#Joe from mammal

[ohshy]

punch out furry edits - bug edition !!!

here we have escarjoe and mac-erpillar the japanese emperor caterpillar :3

[hiding-under-the-willow]

Tossing and turning in bed plagued by visions (Ed Edgar headcanons that are definitely just me projecting my cowboy ass autistic interest in strange animals onto him bc he too is a strange southern man with autistic swag)

[mawofthemagnetar]

Where Do Humans Come From?

(CW: mentions of birth, violence, and cannibalism!)

Jevin folded his arms.

“And you expect me to believe that? That humans need a whole other person to make more babies? That they DON’T just shed some of their bodies on biomass and let it grow into a child? This is what you’re honestly expecting me to believe?”

He was sitting at a table at one of the bars in Keralis’ base, surrounded on all sides by other Hermits. Cheryl, the pillager bartender, rolled her eyes and poured Jevin a fresh glass of lighter fluid, which he took and sipped. 

“Yes, that’s exactly what we’re saying,” Cleo groaned into their palms, “That’s not how humans make babies.” 

“Okay, so, how DO humans make babies, then? If you’re so smart.” Jevin frowned. 

Keralis stood from his stool and sashayed over. 

“I will explain!” He said proudly, “I know EXACTLY where human babies come from.” 

“Do you, now?” Cleo sighed. 

“Yes, I do.” Keralis nodded. A few of the tendrils poking out of his back gave an errant flick, and he gestured with them and his hands. 

“So first, mama and papa meet, and they cuddle a bit. Then, they fight! The winner gets to carry the babies. And then, inside of the winner, it all happens. Hundreds of little whelps all snap awake. But no! They are tiny! So they fight, yes? All the hundreds of babies all ripping chunks off each other. They all eat each other’s bodies and souls until only one is left- the very strongest one! And then, uh…” 

Keralis scratched his head. 

“I think they punch their way out of the parent. It’s fine, everyone has respawn.” Keralis said proudly, “And THAT is where human babies come from.”

Cleo groaned and facepalmed. 

“That’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard,” she growled. 

“It’s not!” Keralis huffed, “Okay, Cleo, then where do human babies come from, hmmm?”

“They don’t rip each other apart! That’s ridiculous!”  Cleo huffed. 

“Okay. So. Like. Where? Since you apparently know.” Jevin said, slurping at his lighter fluid.

Cleo rolled their eyes. 

“It’s simple,” she said, “There’s a species of small, soulless, human-shaped husks that emerge from the ground. Like plants, you know? They gotta come from somewhere. So let’s take Joe as an example. Joe’s mum and dad wanted a kid, so they went to this field, found a husk they liked the look of, and both bit the husk and infected it with humanity. Perfect baby, ready to go. Then you just…raise it, I guess?” 

Keralis tilted his head. 

“...Inchwesting. And why has Princess not showed me the human garden, then?” 

“Because OBVIOUSLY the humans want to keep it a secret!” Cleo gestured wildly, “If your whole species went to one spot to reproduce, of course you’d want it to be extremely secure! I’m sure it’s a private, human-only server.” 

Keralis nodded, a few of his void-slick tendrils squirming in sympathy. 

“That does make sense.” He agreed, “Okay, maybe it makes more sense than what I was thinking.” 

“All of you are idiots,” Doc declared, stomping over. He had a martini in one hand and a Hawaiian shirt over his lab coat, and his fur was slightly soaked with seawater. 

He waved the empty glass at Cheryl, who rolled her eyes, HRMMPH’ed, and set to mixing him a new one. 

“Okay, smart guy, then where DO Human babies come from?” Jevin huffed. 

“Human babies come from eggs,” Doc said confidently, “I read it in a book. Humans have eggs inside them.” 

Cleo and Keralis shared a look. 

“I don’t think that’s right.” Cleo said, “I mean-” 

“I think Princess would have mentioned,” Keralis said, “I think Princess said it was a special thing, about mammals? And not having eggs?”

“Yeah, Hypno mentioned that too,” Jevin said, “It’s this whole big thing, with humans?”  

“No, they do! I read a book!” Doc insisted, “Anyway. As you know, when you have an egg in you, you reach inside yourself with a hand- it phases through, it’s not painful- and you place it in moss. Damp moss, obviously, to promote proper growth. Now humans don’t have moss on them, but I assume they use stone or wood or something.” 

“Concrete?” Jevin offered. 

“Or concrete. Anyway, the parents tend to the egg, it hatches. Baby.” Doc gestured. 

Cheryl sighed and handed him his martini. 

“Thanks.”

She shook her head, and the four hermits stared at her. 

“Something to add, Cheryl?” Cleo sighed. 

“HRM-HRMPH!” Cheryl snapped, folding her arms. 

The four Hermits frowned. 

“We are NOT idiots!” Jevin huffed. 

Cheryl rolled her eyes and went back to swabbing a glass with a rag. 

“Okay. So. I think…we are all…probably slightly wrong.” Keralis said, opening his comm, “But you know, I think Princess might-”

“Well hey!” xB said, poking his head around the corner, “You rang?” 

Keralis’ face lit up like a sunrise. 

“Princess!” He said eagerly, “Princess, you’re mostly human. Do you know where human babies come from?” 

xB stared at them. 

And he sighed. 

“Man, you’re pullin’ my leg, right? How old are you guys?” 

“We’re not,” Cleo said, “Care to enlighten us, xB?” 

He sighed. 

“Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Okay, so, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much…”

“...And that’s where human babies come from.” xB finished. 

He was met with a deafening silence. 

Cleo sipped her glass of blood, and looked around at the other three. 

“Congratulations, xB. THAT is officially the dumbest thing I have ever heard.”  They groaned. 

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also Preserved in our archive (Daily updates!)

What if the pandemic safety net cobbled together in 2020 had been a new beginning?

What if when Joe Biden came into office in 2021, the Covid-19 safety net he was handed had become a new floor?

What if that was his baseline—and the newly elected Democratic president, sold by his most ardent supporters as FDR 2.0, had used our Covid-19 response as the bare minimum of a new social contract with Americans?

What if the caring nature of the best aspects of the US Covid response became the map for international relations—leading not just to international cooperation on infectious disease, but on matters of war, climate and genocide?

What if, instead of dismantling the vaccine-delivery infrastructure—which, at its height, delivered some four million shots in a single day—the Biden administration built upon and made some version of it permanent, so that everyone could easily get annual Covid boosters, annual flu vaccines, or get specialty vaccinations during outbreaks of unusual viruses (such as for mpox during the 2022 summer outbreak among queer men) whenever they needed it?

What if the viral surveillance and communication mechanisms utilized for learning about SARS-CoV-2, treating it and telling the public about it were being used to address H5N1—a virus which has been moving from birds to farm mammals to humans with so little notice that dead cows were killed by the “avian flu” and left on the side of a road in California’s Central Valley, as “Thick swarms of black flies hummed and knocked against the windows of an idling car, while crows and vultures waited nearby—eyeballing the taut and bloated carcasses roasting in the October heat”?What if the leaders of the Democratic party had used Covid as a blueprint to make a national platform based on care?

What if all the ways Covid had made clear how farmers, industrial butchers, kitchen staff and other food workers are the most at risk people amongst us to viral infection led to meaningful, permanent protections, such that they were much less likely to contract not just SARS-CoV-2 but H1N1, H5N1, influenza, or any other existing or novel pathogens?

What if all the all the ways Covid exposed how unsafe industrial food production is (for the workers who make it and the people who eat it alike) had triggered safety reforms, instead of having these warnings ignored and leading towards record numbers of safety recalls for e-coli, Salmonella, and Listeria?

What if an airborne pandemic had led to indoor air being as filtered, treated and regulated as drinking water?

What if everyone with a child was still getting a $300 check from the US treasury, so that having a child was not a gambling-style risk, but a responsibility shared with all of society?

What if the paused-for-years student debts were forgiven, so that young people could actually begin their lives?

What if Biden built on Americans’ experience of just showing up somewhere to get the medical care they needed to create a universal healthcare system?

(What if Kamala Harris built upon Americans’ taste of not getting charged at the point of such service—and campaigned on Medicare for All?)

What if once the link between Covid and homelessness was established, the Democrats had pushed infectious disease as just one reason for an end to evictions and a robust, public-health-backed campaign to end homelessness and stop the United States from having more people living on the streets than any other country?

What if after the link between Covid and incarceration was established, the Democrats had pursued decarceration as a public health measure and—instead of throwing weed and cryptocurrency at us—had made reducing incarceration a centerpiece of the Harris campaign to earn the votes of Black men?

(What if after 100,000 Californians died of Covid and the links between Covid, homelessness and incarceration were clear, residents of the Golden State chose to allow rent control and to abolish legal slavery in prisons—instead of voting to ban rent control and to continue prison slavery?)

What if the leaders of the Democratic party had used Covid as a blueprint to make a national platform based on care?

Would we be in the lethal position we are now—with a genocide raging abroad, Covid deaths in the hundreds every week at home, a poisoned food supply, $17 trillion in household debt, oligarch goons ready to dismantle government regulations, and a sociopath heading back into the White House—if Covid had been the floor?

[rjzimmerman]

Biden to block oil drilling across 625 million acres of U.S. waters. (Washington Post)

Excerpt from this Washington Post story:

President Joe Biden will moveMonday to block all future oil and gas drilling across more than 625 million acres of federal waters — equivalent to nearly a quarter of the total land area of the United States, according to two people briefed on the decision who spoke on the condition of anonymity because the announcement is not yet public.

The action underscores how Biden is racing to cement his legacy on climate change and conservation in his last weeks in office. President-elect Donald Trump, who has describedhis energy policy as “drill, baby, drill,” is likely to work with congressional Republicans to challenge the decision.

Biden will issue two memorandums that prohibit future federal oil and gas leasing across large swaths of the Atlantic Ocean, the Pacific Ocean, the eastern Gulf of Mexico and the Northern Bering Sea in Alaska, the two people said. The oil and gas industry has long prized the eastern Gulf of Mexico in particular, viewing the area as a key part of its offshore production plans.

The move could have the biggest impact in the Gulf of Mexico, which accounts for about 14 percent of the country’s crude oil production, according to the U.S. Energy Information Administration. Industry operations there focus on a small sliver of federal waters off Louisiana’s coast.

The decision would have little effect on a stretch of the Atlantic from North Carolina to Florida, where no drilling is underway.There is weak industry interest in the region, and lawmakers from both parties have raised concerns about possible oil spills devastating local beaches and tourism.

In fact, Trump imposed a 10-year moratorium on offshore oil exploration off the coasts of Florida, Georgia and South Carolina when courting voters there during his 2020 campaign. “This protects your beautiful gulf and your beautiful ocean, and it will for a long time to come,” Trump said as he announced the election-year reversal during an appearance at a lighthouse in Florida.

The Northern Bering Sea, off the coast of western Alaska, is home to migrating marine mammals including bowhead and beluga whales, walruses and ice seals, which are hunted by many Alaska Natives. In 2016, President Barack Obama issued an executive order that prohibited oil and gas exploration across more than 112,000 square miles of marine habitat in the Northern Bering Sea and called for tribal comanagement of the protected area.

Biden plans to invoke the 1953 Outer Continental Shelf Lands Act, which gives the president broad powers to withdraw federal waters from future leasing. A federal judge ruled in 2019 that such withdrawals cannot be undone without an act of Congress.

Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah), the new chairman of the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee, suggested that he would seek to overturn the decision using the Congressional Review Act, which allows lawmakers to nullify an executive action within 60 days of enactment with a simple majority vote.

The expected move is “yet another attempt by the Biden administration to undercut the incoming Trump administration and ignore the will of the American people — who decisively voted to reverse this war on American energy,” Lee said in an emailed statement, adding, “Senate Republicans will push back using every tool at our disposal.”

[autumnmist101]

Hermit Head-cannons

Hello! I've been wanting to share some of my hermitcraft head-cannons and seen @silly-st4rrr was wanting to see some. So, thank you to them for giving me a reason to share. <3

General Head-cannons:

Hybrid hermits can morph forms on command or intentionally keep certain parts of each form on them at all times. However, they can also morph or go into full form involuntarily from things like nightmares, flashbacks, or just being around similar creatures for too long.

All mammal hybrids must get vaccinations yearly.

Hybrids can form in a number of ways. Some formed from contact with a creature’s DNA, some are born with the form, while others have been. . . magically infused with a form.

Traffic life victors recall all memories and emotions and trauma from the games. Non-victors recall major parts and major emotions, however, forget most of what happened.

When someone perma-dies in the games, they are immediately teleported back to hermitcraft/empires.

All worlds are connected via void, however, can be traversed via rifts, portals, teleporting, and through a main hub with shopping areas. (how do you think hermits get new clothes?) Group/duo head-cannons:

Pearl and Grian were inseparable the first week she was on the server.

Hermit Parent Club (HPC): Doc, Keralis, Joe Hills, Impulse, Skizz, Tango, Bdubs, Stress, and Beef (newest member) meet once every 2 months.

Gem, Pearl, and Mumbo will make up problems for when anyone in the Hermit Parent Club needs to feel parental.

Mumbo still wants a tower building rematch with Gem, who refuses to give him one.

Boatem still has sleepovers together monthly.

Scar and Pearl have an avoidance of chorus fruit and refuse to explain why to Grian.

It is now a rule that the ZITS crew must take a minimum of iron armor to ‘naked whatever raiding’.

Mumbo and Pearl will secretly eat red-stone torches together. Mumbo is the supplier.

Joe will supply Mumbo with redstone when he needs it. (He doesn't ask why he needs it.)

Doc and Ren have been trying to create the perfect dog treat. Problem is neither of them can bake.

Pearl and Bdubs will confide in each other on days where they feel too tall/short.

Afab hermits meet for Ladies Night at least once a month.

Bdubs and Scar still call Cleo 'Mom' from time to time.

Cleo and Pearl will talk about the games and how they wish things could have been different in DL.

That's all for now. I do have individual hermit head-cannons, but this post is long enough. Hope you enjoyed! <3

[spark-of-teal]

I was going to do this back when the fishing craze was still happening but I took a break from the internet for a bit. But,

Hermits as fish!

Grian: Tadpole Cod

Obvious reasons for cod, also it's the smallest cod

Pearl: Chinook salmon

Obvious reasons for salmon, also it's the largest salmon

Gem: Needlefish

Aw it's so small and cute AHH IT SLICED ME IN HALF

Etho: Manta ray

Manta rays are iconic like Etho, smart like Etho, and scary like Etho

Scar: Seahorse

Limited mobility but super cool in other ways; they’re like the hummingbirds of the fish world, they can move in any direction they want with more energy expended. Scar does whatever he wants even though it’s harder for him

Joel: Whale shark

“I’m a shark! Aha! I’m big and scary!” “But you just sit there eating krill” “Shut up no one likes you anyway!”

Bdubs: Cleaner wrasse

Cleaner fish, Bdubs is usually a sidekick, also one of the main fish they clean are manta rays

Tango: Firefish

It looks just like him :D

Joe: Narwhal

He would totally be the only mammal. He would finagle a way to be the only mammal. And he would also want to be a unicorn.

Doc: Hammerhead shark

Bro is willing to look silly for maximum efficiency. Hammerheads have 360 degree vision. (Also they’re terrifying. Like Doc.)

[artnwill]

My art inspirations

William Heath Robinson- He was an English Cartoonist that lived though 1872-1944. Not only do I enjoy his drawings because of the fun elements that he would bring into them with machines, but I really like his use of line. His use of a single width for his line work and other artists have directly affected my own works. I also really enjoy the flat colors that he uses in his works.

John James Audubon- He was a American- French artist and ornithologist ( study of birds) who lived from 1785-1851. He recorded and painted many species of birds that are native here in America. I love his art. The composition, the colors, the accuracy of the birds is to die for. Huge inspiration when it comes to drawing birds. Recommend studying his art if your interested in bird drawing!

(Also the last bird picture is of a Carolina Parakeet, which was the only parakeet native to the southwest of North America)

(unfortunately it went extinct around the 1900's, which is a shame as it looks like it was such a pretty bird)

He also drew some mammals from America (tbh though some of them look a bit..... odd). This guy looks hella cursed lol

(both bird and racoon pics were from my collection of books based on his art)

Joe Weatherly- He is a California based artist that focuses on animal art. His artworks are very dynamic in nature and I love his use of color in his artworks. He also has done multiple books on drawing animals and of his own art (first picture is of his book Animal Essence). I highly recommend him to anyone interested in learning how to draw animals!

Here's a link his website for anyone interested https://www.joeweatherly.com/

(Images were taken from my own copy of his book Animal Essence)

Group of artworks from Pauline Cherrett's book "Chinese Brush Painting: A Beginner's Guide"

I have always been a fan of brushwork in artworks and have always been inspired by Chinese brush painting and Japanese woodblock art. I've always liked nature and landscapes and flowers which tend to be the main subjects of this type of art and honestly I just really enjoy them ( I mean look at the brushwork its amazing).

(all of these pictures come from my copy of the book)

So this was just a small list of some of the artworks and artist that inspire me and my art. Wanted to write this blog for myself as a sort of reference point and to show others different artists that they may not know of. I also have another blog like this one which I'll link if anyone is interested.

Honestly this was so much fun to write! I mainly write a ton for college and it can be a bit taxing but it's nice to write something for myself and on a topic I really enjoy!

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x42 - Silence on the Ocean Floor! Whamon / Under Pressure

Previously on Digimon Adventure: Piximon's sacrifice got the kids away from the Dark Masters, but only for like five minutes. Chomping at the bit for some action, MetalSeadramon bolted straight out there set Anomalocarimon on fire. Whamon snuck away the kids. That's a whoopsy-doodle.

As with last episode, before we can begin this one, the dub needs to finish the previous episode.

We open back up in the ocean, with the kids floating in the water and MetalSeadramon towering over them. His River of Power finishes off Zudomon, launching Gomamon straight into Joe's face. Sadly, this goes unremarked upon.

Gomamon: AUUUUGH!!! (sploosh) MetalSeadramon: You're finished, you upstart DigiDestined! In a word, you're sunk! (Whamon's silhouette passes under them) MetalSeadramon: Huh? Who is that? Tai: IT'S WHAMON!!!

Whamon headbutts MetalSeadramon into the water, then scoops up the kids in his mouth.

Tai: Come on, everybody! I never thought I'd want to be fish food but we'll be safe in here! Izzy: Technically, it's a mammal!

Okay, Tai's quip was cute but Izzy Um Actually-ing him in the middle of this crisis sells it. XD

MetalSeadramon: Grahh! You've escaped this time, but you've escaped for the last time!

Once MetalSeadramon's finished shaking his proverbial fist at the kids and threatening revenge next episode, we begin next episode.

MetalSeadramon: Curse those Chosen Children....

Four little Digimon with sea jets turn up, reporting in to MetalSeadramon.

MetalSeadramon: Hangyomon? Hangyomon: We're sorry to be late, sir.

Hangyomon is a Perfect-stage Data-type Aquatic Beast Man Digimon. Lot going on with that classification. The name comes from the word 半魚人 hangyojin which means "Half Fish Person". It's a mermaid. Hangyojin are Japanese mermaids.

Hangyojin aren't as consistently designed as mermaids, though. The uniformity that dominates mermaid designs isn't present in traditional hangyojin lore. Basically any combination of Fish Stuff and Primate Stuff can be a hangyojin.

So we get Hangyomon whose name is "Half-Fish mon". It would be super easy to call them Mermon in English, it's right there, but I guess they aren't mermaid enough so they end up being Divermon. That's fair, probably less confusing that way.

In any case, Hangyomon is a Deep Saver from the .5 updated release of the V-Pet. Super fittingly in a "I see what you did there" way, they replace Anomalocarimon on the roster for the updated version.

Narrator: Hangyomon. An Aquatic Beast Man Digimon who swims deep in the oceans while wearing a wetsuit. His special attack is Strike Fishing. MetalSeadramon: Forget it. I control these waters. The Chosen Children can't escape me no matter where they try to run; Not even with Whamon helping them. Now go! Capture the Chosen Children! All Hangyomon: (English) Aye-Aye, Sir!

The Hangyomon dive beneath the water. MetalSeadramon lets out a furious roar that honestly sounds more like a death rattle and then plunges into the water as well.

In the dub, MetalSeadramon has questions.

MetalSeadramon: Why did Whamon stick his spout in my business and save the DigiDestined? (The Divermon pop up) MetalSeadramon: What are you doing here, Divermon? Divermon: We just came up for a little air! MetalSeadramon: (rundown) Those Divermon! If it wasn't for their Striking Fish attack, they'd be useless to me. MetalSeadramon: No matter. Wherever those kids try to hide, I'll find them. I rule this ocean with an iron hand, an iron tail, and an iron everything for that matter! I'll catch them even with Whamon on their side! ...well, don't just sit there treading water; I told you to GO FIND THOSE KIDS!!! All Divermon: Aye-Aye, Sir!

That "iron everything" bit is nicely punned. MetalSeadramon is proud of his near-completely Chrome Digizoid body and frankly he should be. He worked hard for it.

Striking Fish. Oh my god. XD Like. Conceptually, it's not that different from what Strike Fishing implies but it somehow sounds way lamer. That's not a mistranslation; Like most proper nouns, the attack name was in English. They made a choice to move the -ing and make it Striking Fish.

Weird choice to imply that the Divermon came by purely out of coincidence. The dub's still downplaying that his "minions" are a formal military.

Whamon ferries the children back up into breathable air once they're far enough away from MetalSeadramon.

Taichi: You saved us back there, Whamon! Koushiro: Really! I thought we were done for. Whamon: I'm glad you're safe. Yamato: Hey, Whamon? Do you have any ideas for how we can defeat the Dark Masters? Sora: Why did they do this to the Digimon World? Whamon: Unfortunately, I don't know all the details. I just felt the world shaking all of a sudden, and then the world became like this. That was when MetalSeadramon took control of the oceans.

Taichi angrily punches Whamon.

Taichi: Damn that MetalSeadramon! Hikari: (hug) Onii-chan, cheer up. Taichi: (sheepish) ...yeah. You're right. Let's all stay positive! Group: Yeah! Whamon: Yes, let's all keep our spirits up. I don't know if there's anywhere safe left in the world, but we should try to find somewhere that MetalSeadramon can't reach.

Also, if we can, try not to punch our friends anymore, Taichi. :P

In the dub:

Tai: Thanks for saving us, Whamon! Whamon: Aww, don't mention it! No, seriously, don't mention it. I don't want it to get around.

...not sure what that's supposed to mean. Is Dub Whamon embarrassed to be associated with the DigiDestined? This feels like they slapped in one of those jokes where the punchline is just the characters being mean to each other, without any regard to context.

I could get it if it were someone like Ogremon delivering that line, but it seems weird here.

Matt: Hey, guys? We still have a problem. How are we gonna be able to defeat the Dark Masters? Sora: I wonder how they took over the Digital World in the first place? Do you remember, Whamon? Whamon: Of course I remember Whamon! Big fella. Snappy dresser. Oh, you mean the Dark Masters? I don't know all the details, but soon after the Digital World began to warp, MetalSeadramon began to take over the ocean. Tai: (punches Whamon) DARN!!! Whamon: Ow! Tai: Oh, uh, sorry, Whamon! Kari: (hug) Tai, don't get upset. We'll fix things. Tai: You're right. We'll do it. We've done it before, haven't we? Group: YEAH!!! Whamon: That's the attitude! I'll find a safe place for you outside of MetalSeadramon's reach even if I have to swim to the far corners of the ocean! By the way, did I mention I charge by the mile?

Yeah, they're definitely having Whamon reach for whatever punchlines he can get his flippers around to try and ease back the tension.

"Of course I remember Whamon!" got me though. XD That's the best of the lot. I also appreciate that they have Whamon react to Tai punching him.

If you look closely in the image, you can see others around him looking with wide eyes down at Whamon as if to imply a "Uh, Taichi, maybe don't?" reaction but nobody says anything and the scene moves on, more focused on addressing Taichi's frustration than the fact that he punched Whamon.

I do like the "Let's stay positive and keep our spirits up" conversation better than the "Yeah, we'll figure out how to solve this" conversation, but it's nice for someone to remark on the punch before segueing into that.

From here, we briefly see the Hangyomon searching an undersea ruin for the Chosen Children, as well as hassling some of Gomamon's Marching Fishes. Then we rejoin the kids at a crescent-shaped island, stopping for lunch.

Yamato plays his harmonica while Taichi and Jou fish with traditional poles. Meanwhile, the Digimon strut their stuff and demonstrate their own techniques.

With flying fish jumping overhead, Tailmon steps up to the plate. She finds her moment and leaps into the air, slicing two of the fish into neatly cut segments which fall nicely onto the plate. Then she does a little bow to complete he maneuver.

After that, it's Palmon's turn. Utilizing her Poison Ivy, she manages to rip a huge fish right out of the ocean! So huge, in fact, that it crushes her on landing. Whoops.

This error also un-catches the fish Tailmon caught. It happens so fast that it can be difficult to make out, but when the giant fish lands, you can barely make out the plate getting knocked offscreen and scattering its contents. Goodbye, nicely cut flying fish.

None of this has any dialogue, but you know how the dub feels about that. They kick us off with Gatomon singing a little blues ditty to go with Matt's harmonica.

Gatomon: Cats land on their feet / But we still need to eat! / It's Gatomon's wish / For some fresh flying fish! / 'Cause I'm a kitty! / A Digi-kitty!

As if summoned by her singing, the fish appear and she goes to work. She remains silent for as long as her mouth is onscreen, before wrapping up.

Gatomon: Ohhh yeeeeeah MROWR! Palmon: That's great, Gatomon, but the rest of us have to eat too! Stand aside and watch how a pro does it. (Palmon attempts to fish and has violent regrets) Palmon: ...dinner is served....

This is all really cute. Both Gatomon's song and Palmon's use of the stock "Yeah well WATCH ME TRY (immediately fails hard)" gag. Though to be fair to her, she did catch an impressive fish. It's still caught, if she KO'd herself in the process!

Suddenly, Yamato stops playing, prompting a conversation.

Taichi: What's wrong, Yamato? Yamato: Can we really win against the Dark Masters? Taichi: (sigh)

The harmonica music starts back up again here, despite the fact that Yamato isn't playing.

Yamato: They're not like the other Digimon we've fought before. Can we really beat them with our usual methods? Koushiro: (approaches with his laptop) There may be a possibility with WarGreymon. Taichi & Yamato: Eh? Koushiro: The Dramon Killer.

The word "Killer" here is in English, like most proper nouns. In a sense, so is Dramon, since it's the Digimon equivalent of "dragon".

Yamato: Dramon Killer? Taichi: What is that? Koushiro: (pulls up the Digimon Analyzer) It's the weapon that's on WarGreymon's arms. According to the Digimon Analyzer, this weapon is highly effective against Dramon type Digimon. Dramon Killer. If he uses this, we may have a chance. Taichi: That's a great idea, Koushiro! The Dramon Killer? HEY!!! AGUMON!!! IT'S YOUR TIME TO SHINE!!!

Taichi whips around in time to see Agumon, jaw unhinged like a snake, swallowing the entire giant fish Palmon caught whole. And alive, as it flops its tail desperately in protest. He can't even get it all down, ending up staring helplessly at Taichi with a distended stomach and an unswallowable fin sticking out of his mouth.

Taichi: ... Yamato: .... Koushiro: .... Taichi: G-ganbare... Agumon: (reluctant) ....nnnngh okay....

We're all familiar with ganbaru by now; The Japanese cultural idea of perseverance in harsh situations through hard work and dedication.

Taichi, stuck for anything he can possibly say about the mostly-swallowed fish stuck in Agumon's throat, weakly offers it up as a punchline to encourage Agumon to finish this stupid ordeal he's begun. The moment of inspiration and hope has been utterly vanquished. XD

With regard to Koushiro's exposition, you may have noticed that WarGreymon's Digimon Analyzer rundown said absolutely nothing of the sort about him having some sort of super-powerful anti-dramon weapon. So this has all the energy of something the writers pulled straight out of their assholes.

I'm not 100% but I don't think it is, however. So far as I can tell, Koushiro is reading this right out of the Metal Empire V-Pet's bios, which includes the statement, "The 'Dramon Killer' claws on both of its arms can easily defeat dragon-type Digimon."

It also tells us that WarGreymon's armor is made from Chrome Digizoid, which the rundown also did not see fit to mention.

However, that archived web page is from 2010, a decade after this episode aired, so I can't say with certainty whether this information was included in the original V-Pet or not.

The dub can't use ganbaru so they're going to have to write their own punchline here.

Tai: Why'd you stop playing, Matt? Matt: Aww, that song is just too depressing. It always gives me the blues. Tai: (sigh)

The dub does not inexplicably start Matt's harmonica music up without him here. It does play music, but different music.

Matt: Besides, I can't stop thinking about the Dark Masters. They're different from any Digimon we've ever faced before. Izzy: (approaches with his laptop) Well, I've analyzed the situation and I believe we can defeat them with WarGreymon. Tai & Matt: Huh!? Izzy: He's a Dramon Destroyer. Matt: Dramon Destroyer? Tai: Try speaking English. Izzy: (pulls up the Digimon Analyzer) Well, you see, the weapons on WarGreymon's arms are the key. They're especially effective against Dramon type Digimon. Hence the phrase Dramon Destroyer! With these devices, we might be able to defeat the Dark Masters. Tai: Izzy, you're a genius! Dramon Destroyer, huh!? Agumon, you're going to eat those Dramon alive! (Agumon is making bad choices) Tai: ... Matt: ... Izzy: ... Tai: That's not what I had in mind!

Izzy's exposition is a little off. He says WarGreymon is a Dramon Destroyer, as opposed to WarGreymon having Dramon Destroyers. But I think that's fairly minor mistake. Also, it's Destroyer, not Killer, because obviously that was gonna get changed.

While Agumon is busily erasing everyone's appetites, Gomamon swims with his Marching Fishes, who report in what they saw.

Fish: We saw Hangyomon. Gomamon: WAUGH!!!

Gomamon panics so hard that Jou ends up yanked into the ocean by his fishing pole.

Gomamon: GUYS, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!! Jou: (sopping wet and unenthused) What is it, Gomamon? Gomamon: THE ENEMY IS ON THEIR WAY!!! Jou: WHAT!?!? Piyomon: Where!? Where!? Sora: I don't see any sign of them. Whamon: The fishes say they've spotted MetalSeadramon's forces two hundred units of distance away. Kids: EHHH!?!? Takeru: What do we do? Patamon: Takeru.... Whamon: They'll be here soon. Everyone, get inside. I'll try to shake them by widening the distance between us.

Not sure how Gomamon knows that the Hangyomon are aligned with MetalSeadramon. Did Whamon brief them on the Deep Savers Ankoku Gundan membership roster?

I am very shaky on this one but I have gone over Whamon's line over and over for like twenty straight minutes and I swear they never give a unit of measurement.

The dub and sub both have them say "200 miles" which doesn't seem like an "Everybody panic" situation. Also, Japan uses the metric system, so a measurement given in "miles" is usually suspect. I've seen other sources offer "200 meters".

However, as best I can tell, what they say is that MetalSeadramon's forces are "ni-hyaku no kyori de". Ni-hyaku is 200, but kyori is the word "distance" rather than any specific measurement.

So unless there's some nuance here that I am not understanding (that's a possibility), MetalSeadramon's forces are 200 distance away.

In the dub:

Gomamon: Hey, fishes! Learn anything new in school? Fish: We learned Divermon are in the area. Hahaha! Gomamon: HUH!?!? (Gomamon yanks Joe into the water) Gomamon: HEY GUUUUYS!!! WE GOT TROUBLE!!! Joe: (sopping wet and unenthused) I caught a whopper. Look. Gomamon: DIVERMON ARE HEADED THIS WAY!!! Joe: WAAAAAAUGH!!! Mimi: Not Divermon! Anything but Divermon! ...by the way, what are Divermon? Whamon: Oh, those are MetalSeadramon's henchmen. It seems the fish have seen them about 200 miles behind us. Kids: HUUUUH!?!? T.K.: What are we gonna do? Whamon: Well, we can't stay here! They'll find us too easily! I'm gonna dive. Quick, everyone get inside me! And don't mind the smell; I had fish for lunch. Kids: EWWWWW!!!

As noted, the dub presents the ambiguous measurement as 200 miles which. Like. That's pretty fucking far. I feel like we have time to finish lunch before we get going if they're that far out.

While the kids and Whamon vacate their little island, we cut to the Hangyomon scouring the ocean.

They seem to be communicating with each other through some kind of radio communication, though no device is ever shown.

Hangyomon 1: Areas 13 through 18 are all clear. Hangyomon 2: Areas 23 and 24 are clear. Hangyomon 3: (with MetalSeadramon) How long will this delay last!? Why can't we find that huge lump of a whale!? MetalSeadramon: There's no need to rush. Hangyomon 3: Huh? MetalSeadramon: I control the ocean. No matter where they run to, I'll have them sooner or later. Hangyomon 3: Sir. MetalSeadramon: Just relax and enjoy the hunt. Hangyomon 3: Sir! MetalSeadramon: Hehehe... Chosen Children, the hunt has only just begun.

MetalSeadramon's pretty chill. His dub counterpart, on the other hand, remains a hot-headed firecracker.

Divermon 1: Red Leader to Blue Leader, Areas 13 through 18 are clear. Divermon 2: Gold Leader to Blue Leader, Areas 23 and 24 are clear too! Divermon 3: Listen Phil, Sid, how many times do I have to tell you guys, there are just three of us! You can call me Jim! MetalSeadramon: Will you guys KNOCK IT OFF!?!? Divermon 3: Sorry! MetalSeadramon: Do you smell something? It's the scent of DigiDestined in the current. Either that or there's a bad patch of seaweed around here. Divermon 3: Ew. MetalSeadramon: THIS IS MY MOMENT TO SHINE!!! Does my hair look alright? Divermon 3: Yeah.... MetalSeadramon: YOU DIGIDESTINED FOOLS!!! YOU CAN SWIM BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!!! GYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

The "Stop using shitty code words and use our names" stock gag doesn't work so well when every member of a species has the same name. They try to differentiate by naming them Phil, Sid, and Jim, but that's not how Digimon names have ever worked so the joke's a little confusing.

Titles like Red Leader, Blue Leader, and Gold Leader make a lot of sense for multiple members of the same Digimon species.

"Does my hair look alright?" got me, though. XD

Bit of a plot difference here, though. The dub suggests that MetalSeadramon and Divermon have caught Whamon's trail and are closing in on them, while the original conversation is that they haven't found anything but MetalSeadramon's content to take his time.

Also, they say that there's three Divermon, but there are actually four. Only three are involved in this conversation, but there's four in total. We saw them when they first reported in to MetalSeadramon.

Back to Whamon, the children are chilling out inside that big chamber in his stomach that they once destroyed a Black Gear in. Koushiro is hard at work on his laptop. Wires coming down from the center of Whamon's chamber are plugged into the back.

Tailmon: Koushiro, what are you doing? Koushiro: Give me a minute. Taichi: Come on, stop stalling and just tell us. Koushiro: (more forceful) You'll see in a moment.... (Laptop beeps) Koushiro: There, it's connected!

Everybody gathers around Koushiro to see for themselves. On his laptop screen, they can see the ocean terrain moving around them.

Group: Ahh? Tentomon: Koushiro-han, what is this? Koushiro: I've linked my laptop up to Whamon's sensory information so that it can be transmitted to the screen. Patamon: Transmitted? Koushiro: In other words, what you're seeing here is exactly what Whamon is seeing right now.

Koushiro has gotten so good at this in the time he's been here.

In the dub:

Gatomon: What's that noise? I was taking a catnap and it woke me up. Izzy: (annoyed) I'll explain later! Tai: Oh, come on! You think I'm too brainless to understand!? Izzy: Yes, but I'll tell you anyway. Check it out. (The group gathers around Izzy) Sora: What is it? Mimi: What did you do, Izzy? (Sea floor visible through laptop screen) Sora: What a cool screensaver. Izzy: It's not a screensaver. Mimi: What is it, then? Izzy: I connected to Whamon's hard drive and rerouted all of his sensory information to my computer. Patamon: Rerouted? Izzy: In other words, what you're seeing on the screen is exactly what Whamon is looking at right now.

I cannot get over how much of a smug asshole the dub made Izzy, a character so polite that it weirded out his mom and became a plot point.

Also, I feel like rerouting Whamon's sensory information would have blinded him. That seems like a bad explanation.

The children celebrate Koushiro's accomplishment. Mimi gets up and starts swinging Palmon around and twirling from excitement.

Yamato: That's amazing. Mimi: WOW!!! IT'S LIKE WE'RE IN A SUBMARINE!!! Koushiro: Of course, this can only be done in the Digital World.

Suddenly, Hikari grabs her ears in pain.

Tailmon: Hikari, are you okay? Taichi: What is it, Hikari? Hikari: I'm okay. It's just mimi. Group: MIMI!?!?

Everybody jerks up and yells at Mimi at once, who abruptly stops spinning - in the process, losing her grip and throwing poor Palmon down on her face.

This is a comical misunderstanding pun. Mimi is the japanese word for ears. Hikari is complaining that her ears hurt, but everyone thought she said that Mimi was causing her pain.

Mimi: Eh? Now that you mention it, my ears hurt too.... (Everyone grabs their ears, now feeling it too) Whamon: Ohohoho, I'm sorry. I must have been in a hurry and dived too deep. I'll adjust the air pressure.

True to his word, Whamon releases air through their blowhole and the kids feel better.

Takeru: Ah, much better! Koushiro: So the pressure changed because you swam to the ocean floor. Hikari: Thank you, Whamon!

Meanwhile, the dub... Oh, fuck me, we handed them a scene based on an untranslatable pun in which everyone yells at Mimi, didn't we? Okay, here we go. Let's see what they do with it.

Matt: Cool! Like a submarine! Mimi: Oh boy! (starts spinning) I've always wanted to go on a submarine! Joe: I think she's been out to sea a little too long. (Kari grabs her ears in pain) Gatomon: Yeah, I hate square dances. Tai: What's wrong, Kari? Kari: It's my ears. They're starting to hurt. Tai: Mimi! Stop! Be quiet! (Mimi stops abruptly, flinging Palmon) Mimi: Oh! Hey, y'know, my ears hurt a little too. (The kids all grab their ears) Whamon: Ohoho, sorry! I dove a little too fast. I'll fix the pressure now. Hold on. (Whamon releases air through his blowhole, making a burp sound) T.K.: Aw, that's better! Izzy: Well, I guess that's one way to equalize the gas pressure. Kari: By the way, you're excused!

You know what, that was astonishingly well-restrained of them. Tai yells at her to be quiet but in a reasonable way. Joe and Gatomon do make quips at her expense; Joe's is funny, but Gatomon should probably have more concern for Kari's sudden agony.

Still nowhere near what I was dreading.

Suddenly, a loud rotor noise starts echoing through the chamber.

Piyomon: What's that sound? Mimi: Eh? Palmon: (delirious) Agh... what's wrong...? Koushiro: Be quiet, everyone!

The children wait in silence, trying to keep even their breathing down to avoid giving themselves away. We briefly see outside to identify the source of the noise; It's the spinning turbine of a Hangyomon.

Once the sound fades into the distance, the kids breathe again.

Gomamon: Sounds like they've passed us. Whamon: We're not out of danger yet. We need to stay quiet for a little longer.

In the dub, instead of the turbine noise, the sound is a sonar ping bouncing around. That's a good choice, because having to stay quiet makes more sense if they're actively pinging us with sonar.

I'm not sure how we were hearing the turbine through Whamon's hide, or why we thought the Hangyomon would hear us in turn.

Biyomon: What's that sound!? Mimi: Huh? Palmon: It's getting louder! Izzy: Everyone, be quiet! Tentomon: Sounds like Divermon! (Everyone quietly waits for the Divermon to pass) Gomamon: Sounds like they passed us. Whamon: We're not out of danger yet. You'll have to be quiet a little longer.

Pretty strong scene. My one criticism is that Tentomon shouts "Sounds like Divermon!" right after Izzy tells everyone to be quiet. A visual later in the scene will tell us that, Tentomon. You don't need to risk blowing our cover to exclaim it.

Unfortunately, there's no hiding from the Hangyomon. A critical error has already been made, and it's too late to take it back.

The scouting Hangyomon notices the bubbles from Whamon's attempt to equalize the pressure. Following the bubbles' course down to their point of origin, they see Whamon on the ocean floor.

Hangyomon: FOUND HIM!!! IT'S WHAMON!!!

Hangyomon changes course and goes straight for Whamon. Are they planning to try and take Whamon by themselves? Eh, probably; They are a Perfect Digimon after all.

Inside, the kids hear the turbine sound returning with a vengeance and freak out.

Kids: AHHHH!!! Taichi: Crap! They found us!

Surprisingly tame expletive for Taichi in this situation.

In the dub:

Divermon: OVER THERE!!! HEY, IT'S WHAMON!!! (Divermon goes for Whamon) Kids: AHHHH!!! Tai: Oh no! They found us!

Pretty much exactly the same.

After a commercial break, the Hangyomon who spotted the bubbles reports in.

Hangyomon 1: I've found Whamon! He's lurking on the ocean floor in Area 51! Hangyomon 2: Understood. I'll report this to MetalSeadramon-sama right away! Hangyomon 3: (With MetalSeadramon) They've found Whamon!

MetalSeadramon is so happy about this news, he erupts out of the ocean and does a little twirl in the air.

Hangyomon 3: WE'VE FOUND THE CHOSEN CHILDREN!!!

Music to MetalSeadramon's ears. With a big doofy smile, he flops around in the air. It's weirdly adorable.

The dub keeps up the odd name joke.

Divermon 1: Red Leader, this is-- Ah, uh, I mean, this is Phil. I found Whamon! He's in Area 51 on the ocean floor! Divermon 2: Great! Keep an eye on him! I'll tell the boss and he can tell MetalSeadramon! Divermon 3: (With MetalSeadramon) Good news! We found Whamon! MetalSeadramon: (explodes out of the water) YYYYYEAH YAY!!! Divermon 3: What do we do now, oh master of the ocean? MetalSeadramon: (flopping with joy) AAAAAAAAATTACK!!!

Having MetalSeadramon give orders while flailing around in the air is so ridiculous, I do not know if it makes this bit better or worse. XD Any way you slice it, MetalSeadramon's gleeful sky twisting is such an unexpected thing to put into the show.

Deep beneath the ocean, the Hangyomon that spotted Whamon moves in to attack.

Hangyomon: STRIKE FISHING!!! Koushiro: (inside) They're coming! Whamon: The Hangyomon are attacking! Everyone, stay calm!

Whamon creates a smokescreen out of bubbles to conceal himself. Hangyomon's Strike Fishing harpoons pass through the bubbles, missing their mark.

Hangyomon: Tch. He dodged them using bubbles for cover. (The other three Hangyomon arrive) Hangyomon: You're late!

In the dub:

Divermon: STRIKING FISH!!! Izzy: (inside) WATCH OUT!!! Whamon: The Divermon are attacking! Hang on, everyone! I've got an idea! (Bubble smokescreen) Divermon: Where did all those bubbles come from? Geeze, I couldn't see where I was aiming! (The other three Divermon arrive) Divermon: Hmm? UH-OH!!!

Tonal change. In the original, this Hangyomon is like, "Shit, they got away. Oh, and FINALLY the rest of the squad shows up; Come on, guys."

His corresponding Divermon is a hapless doof who has no idea what he saw, and also reacts like he's the one about to be in trouble. Presumably for letting Whamon slip away.

I always thought it was surprisingly bold, as a kid, for this one Divermon to try and attack Whamon on his own. Not being able to read the Japanese writing in their Digimon Analyzer screen leaves it extremely ambiguous as to what level they're supposed to be at. I thought they were Rookies because of their small size and numbers.

Nope. Perfect. This one Hangyomon is more than enough to utterly ruin Whamon's day in a fist-fight.

Inside Whamon, we find Yamato and Takeru with their Partners. Takeru's holding Patamon in his hands, while Yamato has his arm around Takeru with a firm grip on his shoulder.

Patamon: What should we do, Takeru? Takeru: If this keeps up, we won't make it.... Yamato: I hate to say it, but so long as we're stuck inside Whamon-- (Taichi pounds his fist) Taichi: Can't we do something!?

The kids are starting to come around to the realization that MetalSeadramon was right. The ocean is MetalSeadramon's domain, and they're at a tremendous disadvantage down here.

Koushiro: There are three more pursuers behind us! Sora: What!? Whamon: The enemy has brought reinforcements! Kids: (collective gasp)

Brief shot of three Hangyomon now in pursuit of Whamon, with the fourth lagging behind and coming up to join them.

Hangyomon 4: Sorry to keep you waiting. Tentomon: (inside, watching the laptop) THEY'RE GAINING ON US!!! Taichi: Whamon! You need to surface! Then we'll be able to fight back! Yamato: Please! Taichi: WHAMON!!! Whamon: ...I have a different idea. If this works, we should be able to lose them. Palmon: If it works...? Mimi: And what if it doesn't work!?

We're at an impasse here and there are no good options. Even one Hangyomon would be enough to make mincemeat out of Whamon and there's four of them. The children can't fight them this far down.

(However, MetalSeadramon is unaccounted for, which is a significant peril of trying to surface and fight. I can understand Whamon's reluctance to let this become a brawl.)

The dub kicks us off with some brotherly banter.

Patamon: You're squeezing me too hard! T.K.: Matt, you're squeezing me too hard. Matt: Sorry, I guess we're all a little scared. (Tai pounds his fist) Tai: I HATE THIS!!! WE'RE STUCK IN HERE AND CAN'T FIGHT!!! Izzy: According to the audio sensors, there are three more behind us! Sora: What is it, Whamon? Whamon: IT'S THE ENEMY!!! Kids: (collective gasp)

I like that the dub specifies "according to the audio sensors" because this fills in a bit of a plot hole. Koushiro is supposed to be reading Whamon's sensory data, so it's unclear how he was able to see something behind Whamon on the laptop feed from Whamon's eyes.

...well, Whamon doesn't have eyes, but the feed from Whamon's... wherever their visual senses come from.

The dub steps in and has Izzy clearly state that he's picking it up from Whamon's ears. Whamon heard the arrival of three more.

Divermon 4: DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY!!! Tentomon: (inside, watching the laptop) OOOOGH, THEY'RE GAINING ON US!!! Tai: THAT'S IT!!! I'M TIRED OF RUNNING!!! COME ON, WHAMON, LET'S GO UP TO THE SURFACE AND FIGHT!!! Matt: RIGHT!!! Tai: Well!? Whamon: Let me try one more thing. Hopefully, it'll work. Palmon: What do you mean, hopefully it will work!? Mimi: That's what the Captain of the Titanic said! And what if it doesn't work!? What's Plan B!? Tai: I still think we should turn and fight! I hope you know what you're doing, Whamon.

Mimi's dialogue is expanded and Tai gets an extra line to close us out, but this exchange is mostly the same.

Acting on their plan, Whamon speeds ahead until they reach the edge of a massive underwater trench, then swims down deep.

Hangyomon 1: What is he trying to do? Hangyomon 2: That moron! They're trying to escape through this narrow passage? Hangyomon 3: Yes! This is our chance to pen them in!

The Hangyomon pursue Whamon down into the trench.

Hangyomon 1: There's no use trying to resist! Hangyomon 2: This is the end for you! Give up! Jou: (inside) WE'RE DONE FOR!!!

Triumphant, one of the Hangyomon jams their harpoon down into Whamon's hide.

Mimi: NOOOOOOO!!!

In the dub:

Divermon 1: What's he trying to do!? Divermon 2: Whamon must be crazy, trying to escape into such a narrow space! Divermon 3: Stay with him! No matter what! (The Divermon pursue Whamon into the trench) Divermon 1: You, in the big whale: PULL OVER!!! Divermon 2: It's no use! We've got you trapped! Joe: (inside) OH NO!!! THEY'LL CATCH US!!! (Divermon jams his harpoon into Whamon's hide) Mimi: NOOOOOOO!!!

The traffic cop bit from the Divermon made me laugh. XD Even Digimon Adventure knew that ACAB.

Suddenly, when it seems like the Hangyomon are having their moment of triumph, the most unexpected happens. Well, unexpected for anyone not familiar with nautical physics.

The crushing depth of the ocean pulverizes the oxygen tank for the Hangyomon hanging from the harpoon, sending them floundering and flailing back up to the surface. The other three back off, watching their drowning companion with stunned confusion.

Hangyomon: DAMN IT!!! Koushiro: (inside) Water pressure! So that was Whamon's plan! (Kids cheer and celebrate) Gomamon: Whamon's a deep sea Digimon, so water pressure is nothing to them! Jou: YOU DID IT, WHAMON!!!

Obviously, the Divermon do not yell curse words in the dub.

Divermon 1: Huh? Divermon 2: Tough break. Divermon 3: That's gotta hurt! Izzy: (inside) Prodigious! They can't take the water pressure; That was Whamon's plan all along! (Kids cheer and celebrate) Gomamon: Whamon's built to handle pressure! Unlike some of us.... Joe: Well, forgive me for not being a whale!

If that crack is meant to be at Joe's expense for screaming "WE'RE DOOMED" seconds before Whamon's plan thwarted the Divermon, then it's hilarious. XD

And fair. That is an actual thing he did in the original too.

So we're safe from the Hangyomon for now, but the kids need to figure out next steps.

Taichi: That was close! Tailmon: What a clever trick! Hikari: (afraid) Onii-chan, what do we do now? Sora: We can't stay at the bottom of the ocean forever. Koushiro: I've got it. Hikari-san, can you come over here?

Koushiro whispers his plan into Hikari's ear.

Koushiro: If you take your whistle and.... (beat while Koushiro silently explains the rest) Hikari: (face slowly turns to a smile) Okay!

Hikari moves to the center of the "room" and gives everybody a bow. Then she picks up her whistle.

Hikari: Here I go.... Koushiro: If you would, please.

Taking a deep breath, Hikari blows into the whistle with all her might. She blows so hard that the cartoon physics of her effort lift her off the ground. The high-pitched whistle tone bounces off the walls not just inside Whamon's stomach, but also in the trench beyond.

Following the bouncing signal, Koushiro locates a nearby opening in the trench wall.

Koushiro: It worked! Thank you, Hikari-san. Hikari: (breathing heavily, but excited) ...yeah! Koushiro: I used the reverberations from the sound to find a tunnel up ahead. We might be able to escape through it. Whamon: Yes, I felt it too. That tunnel is connected to an area of land above the surface!

Just like that, we have a plan of escape. Whamon makes his way towards the tunnel.

In the dub:

Tai: Boy, that was close! Gatomon: I didn't know you had this kind of hidden attack! Kari: This is great, but what are we going to do now? Sora: Yeah, we can't stay at the bottom of the ocean forever! Izzy: I've got it! Kari, come over here for a moment. (Kari goes over to Izzy) Izzy: (whispers unintelligibly) Kari: (face slowly turns into a smile) Ahh...! Right! (Kari goes to the center and bows) Kari: (bowing) Ta-da! (finishes her bow) Ready? Izzy: You can do it! (Kari echolocates for the team) Izzy: Yeah! We did it, Kari! Thanks for the help! Kari: (breathing heavily, but excited) ...sure! Izzy: The whistle was sort of like sonar. We used the reverberations from the sound to find a tunnel. And there's one up ahead that should lead us to land! Matt/Joe/Mimi: Cool! / Nice job! / Far out! Tai: Isn't that great, Whamon? Whamon: What? Tai: I said, ISN'T THAT GREAT!?!? Whamon: I can't hear you. Someone was whistling in my ear. But there's a tunnel up ahead! It should lead us to land!

The dub has Izzy explain that the tunnel will take us to the surface so that it can set up the "Someone was whistling in my ear" joke. Which is a great bit; I was sitting here wondering how Whamon is coping with the sudden high-pitched noise assailing their eardrums while watching the original.

Though this gag does render the whole scene pointless, as Dub Whamon finds the tunnel himself despite missing out on Izzy's explanation of the plan. Ultimately, the dub kids deafened Whamon while accomplishing nothing.

Unfortunately, the children are about to learn about the one glaring vulnerability that active sonar has during naval warfare: Enemy ships can hear your pings.

We cut to MetalSeadramon listening to the sound of Hikari's whistle cutting through the water.

MetalSeadramon: I can see through your plan. Enjoy playing submarine while you still can!

Making a ninety degree turn from his original course and angling down deeper, MetalSeadramon takes off in pursuit.

Down in the trench, Whamon enters an area glowing with bright green.. kelp? Honestly not sure what those are supposed to be, but it's a gorgeous enough sight that the girls are all gathered around Koushiro's laptop.

Mimi, Sora, & Hikari: AHHHHH, PRETTY!!! Koushiro: Ah! Yamato: There's the tunnel! Mimi: (silently vibrates with excitement) Palmon: WE'RE SAVED!!! Mimi: HOORAY!!!

Mimi stands up, ecstatic, and a chill runs down what passes for Palmon's spine. Sweat beads form instantly on her head and she whips around to see Mimi holding out her hands, as if inviting Palmon to another twirl.

Palmon stares at Mimi for a second, then jerks away out of fear.

The dub frequently misses story pieces that are buried in sound effects, and this is no exception. Since MetalSeadramon did not verbally acknowledge that he could hear Hikari's whistle, the dub team seems unaware that he's meant to be reacting to it. The waters around him in their version are silent.

MetalSeadramon: Those fools think I don't know where they're headed? They're easier to figure out than a two-piece jigsaw puzzle! Enjoy playing submarine while you can! RRRRYARGH!!!

The submarine crack does make it, and "easier to figure out than a two-piece jigsaw puzzle" is a creative burn. Still, I'm not sure why he suddenly whips around and shoots off a different direction if he already knew what their plan was. Really needs that whistle to react to.

Mimi, Sora, and Kari: WOW!!! PRETTY!!! Izzy: Aha! Matt: A tunnel!? Mimi: YAAAAY!!! Palmon: WE'RE SAVED!!! Mimi: I've got to get changed! Palmon: (sweatdrops and chill; whips ar ound) Huh!? Mimi: (holds out hands) HUUUUUUG!!! (beat) Palmon: (flinches and steps back)

...nothing happens in this scene; How did you manage to butcher it?

First off, Matt reacts to the tunnel with surprise, so I guess he wasn't listening when Izzy explained that they found a tunnel a minute ago.

Mimi stands up and declares, "I've got to get changed!" as we approach the tunnel. Um. Why? Did she pack a specific tunnel-exploring outfit? Also, we're in a huge empty room; Is she planning to start changing right there in front of everyone? What a weird-ass line.

Palmon's panic is then reframed to be a reaction to Mimi wanting to change. For some reason. Then when she whips around, Mimi has completely changed her intentions and now wants a hug.

With Mimi's original intent to twirl Palmon around the room again like last time gone, Palmon flinches away from hugging Mimi for what is now no reason at all.

Suddenly, a heavy impact shakes Whamon. We're under attack once more.

Taichi: Did they come back!? Tailmon: We weren't able to shake them off? Whamon: Be careful, everyone. It's MetalSeadramon! Kids: EHHHH!?!?

MetalSeadramon chases Whamon into the tunnel, which narrows to the point of being too tight for either to pass comfortably. Whamon pushes through, breaking through to the surface and momentarily leaving MetalSeadramon behind.

In the dub:

Tai: NOT AGAIN!!! Gatomon: How can those fishheads be back? Whamon: They're not! Be careful, everyone! It's MetalSeadramon! Kids: (fearful wailing)

Surprisingly, Whamon and MetalSeadramon make it through their chase scene with no silence-breakers. The dub team sits back and lets the tension simmer and boil.

Whamon finally escapes to the surface, letting the children out into the fresh air.

Taichi: It's so bright! Mimi: The air's so fresh! Yamato: Who'd have ever thought the sun could make you feel so good?

The kids enjoy a relieved laugh, happy to be out from undersea.

The dub gives us some silence-breaking dialogue while we're slowly zooming in on Whamon and setting the stage.

Tai: Is everybody okay? Izzy: Where... Where are we!? (Zoom in on Tai and the others) Tai: The sun's so bright! Mimi: Smell that? Fresh air! Matt: I feel I've been underwater so long, I might never take a bath again!

Izzy asks a very good question that goes completely ignored once the original script picks up.

Also, Matt, that's gross. You weren't even in the water. That's not how that works and I hope Hiroaki does some parenting when you get home.

The kids all share a jovial moment of mirth, which is swiftly undercut by an inquisitive voice from the sea.

MetalSeadramon: What's so funny?

MetalSeadramon bursts up from the water, startling everyone.

Yamato: METALSEADRAMON!!! Sora: HOW!?!? MetalSeadramon: This is as far as you go, Chosen Children! Taichi: Ugh!

I don't know why they're surprised. Frankly, if Whamon could squeeze through there, the serpentine MetalSeadramon should have had no problem. Snakes are practically made for squishing through crevasses. Plus his invulnerable metal plating means he'd have a trivial time forcing his way through jagged rocks and shit.

(Ironically, this means Whamon's plan did not work, and only ended up postponing the kids' plan of surfacing and drawing battle lines. Though Whamon did provide us with a change of scenery more conducive to land mammals, so it wasn't for nothing.)

In the dub, fitting his more fiery personality, MetalSeadramon sounds offended by their laughter.

MetalSeadramon: Mind telling me what's so FUNNY!?!? (MetalSeadramon bursts out of the water)

The dub puts a commercial break here on this cliffhanger, and then we come back to him bursting out of the water again to remind us where we are.

(MetalSeadramon bursts out of the water) Matt: IT'S METALSEADRAMON!!! Sora: How can it be!? MetalSeadramon: It was only a matter of time before you came up for air. NOW YOU'RE GOING DOWN WITH THE SHIP!!!

MetalSeadramon tries to explain how he got here. His explanation syncs up well with the earlier moment, when the dub missed him picking up the whistle sound. He's explaining his plan.

However, this explanation ignores the fact that he did not meet them at the surface; He chased them through the underwater tunnel. Sora's bad question does not warrant an answer.

Cornered now, Whamon has one last trick up their sleeve.

Whamon: Everyone, hang on! TIDAL WAVE!!!

Whamon leads us off with Tidal Wave, swimming in a tight circle and sending out powerful waves through the water. One of the Hangyomon gets washed away by the force of Whamon's current.

...there have not yet been any Hangyomon in this scene. The first we see of them is being washed away.

In any case, Whamon's Tidal Wave buys the kids time to figure out how to put their plan of attack into action.

Hangyomon: WAUGH!!! Agumon: Taichi! Taichi: (nods approvingly) It's up to you now. (to the others) Let's head to shore and take up battle positions while Agumon is distracting them. Yamato: Understood! Jou: Gomamon and I will provide cover! Taichi: Great! Sora: The waves are subsiding. Taichi: (holds out Digivice) Agumon! Agumon: HERE I GO!!!

Agumon Warp-Evolves into WarGreymon, setting the plan into motion.

In the dub:

Whamon: Everyone, hold on! TIDAL WAVE!!! (Tidal Wave washes away a Divermon) Divermon: BLAAARGH! Agumon: Should I? Tai: (nods approvingly) Sure, go for it! (to the others) While Agumon gets their attention, let's cross over to the shore and prepare ourselves for battle! Matt: Aye-aye. Joe: Uh, Gomamon and I will stay here and bring up the rear. Sora: Joe, don't be such a coward! Tai: (holds out Digivice) AGUMON!!! Agumon: Here I go!

(heavy sigh)

Jou's offering to lay down covering fire for their escape. You know. Because Ikkakumon is an artillery cannon and that's one of the things that artillery does.

The dub changes this to Joe trying to chicken out and stay with Whamon. Then replaces the somewhat important information that the Tidal Wave is ending and we need to act now with Sora yelling at him for his cowardice.

Thanks, I hate it.

WarGreymon gets his complete Warp-Evolution sequence while Garurumon, Ikkakumon, Kabuterimon, and Birdramon evolve offscreen.

Finally it's time for Ultimate vs. Ultimate. Rematch with the first Dark Master, and with the Dramon Killer, we can't possibly--

WarGreymon goes straight for the throat with Dramon Killer, but his claws glance harmlessly off of MetalSeadramon's invulnerable armored body.

WarGreymon: Tch! MetalSeadramon: Hyegh... I have the same Chrome Digizoid as you. You can't hurt me so easily!

Well, that plan went to shit quicker than expected.

As planned, the children withdraw to the shore while MetalSeadramon's focus is on WarGreymon. Yamato takes Takeru and Patamon on Garurumon. Koushiro ferries Taichi, Hikari, and Tailmon on Kabuterimon. Jou and Sora ride their Partners alone.

Taichi: WHAMON!!! THANK YOU!!! LEAVE THE REST TO US!!! Whamon: But-- Yamato: At your size, you'd be an easy target! You need to get out of here as fast as you can! Sora: Hurry! Whamon: I understand!

Reluctantly, Whamon dives beneath the surface once more.

Dub WarGreymon seems a little more pleased with his total lack of damage dealt.

WarGreymon: RAAAAHH!!! (slash, clink) AHAHA!!! MetalSeadramon: What was that, a love tap? I'm made of Chrome Digizoid too, y'know! You can't hurt me that easily! (Meanwhile, the DigiDestined withdraw to the shore) Tai: Whamon, thanks for everything but you can leave the rest to us! Whamon: What, no tip? Matt: Hurry and get out of here! You're an easy target! You're just too big! Whamon: Are you calling me fat? I'm just big-boned.

We lose a bit of characterization for Whamon here. In the original, Whamon is committed to this whole ordeal and is reluctant to leave now that the fight has begun in earnest. It takes Yamato and Sora joining Taichi in telling them to go to convince them to back off.

Dub Whamon shows no reluctance but makes a couple parting quips before he goes.

The Hangyomon cut in but, true to his word, Jou lays down artillery cover fire to get Whamon out of there.

Hangyomon: YOU'RE NOT GETTING AWAY!!! (Hangyomon throws their Strike Fishing harpoon) Ikkakumon: HARPOON TORPEDO!!!

It's not super clear if the Hangyomon is trying to stop Whamon's retreat or the kids' tactical withdrawal.

Ikkakumon fires a Harpoon Vulcan into the air, which explodes into a shower of missiles and pepper the water. This brings all of their attention on Jou and provokes a counterattack; They shower Jou in retaliatory Strike Fishing harpoons.

Jou: IKAKKUMON, GANBARU!!! Ikkakumon: GOT IT!!!

With the Hangyomon now focusing on them, Ikkakumon Super-Evolves into Zudomon.

In the dub, Divermon uses his line to just call his attack.

Divermon: STRIKING FISH!!! Ikkakumon: HARPOON TORPEDO!!! (Missiles spray the water; Divermon retaliate) Joe: Ikkakumon, quick! Digivolve!

Once again, ganbaru has no easy translation, so they have to improvise. It's not too hard to do so.

Freshly evolved, Zudomon towers over the water, casting his silhouette down on those he intends to destroy.

Zudomon: HAMMER SPARK!!!

A single Hammer Spark sends a jolt of electricity through the surrounding sea and creates an upward explosion of water.

The attack is a little too effective, as it pulls MetalSeadramon's attention momentarily.

MetalSeadramon: ULTIMATE STREAM!!!

MetalSeadramon's nose cannon carves an arc across the landscape.

Hurrying to try and shut that down, WarGreymon rushes in with Brave Shield; A defensive technique using his invulnerable Chrome Digizoid shield to block any attack.

It does not go well.

Blocking the Ultimate Stream, WarGreymon pushes in until he gets too close.

WarGreymon: BRAVE SHIIIIIIIIIEL-- MetalSeadramon: MORON!!! WarGreymon: Oh, crap!

As he nearly did with Tailmon before, MetalSeadramon suddenly stops firing and chomps, snatching WarGreymon up in his jaws. Immediately, MetalSeadramon dives underwater, taking his prey with him.

Taichi: WarGreymon! Koushiro: That's bad. He's at an overwhelming disadvantage in the water.

Super effective trap by MetalSeadramon. We're again seeing what Piemon was talking about with that whole, "I can fight circles around you because you became Ultimate yesterday and have no experience."

In the dub, WarGreymon calls Terra Force for some reason.

WarGreymon: TERRA FORCE!!! MetalSeadramon: GOT YOU!!! WarGreymon: NOOOOOOO!!! (MetalSeadramon takes WarGreymon down into the water) Tai: WarGreymon! Izzy: Big trouble! WarGreymon's at a huge disadvantage in the water!

Calling the wrong attack confuses the action, making it less clear that this was a trap. Terra Force is supposed to be WarGreymon's big offensive blast, so it comes across like he was going on the offense and then got countered.

Cut over to Zudomon, who drops another Hammer Spark into the water. We hear the Hangyomon cry out again. So I guess Jou and Zudomon have been pretty busy doing that.

Jou: Where are the others!?

Brief shot of Birdramon and Garurumon offloading their passengers.

Jou: That's great--HUH!?!?

Jou suddenly notices MetalSeadramon. For no clear reason, despite it explicitly being said like ten seconds ago that WarGreymon's at a disadvantage underwater, MetalSeadramon has resurfaced. He has WarGreymon up in the air, still between his teeth.

WarGreymon is struggling at this point. His muscles are weakening and he's losing his grip. He can't keep this up.

Hikari: WarGreymon! Taichi: DAMN IT!!! MetalSeadramon: What a fool you are, WarGreymon! THIS IS THE END!!!

Suddenly, in a super blurry moment of truth, Whamon erupts from the sea and slams into MetalSeadramon. (Yes, it's a still image that just looks like that.) The impact knocks WarGreymon out of MetalSeadramon's mouth, saving the day.

MetalSeadramon: IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE!?!?

Roaring with outrage that Whamon would dare even try, MetalSeadramon cuts loose with one shot from his Ultimate Stream. And... at their size, Whamon is an easy target. The beam rips through Whamon's head for a kill shot.

Taichi: WHAMON!!!

In the dub:

Joe: Oh, boy. Is everybody okay?

Jou's follow-up lines are cut. The camera shows us everyone getting off and then pans over to MetalSeadramon, but Joe offers no indication that he's seeing any of that.

Kari: WARGREYMON!!! Tai: I can't watch! MetalSeadramon: I'm tired of playing around with you, WarGreymon! SAY GOODBYE!!! Narrator: Is this really the end for WarGreymon? Will the DigiDestined ever defeat the Dark Masters? Find out on the next Digimon: Digital Monsters.

Yeah, the dub cut and ran early again. They pick WarGreymon in MetalSeadramon's mouth as a good cliffhanger and skedaddle, despite there still being a full two minutes left in the episode. I have no idea how they're going to make up all this time they keep losing.

...actually, no, I have a hunch.

Well, I can tolerate one scene but I'm not waiting for two minutes of plot so we're skipping ahead. NEXT DUB EPISODE STARTS NOW.

MetalSeadramon: I'm tired of playing around with you, WarGreymon! SAY GOODBYE!!! (Whamon strikes!) MetalSeadramon: RIVER OF POWER!!! (Whamon struck)

You know, if I had to wait a week between "You need to leave; You're too big of a target!" and Whamon getting shot dead immediately upon returning, I don't feel like it would hit as strongly. Whamon's sacrificial death is paying off both a warning they were given earlier in the episode and their demonstrated reluctance to do what they were told and save themselves.

We also lose MetalSeadramon's immeasurable fury at being interrupted, as he opts to simply call his attack in the dub.

Whamon's choice to get involved saves WarGreymon's life, but at the cost of their own. They pay for their heroism by receiving the full force of MetalSeadramon's power. But, by letting Whamon momentarily pull his attention and giving WarGreymon a second to breathe, MetalSeadramon has made a mistake just as fatal.

WarGreymon: BRAVE TORNADO!!! MetalSeadramon: ULTIMATE STREAM!!!

Hoisting his Dramon Killers above his head to form a spear with his body, WarGreymon spins up his Brave Tornado and fires straight down the barrel of MetalSeadramon's Ultimate Stream. This is basically a much better conceived version of what he was trying to do with his Brave Shield.

MetalSeadramon unloads into WarGreymon, but Wargreymon's own invulnerable Chrome Digizoid armor and spinning attack deflects the beam and allows him to travel all the way down its length. He enters MetalSeadramon's body through the Ultimate Stream emitter itself, carving his Dramon Killer straight through and setting off small explosions of Ultimate Stream energy throughout the serpentine shell.

Finally, WarGreymon bursts through MetalSeadramon's back, triumphant.

With one last dying roar, MetalSeadramon collapses into the water. We hang on a shot of WarGreymon and Kabuterimon looking triumphantly down at the slain Dark Master for fifteen straight seconds while Show Me Your Brave Heart plays in the background. Then finally cut to Taichi, Hikari, and Koushiro on Kabuterimon.

Taichi: We did it....

Stunningly, none of this tremendous violence gets cut from the dub. Both Whamon's headshot and MetalSeadramon's gruesome death make it in uncut.

Fifteen seconds of a still image and no dialogue is a lot more than the dub is willing to tolerate. Fortunately, WarGreymon is facing away from the camera and Kabuterimon doesn't have lip flaps so they can teabag the corpse to their hearts' content.

WarGreymon: So much for your impenetrable Chrome Digizoid armor! Looks to me like it got a little rusty! Kabuterimon: Next time you decide you want to rule the waters, do everybody a favor and take a bubble bath instead! Tai: We won!

Sick burn from WarGreymon. Kabuterimon should probably workshop his smack talk a bit more.

With the fight over, WarGreymon reverts to Koromon and the remaining kids head to shore. Everyone gathers around the dying Whamon.

Whamon: Chosen Children... Please... Save our world.... Kids: WHAMON!!! Jou: (a little late) WHAMON!!!

Whamon disintegrates into pixels; Their data flying up into the sky. The children watch Whamon die with tears in their eyes.

Takeru: Whamon... is dead? (quiet moment as the kids grieve) Koushiro: Look at that!

Koushiro draws the group's attention to MetalSeadramon, who is also disintegrating into pixels.

Yamato: It's happening to MetalSeadramon too. Sora: (watches the data pixels rise into the sky; solemn) They're floating in the air. Gomamon: Where do you think they're going? Tentomon: (frantic) TO THE TOP OF SPIRAL MOUNTAIN!!!

I mean. It is a sort of heaven. Throne of the Four Heavenly Kings, anyway.

But no, that's definitely not where the data of the dead is supposed to be going, which is why Tentomon's flipping the fuck out about it. We know what's supposed to happen to deceased Digimon. More on that in later episodes.

The dub sort of tries to talk around Whamon's death.

Whamon: ...the DigiDestined... Please... Save this world.... T.K.: Whamon... Where did he go...? (Whamon's pixels rise into the sky) Izzy: LOOK THERE, EVERYONE!!! Matt: It's happening to MetalSeadramon too! Sora: (watches the data pixels rise into the sky; cheerful) They're floating in the sky! Gomamon: I know where they're going! Tentomon: Spiral Mountain's Peak!

They avoid saying the 'D' word and everyone's kind of chipper about this like they're watching a mysterious and wondrous phenomenon. Even Tentomon's line is delivered in this sort of triumphant and hopeful tone when. Um. No, that's bad. It's bad that their data is going up to Spiral Mountain's peak.

Still, it's pretty obvious that they're dead, all the same.

Suddenly, the ground begins to shake terribly.

Gomamon: AN EARTHQUAKE!?!? Taichi: No! (points at Spiral Mountain) THAT'S why the ground is shaking!

MetalSeadramon's death unravels the part of Spiral Mountain that was made from stolen ocean.

Sora: The ocean! Jou: It's disappearing!

The children watch from the Digital World as the ocean ribbon of Spiral Mountain is steadily unmade, returning its terrain to the world. From Earth, they too can see this section of Spiral Mountain become undone.

However, the humans aren't the only ones who can see the ocean withdrawing from Spiral Mountain. The Dark Masters, reclining up in their palace can see the same.

Piemon: Look. The ocean is disappearing. Pinochimon: (gets down off the sofa) I guess this means it's my turn. Heh.

We close this episode on Pinochimon's devilish smirk, preparing to face what he brings to the table next episode.

In the dub, Tai's line is a little awkward.

Kids: (miscellaneous yelping) Tai: No! (points at Spiral Mountain) That's the real reason for all the shaking! Over there! (Ocean ribbon is becoming unmade) Sora: The ocean! Joe: It's, uh... Disappearing!

Tai corrects them about the earthquake, but no one ever said there was an earthquake so there's no segue into his line.

Piedmon: Well, you don't... sea that every day! Puppetmon: Tag, I'm it! MetalSeadramon out, Puppetmon IN!!! Hehehehehehehe!

The dub puts a commercial break at the end of Puppetmon's line, so as to preserve the cliffhanger that was originally the end of the preceding episode.

Assessment: So ends the reign of the first Dark Master. A bit awkward that they're consciously and purposefully setting themselves up as a sequential set of minibosses, when tag-teaming the Chosen Children worked out so well last time.

And that is also our fourth character death of the arc. Returning cast are dropping like flies now that we're officially in the war arc.

I wonder what happened to the Hangyomon? If Gomamon didn't have lines during Whamon's death scene, I could make a crack about Zudomon still being offscreen shocking them through the whole thing.

I was really surprised at how not-entirely-accurately I remembered the final MetalSeadramon fight. I remembered WarGreymon attacking MetalSeadramon internally but I thought he went down MetalSeadramon's gullet, not the Ultimate Stream emitter. Huh.

Guess he took a chance that the gun part of MetalSeadramon had to be made from gun parts and shit instead of the indestructible alloy that the rest of him was made of.

The dub... They keep staggering their endings further and further away from where the original ended. I have a hunch they're buying space for the many cuts that will need to be made to the Pinochimon fight, but that's just a guess.

[unofficial-book-of-quotes-tm]

I mean, I'm very easily affected by guilt anyway, so I could probably go now and just apologise for just the way I've lived my life.

Joe Thomas (series 08, episode 03: Stuck in a mammal groove)

In 20 minutes from now you must apologise to Alex for something you've done in that time.

[slashfuhrer]

So, my dear barry rats. The Mammal (2016) bathtub scene(s)

They've become a sexy meme in the fandom alright and I love them, but I still don't understand why they're in the movie?! Like, what in Margaret's intentions and feelings led to her deciding to fondle Joe in the first bathtub scene and outright have sex with him in the second one. I get the choking bit — Margaret heard that was an option to forget about all the lousy stuff in life and in her distress wants to try it out. I get why Joe goes ahead with the sex - he's a horny teen and it is a sign of status in his delinquent friend group to have "had" women.

But in neither of the scenes do I understand Margaret's actions (other than they're actions of a distressed and depressed woman, but I don't think that's enough explanation). Really, how do you get 1) from wiping away a crying kid's (who reminds u of ur dead son) tears with a washcloth to grabbing at his dick and 2) from wanting to forget the shit stuff in life by getting choked out to having sex with the kid 0.0001 seconds later

Somebody please explain

[bodyalive]

When it comes to settling down young children, parenting advice focuses mostly on one tool: What to say.

If the toddler starts to have a tantrum, say this. If a child can't go to sleep, say that. And if you wind up yelling in the process, well, there's even a script for how to apologize.

But all around the world, many parents turn to another tool to soothe a crying child and settle them to slumber. And it's totally silent.

Instead of talking, many parents touch their child. But it's not just any type of touch. Oh no! This touch occurs at a particular speed and with a particular pressure.

After decades of research, neuroscientists are beginning to understand how our skin senses this specific type of touch and how that sensation lights up regions of the brain to alter our emotions.

Jose Grajeda and daughter, Victoria. "If I wanted to go to sleep as a child, I would go cuddle with my mom and she would give me piojito," he says — Spanish for "little lice." The late Peruvian linguist Martha Hidlebrandt described piojito as "gently scratching the scalp of a child as if he were being relieved of the itching of imaginary lice" — hence the name.

Jessica Lutz /for NPR

How to give piojito

In Korea, parents call this type of touch yakson. In Taiwan, they say 秀秀(xiù xiù). In India: "we have different languages in different parts of the country, but in Delhi, it's called malish," says Dr. Sarika Chaturvedi, who studies infant massage practices at Dr. D. Y. Patil Vidyapeeth College in Pune. "This type of touch is so ingrained in our culture. It's all about avoiding frustrations in the child and enhancing the pleasurable connection."

But in Latin America, parents may just have the best name of all: Piojitos, which literally means "little lice."

"If I wanted to go to sleep as a child, I would go cuddle with my mom and she would give me piojito," says Joe Grajeda, age 40, who was born in northern Mexico and now lives in Alpine, Texas, with his three young children (Joe owns a coffee shop in Alpine and is a good friend of mine).

"Now I love giving my children piojito," he says, smiling brightly. "My sons like to sit there and just kind of enjoy the moment. Victoria – my daughter – loves it when she's ready to go to sleep."

With piojito and other types of soothing caresses, the key is not to go too fast or too slow. And don't press too deeply. "You scratch someone's back, or their head, with the tip of your fingers. And you do it very lightly and softly," Grajeda explains. "You want to make the skin kind of crawl a little bit." (The late Peruvian linguist Martha Hidlebrandt described piojito as "gently scratching the scalp of a child as if he were being relieved of the itching of imaginary lice" — hence the name.)

Jose Grajeda gives his daughter the same kind of soothing caress that he got from his mom when he was a child.

Jessica Lutz /for NPR

How a gentle caress affects the nerves

When you give a child piojito, the gentle stroking turns on special nerves, in the hairy parts of our skin, called C-tactile fibers. So yes, that includes your head, back and arms.

These nerves are tuned to detect a specific speed of caressing, says Ishmail Abdus-Saboor, a neurobiologist at Columbia University. "If you rush across the skin surface too quickly, a person may actually perceive the touch as aversive," he says.

All mammals have these special neurons. And all mammalian parents use a stroking touch or licking with their young offspring, Abdus-Saboor says. "There's evidence these neurons also respond to maybe even warmth as well," he explains. "So these neurons have the ability to detect social cues between two mammals as they caress, touch and embrace one another, such as a mother with her offspring."

Of course, human parents have been doing this type of touching "forever," Abdus-Saboor says. "This rubbing and stroking is something that we do almost innately with children. And I think it's because our system is wired to tap into this network [in the brain] that provides soothing and relief."

For some kids with autism spectrum disorder, this type of touch might not feel good, Abdus-Saboor notes, and may even feel bad. "A cardinal symptom of autism is hypersensitivity to sensory stimuli, like auditory and tactile stimuli," he says. "The relationship between touch and reward can be greatly altered."

Back in February, Adbus-Saboor and his colleagues published a landmark paper in the journal Cell showing how activation of these special neurons, in mice, lights up the dopamine pathway in their brains. This pathway motivates animals to seek out the touch again – to seek out togetherness, cuddles or grooming.

Jose Grajeda and his daughter, Victoria, cuddling before bedtime in Alpine, Tex. "I love piojito," he says — that's the soothing caress his mother gave him when he was a kid. "I ask my mom now – and my kids – to give me piojito now," says the 40-year-old father of three. "I think it's my language of love."

Jessica Lutz /for NPR

In people, activating C-tactile fibers not only feels good, it reduces the perception of pain in adults and babies and lowers their heart beat rate, studies have found. There's evidence that activation of these nerves may also trigger the release of naturally occurring opioids in people's brains, such as endorphins.

"These endorphins relax you and cause you to feel at peace with the world," says psychologist Robin Dunbar at Oxford University. And they help to bond or connect you to the parent who's caressing you. "They make you feel very trusting with the individuals doing the gentle stroking."

Neuroscientist Helena Wasling isn't convinced by the studies linking caressing to endorphins. But she thinks, rather, this type of touch is critical for helping children's feel safe and as if their bodily needs are met.

"Being touched is just a basic need, like having dinner when you are hungry. You need to have this touch in order for you to reach a good, steady state in your body. You need it so you can feel safe enough to go out and explore the world." says Wasling, who has studied the neuroscience of touch for more than a decade and now is a physiotherapist at Sahlgrenska University Hospital in Gothenburg, Sweden.

The dawn of the anti-touch era

During the end of the 19th century, many European pediatricians actually advised parents not to touch their children because they said it would weaken them and make them dependent. This idea hit a fever pitch in the 1920s when the psychologist John B. Watson wrote a parenting book, "even though he knew basically nothing about parenting," Wasling points out. In the book, Watson advises mothers to stay away, physically, from children: "You could give them a pat on the head if they did something really special, but when you greet them in the morning, you could give them a handshake."

Watson thought that lovingly caressing children – as parents all over the world have done for thousands of years – would prevent them from becoming independent, self-sufficient adults. By touching, parents would be "building up a human being totally unable to cope with the world it must later live in," Watson wrote in the book Psychological Care of Infant and Child, published in 1928.

Watson believed that by not touching young children and toddlers, parents teach them to be independent at an early age, Wasling explains.

"But then it turns out that the opposite is actually true," Wasling says. "Children who get a lot of touch, support and closeness from their parents are actually the ones that dare to go out and explore, as they grow up, because they have a basic safety that they can rely on. They have a solid foundation."

[chattanoogazoo]

Celebrating African American Scientists in Zoos and Zoology! 

Happy Black History Month from the Chattanooga Zoo! To celebrate, we’re honoring Black scientists who have changed the world of zoos and zoology forever through their work and discoveries. Mary J. Wilson and Charles Henry Turner are two Black scientists with incredible stories who have made significant contributions in the field of zoology throughout their lives.  

Mary J. Wilson was born January 2th, 1937, in West Baltimore, where she would reside for her entire life. Her mother became sick and passed away when she was only five years old. Despite the pain of that loss, Wilson would grow into a woman who was nurturing as she was fearless. Wilson's daughter, Sharon Wilson Jackson, said that her mother “was a no-nonsense lady,” (The New York Times Magazine).

Mary J. Wilson graduated from Paul Laurence Dunbar High School and chose to pursue a profession that fit her love for animals. She began her first job at the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore when she was 21 years old, she quickly became the first African American senior zookeeper, working with mammals from the beginning of her career. Wilson initially had no zoo experience or specialized animal training but was known to have “a willingness to work hard and love animals,” (The New York Times Magazine).

At the time, most female zookeepers specialized in “nursery” animals like birds or small mammals, but not Wilson. She was drawn to larger animals and worked with elephants, gorillas and tigers, and often went above and beyond to ensure the animals received the highest standard of care.

In the 1960s, when an infant gorilla named Sylvia moved into the Baltimore Zoo (now the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore) without her mother, Wilson took the gorilla under her wing, personally providing attention, love, and care to Sylvia. Wilson told the Baltimore Sun in 1996 that she had to care for the infant like you would a human baby. “Sylvia was like a baby to me. She was this cute little, reddish-colored gorilla.The first thing when I came in the morning, I used to give her a bath. Then I’d feed her breakfast. I’d cook three-minute eggs for her. She just became like my little daughter,” Wilson explains (The New York Times Magazine).

As Sylvia grew up, she outgrew her exhibit at the Baltimore Zoo. Sylvia was moved to the Cleveland City Zoo where she met an infant gorilla who had lost her mother, just like Sylvia. The zookeepers quickly noticed a special bond forming between Sylvia and the infant. Sylvia acted like a mother to the baby gorilla, despite never having children of her own. Instead she learned these skills for Mary J. Wilson and passed the love Wilson had shown to her along to another animal in need. “They said it was because of how I raised her that she was good with that youngster,” Wilson said (The New York Times Magazine).

Wilson worked at the Baltimore Zoo for 38 years where her legacy would pass down to her daughter. There was no pressure for Sharon Wilson Jackson, her daughter, to pursue a career in animal care. Instead, she said that Wilson just wanted her to do her best in whatever path she chose. However, Jackson developed a deep passion for animals like her mother did, possibly due to the fact Wilson often cared for animals at home throughout her career, exposing Jackson to a wide variety of species. Jackson pursued a career in Zoology and became the first Black woman employed by the Omaha City Zoo. 

Wilson retired from the Baltimore Zoo in 1999 and passed away in 2020 at 83 years old. She suffered from dementia, and when she lay sick in her hospital bed, Jackson tried to find ways to talk to her mom despite her declining mental state. Wilson never responded until Jackson asked about an elephant named Joe who bobbed his head to communicate. Wilson responded to the memory of her animal friend, allowing her to talk to her daughter in her final days. 

Charles Henry Turner is another groundbreaking Black scientist who did a different sort of work in the animal world.Turner was born in 1867 in Cincinnati, Ohio, and was encouraged by his parents to make learning and education his biggest focus. He graduated as the valedictorian from Gaines High School in 1886 then earned his bachelor’s, master’s and Ph.D in zoology from The University of Cincinnati. He is the first African American to receive a Ph.D from the university. 

Next, he began pursuing a career in teaching. He first taught at Clark College from 1893 to 1905, then at Sumner High School in St. Louis. Perhaps his most impactful work was completed at Sumner High, not at a college facility or laboratory. He did all of his research there and would retire with over 70 published research papers including behavioral studies of the honey bee, mound-building ants, and cockroach audiology. Turner did not limit himself to study only the world of insects but also studied the brains of annelid, avians, and crustaceans. During Turner's research he discovered new species of ants, crustaceans, bees, pigeons, wasps, spiders, cockroaches, and moths. Sumner High is where he discovered that insects could hear and alter their behavior based on previous experiences. This has paved the way for all future entomologists (insect scientists) to understand their insects. Generally, his discovery told us that insects could learn and recognize patterns. 

Due to Turner’s studies we now know that honey bees have color-vision and vivid memories that allow them to tell other hive mates exactly what distance, location and quality of a flower field they just returned from. He was also able to discover that spiders could assess a damaged piece of their web and find a concept to best fix their web.

Turner retired after 33 years of teaching and passed away on February 14, 1923. His legacy lives on through literature and other forms of appreciation. A children's book called “Bug Watching with Charles Henry Turner” by M.E. Ross is one of the most popular. Turner's biography is available as “The Biography of Charles Henry Turner, Pioneer of Comparative Animal Behavior Studies.” In 1923, the first school for African American disabled children, the Charles Henry Turner Open Air School for Crippled Children, was founded, now called Turner Middle School. His first teaching job, Clark College, also named Turner-Tanner Hall in his honor.  

Mary J. Wilson and Charles Henry Turner are two scientists we should honor and appreciate for years to come. Wilson and Turner have both helped today's zoologists learn more and connect with animals on a deeper level. Wilson deepened our understanding of intelligence and relational capabilities, and she helped us see how following a passion for animals can have a lasting impact. Turner’s study of insects changed how scientists understand the minds of various species and, due to his studies, people can better appreciate the intricate and complex lives of insects. We celebrate Wilson and Turner as the amazing scientists they were, and their contributions to zoos and zoology.

[forestmushroom]

Movie: Mammal (2016)

This movie is uncomfortable. It tells the story of a middle-aged woman, Margaret, who offers shelter to a homeless troubled youth, Joe, while grieving the death of her estranged son that she abandoned long ago. We tag along on a journey through the development of their relationship, a relationship that reveals parts of both her and him that they try to hide from the eyes of their neighbours and community. But not from us.

This story is about grief and trauma. It's about feeling unloved and trying to hold on to the only person who seems to understand us. It's a quiet and confusing narrative that makes us question our own experiences and values.

Because although common, grief and trauma are complicated. They are complex. We deal with loss and adversity in the best way we can, with the tools that we have. And those of us who don't have good tools, who don't know any better - we often turn to self-destruction.

I think this movie is about that, at it's core. It's about two completely different and unrelated people who have their own troubles and traumas and find themselves unable to cope. And in the midst of all the chaos, they find each other in more ways than one. In ways that make us feel uncomfortable and make us doubt ourselves and our own interpretations because it feels so right, but it also doesn't, at the same time.

The camera work in "Mammal" is phenomenal, giving us hints on the developing sexual attraction between Margaret and Joe. The physical touch between them is one of the main pathways that alert us to that dynamic. Both of them feel confused, maybe as confused as the viewers, finding themselves nurturing a mother-son bond while unconsciously feeling an undeniable attraction towards each other.

An attraction that grows until it snaps. It feels sure but also doubtful and wrong. Many interactions between them are awkward, likely due to the intensity and quickness of the feelings that arise. They get to know themselves through each other.

One of my favorite parts of this movie is the water theme. It is used to shed some light on the psychological states of the main characters, especially Margaret's, provoking a melancholy that betters the experience of the viewers. It is a window that enables us to be aware of the constant suffering of each character.

Because even though they found each other, they are still suffering.

Overall, it is a movie that leaves us with even more questions than the ones we started off with. It is prone to different interpretations and meanings, which I think is extremely captivating. I believe this movie makes us project ourselves on the characters and the narrative. This whole post is my interpretation, these words are me and my story. I highly recommend watching it and finding your own perspective!

Disclaimer: This is 100% my opinion and the meaning I built around the movie by myself ♡ Feel free to interact!

[dustedmagazine]

2023: Bryon Rides Anxiety’s Peaks and Valleys

Yo La Tengo

This year really tossed us all around like a gigantic blender, swirling everything together into a writhing mass of fine particles. It’s been quite the ride. Thankfully amidst the chaos, there was music. The vast cornucopia of exhilarating sounds wound itself around the many genres, and the dozens of releases spread across these twelve months. It provided the healing salve to combat the bedlam lying in the realm beyond our ears.

For me, live music in 2023 was about quality over quantity. The two shows that affected me most this past year were aligned along the theme of reunion. I’ve been a fan of Yo La Tengo since high school but had strayed from the band’s past few releases. This Stupid World brought me back into their universe. I jumped at the chance to see them in Toronto; it had been decades since I last saw them play live. They played two sets, one soft and one loud, and they didn’t disappoint. As an added bonus, I got to meet fellow Dusted writer Ian Mathers at the show. Toronto post-rockers Do Make Say Think played their first show in six years in March, around my birthday. I wasn’t going to miss it. They unleashed an enticing set of music, playing material from across their entire catalog with intense energy. It was hypnotic and exhilarating. They were also jovial, joking about the current career prospects of the band members. It was a fun night.

Many perennial favorite groups and artists released excellent albums this year. Yo La Tengo returned to their early Matador form with This Stupid World, while The Clientele expanded into new, lush and uncanny territory on I’m Not There Anymore. Califone’s Villagers pushed the band’s adventurous, bluesy roots-rock into an experimental wonderland. Bill Orcutt released Jump On It, revealing his softer side. The Live in Brooklyn 2011 set from Sonic Youth found the group trying out songs they rarely played live, as they wound down their decades-long existence. Joshua Abrams’ Natural Information Society showed that they’re not done unleashing mesmerizing sonic salvos with Since Time is Gravity. Finally, Daniel Bachman continued to push his singular brand of Americana toward the outer limits with When the Roses Come Again, and Intercepted Message found Osees covering Cisco Systems’ telephone hold music. It was a good year for long-beloved institutions.

New to me this year was the band Famous Mammals and their polyglot post-punk album Instant Pop Expressionism Now! I returned to it time and time again; it was the soundtrack to my late summer and my autumn. Digging deeper into the San Francisco band’s origins, I discovered a previously hidden world of Bay Area post-punk, populated by a tight-knit scene that originated with The World, which would fracture into Famous Mammals, Non Plus Temps, Blues Lawyer, Children Maybe Later and others. The LP in question blends elements of Swell Maps, Young Marble Giants and Television Personalities, aligning with those outfits’ brashness, naivete, and wry sense of humor. It was at the top of my list in 2023 and led me to explore the SF underground further. That digging led me to Will York’s encyclopedic tome Who Cares Anyway? York gives an in-depth perspective to the goings on in the Bay Area from the post-hippie origins of its punk scene to the self-destructive chaos of Flipper and the visionary artistry behind acts such as Mr. Bungle, Caroliner, Thinking Fellers Union Local 282, et cetera. He also investigates the unique personalities that comprised the scene such as Brandon Kearney, Gregg Turkington, Seymour Glass, Barbara Manning, and Joe Pop-o-Pie. The book is worth exploring if you’re at all interested in any of the names I mentioned.

I always highlight at least one Canadian release, and this year I really got into the self-titled debut from Toronto duo You Can Can. The pairing of sound artist Andrew Zukerman and vocalist Felicity Williams is the perfect comingling of the familiar and the otherworldly. Alien soundscapes intercept beautifully crafted song forms, with synth squiggles and abstract patterns writhing alongside folk music signifiers. Let’s hope that You Can Can have more music in store for us in 2024 and beyond.

Bryon Hayes

[ballwizard]

straidor joes

hes banned from public spaces because hes too scary and weird sorry. he cant go grosry shopping he has to hunt in the woods for small mammals and dubious berries