#Just what i needed after work today too | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

carriedreamerxx · 1 year ago

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I'm not gonna spoil anything

But this epilougue made my shipper's heart weep with happiness, rainbows and I won't be over this for at least 24 hours.

Anyways: Fic incoming.

Probably about 2 hours. 😂😂

#my writing #Mochi mayhem is how you do pokemon storyline for mythicals RIGHT #Oh my god this DLC epilougue was GOLD #GOLD #Just what i needed after work today too #arven/juliana #arven x juliana #Fic incoming

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icewindandboringhorror · 5 months ago

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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol

#wax seal #crafts #wax stamp #stationery #Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night #sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together #with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite #since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa #the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax #did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm #alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because #otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking #set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife #and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh #ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors #of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c #RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I #think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give #everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the #visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven #city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating #somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do #stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol #elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other #thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot #though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh #waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool #Tis Always The Weather

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buwheal · 1 year ago

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I wanna give him a blanket. Can it maybe just materialize outta nowhere?

(I know fabric wrinkles suck to draw. You don't gotta 😵)

#i uh #i got carried away. Oops. wtf is wrong with this guy??#Lmk if you need translations for the particularly glitchy part.#also just to clarify the physical glitch is not what /caused/ him to say that it just particularly irritated him and so he lashed out-#-before he could think ab it. i almost contemplated a frame of him apologizing & then i thought about it... he would not. nuh uh.#Last ask with this setting for now. It /will/ come back though because he sleeps there.#stayed up a little too late to finish this... i was so excited all day to do this one lmfao #it wasnt supposed to go past where he calls you a plethora of names but i needed to make it somehow transition back to the storefront later #thank you brave anon for your attempt. not really how it works here though. The fabric folds isnt really the issue lol.#as an apology you get the longest one to date. thanks o7.#spamton #spamton g spamton #[you've got mail!]#he switched up so quickly after it dissapated beause he realized he was just yelling at a camera... embarasing.. what a freak #going crazy in the tags today not sorry

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mrmeepsmadmind · 14 days ago

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they are ignoring my big beautiful pathetic himbo wife and his cute little platypus tail that he has for some tank part reason im too dumb to understand why

#how can u laugh 😿 this is not a JOKE 😾⁉️⁉️⁉️#love the way starscream was smiling and entertained by demo's people pleasing and having to make himself frown #so he can make demo even more exasperated by his apathy #'it's funny when he nags cyclonus but he can stfu around me pls '#part of what makes armada starscream so cool is demo taking a lot of the more pathetic sides of his ppl pleasing #starscream's ppl pleasing is more for competitive career (power) reasons and fear #demo's tries to be but also he just wants megatron to like him and be nice to him pls :(#whereas megs actually likes starscream and wants him to succeed one day just not today lol #and starscream is like no wtf ure weird i just want ur position . gtfo #it's like the one worker the manager wants to make a new manager one day but the worker hates it there & just does whats needed then leaves #& trains new ppl by being like 'yea so the fuckass manager likes it like this so if u see him then do that shit but heres how i do it lol'#new ppl being mini cons who hes like that cool younger adult to wholl send ppl home instantly if theyre sick & is chilled but professional #meanwhile demo is the suck up tryhard who just needs to put the fries in the bag bro #he wants to be manager so bad but hes also annoying and dumb and megs just wants him to leave his office so he can pretend 2 work #cyclonus is the broke guy who just goofs off bcs if he gets fired then he gets fired but they havent yet bcs theyre understaffed #n he knows it too. he sleeps on the job if it slows down for 1 second. but hes an adrenalin junkie who can get distracted #demo wants meg to want his effin cookje so freaking bad... i love pathetic men #sideways secretly has 3 jobs total & 2 of them are at their competitors' who pay better so he dgaf abt this one #he never picks up shifts and doesnt care abt working less hours. hes hust here for the drama tbh #he clocks in wondering if demo will ever get that megadck hes been bitching abt #he clocks out a disappointed fujoshi #it's ok bcs karen hot rod who works at their competitors comes storming in with his kids & needs rizzed up #by either starscream or sideways bcs they fucked up his kids' orders on purpose after hr gave them a spiel abt their long list of allergies #demolisher #starscream #cyclonus #transformers #maccadam #tf armada #sideways

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jrueships · 6 months ago

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Paul George on Stephen A. Smith’s Kawhi Leonard jab: “I didn’t like that moment… Kawhi wants to play… We exhausted a lot out of Kawhi this season. So at some point your body breaks you down… I didn’t appreciate that moment. I know I laughed because the situation was lighthearted, but deep down it was like you gotta let that go, Stephen A.”

Paul George, knight in shining armor

#HE DOES . u know. defend his girlbosses #as a good malewife husband soes #but like... he'll defend them.. five days after the fact #like hes just zoned out during the actual time of necessary defense #thinking about what new gaming chair to buy for himself whilst squinting harshly #i think tauruses and caps get shoehorned into being hashtag Daddies hashtag when it comes to personalities #like yes theyre grounded but that also means they like to duck into their little safety hovels sometimes #if a taurus is in an uncomfortable place/position.. they will often just smile& think abt how much they miss their regular place of comfort #until the moment passes #'oh but theyre so stubborn and loyal! theyll stand up for anyone! all the time!' stubbornness can ironically flucuate #theyre still showing stubbornness! just to the fact that they wanna go home. and they need this moment to pass #and if they bring something up rn.. it will not pass rn #this kind of thinking does not always bode well with fire signs #as much as i love to bully paul .. seeing others do it just isnt the same.. it does not come from a place of love in the end !!#'hes always been a coward-- too afraid to step up and be the bad guy. do the dirty work' no girl hes just a bit stupid #hes literally excitedly told reporters that hes soooo hyped up to try and be the rebound passer guy today #and then one game later hes like 'yea i kinda did too much.. that was.. not good 😔'#like he is doing the best in his mind! his doing bad is not out of bad intent! it's good intent and he is just failing miserably at it #LEAVE MY CRINGEFAIL MALEWIFE ALONE ‼️‼️‼️#MY CANCELLED GIRLFAILURE !!#he just wants to be a trophy husband to a terrifying strange and unusual mystery of a man like isnt that why we wrote dracula #is this not why creepypasta self insert y/n imagines exist on wattpad ?#paul george is just a y/n living in a spiteful world #LMFAOOO #hes so stupid i want to kill him but no one else can kill him but me ok #pg13 years old

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canayams-art · 2 months ago

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#yams thought #been trying to figure out if it’s worth saying anything cos I know a lot has already been said #but fuck it I think it needs to be said again and again that #it’s okay to let yourself feel whatever feelings you’re feeling today and tomorrow and for however long you need to feel them #but it’s also just as important to keep going— keep your chin up #do it for those who came before you who fought tooth and nail for what you now possess despite the fear and uncertainty #do it for those who will come after you so that they have the courage to follow in your footsteps too #do it for yourself so that you don’t let yourself fall into despair for the unknown #keep going— with love and joy and compassion— keep going so that others know they can keep going too #don’t let today jade you— let it remind you that the work of Doing and Being Better never ends

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sainz100 · 3 months ago

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2024 Singapore GP | x

#hi everyone I'm sorry I vanished for a few days #this weekend has been hard here with irl family things and in my heart in the world of F1 #I feel so so so so much for Daniel and I keep riding a roller coaster of anger that RBR let this happen and sorrow if this is it #then I swing back to hope #not just in 2025 (which I still believe in!!)#but that he can find joy and fufillment and love somewhere better #he deserves so much better than the callously cruel weekend from a sport he's given so much of his life to #I'll be a Daniel fan no matter where he goes next #but my trust in RBR is irrevocably shattered as it is for many (not that I had much to begin with!)#but he was thrown to the wolves and I'm just so angry and heartbroken this happened #but then the possible last lap of his potential last race given to Max #thank you Daniel #and I'm hopeful til the end #I hope he gets what he wants but he deserves so much love #and seeing the love from fans and the people in his life who DO care #I'm a newer fan but I have become so fond for Daniel so much and the anticipation is killing me #let him and fans have peace (even if the goal is Checo retiring after the Mexico GP then at least give some closure for the month between)#just a hard weekend #and the FIA absurdity with Max too ugh #and Carlos' crash in quali ahhh just an awful weekend #with that and an overwhelming family weekend I just couldn't bring myself to post anything #but thank you everyone for this space #I need to catch up but I have seen so many folks echo how I feel #it is upsetting and needless and uncerimonious and cruel #I'll be hopeful forever there is a chance #but Daniel deserves to be happy and RBR proved how heartless of a place they can be #I'll savor the silver linings of Max and Daniel's bond and those on the team who lifted him up #I'll be away again for a work event today but I looked around insta a bit last night #I'll post and tag for the GP if anyone wants to not see it!! still hurts but it'll all be okay in time I know it ❤️#autumn posts

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spamtoon · 10 months ago

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i would take their poison

Sketch + Line Art for those Clicking Under the Cut(tm) (archival purposes honestly)

#moshi monsters #sweet tooth moshi monsters #experimentation i am COG AWFUL at digital dear goodness i was playing with coloring and transparency and all those fun digital doodads.#next time i probably wont have black outline or i'll do it differently. or i'll try well. not doing this. it sure was a process im #i'm an amateur everyone who masically only doodles. does the sketch look better than the final. kinda! but thats okay because im learning #and y'know what. sometimes in life you just need to draw faves no consequences #for how saturated a character they are i kinda feel like i pastelled things too muc and trapped myself with my convoluted layer setup but m #it was looking WEIRD with everything at full force #maybe the sparkles look dumb maybe the hair looks dumb and out of place and why i kinda made the lollipop a little funky too #uhh. first digital piece posted... ever?#the arm is SO fucky i am not that was. thats not what perspective is spam #yes this is what i spent a good chunk of today doing after i started working on coloring it and then. decided to go for it.#cooolrs a little inaccurate on the horns and such but man one of the biggest art things was like #i dont have to have everything at their perfect hex codes all the time. this would look way worse if i just. used their standard colors #yeah this is. instead of looking like its forward and to the right it kinda just looks like they have a Bigger hypno-lolly #especialy becase. i did not bother on the gloves and platforms i the sparkles work with 2 kinda sorta but you know #im practicing! i'm learning! i'll get better and learn how to do things more effectively!#anyway. sweet toof #though hey their arm looks even more fucked in the line art and sketch SO #note to future self have a Consistent Line Art Size so that if you feel like the line art looks like shit during coloring you dont have to #gamble on what size it was while changing it #sketch lollipop looks better i should have kept it small. but its fine. we'll get em next time boys (tm)#yes i know my gif post was so fancy and then the drawing is just THIS

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danielnelsen · 4 months ago

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update: peach is doing very well!! she's eating and sleeping normally (sleeping more than normal, really, but that's to be expected)!! after 3 days of not sleeping and a few changes in painkillers, she finally just napped for an hr then, after another day, slept through the whole night (and most of the next day). she's started following all her usual routines again and is very keen to eat! still on some painkillers, but they're not having any horrific side effects anymore

now that im not staying up to keep an eye on her all night (while also dealing with upgrading my computer and my phone and also my sister preparing to go overseas and the dogs barking and howling constantly due to all of the above), i finally got some decent sleep too and slept for about 14 hrs. so today ive got that weird shakiness that i get from sleeping too much, but hey it's better than the whole of the last week

#personal #and i have a working computer that's finally on windows 10 so that's one less thing to have background stress about #and i have a working phone for the first time in.. a year? 1.5 years? idfk. my previous phone was 16gb so i could fit like 2 apps #could barely take pictures (and couldnt store them) and couldnt update most of my apps because i couldnt update my os because no space #so every app ran slow and then eventually my phone would crash if i opened the storage section of the settings #so i couldnt even offload apps so i could delete them while keeping the data for when i downloaded them again #couldnt order medicine remotely because my chemist only lets you do that from the app (not the website)#couldnt control the aircon because that could only be done through an app #missed loads of stuff because i didnt have email notifications because i could only use my browser for emails #couldnt see tumblr polls on mobile because i couldnt update tumblr because i couldnt update my os #left the house less because i had to delete pokemon go and that genuinely helped me go for walks #ive been dealing with all that for a year so this is very exciting and such a ridiculous qol boost #it sucks how much something like that affects your life. what do you mean i need an app for everythingggg #but god im just glad peach is ok. like there was a moment when i was so stressed trying to update my computer because it wasnt working #and then she ate a small bit of food for the first time in 3 days and just. everything was suddenly fine again #and the other night i spent like 6 hrs just sitting here downloading and installing things on my computer #but it was fine because peach was on the chair next to me sleeping through the whole night and it was such a relief #my sister finally got her flight yesterday (after it was moved four days in a row) so that's just one less thing happening #ive started playing bg3 so that's cool and maybe ill get a chance to actually properly watch that new dav trailer lmao #that premiered at 2am on the first night peach was home from surgery and hadnt eaten or slept yet and i was too stressed to care about dav #and it really just went downhill for the next few days #god. ok. today is the first day i can actually breeaaaathe

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itspileofgoodthings · 1 year ago

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also I had a breakthrough today that I had in fact overthought a Specific Problem to Death and that I had created a monster in my own mind and that’s why it felt like I was being eaten alive every time I tried to solve it.

#not to put too fine a point on it but that’s what happened with the whole is Maria going to become a nun question tbh #and I needed a counselor to say to me objectively and yet also crucially without any knowledge of me or my past:#you have overthought this and now you’re terrified of it #anyway it’s so obvious but it came home to me today. slowly.#like it was just like. Oh. You did it again #you’re terrified of this because you have thought of every possibility and every outcome and every twist and turn and shadow—-#until it has become a bloated demon in your mind that is totally separated from reality #while made up of real facts and details! and tbh I know it’s a common problem #but the anxiety chokehold I can put myself in is something that is so impressive and so disturbing #I can render myself absolutely helpless through the meanderings of my own thoughts #and what makes it worse—immeasurably worse—is that I get OUT of problems through careful thought and analysis #I’m programmed that way #so I can’t escape it by the usual means. I have to back away from the monster and see it and NAME it and then it can die away.#and only THEN can I apply my usual ways of going about things. I don’t know it just all clicked today #these past few days have just been bringing it all to a fever pitch for me #anyway I guess it’s also important to me that I still be allowed to be analytical about it!!! I have to use my brain!!!!!!!#in my desperation I have tried to shut it off to feel only with my heart. To try to catch the whisper of God’s voice in the wind #but tbh I am meant to use the gifts I have! But only in the right context #and that’s only after the demon has been killed or more accurately —deflated #my counselor has been so good about this tbh. she’s so matter of fact and blunt and salt of the earth and also she sees how my mind works #and wants me to be able to use it!!#so I’m just going to tell her that I did the bad thing with this other problem and can she help me find a way forward #ANYWAY THE MONSTERS TURNED OUT TO BE JUST TREES

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runefactorynonsense · 1 year ago

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Cozytober - Day 18 - Soup

Y'know we'll have to clean this up, right?

#Cozytober #Margot's RF Art #Rune Factory #Rune Factory Frontier #RF #RF1 #RFF #RF Frontier #Turning the entire bath house into a giant pot of soup just feels like a scheme of Melody's. IDK for what reason or festival #But I would not put it past her at all #Mist would 100% help and I think Rosetta just wants to see the carnage #local farmer is just aghast seeing where his hard work has gone- lucky he'll eventually find it funny too #Y'know I was sort of dreading this day for a bit because I thought my sketch was pretty lame. A stupid idea #then I realized I just needed to change the poses and BAM. NOW I LOVE IT.#I also wound up putting on the 1st RDJ Sherlock Holmes in order to make myself finish this as I was being rather lazy today #'how fast can I get this done- before or after Blackwood dies-' answer is right at the scene of his supposed resurrection #VERY fun movie- going to watch the rest and get work done on tomorrow's prompt #Rune Factory Mist #RF Mist #Rune Factory Rosetta #RF Rosetta #Rune Factory Melody #RF Melody

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michameinmicha · 6 months ago

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Might fuck around and get into crochet next

#i spent too much time on pinterest today at work tbh #buuut im telling myself that m? future roommate is a rly good crocheter and can help me with it if i have problems #(they definitely would theyre very sweet)#but then again when do i even have the time for it???#maybe ill try some stuff after moving #that seems reasonable #i wanna make pretty things!!!#i miss crafting!!!#need that sweet sweet hyperfixation juice and what better than an infinote source of making cute things #anyway until i have the time ill just daydream about granny squared with moons and stars on them #mine

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spacespore · 3 months ago

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HI TUMBLRR it’s me

#I ate ramen just now it was soooo god I think ramen is just it just is better after 10pm #im right #ughhh ok that actually reminded me earlier my classmate was making an Asian people eat dogs joke like he put on this awful accent and he wa #all like ‘dog tastes so good with rice’ and then he did other stuff too #but what really made me upset is that someone who I thought was my friend found it really humorous! wow okay!#I know it’s not really a big deal but im still kind of sad like I’ve lost all my respect for you now #anddd they were my only friend in the class so now I’m stuck there for the rest of the semester I guess . I mean I’ll still be nice to them #but I just don’t think I can bring myself to like them anymore sorryyy . not really . but kind of #idk if I’m overreacting . in elementary school though people would make jokes actually about me eating dog and it always made me really sad #but I never held it against them cause we were children #but now I feel like you’re old enough to know what you’re laughing at..#wow ok this really derived away from me being on tumblr and having just ate the worlds best ramen #well . not really I mean it was good but I’m allergic to normal noodles and I need to eat rice noodles and they’re not bad I just don’t lik #them as much Lol #I feel like my actual posts say nothing but if anyone ever reads the tags they probably know everything about me..#I use tumblr to complain half the time loll and I used to post my drawings more but I haven’t made any good drawings recently😭😭😭BUT WAIT!#i have a comic I’ll post in October we’ll see how far I am in it by then…#im like . halfway done with chapter oneeeee so maybe like I’ll post all of chapter one on hallowern.. how does that sound�� cause actually #for those of you who don’t know my story has ghosts in it #im like trying to keep it a little silly right now but the tone might shifftttt idk!!!!! we’ll seeeeeeee cause actually I have NOT worked #out the entire plot.. just like. most of it.#but I keep having ideas like midway through ughhh it’s an endless cycle!!!!!#like Francis . she used to be a random character who shows up once but then I was like . wait no! anjali should have ghost friends! and tha #that’s how Francis came to be #and actually today I kind of finalized her design^_^ albeit in my math notebook lol

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truethes · 2 months ago

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sb remind me to further discuss luoc.ha and also the luoc.ha and jin.g yuan parallels in hope they'll rerun the perfect timing lc with sun.day's

#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#for now ... it might be the last working day of my holiday but now is the perfect opportunity to write!#this week has been so busy for a holiday - ive had plans every dayyy and not gotten back in until like 4pm at the latest.#but today ... today its 1pm and i am taking it easy <3 #i was possessed by the urge to write last night so will continue that streak now. we'll hopefully get all i want to do done before bed toda #i just need it for luo.cha on my eu acc but also. its one of my fave fleeting glimmers. him pulling the umbrella down and AWAY from being #watched. he's relateable. i too would feel more embarrassed than his look of :/ at having to do it though.#i have a lot to discuss about luo.cha character wise. particularly after quick playing his sq on my NA acc #ill replay it on eu while paying more attention to whats spoken / revealed and get back to you all on that ...#ANYWAY I HOPE YOUVE ALL HAD A GOOD WEEK!! im not an al.ien sta.ge fan but seeing what happened on twitter i just wanna say. doomed narrativ #CALLS ME. but i have things to do before i call her back <3

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orcelito · 11 months ago

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Opening the local bubble tea store absolutely livid and shaking in rage and upset bc my bitch ass boss is too concerned about us sitting on the job to order the tea bags I requested Two Fucking Weeks Ago (it only takes like 4 or 5 days to ship) and so we're out and I had to hand wash the 1 reusable bag to make black tea and I have to strain the free floating tea leaves from the cold brew and I just KNOWWWW he's going to have something more to bitch about because he always does

Last straw on the camel's back, etc etc, I want to put in my two weeks notice by the end of this week. That's a goal for myself.

#speculation nation #i currently dont have a job lined up but im going to start applying Today #because i cant take this anymore. i cant fucking take this anymore.#i feel like im about to shatter from the strain of hos chokehold #8 years total under his thumb and for What? he doesnt appreciate me. he doesnt value me.#he's an asshole this place sucks and it makes me so sad because i really do care about the people here #but i cant. i cant fucking do it anymore.#im really glad im alone on shift rn bc ha ha ha. ill put up the mask for customers but i am #genuinely shaking rn. im so upset.#this being after he complained Again about people sitting on the job during the meeting last night like #shut UPPPP I DONT CAAAARE #YOU TRY WORKING WITH CHRONIC PAIN AND FATIGUE AND A JOB THAT DOESNT GIVE GENUINE BREAKS #'oh if you need to take a break then do it but just dont sit down on the job“#WHEN DO YOU THINK I COULD TAKE MY BREAK? IM WORKING ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!+#and when im.not working alone im working with trainees so i still cant leave the store unattended #im sick of him.im so sick of him and im THIIIIIIIIIS close to just breaking down here and now #i hate him i hate him i hate him i hate him i HATE HIM #negative/#sorry for the vent i just feel like.im about to blow up and everyone's busy so ic cant. vent properly #im not even done opening bc im too busy freaking out and pacing and being angry #and hes gonna watch me sitting here thru the cameras and be like Ho Hum Look at you immediately doing what i said not to #like fucking STOP!!!! WATCHING US!!!!!!! YOU FUCKING CREEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#IM SO SICK OF HIM WATCHING US THROUGH THE CAMERAS. HE HAS NO TRUST IN ME DOING MY JOB #0 value for me as a person or employee 0 value for my to this day dedication to this company #i want to send my heel through those front windows. watch them shatter. wreck the whole place #because fuck this place and fuck him #i wontttt bc i dont wanna go to jail lol but the temptation is there. i fucking hate his guts.#im going to put in my 2 weeks by the end of this week. im going to start applying to places Today. just fucking watch me.

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guhhhhhhhhhhh · 9 days ago

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Oh little people in my phone, we're really in it now 😔😔

#it's lay on my bed yell into mattress hours #I can't tell if I'm reasonably stressed. over stimulated. or emotionally heightened because of the steroid I am on. but #today has been too many things and I feel.#sooooooo done #so done with everything #it raining and I haven't seen the sun in ages. I have bronchitis and haven't been Not Sick in a whole ass month #I have so many things to get done before Christmas which is IN A WEEK JESUS CHRIST #my CAR isn't drivable which SUCKS and it needs new TIRES and probably very expensive ENGINE REPAIRS and #my dad says he can fix them but I still have to take it into the shop just to make sure we know for sure what the problem is but #the it's already going to be in the shop and HES SICK and also like. busy. and doesn't have time to fix car #and so I might as well just pay out the fucking wazooo for them to fix it #but idk how long that will take #and I'm borrowing my grandmas car which is GREAT! like I'm so grateful to have that as an option but also! I feel BAD because it's her car #and she does actually use it and like. I don't want to take that away from her for too long #because then I feel BURDENSOME #and my mom just told me that one of my relatives just passed away and I didn't know her too well but her mom ALSO died last year like #On Christmas Day like very traumatically and I feel soo soo bad for all my cousins who have basically just had the entire Christmas season #ruined for them because they will have lost their mom AND their grandma around that time #and that HORRIBLE like oh my godddddd #and like #this holiday seasons is feeling very weird and different and worse and not BAD But like many things have changed this year and as someone #who does NOT enjoy little changes in routine and appreciates tradition uh. hehe the lines are blurring and it's stressing me outtttttt #and I got home and I had to pee and I look like shit because I've been running around all day #only to realize I left my keys Inside The House and my roomate had locked the door when he went to the gym and #thankfully the gym is a stones throw away from our house but he wasn't answering his phone #so I had to GO THERE. THROUGH THE RAIN. looking like the amount of tired and done that I am. and walk into the gym that is naturally PACKED #because it's right after work. and do the walk of shame past the v friendly gym owner who I haven't seen in MONTJ because I've been SICK #and haven't been able to work out which i ALSO FEEL GUILTY AND BAD ABOUT and #walked past all the Busy Fit Gym People in my normal person clothes to the very back where my roomate was and stand there while he finishes #his silly little reps to get his keys from him

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