#Just let my boy rest
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To think that for two seasons now the thing I wanted the most from this show was to get to know more about Connor's mother and now we might get that in the most horrible, painful way imaginable - Kendall doing it without talking to Connor at all, it probably being splashed all over the tabloids -
Be careful what you wish for I guess
#Connor Roy#Succession spoilers#I'm so scared that the monkey paw is going to curl in the most horrifying ways#WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHETHER SHE'S STILL ALIVE#Ken pls Connor never did anything to you why are you like this you don't have to deepen the trauma even more#Just let my boy rest
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congrats on your recovery n all yuuji but unfortunately for you I thought the scars were cool >:/
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#these took so long i kept getting distracted cries#but they r done and this is yuuji's post canon scar map to me. argue with a wall we should have had this#looks at canon this sign won't stop me bc i cant read >:(#smh robbed!!!!!! the potential!!!!! the aesthetic!!!!! th angst the symbolism!!!!!!#gege i respect u i do not want beef after u let my boys live#but u rly couldnt have scuffed him up a LITTLE more.....there were so many to choose from didnt u have a favourite.....#all he has to show fr all that r two little scratches. rly.#((not counting the ear n fingers thank god i get That much))#anyway i made a whole post abt why i think yuuji should have kept the scars n what it would have stood for symbolically#its along th same lines as the yuuji Big Face Scar agenda hh i just care a lot abt character design n visual storytelling ok#anyway fine he can keep the eye but in this house it grew back wrong it's lighter and foggy and now his prescription is stronger#as fr the rest#megumi has dibs on the upper right eye apparently so yuuji can have the bottom half#i would have doubled down on the scars on his left but a. the right side is the symbolic one#b. he healed an entire eye so it makes sense tht he'd heal other more minor injuries as well#c. tbh it's mostly based on what looked good i think this arrangement guides the eye across his face nicely#gave him a lil nose nick bc smth smth sukuna idk it's just there to balance things out#also as i said. the jaw and neck scar are there for kissing purposes i make the rules im salty and i do what i want smile#in other news thank u past hina fr doing those hair render studies im very happy with my yuuji hair as of late
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Imagine little Leo having trouble sleeping so he ends up watching tv and movies with Splinter to pass the time. Splinter often just passes out in his chair, but Leo likes the company anyway.
One day, Leo’s rifling through the movies his dad brought back for them (usually 70s and 80s stuff - Splinter has a bias) and he gasps.
Leo runs over to Splinter and holds up a copy of The Last Unicorn, begging that they watch it that night.
Splinter remembers absolutely nothing about the movie, but hey it’s got a unicorn and it’s animated so it’s gotta be fine, right? So he turns the movie on and passes out near immediately.
He’s woken up roughly an hour and a half later by Leo climbing up onto his chair and sobbing hysterically into his chest.
The movie is now one of Leo’s favorites.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt splinter#Leo: you wouldn’t let ME leave would you?#Splinter: no of course not my son!#but it was never a matter of letting by those left#rather it is a choice by those leaving#it’s one of the many moments that flashes through Splinters mind when he hears his boy sacrifice himself#anyway leo loves unicorns so obviously he gets to be emotionally devastated and terrified by the last unicorn like the rest of us#he considers forcing his brothers through the same emotional turmoil he went through#but he hides the movie instead#wanting it to be something just for him#man this really hits harder for all those ‘future leo lives’ AUs huh
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Tokyo Disneyland's really going out of their way to spread the absolute, objective truth about the one and only Donald Duck.
Donald is the best at what he does, and what he does is the best. Everyone is here celebrating the Duck of the year!
Even though it rained almost the entire day I visited, the adoration for this number one duck would brighten anyone's day.
So thank you, Donald Duck, for 90 years of being you.
#donald duck#tokyo disneyland#disneyland#three caballeros#the three caballeros#jose carioca#panchito pistoles#disney#i am actually still upset that i never made it to the three caballeros pop-up cafe in shinjuku!#it was made for me! and because the rest of my family could never get their act together. we just never went to shinjuku 😔#but less about the things i missed. let's enjoy celebrating my number one boy's big 90th birthday#find the quacky celebration: donald the legend parade on youtube for the full celebration vibes#because woah-oh we love donald duck! oh-woah-ah-oh the one and only donald duck!
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Shhhhhh... He eepy.
#messmer#elden ring#messmer the impaler#practice doodles heuheuheu#sleepy eepy boi#I am weak I just want to rest my head on him and nap too.#Messmer the personal space heater#cloth is fun to paint.#he needs all the pillows and blankets let him be comfy.#Melkior's Art
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pouring one out for luo binghe in my disciple SQQ fic, poor guy has taken a backseat here. we're nearly 30k words deep and he hasn't even shown his face once. it'll be much longer before he even actually talks to Shen Qingqiu.
(i say im pouring one out but in reality im sitting in my director's chair chewing on a cigar and wearing a beret as he tearily and unsuccessfully pleads with me for more scenes with Shen Qingqiu)
#svsss#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#SQQ: building his found family on QJP and Plotting#LBH: idk off sniffing rocks somewhere while on one of his protagonist adventures#i say im pouring one out for him but in reality im laughing at him. sorry my guy you are just NOT my priority. be a better peak lord#tell your disciples to stop with the institutionalized peak hierarchy and the internal political intrigue and MAYBE we'll talk#oh he cant hear me he's wearing airpods. welp. *stares at LQG and YQY* more SQQ time for you then!#its funny because i do love bingqiu i just decided to write a fic exploring a roleswap concept i saw where LBH wasnt a good peak lord#and the concept itself didnt explore what consequences might occur if LBH was as inactive a PL as LQG was before redeeming him#like if BZP can go lord of the flies while unsupervised what happens if you leave QJP the same way?? political court intrigue and sabotage#being the protagonist and going on many adventures is great and all.... if you aren't tied down with the responsibilities of a peak lord.#binghe. binghe. binghe. binghe. your head disciple has instated a hierarchy on your peak and routinely sabotages the cultivation of the#junior disciples by actively disrupting their learning by sending them off to do menial chores that should be distributed equally across#the peak. binghe. he's gonna get someone killed. binghe. BINGHE. you're inadvertently creating a generation of cultivators who harbor#resentment against you specifically bc you failed to care and protect them as their shizun. BINGHE. DO YOU HEAR ME? BINGHE#oop. i guess not. SQQ time to organize a covert resistance group. i mean a secret study group that also doubles as an organization dedicate#to ruining Li Tao's reputation and standing amongst the rest of the sect. by boys! have fun storming the castle!#tldr unsweetened lemonade is: 'i force SQQ into a position of no power where keeping his head down is not an option bc neither the system#+ nor his surrounding peakmates will let him fade into the BG. and there's no LBH around for him to wifebeam into the Fave Disciple spot'#its also a 'SY and SJ are the same person' fic bc i love the trope and having a disciple SY where he's also SJ is such a specific niche#that i'll just have to write it myself in order to see it. im having a blast with it. im gonna give him SO much found family.#liushen and yueshen(? qijiu?) are fighting for 1st while poor bingqiu is trying to claw its way out of 3rd with minimal success#good fucking luck babe you gotta fight SQQ's seven evil disciples first. THEN you gotta fight Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan.#and then you gotta fight me. romance isnt even in the cards for this fic they're fighting for the SUBTEXT.#roll for disadvantge binghe
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Rest
Guess what? I've got more Jamil x reader for y'all. You can also find this on ao3. No warnings, just 866 words of kinda fluffy(?) caretaking stuff with gender-neutral reader.
At this point, you know Jamil’s schedule almost as well as he does. So, when you have the chance, you head to Scarabia’s kitchen, hoping to spend some time with Jamil while he and the other students prepare dinner.
However, when you enter, it takes you but a moment to notice Jamil’s uncharacteristic fumbling and the tired look in his eyes. The way Jamil’s chopping the vegetables has you worried about him cutting himself with that knife he’s usually so adept with, and it seems it’s only force of habit that’s keeping him on track.
You frown, and when your eyes meet Jamil’s, you can already see him put his guard up.
So he knows what state he is in, huh? And still, here he is.
It seems Jamil is reading your thoughts, all of him telling you drop it before any words are even said.
At least he still lets you lean in and give a quick kiss to his cheek in greeting.
“Hello love. Do you still have a lot on your agenda for today?” you ask, keeping your tone low for at least some semblance of privacy in the busy kitchen.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” is the response you get.
Of course.
It takes a little more pestering before Jamil actually answers your question. Your lips purse. That list is far too long to your liking.
You take a moment to think, juggling your own plans and to-do list against the urgency of the things Jamil mentioned.
“Will Kalim be eating from that?” you ask, pointing at the food Jamil is preparing.
“Yes.”
“Alright, I won’t be touching that one, then. I’ve gotta do a few things but I’ll be back when you’re done here.”
“Don’t,” Jamil says with a glare, clearly aware of what you’re thinking.
Yet even his disapproving look doesn’t have the usual weight behind it.
“Yes. I will,” you say firmly, even as your heart curls inwards with another bout of concern.
Really, when did he get so tired?
And how did you not notice it earlier?
You leave the kitchen before Jamil can protest further, hurrying through the dorm corridors to find Kalim.
Soon you have an enthusiastic – and concerned – supporter for your plans. You have Kalim point out a few reliable Scarabia students to help with a few of the most urgent matters Jamil mentioned – cleaning up the common areas, delivering some paperwork to Crowley, preparing some dorm-wide notices – while you see to Kalim getting his school supplies in order for the following day. You even recruit a couple of third years to help Kalim with his homework.
You’ll see to the rest tomorrow – after all, you do also have a boyfriend to look after.
Your conversation over dinner can hardly be called anything else than an argument – despite Kalim’s best attempts at acting as a moderating force between you two. It is very tempting to ask Kalim to tell Jamil to take the rest of the day off – it’s not like Jamil would be willing to openly disobey a direct order. Still, you really don’t need to remind Jamil of his position on top of everything else that you’re already doing more or less against his wishes.
Eventually, however, Jamil’s had a square meal, the most urgent things on his to-do list are being taken care of, and you’ve managed to drag him to his bed.
“I really wish you wouldn’t push yourself so hard,” you murmur, your arms wrapped tightly around Jamil. You’re telling yourself you really do just want to cuddle, to offer some respite to Jamil. Still, there might also be a part of you worried that if you were to let go, he’d just jump up and get back to working himself to the bone.
Yet, for all his protestations, just the fact that you’ve gotten Jamil to lay down with you speaks volumes of his current exhaustion.
“I can’t just leave my duties, albi. You know this.”
“Making yourself too indispensable, is what you’re doing,” you protest.
Oh, you know it’s not so simple. Not with his background, not with all the expectations and assumptions.
But sometimes you really wish it would be.
Jamil merely scoffs in response to your words.
Still, it is undeniable that he is slowly beginning to relax in your arms, slowly bringing his head closer to yours. His eyes are starting to flutter, too.
“I will still need to help Kalim with his homework, at the very least.”
You wonder who he is trying to convince more, you or himself.
“Amin and Khalil are helping him. They’re basically top of their classes, aren’t they? I’m sure they’ve got it.”
Still, Jamil frowns.
You sigh. He really is not letting go, is he?
“Do you want me to go supervise?” you ask.
And leave you, unsaid yet hanging there right after your words.
“Don’t,” Jamil eventually says, the word barely more than a breath.
It seems he has accepted his fate.
You softly caress Jamil’s hair, listening to his softening breathing.
And when you wake up, wholly unaware of having been lulled to sleep in the first place, it’s to the lightest of touches from Jamil’s fingers.
Tagging @diodellet @twstgo @crystallizsch @jamilvapologist @jamilsimpno69 as per request If you'd like to be tagged for any future works, let me know!
#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#twisted wonderland x reader#jamil viper x reader#woop it sure has been quite the burst of creative energy lately#especially since this has apparently been sitting in my drafts since last august#but now you have it#I certainly can’t promise to keep up with this rate of writing (in fact I can promise I won't) but hey let's enjoy it while it lasts#and yes I’m hopping on the “jamil using arabic terms of endearment” train#I’ve read so many fics doing that that at this point it feels more natural than english ngl#even if english would probably be more canonical#also is it a *good* way to go about it to just pretty much just force someone to rest like this? probably not#is it sometimes the only way to get stubborn people to stop for a bit? perhaps#and is it something I might do?#...possibly#also oh boy can you tell that I'm avoiding jamil's dialogue like the plague lately?#I really need to reread so much of his stuff to get a hang of his voice again#(also if you notice typos pls tell me because they always bug me)#(or other wonkiness because I'm not a native speaker and sometimes things just go silly)#anyways hope y'all enjoy!
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zonked out on the dog bed snoring up a storm. you come over and rub the soft spot on the top of my nose. i let out the most contented sigh
#blllllaggggh busiest doggy everyday of my life and i am exhausted#ye beware of sadposting ahead. more like just need to get thoughts out of my headposting yk. im ok just tired#friend said to me today 'youre always doing something these days jasper when do you rest?'#and i was like huh good question! i dont hahaha. damn#which is not a bad thing always. but my plate is incredibly full and i have no one to help me#im in a really good place. things are happening that ive wanted to happen for years. but i have no time to take care of me#and the ppl who are supposed to take care of me dont. and they let me down everytime i try to ask for it. which im used to#but it doesnt make it any easier. theres just not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in my little doggy body#i used to be able to push myself past the wall of exhaustion. but after my therapy program ik i just can not do that anymore#im really proud of myself. being an adult is hard. im doing everything right. but i just wish i had someone by my side to help me#anyways.#i am a very good boy#yapping#if youre reading this hi im just venting im fine. its just been a long day and i want someone to give me a head massage#jasperbarks
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To be serious for a minute I don’t even think I’d be sad if AidaIro kills Mitsuba again… just annoyed. It wouldn’t be a surprise, everyone expects it’s to happen, and I honestly don’t think it would be very good writing?? It’s just redundant… we’ve seen Mitsuba die several times before, we’ve seen Kou grieve. As he’s dead in the og timeline also it wouldn't really be a reason to convince Nene or Akane that the new timeline must be done. Don't get me wrong I think a lot of the fandom will be uspet, because he died, again. But honestly I struggle to see what purpose it would even serve for the the story, thats not just a repeat of a already done storyline I doubt it would even have real shock value considering people expect it…
Don't get me wrong it's not that I don't enjoy there writing and I'm not insulting what they've done so far, just wary for the future I suppose.
Not to say however if someone else in the cast dies I think that could be really interesting.(I don't think it can be Nene cause main character, or Akane because then there just kinda stuck in the new time and it gg, and I would hope it wouldn't be Aoi because she already has a kind of damsel in destress issue)
But honestly I really have no idea what direction AidaIros gonna go soooooo, tbh I think it would be really funny if the red house was just like, a normal house
#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#hot take#maybe idk#I love Mitsuba he doesn’t deserve this abuse istg#AidaIro I beg you let my boy go#if you have a different opinion I’d actually be really interested to hear it#friendly ofc#this is just my opinion#idk maybe they’ll kill him again and do something totally unexpected and blow our socks off#I think this might be the most serious thing I’ve post lol#I’m just kinda passionate about like let this man rest??? and also just worrying about what might go wrong with my babies (aka the tbhk cast
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... how did you even get 7 int on tav tho lol :')
Do you honestly think Tav wouldn’t lose a chunk of her brain when her camp is a freak show
#bg 3 camp is a carnival change my mind#i lose brain cells every time wyll is inconvenienced and it avalanches into his daddy issues#shadowheart and lae’zel are those dogs who fight when there’s a gate in front and then behaves when the gate is unlocked#astarion and gale is just having eating contests#karlach is just happy for everyone while she b-boys around misery#halsin just wants to be sugar babied after being a daddy#and jaheira is so tired let her rest#baldurs gate 3#baldur's gate iii#baldurs gate fanart#baldurs gate tav#bg3art#bg3 shitposting#shadowheart#astarion#gale#karlach#lae’zel#halsin#wyll#mizora#jaheira
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sooooooo when i jokingly said to myself "haha did ruan mei play aeonic necromancy on tingyun's remains or something" i wasn't expecting that to literally be the case what the fuck
#ON ONE HAND! TINGYUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ON THE OTHER! HELLO???????????????????????????????????#that was a really good update . a little clunky in those transitions sometimes but ooooh boy that came together GOOD#jiaoqiu nearly sent me into hysterics i was so upset . and flabbergasted. mostly flabbergasted#also the part where hoolay let him go for a little bit and you had the option to try asking for help#with severe consequences to be reaped afterwards. that was so nervewracking#i ended up doing it once out of curiosity and immediately regretted it and was horribly anxious the rest of the time i was running around#and yeah those consequences sure do. Consequence#props to the writers and stuff for that one that was great i felt ill#FEIXIAO... GOD FEIXIAOOOOO OHHHH BOY I LOVE HERRR what a great character#i hoped and i prayed and i dreamed for a deep dive into her condition and not a vague gloss-over as hyv loves to do AND I GOT IT#moze didn't do enough tricks (aka just . being a part of the story and interacting with other characters) for me to care about him still#it's like#the yaoqing trio: yay yahoo yippee WOOOO YAYYYY#moze by himself: closes my eyes forever#DO MORE TRICKS FOR ME#lingsha's pretty cool. i will save her from her bad design#oh oh oh YANQING!!!!!!!!!! USING WHAT JINGLIU TAUGHT HIM AND IMMOBILIZING HOOLAY ALL BY HIMSELF!!!!!! OH YM GOD#MY LITTLE BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#that cutscene was terrifying i almost died of stress . i'm so proud of you yanqing. never do that again#i had fun and now it's 3 am and i have work in the morning. help me
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The Matrix Resurrections: Featurettes
#mom said it's my turn on the old man#Keanu Reeves#kreevesedit#keanuedit#*#dude's got limbs like one of those wacky waving inflatable tube men#that's a long boi#pls just let me hold one (1) of those catchers mitts you call hands#me 5'4": i will pick him up#im a vegetarian but my kfc order's gonna be 2 thighs#no one: keanu: 🤘#why is he eternally boyfriend shaped#i really need to rest#i need him in a way that's concerning to feminism#EYE CRINKLES#THEY ARE A SOURCE OF LIFE#i love arm#that's a smiley boy#are you even alive if it doesn't want to make you smile back i don't think so#i will give you 43 cents and a cookie if you let me play with your hair#but im open to negotiate payment#a man's collarbone can turn me into a victorian gentleman who just got a glimpse of an ankle#keke pls
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drabbles about the deer imagery in The Secret History (specifically in relation 2 Camilla) because her becoming a deer/believing that she did stuck in my mind (although this post will mostly take Camilla and the other's recollection of events to be as they recount it – if i examine it in it's effect as an incorrect account, that would be in a separate post)
Obviously there's, on a meta level, an irony to it – Camilla and Charles are named to make fun of the Princess Diana scandal that was happening at the time, and so ironically Camilla transforms into an animal sacred to Diana.
There's also a parallel that I think could be interesting to make between Camilla and Taygete, who for anyone unfamiliar, was turned into a deer by Artemis to protect her from Zeus' sexual advances. Although I think that what happened in the Bacchae was concensual sexually, I think it could possible be indicative in Camilla's narrative role as the "wanted"/"desired" one within the greek class – by Charles, Henry, Richard (although he wasnt there) and even Francis, although he wants to be her more so than actually wanting her.
Additionally, outside of how it actually functions within the story, her transformation into a creature associated so closely with innocence, especially in relation to Diana/Artemis' virginity, might perhaps be tied to Richards view of her as this "pure" and "virginal" person – obviously we know this is far from the truth, and he himself learns this later, but I think it definitely ties into this flawed angelic idea of her he so covets.
I think this interpretation ties into the myth of Actaeon (in terms of "deer transformation myths") although its very interesting to me that they different at key points – Camilla, the "virginual" character, is the one transformed, rather than the sexual transgressor (Charles) or the one who introduces miasma (Henry). But, like Actaeon, she is pursued and hunted – which, another key point – Actaeon is pursued and killed by his own hunting dogs, and Charles returns from the ritual with a bite mark, perhaps tying him into the myth thurther?
#sillies sillies#gay people will really write 5 paragraphs of analysis about a book written in the nineties instead of studing#(talking about himself)#~350 words isnt much BUT i dont write much literature analysis 4 myself outside of class#so I'm quite happy with this#feel free 2 add stuff on 🫡 I'm more familiar with Homer's works (and bits of Ovid) than i am wider greek myths#so if im missing any interesting deer transformation myths let me know :D#LOVE carmilla. obviously as flawed as any character but she's so interesting 2 me#both of the twins are honestly. what the fuck was their childhoods like that made them like that#cause. we know bits and pieces about francis and Henry's childhoods#and obviously Richard's#but i feel like we know so little about the twin's...#anyways#the secret history#the kat speaks#camilla macaulay#charles macaulay#francis abernathy#henry winter#richard papen#again not tagging buns cause hes not in here#although i wanna talk about his youth imagery @ some point#he's very Paris 2 me /pos#LOATH henry (ik hes as complex as the rest of them but he just rubs me up the wrong way. dont even hate him 4 the murder) but i really wish#i could hear his opinions on the character of the iliad#WHAT DID HE THINK OF PANDARUS. my boy my love#asshole in my class civ class who's name is very similar 2 henry's called him stupid... arse#he literally ticks every box of the homeric hero whats not to love#anyways. absolutely ESSAY of a post and tags#soz guys
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I still think about how Leo’s ideal day out for the fam’s venture into the Hidden City was basically just an effort to get some rest and relaxation because boy does he never get that ever.
#rottmnt#rottmnt leo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#Leo is that one kid who’s like yeah dude I’m chill I’m laidback#and on the inside he’s just in a constant fetal position rocking back and forth#at least the others got a good amount of time spent in Tahiti but Leo’s out here like please god just one spa day 🙏🙏🙏#no but tbh? it’s genuinely a great look at Leo’s character that he wants to go to a spa to basically just sleep in the sun#it’s not bombastic or flashy or anything he legit just wants a good place to get proper rest and care#that hair spa can catch these hands LET MY BOY HAVE HIS SPA DAY 🔪#HONESTLY EACH PERSON’S CHOICE OF WHERE THEY WENT FOR THEIR DAY OUT SAYS A LOT#like raph wants to emulate who he perceives as those in justice in a desire to become more like the hero he so desperately wants to be#leo goes off on his own in order to let his guard down and actually rest for more than a lackadaisical facade#donnie goes with april not only to salvage his pride and condemn magic but also to hold onto his self worth and genuinely help out#and mikey thrives in family and specifically the harmony within family and how that is portrayed through the act of simply being together#in this essay I will-
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i need people to shut the fuck up about the battle of caelid. like i dont care. i dont caree who won or lost its genuinely the least interesting thing to me stop bringing it up everytime someone mentions radahn or malenia. theres better things with to talk about these characters than a metaphorical dick measuring contest where they both lose
#elden ring#starscourge radahn#general radahn#malenia#malenia blade of miquella#the shattering#syro rambles#this is especially the case with radahn like please let my poor boy rest#misogynists have done irreversible damage to his reputation. hes just a man who loves his horse#genuinely i think we could’ve had so much more interesting conversations about him if dude bros didn’t have to ruin him for the majority#radahn and malenia sweeties get behind me
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// oc deep dive.
tagged by; @aztarion and @devilbrakers, thank you so much!!
tagging; @mojaves, @deadrlngers, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @adelaidedrubman and YOU!
What common/uncommon fear do they have?
Nathan has a lot of fears stemming from his paranoia. Tangible ones such as getting captured or killed by MOBIUS, his friends walking away from him, or someone following him home; as well as more unrealistic ones, such as somehow ending up back in STEM, or getting stuck in a time loop, or a giant sinkhole all the way to the core of the earth opening up right at his feet.
It also happens often enough that certain actions don’t necessarily scare him, but make him uncomfortable or highly on edge (often with good reason); think of someone locking the door of the room he’s in– especially when it’s just them two– or getting too close without warning. He often fears people he gets too close to will end up treating him like the Administrator did, which is why it takes a while for him to let Sebastian get any closer physically, despite warming up to him relatively fast.
A more uncommon fear he has is waking up one morning and having lost one of his senses or his ability to speak. Aside from the mental erosion that had become a growing issue among Union citizens, MOBIUS observed a similar kind of process in its agents who regularly jumped in and out of STEM for general maintenance and the like– presumably caused by the constant changes in brain activity, which more than often led to exactly what Nathan’s fear mentioned above describes. While he was among the agents who worked both in and outside of STEM on the Union environment, he was lucky enough to never suffer the consequences.
Lastly, he is deadly afraid of Anima. Despite not having shown any other symptom of succumbing to the STEM domination process, Nathan would have started seeing her around sometime before Lily vanished– presumably got her attention after some of his escapades in the secret labs in the Marrow– and he has not been able to sleep soundly in STEM ever since. While his fear of her mostly acts up when he’s in a STEM environment, it definitely translates over to the real world as well; during bad mental health episodes he has auditory hallucinations of her, and she makes regular appearances in his nightmares too.
Do they have any pet peeves?
When people are too passive. Nathan can’t stand it when he’s expected to initiate everything, from conversations to taking action, both in a work context (scheduling meetings, deploying new code) as well as personal context (scheduling to hang out, doing household chores). He also doesn’t like having to constantly ask people to do what they’re supposed to do– though this irritation more than often extends a little too far, to things he is expecting of people but never told them about.
Loud and unexpected noises, especially when done on purpose. Fireworks would be a great example of this, and they piss Nathan off no end. He gets snippy when people raise their voice at him for no reason, or when they keep banging their fist on a surface to get others’ attention.
Getting cut off in traffic. Nathan’s road rage is easily awakened and he can get a little drastic with it. His reflexes are fast enough to brake on time to avoid ending up in someone’s trunk, but will in that same breath speed right back up to crash into them on purpose as revenge for pissing him off.
What are three items you can find in their bedroom?
A large ring binder full of old code snippets, notes from various projects he worked on back at MOBIUS, and all his research ranging from neuroscience all the way to electrical engineering. Nathan is a little old-school in that regard– he’d much rather have all his research physically with him than save it all to some online storage platform and risk losing it like that.
A jigsaw puzzle, made entirely out of different pieces that he’s collected over the years (stolen from others’ puzzles, found in various locations, stolen directly from the store, etc). The full piece would total up to nearly 2000 pieces, though it is still missing a large chunk in the center; the result is an abstract piece containing mostly darker colors, though with various bursts of color scattered around like flowers in a field. Nathan isn’t the artistic type, but the project keeps him busy and he considers it a type of self-expression.
The knife he killed his parents with when he was sixteen years old. He’s not entirely sure why he kept it all those years– perhaps to remind himself what got him to where he is now, or because it’s the only thing he still has from that time of his life. Either way, it’s kept safe in the top drawer of his nightstand, easy enough to reach in case someone breaks into his apartment.
What do they notice first in a person?
First: State of mind, overall mood. How approachable do they look; can he afford to lower his guard or does he need to tread with caution, can he get close without worrying about a knife to the stomach or should he keep his distance? Nathan rarely shows immediate interest in someone’s overall personality, he would rather want to know which of their emotions he’s gonna have to deal with during their interaction(s).
Second: Body language. Ties in with the first thing mentioned– cautiously watching for threats, waiting to see if they make a move to touch (or harm) him so he can step out of their range. But it also extends a little further; Nathan tends to mimic others’ body language in conversation to make himself appear more approachable. If someone gestures a lot, he will do the same.
Third: Their smile, if relevant. Smiling is an eye-catching action to him, since he’s not one to quickly do so himself. It’s attractive to him; if someone smiles at him, you’ll be able to catch him staring.
Fourth: Scars, and other (skin) details. Nathan isn’t one to ask about them, of course– but they’ll catch his attention anyway, for a brief moment, since some of them already tell a story on their own even without words.
Fifth: Nervous tics, if relevant. By this point he’s been in conversation long enough to pick up on the little details– a slight thrill or shakiness to their voice, a thumb running over the side of their index finger, a nose twitch. In some cases it eases his mind, knowing the other person isn’t confident in their conversation either; in other cases it sets off alarms in his mind, and makes him wonder if there’s more going on than what they’re showing or telling him.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?
Physically: 7. While he doesn’t quite look like it, Nathan can take a hit or two. Most of his injuries happen in STEM– though with the way the technology works, the pain is very much real, and in some cases the scars are lasting even in the real world despite the damage having been sustained in STEM. To an extent, Nathan even enjoys the pain; it’s grounding for him, and keeps him from dissociating. When it gets too much to handle he simply drinks it away.
Mentally: 10. Nathan’s life has been a constant downward spiral; sent to a youth detention center after being wrongfully accused of killing his younger sister, and he was bullied relentlessly there, which continued until long after his release both at school and at home. At MOBIUS, he was required to work shifts in their HQ as well as in the Marrow, in the Union STEM environment– he was required to be mentally strong, or he would have already started suffering from mental erosion by long-term STEM exposure after his first few trips in. It takes a lot to break him (or so he likes to believe).
Emotionally: 4. Once you get past all the barriers, Nathan is pretty sensitive. He doesn’t deal well with rejection or misunderstanding, and is prone to assuming things are all his fault the second something goes wrong. It’s easy to upset him, though he won’t easily show; but the damage often takes a while to repair.
Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? (Or freeze or fawn?)
Fight, more than often; though it may appear as flight at first, since Nathan’s favored combat approach is stealth and he will always find cover before doing anything rash. In certain cases, however, he would be more likely to freeze; especially anything related to Anima or an enemy type like her, where fighting is out of the question, and he knows that a single wrong move can mean his demise.
It translates to non-combat situations too– often willing to talk to people but his initial response is to get defensive and close himself off, and if not given a moment to regain himself it can lead to either fighting or freezing; biting back with similar ferocity or shutting down altogether, unable to pick up his rational train of thought in the heat of the moment.
It really depends on the type of confrontation, though; taking his own state of mind and who else is involved into consideration. He’s known to fawn when a situation starts feeling a little too familiar– generally surrounding the abuse he suffered from partially his parents, but mostly the Administrator.
What animal represents them best?
Wolf; bordering on dog motif, but cautiously so, requiring infinite patience and understanding to win his trust. Nathan is loyal and guarding to those he cares about, but he values his freedom– his choices and decisions are his and his alone, and anyone who tries to take that away from him will suffer the necessary consequences.
How would a stranger likely describe them?
Curious, above anything else. Distant, reserved; surprisingly well-spoken, almost technical in his interactions with others as if the whole conversation is pre-programmed in his mind. Nathan isn’t necessarily cold towards others, but people would also not be quick to describe him as kind; though there is a certain warmth to the way he speaks and looks at people, despite the fact he very rarely smiles and isn’t one to quickly compliment someone else.
Appearance-wise, people tend to notice the white strands in his black hair first. They’re clustered at the front of his head, and match with the white hairs in his left eyebrow and the white eyelashes in the outer corner of his left eye. Nathan has very pale and rough skin, patchy but dark facial hair covering up most of his acne (/scarring); and part of the skin around his left eyebrow is lacking pigment, though it’s a little hard to see. He has very pale and bright blue eyes, which can be a little unnerving when staring at them for too long. Many people cannot maintain eye contact with him for very long.
Do they have any hobbies?
Nathan’s career is directly intertwined with his hobbies, and he enjoys working on code even long after cutting ties with MOBIUS. Software development, application optimization– his laptop runs on an operating system that he coded entirely himself, and whenever he has some time to spare he can be found tweaking and optimizing it and adding new features.
To no one’s surprise, he’s a gamer. Shooters, roguelikes, survival horror– he does not play all too often as his schedule often doesn’t allow for it, but he generally doesn’t have a hard time playing on higher difficulties and enjoys the challenge. Nathan has tried his hand at game design and development too, but stopped quickly when he found it too similar to developing the Union environment in STEM.
And last, surprisingly, would be writing. Journaling, some sort of attempt at poetry, or articles he would want to send in to some website or appropriate magazine but never does– a lot of Nathan’s writing is for his eyes alone, but it helps as an outlet, it keeps him grounded. For a while after leaving MOBIUS, he worked on writing tech manuals for various employers to earn some extra cash, which also ties directly into his interests.
#tag games#ask:nathan#using his full name in the banner to fill up all the empty space but it feels so funny like no one calls him that. no one calls him that#idk who's already done this i'm very out of the loop but hi =] until tumblr fixes itself my brain will only let me tag 5 people#in stuff like this so if you see this and i haven't tagged you. you are tagged now. i am tagging you in my mind palace#anyway hi =] i love nathan he is a little bit of a freak a little bit of a weirdo but that's part of his charm#possibly autistic but he's got a job so he doesn't really care about that right now#to me nathan is the same sort of oc flavor as vitali is but it's hard to explain. they both carry this energy around that makes them#fit very well in one specific environment if that makes sense?? vitali being a corpo boy nathan being lead STEM developer#and to then see them outside of that environment kind of makes them feel out of place in a very similar way as#how they themselves feel a little alienated from the rest of the world#taught to do what they do and when expected to function outside of that reality and mingle with the crowds#they don't really know what to do with themselves etc etc. does that make sense. i hope it does#either way. for nathan it really shows in how he struggles connecting with his friends and why he ends up#latching on to ruben so much once he allows him to move in with him. there's SO many parallels between them#and ruben is also a guy who grew up dedicating his life to one thing only and now he doesn't know what else there is for him#that's why they work so well together... both struggling to find purpose and connection. you know what i mean#ok i've said enough now but just know i could easily write an essay or two about this guy
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