#John mcclane imagines

[lightthewaybackhome]

[vulpinesaint]

becoming a john wick fanboy :) i get the whole american male action film star thing now i'm totally into it

[calicojack1718]

The Rich Inner World of Autism, Its Gift to the World

Autistic people are obsessed with our weird obsessions. Endless hours are spent imagining them. What if, we could harness all of that imagining and make it some productive in the work place or classroom?

April Fools! It’s Autism What? Month, Week, Day… I stumbled during the month of April and didn’t post a weekly article concerning autism. While it is frustrating to me personally, it is not surprising. Many things can derail my plans, the tiniest weakest breeze, a small drop of water, a whiff of faint soap. Really, just about anything. A hair that catches my attention. Anywho, considering I’m a…

[johnwickb1tsch]

I'm with @discoscoob Die Hard is the best Christmas movie (besides Home Alone 😆) Imagine a Keanuverse AU where you work at the Nakatomi tower, and during the Christmas party armed terrorists led by Donaka Mark (Hans Gruber) 🤭🤭 take you all hostage.

But wait! Your ex boyfriend Jack Traven (John McClane) just happened to be dropping by, trying to bring you a little present to patch things up...

Good thing he didn't walk in on you under the mistletoe with your co-worker Kevin Lomax 🤭🤭 (Harry Ellis).

Tom Ludlow is running ground support with the LAPD (Sgt Al Powell)

Uh oh. The FBI is here. Special Agent Johnny Utah, reporting to make things worse...😆 (Agent Johnson or Johnson...)

Is...John Wick one of Donaka's paid guns?😱😱

Jack Traven is a man of action, determined to do anything he has to, to get you out alive. He picks off the bad guys one by one...while REALLY pissing Donaka off.

Donaka Mark takes a twisted liking to you. He decides to take you with him, as a hostage and to amuse himself taming your sassy mouth.

But not if Jack Traven has anything to say about it...

Oh snap! Yipee ki yah mutherfucker!!!

Yaaaaaah you're back together! 😆😆

The end...

[wehangout]

Another @shamelessdvdcommentary requested by the wonderful @suzy-queued with questions made by the amazing @callivich! This one is for Slick back My Hair (You know the Devil's in There)! These are a lot of fun, so hit me up if you want to see this for a different fic 😘

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

Wrote it in 2015! It’s a long one-shot, and I think my second ever shameless big bang.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

Okay. Took me a minute. I knew this was inspired by a one-shot I wrote for GW2015 that has since been taken down, but I also knew the one-shot was inspired by something and it took forever to go back and figure it out. Anyway, the initial one-shot was inspired by the Day 7 theme of “Imagine Your OTP – go to the website http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/ and choose a prompt!”. I don’t recall what the exact prompt was (I think digging a grave together), BUT apparently I still have the one-shot posted here on tumblr if you wanna read it! So, yeah, the Big Bang fic was inspired by this one-shot which was inspired by GW2015. Phew. That was a novel on its own

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

Mickey. Because I am me.

What was your favourite scene to write?

I’m not sure, but reading back, I really like the scenes with side characters as assasins. Sheila, Jimmy, and Angela. Fun stuff.

How did you come up with the title?

Ugh. This was back when iTunes was a thing lmao. I basically went through all my music, picking out songs I thought might fit the fic’s plot, then went through the lyrics.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

Two! I had fake IDs with the names John Foley and Axel McClane which is a reference to John McClane and Axel Foley – Die Hard and Beverly Hills Cop respectively. And I also had this line “Two inches to the right and it would’ve hit your fucking heart, Ian.” "Two inches to the left and it would have missed me completely” which was reference to The Mighty Ducks. Only one reader picked up on these lol.

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

The Terry fight scene. And, honestly, I just pushed through it.

Favourite line in the story?

Okay, the “My hero” continuation, but also, back in 2015, I wrote, word for word, “Knew you’d come.” I mean, it’s Ian saying it, but obvi why it’s a fave lmao

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

I wouldn’t call them twists, but the little surprises that turn up along the way – Sheila being a badass, the texter being Mandy.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

At the end, where Mickey goes to save Ian. Ian’s “goodbye” is legit. Dude was sure they (at least he) was going to die.

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

It’s very quick. I’d probably add more depth to it. (also the title shh)

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

I’ve considered it, but one half of the dynamic duo gets taken in this one. What other plot could there be?

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

I think I did the big Oh moment in this, along with a few others. I think that’s about it.

If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?

This is definitely not my most popular, lol, but I appreciate the love it’s received!

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Oh, always excited

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

I did! Again, this was back in 2015 when my pal Ella @hubrisandwax was still around. We had similar time zones, so we’d Skype and write at night (poetry, bitch), and have our own little sprints. She was my cheerleader and beta!

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

I know this is an Ian and Mickey romance, but I actually preferred the scenes after Ian was taken. Getting into Mickey’s head when he’ll do literally anything to get Ian back? Including torture and murder his own brother? That shit was fun.

[psygull]

What action movie protags do you think would make good ponies? Imagining all these big guys as little ponies is great

REALLY GREAT ASK. ANY ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER CHARACTER DEFINITELY...also less of a Big Action Guy but i'm a big fan of Lance Henriksen and i think he'd make a good pony. also BLADE from BLADE

WAIT. DIE HARD PONIES. horse John McClane would be incredibly funny. hans gruber pony too

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Just had a random thought. While thinking about the “Indiana Jones” original trilogy, I’ve developed a sort of newfound appreciation for the casting of Harrison Ford. My thoughts haven’t necessarily changed on this character, I still think Indy is fun but not that complex of a character, it’s just that now I imagine casting the character wasn’t the easiest thing in the world.

What Indy lacks in complexity, he makes up for sheer leading man charisma. This is a role where you absolutely need someone who can be able to act without saying anything. Because Indy has to be both:

1) convincing as an Everyman protagonist, in that he’s vulnerable and relatable enough that you can convince the audience that he’s not superhuman and is just a regular guy.

2) the coolest man who has ever lived. Someone who can walk into frame and exude “Yeah, I’m that guy” energy.

Harrison Ford really did have that level of charisma where he can be relatable and vulnerable enough to convince you he’s the underdog, but also make you think he’s the coolest person ever. I’ve tried imagining some other leading actors in the role and, honestly, it makes you realize that Indiana as a character needs more than just a handsome leading man.

Arnold Schwarzenegger wouldn’t have been able to convince you he’s an Everyman protagonist. Sylvester Stallone is better at playing more vulnerable, complicated characters like Rambo and Rocky. Michael Biehn is good at the underdog role, but not necessarily at being the cool guy. Keanu Reeves, while I love the guy to death, is too wooden to be the charming, cool guy (he’s better off at comedy and darker roles anyways). Kurt Russell and Clint Eastwood were close, but I think they’re better off at being action hero badasses. Bruce Willis, I think he’s similar to Keanu in that he’s better off at comedy and darker roles (even his most famous action movie role as John McClane just shows he excels in being comedic, not necessarily being the cool guy).

The actors who I felt could’ve done Indiana Jones justice, aside from Harrison Ford, were Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Denzel Washington, and Charlie Cox (Daredevil convinced me he could be the Everyman protagonist, She-Hulk convinced me he could pull off the cool guy role). And, if South Korea made the Indiana Jones movies, Won Bin came to mind.

EDIT: I just realized. Pedro Pascal! Just imagine a combination of Din Djarin, Joel Miller and Oberyn Martell.

I think “roguish charm” is what I’m getting at here. It’s actually quite hard to pull off the more I thought about it. For example, while I like David Harbour and his character of Jim Hopper, I don’t think Harbour can pull off roguish charm. I think that’s why Hopper came off so hostile and combative in Stranger Things season 3; Duffer Bros wrote him as Indiana Jones-like, but the end result was more off-putting than charming. As another bad example; Sean Penn in the movie “Shanghai Surprise”. That’s probably the worst example at an attempt at roguish charm.

Anyways, I’m curious. Which actor do you think could’ve pulled this role off convincingly?

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

To clarify: This is not a case of both universes existing simultaneously. This is an inexplicably-dropped-into-an-entirely-different-universe crossover.

This is not necessarily about which is your favorite character out of these (although it could be. Who am I to tell you what to do here). This is about what would be the most chaotic, the most cursed, the most barely-justifiable plot-wise. The worst, if you will.

And, since there are far more than ten characters I can imagine dumping into the world of Batman and the Justice League with no valid reasoning, there will be more.

More (or less) cursed options available here

[bearpillowmonster]

Garfield Movie Pitch

*sigh* seems like a lot of people didn't like this one so let me try and pitch a new one.

First of all, let's cast JSchlatt. I don't like Frank Welker as him (I like Frank just not as him), he sounds miserable but too monotone, more or less the same as Jon Barnard before him. Chris Pratt is different enough but it's just Chris Pratt. So I think there's a balance to strike.

I even want to change his color palette. I like the grunge look as it gets dirty like that picture but when it's not, I want it to be neon orange like he's wearing a safety vest.

I want his personality to be consistent. An introvert type that stays in all day, hisses at the sunlight like a vampire, peeks through blinds when someone walks by. He doesn't care for fans, he just wants to live a simple life in his swamp- I mean! Home.

We can keep our opening with Garfield's origins, I'm not personally a fan but I understand why it's there, baby Garfield and all, marketing.

John is basically his agent, taking phone calls, setting up pictures, etc (afterall he's based on Jim Davis) Garfield is already known by everyone, he's a superstar, he has merch. His own cups, plushes, even telephones. But his work has slowed down. Garfield's not "old news", he's still known and he's not looking to be relevant, he has other 'imitators' already doing that, Grumpy Cat for example. He didn't just have lasagna stacks, he had money stacks.

He's not really old news, he's still there and everyone knows him but he sort of has a trash factor about him. You see, he hasn't put any work into his fame or stardom, nobody's been buying new merch, he's just been the same old boring Garfield living his day to day. His merch gets raggy, it's so old, everyone's already had it in their basements for years. All this fame and he's still lonely.

It sets up John to get busier and busier, less time for Garfield as he makes his living. As time's gone on, Odie's appeared and Nermal and Jon gets married to Liz, some to keep him less lonely.

He's a tsundere and doesn't want to admit that he misses him but he awaits his return. When it comes Monday again, John has to leave again. Sometimes every day seems like Monday because he'll have to work weekends.

His journey is based around stopping those endless Mondays. Sounds sad but that's the point, Garfield has depression that's never been diagnosed. He goes to the vet after some weird stuff happening to him and the vet tells him that it's stress. They try to come to the root of that stress to which Garfield eventually realizes by flipping channels on tv and seeing a bunch of references "John Connor" "John Rambo" "John McClane", he can't escape it but there's nothing that they can do about it, Jon still has to work, he still has to pay bills, there's no lead way, he tries getting another job but can't, this is what he's known for now, he's too prolific.

They try hiring someone to do the job for them but the boat sinks because now Jon is depressed being home all the time, he doesn't know what to do with his time, he can't live like Garfield because he's not him. He just loves making cartoons, that's why he started, that's why he took on that role in the first place and got Garfield popularized. No other comic does it for him.

Garfield doesn't even know where exactly Jon works but Nermal suggests checking LinkedIN, but given that his corporation spans the globe, Garfield has to venture outside and find him. Jon will also become trapped at his job so he can't go home, like Severance, going through mazes and losing what day it is. The one coworker will read a book called "I didn't know I was burned out."

During Garfield's adventure, he sees people that he knows nothing about and apparently nobody knows anything about him, he's just a chosen icon to represent. I imagine him going to Mexico, dressed in hat and poncho, expecting a desert, only to realize that it's a lot more than that. It's a civilization and these people know him, speaking Spanish but he can't speak it. There's graffiti of him in places that he's never even heard of.

Garfield gives up a few places in and decides to go to the source to stop not just Jon's Mondays but America's. Washington D.C.

The villain tricks him into thinking he likes Mondays but he finds out it's actually a Tuesday, he just overslept.

Also everyone who works on this movie will work a 4 day work week to further drive the narrative.

[defat1]

Die Hard 6: Dig Your Own Grave

Had a dream last cycle and @frankly-ludicrous begged me to tell Tumblr so here goes.

Imagine a world where Die Hard ended just slightly differently. Hans Gruber, terrorist turned failed heist mastermind, escapes dramatically with a quip to McClane that he'll have his revenge. Christmas is saved, the movie ends.

In my dream, John McClane and his buddy, oddly also bald, openly bisexual, and entirely too ride-or-die energy, Actual Mark Wahlberg as Mark Wahlberg, are on a vacation to Paris. Not sure where, there were catacombs, it doesn't matter. There's a masquerade wedding set to take place in the catacombs, they were probably there for that. They're getting some food and chatting about how hard the last few decades have been on McClane, Marky Mark is fully manic talking about some wild events, it quickly becomes apparent that they have history.

Bomb goes off. Everyone ducks for cover, McClane starts doing the thing he apparently has been doing for a while.

(My dreams are very cinematic, I swear this is exactly how it went)

It soon becomes apparent, as McClane mows through one terrorist after another, that these guys aren't exactly upper crust professionals. He finally gets injured by a guy who is, inexplicably, holding two hunting rifles akimbo and firing from the hip. As McClane retreats, we cut to our villain, who we finally find out is a very tired, very very upset Japanese man who is doing a passable imitation of Alan Rickman. Then you realize, as he starts yelling at his men and expositing, that this is Hans Gruber, 2 decades later, and this is the latest movie of an entire series of Die Hard movies where Hans Gruber is the villain and John McClane is that pest that fate keeps putting in his way.

John McClane isn't chasing Gruber anymore; that probably stopped in the third movie. Hans tells his men that he got plastic surgery and worked on a master plan for 10 years in Japan, and it just so happened that John McClane was there that weekend for some award ceremony, and Hans Gruber lost another elite team. Hans Gruber is out of elite teams, and he is trying to impress upon these morons that if they don't do exactly as he says, all of them are dead, just like everyone else who crossed John Motherfucking McClane.

The movie-dream continued a while. Mark Wahlberg lived through the initial mass shooting and is way, extremely too hyped to help McClane, up to and including offering to be a human knockout gas bomb delivery system in the form of surrendering himself as a hostage. Gruber frantically searches for the Mcguffin he is here for while imagining the grim reaper Willis around every corner and curve in the catacombs. McClane is leaning towards the school of Tropic Thunder instead of John Wick. It's a blast, like a fragment of the 80s got blasted into orbit, glassed on re-entry, and landed in the modern box office reeking of gunsmoke and holiday spirit. And it's clear the series are holiday movies, each a different major holiday, and this one, where McClane has officially become Gruber's reaper, is clearly the Halloween entry, an end to a franchise that paints the hero as the horror movie slasher he is.

Then I woke up. Even I don't get the ending to the Die Hard series we deserved. I could have made up an ending, but I think I'll leave it up to you. Imagine a world where Die Hard wasn't trying to be serious, and end it how you want.

[cannibalcoyote]

Simon Gruber: Am I Worth Anything?

Imagine being John McClane's youngest daughter, and running away to Germany after your parents start fighting again and your dad moves back to New York. What happens when Simon Gruber finds you on the streets:

-This is set after the second movie, but before the 3rd. I have the reader at age 12-

They'd started arguing again, everything was going so good too, Dad had moved here to LA and everything. I don't know what caused all of this, I thought they were happy, I thought everything was fixed... but I'm wrong as per usual.

Mom has us staying with her, but I'm honesty feeling so alone, even with my siblings around. They both are a few years older than me, so they either bully or ignore me, but neither is my friend. Dad was helping us figure this out, but that all went to waste after he left. They started being cold again, acting as if I don't exist. I know this separating is effecting them as well, but at least they have each other, I don't even have mom here to confide in since she's always working.

I try to call dad sometimes, but he's always drunk and usually thinks I'm mom, sometimes he doesn't even give me the chance to talk, just picks up the phone and starts cursing. He's never treated me like that before, sure, sometimes he just picks up the phone and responds that way before knowing it's me, but is that really an excuse? The separation must be hurting him as well... I wish I could help him, but I don't even know how to help myself. 

Sometimes, late at night, I think about what occurred leading up to dad leaving. I remember them shouting at each other, trying to get my brother and sister to take sides. They choose mom either way, I just stood in-between, how could they make me choose? The looks of disdain coming from all sides made me wither, I felt hated, unwanted. Maybe things would be better if I leave?

_______

I left home, it may sound really stupid, but maybe things will be better if I stay at dad's for a little bit; surely things couldn't be worse than staying with my mother and siblings.

The train ride was costly and took around 3 days for me to arrive in New York; my packing was light, just my back pack with a few changes of clothing, all my savings, my ID, some food and a notepad and pen. I didn't want to pack to much because it would make it harder for me to slip out of the house unnoticed, so I just stuffed my backpack and went for it - I probably should've packed other things, but it's too late now.

New York was interesting, I was quite young when we moved to Los Angeles, so being back is a new experience. The buildings are tall and overbearing, they make you feel so small, and the crowded, busy sidewalks only emphasize that point. 

I pull out the map from my pocket, dotting what street I'm on, and then charting the best way to get to my father's apartment. His apartment is a bit away from the station, about 20ish blocks, but I've got enough daylight to make it before nightfall.

Before beginning my trek I pull out my walkman, restarting the CD, it's the Station to Station album by David Bowie - I had to beg for a whole 2 months before my father finally gave in and bought me the walkman, he later gifted me this CD upon noticing how Bowie is my favorite musician. It's a nice reminder that my father cares for me, whenever I'm feeling lonely, I'll listen to this album.

I'm weaving my way through people, trying my best not to run into anyone. The sun seems to be setting a lot sooner than I thought it would, but that must be due to the time difference, I must've forgotten to account for that. Either way, I'm over half way there and the sun is just beginning to set, that last thing I want is to be caught after dark on the streets of New York - I especially don't want this as I am currently an unattended child.

I finally arrive at my fathers apartment, pressing the buzzer at the door, hoping he'll be home and let me in.

"Who is it?" I hear an annoyed voice answer, but I still sigh in relief.

"Dad?" My voice sounds so small, hopefully he still heard me.

"Y/N?" I don't know how to describe it, but it seems like so many emotions smashed into one word: relief, anger, happiness, anxiousness. So many that they overwhelm me.

"Yeah, it's me, can you let me in?" I don't get a verbal response, but hear the door being unlocked. I push open the heavy door, making my way inside the lobby. I head over to the elevator and push the up button, waiting patiently for the doors to open. I'm startled by the abrupt opening of the door from the stairwell, staring at the door as I watch my father come bustling out of it. He looks tense and rushed - a mess if I'm being honest, looking around quickly before stilling when he spots me. 

His movements are fast, he catches me off guard when he pulls me in unexpectedly for a tight hug. I'm surprised, but accept the contact, it's been so long since I've seen my father after all. As he holds me, I can't help but smell the alcohol on him, though I know mentioning it could be disastrous.

We separate and head into the now awaiting elevator, the ride up was quick but surprisingly quiet; I expected some sort of conversation, but maybe he's processing? The walk from the elevator to his apartment felt uncomfortably tense though, like something suddenly angered him. Either way, it made me feel uneasy.

As soon as I enter, I go to speak, but am cut off by the harsh slamming of the door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" He questions in a raised voice, he's angry, that much I can tell.

"I-" I begin to respond, but have no time as I am immediately cut off.

"Leaving without telling your mother, wandering the streets of New York at night! How the hell did you even get here from LA, no airline would let you board unattended?"

"I-I used the amtrak." I explain in a shaky voice, averting my eyes from his gaze and staring down at the dirty floor.

"What were you even thinking? Coming over here?" His voice is solemn now, and it makes me more uncomfortable than when he was yelling.

"I thought that... maybe I could stay here for a while?" I respond sheepishly, but hoping - no, praying - that he'll let me stay.

"Stay? Here, with me?" He questions incredulously.

"Please?" I whisper, glancing at him hopefully.

"What? No, you can't stay with me." He looks at me like I'm crazy, I suddenly feel very out of place, like I can't find anywhere that I'm allowed to exist. It's an astounding experience, especially when I've always felt so comfortable with my father.

"But..." I begin, trailing off as I try to think of what to say.

"But what? Don't tell me, you thought you could leave your mother and come live with me, that it would be as easy as showing up on my doorstep unannounced?" I can tell he's making fun of me, his tone gives it away.

"I-" I begin once again, only this time I'm interrupted.

"Well it's not! I thought you were smarter than that? You're going back to your mother's first thing tomorrow, you understand?" His shouting is scary, he's never acted like this towards me, though I have seen a few interactions like this between him and my mother.

"Dad, no, I want to stay here!" I all but beg, wide eyed at his words.

"I don't want you staying here, I don't want you anywhere near here!" My hearing goes silent after that, but there's an obnoxious ringing... Did he just say that? That he wants nothing to do with me, that he doesn't want me anywhere near him?

He says a few more things, but I don't care enough to hear them, all I can manage to do is stare straight forward in a daze. I travelled so far, but not even my father wants me around anymore.

I was right, I should've just disappeared; I'm the catalyst of every fight, had I never been born, maybe they would still be together?

I don't remember much that happened after, just my father rolling his eyes as he drags his palm tiredly over his face. He walks me to the spare bedroom and tell me to get some rest, but I don't think I'll be able to sleep after the words we traded.

I'm not quite sure how long I lay in that bed before I hear my father talking from the living room, I tiptoe out of bed and look through the cracked door, he seems to be on the phone.

"You think I wanted her here! Listen Holly, I'm sending her back on the train tomorrow, alright? Make sure she doesn't comeback to New York." He sounds tired, annoyed, upset... I guess he really doesn't want me here, but I know my mother doesn't want me either.

I wait until my father's all but drunk himself to death, it's around 0100 in the morning before he's passed out on the couch, empty bottles on the coffee table. I cling tightly onto my backpack, walking to the front door as quietly as possible, opening the door slowly before sliding into the hallway and closing it with a dull 'click.'

The ride down was eerie, and it became even more so when I exited the apartment building. The darkness enveloping New York made the environment look quite scary, especially with only the light from the full moon and some blinking lamp posts to light my way. There was still some people out walking, most were either drunk or homeless, so I tried to pass by silently and unnoticed; my goal is to reach the airport before sunrise and buy a ticket out of the country, anywhere as long as it's not here.

I would've preferred to hail a taxi, but I can't risk not having the funds to afford a ticket, though neither of my parents want me, they still have an obligation to find me. Since I'll be paying for the flight in cash, there'll be no tracking where I went, unless the person selling me the ticket remembers my name, face, and flight destination; but I highly doubt they'll check the airports first.

When I finally arrive, the sun is just beginning to raise above the horizon, the streets are getting a little more busy with 6am traffic, and there is now light foot traffic along the sidewalks. 

I was coming up on the airport, I can tell because the planes kept getting louder and louder. I'd been thinking during my entire walk on where I wanted to go, it would be suspicious for a 12 year old to ask what flights are available to anywhere, especially without an adult present. 

I've chosen to go to Germany because I've always loved the language and have wanted to visit since I was 5; I've also formulated a story should I be asked any questions. I'm going to say that I'll be visiting family in Cochem, Germany. I remember reading about that beautiful place in a travel magazine, it looked nice enough and I also can't remember any other place. If they want more info, I'll say I'm specifically visiting my Uncle who lives there, that I'll be staying there for the summer. They shouldn't be asking much after that though, so I should be all good.

I push open the terminal doors, and immediately locate the booth where you can purchase a ticket. The lady behind the desk looks nice, she sounds polite as she finishes up talking with another employee before turning to me. She looks a little surprised to see just me, but she quickly recovers.

"Hello, how can I help you?" She questions sweetly.

"Hi there, I was wondering if you have any flights today heading over to Cochem, Germany?" I respond, I try to sound mature, but I'm not sure if it worked as I notice her raise her eyebrow humorously.

"Well, let me check real quick." She clicks a few times on her computer, tilting her head as she shuffles.

"There aren't any flights to Cochem since they don't have an airport." She states.

"What does that mean?" I ask, scrunching my eyebrows as I think my plan may be ruined.

"It just means we find the closest airport to their, and that looks to be Frankfurt Hahn Airport; it's only about 15 miles away." She states nonchalantly, but I'm sighing internally. 15 miles, after how long of a flight? I'll need to get a map too if I don't want to get lost.

"We have a flight leaving at around 0900 with a few seat openings." She continues, showing me the available seats.

"Alright, that works." I state, handing her the cash for the ticket, waiting as she prints it out and hands it to me. I smile in thanks before wandering off to check in and head to my boarding area, I've got a while before my flight, so I guess I'll make myself comfortable.

I don't remember the flight too well, I mainly slept through the flight, having sparse moments of wakefulness when they brought us food and drinks. The people I was seated beside were a kindly older couple, they kept me company and checked in on me; I think they just saw a child alone on the flight and wanted to make sure I wasn't scared or anything.

They would try to talk with me, but I think they realized how tired I was and just let me sleep. They were rather nice, even walking with me off the plane before they separated to go to baggage claim; I didn't need to as I only had my carry-on.

I quickly bought a map from the convenience shop in the airport before heading off on my trek, its around 5am and the sun has yet to rise. The temperature is around 60ºF, so I'm not too cold, I actually welcome the chill as the movement will warm me up in no time.

_______

I've been in Cochem for around 3 weeks now, and I must say that I really should have thought this through. I swapped all my USD over into euros, but I barely have enough to afford food everyday, not to mention I have no place to stay, hotels are far to expensive to even think of. Learning german has also been more complicated than I thought, I assumed it would be easier since I'm immersed in the culture, but it's all just been one big shock for both my body and mind.

Some of the shop owners have started to recognize me; I think they have their assumptions and know I'm homeless, sometimes they'll give me something to eat free of charge. I also can't risk speaking to them in english, I can't risk anyone knowing I'm from the United States, that would only heighten their suspicion on why I'm here instead of in the US. So, for the time being, I'll just have to come off as mute until I learn the language.

_______

It's been a particularly harsh past few days, the temperature has been dropping lower than usual, and my deteriorating clothes haven't been doing much to conserve my body heat. The local children have also taken to terrorizing me, I think they've been making fun of my clothing and muteness (I am now able to mostly understand them after some tutoring from a friendly shop owner).

Sometimes, they'll try to grab my bag, I've had a group of them chase after me just because I wouldn't let them steal my backpack. Their parents either don't notice or don't care, either way, I'm on my own.

They haven't caught me yet, and I can't say what they would do to me if they did. Would they just grab my bag and leave? Or would they want to hurt me for having the audacity to run? Maybe they just chase me because they find it funny, or maybe I have good reason to evade them?

It was actually during one of these chases that I ran into the man that would come to replace my father over time.

It was routine at this point, a group of 6 or so kids would spot me and give chase, I would see them coming and take off.  So far so good, I'm dodging the adults that go on with their lives, trying not to get hit by cars as I sprint across the road.

I'm doing really good actually, I turn around to catch a glimpse of them, they got stopped at the road by passing traffic, yes!

I look forward just as I turn a corner, running straight into someone, they are larger than me, barely being affected by the collision. I, however, had toppled down to the ground , scraping up my palms on the ground as the flail out to catch me.

Tears well in my eyes at the stinging pain, I can feel as the grit and dirt dig into the wounds as they rub against the cobblestone. I quickly glance up and see a tall man with short blonde hair, his eyes are a striking blue; they make me think of my father's eyes, how his aren't as striking as this man's.

I observe his expression, his eyes widen only slightly, showing his surprise about being barreled into so unexpectedly. He looks very professional in what I can best describe as a business casual suit, but something about him makes him seem like more than what he shows. This strange man, he holds an air of authority, power, I could almost describe him as threatening.

My thoughts are drawn away by the trampled footsteps behind me. I quickly scramble up from the floor, ignoring the pain in my hands as I snap my gaze to the corner I had rounded. I look just as the others come around, they halt as well at the sight of me and this adult. 

I lock eyes with the groups leader and immediately begin sprinting down the road, I can hear them giving chase immediately, shouting that no one cares enough about me to help. The tears already welled up in my eyes begin to cascade down my face; they're right, not even my own family wanted, how could I expect that strangers from a different country would want me either?

In my moments of self-pity, I step into a crevice, I was unprepared for the change in level and feel my knee giving out. I tumble to the ground in a flurry, scraping my limbs against the harsh ground. I curse at myself, attempting to stand, but this fall may have done me in, my legs feel like they are on fire, and my left ankle feels heavy and stiff, as though it was being strangled.

Looking up, I notice that I've fallen in a rather secluded area of town, almost no foot traffic here at all, so these miscreants will have a field day, I wonder what they'll actually do now that they've finally caught me.

They surround me, two of them ripping my backpack from me despite my struggle to keep hold of it. The leader marches forward and shoves me, allowing them to grab the bag away. They unzip it before turning it upside down, shaking everything out onto the floor.

We watch as clothes, food, paper and pens tumble out. They look disappointed when nothing else appears, what were they expecting, cash? As if I have any left...

The leader and his lackeys roughly lift me from the ground, having to hold me up since my legs have stopped functioning. Just as they're about to speak, a stern voice erupts from behind them.

"Aufhören (Stop)." They all freeze, the boys looking back to see who interrupted them. I look as well, though it took a lot of effort.

There, standing imposingly a few steps away is the man with the blue eyes, I ran into him, what is he doing stopping these boys from hurting me?

"Was (What)?" The leader questions, he tries to sound stern as well, but I can see him shrinking away when the man steps closer.

"Verpisst euch, lauft zu euren Müttern (Fuck off, go run to your mothers)." He growls in a deep tone, I can feel the disgust in his voice when speaking to these boys. 

They apparently don't need to be told twice, they release me, allowing me to crumple to the floor as they bolt away in the opposite direction. I feel dazed after everything that happened, but looking down at the ground, I can't help but feel despair swelling in my throat. Among the content of my bag was a picture of me and my parents, they're smiling and happy, and so was I. That was our last photo together before the fighting started again.

I reach out and grab the crumpled photograph, gently bringing it up so I could cradle it. I glance at the stranger as he steps closer before kneeling down. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't for him to begin collecting my belongings and putting them back into my bag. 

I can tell he has his suspicions upon viewing my dirty clothing, the toothpaste and toothbrush, as well as the bits of old food wrapped up for later. He finishes zipping up the bag before gently placing it in front of me.

"Wo ist deine Mutter? Dein Vater (Where is your mother? Your father)?" He questions with a concerned tone, I glance into his eyes before quickly looking away. He's very intimidating, even when he's being so nice.

"Weg (Gone)." I reply solemnly. My parents may not be dead, but I don't plan on ever going back, they're better off without me.

"Nun, wer ist für Sie zuständig (Well, who is responsible for you)?" He asks again, hoping that someone is out there looking after me. I sadly, can't give him that answer, it would be wrong to lie to the man who saved me.

"Nur ich (Only me)." I respond, avoiding eye contact at all costs. I'm terrified, what if he turns me into the authorities, or puts me in an orphanage? Or worse, what if he takes me back to New York! 

"Nur Sie? Hier draußen (Just you? Out here)?" He sounds shocked, his eyebrows scrunch up in worry, a distant look appearing in his eyes. He tilts his head in thought, of what, I'm unsure. He stands abruptly, and I'm sure he's going to leave, allow me to be alone again; but I'm the shocked one now when I notice his outstretched his hand.

I analyze it for a few seconds, wondering whether I should accept it, what happens if I do accept it? Is this a mere action of kindness before leaving me, or will this lead to more actions occurring? So many questions in my head silenced when I reach out and place my hand in his, allowing his firm grip to pull me off the floor. 

My legs are still regaining their senses, but he supports me as I try to remember how to stand. I look down at my legs and notice the scrapes and cuts along them, mostly localized around my knees as they are what I fell on during my tumble. I shift my gaze up to my hands, they are so small against his,  knuckles scraped and bleeding from sliding against the ground.

I tilt my head at them, so many injuries in such a short span of time, how will I fix them? I don't have any bandages on me, and I certainly can't afford to buy any.

"Komm, ich bringe das in Ordnung (Come on, I'll fix it)." I just nod my head, who am I to rebuke against his orders, especially after how he's treated me?

"Wie ist Ihr Name (What is your name)?" My words are slow as I try to remember what to say, I am doing better at understanding what is being said, but have trouble speaking the language. I can see the man raise an eyebrow, I almost think he won't answer me.

" Simon. Und du (Simon. And you)?" He states, walking with me through the town market, grasping my hand tighter when he notices the group of boys that had been terrorizing me cross the street.

"Y/N." I respond quietly, it's almost a whisper. It's been so long since I've spoken, let alone this much; I haven't said my name once during my stay here, so it's a strange feeling.

_______

After that day, Simon took me in, cleaned my wounds and bandaged them, gave me a hot meal to eat, and a room to rest in.

He unofficially adopted me after a year, explaining to me that I'm like a daughter to him, and that he want me to see him as my father. He didn't have to ask though, I've seen him as my father since the day we first met.

The first months were hard if I'm being honest, I had no idea how to act around a father figure, especially not after what happened with my actual dad. I was a lot more skittish, scared of maintaining eye contact, terrified by the slightest raise in his voice. Those behaviors began to melt away when I realized he wouldn't push me away, that he actually invited my company and tried to do things that I enjoyed - such as painting with me, or taking me into nature so I could write poems in the serene environment.

He asked me quite early on who my parents were and what happened. I was afraid that if he knew they were alive, that he would send me back to them; but I never was able to lie to him. I told him the truth about my parents, who they were, why I ran away, etc. He talked to me about it, and actually explained to me the dark history between his brother and my father.

He was empathetic towards me, explaining that he had similar feelings of displacement when he was staying with his family; it felt good having someone that could relate to me. He would reassure me during times of self-hatred, comforting me, stating that I was never the problem, that my parents should've never made me feel that way. He promised me that he will never allow them to treat me like that again.

The adoption was a quiet affair, he had documents for me falsified so that it stated I was a German citizen that he adopted out of the orphanage.

Yes, I know they were falsified, and I know all about his side of business; he told me the night beforehand what type of person he was, as well as the types of jobs he does. I'll admit, he caught me off guard since he's quite amiable, but I suppose everyone has sides that no one understands.

Some of his close friends that he works with were there to witness my adoption, they were polite and friendly as well. I had never felt more accepted in my life than I did when I was with Simo–my father, and I don't plan on ever letting go of this feeling. 

[doubleaspectrum]

Oldboy Hallway Fight Analysis

So, I recently watch Oldboy. The 2003 version, not the remake. Seriously, why do people even make those anyways? Remakes only make sense if the original creation sucks and you’re giving things another try to fix it. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Right? Well, OLDBOY AIN’T BROKE!

Sorry about the tangent, I just really don’t get why media outlets keep trying to improve on something that already worked. Most of the times they make things worse. Heck, if anyone can find an example that improved on a success, let me know.

Okay, I’m done this time. So, the reason I was pointed to Oldboy is because my eldest sibling showed me the famous hallway fight scene. At the time, I didn’t see how it ended, they stopped at the first moment Dae-su is knocked down and the gangsters start to crowd him.

So, of course, I figured the obvious answer, no matter how skilled Dae-su could be he’d lose the fight. Skill doesn’t account for much if you’re overwhelmed. Imagine my surprise when I was told that he wins. My jaw dropped. How could he win with those odds?! Only someone like John Wick could win and even then, he’d being using a gun! Well, when I saw the scene itself in its full glory I understood why, and my goodness I loved it!

Now, to go with the beginning parts I saw, they were good, but they were also rather par for the course when it comes to action movies.

There’s a degree of martial arts with Dae-su dancing his way into the crowd.

There’s a part where he fights pragmatically by taking a human shield.

And when he first gets crowded, he gets right back up and starts charging the crowd.

And while this is great, I’m sad to say this isn’t unique. Any other action movie character can do this. There’s no shortage of martial arts films, and we’ve seen heroes like John McClane and John Wick (there’s no shortage of Johns either) tank plenty of hits and manage to keep walking on both feet before the movie ends. So, what is it that makes Oldboy so unique? Don’t worry, I’m getting there.

The first part that really impressed me was Dae-su getting knocked down the second time. You know what he does?

He slams his hammer into his opponents’ feet!

Now this is a stroke of genius! From what I’ve seen of hydraulic press videos, everything likes to hold its shape before enough force makes the substance break in its weakest spot. This applies to the process of hammering a nail. Now, you may get those situations where the nail proves to be the weaker substance and you’ve got a bent nail, but ideally the wooden board is the weaker substance and it gives way when slammed. Now with these principles in mind, tell me what happens when a human foot is stuck between a swinging hammer and a concrete floor.

Now, if a hammer was hitting a floating limb, it would hurt but would go with the swing, but with the concrete floor as a brace, where does the force go but into the foot? It was at this point I realized that Daes-su wasn’t just fighting harder than a gang of thugs, he was outsmarting them!

On a slight side note, I have read a copy of Sun Tzu’s the Art of War, specifically without commentary. So, I remember the advice that you should know both the enemy and yourself to judge your capacity for victory. So, when I say that Dae-su was outsmarting his opponents, I made sure to judge their intelligence accordingly.

The next key part of the fight is that Dae-su gets stabbed in the back and collapses.

This lulls his opponents into a false sense of security, and they start to wonder if he’s dead. One important thing to mention, they don’t take the knife out. Now, if you have basic medical knowledge (or in my case, have read the Worst Aid page on TV Tropes) then you’ll know that what kills someone isn’t putting the knife into the body, it’s the blood loss when the knife is removed. So, when the thugs start wondering if they’ve killed a guy without removing the knife, you can assess how smart they are.

This actually plays into the greatest part of my analysis. You see, Dae-su takes everyone by surprise when he gets up and keeps fighting; from there the atmosphere changes. Suddenly, the gang doesn’t rush him all at once anymore.

They keep their distance, they back away more often, and push each other.

All around, they don’t want to get close to him. And that’s when I understand, none of them are particularly smart so as far as they can tell, some guy they just killed has come back to life and is still kicking their asses! To put it simply, they’re scared. And that makes all the difference. Suddenly this isn’t a simple fight anymore, Dae-su has engaged several opponents at once in psychological warfare, and he’s winning.

Thus, my question was answered. How did Dae-su win the fight? He wasn’t just a juggernaut or a martial artist like any other action hero; he won through tactical genius. He turned unfavorable situations into brutal counterattacks, he used his enemy’s lack of intelligence to catch them off guard, and most of all, he terrified the crap out of an entire group. Normally, we’d be worried about how much sense a fight scene can make, but when I saw this fight, it clicked together and I loved it all the more.

[scribblerreviews]

Top 25 Christmas Films (15-6) (2024 Update)

15. Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (1970)

Of the retro Christmas animations, Rudolph and Frosty receive the most attention. But this stop-motion by Rankin/Bass holds a place in my heart. It tells the story of how Santa came to be through delightful songs, innovative animation, and charming characters. The story follows through a few different arcs, and the songs will stay, at least for the holiday seasons.

14. Elf (2003)

Will Ferrell movies in the 2000’s could often be hit-or-miss, with humour ranging from wild, to cringey, to downright offensive. But Elf is head and shoulders above the rest; Ferrell plays the “fish-out-of-water” role well, perhaps his best performance, and he balances comedy and sentimentality without making either feel lesser. The rest of the cast also play off each other well, and the blend of the magical Christmas story with family issues works to create a pleasant rewatch every Christmas.

13. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Is it a Halloween movie? Yes. Is it a Christmas movie? Also yes. But what’s more important is that it’s a spectacular animated movie with whimsy and darkness in tandem. Directed by Henry Selick (his debut!) who would also direct James and the Giant Peach (1996) and Coraline (2009), this innovative stop-motion animation made itself a classic through Burton’s imaginative story and Danny Elfman’s earworm tunes. Whether you choose to indulge at Halloween or Christmas, this animated classic is always a good choice.

12.  The Shop Around the Corner (1940)

Margaret Sullavan and James Stewart star in this funny and smartly scripted classic that would be the basis for Nora Ephron’s You’ve Got Mail (1998). Sullavan and Stewart are two employees at a leathergoods shop in Budapest; they can’t stand each other, but they are also anonymous letter correspondents slowly falling for each other. The script is both funny and sharp, and we get to spend time with the charming leads and amusing side characters.

11. Gremlins (1984)

Once again, I hear you saying, “This movie just uses Christmas to kickstart the plot and have neat set-dressing!”. And maybe that’s true. But sometimes, you get tired of the usual routine and want something more out-there. Joe Dante’s comedy film (written by Chris Columbus) about the gift of a Gremlin and the chaos they can cause. The 80’s effects are top notch and the score has an earworm effect. The Black Comedy vibes against the Christmas backdrop provides a number of great set-pieces, and come on, Gizmo is just too adorable to not love. 

10. The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

While Dickens’ story appears earlier on the list, the Muppets version is by far my favourite. The songs are fun, the technical puppet work spectacular, the script witty, and the feel of the movie all work wonders. Michael Caine makes a great Scrooge, and seeing the Muppets transposed into this classic story is both hilarious and charming. This is a Christmas classic that both children and adults can sit down and enjoy.

9. The Holdovers (2023)

This film, a retro throwback visually, aesthetically, and narratively, is like putting on a cozy Christmas sweater. There’s a comfortable warmness in the familiar, it’s a bit scratchy at times, and you get sad because you think about your grandma who knitted it and she passed away peacefully a few years ago. The film is a balancing act between humour and sadness, but does so with sincerity and charm to provide a movie which touches the heart with the performances and embrace of life.

8. Die Hard (1988)

Ah, the quintessential “is it really a Christmas movie?” movie. John McTiernan’s film is set during Christmas, but more than just the setting, John McClane’s adventure is a redemption of sorts (though the thematic analysis of Die Hard is surprisingly deep) and Christmas is a time for renewal and change. But whether it is or not, Die Hard is more than a mindless action flick. McTiernan’s camerawork is fantastic, always following or flowing with the action but never feeling overdone. The script keeps the action flowing with enough space to breathe in-between that also gives McClane and Gruber fantastic back-and-forth dialogue. Bruce Willis in the role of McClane, set against the 80’s muscle-men of Schwarzenegger or Stallone, was a smart move. He’s not a hulking mass of man, but a feasible yet quick-witted lead who has to use brain and brawn. And it’s hard to not talk about Alan Rickman’s fantastic performance, cementing himself as a brilliant villain actor for years to come. If you’re looking for something action but also Christmas, get ready to… Die Hard. 

7. Tokyo Godfathers (2003)

On Christmas Eve, three homeless people–a middle-aged alcoholic man, a transgender woman, and a teen runaway–find a baby in a dumpster. They decide that they should try to find this baby’s family, leading to a series of spectacular events on Christmas night. It’s not a conventional Nativity story, but this Christmas story about found family, shared struggle, and Christmas miracles is touching and heartwarming. While this Satoshi Kon film isn’t his usual tale of fiction bleeding into reality, the plot focuses on how miracles can still exist, even if they are a bit fantastical. Using beautiful animation and exaggeration, this film builds on the importance of connection and working through struggle together. This is a worthy addition to any Christmas list; frankly, Satoshi Kon’s whole filmography is worth watching.

6. It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

What else can be said about one of the most classic Christmas movies of all time? Frank Capra’s classic film gained popularity after it went into the public domain, but the sentimental, touching story is worth the watch. Jimmy Stewart is one of my favourite actors of the 1940’s, and he gives perhaps one of his best performances. The story, told through flashbacks and potential futures, is inventive and showcases how we all can make little differences that have big effects in the world and people around us. There’s also plenty of humour and while the film is sweet, it doesn’t fall into being saccharine. Whether you’ve seen it before or have never watched, there’s magic to be found in this movie where an angel can get their wings.

[kvibestudios]

Crafting Unforgettable Film Characters: Techniques and Insights

To create film personalities that make a memorable impression, comprehending the complex process of character creation is crucial. Characters need to develop, revealing more profound aspects that engage viewers. By focusing on character growth, filmmakers inject vitality into their creations, ensuring they remain memorable.

Character Development

Character Arcs: A character arc represents the transformative journey that characters experience, often captivating audiences. Consider Andy Dufresne from "The Shawshank Redemption"; his evolution from a banker to a determined prisoner exemplifies a well-crafted character arc.

Psychological Depth: Characters with complex psyches, rich motivations, and backgrounds create bonds with the audience. Max Rockatansky in "Mad Max: Fury Road," with his tormented past, illustrates the power of a detailed psychological framework. A character's history is crucial for understanding their present behavior.

Perfect characters often lead to monotony. Engaging characters, like John McClane in "Die Hard," attract us with their flaws and vulnerabilities, making them relatable and human.

Screenwriting Tips

Screenwriting goes beyond dialogue—it’s a tool to highlight character traits at every level. Distinct traits and attributes help them stand out. Think of Sam in "The Lord of the Rings," frequently addressing Frodo as “Mr. Frodo,” which subtly emphasizes their social dynamics.

Character names ought to be distinct to avoid confusion. The Bridgerton series serves as a valuable example, arranging sibling names alphabetically to prevent bewilderment. Ensure names are unique to facilitate audience connection.

Crafting Techniques

Quirks and habits give characters vividness. Indiana Jones's fear of snakes acts as a memorable quirk that integrates smoothly into the storyline. Characters' relationships often enrich narratives and unveil deeper elements of personalities. "Midnight Run" thrives through its vibrant character interactions.

Contrasting characteristics add layers to character authenticity. Imagine a hardened detective who composes poetry—such contrast invites intrigue and depth. Concurrently, consider placing characters in high-stakes situations, offering tangible goals and challenges that test their resilience.

Examples from Acclaimed Films and TV Shows

Let’s explore how New York and New Jersey productions have highlighted character depth. "The Sopranos," originating in New Jersey, explores Tony Soprano's complex range, from family man to mobster. New York’s "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" intricately examines Olivia Benson’s journey, establishing her as a timeless character study. Similarly, "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" delivers captivating arcs, depicting Midge Maisel's transition from housewife to comedian, demonstrating flawless character evolution.

Best Practices and Insights

Focus on detailed backstories.

Build psychological depth by integrating motivations within character transitions.

Enhance uniqueness through recognizable quirks.

Leverage relationships to uncover deeper narrative layers.

Drive plots by challenging characters with significant stakes.

Applying these techniques can enrich character depiction in modern filmmaking.

Bringing Techniques to Life

Conduct character interviews: Examining individual character nuances can reveal hidden traits and motivations. Develop intricate backstories that mirror their current personas. Craft contrasting traits that facilitate relatability.

Emphasize character relationships: These interactions offer narrative complexity. Establish memorable quirks, like James Bond's martini inclination, which remain in memory and propel the storyline forward.

Developing film characters capable of captivating imagination involves profound development, distinct screenwriting, and intentional crafting. By employing these strategies, onscreen characters can resonate far beyond the closing scene.

#FilmCharacters #Screenwriting #CharacterDevelopment #NYNJFilm #MemorableCharacters

Master the art of character development by visiting https://www.kvibe.com

[kingjain]

Hans Gruber Fall Nakatomi Plaza Die Hard Ugly Christmas Sweater

Yippee-ki-yay, Christmas! The Hans Gruber Ugly Christmas Sweater is more than just festive, it's a statement. This sweater isn't just about looking festive, it's about channeling the spirit of John McClane, the ultimate underdog hero.You're not just wearing an ugly Christmas sweater, you're wearing the symbol of resilience, wit, and a healthy dose of "screw the bad guys." Imagine yourself at the holiday party, surrounded by the usual suspects: the boring sweaters, the generic Santa hats, and the forced smiles.Then, you walk in.You're wearing the Hans Gruber Ugly Christmas Sweater, and you're not just blending in, you're standing out.You're a conversation starter, a beacon of holiday humor, and a subtle reminder that even amidst the chaos, there's a hero inside all of us. This sweater isn't just a fashion statement, it's a celebration of the film that redefined the holiday action genre.It's a nod to the iconic lines, the unforgettable characters, and the timeless themes of good versus evil, family, and the true meaning of Christmas. Here's why you'll love the Hans Gruber Ugly Christmas Sweater:  Make a statement: You won't be blending in with the crowd.This sweater is a bold choice for those who aren't afraid to stand out.  Spark conversations:Get ready for questions and compliments.This sweater is sure to be a talking point at any holiday gathering.  Show your love for Die Hard:Let everyone know you're a fan of the classic Christmas movie with this unique and quirky piece of apparel.  Perfect for holiday fun:Whether you're attending a party, watching a movie marathon, or just relaxing at home, this sweater will keep you feeling festive and ready to celebrate. The Hans Gruber Ugly Christmas Sweater is more than just a garment, it's a symbol of holiday spirit, resilience, and the joy of celebrating the classic films we all love.So, grab yours and prepare to have a "Yippee-ki-yay" Christmas!

Get it here : Hans Gruber Fall Nakatomi Plaza Die Hard Ugly Christmas Sweater

Home Page : tshirtslowprice.com

Related : https://kingjain.tumblr.com/post/722178716969648129/yoda-star-wars-floating-black-baseball-jersey

[adamwatchesmovies]

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Live Free or Die Hard a.k.a. Die Hard 4.0 pushed the franchise to this limits but it's a documentary compared to A Good Day to Die Hard. This fifth and final chapter is a dumb, ugly, badly written film populated with templates instead of characters. Thankfully, it's so thin and unmemorable, it passes by like nothing and then exits your memory.

In Moscow, corrupt Russian official Viktor Cagarin (Sergei Kolesnikov) is strongarming former billionaire and government whistleblower Yuri Komarov (Sebastian Koch). Unless Yuri hands over his secret files incriminating Viktor, Yuri will never see the light of day again. When his trial is interrupted by a terrorist attack, Jack McClane (Jai Courtney) pulls Yuri out of the wreckage and they go on the run. Meanwhile, NYPD detective John McClane (Bruce Willis), unaware that his son works for the CIA, travels to Russia to rescue Jack.

Remember how John McClane’s biggest obstacle in the original film was a floor covered in glass? No one in this movie does. There’s “protagonist armour” and then, there’s the forcefield around this man. At various points throughout, John survives two car crashes within the span of ten minutes and walks away from them without even dusting himself off, he pulls a piece of jagged metal shrapnel from his leg as if it’s a wooden splinter, he jumps out of a glass window without hesitation before falling through half a dozen floors of wooden scaffolding and getting up again to keep the nonsense going. If they make another one of these, they might as well have him flying around the city shooting lazer beams from his eyes. Gaining super powers would be the only thing that could happen to a man who emerges from a pool of radioactive water like it’s nothing. Even Superman has well-documented weaknesses. 2013’s John McClane is IN-VIN-CIBLE.

From the director of Max Payne and the writer of Hitman comes a film that doesn’t care about anything and who banks entirely on an audience blinded by nostalgia. When John isn’t arguing with his son and making fun of him for working for the CIA (what?), he’s the living embodiment of “The Ugly American”. Having demolished the first car he’s stolen, he walks in the middle of traffic. He nearly gets hit by a car. The driver gets out, yelling at him. What does John do? He punches this man in the face, yells at him for speaking in Russian - in Russia - and then drives off with his vehicle. This is our hero?

I’ve focussed my thoughts almost exclusively on John because he’s the only character in the film. Well, that’s being generous. He’s more of a collection of sarcastic remarks than an actual human being. Jack is frustrated and determined. That's it. The villains? They’re a joke. Radivoje Bukvić plays a tap-dancing, carrot-eating baddie who's less threatening than Bugs Bunny. He does suceed in making your jaw fall to the floor, which is something but I can’t imagine what anyone was thinking with that nothing of a role.

There are more plot holes than plot in A Good Day to Die Hard. You think I’m joking, but not really. You'll see the twists coming. Character arcs? The closest thing we get to one is Jack shifting from calling his father “John” to “Dad” near the end. For comparison, here's my short list of things that make no sense:

If Yuri Komarov’s super secret file will expose Viktor Chagarin for the crook that he is, why does he want it back? Shouldn’t he just want Yuri dead so he can’t share it?

How can John and Jack - travelling via stolen car - get to Chernobyl nearly as quickly as a helicopter?

When did they invent those magic wands that can spray steam and make radiation disappear? If those exist, why haven’t they cleaned up all of Chernobyl?

Why aren’t there any police in Moscow? At one point, the villains fly a war helicopter through the city, blasting at buildings willy-nilly. We never even hear a single siren down below.

Why did Irina (Yulia Snigir) kill herself to avenge her father?

How are Jack and John supposed to get out of the country when they’re just created a second nuclear disaster by blowing up a safe full of radioactive materials less than twelve hours after engaging in a high-speed chase that saw at least a dozen cars (and their passengers) get squished?

Why didn’t that taxi driver (Pasha D. Lynchnikoff) ever come back?

I distinctly remember the theatrical release of A Good Day to Die Hard. A friend asked me if I wanted to see it with him. I said yes because I knew that at the nearby Futureshop, I could buy a Blu-ray of the original film and with it, get a promo code to see this new release for less than $3. Did paying less enhance my experience? Not really. I paid nothing to see A Good Day to Die Hard a second time and it sucks even more now! (February 11, 2022)