#Joke Script

[gothamite-rambler]

Tim: He said it's obvious that Jason only has one night stands.

Bruce spat out his drink, laughing that grew louder to the point he had to place a hand on the counter top.

Bruce: I'm sorry... I'm sorry... It's hahahahahaha!

Jason (offended): Okay, it's not that funny.

Bruce: I care about you Jason and that's how I know you aren't a one night stand man. Oh God it hurts to laugh but it's worth it!

Tim: Where did he even get that idea from?

Jason covered his face with his book, blushing.

Tim: You made him believe that?

Jason: I wanted to look cool! Damn, Bruce stop laughing!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thanks for listening to my sad backstory. Anyway, here's Wonderwall.

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[inkyscripts]

[lucabyte]

Not all who wander are lost. Some who wander, however, are extremely, extremely lost.

[blossoms-phan]

dan is so fake he’s always like “this is your chance to ask us important, hard hitting, deep philosophical questions” someone asks how do you feel having an entire generation look up to you and he’s like physically? yeah haha we’re so tall 🤪

[crimson-creature]

I know there are worse reasons to get bangs than going to your boyfriend's house to cosplay as his dead wife to try to resolve his issues but I can't think of any at the moment

[top-script]

ok but like

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

[karasukarei]

Wind Breaker Special Stage Event - Tonpuu-machi Halloween Matsuri Afternoon Show Special Reading Drama (part 1)

I originally didn't plan to translate this event because it's not exactly publicly available, but some of the stuff in the drama is just COMEDY GOLD and it seems that there are people who are interested in seeing the script, so here it is! Do note that for some of Nirei's lines when he's describing the outfits, I didn't really manage to translate the full thing because my 日本語 is not 上手 enough to keep up with him ;-;

You can check out the rest of my translations here!

*PA announcement starting tune*

💙Umemiya💙(over the PA system): Ah ah, A I U E O, I U E O, A U E O A I! (t/n: This is just him testing the mic) To everyone in Tonpu-machi Shopping Street, this is Fuurin High School’s 3rd year Umemiya! Thanks for taking part in Tonpu-machi Shopping Street’s Halloween celebrations today! This year, us Boufuurin will be here to hype things up, so make sure you have lots of fun! Alright everyone, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Yosh, alright Hiiragi, time for us to get changed too~

Hiiragi: You idiot, it’s still on!

💙Umemiya💙: (very apologetically but not really) oops my bad ^^;

*PA announcement ending tune*

*The sound of wind chimes ringing*

Suo: As usual, Umemiya-san is so full of energy today!

Sakura: That guy is as noisy as ever.

Nirei: Let’s try our best today too, and have fun at the party! (t/n: Just a note that Chiba Shoya was the MC for the whole event, and he STILL had so much energy doing this segment ;-; what a ray of sunshine)

Suo: Nirei-kun, you look like you’re having lots of fun!

Nirei: Yes! I love Halloween! It’s just so fun!

Sakura: Speaking of, what are we doing today?

Nirei: What we’re doing? “The shopping street’s Halloween Party is being hosted by Boufuurin this year, so you guys should help out too,” that’s what Umemiya-san told us!

Sakura: Halloween, huh?

Suo: Sakura-kun, you do know what Halloween is, right?

Sakura: *splutters and blushes* Don’t take me for an idiot! It’s the day you eat pumpkins right?!

Suo: That’s the winter solstice! (t/n: Winter solstice = 冬至 = “toji”)

Sakura: T,To-Toji, who’s that?! (t/n: if you watch JJK, you will understand why this joke goes so hard on so many levels 😩)

Nirei: No, that’s not a person’s name…

Sakura: Huh?!

Nirei: Halloween is a fun event where you eat candy and dress up!

Suo: Its original meaning is as a harvest festival, or the western equivalent of Obon (t/n: Obon is the period of time in August when people visit their ancestors’ graves to pay respects to them), it had several different meanings!

Sakura: Hmmm…

Nirei: Oh, Sakura-san, do you know what is “trick or treat”?

Sakura: Trick or… treat? What’s that?

Nirei: It’s a phrase that’s associated with Halloween!

Suo: If you don’t give me candy… I’m gonna prank you.

Sakura: Eeek! D, d, d, don’t whisper into my ear!!!

Nirei: *laughs at Sakura* Anyway, when someone tells you “trick or treat”, you give candy to them so that you won’t get pranked.

Sakura: *Gasp* Extortion??

Nirei: Why are you going down such a violent route…!

Hiiragi: Oi, Sakura, Nirei, Suo.

Suo: Hiiragi-san, thank you for the hard work.

Nirei: Wowowowowwhawahaahahwhawha!!!

Sakura: You, what’s up with your outfit?!

Hiiragi: What do you mean “what’s up”? This is my halloween costume.

Suo: That’s… the grim reaper, right?

Hiiragi: Yup. You know it well, huh?

Nirei: C-

Sakura: Huh?

Nirei: COOOOOOOL!!! 

Sakura: *sounds of shock and surprise*

Nirei: A coordinated outfit all in black, it’s perfect for the calm and collected Hiiragi-san! With the hood (???? I couldn’t catch everything cos he was speaking so fast x_x), he looks all ready to start reaping souls! It’s a sure kill!!!! (t/n: sorry about this part I am not good with compound sentences ;-;)

Hiiragi: Nirei? What’s up?

Nirei: TO BE ABLE TO SEE TAMONSHUU’S HIIRAGI, DRESSED LIKE THIS, I AM OVERJOYED. (t/n: yes Nirei is shouting REALLY LOUDLY)

Hiiragi: (very hesitantly) Y, yes, t-thanks a lot. Thanks to you the mood is a bit lighter now.

Suo: Your face seems rather gloomy, did something happen?

Hiiragi: *sigh* Just now, I wanted to give out some candy to a kid, and when they saw me they started crying. (sounds of gastric ulcers forming) That’s all…

💙Umemiya💙: Oi Hiiragi, don’t look so down!

Nirei: OHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Sakura: Umemiya and… Sugishita…

Sugishita: That’s Umemiya-SAN, HUUUH?

💙Umemiya💙: Now now, don’t fight ^_^

Suo: Umemiya-san is a pirate right?

💙Umemiya💙: Yup! How is it? Does it fit me?

Nirei: It doesn’t just more than fit you! That hat is proof that you’re the captain, no, admiral! (he mentions something about Boufuurin as a pirate party???) It’s the most fitting costume for the head of Boufuurin! THERE’S NOTHING ELSE THAT’S MORE FITTING FOR UMEMIYA-SAN!!! (t/n: Nirei please slow down and use simpler sentences 僕の日本語は上手じゃない;-;)

💙Umemiya💙: Hehehe, if you praise me like that I’m gonna get embarrassed!

Sugishita: Oi!

Nirei: Eeek! I’m sorry I got carried away…

Sugishita: You understood it well. (t/n: AS EXPECTED OF UMEMIYA’S BIGGEST SIMP. ALSO THE AUDIENCE LAUGHING HERE IS SUPER LOUD LMAO)

Nirei: Eh?

Hiiragi: Ohh, Sugishita praised Nirei.

Suo: That’s great, Nirei-kun!

Nirei: A ha ha ha ha ha… (very robotically)

Sakura: Speaking of, is what you’re wearing your costume?

Sugishita: Huuuuuuh?

Suo: Sugishita-kun is… a ghost?

💙Umemiya💙: Oh! You’ve got it right, Suo! Sugishita is wearing the sheet ghost that I produced! (t/n: please go back to gardening Umemiya this is not your forte)

Sakura: Sheet ghost… Isn’t that just a piece of cloth? *snickering very loudly*

Sugishita: Huh?!

💙Umemiya💙: Eh? Look carefully! It has a face!

Nirei: Yes, you can definitely see something that looks like eyes there!

Sugishita: What’s strange?!

Nirei: Eek!! Nothing is strange at all! The costume created by Umemiya-san is amazing I’m sorryyyyyyy.

💙Umemiya💙: Come on Sugishita! Play nice! (t/n: he’s whispering this part like he’s speaking to his pet dog www) Oh, for the rest of you guys, we’ve prepared costumes too, so don’t worry!

Sakura: Huh?!

Nirei: Is it ok if we dress up too?

💙Umemiya💙: Of course! There’s costumes and sweets and delicious food, that’s what Halloween is about!

Hiiragi: The last one isn’t part of it though. (t/n: this might be a mistranslation, do feel free to let me know if this is wrong)

Sakura: Why do I need to dress up too?! I’m not doing it!! (t/n: you are so going to do it)

[shortbreadly]

people have asked so i will deliver: a link for all the first seven saw scripts for you to overanalyse at your leisure

now you can read shit like this from the comfort of your own home:

[wonderjinx]

we have a canon valentine's date

[innytoes]

Or, more accurately:

More under the cut:

[lucabyte]

hi im back

[castielsupernatural]

i think it was FIFTEEN ‘omitted’s 😳

you can be OMITTED fifteen times but you’re only gay once

[charmac]

This is my favourite block of dialogue of all time

[watmalik]

If you pay close attention you might hear Noeul throwing Fort under the bus for not following the script…again 🤭