#Jackson is likely to be the literal son of some John

[coquettemouse]

Did you know that Percy and Piper's last names technically mean the same thing?

Jackson means means "son of (probably) John"

McLean is a (anglicized) scottish name which means "son (servant) of John" (John the Baptist)

[riahreadz]

Random post but here we are in my statistics class avoiding paying attention so let's get to the point.

My favorite tropes, micro-tropes, minor details, etc. in Teen Wolf fics, listed cause why not:

Stiles doing everything in his power to protect the Hales. Spark or not, the Hales are his family, and he'll either die protecting them or kill anyone in sight that threatens them.

I'm all for angst - angstier, the better, okay? So when there's some big bad that has to do with fire, or just some random flame and Stiles noticing Derek and Peter's becoming nervous around it? Or his strong need to protect them from anything to do with fire. It's chefs' kiss 🤌🏼

Despite loving angst, I NEED a HAPPY ending. Because of this I always read the last paragraph/sentence/scene to make sure it's happy and only read finished fics. It works okay?

Peter hates everyone but Stiles. He's actually quite weak for the human/spark. Stiles knows he can get away with just about anything because he's got Peter wrapped around his finger.

Stiles being the only person to know where Peter's home/den is.

Peter, being just so soft with Stiles, warms my heart. Obviously, Peter is bad, but make it make sense for him to be bad. And the best way to do this? Protecting what's his - Stiles, his den, his pack.

The endless nicknames. Like I get some of these come from the show, but I'm talking about the dramatic usage of them. Zombiewolf, Creeperwolf, Sourwolf, Red, etc.

Stiles obsession with Derek's eyebrows and his ability to interpret them!

When a fic expresses Peter, being touched starved gets me every time. The angst! And how it's always Stiles to the rescue and noticing this.

The thin line between love and hate, enemies and friends/lovers/mates between Chris and Peter. The build up to them as teens, blow out break up cause of the family dynamics or the fire and Chris leaving to protect coma Peter! bonus if Chris leaves a letter or some type of communication for Peter for when he wakes and then coming together to defeat the Argents once and for all, or just simply living out the rest of their life in peace finally together.

When Peter and Chris are together romantically and as pack Alpha/Alpha Mate and are raising Allison and Malia together. Like idc what age the girls are at, but they're sisters. Peter is Allison's dad, Chris is Malia's dad.

Stiles/Peter/Chris and honestly they fit into any micro/trope I mention about Peter/Chris.

Stiles figuring out how to go back in time to save Allison

The pack bonds between Stiles, Erica and Boyd.

The brother/sister love between Derek and Erica.

The deep sighs Derek and Boyd share when they act to be put off by their mates Stiles and Erica but in reality are so in love with them that they just find every little thing their mates do as cute.

The absolute beautiful friendship between Stiles and Lydia.

Bad friend/bad alpha Scott

Sheriff Stilinski (Noah or John?) realizing his son's love and connections to the Hales - bonus points if he sees it before Stiles realizes he's in love with Derek or Peter. And just accepting it, whether he puts rules in place or not.

I even enjoy seeing some Malia and Jackson are actually twins reuniting as siblings and Peter as their dad.

I didn't know I'd enjoy this one, but Sheriff Stilinski and Jordan 🤨 never really cared for Jordan but I'm on board with this ship.

And on that note - Malia and Kira but as a side ship. Don't really care to read them as a main ship.

Issac having attachment/dependency issues with Derek. Straddling the edge of brothers or even Derek sorta being a father figure.

Stiles straddling his love interest - Derek, Peter, or Chris. Literally has me squealing every. damn. time.

Murder husbands Stiles and Peter.

Derek or Peter and Stiles leaving Beacon Hell. Bonus points if they gather the pack along the move.

The ideal pack depends on who Stiles is with especially when it comes to dynamics (I've rewritten this point so many times but need more than a bullet point to describe this so it'll be another post that I'll connect to this post eventually. )

Peter taking care of Stiles after the nogitsune. At any level. Literally could be just being someone for Stiles to talk to or hang out around cause he knows Peter isn't judging or having to physically care for Stiles cause he's dissociating.

Stiles and Jackson forming a bond over their shared trauma of being controlled by the nogitsune/kanima

I love the idea of Peter wisking Stiles away from Beacon Hills rather to heal or permanently.

But I love it when Stiles stumbles or intentionally finds Derek outside Beacon Hills.

Neck scenting 🤝 neck biting

I love a good magical Stiles and Peter being proud/impressed

I loveeeeeee when Stiles calls Peter his Alpha and Peter's eyes flash cause he just can't control himself 100% around his boy + or cause he never thought he'd have this Alpha power, Stiles, a home, a Pack

The easy banter between Stiles and Peter

But the silent communication between Derek and Stiles - cause od the eyebrows obviously- or just cause they can read each other so well

Stiles standing up to Scott for Derek due to the Gerald instance of having Derek bite him

Or Stiles standing up and defending Peter or Derek against Scott

Teen Wolf Movie fix it - Derek doesn't die or he does and Stiles brings him back

Stiles. Is. Eli's. Dad. In every way that matters. Rather that's biological or not. Mpreg, adoption, etc. Doesn't matter. Eli is Derek and Stiles's son.

Peter taking care of the Sherrif to please Stiles rather than taking him healthy food, eating lunch with him, etc. Bonus if it starts during the healing from Nogitsune when Stiles can't quite get back to feeling normal again.

Window creeping. Derek or Peter starting the sneaking in and out of Stiles window that eventually turns into anyone from the pack.

Derek or Peter healing Stiles, physically bandaging him up and/or using their wolfy mojo black vein pain stealing thing

JUST ONE BED 😱

Slow burn enemies to lovers. This works for both Steter and Sterek. Even Stetopher.

Mate bite placement theory ✨️

I think that's it for now. I'll probably add more and more eventually or as I read even more fics 🤣 idk why I even wrote this all us but okayy.

Eventually imma write up ideal packs and dynamics from the perspective of Alpha Derek or Peter, given Steter, Sterek, and Stetopher. And specific tropes/micro given which ship.

Comment some of your favs! I need more ideas lol

[themotherofhorses]

Hi guys, it's Vic! Also known as:

Round TWO at addressing the extreme racism in the CoD fandom!

So it’s both odd and funny that my Indigenous fem!OC has pissed off so many random people, especially with the fact that I created her to ship with Ghost.

(A fictional character that has NO canon love interest, FYI. Sorry to bust y'all's little bubble. Well, there's Mara and Urban Tracker....)

Anyways, I really don't care if this post sounds bitchy in nature. I really don't, not anymore. Some of y'all need a damn wakeup call. Several months ago, in December of 2023, I made a post (here) regarding the sudden influx of hate I began receiving following the posting of my OC, SilentDove Reyes. For around two weeks after that post, the hate died down, and I felt motivated to create more content involving Dove and Ghost.

Until the hate picked up again with every little thing I posted that related to my OC x Ghost.

However....this new hate incorporated the MMIW. A bold ass move, in my opinion.

If you are not aware, the MMIW stands for "Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women." Alternate spellings include the MMIWG & MMIWGTS (Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women, Girls, and Two-Spirits). As of 2023, statistics indicate that Indigenous women face a 10x murder rate than any other race/ethnicity. I have made a previous post regarding the issue, seen here. The unfortunate truth is that young Indigenous girls are more likely to be SA'd and murdered than to attend college. Let that sink in for a moment.

Now, I am an Indigenous woman. That is no surprise there; I fashioned my OC to provide myself (and, by extension, others) with Native representation in a franchise I greatly enjoy. What IS surprising, however, is that me doing so has pissed off so many people. I'm very certain some of y'all must descend from Andrew Jackson, or John Wayne cause, christ on a bike driven by a pike.

Here is a screenshot of a hate anon I recently received:

Listen, I don't care who you ship Ghost with. I really don't. I've blocked numerous shipping tags, remained mindful of the content I'm interacting with, and surrounded myself with fellow mutuals who also have personal OCs. It is really that easy.

What I do care about is the fact that some of you CANNOT separate fanon headcanons from canon material.

Exhibit A:

So let’s clear some stuff up!

Soap x Ghost is NOT canon.

Ghost being queer is NOT canon.

And, most definitely, Ghost being a woman abuser who would harm/abuse/murder a woman (either physically, emotionally, psychologically) is NOT canon.

What IS canon is his and Soap's strong bond. In my eyes, that is a brotherly bond, reminding me of a big brother/little brother relationship; in my fanfiction, Soap is Ghost's children's uncle. In fact, his son (second-born child) is named after him.

You are, of course, free to view them as romantic; what you are not free to do is attack OC creators/non-shippers for not perceiving them like that.

That is just fucking weird and delusional behavior. Knock it off. You're giving your fellow normal shippers a bad name.

ALSO! Let’s clear things up!

1. I’m not straight — I’m bisexual and demisexual.

2. I’m only half white (Spanish, with Mexican heritage). I’m QUITE LITERALLY an enrolled Native, so I guess the best way to describe me is “biracial.”

3. It’s y’all ruining the canon gay representation by shipping Laswell—a GAY woman—with Price, despite the fact that she canonically has a wife.

4. My OC does not have a “dumb fucking name.” Her name is an Indigenous name with a specific backstory to it; it’ll be explored further in future fanfics once I find the motivation to return to writing.

Anyways, I highly doubt this will be the last post I create regarding this problem; apparently, a nice chunk of the fandom has this intense animosity towards fem!OCs, fem!Y/Ns, and BIPOC!OC creators. Alright. With that being said, I invite anyone who has similar experiences to share yours, either in the reblogs or in separate posts.

As sometimes we say during pow wows:

“The floor is all yours.”

Thank you!

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 14

Who is this talking to Ringo? Press? A boy scruff? Someone who wants their project produced by Apple? He tries George too.

Again, I love the "freak-out" as John calls it. They really could've had so much fun together under different circumstances. (Different being neither of them ever dated John) But John's so sweet saying, "Id like it to be part of her new LP. Our new LP."

I wonder what Robert Fraser thought of the beard.

Why are we playing 20 Flight Rock now, Paul? It's just overlayed over a montage to change "scenes", but I wonder what the real context was.

Billy. What a little ray of sunshine honestly.

"So what should we do that's fun? Besides work?" I feel like every day, John has a little adorable quote, and this is today's. Words to live by.

I don't remember if Get Back includes the "Oh Darling" version where John's answering back between lines in conversation with the lyrics. I sincerely hope so. Peter Jackson was probably like "well I can only include so much homosexuality before people have too many questions."

Ringo, you smooth criminal. I love that he just has this trick he learned as a teenager that the Beatles were all impressed by, back when Ringo was the scary gangster with the car and the beard, and he still does it for them like ten years later. It's so endearing.

Another cute John and Yoko moment: "It's just that screaming all the way." "Poor John." "Yes, it's so terrible." She's teasing him and being sweet to him at the same time. Cuties.

George asks Paul where his Rickenbacker is. "Isn't that one much better?" And Paul makes up some shit about the Hoffner being lighter. You nostalgic little bitch. Poor baby.

John's little guilty look at the camera when he's almost just taken something on film. It's cute. He looks like a naughty kid. But it's kind of a cool moment. It shows just how relaxed and natural he is. He's not performing for or worried about the cameras at all. What we're seeing of him today is just him. You know? Idk I think it's nice.

What's with the little pigeon noises in the middle of a recording, guys? They're so weird smh

Poor Glyn. He's just trying to do his job and he has to deal with fucking Leopold and Leob over here. He gives them some instruction. There's a look between the two of them. And then it's all, "Don't interrupt" "Hey son" "Stahhs when" "Hey" "they're recording. We're bloody Stahhs you know." "Look fuckface. Don't comment." "The cheek." The impenetrable wall of Lennon and McCartney, folks.

"Well, we'll have to do it sitting down. Or we get too excited." It's heartbreaking to me how obvious it is that they're still just having the absolute time of their lives together and that, as John put it, "the minutes are crumbling away."

Literally what the hell is with Dennis smacking Paul's ass (as like a 'good job, your band wants to put your song out as the single' I guess) and nobody reacting? Linda would've been like "ope, time to find a new head of Apple films." (Dave Spinoza on RAM, anyone?) He really does look so proud of himself, though. Happy for you, baby.

Oh, right, that's what Robert thinks. Paul looks like his working class fantasy. (DH Lawrence. Victorian Miner.)

And I'm just going to add this, since Peter Jackson REFUSES. Paul: Can't afford to mess around here, you know. Then

[topconfessions]

I'd say, that in general, if you stan someone, you should do it with open mind and full awareness. I am that stupid bitch that daydream about marrying her fave and adopting a dog with him and shit on a daily nightly basis (she has no private life whatsoever and it shows lmao) , but I'm 100% mentally prepared to wake up one morning to face some disgusting news about the said fave. Just cause I understand I don't know a thing about that person besides the character that he's built for us to see (especially idols, cause we all know what the industry and k-fans are expecting from them, personality wise). Some idols seems to be more "real", as for example I think Jackson that was mentioned here earlier, guy seems to not give a fuck about the idol-like expectations of him, but still we don't see and don't know what these idols are behind the closed doors.

I mean, stan them but keep in mind that they can fuck you up one day. Don't put too much trust in them.

This is a standard and required life lesson for ALL public figures, celebrities, and historical people or notable criminals etc. Just don't do it, especially if you're living a very regular lifestyle and know you don't remotely come close to your faves type or can manuver your way into their circles finanically and connections wise. I have a life long undying crush on a celebrity who is an old man now but with him I kinda always had the same outlook that if I woke up and found out something terrible (he has a bad scandal over his head with the way he fathered his youngest son and everyone clowns him for it ) I would still love him and I kinda still do. Sadly hes just out of reach. I think if I went about my life differently and didn't have the challenges that I did, I would've met him at least 2-3 times if I really tried. It'll be the biggest regret of my life not meeting him in my late teens or 20s when he was a bit younger and I was in better shape lol I'm fat and tired not caring what others think so its too late now lmao.

And listen, I used to look at John cena that way, wwe wrestler. Literally every night he was the love of my life lmfao. I think I could've slept with him if, again, I had the freedom, money and resources to meet him back in the day lmaooo. *sigh* most of my crushes are obsecure or tend to be out of reach.

Me personally, now that I'm 30, I truly don't have celeb or public figure crushes anymore. I'm just cery realistic about the fact you need money, a social media following, you need to expose yourself via being on social media and following the IG model ratio or be well connected already and do the process of stalking to meet them. I don't have it in me for that.

I like zac Efron too but he reminds me of my dad too much, same personality, struggles, overly good looking etc it just wouldn't go the distance plus hes a midget compared to me lmao. I will say i wish more celebs american or asian were like him. He is the MOST approachable and humble guy where you could look like a foot in the face but if you're chill, kind and not hideous at least he'll date you or entertain you lmao. Thats the only guy I would've overly invest in lusting after because he's an easy lick. But he's hard to meet. Very much time and place kinda luck lime top.

I loved top the way you did like I thought he was my dream man lmfao but even then I was honest with myself and could tell that his personality was just not it for me realistically but I grew up and realized the sophisticated TOP was my crush. Top shook me the most. I would've never wasted my time on him had I known everything that happened to him and with him would've happened.

But yes. Don't become delusional and see them as perfect cause they're not.

[msclaritea]

"Looking back, I’ve been researching this UFO crew since at least 2007, very directly. UFO cultist Steven Greer met his wife Emily in Israel studying with meditation guru Maharishi. This is all tied to David Lynch and the related transcendental meditation (TM) groups. 🧵

This relevant now because his UFO cultist cohort Dennis Kucinich is now managing RFK Jr’s presidential campaign. Kucinich ran for POTUS in 2007 on a UFO platform based out of none other than… Sheldon Adelson’s Las Vegas, NV.

John Hagelin runs the Maharishi meditation organization out of LA. Hagelin "is a theoretical physicist who ran for the U.S. presidency three times on the Maharishi-backed Natural Law Party" (1992, 1996, 2000).”

In 2000 race he was backed by the Perot faction and disrupted Pat Buchanon. In 2004 he handed the ropes over and endorsed Kucinich.

This same culty, meditation, UFO crew has been trying to run for POTUS for nearly 20 years. It continues through today with RFK Jr.

Is it a coincidence that people threatening President Biden via his son Hunter, suggesting he is “stealing the election” per a hooker they know? I don’t think it is at all. This group is assaulting the US democracy and the integrity of the office of the President.

I think they’ve been storming the US Presidential position since the fall of the Soviet Union, using propaganda, cults, misinformation, and sadly via trying to compromise the sons of US presidents from JFK to Hunter Biden.

Maharishi seems like Indian intelligence. A lot of these 1970s new age space gurus interacted with these “space love sex LSD” guru types for decades. Is it a coincidence that Howard Bloom has worked with Modhi on space initiatives for DECADES?

Is it a coincidence that I know Howard Bloom and that he and Moonie NEWT GINGRICH were advocating for a moon colony during the Trump Admin? Can I sound any… crazier? 🤣 Reality is stranger than any fiction.

Newt Gingrich trying to sell Trump on a cheap moon plan A general, Gingrich and Michael Jackson's publicist are proposing a $2 billion contest to return Americans to the moon.

Why is Jeff Bezos pushing this UFO propaganda with Harvard and the Luis Elizondo guy? See the L5 Society hippy space cult shit. Both Bezos and Newt were part of that since teenagers (I think, find the reference.) L5 Society is connected to Timothy Leary and the usual suspects.

This all looks to me like a BRICS assault on the US Presidency and space industry since literally JFK challenged us to go to the moon. End thread."

Kukral even knew these 🌙 cults would try this. What is it with all of these cults? I'll just take a wild guess the Moonies came from yet another Freemasons group and no surprise that it considers Democracy Satanic. Projection as big as the Empire State building. I can't believe it hasn't occurred to people these objects probably came from some mad scientist and his billionaire backers. That's where we are, now.

[sophieswundergarten]

Alright I know I made a whole impassioned speech about the gorgeous symbolism in Milligan's name and everything last night.

But.

Mr. Stewart. Sir. My good man. Author of one of my favorite series of all time and all around creative genius. As much as I absolutely adore your books.

What was going through your head with your naming system???

Some of them make complete and total sense, and some of them are just odd in the most weirdly intriguing way? I respect the decision on all of them because they fit the characters amazingly (for the most part), but, on occasion??

Therefore, I am going to rank all of the names from the main people in no particular order, according to my own research and slightly goofy reasoning.

S. Q. Pedalian - Exquisite character. But his name is a pun?? And it's an ironic pun, because "sesquipedalian" means to have a lot of syllables or use long words, which S. Q. continually struggles with!!!

7/10 Sad, and a little bit funny, but all in all clever and a really unique name for a sweet boy. Very calm and soft colors and connected to a very curly and gangly word that fits him quite well. I think he would really like using the word that is his namesake, whether he knows it or not.

Constance Contraire - "Constance" is, of course, a name meaning "constant" or "steadfast". "Contraire" is just an actual French word that means "opposite", which is an amazing summarization of her personality.

10/10 Hysterical and one hundred percent accurate, and it is alliterative! Very poetic. The "ire" at the end feels very defiant and Constance-y, not to mention that "Ire" as a word means "anger".

George "Sticky" Washington - "George" means "farmer" or "someone who works the earth", while "Washington" likely means "home of the Wassa people", and can be attributed to a place in England. Now, the very obvious connection is to George Washington the historical figure, who is likely someone Sticky looks up to, and also had a lot of pressure on him, there is something to be said about the metaphorical meanings of "home" and "settling" in conjunction with "farmer" (someone who works hard to grow).

8/10 Not as much fun in the meaning, but still a solid and green/blue cool colored name. It feels like a particularly friendly frog with sticky frog skin.

Kate Wetherall - "Kate" is short for "Katherine", which means "pure" ("Caitlin" is also a form of "Katherine"). I've talked about "Wetherall" being a play on "Weather all", but it is just so spectacular I had to go over it again. There are not a lot of credible sources, and while one mentioned that it might mean "place where wether sheep are kept" (wethers are male castrated sheep), I am much more inclined to think that it is made up, as it makes more sense.

7/10 Still love the way it communicates her independence and how hard she works, and the "pure" part is a nice association to her and Milligan's relationship with water (and the both of them being strong swimmers). Her last name also feels very windmill-y and helter-skelter energetic, like her.

Reynard Muldoon - "Reynard" is from a Germanic name meaning "strong in council", which is beautiful and poetic and just the best name for the one who tends to guide the group and continually falls back on them for reassurance. "Muldoon" is just one of those old Gaelic kind of names that means "descendant of whoever".

9/10 Lovely hidden meaning, and even more so when you consider that the only person to purposefully continue calling him that is Curtain. Really soothing colors, warm browns and more reddy colors, soft like a sweater.

Jackson & Jillson - I don't know their last names, so they get put together. First off, "son" as a name suffix literally means "son of". Some people say "Jack" is a form of "John", meaning "God is gracious", but there are one or two other theories. "Jillson" is a name of dubious realness, as I can't find a lot about it. Some sources (very, very few) say it might mean "Son of Juliana/Gills", but it is highly unclear. "Jill" by itself means "youthful", so the "son" suffix doesn't make much sense there either.

10/10 Even though they don't really make any sense, the "Jack and Jill" theme is evident and they both feel suitably pointy to be executives. Wonderfully silly and yet sharing the facade of trying to be Serious and Official.

Martina Crowe - "Martina" is a name derived from Mars, the Roman god of war, and "Crowe" is to do with the bird, and can be used for someone with black hair. It is also possible that "Crowe" means "hound of destruction", but either way it works with her aggressive and competitive spirit.

10/10 Perfectly fits her, black hair, need to dominate and all. It is a sophisticated sounding name, and comes across as authoritative. It is also prickly, and you can feel the prioritization of winning over social graces.

Milligan - Not really a name, but has the inherent meaning of his promise to take Kate to the "mill again" and is therefore a great name full of the most heartbreaking and incredible symbolism.

∞/10 I can't describe how well this name works in every conceivable way.

Number Two/Pencilla - Despite both of them being hints at her pencil-like appearance, I really like all of the love you can see in "Number Two". Her decision to go by her code name is initially out of her dislike of her legal name, but it is also a reference to her being Mr. Benedict's second in command (and possibly to the fact that she was the second person to join his organization, depending on when Milligan arrived).

10/10 A terrific way to show her commitment to her work, and, in a similar way to Milligan, how her name changes to be what those who love her call her.

Rhonda Kazembe - "Rhonda" can either mean "good spear" or "noisy", depending on who you believe. "Kazembe" is the name of a traditional kingdom in Zambia, from what I could find. This has very little to do with her personality, but it sounds really pretty and is distracting, which I think may have been the point. Similar to her appearance when she was initially introduced to the kids, her name is unusual and draws attention to her (which is why I included "noisy" as a meaning), and it aids in her misdirection.

8/10 Not a lot of symbolic meaning, but I very much love how it sounds, her first name is full of nice round sounds and warm smiles, and her last name reminds me of the fun patterns on her clothes.

Dipika Perumal - "Dipika" means "light", and "Perumal" means "great one". While "Perumal" 's meaning is in reference to a version of the Hindu god Vishnu, in a literal sense it is quite accurate. Miss Perumal is a great light in Reynie's life, and in the lives of the others she meets. She is a guide and a kind but truthful source of advice.

9/10 It sounds like tea being poured into a cup. A lovely name that describes her in an intimately accurate way, as well as her surname being in Tamil.

Nicholas Benedict - "Nicholas" means "victory of the people", and "Benedict" means "the blessed one", both of which are in line with his personality. He is fighting for the people of the world, and while he may not consider himself blessed, he is certainly a blessing and a benevolent figure to others.

9/10 Extremely comforting name, fits him and his intentions amazingly. It has just the right amount of whimsy while still being grounding and secure.

Nathaniel Benedict/Ledroptha Curtain - "Nathaniel" means "gift of God", and with the surname "Benedict", it is easy to see how this applies to him. He definitely believes that he is a blessing, God's gift to the world. "Ledroptha Curtain" is a whole other story. Either it seems to be his real, actual name and some crazy people named him that, or maybe he made it his legal name (the books), or he definitely made it his name, for some weird reason (the show).

5/10 I'm really pleased with whoever made the decision to make his name "Nathaniel" for the show, but I just can't condone the stupid pun that he never uses!! What was he going to use it for?? He basically never interacts with a curtain, especially because his master plan isn't really physical!!

We're including Garrison and Crawlings because I feel like they're sort of each other's counterparts? Seeing as one is show-only and the other is book-only.

Dr. Garrison - "Garrison" can be both a name and a real word, and both mean "fortress" or "stronghold". And while Garrison may be considered a stronghold of secrets, she also hides herself in many strongholds, first on the island and then in the rootcellar.

7/10 Very thematic, but I wish we had learned her first name. I feel like it could have been just a little more creative and well-fitting.

Crawlings - That's just his name. There isn't really a way to find meaning in it, especially as it's only one word. I suppose it conveys a creeping, spooky, unsettling feeling, but he just sounds odd.

?/10 I don't really know what to do with him.

And, lastly, because I felt bad for leaving him out:

Jeffers - It means "Son of Jeffery", which, in turn, means "peace" or "God's pledge". Now, this does not really refer to his personality, because he is never at peace, poor man. It may refer to his goal to keep the peace, sort of?

7/10 Just a good goon name.

[ben-talks-art]

Why I like Xanatos

"Oh, reason not the need, father... I wanted it, so I took it."

This might sound weird but of all the reasons to like Xanatos, the one that intrigues me the most is that he just might be one of the happiest characters I've ever seen.

Something that I like to think about whenever I look at a character is how much their actions are helping them achieve joy in life and how they respond to that.

For instance, John's choices bring him a lot of misery but he always try to blame others around him for it and try to get them to change instead of working on himself, Ramses and Catra on the other hand just live in denial trying to pretend they're not miserable so they don't have to change who they are, while people like Spider-Man and Percy Jackson just try to laugh at it and keep going despite the misery.

Xanatos though... Xanatos is never miserable. He's a man who already discovered the thing in life that brings him joy, that being, using his wealth and wisdom to mess around with things and people around him. He's basically a grown kid with the intellect and maturity of an adult and the whole world is his toy house.

Doesn't matter if he is at the top of the world or at the bottom of a prison cell, Xanatos always knows how to make a situation turn out in his favor.

While some characters usually grab me by their relationship with tragedies, Xanatos grabs me by his ability to be immune to tragedy.

The guy's also very dangerous. If something seems fun to him, he'll do it, no matter who may suffer for it.

He kinda feels less like a villain and more just a guy whose goals just so happen to clash with that of the heroes, so much so that whenever his goals match that of the heroes he is always more than happy to cooperate with them as if they were all good life-long friends (he even asked his mortal enemy to be his best man at his wedding).

This is honestly a good example of the difference between a villain and an antagonist. He isn't a sadist that enjoys hurting others, he doesn't want to rob a bank so he can get rich, take over the world and enslave humanity, or take revenge on someone who wronged him... He just wants to feel joy, and he's just so freaking good at it, he's so good at knowing how to have fun with any situation he's in.

Someone like Aaravos always looks like he's having fun too, but that's mostly because he's constantly watching things go as he planned it. I think Xanatos could literally be picking up trash on the beach and he would still find a way to enjoy it somehow.

And what I find it really interesting is that once he decides to build a stable life with his wife and son he completely stops doing anything villain-ish, basically saying that having a family is the most fun he could be having right now.

Xanatos isn't just a character that I love to like, he's also a character that I really respect! I WISH I could know how to enjoy life like he does, never caring too much about the things I lose and always looking at what I still have and what I can still achieve!

Favorite character list>>

[antebellumite]

I HAVE GOTTEN TWO LIKES AND ONE RESPONSE WHICH I WILL TAKE AS A YES, SO:

(Current thoughts on this outline are: I really don't know what to do about Abe's pre-existing father. How DOES Abe gets elected as a Republican in this scenerio. And LincPolk is the ship of the new year blaze it. )

BOOK ONE: GOOD FEELINGS

We begin in 1824. As Adams, Crawford, Calhoun, Clay, and Jackson campaign for the presidency, rumors begin circulating in the (jacksonian?) press on John C. Calhoun’s illegitimate lovechild

(Abraham Lincoln, born in 1808 to a bartender who Calhoun seduced before cruelly abandoning her, and forcing her to run to the WILDERNESS WEST in order to escape HER SHAME. At a tragic age, she DIES in POVERTY, leaving her poor orphan child (incidentally, Calhoun's child) with a cruel stepfather, all while her lost love has forgotten her in his SELFISH BID FOR DEMAGOGUERISH POWER.)

(Whether this is true or not doesn't matter. The point is, the American people believe this.)

As these rumors circulate, Calhoun finds concerned about effect what these allegations might have on his Presidential bid, as well as his general political and personal life, Calhoun decides to take it upon himself to clarify and end these rumors...

By uhhh adopting this presumed child of his.

( This fic is told by the perspective of Lincoln. We never learn if JCC really was Lincoln's dad or not.)

The point is, JCC takes a train to Kentucky and before you know it, 15 year old Abraham Lincoln is brought into Washington DC as Calhoun’s newly adopted son, Calhoun has concocted some intellectual skirting to rehabilitate his image, and all accusations are dropped once Calhoun accepts Vice Presidency from Andrew Jackson ( and Quincy).

Abe meanwhile is having a very hard time adjusting to what as far as he knows is a very Confusing Kidnapping situation.

( look he doesn't hate Not Having To Live In A Log Cabin And Being Able To Actually Read Books Now but he also didn't ask to be kidnapped away from his family and sister? Like HELLO?)

Things spiral, your average Calhoun family drama now Heightened, electoral college shenanigans as Calhoun attempts to bond with Lincoln by shoving him in front of a lot of Important Political Figures, which has mixed results ( Lincoln does make a good impression with our dear friend Henry Clay though, which seems a win! ( for now)), more.

Good News: Unlike his bastard father, Lincoln is much better at Holding Conversations with People than his father is, which helps if your dad's as insufferable as Calhoun, which incidentally also helps Calhoun.

Bad News: Calhoun severely misjudged the ease of which a Abe can integrate into Washington City, which does not help Calhoun. This isn't Abe's fault of course. Our protagonist was literally in the process of becoming a Wrestling Champion when he was thrown into Washington!

But that's something that they'll have to work towards.

John C. Calhoun as Quincy's VP ends up heightening Lincoln’s sudden prestige as he continues trying for his education, adapting to Washington life, missing his sister and stepmother, and slowly becoming a devoted pro-Clayite as Corrupt Bargain charges spring up, to Calhoun's growing chagrin.

After significant bartering and psychological warfare, Abe finds a way to get Calhoun to get Sarah Lincoln to Washington City too. Things continue at a fun, notable, pace, as Abe and Sarah further have their jolly adventures in the city, as Abe gets more and more drawn to Henry Clay and his growing political ideology, and Sarah I'm tempted to say grows closer to the Jacksonians and Martin Van Buren instead.

They both grow more in tune with their respective political ideas, and a few months after Abe reaches his 20th birthday, he decides that now is the time for him to move to ILLINOIS, tearfully saying goodbye to Sarah, Mr. Clay, and Mr. Calhoun, please write! And off he goes.

Meanwhile, the Tariff of Abominations is passed.

BOOK 2: GROWING DISCONTENT

The next few years consist of Abe jollily writing letters to his family, getting them back, working in a general store, working as a bartender, failing at getting Elected, entering a war, making several friends including Joshua Speed, getting his heart broken, and keeping up with the Whig news.

This lasts until 1832.

( yes everything I just listed occurred within a ~5 year period)

Mustered out ( of the Black Hawk War), Abe decides to go to Washington DC, where he finds out that Calhoun has left.

And uh, yeah, everything else.

Including the fact that JCC might get murdered by Andrew Jackson.

For the whole Nullification Thing. And the Treason.

Which sucks!!!

So, after engaging briefly with Mr. Clay and Mr. Clayton ( who share very same names for such different men), Sarah (luckily one of the few spared from the Eaton Fallout and I'm going to offer that she's best friends now with Sarah Childress Polk because I think that'd be fun) and Mr. Webster (after the Webster-Hayne debates, which sucks, because if Abe knew that these debates were taking place, he'd have rushed here to hear), Lincoln leaves for South Carolina.

Which also sucks.

So Abe does not have a good time transversing the southern states trying to find his adoptive father. Partly because of the Political Tension, partly because now he's seeing slavery in action and really isn't fond of the brutality of it ( You know who else isn't fond of it, Abe???), and partly because the environment is really triggering his fight or flight instinct.

In the worst family reunion ever, Abe meets Calhoun at a Fort Hill meeting discussing South Carolinian armed resistance. Robert Hayne is there, which is nice. Robert Rhett is also there, which is less nice. Floride, Anna Maria, and Andrew are also there, which is fine, but Abe's suddenly realizing that his original plan of ending the Nullification Crisis by forcing his father to just agree with Andrew Jackson's terms for now...

Really isn't going to work.

Anyways. Nullification, states rights, slavery, secession ( and here I assume someone kicks Rhett out a window) leaves a bad taste in Abe's mouth. After saying his Goodbyes, Lincoln returns to Washington, where he works alongside Clay and the Whigs to make sure Calhoun does not find himself Hanged when he returns as Senator.

We know what happens here. Calhoun returns, Force Bill, Compromise, yada yada. Abe gets increasingly frustrated as he really wants to go back to Illinois but Nope! He has to stay here and make sure that his dad doesn't die. Meanwhile, he reconnects with the Washington socialites he left off five years ago.

Benjamin Brown French is here now, which is great!

With Calhoun saved, Lincoln is relieved, but he finds himself increasingly disturbed by how his father is now turning gears as a champion of South Carolina, states rights, and slavery. Besides, as a Whig, Lincoln finds himself increasingly drawn to Clay’s beliefs rather than Calhoun’s, which is fine while they're allied but soon... it's obvious that Calhoun's going to break away.

Lincoln returns to Illinois. Disillusioned by his father, he runs for Illinois State Legislature (1834)  where he meets Ms. Mary Todd... and Stephen Douglas.

The Liberator spreads to Lincoln’s ears, and Lincoln grows even more antislavery. The gag rule causes slavery to be inflamed in Congress. Calhoun breaks with the Whigs over the sub-treasury debates and gives his Slavery is a Positive Good speech. Lincoln and Mary Todd grow closer. and they marry...

....Just as Elijah Lovejoy is murdered.

And cut.

BOOK 3: RAIL AND IRON

Five years have passed. In 1843, Mary and Abraham have married with Robert Todd Lincoln, who was just born.

In a move of Alternate Universe handwavium I'll chalk up to the connections Lincoln no doubt made in Washington City, Abe enters the HoR as representative of the 7th district of Illinois. He’s appointed to the Committee on Post Office and Post Roads and the Committee on Expenditures in the State Department.

In the house, we meet old faces, John Quincy Adams, Henry Wise, Benjamin Brown French, and new faces, William Seward and Joshua Giddings, a bit of Henry Clay, Daniel Webster, and the Tyler Administration.

Giddings and Lincoln attempt to pass a bill to abolish slavery in the District of Columbia which fails, but it does garners him attention from JCC again.

Yes, they've been estranged for a almost a decade. No, things are not normal between them. Yes, Abe would be more than glad to introduce Calhoun to his grandson once Robert Todd arrives. Yes, Sarah Lincoln is still a prominent Jacksonian and she informs Abe that she and Sarah Polk are planning for a James K Polk nomination once the Tyler Administration ends. No, Abe is not an abolitionist, he just can't vibe with *gestures to Calhoun's everything* whatever this is. Anyways, I heard Anna Maria's doing well, how's Andrew by the way?

Anyways, things resume, Lincoln spends most of his time back home in Illinois to enact internal improvements, patch up the rails and road systems, and to avoid Calhoun. This comes to an end when USS Princeton explodes and whoopsedoop, Henry Wise now boasts about getting JCC in office of Secretary of State

Lincoln, as part of the Committee on Expenditures in the State Department, finds himself in a very Unfortunate and Concerning Situation of looking into Calhoun's (State) finances. When Mary and Robert Todd come to Washington DC, Calhoun's glad to meet them ( not in the least because Mary's family are southerners who are sympathetic to Calhoun which might bring Calhoun's wayward son back on track!)

Aside from all this, Abe takes the chance to get to know some of Calhoun's acolytes. There's Rhett, Secessionist Prodigal Son Number One. There's Yancey, Secessionist Prodigal Son Number Two. There's RMT Hunter, who's Calhoun's favorite (apparently). There James Mason, who's Calhoun's other favorite (apparently). And there's Varina Davis, who Calhoun seems to like way better than her ugly ass groom (Jefferson Davis). None of our dear Calhounite friends know quite what to do with Lincoln. And frankly, Lincoln doesn't know how to deal with them besides Ignoring the Elephant in the Room, no, not That Elephant, the Other Elephant.

But alas, now is not the time to ponder one's daddy issues. Lincoln is determined to fight against any possibility of war. His time in Congress is marginally successful as he supports a few bills regarding tariffs that influence Illinois, going back to his state constantly for inner-state politics.

As this is occurirng, with the help of Sarah and Sarah, Polk is running as a dark horse candidate against Clay-which is the first time a serious political divide has occurred between the Lincoln siblings. As the Lincoln-Calhoun connections begin to be brought up once more (how couldn't they, it's Calhoun) Lincoln supports Clay, and prepares for a re-running in 1846, when Eddie Lincoln is born.

Yes.

We are playing close to IRL as we possibly can.

Relationships with JCC remain tense. JQA dies, I like to think maybe Abe becomes close with RMT Hunter alongside Alexander Stephens, make things fun.

Things get....divergent once Polk wins the election.

Long story short, the Wilmot Proviso passes thanks to him and Sarah Lincoln.

As the war ends with a restriction on slavery, Lincoln realizes that Clay won’t be winning. He supports Zachary Taylor for the Whig nomination in 1848, where Lincoln becomes appointed Commissioner of the United States General Land Office just as he has hoped, aiding in surveying/platting/selling off the new free land of the Wilmot Proviso. 

It's a dream come true! Abe's achieved his Political Goal, a Whig is President, and Slavery has been Cornered with the Wilmot Proviso! Huzzah-

Book 4: FIRE IN WINTER

1850. The Compromise of 1850 is in full swing with several changes and alas. The South demands more land since they’ve been barred from the West thanks to the Wilmot Proviso. JCC is dying. Disunion is imminent and only one man can save this country... Henry Clay Stephen Douglas.

The Omnibus/Compromise consists of five parts: Fugitive Slave Act, banning of the slave trade in Washington City*, approving California as a free state**, popular sovereignty for Kansas-Nebraska (repealing the Compromise of 1820)***, and the chopping of Texas into three different states****.

*but not slavery

**California still finds a way to use slave labor.

***yes we are kicking Blood Kansas up a few years.

****I was struggling to come up with Five Plans

It's not a good year. Eddie dies. Clay is dying. Calhoun is dead. All of this leads to grief and unhappiness for all. Everyone has depression and Washington City is not making things easier. Willie is born. Lincoln wants to retire and resume lawyering but instead he's here watching things spiral and his father figure dying.

Lincoln's def. around for JCC's eulogizing in Congress, but I can't say if he goes down south to see the actual funeral. If he does... best of luck to him. At least AMC and TGC aren't trying to rip him apart.

Lincoln probably would get along with the AMC/TGC kids. The cool uncle to AMC's strict parenting style. BOOK 5: DAWN

1850s: Abe’s lawyering is working well, I'm not going to summarize everything that occured during his lawyering days-- wikipedia already does that. He grows closer to the Republican movement (how does that work out for the adopted son of Mr. Slavery is a Positive Good himself? who knows. I trust Lincoln's political genius to figure something out.)

For the next eight years, the abolitionist movement grows, Lincoln became a leading Republican in Illinois, and alas, scrutiny means that he has to cut off on communications with Stephens and Hunter. Goodbye buddies. Tad's born in 1853 and everything is stable and not going to hell in a hand basket at all.

Meanwhile, in the Wider United States, things have been helling in a handbasket for a while now.

The outcome of the 1850 Compromise, Bleeding Kansas, is in full swing, Charles Sumner gets caned, outcries ensue, Anthony Burns and Dred Scott and John Brown doing his thing.

I assume that during this entire time Lincoln supporters are fighting for their lives trying to get their man on the Republican ballot without bringing up JCC's name.

Anyways. Lincoln-Douglas debates for Illinois Senate because we can't miss them.

Moving past that, Presidential Campaign time! Luckily, not everyone in this country cares too much about human rights, so Abe gets to keep Pennsylvania on account of the Tariff Question, and the West, the North is somewhat harder but there's help ( Sarah's here too and helping her brother become President! I am limiting the amount of Lincoln tragedies in this universe to approximately two!!).

No hope for the South, they're tied between-

"Hey, you know what would be REALLY funny???"

- William Lowndes Yancey & Robert Rhett, 1850, secretly promoting Abraham Lincoln for President because it'll help them secede and also because hey. Hey.

On a level of 1-10 how bad is this scandal? 10000.

In the private frontier, the Lincoln family is getting torn apart by the whole IMMINENT SECESSION thing. AMC and Mary’s southern family are excommunicating Abe which makes Thanksgivings awkward once they're declared a national holiday. And Abe finds himself getting close to being blown apart both by proslavery men and also by his own base for the whole 'he got endorsed by secessionists???' thing.

Seward-Weed Ex Machina don't worry through the power of New York organization and iron rule, all things are possible, though, and Abe emerges through the skin of his teeth.

Thanks a lot, Guys. It took ~30 years but Abe's finally starting to get genuinely irritated.

Ah well, the Confederacy Begins, the Southern Representatives leave, James Buchanan Gets Eviscerated, and I'm chewing on an idea where there's a scene where Lincoln maybe has some meeting with Rhett and Yancey and the secessionists who congratulate him on winning the Presidency.

And there's something in the scene which is a metaphor for Lincoln finally casting the shadow of JCC behind him, vowing to preserve the Union, while cutting slavery away if he must. Who knows, this won't ever be written lmao.

But that's it for now.

After this is an epilogue showing the the tentative beginning days of the war, with Lincoln juggling his Presidential responsibility to keep the Union together, the Confederacy, his Cabinet, his life with Mary, slavery, and the Radical Republicans.

I'm sure he'll do fine.

sooooo does anyone want my outline for an 'abraham lincoln is john c calhoun's illegitimate kid' fanfic?

[wanderingbards]

Good morning! Percy Jackson AU as conceptualized by the jrwihyperfixation discord.

(The discord is literally me and my 2 friends. Also, below the cut it goes beyond Riptide!)

- Gillion is so obviously a son of Poseidon.

- Jay is a daughter of Hephaestus.

- Chip as a son of Hermes.

- Lizzie and Marshal John are Ares kids. Caspian is a water nymph.

- Gillion has a v big prophecy he's meant to fulfill, and has been at camp since he was very very young.

- Jay survived getting to camp because Ava, her older sister, sacrificed herself for Jay.

- Lizzie and Chip found camp together.

- Edyn is a daughter of Poseidon, but she chose to join the Hunters of Artemis when she learned of how Gillion was being treated so she can like, search the world for ways to get around the prophecy.

- Lizzie and Jay flirt. A lot. Jay makes Lizzie little trinkets and whatnot. Lizzie judo flips Jay at every opportunity.

- William Wisp. Do I have to explain he is literally Nico di Angelo but we have him at home type.

- Vyncent is a child of Dionysus. Look it makes sense I just can't explain.

- Dakota is a son of Ares. Likes kicking things.

- Ashe is a son of Hecate the three meet while out questing and bring along.

- Tide is a nymph, Wavelength is a clearsighted mortal who is very protective over Ashe.

- The PD trio meet Wavelength when he saves them on their quest to rescue Tide. He brings them home and that's where they meet Ashe.

- The quest is William's initially, but he is such a monster magnet that Dakota basically insists he go with to protect William. Vyncent gets dragged along as well.

- They get caught up in their quest and end up losing Ashe - so they make a quick stop at camp before setting out once more to save Ashe.

- They get the Winnebago, and Jay totally upgrades it so it does cool shit. Chip and Gillion see the trio off, and Gillion tells them it's their destiny.

- William and Gillion sit together at meals because their tables are otherwise empty, because there's so few Big 3 kids around.

- They also bond over respective destinies involving prophecies.

- Rumi is a child of Aphrodite because I'm sorry look at her.

- Thanatos is a child of Thanatos, obviously - he's a construct that has some of the godly power to protect camp, but he grows very human very fast and gets very attached to Rumi and Peter.

- Speaking of Peter, he comes to camp possessed by a lesser god. For his safety, he stays in the Big House, but Rumi and Thanatos see him and take him under their wing.

- Rumi is immediately in love with Peter, and Peter is so fucking oblivious to it for so long.

- The trio quest to take down corrupt entities such as some lesser gods and whatnot, and at some point Thanatos ends up killing Peter and praying to his father to just let him stay please don't take him.

- Peter, meanwhile, learns he's a son of Apollo and manages to defeat the god that has possessed him for the past year - Exandroth.

- Peter comes back to life and they complete their quest.

[razrbladekiss]

Tyrants | Chapter One - Disclosure

A/N: This was supposed to be a Jax x Fem!OC fanfic, but it took a little turn as I started to write more of it. So, it’ll be Tig x Fem!OC, but Jax does play a very important role in this.

SUMMARY: A sick turn of events sees Isla Telford thrown in at the deep end, battling to govern the sudden pressures of all that her father's club decidedly bestow upon her.

WORD COUNT: 2.7k

WARNINGS: Brief mentions of murder, the guy that got his ass shit is in this one. Jax and Tig get their own warnings, too, for obvious reasons.

The older I get, the more I realize that age doesn't bring wisdom. It only brings weary.

John Teller was always so astute.

His judicious character befell his son, too. Jax had that same perceptive nature as his old man--everyone would comment on that.

To Isla, it was admirable. For Jackson Teller to be a man of such stature--to hold such a reputation--and to remain somewhat level-headed through it all, was only something she could commend.

She'd seen many of her father's friends crumble under the pressure of Samcro, unable to balance the weight of living with the responsibility and commitment to the club, and meet their unfortunate demise--in some not-so extreme cases.

But Jax was different. He'd always been different.

Maybe that wasn't so great, however.

"You're fucking insane, Isla."

"Not insane." She mumbled, sifting through the box of shitty medical supplies that Gemma had left atop the pool table last night.

"Just trying to patch this shit up so Hayes doesn't kick the fucking bucket before Jax gets back here."

Tig snarled. "But it might be infected, and the bullet is still in this dude's ass--"

Isla whipped her head to glare at the man, her eyes wide, forehead slick with sweat--and a little blood, too.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Isla--"

"Tig, with all due respect, unless you're gonna help, please get the fuck outta here."

"That's not gonna suffice," he pointed out, referring to the medical tape, ignoring her scolding.

She wanted to throttle him. Truly, Isla was willing to wrap her crimson-coated fingertips around Tig's neck and squeeze the absolute life out of that man.

"I know." Her lips kneaded together in frustration, watching her father dab an alcohol-infused pad on the wound. "But unless you've got any better ideas, then we're just gonna have to keep reapplying this shit."

"But the infection, Isla."

"But the lack of medical equipment, Tig."

He slapped his palm against the table and glared at her, pointedly. "Why've you gotta be such a bitch all the time, huh?"

"Watch it, Trager." Piqued, Chibs growled.

"I'm not a bitch all the time," she dismissed her father, wiping at her palm with a wet rag. "I'm actually able to control the way I act around other people."

"Oh, fuck you--"

"Christ!"

The Scot's yell was muffled by the cap of his whiskey bottle, his hand pressing against Cameron's skin as the man screamed into the cloth Isla had placed underneath his head.

"God, for fucks sake, both of you just pack it in."

"Chibs--"

"Shut the fuck up. You're a fucking geriatric and you're spending your morning bickering with an almost thirty-year-old. Grow up, Tig."

Despite laughing at his comment, and enjoying the irritation wash over the other man's face, she felt bad.

For riling her father up--who was simply trying to help the innocent Irishman caught in the literal crossfire--she felt fucking awful. Especially because he never seemed to get mad at her all too often.

Tig, though...That was a different story entirely.

"I'm gonna go see if Clay has any more shit lying 'round here." She declared, throwing a damp towel onto the table, backing out of the room.

Her heart was in her throat, stomach in damn knots. Isla wasn't confident that Cameron was going to make it--not with such a deep wound.

And in his ass, too? Jesus. She wasn't confident at all.

Of course, she'd seen men get shot. Her own father, for one. But she hadn't seen somebody have to go so long without actual medical attention.

Chibs was ex-army med, but there was only so much a man could've done with a bottle of liquor, gauze, and a towel.

She was relieved that the bullet hit Cameron and not Clay, though. As sick as it sounded, she was so fucking glad that he'd managed to dodge the line of fire--initially intended for his own skull--and come out completely unscathed.

But for every ounce of relief she'd felt, an even more fervid sense of anger prevailed at the thought of Jax taking so damn long with those medical supplies he'd sought to get last night.

Gemma mentioned something about heading to the hospital--or a friend's house, or something--but Isla wasn't paying any mind to the woman as she, and Chibs, were trying all ways to stop the bleeding coming from Cameron's ass cheek.

It was the most bizarre turn of events she'd ever experienced.

One minute, Isla was sipping on a glass of wine while she eagerly awaited the spirited ping of her tiny microwave oven, ready to spend a rare--though well fucking deserved--night alone.

However, things took a drastic turn when she received a call from Tig--on behalf of a very busy Chibs--casually requesting her assistance because the Mayans had tried to assassinate Clay.

But Tig failed to mention that the man was completely fine.

She'd spent fifteen minutes on the way over mentally preparing herself, wondering what hell she'd walk into when she set foot into the clubhouse. But it was normal--strangely so.

Isla wasn't a professional, she didn't exactly know how to handle such a trauma, but she trusted her father and she just wanted to make sure he had a helping hand.

God knows that Tig wouldn't have been very much use, and Juice was a little nervous--though, he was doing incredibly well throughout the ordeal regardless of his internal apprehension.

"How's it looking?" Gemma threw at Isla, getting to her feet.

"Bloody."

She quickly scanned the room, taking in the uncomfortably sparse bar. It wasn't usually so empty, so quiet.

Clay, Gemma, and Juice. That was it. Not even Piney--not even Epps.

"Is he doing okay?"

It was still early in the day, though. She guessed that they'd pop in once they properly came around.

"He's better than he was last night." The brunette nodded. "Dad is certain the laceration is gonna get infected if we leave it any longer without trying to get the bullet out--"

"You've gotta wait 'til Jax gets back here, Isla, we can't risk Hayes dying on us."

"I know, Clay. He's just fucking tired--he's been up all night. We need a real medic on the scene before something bad happens. It's only a matter of time."

He mumbled something to himself that only Gemma seemed to catch, but Isla didn't particularly give a damn at that point. Like Chibs, she was exhausted.

The tattered and torn plaid shirt she had thrown over a random tank top--now smeared with another man's blood--was wrenched between her fingers as she pulled it off, folding it not-so-neatly.

She hadn't dealt with such a bloody wound in a while. Not since her mother's palm, decorated with shards of glass, was in dire need of stitches and her father was across the country, unable to offer his medical assistance.

"I'll grab one of Jax's shirts for you--"

"No, Gemma, it's okay," she smiled, taking a seat on one of the couches opposite her.

The older woman pinched her eyebrows together skeptically, watching Isla shift. "I insist."

"It's fine." Isla was adamant. "I'm gonna head home as soon as Jax gets back here--if he gets back here--so, really, it's fine."

A minimal amount of already dried blood was spread over her wrists and fingers, and the excess had been rubbed off on her crimson flannel, so she didn't particularly feel bad about making any mess.

Though, she shouldn't have felt bad. Not after she'd been coerced into helping and eventually receiving that shitty reception from Tig.

"Aren't you cold?" She questioned, waiting for Isla to capitulate, but she never did.

The thought of wearing one of Jax's shirts--after it being given to her by his fucking mother--didn't sit right with her for some reason. Plus, she didn't particularly feel like walking out of that building wearing the damn reaper on her back.

She didn't want to flaunt their patch. Not any more than she already had been for the last ten years.

"Where the fuck is he?"

Clay glared at the clock on the wall, realizing they'd been without the Vice President for hours. In an attempt to put him at ease, Gemma ran a hand along his shoulder.

Isla could only watch them--admire, perhaps.

"He told us he was gonna swing by Tara's place for the equipment. But that was last night, man." Juice shrugged, circling the lip of his beer bottle with his thumb.

She felt her throat thicken with a sick sense of trepidation. She hadn't heard that name in years.

"Tara?" She stuttered, feeling Gemma's piercing glare.

The woman hated Jax's first love, though she never said it aloud. Isla knew her perception of her, however, and she'd started to feel the exact same as the years went on.

Bitch.

"Yeah, y'know, Tara Knowles--"

Her heart sank--fuck that, it dove straight to the deep caverns of her chest, throbbing away into nothing. Until she felt completely void of all emotion. Completely fucking numb.

"I know her, Juice." Her response came hastily, snappy. "I'm sorry. I just didn't expect you to say that."

He shrugged it off. "It's alright. I wasn't expecting her to be back in town, either. I thought you already knew."

Suddenly uncomfortable, Isla's head shook.

The crow situated at the bottom of her spine began to smolder, blistering away at her skin until she physically flinched.

It was a brilliant idea at the time, getting a matching tattoo with Jax's old lady--the one woman she truly adored and trusted, never once feeling an ounce of malice toward.

Because that was a rare thing for Isla, and she wanted their friendship--and relation to Samcro--to prevail for eternity, she supposed.

But as time went on and Tara decided to distance, and eventually alienate, herself from the club, an ample sense of regret persisted for fucking months.

Isla loathed her ink. She hated the negative connotation of the crow she once lauded, and the mere idea of that thing being slapped above her ass forever churned her stomach.

It wasn't one of her finest moments, she had to admit. But she was young and extremely fucking dumb. She'd bet top dollar that Tara felt the same--if she hadn't gotten the crow covered up already.

"Jesus, Jax, where were you?!"

Her eyes flicked upward, attention on the blonde as he sauntered across the wooden floor of the bar.

She hadn't even noticed his presence until Clay spoke, but she soon started to heed how Jax was trembling a bit with every step that he took.

It wasn't obvious. To most people, the slight shake of his wrist would've gone completely unnoticed. But to Isla--to the most observant woman in Charming--his discomfort was striking.

Jax ignored him, stomping his way toward the back room. His line of sight never satisfied Isla's. It didn't even come close to it, either.

Something had happened. It was obvious that, in the time he had been with Tara, he'd encountered something grizzly enough to chill him to the bone.

Which was saying something, what with the horrific shit that he'd already seen in his time.

"Jax!" Clay yelled, following closely behind him. "Hey, asshole, where the fuck did you put the bag--"

"I've got it."

If she had the option, Isla would've allowed the floor to swallow her fucking whole.

"Tara." Pissed, Gemma acknowledged. "You're here because?"

"I asked her to help, mom."

"But Chibs had it covered. He just needed some actual instruments--"

"Gemma, quit it."

She simply nodded at her son, not wanting to cause another problem that she'd have to fix later--which, honestly, Isla was shocked to see.

"He's in there--"

"I know." Jax cut her short, ushering Tara to the back of the clubhouse--striving to get her into the room before she heeded Isla.

But she did.

The first person she clocked--aside from Clay--was Isla Telford, the woman she had purposely alienated herself from ten fucking years ago.

It wasn't anything that she'd particularly done to Tara, more like the crowd she ran with--and the way her loyalties never seemed to lay very closely to her friends, or anything outside of the club.

Isla wasn't a part of Samcro--she didn't want to be a part of Samcro--but her coalition was strong enough to convince anybody that she was more than merely a daughter of a Sgt. at Arms.

She had been brought up around the Sons--her father's choice, of course--and when her mother passed, she had no choice but to dive a little bit deeper into that world. But, as expected, it was constantly under the watchful eye of her old man.

She was dedicated to them. They were, essentially, family, and she was an honorary member.

"Isla." Jax mumbled, nodding his head toward the entrance of the clubhouse as he closed the back-door. "Outside."

He pulled a carton of cigarettes out of his leather vest, shaking the box as he strived to seem a little less suspicious to Clay and his mother.

The blonde wobbled to her feet--knees weak after hours of standing--while simultaneously pulling her bloodied flannel back onto svelte, freckled arms, recognizing that the chill was to hit her the second she stepped onto the gravel.

Jax was casual while he strutted ahead, taking long strides that Isla found fucking impossible to keep up with.

He pushed the door to close behind her, offering a cigarette that she hastily declined.

"What's she doing here?" Was how she decided to break the silence, her eyes searching for a hint of something written on his face.

But there was nothing. Not an ounce of emotion--scarily so.

"She's fixing Cameron up--"

"Not at the clubhouse, Jax. I meant back in Charming."

He ran a thumb across his lower lip, trying to soften his gaze on Isla, but it was futile. He looked discomposed--unsettled.

"She's uh--she's workin' at the hospital now." She started to nod, waiting for his elaboration. It never came, however.

"Oh, that's nice. I wonder what happened in Chicago...Do you know why she's back here? Or how long she's gonna be staying in town--"

"You sound like my fucking mother--give it a break with the thirty-seven questions about Tara, damnit."

He snarled, heeding the distaste of his words the second she glowered at him.

"Excuse you?"

"I didn't call you out here for a sweet little conversation, Isla, I called you 'cause I need your help--"

"With what?"

Jax's hand hooked onto the back of his neck while he tilted his head to look upward, thinking of a way--any fucking way--to explain just what damn mess he'd found himself entwined with over the course of the last twenty-four hours.

He didn't know what to say or how to say it--if he should've fucking said it. He trusted Isla with his life--always had--but sometimes he appreciated that she mightn't have appreciated finding herself tangled within Jax's boisterous, at times frightening, life.

But it was too late for that. She'd been dragged through the deepest shit and wasn't crumbling that easily.

"Jax--"

"Kohn." He stated simply, waiting for the cogs of her brain to begin turning.

"What about him? You got in trouble with the ATF or something? Because we can handle that--"

"I already did." Jax laughed humorlessly, finally meeting Isla's line of sight.

The skin underneath his eyes was red raw, blotchy and irritated after he had used the sleeve of his hoodie to scrub away the tears he'd shed.

The tears he hadn't wanted to shed, but had fallen freely--uncontrollably--from those cerulean hues Isla never tired of looking at.

"What do you mean by that?" Nervously, she quizzed.

He didn't even have to say anything. She fucking knew. She knew exactly what he meant by that, but there was a tiny morsel of something within her that hoped and prayed that he'd declare that her gut feeling was wrong.

But he couldn't. Because it was right. Like always, Isla's intuition didn't fail her.

"Jax, honey, what did you do--"

"I killed Kohn."

[natromanxoff]

Mercury Roadrunner's Interview about Freddie Mercury with Peter Freestone – Part III

Thanks very much to Mercury Roadrunner (Pavel Strashnyy) for letting me share his amazing interviews! Originally shared here. Check the tag "MR interview with Phoebe" to see the other parts.

Here are the 6 main topics of this interview, beginning of each topic is written in bold:

1. Freddie's clothes and beliefs, drugging story

2. Freddie's family

3. South American tour

4. Memories about Brian, Roger and John

5. Books, plays and opera

6. Before and after concerts, Michael Jackson, first memory about Freddie, what how would it be if he was still alive?

PS: So, here is our third part, and the first topic is about Freddie’s clothes for concerts. On the Hot Space tour, we can see arrows in Freddie’s clothes. What was so special for Freddie about these arrows?

PF: I don’t know. It’s just something that got into his mind. They are also in the video for “Body Language.” I think it’s just something that fascinated him at the time. He just decided he liked arrows.

PS: I see. And where exactly did you source all those arrowed vests and jackets for him, for concerts?

PF: They were actually all made in America, they were made for him. They bought the T-shirts and painted them on. And with the leather jackets and the other jackets, they just made them. There was that one big jacket he had. He only wore it, I think, once or twice. With the actual arrows sewn onto it. He literally wore it two times, I think. The reason he didn’t use it was because he couldn’t take it off on stage, because as soon as he started sweating it stuck to him. So, there was no way he could just take it off. That’s why he stopped using it. But it was just a phase he went through.

PS: Speaking about Freddie’s T-shirts, Freddie used to wear quite a few T-shirts with logos of different gay establishments, different gay clubs, such as Haven, The Works. And the question is, how exactly did he usually obtain such T-shirts? Were they given to him as presents or did he buy them?

PF: Most of them were. I mean, obviously, we offered to pay, but then the manager says, “No, no, no. Take it, take it.” Because, of course, it’s going to be good advertising for them, isn’t it?

PS: With such a superstar wearing their T-shirts. Speaking of clubs, have you ever visited the famous Studio 54 in New York?

PF: Yes, we were there quite often. Usually on the Sunday night. And, it was fine, it was good. It was the Sunday, because he went to The Saint on Saturday. It was fun, it was good. It was so very, very different because of the history that was attached to it. But it was good, it was big enough for people to hide in. If you wanted to be seen in a photograph – yes, fine, well and good. But if you didn’t, then there were plenty of places where you could just stand or sit, or whatever.

PS: In what ways was it different?

PF: I mean, the feeling of the place. Because they spent a lot of money on the interior. With all the different lighting, stage, everything was there. It had that, sort of, bit of glamour.

PS: Actually, as we mentioned the holiday of Easter at the beginning of our talk, I would like to ask you, in your understanding, was Freddie any kind of spiritual person? Maybe not religious but sort of a believer, as we can see a lot of lyrics for his songs where he mentions God.

PF: He didn’t follow any organised religion, because it’s something that he never really spoke about, because he felt that and politics were, in fact, very private to a person. But I do believe he had a faith, he did have his belief, but not in any way that we would recognise.

PS: Coming back to our topic about clubs, could you please try to remember the story about Freddie meeting one of the members of Village People in one of the clubs?

PF: I’m trying to remember which club we were in. It could actually have been The Works where we met him, because I know it was just a chance meeting. We then went to some promotion thing that the Village People were doing. And we were there, we met up with David Hodo; he was the construction worker. They became good friends, and they would meet up quite often in clubs whenever Freddie was in New York. But it was just a chance meeting.

PS: There were some kind of rumours that some accident happened to Freddie when he met one of the Village People members in a club. Do you remember anything like this?

PF: Accident, no. There was that time in one of the clubs, there was a group of us and David was there with us. I went to the toilet and told Freddie, “Just stay here.” And he says, “Yes, yes, yes.” And then I went to the toilet and when I came back, of course, he wasn’t there where he was supposed to be. And then David came and found me and said, “You better come and give Freddie a hand,” I said, “Why? What?” He said, “You have to see it.” We went round the corner and there was Freddie jumping in a big, sort of, net container where there were all the plastic cups from the drinks you just threw away. He was just jumping up and down in it, because someone had actually put something into one of his drinks, and he just had gone… happy. [laughs] So, between David and myself, we just lifted him out, took him and stood him by the bar and wouldn’t let him go anywhere.

PS: Coming back to the Hot Space times, you can be actually seen in the backstage footage of the Milton Keynes Bowl show, and you are walking together with Freddie to the stage. Can you please share any special memories about this show?

PF: The show itself, no. But the night before the show, he was bitten on his hand by his boyfriend at the time, Bill Reid. He bit him and drew blood between his thumb and his forefinger. So, Freddie was having a bit of a problem playing the piano at that show. As far as the music goes, it was another big outdoor Queen show.

PS: Speaking about the Hot Space tour, in general, what was the most specific moment or, maybe, your personal memory of it?

PF: No, not really. One tour blends into the next tour, whether it was Europe or America. When you are actually on tour, it’s basically the same every evening – soundcheck, show, out, hotel, travel to the next place. It became very much routine.

PS: As a viewer, you have seen only one Queen show, right?

PF: Yes, the show I have seen was one of the Wembley shows in 1986. It was the Friday night. He had friends over from America and he wanted me to look after them. And then Joe actually took care of him for the show.

PS: And you saw it not from the stage but as a viewer?

PF: Yeah. We were all sat in the royal box, which was, sort of, the VIP area. You don’t get any good view or anything, and this is in any show. It’s either right at the side or whatever. You don’t really see anything. It’s really a place where celebrities can go and sit so that the audience can go and see them. That’s what it was about, really.

PS: What are your memories about Freddie’s family? This is our second topic. What are your memories about Bomi and Jer.

PF: I probably saw them five times in my entire life. He tried very much to keep his music life totally separate from his family. The music side of him did not really fit with their strict Zoroastrian faith. He didn’t want to push their noses in it. He would bring them to one show each tour of Europe when they [Queen] were in London, and that would be it.

PS: Even if you saw his parents five times or something, could you remember, in general, your impression of his father? As we can see his mother, Jer, in some documentaries. But what was his father like?

PF: His father was just quiet, very, very quiet. Which was unusual in that sort of family, because normally it was the male who was dominant, and the females were submissive. But it was very much the other way round with this family. The mother did a lot more talking. I probably had more to do with them after Freddie died than when he was alive, because I talked to them to find out what they needed for the service and everything. The whole world had had him for twenty odd years, he was owned by the world, so I felt it was only right particularly at this time that his parents got what they needed. They should never be burying their son. That’s not supposed to happen. So, for them to be able to deal with the whole thing I felt it was only right to actually accommodate them with the funeral service and everything. So that’s why I say that I probably spoke more with them then than at any time before.

PS: Do you have, maybe, any kind of memories of Freddie spending time together with his sister, Kashmira?

PF: She came to Garden Lodge not even as much as his parents did, because she lived in a different city, she lived in Nottingham. If their parents came to Garden Lodge, maybe, six times, she would have been there, maybe, three. They spoke on the phone every now and then, probably not even quite as much as with his mother. It wasn’t a close, close family like so many people believe families should be, but then I fully understood it, I fully understood his feelings there.

PS: Do you find any similarities between Kashmira and Freddie? Are they in some ways like each other?

PF: I think so. But I found out a lot more in the more recent years than while Freddie was alive. She enjoys her life with what Freddie has given her. And the way she honours Freddie because Freddie gave her 25% of his money. And she’s buying these really classy, good quality jewellery and cigarette cases and everything, and then she lends them to the Victoria and Albert Museum in Freddie’s name. So, she’s enjoying the money but letting the world know that it’s only through Freddie. I admire her for that. If Freddie was to actually be seeing what she’s doing, he would be over the moon because she’s enjoying the money. So many people just cannot, but she is, she is definitely enjoying it.

PS: She has a total right to do so.

PF: Yes, very much so, because she’s doing what, I believe, Freddie would have wished her to do. Because he enjoyed his money, so that’s why he gave it to her so that she could enjoy her life, enjoy things. And, as I say, the things that she buys she lends to museums in Freddie’s name. So, he’s still there, he’s still represented. I think that’s perfect.

PS: Our third topic is about Queen’s first tour in South America, as it was a very special one. What are your favourite memories about this one, if you can try to remember?

PF: The memory that sticks in the mind was the police escort that we had going back from the first show in Argentina. There are photographs all over the place, with John Deacon playing with the gun and them travelling in an armoured truck and that sort of stuff. That was something incredible. It’s something that you could tell your grandchildren you were there, it’s one of those things. The shows themselves were wonderful because Freddie was playing to the biggest audiences that he’d ever played to at that point. And he loved it, he loved being on the stage. The memories I have are more offstage than onstage. There was the very, very quick drive from the hotel to the airport after the show in Venezuela, because the president died that day and they were going to close the country down to go into state mourning. If the band and the set and everything were still there, we would never have been allowed to leave. There were no flights, there was nothing. So, we drove so, so fast through to get out before the lockdown happened there. It was amazing. And then, of course, there was Mexico, in Puebla where there was this old, old stadium. And the backstage, you just wouldn’t believe what was there. It was just broken down, old cement and concrete. No locks on doors. There was one toilet that we had to create a sign for, so when you went in you put “Engaged”, and when you came out you put “Vacant”. There was no lock on the door. And then, of course, that was where there was the problem with the crowd. The band didn’t know anything about, none of us did until afterwards. The reason that batteries and everything were thrown at them on the stage was because, apparently, before the fans could go in, the police took all the batteries out of recorders, cameras and everything, so none of the show could be recorded or filmed. But then when they were inside, the crowd could buy their batteries back. And the crowd thought that this was part of a deal with Queen and that’s why they started throwing stuff at them.

PS: Very extreme concerts, right?

PF: But when Freddie was on stage, he thoroughly enjoyed it. It really fulfilled his dreams.

PS: The fourth topic is: A lot of people ask you about Freddie, but we must remember that actually you were quite close with all Queen members. My question is about each of them. What are your special memories or stories? Let’s start with Brian.

PF: There’s a photograph. There was Brian, myself and Brian’s security. We were down by the pool. I cannot remember which hotel. I was lying on the grass in the sun and Brian was there and we were chatting. And then his bodyguard came and just sat on me. There’s a photograph of it on the internet. And Brian just sat there laughing. He just laughed and laughed and laughed, and didn’t do anything to help me.

PS: Any special memory about Roger in all those years with Queen?

PF: Again, this was in South America where he and I had a go-kart race, there was this amazing go-kart track near one of the cities. I was out there with Roger, there was a group of us out there. We had this amazing race. Because he loves cars, he’s always driving cars. He decided he was going to be champion go-kart driver. That was fun. All the things are fun that we did. John had the family with him [in South America] some of the time. I used to babysit his children. I think there were three boys at the time. There’s photographs round and about of me with John’s children playing around at the airport. I was there to make sure to keep an eye on them. The off-duty times were really good memories.

PS: The fifth topic. Freddie, in one of his interviews, said that he considered reading books not a very interesting activity. Could you please try to remember whether there was some certain book or books that had an important meaning for Freddie?

PF: In the twelve years I knew him, I never saw a book in his hand. He would read magazines, like Architectural Digest, because he just loved furnishing things inside the house, on the properties he owned. But I never really saw him reading a book. But, saying that, with the intelligence that he had, he must have read books. I think probably they are things that he learnt at school. He was very clever. I finished the boarding school at eleven, and he carried on until he was seventeen, so he probably would have learnt so much more that I did. But I never saw him with a book in his hand.

PS: In that case, could you please try to remember any theatre play or opera libretto that he liked because of the storyline or the characters?

PF: It started off as a play but then it was made into a film. He saw the play in London when they put it on. And it was called “The Women”. He found that fascinating. It was a comedy film about how women dealt with divorce and separation and love, and all that sort of thing. It was just very quick-witted. He loved everything. You had to listen carefully to understand the joke. In so many of these films, they do short, quick sentences. He would pay attention to those sort of things. That one he went to because he wanted to see the play. Most of the time, he went to see plays because of the people who were in it. His friends would invite him to a show. I bought the tickets and took him to see the play “Little Foxes” in New York, and not because he would be interested in the play or what’s going on, it was purely because Elizabeth Taylor was the star. A lot of the time, he went to these things because of who was in it rather than what it was.

PS: Was there any opera libretto that he liked the most because of the story or characters?

PF: Not specifically for story and characters, because anything that Montserrat could sing, he just loved listening to her voice. He didn’t have to know the story behind it. It’s just as well because in most operas you don’t understand the story, because this mother lost this son, he was taken away by someone else, or she stole another one, and then this son falls in love with this person but that’s his sister. You know, you really do not want to know the stories of operas, you just want to listen to them.

PS: Speaking about you, what are your favourite books and writers?

PF: It really depends on my mood at the time. Actually, I do quite like Stephen King, but not everything that he’s done. I mean, I like the general style of his writing, of his books. Operas, I have about 1,500 operas in mp3’s and on physical CD’s. And I will listen to one every day. It just really depends on the mood. Mainly things written by Rossini, Bellini, Donizetti and Verdi. The storyline is almost always the same, except if it’s based on a historic fact. It’s always a love story, sometimes it ends happily and other times she dies of consumption or she dies of something else. As I say, generally, you don’t pay attention to the words. I ask so many people, when they listen to a song for the first time, do they listen to the music or do they listen to the words? The vast majority of people listen to the music first. It’s the same with opera. He had to be able to read music, although he might say he couldn’t because he did those piano exams. You have to read music. But I don’t think he was so interested to actually pick up a school. He would not sit at the piano and play something from notes. That he couldn’t do, he just would create it himself.

PS: Speaking about Stephen King, as you mentioned him, do you like his book “The Shining” and the film with Jack Nicholson?

PF: Very good. That one I like very much. I like “The Shining”. I thought the book adaptation was actually very, very good. Another one that I like of his was “Salem’s Lot”; there is a miniseries made of that which actually reflected the book very, very well. Because Stephen King is involved with the films of his books most of the time, they tend to be much better versions of the books than so many films. So many films are supposed to be based on a book than have all of the director’s own ideas and what it should be like and everything else. So, when you look at the film, you actually wonder if you’re looking at the right film.

PS: Must agree with this. As a close friend of Freddie, as a writer yourself and as a book lover, here’s a special question: With whom could you compare Freddie amongst fictional characters from books?

PF: [laughs] Oh brother! There isn’t one. [laughs] Not in anything I’ve read that Freddie could compare with. I mean, maybe, there’s a little bit of Freddie in so many different characters. For example, Sir John Falstaff. I don’t remember which Shakespeare play he’s in, but he’s in a couple of operas. And just that character, I can see a bit of Freddie in there. Anything passionate I can see Freddie in. Anything with a love story in it, because that’s what he was always looking for. Anyone specific, no, I don’t think that exists. So, a book would have to be written around him.

PS: The next topic is: What was Freddie’s excitement like right before going on stage? Was he mostly visibly excited or otherwise calm and deep inside himself before the show?

PF: Really, most of the time when I was there with him getting ready for the show, there was always a rule that everybody, all friends and family had to be out of the dressing room at least half an hour before the show. They would have to sit in the guest room, so the band could, sort of, concentrate. In Freddie’s mind, there was no reason to panic because the show was going to happen whether he panicked or not. He was actually quite calm going into a show. He would pump himself up but on his own. He would just move his arms around and jump a little bit. And it wasn’t the excitement, it was just to get the body moving because he knew what he’d appear on the stage. His body would not stop moving for an hour and a half, two hours. He had to basically warm the body up a bit. Vocally, he would do a little bit of vocal exercises, but not specific exercises, he would just hit notes to try and place his voice, so he had some idea of what he was going to do that night. But there was no visible excitement. I suppose, perhaps, there was more excitement in South America than any other show that I was at, because of the size of the audience and because it was a first. Any of the shows they did in South America were a first, they’d never been done before. There was a bit of excitement because he didn’t know what was going to happen. When he was touring the normal America, Europe, it was things he’d done before, so he knew what to expect.

PS: Speaking about backstage before the concert, we can actually see you walking with Freddie in Los Angeles, and there we can also see Michael Jackson. Do you remember this show and Michael backstage with Freddie?

PF: Again, there’s pictures of it. That was more after the show where Freddie went into the guest room. They actually started in the dressing room, because nobody was allowed in the dressing room half an hour before and half an hour after while they got changed. But once they had come down from the show, a few special guests would be allowed into the dressing room, but then the band would go into the green room where all the artists and guests were. I remember seeing Freddie talking with Michael. It was just interesting for me to see these two who were at the peak of their performances, although they were so different but they were so similar. I know it sounds stupid, but that’s what I felt.

PS: What is your favourite memory of you and Freddie visiting Michael?

PF: There’s too many, I suppose. For me, it’s playing video games with Michael Jackson, because he had this big room where he had the arcade versions of video games. He just picked one and called Freddie and me over, and we were playing. There was this old-fashioned tennis thing. An oblong screen and on each side, you had a pedal that you moved up and down to hit the ball. We were playing that. It was wonderful. It was actually in Encino, the house before Neverland, the house that his mother lives in now. But, I suppose, the thing that I took away with me from that day was purely the fact that Michael didn’t treat me any differently than how he treated Freddie. Whatever happened in his life, whatever the truth is, the way that man treated me will stay with me all of my life because, as I say, it was no different at all from how he treated Freddie.

PS: He was very open to you, right?

PF: Yes.

PS: Speaking about the opposite of the before stage time, what was Freddie like after the concert? What was his mood mostly like?

PF: Mostly, he was up. In the dressing room, immediately after the show, there would be shouting and screaming for anything that went wrong. They always wanted to give a perfect show, and when they couldn’t it was hard. They would really get it out of their system. But once that had been done, he was generally always in a good mood. He just couldn’t wait to get out. I understand why he was out every night, because you cannot go to bed after a show like that, you’re just so full of adrenaline it just wouldn’t work.

PS: It’s like the second wave coming?

PF: Yeah. All the adrenaline that appeared during the stage show had to go somewhere, it doesn’t drain off in five minutes. That’s why he was out until four or five in the morning.

PS: At what time did Freddie usually go to sleep?

PF: It depends on what we were doing. I would think that average time would be between three and four.

PS: Three and four in the morning, right?

PF: Yeah. Sometimes he might go at two, and if he was in the studio, sometimes he might go to bed at six.

PS: How many hours did he usually sleep?

PF: He was usually awake by nine o’clock, so he would normally sleep for six or seven hours.

PS: Did he have any kind of repeated night dreams that he, maybe, told you about?

PF: No, nothing like that. He never told me anything. He would say he had a good night or a bad night but wouldn’t really go into description of dreams.

PS: You mentioned many times that your favourite Freddie song is “My Melancholy Blues.” Could you please try to describe why it is your favourite song?

PF: Yeah, because it’s so very, very different, because as soon as you mention the name Queen you automatically think of big harmonies, multilayered guitars, just huge songs. And this was just the total opposite. It’s just got a piano, a bass, a bit of drums and a voice. It’s all so partly autobiographical of Freddie’s party. He used to have so many parties, but in the end the party’s over, he would find someone else. The party doesn’t have to be a party with drinks and all the rest of it, it could just be a good time he had with someone. It’s just the total opposite of your classic Queen song. It’s just so quiet, it’s so personal.

PS: Could you please quote your favourite line from the lyrics?

PF: I suppose it has to be the opening line. “Another party’s over and I’m left stone cold sober.” It’s just Freddie, it sums up Freddie.

PS: Was he really a bit sentimental and sad when the real parties were over?

PF: Sentimental, maybe, but not sad, because most parties that he had were usually a success, so he would be happy and sentimental. The thing is, if that one’s over, there can always be a next one. There’s no need to be sad.

PS: What is your very, very first memory and image of Freddie when you first met him?

PF: Oh, that’s easy, I know exactly. He’s not very tall, is he? He was 175 cm and I was 187 cm. I looked down at him. You look, everybody imagines Freddie to be a giant because of the videos, because of the way he is on stage. He just looks huge. So many videos are shot from just a little bit looking upwards which makes him look taller. It was great, just looking at him and thinking, “He’s not tall.” His personality, his aura certainly made up for that, because he could walk into a room and every head would turn. They could feel Freddie Mercury had walked into the room.

PS: The very first moment you saw him, did he walk into the room or did you walk into the room where he already was?

PF: I walked into the room because he was already there talking with some friends. This was after the Royal Ballet Gala. And then he, sort of, looked, he wasn’t talking and looking around, and I just went to him and I just had to tell him how wonderful I thought the whole evening was. It wasn’t like he was this massive great superstar who I was scared of, because I’d been dealing with stars for the last four years and people who he considered were real big stars. He often used to say how proud he was of the fact that he took me away from the opera house where real big stars performed.

PS: What was his response to your comments about his show? What was your first conversation like?

PF: It was strange because I expected it to be rock’n’roll, rough, the way he talked on stage, but he was polite, he was a gentleman. That was all totally unexpected, because you expect a rock’n’roll star just to have the words ready on the end of his tongue for this and that. And the only reason that he spoke with me, because normally he would not speak to a total stranger, was because his friends were around him. One of them could easily have taken him away if he wasn’t happy. That’s all he needed. But then we started talking and it was it. I mean, it was just a three- or four-minute conversation, not a lot. As I say, from the very start, I could not be over how polite he was.

PS: So it was enough for him to spend, like, four or five minutes with you to later contact you and ask you to work with him on tour?

PF: Yes. As I say, whatever happened in those four or five minutes obviously worked because of that phone call a week later. I can imagine, he would be talking with Paul Prenter because they were going out on tour and they didn’t have anybody looking after their costumes because Dane had walked out. I can imagine him, “Look, I was talking to someone, he does costumes at the opera house for the ballet. Why don’t we try and call him?” I can imagine how it was because I know him and what he was like.

PS: As you mentioned Paul Prenter, was there anything good in Freddie’s relationship with him? Do you remember any good moments with Paul Prenter?

PF: He kept Freddie happy for a lot of the time. He kept Freddie company. Freddie was never alone when he was around. Paul was always there. But he’s got that bad reputation and all the rest of it, which sort of he’s deserved. He did care about Freddie.

PS: Concluding our final part, Freddie Mercury would have been 75 years old this year, but if we imagine Freddie was born, let’s say, in 1986 and if he was only 35 years old today in the year 2021, in our modern times, what do you think he would be like today?

PF: That’s so hard to say because life is so different. At that age, he would have grown up with computers. If things still carried on like they have done, I don’t think he would be happy because people don’t buy albums anymore, they don’t buy CD’s, they don’t buy physical, everything is “download.” Part of the joy for him was designing the album covers. He hated working at home, he refused to work at home. But nowadays you have to work at home and then take your music into the studio to get it mixed. I don’t think he would be really comfortable in this time. Because there’s no music like Queen have done, that doesn’t exist anymore. There are no bands who do things like that anymore. Or the bands that do, they are all in their 70s. His music would go nowhere. I also personally believe we are all here where we’re supposed to be. I think, if Freddie had a real big choice, he would have been born fifty years earlier because he was that sort of Victorian, Edwardian gentleman. He was a real gentleman. And that sort of existence wasn’t around when Freddie would have been able to enjoy it. But then, how many rock stars do you know that have had at one point the largest private collection of antique Japanese woodblock prints? That just isn’t rock’n’roll, is it?

PS: And if he was 75 this year, in his 70s, what would he be like today?

PF: He would be miserable because he never ever wanted to be old. As you get older, you cannot physically do what you used to do. A 70-year-old cannot, in the very, very best of health, do what a 30-year-old can do. It’s just physically impossible. That deterioration would have upset him so much.

PS: If Freddie could talk to the new generation, our present teenagers and young people of today, what would his message to them have been?

PF: The thing I always got from him was that he cared for others just as much as he cared for himself. He did not put himself first, above anybody else. He just wanted to treat everybody nicely. That’s what he was like. And I think that’s what he would try and tell people nowadays because that doesn’t exist very much either anymore. Because this now is a world of “me, me, me.”

PS: So his message, in general, would be something like “You should take care of each other more”?

PF: Take care of each other, yeah.

PS: And if he could talk to exactly Queen fans, what would his message be today?

PF: “Well, just carry on and enjoy the music.” Because that’s something that all the Queens fans did. They loved the music. They’re the ones who are keeping it going now and creating new fans. So many students say to me, “My mother and father were huge Queen fans.” It’s going through the generations. Freddie has been gone thirty years, but people are still listening to his music as much now as they ever did.

PS: And we all hope that people will continue to listen to his music.

PF: No reason why not. We still listen to Rimsky-Korsakov, we still listen to Mozart. And they’re long gone.

PS: And he will be remembered for thirty, fifty and more years.

PF: I remember, this was a few years ago, when it was Mozart’s 250th birthday or something. And I did an interview and I said it would not surprise me at all that if in two hundred years people would still listening to Queen music, as they were still listening to Mozart. Because good music carries on.

PS: Let it be this way in years to come.

SPECIAL THANKS TO VALUREX FOR CONTRIBUTION AND ASSISTENCE

[jaylamcd68]

The Rookie 3x14

GUYS I CAN’T I AM TOO SHOOK.. but I will .. god this episode was SO good though, literally the entire time I was giddy, but you just KNEW they were going to do us dirty with a cliffhanger!!!

Last week I broke it down into character arcs but it was way to blended this week so its basically going to be a walk-through of the whole episode scene by scene.

Nyla gives Lucy one last talk as she prepares to go under. Lucy then is seen just wasting time in her time in her cover motel room waiting to see if someone is going to contact her. Wopez’s wedding venue was raided by the FBI - she says they’re getting married on Saturday at the court house Tamara and Silos help out Wesley’s mother to plan a new wedding in 2 days time. Nolan gets a knock on the door from a girl dog sitting for his neighbours who got locked out. He helps her out and they plan to see each other later. Smitty is Nolan’s TO for the day (Hilarious) Aldo’s brother Dahrio Salonga and crew break into Lucy’s motel room and tell her she needs to cook for them, they tell her they are taking her for a ride somewhere and make her leave her gun but Lucy gets her spare from the closet. They make her leave her phone behind. The wedding planning trio arrive at the new venue which is closed for repairs. Wesley’s mother tells the man in charge there that her son is getting married here on Saturday - Nolan connected with some construction contacts to have the repairs finished early so they could use the venue. Nolan talks with Cesar’s girlfriend to try and get her to convince him to contact the police to make a deal to torpedo his old business since it’s now under the control of La Fiera. Nolan then dislocates his finger chasing down a shoplifting suspect. Lucy is driving with Dahrio and Bob Morely’s character who’s name I didn’t catch, they tell her they are robbing a chemical supply store to get the necessary supplies to make what they need. Lucy speeds through an intersection and gets pulled over BUT ITS JACKSON AND TIM. Dahrio says he’s going to shoot the officers because she is supposedly out on bail, Bob Morely’s character has a warrant for his arrest and the car they are driving is stolen, so of course Lucy is like WHAT no, so she tells them she hasn’t gotten a ticket since she was 16 because she always flirts her way out of it so when Tim asks her for her license and registration Lucy PAINFULLY flirts with Tim, I honestly couldn’t even enjoy it because it was SO bad, but imma let my girl slide on this one since Tim and Jackson’s lives were at stake. Anyways Tim gets what she is trying to do and let’s them go, with Lucy giving them some info to pass onto Nyla as well in secret by saying they were late to pick up party supplies for her brother so they catch on that its Aldo’s brother and the supplies are to cook something. They hit up the chemical supply store, and Bob Morely’s character is a creep and is purposely toying with one of the girls who works there, terrifying her. Lucy is not having it and almost gets into it with him. Lucy notices a camera at the warehouse and doesn’t leave the property with any of the stolen merchandise meaning she didn’t commit a crime and she is good for being a UC. Nolan and Smitty get in contact with Cesar but one of La Fiera’s snipers is there who shoots him! A wonderful moment of Tim being worried about Lucy talking with Nyla and how he thinks she’s over her head and she won’t tell people to pull her out because she’s not a quitter. Nyla says Lucy is supposed to have a check in at midnight so she will check if she’s still good, Tim tells Nyla to call him as soon as she hears from Lucy. I AM IN LOVE with the wedding planning committee - Tamara, Silos, Jackson, Tim, Wesley and his mom organizing the last minute details, Tamara talking about Cardi B and Wesleys mom wanting to know who she is and Wesley being like hell naw😂 Nolan’s date comes over and his ethics professor is there because he wants to talk about his options re: the DA wanting to charge the suspect he was chasing when he dislocated his finger with a felony assault charge. Professor Ryan talks about the systemic problem of the DA’s office over charging people. Nyla tells Tim that Lucy missed her check in. They are super worried because any product that Lucy makes cannot end up on the street or she’ll have committed a crime so they know she will die trying to stop it from happening if they can’t find her before then.

Lucy has made a batch of meth and they want to deliver it and she is panicking trying to come up with a way to delay that when they get rolled up on by La Fiera and her people. In the chaos Lucy is able to call in to let them know where she is. La Fiera recognizes Lucy but doesn’t know from where. Lucy hears her backup arrive and maneuvers the gun pulled to her head away from the guy holding it and aims it at La Fiera telling her she’s a cop and she’s under arrest. At that moment Lopez comes in saying she stole her line. Tim is with her and when Lucy asks how they got there so fast he tells her when she didn’t check in they had 400 officers searching for her all night. Nolan teams up with Grey to talk with the DA lawyer. Grey spoke with different police officers organizing so that they won’t cooperate with the DA’s office if they are overcharging people. Nolan made an enemy in the DA’s office!! Speaking of people making enemies, Lopez is locking up La Fiera in a cell and La Fiera says that she isn’t going to stay in jail to which Lopez tells her stop kidding herself. Lopez then goes for the jugular telling La Fiera that she is the reason why Diego is dead, because she used him as a cover to speak with Cesar’s father. Lopez closes the door and La Fiera looks like she’s trying to murder Angela with her eyes!!! ITS FINALLY WEDDING TIME (AND LUCY ISN’T UNDERCOVER!!) Tim is speaking with Angela and telling her that she owes him for life. Tamara comes up to Tim asking for superglue, hair pins, and HIS BADGE?! he is like uhm why?? and Tamara just gives him a look like we don’t have time for stupid questions and he just says he will handle whatever this is and tells Angela to go get ready. Jackson comes up to Wesley and his mother because Angela doesn’t have her something old/new/borrowed/blue. Wesley’s mom gives her an antique broach that her own grandmother wore at her wedding. Nolan brought his new friend Bailey to the wedding and Jackson asks to borrow something from him. Nolan gives Jackson a key chain Henry made for him as a child. Jackson steals Grey’s pocket square because it’s blue. CUE SCREAMING FOR THE CHENFORD MOMENT: Grey is speaking with Nyla when Lucy walks up to them, they are telling her she is back to normal come Monday and Lucy says she actually misses normal AS SHE IS LOOKING AT TIM. Then she goes up to him and compliments him on the nice suit and that Nova would approve, Tim banters back by saying Nova was a little thirsty 😂😍😂😍 to which Lucy responds that Nova was assertive😍❤️. Tim compliments Chen on her good work undercover taking down two major drug traffickers in her first solo undercover assignment. Cue the amazing Chen, save me a dance quote from the promo. Then we have Jackson delivering all his rounded up supplies to Angela. They share an emotional hug.

The major spoilers are below: CUE THE SCREAMS OF TERROR because the next scene is La Fiera in the transport van and you just know things are going downhill from here 😭😭😭 the van gets ambushed and La Fiera escapes. Tamara was looking for Jackson to deliver the wedding bouquet and John says he can deliver it to Lopez. But the camera pans back and Angela is being held at gunpoint by a masked man. When John arrives the room is empty and he doesn’t think anything of it until he sees the bracelet that Angela has been wearing every day since La Fiera gave it to her on the floor .. AND THEN ITS JUST OVER!!! I CANT. NO WEDDING, NO IDEA WHERE LOPEZ IS, IF SHES ALIVE, NOTHING. AHHHHHHHH I CANT. (Also my chenford heart is so sad that we aren’t going to get the dance even though I didn’t think we would but I thought it would be because she went UC not because the episode ends on a cliffhanger on whether the bride even made it😭😭😭)

[joneswuzhere]

hello join me in thinking about some books and authors that are, or might be, part of s5′s intertextuality

5.10 in particular offered specific shout outs, and also u know i’m always wondering what might be ahead so i have some ideas on that:

- first, as mentioned in a previous ask post, i know i wasn’t alone in keeping an eye out for 5.10 parallels to the lost weekend (1945) the film that gave episode 1.10 its name and several themes - or to the 1944 book by charles r jackson which the film is based on

- s5 has not been shy about revisiting earlier seasons, especially s1. altho i feel that 1.10′s parallels to the lost weekend centered characters other than jughead (mostly betty), a 1.10-5.10 connection involving jughead and themes from jackson’s story (addiction, writers block, self reflection) seemed v possible if not inevitable

- but like,, , for a hot minute after the ep, i was really stumped on understanding how anything from the book or film could apply, even tho the pieces were almost all there

- jackson’s protagonist don birnam goes thru and comes out the other side of a harrowing days-long drinking binge that could be compared to jughead’s one-night hallucinogenic writing retreat

- but jughead is struggling primarily with traumatic memories, not addiction and self control like birnam. and tho drinking activates birnam’s creativity, it paralyzes his writing as he gets lost in fantasies; he’s never published anything. jughead’s drug trip recreates circumstances that already helped him write one successful book. even the rat that startles him mid-high doesn’t line up with birnam’s withdrawal vision of a dying mouse, symbolic of his horror at his own self-destruction thru alcohol

- and maybe the most visible discordance: in the film there’s a romantic motif around a typewriter. first it’s an object of shame; birnam’s failure to write, tied up with his drinking, makes him flee his relationship. he tries to pawn the typewriter for booze money and finally a gun when shooting himself feels easier than getting sober. but with the help of relentless encouragement from girlfriend helen, he quits drinking, commits to her, and focuses on typing out the story he’s dreamt of writing. rd goes so far to avoid setting any comparable scenario that jughead has brought a wholeass printer into the bunker so there can still be a physical manuscript to cover in blood by the end, even without his own typewriter. the subtle detail of his laptop bg image is a little less noticeable than his avoidance of betty’s gift

- tabitha might be closer to a parallel than jughead is, but she’s still no helen. both refuse to take advantage of the inebriated men in their care, but birnam takes advantage of helen, financially and emotionally. jughead refused a loan from the tate family and now has resolved to deal with his shit before he considers a relationship with tabitha. instead of helen’s relentless and unwelcomed attempts to get birnam sober, tabitha reluctantly agrees to help jughead trip safely bondage escape notwithstanding. she even helps him get the drugs.

- whatever potentials exist for parallels to jackson’s story, they were not explored for this episode. ok so why tf am i even talking about this? what was there instead?

-  i have arrived at the point

- s5 has been revisiting s1, not directly but with a twist. and jughead’s agent samm pansky is back. u may recall, pansky is named for sam lansky

- jughead’s trip-thru-trauma is a story device tapped straight from lansky’s book ‘broken people’

- lansky is like if a millenial john rechy wrote extremely LA-flavored meta but just about himself no jk very like a modern successor to charles r jackson. both play with the boundary between memoir and fiction. lansky is gay; jackson wrote his lost weekend counterpart as closeted and remained closeted himself until only a few years before his death. both write with emotional clarity and self-scrutiny on the experiences of addiction, sobriety, and the surrounding issues of shame and self worth

- i feel like a fool bc after this ep i had been thinking about de quincey and his early writings on addiction (c.1800s), but i failed to carry the thought in the other direction, to contemporary writers in the genre, to make this connection sooner

- lansky’s second book, broken people, follows narrator ‘sam’, mid-20s, super depressed, hastled by his agent to write a decent follow-up to his first book, but too busy struggling with his self-worth and baggage from several past relationships. desperate, he takes up an offer to visit a new age shaman who promises to fix everything wrong with him in a matter of days. not to over simplify it but he literally spends a weekend doing psychedelics and hallucinating about his exes. jughead took note

- unless u want me to hurl myself into yet another dissertation about queer jughead, i think his parallel to sam - who, unlike jughead, has considerable financial privilege and whose anxieties center on body dysmorphia, hiv scares, and his own self-centeredness - pretty much ends there

- But,, the gist of the book could not be more harmonius with a major theme shared by the 2 films that inform the actual hallucination part of jughead’s bunker scene: mentally reframing past relationships to get closure + confronting trauma head-on in order to move forward

- so that’s neat. what other book and author stuff was in 5.10?

- stephen king and raymond carver get name dropped. i’m passingly familiar with them both but u bet i just skimmed their wiki bios in case anything relevant jumped out

- like jughead, carver was a student (later a lecturer) at the iowa writers workshop. also the son of an alcoholic and one himself

- i recall carver’s ‘what we talk about when we talk about love’ is what jughead was reading in 2.14 ‘the hills have eyes’ after he finds out about the first time betty kissed archie (at that time he does not respond as would any of carver’s characters)

- this collection of carver stories deals especially with infidelity, failings of communication, and the complexities and destructiveness of love. to unashamedly quote the resource that is course hero, ‘carver renders love as an experience that is inherently violent bc it produces psychic and emotional wounds.’ very fun to wonder about the significance of this collection within the s2 episode and in jughead’s thoughts. and maybe now in the context of the s5 state of relationships. or, at least, the state of jughead’s writing as seen by his agent

- anyway pansky doesn’t want carver, he wants stephen king

- i have too much to say about gerald’s game in 5.10, that’s getting its own post someday soon

- lol wait king’s wife is named tabitha uhhh king’s wiki reminded me of his childhood experience that possibly inspired his short story ‘the body’ (+1986 movie ‘stand by me’) when he ‘apparently witnessed one of his friends being struck and killed by a train tho he has no memory of the event’

- no mention of that in this rd episode but memories of a train could be interesting to consider with the imagery that intrudes on jughead’s hallucination. i still feel like it was a truck but the lights and sounds he experiences may be a train

- ok now we’re in the speculation part of today’s segment

- if jughead’s traumatic memory involves trains, then it’s possible this plot will take influence from la bête humaine <- this 1938 movie is based on the 1890 novel by french writer émile zola. this story deals with alcoholism and possessive jealousy in relationships, sometimes leading to murder. huh, kind of like carver. zola def comes down on the nature side of the nature-vs-nuture bad seed question (tho i should say he approaches this with great or maybe just v french compassion). also i can’t tell if this is me reaching but, something about la bête humaine reminds me of king’s ‘secret window’ which we’ve observed to be at least a style influence on jughead post time jump

- but wow a late-19th century french writer would be a random thing to drop into this season, right? then again zola also wrote about miners, which we’ve learned are an important part of this town’s history + whatever hiram is up to this time.  and most notably, zola wrote ‘j’accuse...!’ an open letter in defense of a soldier falsely accused and unlawfully jailed for treason: alfred dreyfus. archie’s recent army trouble comes to mind.

- since the introduction of old man dreyfuss (plausibly Just a nod to close encounters actor richard dreyfuss, but also when is anything in this show Just one thing) i’ve been wondering if these little things could add up to a season-long reference to zola’s writings. but i had doubts and didn’t want to speak on it too soon bc, u know, it’s weird but is it weird enough for riverdale??

- however,,,

- (come on, u knew where i was going with this)

- a24′s film zola just came out. absolutely no relation to the french writer, it’s not based on a book but an insane and explicit twitter thread by aziah ‘zola’ wells about stripping and? human trafficking?? this feels ripe for rd even outside the potentials here for the lonely highway/missing girls plot.

- that would add up to a combination of homage that feels natural to this show

- anyway pls understand i’m just having fun speculating, most of this is based on nothing more concrete than the torturous mental tendril ras has hooked into my skull pls let go ras pls let go

[uno-writing]

AHHHHHHH this is unrelated to uno but my friend and I dared eachother to read something thatd make us cry, and I made her read the boxer and I'm on the floor sobbing over gourmet hound 😭😭 neither of us have done any work for like two days we're just binge reading

This is like, exactly how I felt when I was reading uno, but to a less extreme degree. Any of y'all felt uno legit messing with you mentally? Like actually I should've taken a break while reading it but I just read it continuously over thee days straight and was mentally and emotionally exhausted for a week after lol. I always stop rereading when the joker arc starts up bc I honestly can't handle it 😅

ik people call uno cheesy and it is, but what I felt while reading it was so intense. Ive felt that way over a precious few pieces of media. And it's so strange. I can't find a pattern at all. It isn't very well written, and the storyline is vaugely problematic, and tbh I've seen better world building, but I still love it. Same for other media I've loved, I can admit that I've read better, but I still, for some reason, resonated with these totally random (?) ones the most

If anyone's slightly curious the other works I've loved as much as uno (I call these things soul art make fun of me) are eleceed by jeho son and ZHENA (available on webtoon), the poppy war by R F kuang, his dark materials by Philip Pullman, and the Percy Jackson series and the heroes of Olympus series by Rick Riordan (pls don't pick on me lol). Ofc there's been stuff that's sent me into various states of existencial crisis but the characters from these works have literally always stayed with me

And Ik no one can psyco analyze me with these bc there's no way someone here has read them all mwahahaha *knocks on wood*

This was nothing really just a random baring of the soul to people who might relate 🥴

- Boba anon 🧋

Oh my god the mortifying ordeal of being known what have i done this is too personal ahhhh I'm to emotional rn I'm deff gon regret this later

UnO definitely delves into many serious topics. Like thinking back about the comic and everything that’s happened is definitely intense.🍿🥤🍭🍬🍫🧋🥨🥬🍦🍧🧊🐇🍩🥖📦🌻

I also gotta say that UnO has been one of my longest lasting passions (idk if that’s the right word lmao). I first started reading it around the time John’s ability was first revealed (i gotta admit, that was the only time of my reading uno that I’ve come close to being a jimp lmao) then I put it down for about a year and I came back and that kept happening to this point. Like most stuff that I completely put down I don’t pick up again. I could probably count on one hand the content that I’ve put down and picked up with the same passion.

I love UnO so much. Like I think that’s part of the reason I have so many criticisms about it just bc it has so much potential bc it’s already amazing with all of its flaws. I don’t think I’ve consumed a piece of media that I’d consider ‘flawless’, but UnO is sooooo close to being perfect in my opinion. The criticisms I do have are things that would be so easily fixed.

And dude, you’ve already issued the challenge. The psychiatrist anons are gonna flock to you now. You did not learn from my mistake lmao It's like self fulfilling prophecy now. You're going to get psychoanalyzed

Now they're not gonna do it bc I said this with such confidence lmao

[introvertguide]

Saving Private Ryan (1998); AFI #71

The next film on the list is one of the best films of any genre, Saving Private Ryan (1998). This is what I consider the best war film of all time despite how overwhelming it is to watch. Maybe it is because it is so difficult to watch, since the movie was nominated for 11 Academy Awards and received five trophies. Because of the ensemble cast and almost complete lack of women, the film was never going to garner much in the way of acting awards. Like the soldiers who they hoped to portray, these actors shouldn’t have expected much individual recognition. This movie affected me greatly, and I would like to delve into that after going through the story line.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!!! BECAUSE OF THE NATURE OF THE FILM, EVERYTHING THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE REVEALED AS FAR AS PLOT IS GIVEN AWAY BELOW!!! 

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In the present day, an elderly man visits the Normandy Cemetery with his family. At a tombstone, he falls to his knees in anguish. The establishing shots showing the mass of grave stones is overwhelming from the get-go. The movie transitions from the graveyard to a landing boat at the battle of Normandy. Be prepared because it is about to get rough.

On the morning of June 6, 1944, American soldiers land at Omaha Beach as part of the Normandy invasion. Everything goes bad immediately as machine guns and mortars literally tear the landing soldiers to shreds. Soldiers are screaming for their mothers as they die on the beach. There is no going back into the ocean so the soldiers have run into the machine gun fire. Captain John H. Miller (Tom Hanks) of the 2nd Ranger Battalion leads a breakout from the beach that makes it through to the German encampment. It is about 15 minutes of carnage and nobody will blame you if you want to forward through this until the action cools down. Elsewhere on the beach, a dead soldier lies face-down in the bloody surf; his pack is stenciled Ryan, S. It is at this point I would recommend taking a breather if you need one.

Continuing on, we are shifted to Washington, D.C., at the War Department (keep an eye out for Bryan Cranston with one arm), where General George C. Marshall learns that three of the four sons of the Ryan family were killed in action within a short time of one another. Daniel Ryan in New Guinea shortly before D-Day, Sean Ryan at Omaha Beach, and Peter Ryan at Utah Beach: all dead with letters arriving the same day for their mother. The fourth son, James Francis Ryan, is with the 101st Airborne Division somewhere in Normandy. After reading Abraham Lincoln's Bixby letter, which is meant to comfort grieving parents, aloud, Marshall orders Ryan found and brought home.

Three days after D-Day, Miller receives orders to find Ryan and bring him back. He chooses seven men from his company for the job—T/Sgt. Mike Horvath (Tom Sizemore), Privates First Class Richard Reiben (Edward Burns) and Adrian Caparzo (Vin Diesel), Privates Stanley Mellish (Adam Goldberg) and Daniel Jackson (Barry Pepper), T/4 medic Irwin Wade (Giovanni Ribisi) and T/5 Timothy Upham (Jeremy Davies), an interpreter from the 29th Infantry Division. The group moves out to Neuville where they meet a squad of the 101st engaged against the enemy and both Ted Danson and Paul Giamatti show up. THe group searching for Ryan bump into a stranded French family who try to give over their children but a German sniper breaks up the party. Caparzo is killed by a German sniper, who is then killed by Jackson (who makes the most amazing shot that legends are made of). They locate a Private James Ryan (Nathan Fillion), only to learn that he is James Frederick Ryan. On the point of giving up, the Captain starts asking random passing soldiers and learns that Ryan is defending an important bridge in Ramelle.

Near Ramelle, Miller decides to neutralize a German machine gun position at a derelict radar station, despite his men's misgivings. It does not go well and the medic, Wade, is killed in the process. They take a German soldier that they name Steamboat Willie (Joerg Stadler) who gives up willingly and pleads for his life. The men are angry and want to kill the soldier since they can’t take any extras, so, at Upham's urging, Miller frees the surviving German soldier. Losing confidence in Miller's leadership, Reiben declares his intention to desert, prompting a confrontation with Horvath, who threatens to shoot him. Miller defuses the standoff by disclosing his civilian career as a high school English teacher in a small Pennsylvania town.

At Ramelle, they find Ryan (Matt Damon) among a small group of paratroopers preparing to defend the key bridge against an imminent German attack. Miller tells Ryan that his brothers are dead, and that he was ordered to bring him home. Ryan is distressed about his brothers, but is unwilling to leave his post. Miller combines his unit with the paratroopers in defense of the bridge. He devises a plan to ambush the enemy with two .30-caliber machine guns, Molotov cocktails, anti-tank mines, and improvised satchel charges made from socks. It is basically suicide so the bridge is wired to explode in case it can’t be held. 

Now is a time to take a breather if you need one because it is about to get bad again. Elements of the 2nd SS Panzer Division arrive with two Tiger tanks and two Marder tank destroyers, all protected by infantry. The small American group holds off the force the best they can, Although they inflict heavy damage on the Germans, nearly all of the paratroopers, along with Jackson, Mellish and Horvath, are killed. It turns out that Steamboat Willie joined the group and he personally kills Mellish with a Nazi youth knife (it is horrible) and shoots Miller Captain Miller as he attempts to blow up the bridge. Miller crawls to retrieve the bridge detonator, and fires ineffectually but defiantly with his pistol at an oncoming tank. As the tank reaches the bridge, an American P-51 Mustang flies overhead and destroys the tank, after which American armored units arrive to rout the remaining Germans. With the Germans in full retreat, Upham emerges from hiding and shoots Steamboat Willie dead, having witnessed him shooting Miller, but allows his fellow soldiers to flee.

Miller tells Ryan to “earn this” before dying from his injuries. As the scene transitions to the present, Ryan is revealed to be the veteran from the beginning of the film, and is standing in front of Miller's grave expressing his gratitude for the sacrifices Miller and his unit made in the past. Ryan asks his wife if he was worthy of such sacrifice, to which she replies that he is. The final scene shows Ryan saluting Miller's grave and fades to the American flag gently waving in the breeze.

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I really have a hard time getting through this film without pausing and taking a breather. I saw the film in the theater when I was 18, so my friends and I were all around the age that these soldiers would have been that rushed that beach and retook France. It was truly terrifying. Now I am old and have back issues, so I wouldn’t be put on a front line, but the kids that I work with and care for would be the exact age to be caught in a draft and that scares me even more. The creative ways in which man finds to kill one another is the greatest threat to humanity. 

The first two times I saw the film, I did not realize that it was the same German soldier that the group had captured who eventually killed many of the group we were following. It really changes the message in the end. I had thought that Captain Miller had showed his humanity showing mercy, but it turns out that this mercy is misplaced. Now it seems like Spielberg is saying that neither humanity, nor religion, nor innocence, nor skill, nor even intelligence can save a man in the heat of battle. The only way to live is to watch the back of your group and protect each other like family.

There was a little bit of a travesty that occurred at the Academy in early 1999, because this film lost out in the Best Picture category to Shakespeare in Love. This is the same year that also saw Saving Private Ryan, The Truman Show, Life is Beautiful, Elizabeth, and The Thin Red Line. There had to be something behind that because I wouldn’t consider the winner even in the top 5. Shakespeare in Love is considered one of the worst Best Picture winners along with Crash and The Artist. Oscars are not everything and this movie is one of the best examples of this.

When I say that some of the scenes from this movie are difficult, I really do mean it. There was a hotline set up for people who have PTSD that was triggered by the film. One of the actual members of the 101st Airborne, Major Richard Winters, was consulted about the occurrences surrounding the attack. He said that it brought up many memories that he had worked hard to suppress because he had been taught that war veterans couldn’t express the psychological pain of battle. He also said that it was an important film that revealed what war was really like.

On Veteran’s Day in 2001 and 2004, ABC aired the film uncut with limited commercial interruptions. Living in California, I was able to watch the film on both of those occasions and remember getting my girlfriend at the time to watch in 2004. The film has become like a memorial to Americans lost in the European Campaign during WW2, so I treat viewing as a badge of honor and understanding, no matter how difficult it is to watch.

This film is a pretty easy answer when it comes to the standard questions for the most part. Does this film belong on the AFI top 100? Of course. It is the new benchmark for which all American war films will be judged. It is historically accurate, it is beautifully shot and directed, and it leaves a lasting impression far longer than just about any movie I have seen. Would I recommend it? This one has an age warning. It is not appropriate for young children because the first and last battle scenes are nightmare fuel. Even worse, they are apparently very realistic. It is hard to recommend something that is so scarring, but it will keep people for glorifying battle. It is horrific and should be avoided as much as possible. And that is a lesson that I believe this movie teaches better than any other. So please give this movie a watch and feel free to take a break if you need it.