#Jason the egg

[optimisticnuttragedy]

My first picture used a lot of special effects.

[mysterycitrus]

lbr he doesnt stand a chance against a real clownoisseur

[prlssprfctn]

Imagine, if instead of making Red Hood a crime lord and then vigilante, Jason pursues a singing career. And not just as a regular singer, but someone like Kendrick Lamar, with story-telling songs where he roasts famous people (Batman included) and does the whole theatre play, when he performs on the scene?

Jason, pulling up on the scene in Look What You Made Me Do music video style (aka, by getting out of his own grave): Sorry, the old Red Hood can't answer on the phone right no-ow! Why? Oh, because he is dead! Batfamily, stumbling across the livestream of the concert during their family dinner: 0_0

Jason: Say, Batman, you like your wards as soldiers the most? Bruce, not knowing if he should be happy, mad or just silently suffer through the stroke: ...

Tim, ranting, very excited: So, I tried to analyse his latest performance, and did you know that the beat drop in his latest song matches the exact amount of time Joker hit him with the crowbar??? Dick, sniffling: Yeah? Tim: Yeah! That's so cool! And I checked another performance of his, and the cigarette he throws in the pile and that causes a fake explosion, it is the same mark that his bio mom smoked! Tim: And, oh, so cool, but he rhymed the- Bruce, with his eye twitching: Tim. Can you. Not.

Bruce, half-delirious in the row of Jason's fans on his autograph session: Jason, please, let's go home. Jason, blowing a bubblegum: You want an autograph, mister Wayne? Sure... From Red Hood to the most okayish dad in the world. Muah. Here you go. Bruce: Jason- Teenage girls, shoving Bruce on the back: MAN, COME ON, DO YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THIRTY MINUTES?? WE WERE STANDING HERE FOR SIX HOURS!!! Jason, feigning a fake disappointment: Ah, you heard them, mister Wayne. Next one! Bruce: ...

[bastadr]

ONE EGG(S)

[ailithnight]

DPxDC Prompt #10

Danny; baby Ancient of Space, Ward of Time, Infinite Prince, Dream Coda; as if he wasn't OP enough, has begun having prophetic dreams.

Sometimes they're about imminent deaths, sometimes it's deep secrets never intended to see the light of day, sometimes it's spoilers to various popular media, and a lot of times just random crap like 'it's gonna start raining at 2:23pm' or 'there will be a friendly cat on the way to school.'

Fortunately for Danny, he doesn't really remember most of his dreams. He just carries on with his life as usual and possibly doesn't even know these dreams are happening. He doesn't have to deal with the normal trauma or anxiety most prophets live with.

Unfortunately for the people around him, he's prone to sleep walking and sleep talking.

It's more than a little unnerving when you wake up in the middle of the night and your newest brother is just there. You didn't hear him come in. Which should be impossible, and yet he did it literally in his sleep. He says "He doesn't have enough eggs for pancakes." Then faceplants into your bed to return to deep slumber.

[littlefishies575]

Robin egg :V

(now with the inspiration!)

[raps-hellion]

demigods who know how to cook:

leo — he and esperanza valdez would've cooked together. besides, his life in foster care was rough and he had to fend for himself, so learning to cook was a necessity.

frank — he had to look after his grandmother, and he seems like the type who can fold an impeccable shrimp dumpling.

hazel — she and marie levesque could've cooked together, though hazel had to rely more and more on herself as marie grew more distant.

annabeth — she seems like she would've taken up cooking as a practicality/means to survive, especially since she ran away from home at such a young age.

demigods who don't know how to cook:

jason — he was raised by wolves. enough said.

percy — he knows about as much as an average teenager who's been raised by a loving parent. probably can make pasta and blue pancakes, but that's it. wouldn't be surprised if he tried to microwave an egg.

piper — i think she would've had a housekeeper or a nanny to cook for her when her dad was away (given how well-off and successful tristan mclean is). though she seems like she'd be the most successful out of these four.

nico — he was stuck in the lotus casino for 70 years, idk if this boy even knows what a microwave is.

[glitter-stained]

The thing you need to remember about comics ages and timelines is that yeah it's messy there are retcons at stuff and it will never be clear and perfect. But also, DC has an interest portraying age the way they do. They have an interest in aging Barbara down so she can be Dick's pretty girlfriend with whom he raises a cute dog (and maybe a cute little family next perhaps?). They have an interest in trying to keep Tim young and draw him younger than he looks so they can milk his Robin's popularity for as long as possible. They have an interest in drawing Jason to make him look 40 when Bruce slits his throat, to make him look like a grown man fighting a teenager when fighting Mia even though they're the same age (though i mantain that mia is a little bit older), in having him call Tim kid even though they're the same age, in having him offer Tim a drink and Tim pointing out he's not legal when Jason isn't either. They have an interest in Jason looking older in Jim Aparo's art style in ADITF than he looked in precrisis or in 308. They have an interest in Steph magically looking older in War Games, where she gets tortured and brutally murdered, than the fun colourful round and much more youthful art from her Robin run. There are probably many more examples but bottom line it's not fucking innocent. DC knows how to hire artists that know how to draw children it's really not that hard. Characters who look young, characters who remind you that they are young, create more empathy; which is good when you want the public to continue to root for them, and bad when those characters challenge the status quo or that excess of empathy might create pushback after you decide to have them brutally murdered. DC can't have Batman grievously wounding and causing the death of his underage son, but if he looks as old as Batman? DC can't have Jason making a valid point about vigilantism being unsafe for Mia and relating with her with childhood sexual abuse subtext because it makes the heroes (and especially Batman) look bad, but if it looks like this is a grown ass man harassing a teenage girl, then it's clear who is the villain, it's okay, no problem. DC needs Barbara to be younger so the power dynamic between her and Dick fits their idea of a perfect little nuclear family much better and they can shove Barbara back into the role of Batgirl even though she is very much a girl rather than a woman. DC needs Steph to look older when she's tortured so they can be edgy without people being too horrified at them doing something horrifying, DC needs Jason and Steph to look older on the day they die because young looking= innocent which makes it so much harder to victim-blame. DC needs Mia to look younger than Jason so they can make it look like the good old "good victim/bad victim" dichotomy and even though that's not what the story is actually about, regardless of how much it disrespects Mia's character to do so. DC needs Jason to look ugly because it's harder to empathize with ugly people and it makes it so much clearer who is the bad guy and who is the good one, and it's a much easier dichotomy, so much more comfortable than challenging the whole mythos around which Batman is built. DC needs Barbara to be sexy in their traditional male-gaze way, because this is the audience they're trying to appeal to.

So like, I know that I'm nit-picking when I say "actually according to any and all logic Jason is younger than Tim by a couple of months and than Mia by around three years". Or when I say "they should bring back Dickbabs' old age difference" or even interact with Dickbabs as if they still have that difference and refuse to interact with Tom Taylor's version of the ship. I know comics are incoherent and the timeline is messy; but just because it's messy, just because it's always been, doesn't mean it's innocent. So I'm gonna keep nitpicking, and I'm gonna stay an annoying bitch, because I refuse to allow comics to manipulate me out of my empathy. And because I don't see everything and am very aware of how easy it is to be manipulated even when you're careful, I encourage you to add to this with things you've noticed whether it's in portrayal or in art about character age, appearance, or any other device they might use to manipulate our perception of the characters -and what narrative these resorts serve.

[darkleysgarden]

Jason's Drawings from Arkham Asylum

[irenica]

do we think the batkids sing the “jingle bells batman smells” thing that every elementary school kid eventually learns to bruce

[puppetmaster13u]

Am I slightly obsessed with dragon AUs? Maybe. Maybe I just really like dragons. So have another prompt.

Danny and Tucker have decided to reincarnate together in an entirely new world. Which isn't a new thing with reincarnation for beings such as them, but honestly they're a little tired of being humans or human-adjacent beings.

But they don't want to just be an animal either. They're Ancients after all, and can afford to be a bit prideful in choosing a form they'll hopefully spend at least another eighteen years in.

The forms they've chosen? Why dragons. It fits their power sets so well, and honestly it's something new for them! And well, Sam would join but it's her turn on the whole council thing since the Realms doesn't exactly have a king anymore.

But they have to make it through the whole... egg thing first. Which on one hand, dragon eggs are practically indestructible and it's free nap time! On the other, they can't exactly defend themselves besides whatever natural magical things might surround them.

Which is why it's so annoying that some assholes decide to steal them. They're literally stuck as eggs for at least a few months more, preferably a bit longer so they can be certain their new bodies are strong enough to hold their true power. Or at least the small fraction living bodies can hold.

And they aren't some gemstones! Honestly these people are also idiots and- oh, hey, someone is attacking the whole smuggling operation thing, thank fuuck... .... Oh hey, fellow undead! Yeah, hey, dude that doesn't feel full of greed and is maybe a bit angry but that's normal, yeah you! Hey get them out of this box! Yeah!

Jason on the other hand, is having a very What the Fuck sort of night right now.

[violent138]

A nefarious, as yet unknown Gotham villain sends a message to the Batcave that the annual Gotham Easter egg hunt contains eggs that are poisonous/explosive. Jason and Dick are annoyed that a city like Gotham even has an Easter Egg hunt, while Damian reports that all his classmates and definitely half the city's children will be scouring the streets for eggs.

"Idiots." He scoffed, shaking his head. "Egg hunting is a massive waste of time."

"Yes, thanks Damian, that's what we need to hear right now." Tim smiled flatly at him, predicting where this was going.

In order to avoid panic due to the unconfirmed possible bombs, the Batfamily splits into teams to go find eggs, check them and return them back to the hiding places if they aren't explosive. The news picks up on it, rather confused to see the Red Robin, Spoiler, Signal, Orphan and Robin at it, but whatever they're kids. And Orphan looks particularly delighted to find eggs before hiding them somewhere better and Signal lights up the eggs a little and charms the kids.

However, Red Hood and Nightwing look a little more ridiculous, especially since Batman decided to scour the city for the villain instead of the eggs.

"No because he'a a [Censored] coward." Red Hood grumbles to a reporter when asked if Batman will also be participating.

"Oh look I found another one." Nightwing reported excitedly in the same broadcast and Red Hood immediately goes over, both of them examining it.

The side effect of them being out is that more kids decide to look for eggs. There's a mild panic and Steph questions the logic of not telling people the eggs are maybe bombs.

The day comes to a nail-biting end with zero maiming and Alfred reveals it was him and that he threw a pretty extravagant dinner to reward them for their hunting.

Bruce snickers at the look on the kids' faces.

[ghostofthephantomzone]

Scenario / Au based on ‘Robin’s Egg’ on ao3

Link to fic (not mine): https://archiveofourown.org/works/40364214/chapters/101109468

Imagine a scenario like robins Egg but if the bat family were in the know.

For those who don't know, Robins Egg is a fanfic where Damian finds Danny bleeding out in an Ally and tells Damian to hide him as he turns into his Core, only Robin instead looks after him like an egg.

I know, very cute.

Anyway, the point is, in the fic Damina is the only one who knows that danny’s Core isn't just a shiny rock.

But imagine if they did, and they knew Phantom beforehand. Like, your Vigilante Best friend just had to retreat Into his Core (basically his soul!) and is at his most vulnerable.

There would be doting and embarrassing moments, Jason would probably make a few death jokes with it, acting like Danny was talking back and only he could hear it just to fuck with the others.

[discobirdy]

Nightwing shenanigans from twt + Jay wip ...

[spocks-husband]

I'm reading DC Christmas Comics (exposure therapy recommended by my doctor lmao) and unfortunately It's A Criminal Life is actually the funniest fucking thing I've ever read so. Basically if you're not familiar, it's part of this year's Christmas special release (one of them anyways) and involves Joker getting It's A Wonderful Lifed by Jaybin. And when they're in the alternate world where Joker doesn't exist this happens. And I've been cackling for way too long.

[ghost-bxrd]

Is Jason struggling hard trying to deal with envy that Tim has taken his family, his place in the court, his dragon? Of course, but at the end of the day Tim never owed Jason’s memory any respect or loyalty. But the egg he stayed up late whispering his hopes and notions of friendship and happiness and protection, patient and gentle for years, despite everyone telling him it was a lost cause. His egg –now a dragon– has forsaken the only person to dedicate themself wholeheartedly to its safekeeping. So Jason might eventually get to a point of understanding and tolerance with Tim but the little dragon must have felt him off in the distance and given up on him. It is the only way the pieces fit together. How can Jason accept that? He never faltered in his belief in his egg but as soon as he seemed weak it discarded him for someone easier to love.

It certainly seems that way to Jason, yeah :/

(Jason has no way of knowing that Robin hatched only a few weeks after his perceived death, and that the little dragon was inconsolable for many months to the point of near starvation, and that Dick and Bruce were so wrung out about Robin’s impending loss that Tim snuck into the dragon caves to try and coax the baby dragon to eat something, and that Robin didn’t just latch onto the first best person he saw, no, Robin felt that Tim came the closest to Jason’s kindness and uplifting spirits for the first time in months….)