#Just gotta wait a few more days
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I can't wait for when I can take him back home. It's been very quiet here without him. Not that I don't like silence, but this silence has just been a bit.. lonely.
#Just gotta wait a few more days#Just a few more#And then I can finally go pick him up#I miss him so much#just role(play) with it#jrwi rp#jerome jrwi#jrwi jerome#jrwi the suckening#in character#jrwi suckening
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i want to know everything that makes you happy! 💫🪐🎇
#the caption is aioi lyrics but posting the same thing with the same caption on 3 different socmed is embarasisng. saki save me#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#saki tenma#leo/need#i have more chibis Soon just theyre for halloween so u have to wait a few days. sniles so wide#AIOI IS SUCH A GOOD SONG AND NOBODY FUCKING TALKS ABOUT IT IDGAF. ITS SO GOOD. START CRYING WITH ME#like obviously the mv is gorgeous and stunning andni love the event and cards but im talking sbout the song. Its so good#So is purpose and nobody talks about it either wtf guys HAPPY PURPOSE TUESDAY!!!!!!#pjsk radio in 6 hours who else is about to#explode MEEE MEEEE I AMMMMM machico save me#nene focus ohantom of Theopera PLEASE PLEAS EPLEASEPLEASE HOW MUST I MANIFEST.#i always mean to draw the songs i want wxs to cover ever since i only did 2 of them Half a fucking year ago but i keep forgetting#and then other groups cover the songs and im like Wlel i cant draw it now .. (i can) (i will still draw emukasa cat food)#mmjs cover is SO GOOD i love mmj all of their covers r so good. wasnt crazy abt their early game ones but All of them for the last 2 years#have been Bonkers. amen. minoshizu duet come back to us please god.#soo glad wxs got reincarnation apple and got all the parts i envisioned for them EMU IMLOVE YOUUUU#ok i gotta go i need to hot glue more fabric onto my cosplay boots before work tomorrow. love and peaches
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It is Now
My birthday 😌
I am now 27 💃
#speculation nation#i'll update my bio later bcus i gotta b on my computer to not wreck my html#but the age old 'it's my birthday which means it's time to tick that age up one more year'#been doing this ever since i was 15 lol. and so it shall continue for the foreseeable future.#anyways im feeling better than i was earlier. my girlfriend came over & that helped a Lot#just chatted and cuddled as i waited for my birthday to hit.#it is now may 13th. my 27th birthday. and i have absolutely nothing written for ITNL chapter 19 😭#i'm working on getting there tho. making good progress in my reread. just having to be more thorough than expected.#i'll still make it my birthday chapter. just in a 'hey my birthday was a few days ago. if u guys wanna wish me happy birthday :]' way#anyways yea if anyone wants to be oh so niceys to me in my comments or asks i would enjoy that very much 🥺
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#i feel like with it turning to night in regions without rain the implication is that the rain lasts a night#but imo it lasts like a week and then there's a few more days where the water in flooded areas recedes#it just happens that after the flood recedes and everyone comes out of hibernation its the last day#of no rain until the next storm#so even if it's rainless for multiple days its still a very short window of time for most creatures to do anything bc they gotta wait for i#to actually be traversible. so they just adapt around that and wake up at just the right time on the last day#rain world
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2nd hearing test today and it looks normal thank FUCKKK. well ofc I'm still deaf, normal For Me
#actually idr if i mentioned it on here before i think i typed a rant and then closed the app before i hit post#but basically just a jumpscare my last audio tone graph came out Bad and they were like aw fuck youve lost a lot more hearing#which is WORRYING bc my deafness is sensorineural ie. from auditory nerve/brain damage not physical damage#so if it was suddenly getting worse well nothing they can rly do to figure out WHY its getting worse let alone try to fix it#but nah second test came out pretty much the same as usual. i think maybe bc i did the other one at the end of the day instead of early#morning maybe my auditory processing was just worse or smth it happens lol#well anyway they took fresh moulds so should be able to replace my 3 year old ones in a few weeks yayy#and im on the waiting list for new hearing aids with them too...and once i get them i can get an accessory to hook em to bluetooth#altho the nhs prolly wont cover it. but access to work should do if it comes to that 👍#my life is gonna get so much fucking easier when i can tune them into shit instead of switching them for super loud earphones#anyway gotta get my ass to work now blegh. always feels weird having my workday routine broken up#.diaries
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...
#hm. thinking about death and all that#bc the other day my mom texted me and my sisters to say shes added another cancer to her repertoire#shes had smooth muscle cancer for the past maybe 10 years but in the last year shes gotten a lot sicker#idk how long shes been stage 4 but shes got tumors in her liver. bladder. and maybe a kidney. and now shes also got like pre leukemia#she like deff got it from chemo treatment so now shes gotta try to go get a different treatment#but the type of mds she has is more likely to be treatment resistant and advance to acute myloid leukemia#so idk maybe itll go well. right now she still feels okay. but it just feels like the beginning of the end#so death has been on my mind the past few days#i feel mostly fine bc i think my medication is actually working. i just feel like im waiting for the other shoe to drop ya kno#and selfishly if she dies in the next 4 years itll b a real clusterfuck for my life#but i dunno her life has been super unfair and it sucks that she has to go thru all this#also when i was home last her hair looked insane bc she lost most of it but didnt shave what was left so she had new hair growing short#underneath and all i could think when i looked at her was: we r at the end of vanity. bc im a goblin#unrelated
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the way people just openly, openly, openly ask and beg for more content, more updates, more fics, more, more more is not a good look????
do you know how long it takes to make content? and it's consumed in 30 minutes, but people spend hours and days and weeks and months making something and it's consumed so quickly...and people beg and beg and beg but can't be assed to leave a reply under that artwork and be like "WOW! that's amazing, i love this"
fandom spaces are missing that sense of community because all they care about is getting content sooner...but encouraging others and uplifting them is how content happens naturally, not whining for it
#and i don't wanna pull the “i've been in fandom spaces before some of y'all were born” but i fucking have#and i've been in empty fandoms...where nothing gets made. maybe once every 4 months there's a new thing#there is new lego content every fucking day. there's new art and fic everyday#AND THE SHOW IS STILL GOING??? you just have to wait. season 4 came out LAST YEAR???#it hasn't been like 5 years or ANYTHING we're not starving for content...our show isn't cancelled it's...being made and worked on#and that takes time#but i've never seen this.. reach of “GIMMIE MORE” for something that we're gonna get. you just gotta wait a few extra months like holy shit#i get being excited! i'm excited too. there's nothing wrong with that#but whining and whining repeatedly is just something i don't understand
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How’s life? No pressure question ofc, but if you want to share please feel free to do so with this ask :3
Eh, it doesn't feel all that great right now. I'm tired and hungry a lot, but I just have to get a routine together. My sleep has been wonky, I've been waking up too early, but I feel fine then but it also feels like I can't rest completely- I have dreamless nights mostly. And I also just get annoyed a lot, but it feels better being around people I like.
#my father is upset today too cause I couldn't hang out with him#I talked to a social worker at school a few days ago just for check in and in my opinion I still feel bad even talking to her#it's been a rough week and I'm not sure what to do except deal with it and move on#I like to draw still#I dont want to get tired of it#I mean at least I'm doing productive things like laundry and showering#I'm gonna have spaghetti today that's a good thing#I'll have clean sheets for my bed that's good too#I got presents a day earlier and that's good#I like listing the positives#It kinda gives me ideas for writing#I really wanna eat all these positive things i mean the feeling it gives me in itself#I really love the good things I don't ever want to lose them#I'm actually gonna try to make a doll bunny today#I got dug up old fabrics in my room so I can experiment with something new#I'd list more good things but I'd sound kinda weird doing that in the tags#I should probably journal again but my mind blanks when I try but I'll figure it out#I mean poetry and fanfiction is always an outlet#I gotta practice that more often#There still a ways to go in life so obviously it'll change eventually it always does#And it's only one of many weeks so I can't be too doubtful#It can't always be the worst#Feeling the same feels awful#No matter the emotion it kinda turns numb if you feel it long enough#Days are always changing though since everybody is doing different things everyday all the time#Like most say 'it gets better' eventually#I guess I can wait for a good day#I have no choice sooo I'll let whatever happen#Well technically I can make it happen#I'll feel better when I made myself dinner and cleaned my bed and put away my laundry and put on fuzzy socks and go to sleep
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I made a big pot of soup that's been simmering all day. And very soon I'll be eating a bowl of it and watching space movies with the family
#[static]#I made chicken soup since I had a whole chicken in the freezer#next week I'm going to make a stew to use up the last couple of pounds of chuck I have in there as well#homemade chicken soup is the easiest thing in the world to make#you just need a whole chicken and some water and some vegetables (and herbs)#it takes all day to make but that's just because you gotta leave the chicken in the pot for a few hours for itself to make the broth#otherwise all you're doing is just throwing it all in a pot and waiting there's really nothing more to it
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Tagged by @turbulentpumpkin43. Thank you! Although I know I've got a lot of stuff I haven't finished, I'm doing my best to be prompt with new stuff.
rules: shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist and post the first ten tracks, then tag ten people!
(Emi note: I have come to understand that "on repeat" is a Spotify thing, so tonight the method is that I'm going to do my verrrrry best to remember stuff I've looped a lot recently and we're all going to super duper trust me that it's like, analogous.)
Thunder N' Rain - Hammer No More the Fingers (YouTube | Spotify)
Judgment in the Sixtieth Year ~ Fate of Sixty Years - ZUN (YouTube | Spotify)
To the Last Drop of Blood - Beast in Black (YouTube | Spotify)
Lay Down - Priestess (YouTube | Spotify)
Ride or Die - The Knocks (feat. Foster the People) (YouTube | Spotify)
The Purge March (Amane's Second Trial) - DECO*27, TeddyLoid (YouTube | Spotify)
Yin Yang Relationship - Wadatakeaki (YouTube)
Austerity - Katatonia (YouTube | Spotify)
I Really Want to Stay at Your House (Turbo eurobeat remix) - Rosa Walton (YouTube)
Dancing Samurai - Kanimiso-P (YouTube)
If interested, @camelliagwerm, @bearvanhelsing, and @mountainashfae?
#y'know I think I started this with other things I wanted to comment on but once I remembered the purge march#it's all that in my brain#earworm that one#so nary a sound can be heard a second time I'll crush your throat too :)#look no one follows me for Milgram takes but look. look. we gotta vote amane forgiven.#I need to see what happens when she's cut loose (she'll kill someone) this isn't about morality or anything I just wanna see it#I've made peace with it she can't be saved we just have to make her worse#can't wait for kotoko second trial later this fall. kotoko forgiven also for me. always. heart. women's wrongs.#genuinely this list gets funnier and funnier the more I look at it but yeah. I think it's accurate. my Range.#tag game#tbh dancing samurai is probably the most looped on the list the past few days. animal by deco*27 honorary mention. should probably be here.#also everyone please clap Internet Yamero isn't here for once!
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Can’t wait for my drivers license to arrive so I can be driving legally again for the first time in 1.5 years!
#for legal reasons this is a joke#SO THIS IS WHATS UP#as a youngin#a young adult one might say#I was starting to learn that some systems are bullshit when I’d previously been a pretty big rule-follower#my mom showing me how to navigate the healthcare system a bit/showing me how student loans legit have practices to confuse and fuck us over#also im really bad at getting things in on time (this is an important fact)#so when I see that my drivers license is abt to expire. I’m like ‘Oup gotta get that done!’ then promptly forget abt it#next time I remember it’s 3 months expired.#I check the date and realize that wait! in a year imma be turning 21 and just one yr after that Real ID’s will become mandatory (im p sure)#so I decide to push off renewing my license! I think that the whole process will b annoying asf bc I’ve only dealt with the DMV in-person#and it SUCKED and took forever. I’m thinking that if I renew my drivers license right on/after my 21st birthday I can knock out two birds#with one stone: I can get it as a Real ID and I can get an updated picture that’s flipped sideways so getting age-checked is faster#little do i know: it’s v much illegal to be driving around with an expired license!#I drive around for a year (over a year? I don’t remember when I first realized it was expired) j having fun#then one month b4 my 21st birthday I get into an abroad study thing and have to get my passport. which I realize is also expired. and#realize that to renew my passport I have to have a valid drivers license. At this point I also realize how fucked I could be if I get pulled#over with my expired license. so I check out the process for DL renewal and rejoice! it’s online!#AND THANK FUCK I CHECKED THEN. bc if I had waited LITERALLY two more days I would not have been able to renew online and would’ve had to go#in-person. and there were no in-person appointments until after my 21st. and I learned in this process abt the fines my state applies when u#renew a DL late and ALSO that u have to entirely retake the test/redo all the paperwork shit if it’s expired for too long. I would’ve had to#retake the test n everything if I’d gone past my bday. I was also in another state for college. idk how incoherent these ramblings are but#basically I would’ve been Ultra Fucked. anyways! got that figured out#renewed the DL and had it sent to my home. then da house floods and crime goes up in the neighborhood and my DL ends up either being lost#Or tossed (with other flood-damaged things) or stolen.#I don’t realize this for 4 months bc I am silly. also in college out-of-state. also other reasons.#finally got around to calling DMV and telling them that my DL never arrived… 6 months after I renewed it!#and they were v sweet and are resending me my DL for free. so in the next few weeks I shall finally b driving legally again#!!!! the end#mypost
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ITS FINALLY DONE BOYS!! i will be busy tomorrow but hopefully ill have time to post it. i refuse to reread it so it will not be proofread or edited i am so sorry if yall notice the dip in quality from my usual but it was that or never fuckin finish this chapter ever. i would post rn but its 2am and i really fuckin gotta sleep but just lettin yall know you have 13k words of wgoin to look forward to in the next few days at least everyone cheer!!!
#wouldve been longer bc i planned one more scene#maybe if i suddenly feel inspired to sit down and write it all in one sitting youll get it bc this chapter Would read a lot better w it#but if that doesnt happen within the next few days im just posting what ive got bc i refuse to let it be a full year between updates hsdkjg#yall will have SOMETHING god bless hskjdfgksjdfkjg#hopefully it doesnt feel too awkward or incomplete of an ending!! but its not like an ending ending its just a chapter ending#i just had a particular flow in mind yk like problem solution type beat but the solution gotta wait another chapter hsjkfgkjsd#anyway#what goes on in neverland#mischiefing time
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sunny we've been mutuals for SO long but if you got a free ticket to FL would you take the risk to come here... it was almost 90° today. and before you ask no I don't think id be very happy (aka warm) in Finland
FL is florida right? dear mutual, for you id brave even the florida wilds even tho i dont think id ever go there yoou know. for fun or comfort
#i actually like die and perish in warm weather and usually my comfort level is at like 25°c and 90 is apparently closer to 32°c#i would pass out and sweat myself to death for a mutual meetup#ive only ever been to los angeles in america cos we got relatives there#and fl does intimidate me but if i got a free ticket? of course id go#also mutual u gotta wait a few more months before coming here in the summer it does get closer to ur 90 degrees these days#right now the horrible loskapaska awful cold icy slush season is just starting to pass#asks#mutuals
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Feelin sad
#Ok I’m feeling like less than well which is probably influencing my emotional state — this too will pass & whatnot#but it’s rlly. Sad I guess. It’s just sad?#That like I am never the most important person to anyone else. Everyone else has like partners and best friends#& wow I’d love one of those but everyone else seems to have gotten to each other first#I cant expect them to change & i don’t want to like tear apart relationships or anything & i know people do care about me#but it’s just like. There’s always someone else they care abt more. Like i love my roommate and it loves me#but it also loves its long-distance girlfriend who it’s 90% of time on call with#my other two closest friends are in a relationship with each other & then like every other friend and person I care about who cares abt me#cares abt someone else more#I wish I could live with someone who cared about me and would ask me about my day and actually care about the response#or hold me when I was feeling down or even god forbid kiss me and tell me how much they cared about me#guess I’ve gotta wait a few more years for that tho
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im not dead im just phoneless
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when will my writing motivation return from the war 😭
#please i just wanna post the next chapter#or at the very least start a oneshot or do literally anything#ive been more tired than usual and i dont like that#im ALWAYS so so tired#sometimes YEAH its because im up til 3 or even 4#but ive also slept 9 hours. 12 hours. and yet ill STILL feel so tired#im too tired to do the things i want to do#and then i feel like ive just wasted my whole day :(((#how many times these past few weeks have i said im gonna get this chapter done huh? and it is NOT done#i love creating and writing but it takes so much energy sometimes :((( and i just dont have it :(((#i feel bad/down -> writing would help me feel better -> too tired/unmotivated to write -> doesnt write -> keeps feeling bad#rinse and repeat lmao#sometimes being nice to urself and waiting for the motivation doesnt work#sometimes u gotta sit at ur desk with a massive mug of coffee and say ''i will WRITE if its the last thing i fucking do''#screw quality its time to write WORDS#anyway. im making myself coffee rn. i will get through this dammit#summer post
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