#Judgement more than the question of trust itself.

[bonefall]

The more I consider the "Smoky gets Frostpaw sterilized against her will" thing, the more I dislike it even on a thematic level...

This book seems to be trying to put Frostpaw through an arc of learning to trust people. Riverstar magically appears in her dreams to send her to the Park Cats who are meant to teach her this lesson, but... starting and resolving that arc more than halfway through the book was sloppy, and a waste.

Instead of Smoky forcing medical treatment on her in spite of how she tells him point blank "please no," SHE should have called for the human.

A creature that the Clan cats have never trusted, that they have great reason to fear. Caught between dying with her pride like a good warrior and taking a risk on the kindness of an unknowable beast, in spite of all the betrayal, she chooses the chance.

Play it like this; Make it so the reason she becomes chosen by Riverstar at all is because he SEES this glimmer of potential within her, because of this very choice.

Instead of that bizarre opening chapter where he seems to have magically gifted her some kind of spiritual connection as a plot device, INSTEAD make it that they were sadly overseeing the end of her life. That this was her destiny, to die as a young, proud warrior apprentice. To trust no cat, as her mother told her.

But instead, she tricks the wording of the self-fulfilling prophecy Curlfeather told her. It said nothing about trusting a human!

THEN follow it up with teaching her how to trust cats again. But make the road down this character arc be something she truly initiated, instead of the weird bullshit they did with her being mad at Smoky for violating her consent while also exonerating him for "Doing The Right Thing :)"

[ryin-silverfish]

Heart and Mind: An Analysis of Tripitaka

I've been wanting to write this since…since I came across some good ol' Tripitaka discourse in the LMK fandom ages ago. Couldn't remember the specifics, but as y'all probably know, it falls under the "Is him an abusive master" and people's strongly worded retort to that question.

On one hand, I dislike the "abusive" take because so often, it is an excuse to reduce a character to an 2D caricature for cheap angst purposes, and both JTTW and its historical context deserve more nuances than that.

On the other hand, I don't agree with some of the defenses either——that Tripitaka is Kind and Wise and The Virtuous Monk, Actually, and people who said otherwise just had their views colored by adaptations, or were ignorant westerners misreading the book.

Because trust me, Chinese readers absolutely have gripes with Tripitaka too, and sass him mercilessly.

We may have a better idea of the historical context, namely, the common usage and acceptance of corporal punishments, but quite a few of us don't think he's a good Buddhist either.

Instead, I'd like to focus on his allegorical role, and how it ultimately forms the basis for my interpretation of his character.

It is commonly acknowledged that each pilgrim represent an aspect of the enlightenment seeker: Monkey is the Mind, Dragon Horse the Will, Pigsy the Desire, Sandy the Determination/Ideation.

Tripitaka is either the enlightenment seeker as a human, or the Heart, the Compassion.

But how can someone represent Compassion when his behaviors don't look all that compassionate, when he seems to care more about what a good Buddhist looks like on paper than in spirit?

How can a compassionate man punish his disciple with a migraine spell and disown him twice, be okay with some violence but not others?

Well, to answer that question, I feel like you have to look at Tripitaka in conjunction with SWK, and what the monkey represents. He is literally the Mind Monkey, the boundless potential of human intellect, and that, by itself, is neutral.

In the word of one of the best poems in JTTW:

"He could be good; he could be bad; present good and evil he could do at will. He'd be an immortal, a Buddha, if he's good; wickedness would cloak him with hair and horn."

To put it simply, SWK is one's wits, one's problem-solving skills, the ability to discern good and evil on a cognitive level.

Whenever Tripitaka, the Compassion, is deceived, it falls to the Mind to see the opponents as they are, and take action to protect the human from harm.

But just as blind compassion without judgement can be exploited by evil, the reverse is true for a mind without compassion, driven solely by their own ambition and whims and practical knowledge.

The Mind knows that robbery is a crime, so these robbers deserve death, but has no idea how disturbing it is for a regular guy to witness six people being brutally murdered in front of him.

The Mind knows that abandoning your wife and family to become a bandit is shameful and unfilial, but cannot comprehend why the bandit's father may not want his son killed for these offenses.

The Mind knows right and wrong, but has trouble seeing the human behind those acts, and why one should care in the first place.

And to see what the Mind looks like without any of Compassion's restraint, one needs to look no further than SWK's "Second Mind", the Six-eared Macaque.

Just like how "Heart" sounds like a lame power for a character, Compassion isn't flashy, nor as useful in a strictly ultilitarian sense. In fact, having compassion makes you vulnerable. It hurts. And unscrupulous people will absolutely use it against you.

So why hold onto your weakness and wallow in it? The world doesn't need another sanctimonious wuss, it needs strong, clever people making hard sacrifices, ruthless, logical decisions! Tough up! Stop caring, and you'll never be hurt again!

Much like a certain crowd who think basic human decency is somehow political propaganda, perhaps, when SEM struck Tripitaka, he was trying to do the same thing.

Kill the embodiment of compassion, the sniveling, useless, fragile human that keeps holding SWK back. Replace him as the true Mind, the one strong enough to break all bonds and seize glory with his own two hands.

But without compassion, without humanity, one is no longer a whole person, and cannot reach enlightenment. In fact, just like how Buddha would only give the True Scripture to Tripitaka, if you are not brave enough to make yourself vulnerable, to suffer and feel other's suffering, you will never transcend it.

At best, you can have some pale imitations of the parts you have willingly shut out from yourself.

And that's what SEM does. He thought he could do it on his own, singlehandedly replace SWK and reap the benefits of enlightenment, but he is no Monkey Awakened to Emptiness.

He is just empty; cut off desires because it is base, cut off determined ideation because it is foolish, cut off compassion because it is weak, cut off the altruism and curiosity and creativity from the mind, and you are left with a grand total of NOTHING.

A shadow of a self, desperately clinging onto external validation and stolen stories, reading the pilgrim's travel paperwork out loud as if that would actually make the journey his.

Tripitaka needs to trust SWK and learn from him, because compassion, much like good intention, doesn't solve problems on its own, and mercy is not the same as enabling harm.

SWK needs his master's guidance, because even at his most selfish and impulsive, he cares, and only by extending that care to others and accepting the vulnerability that comes with it can he truly mature and become awakened to the ultimate truth.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

One last bit of ramble: I feel like there is something to be said about Tripitaka's tendency to trust Pigsy, and how the pursuit of enlightenment is often derailed by worldly desires.

Unlike the demons they encountered, however, Pigsy is not the personification of mental obstacles that must be destroyed, because you cannot destroy bodily needs, nor the very human tendencies to slack off and avoid trouble.

You should stop listening to its advice, sure. Poke fun at it, absolutely. But what Pigsy represents is part of the human condition, just like every other pilgrim, and also something one must make peace with.

[stayinhellevator]

Intersection

"And now you're just a page torn from the story I'm living"

Synopsis: A twisted turn of events lead you to question everything you've ever known of Mingyu.

Pairing: Mingyu x fem!Reader

Genre: Soulmate AU/Angst/Betrayal

Word Count: 2723

Warnings: Cuss words, non-graphic description of s3x, probably bad writing, cheating

Playlist: Dynasty ~Miia

<Prev> <Masterlist> <Next>

All your life, the concept of soulmates was romanticised and worshipped. You had friends who were happily bonded, co-workers who found peace in their mates, hell even your parents were truly a match made in heaven; their relationship was such an inspiration for you that it made you crave that kind of intimacy and understanding with yours. The way they understood each other with just a knowing look made you respect their bond. You wanted what they had.

And you got it and more when you found Mingyu through some mutual friends and discovered that you two were soulmates. You were over the moon to have found a man so gorgeous inside out. You were scared that he was only a glittery sham but he swept you right off your feet.

There was not a day that passed by that Mingyu failed to make your life seem like a fairy tale. Sure you had your share of arguments and disagreements but in the end, you two ended up right back in each other's arms, where you two truly belonged. He made your heart race every single moment and there was no place that you'd rather be if not beside Mingyu.

There's nothing else you could possibly want.

Or maybe there is.

You watched the way Seokmin and his soulmate naturally gravitated towards each other, practically glowing with a giddy aura around them and you couldn't wait for the day when Mingyu and you were standing on the altar, exchanging vows of your own, just like them.

And you knew it would be equally, if not more, magical the day that you do, for your life with Mingyu was like a fruitful reward for all the sufferings of your past lives. It had to be because there's no way you'd be blessed with a partner like Mingyu, who seemed to love you more than life itself.

Your wandering eyes fell on another pair that you recognised and your heart filled with sympathy for them. Mingyu once shared Seungcheol's dilemma with you and you remember quickly sending a quick prayer to whatever God blessed you because you couldn't imagine being bondless and then finding love in someone who's meant for someone else, alone your own sibling. Thank God you had Mingyu who loved and accepted you without any inhibitions.

As if feeling your gaze on them, his lover met your eyes and you two exchanged a perceptive smile, completely aware of each other's expressions and feelings. You truly wished for them to find happiness, they were good people or at least from what Mingyu told you and you trusted him. He had known Seungcheol through work  before you two had even met, so obviously he knew better than you when it came to his friends and you completely trusted his judgement.

Speaking of which, it had been nearly half an hour since Mingyu disappeared with some colleagues for a few drinks. God you hope he didn't get drunk, he was already tipsy before he left. You turned down towards the hallway, aware that you need to find Mingyu soon for he becomes a real piece of work when drunk, refusing to part even an inch from you, sulking if you don't give into his bizarre wishes.

All of a sudden, a strenuous sensation gripped your chest, as if someone was squeezing your heart and then mangled it. It made you lean against the wall and rub your chest, hoping to soothe the discomfort. A drop of blood fell on your knuckle, making you realise that you had a nosebleed too.

What the hell was this? You had never felt something like this before. Was it something that you ate? Or drink? But you didn't drink too much. Oh God! What if something happened to Mingyu? Was he okay? You had several stories of a soulbond being affected if a bonded mate is injured or sick.

Gosh! You needed to find him without any delay.

You spotted a guest room right across you, the door ajar and seemingly vacant so you decided to use the washroom to clean off the blood of your face and clothes only to halt at the threshold, unable to process the sight that you witnessed.

A man that had a striking resemblance to Mingyu was all over a woman; their lips locked in a frenzy, their hands wandering to forbidden places and their hips conjoined and moving in short, quick thrusts.

The man moved his kisses down the woman's neck; the woman you knew all too well as Mingyu's ex-girlfriend and colleague, who though mutually broke up, was always having eyes for your soulmate, often throwing a few flirty remarks here and there, uncaring about your presence and soon enough you had learnt to ignore her because Mingyu hadn't given you any reason to not trust him, had he? He loved you and only you so why should you even bother?

It couldn't be your Mingyu, no, you were probably hallucinating. Mingyu would never cheat on you, he cannot even think of hurting you like that even in his wildest dreams.

The trickling tears down your cheeks angered you. Why were you even crying over a misunderstanding? You harshly wiped your cheeks, almost walking out when she moaned out his name, loud and clear, sealing the fated doom of your soul bond and the remainder of your life with it.

"Gyu!"

You helplessly watch as he groaned in what you know for sure, ecstasy as his vigour only fueled further. You wanted to look away but you couldn't, hoping this nightmare would end and you'd wake up back in the safety of your bedroom in Mingyu's arms. You had hoped that her voice calling out a name that only you did would snap him out of whatever trance he seemed to be in and he'd realise that this wasn't you but some other woman. But it didn't.

You could feel it creeping up in you, the anger, an intense, uncontrollable hateful rage the longer you watched them and before your brain could even process, your hands had already picked up the vase on the hallway table and hurled it towards those cheating bastards, apathetic of the force inflicting any serious injury. In fact, you wanted it to hurt, you wanted them to bleed just as much as your heart was.

No, you wouldn't be the only one to end up hurting tonight.

You watched as the two flinched at the sudden attack as the vase bumped onto Mingyu's head with a thud, that was sure to bruise, before bouncing off to his cheating accomplice, hitting her right in the face, making her cry out in agony.

Good! Die in pain and burn in hell.

"I hope you had a good fuck Kim Mingyu because this is the last time you feel anything."

You watched how Mingyu's face contacted in rage as he turned to face the intruder only to turn pale in horror as he realised you saw him being unfaithful to you. He jumped off the bed, fumbling over his clothes and putting them on haphazardly, increasing your disgust and fury. You swear you wanted to kill him and then yourself, such was your temper that was building up and consuming you. You dug your nails in your knuckles, wishing it'd distract you for a moment.

"Baby, I swear it's not like that. I ..I don't even know how I ended up here... It just happened...."

You wanted to believe him and you would have disillusioned yourself into thinking he made a drunken mistake, such was your love for him, if he wasn't sober. And that alone shattered your heart into further tiny irreplaceable bits. What excuse would you make up in your head to put your brain into a delusion that this never happened and that your Mingyu was in love with you. Only you.

"I can't believe you Mingyu. Why?"

You watched Mingyu visibly shrink as your exhausted question echoed in the silence of the room.

"I ..I don't know baby..I ..I have no excuses for this.... I'm so sorry baby.... Love...I will make it up to you I swear...."

The more he spoke, the more you wanted to hurt him. How dare he even have the audacity? How would he make it up to you? What would he make up when nothing is left to be repaired?

You watched as he tried to hold your shaking hands in his only for you to violently jerk his hold off you.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me with your disgusting hands."

You appalled scream froze him to his place as tears cascaded down his face as the horrifying effect of his infidelity finally settled inside him. His touch, his face, his whole fucking existence nauseated you so much you couldn't stand to even look at him any longer than you already have.

You ran past the guests outside the venue, quickly texting your brother to come and pick you up because you knew your body was slowly giving up and in no time, you'd shut down.

A hand pulled you back around through the elbow as you realised Mingyu had chased you and pulled you to his chest, holding you by the cheeks.

"It wasn't meant to go this far, I swear baby, we were just catching up by the bar and the next thing I knew we were in bed together. It doesn't mean anything to me. She doesn't mean anything to me. It's you love I swear. Please don't go. I don't want to lose you."

"For someone who doesn't want to lose me, you don't act like you want to keep me."

His face portrayed his helplessness as he sobbed in disbelief which made you scoff in disdain. Did he really think his pathetic excuse of a reason was enough for you to stay and torment yourself for the rest of your life?

"This was a huge mistake love and it'll never happen again. I promise you."

You pushed him off you, making him tumble a few steps back.

"Damn right it won't because I won't stay around to find out if it does."

You only managed to take a few steps ahead when he ran around you to block your way. AGAIN!

"Baby please don't leave me. You don't understand. I'll die without you."

The wrath that was bubbling up within you every single second finally erupted at his audacious words. How dare he play the victim? You landed an impactful punch on his chest, sending him a few steps away from yourself, wanting to have an outlet was the ever increasing rage inside you.

"I don't understand? YOU don't understand Mingyu how heartbroken it is to have your trust broken by the one person you blindly put your faith in. YOU don't understand how humiliated I feel as I'm unable to face my own thoughts because I still can't process you could ever cheat on me in your friend's wedding venue. YOU don't understand how angry I feel at myself for still hoping you'd have a valid enough excuse for me to take your unfaithful ass back. YOU don't understand that all I see when I look at you now is not the countless good memories of us but you kissing and touching another woman the way you should've only done to me."

You could hear your voice dampening with every sentence as the weight of those vulnerable words settled between you two in the hollow night as sobs wrecked your fatigued body. Where did it all go wrong?

"Where did I lack Mingyu? What was it that I couldn't give to you? Why couldn't you tell me if I didn't satisfy you enough? What could I have done differently for you to not disgrace our bond like this?"

All your rage boiled down to cries as hopelessness washed all over your senses. You had endlessly and limitlessly given yourself to him and you still weren't enough? All those cherished moments between you two didn't mean anything to him? Your sacred bond reduced and succumbed to a one night stand. Was this your worth?

"It wasn't you baby. You are everything to me. There's nothing wrong with you. It's me...I'm stupid and selfish and undeserving of a goddess like you. Please, please forgive me love. I'd do anything to gain your forgiveness. Please!"

You watched as he fell down to his knees in front of you but even the pitiful sight of him tearfully begging you couldn't erase the sight of him buried inside her; the one that made you feel like an outsider in your own relationship.

"There's nothing you could do to mend us back Mingyu. We're done."

Even as you cried, you could slowly feel the emotions inside you hollowing into nothingness, an apathy was starting to wrap around your brain, numbing your thoughts.

"No no no this can't be the end of us. Not like this baby....we...we are soulmates.. We're meant to be... We can't be without one another.... Please...I love you...I love you so much....."

His confession should've thawed your heart, broken the barriers of numbness that your brain was building, reminded you of the kisses you shared when you first confessed your love for each other and warmed your heart, instead it made you want to throw up in your mouth for these words didn't mean anything to you anymore.

"But not enough to refrain from jumping into bed with every other woman that you see."

His shoulders slumped with defeat as he realised he was fighting a losing battle because your mind was slowly pushing itself into nothingness. There really was no turning back.

You willed yourself to walk away from him and turned round the next corner, right in time to empty out the contents in your guts, till you were left dry heaving and sobbing. You wanted to control yourself till you were safely home, where no one can find you and embarrass you but it was too much. Everything was too much. Your head was throbbing, your chest was constructing, your muscles ached, your brain had stopped working and your thoughts were a jumbled mess. Too much! Someone needed to stop all this.

Someone held your hair up simultaneously rubbing your back, trying to provide you some comfort. Gosh you didn't want anyone to see like this, all vulnerable and pathetic, only to find it was your sibling.

"Johnny!"

Your brother brought you to his chest, making your head slump in weariness and you felt his arms tighten around you securely.

"Ssh! I'm here.

You closed your eyes, hoping to muster as much strength as your brother could provide.

"It's all over John. I'm done."

You were entranced in the shimmering gold sparkle that was Kim Mingyu that you forgot that in the end, all glitter turned into nothing but dust. You had foolishly wanted to bask in the shimmer but your ignorance only left you in the midst of the dusty pile of the dazzle that was once your life.

In honour of all the good times that you had with Mingyu, you couldn't say you wished to turn back time to change everything because selfishly, you wanted to turn back time and pause it when you were contentedly lying in Mingyu's arms, listening to him ranting passionately about his favourite football team on a rainy night.

You had been loved but more importantly, you had been in love and that was something you cherished. You only prayed to whatever God that heard you, that if Mingyu is who you're meant to find in every life, then you wanted to be with him on happier terms; and not to love him for a while and then live on without him. And if all you two are is soulmates in betrayal, then you could only hope, you didn't love him so deep that he takes everything from you and you're left with nothing but emptiness.

You wanted to meet him on a path which allowed you both to walk together, watching all sunsets for the rest of your lives.

That's all you want; till then you're content to be just a page of his story.

©stayinhellevator2024: Please don't repost, copy or translate my work on any platform.

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[inkpot909]

First Love Headcanons: Pannacotta Fugo x Reader

↳ Gender neutral reader.

A/n: This was so much fun to write! Fugo is such an interesting character to write for that I couldn’t help but fuss over this one for a good while. I hope y’all enjoy it as well. <3

Warning(s): None.

It started out innocently enough, as Fugo is not the type to fall in love overnight.

Curiosity itself is a perfectly normal reaction to have regarding a new member of Bucciarati’s team. Fugo is no exception to this, as he no doubt harbored questions about you when you initially joined.

That said, his approach is different compared to the others on the team. If you join after Mista, Narancia, and Abbacchio, they do just fine on their own intimating you at the very start.

Past the initial meeting, where some lighthearted hazing is likely to occur from everyone, Fugo sees no reason to contribute to any form of poking and prodding outside of missions. You already have to get used to so many strong personalities at once, after all.

He’s been with Bucciarati since the formation of his team, so he’s quite accustomed to getting used to someone new being around. Hell, if he wasn’t so closed off, he would’ve thought to feel bad for you.

Due to the walls he’s long put up, he prefers to remain observant from afar for a good while. Regardless of when you enter the picture, he’s going to keep his distance.

He’s not as good at reading people as someone like Giorno, but he trusts what he can decipher.

This will likely result in Fugo making some assumptions about you prior to the two of you finding equal footing. Whether or not his judgements turn out correct is unknown to you, as he doesn’t care share them with you to begin with.

This does lead to some aspects of your personality to be surprising to him. Nothing bad, just little details about you that he wasn’t expecting.

Your hobbies may be what’s shocking, or perhaps the type of media you prefer to consume. Little aspects of life and personality that unfold because of how much time the team spends together. The discovery of such things is what likely makes him feel more inclined to get to know you better.

Little by little, Fugo will eventually start including you in conversations and vise versa. Especially when Narancia and Mista are involved, he begins to turn to you it in an attempt to keep himself sane:

Mista and Narancia’s relentless chatter is still intimating.

How can you even approach a guy like Mista? He’s more than proven himself to be the type that says anything and everything that pops into his brain. Although he is certainly the relaxed type, his words can be quite vicious if he’s in the mood to tease and you just so happen to be in his line of sight. Sit him next to a full-time enabler like Narancia, and the two can go off on pretty much any topic imaginable.

Their conversations at the dinner table are wild, spontaneous, and still- even after more than a month of knowing them -manage to catch you off guard. Sometimes it’s thought-provoking and other times… not so much.

Which leads to their current conversation, one you sincerely wish wouldn’t take place while you’re trying to eat.

“I’m just saying-“ Mista argues, waving his fork in the air, “If it promotes a soothing and relaxing environment within the human body, I don’t see why it’s so unbelievable that it could also theoretically resonate with your bowels as well.”

“Yeah, maybe-“ Narancia rolls his eyes, “But that doesn’t mean it’s gonna make you crap your freaking pants! That’s ridiculous.”

“It’s not ridiculous; it’s psychology.” Mista retorts, raising a brow. His smug expression does nothing to convince you, or a bewildered Fugo sitting next to you, his knowledge on the subject. But it is enough to grind Narancia’s gears, which ultimately, is probably the key to his actual intent.

Still… you think, staring at your food with a pinched nose. It’s the brown noise. They’re actually trying to prove or disprove the psychological effects of the brown noise. Why on earth… no, how on earth can either of them discuss such a thing with a straight face?

“What kind of messed up psychoglogy-“

“Psychology,” Fugo cuts in with a sigh.

“-Yeah, whatever,” Narancia dismisses with a wave of his hand, “What kind of messed up psycho-logically are you reading up on?”

Grunting in frustration, Fugo drops his forehead onto the table with an exaggerated thud. Mista and Narancia continue to argue amongst the two of them, but you instead direct your attention to the grumbling blonde.

“Umm… Fugo?” you ask, hesitant to even address him.

He raises his head from the table, looking at you with desperation in his dark violet eyes. “Please don’t tell me you think this is worth discussing.”

You raise both your hands in the air. “Are you kidding? I just wanted to eat, but apparently that’s unheard of here.”

Sighing once more, he runs his hand through his hair. His hand stops at his neck and rubs the back of it. “Trust me, I don’t get them either,” he shakes his head, hand finally returning to his lap, “I’m glad you don’t encourage this nonsense, though.”

You let out a chuckle, a little surprised. Sure, you’ve spoken with Fugo before, but hardly ever this casually. The notion brings a tiny smile to your face. “I can’t believe you’d ever think I would,” you reply lightheartedly.

“Well, hanging around these two must be making me lose critical thinking skills… my apologies,” he replies. Despite his words, a smile crawls it’s way onto his face too.

Casual conversations held between the two of you opens the door to the beginning of a genuine friendship.

Unlike Abbacchio, Fugo knows better than to be contrarian to everything you say and do just because you’re new. Considering his intellect, he has always done his best to be objective. And there eventually comes a point where, upon reflection, he figures that you’re alright.

By then, off missions, he started asking you- quite bluntly -questions about yourself.

Although forward, he won’t overwhelm you all at once. From time to time, you might catch him staring at you thoughtfully out the corner of your eye (Do not bring this up to him; he will deny it to his grave). A round of questions often followed his stares.

And it’s when he feels he really knows you on a personal level that he’s able to truly relax around you.

He started greeting you with the same kindness and courtesy he offers the others. He gave you encouragement throughout both your private and work life… a lot of it. Turning to you during conversations comes to be as natural as it is for anyone else on the team.

Fugo’s caring side may be blocked off behind walls he keeps up for the sake of self preservation and the result of an unhappy childhood, but once you’re allowed to peek beyond them, his sweetness really knows no limit.

And it’s through his behavior that developing feelings start to shine through.

Fugo’s not going to at all realize his feelings toward you until the truth is smacking him across the face. But his actions show a certain kind of fondness before he himself recognizes anything.

His expressed love languages are most commonly words of affirmation and acts of service. This is very much so the case in the early stages of him developing feelings.

The words of affirmation were never explicitly affectionate, but always careful and supportive.

Fugo beats himself up over his temper often, so when he can think straight, he’s using his mind to its full extent. In other words, because he’s easily blinded by rage, he chooses his words very carefully whenever he can.

So after a particularly rough mission, he may get upset at one point or another. During the quiet moments after the fact, when adrenaline isn’t flowing any longer, he always gives credit where credit is due. He’ll gently comment on your work throughout the job, expressing he thought you did good with examples to boot.

Or it can be something as simple as offering you a job well done after making yourself a dinner.

From always holding his tongue unless he disagreed with your actions or input, to showering you with praise constantly. It comes to him so naturally he doesn’t even think twice.

And soon, even others in the group start to take notice:

“I don’t wanna do this right now… Fugo’s not even here yet, can’t I just wait?” Narancia whines.

His head is resting on top of an open notebook, his right cheek squished against crumpled paper. Pencil lead is smushed on his cheek, but pointing out he’s likely ruining his work would be a waste of time.

Resting your elbows on the table, you give Narancia a playful smile. “He’s supposed to get here with Abbacchio in thirty minutes. You know you should’ve gotten more done by now…”

Narancia let out an obnoxious groan, rolling his head onto his opposite cheek so he no longer has to look you in the eye.

“Narancia…” you sigh, smile falling. “I’m sorry if it seems harsh, but Fugo asked me to make sure you practiced on his recent lesson. He and Abbacchio are out doing the heavy lifting for the team right now, so it’s the least I can do.”

Narancia replies, but mutters it out so quietly you don’t pick up on his words.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” he says at a volume you can hear, half bitter and half teasing.

“Narancia-“

“I said,” he lifts his head from the table, “You think like that ‘cause he’s always so nice to you.”

“What?” you blurt, heart skipping a beat.

“He compliments you all the time,” he chuckles. The smugness in his tone only grows, and as he continues, heat rushes to your cheeks. “‘Oh, Y/n, you did such a good job today, Y/n.’ And, ‘Oh, Y/n, you’re so very smart why don’t you help out Narancia?’ And who could forget, ‘Oh, Y/n, you look very beautiful today. Why don’t you kiss me on my big fat mouth?’”

“H-He doesn’t say that!” you exclaim, absentmindedly pulling at your fingertips underneath the safety of the tablecloth.

“You gotta know what I mean, though!” he insists. Pausing in order to read your expression, another laugh escapes him. “What? You haven’t noticed?”

“Umm, well.” Your lips pucker out, unsure if you should feel intrigued or embarrassed. After a short pause, you continue, “Fugo compliments everyone; including you… you know? He believes you can do this. He wouldn’t put care into teaching you if he didn’t. And I’ve seen what you’ve accomplished myself too. I certainly know you can get this.”

“You’re changing the subject,” he points out.

“And that not what you’re trying to do?” you ask, gesturing towards his notebook.

Narancia blinks dumbly, bewildered by your response. For a moment, you become pleased with yourself. Seemingly, you’d backed him into a corner and couldn’t help but be a little proud of yourself for it.

“You really don’t know…” he utters, eyes suddenly brightening.

Wait, what? you think, confidence quickly dwindling.

A fit of laughter erupts from him, kicking his feet in the limited space underneath the table. The movement halts your hands. His chair creaks and squeaks in distress, quickly quieting down when he once again slams both feet back on the floor.

He eagerly hunches over his notebook, eyes wide. Snatching up his pencil, he finally begins scribbling on the paper once more.

You’re left staring at him in awe. “What…? So now… you’re good then? You’re just… you’re just going to continue your work?”

Narancia lets out another laugh. “Ha! Well, the sooner I finish, the sooner I can tell Mista about this. I can’t believe you’re so clueless!”

Narancia is calling you clueless… yikes.

The confusion you may have felt that afternoon is nothing compared to Fugo’s reeling mind when the others started pointing things out and teasing him over his supposed affection.

Fugo doesn’t remember when it started, but they didn’t wait long after noticing his feelings to begin teasing him over them.

He would cross his arms, turning away with an annoyed expression while a pool of denials flood from his mouth. With a reaction like that, Narancia and Mista especially enjoyed pushing his buttons on the subject.

Abbacchio would partake in teasing as well in his own little way. Namely, he began making straight-faced comments and turning smug the moment Fugo’s voice raises. Bucciarati mostly keeps quiet on the matter, but no one could miss the fond grin he wears when the others get on his case.

Once, Giorno called you Fugo’s boyfriend/girlfriend. A bashed remote and a broken plate later, Fugo is shocked to learn Giorno wasn’t picking on him and genuinely thought the two of you were together.

The guy must be either super egotistical or is just not at all used to being wrong about this kind of thing, Fugo distinctly thought.

But of course he’s wrong about this! Everyone’s comments made no sense to him at all! There’s no way he felt that much towards you. That kind of thing… is not for him. He may take note when someone’s attractive, but he’s never really thought too seriously about romantic relationships. Just because you’re attractive, doesn’t mean-

Nope… nope, nope, nope, nope. He’s not touching that one with a ten foot pole. No way.

But by the next time he’s helping you with dishes the concept pops into his brain. When he’s dotting on you after a mission it’s plaguing his mind. And he can’t help but notice how meticulous he is when retrieving your additions to the group’s grocery list.

Shit.

Fugo doesn’t know what to think. He really… does go out of his way for you at times. Well, okay, all the time. Looking back, he finds some of his actions to be a little embarrassing. And the more the notion is stuck in his brain, the more he starts understanding that he really does care about you more than just as a friend.

Which is a whole other problem. Fugo’s going to get completely stuck in his own head.

This is the very first time he’s felt this way about someone, and he’s a mess over his lack of knowledge on the subject.

Because what the hell is he supposed to do? Tell you…? Don’t be ridiculous. That notion is met with a mocking tone, as if the mere idea of doing so is itself far too absurd.

But still… there’s this overwhelming urge telling him he has to do something. According to the others he’s already doing something, apparently. But you’re not saying anything about it. Wouldn’t you say something about it if you noticed? What if you never notice on your own? You won’t know unless he makes some sort of move…. but surely that would cause the sky to fall and mark the beginning of end times.

It’s a real echo chamber of insecurity in his head.

Yet… he feels a weird compulsion to be closer to you despite himself. He gets a weirdly beautiful feeling when he’s around you and it flutters his heart so much he doesn’t want to just let it go. It’s brand new to him, and as much as he stresses, he holds onto his affection tight.

Even though it’s more annoying than not, the others are consistent enough with their jabs that it gives Fugo hope that just maybe…

One of the only times Bucciarati explicitly commented on it himself, he mentioned that he believes Fugo’s frustration with his feelings will eventually pass.

The tone he carried indicated that he must know something that Fugo doesn’t, which only made his mind run wild further. Because if you’re going to tell anyone on the team about your feelings, it would probably be him.

Regardless of how much Fugo begs, Bucciarati doesn’t confirm nor deny that hunch. He’s rather adamant that Fugo should just “Ask Y/n and find out on your own.”

And after months of pushing, the others begin echoing that sentiment.

The likelihood of him making the first move is still slim, he figures, but he does hold onto hope that he’ll get a chance one day. Daydreams and “what if” scenarios are a common occurrence for him.

He procrastinates waits for the perfect opportunity, but it never seems to come. Mista mocks him for it, laughing that “There’s no such thing as a perfect opportunity.” Fugo only grows more defensive in response.

I’m already so nervous about expressing myself to Y/n, Fugo fusses, I don’t know what I’d do if I mess this up. If I can’t sweep them off their feet, how can I even-

“Pannacotta?” you ask, pulling him away from his thoughts.

He blinks a couple of times, focusing his attention back on you.

When Giorno is absent, Fugo’s the best source of first aid on the team. All you had to do was walk up to him, apologetic and sheepish. Without a word, he eagerly jumped at the opportunity to help patch you up after a particularly rough mission. It’s the closest he ever physically gets to you.

He calmly led you into a bathroom, gesturing for you to sit atop the sink. His fingers were light and gentle as he worked with what he has on hand. You gave him reassurance that Giorno will likely return soon, so he has no need to stress.

A smile played on his lips, thankful that you know him well enough to guess his own worry.

But slowing movements and focused eyes told you his mind began wandering elsewhere. The cutely taken aback expression on his face after you spoke up is also more than enough evidence to confirm your suspicion.

“You with me?” you ask, playfully trying to get him to respond.

You’re not used to him being this quiet after you’ve gotten hurt. He either talks you through the pain or feels the need to give a lecture. Even when Giorno’s healing you, he’s right by your side whenever he can. Just the thought of his usual behavior can bring warmth to your heart.

“My apologies, you’re just distracting,” he says, hands immediately snapping from your person. Oh god, oh god, it’s not like him to speak without thinking. He stutters trying to cover up his words and only digs a bigger hole for himself in the process. “I-I mean you’re distracted- I’m distracted.”

You laugh, but it dies out fast as you clutch your side at the sting of pain rippling though your body. Fugo’s hands instinctively fly to your side as well, his fingertips brushing up against your own.

Slowly, he lifts his head only to meet your gaze closer to him than it was mere moments ago. You seem just as surprised as he is, and there’s a brief pause while both of you wait for the other to pull away.

Neither of you do.

He’s so close he can feel your breath fanning his face. Normally his face would burn red and he’d retreat to his bedroom as soon as he could, where he’d proceed to reply the moment in his head for the rest of the night. But your eyes… your breathtaking gaze is locked on his own so intently he can’t bring himself to pull away.

And they give him courage he never knew he has.

With a nervous gulp, he leans forward and plants a single kiss to your lips. His own lips are unimaginably soft and hesitant, yet linger against your own longingly. Even when he pulls away far too soon, his nose nuzzles against yours as he plays with the idea of brushing his lips against yours again.

Just to have felt you… to have the briefest taste of what it’s like being closer to you than anyone else he’s ever known before…

“I-“ he pulls himself away, joy dissolving into self-consciousness. You open your mouth to speak, but in his haste, he cuts you off by accident, “I’m sorry… I-I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You… didn’t want to?”

Your reply is spoken in a whisper, voice so faint not even someone standing in the doorway could pick up on it. Fugo’s heart thuds against his ribcage at the crestfallen look on your face. Are you… really disappointed? He’s understanding this correctly… right?

There’s no time to think, and once again he lets his mouth move faster than his mind. “Well, I… you deserve better, you know?” he reasons, “I should’ve explained myself first and then asked… not just go for it… you know. This- I-… I’m not doing this right, aren’t I?”

You adjust yourself on the sink top, glancing away from him for only a second. “If you were to have explained yourself… what would you have said?” you gently plead.

“I-…” he shakes his head.

“Please, Pannacotta, I want to know…”

“I-…” he starts again, taking in a deep breath, “I think I would’ve said… that I think you’re very remarkable. That I’ve never met someone like you before… someone who makes me feel this way… someone who makes me-… umm…”

A hopeful smile tugs at the corners of your lips as you finish for him, “Makes you… want to kiss me?”

He nods, clearing his throat for a couple moments too long. “Not just that, though… you know? It makes me want to take care of you and look after you if I may. I-I-“ he hesitates, “I’m sorry… I’ve thought about this for so long. What I’d say to you if… if I got the impression that you wanted to hear it.”

“I do want to hear it,” you tell him, still grinning from ear to ear, “Pannacotta… I’ve been wanting to say something too for a while now. But you’ve taken the words right out of my mouth.”

He would think he’s dreaming if it weren’t for your hand reaching out and holding his with a gentle squeeze.

“I like you a lot…” you softly confess, “And I need you to know that. It’s always really cute to see you so shy… but for a moment I got to see you push yourself a little. And I think that was beautiful.”

His head falls, staring down at your interlocked hands. Your words stir something within him, taking a tiny step forward in trying to grasp that burst of confidence he felt when he kissed you. “You’re beautiful…” he mumbles, squeezing your hand.

Just a quick glance your way, a brief view of the bright smile on your face, is the best reassurance he could’ve hoped for. He took the plunge, and not only is chaos not ascending to the world’s surface, but his eyes finally open to the affection you feel for him in return.

He ultimately had a love-hate relationship with the way he feels about you before anything concrete happened between the two of you, but that didn’t stop him for falling for you more and more.

And with hindsight, he’s a little timid over not having told you how he feels sooner. But it doesn’t consume him as it may once have before.

With you now at his side, you his and him yours, his heart can only flutter with joy at the prospect of finding his first love.

[somebebop]

Drinks offered, accepted and turned down

The Metatron’s coffee (oat milk latte with unknown amount of almond syrup), as well as the whole business about it, is symbolic, I think most fans have agreed on that. It seems to me not only the drink itself is important, but the ceremony of offering and accepting/turning down a drink means a lot as well. When I think of it something archaic comes to mind: accepting a drink creates a connection and builds trust between people, and such exchanges have been symbolic in many cultures for thousands of years.

I’m not very good at drawing conclusions, but I would like to sum up all the cases when drinks are offered in season 2. So that someone more analytical than myself might have clever ideas. And I love making lists, they give an illusion of some control over this complicated narrative.

Aziraphale offers Jim some gross matter hot chocolate. Everyone remembers similar moments in  s1, right? Only this time Gabriel/Jim accepts, and it changes him, becomes an important element of his new personality.

Nina offers Maggie some wine and she turns it down in the weirdest way possible. ‘No judgement’ is already a judgement!

In the Job minisode Crowley offers Aziraphale wine and he turns it down. 

Aziraphale offers Muriel a ‘cuppertea’, and they do the most remarkable thing: they neither accept, not turn it down. They find a third way to go about it, and I absolutely love it. This is yet another small detail about Muriel which makes them so special and sets them apart from everyone - humans, angels, demons.

The barman in the Resurrectionist asks what Aziraphale will be drinking, and he doesn’t order anything. Baffles me every time, it's so not in his character and completely illogical in this situation. Everything is wrong and upside down in this episode. 

I mean, even Gabriel had enough wits to BUY drinks in the pub. Obviously later he tells Beelzebub  ‘You don’t actually have to consume it’, so it makes the drinks accepted but not taken - almost like Muriel's.

Crowley makes hot chocolate for Jim

The ’smitten’ conversation at Justine’s. Aziraphale turns Crowley’s wine down, AGAIN

Metatron’s coffee

May have missed something, but even like this it seems a lot. 

Not sure about the scene with Crowley and laudanum, it it definitely meaningful, but there was no offer. Another special case is Jim making his own hot chocolate. Precious 15 seconds of screen time are wasted devoted to an extremely informative scene where Jim makes the drink, drinks it and says ‘Ah!’. Whatever for?

More questions than answers as usual.

[laismoura-art]

Gays, gals and non-binary pals, the time has come, presenting:

°◇The Umgadi Girls!◇°

The Umgadi leader, Li Mei, was given the task of turning these four young women into true Umgadi warriors and, in the process, help them achieve their own personal goals!

Now let me ramble a bit (a lot) about their designs!

Li Mei wears a typical Umgadi outfit, the only thing is that I gave her her classic bandana but now adorned with silver to resemble other Umgadi hairpieces!

For the rest of the girls, I gave them the same outfit as Khameleon as I believe this outfit is for those on a lower rank.

🗡 For Suchin, I gave her bangs cause I think they give her a meaner look. The tattoos all over her are lilies, a common symbol of redemption and a nod to her family's history!

She seeks to learn more about her family's roots in Outworld (Seido) and gather more skills to become a better vigilante for Thailand!

🌺 For Harumi, I gave her a messy pixie cut cause I thought it would reflect well her "too much energy" personality! She also has a lot of flower tattoos all over her, to represent important people in her life, she has one for her parents, for her grandparents, for Cetrion and Kuai too! And of course, they are a nod to her clan!

She seeks to fulfil the Shirai tradition of becoming an Umgadi and earn her place as next Grandmistress of the Order of Cetrion!

Now, I find it interesting how much sun Tanya has on her design, from her Union of Light Skin to her powers, and even her golden colour palette adds to it!

And it had me thinking, Tanya is the best example of an Umgadi we have, so her design speaks not only about her, but also about the Umgadi as a whole.

So what if Delia is a Sun Goddess?

She's already "The Lady of Flame" it wouldn't be too wild if she became the Goddess of Flame, and what bigger flame we have than the sun?

@rasta-bot once said she could be a blacksmith Goddess that creates holy weapons, now imagine if she uses the sun as a forge!

Now you must be wondering why doesn't Li Mei have any sun motif on her? Or why Jade doesn't have a face paint?

🔆 My idea is that Tanya is not from Sun Do, but from another city in Edenia, and was raised by a different group of Umgadi with their own worshiping rituals (which include the face paint).

She was sent to Sun Do after proving herself to be the best of her group, now if she succeeds here, she gets the to perform her duties in Sun Do, closer to the Matrons Superior, serving the royal family itself and more importantly, being among the best of the best!

She seeks to become the best Umgadi warrior to ever exist and be remembered as such!

🍃Now, Jade is not from Sun Do either, she's a countess and her family is ally of the Osh-Tekk people and (thanks to her absent parents) she spent most of her life among the Osh-Tekk.

they also worship the Sun Goddess (though they call her by other name) and it was through them that Jade started to learn more about Delia and ended noticing some sort of mysterious connection with the Goddess, and thus came the wish to become an Umgadi. She decided to train in Sun Do to be closer to the Matrons Superior and find some answers.

She seeks to learn what is exactly her connection with Delia!

For her design, she has the sun tattoo (given by the Osh-Tekk) and her jewelleries are supposed to resemble Aztec (therefore Osh-Tekk) jewellery!

They are all gifts from Kotal, they are old friends and he likes to gift her stuff. Though it would be convenient for both their parents for them to marry, they never liked each other that way (plus, Jade is pretty sure he has a thing going on with that to-be Kytinn leader from the Arnyek island, she doesn't like D'Vorah one bit, but trusts her friends judgement...)

Oh yeah, and the Edenians have pointy ears too because I said so :P

Aaaaaaaaand that's it for now, folks!! :D

Questions and suggestions are very welcomed, I really want to make this AU grow!

An special thanks to all my girlies for being always so supportive to my ideas!💕 @mikka-minns @thedragonholder @madamealtruist @orbitinytheworld @rasta-bot @meme099 @moody-bloos

[theoretically-questionable]

Lots of things about Allison's character arc are Very Themes, but this in particular is. Very emblematic of how she's shaping out to be. Moderate thematic spoilers for Books 4 and 5 of KSBD below!

At this point, it's pretty explicitly textual that all seven Demiurges are afraid - and this fear has shaped their character and actions more than any other of their qualities.

Each have a particular, personal way their fear emerges:

Mammon's seclusion

Mottom feeding the tree

Incubus clawing for power

Jadis's inaction

Solomon David's absolute dominion

Gog-Agog's ironic, whimsical nihilism

Jagganoth's stoic, utilitarian obedience

These are all products of fear - specifically, fear of obliteration and impotence. Of death, in all its kinds.

Each of them is obsessed with seeking royalty through their own perspective, and terrified that they're going to fail. Terrified that there might be a power greater than theirs that could render them helpless.

In addition to preventing any kind of meaningful trust or collaboration, this fear is itself the thing that renders each of them helpless.

By now, in Book 5, Allison has been directly faced with all of these. She has seen that Mammon's safe retreat did not save him. That Mottom's ruthless sacrifice of others did not save her. That Incubus's machinations did not gain him anything. That Solomon's refusal to cede an ounce of his strength made him weak. And now, despite their overwhelming power and all-spanning perspectives over past cycles, she is coming to see that neither Gog nor Jag have any mastery of royalty.

Importantly, she saw that Maya, that once-demiurge-turned-drunkard, learned this too.

On her path to the Key, Maya grew to fear the hold that others had over her. Yet, borne on a palanquin by obedient servants, her power over others unquestionable, her master laid her bare with a single question: What next? What was the point of it all? To strive for power out of fear?

And so Maya fled, and lived to see at least half of a true life, full of trust and love. Now, after losing even that, Maya sees no path for herself - torn between knowing that power begets destruction, but a lack of it begets vulnerability. Unable to solve this, knowing her master Meti was never able to solve this, she insists Allison must face it too:

Her master, Meti, is also the one who so correctly said to the death-pondering monk:

“A dog has more sense than you. He doesn’t think of death at all. Not when he sleeps, not when he bathes, and certainly not when he shits. You and he will both die."

Maya, thus, also probes Allison about her thoughts on death (twice, actually, going back to their first in-passing encounter) And now, finally, Allison... shrugs.

Allison has been told to strive for her 'full potential' power for many different reasons - and been afraid to do so for just as many reasons. Afraid of her power, of her self, of her past, of her future, of the judgement of others, and of the possibility of failure.

And now, having passed through the gauntlet of fear, in these last few pages (Book 5, 3-76 to 3-78) Allison explicitly rejects not just the comforting defence of irony but the very fear of meaninglessness in the fact of unfathomable vastness of any kind - multiple universes, meaningless suffering, powerful gods, time loops, even death itself.

There is no fear. There is nothing that justifies her claim to power. There is no grand meaning or purpose. There is no undoing the horrors that have come to pass.

But she has a (maybe) sword, and someone who has been killing rats and dreaming of grand purpose is about to kill again.

What else is there to do but, in foolish defiance, ready her blade and strike them dead without thought?

"She who strikes without thinking can cut God."

[sanjisluvbot]

Isekai Yander Strawhats X Black Fem Reader Ch 16

Masterlist

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

The trees cried like they understood your pain. The leaves scattering from their branches but the tree itself never leaving, you were certain that if they could you would be rooted into the Sunny never setting foot off of it again. They wouldn’t even bat an eye at this idea.

The story was getting repetitive and you were simply so tired. Tired of it all. Questioning your sanity every night, wanting to trust but never knowing who was fully honest with you.

Going to Law and asking him a single thing about what Sanji just told you would be a dangerous mistake as of right now. You trusted Law but when you really sit with yourself— you trust no one in this world, you could only trust your own judgement.

Right then you decided what you were going to do, and you couldn’t fight the smile that spread across your face, along with the tears finally falling over your tear duck running a stream down your cheeks. Anyone passing by would see this as a mental break down. You probably looked like a lunatic although at this point nothing mattered.

You laughed to yourself, you’d been taking everything so seriously for a while now. This feeling you felt right now felt like freedom, and you were overjoyed knowing you finally made a decision for yourself.

You endured so much for so long, you were desperate for a break. This has turned into something unimaginable and as more of your story unravels you were bound to either completely shatter or, finally just up and go for it.

Pondering to yourself and the woman you’ve molded into these last few months it was hard to differentiate whether you grew or shrunk. Did this entire experience make you stronger? Was everything that transpired worth it? The heavy bags under your eyes and constant frown etched onto your face portrayed multiple things.

Your pain was ignored of course, and Law never did say anything if he noticed. It felt like your heart was being squeezed thinking about him, you were conflicted but only because you didn’t want to make the wrong decisions regarding him.

You wanted to laugh at the high standards you held him in. He was a stroke of color in your bleak life and he made you feel like everything was going to be alright no matter what.

So why is it that your soul is telling you that he is in some way lying or keeping a secret from you.

You shook your head violently and pushed off the tree heading back towards the capital. You had already made up your mind, there’s not going to be any changes… no matter what.

Walking through the streets seeing the joy of the children and the fear on the faces of adults was surreal- now that you were paying attention. The children being taught propaganda and the adults who knew and were forced to keep the truth hidden reminded you of yourself as well. You wanted to scream for them, let them know that they would be free of burden in less than a week but you kept silent.

You had bigger fish to fry and fortunately as irrational and weird the straw hat crew has become, you knew they would do good for this country so you needn’t worry.

You passed Sanji's booth again, Robin and Ussop had joined just as they did on screen and you hoped that you could pass through the crowd without notice. You were going back to Law's base, thankfully he wouldn't be there because Luffy was going to make his first mistake of letting his presence be known to the animal pirates.

This would give you more thinking time, you needed to think of how to approach Law. You didn't want him to think that he lost your trust or that you were going to leave his side anytime soon.

You had seen from your peripheral vision that Robin’s head snapped your way so you dunked down and bit trying to blend in with the crowd.

In Sanji's booth Robin was nibbling on her noodles getting ready to notify the boys that you had swiftly passed by without saying a word. They let her know that they were aware, you were hard to miss of course.

Sanji told them about the conversation you had earlier but kept bits and pieces to himself. He held back his facial expressions when Ussop all but leaped for joy thinking you would no longer be spending all your time with Law and his crew. Robin was gleeful as well but she knew that your relationship with Law wasn't shallow enough to be completely torn apart by the revelation of him reading One Piece.

Nevertheless, the Strawhats were all on the same page about keeping you here as a crew member, they also had unspoken personal agendas pertaining to you.

They were all too smart in different areas for their own good, that is the main reason they mesh well together. They were the ultimate crew in this universe and after reading the manga that brought their universe to life, inflated egos befall clouding even the most rational aboard the Thousand Sunny.

Law stomped his way back to his base after dealing with the obnoxious captain who blew their cover. Cursing to himself until he saw you sleeping soundly next to Bepo. His heart rate sped up, seeing you look so peaceful and calm made him forget his anger and worries.

The rest of his crew welcomed him and continued their conversations and he sat next to you leaning into your side. when you woke up he was going to tell you what he had held back for a while, of course, it wasn't completely intentional and he was prepared to take on your anger.

He stroked Bepo's fur thinking about the way you would most likely yell at him, scream, cry, or any other form of anger he would receive from you. He wanted to regret what he had done, but at the end of the day Law was still a pirate. Not even just a pirate he was Captain of a crew with twenty loyal crewmates, He was also very aware that by the end of wano he would have a bounty of three billion.

He couldn't feel completely remourseful for reading the manga and entering your world. As he ponders he realizes his best bet at not completely shattering the trust built between the two of you he would keep that last part to himself for a little longer.

He didn't do anything criminal when he visited your world, although you and anyone else would consider it an invasion of privacy due to him being in your home. He scoffed at himself, when has Trafalgar Law ever felt regret for gaining knowledge, and this was other worldly knowledge at that.

Your universe was up to date with Vega Punk's technology and brain, in all honesty he was overjoyed at the opportunity he had been given. His sorrowful thoughts were mainly because you were his friend and his newfound lover.

He knew you would question everything about your relationship with him and his crew but he was ready to fight for you. He was still going to get you home safe and sound and he was still in love with you.

You woke up to the smell of food, the crew was setting up the table and Bepo started shuffling beside you likely smelling the savory meal as well. You trudged your way to the table helping Shachi and Penguin with plates and napkins.

The room was lively as you all ate and laughed, you almost forgot what transpired earlier till you noticed Law was eeirly quiet next to you.

" You're quiet tonight, something happen?"

He shook his head not saying a word. You'd leave it alone, either he didn't want to talk about it or he was in the process of orchestrating a plan. You weren't going to press him for information, so you continued on enjoying your food and speaking to the rest of the crew.

When dinner was done you sat outside the base drinking in the clear sky filled with stars you weren't able to experience at home. Law joined you after a few minutes, neither of you knowing how to spark up a conversation. There was obvious unspoken tension from both sides, little did the both of you know it would be about the same situation.

A/N: I like this one a lot ☺️! I was thinking of doing a one shot in the future and calling it Romance Dawn. It would basically be how I originally wanted this story to go and more. I hope everyone is enjoying the nice weather, toodles <3

🏷️: [ message me or leave a reply if you’d like to be tagged or if I missed you ] @herwritingartcowboy @axulaphie @toshirolovebot @futmblr @rhicambo @marim0cha @sasukeswife3 @mitskikinnie100 @alaurannara @angstylittleb1tch @chaichaiiskai

[will-o-the-witch]

Project Sekai-Inspired Meditation Journey

This is a little bit of pop culture magic designed to help identify and process strong feelings. Knowledge of the game/vocaloid lore isn't required; anyone should be able to use this if you'd like!

Instructions

Find a peaceful space which you can comfortably meditate in.

Once you're ready, close your eyes and meditate in whatever way works for you. That could mean sitting still and focusing on the breath, rocking back and forth, using prayer beads, or smoething else.

Once your mind is calm, focus on the feelings you're dealing with. Maybe it's about a certain situation, or just a general feeling of discomfort. You don't have to name it. Just let it in without judgement.

When you're ready, enter your own sekai. This is a small little imaginary world created from your feelings, designed to help you discover them. Simply let yourself "appear" there. The important part is not to question what it looks like. We don't get to choose our sekai. Just allow whatever pops into your head to be, and trust that it will come to make sense over time.

As you continue to meditate, each sekai also comes with its own incarnation of Hatsune Miku. Just like the sekai itself, don't try to force it. She'll appear how/whenever she appears. Miku here serves as an ambassador to the sekai and a personal guide. By nature, your Miku is built to care about you and want to help.

Spend as much time in the sekai as you like. Explore the world, talk with your Miku, whatever feels right. You can also return to the sekai in future meditations if you want to, since it might take more than one visit to get everything out of it.

Reflect on the meditation afterwards. Much like a dream, the way things manifest can be significant. What might your sekai mean for you? Your Miku might represent what kind of help you need in real life. For example, if Miku were to appear as a nurse or maid, it could mean you want to be supported or nurtured. A badass, confident Miku might be a desire for more confidence or a strong direction to go in. Your answers will be entirely personal.

If you try this meditation, please let me know what you think! Please feel free to ask any questions about sekais/Miku if you're interested in trying it but are unfamiliar. :)

[leonhardt-simp]

The Girl Who Wrote Me Letters VI.

[post-canon/canonverse] | series masterlist

— Annie x Mute! Fem! Reader.

summary: The ungrounded mystery grows restless and tensions grow higher with every passing moment.

Author’s note: After 9 different drafts, I have this one lmao. Thank you for everyone sticking close to the story and those who have been anticipating chapter 6. Here it is! and I hope you enjoy. 🍧💕

“This one.” The Commander said pointing down at the files on his old desk, the decision creating quite a stir between Hange and Levi.

Hange looked at Levi before they approached Erwin’s desk, picking up the document to see what was beneath. They felt their breath catch in their throat, eyes widening before taking a look over to their commander.

“You— You can’t be serious…” Hange was almost speechless. After everything that’s transpired, this man was still marching on his feet.

Levi walked over, questioning the judgement… Until he saw the name on the planner documents…

“Field Medics…?” He took the paper, looking through them to see Erwin’s plans of incorporating medics beside the scouts. These plans seemed vague, but the idea was there in the form of messily drawn pictures and arrows. He wasn’t expecting this and neither was Hange.

“With all due respect, we can’t afford to pull medics out on the field… Do you really think we’ll even get our hands on even ONE?” Hange expressed, motioning with their hands while they spoke. The idea was completely ridiculous! They were practically the clean up crew. Just waiting for the dead to pile up.

Erwin knew their concerns… But, it wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about it before. He turned his back to look out the window, holding the spot where his arm used to be…. The painful reminder of time loss because of injury. Time that could’ve been spent focusing on many other things… Those days, hours and seconds.

“No…But, I know one person that they’ll likely let go.” He turned his head over his shoulder to look at Levi, who slowly went through the next page.

It was a list of names. Names of many of the more proud names within the Medical Regiment. So many good choices, but one was circled amongst these names.

ELINOR VIVIANNE. ← SECONDARY PICK.

LUTHER WAGNER. ← THIRD PICK.

Y/N L/N. ← PRIORITY PICK.

DENIS PENCE. ← KEEP AN EYE ON THIS ONE.

JOHNATHAN ADLER. ← FOURTH PICK.

Hange’s expression grew confused, “But, this one–”

“I know. However, I want this one as a mere test run.” Erwin clarified, showing that nothing was concrete yet. This was just the foundation.

Levi couldn’t seem to get behind it. The factors of this made for a dangerous situation, especially with the rumors. “…I don’t think this is a good idea.” He expressed, his eyes looking up from the papers.

Erwin found himself playing with a fountain pen he had on his desk. “We had them for the expedition. This will be no different.” He reassured, giving a head nod. He seemed to be convincing himself as he spoke along.

“We also lost Levi’s entire squad and then some. Do I need to remind you that this medic in particular is also suspected of being in contact with the titan girl that tried to run away and destroyed half of Stohess?” Hange’s voice slightly raised, a hand extended towards the door as if pointing at Stohess itself. The risks were way too high, but that never stopped Erwin.

Erwin stood up a little straighter, “Then it’s the perfect excuse to use to keep that one close… Isn’t it?” He looked between his two most trusted allies. His hand reached to the paper, pointing down to the name. Hange didn’t know what to say… and Levi? He just followed along. The idea of a on field medic fulltime was an idealistic idea… One that made any one more comfortable… That security.

But, he was not prepared of the other regiment names that would soon come in to deny the idea. They took to a vote; Pixis denied the possibility of wasting medics and soon after, Nile had also denied. His denial was more out of lack of interest than genuine concern…

Not even Zachary approved of the new idea, stating that it would be “Unwise to take away from the sub-regiment when it already lacked.”

In defeat, Erwin would place those plans in a drawer his desk. Letting that ideas seem to sink away with many of the others he had. He had to keep moving forward though, no time to waste. That was until death stopped him like a brick wall. So close, yet so far from the truth…

Y/N followed behind Levi, her eyes scanning around to hallways of the commander’s building. The wood creaked beneath their weight, making the building feel so… Hollow. That was expected though, wasn’t it? An important life was lost… One that used to fill this building.

“Y/N L/N…?” Hange questioned, seeing the young girl enter the room.

Y/N saw papers scattered around the old commander’s desk, a lot of red seemed to point to various things and occasionally the big letters. Her nervousness seemed to only grow from that. I mean, it’s not everyday you get pulled from your job.

With a cautious nod, Y/N stood across the desk, keeping her weight shifted off of her still recovering leg. The pain was dull, but she knew she couldn’t overwork it.

Levi reached over for a particular paper, sliding it in front of the nurse. She leaned down, looking over the paper with a watchful eye. The words were confusing, but when she noticed her name in bold letters… She shockingly backed up and looked at Hange and Levi with a look that asked them what they were planning.

“…A test run. And not one you can refuse either.” Hange explained, picking up another paper to slide over to the new field medic.

Y/N took a sneaking glance back, seeing Levi standing by the door. His eyes bore into her, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.

There was that feeling again. That helplessness… Her eyes shifted back up to Hange who seemed to have the same look on their face. She really didn’t have much of a choice here… So, she just nodded. Hange nodded, looking over at Levi to see if he was satisfied. He just nodded his head, being the first to leave.

The weight was on her shoulders now after seeing this idea that was left behind by the old commander…

She couldn’t help but look down at her leg, shifting a bit to see if weight could be applied, but when she felt the buckle of her knee, she shook her head.

‘…I can do this…’ She thought to herself. It’s not like she had a choice here. It was either this or end up in a some fucked up situation… She had enough on her plate already. E/C eyes skimmed through the basics, finally landing on the name of the idea.

“Operation Support.” Her eyes seemed to read over and over again…

——

There was that helplessness again… That weak feeling that bubbled beneath her gut and overwhelmed her straight to the core. She even felt that pain in her leg again… Like every feeling and memory came flooding through from the back of her head…

Her eyes widened upon hearing that familiar voice call out her name… But, she didn’t see Annie… Just the monster that had ruined her…. That beast that haunted her night in her dreams from time to time. Some nights, it would stare down at her. Other nights it tried to grab her, pick her up in its muscly hand.

“Y/N…” Annie called out, her tone hushed and desperate. Hands stayed up in surrender, taking a cautious step forward but immediately stopped when Y/N’s hand adjusted around the grip of the gun. E/C eyes looked through those apathetic blue eyes, The ones that softened at the idea of this being it.

This was her chance… To settle their score. To make up for everything. This was her chance. This was her chance.

Her hand firmly grasped the gun, pointing it up higher towards Annie’s head. Her heart pounded in her ears accompanied with ringing and buzzing… Her breathing became shallow and uneven… Then she felt it.

Her vision grew blurry, her hand reaching up to touch the wetness that started to form there. She was starting to cry… Her throat had that familiar lump in it, making it hard to keep composure.

‘No… Stop…’ Her heart started to yell, but she tried to push the feelings down. Her hand wiped them away, not wanting to show this…This weakness. She wasn’t that pathetic girl writing in a book anymore. Those days were gone.

Annie felt her heart break at the sight. Her hand reaching out, but that made Y/N point her gun more firmly at the ambassador. This made her hands shoot back up to keep them visible. Annie knew that she had to work for Y/N’s trust again. It wouldn’t come easy. Not after what she did.

Annie closed her eyes tightly and braced for whatever was to come. She deserved it, didn’t she? She was the cause of all the troubles in Y/N’s life… The reason she ran away… Hell, she was waiting for her luck to burn out. And now? It seemed to be it.

This was her chance to get back for all the hurt and suffering. her breathing became uneven and her heart pounded in her ears. The white noise. It felt like she was drowning. Y/N couldn’t deny she was panicking…

But then Dakota’s voice pulled Y/N out, the writhing body on the floor let the tunnel vision clear up a bit. Her eyes looked down to the body on the ground.

“We’re… We’re here to help…” Dakota strained, holding her head in her hands from the throbbing pain that lingered. Kota couldn’t let Y/N kill Annie, not when they needed her for this whole thing… The main problem. “She’s…She’s with me… Marley’s Ambassador…” Kota stressed, seeing double when they tried to push themselves up. Hell, it felt like a brick just slammed into their head. What the hell were they feeding these doctors??

Her grip around the gun shook further, her heart telling her to stop while her brain told her it was for the best. Reluctantly, she forced her hand down and took in the sight of the newly made ambassador.

“Y/N—” Annie spoke with a calming reach out, but then they heard the sound of more people coming into the building and speaking.

BAM!

The noise made both Annie and Kota look over towards the door. Dakota was quick on the draw of her own firearm, eyebrows furrowing down.

Whoever wanted Y/N dead was very adamant on it. Especially, since it didn’t sound like just one persom this time. That alone pissed Y/N off.

The doctor had to fight with herself to keep from giving that ambassador a feel of her pent of frustration and anger… But, now wasn’t the time. All she did was give Annie a glare while she helped the bandit up from the floor, Kota taking it without much of a second thought and standing to her feet with a bit of wobble.

The glare was met with Annie’s softened expression, taking a moment to watch as the woman she once had so close to her, farther than ever before. The limp-walk past her made the weight of her actions heavier than ever. The sound of leather and metals kept Y/N’s right leg stable, helping her move properly with some minimal strain.

“She might develop a little limp… If you can convince her to stay in bed for her full recovery then maybe she might recover better... She’s always so eager to help out.”

Her hands clenched at her sides, as the memory of a bedridden Y/N laid in the infirmary bed. The way her face glistened in sweat and her head threw back in pain…. She couldn’t convince her… Not when she was trapped in that crystal…

She didn’t even notice the other two already rushing the window, Kota pulling up the window and checking below into the alleyway for any signs of a threat. It was empty. Nothing but a few stacked up crates and barrels below.

“Good enough.” The gang leader debated, shaking her head at the thought of Y/N potential falling a few feet down. Hell, they were sure she would land well… She guessed.

Annie’s mind was still dazed out. It felt like they stood on completely opposite sides of a canyon. The bridge being deliberately burned away, Y/N holding the matches that burnt the ropes thinner and thinner.

“Annie! Help her down.” Kota called, holding open the window. That snapped Annie back into the moment, her eyebrows furrowing down. She can pity herself later… Hopefully.

Without any time to waste, Annie rushed over to Y/N’s side. “Pardon my hands…” Annie softly spoke, keeping her hand on Y/N’s waist while she focused on ensuring she didn’t fall or trip. Y/N wasn’t used to the closeness, but she knew she couldn’t be annoyed about it.

“We know you’re here, Doc Let’s not make this harder than it has to be, hm?” One of the intruders spoke, a few laughing along. The sound of wood creaking beneath every step that drew closer and closer to the office.

The rugged man looked back at his men, placing a finger to his lips. He gave three fingers, signaling that on the count of three they would rush the office and take whoever was in it.

Slowly, the fingers counted down, the tensions growing higher before finally they rushed inside. Guns pointed up, sweeping before noticing that the room was empty. Nothing but a few disarrayed item and one of their own on the floor.

“Sir?” One of the goons spoke, rushing to the side of the corpse on the floor. Another goon joined beside the other, placing a hand to the fallen member’s pulse, shaking their head when all they felt was a cold vessel.

The man grimaced, putting his gun back in his belt. “I want this entire building checked. Nothing remains unturned or touched. You hear!?” He commanded, unaware of the shadows outside the windows that were already pushing through the alleyways to blend in.

“Whoever you pissed off, did not let it go.” Dakota muttered as they pushed through a wooden gate, leading them out into some cobbled street that had a few drunks walking up and down it.

Y/N just rolled eyes, taking a moment to ditch her uniform coat in a nearby bucket that seemed to be filled with a questionable liquid. Her face grimaced in disgust, turning back to catch up. She won’t be seeing that particular coat again. Unfortunate…

Annie stayed behind, keeping a look out to ensure no one followed them. “That didn’t seem like a matter of anger… More like a…” She seemed to trail off, turning her attention back to see Y/N looking back at her with a frustrated expression. “…Like a job.” She silently spoke, watching the doctor turn her head back forward.

The tension between the two even made Dakota uncomfortable. That was between them though, this bandit knew better than to try and step into a fight between a couple. Were they a couple…? Was that how it worked? She wasn’t sure.

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Dakota rubbed the side of their head. They could still feel that sting, more dull but it was still there. “Doesn’t make sense for them to target a random doctor, though.” They added, taking a stop by some old building pub.

Dakota leaned against the brick, enjoying a moment of rest. Annie needed it too as she felt her wound from a few hours ago to feel achy and fatigue was surely pushing her.

She took a look upwards, only seeing the dark sight of the ground that lingered above… The underground didn’t have a sky… What time was it? Even she wasn’t sure… But, it felt like the days seemed to prolong. If she had to trust her gut, then she was sure that Pieck and Reiner were likely resting.

With that thought in mind, she took a moment to take a seat down on a bench placed against the brick like building, her hand rubbing at her shoulder. She even took a sneaking glance over at her old lover, watching as the young woman took slight offense to the comment. Y/N’s stance seemed to straighten up, her expression one that Annie knew all too well.

That look when she wanted to prove herself. She had it back in Trost… She had it here too.

‘I’m not a random doctor.’ Y/N signed, the look of surprise hitting the bandit and the ambassador. The blonde looked at Y/N with her eyebrows slightly raised in surprise, not expecting the change of communication. Though, that would make the most sense why she didn’t carry an old book around and a pen, wouldn’t it?…

Dakota knew there was something about how Y/N stood, her demeanor… It wasn’t like the other doctors she had been speaking to. Not Vivianne. Not even Adler..

Pushing themselves off the wall, Dakota approached Y/N, stopping just in front of her and looking down at her with an overbearing demeanor. “…Then who are you?” Dakota finally asked. There it was, the golden question. Everyone knew her as Y/N L/N above ground… But, who was this persona? This mask? Dakota was careful in approaching the mute doctors. One couldn’t be too hasty to learn the truth.

The bandit seemed to want the same answers as Annie, but even then the ambassador seemed to want to respect the boundaries her old lover clearly had. She still kept a close eye.

The doctor stood there, clenching her jaw a bit from the sudden interrogation. It even had her thinking to herself, wondering who exactly she was… But, she knew… She was a lot of things… Became a lot from nothing too.

So, seeing a smug bandit try to slightly intimidate her into spilling her life out on a map irked her a bit. It showed on her face too. Her tongue licking the inside of her cheek, she looked away briefly before she looking back up at the tall woman with more than just a little amusement. A woman who knew her position, she was. Perhaps, she picked up a few things from Dr. Vivianne.

‘The same person who slipped you a crate. Same person you want to stay on good terms with.’ She signed, her eyes challenging.

The action made Annie raise her brows, looking over to Dakota. The crate.. Then those names flashed into her mind for a few seconds. Denis and Luther…. They were all connected. The bandit seemed to suddenly have a moment of realization as well, her face contorted with a bit of confusion from that end statement though.

“…Is that a threat?” Fabel flabbergasted at the mere thought of some medic threatening to fuck off in the middle of something so important. They took a threatening step forward, feeling almost offended.

Hands started to make the argument more clear, her body turning to the two. ‘Take it how you wish. Just know you need me since I’m the only one willing to break the rules to help you.’ She reaches into her vest pocket, pulling out a letter. Her eyes stared at it before flicking her wrist to toss the letter over.

Annie watched as the letter descended gracefully down to the ground, her curiosity getting the better of her. “…What?” Annie questioned, standing up from the bench and walking over to pick up the paper from the ground. Her eyes looked up to meet her old lover’s E/C gaze, her hands gently unfolding the letter.

‘With much consideration, Main Medical has decided to postpone the distribution and cooperation with other outside parties. All medics and medical researchers are advised to stay in their offices or main buildings until further notice.

— Signed, Elinor Vivianne. Head of MM.’

Y/N shook her head, her eyes averting away at the mere thought of even getting her position revoked. ‘Everyone is completely at a standstill… Dr. Vivianne is more concerned with how much we’ve been losing because of these crates being either stolen or damaged. Every doctor, besides a few, are completely in agreement with Dr. Vivianne. They want out. This attack on my building will only solidify their stance on the matter.’ Her gestures seemed to be punctuated, her mouth moving along to mouth certain words and phrases. The doctor even started to pace a bit, needing to get some pent up feels at bay. She wasn’t happy about the decision either.

Dakota couldn’t believe that bullshit. Face contorted into frustration, feeling a bit betrayed. Hazel eyes took a look over the letter again, shaking her head in slight denial.

What ever happened to being the ones to show up for people? The heros that kept morale up? What the hell were doctors if they weren’t doing their job?

“Vivianne… That son of a bitch.” Dakota cursed under their breath, hands clenched at her side while she looked away.

Annie wasn’t sure what to make of this… “…She’s right about one thing,” Annie spoke, folding the notice back up before holding it out back at Y/N. “Those men don’t seem to be very fazed with the idea of taking lives. That crate you sent us was attacked… I… Uh.. We barely made it out. It was as if they already knew.” She watched as Y/N hesitated to reach out and take the letter back from her.

Fabel nodded, pacing a bit with a hand to their mouth as they tried to make sense of all this. “Annie here got shot… Those men aren’t afraid of any kind of consequence. Seems like everywhere we go, they’re always one step ahead.” The gang leader found themselves running a frustrated hand through their hair, stopping to look back over at the Medic.

Y/N felt her throat close up at the idea of Annie getting shot, her eyes shifting back up to meet with Annie’s gaze. Annie wasn’t sure what she saw in those familiar E/C colored eyes. It was softer than anything she’s seen all day though...

“I’ll be fine… Just a scratch…” She tried to play it off, getting a more concerned and less angry look from the other girl.

Y/N didn’t find it funny. If anything, that would make everything so much more complicated. Hell, she didn’t even know where to start… She carefully took her letter back from Annie’s fingers, pushing the paper into her vest pocket once more with a heavy exhale.

‘If they’re not afraid of consequences, then that means they’re either safe in what those consequences are… or, these people are more ruthless than I thought…’ Y/N explains with punctuated gestures. Hazel and blue eyes watched carefully as the doctor seemed a bit… Hesitant.

Dakota crossed their arms over their chest, “You have any idea what gang this is?” The gang leader asked.

Y/N shook her head, ‘Only lead I have so far is that they’re uniformed in black and red.’ Her head turned back in the direction of her medical building. She felt a little run from her own home… That was the building she used whenever she wanted to have control. She knew it would probably be burned to the ground when she came back.

“I don’t think standing around is be the best idea. More of them could be patrolling around.” Annie spoke up, standing up from the bench with a bit of a tired exhale. She cracked her neck, rolling her shoulders back as if it would relieve her.

Dakota nodded, “You’re right. Hopefully, this all starts to make sense when we’re actually in the safety of a room and not the street.” The bandit sighed, reaching for her gun and handing it over to Annie. “Try not to get this one shot out of your hand, yeah?” The gang leader teased, watching Annie flush a bit with embarrassment as she accepted it.

‘Let’s take a carriage or a wagon… I need a place to lay low… I can’t just go back to the MM if my trail is still hot.” The mute doctor gestured, fixing her leg brace a bit. The damn thing always needed to be adjusted, working and walking so much always didn’t help.

Annie waited while Dakota whistled up for a wagon, watching some old man ride up to side of the street.

“Do you need help?” Annie finally asked, getting waved off by the mute doctor. There was no direct rejection, just a wave of the hand while she approached the wagon.

“Take us Northwest. I’ll stop you when we get there.” Dakota asked as she jumped into the back, holding her hand out for Y/N to grab. Y/N took it without much of a complaint, allowing herself to be helped into their ride.

The coachman nodded, “Will do.”

Dakota got seated besides some sacks of imported goods, knee bent with an arm on it. “We’ll stop by my Uncle’s… I’m sure he’ll be glad to take up some company…” She explained, running a hand through her hair.

Y/N nodded, finding a comfortable spot near a barrel of what she believed was probably wine. At least she hoped so, a drink right about now sounded nice.

“Northwest is near the entrance to the city, isn’t it?” Annie asked, holding onto the strap of her satchel before finally getting settled up into the back of the wagon with the others. So much has changed since then… But, she couldn’t complain. She didn’t really have the right to.

‘And Main Medical. It’s some ways from it… Smack in the middle of this city… We actually cleared out one of the old brothel buildings for it… A big one. When we’re rested and ready, we can head there… Get us all on the same page with Dr. Vivianne and Dr. Adler.’ Y/N signed, her head leaned against the barrel beside her.

Dakota motioned with their hand, agreeing along with what the doctor said. “A meeting was long overdue…. She’s always avoided speaking with me directly. Dr. Adler and I are practically best buddies with how often I’ve seen him.” There was a spoken sarcasm that made Y/N shake her head, understanding what Dakota meant perfectly. Vivianne was practically a book of tasks. Always sending others to do the things she didn’t want to… Perfect example was this… Though it was deliberate, Y/N didn’t mind getting her hands dirty if it meant doing the right thing. Vivianne’s word wouldn’t stop her.

Annie hummed, taking a sneaking glance over to Y/N, who seemed to want to rest a bit on the ride to Dakota’s Uncle’s house. She didn’t want to stare, but it was strange…Seeing her again after such a long time… She looked good. Annie still liked how she styled her hair… How her E/C closed to just… Rest and breathe for a moment. Of course, she was pulled out of her moment when she saw Dakota smirking at her. That knowing glance the bandit made her way ruined it.

It made her embarrassed, making her turn her head away with her cheeks growing red flush..

With a snap of the reigns, they were on their way. Thankfully the cover of the wagon would provide them some relief from anyone who could see them pass by.

——

Adler bursted through the door, panting and pointing behind him. He was so out of breath from running everywhere, still empty handed though.

Dr. Vivianne placed her clipboard down and just waited for the theatric display to end, leaning a hand against her desk while the other rested on her hip.

“Eastern Building…. It… Phew…” He started his sentence, leant forward with his hands on his knees. He couldn’t even hold enough air in to make a cohesive sentence.

Of course, this just annoyed Vivianne. “Spit it out.” She urged, tone stern and punctual with it.

“Eastern building got raided.” Adler finally spit it out, holding a hand to his chest. The news made Vivianne’s eyes widen a bit, her expression growing a little confused.

“Raided? What do you mean "raided?” The ash haired doctor questioned, her head tilted forward as if demanding some kind of explanation.

The blonde doctor just shook his head, standing up a bit straighter. “I was doing what you said… Trying to find Y/N… So, I went to her building…But then, I noticed a whole bunch of men rush the building… I booked it out of there….” Adler explained, pacing a bit while he spoke. His conscience felt guilty. He ran off like a coward and probably let these… Rats kill one of their own.

Vivianne seemed lost for words. Her eyes looked away as she processed the news, feeling a sinking feeling in her gut at the thought of one of the original three being gone to something so…. so preventable. Her brain wanted to think logically about this, but her heart didn’t seem to agree.

“…Do you know for sure that Dr. Quil was in that building?” Vivianne questioned in a monotone voice, her head tilting slightly.

Adler couldn’t say for sure. “…I… I would like to hope not… But, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re starting to hurt the supply at the source.” He said his thoughts, his shoulders slumping slightly as he stood. His eyes grew worrisome. The idea of anyone becoming a target… He avoided the war for that reason… He didn’t want to be a target.

Vivianne felt bitter, her eyes closing for a moment. “…Start telling the staff to start closing everything up.” She says, standing up straighter. “Tell them that it’s urgent as well. I don’t want a single doctor left behind.” Her hand pulled a document from her desk, pushing it into one of the drawers with a slight of hand.

Adler looked at Vivianne with a confused expression, his eyebrows knitting together. “…What about the crates?… Surely, we can’t just… Leave them?” He asked, curious if they were going to just leave them there.

Vivianne nodded, “Don’t worry about that. Until we get definite confirmation that Dr. Quil is dead. We will proceed with clean-up here. Priority documents come first. Crates can collect dust for all I care. They’re not worth the sacrifice of the other good doctors here.” Her way of explaining the situation made Adler feel a little more at ease. He nodded his head in agreement. The earlier they got out, the better.

“Now leave me be… I need… Uh…” Vivianne looked around a bit lost, her eyes looking down at her desk. “I need to be alone for a little while…” She took a seat in her chair, her elbows resting on the surface of her cluttered desk and her hands clasping together as if in prayer. Her heart felt heavy. It felt like everything was going downhill from here.

Dr. Adler nodded his head, immediately leaving to go start the prep up for evac. There was a lot of equipment to be packed away. Transportation was also going to be a little tight, but as long as people were able to leave then it didn’t matter.

Vivianne stared at the door of her office, her eyes closing tightly as flashbacks to when she first met Y/N had suddenly triggered.

——

“Luther, Denis, Vivianne, and Adler. You’re being requested over to The Scouts Main Quarters. Please go ASAP.” The head medic spoke, flipping through a wooden clipboard as he stood at the doorway.

Vivianne pulled her mask down and looked over, her expression growing confused. “Wh-What do they need us for…?” She questioned, taking off her blood soaked gloves.

The man looked up at Vivianne, shaking his head in disapproval. “Does it matter? If I say to go, you go.” He spoke firmly, making the girl slightly purse her lips together as if to hold back on being disrespectful.

She only nodded, looking back down at the soldier that was missing an arm from an expedition… Survived, but now retired… It was unfortunate. “Rest easy…” She softly spoke, patting his shoulder before she turned and left the room.

In the hallway, Luther and Denis seemed to be messing around a bit, pushing and shoving each other. Adler stood with his hand adjusting his glasses, keeping a cocky explanation on his face as they waited for Vivianne.

“You coming, slowpoke? We’re waiting on you.” Denis said, wrapping an arm around Luther’s shoulder.

Adler scoffed, “At least try to act professional, Denis…” The blonde man spoke, his expression showing his disdain for how casual the two were being.

Luther rolled his eyes, “You act like we’re seeing the Queen. Get your breeches untangled and let loose, will ya? I swear, all I ever hear you do is complain.” The taller man spoke, Denis laughing a bit from his friend’s observation.

Adler just gritted his teeth, shaking his head. He adjusted his glasses once more, “You ready?” Adler asked Vivianne, wanting this done and over with as soon as possible.

Vivianne gave a quick nod, catching up with the three.

She remembered the debriefings they were subjected to with Commander Hange. The eccentric way the commander handled themselves made Luther and Denis more excited for this sudden call.

But, Vivianne was very… suspicious. Becoming a field medic sounded crazy… All this confidentiality also rubbed her wrong. What the hell were they hiding?

“Given the circumstances, I will give you the opportunity to back out… However, you 4 were hand picked because of your overall evaluations back when you were in training as well as your medical expertise. This is for progress… A trial we conducted a few time before. It will be the first on field medical team.” Hange explained with a more serious tone, pushing a paper towards the four medics.

Luther was the first to raise his hand, “Is it just us…? Or will there be more?” He asked, making Vivianne give him a side-eye.

Hange paced a bit, nodding their head. “I will only say that you have a captain.” They stopped, motioning towards the door. “Unlike you all, she didn’t necessarily have a choice in the matter whether she joined or not.”

Adler shook his head, standing up. “I rather value my life. I would find it a waste to leave it in the hands of some… Scout. Thank you for the offer though. Hopefully, you can find some other fool to take my place.” His reluctance made Vivianne want to leave as well, finding the idea of fighting alongside The Scouts to be so foolish. A death sentence handed down on a gruesome platter, that’s basically what it was.

As Adler left, Vivianne debated with herself. She too could live a comfortable life.. A life with no worries besides the worries that came in through doors in the arms of fellow comrades…

“Damn… I really thought I sold the idea. Anyone else?” Hange sighed, pushing up their goggles to rub their eyes. Handa landed on their hips, looking amongst the younger men and at Vivianne.

The room stayed quiet, Luther soon reaching to the table to grab the paper of the plans. Vivianne watched him debate it, soon just nodding. “Fuck it… I’m in.” He stood up, tossing the paper back onto the table. Vivianne just watched as Denis followed through too.

“Me too. I’ll join too!” Denis said with a confident fist to his chest. His lips held a self-assured smile too, pushing Luther with his arm, who then pushed him back.

‘What the…’ She thought they were crazy. Why the hell would they want to go beyond the walls? The safety was all here. They had the easy part of just sitting and waiting, cleaning and tending…. But, she hadn’t denied the offer yet… So, was she crazy too? Was it some weird curiosity?

Her eyes then met up with the commander’s, “What about you?” Hange asked, holding out a hand to her. Vivianne wasn’t sure what she was doing, but she grabbed that hand, sealing the deal of her participation.

She remembered how the team was escorted throughout the barrack building. Faces that were familiar passed by, making Vivianne stare more with interest. She didn’t expect them to be so close to such big names… Hell, she even thinks she saw Mikasa there.

“Holy hell, that’s literally Levi.” Denis grabbed Luther’s arm, shaking him slightly. As they approached the closed door that Levi seemed to guard, his back leaned against the wall.

“Is this them?” Levi asked, Hange nodding their head. “One didn’t take the offer, but we’ll still have 4.” Hange answered, adjusting their uniform coat. “Baby steps as they say.” Adding to the conversation, they looked back at the squad behind.

Vivianne saw how Hange placed a stack of papers in Levi’s hand. “Perfect.” He said, looking through them briefly before he finally opened the door.

Vivianne looked around, taking in the sight of the lab that seemed to have been built there. A lot of beakers… A lot of scrap metal too… It felt like they just walked into a madman’s science experiment.

But, it was a lot crazier than that.

The figure at the desk lifted their head up and turned to look over their shoulder, soon meeting eyes with her. And suddenly, she felt breathless.

Hange ensured the door was closed behind them, taking the initiative to walk over to the desk.

“Your captain for this operation is Y/N L/N.” Levi spoke, his hands at his sides. He kept it short and blunt, there wasn’t a need for everyone to be getting comfortable. Not yet, anyways.

Vivianne watched how the quiet persona in the room pushed back a pair of goggles from her face before turning to look at the group before her. Judgemental eyes stared, nodding as if she was satisfied.

“You’re the—” Vivianne spoke up, recognizing that face from the bulletin board. The mute doctor placed a finger to her lips and just hushed.

Y/N stood up, the sound of a heavy boot came with every step. Vivianne wasn’t sure what she felt… Was it envy? There was something in how Y/N carried herself despite being the one with the greatest disadvantage in the room.

She wanted to capture it. She wanted it to herself.

——

Annie stayed seated on a small bed that Uncle Miles provided, a hand covering her chest while Y/N took a look at the wound on her shoulder. She felt a few stings whenever the mute doctor touched the surely scarred skin.

‘Whoever did this was surely an amateur.’ Y/N gestured, looking over at the bandit that was enjoying a little meal that her uncle had provided. It felt good to be back at home eating all this good food.

“…Sorry, not everyone has experience.” Dakota said, licking their thumb from the sauce that the stew had. Nothing like a good meal to end the day. They stood by the window, looking out at the street. It was always entertaining to see people interact while they ate.

Y/N was thankful she had the proper supplies to start cleaning the wound. So, she started with that first. Having to remove stitches was a bit of a pain, but she knew it was better than letting Annie walk around with busted up looking stitches.

Annie had trouble keeping her eyes averted, always finding herself unconsciously getting distracted by how Y/N would occasionally bite her lip or how her face concentrated on cleaning the inflamed area with a washcloth. The touch enough to make Annie slightly wince and squint her eyes away.

“I just wished it didn’t hurt so bad.” Annie softly muttered, staying still while Y/N worked.

From a professional standpoint, Y/N was a bit concerned about a potential problem. The wound was definitely not correctly treated, and the old sutures were practically loose and tied too big. But, personally, she couldn’t say that Annie didn’t deserve it. A little mean, but she was allowed to be angry.

“So when are we addressing the problem with Vivianne?” Dakota asked, tossing her plate down on her desk with the others once she was finished with her meal. Her hands wiped themselves on her pants, walking over to stand over the doctor and ambassador.

Y/N finished up the cleaning, putting her washcloth down in a bucket beside them. Her attention moved over to Dakota, not sure what they were expecting.

‘Whenever I can get back. I should be able to talk to her about this… She cannot know about the attack on my building though. If she does, I’ll be stuck in the offices and I won’t be able to help you.’ Y/N explained, standing up from the bed and using a small cloth to wipe her hands. ‘She won’t be easy to persuade, but she’s never been easy.’ Y/N signed once more, sighing at the fact she needed to go head to head with her of all people. Adler, she didn’t care much for. She could debate with him whenever and wherever… Vivianne was more hardheaded. A woman bound by a weird sense of leadership. She held every nurse with an iron grip. Not her though. She could never hold her down.

Dakota hummed, “Tell me about it.” her eyes looking back over at Annie who seemed to be checking out her new sutures. However, her eyes were focused a bit more on Y/N.

Annie was stuck in a little world of her own at the moment, trying to process everything that’s happened. Everything that will happen. “Who is Dr. Vivianne?” Annie questioned, her head tilting a bit. She hadn’t heard of the name. Nor did she read about it… This was someone completely new.

Y/N could’ve answered that question in a multitude of ways, but she didn’t. She just stood there and shook her head, ‘Head of the Medical Division. She took after Henry Belis when he died after the war.’ She gestured, not very fond of the history. Especially, not when her and Vivianne had so much of it.

“…So she’s your mentor?” Annie stood up from the bed, adjusting her clothes to cover up with just the fix of some buttons on her shirt.

Y/N shook her head once more, almost finding that idea a bit funny. ‘No. If anything she’s just a person in the big chair.’ Her hand gestures showed a little more of the sadder truth of this story.

A constant shift in power always made its way between Adler, Vivianne and Y/N. Either it was a battle of different approaches to certain things, or just Vivianne putting her foot down…. Y/N always had no choice but to listen.

Dakota took a step forward, a hand gesturing towards Annie. “What she means is, she’s a hothead with too much power. Haven’t thought of one instance where she’s not sending Adler to me. A control freak. Always up my ass about quite literally everything that happens as if I don’t have it all under a watchful eye.” The bandit scoffed.

Y/N knew that Dakota and Vivianne were also on opposite sides of the fence. It wasn’t anything new though.

“…She doesn’t sound… nice.” Annie commented in a weird blunt way that made Y/N give a small exhale of amusement. The blonde’s interest suddenly hyperfixed on that little action, her mind blanking a bit.

Y/N then shook her head, ‘She’s the product of someone who lets expectations cloud judgment… Someone who let their promotion go straight to her head.’ She signed with her eyes averted, crossed her arms after while making her way over to the window. Her mind always drifted back to the past… How, she constantly felt the weight on her shoulders as she did back then. Why was it always her making tough decisions? She never had a moment to just… Be.

“Y/N, I want you to lead the Medical Research Council.”

That offer was the downfall of the bonds they used to hold. When it became more about competition than about actually helping. Who was better and who could fill the shoes that were left. Y/N remember denying the position… Wanting to live a quieter life. The occasional job here and there… But, now here she was. Fighting against her own moral compass and risking her job because she’s never been one to leave others behind. Not now, not ever. She was thankful that Luther and Denis shared that principle.

She was tired.

Dakota could see that look in Y/N’s face. How her eyebrows furrowed down, a look of lost confidence. “…You two have history then?” She finally asked, making Y/N’s head turn away.

Annie stayed quiet, just wanting to know anything that Y/N would give her… Anything that book never told. Those continued chapters. She just… She needed to know.

And Y/N told them.

‘We worked together for a while. I was under the watchful eye of Commander Hange, placed to be a field medic and soon captain for a squad … She was… my partner. Someone I could trust at the time… A voice almost.’ Her gestures were careful, her face showing a mixture of emotions. But, she didn’t miss those moments. ‘At least, that’s what I thought at the time… But, when you’re running for someone else, you forget to walk. She forgot to walk and instead took the opportunity to fly… Hasn’t come down since.’ Her way of telling the story made Annie feel like she got a good punch to the gut. Like she was too late.

Dakota was surprised, head almost jolting back a bit from the information shared. That made a whole lot more sense now…. Why couldn't they find anything based on the missing parts of this “case.”

“You were been quietly stationed…? Why the hell would they do that?” Dakota was so fucking confused. In what universe, does making someone go missing create a benefit?

Annie was struggling to understand as well, her expression contorting with its own confusion. “That doesn’t make sense…” Annie started her thought, pointing towards Y/N, who in turn turned to look directly at the ambassador.

“I was working with the scouts during the rumbling… They said they never saw you...” Annie could remember it easily. Jean didn’t know. Connie didn’t know. Mikasa was the one who told her that Y/N’s been… Armin even said the same thing….

Y/N took a step forward, ‘What did you expect the friends of a former enemy to do?… I was working and had you come after me, you would’ve been killed.’ She knew her words were coming off a bit hostile, maybe even a bit bitter… But, she was… She was allowed to be. That was the truth. She had bigger responsibilities than

Dakota stayed quiet though, taking a place against the wall with her arms folded over her chest. She wanted to see how this entire thing unfolded, but kept a watchful eye on if it got… Too heated between the two.

Annie shook her head, “You weren’t my…” She then stopped herself, because at the time… They were enemies. They fought on different sides of the walls. Y/N stood a little taller, her eyes looking into Annie. The same way they used to when she couldn’t promise anything. It made Annie speechless.

There was a pregnant pause before Y/N tilted her head, hands signing her thoughts. ‘I liked to keep my whereabouts private… That was until recently… With the war over and a lot of the members no longer here… Now, I am just a doctor and rep for medical research.’ The mute doctor’s footsteps grew closer to Annie, the two eventually standing face to face. As much as it pained her to mention the death of her mentor and practically her guardian Hange, it was true. After the war on Marley… Y/N’s squad was disbanded to focus full time on other things.

Annie’s eyes softened up, her eyes unconsciously moving downwards towards the lips of the other woman. “And what was so important?… I could think of many instances where people needed a medic and you just weren’t there.” Annie questioned with a more sharpness in her tone. Her eyes looked back up into Y/N’s eyed again, their gazes strong enough to probably light a flame.

‘Who do you think delivered the queen’s heir?’ Y/N’s response made Dakota have a little outburst, her head shaking in disbelief. She pushed herself off from the wall and approached the doctor with an accusatory tone. “Bullshit! Everyone knows that Dr—” Her voice stopped immediately, eyes showing a shocking realization. That’s when Dakota’s hand soon pointed directly at the mute doctor, the doctor holding a prideful smile.

Annie’s eyes shifted to Dakota, trying to understand what revelation they had just came upon… Then she heard it. A name she’s heard of before.

“Dr. Quil…” Dakota’s realization rang in her voice, expression showing the new information boggled her mind. The documents were shredded because Y/N didn’t exist in the corp…. Y/N and Dr. Quil didn’t exist at the same time. They couldn’t.

“Dr. Quil helped me out with my bent out leg. I’d recommend seeing her if you need a check-up.”

The memory made Annie’s body feel suddenly cold. Her eyes finding themselves downcast and her hands at her sides in the shape of fists. Hiding in plain sight… Then she remembered what Dakota said to her when she was tied up in that chair.

“Name has been dead for a long time….” Annie spoke under her breath, trying to take in everything… But, It was too… Too much.

‘Marley was lovely, by the way. I find it crazy I made it there before you did.’ Y/N was just fucking with Annie now, the tension starting to grow the more that Y/N revealed. Annie immediately grabbed Y/N by her shirt collar, staring at her old lover with a more cold gaze. Was she mocking her?

The threatening look didn’t make Y/N flinch, she wasn’t the same person she was before… Annie had to accept that… There was no journal writing, no walks through the snow, no late night visits that ended up in a tangle of limbs… They were strangers. A clean slate. They didn’t recognize each other. That’s what years did to something that wasn’t fully established.

“Amby…” Dakota placed a hand on Annie’s chest, keeping her voice steady to calm Annie’s overwhelming emotions. But, It was all just too much to take in. Her fists clenched harder, her eyes wide and she was spiraling a bit.

But, it wasn’t. They were just battle-hardened creatures now… Both had their secrets. ‘Be mad that I lied, Sure. But, you can’t be mad at me for doing the same shit you did to me.’ Y/N was right. She wasn’t any better… They were the same coin, different sides. Annie couldn’t be mad that Y/N took a more respectable route of things.

“Annie.” Dakota’s voice raised, stern and hushed as to not disturb her uncle who was probably in his own sorrows with his mourning.

“You act like I didn’t care.” Annie’s voice wavered in their justifications. “I didn’t fucking leave you because I wanted to!”

‘You left because you knew you couldn’t stand to tell me the truth. You couldn’t even be honest with me when I got hurt because of you.’ Y/N’s words struck into her like daggers. And they were right… Annie was the biggest coward. The one that ran away because it got too complicated and the fact Y/N saw that and looked down on her… She didn’t know what to say.

Dakota’s hand pushed against Annie’s chest again, “That’s enough.” The bandit wasn’t going to let this continue, making Annie finally let go of her old lover’s shirt. Y/N even swatted Annie’s hands away, the sounds of breaths heavy coming from the two lovers. Dakota pushed them away from each other, pointing a finger at the blonde then at the H/C as if they were dogs. Both just back off, staring at each other from past Dakota.

The doctor fixed her collar, dusting herself off while she took that moment to breathe. She knew Annie could easily overpower her, did she care? No. She knew she had the upper hand. They both were in a position that couldn’t be replaced. Both were important people… With powerful names…

“Let me remind you both that we don’t need this. I get it! You’re pissed off at her. She’s hung up on you… But, right now??? We have shit we got to do.” The gang leader motioned between the two, hazel eyes meeting up with the doctor’s. “Doctor?” Dakota spoke to move the attention from Annie to herself, cautiously holding out their hand to the disheveled woman. Y/N just looked down at it with a stubborn glare. A little parley on their personal matters… How fun.

“We get this done, you both can sit… Maybe, have a nice coffee above ground about it. Hell! Kill each other afterwards if you really want to! I don’t give a damn. Now, we know what we need. We need to rest, wake up and have that meeting with Vivianne with no delay.” The way Fabel spoke really showed that they knew how to keep the game fair. That’s how they liked it. Fair, sweet and short. None of this back and forth.

Annie licked the inside of her cheek, still feeling that bubbling annoyance in her gut. She was also smacked with guilt and doubt. She just nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. It’s not like she wanted to fight her. and Y/N didn’t want to fight her either… She was exhausted.

“Deal?” Dakota asked, eyebrows raising to show a more neutral face to the doctor. She didn’t want to seem like she picked a side, there was no sides.

With much contemplation, Y/N reached over to shake the bandit’s hand. She can play nice for a bit. E/C eyes met up with blue soon after, ‘I know a nice cafe we can go to when this is all over. I’m guessing you like it with extra sugar?’ The doctor signed to Annie, making the ambassador suddenly look taken aback.

“How did you—?” Annie was caught off guard, head turning to follow as Y/N walked past her to start getting their stuff together for bed. She might not have realized, but Y/N still remembered her sweet tooth. Not that she would admit it.

Dakota shook their head, rolling their eyes as they left the two to get their shit together. The bandit was expecting a cute reunion, maybe some fighting with a little bit of declarations of love… No, just got a headache. A massive one.

“Hey, Uncle. Do you have rope?” Dakota asked, coming down the stairs to see the older man at his workstation. His eye looked over to the younger Fabel, placing down an axe head he was sharpening.

“What do you need rope for?…” He asked, watching as Dakota made her way over. She stopped across the work bench, hands in her pockets with her eyes looking at all the new things her uncle had been busying himself with.

“I got two dogs that need to get along. Figured I would just tie them up until they did…” Her hands picked up a shiny blue steel knife with a beautiful redwood handle. She gave it a few practice swings, testing how the blade hid away before flicking it out again.

Miles softly hummed, “Is that what I heard upstairs…?” He turned back to his work, sanding down a handle for an axe he was making.

Dakota nodded with a dramatic head nod, folding the knife back into itself. That’s when Miles held out his hand, “Makes the place a lot more lively… Can’t say I hated it.” He said with a short laugh, making Fabel feel a little guilty. They knew what he meant, it wasn’t just him that felt that way.

She gave him the knife, watching him pull away from the desk to place it into a little sheath he had made for it. A pretty thing, lovely dark leather always looked good. “I’m sorry for not being around much, M…” She apologized, pulling a chair out from his desk that was cluttered with ideas and projects. She sat across, leaning back in it.

He took a deep breath, looking at her with tired eye. “You're all good, D… I know you’re busy with managing the gang. I gave you that responsibility after all… I know how much it takes away.” He looked back down at the wooden handle in his hand, placing down the sandpaper to test how it felt in his hands.

Dakota sighed, “…I’m working hard to stop it… I mean.. I’m not going to say much, but I’ve been establishing quite the connections.” She saw how he shook his head.

It didn’t matter how many connections a person had. For some reason, this place always took and took. It took his left eye… It took his wife… He was stagnant… Just a guy who made tools for a gang he used to run.

“Hmm… Just don’t get swept up in it, D.” He simply said, his voice quiet. It pained Dakota to see him this way… Watching him adjust that eyepatch on his face, sometimes she could see his hands shake.

“It’ll have to catch up to me to sweep me up, Uncle.” Her voice softened up, watching as he sighed and shook his head. “I’m serious.” He replied, looking up at the young bandit. Despite her being older now, he still saw that little girl that enjoyed watching him make new things.

“I know.” She exhaled, standing up from the chair. “I promise. Once this is all over, we can take a trip above ground… get some fresh air. Maybe, we can see the water too. I know you’ve always wanted to do that.” She promised, holding a soft smile. It was one of those smiles that made Miles feel at ease.

“…Sure… We’ll go see the water.” He agreed with the pretty thought. Maybe he needed to get away from all of this… But, nothing could ever fill his missing piece… Not even water. Dakota gave a wink, motioning towards the kitchen as she started to head for head. “Make sure you eat, Uncle. Don’t need you passed out on your workbench again.” She advised, footsteps echoing as Dakota went up.

The older man’s eye looks over at the urn on the shelf, “What are we going to do with this kid, Kate?…” He asked before he shook his head and got back to work on making his axe.

——

“LUTHER! RUN!” Denis yelled, sprinting down the alleyway behind his best friend. Luther was running just like he was told, looking back behind them as men started to rush them.

“I want them alive!” The man ordered, stopping his chase and pointing at his men to go after them. His lips lifted into a proud smirk, hearing the bullets fire and the feet of men running at his demand… Was this what it was like to have power Instead of being kicked to the ground?

Denis followed close behind, pulling down barrels and crates to obstruct any path. Luther knew something was fucked when they saw those bastards were starting to block off streets. They had to ditch the wagon because of it and It fucked with him, he knew what they were looking for. Their faces were well known from the papers.

BANG!

Luther found himself ducking his head, scrambling into another set of alleyways behind some brothel. Bugs and rats scurried past his feet. His heart racing in his ears made it feel as if his head was underwater. He couldn’t hear anything. Just kept running and running.

“Through here!” Luther said, finding an old building they could run through. He looked at the old doors on it, taking a step back before using as much momentum and adrenaline to kick the damn thing open. Once the door broke open, Luther pushed himself through the splintering wood. The place was dark and dusty, but he could care less…

“Denis, I think we should—” He turned behind him and saw no one. Her heart dropping instantly, all he could hear now was the sound of his own heavy breathing.

“Denis?…Brother?” He helplessly called out.

taglist; @cess02 @the-camilucha @tsukidrama @scouts-stuff

[billy-jay-kisses-robots]

Part of me hates myself for loving mtmte as much as I do because I feel like it's flaws should hold it back a lot more than they do. Like I should be more angry about the ableism and problematic shit, or the times where it was clear the narrative fucked itself over for no good reason. And a lot of my feelings are probably rooted in my inability to trust my own judgement. I thought Rung was a generally well meaning, kind character in over his head, but apparently he's deeply corrupt and outright damaging to everyone he comes in contact with. I thought Chromedome and Rewind were a loving but reasonably strained couple that, in the end, were good for each other. They're highly toxic, apparently. I thought Megatron's introduction to the cast was interesting and, well flawed, his writing was a unique look into how characters with such long lifespans can process the weight of their actions in a way humans can't. I was told it was a genocidal apologist rhetoric. I loved the scavengers because they were fucked up, but in a way that made it clear to me that they really did care, especially about each other. I feel guilty about that because I should hate them for everything they've been a part of.

Tailgate being sweet but still selfish? Ratchet being overly dismissive of religion? Rodimus being... Rodimus? And the narrative still treating them as overall likeable and good? I feel genuine guilt over thinking any of these characters are well written, charming, or lovable.

I like how fucked up the cast as a whole is. But it feels like I'm supposed to hate them.

And that's on top of the treatment of characters with disabilities. As someone who is disabled myself, there were a few moments I questioned when reading, but looking through the thoughts of the fandom, these should have offended me a lot more. But they didn't. And I'm not sure why.

But I remember moments like this

And I really think this was an overall great story, despite its flaws. Maybe I'm looking at it with rose tinted glasses, I don't know.

[bellafragolina]

Raihan setting up a curvy female!reader with Leon on a blind date for a treat? I've had the idea for ages but between work and school, I'm too lazy and preoccupied to write it 😭. Thanks so much! ❤

you got it dude!! one simping leon coming right up!

🍓🍓🍓

Leon isn't sure why he agreed to this. He sinks into his seat some as the patrons of this little hole-in-the-wall restaurant gaze at him, whispering to one another. He's lucky it's more of an adult establishment, with folks kind enough not to walk up to him and ask for an autograph.

A blind date, Raihan called it. He had sworn up and down that the woman he knew would be a perfect match for Leon. But Leon doesn't know if he believes it, no entirely. He trusts Raihan's judgement, but he knows the tendency for people to only see Champion Leon. They sometimes didn't care for the man beneath the title and the crowned snapback.

But, Leon has to admit he does feel a little lonely, and he does want a relationship. He wants the domesticity and the butterfrees and the flowers that come with it. He hopes whoever this woman is, she wants something similar with him and not just the Champion.

When you walk into the restaurant, dressed how Raihan told him you would be, Leon feels his heart stutter and trip over itself. The outfit you chose suits you well, better than anything he could've imagined, hugging the curves of your body and accenting the way your hips gently sway when you walk.

You spot him, and stop in your tracks, your eyes wide with shock. But then you split into a warm, albeit shy smile. You make your way over to his table, and you settle into your seat.

"Hello." You greet, chuckling to yourself. "Doesn't Raihan have a way with words? You're the last person I expected to find in that chair."

Leon laughs too, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, but he said it'd be worth it." He glances up at you, grin boyish and lopsided. "And I'm starting to think he's right."

A blush blooms across your face, and Leon chuffs up, pleased.

You spend the dinner together, and Leon finds himself growing more entranced. You talk about life, friends and family, hobbies and Pokémon. Leon waits for your questions about his job, the money and celebrities he knows, but you don't press him on any of it. You leave your questions casual and open ended, letting him decide what he wants to talk about. And Leon likes it, a lot.

He likes how interested you seem in his family, how you laugh at his silly stories and coo at the baby pictures of Hop he shows you. In return, you talk about Raihan, how the two of you met and how annoying the man has been, bugging you about going out with a friend of his.

"He said you and I would get along," you tell Leon, sipping your wine with a soft huff of amusement, "because we're both sad sacks moping about wanting relationships."

Leon snorts. "Rich, coming from him!"

"Right? He's got a lot of advice for someone chronically single."

Leon grins, eyeing the hand you lay on the table as you set your glass down. He taps his fingers on the tablecloth, now somewhat strained by the meals you had, and inches his hand closer to yours.

As you continue to talk, some playful teasing towards Raihan, Leon slides his finger tips over your own fingers, tracing the valleys between your knuckles, before settling his palm over your hand. His had engulfs yours, but its warm, calloused. It feels safe.

You smile at him, twisting your hand so your palms align, tracing along the veins of his wrist.

Leon blushes, but he's too giddy to care. He doesn't want this date to end, even though the waiter has dropped off the check.

"Hey!" He says, a bit to loud. It earns a few glances from the nosier of the other patrons, but you just cock your head, nodding for him to continue. "Um, let's go hit one of the parks. I wanna meet your Pokémon."

Your eyes twinkle in the low lights of the evening sun. "Here, I'll do you one better." The squeeze of your hand in his makes his heart flip-flop again. "Why don't you come over? You can meet my Pokémon, and I'll meet yours too, yeah?"

Leon is nodding before you even finish your offer.

And if people see you both walking out of the restaurant, Champion Leon's hand following the curve of your hip? If the press posts pictures tomorrow of the mysterious woman seen taking the Champion Leon home with her? He doesn't care. Not if it means getting to spend more time being just Leon with you.

🍓🍓🍓

hope this is something like what you would've written! show me if you ever write it too!! i'd love to see how they compare!!

~Renee

[burst-of-iridescent]

many things have already been said about how the southern raiders proves that katara and aang are incompatible, but i think the real nail in the coffin isn’t just that TSR reveals a lack of understanding between the two, but a lack of trust. 

the minute katara tells aang she’s going to find yon rha, her mother’s murderer, his first question is “um… and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?”

right off the bat, his response to katara’s serious, emotionally-charged announcement comes off as accusatory and condescending, so it’s no wonder that katara responds defensively:

“i knew you wouldn’t understand.” 

at this point, aang is supposed to be katara’s closest friend. they’re just weeks away from getting into a lifelong romantic relationship. and yet katara doesn’t respond to aang’s remark the way you would expect someone in her position to react: she shows no betrayal, no disbelief, doesn’t even seem to really be hurt by the fact that her dear, trusted friend doesn’t see why she would want to find the man who murdered her mother.

her choice of words is also particularly telling: she doesn’t say “you know what it will accomplish” (which would indicate that she at least has enough faith in aang to believe that he realizes what this means to her) or even “you don’t understand” (which would be a more realistic response stemming from hurt and anger) but rather “i knew you wouldn’t understand.” 

this means that katara, at the point where she and aang should have been closer than ever, didn’t expect his understanding. she didn’t expect his support, or his sympathy, or his compassion. in fact, her reaction suggests that she was prepared for this exact response all along, that all she did expect from aang was precisely what she got —disagreement, dissuasion, and a complete lack of empathy and understanding.

why is this something you would expect of your best friend? shouldn’t you believe that you can count on them for support? shouldn’t you be hurt if they don’t support you? shouldn’t you at least be surprised if they don’t?

katara doesn’t trust aang to do for her even the bare minimum of what a friend should — and at the same time, neither does aang trust katara. he immediately assumes that her trip is about revenge, and then compares her to jet. shouldn’t aang know katara, his dearest friend and the girl he loves, better than this? shouldn’t aang know what katara is and isn’t capable of? shouldn’t he trust her to make the right decision?

instead, it’s zuko, who isn’t even katara’s friend at this point, who insists that it’s about justice and closure, not revenge. it’s zuko who stands by her side without judgement and believes in her to make the right choice. it’s zuko who trusts katara to stay true to herself. 

kas love to talk about how kat.aang’s friendship is the perfect basis for their romance, but in TSR it seems like katara and aang aren’t even friends. neither of them trust or understand each other the way friends should, let alone best friends who supposedly harbour romantic feelings. the southern raiders doesn’t just prove that katara and aang would be incompatible in a relationship — it calls the very foundation of their friendship itself into doubt.

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART TWO

we were running for our lives.

you led them straight to us.

ah, backstabbing. feels just like home.

this woman saved your pathetic life.

anything to save yourself, you coward.

arrogant prick had it out for me from day one.

coming back to this hellhole was a mistake.

i'd rather face another round of goblins than stay in this pit.

whatever your business, i'd see to it quickly.

you're brave to walk around without hiding your heritage.

we've known enough grief this tenday.

saw you fighting those slimy bastards.

it ain't much, but it might make a difference.

you'll need every bit of strength, trust me.

there isn't a bit of color in those cheeks.

even on a good day, half the camp acts like a bunch of screaming brats.

i'm tempted to smack them all on the backside.

you aren't gonna shoot me — your hands are shaking.

you're better than this.

those words could be your last.

i can't do it, i'm not like you.

i don't need you to be like me.

could just be good luck, but sooner or later it's bound to run out.

lives are at stake and the cowards only care about their bloody rituals.

those dirt-kissers would let us die.

i'll go where i please.

rare and intriguing on a day already packed with intrigue.

there's no overstating my disinterest.

i was concentrating on not dying.

you've proven your authority, now prove your mercy.

let's just clear the air about that now.

it's just an old wound that hurts me from time to time.

it's just something i have to live with.

what is youth if not a time to be forgiven for one's transgressions.

putting a child on display like that was monstrous.

she wasn't innocent, but that doesn't mean she was guilty.

our hospitality have its limits and they were crossed long ago.

you seem like a good soul.

you deserve a chance to save yourself.

you can't cure what you don't understand.

doubt we'll be safe here for long.

he's back with his tail between his legs.

you're the first bit of good faith we've had.

his confidence is an asset.

i thought we had something special.

i'll spend my evenings lounging here while you do all the hard work.

be wary of false promises.

more riddles from my resident jester.

i speak only what requires telling.

finally, some good fortune.

this could be our last night together.

we could find somewhere discreet right now.

brambles on bare skin aren't as fun in practice.

i can't afford to tire you out.

will this little adventure of ours be over?

will you miss me?

you've been to hells and back.

i'm not easily impressed by people, but you're stronger than i gave you credit for.

i am pretty impressive.

i was leagues away.

i just need to get some air, clear my head.

the moonlight shines warmly on us.

do you think me so sheltered?

something's special about us.

i'll not gamble our lives on people who are as good as dead.

if something happens to these people, it's on us.

i suggest you do as she says.

the last time a subordinate questioned my judgement, i ate tongue stew that very night.

you ought to reconsider keeping her around, before she causes real trouble.

if you've finished scowling at me, what comes next?

you ever scare me like that again, and i'll feed you to a gnoll.

i don't make a habit of threatening children.

i'd thought one like you might understand.

when a threat makes itself known, you remove it.

you showed great mettle.

you will do more than speak.

this tale ends but one way.

[chuckeroo777]

Dungeon Meshi Volume 7 Part 1

Welcome back! Today we are covering volume 7! As always, this is a post finishing look, so spoilers ahoy!

So... does Kui have a thing for legs? I can't help but feel like there are quite a few spots where legs are emphasized, and there's even that extra where Namari accidentally reveals she has a leg fetish.

I'm still questioning where they got the stuff they already had. Where did they get the bags and futons?

Kabru. Kabru, were you so desperate not to eat monsters, that you tried eating soap?

Trust me, the real reason is a lot stupider.

Normally I'd make a joke about "Oh if only you knew," but honestly? This one panel is sexier than pretty much every piece of fanart I've seen, so for once, good job not being horny internet.

*Glances over at my succession post where I briefly touch on Marcille's and Izutsumi's reproductive situation.* Oh no, I am a Laios.

Oh boy! I can't wait to smell like fish!

An important image.

Laios: God, I wish.

An important bit of exposition that got cut from the anime. This is how the Faligon can sustain itself despite the tiny mouth.

Not gonna lie, I laughed out loud when I saw this silly thing. I recognized it right away. I was making a card game a while back involving ecosystems made of real, extinct, and fictional plants and animals, and I was having a heck of a time finding mythical/fictional plants that weren't just "fruit but real good" or "fruit but real bad" or "Walking tree". The vegetable lamb is a real standout. (And of course I had mandrakes. They were in the 'real' category, and had a special interaction with fictional creatures.)

Why didn't Chilchuck kick the staff down to Marcille? Is he stupid?

Uh, I get the metaphor, but how does this accomplish anything other than getting you more lost?

I wonder if the rind also tastes like crab. Honestly, this thing sounds great. I'd eat it.

More Kui leg propagnada.

That's an oddly specific thing to be worried about. Like, things are advanced enough in this world that basic plumbing exists, right?

I love how this stupid bell does nothing but annoy Toshiro until the eleventh hour.

Did you? Kabru did, but you just ate an onigiri, and that other stuff Maizuru made.

Falin is a proper cleric. All holy and kind and healing, but willing and able to cave in some skulls.

I love how in this spot highlighting Laios's questionable party, Kabru can't say anything bad about Chilchuck.

Another Laios parallel. Kabru also manages to rope Toshiro into his business against his better judgement.

When you overthink the metaphor and it makes way too much sense.

When you overthink the metaphor and it stops making any sense.

Kitty

Seems like a heck of a loophole. Why didn't we bring this stuff with us?

Haha, get it? Dying? Cause they can't?

I think the fact that Laios has a stronger emotional reaction to a minotaur than he does a succubus says everything really.

They mention it at the brewery too, but I like how they like the orcs. I wonder how much contact they have with the orcs? The orcs don't talk about it really. Do they just leave caches for the orcs to find? Or do the orcs vist the golden country directly? The brewer mentions the hops were a request, so they must communicate somehow.

How I feel about other people's kinks.

Senshi. You can't just drop that line without context. What do you mean? Are they grafting dryad buds to more typical plants? Or are they making horrible plant chimeras? Give me the botany details dangit!

And with that, we will continue in part two!

[yakuzacanons]

hello i saw judgment asks were open and i audibly cheered for joy! could i get some yagami dating headcannons both sfw and nsfw please!! i love this man more than life itself please bless me up!!

YAGAMI TIME MY BELOVED finally let's give it up for my boy ( I am in love with him???)

For a guy who does detective work for a living, Yagami can be laughably dumb and awkward. This is actually super adorable to most people, although he thinks it's super embarassing.

Super good at hiding his hand, if that makes sense. He will not tip you off in any sense with even the slightest hint that he's into you. You will not be able to tell by looking so don't try.

Definitely more of an "actions speak louder than words" guy. If he likes you, then he's going to see you. That's that.

One of the better texters of all of the boys. Understands emojis and responds pretty quickly. Does not understand any memes to save his life. Send him animal pics though, he likes that.

Don't be afraid to blow up his phone! He's a busy boy so he might pass out without remembering to call you, but if you call him he will answer, even if he's very sleepy.

Speaking of sleep, he's either sleeping like a stone or the lightest of lightweights. Depending on whichever kind of sleep he got the night before, he will either be very energetic when he sees you or the softest boy.

Genuinely not picky or choosy about what kind of partner he has. Super open minded and not judgemental at all (despite the game's title). Amazingly easy to talk to, especially with anything you struggle with. Super dependent guy and very supportive.

What Yagami DOES show when he's into someone is an interest in facts. Where are you from? When's your birthday? What's your favorite color? What're you doing today? Man has questions, man needs answers.

A confession is 50/50, he kind of goes with the vibe. If he gets the feeling you'd want him to confess first, he'll go for it. Not super showy but he does have a slight flair for making the moment cute.

Winner of most handsome boyfriend award. Even when you two are going steady, it will take a long as time for you to not get tangled up in how charming he is. Shit, that might never wear off.

He's one of the more experienced boys with dates, less so with long term relationships though. He knows where to go, what to eat, what gifts to get, etc. Don't ask him about decorating an apartment. He don't know shit.

Everyone always assumes that Yagami is not a sexual guy because he's on the quiet side (plus he won't openly flirt like Kaito will with someone he likes). Ironic, given that between the two Yagami is the top (more on that later).

Slightly higher than average sex drive, but working long nights all by himself have given him an ungodly tolerance so if you're busy, he can wait. Normally, he'd just jack off but in a relationship, that energy gets pent up until the next time you guys fuck so... watch out.

Again, Yagami isn't a picky guy and is pretty open minded so if you've got kinks, he's not going to back down. He's seen so much weird shit from work in general that it's super hard to phase him. Maybe like no knife-play though? There IS a limit somewhere.

Noisy fuck. Moans like a motherfucker and sounds damn good while doing so. Typically can go a couple rounds, depends on how tired he is. Also, he loves kissing in pretty much every form.

Two important notes: he looks super angelic when he's sleeping, so if you wake up before him, be sure to take in the view. Second of all: pull. his. hair. Just do it. Trust me. It'll be music to your ears. You're welcome.