkward, but thats just bc she’s never been in a situation like this before. after literally 1 second with her, she opens up and is such a loyal friend. :’)

Akio Himura

wow this boy is gay and he knows it

he loves his parents (zahi, takashi, and ashanti) but god he will never admit it. not ever

alvaro, after listing his parents, 20 aunts and 100 cousins: and i love them all so much, with all my heart. what about ur family akio?

akio, not wanting to show weakness: they're nerds.

alvaro: um okay cool good talk haha :)

akio, internally: but i love them nd would die for them tbh... but i can't show weakness

he's so guarded after his biological parents left/died/disappeared. poor boy

definitely a single child, and definitely adopted

his parents love him SO MUCH. so much.

akio: why do i have three parents, dad?

takashi, almost crying: its simple. u deserve so much love, that it couldn't be contained in just two people. we needed three. its how its gotta be, my beautiful, sweet summer child

a yeehaw kind of guy. he grew up in the midwest riding horses before his biological parents died and theres a piece of him that will always be a southern boy

the kind of kid in school that pretends he’s a delinquent, but actually just has the aesthetic of a delinquent, and is truly soft

akio: hell yeah I'm a rebel. i logged onto disney.com without my parents permission

kiki, choked up: so brave

mothman is his love. his passion. all cryptids, for that matter. kiki is more of an all around conspiracy theorist: akio is in it for the cryptids

he’s a bit awkward, and doesn’t totally understand all social cues/jokes. because of this, he stays away from memes, and is very guarded when meeting new people, especially after experiences with light bullying for not only his social ineptitude, but his upbringing.

considering that, his first meeting with alvaro was supremely awkward, and akio accidentally fought with him multiple times before they established a solid friendship

akio, having a gay panic: you are the light of my life

alvaro: sorry what??

akio, panicking more: I said, you wanna fiGHT WITH A KNIFE???

he pined after alvaro from basically day one, but had the foresight to actually know that he was pining, unlike alvaro who just floundered

of course he would never say anything

he is a stabby boi. he is unrivaled in swordplay, and enjoys routine. his natural affinity for picking up new skills plus his unrivaled work ethic basically DESTROYED everyone else when it came to swords

he’s loyal af and is always the first one to take action. akio is a “do something. do anything, but do it fast before we lose a chance to do something” kind of guy

the general public sees him as the fiery one: he’s the one with the fanciest footwork in a fight, and he’s very good with battle tactics. he can come thru with that strategy at the perfect times

he's a low-key emo. for sure. he loves MCR, but strangely dislikes other similar artists like p!atd and fob.

kiki: but...brendon urie, akio....

akio, sipping tea: as a gay, i can appreciate the aesthetic. but no one can compete with MCR

kiki, exasperated: its not a competition -

basically, a slightly guarded boy with a real talent for defending the universe and his friends, but also an emo cowboy mess who is in love with alvaro and loves everyone :’)

WELL THAT ENDED UP LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. I HOPE U ENJOY AAAA

ALSO FOLLOW @voltronuniversaldefender !!!! its amazing, guys, really check it out :D

#vud #voltron universal defender #i love them asadjkdflkKL #vud headcanons #I HOPE YALL LIKE THIS #alvaro valladeres #natia nanai #kiki evans #akio himura

222 notes · View notes