#JUST WHEN I THINK IM GONNA BE NORMAL ABOUT THESE TWO FUCKING IDIOTS
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“Belovéd,” Yves Olade
#JUST WHEN I THINK IM GONNA BE NORMAL ABOUT THESE TWO FUCKING IDIOTS#I love them so much and I’m such a sucker for angst#this poem was one that just absolutely wrecked me as a teenager. I was in my sad lesbian yearning hours 24/7#good omens#crowley#ineffable husbands#good omens 2#aziracrow#aziraphale#go2#ineffable lovers#ineffable wives#good omens season 2#good omens edit#yves olade#goodomensedit#gomens#gomens 2#David tennant#michael sheen#ineffable divorce#final fifteen#no nightingales#good omens poetry
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Had an ADHD assessment a few years ago and the fuckwit that assessed me said, as a direct quote, "You're too smart to have ADHD." Like that's not any type of paraphrasing, that stupid fucking statement is burned in my brain forever and has been since I heard it.
I talked to my psychiatrist about getting a referral to a different psychologist for assessment, and she agreed and sent it in.
Today I got a call that said they don't agree that I need reassessment, and I'm welcome to pursue it elsewhere, but they won't provide reassessment. Which is just.
I don't even know where to start with that one. I just needed to get it out. I'm so tired.
#'we really dont think youre adhd so were not even going to let you pay to check again'#WHAT#thats an option?#they can just say that they really dont think its a problem for me so they wont waste their time?#the first fuckwit that assessed me said im too fucking smart to have adhd!!#thats not a fucking compliment and every professional ive spoken to since then has said 'yesh thats not right tey for reassessment'#i just had to write this down because#this morning i was showering before work and they called me and left a message#so i checked the message right before work cuz i saw it was them and i assumed they wanted to set up the reassessment#because i got a referral. but theur message literally just said that bullshit#and because it was right before work i had to pack that away#because trying to deal with that in addition to a shift at fucking mcdonalds wouldve killed me#but because i set it aside i just keep forgetting about it. so i needed to write this down to remind myself#that this is my life and this is the bullshit i get to deal with in this life#im so tired. i dont even know what to say here. what to think or anything#'youre too smart to have adhd. we're so sure of that that we're not gonna check again. waste someone else's time. bye!'#i wish the world worked the way healthcare 'professionals' think it works#what a beautiful world it would be. you could lose weight just by trying and when you lose weight all of your health problems disappear!#you cant have any mental health problems if you are smart or seem kinda normal or are a woman#i am resisting the urge to. i don't even know. i want to do something angry and destructive but i don't even care#at least now i dont have to drive two hours and pay $160 just to be told that i am too smart to have problems#and actually all of my problems are due to my anxiety and the fact that im female#god i wish that was the case. ill go on t if it makes my problems valid. would you like that?#what do i have to do to convince people i have problems? i will fully physically transition to be taken more seriously#would that help?? would that fucking help???????????????#anyway. i was about to say i wish i wasnt mentally ill. but i dont#being mentally ill is chill. its like a roommate that lives up there and weve lived together awhile so its chill#the only problem are the idiots they pay to deal with mental illness. at this point i dont think they have qualifications#theyre just bringing in men off the street. and theyre the real problem. goodnight folks#dont have the audacity to be mentally ill in this economy. its not worth it
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♡ younger! s/o x bakugou headcannons !
YALL DONT THINK OF THIS IN A P3DO SENSE, I MEAN IT IN A WHOLESOME WAY. PLS DONT ATTACK ME. fair warning: this is HEAVILY unedited... pt. 2



you first meet each other when your mom invites his family over for lunch due to her and his mom working together. (yes this is gonna be a moms friends son trope bc thats whats happening to me 😈).
you walk down to greet the family- completely expecting to see the ugliest boy youve seen in your life. only to find out hes a ua student, built, and ofc... super fucking hot...
bakugou just stares at you blankly as you walk up and say hello to his parents and him.
recognizing his mom, you give her a hug with a big smile as she does the same.
"y/n! meet my son katsuki! hes a year older than you, but you two should get along just fine!" introduces mitsuki happily.
all you manage is a nod in response as you meet his gaze again. "um... nice to meet you bakugou.." you say smiling slightly. "just call me katsuki..." he responds gruffly as he stuffs his hands further into his pockets.
"y/n.. why dont you take katsuki upstairs and let him play on my ps5?" says your dad jokingly as he nudges your shoulder. you roll your eyes with a grin before motioning him to follow you back upstairs.
as you turn on the ps5 you hand him the controller, "we only have cod right now..." you say apologetically. "so, i heard you go to ua right...?" you ask questioningly as you sit on the other side of the couch facing him.
"yeah im in the hero program" he responds focusing on the game playing in front of him. you nod you head thoughtfully at his response "what year are you in katsuki..?"
"im in my final year, what about you...?" he says finally glancing back at you with his carmine eyes. "uh... im in 3rd year" you say fumbling over your words slightly.
"damn your young.." he chuckles as he shakes his head slightly, "hey at least im not about to go to college.." you retort with a small smirk.
bakugou cant help but grin at your response, "you calling me old shorty?" he asks with a slight smirk.
you internally melt at the sight but remain composed, "hey, im just being realistic here.." you respond as you raise your hands up.
"realistic my ass.." he mutters quickly turning back to the game, "what ass are you talking about katsuki?" you ask with a laugh.
suddenly, you hear the sound of laughter and turn to see his head thrown back as he struggles to keep himself composed, "you- you should not being saying stuff like that shorty..." he says in between chuckles.
throughout the rest of the time you and bakugou start talking more and more, almost as if you two were old friends reconnecting. heck, even his parents were surprised to see him actually talking to you like a normal person.
just before they leave you stand by the door quickly responding to a friends message. "shorty.." he calls, making you look up to see him handing you his phone. "lets stay in touch so i can keep an eye on ur bratty ass.." bakugou gruffs blushing slightly.
you widen your eyes but quickly agree as you type in your number. "ill text you soon shortcakes.." he grins before ruffling your hair and walking out right beside his parents.
All you can do is stand there rooted in your spot with flushed cheeks, grinning like a delusional idiot
#bakugo katsuki#bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#kacchan#kacchan bakugou#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugou#mha#katsuki headcanons#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha headcanons#mha bakugou#katsuki x reader#bakugo katuski#katsuki#t3ag3rs
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oki oki oki
so i love, you love, and we love the whole "everyone sees moshang except for moshang" thing, bc it's funny to have everyone else be like "ohwow those two idiots dont realize they're married huh"
but like
might i suggest the alternative?
idk i was rereading svsss and like, since the whole thing is basically shen yuan's pov and he's a relatively level headed dude, i can't help but think about the way that he looks at moshang
like, he really doesn't seem to have any idea that moshang could be a thing. from his pov, shang qinghua/airplane is a sniveling backstabbing asshole who gets what deserves and deserves quite a bit more thwacks and mobei jun is just kinda... there. like even after knowing shang qinghua for YEARS and being fairly close people who can confide in one another, shen yuan seems pretty fucking shocked when airplane jumps off a cliff to save mobei jun. from his pov, it's almost random. like "huh wow that is the weirdest thing i've seen all week, and airplane is NORMALLY very weird so like... huh???"
now by the time the airplane extras occur, shen yuan DOES seem to have some idea of moshang with his whole "youre just waiting for him to apologize and keep beating you" thing, but again, might i point you to the YEARS it took him to get to that point. having to see shang qinghua literally pull a death defying stunt to save mobei jun's life before he sees even a glimmer of moshang
like, when they were working on the mushroom together, they clearly spent a long time with each other. they had to travel together, they had to come up with plans together, they also likely just had social visits bc being the only other transmigrator in a world that is so fucking weird would definitely drive up a certain level of honesty and companionship
now again, shen yuan is lowkey the sort of guy who's like "i dont see gay themes even when they're reeeeaaalllyy obvious", especially with relation to himself (dont get me started on how one of my least fav mxtx themes, after the blatant crummy treatment of female characters, is the whole "im not GAY, gay is WEIRD, im gay FOR YOU, thats DIFFERENT" which winds up reflecting as internalized homophobia their protags), so it's possible that moshang is obvious to everyone who isnt shen yuan.
BUT I CONTEND THE OPPOSITE
as ive expressed before, i love "mobei jun is just fucking weird, demon courting isnt like that" headcanons, so what if no one knows what the fuck is happening between moshang. like they're just this super weird mismatched combination of people that everyone just kinda tilts their head at like "...huh, wouldnt expect to see those two together but whateves" and then proceed to not fucking care to know the answer
shang qinghua seems to have kept a purposeful emotional distance from... everyone (likely due to the whole "haha everyone here is gonna fucking DIE someday" thing) and as said above, even after years of a relationship with shen yuan, he doesn't seem to have talked about mobei jun to him much (who is, by airplane's own admission, the most important person to him in this world considering he's the only person that had airplane going "i mean... maybe i dont push the go home button?"). so no one really seems to give a fuck who he's hanging out with bc he's not exactly out here making friends
and mobei jun, i contend, is a weirdo outcast who does not know how to socialize bc his uncle is a dick LOL. also his father. and also his childhood. and other demons tend to look at him and go "fucking weird man... i think he keeps a human pet?? kinda weird but w/e, the emperor is into necrophilia so /shrug/"
so like, maybe if anyone paid attention to them, they might notice the signs of moshang, but because most people kinda dismiss them, no one knows
I CONTEND THAT THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES KNOW IS LUO BINGHE THO
mostly because i find it FUCKING HILARIOUS but also bc i like to think luo binghe's whole "youre not used to his lil human pet yet? he brings it everywhere smh get over yourself" thing was luo binghe's way of being a wingman lmfao. he wont actually help or offer advice or do anything USEFUL, but he'll allow them to hang out when he has every ability to separate them LOL and i think that's funny
altho i still like the idea of luo binghe ALSO not knowing that moshang is a thing pfff. but having him know also amuses me.
ANYWAY ONTO THE ACTUAL APPLICATION INTO MOSHANG IDEAS
now the use in modern au's goes without saying. the good ol' "wait, THOSE TWO ARE A THING?!" coming from everyone who knows them. as an example, some form of workplace romance and even tho moshang can always be seen together in the office, because they dont seem to get along and no one cares, everyone is just like "shrug, they have a project together idc". like they're more likely to think that shang qinghua and shen yuan are dating bc at least those two have secretive meetings and have been caught, more than once, talking about sex. then one day shang qinghua shows up to work with the biggest rock on his finger pfff and mobei jun has a matching wedding band or someshit and everyone is shocked. or even better, some of the romantic pre-relationship stuff starts happening at the office but it's all stuff that's kinda easily misunderstood. and since no one would guess THOSE TWO together romantically, they just come up with any other plausible explanation. "why did mobei jun send shang qinghua flowers? idk, maybe his mom died. should we send him flowers too?" its not even a 'it couldnt be THAT', it's a straight up 'THAT never even crossed their minds for a second' until it gets really fucking ridiculous lololol then mobei jun and shang qinghua are applying for the same days off and mu qingfeng in HR is like "oki what for" and has to NOT do a spit-take when the two of them are like "our wedding" or someshit lolol
LOOK I JUST THINK IT'S VERY FUNNY
now as for the post-canon application, i still find this IMMENSELY amusing. for the sake of my amusement, im also choosing to interpret shen yuan's "you just want an apology" statement to have been given without imagining that the two of them might like-like each other. he's just being dismissive because airplane is fucking weird. like "look, idk why you are into role-playing as a humble servant and idk if i wanna know, actually, i definitely dont wanna know. you two clearly dont even like each other but you're in some weird co-dependent mess of a... friendship? friendship seems like a strong word. point being, get out of my house"
no one has the slightest clue about moshang's feelings for one another (except maybe binghe lolol) and they are REALLY not ready for when suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, shang qinghua is sending in his two weeks notice for an ding peak bc "oh im the northern consort now lol" and everyone is trying to just understand WHEN and HOW
like people straight up being like "is this a prank? i feel like im being pranked?" and others like "oh they might have gotten like... fake married? is this an insurance scam? hmm"
and basically for the first time ever people are really trying to understand and think about moshang bc they are SO FUCKING CONFUSED. there are betting pools over what the REAL REASON behind this CLEARLY fake marriage is. luo binghe has put his bet on "they're actually in love and fr married" and people SCOFF. he's the only one betting that and wow, the demon emperor is clearly blinded by his own weird relationship and cant see that NORMALLY this sort of relationship would NEVER happen
(actually this could apply for modern au too pff whateves, im jsut having fun here)
inquiring minds just being like "shang qinghua, blink twice if you're being threatened, we can get you out of there". demons out here like "we should prrobabblyy find the cure for whatever potent love-poison that creepy lil human slipped into mobei jun's drink, or maybe a mind-control plant?"
stuck on whether i want moshang to be utterly oblivious to everyone elses skepticism bc they're just on their happy lil honeymoon stage or if i want them to find the confusion Deeply amusing.
moshang get-together being dramatic but not bc either of them are oblivious, just bc there are communication issues pff. theres no "i love you" "but you CANT love me" drama, instead its "i love you" "oh shit SWEET, lemme hop on your dick". i like the idea of moshang only struggling to understand one another when the pair of them are holding the other at arms length (mobei jun being a tsundere and airplane out here like "getting attached and taking things srsly IS THE ENEMY") but whenever theres like, a clear statement of intent, they're quick to let go of misunderstandings and just get on with it. now while i favor this interpretation of their characters, i find it PARTICULARLY funny in au's like this! bc it also means that the pair of them learned to understand all of their weird behavior as well. so they're still fucking weird around each other, so people really dont believe this is real. mobei jun is still just as likely to yeet shang qinghua into a death cave and shang qinghua is just as likely to literally hug mobei jun's thighs while pleading for mercy. it doesnt LOOK like a loving relationship to anyone with eyes LOL (not to say that they dont grow and treat each other better, but just having a deeper understanding of one another means they dont change behavior 100%)
which actually isnt why i find it funny lol, i just enjoy the subversion of expections. rather than moshang being oblivious to the point of mind-numbing hair pulling stupidity, it's the rest of the world x'D and then it's just moshang casually proving that nah, they're for real, and yep, they're super in love, to an increasingly confused audience
this could work really well in a celebrity au now that i think about it LOL bc celebs so frequently have fake relationships and hidden relationships and all that sort of weird shit and people love to speculate about it online. so just everyone being like "calling it right fucking now, this relationship is a publicity stunt" and literally NO ONE believes they're for real, even years into it LOL. im actually usually a person who really doesnt care for celebrity au's but tbh this prompt fits so well for that, so im sold
but it goes beyond just fans speculating online. even fellow coworkers are like "huh, weird choice of publicity stunt" and dont believe for one fucking second that moshang is actually happening. oki yeah im sold
shang qinghua - famous author turned screenwriter (does some directing and he's actually pretty good at it, has a cult following, but mainly he sticks to writing. he doesnt need that kind of stress in his life LOL). he's finally reached a sort of financial stability with his work, but he hasnt broken the habit of doing whatever the audience wants because "I DONT WANNA FUCKING STARVE BRO", and he's generally disheartened when his works that he puts his sincere vision into have a tendency to be SIGNIFICANTLY less popular
mobei jun - actor, specially known for stunts and action movies. doesnt actually have any history of scandals, other than it's known that he's kinda hard to work with. just kinda cold and distant. THERE ARE some lowkey scandals with his family tho. he's definitely a nepo baby of the industry and his uncle and father dont have clean reputations. mobei jun normally keeps a pretty big distance away from them so he's kinda like, in the splash zone but not dragged in.
shen yuan - long time fan of shang qinghua's work, even back when the hack of an author was just posting web novels, his favorite insult is to call him a sell-out bc very often his deepest criticisms of shang qinghua's works are clearly choices made for money. as an example, a perfectly directed film that he wrote and nearly brought shen yuan to tears and quickly became his favorite movie EXCEPT theres fucking product placement in NEARLY EVERY FUCKING SCENE and sometimes it makes the movie fucking UNWATCHABLE. anyway, shen yuan runs the fansite for shang qinghua and is a LITTLE BIT OBSESSED with his works, but still has a love/hate relationship with the whole thing
luo binghe - pop idol who sometimes does acting work. he's known as an all-around talent. his acting is just as good as his singing, if not better, and basically everything he tries to do is wildly successful and genuinely fucking good. he's insanely popular to a scary degree (shen yuan is only familiar with his work bc he's acted in some of qinghua's movies and sometimes qinghua uses his music, shen yuan has an overall favorable impression of the celebrity but no obsession. mostly a "oh nice, that actor is really good, that and THAT HACK AUTHOR directing is sure to make this a must-watch movie" type of fanning)
liu qingge - stunt man and martial artist. he's not crazy famous, he's more like "if you're really into martial arts, you've definitely heard of him" or "if you're really into stunt work, you've heard of him" famous. but if you don't have those special interests, you have no idea. he MIGHT look faintly familiar to you, but you're unlikely to put a name to the face
shen jiu - actor, many scandals, SO MANY SCANDALS. he's very successful, infamously difficult to work with, has so many accusations hurled at him (and a majority of them are true) that when you hear "omg did you hear abt shen jiu" the answer is "ohyeah, the red-light district thing?" and the reply to that is "nonono, that was LAT MONTH, im talking abt the abuse allegations that came out yesterday!" and so on and so forth. shen jiu is a hot fucking mess and the industry has NOT helped him one bit. he has the money and power to get away with being his worst self and he Does Not Fucking Care (he cares so fucking much, he's literally burning from the inside out)
yue qingyuan - childhood friends with shen jiu, kind of accidentally being an enabler of shen jiu's spiral to hell. he's a producer and he's very successful and he keeps paving the way for shen jiu to continue getting work and help to bury scandals and basically the dude is trying his best, but he really should be putting his foot down and sending his friend to rehab instead of helping him like this
sha hualing - actress, does her own stunts, very temperamental. difficult to work with in that she's a bit (a lot) of a loose canon. she's hyper capable though and VERY popular. not a ton of scandals other than some violent behavior. she's also very good at dancing, basically anything that involves moving her body, she excels. her and mobei have totally starred in action movies together where theyre basically "hot beefy action hero and sexy badass love interest". they have a casual frenemy relationship
liu mingyan - average fanfiction writer, huge fan of rpf. she is relatively untouched by her brothers fame and intends to keep it that way. that said, she's more than happy to utilize the gossip that her brother sometimes brings home to implement as 'headcanons' into her fanfics >:D she does not tell her brother about this pfff. she also does martial arts and she's very good, but she has no desire to pursue fame. the closest she gets to it is sometimes watching her brother on a set (while secretly paying attention to everyone else for rpf bait LOL). she is not a fan of the whole moshang thing because it separates her otp (mobing for life!) and she's also convinced that its CLEARLY fake
mu qingfang - doctor, just a normal doctor, no fame involved. but his guilty pleasure is that he enjoys looking at celebrity gossip while on break. it's just a very lowkey sort of cathartic drama that he has no stakes in and helps him destress from his very stressful job. he mostly just lurks, but he's been known to write the occasional comment if he feels he has some useful insight to contribute
ning yingying - over-worked office lady. she wanted to be a pop idol when she was younger but it just wasnt in the cards. now she just enjoys getting a little parasocially invested in celebrity gossip, ESPECIALLY around luo binghe bc she's a. a mega fan. b. they were actually classmates in highschool. she's a fierce defender of his online and also one of those people who gets kinda offended by rpf bc "HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT" but also hypocritically will read every single "rpf character x reader" fanfic she can get her hands on
ming fan - luo binghe's hater online. mostly because he also knew him in highschool and hated the guy and now he's ugly jealous of his success. he likes to spread mean rumors about binghe online, just to blow off some steam. but his stupid obsession with slandering his ex-classmate sort of grew into a genuine interest in celebrity gossip and now he's a bit of an internet troll who's a little too invested in this shit. he's not a complete asshole and there are lines he won't cross, buuut he's also one of those assholes who sorta feels like "its online so it doesnt count if im a huge asshole" and just is his worst self online. he constantly gets in fights with ning yingying online (without knowing its her) about luo binghe. shen yuan sometimes gets involved too bc while he's not huge into the binghe fandom (that place scares him) he IS big on fact checking and whenever ming fan says something OBVIOUSLY false, shen yuan can't help but go in for corrections
qi qingqi - actress, successful, very low drama. she's famous and well liked, no major scandals, just a successful woman with a good career.
zhuzhi-lang - works as his uncles assistant. he keeps track of online drama because its part of his job, sometimes his uncle has him spread rumors online too so he has a few alts that are believable fan accounts for various celebrities.
tianlang-jun - one of those people who's basically famous just for being famous. he has done a bit of everything, but it's mostly that he's a household name that makes him famous. he currently works as a producer because he finds it really fucking funny. but it's anyones guess when he'll get bored of this and flit off to do something else that catches his fancy
su xiyan - model and martial artist. she's mostly famous for her TURBULANT relationship with tianlang-jun. she's skilled at both her crafts and has success, but she has no real ambition for fame. also her career is often held back by the shitty people in her life (her ex-mentor being PRIME among them, the grooming old scumbag). she got pregnant with binghe very early in her career and gave him away for adoption for various reasons. she has a good relationship with his adopted mother, but she's chosen to stay out of binghe's life. tianlang-jun doesn't know binghe is his son LOL
meng mo - thinks of himself as a star-maker, he's luo binghe's manager and has a VERY high opinion of his skills bc he's had a few successful clients. he does however tend to give very bad personal life advice
yang yixuan - one of liu qingge's students. he's only passively aware of celebrity gossip, it's really not his thing, but he is a bit of a mobei jun fan. mostly bc mobei jun does his own stunts and yan yixuan can recognize the skill involved and just thinks the guy is really fucking cool (not more cool than liu qingge OBVIOUSLY but still cool). he's very disappointed to hear abt this clearly fake relationship with shang qinghua, he thought that mobei jun was above all that petty celebrity bullshit of fake relationships and tabloid bait
gongyi xiao - aspiring young actor, overall just a nice guy. no scandals, not really famous yet but he has a promising lil fanbase that is slowly growing. however, he does have a bad habit of answering too honestly while being interviewed which can inadvertently have bad consequences LOL (example: "so what do you think of this moshang thing?" "hm, i mean, it really surprised me? seemed out of nowhere haha, i guess good for them??" which quickly spirals into "omg gongyi xiao CLEARLY knows it's fake! he cant lie for shit! THIS IS BASICALLY EVIDENCE")
qin wanyue - binghe fan, terminally parasocial, lives off of rpf fanfiction, literally missed her younger sisters funeral to attend a binghe concert, probably needs professional help like yesterday. when the online conversations of moshang start involving binghe, she gets VERY FUCKING UPSET
little palace mistress - nepo baby pop idol. very obsessed with binghe but also in a love/hate sort of way bc he doesnt do what she WANTS him to do and she craves the obedience. she takes out her impudent rage online. she's a big mobei jun hater bc she saw the mobing conspiracies before moshang happened AND SHE SAW RED. she now wants moshang to crash and burn bc she hates mobei jun with an irrational passion. she is doing her best to sabotage whatever stupid publicity stunt this is
(ships: moshang, bingyuan, liujiu, mingling)
moshang had their own super slowburn romance of actor x director that happened over the course of years and the mutual pining was basically killing them both and they had their own dramatic love confessions and shit, but it all happened behind closed doors so no one knows any of that. all they know is that this relationship Makes No Sense and internet sleuths are very invested with UNCOVERING THE TRUTH
#moshang#did any of this make sense?#probably not lolol#im just posting my stream of consciousness moshang thoughts for Reasons
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uhhh here's my thoughts as one of the native co-writers of the letter sent to rtvs. i said before i won't be making rtvs posts anymore, but i guess i wanna compile all my thoughts onto one as they have been scattered around as the whole thing went down so.
not sure how best to structure this btw, i'm still not good at words and this is a mess atm. but uhh im trying.
one thing i hope will be acknowledged in the apology that wayne correcting the misinformation he said in november was very much possible on his own. i can't be mad that he didn't know about pt's shit right away, but when i google anything about the dev's offensive comments/work in the game, before and now, this is all i can find.

like not looking into it for one second before making your statement was really irresponsible. it's the main reason i decided to actually say something, at least with my one post about his message. apparently it's an issue with people calling whatever the dev said an 'apology'. and i said in the letter too, one of my goals was for that misunderstanding to be cleared up.
and yep, the response to the letter was definitely disappointing. i hope behaviour like that will not be repeated again too. wayne being so determined to leave his november message as his final word, even when that's what i had an issue with in the first place, and the quick mention that he mispoke on the apology part, it was very dismissive to me.
it sucks that it took two months just to finally admit it was incorrect on top of that.
but specifically for mike. what the fuck? how can you say something like that to someone's face?
"if you really had your tribes best interests-" and "we're just people on the computer like you" are wild things to say.
do better. grow up. broaden your perspective. even if you can't be perfect all the time, none of us are saying you ever were, still, do whatever it takes to not do anything like that again.
you can't pull the "we're just silly idiots here guys" card everytime.
ughhh. not gonna lie, thinking about how kinda weird it is taking a part of this at all since the first thing i did after seeing the collab announcement was just leave quietly. like i only called the collab a big L (💀), unfollowed everyone, and avoided rtvs entirely for a whole month. but i agree with what people have said; yes, there was barely any attention brought to the whole thing anyways. only a handful of people pointed out the issue at the time, but everything else went on as normal and that was it. it was a bummer.
so as a final note, i hope this makes something good to learn from. personally, i can't help but be sure that rtvs wasn't going to acknowledge the issue with the collab if we didn't make the letter. maybe it would've been a later apology after some hindsight or something, i don't know. at least there was a push and acknowledgment they gotta do better.
we're still waiting on their apology right now. i'm willing to wait for a while just to be fair. i'm just not following them though so i don't know how active they've been, sounds like just as usual it seems. well, i just hope a good amount of thought and effort goes into the apology whenever it comes out.
don't know how to end this i'm tired uh.
#kay mumbles#rtvs#wayneradiotv#spaghoner#i dont know how to keep things short oop#might edit later. its 4am rn.
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tged webtoon ep 163 spoilers and thoughts that are making me procrastinate on like all of my work but its totally fine below the cut
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.
i am so serious i was completely tricked into thinking this would just be a light episode with some ominous foreshadowing but still some answers for how to defeat fate. i thought we'd be in silly haha territory now and that soon we'd reach the end and everything would be wonderful now and they can finally have what they want. I WAS PROVEN WRONG
YOU. YOU TRICKED ME FROM THE GETGO BY SETTING THE MOOD OF THE EP TO BE SILLY OFF THE BAT. YOUR STUPID CUTE HAIR BEING MESSY WHEN U WAKE UP AND THOSE SILLY ASS D*SNEY ANIMALS. YOU YOU YOU YOU RAPHAEL YOU FOOLED ME
it's super cute and funny that his singing and his general demeanor is so fairytale esque that animals and people just love him even though he tried to destroy what they were working on . he looks adorable with messy hair. i wanna see it more. cute and blond. but also. FUCK YOU
like we went from that to this and i was like "oh my god they're gonna have a bonding moment" and i was so so happy i just,, i really thought,,,,
like he looks so pretty here!! and then javier says something so sweet and so javier-brand of affectionate and they're being funny about it and it's so cute and they're all smiley afterward in the reflections of the water so its like "awww stupid fucking idiots being happy at each other without even really knowing it i love them so much" AND THEN.
STUPID FUCKING OMINOUS REFLECTION GOT ME ALL WORRIED. BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF RAPHIE AT THE START AND WENT "nahhh thats just. yknow. the normal foreshadowing at something bigger. they haven't even gotten answers yet. it's fine" oh lynn. oh girl you had no idea.
like they're so close to the truth cmon they wouldnt dump what they need to do to stop fate AND whats going on w javier at the same time right? ha. ha. ha.
ominous panels aside POOR LLOYD,,, OF ALL THE SECRETS HE COULD HAVE CHOSEN,,, he had no idea its not fair </3 we got blushy lloyd as a result i love this panel btw he's very very cute. super duper bug of him. i really like that the artist has been drawing the two of them at this angle a lot recently they look so stupid i like it a lot
ALSO JAVIER DO YOU. HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SAY. WHY DID HE ASK THAT I. JAVIER U CANT JUST ASK PEOPLE HOW DEE- WHAT THE FUCK
and then we got hit w javier being worried and i was like "man me too buddy, im worried too but im sure itll be oka-"
DEATH FLAG. WHY. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO THINK THAT LLOYD OH GOD. i read this and my worry that was briefly washed away IMMEDIATELY came back . tged is very good at giving me tonal whiplash. i dont think thats a bad thing but also its not good for my health either so. /lh
AND THEN WE GOT HIT WITH THE JEWEL OF TRUTH SECTION AND. AAAAHHH AAAAAAAAHHH the darkness that lloyd is in, he's all alone when he hears this god i . oh god i have so much to say okay
it's kind of hard to go shot by shot with this section because all my thoughts are overlapping with each other but ill try my best???
he's immediately pushed into communication between just him and the jewel and shrouded in a very very isolating darkness. there's so so so much empty space and all my yapping about how much lloyd has been isolating himself for the sake of finally protecting his loved ones kind of comes to a head here. and then we hear the truth...
lloyd is a BUG. the fact that he EXISTS is a problem that has been the catalyst of all the pain and work that he and javier have had to go through, so so early in the story. he's essentially being told that its HIS fault fate is threatening their lives. AND WOW THAT HURTS. how do you cope with being told that?? how do you manage that???
and on TOP of it all, in order to fix it, he has to choose. rid the world of this bug, or let the bug take over. THAT'S SO EVIL
the only way to protect his loved ones is to forfeit his protection over them, giving up his life. and yet the only way for him to continue being there to protect them is to lose the life of the one he absolutely loves most, javier. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT
the moment he hears this he falls to his knees. im so fucking ill IM SICK . THIS IS SICK AND TWISTED!!!!!!!!!!!
some more thoughts on the language and just. inherent despair of this section:
i think the choice of calling lloyd a bug is so so so heartwrenching. i don't know if it's an intentional thing by the writer/adapter or if it's just something they defaulted to since the world is considered a system, but either way it makes me so damn emotional
i'm a computer engineer, so i take some computer science classes too as part of my major, and one of those fun facts that you learn in those classes is that debugging/bugs became common terminology in compsci for a very silly reason. "bugs" as a word to describe error and defects had been present before, but it became conflated with programming due to a team of programmers actually finding a moth, a true to life Bug, interfering with their computer and thus messing with their program.
see, the JoT could have called lloyd anything. an error, a mistake, a problem, hell even a glitch would have worked. but they specifically said bug (and again whether or not thats intentional is up for debate but i will treat it like it is)
and the thing about bugs, the thing that haunts me now, is that without them the rest of the program (theoretically) works fine. if that moth hadnt entered the computer of those programmers, then their code would have been operating smoothly. the system would be chugging along well.
the knight of blood and iron would be functioning just fine.
yeah it'd be sad, yeah javier would have lost everyone, but it would have gone exactly as the program was written. the memory allocated for the class lloyd_frontera would be freed, and the story wouldn't have had to call on it, ever. but lloyd, the bug, the moth, stuck around. errors ensue.
and often, bugs are HUMAN error. it's a problem in a human design, not a natural glitch or mistake. the moth wouldn't have been able to enter that computer if it was built differently. bugs do not appear naturally. and they do not go away until you go back to where the bug appears and FIX IT. lloyd cannot fix the story, he can NEVER achieve the happy ending he's always wanted, because the program will always be bugged because of HIM.
suddenly too, all the little changes that have happened in the story thus far make so much sense. all of those events happening EARLIER than they should have completely tracks.
the choices lloyd made - to defeat neumann, defeat lacona, go to cremo, go to the capital - pushed javier's presence ahead, and i know that's like really really obvious, but coupled with this bug analogy i feel insane because
something that's very common in programming in general are function calls, where on the side you have the function written out all complete, and in your main code you can just say the name of the function. when it compiles, itll know what to refer to when it sees the name in your main code.
something else thats very common is conditionals! y'know, your classic "if (comparison here) then do (this thing here) else (do this thing here)", you might have seen this before (or not, im not sure how well versed tged tumblr is on programming which is why im explaining this)
and u think back to javier being there EARLY and oh. ooohh....
if (javier.location == magentano.event_location(banquet)) {
kyle_betrayal(alicia);
}
this function, this betrayal, was called early. THIS WAS CALLED EARLY because a certain character object, lloyd frontera, changed the state of javier's location way sooner than it should have happened. a bug. a bug. a bug. a bug made the code jump to this conditional. he's been a bug this whole time
and you think to when the glitches on javier first started appearing and oh. oooohhh. the object referred to as javier, disabled the "protagonist" variable on him and passed it onto lloyd. but that won't do, because all these functions for the ENTIRE STORY rely on javier's class object. how can it call on lloyd instead? lloyd should have been freed, aka the memory storing his little array of data, should have been REMOVED. CAUSE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE
theres more examples of this throughout the whole story that maybe ill list another day (as much as im yapping about it, its really not that hard/deep on figuring out where things were called early lol) but yeah yeah yeah. yeah this is so so evil and i cant believe i didnt put two and two together earlier. this analogy is SO EVIL WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO ME
apologies for the jargon btw. i have no idea if i explained this right or if anyone else really knows what im talking about but i've been losing it over this for the entire weekend ALKDFJLSDKF
WHATS WORSE IS THAT IVE BEEN CALLING LLOYD A BUG FOR LIKE. ACTUAL MONTHS. I WOULD REFER TO HIM AS A CREATURE AND AS A LITTLE ITTY BITTY BUG AND NOW I FEEL SO SO TERRIBLE BECAUSE HE REALLY WAS A BUG. I MADE A SHITPOST AND EVERYTHING (that ill prolly post later) THAT I HAD NO IDEA WOULD. AGE POORLY SOB SOB SOB
I AM SO SO SORRY LLOYD. I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T KNOW I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sniffle,,, sob,,, anyway,,, thats enough yapping about bugs and programming and lloyd being a bug,,, back to the anguish
the following section is just. god ow ow OW. the shaking linework, the shadows setting in at the top with the dramatic bottom lighting, and the blur on javier as he loses focus and starts truly, truly panicking makes me INSANE. artist you're making me CRAZY!!!
javier truly has no idea either but god dammit he's trying his best to help, but how can lloyd explain this to the man whos completely and utterly loyal to him to the point of sincere devotion? if lloyd tells him, whos to say that javier - the martyr that he is - won't just give up his life for him? god that's so... GOD. GOD GOD GOD WHY AGHHH
AND AGGHHH AGGGHHHH THE FLASHBACKS TO THE P PANELS OF SUHO WORKING SO SO HARD TO REACH THE LIGHT. GOD FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK
ITS DIMMER ITS HARDER TO REACH AND OH MY GOD THE PANEL OF LLOYD REACHING UP EVEN IN HIS PANIC TOWARDS HOPE. THE THOUGHT THAT "ITLL GET BETTER ONE DAY" COMFORTED HIM AND KEPT HIM ALIVE BUT NOW ITS BEING RIPPED FROM HIM I FEEL ILL. EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL
this panel of that light going out . not much words on this i just feel sick to my stomach. why would u do that.
and finally at the end of the chapter we have this incredibly HAUNTING panel of lloyd panicking. the despair here is UNREAL. the lineart is shaken and messy and scribbly, and the focus on his face and his hand gives the panel a very claustrophobic and hard-to-breathe feel and it makes mE SICK!!! IT MAKES ME SICK!!! SICK AND TWISTED!!!! JEWEL OF TRUTH I HATE YOU!!!!!!!
anyway that's all my thoughts for right now . i really really hope they figure out a loophole or something . if they dont im actually gonna keel over and die /j not literally but yknow what i mean
SICK AND TWISTED!!! is my final word on this ep
thanks for joining me in hell ill see yall next week salute emoji
#tged#the greatest estate developer#tged spoilers#the greatest estate designer#lynn misc#lynn yaps#i really really hope people understood all that coding stuff i spewed in the middle of this HAHA#IF NOT PLEASE DONT BE AFRAID TO ASK. I LOVE YAPPING ABOUT STUFF I KNOW!!!#i didnt think id yap abt it that much but well. here we are#i was close to if not completely sobbing when i read this ep and i am extremely scared of whats next#itll be okay though right? no more anguish after this? right? <- trying so hard to cope
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Hello. Are you willing to make ‘afterlife’ fics? Like reader dies and meets character in the afterlife (i am talking about the danganronpa series, so a afterlife with all the dead people from the killing game)
If so i would like to make a bit of a complex request for a Arei x Reader in the afterlife.
Context: reader is a ultimate gamer that views games and especially Arei as their reason for living. And after Arei dies they become depressed and gets tired of finding “excuses” to keep going. So then they end up killing someone (let’s say Levi as the reader wanted to spite Ace) in a very complicated manner but they also don’t really mean to win the trial. So they still help the trial as they would normally do and if they win they would still live their life to the end and if they lose then… well you know.
If this request is too much don’t feel bad about not doing it i really don’t mind
(tldr, don’t worry about me and my mental health, im fine i just thought this concept for a fic was really interesting)
Thank you for reading
Meeting arei in the afterlife



Pairing:arei nageishi x gn reader
A/n:this was actually my inspiration for my prompt in the prompt list
Spoilers for all of drdt
The first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was white, a large open white space, you let your eyes adjust to your surroundings for a bit before getting up and starting to walk
"Uh, I thought hell was more.......red"
"This isn't hell......we think so at least"
You turned around to see two very familiar faces you hadn't seen in a long time
"Long time no see huh?"
"X-Xander? Min? What are you?"
"I guess you already figured that but this is the afterlife, or at least some kind of after life for us specifically"
"Oh"
"I woke up here and was alone for a while and then min came here too and we made up"
"....really?"
"Yeah, It was all my fault anyways"
"And if we have to stay here for eternity then it's just stupid to keep fighting over that"
"I guess"
"By the way........how's teruko?"
"......traumatized"
"O-oh"
"She did say she wanted to start trusting people again though"
"That's good, I just wish I could tell her I'm sorry"
"Yeah......I get that"
"Oh y/n you've finally arrived"
You felt a large hand pat your back and immediately knew who it was, so you started sweating profusely and walking away nervously
"H-hi Levi........"
"Hi-"
"I just wanna say I'm so sorry I wasn't in the right mental state, and I didn't choose you because I hate you or any-"
"Hey its all right"
".......R-really?"
"Yeah, don't sweat it it's all in the past"
"It happened like yesterday"
"Yes but like min said, it would just be stupid to be mad at you if we have to be here together for eternity...... plus I killed people too it would be hypocritical of me to hate you for it"
".....so you're not gonna beat me up?"
"You thought I would?"
"......s-sorry for assuming"
"It's......fine"
You kept talking with the three of them for a while before your mind wandered to one person
"Hey.......so where's arei?"
"I knew you'd ask that"
"Is there something wrong with that? I just........really wanna talk to her"
"I'm right here"
"H-huh?"
You turned again to see that arei was standing behind you with ace in the corner
"A-arei!"
You immediately went in for a hug that she reciprocated
"I-i'm so sorry, I just missed you so much, I'm so happy to see you again"
Arei just sighed and broke the hug. You started smiling looking at her, until you felt a slap on your face, you yelped in pain and held your cheek with your hand
"That was for practically killing yourself"
"I told you I was sorry"
"You seriously think sorry is gonna cut it? You killed someone knowing you would have most likely died too, does your life mean that little to you? Was it all just a game?"
".....it was because of you"
"Huh?"
"For me a life without you isn't worth living"
"......You're such a fucking idiot"
"W-what?"
"If you really loved me then you would have kept living for me, I could have cheered you from here while you kept going but you decided to take the easy way out to see me again"
"................"
"But that being said, I can't even begin to imagine how you felt after my death, I know how much I meant to you and I genuinely don't want to think about how much pain you were in"
"..............."
"So......I forgive you, I love you and I'm not petty enough to keep fighting with you forever"
".......thanks"
"You better thank me, another girl would have dumped you for that,but I don't wanna stay single for....however long forever is"
"Hehe, yeah me neither"
You finally saw her smile again, that cute and genuine smile you loved
"You're a fucking idiot but you're my fucking idiot and now we're stuck together forever"
"...I wouldn't want it any other way"
#danganronpa despair time x reader#danganronpa despair time#drdt x reader#drdt#x reader#arei nageishi x reader#arei nageishi#gn reader#drdt arei x reader
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I don't think people say GMMTV is sabotaging FK; the correct word would be neglecting. GMMTV neglects FK, and it is extremely obvious if you pay attention.
idk what exactly prompted this ask bc i made that post like a week ago and from what i can tell it hasn't really got any notes for the past few days and i haven't even been online so maybe this is just something that had been bothering you? idk but. and i don't mean to be rude when i say this! but i must say i don't like the tone of this. i'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was accidental, but jsyk this came off as very passive aggressive, like im somehow an idiot for not seeing it. and i will tell you that i have definitely seen people accusing gmmtv of sabotaging fkt and thk, which as i said is silly, but yes some do say that! i've seen it with my own two eyes lmao
like literally today i saw someone on twitter saying exactly this bc the gmmtv twt account posted upcoming events for the next week. now mind you! first is LITERALLY on holiday with his family rn, so how (and more importantly why) do they expect him to have events next week? well when someone mentioned that in the replies, their response was just 'well clearly you don't see it the way i do' which ?? what way is that ?? that he's on holiday?? that he can't be in two places at once??? and other people in the replies were like 'well why can't khaotung have solo events!' and it's like ?? idk maybe bc he's at home gaming, hanging out with his sister and playing his instruments ?? maybe it's bc the two of them are CLEARLY on a break and just bc khaotung is still at home doesn't mean he's not RESTING??
and yes i'm mad about that kind of stuff! it comes off as so selfish and spoilt!! and not to make everything about bts but bts have this exact same issue w some fans to the point where armys literally came up w a name for to refer to these kind of fans: mantis (manager+anti). an explanation of what that means from reddit (bc it's better than i could ever explain it): 'Mantis are antis who essentially hide behind “stanning” so much that they themselves feel like they know the group, and their career, better than the group does. These are the fans constantly trying to "protect" them, beyond normal levels. The type to think they are constantly mistreated/tortured by the company and don't get to make any decisions of their own. Also tend to call out other fans "for not being real fans" if they don't join in on the concern.' like literally i read some of stuff some (emphasis on SOME) fkt fans say and it literally is like. i have played these games before!
and listen i'm not gonna pretend i know much of anything abt that company. i'm new here as it is and i really don't pay attention to any other actors or shows or whatever to compare it to so im deffo not the authority in this regard!
but all that said i 1000% get the impression that there are some fans that kinda... infantilise fkt when it comes to their work. like they have no choice or agency and gmmtv are keeping them locked in a basement somewhere. and i do believe that the majority of them mean well (altho i do think a lot of them want/expect way too much from fkt but i'll get to that), but it's almost as if they forget they're grown men who are more than capable of advocating for themselves. i mean fucking hell, was it not them aggressively advocating for themselves for years that got them put on a show together in the first place? first and khaotung are clearly not people who have difficulty going after what they want, esp when together. i've heard that fkt are notoriously picky about which scripts they accept, which doesn't sound to me like people who are really being neglected by their company. neglected actors don't get the luxury of being picky about jobs. neglected actors are lucky to get any jobs.
(and this goes for events and stuff too, which is a common gripe i've seen. in my opinion - and this is just mine! - people who take their acting as seriously as first and khaotung may not want to take loads of events where they're essentially glorified salesmen. and i mean that with no shade bc make that bag always, but as i see it that's all those events are - extra money in their pockets. i can't see how they would do anything for their career really. and doesn't it just make sense that if they're picky abt their jobs that would also extend into events and stuff too? like? i mean ppl are free to disagree w me on this bc this is just my opinion but yknow. i just think ppl make this into a bigger thing than it is)
and funnily enough i also saw a thread on twt the other day abt how fkt are much bigger internationally than they are in thailand. the shows they've opted to do (again, opted, bc they have a choice) are shows that allegedly don't appeal to a domestic market like most other gmmtv shows do. and so, no matter how you or i might feel abt it, from a business pov it makes sense that they might not be getting the opportunities some other actors might be getting if there simply just isn't demand for it domestically. which sucks, but if that's how it is, that's how it is.
and don't get me wrong i completely get viciously advocating for your faves ok? im an army. for half of bts' career fans were all they had. but sometimes that advocacy becomes a) kinda ridiculously demanding given the context and b) almost condescending. or very condescending sometimes. this goes for bts and fkt both. and while it's all well and good wanting things for them, all i'm saying is let's not forget that they are grown men who are not new to this business. not to mention the fact they have a known track record of advocating for themselves, or the fact that they enough scripts coming their way to be able to be picky, or the fact that already have a new show lined up. first has two even! and a show currently airing! and a cameo that just aired like last week! and another one we know is coming! like my god these are not men who are hurting for work rn.
and in my humble opinion, coming to learn about this industry relatively recently, i think ppl expect too much from these actors overall. i think a lot of them - fkt included - work a hell of a fucking lot actually. i think demanding much more is just selfishness. if im honest. like yes it's nice to see them doing events and stuff. but it's not necessary. and i'll be honest! would i like more interviews and magazines and things like that? sure! but like i said if the demand isn't there, neither will the offers be. that's just the reality of what it is! i'm not going to be sending trucks about it lmfao
the bottom line is this: i'm not saying gmmtv do or don't neglect them. i don't have enough information to have a strong enough opinion one way or the other. but from the outside looking in they seem to be doing just fine. they've got work. they've seemingly got money. and like i said, they're grown men. this is their careers. if they have issues with one thing or another, i trust that they will address those issues as they see fit between themselves and their company. until the day that first and/or khaotung themselves express unhappiness or discontentment, i will take them at face value and believe that they're happy w the way things are. bc literally who tf am i to tell them they should be doing anything different?
#ask#anon#once again not to make everything about bangtan. but i truly have played these games before. i know what this is.#and tbh. i feel like i get a very different impression of fkt than most ppl seem to. bc to me they seem perfectly happy as they are#they clearly value quality over quantity. as they should.#and they're introverted! they probably dont WANT to be doing events every 5 minutes! so they simply dont!#i just personally feel like the majority of issues fans seem to have are not actually issues but likely choices fkt make themselves#which goes back to my post. having wants for them is not the issue i have. its the way its expressed. it's condescending and rude.#but alas. im just a girl on the internet.#also im so sorry anon i didn't mean to lay this all on you ! i just have been holding this in for a Minute lmfao
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AHHH I LOVED UR "HATED HIM" GOJO FIC ITS SO CUTEE🥹 I WANNA SEE A PART 2!! im curious will the reader date gojo or js continue to hate him lmao
❥ IMPROVEMENTS - SATORU GOJO
pairing: gojo x f!reader contents: pt 2 to this fic although you dont need to read it to understand this one. no warnings js fluff here !!! word count: 2.5k on the DOT a/n: HII NONNIE IM SSOOO HAPPY U LIKED IT!!! im sorry this took so long ive been busy with work and exams coming up :( hopefully i can post more often soon :((( ANYWAZ ENJOY
so maybe you don’t hate Satoru Gojo. not anymore. since that moment you shared with him, you thought everything would go back to normal, and for the most part it did. well, you think it did, but everyone else saw the changes clear as day.
as time passed, from an outside perspective it seemed like the two of you suddenly had a… “stable” friendship. both “stable” and “friendship” being used very very loosely. although gojo prefered “happy relationship” and “loving marriage”. the yelling matches (you yelling at gojo while he just sits there and smiles like an idiot) that used to occur multiple times daily went down to only once a day, if at all. you didn’t seem to shoo him away as much or rant about how annoying he is. it was almost like you were warming up to him.
if nobody knew what had happened between the two of you it would’ve seemed like a random switch that went off one day, except everyone did know what happened, cuz gojo’s big mouth went and told everyone the next fucking day. to escape being made fun of to no end, you told everyone you only kissed him so he’d shut up and there was no feelings beyond that, which was half true. the other half of you knew that being all bandaged up by him after a mission gone wrong, sitting in his bed while he tells you how much he cares about you, a man who’d usually piss you off and act all goofy. to see him like that was like a breath of really fresh air and kinda changed the way you saw him.
obviously he was still super annoying and pissed you off, but he seemed to finally get the memo and tuned it down so that it was actually manageable. his laugh was suddenly cuter, his face was less punchable and his flirting was almost starting to fluster you. almost. he still made those stupid comments and monologues for waaayy too long but he got a lot sweeter in his teasing and actions. he somehow found out what your favourite foods and places to eat were and bought you food after long days of school, training sessions and missions and took you to places around tokyo on outings “dates”. your friendship with him was finally tolerable.
waking up on a sunday morning, you hear the sound of buzzing from your phone on your bedside table.
incoming call from gojo.
its way too early for him to be bothering you already, but you know very well that if you don’t pick up now he’ll keep calling til you do. you silently curse shoko for giving him your number when he asked her, since he already knew you’d say no to him. “what do you want?” you answer his call, putting the phone to your ear as you sit up in bed. “good morning to you too i guess..” you can hear the pouting in his voice. “what are you up to today??”
“i’m training a bit with nanami and haibara later.” you check the clock on the table, mentally starting to plan when you’re gonna start getting ready to meet the two of them. “nanami!? why would you train with him!? he doesn’t know anything.” he seemed to completely tune out the second name you mentioned
“he knows more than you.” you laugh at his dramatic gasp over the phone, picturing the look on his face. “whateverrrr. you should train with me instead!”
“no.”
“what!? why not?? im soooo much better than him!” you can hear the passion in his voice and you begin to wonder how he can have so much energy so early in the morning, especially on a sunday. “please humble yourself, and i already told nanami i’d train with them anyway.” you glance back at your clock, continuing to consider how long you can stay in bed for. “fiiineee. we can train together next time. what’re you doing after that?”
“after training i’m gonna…” your voice trails off as you think back to earlier this week, trying to recall if you had made any other plans with anyone for today. “not doing anything later. i’m probably gonna go back to my dorm.” you confessed, forgetting exactly who you were on the phone with. “oh so you’re free later? perfect! we sh-“
“no, i’m not free. i’m going back to my dorm gojo. and i’m staying there. all day.” you make sure to give him the details of your plan to stay in your room so he doesn’t have any wiggle room to plan anything. “hmmmm.. okay! ill just come over then!”
“what?? n-“
“cyalaterbye!!” you hear the phone beep as he hangs up, now looking down at your lock screen. 'god he’s sooo annoying.'
getting out of bed after looking down at your clock again, you decide you have more than enough time to watch a bit of the show you’ve been catching up on. maybe about two and a half episodes?
checking the time halfway through the first episode, you decide you’re not in the mood to continue watching and you’ll watch a movie instead after training. you get up and begin getting ready for the scheduled training session you had, lightly fixing up your hair so you looked presentable and throwing on your uniform before heading out.
training with nanami and haibara went well, and you were all surprised gojo didn’t show up to bother you but you figured he was busy with his own thing. coming home you immediately threw your uniform onto the floor and went to take a shower, feeling all gross and sweaty. ‘ill pick it up later.’
you turn the water on, allowing it to get hot before stepping into the shower. you decided to use your favourite body wash that smelled like heaven in a bottle, the scent filling up the entire bathroom and making all the air around you smell like your favourite fragrance. you linger in the shower for a bit, the hot water feeling therapeutic against your skin. once you were done you headed back to your room, throwing on some comfy flared sweats and a random tank top from your wardrobe. looking in the mirror, the outfit was surprisingly cute, and really comfortable.
in a good mood from the nice shower and already feeling pretty after only putting on some random clothes, you decided to have fun and do some light makeup. maybe you’ll run a few errands later? you were a bit low on snacks at the moment.
finishing off your makeup with a pretty lipgloss, you look in your little snack drawer to see what you had left. some gum, a few candies and one bag of your favourite chips you’re planning to save. maybe it was time to restock.
you throw on a light jacket and grab your bag, gathering your essentials and getting your shoes on before leaving your dorm. you decided to go to the little convenience store only a few minutes away since they had all the snacks you like.
within a few minutes you made it to the store, picking out a bunch of snacks and candies you liked. as you were looking at the new flavours of candy they had, the bell by the door jingled as someone entered the store. “y/n!!” you heard a familiar voice behind you. “why are you here?? you said you were staying in your dorm. all day.” gojo mocks the tone you used with him on the phone earlier. “i changed my mind. why are you here?”
“satoru wanted to get some candy on the way home.” suguru appears from behind him, giving you a smile and a polite wave. “hmm.. they have a nice selection here, what do you think i should get?” gojo puts a hand to his chin as he looks through all the candies. “the sour green apple candy from this brand is really good. and the lemon flavour too, they’re my favourites.” you say as you point to the candies. “then they’re my favourites too,” gojo immediately picks up two of each flavour you recommended, before picking a few other candies he knows you like.
“you do not need all that sweetness. think about your health.” suguru grimaces at the amount of sweets in gojos hands. “i’m not gonna eat all of it! do you really think that low of me? i’m sharing with my girlfriend.” he plops his purchase on the counter for the cashier, smiling down at you “and i’m still coming over,”
“i didnt agree to that, nor do you have girlfriend.”
“don’t care,” gojo shrugs as he takes his bag full of your favourite candies, cheerfully skipping out the door followed by you and suguru. the two of you followed as he happily pranced down the street and back to school.
“you’re really not gonna leave me alone?”
“nope!” you and gojo stand outside your dorm as he waits for you to unlock the door. you sign at his persistence, grabbing your keys from your bag and opening the door. he had never actually been in your dorm before so this was like a new world to him. “kinda messy in here. you needa clean up a bit y/n” gojo steps inside as if it were his own house, yet looks around at your space as if he were at a museum. “do you ever shut up? and take your shoes off. don’t step on my nice carpet. if it gets dirty i will kill you.”
“yes ma’am.” he obeyed as if his life was truly in danger. you take off your own shoes, putting your jacket and bag away before plopping yourself on your bed. you watch gojo pace around your small dorm room, picking up random objects to inspect before humming and placing it back down. you know he should be monitored carefully while in proximity of your stuff but you really can’t be bothered to babysit right now and just allow him to stimulate himself.
after a few minutes of replying to missed texts from a few of your friends, you hear gojo sigh, dropping the bag of candy on the floor and placing his glasses alongside the makeup you put on earlier. you realize he hadn’t said a word for those few minutes. “you’re being too silent, what are yo-“ gojo fully drops himself on top of you, his hard head hitting your chest so hard you swear you heard a rib crack. “holy fucking shit you fatass, get off me!! you’re heavy.” you try to push him off you but he doesn’t budge. “but ‘m tired baby,” he whines as he made himself more comfortable on top of you. “i will kill you.”
“m‘kay..” gojo yawns, wrapping his arms around you. now you’re stuck, great. you honestly didn’t think the word ‘tired’ existed in gojo’s vocabulary since he somehow always has energy. you had never seen him sleep before, which sounds somewhat normal until you remember the overnight trips and missions you and your classmates went on frequently, where gojo never slept. or he never let anyone see him sleep. you didn’t really realize it until now, with him on your chest already seeming close to knocking out.
as much as it annoyed you that you couldn’t get up to eat the candy he’d bought for the two of you to have, you figured if you woke him up he’d just bother the shit out of you until you let him sleep again, and you honestly realize how cute he is when he’s quiet. sighing in defeat, you open up your laptop that you had left on your bed earlier and throw on a movie you had already wanted to watch today. “hm..? what’s that?” gojo mumbles as he’s half asleep. “the movie suguru recommended me the other day. the one about the samurai?”
“ohhh.” gojo turns his head away from the screen to rest on the other side of his head “that one sucks. and the main character dies.”
“ugh, spoiler warning next time??” you flick the top of his head as he laughs. you scroll through the selection of movies on the site, humming occasionally while adding interesting movies to your watch later list. eventually you find a random movie that you had never heard of but it looks interesting enough and decide to watch it. the large boy laying on top of you turns his head back to the screen once he hears the new film playing. this time he doesn’t say anything, but you notice his eyes struggling to stay open as he yawns literally every waking minute.
“gojo why don’t you go back to your dorm to sleep? you can barely keep your eyes open,” you giggle at him as he tries to look offended but clearly doesn’t have to energy to. “mn-mm. ‘m watchin… with my wife.” he yawns mid sentence. “well i’m not your wife, soooo…”
“you are my wife… we’re married… you remember.” you know he normally only says stuff like that to get under your skin, but sometimes it sounds like he truly believes it, which is a bit scary. you can’t even pay attention to the movie with how hard you’re contemplating to get him off you and in his own bed, but it seems there’s truly no solution. he’s a freakishly tall and muscular man with 100% of his body weight on top of you, so you obviously can’t push him off. and he clearly wont willingly get up, and you know you can’t convince him to get up, so you begin to accept that you might actually be stuck here.
“ill let you stay if you grab the bag of candy for me,” gojo seems to be too tired to remember that there’s nothing you can do to force him to leave and he easily could’ve refused. he lazily throws the bag onto the bed beside you before plopping himself right back where he was before. “now lemme stay.” you roll your eyes instinctively, grabbing the bag and picking out one of the candies gojo had picked for you. he lets out one last yawn before allowing his tiredness to consume him.
as you open up the sweets and start eating, you look down at gojo. you never really took a moment to actually realize how pretty he really is, and especially how cute he looks while he sleeps. as creepy as that sounds. you think it’s because his mouth is finally shut and he’s not saying the most annoying sentences he can come up with, or constantly blabbering to you about stuff you never asked him about and have no interest in. you honestly didn’t mind this heavy man peacefully asleep on top of you as you eat candy and watch a movie. it was quite nice, actually. maybe you’ll start to allow gojo to do things like this more often.
i really had no idea how to end this :SOB: but it turned out well i hope. pls send requests btw i have ZERO idea what to write neext
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sorry to vent a little before new ep tonight, queso, but im kinda tired of two mindsets. one is the whole idea that buck wouldn't naturally come the conclusion about his feelings for eddie but would have to be TOLD about them, and the other is the continuous "helena diaz led the charge to steal christopher away!!!!" because... wtf did we not watch the same show?
like. i don't believe buck has romantic feelings for eddie at all, but even if he did, it's just SO weird to me that i keep seeing people be like "maddie has to tell him!" and "tommy will tell him it's actually eddie!" and whatnot. like... buck's a grown man. if anything, he might talk to someone like maddie and she would ask questions that would make him think deeper about the situation and come to his own conclusion. whyyyy do BoBs keep treating buck like he's this big stupid idiot who could never realize his own feelings and has to be TOLD them? has he ever had someone point blank tell him his feelings before? i'd have to rewatch the show but it feels like the most anyone (bobby, maddie, etc) has been a listening ear when he needs it and asked him questions to help him figure himself out. i don't think anyone's had to say "buck ur clearly in love with [whoever] you dumb shit" :/ like idc abt ppl who ship peacefully but u would think some ppl might want a modicum of respect to one half of the ship to know himself well enough to figure out how he feels.
and ugh the helena (and ramon, but helena gets the most strife from fans) diaz thing. at first i thought "maybe they have a point" because i hadn't finished season 7 until very recently, but i watched those episodes and like... chris wasn't talking to eddie. chris didn't want to see his dad at all because he was so hurt and angry. he calls the people who he knew would drop everything to come to him AND have the power to put their foot down and do what he wants. while i think i know as a viewer that if chris HAD brought the subject up to eddie, eddie would have heard him out and tried to talk it out... but why would chris know that? i would have done the same shit as a kid and would have deeply appreciated having an adult who will stick up for what i need right now. i just dont get why people constantly think that helena is this evil witch who masterminded a way to steal chris away when chris himself told them (not buck, who he likely thinks would have taken eddie's side; not eddie, who he wasn't speaking to) that he wanted to go back to texas. like, yeah, eddie did have a strained relationship with his parents, they did doubt his ability to raise christopher... but wasn't that plot literally resolved at the end of season 2 with them accepting chris and eddie staying in L.A. or am i misremembering??? its been a while
its just. its frustrating, and i get that its the normal fandom shit of people having different interpretations, but sometimes it feels like some people don't even watch the show or understand how shows work. like. sometimes something is a plot for one season, and then it gets wrapped up and we're supposed to go "okay, this plot is over, things are good now" or "this plot is over, it could have been handled better, but we're not supposed to go move forward thinking these people are horrible and evil" or even the one i feel toward other shows "this fucking SUCKED im gonna write fanfic about it because the shows not gonna bring it up or address it better."
The problem is that both of these mindsets are firmly planted from fanon.
They treat Buck like he's some stupid guy that can't make his own decisions. The woobify him to a degree that is so very cringe that, at least me, I couldn't even read Buddie fanfiction when I thought I'd give it a go.
And when it comes to the hate flung at Helena it's so unwarranted. Yes, when Eddie left to LA with Chris Eddie's mom didn't think it was a good idea but what people don't look at is the fact that Eddie had JUST gotten back from Afghanistan and suddenly he's going to take Chris to another state and be a single father? That's tough.
The Diaz parents obviously love Chris, and them bringing him back to Texas is what CHRIS wanted. It was his decision. No one else's.
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midnight sky
one
what you were doing was absolutely insane! you just met the man not even twenty four hours ago. but the connection the two of you had was incredible, almost like you were made for each other. maybe you were.
the day started off like every other morning. you groaned as your alarm clock went off, got out of bed, took a quick shower, brushed your teeth, and finally made it down town to your favorite local coffee shop.
you ordered a basic coffee and a pastry before sitting in your normal spot, far in the back. you took your laptop out of your bag and began grading papers, groaning and rolling your eyes at the students who didn’t turn in a paper yet.
after about thirty minutes you heard commotion outside. normally you’d ignore it. it’s new york city after all, it was always filled with nosy people. today was different! flashes came from the window, almost blinding you more than the sun.
you heard people screaming as if someone fell and died. you looked up and saw the paparazzi outside. frowning, you grabbed your things and headed for the door.
“shit! im sorry, love!”
groaning at your coffee spilling on the ground, you were ready to yell at whoever this pretentious actor or whatever he was! not caring if the media and his fans tore you a new one.
“watch where you—”
you couldn’t even finish your sentence. he was the most beautiful man you had ever seen. from his buzzed hair cut, beautiful brown eyes, tattooed neck, and his attire. he was the most attractive man you’ve ever seen.
“are you alright, babe?” even his accent was perfect.
“uh—yeah—yeah! im sorry.”
he chuckles, “it’s my fault, really.”
you were frozen. completely mesmerized by this beautiful man in front of you. your heart skipped a beat.
“it’s fine—um, i should get going.” you began walking away, pushing through the loads of paps. you needed to get far away so you could get that man out of your mind.
unfortunately the moment you got home you looked him up. you needed to know who he was and where he was from. you searched the location of the coffee shop and found tmz reporting the images.
“zayn malik. fuck, even his name is perfect!” you dived into everything zayn malik and began to sigh. soon you find his instagram, noticing he only had a few post. you assumed he deleted his old post due to him starting a new era for his next album.
biting your lip you sigh as you close your eyes processing. god, where you an idiot for even thinking about messaging him. maybe? you knew he probably got thousands of messages everyday, but it was something about him. you click on his profile, clicked on message, and began typing.
‘hi..god, you probably won’t see this, most likely won’t even open it, won’t bat an eye, but i thought i should text you. i guess im intrigued you could say.’
you wait patiently until you heard your phone vibrate. you had never picked up your phone so quickly. you smiled hugely when you saw it was him that sent you a message.
‘hey! normally i don’t open this app unless im posting something about me music or a selfie. coffee shop girl, right?’
smiling, you typed,
‘yeah! sorry about spilling that coffee by the way. im normally not that clumsy.’
‘haha!’
‘it’s cool, babe. got a three year old! use to clumsy.’
‘oh? didn’t noticed you had a kid. gonna be honest, i kinda went on a bit of a stalker session finding you.’
‘really? that’s cute!’
‘yeah! got a daughter. she’s the sweetest thing ever!’
‘i love kids! i always wanted to teach kids instead of middle schoolers. kids love to color and draw. middle schoolers love to gossip and fight.’
‘ha! not ready for that at all!’
‘you’re a teacher, huh? that was my career path before i became a musician.’
‘i enjoy teaching! wanted to since i could remember!’
‘you guys are doing great work! deserve a pay raise!!’
‘tell that to the us government. 😩’
‘fuck them all!!!’
‘agreed!’
‘how bout i meet you up for a coffee? promise, no paps this time?’
‘right now?’
‘yeah…is that okay, babe?’
‘yeah—yeah! ill be there in twenty.’
‘cool! see you soon ;)’
you never got ready so fast in your life. heading downstairs from your building and walking a few blocks to the coffee shop, you spot zero paps and zayn sitting inside your booth. you smile before walking into the building. when he spots you, he smiles at you, stands up, and gives you a hug.
“hey.”
“hi.” you sit in the seat right across from him.
“never got your name. your instagram account doesn’t give it away.”
you blush. you created your instagram when you were in middle school. being overly obsessed with harry potter as a kid and extremely dorky, you had to go with ‘voldedork_hp,’
you never got around to changing it. now you regret that decision one hundred percent. “im sorry about that. a little embarrassed.”
“don’t be! it’s cute. im a huge harry potter fan myself. i went as voldemort last halloween as a mater-of-fact.”
“my names yn.”
“it’s nice to meet you yn. you have a lovely name by the way.”
you snort. feeling like your name was completely bland compared to his!
“may i ask where you’re from? your accent, it’s pretty thick, even for someone born in the uk.”
zayn chuckles. “yeah! m’from bradford england. my pops is pakistani so my accent comes out a little bit stronger i guess. what about you? you don’t sound like a new yorker.” he takes a sip of his coffee.
“im not! born and raised in texas actually.”
“texas, huh? you’re a little way from home, yeah?”
“i got a full scholarship for new york university! i couldn’t pass on that opportunity.”
“brains and beauty, huh?”
you blush. he was definitely a flirt! the two of you got to know one another for the next four hours. you both lost track of time. zayn phone blows up and he continues to ignore it. enjoying his time getting to know the pretty woman across from him. you were loving the company and conversation. it felt like you knew each other for the longest time. you were both laughing and listening to each other tell some crazy story. it felt right.
“how about we get out of this coffee shop, yeah? maybe walk around new york? i promise, no paps. i know places they’ll never go.” he winks at you. you nod before getting out of the booth. zayn grabs your hand and interlocks your fingers.
you were surprised but you didn’t object or pull away. zayn paid for his coffee, leaving a generous tip before leaving. you walk hand and hand around new york, enjoying each other’s company. you continued to talk about everything. the two of you got along so well, you felt crazy for already falling for him. you just met the man! how could you already have such strong feelings for the musician? were you seriously losing your mind? you just couldn’t help how you felt though.
zayn felt the same way. it’s why, standing in front of a courthouse, holding your hand as the moonlight shines, he got the craziest idea. he stops, looks you in the eye, and caresses your cheek. “may i kiss you, babe?”
you blushed, nodding nonetheless. when his lips touched yours, you felt the whole world stopped. god, how could such a beautiful man be this perfect? when he pulls away he grabs your hand and runs across the street. it was like faith, standing in front of a kay jewelers and a bridal shop. you laugh as he looks at you with the biggest grin on his face.
“what?”
“this is gonna be the craziest thing ive ever done or said but, i just—i feel like ive known you for the longest time. you’re beautiful, funny, smart, and amazing. i—i feel like we’re meant to be, meant to meet each other. and you, god maybe this is insane! you can totally say no, kick my ass, slap me, whatever you want, but this is just perfect. it’s almost like faith,”
“what is it?” you asked nervously.
“a jeweler, a bridal shop, and a courthouse right across the street. maybe this is the universe telling us to just go for it. let’s get married.”
normally if a man had asked you this you’d laugh in his face. you’d think he was absolutely insane for even suggesting this idea. but seeing all the key details, it’s like a story from a fairytale! who were you to pass up a fairytale story?
“okay!”
“yeah?”
you nod your head. zayn kisses you passionately before calling up taryn to be a witness! once he convinced her, he grabs your hand, head into the jewelry parlor, the two of you pick your rings before going to the bridal shop and grabbing the most gorgeous dress and a suit, before heading across the street to officially get married.
“are we doing this, forreal?”
“yeah, yeah we are! let’s get married, baby!”
and before you know it, you become misses malik. a true fairytale.
i really hope you all like this fic! it’s not enough zayn fics out there and i need people to make some!
what do you think?
if you wanna be added to taglist please don’t hesitate to ask!!!
#zayn smut#zayn x black fem!reader#zayn x fem!reader#zayn zquad#zayn x reader#zayn imagine#zayn fanfic#zayn mailk#zayn fluff#icarus falls#mind of mine#nobody is listening#room under the stairs#midnight sky jqhotchner
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I've got one for ya. What were the first kisses in the N/V/Uzi relationship like. Uzi and N first, Uzi and V's first, and V and N's first.
(Bonus points for V and N's first kiss at the manner for some bittersweet angst)
Also, good golly gumdrops, love your stuff, even if you don't answer this one, still gonna keep enjoying
oh oh i love these kinds of ideas :"D tho it takes a bit of brain power to think of a good scene uhm.... lessee....
Ok so first up, although im still waiting for a canon first kiss for NUzi- since they are a thing now, i still like to think of something separate for my own version- [since obviously the main show isn't going towards a poly dynamic lmao]
See, we all know that the show is fast paced and its hard to find any empty spaces between each event, hell it almost feels like earth was blown apart and the DDs were on copper 9 the next day, Liam we need a fucking timeline order. 🙄 soooooo i personally like to imagine that there's a lot more time between events than is shown in the actual show. like- lets maybe put a few days between Uzi administrating N and V and the arrival of J and Cynessa- like.... maybe lets put a few NIGHTS between that??? what's the freaking rush 😭
But anyway yeah- i would put the first NUzi kiss somewhere around betwenn the camp and the flashback eps probably :p my idea would be that since the camp incidents, Uzi would be having a lot of bodily changes to deal with, one of which being her inability to tolerate the sun much anymore. other things would probably be the growth of literal flesh and blood and bones inside of her and lets make this morbid by adding her throwing up blood but keeping it a secret from everyone :p she may sneak back to the other two at night and stay with them- clearly shaken up- [V probably also being shaken up because on one hand she's terrified of seeing this transformation take place- but at the same time, she clearly cares enough about Uzi AND Ns happiness...] asking for help and advice- and the 3 grow closer during this. They practice with her for flying or controlling her tail- maybe some stuff on her control on oil hunger too. she probably also gets some fighting, sneaking and sparring practice with V-
//insert one of those cheesy moments where V riles up Uzi enough to tag her on the snowy ground but then realizes its the same position she got V in her solver!mode and starts panicking and pushing herself back- V getting back up and asking what the heck was that and Uzi just saying she doesn't want to hurt her and V is an insensitive jerk for making her spar with her in the first place and tries to fly away to calm down-..... which probably just ended with her falling face first in the snow and a lecture from both N and V.
overall they all started subconsciously getting even closer. tbh there's so many things i could add here but i gotta keep it a few NIGHTS not a few MONTHS until the next event 😭
either way during this i guess N and Uzi could have maybe ended up alone at some point- maybe after a flying lesson having gone right and they were a little too happy on top of a building or upturned bus or something lol- i imagine after a hug maybe Uzi asks if she could kiss N but quickly backtracks saying nvm it was stupid or something but N softly says its okay- //probably picks her up too, adding to her embarrassment- cuz she's short lmaooooo// and Uzi just decides to give a small unsure smooch- but decided to make it not too long. they decided to just hug after that to not let the other see them blushing like hell 😭 [also they didn't really decide anything after this cuz they are idiots????😭😭😭]
but anyway for the Vuzi first kiss i have no idea if or when V would return if she's been set to remain alive in the canon- but for me its probably when she appears again in her normal form, as herself. not a clone. Alice isn't alive to take the cores and make them sluggish with heat and the sentinels wouldn't have a chance against the solvers centipede lookin ass form.
Anyway if we consider that one way or another Uzi, N and V will meet up again, [and N and Uzi preferably get to share a better kiss this time-] the first thing Uzi is doing is landing a swift punch in Vs face and then kissing the daylights out of her- //confusing herself and everyone in the area in the process including V herself...// overall she would scold V on the whole "i trust you" shtick and leaving them alone- but yeah :p [ keep in mind that im also considering a few nights between when J and Cynessa show up and when they decide to actually go and find and search the labs, because PLOT REASONS :D ]
as for the first Envee kiss- ill do you one better and make it more angsty and say that N and V used to always spend time with each other and do silly things like hold hands in secret or send internal chat messages to eachother, draw and read books together- maybe N used to put flowers for her sometimes. But at some point a certain little corrupted drone started feeling possessive of her favorite "big brother" figure not spending time with her anymore...
one time, N had asked V if he could kiss her and at that they were both blushing messes but before V could respond they get interrupted- maybe by someone giving them orders or maybe by Cyn. either way, V quickly whispers to him "later, i promise" with a smile, making N happy and giddy. but the later never comes... V becomes comatose soon after... N sadly reading books to her and sometimes whispering to her to wake up and that she still has to keep her promise...
anyway after all things are said and done in the future and the solver is defeated- whether they are still living on copper 9 or any other planet idk- N, V and Uzi are all close, but since both N and V are close to Uzi, they also start spending more time with each other too. maybe one time on a walk or going out and about N was able to catch up with V and they reminisce about old memories they can now remember; and when V was finally able to open up a bit to N, he mentions that he still remembers the promise and asks her if he could kiss her again and she lets him.
and thaaaats all the brain power i have for tonight... i think... hope it made yall smile or cry or idk something lmao. :")
#snowballflo#snow rambles#murder drones#nuzi#vuzi#nuziv#envuzi#biscuitbites#violetviolence#violentbitingbiscuits#uzi doorman#serial designation n#serial designation v#envy#envee#goldenmemories
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actually don’t read this unless u want to lose respect for me. im in a bad place mentally and don’t know how to cope this is the whining of someone who clearly doesn’t have enough real problems
there is definitely something wrong with me because i am sitting in my bed sobbing and wishing to not exist because i let an advent calendar i really wanted sell out before i could get it and they aren’t making any more of them. i think it’s because the advent calendar was about self care kind of and it was all whimsical and id never seen anything like it. so i felt like it was gonna heal me and get me through a really tough month. i wanted it last year but didn’t get it because it sold out. this year they had it again so i assumed they made it every year. nope. turns out those were the last of them. i haven’t felt this way about not getting something i wanted since i was a child. i feel so childish but it’s actually crushed me. like i genuinely feel like nothing else in the whole world matters. i fucking hate being neurodivergent sometimes like usually i can have adhd pride but right now i fucking hate it and want to be normal and not feel this way. i spent my whole childhood feeling this way and it was awful. feeling like the whole world was ending over experiences or items i didn’t get to have especially when it was my own fault. and not understanding why it effected me so much and wanting to be better and being told i was foolish for caring so much about trivial things. i was so relieved when i grew up and learned to deal with those emotions so i don’t understand why i feel this way about this
it’s just the fact that it will never be back. since they had it two years i thought it would be back next year. so i didn’t rush to buy it as much as i should. ive been imagining that ill have it one day for a whole year. idk why but im just really not okay and im writing this here because i can’t tell anyone i’ll because i sound like an idiot for being so upset. i think i had thsi idea that it was going to fix me. like. all the good vibes from it would fix me. im trying to think of things to comfort me and its not working. this is the most privileged fucking problem to have but at the same time if I were more privileged i would have bought it when i saw it was restocked instead of hesitating due to the money. and also maybe i would be happy enough in other parts of my life for this not to crush me. idk im rationalizing my idiocy.
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i knew with my pattern of fandom it was inevitable before i became obsessed with the og owners of the bodies. i was already highkey obsessed with shen jiu, but i knew it would be only a matter of time before i started to hyper fixate on og!shang qinghua, but man, when it hits, it hits me like a freight train lmfao
i should rlllyyyy stop reading transmigration stories, this always happens to me pfff
gonna just obsess about sibling au's, as is my normal comfort food, and curse the author for not giving me their fucking NAMES so that i could just say "shang jingqi" and have everyone automatically know that i mean og!shang qinghua, the same way that i can just say shen jiu (very fucking grateful i got that at least man)
that said, not necessarily sold on "shang jingqi" as a name for him 🤔it was just kinda a random name i threw out for convenience sake. i saw "shang hua" and "shang houhua" and that one could work, altho im not 100% sold idk
this is why i just wish there was a damn canon name for me to obsess about 😭i overthink fan-names A LOT and i just want to have a canon name. or at least a super commonly accepted fanon name urrrggghhhhhhhh
and like
it's the worst with shang qinghua oki
because it's not even JUST trying to figure out a birth name that satisfies me. because it's like, three fucking names i need to figure out
og!shang qinghua's birth name
airplane!shang qinghua sibling au birth name
airplane's og name from his og world
technicalllyyyy i can prolly combine the last two (and i intend to) but it's still kinda this nagging plot hole in my head that BOTHERS me, because obviously he would have a different name!! oargjauhtiehri
until i see something better though, my answers are gonna be
shang jingqi (no meaning to this, head empty, jingqi is a cute name and i like him so i gave him a cute name)
shang feiyu (yes im trying to be punny with "fei" being from "feiji" (airplane), altho not using that character. i miiiight wind up leaning into the pun 100% and just go with feiji even tho thats a really fucking weird name, maybe make the excuse that the system is making fun of him)
????????????
i might just lean into airplane can't remember his og name because man, this is giving me a headache. istg i have not have been this frustrated since the time i was trying to figure out twin names for lcf twin!cale au's. and like, i had a lot of names to choose from back then! the big problem back then wasnt that the characters didnt have names, but rather that og!cale didn't "own" any of those names in the eyes of the fandom so it created confusion lolol
anyway im getting off point
back to babbling about og!shang qinghua sibling aus
i'm thinking of three types i wanna explore
twin au's. already dipped my toes in it and i like twin aus. it's my normal go-to for this sort of thing lol
older brother og!shang qinghua. ngl, people sold me with their fanart LOL im a weak man to adorable fanart oki
adopted brother au: oki bear with me, but what if baby airplane just gets... dropped into pidw with no family and he gets adopted by one of his scummy canon fodder villains? no blood relations for reassurance (not that airplane gets all that much reassurance from blood relations) just some one who has no obligations to him, who airplane KNOWS has a shitty personality, choosing to adopt him and take care of him? get found family'd, idiot! i just love airplane being the family that someone actively CHOSE
oki so the next thing i need to consider is og!shang qinghua's personality, because lbr, the barebones we get from svsss is noootttt a lot lmfao (og!shang qinghua extra when?). butttt from what we do know, he's supposed to be the sort of person who would work for two bosses, backstabbing either one or both of them
there is actually the potential for og!shang qinghua to be a bit of a su xiyan in this regard 🤔because of the lack of information we have, it's possible he could have actually been a double agent working for cang qiong while pretending to work against it. im not sure i like this path, bc im ngl, i kinda like the characterization of him being a self-serving greedy worm (i have a weakness for characters who are like this okay). but it's worth considering. he could also be playing the game from all angles. cang qiong think he's infiltrating the northern desert on their behalf, mobei-jun thinks he's infiltrating cang qiong on his behalf, and ultimately, og!shang qinghua is 100% his own man who's backstabbing them all LOL
there's also the uncle of it all to consider. linguang-jun is the most viable ally for anyone who might want an upper hand against mobei-jun, and if og!shang qinghua is gutsy enough, he might consider working for him
there's also the possible iteration of him thats 100% cowardly victim who literally never had a choice in any of it and died pathetically after being betrayed by everyone. again, the lack of actual canon info about him makes this possible? and it wouldnt not match up with airplane's pattern with tragic villains. that said, im not a fan of this route bc frankly i'm here for villain-fucking, not for "he was actually the most uwu baby of them all!!!" but i gotta acknowledge the possibility of this category, to actually take into consideration og!shang qinghua's personality. if we think of airplane's pattern with villains tho, none of them are absolutely innocent or kind. shen jiu is undeniably a victim of his circumstances annnnnddddd he also tried to rape ning yingying, so clearly he's not a good dude
there is also a line in the novel where shen yuan says that "shang qinghua was written the same way as shen qingqiu", specifically with regards to being lustful. so it's very likely that og!shang qinghua is into brothels and sex and might be a bit of a horndog
so
with consideration to the above (and anything i forgot that people wanna remind me of because i have the memory of a peanut) the things i wanna consider for his personality are
self serving and greedy (personal preference but it's canon compliant so shhhh)
slutty in at least one way (very likely brothels considering the context and very likely hetero in those slutty ways)
a very good liar (a necessity of the position of a double agent)
good at logistics (thats how you become the an ding peak lord after all)
probably has a tragic backstory (as is airplane's penchant with canon fodder villains)
had a bad relationship with mobei-jun (otherwise canon events dont make sense lol)
alright then theres shipping thoughts to be had >:D bc im shipping scum and this is who i am inside
theres the obvious og!moshang and im definitely here for that, but my airplane x mobei jun obsession is currently consuming me from the inside out sooo lolol so very likely to do some ot3 shenanigans with them at the moment if anything, which works for aus where theyre not related, but since im crawling my way down the shang sibs rabbit hole (and im just not much of an incest shipper lol), i'll table that one for now
shen jiu is worth thinking about, put my slutty canon fodder villains together and see what happens >:D
liu qingge could be hot (also ot3 with liujiu cuz my obsessesion with liujiu is only matched by my moshang obsession LOL). definitely love pairing liu qingge with morally corrupt characters who make him scream "WHY DO I LIKE YOU?!?!?"
sha huling might be kinda hot ngl, i could see them scheming together and also og!shang qinghua resenting the fuck out of luo binghe that he's got the woman of his dreams on retainer and she aint even his main squeeze
wei qingwei is a particularly tantalizing option bc if he was also in charge of the rescue party in pidw, then theres the potential for og!shang qinghua (in contrast to our lil airplane) actually feeling super relieved to see him and developing a really cute "my hero" crush on him~ this is something i will definitely percolate on. might become my fav pick tbh bc the more i think about it, the more i like it >:D
luo binghe is also potential, tho it doesnt fizzle in my brain the same way that bingplane does lol. but i could see potential there
zhuzhi-lang would be pure cracky "i like these two characters so i think they should kiss" LOL. but bear with me, the terminally loyal zhuzhi-lang paired with the terminally disloyal og!shang qinghua equates to a lot of conflict and i am HERE for that oki like the sheer incomprehension of "why the fuck would you be loyal to them at the cost of yourself?? are you stupid?" vs "how can you be such disloyal scum??? what is wrong with you?" (except politer bc zhuzhi-lang lolol) is a combination of contrasting values that i adore to see in a ship
obvs theres airplane x og!shang qinghua and again, i'm here for that, but im currently in sibling au hell so i'll table that for later, but believe me that i see it
qi qingqi, look, my only justification for this one is "it would be hot" and i stand by it LOL
thus far, upon considering my options, i still think i like wei qingwei the most but thats mainly bc i have a canon basis to branch off of and while i love crack (clearly) i also like having a jumping off point. after that, i think it's a tie between zhuzhi-lang and sha hualing (those shang bros sure do love their demons LOL)
conclusions:
og!shangqinghua's birth name is shang jingqi
brother aus are very good, airplane is the best bro a villain could have
he is a greedy, lying, and self serving person and also at least a lil slutty with a tragic backstory
he should totally fuck wei qingwei, zhuzhi-lang, and sha hualing
i am satisfied with my considerations lmao altho i'll prolly make a whole post about how i envision the sibling dynamics between the shang bros because i have THOUGHTS
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dead boy detectives episode six thoughts
HEY. WHAT THE FUCK. normally i talk about things somewhat chronologically but i Cannot skip over this to come back to later. WHY THE FUCK DID EDWIN GET GOT?? motherfucker right when the night nurse was gonna let them stay together at least temporarily to sort it out 😭 girl get him out of there!!!!!
okay i'm taking deep breaths i'm good. it's fine im chill. im so calm and normal right now it's fine. alright time for the rest of the episode.
monty... i'm a little torn bc him getting stabbed and dismembered to be re-crowed by esther is fucked, but also (like i was afraid of!) he was an asshole about edwin not returning his feelings. so... oh well. still a shame and i feel a little bad for him, but significantly less than i would have otherwise. he's not even dead lol, he's just a bird again
the guy in the fish. kashi maybe?? i do not remember his name but he's so fun i love his vibe. i'd invite him to a party tbh, he seems like the kind of guy who's just pleasant to be around bc he's kind and just really does not stress. i love his interactions with the night nurse, he's so calm and a good contrast to her franticness 👍
SPEAKING OF THE NIGHT NURSE. i really like that she hesitated and ultimately decided not to separate them instead of digging in her heels and refusing to believe the system could make a mistake. it's the perfect culmination for her character, and tracks so well with what she believes- not in the system itself exactly, but that it exists for a reason. that the most important thing is to keep everything in order, and if the system is making mistakes that is not order!! especially with her interaction with the cool fish man getting her to pause and take a breath, i'm really happy with how her character is developing and being written she's so good
oh also!! I WAS FUCKING RIGHT IT FEELS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT. I WAS CORRECT!!! EDWIN REALLY IS IN LOVE WITH CHARLES!!!! girl that was foreshadowed and developed so well they mean So much to me!!!!! aaaahahahahaha i do not have words for how delighted this makes me but!!! know that it is so!!!!!
also wait i just realized this is so funny. edwin attempts to confess his gay love and almost immediately gets sent to hell. girl what is this supernatural?
anyway. i noticed that the bracelet broke, so hopefully when the cat king comes back they'll be able to interact on more even footing. (assuming. i mean. assuming edwin doesn't stay in hell 😭 i really hope they get him out... there are two episodes left so? exciting season finale rescue please? pretty please for me??)
speaking of which. did anyone else think it was hot when edwin, upon being faced with the cat king attempting to stop him from warning charles and crystal, went off on him and told him that the binding spell is all he is? bc that was hot! idk i just really enjoyed edwin snapping back at the cat king, who up til now has essentially held all the power in their interactions. it was immensely satisfying, bc yeah! if you were not literally magically holding him prisoner you would be nothing to him bitch!!! you need to cast a binding spell on a guy to get him to even notice you exist!!!
sorry haha i simply do not like the cat king. i enjoy his vibe and the cunt he gives off but he has fully and completely lost the battle for my respect with how he treats edwin, someone he's interested in who has rejected him. lol get disregarded idiot try a romance tactic other than weird power imbalances and coercion next time
is it just me or do these posts keep getting longer?? there is So Much this episode to talk about!! we got walrus guy backstory (fascinating!), crystal's demon ex putting her down and getting whacked with a magic cricket bat (satisfying! eat shit daniel), mushroom forest elemental extradimensional creature (scary as hell? but also it was hilarious crystal went 'hey u don't have to eat my friends u can just not' and the mushroom was like 'oh shit really? damn my bad bye' and that fucking Worked that's so funny i love it)
crystal... what do i say about crystal i love her!!!! holy shit. her losing her powers to bar her ex from her head, being afraid she's useless without them, and then reclaiming them by looking deeper within her and reconnecting with her heritage.... ough that's so good!!! i love that so much, and i love love love how far her and edwin's friendship has come. "i have come to value you" he's saying you're friends!! you're friends and he cares about you because you're friends, not because you have cool and helpful powers. motherfucker im gonna cry
and niko & jenny!! god that scene was so real. jenny's obviously bad with emotions, but it was really sweet of her to reassure niko as best she can. and yeah the librarian being murderous wasn't niko's fault, but also the situation only happened because niko went against jenny's express wishes to find her secret admirer and set up a date. so it's reasonable for jenny to not be ready to forgive her for that yet, bc that shit was absolutely traumatizing as hell and niko still played a part even if it wasn't fully her fault. but still, jenny puts that aside long enough to talk things out with niko, and i love both of them so much 😭
i thought i got this out at the start but NO. FREE MY BOY EDWIN HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!! let him out!!!!!!! give him back and i want him and charles to hug again!!!! and also more interactions with him and niko their friendship is very sweet!!!!! give him back to me please im devastated 😭😭😭
#pat.txt#pat watches dbd#dead boy detectives#is the demon's name daniel? idk man i can't be bothered to care he's not important to me#i'd rather learn fish guy's name he seemed cool#also. im thinking about it but. what the Fuck was that spider thing#why was it like... round? but a lot of round. like boils or some shit. awful horrifying im actually a little glad i didn't get a good look#i just know that shit's gonna be emotionally scarring 😭#LET MY BOY EDWIN OUT. I NEED TO GO WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE NOW I NEED TO KNOW HES GONNA BE OKAY
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How is Jeff and Valerie’ relationship in your au?
When and how did Valerie and Jack first meet?
Also if Emiko and Valerie were to meet each other how would Valerie interact with each other? 😼
i did make a post abt jeff and val's relationship awhile back, i'll link it here but i do want to talk abt them again bc i've expanded it in my head 😼
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at some point in eyho, i want them to get kinda closer but not super close.. like not best friends but close enough for them to hangout together with ben and nina every now and then.
anywho I want their friendship to be kind of a plot device (i hope thats the right term) because Jack getting jealous of Jeff is how he stops being in denial about his feelings 😼
it's not a love triangle because jeff and val are genuinely just friends, the main conflict between the three of them is just jack being a stupid idiot for a bit until he finally accepts that he's in love 😭
HOWEVER! jeff and jack do have a physical fight over it. for some reason emo idiots fighting is my favorite trope in everything. i'll just write what happens in bullet points bc it'll be easier lawl
jack realizes jeff and val are becoming closer friends and he gets platonically and romantically jealous (because val is like his only friend and he has feelings for her, though he's in HEAVY denial)
after like a week and a half of trying to hide the fact that he feels his relationship with val is threatened, all the conflicting emotions swirling around in his head end up boiling over and he ends up confronting jeff in the forest when he's out for a smoke
at first jack doesn't say anything he just kinda stares like a weirdo because he's a complete idiot when it comes to feelings and he genuinely has no idea what he wants to say
and then as jeff is asking him "dude are you okay" jack just.. punches him. and then when jeff starts yelling like "WHAT THE FUCK MAN" jack is just like "oh my god im so sorry i was NOT thinking"
and then jeff punches him and normally jack would win that fight but he just kinda lets it happen because he feels like he deserves it (he kinda does atp) and then after awhile both of them just sit down with bloody noses and bruised knuckles
and then after like 20 seconds of silence jack just says "i think i'm in love with valerie." and jeff just replies "is that seriously what this is over"
anyways thats about it 😊 i havent really figured out what happens after that so :P
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i really dont remember if i made a post about how jack and val met before so i'll just try to briefly explain how it happened
jack already knew about val because she stabbed jeff out of fear when she became a proxy (poor girl was confused and scared it was her first time being fully concious in like 3 years) and obviously that caused kind of a scene 😭
but they offically met a day or two after that. Jack was going to go to her room as soon as she became a proxy and just kinda wander around her forest but Slenderman stopped him and basically said "You're probably just gonna scare the daylights out of her if she's awake, I don't really want anyone to bother her rn" and then Jack's like "yeah that probably makes sense"
Slender told him he should wait at least two days for her to relax but for a reason I havent really figured out yet Jack is REALLY curious about her. Or he's just extremely lonely and bored.
So the day after Val joins the mansion Jack goes to her forest and he was just planning to walk around and not go to her room, but as soon as he steps foot she tries to attack him lol
After like a minute of tussling and Jack trying to tell her he's not a threat she ends up biting his hand and messing up his thumb. The bite ends up startling him enough that he just pauses and looks at his hand for a few seconds until he looks up and realizes that she ran away. Anyways he just ends up leaving since he doesn't want to scare her again and when he's back at his room he just stares at his hand and then he suddenly feels like.. happy. Basically he didn't think there would be anyone else like him ever but meeting Val kinda changed his perspective.. hopefully that makes sense.
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I think Val would be kind of weirded out by Emiko at first, but more in a curious way than in a freaked out way. Like i genuinely think Val would be so fascinated by Emiko lmao.
I feel like if they got close they'd hang out but the "hanging out" is just staring at each other in silence for an hour. Murder yuri 💗
#wweirdocs#wweirdasks#eyho!crp#creepypasta#creepypasta oc#creepypasta fandom#crp#crp oc#crp fandom#jeff the killer#eyeless jack#deerstalker creepypasta
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