#Jiraiya is getting too old for this shit - he tries.

[maelstrom-of-emotions]

Answering Eternity

Pairings:

001. SasuNaru | Sasuke x Naruto

Summary:

Of course, it was about Sasuke. It was always about Sasuke because Naruto and Sasuke were always just so damn complicated. In ways, he and Orochimaru had never been. In ways, he barely understood and wasn't sure he wanted to or deserved to know.

Or:

A drunken night reveals a lot more than Jiraiya expected or ever wanted.

[Posted on Wattpad as well, under the same name, if you're more comfortable reading it there.]

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Chapter One: Echoes Of Time.

[❝Behind every sweet smile, there is a bitter sadness that no one can ever see and feel.❞]

To say that Jiraiya was shocked would be an understatement.

After all, he hadn't expected to see a familiar head of golden spikes hunched over the bar, in front of a dozen or so sake cups.

But, never let it be said that the Great Jiraiya was stunned by anything for, after looking like a gaping fish for a couple of minutes, he shook it off, dropping onto the barstool beside the knuckleheaded ninja and slinging a (what he hoped to be) paternal arm around his shoulders.

"Isn't it against your ninja way to drown your sorrows by drinking?" Jiraiya gleefully asked. He was happy to have finally found something to use against the blond (Because every other supposedly embarrassing thing was given no reaction by the orange-clad ninja besides the long sigh and the exasperated 'Pervy Sage' that followed right after).

Naruto harshly shrugged Jiraiya's arm off his shoulder.

"Shut up! Besides, you're one to talk, old man. Usually, I have to drag your drunk ass out of these places, or has your memory gone bad due to your old age?"

"Brat. Now, is that any way to talk to your kind and patient teacher?" Jiraiya asked, shaking his head in faux disappointment. "Especially, when it seems you're finally deciding to follow my example of living a fulfilling life."

The blond snorted rather harshly into his glass. "Fulfilling life, my ass. It has nothing to do with you, old man," he muttered.

"Is that so?" Jiraiya raised one eyebrow. "Well, if it isn't my greatness that has had an impression on you, what are you doing here? What has made the Great Naruto Uzumaki so down in the dumps that he had decided to take support from a drink?"

Naruto glared up at him for a moment or two before letting his gaze drop wearily back to his glass (somehow looking 20 years older as he did so), and Jiraiya felt his amusement and playfulness wash away at the sight of his appearance.

His face was pale, unnaturally so. The normal tan was nowhere in sight like it never existed. His hair was far messier than usual and standing in all directions after no doubt just rolling out of bed. His eyes were glazed, red-rimmed, and looked awfully similar to the profundity of the vast ocean: dark, gloomy, and lonely.

At that moment, he just looked so…unreachable. It felt as though Naruto was stuck on an island so far off in the distance that there was no point in even trying to call out to him.

"I had lunch with Sakura-chan," the boy finally said sullenly. Acting the complete opposite of how he normally was at the talk of Sakura (which was basically jumping off the walls at the slightest mention of the pink-haired girl). "She wanted to talk about, you know. Stuff."

"Stuff?"

"Sasuke," Naruto said, and there was something final about the tone the name was said in as if it was supposed to tell the listener everything they wanted or needed to know about the conversation. And maybe if you were Kakashi you could.

But since Jiraiya wasn't Kakashi he couldn't help but, flinch inwardly. This was dangerous ground. Anything involving Sasuke was, especially with the blond. And while Jiraiya wouldn't even pretend that he paid attention to his student's incessant rambling, the name Sakura had often come up to figure out that Naruto sported quite a big crush on the girl. There was also the fact that both Naruto and Tsunade whined about Sakura's crush on the black-haired shinobi.

He resisted the urge to throw his head into his hands and growl. This was one of the reasons he had sworn off taking students; he didn't have the energy, patience, or will to deal with the damned heartbreak and drama again.

"Ahh," Jiraiya started, in faux understanding. "So, I take it she still likes him, and ignored your attempts to gain her affection and attention huh kid?" asked Jiraiya. He couldn't help himself from adding with a leer, "You know if you'd have just used my techniques you would have already won her over for sure."

Two seconds later he was hunched over the floor, clutching his stomach in pain. Despite the pain, Jiraiya had to be impressed with his student. He hadn't even seen the blow coming. Maybe, Tsunade had rubbed off on Naruto more than he thought.

"Now, what was that for?" Jiraiya demanded, climbing gingerly back to his seat. He eyed Naruto warily, not sure whether the blond would punch him again.

"Don't talk about Sakura-chan like that, old man!" Naruto yelled. "She's not that kind of girl!"

Naruto faltered a bit and fiddled awkwardly with his glass, rubbing the circles on the glass with his thumb. "Besides," he said softly. "That's not what we talked about, anyway. She—Sakura said that she's…well that she's giving up on him."

"Oh," Jiraiya said, feeling more than a little confused. "Did she say why?"

"She said that it's been three years," he said scowling. "And that it's too hard to keep getting her hopes up, only to get hurt again and again when he doesn't come back, and so she's giving up on him. Just like that. And you know what? She wants me to do the same!"

Jiraiya didn't try to answer. He knew from personal experience that once the blond started ranting like this it was better to let him blurt out whatever he was thinking.

"She said that I needed to 'come to terms with the fact that Sasuke's gone,' and to 'accept the reality; that he's not coming back,' Naruto said, making air quotes around the words. "She said it's been three years, that it's not healthy for me to keep on trying to bring him back, and that I need to move on…"

Now, Jiraiya made no pretenses of paying attention to his student. But, even he could hear the strained note in Naruto's voice.

"So, what did you say to her?" he finally asked, after a couple of minutes of suffocating silence.

Naruto ran a trembling hand through his hair, tugging on it wildly like he wanted a distraction. "That she was right, of course. That I'd promi—try.  I mean, what else could I say? And then I said there was something I needed to do and I left, because…well…she's right, and I know she's right, but she just doesn't get it no matter how much she pretends to. How do I explain to her that I can't fucking do that?"

The glasses on the counter shook as Naruto slammed his fist on the counter in obvious frustration.

"It’s different for her," he stated bitterly. "I mean, I'm not stupid, I know misses him. I know how much it hurt her when he left, but it's just not the same. She can move on. Even without him, she still has a life; she has the hospital, training with Tsunade, her family, and her friends. Everything. Heck, I've even been home long enough to see how happy she is. For her, Sasuke is just a painful memory that's preventing her from moving on with her life. Nothing more. Nothing less."

"And for you?" Jiraiya asks and immediately wishes he hadn't.

The look on Naruto's face was a mixture of furious, desperate, and a bit exasperation. His sapphire eyes were so serious they looked like tossing waves in the ocean. Jiraiya found himself remembering a time when he had seen a similar expression, it had been when a three years younger Naruto—lying on a hospital bed, covered in bandages—stared down at a hitai-ate with a single scratch down the center. And that to had been about Sasuke, go figure.

Of course, it was about Sasuke. It was always about Sasuke because Naruto and Sasuke were always just so damn complicated. In ways, he and Orochimaru had never been. In a way, he barely understood and wasn't sure he wanted to or deserved to know.

Naruto cradled his head in his hands. "I think…I think if I did what Sakura wanted me to do, and finally admit that he's gone, and that's he never coming back, I would die," he said, bluntly. Like he was accepting the truth of something.

"I—I've been defining myself by him for as long as I can remember—maybe even longer than that—by the ways I'm like him and the ways I'm not and the things we've done to each other. Letting him go…well, it would be like losing my reflection or something. I wouldn't know who I am anymore. And I thought—I thought, it would be different, you know? After three years and after everything that he's done, but I can't! He's always in my godamn head, always everywhere. Don't get me wrong. I want to defeat the Akatsuki, I want to become Hokage and I want peace and happiness but, when I think about what I'm actually working for: it's Sasuke, it's always him. I have to bring him back, or I don't know what's gonna happen to me—don't wanna find out either—'cause were so tied up in each other, me and him. He was my first, my one and only, my everything—and shit, we're just so fucked up, we always were. I mean, we were friends but, it was complicated. Between, the ways he was messed up and the ways I was messed up, and the way we were messed up together. And most of the time we only fought and hurt each other but, we were always so damn close. Too close, too tangled up in each other to even begin to make sense of it. It was all just blurred lines. And now he's gone, the stupid bastard and I miss him so damn much and I fucking need him so much it hurts. I can't give up on him, I just can't. If I do, I won't have anything left."

He finishes with a harsh, choked sound, and he hunched in on himself, shoulders shaking, breath coming out in jagged pants looking like he wanted to say this for years, and who knows? Maybe he had.

Before, Jiraiya could say anything Naruto started talking again. "I just don't know how to be me without him. I wish I could but, I don't. It hurts, but what hurts more is that he seems to be doing perfectly fine without me—insane, sure but, otherwise completely fine…" he trailed off.

Now, Jiraiya hadn't seen him cry often, but he'd seen it and recognized it well enough.

"I think you've had enough to drink for tonight," he said gently. "What do you say we go back to your apartment now?" Naruto mumbled his assent but, didn't get up. Jiraiya was about to repeat his question or just drag him anyway but, then Naruto began to speak again.

"I think Sakura's mad at me."

"No shit…I mean, I'm sure she's not mad at you kid."

"I wish she could just understand," Naruto said, and Jiraiya was struck by how soft and sad and how fucking young his voice sounded. "But she doesn't—she had that crush, but she was never in love with Sasuke, not really. She let him go and I—he punched a fucking hole in my chest and I still just want to bring him home. He could betray me a thousand times and I'd still chase after him, willingly. I think—no I know, I'm really fucking in love with him…"

He trailed off in a daze. Jiraiya stared at him for a couple of moments before shaking it off—just as he had done when he had first entered the bar and had seen the blonde—before wrapping an arm around his waist and carrying him out of the bar, back home.

Neither of them noticed the pair of midnight black eyes that were following them all the way back home.

It seemed like Jiraiya wasn't the only one who was stunned by the revelation tonight had brought.

[❝Sometimes, even tears can't express that much pain, as much as a smile is hiding.❞]

[backatitagainatichirakus]

Honestly Kakashi did his best with what he had lmao.

For starters, he DID teach team 7 useful jutsu, he taught them chakra control, every single genjutsu Sakura knew before she went to Tsunade was taught by Kakashi. Who do you think taught Naruto how to hide underground, a jutsu that was crucial when fighting Neji, Jiraiya? PLEASE. No need to mention Sasuke's Chidori.

He also taught them the fundamentals of teamwork, to never leave someone behind. That they were not expandable, and that they needed to rely on people. (What a fucking hypocrite. But isn't hypocrisy an important part of parenting/mentoring/big brothering or whatever the hell Minato was trying to do when he got saddled with Kakashi ?)

He never wanted to be a teacher, it was imposed onto him, he had zero experience, and he'd never had to try too hard to understand anything, so he definitely would not know what to do if someone didn't get things on the first try.

He did what he could while he could. The damn Plot was working against him.

He was a traumatized, depressed 26 year old man who probably never believed would live past 17, but there he was! In charge of the two most traumatized orphans in the entirety of Traumatized Orphans Village, and a girl who was NOT taking this shit seriously.

Ah, but they had time. There was no war brewing, no need to torture these kids to forge them into dead-eyed deadly weapons. They could go at their own pace! Also apparently the academy curriculum had changed to MAXIMIZE the child mortality rate! Why teach them tree walking when, truly, flower arrangement was a far more important skill? That's a girls only class though! Let the boys run around meanwhile they don't need to learn flower stuff. Ah, the blond one can't pronounce Chakra? fuck that kid srsly, his vibes are TOO rancid... demonic even (WHO SAID THAT?!)

And then? Their first C-rank mission? Turned into an A rank and left him out of commission for a week! But it was okay, it was fine, he could handle it. If he didn't die when he tried to kill himself in his ANBU days then it was unlikely he would now! Though he had to depend on three newly minted genin to protect themselves and their lying bastard of a client haha, but he was being so chill about it Kakashi was such a chill man haha. When was the last time someone he cared about died? Years! He was definetly not cursed or anything.

And then at the end of that week he had to fight the assassin of Assassin Village that had put him out of commission on the first place, and he also had to push through at least two of his triggers and afterwards explain the literal embodiment of two other triggers how Shinobi actually work! It's not about saving princesses, boy! It's about dying :).

They go back, and he decides that the kids handled themselves well enough, and the chunnin exams are being hosted by Orphans Village this year! What a great opportunity for the children to learn about Shinobi life in a controlled environment! Even back during Ninja War III they went through the chunnin exams and nobody even died. They're gonna be just fine!

Unfortunately, turns out The Banished Local Crazy Scientist of Traumatized Orphans Village had his eyes on one of his students (the one that he unwittingly projects on) and now! Triggering Orphan #2 is cursed!

AND THEN. The village gets attacked! The president/major dies! Kakashi gets sent into a torture coma in which he gets the Pincushion Jesus treatment for what literally feels like months! Hosted by the utmost expert on genjutsu torture to ever come out of their beloved Orphans Village!

Then he wakes up, turns out he wasn't tortured non stop for three months! It was just a dream, silly. And! since the Village is short staffed he immediately gets sent on mission after mission! Sorry Kakashi, we don't believe in convalescence periods when the only thing injured was your mind. And then, when he comes back from his many missions, their new alcoholic major/president tells him Orphan #2 defected. But don't worry! she sent Orphan #1 after him accompanied by a group of meddling kids and a dog!

So, Kakashi goes after them. Finds and picks up an unconscious Orphan #1, Orphan #2 is long gone. He goes back to the village, thankfully some meddling sand kids helped the meddling leaf kids. Then, Orphan #1 announces he's going out of the village on a road trip with The World's Worst Godfather to train! He's so lucky he can turn into a hot lady so that old man will train him if he just let's him look a little.

Then unserious girl turns serious, ditches him for their newly crowned (hatted?) president/mayor/president who despite being an alcoholic with a crippling gambling addiction is leagues better than their old president/mayor, who had a crippling addiction to Danzo's pussy and a penchant for letting pre-teens lead assassin squads just because they were such a delight to have in class!

Kakashi did his fucking best and, like ALWAYS, it was not enough.

At least he got to rekindle his old flame with Maito Gai.

[sup-hoes-its-me]

Emotion (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: Kakashi again...can't get enough of this mans tbh. U r an empath due to your kekkei genkai and Kakashi has always been difficult to read. Friend to lovers. Sharing one bed folks, we got some steamyyy shit here. Angst warning as well.

Word count: 6000

He was always alone. Ever since his childhood, he walked the world completely alone with only a few people there to support him. No mother, no father, no mentor, no teammates. He was at the mercy of fate his entire life, things being stolen from him time and time again. 

He just prayed that he could keep her. Y/N L/N, the only woman to have wormed her way into his heart and made a home there.

When they first met, Kakashi and Y/N, she cursed him for being such a weirdo. Apparently his mind was empty and his heart was seemingly full of sand. He was conditioned that way, and that is how he lived for the longest time. It wasn't a surprise for him to hear that.

But she thought it was stranger than anything she'd ever seen, and so she followed him. She would figure him out, bring him back down to Earth from his supposed high horse. That woman was determined, and frankly he didn't mind her being around. She was quiet enough that it didn't matter. Not to mention on the missions they had together, she was quite the partner.

Over time, she'd learned to read him like a book. It was part of her clan's kekkei genkai. The ultimate empath, I suppose. The ability to read a persons every single emotion and then turn that, if they so choose, into power. 

She was never the greatest fighter, but her negotiation skills were the best they could possibly be. She would dive into the emotions of another and manipulate them backwards and forwards to get what she wanted. 

It was overwhelming, walking into a room of people and immediately being bombarded with so many feelings coming at her all at once. Occasionally, if the situation was bad enough she'd have to take a seat and clear her mind, organizing each person in her mind like a filing cabinet of empathy.

But damn, did she try to weasel out every bit of feeling she could. It was just something that came so naturally, she couldn’t help but instigate whatever was brewing up inside him.

"Kakashi, if you're happy, you know you're allowed to express it. You don't have to hide it away," she told him, staring at the masked man sitting across from her at the table. He was watching as she sharpened her kunai, and she could feel the content running off his body in small bursts. He was feeling better. Better than he had in a little while. Of course she picked up on it.

He sighed, rolling his eyes. She was always reading him, he knew that. He just preferred when she refrained from mentioning it. It did, most times, feel like a bit of an invasion of privacy, how she could deep dive into the corners of his mind. There were things no one else could ever possibly know that she did. It was strange, but he was used to it.

"What? Want me to smile or something?"

"No, but you should let yourself go. Just drop the facade."

"Stop doing that. Getting into my head."

Quietly, she set down her blade and picked up the next one, taking a cloth and softly wiping away any dirt. Her eyes slide up to his for a moment, her all knowing gaze filling his vision. "It's basically impossible. Especially if you're the only one around. There's nothing else to focus on except you." He knew that. It wasn't like she had an on or off switch. That was the downside of this dojutsu. Unlike sharingan and byakugan users, hers was always pulling the strings of her brain.

"You've got that mission next week. With Naruto and a few of the other kids, right?"

"Yes."

"It's A rank, isn't it?"

She hummed in agreement. He had a habit of knowing about all her missions, more importantly being the dangerous ones. He wasn't necessarily scared for her, probably not. He was more cautious than anything. There was this nagging feeling in his head that he shouldn't let her go on these missions alone. That it was too dangerous for her to handle. 

But he was wrong. She was stronger than he thought, and could hold her own in battle. He was just a worrier. He'd just lost too many, seen too many bodies in front of his eyes to trust. God, he wanted to trust her, but he couldn't. She was too vulnerable. His friend, one of the only ones who hadn't died yet. For all he knew, her days numbered, that's how paranoid he was about everything.

"You'll be careful?"

"That's a silly question." He gave her a look that said he was more serious than anything, and she sighed. "Of course I'll be careful. I have people that would miss me if I wasn't." He was one of them. She could sense his fear whenever she said goodbye and his relief when she returned. He really tried to remain objective, but his heart said otherwise. 

And she would be a liar to say that she did not experience the same relief seeing him come home from missions, even if he was beaten and bruised to the bone, she was just happy he made it back. So many never got to come home. It was a sick world, they lived in, but she could relish in the little comforts.

"Don't worry about me. I'll always turn out fine. It's you and your dumb students we have to worry about."

"I hear you. Those kids are enough to drive a person mad." He rested his chin in his palm, the mere thought of those kids causing his blood pressure to rise.

"Thankfully my students never gave me any trouble. Sweet little things."

"Well, aren't you just lucky, Y/N?"

"What can I say? Kurenai and I got the luck of the draw with our students. You men had it rough, I have to admit," she laughed. It was funny that he was so unfortunate to have gotten assigned the Uchiha and the Uzumaki, two completely opposite but persistent forces. "Despite your perverted tendencies and your perpetual lateness, you still did a great job teaching them."

"Thanks. But do you really have to call me a pervert? I'm really not."

"Yeah? That explains why you read porn in public. Admit you're a pervert, you dumb old man."

"We're the same age-" he began to argue, but she just cut him off with her harsh words.

"Creep," she muttered, running the sharpening stone along her blade. He narrowed his eyes. She was being awfully annoying, and he knew she could sense his irritation building up. Yet she continued just to be a pain in the ass.

 He warned, "Hey. Watch it, L/N."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop...Pervert." She ducked her head when his hand reached out to wring her around the neck for being so frustrating, and she continued to laugh. It was nice, having a friend she could joke with and be around without having to worry about what she said. He might pretend to be mad, but she could feel the happiness still rolling off his body thickly under all that fake neutrality. 

He was happier than he'd been in a long while, and she found herself swelling with pride knowing that she might have helped make that happen. Her lips curled into the gentlest of smiles as she peered back up at him, and he found himself smiling back even if it was just through the mask. 

He swore in that moment, he'd make sure Y/N didn't end up like all the others. She would live. He'd break this wretched curse just for her. He was sure of it.

______

"How could you be so reckless?! Do you want to die?" Kakashi shouted at his friend who could only stand there angrily, arms crossed over her chest and one foot in the other direction. She didn't need to be lectured by someone who took just as many risks every single mission as she did.

"Kakashi, I really don't want to hear it. You have no idea how it went."

"Yeah but Naruto does, and we were just talking."

She placed her free hand over her chest and exclaimed even angrier than before, "You're going to trust a kid over me? Naruto even?" It was just low to trust Naruto when she was right there to explain herself. Just let her speak for once, she wanted to say but he of course, had something else to say.

He waved his arm toward the ramen shop, eyes glaring. "Don’t be rude. He's right there. What is wrong with you?"

Indeed, Naruto was sitting inside Ichiraku with Jiraiya at his side, munching on pork ramen while the pair fought outside. Kakashi was eating with them, taking a break from his work to just relax with his master and student when out of the corner of his eye he noticed Y/N stumbling down the street on her crutch. 

He heard when she got back home that she was in the infirmary for a couple days. He had no idea for what reason until Naruto explained to him what happened. She was being needlessly reckless on the battlefield, relying too much on her kekkei genkai and not enough on her brain. She threw herself right in the way of an enemy, for what reason, he didn't know. All he knew was that she could have died and she didn't seem to care one bit.

Rightfully so, he was mad. Normally he preferred not to make a scene in the open like this, but there wasn't anyone else around and he was red-hot.

She huffed. "He knows I don't mean anything bad by that. How could he not? I'm also his sensei, you know."

"Doesn't matter," Kakashi brushed off her words. "What you did was dangerous and you don't seem to care. Next time what are you gonna do? Run right into the arms of the enemy?"

"No, I would never. Kakashi, you're just being a jerk right now. I'm literally injured from the hip down and you have to yell at me? Jeez, just be grateful I'm alive, okay? Things happen," she tried to reason with him, but he didn't acknowledge it. He wasn't exactly feeling all that rational.

"Things don't just happen like that."

She groaned, "Well apparently they do, because it happened to me."

His eye narrowed and she noticed the way he clenched and unclenched his fists a couple times by his sides. Clearly he was just trying to channel his anger, but he really had no reason to be so upset. She hadn't done anything to him. He really needed to relax. "This is so like you L/N's. Always so emotional. Always thinking you're stronger than you actually are."

"Excuse you-"

"Get a grip, you aren't going to live forever."

"First off, don't interrupt me. Second, don't talk about my clan ever again, you hear me, Hatake? We don't live to please your dumbass," she cursed, how dare he say shit about her clan. That asshole. He was just being so...so unlike himself. She had no idea what had gotten into him, but she hated it and just wanted to continue on her way before he said something else stupid. 

Normally, she didn't expect to be bombarded in the street nearly the second she leaves the hospital, but Kakashi never fails to surprise her.

"I've got to go. Don't bother following me." With that, she took off past him, rushing as fast as she could on her crutch, which was pathetically slow. Silently, she cringed at how ridiculous she must look waddling around like this in a fit of rage. Nevermind that. She had better things to do.

He huffed out the breath he had been holding to walk back into the ramen shop, taking his seat beside Naruto and slouching down into the stool. Immediately, Master Jiraiya met his eyes, wisdom about to drip from his tongue once again. "You need to go apologize."

"Why? She clearly doesn't want that right now."

"Well, to start, you insulted her clan which is a big no-no. Imagine saying that to an Uchiha. You're lucky she let you off so easily."

"Yeah, Kakashi. You kinda just attacked her out there in the street," Naruto added.

Jiraiya continued, "Mainly though, the longer you let her stay angry, the worse it'll be for you in the end. Trust me."

"She said don't follow her."

"And you're actually going to listen?" The older man laughed. "You and her fighting reminded me a lot of young Tsunade and I. And let me tell you, you don't just let a woman like that go. I sure did. It’s not a fun time."

"Yeah, Kakashi sensei, go find Y/N."

The jounin stood from his stool and slapped a ramen voucher onto the counter top to pay for his meal. This really didn't seem like a good idea, he had to admit. But he would trust the process. This was the author of his favorite romance series, after all. How could he get something like this wrong? To put blind faith into Jiraiya on realistic romantic matters was probably the not the wisest thing to do, but it was the only thing he had to go on. "I'll go, but this doesn't sound like good advice."

"If you let this go, she's might run into the arms of another man for comfort. Do you want that?"

Tch, there was no way she was gonna do that. She barely had any friends. If anything she would go see Kurenai. Still, he pulled back the cloth at the entrance and muttered, "I gotta catch up to her."

"'Atta boy," Jiraiya cheered, waving off the copy nin. "Another bowl, Naruto?"

"Yes, please!"

Kakashi walked down the streets, looking for the woman he was sent on a mission to find and apologize to. He searched through the shops and the stands for her, walked by her apartment no sign of her. It wasn't until he stumbled by the bookstore that he found her eyeing down the display out front, leaning comfortably on her crutch.

"Y/N," he called to her, and he watched as she tensed up without a second. He caught up to her, walking to stand beside her in front of the store windows. "I need to talk to you."

"What do you want?" She questioned, peering over at him with a quirked brow. He seemed calmed down by now. Thankfully. "Also, didn't I tell you not to follow me?"

"You did, but Jiraiya told me to apologize."

"So this isn't even on your own accord, you're doing it because Jiraiya told you so." He groaned. Of course she would twist his words and find some way to make things bad on his end. She was angry with him, what did he expect to happen? Her to accept him with open arms?

"Listen, I'm sorry for yelling at you. I was just overwhelmed."

"With what? I wasn't paying attention to anything but the anger." She picked at her finger nails in an attempt to remain casual, but really she was just itching to hear what he had to say. She was willing to give him a second chance, only because he was normally so sweet. This was just out of character for him.

He replied, "I was scared for you. Naruto told me about how you nearly died, and I was upset that you did that. I was upset because I could only think about what if you had been overpowered and the enemy killed you." His explanation was weak, but he hoped she would accept it as truth. He really wasn't lying. When he heard she was in the hospital indefinitely, he nearly had a heart attack himself. He worried for her every time she left on a mission without him. It just meant that if she failed, he wasn't there to protect her himself. He couldn't handle that thought.

"So you were worried?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's sweet of you, isn't it?"

"I'd miss you, you know. If you died."

She froze. That wasn't what she expected him to say. When she looked over at him, he was just staring into the storefront window, but she could feel the sadness in waves running off his body. She wobbled around on her crutch to face him, a hand getting coming up to rest on his shoulder. "It's okay."

"I don't want you going on missions without me because every time it scares the shit out of me thinking they'll bring you back dead. Every time. I don't know why."

"It's normal to worry for your teammates."

"It's not the same, and you know it."

"Ah." And she felt it. Even if it was just a little hint of something, she felt his infatuation roll off his body and she took it in like a drink of cold water. So refreshing. Was he attracted to her? She had no idea before this that he cared so much but from the sound of it, he had some strong feelings attached. She wanted to reach out and hug him, tell him it was going to be okay, but that felt too personal. Instead, she leant back and muttered, "You know, Kakashi, I worry about you too."

"It's good we both have someone who cares, right?"

"Right."

"Well, I should be on my way, but, uh, if you need some help getting up to your apartment-"

"I should be fine."

"Okay, good."

"Yeah, so uh, see you," she turned on her heel and started heading in the other direction toward her home when suddenly, his hand reached out to stop her. 

"Wait, Y/N. I think..."

"What is it?"

"It's just that I need you. Please be careful from now on."

She stopped, turning around just enough to get a good look at his face. He only watched her, a glimmer of something she didn't recognize in his eye. 

"As long as you take care of yourself too, Mister."

"Y/N, I…"

All she could feel was a rough fabric rubbing against her face for a second before the full picture came into view. 

Mask to lips. I repeat, mask to lips.

She stared at him, as he kissed her right there in front of their favorite bookstore. When he pulled away after a second, he seemed just as shocked as she was. She pressed a hand to her forehead and struggled to find the right words to say. 

Kakashi Hatake just kissed her. 

And she definitely liked it. More than any other kiss she’d ever had before. She loved it. Mask or not, that was one of the best surprises of her entire life, and she honestly had no idea how to react. She settled for the easiest possible thing, running in the opposite direction, give herself time to think over what that meant for the two of them if anything at all. Kakashi wasn’t the type to have a girlfriend, he was always single. There just wasn’t room in his life for her.

There was plenty room in her life to fit him in comfortably. And there was more than enough room in her bed as well. 

Flustered, with heat coming to sit in her cheeks and run up her neck, she turned and motioned in the direction of her home. She just had too many thoughts to sit here and pretend she wasn’t dying inside from the tension.

"I've got to run home now," she managed to say. "Well, not run, with these crutches and all, but you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I should be going too. I'll see you around,” he mumbled, running his hand through his hair and down the back of his neck. 

"See you."

And into separate directions they went, just as confused as ever.

______

"Kakashi, I swear to God, if you don't stay on your side of the bed, I'm gonna-

"You'll what? Hit me? Go ahead. You're the one that keeps snoring."

"Shut up!" she exclaimed, rolling over in the bed and planting her fist directly in the middle of his chest. He didn't even flinch, she hadn't meant to hurt him anyway. She was just so annoyed. You would think that the stoic Hatake would be easy to sleep beside but no, he was a pain in the ass. He was rude. He was way too hot under the sheets. He still smelled like dog even after taking a bath. Just overall a bad experience, definitely 0 out of 10.

"What? It's the truth."

She groaned, throwing one of her arms over her eyes, burying her nose in the crook of her elbow. "Whatever. Don't ever mention my snoring again. It’s embarrassing me." She was self-conscious. She was usually so good at maintaining a cool and calm presence and now Kakashi was seeing that all crumble. Great. 

"Fine."

"Can't you just stay on your side so we can both sleep comfortably?"

"Can't you just stop snoring so I can sleep comfortably?" 

What a bastard. She could practically feel him snickering beneath his mask, and she felt frustration bubbling up in her chest. He was annoying. The audacity of this man, laughing and causing trouble in the night when they clearly had a mission to continue tomorrow. She could actually feel the delight radiating off his form.

She jumped up from her spot and threw herself onto the man beside her, attempting to make a vicious grab for the throat so she could maybe shut him up for just a few seconds. He dodged easily, taking her wrists in his calloused hand and lowering them to rest on his chest. Still, he continued to laugh at her. She felt like an utter joke sitting there on his stomach, looking at him through loose strands of her hair. 

She grumbled under her breath, her cheeks puffing out full of embarrassment, "Stupid."

"Me? Stupid? Look at you."

She replied swiftly, "What about me? You're the one with that ugly grin on your face." Quickly, she snatched her hands out from under his to cross her arms over her chest. She rocked back a bit on her knees to get a better look at his indeed ugly face. 

Except he definitely wasn't ugly, and that grin was more devilishly handsome than anything else. And honestly, she felt herself starting to get flustered in the position she'd put herself in. Of course she didn't hate Kakashi. He was one of her friends and coworkers. It was just that sometimes he could be casually attractive and she found herself falling under his spell. 

He just looked so fucking good lying there, staring up at her with a glimmer in his dark eyes. She could see the smile outlined under his mask. His hands had felt warm and firm around her own fingers. She missed his touch, there she said it, any touch on her body from Kakashi Hatake felt like heaven. He was far too cute, and the soft contact between them drove her crazy.

She wanted to punch herself for thinking such silly things. This was Kakashi, one of her frenemies. Not boyfriend material. Stupid. Silly. 

If only he didn't look so good, Jesus christ. Get your brain out of the gutter, Y/N.

Little did she know, his mind was already waist deep in those damn gutters and he was loving it.

"You really think that?"

"What? That you're ugly?" She asked, tilting her head to the side just a bit as if to think about it. Only a second later, another mischievous smile crossed her lips. "Of course."

He lifted his fingers to slid along her waist and down to her hips, fingers curling ever so slightly around her curves. She shuddered as his hands slid down to hold the sides of her bare thighs in his hands, his warm, strong hands with the softest fingertips. She wanted to die.

Had they kissed before? Yes. We're they somewhat romantically involved? Maybe. Did that give him any good reason to rest his rough hands on her thighs like that? Probably, and her thoughts were running a mile a minute at this point. 

"Kakashi...stop that," she said softly, her voice lowering from how it was before. She suddenly felt a lot smaller, scared even. Hooking up with Kakashi wasn't something she planned on doing anytime in the near future, if at all. He was her friend, and she felt strange sitting in his lap with his hands all over her. It felt so right but wrong at the same time, like she was breaking the law. Well, laws of friendship that is.

She cared about Kakashi, more than she wanted to admit. He wasn't just a friend, he was something weirdly in between and she couldn't exactly put her finger on how she felt about him. All she knew was that if she was going to have sex with this man, it would be the right way. They would have to date first. She wasn't just gonna sleep around this time. He was different. 

She wanted to impress him, to make him smile and laugh, to take him out to dinner and hold hands on their way home, to kiss at her doorstep. She wanted all of that before any of this.

His hands dropped from her sides and she crawled away from him, grabbing her blanket and cradling herself in it. "Listen, Y/N, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I know, it's not your fault. Don't worry about it."

It was quiet. Just the sounds of both their breaths filling the air and the crickets chirping in the darkness outside. She shifted in her blanket to rest her head on the wall, leaning against it with her shoulder. He remained on his back, staring up at the empty ceiling tiles. 

It was now so terribly awkward. Thanks, Y/N.

Finally, he broke the silence. "You, uh, don't snore all that much. I was just teasing you."

"Thanks," she exhaled. "You're not as ugly as I said."

"I know."

Wow, Kakashi. So modest.

Her words fell right into place as she spoke, emotions slipping out with each breath. She looked at his profile in the dark, the way his bedhead stood on end, his nose pointed upward and his lips sat calmly, the curve of his chin under the edge of his mask, the way his eyes just sat there unmoving and gentle, brows soft above the eye. She took in all of him as she confessed, "I just don't want it to be like this. I don't want to fall for you this way."

"I get it."

"I just think that you and I could be something different. You're not like the other guys to me, at least, I don't think of you that way," she took a deep breath. He still stared deep in the ceiling, and somehow it made her comfortable enough to confess everything she'd been feeling. It was as if he could just lay there and listen without words forever. "I don't want you to just fuck me before we really...well I don't know, we've never even been on a date. I...I think I'm ready to fall in love with you."

"Then let's do it."

She peered over at him, lips agape with surprise. She hadn't expected much at all, but certainly not that. "What?"

"When we get back to the village, I'll take you on a date, more if things go well. We can take it as slow as you want," he told her, turning to lay on his side, facing her. He watched as she cuddled further into the comforter, only a peek of her face in his view. She was actually kinda cute through all those worn and torn layers. "I don't think I can let you go this time."

"Really?"

"Anything for you."

She ducked her head down to stare at the hardwood beneath her feet. She was overwhelmed by how nice he was being. Normally, it didn't go like this. Things normally got sexual so quick there wasn't even a chance for these sorts of conversations. It was just different with Kakashi. She could say no to him and expect better, because she knew he could deliver. "No one has ever treated me like this before."

He smiled. "Well, it's about time someone did."

"Can you hold me?"

"Come on." He lifted his arm up with the covers attached so she could crawl over and burrow herself next him, tucked right against his side. He rested his arm around her shoulders and held her close to his chest. Things were looking good for the both of them. Better than they had in a long time.

He wished this kind of thing could last forever. The beating of her heart, the laughter in her voice, the shine in her eyes. He just wished he could have bottled it all up and held it close to him for the rest of his life. 

But he waited too long, and the opportunity slipped from his grasp.

______

The pair fought hard. Kakashi was better than her, everyone knew that. The enemy targeted her for that reason. It was clear as day that she was important to Kakashi, and the enemy quickly caught onto that. He was quick to bring the knife to her neck, pressing the woman’s back tightly to his chest. The blade stung her skin, already piercing the flesh from the bit of pressure he applied.

She cried out, feeling a trail of blood begin running down her neck. Her nails clawed at his arm, desperate to get him to release her from his clutches, but he persisted. One hand held onto her chin tightly, keeping her face from thrashing, and the other continued to apply more and more pressure into the blade. 

For the first time in a long time, she found herself feeling unrestricted fear. She was scared. Scared for her life. She’d never been in this situation before, feeling so completely and utterly helpless like a deer caught in the headlights. Kakashi was right there, she should have known everything was going to be okay. After all, she had the village’s strongest veteran on her side.

It wasn’t the pain that caused the tears to bubble up in the corners of her eyes, no, it was Kakashi. The way his eyes darted over to the them, and she could feel his heart beginning to race, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end, and the fear creeping up into his heart. He never wore his heart on his sleeve. He was so closed off, sometimes she could only get a wisp of emotion from him, especially the ones that showed such vulnerability. 

Now it all seemed to come tumbling out like a landslide. She was drowning in fear, his and her own. 

“Let her go,” he called out, practically pleading with the man across from him, but it was in vain. 

“Like I’d listen to some filthy leaf shinobi,” the spy replied angrily. He felt so hot, burning up with so much anger she wanted to throw up. What had they done to upset him this badly? Her jaw was starting to ache from being held so tightly, and she swore she could taste blood running down her throat. This was bad. This was so terribly, miserably bad. 

Kakashi stood there, his hands hovering at his sides, unknowing of what to do. She was already bleeding out all over the collar of her shirt. If he made a single move, the man could easily finish the job with one fatal swipe. The copy nin felt cornered. Hopeless. What was there left to do? He’d let the love of his life fall in the hands of some petty criminal. 

Come on, think of something. Anything. Just think of something.

“What? You upset I’ve got your little girlfriend here?”

God, he was so desperate. The man taunting him didn’t help at all. He just felt himself spiralling deeper into hopelessness. He bargained, “Please, just let her go. I’ll give you whatever you want.” 

It wouldn’t work though. This man was set in his ways, and there was no changing that. He came into this fight knowing exactly what he wanted to do. And he was going to finish the job. 

“This is for what you shinobi have done to my people,” he sneered before she felt the knife dip further into her neck, sliding painfully across her throat. He dropped her head from his grasp, and as soon as he had, her body crumbled down to the ground. She collapsed in a bleeding heap on the dirt. 

The criminal quickly ran into the forest behind them, getting lost among the trees and the bushes within seconds. None of that mattered though. Kakashi could only run over to her limp body lying there on the ground, sputtering and coughing on thick blood filling her throat and lungs. Her cheeks and lips painted red now from spitting so much up. He fell to his knees beside her body, and for the first time in a long time, he felt a tear drip down his face.

She cried, hot tears running down her cheeks into the dirt on either side of her head. She cried for her pathetic self, having been attacked and injured in this way. She cried for Kakashi, feeling the pain and sadness, the panic, radiating off his form. She took in every emotion he was feeling, wanting to savor being with him for as long as she had, to fully take him in one last time. 

“Y/N, it’s gonna be okay,” he whispered, his hands running over her hair and cheek, smearing blood on her skin and his fingers. “We’ll bring you back to the village. The Hokage can fix you.” His words were so soft into the air, like if he spoke any louder he would hurt her.

They both knew that none of what he was saying was true. She was as good as dead.

She lifted her hand weakly to sit on his other hand. “I…” The woman took a labored breath.. “Love you, Kashi.”

“No, no, no. Don’t say that,” he hushed her, feeling his heart grow heavier in his chest with every second that passed, every look at her bloody neck and face, her laboring chest as she took hopeless breaths. He was falling apart in this moment, desperate for fate to change, for her to magically be better. He choked, “You can’t die, Y/N.”

“It’s okay.” Her words were slurred and hard to hear, liquid bubbling up in her throat to the point she was almost incomprehensible. “I love you,” she confessed once again. She wanted those to be her last ever words to him, the words he would remember for the rest of his life. To know someone out there loved him more than anything else.

He had to know that he was her everything. He was the best thing that ever happened to her, and she was going to miss him so terribly wherever her soul went after this. She just wished there was more time to tell him everything she felt. Yet, time was passing faster than she thought, and all those words felt impossible.

“I love you, too. You have to live for me. Just keep breathing, it's going to be okay.”

“It...hurts.”

More misery erupted his chest, and he found himself wanting to scream. Tears dripped steadily down both his cheeks now as he watched this woman die in front of him, one of the only people he truly needed in his life. “I know, baby, I know. I’m sorry I let this happen to you.”

She nodded faintly, her eyes beginning to close. He was starting to panic. Was this his last moment to say goodbye? Their time together was so short, how was this fair? He’d already lost everyone he ever cared about, and now this? He felt like the gods were laughing down at him and his misfortune. 

“You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t know how I’ll do this without you.”

She didn’t respond, but she was still breathing. 

“Y/N, please.”

And he watched as her chest fell still and her labored breaths were silent on his ears. He found himself gathering her form up against his chest, her head cradled in the crook of his neck, just sobbing into her hair, weeping for a long lasting love gone in an instant. 

 He carried her body home that day himself. Something he never anticipated happening, but should have prepared for. He always thought he was going to watch as someone else carried her home to him, death long gone before he had the chance to see. He never thought it would be right in front of him. He thought he could protect her, save her from the clutches of fate. He was so wrong.

Kakashi was alone once again.

[animedaddymilkers]

Kinkmas 2020: Day Eight

Prompt: Breeding w/ Jiraiya

Genre: Smut/18+ || Tags: Breeding, Creampie, Dirty Talk, Slight Impregnation, Sex Worker, Mutual Pining, Oral, Fingering || Characters: Jiraiya, Female Reader || read it on ao3 here

Three hours, three agonizing hours until your favorite client checked in. Three hours filled with you anxiously doing your makeup and little odds and ends to make sure your appearance was as enticing as possible. It wasn't usually like you to go all out for customers, but this particular one was special. Not to mention he was also your highest paying one. Andddd you may have caught some stupid, school-girl crush for him. Though you wouldn't dare say anything to his face, or to anyone for that matter. It wasn't worth risking your best client. Being a sex worker was hard enough as it was.

Jiraiya was a different breed of man, probably a different breed of human if you were being totally honest. He was so suave and smooth, yet put on a sleazy front, driving away most of the civilian women. You had your suspicions that he did that on purpose, but it wasn't your place to pry. He definitely attracted all the women who worked in similar professions as you, that was for sure. Even though he was known to be a cheapskate, drunk, and always tried to get more than he paid for, he wasn't like that with you. You heard once he found a favorite he was the exact opposite of his reputation and now you were living through just that.

The white-haired man appeared in the doorway of your designated hotel room, a bright smile on his face. This time the room had to be the presidential suite, it was comparable to a whole ass apartment for Kami's sake. After hearing the hotel door open you scurried out of the ridiculously large bathroom, your heels clicking along the marble floor to greet your client. His roaring laugh filled the room as he watched your delicate appearance not-so-delicately enter the room.

"Well, look at you! Shit, darling, you look amazing today. You're going to kill an old man like me," his cherry tone made you smile and you stopped in front of him.

"Oh please, you're harder to kill than that! So, what were you thinking today?" Your hands trailed up his still clothed chest, taking in the feel of the muscles you knew laid underneath.

Jiraiya's hands went to your waist, thumbs running over the lingerie you donned," Always so straight to the point, aren't you? Always loved that about ya. Anyways, thought maybe today we could just do something… soft? Just got back from a rough mission and could use some soft lovin'."

"Oh, yeah definitely! I can be whatever you need, handsome," you leaned up and kissed his cheek, using the other hand to caress the opposite cheek.

If he wanted soft, soft was what he was going to get. He knew it was dangerous to request sexual favors that included gentle actions from you. He knew your soft touches would fan the ache in his heart, but he couldn't help it. Maybe somewhere inside of him he just wanted an excuse to hold you close and "accidentally" let some sweet nothings be whispered in your ear. Your lips came together much slower than they usually do, gently pressing together as your eyes closed. His large hands rubbed your hips, fingers kneading into your soft flesh as he easily lifted you from the floor. As if from muscle memory alone, your legs wrapped around his waist as much as they could, happily clinging onto his built figure. The oversized king bed came too soon, your back meeting the plush sheets as Jiraiya's kisses began to trail down your jaw. His lips were warm and harsh against your skin but far from unwelcome. You knew what was coming but you still gasped quietly the first time he sucked the skin of your neck into his mouth.

"You drive me wild," his voice was low and rumbled against your throat, sending a shiver down your spine.

His hands wandered from your hips to your chest, playing with your boobs through the thin bra you wore. One of Jiraiya's favorite things was to leave love marks on you, all over you to be exact. Usually, you wouldn't allow it, marking up the merchandise and all. But for him, it was worth it. Not only did he pay more than enough to mark you, but you always felt almost proud to wear his hickeys on your neck and body after a session with him. It definitely helped you pretend you were truly his until they faded that is. Then you'd just have to wait until Jiraiya's name showed up on your booking schedule again. Though unbeknownst to you, your customer felt quite the same about the love marks. He knew very well he was lucky you allowed him to leave them and he'd be lying if he said he didn't go into the village the next day just to get a glimpse of you proudly displaying what he left you.

You tried not to rush things, going at whatever pace he set for the session, but it was hard not to get slightly greedy with such a mountain of man within your grasp. Thankfully, your partner picked up on your gathering impatience and began to slowly unwrap you from the lingerie you had on. The action wasn't empty of affection, quite the opposite. Each time he revealed more skin, his fingers lingered, his touch warm and gentle against you. Once you were naked it was more obvious how overdressed he was. So, you set about fixing that fact. His layers were peeled off one by one until he was left in his mesh shirt and underwear. This part, you loved to lay back and watch as he slowly stripped the rest, his shirt pulling up and revealing more of his abs and toned chest. Ugh, Kami, he was so hot for an older man. So many of your clients were tolerable at best, but Jiraiya? Quite literally the definition of 'you'd let him hit it for free'. But again, you had rent to pay.

Once you were both naked came the part where you two adored the other's body, not a usual part of your rendezvous but he wanted softness today. His rough fingers played with your nipples, shit-eating grin spreading across his face as you moaned and whined when he tugged them. Meanwhile, your hands roamed over every inch of him that you could reach, which currently only entailed his shoulders, head, and top of his chest. But that was enough for you to reach down and play with his nipples in return. The way his face reddened with blush almost made you giggle, but he twisted yours teasingly to get back at you. Jiraiya could seriously tease you for hours on end if it were any other day than today. Today, he had other plans, he needed emotional sex but he also needed it sooner rather than later.

His fingers were tracing along your slit, gathering up some of your wetness to spread it around more. He lazily rubbed at your clit as he kissed you, teeth nipping at your lips just lightly enough to make it hurt but not draw blood. It was a bit dizzying to have a man above you who could so easily kill you with minimal effort, yet each of his movements was filled with nothing but adoration. Part of you hated how tender he was with you every session and the other part that was head over heels in love begged him to continue. Your hips ground down against him, a whine falling out of your mouth before you could even help it. He exhaled a quiet laugh at your desperate reaction and did it again, only slightly harder this time. Teasing was a given when it came to Jiraiya unless he was really drunk. But hell, this time you were almost sure he was completely sober. It really must have been a rough mission if he didn't stop at the bar first. The thought made you want to stop him and give him all the extra attention in the world. The only thing stopping you was your business professional side. It'd just be too much, too risky to make a move like that. You'd be able to pamper him in due time and then it wouldn't seem out of place.

In the meantime, Jiraiya finally slid a thick finger inside of you, probing your insides like he was trying to test something out. His tongue stuck out slightly, caught between his teeth with a determined look on his face. If there wasn't a finger curling inside of your pussy you would have laughed at the expression. He pumped it in and out slowly, gently prodding for your g-spot. As he explored your insides he slipped another finger in, taking care to slowly stretch you out for him. He leaned his head down and let his tongue join in on the party, pressing it flat against your clit. Your head fell back against the bed as your fingers tangled into his expanse of lush, white hair, tugging gently to try and get more out of his mouth. He grinned against your thigh, a third, thick finger pushing into you. The stretch was now slightly uncomfortable, but you both slightly knew you had to endure it, or else the main event wasn't going to be as enjoyable. And Jiraiya always wanted you to enjoy it. Truly, he was the best client you ever had and it wasn't fair that this was just no strings attached business.

His tongue circled your clit before his teeth grazed your bundle of nerves, sending a shiver down your spine. Then he started a session routine, spelling out his name against your clit with his tongue. Again, you wish you could laugh during the cheesy action but it felt too damn good. The low rumble of his voice against you had your hips grinding down against his fingers. His fingers which still thrust in and out of you, changing positions and angles every now and then, intent on finding your g-spot. When his fingers finally made you gasp, he grinned devilishly and your grip tightened in his hair, knowing you were in for a ride now. Once they zeroed in on their target his fingers barely changed angles, repeatedly hitting your sweet spot. His mouth wrapped around your clit, sucking gently as his other hand slid down to your other hole. At first, he just teased, swirling his pointer finger around the puckered hole before using some of your pussy juice to slowly push in. The pressure from the extra finger had you gasping out his name, the assault on your other private parts far from ending. Your legs defied your intent to hold out longer and began to shake, the warm spasm in your lower stomach fast approaching.

"Fuck! Oh Kami, Jiraiya! Fuck I'm cumming!" cuss words continued to fall from your lips between moans as you came on his face.

Your juices properly soaked his stubble-covered jaw, more proof he didn't even bother going home before seeing you. As your legs spasmed he kept sucking your clit, welcoming the feeling of your plush thighs wrapping tightly around his head. A good three minutes later he finally let you have some reprieve, removing his face and hands from his body. Your eyes met his gleaming ones as he brought one hand to his mouth, sucking his fingers off. The skilled tongue that made you fall apart, swirled around his fingers, intent not to waste a single drop of your sweet juice. He had little to no reservations when it came to sex, happily sliding his finger from your other hole into his mouth, sucking it off just as he did the others. Next time you just might have to ask him to use his mouth on your ass… but for now, it was your turn to get your mouth busy.

Jiraiya had other thoughts, leaning up to kiss you again and slowly grind his hips against yours. He kissed you for a while, savoring the taste of your mouth, and went to line himself up at your entrance before you stopped him. Concerned, he looked up at you and was about to ask if something was wrong before you gently pushed to flip him over. Now with a look of understanding he chuckled softly and laid back against the pillows, arms tucked behind his head. Hair sprawled around him and arms flexed he looked like a true Adonis before you, even including the brutal scar on his chest. If anything, the scar just made him more god-like. It was a testament to what he did for a living, how self-sacrificing he was. There was only one thing that could make the view better: a lower perspective.

Your hands rubbed against his skin, just taking in the feel of it. The feel of his scars, the feel of the tensing muscles beneath, the intoxicating feel of his pulse beating beneath your fingers. You grinned as you brushed your fingertips along his pelvis, savoring in the shiver he always gave you. His hips were so sensitive it was almost cute. You leaned forward and kissed a trail down his abs, leaving little love bites along the way. Time didn't mean anything right now, so you took as long as you wanted, paying extra attention to leave darker marks along his hips and purposely avoiding where he wanted your touch most. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, trying not to think too hard about the sweet ways you touched him. Oftentimes, he had to remind himself that these affections from you were bought, if he hadn't bought this time with you, you wouldn't be here. The kisses and marks you left all over his body were just for sexy times. The gentle way you admired his body was just to keep him coming back, to keep him thinking you cared for him on a personal level. Damn, his thoughts got carried away again. He couldn't help but think of what waking up next to you would be like, you smiling-

His eyes flew open and he groaned as you licked up his cock. The grin you had on your face made him groan again, damn your sinful actions. Your lips wrapped around him and he locked eyes with yours as you slowly sank your mouth down his length. The gleam in your eyes drove him wild, watching as you took him inch by inch, careful not to gag. That is, until he gave you a cocky little thrust of his hips. You gagged and choked at the unanticipated movement, taking your mouth off of him, your hand relaxing it.

"You bastard! You ruined my rhythm!"

Jiraiya chuckled before grinning, "Oh but you sound so cute gagging on my cock, darling!"

His happy go lucky tone laced his words, making you roll your eyes as you pumped him. Taking a deep breath you wrapped your mouth around him again, determined to make it all the way down him this time. You knew he'd thrust again, but now you were expecting it and you were able to relax your throat more, grinning around his cock when you didn't gag. Jiraiya only grinned, proud that you caught onto his little game and resorted to letting you have the reins again. One of his large hands reached down, gathering your hair from out of your face to help you and so he could see better. Your head finally met the coarse white curls at the base of his cock and you held yourself there for a few moments. You swallowed a couple of times just to hear the man beneath you moan before you slowly began to slide back up, swirling your tongue around his tip. Kami, his face looked so good with the blush dusting his cheeks and chest. You'd give him all his money back just to have this view all to yourself. Still, you had the power to make him fall apart even more and you had every intention to do just that.

Again, your mouth surrounded him and you went down his length quicker this time, although you didn't go down all the way. Your rhythm took a few tries to perfect but you finally found it. Hollowing out your cheeks a bit you bobbed your head on his cock, twisting slightly as you went up and down. For a bit of cock you didn't force your mouth to go down on, your hand picked up the slack, rubbing around it while your mouth worked. Jiraiya's other hand came down to join his first in your hair and when your eyes met his he groaned. You looked so good when you were desperate to please him. He was comfortable enough with you now that he didn't even think of holding back all of his noises, even if they were the high pitched whines he let out when you played with his balls. Or the gasps when you gave him a taste of his own medicine and pushed a finger into his asshole. His hips twitched at the sudden pressure and he almost comically began to fall apart beneath you.

He panted and moaned, thighs tensing when you pushed another finger into him, "Damn it, fuck, (Y/N)... Darling please…"

You moaned around his cock before popping his cock out of your mouth, pumping it with your hand, "Mmm, what is it dear?"

His face was beet red and his chest near heaving, "Don't wanna cum like this…"

"Ah, that's right, I forgot geezers like you can only go so long." you grinned at him and let his cock free.

If it had been any other client, you wouldn't dare speak to them like that, but for Jiraiya, it only fired him up more. He smirked back at you and easily leaned down, lifting your body from between his legs. Before you could comprehend you were on all fours, ass properly displayed for the man behind you. His hands spread across your rear and massaged your ass before spreading your cheeks. The tip of his cock pressed at your entrance and you whined, trying to push yourself back onto him. He laughed at your desperation but still obliged, pushing into you slowly. Kami, he filled you so well, dragging along your walls perfectly. He didn't stop until his hips met yours, pushing his pelvis into your ass, staying there for a long moment. With a grin, he ground his hips against yours before pulling out almost all the way and then slamming back in.

It made you gasp and grab at the sheets for balance, the pace was both torture and pleasure. His hands gripped your hips, no doubt going to leave bruises as he continued fucking you. After a few minutes, he finally sped up, his cock hitting against your deepest parts. He leaned over your back and pressed kisses into your shoulders before trailing up your neck. His hot breath against your skin was enough to drive you wild and mixed with his groans you felt tingles fire through your body from your ears straight to your pussy. Your whines egged him on and he once again sped up, fucking into you with vigor now. The lewd sounds of your skin slapping together was like music and only sounded better accompanied by the noises you both were making. One of his hands slid from your hip and a thick finger rubbed at your clit, the extra stimulation making you groan and bury your face deeper into the blanket beneath you. You could feel your thighs shake, threatening to give out as your pussy clenched around his cock. Your cum properly wet his cock more and a bit of his thighs too, but that wasn't going to stop him.

Jiraiya fucked you through your orgasm, slowing as you came down before he roughly flipped you over onto your back, taking in your post-orgasm face, "You look so gorgeous like this darling. I could stare at you for hours."

His voice was deep and you sighed softly at his words, legs opening wide so he could slide back inside of you. Gently, he took your legs and pushed your knees towards your chest, leaving some room so he could lean down between them and kiss you. The position let his cock slide in deeper and you moaned feeling him hit your cervix. "Kami, Jiraiya, just fuck me already, I want your cum!"

He smirked and thrust roughly, making the breath catch in your throat, "You want my cum, pretty girl? You want me to fuck my baby into you?"

The words weren't supposed to come out. Not like that. But he always was a sucker for dirty talk so he wasn't really surprised with himself. You, on the other hand, were slightly shocked. Or at least you would have been if you weren't so horny. His words made you moan at the thought and you knew you wouldn't be satisfied until you felt his cum inside of you now. He did prefer to go in raw, but every time before this he had no qualms about pulling out. Briefly, you wondered what changed and if maybe it was all talk, but regardless, you couldn't help but lose all inhibitions at the thought of feeling his cum inside of you.

"Yes! Fuck your baby into me! Fill me up, Jiraiya, I want everyone to know what you've done to me!"

He growled and pushed your legs closer to your body as he nearly laid down on top of you. The heaviness of him added an extra warmth of protection, bringing you two closer physically and a bit emotionally as well. Now, you were so close you could lean up and kiss him, his hot breath on your lips, his intoxicating smell filling your nose while his hips quickly thrust in and out of you. Cuss words and praises fell from his lips, muffled by your skin as he fucked you harder, barely holding back at all. It was appropriate that he had you positioned in the mating press, adding to the feeling of the moment. You let yourself get absorbed in the fantasy, pretending he was saying those words under different circumstances, that he really meant what he said.

"Fuck I'm so close," he growled and his arms wrapped around your back, holding you closer, "You ready for it, darling? Let me hear you. C'mon."

As if you really needed any more convincing, you let it out, legs once again starting to shake as they wrapped around him, "Please, please, give me your cum. Oh, Kami~"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Being forced to be mine, huh? You want to be my little breeding slut?"

"Yes, yes yes! Make me yours!" Your high pitched whines sent him into a frenzy and he roughly began to rub your clit again.

You were already over sensitive so when you felt him bury himself to the hilt inside of you, you let yourself go. He groaned your name as you could feel his hot cum fill you up, your pussy spasming around him. Part of you couldn't believe he actually just came inside, though the majority of your lust clouded brain was absolutely satisfied that he did. You panted hard and was thankful as he helped stretch your cramping legs. He himself was breathing hard in the crook of your neck. Your arms wrapping around his neck as you played with his hair before he began to slowly pull away. His eyes locked with yours as he sat back on his feet, soft cock slipping out of you. When he did his eyes wandered down, watching as his cum slowly dripped out of your hole. But he gathered the drips onto his fingers and pushed it back into you.

"You're going to look so cute, big and round with my baby."

The words shook you from the bliss and you looked up at the white-haired man. The full possible repercussions of your actions crashed down onto you. Before you could voice any concerns, Jiraiya sighed and leaned down, putting his head in the crook of your neck again before filling the quiet of the room.

"I shouldn't have done that."

"I wanted it too."

"Did you really? Or just because I pay you to want it." his voice was gravelly and almost laced with guilt.

You had to say, you've seen Jiraiya through many post-orgasm moods, but this one full of something akin to regret was new, "No. I really wanted it. And… If it happens, then I'll happily welcome it."

He didn't lift his head, he didn't think he could even if he wanted to. Instead, he only held you tighter and finally let himself embrace his feelings for you, "I love you. I don't care about your line of work. I don't care how much I have to pay. Just…let me see you more?"

The breath you didn't know you were holding was exhaled and you looked down at him, "Jiraiya…"

"You don't have to like me back. I'd understand. I just couldn't keep it to myself any longer. (Y/N), you're the only thing keeping me returning to this village."

He looked almost scared as he confessed his feelings, his hands stroking over your skin, eyes avoiding yours, "Jiraiya, I love you too…"

Quickly his eyes snapped up to finally meet yours, his heart felt like it skipped a beat. It took him a minute to fully comprehend your words before he pressed his lips to yours again. The rest of the day was spent together, telling the other all the things you'd been holding back for who knows how long. Not to mention a few more rounds in the bed. Never in a million years would you have guessed a shared breeding kink would finally be the thing that brought you to confess your love for each other.

hope you enjoyed! remember likes & reblogs help me reach more people! :D

[momowho34]

Time for another naruto au post that so long and complicated it might aswell be a fic in and of itself. Why am I like this :,) Naruto au where Itachi runs away from the village with Sasuke in tow and doesn’t leave him behind. Also Itachi is a little older then a teenager because it makes more sense. Buckle up this is a long one.

Itachi refuses to kill his family and runs to warn them but when he gets there everybody’s dead except for Sasuke, (who witnessed the whole thiNG OOPSY-) so he takes him and runs for their lives.

Itachi joins the akatsuki but uhhhhh now there’s a four year old tagging along and Itachi’s too scary for anybody to mention it.

Imagine the fluff and angst potential with the akatsuki oooooof there’s so much omg

At first they all think it’s super annoying but within like two days they would all gladly die for this kid. Seriously they were pretty sure their hearts were made of stone at this point but apparently not.

Kisame is surprisingly really good with kids, partly because he appears fairly calm on the outside without being too standoffish so Sasuke likes him best. Also Kisame could happily play peek-a-boo for the rest of his life he likes the small things

Kakazu is awful with kids but sasuke likes him anyway and he hates it (not really) Hidan.... really doesn’t know what to do. He’s never cared about another person in his life, okay? He kind of wants to kill the small child but he knows Itachi would steal his fucking knee caps and bury him at the bottom of the ocean so he doesn’t even mention it ever

Sasori is the mom when Itachi isn’t around. They would all feed him candy until he fucking died if Sasori didn’t stop that. Sasori is also the one to go “oh my GOD Deidara you can’t dare him to climb that mountain he could fall and hit his head no I don’t care about that deidaRA HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD ITACHI IS GOING TO KILL YOU WHEN HE GETS HOME MARK MY WORDS—“

Tobi likes to blame all of his mistakes on Sasuke as a joke. Also they all teach Sasuke bits of their fighting styles so he becomes even more formidable and all of them are kind of freaked out by how quickly he masters their techniques

When he’s too young to tag along on missions he has to stay with Konan and Pain. He really values Konan because she’s really the only one of them who treats him like a person instead of a stupid child that needs protection.

“He costs too much,” Kakazu says. “He shouldn’t be here, what about how much it costs for him to stay with us” all while consistently finding room in the budget to get the kid anything and everything even though he’s fairly low maintenance to take care of

When Itachi arrives, everybody tries to disregard the rumors paired with Sasuke being there. Because of Itachi’s overall demeanor and Sasuke’s refusal to talk about it, they assume that he killed his family but didn’t kill his little brother for some reason

...And then Sasuke starts having nightmares. Like loud, screaming and crying in the middle of the night nightmares. Every time it happens, Itachi wakes up, calm and collected, and holds him until he falls asleep again. They all start having doubts about Itachi really killing his family.

Itachi doesn’t really hold a grudge against Konoha, but he didn’t see the whole family die like Sasuke did. Sasuke wants revenge, and he’s dead set on it.

Okay yeah but what abt the actual plot and stuff??? Don’t worry I’m there.

So a while later after that during Naruto’s three year journey (which he still takes with Jiraiya because he needs training to fight Orochimaru who is still a big threat btw) he meets this weird black haired kid staying at the same hotel he is.

Turns out they’ve both got caretakers who are absent (Jiraiya’s at a brothel somewhere and Kisame and Itachi are off killing some guy) which sucks so they bond over that and compare abilities and beat the shit out of eachother a little and develop a mini rival complex all of that but then

“Wow you’re so cool! You fight just like a ninja! You should come back with me!” Naruto laughs one day. Sasuke asks “Back to where?” And Naruto’s like “back to the leaf village of course! I’m a leaf village ninja, I’m out here training with my sensei! I forgot that I left my headband in the room, I can show it to you.” But Sasuke just gets really pale and runs off and Naruto doesn’t see him for the rest of the trip.

He thought he’d never see him again but then Sasuke gets separated from the Akatsuki members reeeaaaallly far away from their base and Konoha. As he’s trying to figure out what to do, a certain ninja crew happens to be in town. Naruto is like “omfg I know this kid!!!!!!!! Hey Sasuke!!!!! Hey Sasukeeeee!!!!!”

Sasuke is like o-o but then he starts to consider his options. If anybody figures out about his sharingan, he’s straight up fucked. His eyes are gone, he probably gets murdered. Naruto is like “what r u doing here????” And sasuke spins a fairly convincing story

He’s like “oh yeah and I know my way around this place so I can help you out could I maybe seek asylum in your village maybe??? I could be helpful” just so he can head in the general direction of Konoha and hopefully get closer to his base along the way.

So Kakashi begrudgingly agrees and Sasuke tries not to burn alive because he’s in the general proximity of leaf soldiers that he fucking hates and he will not grow attached to any of them at all no siree, not at all, no way!

Sasuke begins to grow close to them, of course. Sai and Sasuke do goth shenanigans and he fights with Naruto and tries to get Sakura to leave him alone (what is up with her why is she being so weird?)

Oh bonus angst: Tobi used to talk in his sleep sometimes, and at some point Sasuke drops “those who break the rules are scum, but those who leave their friends behind are worse then scum” casually and Kakashi almost has a full blown panic attack.

This is when he first realizes something is seriously up with this kid; and his first name sounds... familiar. His suspicions are just suspicions until they run into Orochimaru. Now Orochimaru could just out Sasuke as akatsuki, instead he plays with his feelings a little bit. He keeps saying things like “how does it feel to fight on the same side as your enemies for once?” And “have you forgotten already?” They defeat him without Sasuke revealing his sharingan but the jig is up in Kakashi’s mind.

Kakashi doesn’t quite connect the dots; but he’s almost there. Whoever this kid is, they’re coming back to the village for sure. It’s the safest thing to do. Meanwhile the Akatsuki are freaking out. Itachi is unhinged and almost grieving, they have no idea where Sasuke could be. The team is out in full force; including Tobi

And you know, Obito doesn’t care. He shouldn’t care, nothing matters in this false reality. It just doesn’t. Tobi might have given a shit about Sasuke, but Tobi isn’t real. He’s just a front, Tobi doesn’t exist. So why is he looking so hard for this stupid kid that he shouldn’t give a shit about? Obito convinces himself it’s just a front, it’s just part of Tobi’s act, but it’s not. What’s happening to him? Why is starting to feel things now, so deep into the plan?

Annnnnndddd that’s as far as I got with it lmao. That’s still pretty fucking far tho

[wing-ed-thing]

Jiraiya x Short!Reader Relationship Headcanons

@theangelmaker​ This got a little real. Ofc I made light and fluffy some brand of angsty. Maybe one day I’ll write some light Jiraiya content

💕Jiraiya is 6′2 almost 6′3. I knew he was töll but I didn’t know he was that TÖLL. Interesting.

💕Yeah, Jiraiya lives for some bant

💕Bant: Banter

💕Now, Jiraiya is by no means old. 50s is hardly old. But nonetheless he’s seen a lot of shit

💕He tries very hard to cope using vices and humor. He often puts on a goofy persona around others and he doesn’t always execute it in the way, say, Might Guy does

💕Jiraiya is picking on your height but it actually has a function for the both of you

💕Likely, it’s a recurring thing. It establishes a rather harmless connection but it’s also light enough of a topic to lighten the mood

💕The shinobi world is dark, let’s not forget that

💕You’re going into a mission and you’re not sure if you’re going to make it out alive. Jiraiya is team leader back in the old days and he says something reassuring before calling you “short-stuff”

💕That’s not a joke for a joke’s sake. Sure, it’s light hearted and breaks through the tension, but it’s all about 

💕C O N N E C T I O N

💕Jiraiya has broken through acquaintanceship with a little goofiness and a dumb joke, but it reminds you that he’s there, that you have someone close to you in a time of anxiety

💕That’s his brand of reassurance. It’s subtle, but isn’t all shinobi stuff?

💕He’s assuring you in a matter of words that he’s going to take care of you

💕Doesn’t ”We’re gonna be right and right out, m’kay, Pip Squeak?” sound a lot more reassuring than “Quick mission, in and out.”?

💕He does it often enough to ingrain in your head, but not too often to get really annoying

💕Nicknames and inside jokes are a good way to jumpstart relationships. Jiraiya chose an innocent and obvious trait. At his age it just comes off as dad humor, but it’s actually really sneaky

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed and otherwise supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

[captnjacksparrow]

So does Kishi officially hate NH and SS? Because I can't help but think like that when I see them in Boruto. Like no way he wants them to be seen as happy or content. Also, it seems like he still hates Sakura because just just look at her, she hasn't really changed. Her dynamic with Sasuke hasn't really changed. She gives chase, Sasuke ignores. Except Sasuke looks more depressed.

Hey, after fifteen years of us chasing after the story and characters we invested in so much, at least give us some indication that they are least happy after sooo many sacrifices, like they deserve that happiness.

But no, if anything, they seem totally miserable. What made Kishi do that? Yes, he can't show them ooc, but Sasuke marrying Sakura is already ooc. Naruto being a bad father is already ooc. Like why go to the extent of showing Sasuke trying not to touch Sakura and pointedly showing that they never kissed? That's just like a determined effort on Kishi's part to show that their marriage is not working. Naruto works way more than any of his predecessors and sleeps in the office or couch so as not to disturb Hinata, when Hinata is specifically designed to accommodate anything that Naruto might require.

Don't get me wrong, I think Boruto is trash. But I am still in interested in SNS in Boruto because that's still canon. Just makes me wonder how Kishi will finally conclude SNS, because their bond still shows clearly in Boruto. Do you think he will kill them any time soon?

Good ask, Anon☺️☺️❤️❤️

Before answering this, I am going to tell you that I don’t watch Boruto. But I know what happened so far, vaguely. Like, Gaiden arc, Karma seal, Kawaki adoption, Kurama’s death, loss of Rinnegan, Time travel arc. Anyways, I might have missed many interactions between Sasuke & Sakura in the filler episodes or other canonical episodes. I would be happy If you send me an episode list or timestamps in where they interact, so that it saves my time instead of me, watching that entire shit show. 

So does Kishi officially hate NH and SS?

In this post, I dissected SS from a non-SNS perspective. It seems Kishi went all out of his way to make their interactions too insincere, blunt and toxic. I mean Sasuke’s absolute lack of interest in her was very evident even until chapter 693. That is right before, their final VoTE fight. And even after Sakura comes to heal their injuries, he just said ‘Ummmm..... I guess Sorry’... 

Kishi could have made Sasuke say some corny shit to Sakura like how he felt bad inside for hurting her, how he missed her, wiping her tears or whatever (Puke!!!! 🤮🤮🤮). Because in the previous chapter, Sasuke basically confessed to Naruto internally about how he felt about Naruto when he was a child. Kishi could have done the same for Sakura in just 4, 5 panels. But anyways, my point is, Kishi’s moment to salvage that ship is chapter 699. 

But he didn’t.

Did Kishi tried to build their bond after marriage?

He definitely could’ve. But he didn’t. 

This shows his clear distaste in SS.

As for NH, Kishi is indifferent. He neither hates them nor loves them. Kishi created Hinata as a pairing fodder and she still is. 

Also, it seems like he still hates Sakura because just just look at her, she hasn't really changed. Her dynamic with Sasuke hasn't really changed. She gives chase, Sasuke ignores. Except Sasuke looks more depressed.

Hmmm, I don’t know whether Sasuke hates her, anon. Again, maybe I’ve missed those parts. But when he looks at her, it’s always filled with regrets and an urge to avoid her (like Itachi avoided Sasuke, but for totally sad and genuine reasons). 

But this again begs the question, ‘Why feeling regret or hesitant even after 12 years?’. 

Believe me anon, Love/Bonds/Understanding can happen at anytime of your life. From where I come from, not everyone marries out of love. Arranged marriages are common. But still, many couples make effort and work out their difference, and find love. Kishi could’ve done the same for SS too. 

Is Sasuke that heartless? No.

He was once a boy who bear hugged his brother every time Itachi comes back from the Academy. Itachi’s presence itself made Sasuke so happy. 

Did he become heartless after the massacre? Also no.

Even after the trauma, Sasuke just became aloof and cold. But he always becomes a child who can pout, be silly, becomes animated, bicker around Naruto. So, he can be lovely, but only around the people he choose by himself. 

Still, Sakura is not that person. So, he looks like he is depressed and wants to escape from her at any given chance because of a certain guilt. 

What made Kishi do that? Yes, he can't show them ooc, but Sasuke marrying Sakura is already ooc. Naruto being a bad father is already ooc. Like why go to the extent of showing Sasuke trying not to touch Sakura and pointedly showing that they never kissed? That's just like a determined effort on Kishi's part to show that their marriage is not working.

To answer, this goes way back, anon. 

Kishi is a person who prefers to write love through intense friendship, sensei-student dynamics and brotherhood. He can occasionally write cute and sweet romance but it can only be short like 2 or 3 pages... or a chapter, max. He can’t go on doing it for 70 chapters for romance. Which was evident from Minato & Kushina, Dan & Tsunade, Obito & Rin. 

But the real deal of Naruto manga is the bond between Naruto and Sasuke. The bond between Itachi and Sasuke also played a huge role in this series. And then comes Hashirama and Madara, Jiraiya and Naruto, Kakshi and Obito, Kakashi and Naruto and many more. So, Kishi pretty much gave an ending he wanted for a long time in chapter 699. He successively pulled off a great manga without corny and shitty romance but with just friendship and brotherhood alone. He didn’t give two shits about NH or SS before chapter 700.

Naruto series’ another success lies on it’s characters tragic backstories. I simply loved them all and most of them made me cry. 

Kishi wanted to move on from Naruto.

But then Money played a big part. Naruto series can be milked in a lot of ways. Editors wanted all the characters to become some baby making dolls. So you have to create pairings. Based on the popularity polls, they decided NH and SS.

In my opinion, Sasuke is a goal-oriented person. He is a wanderer who works on his own accords. Ever since he left Konoha when he was 13, that was his path, so you can’t make him stay in one place. At every stage of his life, he had different goals.

At age 8-15, he had one goal. To kill Itachi. Can he have a romance here? Nope.

At age 16, his goal is to destroy Konoha. No chance of romance in that dark path.

At age 17, he wanted to Revolutionize the shinobi system. Since he wanted to be alone for that goal, no possibility of romance.

At age 18, he adopted Naruto’s dream as his own. To make all shinobi cooperate and look out for Kaguya remains. Romance cannot happen here as he was constantly wandering around and he prefers to work alone.

This is how Kishi designed Sasuke’s character throughout.

Now all of a sudden, if you ask Kishi to go OOC by asking him to write corny romance for his favorite character Sasuke just for the sake of making him relevant to Boruto series, what will he do? 

Since Boruto is a series which is a sequel to Naruto, you pretty much know everyone’s backstory. Those 12 year old New Gen kids possibly can’t have tragic stories like Naruto or Sasuke. 

Kishi being a troller, used this opportunity to create a piss poor sob story for Sarada by making Sasuke as an absentee father and an unloving husband.

He created a sad story for Sarada and he gets to shit on SS ship. Two birds, One stone!!!! 

Now, Sasuke being an unloving husband is OOC ? Nope. He was never a marriage material in the first place. So he is perfectly in-character.

Sasuke being an absentee father is OOC? No and Yes. No, because it’s the effect of the cause I mentioned above. Yes, because unlike Naruto, Sasuke once had a father. He can try to reach her out now and often. but he prefers not to do instead he cares more about Boruto. LOL.

Sasuke being not family oriented is OOC? Nope. He is a goal oriented person. His goal is same as Naruto’s dream. He will go to any extent to fulfill it, even at the expense of his family’s happiness. Because that’s what he learnt from Itachi. What Itachi taught him was, even at the expense of his own happiness and Sasuke’s trauma, he preferred Konoha and Shinobi World’s peace. That’s what Sasuke is doing now. 

Naruto works way more than any of his predecessors and sleeps in the office or couch so as not to disturb Hinata, when Hinata is specifically designed to accommodate anything that Naruto might require.

As for Naruto, 

I think it’s very funny. And I guess, I know why.

Just like Sasuke, Naruto is also a goal oriented person. 

Remember, in that Boruto movie, Sasuke knocks Naruto’s door at the midnight?

Imagine if Naruto opened the door. 

Sasuke will be like, ‘Alright mothafucka!!! I wanted to die in the VoTE itself. You wanted me in your dream world. Am working my ass off for your stupid dreams and trying to reach you without even meeting my own family. And yet here you are, sleeping well and sound. Am just gonna Chidori you!!!’ LOL.

I think you get my point. 

If you make Sasuke to be an hardworker, then Naruto must work even hard to fulfill his dream. So you possibly can’t have Naruto playing duet with Himata or whatever trash. 

So kishi pulled his Two birds, One Stone for NH here!!!

In short, Kishi gets to make his New generation shine through this pathetic sob stories and at the same time, kept his favorite characters without going OOC. 

So, it’s a polite way of Kishi showing middlefinger to SS and NH for making him do this. He is saying, ‘Alright folks, you wanted this all along. But this is what you will get!!!’.

Just makes me wonder how Kishi will finally conclude SNS, because their bond still shows clearly in Boruto. Do you think he will kill them any time soon?

I think about this all the time. How will they end?? How will they die??

Now, don’t think I am some sadist for wanting them to die. I am just being practical and honest here. This is a new generation series. Of course, at some point, Naruto and Sasuke has to die for the sake of character development. And I will be happy if they die because I don’t like their miserable portrayal in Boruto at all. 

Naruto series has a pattern when it comes to death portrayal. Meaningful characters (except Neji) always die protecting someone/something they cherish. Jiraiya died for Naruto, Yahiko died for Konan & Nagato, Itachi died for Sasuke & Konoha, Haku died for Zabuza, Obito (younger) died for Kakashi & Rin and so on.

Ever since Naruto became Hokage, his death is pretty much plastered on his head. He will die protecting Konoha just like all the Hokages from First to Fourth who sacrificed their life for Konoha. 

But Sasuke??? 

I am going to say he will die protecting Naruto or the village. But for Naruto mostly. Either way, Sasuke will die first. 

Dying for Naruto, the reasons are crystal clear. He already died protecting Naruto once in the Zabuza arc. He will never hesitate to do it again. Which was evident from the way he told Naruto in the Boruto movie while giving his Susanoo, ‘If they capture the real you, then everything is gone’. Somewhere in Boruto Manga chapter 38 (I don’t remember properly), Sasuke was yelling at Naruto, ‘If you are gone, it’s pretty hopeless’ and was praying ‘Naruto, don’t you die’. 

So it’s pretty much Sasuke saying to Naruto, ‘I’ll protect you, You protect everyone’

But why the village?? Why will Sasuke die for Konoha which caused him so much pain?? I know anti-konoha stans wont like this, but that’s the reality.

It seems many Sasuke fans never paid attention to his character. After hearing the story from all the Hokages, Sasuke said, ‘I will not let Itachi’s life and this village into nothing’. He really meant it. Because for Sasuke, Itachi was more precious. Itachi died saying, ‘I’ll have protected my village as Uchiha Itachi of Konoha once again. I have no more regrets’. Sasuke wanted to respect his brother’s wish finally and that’s why he openly claimed in the battlefield, ‘I am going to protect Konoha and become it’s Hokage’. Sasuke’s another precious person is Naruto. He is the Hokage now. 

Don’t you think Sasuke will die protecting something Itachi and Naruto values so much??

He even claimed it openly in Boruto Manga. ‘I would die anytime for Konoha, as has your dad (Naruto)’

Sasuke even said to Boruto, “I will stop you even if I have to kill you”. And do you think Sasuke is just pouring out some empty words??? Sasuke will not let Boruto to turn into an Otsutsuki monster and destroy the village.

Like I said, Sasuke will go out first. And eventually Naruto will follow him. Or they both die protecting the village together. I don’t see them dying for their wives or children. Because, their relationship with their family is not too strong and their ambitions are far beyond their own families.

Maybe for this reason, Kishi is trolling NH and SS in Boruto. LOL.

Naruto’s bond with Sasuke was formed even before his birth, when Kushina asked the 3 month old Baby Sasuke to be friends with Naruto.

However, One thing is for sure. One will not live very long without the Other or Both will die together. That’s how their bond should end. 

[allthingskakashi]

As a fellow Kakashi lover, I’m curious if you feel that Kakashi is pretty misunderstood by a lot of fans? I’ve seen people say that he should’ve defected the village, and that he’s messed up for hiding his trauma. (Which he could’ve been more open about, yes, but I’m not sure that he even knew how to go about discussing it at the time) He could’ve easily left the village, but instead he wanted to change things and make society better by teaching teamwork, and to value everyone’s life by putting yourselves before the mission. He never lost hope for the future of shinobi and knew that it could be better. He definitely could’ve been more open about his past, but he’s always been more of a quiet and reserved kid (even before the trauma lol) Idk, I feel like a lot of people overlook his backstory when talking about him!

Istg every time i meet another person who shares this view i just wanna give em the biggest bear hug and im boutta go OFF

Remember back in their childhood when gai was being bullied by these men one time about his dad and kakashi dropped in and whacked them? He always had the conscience to stand up for what was wrong and be there for his comrades but sakumo's death was so traumatic for him, it forced him to change his own beliefs. He became a machine and he believed that carrying out missions as instructed was his only purpose in life, irrespective of what HE felt

because GOD YES he's so so misunderstood by fans half the time and I've seen so many people throw around the term bootlicker for him just cause he didn't throw away everything and leave the village and and join some criminal cult and like no?? The fact that he stayed only shows his strength of character if anything. He could've easily left if he wanted to, he would've made a very sexy villain too but he chose to be hopeful and he chose to remain good and that shows strength of character because it took him a fkn lot to stay in the right path and continue working for the village that took away his father from him.

And it had nothing to do with him being a bootlicker because kakashi is very much his own person and he has his own morals and ideals and he's not a stickler for rules until he believes in them. Yes he did become awfully rule-abiding after Sakumo's death for a while because he saw what listening to your heart instead of adhering to the rules did to his father. He saw the extent to which a previously respected shinobi was villified that he had to resort to taking his own life

And kakashi was angry at sakumo because he was only a small boy who had just lost his father. He couldn't help resent sakumo bc he kept thinking that if only sakumo had just stuck to the rules, he would've still been there with him. that if only he had just done what the village had asked him to, he wouldn't have lost the only family he had. Those were very valid thoughts for a child whose father had just committed suicide but kakashi did know in his heart that his dad was right and that's why he wanted to teach those very principles to the younger generations later on. That's why he told sakumo when they met in the limbo that he was proud of him. But back then when sakumo had just died, kakashi was a grieving child who was angry and dealing with so much pain inside him that he decided he'd never do what cost his father his life. Because he saw right in front of his eyes what happened if you broke the rules and so he did what his 5 year old mind thought he should. But even then, that was never who he was at heart. He never believed in mindlessly abiding by rules and that's what made him consider obito's words and ultimately go back to save rin. Obito's words did not change him, they only helped him see what was already in his heart.

But when obito said those words to him, it resonated with what he truly believed in inside his heart. So yeah, he's no bootlicker, he was just strong willed enough to not give in to the bad things that happened to him. He didn't make an impulse decision. He didn't want to abandon his village. It was his home and despite everything, he loved his home and he valued the people around him. He didn't want to just leave it all. He wanted to stay instead to make the village better, to pass on sakumo's values to the upcoming generations so that they became good shinobi AND humans. To teach his students the power of love and friendship so that they didn't grow up to become the kind of people that had denounced his father. Kakashi didn't want to take revenge for sakumo's death because his actions were never motivated by hatred, but he ensured that his father didn't die in vain.

Leaving would've been much easier for him too,he may have almost even thought of it on nights that were extremely painful, nights when he was completely engulfed with pain and anger at the horrible unfair world but he would've never done it bc that's not him. He CHOSE to listen to the part of his heart that still saw good. Betraying the village that was his home wasn't an option for him

So yeah the fact that he stayed only shows his strength of character. his determination, his judgement, his will to change the village for the better. He refused to pass students unless they knew the value of teamwork. He was the only one who failed team after team and sent them back to academy bc no matter what, he never would've let students who didn't value their comrades become shinobi. Would a bootlicker do that? He broke into root and freed tenzo; when everyone in the village ostracized naruto and iruka had almost made up his mind to ask hiruzen to assign him another student, KAKASHI was the one who told iruka to approach Naruto with love instead. He always had a mind of his own. When team 10 wanted to get their revenge after Asuma's death, kakashi himself offered to accompany them even tho tsunade wasn't initially very enthusiastic about the idea. Would a bootlicker do that? He sneaked naruto off to meet the 4th raikage bc he understood that it was important to Naruto. Would a bootlicker do that? He always did what he thought was right

He realised his mistakes and he changed for the better. He had to raise himself and yet he managed to stay on the right track and make not just a great shinobi but also a great person of himself. He didn't want to leave his home. that was his very identity, that was his world. He wanted to change it, not abandon it. I'm sorry that is not a bootlicker. Danzo had even tried to recruit him or smth once but he'd had the judgement and sense to turn him down

As for hiding his trauma idk what to say to that i mean you can't dictate how someone deals with trauma?? Sure, his ways weren't ideal but what can you expect? He was only a kid. He lost everyone that was important to him before he was even 15 and it's not like he received any help from anybody to heal and get better. The one time he tried to approach jiraiya, he turned kakashi away saying he was putting everyone off by being sad. Ig after that he just decided to stay quiet and keep it all inside himself. The village treated him as a human weapon and he started to see himself that way too because he really didn't care for his life anymore. He suffered from survivor's guilt and he wished he'd die, he hoped one of these missions would kill him. And he was this way for many years but what matters is that he did slowly let himself open up. It took him a long time but he did. He taught his genin team but he learnt from them too. They grew on him, he loved them and cared for them. Sure they were a handful but he they were his handful and he adored them. He could gather up the courage to finally let gai in too and even be verbal about how much he meant to him. It took a long way for him to get there and it was not easy but he got there and that's what matters

SO YEAH PHEW

im sorry that was so long but i get v riled up when people shit on kakashi about these things like you're missing the point and essence of his character and i will throw hands goddamit

The fandom really does misunderstand and misinterpret kakashi v often and there are many instances where i don't agree w the majority so it's so beautiful to me when i see people who think the same way THANK YOU SM I COMPLETELY AGREE W YOU LY <3

[mavda]

Beast Tamers

Ch.1 |  Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4(1) | Ch.4(2) | Ch.5(1) | Ch.5(2) | Ch.5(3) | Ch.5(4) | Ch.6(1) | Ch.6(2) | Ch.6(3) | Ch.7(1) | Ch.7(2) | Ch.7(3) | Ch.7(4) | Ch.7(5) | Ch.8(1) | Ch.8(2) | Ch.8(3) | Ch.9(1) | Ch.9(2) | Ch.9(3) | Ch.9(4) | Ch.10(1) | Ch.10(2) | Ch.10(3) | Ch.10(4) |

Ch.10: The Two-Tails (5)

Naruto can feel the eyes of every Beast Tamer on him. Their faces look forward, but their eyes follow whatever little sound reverberates in the room. 

His voice gets lost in the echo and the Two-Tails puts the paper down before letting out a sigh. 

Silence.

"Do you mind if I check the document?" 

The Two-Tails gives him a polite smile before sending her guard over to his seat. Sai stands between the man and him, his hand outreached. 

The two have a brief stand-off that makes Naruto realize the intentions of this meeting immediately. Sai moves the paper in his hands, activating whatever poison or seal could be in it, and hands his lord the paper. 

Formal, with the proper signatures and stamps. Real.

"When did you receive this letter?"

"5 days ago, when all of the Beast Tamers present were on their way here."

Naruto gives the document another once-over before giving it back to Sai. He wants the meeting to start, but he is not today's host.

So they all wait. Wait for the letter to go back to the Two-Tails, wait for her to read the letter again, wait for her to rearrange the papers on her desk and wait for her to whisper something to her guard.

They wait and Naruto crosses his arms over his chest in an attempt to have his body do anything but generate stress.

The meeting is nothing short of excruciating. Information they already have being shared to a nauseating degree. The Two-Tails and the Four-Tails bickering back and forth on measures they have already taken. 

Naruto zeroes in on the Four-Tails, on his ashen beard and haggard appearance. He does look like a man that cheated death, and Naruto now wants to know how.

The Four-Tails catches him looking, but Naruto doesn’t look away. The old man gives him a once-over with the blankest expression he can muster. They leave the meeting several hours later and with bored faces and with no amicable feelings for the other. 

Naruto walks all the way back with his hands inside his sleeves, with Sai right behind him and whispering the things he caught on before reaching their quarters. 

Shino sits in a chair overlooking the buildings outside, the sunlight washing over his dark hair as the sun sets in the distance. His bugs are moving around, but they aren’t noticeable to those that don’t know how to look for them.

Ino lays in one of the beds, her body carefully positioned on her side, with a pillow under her head and the covers over her feet. 

Neither Naruto nor Sai say anything and go on with their day as if nothing happened. Naruto sits in order to meditate, remembering step by step the teachings Jiraiya shared with him. His chakra envelops the room and then the hallways, and then farther and farther away, till his energy is laid thin and easy. A part of himself. 

Sai conjures little ink serpents that slither under the door and out their room, watches as his lord meditates and controls his unruly chakra and then concentrates on his own technique.  

They share their findings once Ino comes back to her body. She looks out of it, but they all know it’s only an after effect of her mind being in another body for an extended period of time. Her eyes are glossy and she seems to not hear a thing, but she has long told them that her mind is in top shape and it’s only her body that needs time acclimating. 

Nothing looks out of the ordinary, and although they find people being more cautious than usual most can be attributed to a Beast Tamer meeting taking place.

“So what was the meeting for?” asks Ino after her own report, now with the blanket around her body and looking at her lord with unclouded icy blue eyes.

“Nothing,” Naruto shrugs. He cracks his neck and sighs. “We mostly just talked about things we all know about. Shit, I zoned out halfway through, honestly. Sai, did they say anything important?”

“No, my lord.”

Shino plays with a bug on his hand and then raises his head, his black round glasses catching the light in the room, making him look more menacing than usual.

“What do you think is the purpose of this, then?”

“You tell me,” Naruto laughs. “And since none of you found even a sliver of something weird, then I guess the Two-Tails is clear?”

“I wouldn’t be so quick to-” starts Sai, but Naruto raises his hands in defeat. 

“I know, I know, but if you haven’t found anything, then what? Are we supposed to keep an eye on the Four-Tails? He looks like he can drop dead at any mo-”

Naruto stops abruptly, his own mind reeling in. A man with a Beast inside of him who was supposed to die at any moment. A group of people who seemed to be able to somewhat control said Beasts. Maybe-

“Are you maybe thinking that he’s in on it with the Uchiha?” Ino says before Naruto finishes his thoughts.

He looks at her with a confused look, unsure of what he’s even thinking.

“It could be an option,” Ino keeps on talking. Her own eyebrows now scrunched in concentration. “We have kept our attention on the Two-Tails because her actions seemed suspicious, but…” 

Ino���s face seems to come to a realization, her face lighting up immediately. “She suspects all of us,” Naruto seems ready to argue, but Ino explains immediately, “you are Beast Tamers who survived a full on attack from this so called Uchiha group, she was the only one out of the loop. You all seem suspicious and-”

“We kept to ourselves after the fact,” Shino’s monotonous voice chimes in, “she only has our stories to know what happened, and she’s trying to guess who is the one teaming up with the Uchiha, too.”

“I guess my attitude then was not the best,” Naruto laments. “Then…”

“I wouldn’t rule her out so soon, anyways,” Sai shares. 

Ino rearranges the blanket around her, and while she nods at Sai in agreement, she seems sure of the course of action to follow. “We know our lord isn’t in it with the Uchiha,” at her words Naruto gives her a grateful smile Ino accepts with a serious face, “I would also stick my neck out for Lord Gaara too, which leaves us with the Two-Tails and the Four-Tails, and since we haven’t found anything in here, her territory, it just doesn’t hurt to try and follow that man around to check who’s in contact with him.”

“I will send insects his way then.”

“What is he waiting for, though?” Naruto asks, looking around the room. “There is still the possibility that we are all clean, right?”

“Unlikely,” says Shino and Ino gives Naruto a shrug as an answer. 

“Well, let me drea-”

Shino startles one second and the next Sai whips his head in the direction of the door, his hand to his lips. 

Naruto’s eyes lock on the door, but unlike his guards, he can only sense someone the moment they stand near the door. 

“Have you already sent the report back home, Sai?” Naruto talks with a casual volume, changing the topic of their conversation as the guest outside tries to pry. 

“Not yet, my lord, it will be sent before midnight, though, rest assured.”

“Good, make sure to write in the news of the Six-Tails.”

“Yes, my lord.”

Naruto looks at Shino, as it seems the person outside has left, but his guard shakes his head no, and as such they have to keep on their charade.

Ino takes over then, making small chat with her lord as if they had come to this place as a vacation. As the leading spy specialist, she has trained herself to be able to talk about everything and give out nothing, so Naruto just lets her lead him topic after topic. 

Shino keeps his concentration on the door outside and Sai takes the moment to give another once-over to the room. 

It’s almost an hour later that Shino gives them the ok to speak freely again. 

“From the Two-Tails or the Four-Tails?” Inquires Ino immediately after.

“I’m following him, it’s hard to tell.” Shino’s brow is furrowed.

His technique is easier to control the more bugs there are, sending only one over distances makes it an incredibly sensible operation, so Ino stops asking questions and stands with the blanket around her body, “Do you think maybe they’ll attack today?”

“That would be a bold move,” Sai shares, his back to the wall near the windows, his eyes scanning around.

“Well, seems they are bold.” Naruto can’t help but remember the attack on the Summit. “Whatever, we’ll fight them here, it’s better for us.”

“Yes, my lord. We know what to do,” Ino assures, and Naruto sighs before letting his head hang for a second.

“The ink snakes have been dispelled, nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Maybe, tomorrow then, we have to sleep anyway.”

Sai nods, “Please do so, I will keep guard.”

Shino is the last one to prepare for bed, as he waited until he followed their guest to their room. But it seemed to be just a servant that gathered information for the Two-Tails, so they end up where they started. 

With more questions than answers and just preparing themselves for a fight. 

Naruto lets himself fall loudly on the bed while Shino arranges his clothes on his nightstand. Sai leaves his bag on his bed, but his back doesn’t leave the side of the window. 

Ino sits on the edge of her bed, right next to Sai. “You can wake me up for a couple of hours, you know.”

Sai blinks rapidly at her, surprised at her gesture. “Please, do not worry about me, I am trained to spend days without sleep, I will be fine.”

Ino lets the comb move through her hair, adding an air of nonchalance to her words, “I am not going to die for a couple of hours without sleep.”

Sai tilts his head and follows her hands as they move through her blond hair, the light catching on some strands. “Please do not worry, you are vital for this operation to succeed, as is Shino, let me take the burden of guarding.”

Naruto sits and finds himself entranced by this display between Sai and Ino. The moment Ino nods and says goodnight to Sai and Sai only gives back a nod back, makes Naruto want to do something. “Sai,” he starts, but Naruto immediately feels tension coming from Ino, so he relents, “you are right, Ino is super important here, so thanks for being so understanding.”

Sai is still confused at all this worry surrounding him, as he is known to be in a special unit that specializes in taking care of the clan’s dirty work. Sleep has never been an issue. So he tilts his head once more, “It is my honor, my lord.” And somehow Lord Naruto seems somewhat dissatisfied with his answer so Sai presses, “I will guard you with my life, please have a good rest.”

Naruto gives him a weird smile Sai mimics, and they look at each other without understanding anything. 

“Yeah, right, let’s catch some sleep.” Naruto falls back to his bed, snuggles into his bedclothes and tries his best to soften up the tension. “I mean, what’s the probability we get jumped at night, right?” He adds a tired laugh, in a show of good humor.

But Shino says, without opening his eyes and without moving a muscle in his body, “Highly likely, my lord, as we are at our most vulnerable and the enemy will most likely try to exploit our weaknesses. Attacking us at this time would raise his probability of landing a critical hit exponentially.”

Naruto doesn’t know whether Shino is joking or not, so he waits a second, but there is no punchline and no laugh after. He worries he will have to explain his sense of humor and at this point in time he feels it’s too la-

“It was a joke, Shino,” Ino says, her voice quiet, “Lord Naruto said it as a joke.” 

Shino remains silent and Naruto wonders whether the man knows about his remarks being oddly serious in a funny setting. Maybe this is his way of joking?

After a few seconds Sai speaks, “I’m sorry I didn’t understand your joke either, my lord, but since it was meant as one, uh, ha ha.”

Ino sighs deeply and Naruto has to awkwardly shake off this encounter. “Let’s just sleep.” 

Silence falls around them and Sai keeps his attention on the outside.

[heartsywritesthethings]

Team 7 Training 2

Part 1 

“I just wanna get stronger so I can show Sasuke that we can be friends!” Naruto said, throwing a couple of punches at the air. His new sensei, Jiraiya, just stared at him fondly. While he admired the nine tails for his intense friendship with Sasuke, he was worried that it would break the kid’s heart to learn about the true betrayal. True, he had fought off several ninjas in order to fight off Sasuke himself, but he still had it in his mind that Sasuke was coming back. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to get strong so a certain lady friend will finally notice you? Ladies absolutely love strong ninjas like you.” Jiraiya offered, leaning back against a tree lazily as he watched his new pupil. Naruto turned a bright shade of pink and he quickly looked away.

“W-well, maybe that too. But mostly for Sasuke. And becoming the strongest Hokage the Hidden Leaf has ever seen!” Naruto exclaimed, jumping up high into the air as he mentioned his lifelong dream. 

“If you ask me, becoming strong for the ladies is far superior to all of those things. If you’re strong enough, you can get any girl you want in the village. In any village!” Jiraiya said, smiling at just the thought. Ah, all of those different girls. Each different village meant a different level of experience and kinks never before seen in the leaf village.

“You’re gross sometimes, pervy sage.” Naruto said, scrunching up his face in disgust. There was only ever one girl on his mind at all times and she already had her heart set on Sasuke. Maybe if he brought Sasuke back, she would realize how strong he was too and decide to choose him instead. That thought alone was enough to get the fire back into his heart.

“I really do hate it when you call me that,” Jiraiya grumbled to himself, but it wasn’t as if he could actually correct him on that front. Even some of the girls he had relations with admitted that he could be pervy at times.

“Alright, Pervy Sage! Let’s get to training already! I wanna know how to fight better and get Team 7 back together!” Naruto said excitedly before bouncing over to where his sensei was. Jiraiya always looked so bored, but that never really bothered Naruto. His first official teacher in the ninja arts was Kakashi and that man was just about impossible to read because of his mask.

“We’ve already trained so much today. Leave this old man alone to his thoughts.” Jiraiya whined, closing his eyes in hopes that Naruto would just leave him alone. Of course, that was like asking the kid to just stop breathing.

“If I leave you alone, all you’ll do is think gross thoughts, Pervy Sage. I still have a ton of energy and more to practice! Let’s keep going! Keep training!” Naruto said, bouncing up on the balls of his feet as he looked at Jiraiya with the widest eyes that he could. Even though the sage couldn’t see it, he could practically feel those puppy dog eyes piercing through his armor. 

Fine. If this kid wanted to train, they would train.

“Alright, kid.” Jiraiya sighed, opening his eyes begrudgingly.  Naruto jumped up high in the air with an excited yell. Where the hell this kid had the energy to do all of this was  beyond him. It was almost impossible for him to just keep up with his own pupil.

“What are we gonna learn today? Can you teach me how to make a lightning sword? Or maybe you could teach me to talk to bugs? Dogs? Oh! Foxes! I bet I would be really good at talking to foxes.” Naruto said excitedly, looking around as if any of those creatures would be available for him to attempt to control. Jiraiya rolled his eyes and picked Naruto up by his shoulders and walked him over to the nearest tree. 

“Oh! What are we doing now? Are you going to show me how to climb trees quietly? I can already do that since I am a top notch ninja.” Naruto said excitedly as his back was pressed against the bark of the tree. 

“Put your arms up.” Jiraiya said calmly. He did his best to hide his own smile. This would definitely tire the kid out.

“Uh, are you going to make me climb the tree backwards? I’ve never tried that before.” Naruto said, mostly to himself as his sensei wasn’t listening at all. 

Jiraiya took out a piece of rope from his pocket and began tying up his new student against the tree. He could practically hear the gears turning in Naruto’s head as he tried to make sense of what Jiraiya was doing. 

“Are you trying to see if I can get myself free? I totally can! Not that I would ever let myself be kidnapped like this. Being kidnapped doesn’t look good for a future Hokage like me.” Naruto said, already wiggling and struggling against the ropes. He couldn’t budge much, but Jiraiya wouldn’t doubt that the kid could get out if he really wanted to. 

“You are going to have to withstand certain torture methods without relying on your nine tails power.” Jiraiya said smugly, standing back and looking over his handiwork. Naruto paled slightly. 

“Uh…torture?” He squeaked out. His former energy immediately draining out as his mind went to the absolute worst torture methods that they had gone over in ninja class. Was his sensei really about to do those things to him just because he was asking for help.

Jiraiya held up a hand, seeing the panic in the kid’s face.

“Not like that, Naruto. Give me some credit as your teacher.” Jiraiya told him. 

Wow, what has this kid gone through to think that someone would immediately hurt him like this? Someone that he trusted? That would have to be addressed at some point in the future.

“Now, I’m going to tell you a word, and you are going to have to keep that word a secret from me. If you tell me before I stop, then you lose and we’ll have to do some more torture training and you’ll have to leave me alone for the rest of the night.” Jiraiya said, giving Naurto a pointed look with that last statement.

“There’s no way I’ll break! I’m Naruto Uzumaki! I’m going to be the greatest Hokage in the Leaf Village!” Naruto yelled out. His confidence boosted slightly, and he couldn’t let his sensei know that he was actually kind of scared of being tortured as a form of training. Jiraiya finally smiled. An evil smile that Naruto had never really seen before.

“Naruto, are you ticklish?” Jiraiya asked.

Oh. Naruto’s smile slipped ever so slightly. How in the world was he supposed to answer something like that? No matter how he responded, he was sure to get tickled. Instead of saying anything, he instead clamped his mouth shut. This was supposed to be torture training, right? Jiraiya chuckled to himself.

“You’re already in the right mindset, Naruto. Now, the word you’re going to keep from me is Ramen.” Jiraiya said, “You can back out any time starting now. All you have to do is say that word.”

Naruto opened his mouth to say something, but decided to close it. Jiraiya couldn’t help but chuckle. This was probably the only time this kid was quiet when he wasn’t eating or sleeping. Hell, he was still loud doing both of those things. Jiraiya went ahead and began his torture.

He began wiggling his fingers near Naruto’s elbows. Naruto immediately began focusing on not laughing. His face was honestly hilarious. Naruto was glaring at an empty space in front of him, scowling with intense concentration. 

“You can go ahead and say the word, Naruto.” Jiraiya hummed, moving his tickly wiggly fingers under Naruto’s arms. Small squeaks escaped Naruto’s lips and his face twitched as a smile fought to the surface. 

“You seem pretty ticklish, Naruto. You should probably go ahead and say what I need to hear so that I stop.” Jiraiya hummed. Truthfully, he was enjoying this. The lack of laughter seemed like a challenge. Now he had to make him laugh. Naruto shook his head furiously. He was going to get through this. He was going to be the Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village after all, he could withstand a few tickles.

Right?

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Jiraiya said, still tickling and occasionally pinching at Naruto’s armpit with one hand as he reached into his pocket with another. He pulled out a long purple feather and Naruto could practically feel all of his blood draining from his face. 

The feather lightly danced around one underarm while Jiraiya’s other hand continued to scratch and squeeze at the other.

“Wahahahahiihihihit!” Naruto giggled, shaking his head more wildly. He couldn’t hold back his giggles and his laughter anymore. The conflicting tickly feelings were driving him up a damn wall. This was somehow worse than when Kakashi and the other members of team 7 all ganged up on him. Maybe it was because now he was purposefully holding out for a reason. Before, he would just enjoy the tickles and laugh wildly, but now he had to hold back from yelling the one word that his body was screaming for him to yell. 

“Aw, that easy? Go ahead and say what I wanna hear then. Might as well since I can already tell that it’s going to get worse from here.” Jiraiya said with a shit eating grin on his face.

“NAAHAeheheahaver! Never!” Naruto laughed.

“Your funeral kid.” Jiraiya chuckled. 

Next was the ribs and sides. Jiraiya began pinching up and down Naruto’s ribs and sides. With each pinch, Naruto jumped and squeaked. It seemed that Jiraiya was planning out which ribs and spots on his body were the most sensitive. 

“Looks like here…. And here.” Jiraiya said, focusing on two very specific areas on Naruto’s body to attack now. One spot was the second upper rib on his left, and the other was just below his ribs on his right. Jiraiya began pinching each spot sporadically. 

“AHAHAHA SENSEI! NOHOHOHO ACK!” Naruto lauched, his heels digging into the dirt and grass underneath him as his body attempted to get away from those tickly fingers. No matter how much he wiggled, he couldn’t escape. Once he realized how futile fighting would be, he let out a giggly groan.

“Ah, finally realized that you’re stuck, huh?” Jiraiya said, talking a little louder in order to be heard over all of that laughter. “Wait, why didn’t you attempt to get out sooner? You knew what was going to happen, so why wait until now to struggle?”

“Shuahahahat UP! AHA! PEheheEHEHRvy SAGE!” Naruto laughed. He squeezed his eyes shut as the tickling feelings filled his body. Those weren’t even his worst spots and he was already going crazy.

“I’m starting to think that this may not be torture to you. Do you, Naruto Uzumaki, like being tickled?” Jiraiya said. He watched as his pupil turned a very bright shade of pink. Sure, it could easily be written off as just lack of oxygen, but Jiraiya had a feeling that wasn’t the case. 

“How about this. You admit that you like being tickled, and I’ll stop. The original word doesn’t count anymore.” Jiraiya said. Naruto immediately snapped his head up. He was still laughing and giggling, of course, but he was shocked.

“Never! Ihihihih’ll never fahahall for someTHIHIHIng sohhohoho stupid.” Naruto laughed, and managed to actually stick out his tongue at his sensei.

“So you really like being tickled because otherwise, you would have thought a little bit before doing that.” Jiraiya said.

Little did he know that little goes on in Naruto’s thoughts before he does anything. Oh well. The damage was done.

Jiraiya began targeting Naruto’s stomach now. The nine tails began to accept that this was how he was going to die. By the tickling hands of his sensei no less. It was all over. Goodbye Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi. Goodbye Ichiraku Ramen – he’d miss that the most in the afterlife.

Jiraiya was a little too good at this. The feather began swirling around Naruto’s belly button. The seal of the nine tails, though hidden now, seemed to be the most sensitive place on his body. Aside from his navel of course. Once that feather dipped inside and twisted around, Naruto lost it.

“RAMEEEEN! RAMEN RAHAHAHAMEN! PLEHEHEAAAAAAAAASENOTTHEREEEE!” Naruto screeched. While it did pain him to have to give up so quickly, this kind of tickling was just unfair. 

Jiraiya immediately pulled back. Even though he had changed up the rules, he didn’t want to actually kill his new student. Not yet anyways.

He untied Naruto and the blonde slumped to the ground. Jiraiya picked him up, tossing him easily over his shoulder. He walked Naruto over to his sleeping bag and set him down.

“Now, will you please go to sleep and leave me in peace?” Jiraiya asked. Naruto huffed out another laugh and curled up on his sleeping bag.

“I…still gotta…run three miles…then…I can sleep,” Naruto said between deep breaths. Jiraiya just stared at him. This boy just about had his soul tickled out of him and he still was up for a run? Three miles?

“I will never understand you, kid.” Jiraiya sighed, though he was warming up to having a student like Naruto. Maybe it would make all of the mistakes he had made in the past go away if he could do right by this crazy chaotic kid.

(17/25)

-GA!Babe

[panharmonium]

Merlin and Naruto

I did Merlin here, so here’s Naruto! :D

[disclaimer for everyone: I have only watched up through Season 10 of Shippuden (the arc with the Five Kage Summit), and I am trying to avoid spoilers for everything after that point, so please don’t interact with this (including tags, because tumblr shows them to me automatically) unless you are avoiding ALL spoilers.  For me, this includes discussion about whether you like/dislike future seasons, comparisons of various seasons in terms of quality, etc.  Thanks, everyone! <3]

My favorite parent-child relationship: I know they’re not blood-related, but Iruka and Naruto have me crying every time I see them together.  Naruto straight-up says that when he’s with Iruka he feels like he knows what it’s like to have a father, and honestly, Iruka loves Naruto so much at this point that he would insta-adopt him if Naruto asked.  I love how Naruto always cites Iruka as the first person who cared for him even later in the show when Iruka hasn’t had as much screentime, and when I saw Iruka cry because he’s so proud of Naruto at the end of the Pain arc, it was just...too much for my little heart to handle.

My favorite sibling relationship: You know, thinking about it, almost all of the people in Naruto are only children, as far as we know!  But in terms of just that sibling vibe - Sakura and Naruto definitely give me that feel.  I know he has a crush on her, but their relationship has always felt more sibling-like to me, and I especially love how deep their bond has become by the time we get to Shippuden.  They are just so comfortable with each other now - the depth of the love and friendship they feel for each other is palpable.  

My favorite family relationship (other): I adore Naruto’s relationship with Jiraiya.  That scene where Naruto falls asleep against his back almost killed me, and Jiraiya’s later line, “Your smile is my salvation” - that was too much.  It absolutely destroyed me.  The way Jiraiya kind of gave up on everything after his old life went to hell - neverending wars, Orochimaru gone, his original students dead, his student’s students dead, Minato dead - he just ran away after that, and it was meeting Naruto that kind of rekindled that spark of hope in him and helped him reconnect with his community and rediscover a sense of purpose in his life.  Naruto enabled him to finally come home, and I think that’s beautiful.

My favorite friendship between two people: There are so many friendships in Naruto that I love (one of the greatest things about this show for me has been how little focus is given to romantic relationships, at least so far; it’s very much a friendship-oriented show), but right now I’m in a bit of a Kakashi-Yamato hole.  I was super primed to not like Yamato when he first showed up, because him being there meant that my favorite character WASN’T there, and also he ended up replacing Kakashi on the one mission where the team finally found Sasuke, but the guy won me over in the end.  He is one of my favorite characters now - my heart just swells every time I see him - and I think his relationship with Kakashi is super interesting.  I’ve written before about how Kakashi’s only truly intimate friendships are with people who are dead, and I do think that applies when it comes to Yamato, too, even though the two of them are obviously very companionable and close.  There is still a level to that relationship where Kakashi is a bit of a mentor figure, the “superior officer,” which results in a degree of (still friendly and affectionate) distance.  And as with all of his other relationships, Kakashi doesn’t really confide in Yamato about his life or open up to him in the same way that he does when he talks to his dead friends - but at the same time, there is an element to their relationship that doesn’t exist in Kakashi’s other friendships, and it’s the fact that Kakashi trusts Yamato with his kids, implicitly and without reservation.  Kakashi’s entire life right now is very much enmeshed in what happens to his students, and even if he doesn’t necessarily talk about that with Yamato, Yamato is still deeply involved in that work.  Yamato VOLUNTEERED for that work.  And he continues to dedicate himself to it even when his first mission as Kakashi’s stand-in ends up going completely off the rails and turning into WAY more than he signed up for.  He keeps doing his utmost for Kakashi’s kids without it even being his original responsibility, and that is such an unusual thing, for Kakashi, who in every other circumstance is always the one stepping in to help other people, the one who always shoulders his burdens alone.  Nobody ever asks Kakashi if he needs help with these incredibly high-needs children, and neither does Yamato - but the difference is that Yamato jumps in to help regardless, and he stays no matter how complicated things get.  That’s huge, and it’s only going to become more important.  It’s just - it is difficult for Kakashi to have intimate friendships with people who don’t share his history, and this rules out almost everybody else in the world, because all the people who truly share his own history are dead.  But the degree to which Yamato has altruistically and irreversibly entwined himself into the most important parts of Kakashi’s new history - the chapters being written right now, the ones that are going to define the rest of Kakashi’s life - means that Yamato is well on his way to breaking through that wall and becoming the first exception to a universal rule. [There is a lot to be said on Kakashi’s side of this, too, like - every time Kakashi refuses to call Yamato by his code name I lose my mind just a little bit, and I have MANY thoughts about Kakashi basically dragging folks who’ve been victimized or exploited or experimented on out of ANBU and then absorbing them into his own team, where they become a part of a family-type unit that respects them and cares about them and treats them like human beings.  I mean, there’s a huge difference between the Yamato we meet in S2 vs. the Yamato we know in S10 (and the same thing goes for Sai!) - and that’s something I think about a lot.]

My favorite friendship between a group:  I love all of the team dynamics, but Team Gai is a fave XD  The absurd contrast between oh-so-serious Neji vs. Gai/Lee’s incredible goofiness (with Tenten’s exasperation in between) is comedy gold.  I screamed with laughter in S1 when Gai was trying to get Neji to put his hand in the circle and do their “shout a slogan like a sports team” thing - I’ve never seen anything funnier on this show than jonin!Neji trying to put up with Gai’s antics.  

My favorite mentorship: My favorite mentorship is always Kakashi and whichever kid happens be onscreen with him at that moment, but I’ll be honest and say that Kakashi+Sasuke was the first dynamic that got me actually invested in this show (as opposed to me just watching it because it was on and not really caring what happened to any of the characters).  They are still the mentorship dynamic about which I have the most complex feelings, and that is especially true after the last season we watched.  I will probably end up making a separate post about this, because I still have not written down all of my thoughts about the end of Season 10 and I am still trapped in my feelings about this very lost child and the only adult who ever tried to help him the way he deserved to be helped, and I know I have way more to say about them than I can reasonably fit in this bullet point.  But - the short version is that I am super compelled by the way that every tragedy that’s befallen Kakashi is precisely what shapes him into the only adult who can help this particular kid, the way seemingly senseless events ended up putting Kakashi in a position where he’s the only adult who can intervene on this kid’s behalf many, many years later.  The way Sasuke’s plight (and the potential that Kakashi has to help him) suddenly grants meaning to the worst parts of Kakashi’s life - that knocks me on my butt.  

My favorite rivalry: So I probably would not have said this until the episode where Kakashi comes three seconds away from being made Hokage, but I’m gonna say Gai & Kakashi, solely to express my love and appreciation for Gai in that episode.  This is the ep where Gai challenges Kakashi to a race through the entire village (as a sort of “last hurrah before we can’t do this kind of silly shit anymore” thing) and Kakashi is initially kind of reluctant to do it, because he’s stressed out about a lot of things, but he does end up agreeing to it, and then he has SO much fun, and I LOVED this so much; I can’t even tell you.  This moment takes place immediately after Kakashi returns from that horrible, awful confrontation with Sasuke, and everything preceding this scene was very hard for me to see, because everybody is just asking Kakashi to do more and more and more for them without giving him even a hot minute to be like “i almost just killed my own kid.  i almost just had to kill my own kid, who was trying to kill my other kid, who was trying to kill kid #1 first, so i wouldn’t have assume the burden of killing him myself.”  Nobody checks on him, nobody asks, and Kakashi has to just hold onto that horror and also fret over the uncertain yet chilling secrets that Madara Uchiha disclosed and also prepare to shoulder the crushing weight of an office he never asked for - AND THEN.  GAI SHOWS UP.  And even though Gai doesn’t really know what happened, he still checks Kakashi over from top to bottom to make sure he’s in one piece, and then he drags him into this stupid competition, and it makes Kakashi LAUGH.  They go running all out across the craterized scene of devastation that used to be their home, and they have FUN doing it, and Kakashi straight-up tells Gai, “This was just what I needed,” which - god.  It would be great if Kakashi had somebody he could actually talk to, sure, but there’s also a space in our lives for people who just cheer us up, no questions asked.  It’s like when you tell someone you have a problem and they ask, “Do you want to talk about it or do you want to be distracted?”  Sometimes you don’t need to talk about it.  Sometimes you just need people who will take you for a goofy footrace and make you feel like you’re running too fast for any of your troubles to ever touch you again, for a few minutes. 

My favorite hatred/antipathy: The answer to this question used to be Kakashi and Itachi, and while I’m even MORE fascinated by their dynamic now than ever, it’s taken on a whole new dimension, given that I think Itachi is (secretly) thrilled to see someone like Kakashi so committed to taking him down and keeping Sasuke safe.  So, in place of that, I’ll just say that I love how much all of the Akatsuki cannot stand each other XD  Almost none of them get along, and it makes me laugh every time - I can’t believe they ever get anything done, though I guess that’s to be expected when you get that many super-criminals together in a room.  I especially love how they all think Orochimaru is so stupid...cannot get over them laughing at him and his body-snatching immortality schemes.

My favorite potential relationship between characters who never talk in canon: Okay, these are both silly answers, but - I would have KILLED to see Jiraiya interacting with Minato’s team.  Like, I’m certain they spent time together, but honestly, what I wouldn’t give to have witnessed some of it.  All I could think about during that mini-arc where Jiraiya teaches Naruto how to sync up with Gamariki was how little!Kakashi would have taken one look at the dancing frogs and decided he would be using dog!summons for the rest of his life; meanwhile Obito would have already been in the frog’s mouth begging to be launched into the air like a cannonball.  Also - my sister said the other night how it is a CRIME that we never got to see Sasuke forced to interact with Jiraiya and honestly, that is too true.

[cynicalrelief]

ServiceBot!Hinata fic idea

Fandom: Naruto (anime)

Characters: Hatake Kakashi & Hyuuga Hinata w/ Villian/Mad Scientist Orochimaru, Cool Uncle Jiraiya, and Kakashi's ninken

Set in an futuristic au where robotics is super advanced and robots are a normal essential commodity.

The first service bots were built with a human-like appearance but over the years their look was changed to something befitting their true metallic nature-- sleek, chrome, and machine-like

These first gen service bots were rendered obsolete as newer models started coming and robotics evolved

That, and some of them were perhaps...too human. Their sentinet nature a little unsettling for something existed purely to serve and not think

Out with the old and in with new, as they say

Kakashi is some depressed dude

Got no family

Mother died young and father followed soon after

Got put into the system

Looked after by older, cheap[ nanny/caretaker bots

Becuase the govt. is stingy

Kakashi has no friends

Bit of a a recluse

Although his neighbor Gai is probably the closest thing he has to a friend

He’d probably would be the first and only person to notice if he ever went missing

Next would probably be his boss at the store he works security at

Kakashi is a newly discharged military soldier 

He’s having trouble adjusting to civilian life

Plagued with nightmares of his squadmate’s deaths: Obito and Rin, his captain Minato

Blames himself for their death

Major suvivor’s guilt

Shipped back home with nothing but the clothes on his back and a single photo of his deceased squad

Rin had had a soft spot for those old, antique cameras

After getting back it turns out he’d inherited a junkyard from some uncle he’d never heard of

Kakashi checks out the property

It’s a literal dump

That, and his uncle must have really liked dogs becuase there are nine freaking dogs waiting for him there

They’re all super friendly and probably the worst guard dogs he’s ever met

Is looking around when he causes some kind of landslide of junk to come down on top of him

Luckily he evades the avalanche’s attack

It’s then that he finds Hinata

Kakashi thought she was a dead body for a fat sec b/c of all the muck and grime

 Upon closer look he realizes that no, it’s not a rotting corpse, but just some dirty, old android

He digs her out

Looks her over and is surprised by the good condition Hinata is in

Kakashi figures he can clean her up and maybe sell her parts?

She’s obviously a older model; a relic from when people preferred a more human touch 

Now service bots are all sleek silver and cold metal

They probably stopped making her parts a long time ago

Maybe she’ll be worth something

People were always buying old shit

Kakashi cleans her up

Is shocked with how life-like and human she looks

To the casual observer she would look like any other young woman

Kakashi is a little freaked out becuase even the older gens, some of the first, weren’t this convincing

Her skin--god her skin!!-- it feels just like human skin if a little colder and nothing like the hard plastic or smooth metal they use today

The only kinds of bots with this type of realistic and state-of-the-art synthetic skin were high-tech caretaker bots and....sex bots...

Kakashi decides to take Hinata to an old friend of his father’s, Jiraiya

Jiraiya is the owner of a very large and successful sex bot company

Kakashi figures if anyone would know what Hinata is it would be Jiraiya

Maybe she was a discarded protoype

The old pervert has been in the robotics game long before Kakashi was born

Jiraiya greets Kakashi enthusiastically

 Becomes very curious when he sees the bot Kakashi is toting around   

Jiraiya takes Kakashi to his personal workshop   

He mostly deals with designs and stuff but does tinker with the droids now and then

Jiraiya is opening up Hinata and praising her maker when he goes very still

Kakashi immidiatley knows something is up

Turns out Orochimaru had made this bot 

 Orochimaru: Jiraiya’s fellow robotics rival and ex-best friend who went Dark Side   

Jiraiya slowly asks Kakashi where he got Hinata

They summarize that Hinata had been discarded by Orochimaru just before he was exposed for illegal human and robotic experimentation

Jiraiya advises Kakashi to get rid of the bot

He even offers to do it for him

Who knows what kind of sleeping monster Hinata could be

Kakashi looks at Hianta’s peaceful face

The idea of destroying something so human-like doesn’t sit right with him

His hands would no longer shed blood

Real or otherwise

So Kakashi declines and tells Jiraiya he’ll properly dispose of Hinata himself

Jiraiya agrees, too shaken up and distracted to really doubt/question Kakashi

Kakashi takes Hinata back home

He thinks about what to do with her

Finally convinces himself that depsite how real she looks, she’s just a machine

And it would be safer for him and everbody else if he just disposed of her

Properly this time

Kakashi takes her to the garbage compactor

Is about to toss her in but loses his nerve at the last minute

Sighs heavily and dumps her off on the porch of the house his uncle had left him, located on the lot of the junkyard

Kakashi goes inside and figures he’ll deal with her tomorrow

Maybe he’ll have a clearer head in the morning

He settled into bed and prepares himself for another sleepless night

Only he actually he falls asleep

And something else wakes up

Outside one of the dogs sniff curiously at Hinata

They nudge Hinata’s hand with their nose

Suddenly she whirs and clicks to life

Turns out Jiraiya’s early tinkering reattached two vital wires together that connected her core systems to her battery

Hinata is curious about her surroundings

Her eyes focus and zoom in on the dog watching her

She jerkily reaches out, limbs stiff and in need of oil after so long

The dog gives her a cursory sniff before licking her hand

Hinata pats his head carefully

 She decides to recharge her battery before it runs out

Hinata heads inside the house

She opens up her chestplate and pulls out a cord and connects herself to an outlet in the wall

Satisfied she’s completed her objective, she moves on her to secondary objective

Hinata explores as far as her cord will go

The house is neat and clean

Hinata worries she won’t have much to do for her new master

And then she looks in the fridge

There’s a bottle of ketchup (45.08%), a pickle jar, and a (WARNING: EXPIRED. REMOVE IMMIDIATLEY) half-eaten sandwhich

...looks like her skills will be needed, after all

Hinata doesn’t remember much about her time before waking up

Whenever she tried to pull up the memory files there’s always an error message (ERROR!! FILES CORRUPTED. PERFORM DIAGNOSTIC? [Y / N])

Hinata can’t wait to meet her new master

A small part of her hopes he’ll mucher kinder than her last one

She can’t remember who her last master was

All she knows was that he was not a nice man

Hinata peforms a minor miracle: she makes breakfast

Kakashi nearly has a heart attack when he steps into the kitchen

He finds Hinata, wearing a little apron and standing over stove with all nine dogs sitting at her feet, watching her prepare breakfast 

Big climax would probably be Orochimaru finding out about his lost creation

He comes back for Hinata

It’s when Hinata is taken from him that Kakashi realizes just how important she’s become to him, not having noticed how attached he’d become to the bot in the short time he’d known her

Kakashi does everything he can to get her back

He’s pretty badass and the whole arc is like straight out of an action movie

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I

I have a proposition that might sound strange? But also my kind can't stop thinking about it, ignore this ask if you don't like it

So

Tenzo is not like Kakashi, he actually trains Team 7 with a more firm hand from the beginning because he needs to make sure that these kids are not going to die on him, and that means that he probably wouldn't sign them to the Chunin exams right away because people die during those fucking exams, meaning that Orochimaru can't get a safe hold on Sasuke

So maybe Sasune stays in the village

Now, follow me: Kakashi stops the fight between Tenzo and Zabuza, and then shows up later on the bridge because he really does not want Zabuza to die, he's interesting and Haku would be devastated if Zabuza dies, and maybe Kakashi helps against Gato so both Haku and Zabuza survive

Imagine Haku and Naruto becoming friends and trying to keep in touch with one another, and then the Chunin exams roll around and it's a shit-show and Naruto stops Gaara, Hiruzen dies and all that

And after Tsunade takes the had, Tenzo decides that it's time for his little kits to pick up a more focused training, because every shinobi has a unique way of fighting, right? And imagine Tenzo noticing the way Sasuke eyes swords once in a while, so he gets somehow in contact with fucking Zabuza to ask him to train Sasuke for a while because Sasuke hates being coddled like a kid and Zabuza hates kids, so it works perfectly and Zabuza can train him in a more brutal sword-fighting style

And then Sakura says that she wants to learn how Tsunade fights, the way she can enhance her strenght with chakra and all that so Tenzo happily leaves her with Tsunade

But Naruto is a bit of a problem, because Tenzo needs to keep an eye on him to make sure that the Kyuubi won't break free, so when he catches Jiraiya he kinda goes with them on their training trip to make sure that nothing goes too wrong along the way

On the one hand, i love the idea of Zabuza training Sasuke and oh BOY would that conversation with Tsunade be interesting because “what do you mean you want him to train under a missing nin???”

But also, Tenzo managing to convince Tsunade this is a good idea because ‘Senpai will be there, and i know he’s in the bingo book but he has never posed a threat to any of us’ and honestly, she’s here for making Kakashi’s life a little more difficult

And since Kakashi’s getting suckered in to help Zabuza train Sasuke (Kakashi has electric style, so while Zabuza teaches Sasuke to weild a sword, Kakashi helps him with his electric style jutsu’s and improvements) Gai decides to tag along.

They all meet outside of Konoha, and there’s this really cute taijutsu using kid named Lee watching them who happens to notice the taijutsu master in the group boasting about his skills...

So what i’m saying is...

Kisame and Itachi go their seperate ways for a while, since it would be a bad idea for Itachi to be around Kakashi when Sasuke is there, and Lee ends up going up to Gai and asking him to train him in Taijutsu so that he can get stronger, because while Genma has certainly tried to help him he’s not a taijutsu master like Gai.

Also...

Imagin Genma’s reaction when Lee introduces him to his new Taijutsu master and he see’s his old teammate standing in front of him

suddenly it all makes sense why Kakashi left Konoha.

Sasuke gets to train under Zabuza (kenjutsu) and Kakashi (electric style)

Lee gets to train under Gai (Taijutsu)

Sakura trains under Tsunade still

Naruto trains under both Jiraya and Tenzo, who travel while training him. Tenzo making sure that Naruto doesn't learn some of Jiraya's worst traits XD

[lex-nite]

Space AU previews

For the wonderful @hexadecimal00. Here are previews of the 3 space AUs I currently have in the works. This includes the start of chapter 1 for each of them. None of these have been edited yet, so they may contain errors.

Starbound: 

Kakashi flipped through the folder that Tenzo had dropped on his desk. “Why am I being handed a file for a twelve year old?”

“Because said twelve year old damaged the air recycling unit in sector seven. He says it was a prank, but someone higher up thinks it warrants an investigation.” His kohai told him as he sat down across from him. “And you get the crap assignment since you pissed Ibiki off.”

The silver haired man wanted to groan. He knew he should have taken that mission to Snow when he’d had the chance. “You know that wasn’t my fault, Tenz. Genma was the one drunk off his ass who thought it was a good idea to mess with his desk.”

 “Yeah, but you didn’t stop him, so he’d holding you partially responsible. Next time, rat the asshole out. You know how he gets when he drinks.” Kakashi stared down at the assignment in his hands. Yeah, he knew how Genma was and how pissed Ibiki would be.

“Who the hell is Iruka Umino?” He was listed as his point of contact for the investigation. He was listed as a chunin, but there was no other information.

Tenzo shrugged. “Don’t know, but it sounds like your problem.”

“You’re so cruel, kohai!” Kakashi snapped the file shut and headed for the door. “See if I ever take you out for drinks or dinner again.”

“Again? Last time, you conveniently forgot your wallet. The time before that you accidentally let the waiter scan my chip for the bill. I can’t afford going out with you anymore, you ass.” He made a rude gesture towards his senpai.

Kakashi blew him a kiss as the door shut behind him. Naruto Uzumaki was the nightmare of sector seven and now the boy was his problem. He pushed aside the twinge of guilt that rose up as he thought of his mentor, Minato. Now wasn’t the time for regrets. Civilians and soldiers alike gave him a wide berth as he walked through the halls of the space station. Konoha was one of the largest stations in the galaxy and the pride and joy of the Daimyo. It orbited the planet of Fire and was home to a large section of Fire’s shinobi. There were several civilian sections as well, those critical to helping run the station.

His first step was finding this Iruka Umino and finding out how a chunin got saddled with the problem child. The guards at the sector entrance didn’t even stop him. It helped that he was well known in Konoha. The large scar that bisected his eye and silver hair made him easily recognizable. He stopped at the first computer he came across and typed in the chunin’s name, scanning his chip to gain access to the man’s location on the station. He frowned when it directed him to a classroom. He double checked the directions and confirmed the chunin was supposed to be there.

It was late enough in the day that there were no children in the room when he entered. He found a dark-haired man slumped over the desk grading what looked like schoolwork. “Iruka Umino?” He looked up at Kakashi, a bit startled. A scar cut across his tanned face, adding a roguish element to an otherwise plain looking face. He was cute with his hair pulled out of his face, not that Kakashi had taken note of that. He was wearing a standard uniform for a chunin, but he filled it out well. Kakashi shook himself, reminding himself he wasn’t here to check the man out. “I’m Kakashi Hatake. I’m here to talk to you about the incident involving Naruto Uzumaki.”

Far, Far Away (inspired by the Mandalorian):

The cantina feel silent as he entered, but that was common. Half of the so called customers were probably in someones’ bingo book, which meant the sight of his armor and mask was enough to bring their focus entirely on him. His fingers ached to touch his blaster, an old habit that he found soothing, but he’d better not risk it with this crowd. They looked trigger happy. His current bounty wasn’t any of them so he ignored them, other than to assess them for threats. No, he had his eyes set on one Iruka Umino, barkeep of this particular shit hole. He recognized him immediately by the scar that bisected his face. This job was too easy.

He could feel the gaze of everyone in the cantina as he slowly made his way to his target. Instead of engaging him outright, he took a seat at the bar. The tension in the room immediately became more relaxed as it became clear he wasn’t there to fight, not yet at least. Iruka made his way over to him, face full of forced cheer. “What can I get you?” He asked with a smile. Wolf could see the fear behind that smile, but his voice had been steady. His face was too open, too easy to read, but he had guts enough to speak directly to him. Interesting.

“Information,” he said simply.

Iruka laughed. “Well, I don’t know what information you think you’re going to get out here, ANBU, but I can tell you what I know. For a price of course.” Everyone had their price. It was a lesson Wolf had learn far too well over the years.

“Just trying to track down some parts to fix my ship. Figured this was the best place to start asking around.” It was a plausible enough cover story. His ship was older and constantly in need of repairs. If you broke down in a backwater place like this, parts would be hard to come by.

“You’re in luck then. We had one place that you might be able to scavenge a few things from. It’s mostly scraps, so hopefully you can scrap together what you need. If you need something more, you’re going to have to head into the main city. You can rent a speeder, get there in a few hours.” The man sounded like he genuinely wanted to help, which was perplexing. The kind man in front of him did not match the information he’d been given. Maybe he had a better poker face then he’d first assumed.

Wolf slid a handful of credits across the bar. “Think you can take me there once you get off?”

Iruka leaned across the bar, getting far closer than most dared to. “Depends, you going to help me with that?” Help him with what? He wondered before realizing his choice of words. So he wanted to flirt, eh? Not the first to get off on the thought of being with an ANBU.

“Depends. Is that extra?” The words left his mouth before he could second guess himself. He wasn’t much of a flirter, but his efforts paid off when the man laughed.

“You can’t afford me, ANBU.”

“Call me Wolf.”

Safety First:

Kakashi almost hated going back home because it was always more of a headache than it was worth. Admiral Sarutobi had ordered him back for a debriefing after his latest incident with Sand. There had been a lot of run ins with them over the last six months as they had stepped up border surveillance. Their Admiral had been acting oddly for months and the higher ups were worried something was going on. Sand had few livable planets in their system, but their access to rare materials made them important enough to be a part of the Galactic Alliance. Though the GA was more or less worthless in Kakashi’s eyes since it wasn’t a true alliance and had done little to stop the last few wars.

His vessel was refueling which gave him just enough time to stop by his favorite bookstore and grab a bite to eat. As much as he loved Konoha, he ached to be off world. Too many memories here. He pushed aside his dark thoughts and focused on his excitement about finally picking up Jiraiya's newest book. He was already a decent way into the book by the time he headed back to the hangar where Konoha’s Pride was docked. Refueling should be done which meant he could leave within the next hour. Since it was just a quick stop, his crew had mostly opted to stay onboard.

His cheery mood lasted until he saw Anko waiting for him with a man he only vaguely recognized, surrounded by several bags. She used to be a good field agent and probably would have made captain if she hadn’t taken on a desk job. They were friendly enough, but she looked like she was here in a professional capacity. Anko worked in the Tower which meant he as much as he’d hoped he’d be able to leave without further bureaucracy, she was most likely coming to add more crap to his plate.

“Captain Hatake, it’s been a while.” Anko grinned at him as he approached. He wished he could share her enthusiasm. “I tried to catch you before you left, but you really booked at after your meeting with Admiral Sarutobi.” He shrugged rather than responding to her. Maybe if he didn’t add anything she would get to the point faster. “Right, well, I wanted to introduce you to your new CO.” She gestured to the man standing next to her.

“CO?” He asked finally taking stock of the other man. He was younger than Kakashi by a few years, well groomed, and had a very serious look on his face. The only thing of note about him was the scar that bisected his face.

“Compliance Officer. The Admiral should have mentioned you were getting a new crew member. He will be over seeing any safety issues on Konoha’s Pride.” He half recalled the old man mentioning something about some staffing changes. He honestly hadn’t paid much attention to the information.

“No thanks. I don’t need a CO. I decide what happens on my vessel.” He said, dismissively.

“1257. An exploratory vessel, Destiny, was returning from a mission on Gamma 5. The captain received a report that there were some electrical fluctuations. He decided they weren’t a safety issue and the crew entered cryo sleep. The fluctuations caused their alarm system to fail. During this time their oxygen recycling system went down. A secondary alarm system managed to wake the crew, but hypoxia had already set in. The entire crew of 57 died. I could name a dozen more incidents like this, but that won’t be necessary since Konoha's council has deemed it necessary for every vessel to have a CO, even military vessels. So you really have no say in the matter, Captain Hatake.” The man was smiling, but there was a hardness behind his words.

Kakashi tried to stare him down, but he didn’t even flinch. Maybe he has dismissed the man too quickly before. “I will be speaking to the Admiral about this.”

“Please send my regards to Admiral Sarutobi. I’ll be boarding now, if that’s fine with you, Captain.” He was still utterly polite, but Kakashi felt like he’d just been told to fuck off.

These are still in the works as I am trying to finish up some of my older stuff, but I just wanted to share some of what I’ve been working on. 

[bug-the-chicken-nug]

not sure about the temperature of this take, but rasengan is honestly real boring and honestly kishimoto tried too hard to make it ‘special’. like right out the gate you get ‘oooo but naruto it’s the FOURTH HOKAGE’S speshul technique’ to not only hype naruto’s motivation up but like. immediately try to force the audience to feel more emotionally invested too. like it especially kills me when people are talking it up big as “ultimate expression of shape transformation” like..... it ain’t that deep. i’m not that impressed.  i saw the training arc but i’m just Not That Impressed, all that effort seemed really excessive just to try and justify how A Ball is so strong, somehow took three years to invent, and deserves to be spammed in every fight from then on. you really forced A Compressed Spinny Ball to be this powerful and special?  really? when the mc STARTS OUT learning how to somehow perfectly make shittons of shadow clones after like a few hours of practice by himself?  i get that they explain he wastes a lot of chakra when he does the clones but why is that the only other consequence to him when other shit is Sooo Hard, apparently?  like his shitty control somehow doesn’t affect the quality of those at all? and then you have to culminate the proof of how “special” Spinny Snooze Ball is in its introductory arc by forcing a dumb situation where your twelve year old’s gotta save a fucking SANNIN from some deeply annoying twenty year old nerd-bully who still manages to have too much plot armor despite losing this fight.  god. not to mention how i feel like nature transformation is only even so “hard” in the first place meta-wise because kishimoto probably realized it wasn’t a good look to wait until a good bit into shippuden to finally be like “oh damn i never bothered to like, Explain how nature transformations work beyond the fact that they Exist” so he had to make it over-the-top difficult and say The Ball is “incomplete” to force you to accept “oh, it made sense to wait this long, and Naruto is so cool and special for making this same Snooze Ball but with wind in it now, even though making a self-damaging kill technique when his actual main goal is bringing Sasuke back alive and without permanent injury seems really counter-intuitive, actually” like if all you have to do to find out what the nature is is apply a tiny bit of chakra to special paper then why doesn’t everyone learn about natures and shit in the academy?  why have them rely on their families and connections to learn such a huge variety of other shit, even beyond just the obvious things like their own clan’s techniques, creating a bunch of obvious inequalities right off the bat? why do we need tedious bullshit like how it apparently takes a normal person six months Just to learn how to split a single leaf with wind chakra? why is jiraiya such a hack that naruto’s only new technique beyond generally improved fighting capability after the timeskip is to just Make The Boring Ball But Bigger? like, sasuke learned the fireball in like a week with his dad only giving him like a basic explanation of it one time so even without the excessive six months crap, you wouldn’t really have to lose out on sasuke still being considered a genius if we just say that with persistent hard work and an actual good teacher, genin can usually learn one of the simpler elemental jutsu in their affinity after like a month or two, which still gives a sense of challenge but is less ridiculous already.

[louiserandom]

old friends and new companions

for: @greeneyedtrickster :3 the formatting for the ask reply got wonky so i’m reposting it like this :D Hope you like it :3

Rating: T

Pairing: Jiraiya/Tsunade

Summary: Jiraiya is reckless and a bit of an idiot.

Orochimaru, too, is reckless but by no means lacks intelligence.

Tsunade is just done. So done.

A/N: alternatively, the latest of the Bizarre Adventures of the Legendary Sannin :D I took so many creative liberties in this lol and I hope it turned out fine. Enjoy!

Read on AO3 or under the cut :3

“Care to explain why you didn’t wait for backup like we told you to?” Tsunade demands, bandaging the worst of Jiraiya’s wounds perhaps a little too harshly.

“He’s an idiot,” Orochimaru replies helpfully from where he’s lounging on the other side of the cave.

“Hey!”

“I know.” Tsunade sighs, iryo chakra pooling out of her hands onto Jiraiya’s other injuries.

“I’d have liked to see you face off against that monster, dumbass!” Jiraiya growls, trying to sit up from his makeshift sickbed, a deathbed not two minutes earlier, but Tsunade forcefully restrains him, hitting him lightly over the head for good measure.

“I will,” Orochimaru says sweetly, “and unlike some people, I’m not going to behave like a suicidal moron.”

Jiraiya huffs but holds back his explosive retort, conceding the fairly good point. Perhaps facing off a giant disgruntled leech with a Noh mask wasn’t the best idea when he was wounded and stranded in the outskirts of Sky Country.

“I knew you’d still be busy with that platoon and I was tired of lying in wait,” he grumbles his admittedly poor excuse, “and that creepy guy controlling that monster was right there! So I thought, why not? Two birds, one kunai.”

“Did you actually attack with just the one kunai?” Orochimaru asks, eyeing the many, many wounds Jiraiya is sporting.

Orochimaru dodges the shuriken his friend flings his way, smirking when Tsunade gives Jiraiya her signature glare, making him wilt. Both of them know too well the pain that befalls those who don’t heed Tsunade’s first warning before she gets annoyed enough to inflict punishment.

“Anyway,” Jiraiya says with a put-upon sigh, “the man’s dead. The beast is wounded but I have no idea how fast it heals. So that’s still half the job done for us.”

“Yes, us,” Tsunade says firmly. “We’ll face whatever that thing is together,” she emphasizes the word with a meaningful look at Orochimaru, “so I don’t have to bring anyone back from the brink of death again. That seriously pisses me off.”

Orochimaru blinks, feigning innocence. “What? Why are you looking at me?”

“Maybe I’m well aware I’m the only one on our team with an actual self-preservation instinct.”

“Questionable. But even if that’s true, I at least have more than a modicum of intelligence… unlike some people.”

And now it’s Orochimaru’s turn to withstand Tsunade’s death threat of a glare. As well as an unnecessarily complicated set of rude gestures from Jiraiya, presumably depicting the physical harm he plans to inflict on Orochimaru once he’s completely healed.  

Orochimaru rolls his eyes and presses his palm to his chest. “Fine. I promise not to go out to kill the monster by myself.”

Tsunade eyes him suspiciously, wondering if she should make him solemnly swear by his experiments. But, she supposes, there’s probably nothing in existence that Orochimaru holds sacred, so she simply nods and sends a quick prayer to the gods for patience, if nothing else.

She returns to the task at hand, touching up and cleaning the last of the injuries, now healed enough to become yet another set of scars adorning Jiraiya’s arms and chest, some of them crawling dangerously close to his heart. She takes a deep breath to calm herself, finally out of the sickening mental loop of fearing yet another loved one’s death. Jiraiya’s usual quips and one-liners help lighten the mood as she works, but just to be contrary, Tsunade doesn’t give him the courtesy of a smile.

“Here.” She cuts off Jiraiya’s ramblings that were just on the verge of straying into the perverted territory, offering him the medicine he so abhors taking. Predictably, his face twists in a grimace and he tries his best to keep himself from pouting, with little success. “Just a couple of hours of sleep, and your chakra will be replenished. Drink up.”

Jiraiya crosses his arms. “It tastes sour.”

“Oh?” Tsunade raises an eyebrow. “You know what else will taste sour? The disgusting, humiliating taste of defeat if you decide to do this the long way and we end up wasting so much time that the monster gets away from us. Again.”

Another fair point, Jiraiya supposes, but that doesn’t mean he has to be happy about it.

“Do I get a kiss from the beautiful lady for my heroism despite the many trials and tribulations?” he asks, waggling his eyebrows. “And what’s my grand prize once we get home victorious?”

Tsunade rolls her eyes. “The prize of one kiss, knucklehead, will be bestowed upon your brow only once you’ve proved you’ve learned your lesson.”

“Oh, come on!” Jiraiya whines, ignoring Orochimaru’s unnecessarily dramatic sigh as he promptly leaves the cavern muttering something about ‘keeping it the fucking bedroom.’

“You knew the consequences.”

“I didn’t! Tsuna, look, I underestimated the wound I got from the battle up north, yeah, fine—but if not for that, I would have won!”

“And once you see the lack of logic in that statement,” Tsunade says with a derisive look that’s very much uncalled for, “I’ll see about that kiss.”

“And the victory sex?” Jiraiya says, because being a little shit never fails to make Tsunade smile.

He’s not wrong. It’s a beautiful smile, despite the exasperation on her face. Her shoulders have finally relaxed, and her hands have stopped shaking, and that’s all Jiraiya needs for now.

“Stop bringing up sex to annoy Orochimaru,” Tsunade cuts the fun short. “And drink.”

Not masking his displeasure, Jiraiya downs the disgusting potion in one go, and instantly feels the familiar, debilitating drowsiness settling in. He groans. The world dulls, then sinks as he flops onto his back, everything blurring into a mesh of colorful blobs. He can only just make out Tsunade standing up from where she was kneeling in front of him to go somewhere out of sight—which is unacceptable, really.

“Hey,” Jiraiya tries, willing his eyes to stay open, “wait, don’t leave…”

“I’m not leaving, silly.”

Warm arms cradle his head and Jiraiya suddenly finds himself lying on Tsunade’s lap, her presence soft and comfortable, radiating warm, lively, calming energy he’s grown to love so, so much.

“Tell me again,” he whispers, snuggling up to her.

“I’m right here.” Jiraiya isn’t sure whether it’s his imagination or not when he feels the faint press of warm lips against his forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Mm,” he protests, “not what I wanna hear.”

A chuckle. A playful nudge. Jiraiya’s sure he’s grinning like an idiot, what with his eyes closed and his muscles relaxing steadily with each second.

“Maybe I’d like to hear it from you first,” Tsunade says.

“Hm. You know I love you,” Jiraiya says, barely holding on to consciousness as the dreamless chemical-induced sleep fights to drag him under.

“Well.” Another dream-like kiss, to his lips this time. “You know I love you too.”

It’s the last thing Jiraiya hears before he sleeps.

He awakens to the dawn light grazing his eyelids and gasps for breath as the adrenaline from that weird fucking potion rushes through his veins, making his heart beat at twice its normal rate.

Ugh, he thinks, at least my chakra’s back to normal.

Jiraiya sits up, stretching his arms and relaxing the muscles that yearn to hit something, happy to see all his injuries completely healed—thanks to the genius lying beside him.

He smiles as he watches Tsunade, completely relaxed for once, sleeping on her side with her hair undone and a slight smile curling her lips. This despite her own injuries that Jiraiya only now notices she didn’t bother to heal; minor cuts and bruises that she always dismisses because she cares too much about her best friend and lover to notice her own pains. And despite the battle-worn clothes, streaked with blood and grime, and singed in some places because apparently the Sky shinobi she and Orochimaru fought were uncannily skilled in Fire Release—bathed in the burgeoning sunlight, she looks beautiful.

He wishes sorely that he didn’t have to wake her up. But a few minutes is all they should be able to spare at this point.

“Oi, snake boy,” he calls to where Orochimaru is sitting near the entrance.

“Call me that one more time,” Orochimaru says, turning around to glare at him, “and I’ll feed you to one of my summons.”

“Yeah, yeah, same threat, different decade,” Jiraiya says, standing up and looking for the storage scroll with his change of clothes. “You ready to tackle that monster thing? You have that seal for tracking it down, right?”

“One you didn’t need apparently, because of your dumb luck,” Orochimaru says, tone tinged with irritation. “But actually,” he announces, standing up to face Jiraiya, “we’re not going anywhere.”

“Huh?”

Jiraiya tenses once the Shadow Clone before him dissipates and the real Orochimaru (hopefully) shunshins near the entrance.

“You left a clone to keep guard, you dumbass? What if—what if it…” It’s then that Jiraiya notices what—or who, he really is uncertain at this point—Orochimaru is holding in his arms. “Orochimaru, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!”

The scream has Tsunade awake and already forming hand signs before she realizes there’s no intruder.

Well.

Technically.

And Orochimaru, the bastard, acts like there’s nothing out of the ordinary.

“I would very much like both of you to calm—"

“Why the fuck do you have that monster in your arms, you godsdamned idiot?”

“Orochimaru,” Tsunade growls, angry enough that her chakra starts glowing, crackling in the air around her. “What, exactly, did you do that I explicitly asked you not to do?”

“I broke no promises, Tsunade, as I did not go out to try to kill the ‘monster’,” Orochimaru emphasizes the word with a pet of said monster’s head. Because Jiraiya’s pretty fucking sure that’s a miniature version of the slug-snake thing with the Noh mask he’d fought cuddling into Orochimaru’s hold like it wants to be there. “See, we never thought about befriending him. Talking him out of being Sky Country’s glorified weapon and letting him be an honorable asset for our village.”

“Asset?” Tsunade can feel the onset of one hell of a migraine.

“Him?” Jiraiya asks weakly.

“Yes.” Orochimaru smiles. “This is Zero-Tails. He hasn’t chosen a name for himself yet, but since I’ve officially adopted him, we’ll get to that shortly. Isn’t that right?” he all but coos over his new pet.

“Yes, master,” Zero-Tails answers, its mask shifting into an expression of pure innocence.

Its—his—voice is deep and far too evil sounding in Jiraiya’s opinion, and he will not fall for the innocent act, but for all his indignation, all he can manage is,

“Master?” Jiraiya is fairly sure he’s going to lose his mind with a best friend like his. “Orochimaru, why?”

Tsunade snarls and kicks the wall of the cave, making a big chunk of rock fall off and the whole part of the mountain they’re nestled in trembles dangerously.

“I need Grandpa’s fucking moonshine to deal with this,” she seethes, and Jiraiya couldn’t agree more.

Orochimaru simply keeps smiling and says, “Of course! We need to have a house-warming celebration for our new companion after all.”