#Keith intrusive thoughts

[2deadkat]

The update to the 2Deadkat national flag

[keithkog]

That urge to eat pebbles and rocks. I don’t know about you, but I understand some people who were on My Strange Addiction.

-Keith

[buckysgrace]

Mittens

A Christmas party leaves Steve hopeful as he finally admits his feelings.

CW: mentions of past pseudocest, mentions of alcohol, weed use, blowjobs, fem!oral sex, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, dirty talk, some spitting and cum swapping, implied former pseudocest

Another gift for my sweet @sadhours who has been denied the gift of these two for so long. I hope you enjoy <3

Art at the bottom by @Scott1505236401 on twitter!! Her commissions are open!!

Kim

Kim stood in the corner, nursing a cup of sparkling cider as she examined the room in front of her. They had pushed the racks of movies towards the back of the room, leaving space to bring out the fold out tables. The air was sickeningly sweet, likely from all the desserts that had been brought out. 

She hadn’t been working at Family Video for very long, but it gave her more money than her previous job had. She felt bad for Susan, her mother. She knew she needed to help out in some way, so that’s what she did. She worked most nights, bringing her homework in on the slow nights so she wouldn’t fall behind in her classes.

The decorations had been thrown together last minute, strung up haphazardly about twenty minutes ago because Keith had failed to mention that he wanted the store to actually be decorated. It was messier than what she was used to, the simple decorations mirroring the ones that were currently strung up in her trailer. But she had at least made it look nicer. 

It wasn’t quite elbow to elbow, but there were more people than usual within the store. Partners were allowed to be brought, which signaled her out. She didn’t have anyone to bring along. She had attempted Max, figuring that her sister would make it less lonely, but she had refused in the end. 

“Pretty boring.” A soft voice appeared behind her, making her startle at the sudden intrusion. 

“Oh,” she jumped, nearly toppling her drink over in the process. Steve reached out at the same time she did, balancing her cup so that only a little bit of the liquid toppled out onto their fingers, “Oh God. I’m so sorry.”

“No, that was my bad,” he said with a little laugh, shaking his head as he quickly grabbed them a few napkins, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He replied quickly, beginning to dab her fingertips clean. She blinked, trying to remember where he had disappeared to.

He had long removed his vest, the same way she had. His sweater was green, filled with various Christmas designs. She thought it looked cute, meanwhile hers was a bulbous white one. It had been her father’s years ago and was much too big for her, making her look like a giant marshmallow. But it was the only thing that she had. 

“You didn’t,” she gulped, realizing how snappy she sounded, “I mean, maybe you did a little bit.” She replied in a joking manner, breathing in deeply to make herself relax. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous suddenly. She’d spent a lot of time with him recently, he was a good friend. In some way. 

“Sorry,” he apologized, giving her a little grin, “I’ll announce myself better next time.” He added as she set her drink down, moving the napkin across the rim, so the cup wouldn’t be sticky. 

“It’s fine,” She shook her head, “I was just distracted.” She admitted a second later, feeling like that was the best way to describe how she had been for the past few months. Everything felt rushed, but also slow at the same time. Like she’d been stuck in some sort of weird rut. 

“She looks happy, doesn’t she?” Steve asked her as he turned his attention back to Robin, his arms crossed in some proud way at the way she spoke to Vickie. She hadn’t came with Robin for obvious reasons, but they lingered by each other now. They were laughing about something, Kim wondered what.

“How long ago did they get together?” she asked softly, keeping her voice low just to be safe. She didn’t want to be the reason that Robin got exposed. But they were a cute couple, she just wouldn’t say that out loud. 

“Why, are you jealous?” he teased as he watched her, his eyes flickering with warmth. Her lips parted, wondering if he still thought that she had some sort of crush on Robin.  

“No,” she squeaked out quickly, her face burning once again, “They just look really cute together is all.” She nodded her head in determination as she continued to watch them, feeling like there was a knife going through her heart. It had nothing to do with Robin, rather how she deeply missed having someone to laugh with in that manner. She missed him. 

“A few months ago,” he replied a second later, his eyes warm against her face, “I’m glad I’m not the only single one here.” He added softly, his eyes still lingering on her face. She didn’t have the strength to look at him, embarrassed at how her relationship had fallen apart. 

“Me too,” she told him softly, “It feels nice not to stick out.” She told him truthfully as they fell into silence once again. She still hadn’t really mastered how to speak to Steve, knowing that she overthought every little interaction. Even when they worked together they were mostly quiet. Silent but comfortable. 

“How are things with you and -,” he began to bring him, his features turning to confusion as she faced him for the first time. 

“Nothing,” she said quickly, cheeks burning and eyes widening in fear that he would mutter his name. She didn’t need her heart to break all over again, “There’s nothing between us. We’re over.” She told him, the words clawing at her mouth like knives. It didn’t feel right to say that out loud, even if it was true. Well, at least for Billy.

It made sense that when Neil left, Billy left too. Even if he didn’t leave with his father, what else did Billy have left in this town? It wasn’t even worth staying another year for her. No, she had gotten left behind too.

She found out two weeks after he left that he had hooked a ride with Tommy; made his way back to California. Where he belonged. He sounded happy, at least at first. She remembered when they’d spend hours talking over the phone, how she would write so many letters that it made her hand cramp and fingers stiff.

Now she was too afraid to even dial the phone, knowing that she had become a burden again. He was out living his life; one of freedom. Like he deserved, and she couldn’t be angry at that. The last time they spoke she could hear the guilt in his voice, how his tone strained. And she couldn’t be the one to force him.

But she still wrote to him, even though she didn’t send them. The letters were hidden in her dresser drawer, slowly becoming reminders that she wasn’t good enough. She was sure they would be too heavy for him to read anyway, too tear soaked to make out the words. It served as just a little reminder for herself. 

“Oh,” he blinked slowly, like he didn’t understand, “That’s too bad.” She could tell by his tone that he was being honest, even if him and Billy hadn’t grown to be very close. She wished she could explain it more, but she was unable to. She knew she’d only end up crying if she opened up the scar on her heart. 

“I heard that you and Gina broke up,” she stated suddenly, crossing her arms over her chest in fear that he could see the gaping wound that was her heart. It felt easier to put him on the spot, even if it felt a little mean right now.

“Mutual agreement,” he said quickly as he took a long gulp from his cup, “I think she loves someone else.” His reply was soft, yet bitter at the same time. She felt bad for him, knowing that this was the second big heartbreak that he had gone through. 

“That sucks,” she nodded her head as she allowed herself to meet his big brown eyes, his features warm against the soft flickering of the Christmas lights. There was something soft in the way he composed himself, how he looked at her. It was different from a few months ago. 

“I guess I’m used to it,” he gave his shoulders a little shrug, a small smile on his lips as he teased himself. She nodded her head in agreement, wishing she had some sort of advice to give him. But she had none. She still hadn’t finished nursing her heartbreak. 

“I didn’t realize there would be so many couples here.” She told him instead, surprised that so many of her coworkers had someone else. She wished that she wasn’t so bitter and jealous. She wanted to have someone.

“I knew there would be as soon as Keith started talking about the girl he was seeing.” He snorted as he leaned against the counter, cocking his eyebrows like he was surprised. Keith’s girlfriend seemed nice, at least from the brief interaction they’d had with one another. 

“They make a really good couple.” She nodded her head as she pressed her lips together in a smile, hoping that would at least keep Keith off of her back. He wasn’t a creep, but he had attempted to ask her out more than what she was comfortable with. 

“Odd.” He snorted softly, taking her by surprise. Okay, maybe they did look a little odd but there was nothing wrong with that. Odd was better than nothing. 

“Odd can be good,” she giggled softly as she watched him, “At least he’s happy.” She hummed as she stole another cookie off of the tray, feeling like she hadn’t gone overboard on eating her feelings tonight. 

“Good for at least one of us.” He mumbled as he shook his head, reaching across her to grab a similar cookie from the tray. He munched on it roughly, looking as if he still had something to say. 

“Come on,” Robin rushed over, the fake antlers on her head nearly toppling over, “We’re starting the gift exchange.” She grinned in excitement as she gestured back towards the table of presents. Kim watched her for a moment, observing how her shirt was similar to Steve’s. They must’ve gotten it together, or maybe it was an older version of his. 

“I want to open mine first.” He stated proudly, making her heart drop a little bit. She didn’t want him to open his first, fearful that he wouldn’t like it. She didn’t want everyone to have to witness his displeasure. 

“Now?” Her voice cracked as she asked the question, her feet dragging on the floor as she followed them towards the messy table. Her pulse had quickened against the crook of her neck as her nerves settled on top of her. She wasn’t happy with how this was going. 

“Yes.” He stated sternly and proudly, his lips curling into a bright grind. He looked determined, making her emotions much more worried than she had been. 

She had panicked the second since she read who she had gotten for the gift exchange. Steve. It was like fate was cruelly digging its nails into her once again, because how else would the poorest one end up having to buy something for the richest coworker. What was she supposed to get for someone who had everything? 

From working late night shifts with him, she knew that he liked junk food. Popcorn with extra butter with some Raisinets thrown in there. In fact, his sweet tooth certainly challenged hers. More often than not, they’d end up sharing multiple bags of candy before the night was over. That was a start.

She forced herself to move, even though she felt like she had cement bricks stuck to her feet. She picked up the bag that she had delicately assembled, taking a deep breath as she walked towards him. 

“This is mine then?” He questioned as she passed the bag to him, her heart hammering at the way his brown eyes softened as he took it from her. She breathed in deeply, trying to ignore the flush in her cheeks as she gave a quick nod of her head in confirmation, “Sweet.” He was still watching her as he held the bag close to his lap, lips curled into a gentle smile. 

She sat back near Robin again, nervously twiddling her hair as he began to roughly pull the gift wrap out of the bag. He didn’t unwrap things neatly like Billy did, quite the opposite actually. He was excited, like he couldn’t wait to see what was inside.

“I hope you like it,” she added softly, feeling worried as he began to pull items out of the bag, “I wasn’t sure what to get you.” She told him seriously, wishing that he had written on the list of suggested items. He had only shrugged and told Robin that he needed nothing when she had asked. 

“Candy,” he grinned as he pulled it out, “Going straight for my heart.” He was teasing, but that did nothing to stop her pulse from quickening against the side of her neck. She wasn’t trying to impress him. Well, maybe she had been a bit. She just didn’t want to be labeled as a bad gift giver either. 

“It’s all grape flavored.” Robin stated as she leaned over, inspecting the various candy bags that he pulled free. She wrinkled her nose up, looking less than pleased by the choices. 

“I love grape.” He stated as he wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion, pausing his movements as he looked at her seriously. Kim breathed in deeply at his confirmation, recalling how he always ate the grape flavored candies that they shared.

“You’re odd, Harrington.” She replied as she sat back in her spot, only to be hit with a piece of wadded up wrapping paper. She scoffed, shoving at Steve as he dug back into his bag. 

“Some music,” he replied proudly as he waved the tape around, “A new wallet, some cologne, a mug-,” He paused as he looked up at her, eyebrows crinkling together, “Kim, there’s a bunch of items in here.” He replied as his eyes met hers, a puzzled look on his features. She shifted in her chair, feeling uncomfortable by the people that turned towards her. Now, she felt like she had overdone herself. 

“I didn’t know what to get you,” she blushed harshly, feeling like she really hadn’t gone overboard, “There’s just one more thing at the bottom.” She said softly, watching as he began to tug the yarn out of the bottom of the bag. She wondered if she should have said anything at all, or if it would’ve been better for him to find it later on his own. Or to destroy it. It wasn’t any of her business. 

It had taken her some time to figure out what colors he would like, but she finally landed on a soft red.  She knew handmade items weren’t very popular, but she hoped he liked it the same.

“Wow,” he paused as he examined it, holding it out to make her wince. She hadn’t realized just how long she had made it, “I love it.” He told her genuinely, eyes cozy and syrupy as they made contact again.

“Really?” She asked him as she bit back her smile, feeling relieved suddenly. He had been a lot harder to shop for than what she had expected and she knew that had made gifts weren’t really wanted, but he had at least mentioned that he enjoyed practical things. A scarf was practical. 

“Yeah,” he smiled as he looped it around his neck. She winced, noting that she had definitely made it too long, “This is definitely going to keep me warm. And I can’t wait to listen to the mixtape.” He nodded his head encouragingly, making her feel much better.

“I don’t know much about music,” she started as she crossed her legs, twisted her fingers through her hair, “So I hope you like it.” She said softer this time, trying to keep herself from bouncing her leg up and down. She could feel her face burning, her nerves shot as she waited for someone else to grab a present. She was not going next. 

“My turn,” Robin clapped her hands as she stood up, grinning widely as Keith brought her rather heavy looking bag over, “Thank you.” She shared a quick look with Steve, something that everyone else seemed to miss. He rubbed the side of his temple, like he already knew it would be bad. 

“What did you get?” Vickie questioned as she began to dig through her bag, paper and glitter flying through the air as she did so. Kim leaned forward, trying to get a better look at it. 

“Fruitcake,” Robin responded, a tight smile forming on her lips, “Gee, thanks. I love fruitcake.” She nodded as she held up the loaf of fruitcake, lumpy and neatly browned. Steve covered his palm over his mouth, hiding away his grin. 

“My mom made it,” he said proudly, nodding his head, “Oh, but there’s a gift card in there.” He said at last, at least making it up to her in some way. At least he tried, even though Robin’s list had been long and detailed. 

“I also love shopping, so thank you,” she nodded as she put her items back in her bag, “Well, let’s keep going.” She pressed her lips tightly together, eyes crinkling as Steve nudged her foot with his. A little knowing gesture, reminding her that they would be discussing that later. 

Kim watched as the rest of them opened their presents, deciding that she would just prefer to go last anyway. She wasn’t too keen on everyone watching her, but she supposed she’d have to suffer like the rest of them had.

She held her fingers tightly together, trying to keep herself from chewing her lipstick off as everyone else engaged in conversation around her. She wasn’t really sure how to talk to anyone else, despite spending so much time working with them. Like she was an outsider. 

“Here,” she blinked up in surprise, not expecting for Steve to be the one that had her name, “I got this for you.” He clarified as he held it out towards her, his hair falling onto his forehead. It was slightly longer than it had been over the summer. 

“Thanks,” she mumbled, examining the wrapped present in front of her. It was messy, with at least five bows shoved on top of it to likely cover up the pieces of the wrapping paper that had come undone, “I’m sure I’ll love it.”

She gently ripped the paper apart, revealing a box that had the top messily folded in on itself. She pulled that open next, beginning to dig through the items. There were four different copies of various romance novels, new ones that she hadn’t read. A pink pair of fuzzy socks, a lotion and perfume set, and then a smaller box inside.

She pressed it open softly, eyes widening as she revealed the pair of earrings. There were two gems, a small circle one that rested against her earlobes and then a long oval one that would dangle. They were green, emeralds she assumed. Along the edges of the emeralds were smaller golden stones, making her sure that he had definitely gone over their twenty dollar budget. 

“Do you like it?” He asked her, his tone filled with just as many nerves as hers had been. She wasn’t sure how he thought she’d say no. Of course she loved it.

“Yeah,” she told him in surprise, blinking quickly, “It’s stunning. All of it. Thank you.” She told him quickly, feeling like her heart had only started to bleed harder. She wasn’t going to allow herself to feel the cracks, to break down. Not now. This was something good. 

“Good,” he smiled at her, lines forming underneath his eyes from where he was grinning so hard, “The green reminded me of your eyes.” He told her, leaving her surprised. She had never had anyone mention that the green stuck out. 

“We should do a round of white elephant.” Robin suggested as she clasped her hands together, taking Kim by surprise. She jumped as she quickly turned away from him, hoping that he didn’t feel that she was staring at him. She was just grateful. 

“What’s that?” Steve asked as he drew his eyes away, his eyebrows furrowing together at the way she smirked at him. She held her gift back up dramatically, giving it a little shake. 

“You get a chance to steal a present,” she nodded, smiling brightly, “And then that person gets to take someone else’s gift.” She gave her shoulders a little shrug, earning a little round of agreements through the room. Kim stared back down at the jewelry in her hands.

“Sure,” she glanced around, only because she didn’t want to be the only one to disagree, “That seems like fun.” She replied as she kept a tight grip on her present, unwilling to let it go. She didn’t think it would be right to give her present up, not when Steve had spent time thinking about what she would like. And how he had based a gift around her eyes. It was special. 

“I can start then,” Robin declared as she held her hands together, her blue eyes falling to Steve’s gifts on his lap, “Hand it over, Harrington.” She replied proudly with a smirk, moving her hand up to tug on the bottom of her scarf.

“No.” He said quickly as he pulled away, his eyebrows furrowed tightly together as he picked up his bag and held onto it tightly. She felt herself sighing underneath her breath, feeling relieved that he didn’t want to let it go so easily. 

“You have to.” Robin protested as she looked at him in disbelief, glancing around the room to wait for some kind of support. But no one else intervened. Kim liked Robin, but she didn’t want Steve to pass it along either. 

“I’m not giving it up.” He said as he shook his head sternly, looking serious as he clutched the bag closer to himself. She felt her chest lurch as he glanced towards her, amusement brewing inside his eyes. 

“That’s not how the game works.” She continued to protest, kicking her feet out this time as she whined. He shrugged his shoulders, looking like it wasn’t his problem. 

“Well I don’t care,” he retorted, “It’s mine and I’m not giving it up.” He replied as he leaned towards her, giving her a grin. She scoffed as she placed her palm over his face and roughly pushed him away. 

“You’re such a spoiled brat.” She huffed as she rolled her eyes, scanning the room as she tried to decide on who to attack next. Kim pulled her bag closer to herself, just to be safe. She tried to remain relaxed, however, just in case Robin was looking for someone that wanted to keep their gift.

“You’re just jealous that I got the best gift.” He replied proudly as he fussed with his now messy hair, then wiped at his face from where she had pushed him. Something inside of Kim bloomed from his words, excitement tickling the butterflies inside of her stomach. She hadn’t felt this giddy in a long time. It confused her. But she had long learned that the deeper she thought about her feelings, the more confused and upset she grew. It wasn’t worth meddling in. 

Robin tried a few more times before she ended up unsuccessful, stuck with her lumpy loaf of fruitcake. She felt bad, but she didn’t want to exchange with her either. Her gift truly did feel special. She couldn’t wait to tell Max about it and Susan-, even though she knew she’d be teased about it. 

No one tried to steal her gift, which she was happy with. She was sure that she wouldn’t be able to defend herself in the same way that Steve had. All the confidence she felt like she had gained over the summer had slowly seemed to slide away, disappearing just like he had. 

She took one more swig from her cup, wishing that there was something stronger in it as she downed the rest of the liquid. She checked the clock on the wall, confirming that Susan would be home by now. She just hoped that she hadn’t forgotten about her again. 

“Thanks for this again,” Steve approached her, making her jump once again. She laughed awkwardly as she rubbed at her chest, unsure of why she was so tense, “I really love it.” He told her as a soft smile spread across her lips, making her wonder why she had ever stopped liking him in the first place. 

“Well,” Keith grinned at the two of them, holding his items in hand as he wiggled his way between into the small gap, “I hope you don’t mind locking up.” He added slowly, making her blanch. 

“What do you mean?” Steve spoke up, looking just as irritable as she felt. She fought the urge to sigh and roll her eyes. She needed this job, but it was late. She wanted to get home and have a good cry. She thought she was allowed to do that. 

“You were on shift so,” he nodded his head as he looked at them back and forth, “I sort of need you to clean up.” He added as a kind smile filled his lips. She closed her eyes, feeling like she should’ve known there would’ve been a reason nobody else wanted this shift. 

“But this is everyone’s mess.” Steve gestured about, his expression dripping with frustration. She bit her lip as she shrugged her jacket off of her shoulders again, feeling like there was no point in arguing. She just hoped she’d be paid for it. 

“But you’re off tomorrow, so that’s fun!” Keith added as he clapped his hands together, the sound muffled from the mittens on his gloves. She supposed he was right. Maybe it was only fair. Or maybe she was just too tired to argue with him. 

“It’s fine,” Kim nodded her head, interjecting the two of them, “It won’t take long to finish up.” She tried to sound as encouraging as she could, even though she wanted to kick her feet in defeat. Closing always seemed so much worse when she was wanting to rush to get out. 

The glitter and garlands had seemed to be a good idea at first, but now it was more of a pain to get it all tore down. They ended up discarding them into old paper bags, unsure if anyone was wanting to keep them or not. Steve had already torn down two of the windows before she had asked if it was supposed to be kept up until the year was officially over. Neither of them knew the answer, so they went with no. 

Once the racks were back to normal and freshly organized after she had accidentally toppled once over, they decided it was good enough for them to leave. Everything looked like it was back to normal, for the most part. 

“I need to call my mom,” she said as she glanced at the time, “She’s supposed to come and get me.” She replied as she peeked out the windows again, noting how it was vacant. Steve’s car was the only one that was sitting there nicely, covered with a fresh layer of snow. 

“Sure,” he nodded his head, “I’ll wait.” He shrugged his shoulders as he leaned against the desk, his scarf wrapped loosely around his neck. 

She winced as she typed in the number, taking in a deep breath as she reminded herself that the phone bill had been paid. That couldn’t be the excuse this time. She listened as it rang and rang, and rang a little more. No answer. She hung the phone up in defeat, unsure of what she was supposed to say. 

“She’s not answering,” she pressed her lips together, trying not to think about what that meant, “It’s not a long walk from here.” She replied as she wrinkled her features up, thinking of how painful it would be. It was even colder than the last time she had done it. And it was much darker. She didn’t like walking in the dark around here. 

“You’re joking.” He replied as he stared at her in disbelief, his brown eyes wide as he quickly shook his head. She paused, not wanting to argue about this. 

“No,” she gulped, “I mean it’s fine.” She squeaked out as she glanced at how the snowflakes only seemed to get larger and fatter. She might freeze to death on the way home, but at least she tried.

“It’s snowing outside.” He pointed out as he gestured towards the parking lot that was covered in a thick layer of snow, making her lips part as she tried to think of a way to brush his statement off. Maybe she could sleep in the back office. 

“I’ll be okay.” She said once again, forcing a smile onto her lips. She felt like things could be worse. She was sure Susan just lost track of time. Maybe if she called again, she’d answer. Or Max would. 

“I can give you a ride home.” He told her in determination as he moved his hands to his hips, looking genuine. He spoke like he wasn’t going to give her another option. 

“It’s out of your way.” She told him seriously. It was way out of his way, on the opposite side of town actually. She would feel bad. And in all honesty, she was a little embarrassed of her current address. She wasn’t sure what he would think about the trailer park when he came from somewhere so nice. 

“Or you could come over,” he suggested slowly, his hands relaxing on his sides, “Just to like, hang or whatever.” He stated slowly, his expression relaxing as his gaze remained locked on hers. She shifted on her feet. 

“Oh.” She said softly, her tongue feeling heavy in her mouth as her face burned. She blinked as she began to tug on her hair, trying to keep from concentrating on the way her heart was beating inside of her chest. Had he really just asked her to come over?

“I have alcohol and weed,” he continued on, suddenly looking a little nervous, “And my parents aren’t back yet. It gets a little lonely.” He told her at last, making her eyebrows raise at the way he revealed his answer. She glanced back outside as she thought about it, deciding it was better than walking in the snow. And having to deal with Susan and her drinking problem.

And she’d finally be able to really hang out with him. On her own. It was terrifying yet exciting at the same time. She had no idea what she was going to say, how she was going to act. But she might not ever get a chance to do it again. 

“Okay,” she replied at last, “Sure, but I don’t want to intrude.” She added softly as she pressed her fingers together this time, feeling like she would only be bothering him. 

“You’re not,” he reassured her quickly, “And there’s a spare room. I could take you back tomorrow.” He pressed his lips together as he shifted the scarf over his shoulders again, his expression relaxed and kind. 

“I have nothing to wear.” She added again, not sure if she really wanted to sleep in her current outfit. She bit her bottom lip, watching as joy grew on his features. She felt her nerves spark to life again, wondering if she really deserved for him to look at her in that manner. 

“I could loan you something.” He shrugged his shoulders as he continued to watch her, his body relaxed and calm. She nodded her head once again, feeling like she was just trying to find excuses at his point. 

“Okay.” She told him as she gathered her things, fairly certain that he could tell just how shy she had become. She held onto her gifts tightly, waiting as he grabbed his keys. 

“Are you ready then?” he asked as he tilted his head, watching as she slowly nodded her head in agreement. There was nothing else she needed here, “You wanna share my extra warm scarf?” He asked as a playful smile formed on her lips, making her blush all over again. 

“You don’t have to wear it.” She told him seriously as they walked towards the door, still debating if she had gotten him the wrong thing. He stopped, turning to look back at her. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked seriously, “I love it.” He expressed deeply, a grateful expression on his features as he held the door open for her. She held her breath as she walked out into the blistering cold, her exposed skin burning as the wind swept into her. 

She sat out with him, scarf linked around both of their necks as he worked on getting the jammed door to shut. To get the door to lock, he had to wiggle it back and forth, then twist the key in just the right way. It was frustrating. 

“And we’re good,” he said after he rattled the door harshly, just to ensure that it was really locked, “It’ll take just a minute for the car to warm up.” He apologized as he quickly walked forward, nearly choking her out and knocking them both over in the process. He held his hands up quickly, an apologetic look on his features as he steadied her.

“It’s okay,” she said softly, smiling as she untangled herself from the scarf and fixed it over his neck instead, “Better than walking home in the cold.” She told him truthfully, feeling her bones rattling in her body from how cold it truly was. She really wouldn’t have made it back. 

“Right,” he nodded as he drifted his eyes across his features, “You’re probably not used to the snow.” He held his hands in his pockets as his eyes trailed down to her lips, his expression soft as she raised her eyebrows slightly. 

“I hate the cold.” She admitted, fighting back a grin at the way he started to move again. Like he realized that he had been staring. She followed him to his car, taking cautious steps to keep from slipping on the layer of ice underneath the snow. 

He held the door open for her, letting her get in first before he ran behind the car and reached the driver’s seat. She looked around at his neat car, breathing in the smell of citrus that lingered about. It was nice, different but in a good way. 

“Shit, it’s freezing,” he huffed as he started the car, quickly turning on the heat as the music roared to life. She blinked in surprise, not used to him listening to such loud and heavy music, “Sorry.” He mumbled as he quickly turned it down. She thought about asking him when his taste in music had changed, but she decided not to do it right now. 

“It’s alright,” she paused as she moved her hand forward, unable to stop herself, “You smoke?” She asked in surprise, a familiar feeling racing through her as she inspected the Marlboro Reds. They were heavy, like they had been untouched. 

“Uh,” he stalled for a moment, “Off and on.” He shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal. She nodded as she set them down, trying to recall if she had ever caught him smoking. She supposed that most people did; it was no big deal. Just surprising. 

“This brand?” She was unable to let it go for a moment, like it was some bitter reminder. She shook her head before she set them back down. 

“Sometimes,” he mumbled as his eyes drifted back towards her, “They’re really strong, though.” He admitted a moment later, bringing a smile to her lips. They really were strong, too intense for her to ever handle. 

“And stinky.” She said with a little giggle as she thought of how extreme the smell was. She often felt like she’d cough a lung up just by smelling it. 

“Really stinky.” He agreed with a little laugh as he laid his head back against the seat. She settled in the same, watching the gentle way the snowflakes fell onto the front of the car. She thought it was odd that she could still see the stars, however, but they were hard to hide away. 

They settled into silence as the car continued to warm, the heat finally beginning to blaze to life as she rubbed her fingers together. Steve was better at driving in this type of weather, used to it in a way that she would never be accustomed to. 

“You know, there was a while back that I mentioned my friend liking you? So I couldn’t break the friend code?” He spoke up suddenly, taking her by surprise as she looked away from where the trees were turning white. She thought about it for a moment as she nodded her head, trying not to recall how desperate she had been back then. 

“Uh,” she flushed as she thought about it, “Yeah, I remember.” She added as she moved her cold hands underneath her thighs, trying to keep them warm. She turned towards him as he remained silent. He had one hand on the wheel, the other placed near the top of his head as he stuck his tongue out in concentration. 

“Well, that friend is dating someone.” He said slowly as he stuck his tongue back in his mouth, keeping his gaze pointed straight ahead. She felt her eyes slightly narrowing, trying to decide where he was going with this. 

“I’m glad for them.” She said kindly, meaning it too. She knew who he was speaking about, but she wouldn’t put Robin on the spot like that. 

“So there’s not any code anymore,” he continued on, his voice lowering, “So maybe you'd want to go out sometime?” His tone was almost in a whisper by the time he finished speaking, his expression hopeful as he faced her again. She stared, momentarily taken aback. 

“On a date?” She questioned, searching for clarification as her mouth suddenly felt dry. Everything was warm, her face and her insides. This wasn’t the way she pictured him asking her out, but she would take it. 

“We could go to dinner or a movie, or even hang out here. Or at work.” He suggested as he used his one hand to gesture, shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal. Meanwhile, she was fighting the urge to keep from kicking her feet and squealing. 

“We do work together. Like all the time.” She reminded him lightly, sure that he could hear the excitement in her tone. She cleared her throat, trying to remind herself to stay calm. To be cool. 

“Yeah.” He replied with a smile on his lips, his eyebrows raising as he nodded his head at her answer. She pressed her lips together, moving into her next question. 

“Is that a good idea?” She asked him seriously, sure that things never went well when you got with a coworker. At least that’s what Addi had said. But what did she really know?

“We could find out,” he replied with a grin, “Come on, I’m a total gentleman.” He promised as he moved his hand over his chest, a sincere look in his eyes. She pressed a little smile to her lips, thinking that he was sincere. 

“Does this count as a date?” She asked him softly, feeling like it sort of counted. Then again, she hadn’t been on many dates. But she didn’t think there was a certain rule over what a date consisted of. 

“Absolutely,” he grinned as he pulled into a driveway, “As long as you’re alright with it.” He added a little softer, his gaze tender. Her heart hammered in her chest, fully aware of the way he was looking at her. It was different from the way Billy had watched her. 

“I am,” she replied softly, “I’m more than fine with it.” She told him truthfully, trying to ignore the guilt that was brewing inside of her. She had nothing to feel bad for. She was single. She was allowed to move on, with whomever she wanted. 

She carried her present into the house, glancing around in awe at how pretty the inside was. She knew the Harrington’s had money, but it was far more grand than she could’ve imagined. Perhaps the biggest house that she had ever set foot in.

The living room was vast, the fireplaces unlit but the room was still warm. Gold garland covered the room, neatly decorated in a specific and meaningful way. She could tell from the fresh smell and the way the branches were shaped that the tree was real. There were no lights on it, rather it was covered with the same golden garland. She took a step closer to it, admiring the various ornaments that decorated the limbs. 

“My mom really liked gold this year,” Steve spoke up from behind her, somewhere in the kitchen as she continued to scan the items on the tree, “She picks something new every year.” He continued to explain as she knelt down, admiring the foam gold star that was hanging from the tree limb. She flicked it around, smiling at the picture that rested there.

Steve couldn’t be any older than eight, his hair messy and over his forehead as he smiled brightly. It must’ve been a school project, something that he had worked on years ago. It was sweet. 

“So I’ve got uh,” he paused for a moment as he walked back into the room, “Some whiskey or we could smoke a little?” He suggested instead, his eyebrows cocked as she turned to face him. She thought about it for a moment, but decided that alcohol would be too dangerous for her. Anymore, she wasn’t very pleasant when she drank. 

“Smoking sounds like fun.” She nodded her head as she followed him, slowly stripping her layers off. She felt awkward standing in the large room, surprised with how large everything was. She wasn’t used to being in a place so grand. 

“It’s in my room,” he gestured back towards the stairs, chewing on his bottom lip, “It’s kinda messy.” He apologized as he met her eyes, but she simply shook her head. It couldn’t be any messier than the trailer was right now. 

“I don’t mind,” she told him truthfully, holding onto the railing as she followed him upstairs, “Your house is huge. It’s very pretty.” She complimented, surprised by how quiet it was. She supposed that was to be expected, however, considering that there were no nearby neighbors. He didn’t have to worry about Eddie Munson playing his guitar annoying loud at three in the morning. 

“That’s all thanks to my mom,” he paused as he glanced back towards her, “I guess you know her.” He crinkled his eyebrows together as she thought about it, reminding herself that she did know his mom. 

“Oh yeah,” she nodded her head as she stepped into the room behind him, “She saw me naked.” It slid off of her tongue before she could stop herself, her cheeks flushing as she winced.

“Kinda her job,” he said with a chuckle as he walked towards his bedside table, pulling out a baggy as she inspected the odd wallpaper designs, “Do you want to take a hit first?” He questioned as he slid onto the floor, stretching his long arms out in front of him. 

“You can.” She stated as she joined him on the floor. She crossed her ankles as she sat towards him, her knees brushing against his thigh. 

“You know how to smoke it?” He questioned her as he held the joint between his lips, looking at her curiously before he lit it. It had been a long time since she’d done it, but she sort of knew what she was doing. 

“Yeah,” she said with a little laugh, “I’ve done it before. Oh, but just once. I don’t smoke. Not really. My mom would freak out and I don’t like the taste.” She rambled on quickly, hoping that she wasn’t giving him the wrong idea. 

“It’s fine,” he smiled as he watched her, “You don’t have to explain anything to me.” He told her kindly as he took a deep inhale, dropping his head back before he blew the smoke out from between his lips. 

She held her fingers out as he passed it to her, trying to ignore the feeling of their fingers brushing together. She was suddenly nervous, her hand trembling as she brought the joint up to her lips. She tried not to think about how it had just been in her mouth, trying not to focus on if she might taste him on it.

She pressed it between her lips, praying that he couldn’t read just how nervous she was. She breathed in deeply, taking a larger hit than she would’ve preferred as she let the smoke settle in her lungs. She did her best to hold it for a second or two, but it smacked into her so roughly that she ended up coughing over it. 

“You alright?” He asked worriedly as he brought his palm against her back, lightly patting her skin to help her hack up the smoke that was still clawing its way out of her chest. Her eyes burned, watering as she tried to find the strength to speak. 

“Sorry,” she covered her mouth for a moment, her chest still rattling as she tried to hack up the smoke that was clinging to the bottom of her lungs, “That was a lot.” She told him weakly, a tear falling down her cheek as she passed the joint back towards him. 

“You did good, Mayfield,” he teased, the sound of her last name rolling off of his tongue nearly made her lungs swell once again, “Try it again.” He encouraged as she rubbed at her chest with her free hand. She breathed in fresh air before she did as he said, taking a smaller hit this time. So much for trying to impress him. 

They passed the joint back and forth until she felt a relaxing sensation settling over her. She felt like she was floating in the clouds, her mind calm and her body light. She crawled about the room, determined to inspect what she could. 

“You like Lord of the Rings?” She asked as she pulled the book towards her, excitement tingling in her stomach as she blinked a few times to read the title. Her eyes felt heavy, squinted as she realized she was wearing a goofy smile. 

Steve was standing for whatever reason, until she noted that he had put her things on his desk. He turned in surprise, eyebrows raising on his forehead as he looked at the book between her fingertips. 

“Oh, yeah,” he nodded his head quickly, hands resting on his hips, “It’s uh, it’s great.” He responded as he stuck his tongue out, eyebrows furrowing together like he was concentrating. Or remembering something. 

“Sam is my favorite character,” she told him gently, pressing her lips together at the way his eyes widened, like he was searching for something to say, “That’s my dads name.” She added softly as she put the book back, wrapping her fingers around one of the other drawer handles. 

“Your dad?” he questioned, features relaxing as his eyes warmed with interest, “Is your dad in San Diego?” He asked as he quickly joined her again, pressing his fingers against the drawer she nearly slid open. Like he was hiding something. She narrowed her eyes as she watched him, trying to determine if there was something secretive in there. She wanted to know.

“Mhm,” she nodded as she pressed her fingertips together, “He’s an alcoholic.” She stated, too tired to fight with his large hands. She moved around again, missing the expression on his features, before her legs felt like jello. Too much work, effort. She was limp. 

She giggled as she laid down on the floor, her hands resting above her head as she stared up at the ceiling. She wished she had her little stars that she could stick onto it, feeling like it would be very interesting to look at right about now. 

“What are you laughing about?” He asked as he joined her, resting on his side as he laid his cheek in his palm. She watched him, trying not to stare at the way his shirt pulled up in the process. She could make out about an inch of skin, just enough to show the trail of hair that dipped into his pants. 

“I can’t believe I’m in your house.” She said as she slowly brought her eyes up towards him again, holding her hands together as another smile formed on her lips. She was sure that she had just gotten caught staring, but she couldn’t worry about it at the moment. 

“Why?” He furrowed his eyebrows as his expression slowly relaxed, the corners of his lips curling into a smile. Like the weed had finally hit him. 

“I thought you hated me.” She told him seriously, softly. She was exposing a secret, one that she was sure he didn’t know. But then again, maybe he had hated her at one point. 

“Hated you?” he asked, tilting his head in disbelief, “I never hated you. I told you the whole thing with Rob-, I mean my friend, I couldn’t just intervene.” He said with a serious nod of his head, a small laugh slipping from his lips. 

“Alright.” She narrowed her eyes playfully before she turned back towards the ceiling, wondering if she could make out any designs from that far up. She held her hands out in front of her, stretching her fingers out as she did so. 

“I didn’t think you were actually into me anyway,” he said, making her crinkle her eyebrows together as she looked at him in disbelief, “Okay, maybe you made it a little obvious.” He admitted as he laughed, making her giggle all over again. 

“I’ll be embarrassed about that tomorrow.” She said as she roughly dropped her hands to her sides, wincing at the hard way she hit the floor. She knew she had been obvious about it. Damn it. 

“You shouldn’t be,” he huffed as he turned her chin in his direction, “I also liked you.” His tone was softer, huskier as he admitted it to her. She giggled again, surprised at how close they were to one another. 

“But you didn’t do dumb things like I did.” She told him honestly, thinking about how she would desperately search for him no matter where she went. Even if it was grocery shopping with Susan. She sought him out. It was embarrassing. 

“What did you do?” He asked suddenly, tilting his head as his eyes lingered on her lips again. He had a similar goofy smile on his lips, only she was sure that he wore it a lot better than she did. 

“Nothing,” she said quickly, thinking of her stupid journal. Good riddance to it. Steve would never know about it, “You’re being tricky.” She pushed at his shoulder gently, her fingers remaining as he moved back against her. 

“Am I?” He teased her, his hand falling to the side of her face. She was aware of how hard her heart was beating against her bones as he slowly tucked her hair behind her ear. She gulped hard, recalling the similar motions. He rubbed his fingers across her cheek next, then against her chin. 

“Are you a virgin?” She asked him suddenly, unsure of why that slipped off of her tongue. It made her laugh all over again. It was a ridiculous question, but she was curious. 

“Am I a-,” he paused as he looked at her, his expression turning to disbelief before he started to laugh, “Did you really ask me that?” He laughed, the gap between their faces suddenly fading. 

“I did,” she confirmed with a nod of her head, feeling a grin form on her lips, “I know you’re not.” She said at last, tracing her finger across the design on his sweater. 

“And how do you know that?” His question surprised her, because it wasn’t uncommon knowledge at all. She had heard a lot of things when she first moved here. 

“Lots of girls talk,” she explained, “And I heard about how you took Nancy’s virginity.” She teased as she thought about it, thinking about how badly she had wanted him to take hers. She was silly back then. 

“Tommy?” He grumbled as he asked, sighing like he already knew. She bit her lip, wondering if she should give the answer away. 

“He has a big mouth,” she giggled as she held her hands to her chest, “I like him though. He’s sweet.” She admitted as she nodded her head roughly. Even though Tommy was gone now, and he could be a dick. 

“Only because he wants to get into your pants.” He grumbled as he fell down next to her, resting his arms behind his head. His shirt lifted higher this time, all the way up to his belly button. She stared greedily, wondering if he liked when people kissed that exposed area of his skin. 

“What was your favorite thing to do during sex?” She interrogated him as she rolled onto her side this time, doing everything she could to keep from reaching out and touching him. She suddenly felt warm, like there was energy buzzing inside of her. 

“What’s with all the sex questions?” He turned towards her, a lazy look resting across his features as his lips curled into an even deeper grin. He thought she was teasing him, but she really wasn’t. But she was still with it enough to know that she shouldn’t admit to being horny right now. 

“I haven’t had sex in a long time,” she admitted, “Well-,” She paused as she counted on her fingers, then restarted once she lost track, “Almost five months. Which is a long time, but not the biggest stretch I’ve ever had, you know?” She spoke out loud, surprising herself. Maybe he didn’t want to know that. 

“You’re odd.” He said at last, laughing as he looked at her. It took her a moment to realize that he was being funny too. It would not be fun to get kicked out of his house in this condition. 

“I think I miss sex,” she whispered underneath her breath, watching the way his hazy eyes widened, “But like a specific kind of sex, you know? Were you like that?” She asked him, feeling like he could relate to a heartbreak or two. There had been Nancy and then there was Gina. Poor guy faced it back to back. 

“I’m still in a rut,” he muttered as he exhaled deeply, wrinkling his nose up, “But yeah, I guess I know what you mean.” He was staring at the wall this time, looking to be deep in through. 

She continued to let her eyes drop back to his exposed stretch of skin, imagining herself crawling over to him. She thought about placing her lips just above his jeans, then kissing up towards his belly button. She wondered if it was wrong that she wanted to taste him, just to flick her tongue out and tease him a little bit. 

“What kind of sex do you miss?” He asked curiously, drawing her out of her dirty thoughts. She could vaguely feel the warmth dipping down between her legs, making her clit throb in pleasure. There was a lot of sex that she missed. All of it. 

“Blowjobs,” she answered quickly, surprising herself, “I don’t know why I just said that.” She said with wide eyes, covering her mouth as she muffled her laughter. He sat up, sadly making his shirt slid back down in the process. 

“You haven’t been with anyone else, right?” He asked her curiously, his eyes slightly reddened. She looked at how messy his hair was, like he had been messing with it. 

“Is that a problem?” she asked seriously, feeling a little worried, “No, I haven’t been with anyone else. But I think I know what I’m doing.” She replied as confidently as she could. At least, she thought she was doing a good job. 

“Are you bragging?” He questioned her, looking whimsical. But maybe he was admiring her once again. She couldn’t really tell. Not in this state. 

“No,” she replied quickly, a goofy smile forming on her lips, “I’m just saying that I’m somewhat experienced. I think.” She added at last, giggling as she brought her hands over her face.

“Are you going to ask me what I miss?” He hummed, suddenly leaning over her as he pulled her hands away from her face. She stared up at his big brown eyes, enjoying the shape of them. There was something about them that made her feel warm, wanted. She kept herself near him, not wanting him to move his fingers away from her wrists. 

“Oh, yes,” she nodded her head urgently, “What do you miss about sex, Steve Harrington?” She asked as she bit down on her bottom lip, stretching her legs out as she shifted softly. She wondered if he knew just how much this was effecting her. 

“I liked eating pussy,” he said as he rolled on his back, sighing deeply, “I mean I like it. I just haven’t been able to do it in a while.” His expression was almost sinister, showing just how much he craved it. 

“Why?” she wondered out loud, “You’ve had dates.” She pointed out as she moved her fingers down towards his, lacing them gently. She expected him to pull away, only to be surprised as he held onto her tighter. 

“Easy, quick sex,” he confirmed with a nod of his head, “Nothing fun.” He crinkled his nose up, taking her by surprise. She didn’t hear many guys say that. 

Their eyes locked so intensely that she wondered if he knew what she was thinking, or at least could read it by her expression. Her heart was beating roughly, shaking against her organs and bones. She wondered if he looked close enough that he could see the outline. She felt exposed, but noted that part of him was also laid open for her to discuss.

“You’re really beautiful, Kimberly Mayfield.” His tone was soft, barely louder than a whisper as his eyes drifted across her features. His expression was dreamy, eyes filled with a tender look as his free hand moved to her cheek again. 

“Rose.” She whispered back, slightly stunned by the amorous gaze that remained in his brown eyes. He looked far more fond than she was prepared for. 

“What?” He asked as a little chuckle left his lips, his head moving back and forth in confusion. She grinned as she moved her hand to his hip. She could feel the electricity brewing underneath her fingertips, driving her wild. 

“My full name is Kimberly Rose Mayfield.” She corrected as she tilted her head up towards him, lightly bumping her tiny nose against his strong one. She lingered there for a moment, breathing it all in. 

“Oh, my bad,” he apologized with a laugh, holding his hand over his chest, “Then you’re very beautiful, Kimberly Rose Mayfield.” He stated correctly this time, something sentimental hiding underneath his expression. 

“Thank you,” she laughed hysterically for a moment, her lungs burning and insides twisting, “I appreciate it.” She told him softly as she sat up closer, her lips parting as his eyes fell to her mouth again. 

He leaned forward slowly, his eyes hazy and slightly squinted as his sweet breath fanned over her face. She felt her heart stalling in her chest, unmoving as his mouth fell against hers. She felt her eyes fluttering shut, a warmth spreading from where their mouths met.

He kissed her softly, gently, like he was somehow nervous. Which didn’t make sense, because how could he be timid around someone like her? His large hand fell against her jawline, his thumb pressing against her cheek as he dragged his lips slowly across hers.

It took another second for her mind and her body to connect, to really feel the rush of his skin against her own as she moved closer. She kissed him just as hesitantly, something new and exciting. It was sensual, more subtle than what she was used to. 

She sat up on her elbows as her body flushed as he slid between her legs, his body soft and lanky as she dragged her lips harder against his. He fell against her, his body flush against hers as she laced her fingers through his hair. Soft groans filled the air, sparking excitement through her body as she felt herself growing wet against her panties. Hot. She was suddenly too hot.

Steve’s nose brushed against hers as he pulled away slowly, exhaling roughly as he fought to catch his breath. But she was already too far gone, desperate for the feeling of him on her once again. She was greedy, she wanted more. One taste wasn’t enough for her.

Her lips fell against the corner of his mouth, kissing softly as little pants fell from his swollen lips. She flicked her tongue out as she licked away the leftover saliva, unsure if it was hers or his. It didn’t really matter. He tasted sweet, like grapes and a hint of chocolate from the candy bar he had shared with her. 

She was on top of him this time, straddling his lap as her hands fell to his jaw. She ran her palms across his smooth skin as she continued to drag her tongue across the curve of his mouth. She licked away his moans, spurred by the feeling of her clit throbbing against her panties. 

He breathed in deeply, exhaling just as roughly as he placed his palm against hers. She stared for a moment, tilting her head as she compared the way his fingers were far longer than hers. There was something sensual in the way he held onto her, how he looked at her. She craved more of it. 

“Did you try them on?” He asked suddenly, licking his bottom lip as he squeezed their fingers together softly. She moved forward, fighting every urge in her to keep from grinding her hips down against him. 

“What?” She questioned after she thought about it for a minute, trying to decide what he was talking about. He laughed softly, looking like he was still out of breath. 

“The earrings.” He clarified as he continued to look at her lips, like he was resisting the urge to kiss her again. She wondered if she had pushed him too far based on how he had changed the topic. 

“Oh,” she paused as she brought her eyes back towards his, her chest rising and falling roughly, “No, not yet. Do you want me to?” She asked, more than willing to do whatever he wanted.

“You don’t have to.” He shook his head softly, but she was already standing. His fingers fell from her hands, slowly tracing the curve of her long legs instead. 

“Hold on,” she told him softly, giggling as she pulled her box free. She looked around the room before she decided otherwise, “I’ll be right back.” She told him as she held one finger up, racing out of the room before he could say otherwise. 

She searched for a moment before she found the bathroom; setting up the area for herself. She pushed her hair out of her face, confirming that her makeup looked alright before she slid her earrings in. Then she went to work.

It took a whole thirty seconds for her to convince herself that stripping down was worth the risk of Steve shooing her out of his room. He seemed interested in her thus far, she was sure that he would like this. At least she hoped that he would.

“Close your eyes,” she spoke up quickly as she stood outside the door, thinking about how mortified she’d be if his parents caught her, “Are they closed?” She asked, listening to the little hum in confirmation.

She slowly moved into the room, then shut the door behind her as she examined the way he was sitting on the edge of his bed. His large palms were over his shut eyes, his light smile exposed as she moved in front of him.

She decided that settling on her knees was best, but truly had no idea if that looked sexy or not. She just went with it, hoping for the best as she moved her hands onto her palms. She breathed in deeply, knowing she needed to speak before she made herself too nervous.

“You can open your eyes.” She told him gently, her nerves hidden away from the weed in her system as he removed his hands quickly. He still had a giddy expression on his features until he took her in, all of that sliding away as he inspected her.

His pink lips spread as an awestruck expression filled his face, his eyes falling towards her perky tits, and staying there for some time. She bit her bottom lip, trying not to fuss with her hair as his eyes continued to linger over her body. 

“What are you doing?” His voice came out like a squeak, higher pitched and whiny as she moved her fingers to loosen his belt. His eyes darkened, filling with lust as he continued to stare after her movements. 

“I want to make you feel good,” she hummed softly, “Is that alright with you?” She tilted her head as she watched him, confirming the way he nodded his head slowly before she began to tug on his jeans. She needed them off. Now. 

“Okay,” he breathed out, cheeks burning pink as he shifted his hips up so she could pull his pants down easily. She moved her fingers across his large bulge, excitement pooling in her stomach as she greedily eyed him, “You really don’t have to-,” 

His words cut off as she stuck her tongue out, dragging the flat part across his concealed hard on. He yelped at the sensation, his head dropping back as she continued to trace her tongue across his briefs. 

She moaned as she looped her fingers around the band of his briefs and tugged them down his hairy thighs to expose his hardened cock. She stared, jaw dropping as his dick sprang free. He was long, much bigger than what she was used to. He wasn’t quite as thick, but she wasn’t worried about that. Her fingers fit around his girth perfectly. 

It was odd to think that a dick was pretty, but his really was. He was slightly paler, his tip a soft pink and leaking against his skin. His balls were round, heavy and resting against a thick tuft of dark hair. She followed the thick base of his cock, observing as it slowly evened out, his dick curving towards the right. 

“S’pretty,” she mumbled out, biting down on her bottom lip as she pressed her fingers slowly around his girth. He whimpered at the feeling, his hips thrusting forward as a gleeful sound left her lips, “Stevie, you have a really nice cock.”

“Thanks,” he squeaked out, staring at her as she gave his cock a little stroke. She chewed on her inner cheek as she looked at the way his precum collected at his tip, leaking over onto her fingers, “S’nice.”

She stuck her tongue out against his pink tip, licking away his slick and savoring it in her mouth. She moaned at the taste, so bitter and musky. So him. She felt a little feral, needy as she slid her lips over his leaking tip. Lust boiled inside of her as she sucked softly, flicking her tongue out against his warm skin gently. 

“Oh,” he groaned as he dropped his head once again, his fingers gripping his blankets tightly as her lips stretched along his smooth skin. She kept her eyes focused on the way his shut, how he knitted his eyebrows together in bliss, “That’s-, that’s really nice.” He moaned, lips parting in bliss. 

It took everything in her to keep from closing her eyes and savoring the taste of his cock in her mouth. She was sure that she could sit there for hours, her mouth stuffed full as she drooled around him. It was heavenly.

And his eyes remained closed. She couldn’t have that. She needed him to look at her, to appreciate her. She pulled away. 

“Eyes on me,” she giggled softly as she squeezed his chin, forcing his eyes down towards her. He looked at her surprised, cheeks slightly flushed as he nodded his head, “And take your shirt off.” She demanded, surprised at her own bossy tone. Not quite commanding, but she did sound bratty. 

He nodded his head as he watched her, his movements quick as he struggled to get the sweater off of his head. She grinned as she watched, enjoying the way his soft muscles moved. He was more lanky, softer and covered in dark hair. But she liked it all the same.

The hair from his chest reached clear down to his dick, a nice trail that she let her fingertips follow. She watched as goosebumps formed on his mole covered skin, many places for her to explore later. 

She kissed up his abdomen, leaving a trail of saliva behind as she reached his belly button. She moaned, unable to help herself as she kissed along the cute little area. A smile leaving her lips before she stuck her tongue out against the soft hole, taking a soft lick of him. A little gasp left his lips as he moved his hips upward, his spit soaked dick brushing against her chin. She giggled at the sensation. 

“Do you want me to suck your cock?” She questioned him as she laced her fingers across his girth again, giving him a little squeeze. He groaned at the sensation, hips jerking at the way her free hand gripped his balls. 

“You have a dirty mouth,” he said as his chest rose and fell harshly, his cheeks pink from how out of breath he was, “Really dirty.” His lips looked swollen, like he had been biting on them too much. 

“Do you mean slutty?” She giggled as she traced her nails through the hair near his balls, “You can call me a slut. Or a whore. I don’t mind.” She told him honestly, wiggling a little closer to him. She liked being called all of those things. 

“I-,” he paused as he stared at her, his eyes wide as he continued to stare at her in admiration, “You’re something else.” He spoke in disbelief, fascination swirling underneath his dark eyes as she gave his long cock another slow stroke. 

She felt confident at the sounds that left his lips, how breathless and whiny he became as she pressed her lips up against his tip again. She gave him a little kiss, trying to fight the urge to smile before she slid his dick inside of her mouth. 

His eyes became hooded as he stared at her, his pretty lips parting as she began to slowly bob her mouth up and down the curve of his cock. She pressed her tongue out slowly, following the strong vein as she moved her hands down to his balls. She squeezed them softly, earning a louder groan from him. 

The sounds of pleasure that rolled off of his tongue were whiny, higher pitched and breathless as she rolled her tongue around his cock. She felt greedy as she slipped more and more of him into her mouth, craving the validation that he gave her as his eyes locked onto hers tenderly. 

“S’beautiful,” he groaned as he pushed her hair out of her face, gasping at the way she continued to lock eyes with him. She furrowed her eyebrows together as his cock hit the back of her throat, far quicker than what she was used to, “God. You feel so good.” 

She continued to squeeze at his balls, massaging them softly as she worked on taking his cock deeper in her mouth. She let some saliva fall from her lips, coating the part that she couldn’t stuff into her mouth quite yet. But she was determined. 

She gagged as she pushed more of his curved cock into her mouth, her lips stretching around his girth as drool slid over his heavy balls. He whined as he thrust his hips forward, whimpering as his eyes began to flutter shut. Bliss spread over his features as his moans became deeper, louder. 

She drooled around him, saliva falling from the corners of her lips as she buried more of his cock inside of her mouth. She could feel his tip dragging against the back of her throat, making her gag repeatedly as she continued to bob her head up and down the curve of his cock.

The sound of her lips around his cock was messy, filthy as drool continued to fall from her mouth. She could feel it on her boobs, on her knees as it continued to coat his balls. Her eyes watered as she successfully pressed his cock all the way into her mouth, her lungs burning and lips aching at the stretch of it all. She had never had something so deep inside of her throat, making it contract and throb at the same time. 

“Fuck, fuck,” he grunted as he tangled his fingers through her hair, his hips moving furiously to the motions of her mouth, “Sorry, m’sorry. Feels so good. Fuck, sorry. Can’t help it.” He spit out roughly, his tone whiny and desperate as he continued to fuck into her mouth.

She continued to gag around him, forcing her eyes to stay open as she watched the desperation that filled out on his features. His eyes were filled with lust, with awe and amazement as he roughly began to press his hips up against her motions. 

“Fuck!” he snapped his hips forward harshly, his fingers gripping her hair tightly as he buried his dick in her throat. She moaned at the look on his features, at the way his thighs shook as his cock twitched inside of her mouth, “Oh fuck, sorry. M’sorry, so sorry.” He apologized, his hot cum filled her mouth, making her eyes burn from how intense it was. 

She moaned as she pulled away, a mess of spit and cum leaking from her mouth and his cock as she breathed in fresh air. Her lungs screamed at the feeling, desperate for more as her chest rose and fell heavily. 

He stared at her in awe, his lips spread widely as he pressed his hands roughly through his hair. Little whimpers continued to leave his mouth as his cock fell against his skin, still coated in her spit.

She pulled herself up slowly, her legs shaking as she straddled his lap. It took only a little push to knock him onto his back, to earn another groan from him as his dick slid between his abdomen and her thigh. 

His lips were puffy and pink, pretty. She dragged her fingertips across them slowly, spreading them just enough to peek at his teeth. They were shiny and bright, nice. She didn’t think as she pressed her lips together, slowly spitting the mixture of cum and saliva into his mouth. 

He stared at her wide-eyed, a similar look on his features as a loud moan left his lips. He swallowed it harshly, his hands falling to her hips as he began to rock up against her. He hissed at the sensation, desperation laced on his features.

“I need you so badly.” He whined as he rutted up against her pathetically, his features knitted in pleasure. She giggled at the way pleasure spread through her body again. Her cunt was soaked, aching and desperate to feel him too. But she waited. She liked being in control for once.

“What do you need?” she teased as she pressed her fingers against his chin, “Use your words.” She whispered softly, enjoying the way he melted in her hands. He rutted his cock up against her again, whimpering. 

“Wanna taste your pussy,” he exhaled harshly, “Please. Let me taste you. I’ll make you feel good.” He promised as he dug his fingers into her fleshy hips. He nodded his head, trying to encourage her. She really wished she was strong enough to tease him a little longer, but she wanted him just as desperately.

A giggle fell from her lips as he rolled her over, her back resting comfortably against his soft sheets. She grinned as she sat up on her elbows, enjoying the greedy way his eyes drank in the image of her. She stuck her foot out playfully, poking his side gently with the tips of her toes.

Steve slid right in between her legs, nestling comfortably against her thighs as he dipped his face down towards hers again. A soft smile formed on his lips before he pecked her mouth; once and then twice. It made her pulse soar, butterflies rising in her tummy even though it was just a simple touch. He had such a way of making her heart throb. 

Her eyes felt even heavier as she watched his lips slowly trail down the length of her body, his lips soft and smooth as he ran his large hands across her sides. She breathed in deeply as goosebumps formed underneath his touch, her nipples hardening as he flicked his tongue out across the curve of her boobs.

She moaned at the feeling of his lips around her nipple, kissing and sucking softly before he switched to the next one. His groans vibrated across her skin, his breath hot against her skin before he pulled away again.

She felt like she was on fire as he spread her legs further apart, squeezing his shoulders between her thighs before he gripped her hips gently. He had a cocky look in his eyes, his expression full of want as he exhaled warmly across her slick cunt.

She moaned as she felt a heavy sensation settling over her, her mind feeling fuzzy as his lips fell right above her pussy. She inhaled sharply, lungs burning as her clit throbbed in anticipation.

“She’s so wet for me,” he groaned softly as he drifted his fingers lightly through her folds. She lurched forward, desperate to be touched, “Can I taste you?” He questioned as his eyes met hers, her pulse racing harshly against the crook of her neck.

“Yes,” she finally managed to breath out, her eyes locked on the way he rolled his tongue out against his bottom lip; “Please.” She added softer, unsure if she could relay just how needy she really was.

His dark eyes drifted away from hers, his eyelids hiding his lust as he took a deep inhale of her scent. She blushed then, stomach twisting at the groan that fell from his lips. It was deep and carnal, like he’d been waiting for this moment. 

She jolted at the feeling of his broad tongue across her cunt, slow and timid like he was savoring the taste of her. Everything inside of her burned, her thighs twitching at the sensation.

“Steve,” slipped from her lips easily, her mind growing foggy at the way he continued to slide his tongue through her folds, “Oh fuck.” She sighed in relief, body trembling underneath his greedy grip. 

His fingertips dug into her fleshy thighs, gripping her tighter as he buried his head closer to her as he pressed his tongue rougher against her clit. He was delicate, yet intense at the same time as he memorized the way her sensitive bud was shaped.

Deep moans left her lips as he slowly wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking roughly before he flickered his tongue out. She crooned as her fingers fell to his thick hair, tugging on his strands of hair as her hips left the mattress. He groaned from between her legs, his movements sloppy yet calculated. 

“Oh my God,” she whined deeply, her lungs tightening in pleasure while he pressed the tip of his tongue across her wet hole. Her walls trembled as he took broad licks of her cunt, grunting as his fingertips dug deeper into her hips, “Right there. Oh God.” She chanted, her eyes rolling into the back of her head as he greedily lapped at her cunt. 

Her feet dragged against the mattress as the pleasure burned deep inside of her veins, electricity brewing inside of her stomach as his sounds of pleasure vibrated through her body. She gaped as she gripped his hair tighter, rocking her body up against his mouth. 

Her toes curled in bliss as he curled his tongue deeper inside of her pussy, licking and prodding in rhythm to the way she was rocking her hips across his mouth. She gripped his hair harder, twisting the locks between her fingers as loud whines fell from his lips. 

His nose dug against her clit as he curled his tongue deeper inside of her cunt; licking at her sloppy walls. She was leaking around his tongue, against his lips as the muscles inside of her stomach tightened and shook. She whined loudly, her moans bouncing off of the walls as her orgasm suddenly crashed over her.

“Steve, Steve!” Whimpers rolled off of her tongue, her chest rising and falling harshly as her cunt clamped down around his tongue. Her clit ached as he dug his face in deeper, his nose pressing roughly against her sensitive bud as her body vibrated from her orgasm, “Oh fuck.” She crooned, hips rolling off of the bed and against his greedy mouth.

He continued to lap at her, moaning as he licked away her cum. His eyes were heavy and dark as he looked back up at her, a look of desperation on his features as remnants of her cum stained his face. It was filthy, but she liked it. A lot.

“So beautiful,” He groaned as he pressed a fingertip against her slick hole, lips parting at the same time a gasp left her tongue, “She’s so needy for me. Taking me so well.” He rambled as he slid his finger inside of her slowly, making her gape at the sensation.

His digits were long and slender, instantly pressing up against her bundle of nerves with one slight curl. Whimpers fell easily from her lips as he pumped his finger in and out of her sloppy hole, 

She tugged him forward by his hair, earning a loud groan from him before she flicked her tongue out against his swollen lips. She messily lapped at his lips, devouring the taste of herself. His breath was hot against her face as he pulled away, brown eyes wide with lust.

She chewed on her bottom lip as she kept their eyes linked, rolling her hips forward slowly as soft whines fell from her lips. His finger felt glorious inside of her, but she enjoyed the reaction she was gaining from him too much to focus on her own pleasure.

She wrapped her fingers around his wrist lazily, giving his hand a little squeeze before she slowly pulled him away from her. He watched with heavy eyes as she placed his finger in her mouth, moaning as she wrapped her lips around his long digit. She couldn’t help the way she moaned and drooled around him, the fire inside of her was burning too harshly. 

“Jesus Christ,” he moaned as she continued to swirl her tongue between his fingers, greedily licking away the taste of her on his flesh, “what are you doing to me?” He shook his head as he looked at her in disbelief, parting her lips just enough that he could get a good look at her teeth and gums. Then at her tongue. 

“I want you,” she whispered underneath her breath, her chest rising and falling harshly, “Please. I want to feel your cock inside of me.” She mumbled as he pulled his hand away, drool sliding onto her chin and neck. 

“Jesus.” He spit out harshly, shaking his head as lust took over his features again. He looked just as depraved as she felt, like he would bite her if she asked. She wanted that. She wanted everything that he had to offer. 

“I’ll be good,” she continued on, purring as she ran her nails through his chest hair, “Real good. I promise. Let me make you feel good again.” She pleaded with him, picturing him spread out underneath her as she bounced on his cock. She thought he’d like that a lot. 

“I want to make you feel good,” he offered up inside, pressing his large hands against her shoulders as he shoved her back. She pouted as her head hit the pillows, but didn’t whine for too long as he spread her legs, “God, you’re so beautiful.” He praised loud enough for her to hear, his words sincere as he wrapped his fingers around his cock. He moved away for a second, heading towards his bedside table. 

“I’m on the pill,” she spoke up quickly, determined to feel all of him, “It’s okay. I promise.” She nodded her head as she pressed her hands flat against his chest, grinning as she felt his heart beating underneath her touch. 

“You-,” he repeated the word slowly, a thoughtful look behind his eyes as a flush settled on his cheeks, “You don’t want me to wear a condom?” He asked her slowly, as lust and shock mixed on his pretty features. She giggled as she leaned forward, dragging her tongue across the curve of his ear.

“I wanna feel your cock inside of me,” she moaned softly as her hands fell to his back, her nails digging into his skin, “I want you to cum inside of me. Please.” She whimpered as she spoke, her teeth grazing against his earlobe before she bit down.

He groaned, body pulsing against hers as he slowly moved away once again. She was unable to fully read the lust in his eyes as he positioned himself between her legs once again, his hairy thighs pressing against the back of hers as he aligned his cock with her pink cunt. 

She pressed her knees up to her chest as he slowly slid his tip inside of her puffy walls, making her head spin in pleasure as she stretched along his long cock. She sighed at the way his dick curved inside of her, pressing into her easily. 

She flickered her eyelashes as she looked upon him, breathing in the look of pleasure on his expression as he continued to slowly press his hips into her tight pussy. His eyebrows furrowed, lips parting as pitiful moans rolled off of his tongue. He was loud and whiny, different from what she was used to. But she liked it all the same, his sounds of bliss made her stomach coil and twist in awe. 

“Fuck,” he whimpered underneath his breath, making her squeal at the way he bottomed out and then quickly snapped his hips forward once again. It slightly hurt, just a bit, but not enough where it wasn’t pleasurable. She had just never been filled this deeply before, so intensely, “You feel so good, baby. So fuckin’ good.” He praised wantonly, sounding more desperate than what she was used to.

Her knees were beginning to ache as he placed his weight on top of her, his hips snapping into her rougher as the curve of his cock pressed deep inside of her. She sighed as each inch slid into her, filling her so deeply that her lungs stretched and ached. Her clit throbbed as he came to a halt, whining as he bottomed out inside of her.

“Stevie,” she whined as she drifted her hands down his spine, fingertips brushing against the constellations on his skin, “So big. Feels nice.” She told him between gasps, a crooked smile forming on her lips as he continually pressed against her bundle of nerves. She wasn’t even sure if he was meaning to do so, but it left her clit aching and cunt twitching around him. 

Her nails dug into his skin as he began to rock his cock in and out of her sloppy walls, the sounds of their bodies meeting instantly filling the room. It was loud and filthy, dirty. But it blended nicely with their sounds of pleasure, which were whiny and ravenous. 

“Your pussy feels so good,” he praised as he knit his eyebrows harder together, his hips continually snapping against hers as he buried his cock as far as he could reach. Her eyes kept rolling into the back of her head, the electrifying pleasure of his cock strumming against her g-spot left her limp, “Taking my cock so well. Fuck, fuck. You look so beautiful, Kim. So fucking pretty.” He spit out between whines, complimenting her as his lips fell against her cheek.

She rolled her hips up to meet his motions, whining at the way the tip of his cock continually pressed against her deepest crevices. She was crying out this time, her nails scratching at his skin as she tilted her head in his direction. She met his lips sloppily, swapping spit and sounds of bliss as her cunt hugged his cock snugly. 

She could feel his balls pressing against her skin, soaked with her slick as he roughly pressed himself into her each time. His thrusts were labored and intense, short and rough before he was burying himself inside of her again. Her lips were dragging against his, not fully kissing him as the pleasure took hold of her. Everything on her was burning, fiery and rough as she clawed at him desperately.

“Steve,” she pleaded from the corner of his mouth, whining as she dug her nails into him harder. She was sure she was cutting skin this time, scratching at him for more than just his skin, “Wanna feel you cum inside of me. Please, please. Fill me up, baby.” She crooned as she cupped his face, watching the way his expression broke. 

Something carnal seemed to snap inside of him as his movements became rougher, deeper in some mystical way. Her moans became pleas, loud cries as he dragged her along the curve of his cock. He was desperate, small rambles leaving swollen lips as he crooned loudly. Whining just as loud as she rolled her hips up against his movements.

His head fell to the crook of her shoulder, sweaty and hot as a lewd sound left his lips. Deep and distressed as he buried himself deep inside of her, his balls snug against her skin as his cock trembled against her wet walls.

“Fuck,” he cursed as he drew out his words, spit falling from his lips and onto her skin as he dug his nails into her flesh. His cock throbbed inside of her as thick ropes of cum painted her walls, filling her deeply and leaking out of her slick hole, “Oh Jesus, Kim.” He whined as he reached down, rubbing at her clit as he continued to softly thrust his hips forward.

He was still whining as she roughly began to grind her hips up against him, desperately clinging to him as her muscles tightened inside of her stomach again. She held onto him tightly, crying out as the pleasure pulsed inside of her. She cried out, toes curling as it all crashed over her.

Her cunt squeezed around his girth as she came to a halt, hips pressed up against his wildly as she leaked around the curve of his cock. She came so harshly her eyes rolled into the back of her head once again, curses flying off of her tongue as she melted deeper into the mattress. 

She breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of him as her grip on him slowly released. He was still moaning as he held onto him, fucking his hips into her like he was trying to get all of his pleasure released. It made her giggle, made her felt special. 

“Can I be honest with you?” He asked suddenly, still out of breath as he turned his gaze up towards her. She breathed in the image of his blissed expression, his eyes filled with awe. 

“Sure.” She told him softly, taking in a deep breath as her chest pressed up against his. His lips curled into a little smile, his eyes still squinty as he brushed his fingers through her hair. 

“I’ve never read Lord of the Rings.” He admitted, like it was some big secret. It set her off suddenly, making her laugh as she thought about it. It was funny. This was funny, but it was nice. She wanted more of it. 

“I know,” she said with a little giggle, “It doesn’t look like it’s ever been open.” She admitted as she ran her fingers across his skin, smiling as she brushed their noses together. His was strong and long, different than hers. 

“I hate reading.” He groaned softly as he shook his head, his hair falling onto her forehead. She hummed as she registered his words, sure that she could change his mind. With time. 

“We could read it together,” she suggested, watching the way his eyes twinkled, “If you want to.” She offered, suddenly feeling a little shy. She didn’t want him to think that she was lame or anything. She wanted him to be interested in her. 

“I’d love that.” He told her gently, fingertips soft against her skin as he leaned back to admire her. She took it as a promise, hoping that he meant it in that way. 

[sweetbillwriting]

Way Out of Line

THREE

Beneath my perfume and make-up I'm just a baby in disguise. And though I know that it's wrong to be alone with him that "come on look" is in my eyes.

Character: Keith Toshko from Barbarian (2022) played by Bill Skarsgård.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

Notes: This will not be everyone's cup of tea. And I'm a rookie haha.

I followed the movement of his soft lips, and instead of feeling the excited urgency, I felt my body become mush in his arms, and my sex pulsed in the same rhythm. I moaned into his mouth, and I could feel him smile.

“That's it, honey…” he whispered encouragingly between kisses, and it made me giggle. It was something about how he guided me that was both sexy but also domineering. It was overwhelming to kiss him, to be so close to him in a way I hadn't been with my ex-boyfriend, Tim. There was a feeling in my chest that slowly spread to my limbs and made me feel dirty in all sorts of ways, and after a while the negative feelings took over. This was not me. I wasn't the type of girl who kissed married men, especially a man much older than me. I had always been the boring girl, who didn’t push the rules. I released his lips with a smack, and he looked at me with big eyes. He must have noticed my change of emotions.

“I'm sorry,” he said, fast and pulled away. I looked down at the ground, but I could see his feet nervously move. “I should go…”

I didn't look up and didn't say anything because suddenly I felt so uncomfortable and shy about it all. I was not a sexual person, and he was old. He really was old. He could have had children my age. I heard him leave my room, and I breathed out in relief. It was not a good idea; still, I could feel a pain between my legs, like a frustrated cramp. The shame got even worse. It was filthy and heavy in my chest. He was my dad's friend; it wasn't okay.

It was hard to sleep after that moment with Keith, and the anxiety crept around in my body like hungry insects, especially because I could still feel the pressure between my legs. I ran to the bathroom every fifteen minutes in the belief that I needed to pee, but I didn't need that relief; I needed an intrusion. I had never really masturbated, but after having laid with my legs crossed without being able to release the pressure, I needed something more effective; I needed something inside me. I didn't have the knowledge to make myself come, but it was enough to be penetrated for me to finally be able to sleep, even if I felt dirty by my own sexual feelings. I didn't want to feel what I did, so I tried to deny them. They weren't real; they were not me, just something my brain created after a bit too much alcohol.

×××

I had a weird feeling in my body when I started to wake up, like a nagging feeling of forgotten anxiety, and even if I wanted to ignore it, I started to search in my brain for the answer. At first I couldn't remember it, but when I moved and realized my panties were off and I just laid in my tank top, I remembered how I had slipped a finger deep inside of me to be able to sleep. I remembered the passionate kisses with Keith that had made me so sexually frustrated I had humped my own hand. It all was so dirty and shameful, and I looked down at my hand, disgusted by how deep my fingers had been in me. I tried to tell myself it was a one-time thing and stood up from bed even if I didn't have panties on. I couldn't even see them, and for a second I imagined Keith had crept into my room and stolen them, but it was then I found them tangled in my cover. I put them on, just to have something on, on my way to the bathroom to take a shower. Just like Christianity had told me, I tried to wash my sins away; I tried to scrub away my dirty thoughts and massage away every shameful feeling. It did kind of work, and I decided that I would forget about it all and leave it all behind. I fooled myself into believing I could do that and got myself to forget Keith actually lived in the house.

It wasn't that easy to move on when the man in my dirty imaginations sat by the kitchen table, eating egg and bacon with my father. He was there, and as soon as I saw him, I forgot my thoughts were sinful and embraced them instead of denying them. I didn't care if I was dirty, I didn't care if he was my dad's friend or that he was older than me. I remembered the image of his bulge in his sweatpants and thought about how his cock looked hard. I wanted him inside of me instead of my short fingers.

“Hey, honey, come and sit down with us,” said my dad who patted the chair next to him. There was a setting for one more person, and it was probably for me because my mom most often ate earlier than me and my dad. My dad was dressed in a comfortable jogging set, but Keith was dressed in jeans and a black zip hoodie. His hair was styled back, and it could be so that he had plans to go out that day. We glanced at each other quickly, but both of us looked away, and I sat down next to my dad, who gave me a side hug and patted my cheek.

“Slept well?” He asked and started to put up eggs on my plate. He knew I didn't eat bacon. I looked away, uncomfortable with the question, but gave him a low, “yeah.”

“Do you have any plans for today?”

He didn't ask me about my New Year's celebration or if I had been drinking; for him, it was probably obvious I had been a good girl and that Mom exaggerated.

“Um, I think I’ll just have a movie marathon…”

My dad grimaced, and I looked at him confused.

“What?”

“I'm sorry honey, but Disney doesn't work at the moment…”

“What?” I asked with a whiny voice. My dad looked at me almost in shame and played with one of my long locks that fell forward over my light yellow robe.

“I know, I can't log in and—”

“You can use my account,” said Keith suddenly, and by reflex I looked at his handsome face even if I didn't want to. He licked his lips that were shiny with grease, and he gave me a fast look before looking down at his bacon again. “Is there something special you want to see?”

“She always starts the new year with hopeful movies, right, honey? So Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland?” My dad said with a smirk. I just nodded a little. Maybe my choice of movies also was childish and embarrassing, but Disney was such a natural part of my life I didn't think of it like that. I looked at Keith again. He had a stubbly top lip, and a strand of his hair didn't want to be a part of his slicked-back hairstyle and fell down in his eyes. He was too handsome to be a friend of my father's. He was way too handsome to want to kiss me. But he had.

“Thank you…” I mumbled and took the juice pitcher so I wouldn't need to look at him.

“We will go into town soon; Keith has a meeting, and I need to buy some things. Your mom is out with Felice, so you will be alone for a while. But I guess you can handle that? Now when you have Disney?”

“Yes, daddy,” I said and smiled at him. I could hear that I sounded like a ten-year-old, but we had that sort of relationship, so it was hard for me to stop. My dad always worried about me, and I was always eager to please him. Keith cleared his throat, but I didn't dare to look at him, and I wondered if he judged me for my polite behavior towards my father. He probably regretted that he had kissed someone like me, a silly girl.

×××

“You can fly!” Shouted the kids in Peter Pan while I sat stretched out on the couch with a bowl of ice cream in my lap. I still wore just pajamas even if it was 3 pm. I giggled a bit to myself when I thought about how many times I had pretended to be Lena, waiting for Peter Pan to come through my window. My biggest wish had been to never grow up. I had a nice time being alone and had no problems with it, so I was a bit disappointed when I heard the front door open.

“I'm so sorry, Keith, really. Do you want anything to eat or something?” Said my mom with worry. I turned down the sound in curiosity and tried to listen closely. It sounded like there were several feet in the hallway, and I could hear my dad clear his throat.

“No���” said Keith with a wobbly voice and sniffled. “I think I'm going to bed for a while… But thank you.”

It was obvious Keith was crying, and it made my throat dry up and start to scratch. There was something about hearing him like that that made me uncomfortable in so many ways, and I noticed how my hands were shaking too. I listened to him walking up the stairs slowly, but also my dad's deep exhalation after Keith had closed the bedroom door.

“Shit, Giselle… I really thought they would get together again,” said my father with a low voice, so low I almost didn't hear him. My mom's reply I actually couldn’t hear because she was whispering. I paused the movie and laid my hand on my chest. My heart was beating hard, and the dry feeling in my throat was now a painful barbed wire string from my heart up to my mouth. I understood what was happening, but I wanted to know more, so carefully I walked out to my parents in the hallway. My mom was hanging up Keith's bomber jacket while my dad was sitting down on the bench we had by the door. Both of them looked up at me when I tiptoed out to them.

“What's happening?” I asked, pretending like I hadn't heard as much as I had. My mom opened her mouth to say something, but my dad interrupted her.

“He got served with the divorce papers… So he is, of course, really upset.”

I nodded a little bit and looked down at the ground. I tried to keep my facial expressions in check because I was the only one of us three that knew Keith had been with another woman just the night before: me.

“Can you keep an eye on him?”

I heard what my dad said, but at first I couldn't understand the words and what he meant by them.

“Huh?” I looked at him confused and played with the thin bands of my tank top.

“We need to go grocery shopping. Can you take care of him?”

“Like how?” I asked, and I could feel my cheeks heat. My parents must have noticed, but they didn't understand why they became so rosy and must have made their own conclusions.

“Just check if he wants something if he comes out of the room. Nothing more than that.”

I nodded, and my dad gave me a thankful smile. They put on their outerwear again and left me alone with Keith. Their little girl and their old friend. They didn't have a thought, or even a half thought, that something could happen; that their little girl wasn't so innocent and the friend wasn't so trustworthy.

I continued to watch Peter Pan, but my thoughts drifted away to Keith over and over. I felt sorry for him and wondered if I should do something, but I was also afraid he would come down, and that I would need to comfort him. I thought about the night before, and in the light of day, I wasn't ashamed of it. I wasn't ashamed I had wanted him. Now I wasn't ashamed that he was married either because he would divorce, and the rest I could pretend were trivialities. I wanted him but I was scared of how much. I had never felt those sorts of feelings before, and it was frightening to feel how much I could lose myself in them.

“Hey…”

I turned to the doorway where Keith walked into the large room. His eyes were brimmed with red, but he wasn’t crying. He could have just been really tired, but I knew he wasn't, and the sniffle also exposed him.

“Hey…” I repeated and moved my legs and the blanket so that he could sit down on the other end of the couch. He sighed deeply and turned his gaze towards the TV. Something told me he just didn't want to be alone, so I didn't say anything, and just let him watch the ticking crocodile. I looked at him carefully a couple of times, and he smiled a little at the TV, and that made me smile too. After 20 minutes I dared to look at him completely, and he looked back at me and scratched his neck.

“Are you okay?” I asked carefully and sat up a bit better on the couch. Keith also sat up a little and took off his zip hoodie revealing the black t-shirt he wore underneath.

“Yeah… I knew this would happen. I just… It's a lot to take in, you know?”

I didn't know. How should I know? I had never been married, and my only relationship had ended when I was eighteen because Tim felt it became too serious, but I nodded anyway. Keith breathed heavily and dragged his hands over his thighs over and over. Something with his behavior made me feel braver, and I removed the blanket from my legs and scooted closer to him.

“Do you need a hug?”

Keith turned his eyes towards me, and for a moment we stared at each other intensely. As I sat next to him, I could see how he looked down over my body, especially my hardened nipples under my top. He looked up at me again and then moved my hair away so it fell behind my shoulders. He looked down at my chest again, this time more obviously. Just like the night before, a foreign feeling took over me that made me more confident and daring, so I pulled down one of the straps of my tank top slowly revealing one of my naked breasts for him to see. I looked him straight in the eyes while I did it and saw his eyes fall down to my chest when my nipple was exposed. Keith looked up at my eyes again and moved so he sat more towards me.

“You're such a beautiful girl…” His voice was low and raspy, and he laid his hand on my neck with his thumb on my jugular. I could feel the pressure between my legs grow again when he dragged his lips over mine sensually.

“My beautiful baby girl…” he whispered, putting some pressure over my neck. I moaned into his mouth when he kissed me and I laid my hands on his thick thighs. His hand moved down from my neck to my chest, and he released my lips to be able to look at his long fingers playing with my nipple.

“I've noticed your nipples are always so hard... Is it because you think so many dirty thoughts?” He looked up at me with a smirk and pinched my nipple hard. A pained groan left my lips, but the feeling also travelled down between my legs and made it hammer quickly. I didn't know what to say, so I let him kiss me again while my breast disappeared in his wide palm. His other hand held my head and steered me into every kiss. He used more and more tongue which made me feel that overwhelming feeling again. I was a good girl, but something took over me and gave me feelings I had learned to feel shame about. I was horny. I was so horny and wanted him in the dirtiest ways.

I dragged my hand over his crotch and could feel there was something alive under the denim. There was something moving in there. Keith pulled back a little so I could watch while he unbuckled his belt with a jiggle. I couldn't look away; I didn't want to look away. I wanted to see it. I wanted to see his cock. I thought of the word in my head: “cock.” I had never said it, but I knew I would call it that. He had a cock. My ex-boyfriend had a “penis.” Sometimes a “dick,” when I wanted to sound more relaxed, but I knew Keith had a cock.

He unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down to the floor so that he wore just a pair of white boxers that didn't hide at all what was under them. I could see something long and thick and big balls being restrained under the tight material. Keith dragged a hand over the thick member causing the fabric to stretch even tighter. I could see veins and the shape of the head. I couldn't look away even if I felt I was blushing down to my chest.

“Have you seen one before?” He asked softly. His voice didn't match how dirty he looked with his legs wide apart and his cock trying to break free from the thin fabric. I just replied with a nod because my voice had disappeared at the same time my pussy had gotten wetter and wetter.

“You're not a virgin?” He asked and took hold of my chin so we could look each other in the eyes. I shook my head, and he looked at me with furrowed brows.

“I want you to talk to me. Hmm? Can you talk to me, baby girl?” He asked, pinching my nipple hard. I didn't know if that was some sort of punishment for not talking or if he just wanted to wake me up, but he got me to make a sound and then nod.

“I can talk…”

“Are you a virgin?” He asked again. I wondered why he asked that twice while I looked at him doe-eyed.

“No. I had a boyfriend.”

Keith nodded and gave me a soft kiss. He continued to kiss me softly, which made me relax. I felt safe with him, and when he leaned back and looked at me with kind eyes, I felt I needed to tell him something.

“It was a long time ago… And he was nothing like you. I… It feels new with you. You make me feel things…” Keith smiled a little and pulled me up on his lap. My pussy was pressed against his balls, and I could feel the hammering start again. I looked down at his crotch, seeing the thick line. Was it really that big?

“Do you want to see?” He asked, taking a hold of my chin again so I would look up at him. I looked between his eyes and lips, and that made him lean forward so I could press my lips against his again. I invaded his mouth with my tongue, but he slowed me down again when he took hold of my neck.

“Slow down, honey…”

My hands laid on his chest as I blushed. The feelings were everywhere, and I felt that intense pressure between my legs again. I was forced to sit down on his thigh and press myself hard against him.

“Does your little pussy hurt?” I looked up at him and nodded. Somehow it had become so much of an embarrassment that I worried it would be a permanent feeling. Keith sat up and shifted me from his lap, so I stood between his legs. He dragged his big hands over my hips and then took hold of my pajama pants and panties with his index finger. He looked up at me with a smile.

“Can I take them off?”

I nodded a little, too mesmerized by him and drunk on newly discovered feelings. Carefully he pulled them off, and I stepped out of them, so I stood in just my strappy top. Keith took my hands in his so I wouldn't be able to conceal myself when he leaned back. Now it was him who looked overwhelmed, and I could see his cock twitch.

“Completely shaved?”

“Yeah?”

“That was…” He cleared his throat and stared between my legs like he hadn't seen a woman naked before. “It was a long time ago… Can I touch?” He looked up at me with those big puppy eyes, and to my own surprise, I sat down over his legs. Straddling him with the soles of my feet pressed against the outside of his thighs. He could see everything.

A loud moan fell from his lips just by the sight of me like that as he dragged a hand over and over his member.

“Is this just for me?” He whispered, running his hands on the inside of my thighs. “Or do you give yourself to other men like this?”

I shook my head.

“Just you. You make me crazy.”

“Yeah?” Keith leaned forward and kissed my knee, then the inside of my thigh.

“I don't know what's happening with me…”

Keith smiled sweetly, then he turned his full attention to my pussy again. Carefully he put two fingers against me, shaped like a V, and massaged my outer lips, feeling my smooth skin. He breathed heavily, and after a while he let his middle finger drag between the lips, collecting my wetness. I could feel him stroke a spot higher up that made my whole body tingle, but to my disappointment, he just dragged his fingertip there teasingly. Instead, his goal was to penetrate me with his finger, and I wasn't all prepared for how rough he would do it. His fingers were long and thick, so when he pushed it in quite violently, my entrance cramped up at first and the pain shot out to my limbs.

“So tight... So tight...” he whispered. I had closed my eyes from the shock, but when he had started to pump his middle finger in and out of me in an even rhythm, I opened my eyes. The image before me shocked me because Keith had pulled out his thickness and jerked himself off in the same rhythm that he finger fucked me in. He was even bigger when I saw his cock like that, even while his big hand held it. He let his finger slip out of me and looked at me with such a sweet expression it was hard for me to not giggle.

“What?” He asked, showing off his deep dimple in his cheek. I giggled again, and he dragged his hands over my thighs. After having been watching each other for a while, he moved me away from him. The thought of him being pleased and finished stressed me, but he just pulled off his boxers completely so I could see his cock fully exposed. Had Tim been that big? Far from it. Did he really push that into girls? It wasn't possible. I continued to stare. I had just seen Tim's and had never really looked at it. I had chosen to never go down on him, and we had sex in the dark, but here I now sat next to a grown man that I had the feeling was quite well endowed. I wish I could say it was pretty, but a man's genitals were something else. It looked scary to me.

Keith smiled and pulled me closer so I could have my head against his shoulder, then he laid my hand on his thigh so I could decide myself if I wanted to touch.

“It's okay, honey, take your time…” he said and dragged his fingers through my hair. I looked up at him. It was so nice how sweet he was about it all and how much he took care of me. He really was such a man. I kissed him again and pushed my nose tip against his cheek. It felt like I was falling for him. That sweet, wonderful man. With his big cock. I looked down again and wrapped my fingers around him, feeling his girth and weight in my hand. Keith made a deep exhalation, but let me explore by myself. I dragged my hand all the way up to the head, feeling the mushroom tip against my palm. It was really wet, and I took the wetness in my hand when I dragged my hand all the way down to his balls. I looked at them a bit confused. I didn't know if I should touch them. I had never heard about that. I looked back at Keith, who sat with his head leaned back against the headrest, and he seemed to understand what I was wondering.

“I want you to play with them, roll them in your hands, squeeze them a bit carefully…” His voice was much deeper than before, so I looked at him with the biggest eyes. He smiled at me lovingly.

“You're so cute. Such a good girl.” I giggled a little at his praise and then looked down at his cock again, still in my hand.

I sat up a little so I could use both my hands, so with one hand I started to roll his balls in my hand; it felt a bit awkward, and Keith probably felt it too because he spoke up.

“Spit on them… Spit in your hands, baby...”

I looked at him confused, so instead he took my hands and pulled them towards his mouth where he spit several times into them. Long, watery saliva threads landed in my hands, but I wasn't grossed out. All of it was sexy in the heat of the moment. When I started to roll his balls in my hand again, they glided better, and with his hand over mine, we jerked his slick cock. He showed me the pressure he wanted. His breathing became more heavy with every stroke. I saw how his t-shirt had ridden up and how I could see a deep v-line but also a hint of abs. I leaned back looking at him with furrowed brows and how his wide chest rose and fell with each deep breath. He was so gorgeous. He was so sexy. I released his balls so I could touch myself, but when Keith noticed, he pulled me up over him and steered my pussy towards his cock.

“Take it. Fuck me.” He said it lowly, but I didn't dare. It was too big. “Take my cock. Take daddy's cock, baby girl.”

I looked at his face intensely, meeting his dark, lustful gaze. I wanted to but also didn't. I needed to make a decision. But not then and there, because when I looked out the window, I saw our neighbor Mr. Gardner look through the window, straight at us.

×

[minami-ff]

You’re Staying Under My Protection

Captain Levi x Reader

The atmosphere in the Survey Corps headquarters was tense as Captain Levi paced back and forth in his office. The Captain of the Special Operations Squad had never been one to get worked up over his emotions. His stern exterior was well-known among the soldiers, but there was now a particular person who managed to chip away at the walls he had built around himself.

The weight of a decision he had no control over laid heavily on his shoulders, one that involved not just the fate of humanity beyond the walls but the safety of someone he couldn't help but want deeply to protect – you, a member of his squad and, annoyingly, someone who had found a way into his guarded heart.

As he awaited the final word from Commander Keith Shadis, Levi couldn't shake the unease that settled in his chest. Shadis had demanded your presence on his team to be vital for the upcoming expedition beyond the walls, a verdict that left Levi feeling frustrated and powerless.

Levi's thoughts were a turbulent sea of conflicting emotions. On one hand, he understood the necessity of the mission and the need for capable soldiers with specific skills and knowledge to contribute. On the other, the idea of you being under someone else's command, especially someone like Shadis, left a bitter taste in his mouth.

There was no way the Commander could protect you nearly as well as he would.

Levi stormed into the room where Shadis and his subordinates deliberated. His entrance was a forceful declaration of his discontent, and the intensity in his wintry steel eyes silenced the room.

"Commander," Levi's voice cut through the air like a blade, "we need to talk. Everyone, out.”

The Survey Corps team exchanged uneasy glances before quickly vacating the room, leaving Levi and Shadis alone with the uncertainty of the impending confrontation hanging in the air. Shadis, unfazed by the abrupt intrusion, glared at Levi with green eyes stabbing out of his dark panda circles.

"Levi, this isn’t about your special affection for [Your Last Name] again, is it?" Shadis flashed a sly grin, teasing the captain. Levi fixed him with an unyielding glare.

"You’re not taking [Your Name] away from my squad." Levi demanded with unwavering conviction, “That’s final.” Shadis leaned back, chuckling, folding his arms as he belittled Levi.

"Kid, this lineup isn’t personal. It's about ensuring we have the best-suited soldiers on this critical mission. You know that as well as I do. [Your Last Name]'s skills are needed on this expedition." In a burst of frustration, Levi slammed his hand on the table, the sound echoing in the room.

"I trained [Your Name] personally. I won't let you throw my comrades into the fire without me there to watch their back!" The bond between a captain and his squad ran deep, and Levi was not willing to let go easily. Shadis, unmoved by Levi's plea, crossed his arms and leaned against the desk.

"Not up for negotiation. In actual fact, [Your Last Name] agreed to this, even expressed excitement about joining this mission! Clearly you’ve failed to ask for [Your Last Name]’s desires before clouding your judgement. I’m done with this conversation." Levi's narrowed eyes softened, taken aback, and absorbed some truth to what the Commander said.

Unbeknownst to both leaders, you stood just beyond the door, absorbing every word exchanged. You entered the room, gentle eyes laying on your Captain’s.

"Captain, thank you for your concern, but I am more than capable of ensuring my own safety. This is what you trained me for. Allow me to join the Survey Corps on this mission. They need me, and I need this opportunity." Levi's fists clenched at his sides, his gaze never wavering from yours.

"Fine," Levi finally relented after much hesitation, his voice tight. Silence filling the air as he breathed heavily, "but [Your Name] is my responsibility. I expect [Your Name] to return to me unharmed." He fixed Shadis with an intense, piercing stare, requiring reassurance. “Or else I will take this personally.”

Shadis nodded, acknowledging Levi's concession.

As Commander Shadis and you left the room to leave for the mission, you thanked your captain with a nod and subtle smile. Though Levi lowered his head back at you, his frustration reached its peak. He couldn't shake the fear that lingered in the depths of his mind. The walls may protect humanity from the titans, but they could not shield his heart from the fear of losing someone he cared for again. For now, all he could do was hope that you would return safely.

[kryptonbabe]

The absence of the superego psychological structure in JSA bronze age comics, an observation

One thing that makes reading the JSA revival run from 1976 such an interesting experience is just how much of their inner thoughts they are willing to share with each other. The members of this team will express the most intense feelings of despair, anger and every other emotion without thinking twice, it makes for a very intense reading experience. These people are on the edge and they will let you know about their intrusive thoughts, deep feelings and desires, the drama is always through the roof, and I didn't even include Power Girl's exchanges with Superman and Wildcat (I'm saving these for another post)

In Freudian psychology we have:

(...) the id is the impulsive part of your personality that is driven by pleasure and repulsed by pain, the superego is the judgmental and morally correct part of your personality, and the ego is the conscious part of your personality that mediates between the id and the superego and makes decisions.

And I can only think of the challenge the JSA team of this time would present for these definitions, because they seem unburdened by the superego aspect of their mind, just saying what their id demands, particularly when it comes to sharing their feelings. And that is not to say these characters don't have interesting inner lives, it's just that they're very transparent about their feelings and it's absolutely appealing to witness such a dynamic

This particular style of writing reminds me of what Chris Claremont was also doing with the Uncanny X-Men at Marvel (All-Star Comics revival and Claremont's X-Men were published only 6 months apart), which might just be an example of how the writing trends of superhero comic books were changing with the times. The difference is: the X-men heroes were younger and less experienced while the JSA characters are jaded, they share a common history of decades with each other and their foes, this leaves a lot of room for drama and conflict (not to put these books against each other they're just different and I love both). Honestly I'm a melodrama fan, I have an appreciation for this soap opera style of comic book narrative and I'm glad there's so much good material to get into. There's a reason why the JSA characters are still popular to this day

From All-Star Comics (1976 revival), collected in Only legends live forever TPB (2019). Written by: Gerry Conway & Paul Levitz. Art by Keith Giffen & Wally Wood

[trashc-anon]

hazbin hotel is polluting my mind so if I were the editor's intern: reco

• either stretch the season into 16 episodes or cut the plotlines in half;

• definitaly cut Alastor's screen time in half (if not more)

• make up your mind how much of the pilot is canon (especially regarding Lucifer)

• episode 1 is good as is, a soft reboot from the pilot without getting in too much detail and I love hating Adam, "Hell is Forever" is banger (i hope the music writers were properly paid and Disney learns why AI is a bad idea!)

• episode 2 is a problem, because Sir Pentious presence is only because of the V's, make that episode 2/2;

• ep 1/2 - Charlie and Vaggie leave the hotel to recruit; Sir Pentious attacks, all on schedule

• Charlie or Vaggie save some of the eggs from being crushed; when the "battle" is over, Pentious is cautiosly agrees to entertain their hospitalty; angel is untrusting;

• "Starts with Sorry"

• leave the Vs as unseen foes, and Alastor's only appearance is his shadow at the end of the episode (Overlords are mysterious unseen threat)

• episode 2/2 - Vs are anxious that Alastor is with the princess;

• see, the first couple of episodes make sense, but they take away from the girls and the hotel

• but "Stayed Gone" is sooo good! maybe use at a later date?

nevermind

• "Stayed Gone" is a fun song, BUT it doesn't make sense for Alastor, mysterious serial killer, to have childish rivalries; why didn't he kill Vox back when he rejected him and Vox got 'pissy'?

• either make Vox less pathetic or less there;

• soooo, episode 3/1 is would be trust exercises

• i actually liked Angel's plan with BDSM, he's not wrong and I wished he had the chance to be an adult that LIKES sex separate from the victim that uses overtsexuality as a defence mechanism

• each character could have their own moment to show what trust means to them; trust comes in different shades;

• between Angel and Maggie we see sexual intimacy and surviving extreme situations; Husk has issues with openess; Niffty with intrusive thoughts;

• IN FACT! actually stablish WHY Husk and Niffty are part of the exercises! they're not guests, Husk says as much, they are employees LOANED by Alastor; they're not there to earn redemption; *vague hand gesture in confusion*

• OKAY - Overlord meeting... ehhhhhh

• i still want to cut Alastor's screentime! whats the point of the meeting? screentime for the overlords, the dead angel (which we know, but main cast won't until episode 7) Carmila being responsible is important, we need to know who to ask for help, but ugh. I get its also, prelude that you need love to fight and win against angels, but its never stablished in canon, Carmila says it to Maggie to use as internal compass to keep her fighting beyond pain and fear; bloodlust is distracting, love is focused;

• my delight with Zestial being all dark and yummy need to take a hike for the sake of - what am i even doing any more?

• I can't help but think how much of these decision are also based on Voice Actor salaries; because Keith David (Husk) gotta be expensive and for a character that is literaly always presented he almost never talks; and just, ALL of them being expensive and ~ahahah better make fewer episodes if you want big names in your projects~

• ughhhh that's when you know a series has issues, when trying to fix you run into a thousand more problems;

• i would respect how much they put into 8 episodes, ONLY IF it's true they didn't know they would get season 2. Because in that case a bunch of these plot lines needed to be dropped, I don't care how fanfavorite the character is;

• the Vs serve no purpose what so ever, you can easily have Valentino as a lone villain (also less confusion about hells social rules about SA and abuse);

• Lucifer should've been the last big name to enter screen; work up to the trial with Heaven for S2E01 (why even a trial)

• just how PLOT heavy is this series that Viv needed Lilith's bomb to drop in season 1? which is a major inconsistancy for a series based on the theme of redemption, a CHARACTER heavy theme;

• as it is, i don't see how Sir Pentious being redeemed is a good thing, because he died before entering Heaven, so other souls need to die too and hope it's not forever? wouldn't that fuel Exterminators cause to kill in name of 'clensing'? (holy shit, the more I write the worse it gets)

• IS there an primordial EVIL to scare the angels so badly?

• omg I hope they won't try to bring actual GOD into the series; I know there is concept art floating around, but please, do not;

• Supernatural barely got away with it in Season 5 because it was a funny 'what if' and made it got bad in Season 10 (?) (no series should ever emulate Supernatural, its a warning I mean it, don't, not worth it, you don't have 10+ years of dead horse to beat)(the fans, me, stayed out of, idk, regretfull loyalty)

• my english is not good enough for this... KAY IM DONE NOW! BYEEEE

[modernmanblues]

chances

CH 6: KISS OF LIFE

plot: American photographer Leah Walker is ecstatic when she's presented with the opportunity to spend the summer of 1975 in Stockport, UK to take photographs of local English groups. Given her history of taking photos of big acts such as The Rolling Stones and The Doors, she is taken by surprise when told that her first clients will be the up and coming Manchester-based group, 10cc, who have kept a low-profile until recently, after gaining worldwide stardom from their hit I'm Not In Love. Leah knows little about the group and gets acquainted fairly quickly, but what she doesn't know is how much trouble she's about to get herself into with the group's beloved lead guitarist, Eric Stewart. She has all summer, come to think of it. The possibilities are endless.

themes: big fat snogging xxxxx, cuddling, slow dancing, brief hospital scene, mild medical terms, alcohol

a/n: In light of my recent engagement, I would like to dedicate this particular chapter to the love of my life, my soulmate, my dear future husband, Keith Stewart (his middle name, not surname btw. would be a comical coincidence, wouldn’t it?). Thank you for proofreading this chapter for me, darling, you’re the best! And, i love you very very much xxxxx

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.”

I stir awake into consciousness as I feel firm, spindly fingers gently caressing my hair. I open my eyes gently to meet his, ocean blue gazing into velvet brown and I promptly come to my senses. Eric..you’re back. Oh thank goodness you’re back..

The thought brings a massive smile on my face as I study him with eager eyes. I hope I am simply not dreaming..I stray away from this dark intrusive thought to prevent it from tainting my bright mood.

“Good morning, princess.” His warm, mancunian brogue is so comforting to hear.

We continue to lay on our sides, amusing ourselves in mutual gaze. He takes me aback as he traces my jawline delicately with his thumb, and transitions swiftly to his index finger to do the same maneuver on the bridge of my nose. He showcases his trademark juvenile smile, which never fails to lure me into this wave of tranquility that has become all too familiar to me.

“Good morning, Eric. How are you feeling?” I peer into his eyes adoringly. I feel myself smiling with demure.

He hoists himself up with one arm, wincing as he guards the center of his torso.

“Fuckin’ hell..this pain..” he mutters.

I sit up quickly to stabilize him. My expression turns somber as I watch him writhe in pain.

“Eric, I should ask the nurse for your pain med—” I stand erect, but he clutches my arm deftly, preventing me from going farther.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” he gawks at me with a sultry expression.

“Come sit with me, please.” He orders sternly.

We simultaneously assume a seated position on the edge of the bed, he gapes at me with delight, appearing to be on the verge of laughter.

“What is it, Eric?”

He glances at the bed then cranes his head towards me again. The smirk on his face is rather criminal. I am suddenly presented with the most absurd intrusive thought.

“Eric, we didn’t..did we..? Oh god..” I gasp faintly, my face growing flushed at the thought.

He cackles at my remark, shaking his head. I need you to explain yourself now, Mr. Stewart..

“No Leah, I’m not that kind of guy. Sure I’m a rockstar, but I’m the polite type at the very least. You see, I would’ve asked for your permission first and most importantly, I like my woman awake when I make love to her.”

I have no words. He carries on.

“I was just thinking..would this technically count as our first time sleeping together?”

The temperature on my face continues to rise. I feel a lump going down my throat. The audacity…and the bastard even looks bloody proud himself for saying that. He’s back from the dead alright. I finally generate a response.

“I beg your pardon?” I hope he’s joking. “I’m afraid I don’t unders—”

“Well it appears that you and I slept on the same bed last night, Leah.” He maintains the smug look on his face as he fixes his gaze on me.

“So it does…but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we actually slept together, does it…?”

He leans into me, nudging my arm.

“I’m just teasing you, love.” He chuckles.

We hear the sound of the door opening then closing, followed by echoed footsteps.

“The troop has landed!” Kevin’s voice reverberates around the room.

Eric and I are beaming with glee as we witness the brigade that is, Kevin, Lol, Graham and little Dieta marching in as a unit.  

“Daddy! Oh daddy…” Dee runs up to Eric and throws herself into his arms. I can feel the child’s anguish in her tone, and I am rather disheartened to see her tears beginning to saturate Eric’s hospital wardrobe. Eric winces from the girl tackling him, doing his best to fight through the pain.

“Easy, petal...there, there daddy’s okay now…daddy’s here, daddy’s okay…” He scoops the little girl up in his arms and soothes her with a quick peck on the forehead, combing her long brunette hair with his fingers.

“Y-you’re okay n-now, d-daddy?” Dee sobs through her words.

“That’s right. Daddy’s strong as a bull again, and I’m afraid I haven’t told you today, but I love you very much darling.” He plants another kiss on her forehead.

Strong as a bull, eh? Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren’t you boy? 

I decide to catch up with the three lads as I leave the father-daughter duo to bond for a bit.

“Leah! How are you, girl?” Lol scoops me up in a massive embrace. He is ever the charmer.

“Feeling much better now.” I smile daintily, squeezing him gently in return. I lock eyes with Graham, feeling my cheeks warm up insidiously.

I carefully break away from Lol’s hold and steadily make my way towards this stunning, god-like creature named Graham Gouldman, who was undoubtedly bestowed the most ravishing façade.

“Hello, Graham.” I greet him warmly.

“Hi, Leah.” He gazes at me admiringly, noting the subtle twinkle in his eyes, “you deserve knighthood for your sheer heroic efforts in saving our Eric.”

Our Eric? Well, that’s got a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

Graham leans into me and plants a tender kiss on my cheek. He smiles at me meekly the moment he peels away. My face grows markedly flushed at this gesture. I place my hand on my cheek, astounded by Graham’s forwardness.

“Leah babe.” Kevin toots from the corner.

My instinct drives me to fall into Kevin’s arms immediately. He welcomes me with a warm, affectionate embrace. We peel away from each other’s hold.

“Kev, so good to see you.” I smile through my words.

“Likewise, lovely.” He peers into my eyes with sheer fondness.

“Can I join this little love fest?” Eric purrs behind me, startling me as his hands perch over my shoulders.

My reflexes trigger me to immediately turn around and face him.

“Eric..hi. Um..” I chuckle, biting my lower lip as I notice him searching for my eyes.

“Why did you abandon me?” He mutters under his breath.

“I didn’t abandon you. I wanted to leave you and Dee to it.”

“Right. But you didn’t have to leave my side, you know.”

I let out a gentle laugh, bringing my hand to his cheek and caressing it gently.

“I’m glad to know you’re feeling okay.” I smile at him sheepishly.

“As long as you’re around, I know I’ll always feel okay.” He kisses the groove of my palm delicately.

“Well hello! You are looking super this morning, Mr. Stewart!” the nurse chirps as she closes the door behind her, marching in with Eric’s food tray.

“Never felt better, nurse.” He smiles at her then at me boyishly.

“Well, that’s good to hear then. I was just coming in to deliver your breakfast tray and to check on you,” The nurse gushes, her eyes skimming between Eric and the rest of the guys, “ I didn’t realize you were going to get this much attention today.” She giggles ecstatically.

“I might need a bit of morphine again, nurse.” Eric retorts, wincing as he guards his torso.

“It’s a good thing I came in. I’ll be back with some pain medicine. Nice to see you all.” She leaves us with a genial smile before exiting the room gracefully.

“Mmm..don’t you just love nurses?” Lol is nearly swooning.

“Don’t you just love your wife?” Graham retorts sarcastically, rolling his eyes playfully and shaking his head at Lol.

“Aye, Angie’s the best wife a man could ask for!” Lol proclaims firmly.

“So why do your eyes travel elsewhere, Lol?” Eric is playfully stern, raising an eyebrow at his mate.

“Oh come off it, lads. You all know no girl will ever come between Angie and I.”

“Hello, I’m back.” The nurse walks in swiftly carrying a small syringe.

“Mr. Stewart, might I suggest that you have a seat or lay down for a bit while you wait for this medicine to take effect. It tends to make people a bit drowsy.” She says this matter-of-factly.

 “Oh right.” Eric obeys the nurse’s orders and returns to sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Hello there!” Dieta chirps from where she is seated adjacent to Eric, waving ecstatically at the nurse.

“Well hello to you, lovely. What’s your name?” The nurse beams at Dieta.

“I’m Dieta Stewart and this is my daddy, Eric Stewart.” She places a hand on Eric’s shoulder.

“And that over there is my mummy, Leah Stewart!” Dieta points to me, giggling almost menacingly.

My jaw drops to the floor instantly. This child…ever so cheeky just like her father.

“What’s your name, miss?” Dieta asks politely, tilting her head slightly. Charming.

“I’m Charlotte. But most people like to call me Charlie.”Charlotte glances at Dieta adoringly as she prepares to give Eric his medicine.

“That’s a pretty name, Nurse Charlie!” Dieta chirps joyfully.

The child watches attentively as Charlie deftly flicks the drug-filled syringe before delivering the antidote through Eric’s vein.

“May I ask what’s that you’ve got there?” Dieta gazes up at Charlie with hopeful eyes.

“Oh, this is just a little pain medicine. It’s going to make your daddy’s pain go away.” Charlie smiles adoringly at the child.

“Could use some of that myself, if you know what I mean.” Kevin mumbles audibly from the corner, snickering with Lol as he nudges him.

 “You must be a proud father, Mr. Stewart.” She says with a teethy grin, disregarding Kevin’s remark and glancing at Eric while attaching her small apparatus to his intravenous line.

 "Um…Mr. Stewart? Are you alright?” Charlie repeats herself, seemingly concerned that Eric now looks a bit stupefied.

 Eric has grown silent, his eyes widening as he maintains a fixed gaze on the syringe. His face suggests fear.

“Leah! Leah! This is—" Eric cries out in agony, barely finishing his sentence. He begins to hyperventilate.

I bolt my way towards him, clasping his clammy hand. He’s grown noticeably pale.

“Eric honey, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay. This is going to take the pain away.” I chant.

He continues to sit in silence, appearing like he’s seen a ghost.

“Go easy on him please.” I gape at Charlie with pleading eyes.

 "No worries, love. This is morphine, it’s quite potent so it will have to go in slow, it will be gentler on his vein.” Charlie smiles at me gingerly. Her words are reassuring.

 “No..no..no..” Eric’s voice quivers as he murmurs under his breath, closing his eyes shut. I begin to notice a tear trickling down his angelic face.

I maintain my grip on his hand, gently caressing it with my thumb. She begins to push the medicine through slowly.

“Half the medicine is in and I’m nearly finished here, Mr. Stewart. You are doing fantastic.” The nurse’s words seem to be providing Eric a bit of solace, he’s become more at ease as the medicine takes effect.

“Right. I’m all done here. That wasn’t too bad, was it?” The nurse beams meekly as she detaches the syringe from Eric’s IV.

“Well then…” Eric breathes a sigh of relief. “Sorry, I just…I don’t like medicines..”

Well you certainly didn’t think twice about sniffing up that cocaine…Seriously, I’ve had my urges to slap this guy.

I brush his hair delicately with my fingers. “You did so well, darling.”

“That’s right. Now you’ll be pain free for a bit. Which, that reminds me. The doctor has orders for you to be discharged from the hospital today. All your vital signs and labs are stable now, the doctor has said you are healthy enough to go home.” Charlotte says this in a rather business-like tone.  

 “Well that’s great news, isn’t it?” Lol states jovially.

“Best news of the day, Nurse Charlie.” Eric winks at her.

 And he is quite the expert at woeing the ladies, isn’t he? I want to roll my eyes at him.

“Right. Well, let me get your discharge papers together and um…” Charlie looks at Dieta from the corner of her eye, beaming at her.

She squats down to be at eye level with the young lady.

“…since you’ve been such a good little girl for your daddy. How about a nice little treat? Ice lolly, perhaps?”

“Oh that sounds fab!” The girl chirps ecstatically, craning her head towards her father.

“Daddy can I have an ice lolly, oh please daddy! please please!” Dee tugs on Eric’s wardrobe gently.

“Alright, but you’re only getting one. Don’t want you spoiling your appetite, you’ve got breakfast waiting.” Eric’s hands glide over his food tray. His paternal side never fails to shine through, and he isn’t afraid to show it.

“Yipeee!!” Dee exclaims.

“Right. Be right back.” Charlie marches off daintily, and with sheer nursing confidence. We watch as she disappears from our line of sight.

*********************************************************

I have graced the basement foyer with my presence standing in utter silence as I become completely engrossed in the intricacies of this fascinating wall decor flaunting before me that is, the gold disc awarded to 10cc’s The Original Soundtrack record. I carefully study each groove on the gold vinyl, enchanted with the way it shines everytime I shift in different angles. My eyes dart towards the brief passage written at the bottom of the framed display which reads:

 …Stewart and Gouldman’s passion, heart and soul coupled with Godley and Creme’s incontestable humour and wit gave birth to this star-studded masterpiece. The Original Soundtrack brings about a conglomerate of emotions to its audience, providing a rather unique and stimulating experience to both the avid and fleeting music listener. Simply put, it is playful, silly and romantic. These are just some of the nuances that give perpetual appeal to these so-called Darlings of Rock ‘n’ Roll. Truly, a record that is decades ahead of its time.

My attention is suddenly shifted to the muffled sound of music seeping from the recording studio. My efforts in guessing the name of the song are disrupted the moment I catch a glimpse of Eric in the studio appearing rather haggard and slightly unkempt. His black dress top is unbuttoned halfway, tucked lazily under the hem of his jeans. The signature brown leather belt hugging his waist. He clasps his hands together as he rests them on his abdomen, elevating his legs and leaning them against the audio console. He furrows his brows, immersing himself in every aspect of lyric and sound. So this must be what so-called rockstars do in their spare time.

I remember the actual purpose of me coming down here, that was to perform a welfare check on Eric. It’s as if he had been waiting for me this entire time, he swivels open the door immediately. He coolly brings his arm up, leaning it against the doorway while he rests his opposite hand on his hip. My eyes dart toward the dark patch of hair on his chest, and the five o’clock shadow that’s beginning to grow flushed against his delicate jawline. His smirk darkens insidiously the longer he ogles me.

“Well, doesn’t this look familiar?” He gapes at me with a dark, sultry expression.

“How familiar?” I tilt my head to the side, gazing at him with unremitting charm.

Our ears are greeted with the sweet, gentle sound of Paul McCartney’s crooning in the track My Love, resonating from the turntable. I feel the mood changing between us. We’re becoming engulfed into a more intimate atmosphere.

Without saying a word, Eric extends his hand out to me, inviting me to come inside the studio. He shuts the door gently. I take his hand and follow his lead. We stand eye to eye in the heart of room. He carefully guides my arms up and nestles them over his shoulders. My eyes drown in his as I wait patiently for his next move. He proceeds to place his hands on my waist. His hands emit a generous amount of warmth which sends a mild tingle through my spine. My eyes have not yet abandoned his, a promise we have both made silently to each other at this very moment. I decide to break the silence as we both begin to sway sluggishly to the music.

“You were supposed to ask my permission for this dance, you know.” I giggle subtly.

“Oh dear, where are my manners?” He retorts with gross sarcasm, grinning widely.

We mind each other’s steps as we gain some momentum in this performance.

“I like this song.” I shift to a more serious tone, maintaining my gaze on him.

“Leah, can I say something to you?” The smile on his face vanishes suddenly.

“Anything, Eric.” I peer into his velvet brown doe eyes.

And my love does it good…McCartney’s creamy vocals continue to fill the room with comforting ambiance.

Eric twirls me carefully, laughing gently as he watches me with eager eyes. He hold me firmly in his arms as he dips me as they do in ballroom dancing. He smirks at me, seemingly proud about the dirty trick he’s just done on me. I gasp faintly as I feel Eric delicately nuzzling his nose against my temple then gradually down my cheek, planting a gentle kiss on my face. His scent, the potent fusion of whiskey and aftershave. Will this man ever learn?

“I don’t recall whether you gave me the kiss of life while I was dead, but tonight I want to return the favor by doing this.”

He catches me by surprise when he leans his face into me and joins his lips with mine. He peels away briefly, expelling his breath. I stand before him appearing aghast. Again, I have no words.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” His soft, gentle voice caresses my senses.

Eric leans in once again and surrenders another kiss. He brushes his upper lip with my lower, adding some tongue in between. I moan softly, melting into his arms while I mirror his lip movements. Our momentum intensifies as we become absorbed into this tongue, lip and heavy breathing ecstasy. Our hands fumble in each other’s hold, struggling to keep them in place.

“Lord have mercy..,” he says breathlessly as he peels away from me to gasp for air.

“Easy, love..” I mutter breathlessly, biting my lower lip.

Eric’s face grows more noticeably smug as his eyes dart from me to whatever is piquing his interest behind me.

“Whatever you do..” Eric brings my hand up to his face and kisses my knuckle tenderly.

“..do not turn around.” He smiles at me cheekily.

“What? What do you me—” My instinct tells me to turn around immediately only to discover the most shocking revelation, and the source of Eric’s distraction.

 My eyes widen in horror as I peer through the soundproof glass window and find Dieta lurking in the recording room, giggling as she flicks her polaroid camera, blinding Eric and I with its flash.

“Right, you. Come out of there at once!” Eric scolds his daughter lightly.

Dee’s doe eyes expand in plain shock, veiling her mouth with her hand to conceal her embarrassment. Caught red-handed.

“NOW.” Eric’s declares in a louder tone, leering at Dee sternly.

The girl obeys her father’s command and bows her down as she exits the recording room, approaching us cautiously.

“Sorry, daddy..” Dieta blurts out weakly.

“Come here, you.” Eric releases me gently and reels his daughter into his hip feebly.

“Now how long had you been lurking in there, hm?” Eric tenses his jaw as he cranes his head down, eyeing his daughter with a forgiving stare.  

“A while.” The girl gazes up at her father innocently, presenting him with a few polaroids.

Eric accepts the images and shuffles through them one by one, his expression changing from dismayed to delighted. He glances at me then back at the photos.

“Come have a look at these.” He curls his lips in amusement.

I step in closer to marvel at the portraits myself and much to my surprise, I see that this little girl has captured three of the most intimate moments that happened between Eric and I this room.

“Beautiful, aren’t they?” Eric’s jaw tenses as he gazes at me to watch my reaction diligently.

Unsurprisingly, I become captivated at the photo of the two of us studying each other’s eyes. I see so much fondness, adoration and compassion between us both, it’s rather riveting.

“You took all these photos, Dee?” I gape at the girl adoringly.

“Who else would have taken them, ma’am?” Dee chirps cheekily, batting her eyes at me.

“Be nice, darling.” Eric scolds gently.

“They’re so good.” I grin widely at the girl, squatting down to meet her at eye level.

“You know. I have been looking for another apprentice to fill in for me from time to time. I think you would be a good fit.”

Eric squats down with me, placing his arm over my shoulder. His eyes glide from me to Dee, then back towards me.

“Do you really think that’s a great idea, Walker?” Eric chuckles.

“Eric, your daughter has so much potential. These photos look exquisite, one could easily think they were taken by a professional. She clearly has an affinity for photography.”

I gaze into his eyes intently, “And I can see where she gets her prodigious talents from.”

Eric’s eyes twinkle as he gawks at me with blatant ardor, beguiling me with his million dollar grin.                       

“You’re a charmer aren’t you, Walker?” He purses his lips shyly.  

“Anyway, any plans this afternoon?” He suddenly switches subject.

“No why do you ask, Eric?”

“Would you care to join Dee and I for afternoon tea?” His face brightens as he awaits my response.

“Oh please please PLEASE say yes!” Dieta pleads with her eyes.

“I would love to join you both.” I retort delightfully.

“Beautiful. It’s a date then.” His soft tone tingles my eardrums.

It’s a date then.

________________________________________________

<<previous chapter next chapter>>

please visit my masterlist if you would like to see some of my other work :)

[lacklusterhero747]

A Journey to the (Weird) West

Well, it would seem that my intrusive thoughts are becoming a hyperfixation, so I might as well dust off this blog and see if I can make sense of the stuff rattling around in my brain.

Adapting the Feel of an Existing Setting

If you’ve looked at any of the other things I’ve written here, it should be fairly obvious that I enjoy the challenge of creating settings from whole cloth when I can. Especially if it can be done cooperatively with my players. Games like Armor Astir, Dungeon World, or Fabula Ultima expressly encourage this sort of play, and tools like the The Perilous Wilds exist to take that on the fly world building a step further. Start small, work outward. All that standard advice.

But sometimes it can be just as fun to take an existing setting and play around its sandbox.

Just because a setting was laid down on paper in a particular way doesn’t mean that it cannot be bent and changed to present a different sort of experience. Factions can be moved or replaced, maps can be altered. The entire focus of a setting can be shifted away from the default in the service of the stories you want to tell. I’m not breaking new ground in saying this, obviously, but I do find it interesting that within the last six or so months, a campaign idea I have had bubbling away in my brain has been given new energy by finally getting around to reading the latest work from Keith Baker and Co, that seeks to expand upon Eberron as a campaign setting.

Eberron as it is

Ever since the original publication of the Eberron Campaign Setting for Dungeons and Dragons back in 2004 (my god, has it really been that long ago?) I've been a huge fan. For anyone who isn’t fully aware of what makes the setting special–especially when compared to the laundry list of other official settings produced for TSR and WotC–Eberron is a world that was crafted to blend the action and excitement of pulp adventure novels and film noir with the trappings of traditional fantasy settings and a liberal dash of steampunk. Drawing inspiration from films like Brotherhood of the Wolf,  Casablanca,  The Maltese Falcon,  The Mummy,  Pirates of the Caribbean,  Raiders of the Lost Ark,  and Sleepy Hollow, Eberron presents a world draped in a fragile peace, one where instability lurks just beneath the surface. You see, the so called Last War–a 100 year long war of succession that nearly tore the continent apart–has only just ended a few years ago, and a treaty signed by all participants in the war seeks to hold the ambitions of the powerful in check, but many feel that the current peace will only give way to more warfare. Until one nation defeats the others and claims the throne of the ancient Kingdom of Galifar, many believe there will never be a true and lasting peace.

Now take this political tinderbox and layer on top what I find to be a satisfactory answer to the question, “What if magic, but also we do an industrial revolution?”

Magic is wrapped tightly around the setting and woven throughout as a fundamental building block in a way that I think most other official Dungeons and Dragons settings fail to accomplish, to the extent that everyday magic could almost seem banal. Streets are lit by magical lanterns and utilitarian magic items are available in corner shops. It’s not beyond imagining that a citizen of one of the Five Nations might own a pair of cuff-links that can be activated to provide the cleaning and scent altering functions of Prestidigitation in order to always remain at their most presentable, or that magically infused stamps might exist to perform the function of package tracking ID numbers in our modern world, and that these objects and services would cost them almost nothing. Societies are built on the backs of labor, and in this world the idea of the workaday wage mage is on full display. The setting even offers the idea expedient travel across the continent by way of Airships and Lightning trains, powered by bound elementals, and near instant communication between distant points through magical means, all of which are provided and administered by The Dragonmarked Houses, which are essentially like proto-corporations, with specific monopolies on goods and services, though their membership is largely dictated by bloodline, as the magical Dragon Marks that afford them their abilities are passed from parent to child. In truth, the only way in which magic seems limited in the setting is that high level magic, especially things like Resurrection Magic, are far less common in the setting.

A Journey to the Frontier

Now, with that somewhat basic framework out of the way, the actual idea that’s been clawing at my brain for some time has been, more or less, the idea of a wizard with a gun. Rogues on the open range. Cowboys and Cantrips. It’s not a new or novel concept, the weird west has existed for quite some time–the Deadlands RPG and DCC’s Weird Frontiers RPG spring immediately to mind–but I was recently presented with thought that, given proper massaging and a separation from the inherent assumptions of The Forgotten Realms, The Lost Mines of Phandelver, and to a lesser extent The Dragon of Icespire Peak which is set in the same location, essentially hold all the necessary building blocks to be a Western. The question then became what elements and tropes of traditional Western stories would I want to have in play, were I to ever do such a thing, and what setting would I want to run it in?

Enter Frontiers of Eberron: Quickstone.

In the latest work from Keith Baker (though yes, I know it came out in September of 2024, the end of the year is a busy time in retail), the focus of the Eberron setting is drawn away from the cosmopolitan cities of the setting’s primary continent, and all the spy games and skullduggery such a setting might imply. Instead the camera focuses on the western fringes of one of the five great successor nations. A dusty backwater frontier at the railhead of House Orien’s lightning rail network. Here we find a brewing conflict in the contested lands at the borders of the ancient Kingdom of Breland and the rising nation of Droaam. Breland, you see, has always considered the lands that comprise Droaam as theirs, even though they’d done little to settle the area or exploit its natural resources. As The Last War raged elsewhere on the continent, however, the inhabitants of this distant and forgotten place decided to stake a claim of their own. These inhabitants, considered by many in the far off seats of political power to be “monsters”, see the land they call Droaam as their home and birthright. So it is that in this rocky, desert land which stands upon the ruins of an ancient goblin empire, tainted by the foul magics of aberrant invaders from the Realm of Madness thousands of years ago, Harpies, Gargoyles, Gnolls, Medusa, Minotaurs, and Hags have banded together into a sort of loose alliance in the pursuit of self determination and self governance, free of the meddling of politicians in far off, gilded towers.

Honestly, what more could I ask for?

Here we find ourselves with a setting preloaded with the appropriate sort of terrain or a classical western story, one that offers the sorts of modern conveniences like trains and telegraphs that existed in the tropey, minds eye imaginings of what the cowboy life was like, but held at a somewhat distant arms length from the center of the action. I can already picture in my mind city slicker player characters, at home in arcanopunk settings like Final Fantasy 6 or 9, squaring off in the street with wands at high noon. Politics of ownership and Imperialism easily brush up against the typical D&D fair of delving into the depths of ancient ruins and fighting off strange and bizarre creatures left to fester in the earth thousands of years ago. And somewhere down a dark and dusty trail, an ancient demon lord might well stir, only to be confronted by daring adventurers astride loyal axebeak mounts, ten gallon hats atop their heads and six guns at their sides.

The only question then becomes what game system?

I have some thoughts, of course. Dungeons and Dragons is an obvious choice–be it 2014, 2024, or Tales of the Valiant–given that there’s a wealth of available material to draw from, though I am aware of some amount of fatigue around the game, in terms of both its age and the behavior of the company that owns the game. 

Shadowdark offers a similar feel of gameplay, though one that might be a touch more lethal than intended. 

Games like Draggerheart and Vagabond are just around the corner and seem promising, but I would need to read them in greater detail before I could make any judgments for my table… 

And of course, as always, there’s Fabula Ultima, which by its very nature as an homage to JRPGs fits the sort of arcanopunk vibe of Eberron quite well… I just wonder if coming to the table with a fully prepared setting isn’t working against the spirit of a game that so proudly puts the idea of cooperative world building front and center.

It’s something that bears thinking about. And certainly asking my players about, should the opportunity to head out west ever arise.

[keithbwrtuk]

Intrusive Thoughts...? For Professional, Private & Confidential help contact Keith at BWRT UK, in the world of therapy since 2000. Tel/Txt 07958 508482 keith@bwrtuk.co.uk https://www.bwrtuk.co.uk/intrusive-thoughts/

#BWRTUK #BWRT #NeuralBlocks #intrusivethoughts #Anxiety #Fear #Trauma #SocialAnxiety #HealthAnxiety #GAD #GoalAchievement #Success #SelfSabotoge #ImposterSyndrome #LowSelfWorth #Confidence #limitingbehaviour #PTSD #stress #Resilience #avoidance

[2deadkat]

I think the Stilton siblings should have an Elric brothers type dynamic.

Grown up together so they knew each other since they were kids, studied the same proficiency, and always does the journey together. Not to mention a strong sibling bond…and also one is gentle the other is a hot head

That’s how I would write them in the deadkat interpretation anyway

[thirstyshipper]

Dude I just finished reading your Buck/Keith fic on AO3 and it's fucking amazing. I love the way you portray Keith's inner thoughts and the obsessive intrusions. Also Bucks reactions to it. I can't wait to see where you go with it whenever you come back to it!

AHHHH thank you so much!

That means so much-

Chapter 3 is already in the works and I hope it will live up to your expectations!

But getting comments like these always motivate me, so thank you thank you thank you!! 💛💛💛

[mins0o]

Book Review #001

<Impro: Improvisation and The Theatre> by Keith Johnstone

We all have our own unique creativity within us, but often fear holds us back from unleashing it. We worry about being judged as lunatic or too edgy, and even doubt ourselves for not coming up with something groundbreaking enough. Do not deny your thoughts. Everyone has interesting weird thoughts. You don't need become lunatic and edgy to be creative, but don't try to suppress those ideas or pretend they don't exist. Accept your thoughts for what they are and let yourself be creative without fear of judgment. That's how you become creative.

This review was written while I wasn't focusing too much. If you are reading this, just take the message and don't dig too much.

I read this book in Korean.

I'm not familiar with the author nor the book. I was given this book by my "사수" or "SenPai" at work. He was a person who likes to gift books. He wrote a short letter on a blank page at the front of the book that he don't remember much of the content, but the concept of "Exchange of status", the fact that there always is difference of status between any group of more than two people, has left a strong impression on him. It's something that he would often think about at work.

Well, that's him. I also agree it's an interesting thought and it's a good tool to have in my pocket for social interaction, but thinking in such way is tiring, isn't it? I prefer to think of human interactions as "intention" and "desire" based. In my model of human interactions, good communication can reach the optimal result for both. It is not about who is higher or lower, and is about understanding each other's needs, and sometimes even one's own needs too.

My favorite part of this book was on creative thoughts, but let me correct my coworker's view on the "status" that the author was talking about. The way I took it is: "It is easier to make interesting human interactions if you keep in mind about the mechanics of the actors or the characters." After all, this book is about improvisational theatre. And I see that how it can help actors to put themselves in character with this approach.

In my favorite part when the author talks about how he was discouraged about his imaginations. There were mainly three reasons on why. The first thing that popped up in his mind felt either: - lunatic - edgy - or not creative enough I have been suffering about this for a long time too. Intrusive thoughts, curiosity and genuinely new thoughts have been punished by others but mostly by myself. The fear of being judged and ridiculed couldn't overcome my desire to explore anything.

The author continues to blame the schooling system for growing us as these "socially acceptable" and restrictive people. I can understand why he might think so, but I do not agree completely. Those intrusive thoughts should also learn to cope with the society and to be considerate and helpful to others too. I would agree that the school systems do too much to restrict us, but you shouldn't let them kill your thoughts.

The reason why I like about this part is because I felt understood and I felt I found solution. We all have unacceptable thoughts, and although we try our best to not show them, we sometimes actually like to see the ideas released. We don't have to embrace the edgy thoughts, but shouldn't shy away from it. Just accept your thoughts. And you don't have to try too hard to become "creative" your thoughts are already unique, even if they look plain on the surface.

[briamichellewrites]

49

Keith received an apology in the form of a text message from Brie. She apologized for her drug use and for getting him involved, including anything she may have said to him. He thanked her for her apology. Addiction made people do things they wouldn’t do sober. He wasn’t angry with her, just sad because he never wanted her to go through what he went through.

He wanted to visit her, so she gave him the name of the rehab center. She was staying there for six months. If he was ever in the area, she would love to see him. He like everyone else, saw her drug use being played out in the media. It wasn’t funny but people were treating her like a joke. They always went after people during their most vulnerable moments, when they needed the most help and support. Just so people could make fun of them.

Being back in rehab was weird, even though he was just visiting. He went to the front desk and a woman greeted him. How can I help you? He was there to visit a friend, Brie Shinoda. After finding the name, she brought him to the visitor’s area to wait for her. Thank you. When she walked over to him, he saw a very beautiful woman with glowing skin and gorgeous hair. Oh my god! He laughed.

He hugged her happily. They sat down together and he asked her how she was. She was up and down. It just depended on the mood. What happened? She became homeless after her overdose because the apartment she was staying in kicked her out for drug use. Her friends tried to get her into rehab multiple times but she refused and ran away. She ended up being caught stealing her friend’s antidepressant medication because she was desperate. They got it back.

Finally, her friend, Brad Pitt kidnapped her and held her hostage until her ex-husband and his boyfriend got home. He had made her sit in a chair and handcuffed her ankles, so she couldn’t escape. Her ex-husband’s boyfriend started talking to her about going back into the studio until she broke down and agreed to get help.

“He kidnapped you?”

“He invited me over and then handcuffed my ankles. I don’t even want to know why he had handcuffs to begin with but anyway.”

He laughed. “How are you friends with Brad Pitt?”

“He was my neighbor, so he would come over to hang out whenever he was home. When I moved in after buying my house, he came over and helped me move in.”

It was her house and her ex-husband was living in it? Yeah, she gave it to him in the divorce because it was just easier for him and their twins. She didn’t know if his boyfriend was living with them or not. Why were they getting divorced? They were getting divorced because she couldn’t be a mother due to her mental health issues.

He and his boyfriend were going to adopt the twins and share custody with the biological father. To do that, they had to divorce. It wasn’t anything traumatic. That made sense when he thought about it. He was letting her keep her last name because it was a pain in the ass to change it legally.

Belly laughs were contagious. The twins loved watching their silly grandfather. Patti shared a video she took of them with Bruce on the floor with Brie, Jessica, Sam, and Evan. Every time they laughed, it made the adults laugh. Cute! They were getting so big! Jessica couldn’t wait to see them again. Maybe the next time they were in LA, they could take them for a day to give Mike and Phoenix a break. Bruce and Patti had nothing but wonderful things to say about them.

They were both cared for by two daddies who loved them. Soon, they would be crawling all over the place and they would have to watch them carefully. How was Brie doing? She was doing better. Her mind was clear and she was able to look back at why she started using drugs. They told their children what they learned during their visit.

She was diagnosed with body dysmorphia, which was a type of OCD. Her mind obsessed over flaws in her body and she couldn’t get rid of the intrusive thoughts. She was learning how to manage her illness and her views of her body. What did she think was wrong with it? She hated her stomach. They thought she hated her body in general because everything she saw was things she wanted to change. Whether that was through plastic surgery or cosmetics.

It started after having the twins. They also learned that she started using cocaine in Paris and why she did it. It was so stupid. She never should have done it. Did she know how stupid it was? Yeah, she did. She had a lot of regret about it. Her friends had tried different times to get her help but she always ran away. It was Phoenix who finally got her to go.

“He asked her about her new album and what she wanted to do. Did she want to still do country or did she want to try something different? That got her to start thinking about her future. It took about an hour of them just talking before she broke down and agreed to get help”, Bruce explained.

They should meet Phoenix. He thought they would like him. Was that Mike’s boyfriend? Yeah. They thought they were living together but they didn’t know if it was official or not. It wasn’t their business. He was a great father to the twins and a wonderful boyfriend to Mike. Was that his real name? They didn’t think so but they couldn’t remember what his real name was. David, maybe? Something like that.

Yeah, it’s David or Dave but we call him Phoenix for his red hair. He goes by whatever. – Mike

The nickname made sense after it was explained to them. He was the calm Mike needed, especially during the situation with Brie. When he was stressed out, he was there to take over. They saw genuine love between them. Even though Mike would not be a legal in-law after the divorce, he would always be a part of their family.

phoenixlp: Brie has been a part of Linkin Park for a few years now. She is one of the most energetic, annoying, funny, and all-around beautiful people I’ve had the honor of meeting. Addiction sucks. It takes the people you love and transforms them into someone they don’t want to be. Underneath is the same person we have come to know and love. Inside is a woman threatening to kick my ass, calling me an asshole (lovingly, of course), and forcing all of us to listen to country music. We love you, @brielikethecheese, and can’t wait for you to come home!

The picture he posted was of her giving him the devil horns while in the studio. They were goofing off when he called out to her. He laughed when he took the picture on his phone. Looking back on it, he wished he could have kept her from experimenting with drugs. They didn’t know that going to Paris would cause her to have an addiction.

His account received new followers in Patti and Jessica, who also commented on his post. Linkin Park and their fans also left comments in support of Brie. She texted him later after seeing the post to thank him. It wasn’t a problem. He meant every word. She loved him and the band because they were her brothers. Putting his phone down, he looked over at everyone. They were waiting to start rehearsing but they were backed up because the equipment wasn’t working.

Everyone was on their phones patiently waiting. Rob and Brad were sitting in different places to not make it obvious they were in a secret relationship. After confessing to Elisa about sleeping with him, she demanded a divorce if he wasn’t willing to go to marriage counseling and stop the affair. He was falling in love with Rob and he was caught between him and his family.

While he figured out what he wanted, he was not allowed to come home. He was staying with Rob at his apartment. It would be hard to keep his hands off him during the tour but he would have to. They were too private to have their affair exposed. After an hour, their equipment was fixed. They thanked the mechanic as they got up and went to their instruments. At least it was only an hour and not an entire day. They had time to make up for it.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia @boricuacherry-blog

[slobberjaws]

He was huffing, panting as his fans tried desperately to get some proper air flow through his system. That was incredible, but so much work..

When Keith went over to mop up the mess between his legs he breathed in rather sharp, twitching just a little- he couldn't help it, clearly, but he was definitely trying to stay still.

It took a little bit of quiet recollection, the soft afterglow of their activity more than enough to keep any thoughts from taking over- But once the similarities started to piece together, he couldn't help the soft hiccup in his breath. His legs came up to his bare chest, the gentle shakes and sparks from their coitus still fresh in his system.

He didn't think he'd ever feel that way again. It was so... so good, but...

It just reminded him of back then. It was one of the more prevalent desires during it after all...

He keeps a hand over his optic, knowing these feelings were stupid and intrusive- unwanted right now. He really didn't want them to ruin this- For either him nor Keith.

Hopefully he just doesn't pry.

The body the corrupted core chose was one that kept it's original form, but allowed him much more mobility. A simple, deeply buried design that was attributed to someone named Keith Astor. The core had indicated to the AMA its location within the files of the large, mazelike systems Aperture ran on... And judging by the software inside the core, he had some knowledge of who had created the files.

It had been a visionary piece. Not all of the materials were even available to AMA... But of course, it likely did it's best. Recplacing and substituting wherever it couldn't do the exact job the schematics entailed.

And finally, the core was able to be released from the chamber on the plate, unsteady and barely calibrated. He leaned against the wall for balance, the optic in his head spinning and blinking slowly... He'd kept the main body of a core for his head, minus the limiting handles, and his body was a slightly modified version of the regular models of this time.. Though it was much more modular... Whoever had made it had done so with the ease of modifications in mind..

He felt as if he were biting his tongue, anxious to speak for fear it would still come out wrong.. He hadn't spoken a word of sense in decades, it was perhaps only fair that he were tense...

@adventuregunsphere

The A.M.A had looked over its work. The arm it had used was seemingly a bit tense itself as it tried to analyze what it had done. It was unable to be exact with the schematics provided to it, so it wasn't entirely happy with how it came out. It wasn't perfect.

Nevertheless, it tried to push this aside. It did its best with what it had. The parts for this model were outdated afterall...

[Please proceed with caution; calibration has not been sufficiently completed.]

It watched quietly afterward. What could it have done better? What substitutes should it have used that would have been closer to the original blueprint? What if its estimation caused any errors or discomfort? It would not know. Not until the problems were found. So it sat in unease, anticipating a major flaw.

[mischiefmanifold]

According to your blog you think that creepy little kids killing their pets and abusing/CSAing other kids as a "coping mechanism" to "deal with abuse" should be more normalized/accepted than survivors writing a dead dove fic about their trauma? 😬😬😬

You’re gravely misunderstanding the post I reblogged about conduct disorder in children.

Yes, I believe that being proship is inherently harmful, no matter who is doing it. I used to be a proshipper and still struggle with intrusive thoughts related to those types of sexual acts. Dead dove and proship fics contributed to the severity of my intrusive sexual thoughts and did not help me cope with my trauma in any way.

Go reread that post or go away.