#Just contemplating

[emilybahu]

Casually scrolling through 911/Buddie tumblr at 4:00 a.m. just contemplating Buck and Eddie’s relationship and wishing I could have a hug from Buck…

Should be sleeping, but oh well 🤷‍♀️

[highladyluck]

Why going to the father’s market weekly is a load-bearing pillar of my mental health:

Gets me out of the house and walking around

I love window-shopping and also actual shopping

Sometimes there are new and exciting foods

The things you can only get seasonally feel extra special

I get ideas for future meals which makes meal planning creative and interesting rather than a chore

As a regular I am known by sight to like half the vendors & so it feels like a community

People compliment my hair, outfit, and/or nails

It’s a routine and routines are soothing and joyous

[wasp-jar]

Just watched the last unicorn again..

Contemplating life now.

[acewithapaintbrush]

Something a little bit personal. It got longer than I thought so the rest under the cut.

So, even before Corona hit, I had done the (for me) unthinkable:

I had finished a novel.

I have started many ever since I was a snot nosed little brat, but had never actually finished one because I lost the drive or hated what I had written. This time I had an idea that I really wanted to see completed and I told myself that no matter how much I hated my own writing, I would finish it. So I plotted the whole story out and I powered through to get the first draft done. And I did. The first draft was, as expected, horrible (in my eyes) but after lots of rewriting and revising it got better and better and after many months it was finally at a point where I felt it was complete and tried to send it to publishers.

And no one wanted it.

And that was kinda a bummer, but also not surprising because publishers get thousands of stories daily. Why would they want my weird mix of modern fantasy + found family + crime story out of all of them?

I told myself that I would self publish, but I never got around to it because even though I liked the story that I had written (and friends and family told me they liked what they had read) I was never a 100 % happy with the wording. The sentences felt clunky to me. The emotions didn't feel nearly as powerful put into words as they were supposed to.

During the writing process I often felt like I couldn't articulate what I wanted to say in an impactful way. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, but put into German sentences they just lacked the bite, the punch.

I liked what I had written, but I wasn't really happy with it and the rejection letters didn't help any.

And so it collected dust on my shelf. My first finished novel and nothing to show for it because I didn't feel like it was worth getting it out there when I myself had so many grievances with it.

I sometimes look at it and think about the characters I created and that are so dear to me and hate myself for being so insecure about it all. For letting my dream of my own book become buried under a pile of self-doubt and apathy. I felt like a failure. It felt like I had given up an inch before the finish line but unable to pull myself up again.

Starting with fanfiction again and getting so many amazing comments about how I have a way with words, how I manage to convey emotions with my writing and lots other wonderful encouragements, I often found myself wishing I had written my novel in English.

It does sound crazy, but I've always been better with English than with my native tongue when it comes to writing. Not necessarily when it comes to grammar or spelling (as you'll probably have guessed by now) but when it comes to putting emotions and a story on paper, English has always been so much easier for me. I kid you not, while writing my novel I often pictured how I would write the sentence in English and then translated that into German. Totally bonkers, but true.

So yeah, me sitting here, wishing I could have written my book in English.

And then having a "Duh" moment because I can! No one is stopping me!

English is not a barrier in the german book market, it's actually a way to reach even more people.

And if you self publish, the language matters even less.

So, I just wanna give this a try.

A last hurray, a last rebellion in the wake of defeat. A last time breathing life into a beloved project that never left my mind.

I just wanna try again.

So why am I making a big ass post which actually can be summarized as: "I will translate my own book into another language."?

In part to keep myself accountable, to maybe help you keep me accountable ("Yo Ace, working on that novel? Don't slack now!")

But also in part because after "A place for Crows" is done, I won't start another big project like that until the novel thing is done. I WILL STILL WRITE FANFICTION, I WILL NEVER STOP WRITING FANFICTION! But don't expect another over 100k monster out of me too soon. Since my novel is actually done I think translating and revising won't take too long but I wanna do this right and concentrate on that.

As I said, I won't stop writing fanfiction, making art and diy projects and interacting here and with my beloved fandoms, so I really hope you'll stick around for my dazzling personality and stories.

Thank you for your attention.

[filthycagedsoul]

am i really gonna write one-shot scenes taking place during gotham knights featuring my oc with the batfamily?? you damn right i am!!

but question is: will anyone read it????

[embodiedinscribed]

Companies use AI for art, photography, illustration, animation and writing because it's cheaper than human, consequences be damned. Another example of capitalism destroying art and impoverishing both art and culture.

[syzaa]

Life As It Is

through the high tides and the low tides......

“I needed to be somewhere different. Maybe I needed to be someone different too.”

Contemplating life

How often do we think if only we made a different choice at that specific moment, life could’ve have taken another direction altogether.

We could’ve been doing something we love or hate for a long time until the point we realize if it’s what we always aspired to do. I find myself in such situations almost on a regular basis. Just like eating, sleeping, attending lectures, labs and doing all the chores in between, I like to contemplate life.

Here is a record, a glimpse, an insight of calculated and uncalculated thoughts, ideas whilst navigating a way through the map of mind & soul.

It’s the digital diary era, I guess.

[agonius]

every day i live with the knowledge of the sword of truth series

[thevastnessof]

obsessed with villains who you just KNOW are aware deep down in their heart that they've done something unforgivable, but the only way to never admit that or face the guilt is to keep doing it over and over again until they don't feel guilty about that first time anymore

[tallsuperstar]

Y'know, HOW Plumeria became a werewolf isn't actually that spoiler-heavy...

[vixnovacoda]

To love is an act of consumption.

I want to be consumed.

[swamp-chicken]

mountain man etho confirmed

[wombywoo]

civvies

[oscarlovesthesea]

ok but he was fully flirting here. I think it's so funny that Charles was like "idk if I'm in love with you but we have all eternity to figure it out" and then literally an episode later he was like "welp time to start thinking about this!" and immediately started openly flirting with Edwin. you go bisexual king

[broh3m3]

We got a real jam going down

[drandymancini]

That look you do to check if it’s all perfectly done and sign off on your work #work #workwelldone #jobcomplete #satisfying #perfection #dental #dentistry #pediatricdentistry #botox #spa #beauty #mentalhealth #qualidadedevida