#Kazuki doesn’t know what to do

[reine-uls]

TEASER for Cold Affections chapter 34:

Little Fox and Kazuki:

[lilyginnyblackv2]

Buddy Daddies - Episode 7 - Thought Post - Side Rei

Oh, Rei...OTL

This episode was an eye opener for him. But, I also think it did a good job of highlighting how this isn’t just Rei “being lazy” and not contributing enough, but also about Rei just not knowing how to do these things. 

When he opens the fridge, he doesn’t even know which stuff in there is the food. And this is because of his upbringing, not necessarily because he was rich, but because he was brought up to kill and that was it. Skills pertaining to his ability to kill were the only thing his father and family focused on, so that was all he learned. 

If you don’t teach a child how to do something (whether physically or emotionally), how can we expect them to know how to do it as an adult? That’s the issue facing Rei here. That’s not to say that he is completely blameless here or that he hasn’t put in any effort. He has, but a lot of the things he does right tend to be more accidental and where he is largely putting in some effort (like playing games with her) is a bit misguided. Making sure she stays protected from people who can harm her is an area he has gotten extremely good at though.

But, let’s look at some of the things that I think Rei accidentally gets right with Miri. By being, on a life skills and emotional development level, in a similar place as Miri, he ends up accidentally being really good at allowing Miri to guide him at times. For example, in this week’s episode we have this moment:

Rei is in front of her closet, looks at her, and askes, “What do you need to take?” He’s asking about her things for daycare. Miri is then able to point to the sheet of paper that tells him everything he needs (a little checklist). This is a good thing to do with children around Miri’s age from time to time, since it can not only work as a good confidence booster for them, but also let the parent or teacher know that the child understands aspects of their daily routine.

Of course, it isn’t good for a parent or teacher to rely on this. Why? Because the child is still a child and still learning and will sometimes make mistakes, like Miri does when she says to Rei, “Don’t I have daycare today?” And then this mistake is what ultimately leads to Miri developing a cold and fever later on in the episode, because she wasn’t wearing proper clothes and Rei was riding too fast, thus making it even colder and wetter.

But, we’ll get back to that in a bit.

The rest of this I will put under a Read More due to length.

We also see that Rei views Miri on pretty equal footing in many ways. Here are two examples of this: 

The first is when Miri asks to play Morio Kart with Rei and he tells her “no,” because she gets upset when she loses. This indicates that he doesn’t go easy on her, which is a good thing. Allowing children to lose at games is a good thing. The not so good thing though, is that she gets upset when she loses and Rei doesn’t help her through that (because he, himself, doesn’t know how to handle emotions like that). So, instead, he basically just parent-locks the game away from her. That doesn’t help her learn, that just ends up punishing her, in a way, for not being able to understand how to express her upset. Of course, that isn’t Rei’s intentions.

The second example of this is the scene when Miri and Rei are eating the dinner Kazuki made:

He doesn’t force her to eat the food (and neither does Kazuki in the end, actually), but he also goes down to her level in not showing proper acknowledgement of the hard work Kazuki put into making the meal. We saw this earlier in the episode too:

After a meal they have earlier in the episode, Miri says a proper “Thanks for the food,” in Japanese ごちそうさまでした (gouchisousamadeshita). The subs have Rei say, “Same.” And that is an excellent translation (really, kudos to the sub and dub translators for Buddy Daddies, because the translations have been so good in general!). Basically, Rei just ends up parroting off of Miri in this scene by saying the tail end of the full, proper saying. He just says でした (deshita). 

Up until this week’s episode, Rei was able to skate by on not having these skills, because Kazuki would just do all this stuff for him, and there were no real consequences or level of accountability for his actions. The closest was Episode 5, but that ended up working out okay.

In this week’s episode, Miri does end up being all right, but she isn’t completely safe from harm. Because of Rei’s lack of life skills, Miri ends up getting very sick. This ends up scaring Rei shitless.

The scene of him going around, opening all the draws and seeing absolutely nothing he could use to help Miri. The closest thing being medicine that are for adults only (another great detail that highlight how both Kazuki and Rei are still learning how to make their household accommodating for a child). Is a great way to show just how panicked and worried he was, since I’m sure everyone has had a similar experience to this one, when looking for something very important you need - and just not finding it.

Eventually, Rei realizes he needs to take her to a doctor and that he needs to seek outside help right away to make sure she gets better. And that is a great thing about this week’s episode. Kazuki and Rei’s storylines are kept separate for the most part, because the episode highlights how getting help outside of your partner is necessary sometimes (and is far healthier). Before, they were being co-dependent and that was taking a toll on them (Rei with a lack of skills, and Kazuki with being able to keep locking away his emotions and not allowing himsef to move on because he could focus all his time and energy on caring for Miri and Rei). 

In the end, they both find the right person in their extended family and community to help them in just the right way that they need. Kyutaro for Rei (not Kazuki he wasn’t the right fit), and Karin for Kazuki.

Before Rei brings Miri to Kyutaro though, he has the realization of:

“I can’t do anything.”

And that is very, very important. This was his wake-up call that he if he wants to make sure no harm comes to Miri, then he needs to step up his game and put effort into learning these skills. Because yes, he is an adult who wasn’t taught these things, but he is also an adult who is responsible for a child - a whole other life. And I think that finally sunk in for Rei this episode.

When Kazuki gets home he sees that the apartment is a mess and at first thinks that it is just because Rei and Miri are both not good at household chores, so that is just the expected outcome. But then he sees this in Miri’s room:

Miri sleeping in her bed with Rei sleeping right beside her, his hand covering hers. She has a wet washcloth on her forehead, a glass of water on the bedside table, an opened medicine packet from the pharmacist, and a thermometer is sitting in arms reach. Everything that should be there, is, and Rei made sure Miri took the medicine and got the sleep that she needed. 

In the end, he was able to make sure Miri got everything she needed in this situation. He took care of her. 

Finally, the episode ends with Rei (with what seemed to be implied the help of Miri) making Kazuki French toast.

It isn’t the best. It’s burnt and seems like it may have been oversaturated as well, so it likely doesn’t taste the best either. But Rei and Miri tried. They put love and effort into that. And Rei looks very nervous and eager at the same time. He wants to know how he did:

His shoulders are tense, his eyebrows furrowed, and he leans forward. This is a great step in the right direction and reminds me of how people often say that children want to be helpful. Rei’s never really been given the chance to be helpful before now, but not that he has that experience, it seems like he wants to try and actually be helpful. 

So let’s hope that we see him doing just that! I want future episodes to carry this character growth over, just like they’ve carried plot points over before (such as their issue with going over their budget in Episode 4 leading to money issues in Episode 5). I have trust in the writers and directors that they will though. Otherwise, it would make this episode a moot one. Here’s to Rei Papa continuing to learn and grow and do his best! <3

[explosionkatsu]

“Age doesn’t matter” 5

Dad!Bakugou x F!Babysitter!Teacher!Reader

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Hearing what Kazui said made her completely stop. Mama? Why would he think that? Was it because she takes care of him like her own child?

“K-Kazuki. I don't think that's something possible.” Ms. Y/n said washing her hands before she approach the now pouting Kazui.

“Why not?” Kazui said, now tearing up. “My classmates have a mama. Why I don't have one? Why can't I have one?” he was now sobbing.

Seeing his tears pour breaks her heart. Ms. Y/n dreamt of having her own child, but because of how life can be challenging, how she can't afford to buy her own house or a decent permanent job, she set her dream aside and focus on trying to make it at least to the cruel world.

But nothing is crueler to a child not having a mother wanting to have one.

“Shh.” Ms. Y/n carried and embrace Kazui who was sobbing in her arms. “I’m sorry, Kazui.”

Then it suddenly went quiet. Ms. Y/n was still holding Kazui in her arms.

“Kazui?” Ms. Y/n called out, but get no response. When she slowly made her way to a mirror, she saw him fast asleep. She looked at him for a moment, sad that she couldn’t do anything for Kazui. It took a while for her to bring him up to her bedroom and tucked him in, caressing his cheek that was stained from his tears.

Ms. Y/n then left her bedroom. She decided to keep the door open in case she heard him wake up. She strides down the stair and went back to the kitchen where she left some of the burger steaks she molded. As soon as she washed her hands again to proceed, she saw her phone lit up causing her to look at it. When she saw the unknown number, she slightly frowns. But when she clicked on the message, she blinked in surprise.

It was Mr. Bakugou.

..

Once Katsuki settled in his car, he placed a bag beside him. A thank-you gift for Kazui’s teacher.

Giving anyone a gift isn't his thing, but Ms. Y/n's kind gesture made him want to. This is the least he could do to show her he appreciates what she does.

And so, Katsuki turned on the engine when he received the address he needed and drove his way to the said address. seeing he was nearing the address, he noticed it was close to the school. After just a few minutes of walking, for sure they'd reach it.

He remembered Ms. Y/n telling him there was a near convenience store and taking a right turn. As soon as he turned right, he immediately saw her apartment and slowed down. Once closed, he pulled up but didn't leave his car.

Katsuki is nervous. He didn't know how to approach her. His palms are sweating, and so was his forehead, and believe it or not? This was pissing him off. So with all the courage he has. Wait? Why does he need courage for this? He's just going to pick Kazui and hand his gift to her.

That’s fucking it.

Katsuki groan, starting to get frustrated. Without thinking, he grab the bag beside him and exited his car, slamming the door shut behind him.

Ms. Y/n heard this, making her jump and slightly spilling the hamburger steak sauce. “What was that..” She mumbled to herself and wiped her sauce-filled hand.

She made her way to her apartment door even though she knows it was a bad idea. But curiosity got in her and grab the doorknob, twisted it, and pulled the door open. She comes face-to-face with Mr. Bakugou who has his hand raised, about to knock.

“U-uh. Good evening! Mr. Bakugou!” She slightly stuttered. “Please come in!”

Seeing him in an awkward position made katsuki's face turn slightly pink, all the way to his ears. “Ahem. Thanks.” He said in a quiet voice.

Ms. Y/n closed the door behind her as soon as Katsuki get in. “I'm sorry about the mess. I have a lot of papers to work on.” She said sweating dropped when she saw him eye the papers stacked on her coffee table. “Please have a seat.” She added as she collect all the papers and headed to her bedroom.

When she came back, she made her way to the kitchen switched the fire off on her stove, and saw Katsuki sitting on the sofa. “Make yourself at home.” She smiled. “You might be looking for Kazui, he’s currently sleeping in my bedroom.”

Ms. Y/n opened one of the kitchen cabinets and grab two glasses. She then grabs a drink and pours the content into the glass.

Katsuki was quiet even though he can hear her talking . He was checking her apartment which was neat, and organized, with no dust in sight. Except for the stack he saw earlier, which was now gone.

Her apartment was indeed small, like what Kazui said. But she made it look homey. Unlike his quiet home. Even though he has all those branded furniture and expensive stuff. Never in a while, had he felt his house homey. But he, sitting in someone’s home? Knowing that Y/n is living alone, single-

Wait, was she single?

Katsuki’s thoughts about her apartment suddenly vanish. I mean, was she by herself?

Getting inquisitive, he looks for a sign of another person living with her. A male person. But all he saw was what a single woman has.

How old was she again? 23? Right. She’s too young and still unraveling her future.

Well, age doesn’t matter to him.

What? The fuck was he thinking? Why would he think that?

Katsuki internally smacks himself in the face. He’s not looking for any relationship right now. After what happened. He’s too scared to try again.

“Here. Seems like you're deep in thought.”

Katsuki blinked being cut off and saw Ms. Y/n place a cup of tea in front of him.

“Thank you.” He said.

Why was he being quiet anyway?

“You’re welcome.” Ms. Y/n smiled at him. “I actually poured you an orange juice and was about to give it to you but it seems like you're stressed. So I made you some tea. I hope you don't mind camomile?” She giggled and went back to the kitchen.

“It’s fine,” Katsuki said. “Where’s Kazui?”

Ms. Y/n blinked. Didn't she say he’s asleep? Maybe Mr. Bakugou was too deep in thought that he wasn't listening to everything you said.

“He’s sleeping in my bedroom.” You chuckled making Katsuki look at you raising an eyebrow which made you panic and immediately apologize.

“Why're you apologizing?” Katsuki asked and gently gran the tea in front of him. The aroma made him relax.

“I was being rude.” Ms. Y/n smiled nervously.

She’s always smiling.

"You're not," Katsuki said and took a sip.

Ms. Y/n only smiled before going back to her kitchen and preparing the plates needed. "Have you had your dinner, Mr. Bakugou?" You asked.

As if on cue, Katsuki's stomach started making a sound making him blush and her, giggle.

"I'll take that as a no." You said. "I made Hamburger steak. Kazui requested it."

"Hah? I swear to god that spoiled ass brat." Katsuki said, this time, out loud.

"Would you want a plate, Mr-

"Just call me Bakugou. I hate this formality and such. It's fucking pissing me off." Katsuki said as he placed the teacup back on the coffee table.

This doesn't surprise you anymore. Why? Because there are times Y/n watches television in her free time and saw how Dynamight swears a lot. Even civilians got used to this.

"Alright, Bakugou." Ms. Y/n chuckled and just prepare another plate for him. "You can go wake Kazui so we can all eat. The more the merrier right?"

"Don't order me around." Katsuki tsked but follow otherwise.

He heard a low sorry when he walked past the kitchen and straight to her bedroom where he saw the door wide open. He was about to go straight inside but he stopped midway. He's trespassing on her privacy. But she was the one who gave him permission, plus, he's only waking Kazui up, so it doesn't matter. So he continued and went straight into her bedroom and saw a double-sized bed where he saw Kazui sleeping peacefully.

"Oi." Katsuki called but got no reponse. "Brat. Wake up. We're going to eat dinner."

Seeing his son won't wake up anytime soon, he picks him up and carries him in his arms. "Kazui, wake up. Ms. Y/n made us dinner. You spoiled brat."

Kazui lightly stirred in his father's arms before completely waking up, and rubbing his eyes. "Papa," he mumbled.

Katsuki only watched his son.

"Where's mama.." Kazui yawned and snuggled back into his arms.

Katsuki was frozen in his place. Shocked, confused, angry? He doesn't know what to feel when he once again heard his son looking for his mother.

"Why are you looking for her?" Katsuki asked, hoping he would get a response despite knowing how drowsy his son is.

"Mama Y/n.."

[rweiser]

so i was re-watching Buddy Daddies and i noticed something:

the games that we see Rei playing/owning at first appear to be much more adult oriented, based on the dark and moody colours featured in the game screenshot and on the info books we can see when Miri knocks all the game cases over. also—and very importantly—Rei tells Miri that he doesn’t have Morio Kart (which, based on the game it’s obviously referencing, is geared towards all-ages) when she asks about it. so right away the show establishes a divide between Miri and Rei

but later, after we get the cute episode in which Rei finally accepts the title of papa, we see Rei happily wandering around with his plushies:

that we later find out are characters from the game, Morio Kart:

and that made me realize that it was definitely Miri who introduced Rei to Morio Kart, and he learned to delight in it’s child-friendly simplicity—much like we’ve seen before with the sugary breakfast cereal or even playing at the park. the more Miri and Rei bond, the more Rei experiences what childhood could—and should—be.

and i think it’s really important that they are bonding through play—something Rei never got to experience growing up. and unlike Kazuki who at least seems to have some degree of parental instinct, Rei doesn’t really know how to behave around children, so finding that common ground with video games is so important to their developing relationship. i mean, whenever Miri talks about Rei to other people, she always mentions how good he is at video games, and we’re always given the impression that aside from jobs, Rei doesn’t do a lot with his spare time aside from gaming. video games are a major aspect of their relationship, and without them, they might not have been able to grow as close as they have now.

(side note: i think it’s interesting how Rei seems to favour the two characters—the dark wolf and the bright feminine one—in Morio Kart. i’ve seen others draw the comparisons between Rei and Kazuki and the two characters based on the similar dark/light theme going on, but i’d like to suggest that the comparison should actually be with Rei and Miri; the lighter character appears more feminine like Miri and also has bows in its hair similar to Miri’s hair clip. it could be another way of showing how Rei and Miri are growing closer)

[logicalbookthief]

With the return of Misaki and the uncertainty over Miri’s custody, I think it’s time to talk about the cat.

Because the cat is a direct parallel, and the reason why I believe things will go differently this time around, since they’ve both grown a lot over the last year.

The argument over the cat perfectly illustrates the crux of Rei & Kazuki’s issues at the start of the series.

Kazuki tells Rei that buying food for the cat isn't enough, you have to be willing to put in the work — and, given that he was gone for one night and comes home to an apartment filled with smoke, along with a pile of take-out and garbage, he was 100% justified in refusing the stray. Genuinely I don’t get why Kazuki taking this stance got the hate it did, any responsible pet owner would look at the Rei of Ep 1 and agree he was not ready for a cat.

However, this is something that Rei grows to understand when he’s left to care for Miri on his own in Ep 7 and Kazuki isn’t around to shoulder that responsibility. Rei realizes that his actions, or inaction, can negatively affect the people in his care, and it gives him a reason to change. I think it also gives him a new appreciation for everything Kazuki does, hence his attempt at French toast.

But I feel we don't discuss Kazuki's reason for giving up the cat enough, because they’re two sides of the same coin.

What he’s saying is objectively true and you can tell he’s speaking from a place of experience with what happened to Yuzuko. However, he is only focused on how what they do can affect the other people in their lives. No mention of how it would feel to lose someone or any lingering on how lonely this life is.

It’s a contrast to Rei, who brings home the stray without a second thought, simply because he wants to, not considering the impact it would have on the cat. Kazuki takes this to the opposite extreme, only considering what’s best for the cat and completely ignoring his own wants and feelings.

So, as we know, the cat is left where Rei found it. Not an ideal situation, no — much like leaving Miri with her mother would be, considering she did abandon her before — but it is the safer option in both cases.

Watch these scenes and tell me he isn’t fond of the cat. And when he realizes it’s cold and comes back with food for the little guy? Yeah, don’t tell me he wasn’t already attached.

But he comes back to an empty box. Implying to Kazuki, and to us the audience, that the cat was taken in by someone who could give it the normal, loving life that it deserves, which is why Kazuki leaves with a smile.

It is interesting to note that despite his disagreement, Rei went along with Kazuki’s decision over the cat, just as he went along with Kazuki’s decisions regarding Miri, whether that meant taking her back to her mom or committing to being her parents.

I always read this scene as Rei seeing how happy Kazuki is having Miri around. And thus he questions if this is really what Kazuki wants to do, resulting in that startled expression on Kazuki’s face. Like he hadn’t even considered that possibility.

Rei is perceptive, recognizing that Kazuki will be sad to see her go, yet he doesn’t argue when Kazuki firmly negates this as an option while looking upset again.

Kazuki has made strides in moving on from his wife’s death, but the idea that it’s okay to move on doesn’t erase the insecurities and tendency toward self-loathing he’s displayed, which were probably there long before he met Yuzuko. Even when he reconciles with Karin, her words of encouragement are, “I bet you can make her [Miri] happy!”

So if he truly believes that Miri will be happier or safer with her mother, Kazuki will absolutely choose to let her go.

And it will be up to Rei to go against his decision for once, because he knows that remaining a family is what they both want.

Here, Kazuki looks sad and resigned. I was always sort of disappointed we didn’t get a scene of Rei & Kazuki during Ep 7 when he was at his lowest and most self-deprecating. Now, though, I wonder if they were saving such a confrontation for this moment right here. Where Rei will have to convince him that his own happiness is a priority, too, and that their family is worth fighting for.

Now, uh. I do think that Rei’s decision that they stay together as a family will result in tragedy — there is too much foreshadowing to pretend otherwise — and that maybe Miri will have to stay with her mother for a bit out of necessity. But the point of this episode I think will be to highlight how much these two have grown because they wanted to be better for Miri and that it isn’t selfish to want to pursue that happiness for their own sakes, too.

[mixedup-sideblog]

Let’s talk about this scene…

I’ve seen some really unfair takes on this so far and I can only conclude it’s because some people either want completely flawless characters or cannot use a little bit of critical thinking…

First the one thing we should all agree on - this is not ok, this is misogynistic, this is unsympathetic and this is unfair.

However, it is also realistic, there are a few reasons for this:

1. His Trauma

It’s absolutely not a coincidence that we learn Kazuki never knew/met his own parents before we see this scene, it’s also not a coincidence that we know from previous episodes that he was almost a father but that horrifically his pregnant wife and unborn child were k*lled before he had the chance to even get a flavour of what it felt like to have a family.

He is being faced with a woman who has a living child, who has had the chance at family he has never been able to have and she’s rejecting it. Now I’m not saying it’s right but it’s understandable that his anger pours out here, he has these unrealistic ideals thoughts about motherhood/parenthood because he hasn’t lived them but he has so so desperately wanted to, has had that taken away from him and of course it really f*ckin hurts. Yes he disregards her reasoning, yes he’s never been a woman but if you think this traumatised man with absolutely no baseline for family values is going to say the exact right thing (or not the completely wrong thing) in a heightened emotional confrontation about family then you need to have a re-think, this was never going to be a pleasant healing encounter.

2. Miri

Something people also seem to be forgetting, he’s there to return her daughter. The little girl he is already besotted with/devoted to, the little girl he doesn’t want to give back (set up nicely in the episode by Rei repeatedly calling him a lousy liar). He’s faced with her mother saying she always wanted to hit her, no matter who you are do not tell me in the heat of the moment you wouldn’t be getting up and yelling about how they should be a better parent, his reaction is defensive, his words are lofty and that line is unfair but his empathy in the moment is not for this stranger who’s saying she wants to hit her (his) daughter, it’s for Miri, the little girl he fed breakfast and chanted ‘bananya’ with in the kitchen that morning.

I think Miri’s mother is written in a way that we are supposed to feel some empathy for her, and I do 100%, but I also think that empathy needs to be extended to Kazuki’s character here too. At the end of the day these are two flawed and deeply traumatised characters having an argument - what comes out of their mouths isn’t always going to be pretty.

This turned out way longer than I thought it would but I needed to get it off my chest! Yes it’s a bad take, but it hasn’t come from nothing. I think it’s likely a bit of a set up so we can see him move from these kind of ideals to a more realistic outlook.

[jenanigans1207]

“Did you ever think,” Kyu sets down the glass he had been polishing to make direct eye contact with Kazuki. Or as direct as was possible with Kazuki, who had thrown himself dramatically over the countertop and was staring up through his eyelashes. “that you aren’t the only one who’s afraid?”

Kazuki’s eyebrows rise so far up that they disappear below his hair. “What?”

“I’m just saying.” Kyu shrugs like this isn’t a vastly important conversation, shrugs like he doesn’t have the entirety of Kazuki’s attention laser-focused on him. “It’s something to consider.”

It’s silent for a moment as Kazuki contemplates this. And then he sits upright, the conversation demanding proper posture. “What does Rei have to be afraid of?”

Kyu doesn’t say anything, but his gaze bores heavily into Kazuki.

But the question hangs in the air between them. What does Rei have to be afraid of? He has an apartment, a job, and Kazuki. Between those things, there isn’t anything he could want for. Between those things, there isn’t even anything that Rei needs to do, that’s the whole goddamn problem. He doesn’t have to do the dishes, or the laundry, doesn’t have to kiss Miri’s scraped knees, or tuck her into bed. He doesn’t have to do anything because he knows that Kazuki will.

“Kyu.” Kazuki says on the end of a sigh.

Kyu lets out his own sigh and leans against the counter. “You’re complaining that Rei won’t help with Miri, right?”

“Right.” Kazuki confirms. When Kyu just stares at him pointedly, Kazuki adds. “She’s a handful, but she’s not scary.”

“He’s not scared of Miri.” Kyu answers, a wry smile on the corners of his lips at the thought of sweet, darling Miri being scary. “He’s scared of not being a good enough father.”

The words stir something in Kazuki. It’s a fear that he knows well, too. Miri deserves everything, every happiness that has ever existed. He, too, is constantly afraid that he’s falling short of their precious daughter. It’s not like he has any more experience in this than Rei, not like he has any clue what the hell they’re supposed to be doing. He’s certainly failed as many times as he has succeeded, but those failures haven’t stopped him yet.

“The easiest way to not be good enough is to not try.” Kazuki murmurs after a minute, but some of his bitterness has receded.

The thought of Rei being afraid softens something in Kazuki. Besides the fact that Rei is completely fearless with his own life— though it’s not that he’s fearless about losing his life as much as it is that he disregards the importance of his own life— he doesn’t show too many emotions and when he does show them, they’re small. Kazuki had learned to read all of Rei’s micro expressions though, had learned how to notice the emotions that he did feel. And it was true that recently there had been more of them.

When Kyu responds, his voice is quiet and somber, his words cutting straight through to Kazuki’s heart. “What if he tries and he’s not better than the boss?” Kyu stares at him, intense. “The only example he has of a father is the kind of father he doesn’t want to be.”

“Rei would never be anything like that!” Kazuki defends vehemently, slamming a fist down on the counter between him and Kyu. “He’s so gentle with Miri! He would give her anything she wanted without hesitation, and he worries about her. He would never treat her the way he was treated!”

“I know that.” Kyu answers. “And you know that. But does Rei know that?”

Kazuki feels the blood in his veins turn to ice as he considers Kyu’s point. Does Rei know that he’s nothing like his father? Does he know that the only thing Miri wants from him is just for him to try? So what if he fumbles and makes the most ridiculous rice balls Kazuki has ever heard of? Miri will love it and Kazuki’s heart will melt in his chest as he watches the way Rei tries not to smile.

But at the same time, Kazuki knows that Kyu is on to something and honestly, he feels a little silly for not having figured it out himself. Kazuki had been the one to join up with Rei almost immediately after Rei had moved out of his family’s estate, he had seen first hand all the damage that had been done to Rei and his heart. And maybe it was because Kazuki generally thought of Rei as numb that he didn’t consider the possibility of Rei being scared, but even that doesn’t sit right with him. Because Rei hasn’t been numb for a long time, now.

In the beginning he had been, completely and utterly without an opinion at any point. He moved like a robot, did what he was told, and kept to himself all the rest of the time. It was months before Kazuki found out that there were foods that Rei didn’t like and even longer before the first time he heard Rei laugh. But now Kazuki did know Rei’s food preferences, knew what his laugh sounded like, had seen the warmth of his smile. Now he knew that Rei could play the piano, and he napped like a cat in the sunlight during long summer afternoons. Now he knew that Rei had a quick wit, he just had to listen closely to hear the quips. Rei even sought him out now, inviting him to play games or just seating himself at the table while Kazuki worked on something. He may still do bizarre shit like sleep in the bathtub, but he also valued human connection now.

Rei wasn’t the cold, isolated, shut-down person he had been when they first met. And now that they had Miri, he was changing even more right before Kazuki’s eyes. He was softening, warming, learning how to be responsible. He was learning to give bits of himself to someone else— he just never seemed to realize that he had those bits to give.

“So that’s it…” Kazuki whispers, thinking of all the times Rei hesitated when Miri asked him to do something.

He wanted so badly to make Miri happy that he was paralyzed by his fear that he couldn’t bring her that desired happiness. He wanted so badly for Miri to have the kind of childhood he never had that he had convinced himself that he needed to be uninvolved, lest he bring the same tragedy to her, too. Every time Rei hesitated, or pushed her off onto Kazuki instead, it came from a genuinely selfless desire for Miri to have the best, and a genuine belief that he could never the best that Miri deserved.

It’s so obvious, Kazuki wants to kick himself for not seeing it. It’s so fucking stupid, Kazuki wants to kick Rei for believing that he was anything other than a gift to both him and Miri. He wanted to kick Rei for not seeing how much they both loved him, how happy everyone was when he involved himself in something. He wanted to kick Rei for not recognizing that Miri felt safe with him, something that he never would’ve been able to say about his own dad.

“Thanks, Kyu.” Kazuki says as he stands abruptly, the chair scraping behind him.

Kyu probably says something in response, but Kazuki is already halfway out the door.

—x

When Kazuki makes it home, he finds Rei seated on the couch, controller in hand, tv muted as he plays his games in clear attempt to not wake Miri who is sprawled out across his lap. Even from the doorway, Kazuki can see Miri’s small smile in her sleep, her cheek smooshed against Rei’s leg, her arm thrown over his lap.

“Welcome back,” Rei says quietly as Kazuki crosses into the apartment fully.

The apartment isn’t as clean as Kazuki would’ve had it if he’d been home all day, but it’s also not the disaster he had expected it to be. There was clearly at least some attempt to clean that had been made, and that realization alone makes Kazuki’s throat tighten.

“Have you guys eaten dinner?” Kazuki asks, clearing his throat when his words come out a little strangled.

Rei has completely paused his game and is regarding Kazuki wearily, obviously hesitant after Kazuki had stormed out this morning. “There were leftovers.”

“And you actually heated them up this time?” Kazuki teases.

The joke seems to diffuse some of Rei’s hesitation and he rolls his eyes, refusing to dignify the comment with a response. Instead, he just turns back to the tv and resumes his game. But even as he’s playing, Kazuki can feel the way Rei is keeping tabs on him out of the corner of his eye.

Kazuki continues to stand awkwardly at the edge of the couch for a few long seconds, trying to decide how to go about the conversation he wants to have. When Rei pauses his game a second time and turns to him with raised eyebrows and a frown, he decides there isn’t a tactful way to go about it and chooses to just dive on in.

“Rei, you know that you’re nothing like your father, right?” Kazuki says, his voice quiet. He can’t quite bring himself to meet Rei’s eyes, but he’s still looking in Rei’s direction.

Which means that he sees the way Rei’s lips part in surprise, his eyebrows rising. “What?”

“That’s what all this is, right?” Kazuki asks, gesturing vaguely to where Miri is curled up against him, feeling his heart swell as Rei looks down at her and his eyes soften. “All the things you refuse to do with her— it’s because you think you’re doing to be a shit father like he was, isn’t it?”

Rei is quiet for a long second and this time, the conflicting emotions are so clear on his face that anyone would be able to see them, not just Kazuki. Kazuki had learned a long time ago to give Rei time and space when waiting for a response and so that’s what he does— he waits quietly until Rei pulls together wherever it is that he wants to say.

And even though Kazuki expects his response to be heartbreaking, he’s not prepared for how it hurts.

“I didn’t have a good childhood.” Rei glances up, but then immediately glances away when he noticed Kazuki’s attention. “I was raised to be an assassin. And assassins don’t smile, they don’t laugh, they don’t get to experience or enjoy life. That’s— that’s all I know and I don’t want that for Miri.”

Honestly, if Miri weren’t in his lap, Kazuki doesn’t think he’d be able to stop himself from dragging Rei into a hug.

“I’ve met your dad.” Kazuki concedes with an inclination of the head, his throat so tight that it burns. “He’s not warm or patient, he’s not gentle or caring. But Rei, you are. You always have been, even before we had Miri.” Rei’s head snaps in his direction, his eyes wide as he listens. “You’ve always been the one to bandage my wounds, or to take care of me when I’m sick. You’ve always put my safety first on a job.”

“That’s different—“

“No it’s not.” Kazuki interrupts before Rei can say anything else. “For the childhood you had, those things are monumental. And I’m so proud of you for them.”

Rei swallows and looks away. “That doesn’t mean I can do shit like cook bentos and heal broken hearts.”

“Do you remember what you said to me the first time I tried to bandage one of your wounds?” Kazuki ducks his head a little to catch Rei’s eyes.

“That you sucked at it.”

“That I would get better if I practiced,” Kazuki recalls, completely ignoring Rei’s quip. It's actually not that uncommon for Kazuki to remember that day, because Rei's words had been so gentle and unexpected. For a guy who had been nothing but quiet and isolated since they had met, he'd been so quick to try to encourage and reassure Katsuki. "You told me that trying was all that mattered and if I kept trying, I would be good in no time."

Kazuki watches as the point strikes home, as Rei's shoulders hunch up to his ears in a last ditch defense. He watches as Rei shifts, just a little, as if trying to get away from the thought. But he has Miri in his lap and wouldn't risk disturbing her.

"I—"

"Rei." Kazuki finally crosses the distance between them and crouches in front of the couch. He has one hand placed on Rei's knee, the other gently on Miri's back. She stirs in her sleep, her smile growing as if she can feel both of her papas there. She snuggles closer to Rei. "Don't you see that you've already been trying? That's why Miri and I love you so much."

Rei's breath hitches and Kazuki can't stop a wobbly smile as he looks up at Rei's shocked face. "You guys—?"

"Love you?" Kazuki repeats, laughing a little. "Thanks for noticing."

"Kazuki..." Rei meets his gaze, even if he still looks a little uncomfortable. His hand finds Kazuki's where it rests on Miri's back, warm as his fingers thread through Kazuki's. "Thanks."

Kazuki's heart beats so hard in his chest that he thinks it might break through his ribs entirely. He's been fortunate enough to love a lot of things in his life. His childhood may not have been great, but it hadn't robbed him of simple pleasures and joys the way Rei's had. Kazuki had been able to experience a lot of things and had been able to love a lot of people throughout his life, but he wasn't sure he'd ever loved anyone quite the way he loved Rei and this family they had created. Because this was the kind of thing that defied all odds, this was the kind of thing that absolutely should not exist, but did. They fought tooth and nail every day to create a better life than the one they had both been given and it was moments like this where Kazuki really realized that they were succeeding.

"Now if you really don't want to be like your dad," Kazuki says as he tightens his fingers around Rei's, "You can learn to do things like the dishes, and how to style Miri's hair."

Rei rolls his eyes, but his smile is the biggest Kazuki has ever seen and it's definitively warm and content. It makes Kazuki think his heart might burst instead, but he loves the feeling. He smiles back at Rei, starting to press back up into a standing position.

But Rei's hand on his his firm, and it doesn't allow Kazuki to go far.

Kazuki pauses, halfway to a standing position, hunched over as he looks at Rei.

"For the record," Rei is looking down at their conjoined hands, his cheeks dusted the same pink as Miri's shirt. "I love you guys, too."

This time, it's Kazuki's breath that gets caught in his throat as he waits for Rei to look up at him. "Yeah?"

Rei sets down his controller from his other hand, reaching out for Kazuki. Kazuki comes willingly, easily, leaning into the space above Miri's head. Kazuki has been lucky enough to love a lot of things in his life, but he's never loved something quite the way he loves kissing Rei with their daughter between them. He's never loved something quite as much as he loves the delighted laugh Miri lets out as she wakes up to her dads kissing above her, the way she throws her arms around both of their necks demanding her own kisses.

And he's definitely never loved anything as much as he loves watching Rei lean in to press a kiss to Miri's cheek, Miri's eyes sparkling as she babbles about how much she loves her papas.

The world may not have been kind to either of them in the past, but they were building a new world of their own and Kazuki was certain that they could change, could break the molds that had been cast for them. With enough love and dedication, he was certain that they could turn their future into anything they wanted it to be. And the way Rei was looking back at him over Miri's head suggested that for the first time, he believed those things, too.

[currentlyinflames]

What if the first normal childhood things kazuki and rei experience are with Miri and her making them do these things.

she doesn’t know her papas didn’t have an average childhood, but some part of her knows that they’d like to do these things just as much as her.

[ultfreakme]

ATP everyone’s talked about how SxF and BD are similar or not, and I believe they’re not the same story at all. SxF’s humor comes from Loid and Yor trying desperately to hide their professions from each other and the world. This anime/manga hinges entirely on them not knowing what their significant other does. Because if they find out, it can’t be funny anymore. If they find out, they have to talk about the war, what they’re gonna do after it, what they are to each other and to Anya. They’re loyal to their organizations and bosses, Loid has to stop a war. He can’t set the world on fire that fast just for them, and it can’t be just funny anymore. 

In BD, everyone knows who’s doing what from episode 1. Rei & Kazuki are work partners, they don’t need to hide anything from each other. Miri’s also aware her dads are doing some shady, violent thing but because she’s four, she doesn’t question anything. They can betray the organization they work for and the only ones who’d suffer consequences is themselves and people they love.

Miri doesn’t need to worry about Kazuki and Rei staying together because they have no external obligation to keep her. They’re her dads simply because they want to be. Loid & Yor(well, more so Loid) have Anya at first because she’s integral to stopping a war. They see her as their daughter now but Loid didn’t look at her first like that. So the responsibility of keeping the family together falls to Anya, whereas Miri has no such pressure.

Kazuki and Rei don’t have anything to hide from each other about their lives, not in the way Loid and Yor do. So BD’s humor and plot comes primarily from the childcare aspect. Whereas for SxF it’s from the secrets, everyone has one. So just based on that foundation, the trajectories are very different. If you want just pure gag and fun with stakes, SxF is for you. If you want parenting hijinks and fluff with a queer family structure, BD is for you. I think both offer different things. I’ve seen lots of parents be into BD and finding it relatable, whereas SxF is abit more universal?

Anyways SxF and BD are both great. I have two cakes I’m not picking either or. 

[maebird-melody]

Rozemyne and Ferdinand being on the same page about their platonic marriage and still being able to move each other to tears in a non-romantic way my heart. 😭

I can’t even begin to describe how important this depiction of their relationship is to me. That there was no pull-the-rug-out-from-under-you moment where they suddenly realized they felt romantic attachment towards each other. Because I’m so used to that in fiction. The main characters insist they aren’t in love. Everyone around them just smiles and shakes their heads, insinuating that “oh, they’ll figure it out soon enough.” And then, inevitably, they realize that yes, in fact, what they feel is romantic love. But no, Ascendance of a Bookworm doesn’t do that. They love each other like family, and that kind of love is no less valid for not being romantic.

I know there are like 6 more parts to publish before the series ends, so I know this could change, but I’m gonna trust Miya Kazuki on this one. In this household we Stan and aroace power couple.

[lilyginnyblackv2]

One of the oddest “Anya is better than Miri” takes I’ve seen so far was over on Twitter, and someone said they only liked Anya because she was a child character with agency (implying that Miri doesn’t have agency).

(Going to preface this by saying that I haven’t watched Spy x Family and personally just have no desire too, so I’m not even going to focus on the Anya aspect, just the Miri stuff, since that is all I really know).

Okay, well, from a sociology standpoint, most four year old children just don’t have much agency. Here is the definition of it:

We are only going to focus on the bold part: “In social science, agency is the capacity of individuals to have the power and resources to fulfill their potential.”

What is explained above is something entirely dependent upon the parents and their job/jobs and social standings. A child has no say or influence in that really. They are still very dependent on their parents and are still just learning too much. Kids in the four year old age range may not even know right from wrong yet or, if they do, they have a very black and white and basic understanding of it (usually based around rules - like what we see with Miri in Episode 6).

But, that person was likely talking about on a literary level. The literary definition of “character agency” is:

We are only going to focus on the bold part once again, which is: “’Character agency’ in fiction is used to describe the ability a character has to take action to affect the events of the story.’” 

The comment about the lack of agency with Miri was made before Episode 5 comes out, which is when we see her personality really starting to show through, and we see the series developing her more as a fully realized character, rather than just a plot device. But even before that, we still saw Miri have agency within the series. Since lack of agency usually means that things happen to the character, rather than them actively causing something to happen. Miri has independently and actively caused a number of things to happen in Buddy Daddies. Such as:

In Episode 1, she independently and actively chooses to go into the elevator when she sees the cake...literally setting off the entire plot.

In Episode 2, she independently and actively chooses to disobey Kazuki’s words to stay in the car and go ring the doorbell to use the bathroom. This completely messes up Kazuki’s plan and causes a huge shift in the series itself, since it results in Kazuki and Rei being jobless for a bit.

In Episode 3, Miri independently and actively searches out Rei and has a fairly deep (for a four year old) discussion with him about smiling and making “pain” go away. She later has another deep (for a four year old) discussion with him, that results in him thinking about his upbringing and what it means to be a “Papa.” These discussions in turn affect Rei’s decision to be Miri’s “Papa” alongside Kazuki. Thus, once again, majorly shifting the story.

Those are just three examples, and yes, Miri’s decisions usually end up affecting Kazuki and Rei, but that’s because she is their child and they are her parents. Miri is given a personality and agency that is at a realistic level for a four year old. So this argument just makes no sense to me, unless you are expecting the same level of complexity and agency with a four year old child character as you would get with an adult, teen, or even pre-teen/older child character. Which just seems silly to me, tbqh.

[drabblesandimagines]

Kitty (part 13)

Parts 1-12 here. Rei x (afab) reader

-

You’re in Kyu’s car – the front passenger seat this time, your duffel bag in the trunk. You are a little worried you’re about to wake up though, find yourself in your bed at the refuge and it had all just been a taunting dream. You’d even pinched yourself just to make sure. You can’t help the smile on your face – so excited at the prospect of seeing them again, seeing Rei again…

“Kitty, I haven’t exactly been 100% honest, but you’ll understand why I couldn’t have been in front of Hikoti.” You’d gone up to your room to pack and say goodbye to the others whilst Hikoti and Kyu had gone over some of the finer details. Hikoti had seemed somewhat worried about this family connection coming so out of the blue, especially when Kyu said they were happy to take you in today, on New Year’s Eve. He blagged his way through. After all, he was your supposed social worker.

You look over at him. “W-what about?”

“Well, they don’t know that I was there...”

Your stomach tightens – what does that mean? Are you not going back? Was this a trick, was this a…? You force yourself to stop – a technique taught in one of the therapy sessions – catastrophizing.

“..but I am going to take you to them.” He continues, side-eyeing your expression. “A lot has happened. This was still the right choice in keeping you safe – I stand by that, and so should they - but the danger has passed and my conscience wouldn’t let me hold off any longer. It’s clear they all miss you and I know you miss them. From what Hikoti told me, it seemed they’d actually been quite beneficial to your recovery already… somehow.” He still doesn’t sound convinced.

“Y-you said all, s-s-so Miri’s with them t-too?”

He nods, his face settling into a more solemn expression. “I’m sorry to say this, but Misaki is dead.”

That catches you by surprise. “The c-c-cancer t-took her s-so soon?”

“No. Ogino did.” Kyu hesitates. “He’s… He’s the man who tried to visit you.”

You push that bit of knowledge to the back of your mind, your concern for the precious little girl far more important. “Is M-M-Miri hurt?”

“Miri’s fine – not a scratch on her. Happy to be back with her papas. I’m not sure they’ve told her about Misaki’s death yet. She didn’t witness it, thankfully – slept through the whole thing.”

If it weren’t such a somber topic, you would’ve smiled at that – Miri did sleep like a log – but you don’t really know what to say. It’s horrifying. You weren’t sure what you thought of Misaki, you’d only had the one interaction with her, really, but it was clear Miri adored her and it’s awful that she met such a horrendous end. And then this Ogino had come to the refuge… What was his plan if they’d let him in? What would he have done if they hadn’t called the police to get him to leave?

“Misaki’s murder obviously demonstrates how serious everything was.”

“Y-yes, of course. B-but…” you swallow, a little afraid of the answer. “..w-what’s changed?”

“Ogino is dead, for one.” Your body relaxes at that - that’s a relief. “Secondly, Rei and Kazuki have left the Organization for good. I’m not sure exactly how they pulled it off, but from my intel they made a clear enough statement that the Boss no longer holds an interest in them or their activities.”

You can tell he’s holding something back. “D-d-did they g-get h-hurt?”

“They were shot, yes. Kazuki in his shoulder and leg, but he’s doing really well as far as I’ve seen. Rei’s injury was… is”, he corrects, “a little more permanent.”

“H-how?”

“He shot an important nerve in his right arm – he might not be able to use it again. He did it deliberately, to make himself worthless in his father’s eyes, apparently.”

He did it to himself? You can’t imagine the pain, the desperation… “P-p-poor Rei.”

“Kazuki said he doesn’t seem particularly fussed – happy it achieved his aim. Something else has been getting him down, though.”

“W-what?”

He smirks. “You know.”

You feel the heat fill your cheeks.

--

You’re surprised when Kyu doesn’t take you to the riverside apartment, instead taking you to a café. He unlocks the front door and ushers you inside, encouraging you to take a seat at the counter as he goes round the other side, starting to make a coffee. He looks at your puzzled expression and then his watch, “Shouldn’t be much longer.”

The bell rings above the door as it swings open and the newcomer caught you off guard. Kazuki’s eyes are cast down, hands in the pockets of his long green coat as he enters.

“Hi, Kyu, what did…?” He trails off as he looks up and sees you sitting at the counter. The door closes gently behind him as he stares in disbelief. “Kitty?”

“H-hi, Zuki.” You smile, nervously. Your last interaction with Kazuki had been tense and now you know that Kyu hadn’t even involved them in his plan you’re a little wary of what his reaction is going to be.

You shouldn’t have worried. Kazuki strides over, wraps his arms around and crushes you into his chest into a hug. “I’m so sorry.” His voice is muffled into your hair as he holds you. You wrap your arms around him in return.

“It’s o-okay, I un-understand why…”

“No,” he pulls back a little, but still keeps you close. His voice is choked. “I didn’t handle that right at all. I was so intentionally cruel. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“Y-you were u-upset. Kyu t-told me w-why, it’s okay. I p-promise.”

He squeezes you tight again, almost in disbelief, before looking at the man behind the counter. “What’s going on?”

“Kitty was doing so well there, they thought it was time she thought about coming home. So, I told them I found her family.” He replies, shrugging. “Which is true, right?”

“Yes, a proper family!” Kazuki beams, but then looks down at you hesitantly. “If you can forgive me, that is. I feel so awful.”

“Zuki…” You chide, “There’s n-nothing to apologise f-for. H-honestly.”

He squeezes you tight again, releasing a shuddering breath. “Thank you.”

“Where’s Rei and Miri?” Kyu interrupts – he’d asked all three of them to come.

“He said he’d rather stay home with Miri,” Kazuki sighs, finally releasing you. “You were rather coy what this was about, Kyu, I’m sure his answer would’ve been very different if he had known who was here.”

“Is h-he okay?”

Kazuki shakes his head. “He misses you – a lot. Pining, I’d say. He’s been sleeping with that lion he got you ever since.”

You smile at that, you’d been the same with his t-shirt ever since you’d found it in your bag.

“Can I s-see him?”

“Like I’d say no! We’re staying at a different place, though. We’re having a little party tonight – I was going to grab some bits and pieces for it after whatever Kyu wanted.” Kazuki thinks for a minute. “Kyu, do you think you could drop off Kitty later this afternoon? It gives me some time to prepare and I think you’d make an excellent New Year’s Eve gift for Rei and Miri...”

--

Rei’s been silent most of the afternoon since Kazuki returned. He’d asked what Kyu had wanted. The blonde had shrugged it off as another box of Miri’s things from Misaki’s apartment. He wonders briefly why Kyu requested they come pick it up – he’s been by the house often over the past week, keeping them supplied with heavy duty painkillers, acquiring a sling for his arm, but that’s about all that can be done for it. Miri has questions, obviously, about why her papas wince sometimes. He tells Miri he had an accident, explains why Papa Kazuki helps him put the dangling limb in and out of the sling every day, why he can’t play video games with her right now, but he’s been passing on his wisdom, trying to teach her where the shortcuts are. She finally got her Morio Kart 2nd Edition.

There are still guns in the house – of course there are – but being here allows them to relax a little. Miri is excited for tonight - he’s not convinced she’ll last until midnight, but the little girl is determined to try. From what Kazuki had also brought home from the city, it seems the blonde’s plan is to keep her plied with sugary snacks. He lamented not being able to bake a cake – his shoulder won’t allow him to mix as well as he’d like at the moment. Rei wonders if you’ll be having a party tonight.

Kazuki and Rei are sat either side of the sofa, Miri’s in a party hat, sat on the floor and on the last race of the championship. Kazuki’s phone buzzes - one new text from Kyu. It takes all that’s in him not to smile as he reads it. He doesn’t want to give the game away just yet.

Gift for you to ring in the New Year. Can’t stop – dropped it at the door.

Rei gives him a questioning look as the blonde gets to his feet, sliding his phone back in his pocket. Kazuki answers before he can ask. “Text from Kyu. He’s dropped us off something. I’m just gonna go grab it – probably food or something.”

He nods and turns his attention back to the screen, watching Miri finish the lap.

“Second! Good job, Miri,” Rei compliments as the overall results come up. She’s been practicing hard with his tips and tricks. The little girl turns to beam at him, but then she lets out her patented squeal of joy instead at something behind him. He looks over his shoulder, wondering what on earth Kyu has sent to elicit that reaction from Miri when his breath catches in his throat.

It’s you. Your face is a little flush from the cold, your hands clasped in front of you and there’s a nervous smile across your face as you see him, but it’s you. Kazuki’s standing behind you, clutching his sweater over his heart, obviously trying not to cry.

Rei blinks as he gets to his feet. He’s worried you might disappear, you’re a hallucination from the painkillers, surely… Miri beats him to the punch.

“Kitty!” She squeals again, throwing her arms around your legs. “You’re back!”

“Hi, M-Miri,” you bend down so you can properly embrace the little girl. You’d missed her so much, glad for her enthusiasm and warm welcome in that moment.

“Are you feeling better?”

You nod. “L-lots better.”

“Good! And you won’t leave again, right?” She tilts her head, questioningly. “Papa Rei’s been so gloomy!”

You look up to Rei at that point – he still looks stunned. “Well, w-we can’t have a g-gloomy Papa Rei.”

Miri bounces on her heels. “But you’re staying?”

“She sure is, Miri,” Kazuki ruffles her hair before crouching down. “Say, I think Papa Rei has some things he’d like to talk to Kitty about – boring grown-up talk. How about you and I make some cookies to add to the spread for later, hm?”

“Yay!” Miri yells, tugging at his sleeve in excitement. She’s been wanting to bake all week but Kazuki had to keep putting it off because of his shoulder. He’s happy to be a little stiff in the morning to give Rei this moment though.

“You can thank me later, Rei…” Kazuki calls in a sing-song tone of voice as he and Miri leave the room, leaving the two of you alone.

Rei still hasn’t said anything, he’s just staring at you in disbelief and you’re feeling a little nervous. It’s silly how much you’ve dreamt of this moment, thought of what you’d say when seeing his face again, but now your mind is blank of anything.

“H-h-hi.” Start off simple. Even though Kyu and Kazuki had warned you of Rei’s injury, it hurts to see the limb strapped up in an immobilizing sling, holding it in place against his chest. You can’t even begin to imagine the pain he’s gone through.

You swallow. “Are y-you okay?” You regret it as soon as you say it – of course he’s not okay. “I m-mean…”

“I’m sorry.” Rei steps forward, closing the distance between the two of you at last. You think he’s going to wrap you into a hug but he drops to his knees, bowing his head so low his forehead is touching the ground. “I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me.”

“No, n-no,” you kneel down in front of him, your stomach sinking as you understand his intention. You place your hand on his shoulder, “Get up, please.” You’ve seen this act before – whenever the men at the house had disappointed him they often begged for forgiveness in the very same position. He’d loved every second of it, cackling as they mumbled apologies into the floor, deciding what their punishment might be. “S-sit up, Rei.” The demand feels a little foreign coming out of your mouth, but it works. He pushes himself back up onto his knees but keeps his head cast down. “Can you ever forgive me?”

You reach your left hand forward, placing it gently on the side of his face and tilt it up with the heel of your hand, hoping that’ll he meet your gaze. He has tears in his eyes – you can tell he’s trying his best to hold them in – keeping his eyes cast to the side. “There’s n-nothing to forgive. P-please don’t cry over me.”

“The last thing I ever wanted to do is hurt you, Kitty, I swear it.”

 “Rei,” you lean forward, placing your right hand on his face too so he finally meets your eyes. You want him to see you’re sincere. “It’s a-all right. I understand.”

“No,” he lifts up his left hand and pulls down your right hand in a light grip down onto his lap, squeezing it desperately. “I promised you that you could trust me. I just… I couldn’t see another way out. My father, he…”

“Kyu ex-explained everything. I k-know you just w-wanted to protect me, protect all of us.” You interrupt. “Please, l-let’s get off the floor, o-okay?” You remove your left hand from his face to get up, but his hold on your right hand remains firm as he continues to explain.

“I thought if I cut my ties, you’d all be safe. That I could go back to the life I had before, not feeling or caring… but I failed. I’ve missed you so much.” His voice breaks as he says it, a tear rolling down his cheek. You can’t stand to see him hurting so much. You wrap your left arm around him, trying to coerce him into an embrace. He lets go of your hand and wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you in close to his chest. He smells so much better than you remembered – the scent of him had become faded on the t-shirt that you’d cuddled with those weeks apart - and his touch makes your heart beat faster. He leans his head on top of yours, savouring the feeling of having you in his arms again.

“I missed you t-too,” your face is pressed into his chest and you can feel his heart thudding. “But I understand w-why you did it. I’m n-not upset or mad, I p-promise.” You mumble.

“I will spend every minute of every day trying to make it up to you.”

“No,” you pull back slightly. “T-the only person who needs to f-forgive you is y-yourself. You were k-keeping me and Miri safe. Please.”

He stares at you for a moment, scrutinizing your face. “Was it awful?”

“No, it w-was helpful, actually. T-they were all r-really nice. It was good for me…” you smile, shyly, before continuing, “But you’re even b-better. You make me feel whole, Rei.”

 “I’ll never let you go again, as long as you’ll have me.”

You bury your head back into his chest again for a moment, savouring his touch. “Come on, l-let’s get off the f-floor.”

He nods, though he seems reluctant to let go of you altogether. Your limbs are untangled for just a moment as the two of you get to your feet before his arm is wrapped around your waist again.

“I don’t want to waste another second if I can help it, Kitty, but I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, so…” his cheeks flush slightly red as he meets your eyes, “may I kiss you?”

“Please.”

He leans forward and presses his lips against yours ever so gently, as if you might break at his touch. It’s a little clumsy, the both of you nervous, but perfect all at the same time. It starts off slow, the two of you trying to feel each out a little as he pulls back slightly before kissing you again. Your head is tingling with each of his soft kisses and you’re not sure when it happened, but your right hand is flat against his chest, your left hand tangled in his hair, trying to deepen the kiss. His tongue brushes up against your lips, parting them open a little more…

“Hey!” Your heart stops at Miri’s indignant shout and you pull apart, though Rei’s arm remains firmly around your waist as the two of you look towards the door. You can feel the heat in your face and your breath is caught in your throat, so you can’t imagine how you look. Miri has her hands on her hips and a pout on her face as Kazuki stands behind her, snickering. “Papa Kazuki said you kiss at midnight!”

“Well,” Rei smiles as he looks at you, adoration in his eyes, “we were practicing.”

--

Epilogue

Lips pressed gently against your forehead wake you up. “Mm.” You mumble, happily, feeling refreshed for once. Rei’s hair is loose, hanging down around his face as he leans over you.

“Morning,” he smiles back and leans down. “I love you,” he says, quietly, before kissing your lips. When he pulls away, he looks down at the cot at the end of your shared bed. “Somebody slept through the whole night.”

“Hm. She knows it’s an important day.”

Rei had been terrified as soon as you found out you were pregnant. It had been a surprise to the both of you. Your relationship had continued to develop slow and steady over the past ten years, each trying to heal through your own trauma. You’d slowly began to become more and more intimate over the years and though your period had returned, it was sporadic, never quite settling into a regular pattern. It was only after you’d thrown up four times in an hour one morning from the aroma of dishes they were cooking at the diner that Kazuki had gone out and came back with a box of pregnancy tests, sending you off to the bathroom.

Rei would never say it aloud, but it was clear he was worried what it would mean if the two of you were to have a boy. He still had nightmares about his own upbringing and his father, and though you had all moved away from the Organization and hadn’t heard anything in the last nine years, it still lurked at the back of their minds. Nightmares of his father coming to reclaim a Suwa heir – not that he’d let him get 100 yards within his family ever again. You’d gone for a scan to find out the sex as soon as you could, and he couldn’t hide his relief when the technician said it would be a little girl. You weren’t sure who was then more excited at the news, really – Kazuki, Miri or Rei.

“Miri, time to go!” You hear Kazuki call.

“Coming!” The teenager shouts back, before there’s the loud thumps of her descending the stairs.

“Well, Aiko,” you smile at the little girl, bashing some blocks together on the ground whilst you got ready for the day. After tying Rei’s hair up in a ponytail, he’d headed downstairs to start breakfast for Miri and help Kazuki prepare for the breakfast rush a little later on. “We better go and say goodbye to big sister, hm?” Aiko turned one last month and is an absolute joy. The happiest baby, full of smiles and a playful personality, a sweet face and her father’s black hair. You pick her up in your arms and carry her carefully down the stairs as she babbles away, walking into the tail-end of the conversation where Kazuki is…crying? Typical.

“I know you snuck out early yesterday to drink with the ladies,” Miri taunts.

You look over at Rei behind the counter, hoping for clarification but he offers back a half-shrug.

Miri spots the two of you and smiles. “Plus, Papa Kazuki, you still need to worry about Aiko here. She’s got a few years catching up to do on me.”

“I hadn’t even thought of that…!”

“Aiko, look,” you interrupt, trying to defuse whatever it is you’ve walked into, “Miri’s all ready for her first day of high school. Doesn’t she look so grown up?”

“Come here, baby sis!” Miri holds her arms out for a cuddle, but Aiko is already holding her hands out for someone else, squealing when she sees the object of her desire.

“Oh, she wants to see her Uncle Zuki, don’t you, sweetie?” The blonde takes her into his arms, bouncing her up and down, gently.

Miri frowns, placing her hands on her hips at her little sister’s betrayal.

“It’s the goatee.” You reassure the teenager.

“No, she just loves her Uncle Z… Ouch!” He winces, as her little hand grabs at his chin and tugs, forcefully.

“More she loves grabbing.” Miri laughs.

“She has her father’s strength.” Rei chimes in as he places a plate down on the counter with his specialty dish. “Come on, Miri, you need to eat anyway.”

“It’s great you have a special and all, man,” Kazuki walks around the counter with Aiko, wincing as her little hand is still entangled in his goatee, “but don’t you wanna expand the repertoire a bit?”

“Why?”

“You really are a one-trick pony.” Kazuki sighs. Aiko is reaching out for Rei now with one arm, her other still gripping onto Kazuki’s chin. Rei had been so scared to hold her at first, terrified of dropping her so much so that he’d only ever hold her if he was sitting or lying down. His arm was obviously irreparable – the way he had intended it to be to protect his family - and he’d gained back only a little strength and grip in it over the past ten years, but his confidence had developed and he always managed to wrangle her in place. After a little tussle, Aiko finally releases the blonde’s facial hair to settle in her father’s arms. Rei places a kiss on your daughter’s forehead and it makes your heart swell seeing the two of them together.

“It doesn’t matter, it’s great!” Miri squeals, the same way as she did when you first met her after taking a bite.

“I have to agree with them, Zuki. Everyone raves about it.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Miri drops her fork and runs towards the door.

“Little early for school, isn’t it?” Kazuki sounds puzzled.

“Follow me, please!”

Rei passes you Aiko as he follows Kazuki out behind the counter, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he does so. He still makes you blush after all these years. He slips an arm around your waist as you walk out the front of the diner and see Miri fiddling with her beloved selfie stick.

You stand in front of Rei, as usual, Miri in the middle and Kazuki to the side. Miri frowns at the image before looking at Rei and Kazuki. “Come on, we’re family, aren’t we?” Miri chastises. “Get closer, you two.”

“Huh?” Rei looks down at you but Kazuki clocks what Miri means.

“Oh, come here, you big lug!” The blonde loops an arm around Rei’s neck, bringing him in close. You’re standing in the middle of the two men now, holding Aiko tightly in front of you, Rei’s hand on the small of your back and Miri’s to the side.

“What’s a mouse’s favourite snack?”

“Kitty!” The camera clicks – the photo showing you, Rei, Kazuki and Miri all looking in surprise at Aiko and her first word.

--

Thought it was fitting to end this on part 13 as I think we all thought we were getting 13 episodes! Thank you so much for everyone's support during this series - I think this ended up being nearly 45,000 words! I'm open to dipping back into Rei and Kitty's relationship (I know a lot's happened to them between the end and the epilogue) so let me know if there's anything you'd particularly like me to write about <3 Thank you again for all the comments, reblogs and follows! Love Ghostdog x

[ecargmura]

Wind Breaker Episode 11 Review - New Day, New Classmates

I’m a little confused. Tsugeura’s little motto revolves around the word “virtue”. In the manga, it’s virtue. The subtitles call it virtue as well, but I’ve seen some subs use “aesthetics.” What is the accurate word? A moot on Twitter says that the accurate word should be “aesthetics”. Virtue means a behavior showing high moral standards while aesthetics means a particular theory or connection to beauty or art. My moot told me that the word Tsugeura uses is actually more associated with aesthetic rather than virtue. I don’t know…. For now, I’ll just call it virtue since that’s what the subtitles say, but if they switch it to aesthetics or something, I’ll use that.

Anyways, it’s a new day, the fourth to be exact, and Sakura meets two new classmates. The first is Taiga Tsugeura who likes to talk about virtue, is a gym bro, and is an all around himbo. He speaks in Kansai dialect, by the way. While he’s a nice guy, he lacks personal boundaries, which is why everyone avoids him. Sugishita’s face says it all. Fortunately, Sakura, Suo and Nirei are nice enough to hang out with him after school. Tsugeura is a macho guy, but he’s surprisingly goofy and sensitive. While he doesn’t get along with Kiryu, he doesn’t let that bother him. He’s very funny, honestly. I think he brings a good dynamic to the group as the optimist in a way. His fighting style centers around wrestling with the way he did a German suplex to one of those scrubs.

Tsugeura’s voice actor actually surprised me. He’s voiced by Kengo Kawanishi. You might know him as Muichiro from Demon Slayer and Roland Fortis from The Case Study of Vanitas. Why I was surprised was because I normally associated with him quiet pretty boys, but remembering that he voiced Roland, he has the capability to go loud and dumb too. Also, another thing that surprised me about him was that Kawanishi always sounded like he could be Akira Ishida’s successor in terms of range and tone, but the voice he uses for Tsugeura makes him sound like Noriaki Sugiyama who you might know as the voice of Sasuke Uchiha from Naruto and also voiced Muichiro’s dad who appeared in the third season of Demon Slayer. Kawanishi’s range is seriously killer.

The second of the new classmates is Mitsuki Kiryu. He’s rumored to be from a rich family with the way he went to a rich kid’s school during junior high. His past sounds very interesting if he chose to rebel and went to Fuurin; I’m super curious as much as I am curious about Suo’s past. Kiryu is practically the total opposite of Tsugeura in every way. He respects people’s boundaries, especially girls’, but is rather effeminate compared to the macho himbo Tsuge-chan. He’s also a huge phone addict as he was first seen in episode 2 playing with his phone. I do wonder if he has a hamburger case alongside the hotdog case. His fighting style sort of reminds me of the Gentle Fist style from Naruto, especially with the way it focuses on deflecting as Kiryu deflects his opponents and sends them flying to his allies.

Kiryu’s voice actor is Toshiyuki Toyonaga. It’s been a while since I last heard Toyonaga voice a rather effeminate character. I actually really like his acting a lot! He has so much range that his voice is so hard to detect because he sounds so different in whatever anime he’s in. If you’re curious on what roles he had done in the past, some examples include Yuuri Katsuki from Yuri on Ice, Kazuki Kurusu from Buddy Daddies and Nayuta Yatonokami from Paradox Live. All three of those roles sound different, yet they come from the same person. Amazing, isn't it? I love how Toyonaga gives Kiryu a boyish voice; that tone is so cute.

The fighting scene in the anime was well-animated! All three have such distinct styles, but it meshes so well together. Heck, even Suo gets to be a part of the fight, despite him being at the back protecting Nirei and the girl Kiryu saved and only fighting when mooks try to run towards the back. I really like the part where Sakura is flipping around after Tsugeura throws in a punch and then Kiryu deflects a guy towards him.

The episode is also has some development towards Sakura as he gets new fighting allies in Tsugeura and Kiryu and even gets five new contacts in his phone. He’s the most chronically offline teenager, and he’s even slowly adjusting to the teen life by attempting to participate in group chats and stuff. I hope that Sakura becomes an expert at instant messaging by the time the story ends.

The episode ends with the second years coming to Sakura’s class in order to pick a Group Captain. What is a group captain? It’s like a top of the class or something. Suo volunteers Sakura to be captain. What happens next will be shown next week. However, the second years showing up is great because Enomoto is hilarious with the way he rolls his R’s. Can you believe that he’s voiced by Taishi Murata, who voices Pieyon from Oshi no Ko? Crazy, right? That’s the third voice actor with crazy range in this episode. Also, this is the introduction to Kaji but I’ll talk more about him next week as he’ll finally talk. I can’t wait to see people’s reaction to Kaji. He’s such a great character.

There are two more episodes left. With how popular this show is in the Japanese fanbase, I wouldn’t be surprised if a second season will be announced; I certainly want it. What are your thoughts on this episode and are you also wanting a season two like I am?

[everythingblreview]

Gakuen Heaven Review

Gakuen Heaven is a very iconic BL game from the early 2000s, it received a Fandisk, an anime and a second game with a new MC and new love interest after 10 years of the main game’s release. This time I played the game together with my friends and we decided to play the PSP version with an emulator, because the PC version is not voiced. The PSP version has no H-scenes (they are just hinting at it) but I was willing to scarify that for the voice acting, it made a big difference so no regrets there. (Only the quality was a bit 360p in the PSP version lol)

Spoiler for the whole game below

Description

Ito Keita, an average high school boy, is surprised to receive an acceptance letter from the renowned Bell Liberty Academy, BL school for short (yes this is what they call the school lmoa, the joke never get old). After being involved in an accident, on the day of his transfer, Keita finds himself among a variety of unique people... but what is Keita's "special ability"? Will he truly be accepted into this school full of elite students?

Story

If you have watched the anime, you pretty much know what happens in this game. Keita gets accepted to BL school after the school year has already started. He arrives after his bus flies off the bridge, completely unharmed because if there is one thing Keita is good at, it’s being lucky. There he meets the king (the student council president) and the queen (the head of the school accounting department and a beauty) and after it all the other characters, his classmate Kazuki (who is overly too friendly with him), Nakajima the (vice president of student council and basically the king’s mother/wife), Omi (also working for the accounting department and the childhood friend of the queen), Shinomiya (a pro at Kyudo), Shunsuke (a boy from Osaka who is good at riding his bike and loves food), Iwai (a depressed artist), Naruse (the school’s playboy and an amazing tennis player) and Umino-sensei (who teaches biology and looks illegally young). Yes, this game has 10 love interest. In the following weeks Keita gets to hang out and to know all of these people. And that’s basically the common route of the game, it may sound boring, but the characters interactions are really fun and entertaining. Everyone has a distinct personally (even if some of the have very stereotypical one). The games plot mostly revolves around the characters and MC, so if you expect some kind of exiting adventure, you’re at the wrong place. The characters route begin around the 3rd week, when Keita gets suddenly called by the vice director and is told he has to leave school, because his admission to BL school was a mistake, so the board of directors decided to kick him out since he no special talent and therefore doesn’t belong in the school. Keita is of course very sad about it since he started to like the school and its students. So, he seeks for advice from the other character, who tell him to go directly to the director of the school. Keita tries that but the director of the school is a mystery; no one know how he looks like or where you can find him (dude is never in his office). Frustrated Keita speaks with Kazuki who tells him that he could just write a mail to the director, which he does. In the mail he states that he wants to stay at the school and ask if the director could help him with his situation. Well, as it seems the director listened to him, because the next day all students get called for a gathering, where a stuff bear (yes you read that right) who is a substitute for the mysterious director, announces a MVP battle where all students can participate in and the winner will have a wish granted by the director. The battle has 3 rounds, and you have to play in pairs. If you watched the anime, I can already tell you the battles are a bit different in the game. In the first round you have to catch in a mini game hamster (yeah idk). You can either do it by yourself, let your partner do it or do it together (and my god some of these guys suck ass at this game). In the second route you have to do a quiz on the subjects of your choice (usually the one related to your LI) and let me tell you these quizzes are hard af. First of all, they are all in Japanese and second, if you think these are some simple questions like ‘what is 2+2’ you’re greatly mistaken. They ask you really hard question about Japanese history and literature and biology and what not. Once again you can let your partner answer but some if these dudes are idiots and can answer wrong. But if you survive this round, the last round is super easy, since it’s all about Keita’s strongest subject: luck. You just have to choose between two cards, and no matter which you choose you won’t lose. During the MVP battle you basically play your partners (the LI of your choice) route. The content of them all depends on the LI you choose.

I also need to mention that if you watched the anime, the part where the school nurse goes crazy and kidnaps Keita is completely made up by the anime, while the part with his friend being in coma is true, the other part after it was created for drama purposes, I guess? But he did tell Keita about his friend and Keita tried to help him together with Kazuki, so yeah there is that.

Characters

Naruse Yukihiko

Naruse is the first character who’s route we accidently ended up on (wasn’t our first choice but we didn’t want to redo it). Like said Naruse is the playboy of the school, he is also called a “playboy” by the other characters. Beside that he is also an excellent tennis player and the captain of the tennis club. He falls in love with Keita on first sight and kisses him on the first day lmao (or not if you make the right choices). Keita is, of course shocked why another guy just kissed him, and this starts the never-ending circle of “but we are both men”. You see, Keita has a terrible case of internal homophobia (or he just never heard of being gay). Naruse, with his extreme bisexual energy, has no problem and doesn’t care if anyone knows he like Keita (pretty sure the whole school knew after 2 days). He always tells Keita that he loves him and calls him “honey” as a nickname, with Keita always countering it with “but we’re both men” … Naruse tries pretty hard to convey his love, he makes bento for Keita, kisses him constantly (Keita was even into it at some point) always tells him he likes him and also explains why he like Keita. He also mentions that he doesn’t care that Keita is a guy and he takes him on dates to romantic place and yet KEITA ALWAYS ANSWERS WITH “BUT WE’RE BOTH MEN” AAAAHHH- *smashes head against wall* Despite my dislike toward the playboy type I can say Naruse was really nice and voiced by Miki Shinichiro of course, cough sexy voice cough I am biased cough and trying so, so hard and yet Keita never took his love seriously, it’s not like he had to like Naruse back but Keita just never took Naruse seriously. Naruse was a really good boy though, he never went against Keita’s wishes, never took advantage of him and always told Keita he would never touch Keita (in the indecent way) if Keita didn’t want it himself. Man is the biggest green flag, seriously. The route was basically just Naruse trying to woo Keita and Keita rejecting him with “gay is not real”, only in the fucking end Keita realised that Naruse maybe really was serious……. *smashes head against the wall again* and also realises that he is in love with Naruse too so he run to Naruse’s training and screams that he loves Naruse too with the whole club listening (and I’m sure no one gives a shit at a school called “BL school”) . Naruse is overjoyed and picks Keita up and carried him to him room for some sexy times (not shown in the PSP version but me and my friend peaked into the PC game and they only showed the foreplay and skipped the actual sex lol) I’m honestly glad we played Naruse first because his route is my (and all of my friends who joined for his route) personal frustration with Keita as a character. I really love Keita but damn his internal homophobia was so bad in this route that we all we’re just screaming at the screen at some point. Naruse himself was really nice, still not my type but I understand his charm (And I wish they would stop giving Miki Shinichirou the playboy role because his voice is hot, but I just don’t like this stupid character trope). Also, I feel like compared to the anime he was less annoying and just overall better, and I feel like if Keita wasn’t so anti-gay, Naruse would have been even more enjoyable.

Umino Satoshi

Although Umino is 24 years old, he looks like is 12. Even Keita mistook him for an elementary student (Can’t blame him). He also has a really fat cat called Tonosama who always looks like high af. Umino sensei is not only a biology teacher, who is quite popular with the students, but also works as a researcher for the Suzubishi group, that this school belongs to, and that’s what most of his route is about. Keita gets interested into Umino’s research and ask to help him, even if he doesn’t understand what Umino is talking about. Honest his route was boring since it mostly consists of research talk (not a very good topic for a bl game in my opinion) and I found myself zooming out for most of the time. (Nothing against biology but after a hard day of work I imagine something more fun than watching 2D characters talk about cells) The real “fun” of this route is when one day Umino’s research data get stolen. Keita is shocked but Umino tells him that it always happens and that he doesn’t care because he isn’t looking for fame and just want to be helpful. And this is the part that really pissed me off in this route, Keita was really pissed at his attitude, but for this route good end you needed to make choices that immediately throws Keita’s anger out of the window. Once this topic comes up again, Keita gets mad, then you have to make a choice and suddenly Keita is all chill again and always answers with “That’s so you, Umino sensei” Like what???” The “climax” of the route is when Keita walks into the room of Umino after one of the MVP battles and sees that another teacher hat tied him down. He was the one who stole the research data and is now trying to get the password out of him. Keita tries his best to convince Umino not to tell the guy, but he ends up doing it anyway after being beaten (and I think even raped in the PC version). So, the dude escapes and you know what Keita and Umino do? N O T H I N G absolutely NOTHING. Not tell the police or the director or anything at all, like wtf??? After removing Keita’s anger, we also removed all his common sense or what? This made me so pissed because Keita normally doesn’t take anyone’s shit but here he doesn’t even try and say “that’s so you Umino sensei” What was the writer ever thinking? Anyway the route ends with the dude never actually getting the data because he understand the password wrong and Keita being so happy over it that he kisses Umino, who is also like “Oh yeah I totally like you, too”. Strange is that they don’t even mention anything about the student-teacher relationship at all, like it’s totally normal. Can’t even decide who needs to be jailed here, Umino for dating a student or Keita for dating someone who looks like 12. Oh and Keita also tops (didn’t mention yet but Keita can be top/bottom depending on his partner) and they constantly fuck in the biology room…..Umino-sensei himself was annoying, I don’t like the “hehe I’m so cute and clumsy”- type, they make me mad for some reason, and him being weak and just getting stepped on didn’t help either.

Nakajima Hideaki

Nakajima is the classic Megane, and not only that he is a Spray Megane (Spray are the one who made Kichiku Megane who I was totally fan of not). He is always mothering the king who is busy being lazy. Outside his route, his interactions are really fun because he is not taking anyone’s shit (especially the king’s). He is very smart, responsible and mostly how you imagine a Megane to be (except that he doesn’t speak polite). Nakajima’s route start with classic sexual harassment, which Keita really doesn’t take well and gets so upset about, that he doesn’t want to see Nakajima for a while (understandable, poor baby) but you have to interact with him, the game forces you to do it. Keita then starts spending time with Nakajima and is actually surprised to learn that Nakajima is actually a pretty nice guy, who even takes Keita out on dates (to an BDMS show lmao, sadly not show in neither version of the game, but Keita seemed to have liked it in some way). He also willing to help Keita with the MVP battle. During it another sexual harassment scene happened, which again upsets Keita. After the MVP battle, Keita is called by 3 guys who are mad at him because he stopped their confrontation with Nakajima, and he gets beaten up by them. Then Nakajima arrives kicks their asses and save Keita. After it is the whole confession scene, with Nakajima telling Keita that he does like him and viva versa.

And now let’s get to my commentary of this route. First, I like to say that I HATE the writer for this route (so does my friend who played with me) and not for the reason you think. I hate the writer because Nakajima’s route was actually good, but they had to ruin it through unnecessary sexual harassment, which ended up feeling completely ooc in the end. Yes, Nakajima is clearly a sadist and loves to tease Keita, but he was genius nice and helpful to Keita 95% of the route, only these random ass scenes mad the route really bitter. The worst part is that Nakajima explained in the end that he first sexual harassed Keita because he wanted Keita to be interested in him (worst excuse ever writer-san) since it turns out the director actually asked him to be basically Keita’s bodyguard. Man is out there working his ass off protecting Keita and writer though “hmm needs more sexual abuse” AJDAKKAJD I’m seriously so mad. “How to mess up a good route 101”. Keita and Nakajima had more than enough time to develop a good relationship and they did. But noooo need more sexual harassment *spits on writer*. The second scenes felt even more ooc because this was already far into the route where Keita already start liking Nakajima and was thanking him for helping him with the MVP battle and out of nowhere Nakajima pushed him in a closet and told him, how Keita seriously thinks he doesn’t need to repay the favour for helping him with the MVP battle and sexually harasses him right there.(Not shown in the PSP version but I saw what you did with the pencil Nakajima) It was just so stupid and out of nowhere. Later he tells Keita that he pushed him into the closet because the three guys, who later beat him up were looking for him and, okay that’s a decent reason, BUT NOT A VALID REASON FOR SEXUAL HARRASEMNT, WRITER *spits on them again*. Worst part is that Keita noticed his love for Nakajima not by getting reminded of all the good times they spent together, nooo he needed to think back to the sexual harassment. Ugh, I know I shouldn’t get mad over a 2002 game but this a serious problem that still happens in modern game, where the writers think forcing random sex/sexual assault is a good idea, which just ends up ruining the character and the route. And I don’t care, twitter kiddies can cry, scream and call my all names in the universe, but I’ll still say it again: Forced sexual scenes only ruin the character and story and I want them gone from BL games.

Despite my deeply rooted anger, if I close my eyes and pretend those scenes never happened, I can say that I enjoyed the route and Nakajima more than I thought even if he was sadist he was really kind to Keita and their relationship development felt more or less natural. I just go and continue to curse the writer.

Kazuki Endo

If you have watched the anime, you know pretty much all of Kazuki’s route because his route was the one that was animated. His route is or can be considered the “true route”, but personally I don’t consider it to be. Kazuki is the first-person Keita makes friends with since they are classmates. Kazuki is a rather friendly person who sticks a little too close to Keita and always follows him everywhere, which I thought was annoying. Personally, I’m not a fan of Kazuki, he is just not my type of character, and I thought the romance development wasn’t done that well in his route (you can guess why). You have to play Kazuki’s route two times; the first time you’ll only get the normal end and the second time you get the happy end. Most of his normal route consisted of Kazuki hanging around with Keita, him fighting with Naruse over Keita (with Naruse beating his ass with sass) and going on a date with Keita (they had no chemistry at all, and I felt like they were talking past each other). Only in the end we (or rather Keita) learn Kazuki’s true intentions after he kisses Keita on the cheek. Keita is so shocked to learn that Kazuki was actually trying to woo Keita all this time, just like Naruse (Keita actually thought about the possibility before when Kazuki and Naruse had their sass fight but had thrown the idea to the side after his internal homophobia striking again). And this is basically where the route ends. The second time you play the route there will be more scenes with them together as well as Keita starting to have some déjà vu’s and dreams of his past. Well, turns out Kazuki is the classic childhood friend character (*sarcastic* wuhu) and that Keita used to play with Kazuki when he was a small child, but later Kazuki had to move away, which saddened Keita so Kazuki promising that they would go to school together one day. Keita suspects that Kazuki is the oniichan he used to play with but isn’t fully sure. After MVP battel, Keita is invites to the director’s office to make his wish, Kazuki is nowhere to be found so Keita goes alone. Well, turns out Kazuki has been the fucking director all along lmaooo and he invited Keita to the school so he could fulfil his promise to go to the same school together and to live his gay dream (even Keita thinks that this is a bit ridiculous). Keita is so shocked that the poor guy can’t even get a full sentence out. Because not only has Kazuki has told him that he is the director but also his oniichan from the past. Also, btw Kazuki is actually older (even if we have never found his age and he was just pretending to be a student.) Anyway, after a bit of talk, Kazuki confesses and Keita decides he is gay as hell suddenly and they confess to each other like 7 times (seriously the confession took way too long), before finally kissing and fuck right there in the director’s office in the PC version and that’s basically the whole route. The romance was rather meh, since there wasn’t a moment Keita actually realised his feeling himself which he did in most of the route. Also, I have question why Kazuki has the hots for Keita, who he only met when Keita was like 5 years old or something. But despites few complains the route was enjoyable to play, it had many funny scenes and Keita’s reaction to director Kazuki was hilarious. I have to say that despite me not being into Kazuki I though he was a great director, really cared about the students and let them have their own freedom. Also, Idk how this man can be a student + director + the research lab chef AND still have time to be a part in the handicraft club (granny hobby) while stalking Keita. Does he even sleep? We will never know. Compared to the anime the games doesn’t tell you that Kazuki is the director until he reveals it himself or until you recognise his voice in another route lol, it’s sad that they revealed it so fast in the anime since its just a big secret in the game.

Iwai Takuto

Iwai’s route had the most induvial plot of the game. The route starts with Keita seeing him burn his painting after meeting Iwai at the artist club. And the next day he walks in on Iwai trying to kill himself by cutting his wrist (like wtf). Luckily the cut is small and no danger to his life. Shinomiya who is friends with Iwai takes care of him while he heals (Keita is also there to help) and there we find out from Shinomiya that this wasn’t the first time Iwai did this (jesus) and then he starts to victim blame Iwai (I will come back to this bitch Shinomiya later). So, Keita being the good boy he is decided to help Iwai and find out why he is so depressed (enough to try to kill himself several times??). Well, turns out it has to do with Iwai’s family, who is just garbage. Iwai’s mother is the mistress of some famous artist who taught Iwai how to paint, but Iwai got really good at oil painting, so his trash father just took credit for Iwai paintings himself and got a bunch of praise and prices for it. But not only that it gets worse, his mother is a total hoe who forces Iwai to make more paintings because if not Iwai’s father will leave her and go back to his other family. This whole situation really sits on Iwai because he doesn’t want to create more oil painting for his shitty father, but he genuinely loves to paint. He was even once rejected from a competition for “copying” the art of his garbage dad. Also, the reason he burned the paintings in the beginning was because his mother was visiting him, and he didn’t want to hand her anymore of his. Keita as a character shines the strongest in the route because he isn’t having any of this shit and tries his best for Iwai to confront his family, even if Iwai is always trying to give up. Luckily an art gallery guy noticed that Iwai’s father paintings are actually Iwai’s and ask him for cooperation to reveal the whole thing to the public, Iwai first rejects it but with Keita’s positive influence he finally accepts it. The development of their relationship was also good, though it mostly consisted of Keita (friendly) kicking Iwai’s ass to stop being a puppet for his shitty family (we love that). Also, Iwai made a painting of Keita, which he later used as the main theme for his exhibition, after the whole situation was revealed and he finally got the praise he deserved.

He also confessed first to Keita by kissing him, but good thing is that the gay in Keita has already started to bloom, so he doesn’t think much about the fact that they are both men and happily gets laid. Generally speaking, Iwai had the best route story-wise, and Keita showed the strongest part of his characters here, despites that I can say Iwai is just not my type, I can appreciate the route by I don’t really have any interest in Iwai or the pairing.

Shinomiya Kouji

Shinomiya’s route was the second one we played, and after no homo Naruse’s air it felt like a breath of fresh air. Because this time Keita is the one who is falling first for the LI. His route is a bit different from others in that way that he agrees to be Keita’s MVP battle partner only for to fulfil his own dream. Which is to save his little brother, who has heart problems and can’t get a heart transplant immediately because in Japan you need to be older to get one. And since Suzubishi also has a medical research department he knows they can help him. Keita agrees to help him even if it means that he won’t be able to stay at the school. Along the way Keita falls for Shinomiya and can’t hide his feeling anymore, so he confesses to Shinomiya and Shinomiya is like “souka” (“I see”) like bitch what kind of answer is that???? The scene just ends without him actually saying anything back lmaooo. Later Keita confesses again and to get his feelings across he kisses Shinomiya (hell yeah Keita lets go full gay, Naruse probably crying in the background, wishing he had gotten this treatment.) and Shinomiya kisses him back, so they are happy clappy gay together now. Which also starts a long back and forth between “I want you to stay at the school so we can be together” and “I want to save your little brother” but at some point, they agree that saving Shinomiya’s brother is more important than dick battles. So after Keita wins the MVP battle they go to the director office, where they of course don’t meet the director because Kazuki is hiding but they can talk to him through speakers (I seriously want to know how Keita doesn’t recognize Kazuki’s voice) but they tell him that their wish is for Shinomiya’s brother to get the medical treatment he needs and director Kazuki tells them that he will make their wish come true, but also because Kazuki’s gay ass he let Keita stay in school. So, they get both the things they wanted, happy end~ And now let’s get to the part where I drag Shinomiya through dirt because he is a victim shaming asshole. I have to say he is already flat, but the fact that he wants to be a doctor is even funnier because I hate the doctor characters who have like no other personality than being a doctor (I talked about this in another review before) Anyway the part where he shames Iwai for trying to commit fucking suicide made me really dislike him. If there is one thing that gets my blood really boiling, its people who blame victims for their situation instead of helping them doesn’t that remind you of another doctor character who victim blamed the MC for his situation? Yeah, congrats Shinomiya now get your ugly ass out of my face.

Continued in Part 2

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request Rei Suwa with a baker reader?

Rei Suwa + Baker reader

Rei never dreamt. When he went to bed in his bathtub, and shut his eyes, that was it. His mind never wandered. He never suddenly found himself in a field or surrounded by pink elephants & unicorns. He just slept.

So when he suddenly smelled the scent of muffins, he knew it couldn’t be a dream and immediately got up.

“What are you doing?”

“Ssssh!” [Y/N] hissed with their finger to their mouth. “You’ll wake Miri.”

Rei gave a grunt, then a big yawn, before running his fingers through the hopeless mop of hair and sat at the kitchen counter. He doesn’t even bother to ask what they’re doing in his house at 4:00 in the morning, or how they got in here. In their lines of work it was sometimes best not to ask. “She won’t wake up.”

“You never know.” They replied. Pulling out a fresh batch of muffins. “Miri asked for them. We were watching anime and there was this bakery with big fluffy muffins in the window. She said she’d never had them before and wanted to try them. I thought I’d surprise her for breakfast. And give Kazuki a break.”

Rei grunted again. He vaguely remembers this conversation. “I’ve never had a muffin either.” He realized out loud.

[Y/N] stopped what they were doing and looked at him for a moment, before they smiled. “You want one? You can be my official taste tester.” They gave him a wink, which made Rei slump his shoulders further and his stomach feel a little funny.

“I made cinnamon sugar, lemon poppy seed, chocolate chip, and of course blueberry.”

“Why did you make so many?” He asked, looking over each plate of muffins as they pointed out the flavors.

“Yeah, I guess I went a little overboard.” [Y/N] agreed with a nervous laugh. “But, I wanted to make sure Miri got a flavor she liked. I realized I never asked her what see wanted. Which I guess is a little selfish. I just barreled ahead because I liked baking, and that this was something I could give her.”

Rei listened and could sympathize with that. He tired, he really did; even if no one believed him. But he doesn’t know what kids like or want, or how they act, because he was never one. It was why he encouraged Miri to play videogames with him. It was one of the few ways he was sure they could bond.

“I’m sure she’ll like them. No matter which flavor you make.” He replied. Reaching for a chocolate chip muffin. “You could have made these out of cardboard and she would be happy. Miri’s good like that.” He took off the paper, and then took a big bite. His eyes lighting up. It was sweet, and fluffy, and still warm from the oven. He’d never had a muffin, but if he had he was sure this would have been the best one he ever had. “It’s good.”

[Y/N] beamed and gave an excited head tilt. “Yes! I’m glad you like them.” They then looked at the clock and went over to the other counter. “I’m gonna make some coffee, since Kazuki will be up soon. Do you want any? Double cream, two sugars?”

Rei nodded as he shoved the rest of the muffin in his mouth and reached for another. “Don’t eat them all before Miri gets up! If you do I’ll have to make more!”

‘Wouldn’t that be a shame’ He thought, but limited himself to just the two for now as not to ruin this present for Miri.

[atti-rambles]

I wanna go into how Miri sees Kazuki and Rei differenty based on how they are presented to her. I haven’t seen anyone talk about this so I wanted to share my take since I grew up with a blended home (I grew up with my birth mom and my stepdad).

So at the start, Miri thinks Kazuki is her bio dad. Of course, he isn’t, but that is how he presented him to her when they met. So she always called him Papa and saw him as her “real” dad.

And then there’s Rei. He doesn’t allow Miri to call him Papa at first, still not letting himself be in at position. This would technically make Rei the stepdad, since he’s the definition of one. Being the partner of her “bio” dad.

Sure, that’s obvious, right? Yeah, you probably noticed that too and didn’t think of anything of it. Of course, for me I noticed how Rei’s emotional distance wasn’t only due to his trauma but also how it fits his role as the stepdad.

I know in media stepparents are protrayed as evil or like the same as a bio parent. And yes, they are the same as a “real” parent, but there is a line you can’t cross. Because at the end of the day, they aren’t your child. Sure you’re their parnet, but your partner was their parent first. You need to respect that boundary by letting that parent sit ground rules and displinary actions and so on.

This isn’t a bad thing at all, actually it’s healthy. Even if you’re not doing what you think a parent should do to their child or treat them; you’re still their parent. You can still care for them and be in the parental role all the same. The kid will still see you the same as a bio parent if you still fill that parnetal role they need.

With Rei this is clear with how he acts towards Miri. At first he doesn’t want to be a father to Miri, not letting her call him Papa. Yeah, part of it is due to him not wanting to develop an emotional attachment since he was taught to not grow those. However, he also knows Kazuki is more into the Papa title. He was the one who claimed the girl as his daughter after all, which makes him the “bio” father.

Although, since Rei is in the role of stepdad, he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to act with Miri. He knows he needs to act a certain way with her, but due to his upbringing and inability to let himself be a father; he chooses to be more distant.

Of course, over time he lets himself be in that father role. He grows closer to her because she was the one who tried to break his shell. Once he saw Miri did see him as a Papa, he allowed himself to be more emotionally available for her.

Even with Rei’s upbringing, he’s letting himself break the cycle of showing his daugther he cares. Even if he’s still stoic at times, he’s allowing himself to show his emotions and smile around her, and Kazuki.

When Rei lets her use the Papa title with him, that’s when his character takes a turn. When he’s Papa Rei, he can be the father figure Miri needs, one that Kazuki can’t fill. He is the stability that the two needs when it comes to things getting overboard and such. I mean, he calls out Kazuki for when he’s being too overzealous over something related to their daughter. He was completely unable to read someone emotionally like that until Miri.

It’s great how Rei can heal because he wants to be a good father to Miri. And yeah, this is true for Kazuki too, but his situation is very different and I might go into later idk. 

It’s rare to see media, especially stuff from Japan tackle this stuff. Divorces and remarriages aren’t seen highly in Japan. Of course, in this situaition that’s now how the public sees them; they see a gay couple with an adopted child.

Maybe later in the series it might be explained Kazuiki is the “bio” dad, and Rei is just his partner. We won’t know for certain until later, but I feel like it could go this way. I don’t know if it was intentional or I’m looking too deep into it, but I feel like the subtext is there. This show has been going very realistic and different routes that what you except from an anime, or shows in general honestly. I’m still amazed on how realisitic they protray the relationships with a blended family like this, it’s really beautiful to me.

Maybe I am projecting a little, and maybe I’m subtly sharing upbringing a bit too much. But, I saw my relationship with my stepdad in these two. Kinda relatable too bc my stepdad did not have a good dad either, ofc i won’t go into it.