#JUST BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS A LIL WORRIED BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE IMMEDIATELY TRYING TO START SOMETHING?

[mythvoiced]

@theimpalpable | the GBEP

If Samuel could will a hole into existence every time he so desperately needs one to just swallow him whole and drag him to the centre of the Earth, a coffin designed perfectly for the kind of messes he's been creating all around this already doomed planet, he'd have turned said doomed planet into the oddest piece of Swiss Cheese ever come into existence.

Which is either a very funny thought or he's bordering on succumbing to the hysterics curling his lips into that odd smile he can't shake off his lips, no matter how inappropriate it feels to wear.

His hands are pressed into his face, eyes freed still and staring at nothing at all, his fingers buried into the beginnings of his hair, messing what is already pretty messy on its own.

This is a nightmare. He hardly has the mental capacity necessary to recognize the possible and very likely implications and ramifications of the creatures he set out into the world, the slow march of decay swaggering about along the bottom of the ocean; being sat directly next to the direct consequences of his actions isn't any easier to stomach as a result, in fact, he's pretty certain that his desiring this to be a dream is teetering dangerously close to him starting to convince himself it is a dream.

Which, of course, would be violently useful.

A psychotic break in the middle of a bar next to a guy who's life he's ruining.

He groans, hands moving to slide over his face, rub into his eyes until he sees stars and begs them to come down upon him like vengeful angels and strike him off the face of the planet. Maybe that would do it. Maybe his death would kill everything he's created along with him, kind of like... killing the sire of a vampire...

"The Sazerac, please," Samuel manages to interject pathetically, which he assumes is not the tone of voice bartenders prefer out of their clients in terms of who they decide to serve and who they'd rather see out of their establishment in the next few 'immediately please'. Samuel has never been refused service before, never thrown enough back to give any barkeep reason to, never crumbled in public in a way obvious enough that it leaves any impression.

But, then again, he's also never half-assed a plot outline and have it lead to meeting the guy said plot outline had forced into itself, perhaps in a weird attempt on the universe's part to fix what he can't, to finally be the author he should be.

Oh, great, an existential crisis on top of the 'supernatural' crisis.

Samuel looks up when the barkeep returns with a glass and doesn't even have the energy to pretend he's surprised when it turns out to be water. He sighs, curses his existence with the exhausted resignation of someone who's given up on trusting in self-curses, and grabs the glass.

He manages a wry smile, charming and handsome, that the stranger is, which is perhaps part of the reason he'd fit so fucking well into the kind of story Samuel had attempted to emulate. Clichés upon clichés, all he'd managed to scratch together, who doesn't love a good explorer story and a Nathan Drake to charm anyone who'd swoon at the easy smile and easy wit?

If anything, Samuel is slowly becoming self-deprecatingly surprised he hadn't realized the moment the stranger had turned his head his way, that this is who he'd been looking for.

He'd tried to find something new to add, something fresh to add to the genre, something to stand out with, and that's precisely while it's now half-deceased and half-abandoned somewhere in a pile of notes with stories just like it.

He hadn't come up with anything that would have made it worth reading above others just like it.

"No, I... I don't think you'll die," Samuel finds himself uttering back, an open-mouthed drag of his mouth to one side to put emphasis on the word 'die', all while he unconsciously peeks over the stranger's arm to watch his sketch unfold. Oh. He can draw, too, he muses, subconsciously adjusting the glasses he sees reflected on the paper.

Charming, handsome, creative, extroverted, makes easy conversations and commands a scenario without ever making Samuel feel like he's backed into a corner by a personality much louder than his own. A guy, friendly, but not overly so.

Samuel has no idea if the plot chose him because who wouldn't fancy a heartthrob protagonist like that - which is honestly just embarrassing to admit - or because if Samuel could pay money to have any of those qualities...

The usual. Is he hot or do I just really, really wish I were him?

Samuel takes a big sip of his water.

He's loosing his goddamn mind.

He's hoping he won't die. He had briefly considered... perhaps a good way to stand out would be to... just...

He slams his hand onto the stranger's arm, eyes blown wide in a frantic panic to fix something he can't fix and prevent something not even happening yet. "Can I have your number?"

He gives himself a few seconds of sirens blaring in his ears before he connects the dots of how he sounds and recoils, only to lurch forward again, an odd dissonance of pulling away, but not appearing... what? Exactly? Damn the bartender for refusing him that drink.

"Not- not like that, wait- uhm, I'm Samuel, hi, nice to meet you, do you think we could...? As in, I would like to help. I think I might be able to- I think you might need my help- this will sound ridiculous, do--?"

He closes his eyes, counts to ten, hates himself a little more, opens them again with an exhale.

"I think I'm partly or mostly to blame for your situation but the reason why I believe that will make me sound insane. But I... need you to believe me and I think... listen, can we talk somewhere else? Maybe...? Or... some other time? Or...?"

[holdmytesseract]

moodboard by @chennqingg | divider by @jiyascepter

Soothing Your Aches

Jotun!King!Loki x fem!Æsir!Queen!Reader

Summary: Your caring husband is always there to soothe your aches - no matter when or where.

Warnings: protective!Loki, pregnancy stuff, nudity, bit of suggestive smut, fluuuff

Word Count: 1,7k

a/n: This lil' oneshot is based on an idea from @eleniblue ! I just had to write it, because it's so sweet! Also, I'm so sorry it took me sooo long to get this posted... Hope you like it nevertheless. 🥰

Ice Flower AU Masterlist ❄ Loki Masterlist ❄ Masterlist

"Have you seen the queen?" Loki addressed one of your personal guards, Ivan, as he was rushing down the corridor towards the throne room; emerald green cape flying behind him.

Ivan nodded. "Yes, my king. Your wife was searching for you. I told her you were out in the city." The king of Jotunheim nodded. "Where did she go?" "I saw her going into the direction of the royal chambers, your majesty."

Loki snorted, "I just came from there, Ivan. She isn't there." and gritted his teeth; feeling the anger - caused by his worry, rise within his body. The king just couldn't help himself. It was the fault of his instincts to protect what was his - like so often.

Loki took a deep breath; trying to control his temper. "You have one job, Ivan! Keeping an eye on the queen and her safe whenever I'm away is the only task you've been burdened with - and you fail." The king shook his head, while Ivan obediently lowered his head. "I apologise, my king, I-" The young Jotun tried to explain, but got immediately interrupted. "She is pregnant, for the Norns sake! This isn't just about my wife anymore!"

Ivan swallowed visibly; fear reflecting in his ruby eyes. Loki still tried to keep his anger at bay; knowing that this was the first mistake of your guard. He tried to have mercy.

"I-I know, y-your highness, b-but-" Ivan got interrupted once more. "You are dismissed for today. Now get out of my sight, before I change my mind."

The guard knew that this was his king showing forgiveness and mercy, so he bowed, "T-Thank you, m-my king." and quickly left.

Loki took another deep breath, before he decided to ask one of the maids about your whereabout.

"Tola," his deep voice caused the blond haired maid, who was currently cleaning his presence chamber, to jump slightly and shriek up. "King Loki! Apologies!" She curtsied. "You scared me a bit." Loki shook his head. "I should apologise. I didn’t mean to scare you... Do you know where my wife is?" She nodded. "Sure, my king. Queen Y/N told me that she was going to take a bath in the royal bathing chamber. I offered my help, but she wished to be alone."

A relieved breath left the Jotun's lips. "Thank you." Tola curtsied once more. "Of course, your highness." With a curd nod, Loki turned on his heels and left again; his feet leading him straight towards the bathing chamber.

He could already smell the scent of your soaps and rich oils miles away. It caused him to smile.

Once he entered the bathing chamber, warm, wet air and slight steam welcomed him - alongside your beautiful voice humming an old Norse song.

It's been a long day for the king and all he wished now was to spend time with you and especially to take care of you, as well as the growing offspring within your womb.

Loki quickly started to undress, until he wore nothing more than his loin cloth. Sure, he could've joined you completely nude, but the king didn't wish to 'pressure you' into something. He wanted to take care of you - and if it would include making love, he wasn't going to complain. If not, Loki was more than alright with it.

Smiling, he rounded the corner to face the big pool you were in; leaning against the edge with your head tilted back and eyes closed. One hand held onto the edge, while the other was cupping your swollen belly; gently stroking the wet skin.

Loki watched you for a moment; admired the absolute stunning woman he had married.

"I hope you don't mind if I join you, my queen?"

Your eyes immediately flew open at your husband's words and you looked over; meeting his beautiful ruby eyes.

You smiled.

"No, of course not. In fact, it is highly appreciated. Please do join me, my king." Loki ran a hand through his now damp curls and proceeded to step inside the water and swim over to you.

You welcomed your husband with open arms, of course, given the fact that you hadn't seen him almost the whole day.

"Hello," you whispered against his lips; crossing your arms behind his neck. Loki smirked; wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you as close as your almost five-month-bump allowed. "Hello, Flower." The gap between the two of you quickly melted away, as your lips moulded perfectly against Loki's.

After exchanging several much needed kisses, Loki settled behind you against the quite comfortably built pool edge; pulling you back against his bare chest.

"How are you feeling today, love?" He asked in a gentle voice. His hands came to rest underneath your belly; supporting the weight of your bump. "Honestly?" You sighed. "It could be better. The muscles in my back hurt, just like my feet do. I have stomach cramps already the whole day and felt very dizzy this morning. That's why I decided to take a bath; hoping it would relax my muscles and ease the pain at least a bit."

Loki nuzzled the wet skin of your neck and pulled you even closer against him. "Apologies, Flower. I hate to see you in pain and struggling." Your husband's lips trailed a path of soft kisses from your shoulder up to the shell of your ear. You couldn't help but smile; feeling the butterflies within you running wild. Wild for this man.

"Can I do something for you, my queen? I wish to help." Your smile even widened. Loki was the best husband you could've wished for. "Especially since I am the one to blame for this..." You could practically hear the smirk and playfulness in his voice - and giggled. "Don't say this like we both didn't wish for it to happen." "Well... Point taken." A deep chuckle rumbled through his chest, before he breathed another kiss on the side of your neck.

"Now, how can I help, Flower?"

"Hmm..." You thought; being already way too lost and addicted to his touch. You barely saw him today, after all... "Perhaps a massage later? But for now, just hold me, please. I enjoy your warmth and touch-" You felt a nudge against your abdominal wall and bladder, causing you to smile. "Just like the twins," you completed your sentence.

Loki hummed behind you; thumbs starting to trace a pattern in the naked skin on the underside of your bump. "As you wish, my darling."

After the bath, Loki wrapped you up in a big, fluffy, warm towel, and even carried you back towards your shared chambers.

"There we are..." He said; gently kicking the door shut with his foot. You just smiled with your head tucked in the crook of his neck; inhaling his scent. Loki set you down on your spacious marital bed and pressed a sweet kiss on your lips, before he quickly crossed the room in order to tend to the fireplace. The fire was still burning. Loki just had to make sure it was enough to keep you warm.

"Are you warm enough, my queen?" You nodded; giving him a loving, but definitely drowsy smile. "Currently, yes. Now come here, please..." Loki smiled, "In a moment, Flower." and winked, before he vanished in the bathroom, in order to fetch the best massage oils in the whole kingdom. You received them from a healer on Asgard.

Your husband took the comfortable chair, which stood a bit offsides and actually served as an extra seating possibility in front of the fireplace and sat down beside your side of the bed. His free hand inched closer to your body, while he threw you a smouldering look.

"May I unwrap you, Flower? I heard you are in need of my hands." Mischievous, naughty scamp, you thought with a giggle. "Please do, dear husband."

Loki helped you to free your upper body of its confines, but made sure that your legs and feet were still covered in furs and keeping you warm.

"Turn on your side for me, my love." You did what he said; presenting him your bare back. It was a bit of an awkward angle, but there was no other way than this for a massage. You couldn't turn on your stomach - for obvious reasons.

"There we go." Loki squeezed some oil on his big palm, made sure to coat his other palm as well and then started to gently massage your uptight muscles. "Mhhh..." You sighed as he worked on a particular tight knot. The king chuckled lowly. "Your reaction tells me that I must be doing something right. Does it feel good?" You giggled; nodding. "It always feels good when you touch me, my king. No matter the situation." "Thank the Norns then that I enjoy touching you very much. No matter the situation." You could practically hear the smirk on his lips. "Win win situation, sweetheart."

After Loki massaged your sore and aching back, you felt way better and relaxed - but your husband wasn't finished yet.

"Would my lovely wife turn on her back again? I think there are cramps who need to be eased as well..." You smiled; following his instructions once more.

The king's eyes travelled from your face down the length of your upper body; lingering on your bump for a moment longer, before his ruby eyes returned to meet your Y/E/C ones.

"You are stunningly beautiful, my queen. Absolutely radiant. Perfect, for me." You couldn't stop your cheeks from redding at his words. "Thank you." Loki leaned over to kiss you lovingly, then began to gently rub the oil in the skin of your belly as well.

You never thought that it would feel this good, but it did - and the babies seemed to enjoy it as well. You could sense it. "They pretty much enjoy the touch of their father," you giggled; looking at Loki. He smiled; nodding amusingly. "I can positively feel it, yes." You giggled again. "Now shush, my queen. Rest and just enjoy," he teased you a bit. "Yes, my king." You took a deep breath and closed your eyes; trying to be calm. You were kinda surprised that it worked that well.

In fact it probably worked too good...

"I'm relieved to see that this seems to help you." Loki got no response. "Flower? Love?" Frowning, he lifted his head - only to see that you slept in. The king smiled; placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and made sure to tuck you properly in.

Tags: @eleniblue @muddyorbsblr @mochie85 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jaidenhawke @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @multifandom-worlds @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @huntedmusicgardenn @lokiforever @fictive-sl0th @lokisgoodgirl @smolvenger @hisredheadedgoddess28 @icytrickster17 @chennqingg @glitchquake @princess-ofthe-pages @crimson25 @elegantcheesecakecrown @buttercupcookies-blog @mypainischronicbutmyassisiconic @herdetectivetheorist @loz-3 @brokenpoetliz @km-ffluv @stupidthoughtsinwriting @jennyggggrrr @lady-rose-moon @lovingchoices14 @salvinaa @irishhappiness @sheris532 @princessdragon23 @xxannyxx @kimanne723 @mandywholock1980 @the-holy-trinity-l @loki-laufeyson223 @vbecker10 @buttercupcookies-blog @comicalivy

[nyaagolor]

Ranking the Ace Attorney main cast on whether or not I think they'd be a narc

I was making a more coherent, serious post about the different approaches to justice each of the characters have and how that is shaped by their backstory... and then I realized a funnier question is what they would do if they saw you eating a weed brownie so I made this post instead

Phoenix: In the trilogy era, yes. He trusts people, but believes that trust has to be built on pursuing justice and always accepting the harsh reality. He'd be sad about it, but a narc nonetheless. In his Beanix era he's making his money through "totally legal gambling" and on the hunt for questionably legal evidence so I have no doubt in my mind there's a pot farm under the WAA for supplemental income. He gives up his narc ways and for that I salute him

Apollo: If I were to pick a single member of this cast who is NOT invited to the rotation it would be him. He had zero hesitation throwing Kristoph to the wolves after working for him for years so I know he has absolutely zero qualms about ratting out his friends or coworkers. Loyalty means nothing in the eyes of justice and it means nothing to him. He's a narc.

Athena: She's gonna lecture you and look all sad about it, but she's no snitch. She's been through the rounds with Simon so she gets it. Having to know you hurt her feelings is enough of a punishment in her eyes

Edgeworth: He's not a narc but he IS obsessed with being right, so if you don't immediately fess up with exactly what you're doing he's going to send your stoned ass to the chess dimension and honestly I think that's worse

Franziska: Unfortunately she is a cop. Narc.

Godot: Diego-era yeah he's a narc, but after the coma? I feel like he has better things to worry about, he would just ignore you. He has some soul searching to do and some grief complexes to unlearn he doesn't have the time to be a lil snitch. Post prison I think he's stoned somewhere in Kurain and chillaxing, as is his right

Klavier: Don't let his rockstar attitude fool you he's a narc and extremely annoying about it. The gavinners tour bus is dry as hell and it's all Klavier's fault. Daryan offers him a line and he gets all uppity and says "the only LINE i want you doing is the third line in the prechorus, you keep messing up the syncopation" and that's the end of that discussion

Simon: He's been in prison so he knows what's up. Not a narc. Might glare at you until you share though

Nahyuta: He's a narc and will lecture you so long about it you're tempted to turn yourself in to get out of earshot. He also never forgets and never forgives. Datz is trying to reform him but it isn't going well

Sebastian: Yes, but I think the idea of him having to turn in someone for it would make him cry so they end up comforting him instead. Kay thinks he needs to try a weed brownie

Maya: I want you to look at me and tell me she doesn't smoke weed. Not a narc

Pearl: I think if she found out that her big sister figure smoked weed she would have a heart attack. Def a narc

Trucy: I can say with absolute certainty that if you really wanted weed she could find you a dealer faster than anyone in the cast. Trucy is a magician and has grown up around a variety of people involved with some seedier institutions, she knows better than to snitch. Has not been and will never be a narc

Kay: Will help you shoplift. Not a narc

Gumshoe: A narc on principle, but would feel really bad about it and would probably let you off with a warning if you started crying or acting upset because I think he's a softie. He's not unreasonable

Ema: If you think she has even the tiniest sliver of respect for cops you're lying to yourself. Not a narc and will actively help you evade police out of principle. A homie, honestly

Fulbright: Not only is he a narc but he definitely runs the DARE program at the local highschool and is printed on half the posters they put up in the precinct. I'm also like 80% sure he doesn't actually know how weed works

[pitchsidestories]

Girlfriend Material II Jen Beattie x Reader

masterlist I word count: 3223

summary: in which Jen Beattie falls in love with a sports journalist who is also a single mother.

A/N: based off this request here. We hope you enjoy this one and we agree with you that Jen Beattie is really underrated. As always this is just fiction.

audio transcript of the interview with Jen Beattie for the bookproject

Jen: sips on her coffee So, how did you..?

Reader: laughs amused do I have to remind you Jen Beattie that I'm the person here asking the questions and it's about the Scottish Women’s national team?

Jen: I thought we weren’t starting yet!

Reader: You said you got your coffee in front of you and that we can start recording that conversation.

Jen: I didn’t know you meant immediately.

Reader: So now you know.

Jen: okay, sorry. I’ll let you talk now.

Reader: Thank you can see jen lifting her finger Yes?

Jen: No, sorry. I forgot I’m not allowed to ask questions.

Reader: Maybe you can ask a few so it feels more like a natural conversation? Maybe that works better for you too.

Jen: Okay, fine with me. How did you get the idea to write this?

Reader: Easy your team’s story is very intriguing and inspiring. I really wanted to cover more than a story, and, in a book, you get the chance to tell multiple of stories.

Jen: I like that. But I always think, we’re just Scotland, you know? There are more interesting teams to write about.

Reader: Yes, I get that but it might sound like a stupid reason, but I grew up in Edinburgh, so Scotland is very dear to my heart, also everyone loves the underdog.

Jen: I like that.

Reader: So, what I’m trying to say with this is you can trust me.

Jen: I do. Why would I not trust you with this topic?

Reader: Good point

Jen: See.

Reader: going back to our topic, when and how did you feel when you were getting your first call up for Scotland?

Jen: chuckles Oh that was a long time ago but as a football player you always dream of that call so as you can imagine I was very excited.

Reader: Do you remember that exact moment?

Jen: Yes, I do. I still played for Glasgow, and I almost missed the call because I started at the phone for too long.

Reader: You did?

Jen: Yes, I’m not sure what would have happened if I missed it.

Reader: I guess they would have tried it again.

Jen: Who knows, right?

Reader: I think it was meant to be.

Jen: It probably was. I’m glad I took the call though. It changed a lot for me.

Reader: This must have been a big step forward in your career.

Jen: It is. I don’t know if Arsenal would have wanted me if it hadn’t been for that call.

Reader: but Arsenal did want you. Lily entering the room Oh sorry this is my daughter Lily.

Jen: She’s adorable. Hi Lily.

Lily: Hello, are you mum’s new friend?

Reader: Actually, I’m interviewing Jen for my book.

Jen: But it’s almost something like that.

Reader: True. Can you give me five more minutes, Lil? And when we’ll go to the park to play football like I promised you earlier.

Lily: Okay.

Reader: Thanks love. Sorry, so where were we Jen?

Jen: Uhm.. oh, Arsenal.

Reader: Yes, right, you got the chance to play there.

Jen: I did. Together with my Scotland teammate.

Reader: So, you must have been very young when you made your move to London?

Jen: I was 18.

Reader: Right.

Jen: Kim was 18 too when she moved to London the year before, so I was glad to have her there too.

Reader: That’s really sweet.

Jen: We both were the youngest and now we’re the grandmas.

Reader: protests You’re not grandmas !

Jen: No but we like to joke about it.

Reader: I can see that.

Jen: With all the youngsters here.

Lily: wears a Scotland jersey Mum, I’m ready !

Reader: Shit, the five minutes are over.

Jen: You probably shouldn’t let her wait.

Reader: Sorry, that’s so unprofessional.

Jen: No worries. I understand that.

Reader: Thank you.

Jen: Have fun.

Lily: Do you want to play with us?

Jen: I would love to, but I have training. Another time, I promise.

Lily: Oh okay.

Jen: Lily?

Lily: Yes?

Jen: I mean it.

Lily: I trust you.

Jen: I’ll see you soon.

Reader: Goodbye, Jen. Thank you for taking your time.

Jen: Thank you for inviting me. And don’t forget to call me, so Lily and I can play some football.

Reader: I’ll call you. Promise.

Lily: whispers Mum, she likes you.

Reader: I think she likes you more.

Lily: But she likes you too!

Reader: Do you think so?

Lily: Yes!

Reader: When it must be true.

Lily: Its true.

The London Derby was about to start. The crowd at the Emirates was roaring with excitement. Amazed, you took in the atmosphere from the side of the pitch alongside some of the other jounalists.

Across the grass, you caught Jen’s gaze who was standing next to the tunnel in a big puffer jacket. She subtly waved at you which you answered with a small smile.

Kim Little appeared next to Jen, telling her something with a stern face. You knew the game was about to start so you turned back to your work.

“Has anyone seen Lily? Jen, you were supposed to look after the daughter of your girlfriend. “, Kim scolded Jen on the other side of the pitch. Reluctantly, Jen turned away from you and towards her teammate; “You said you would babysit.“ “After the match! I’m in the starting line up, remember?“, Kim replied, more amused than annoyed.

Laughing, Jen rolled her eyes; “Ugh, show-off.“ Her smaller team mate gave her playfully offended look; “Hey, you’re still talking to your captain here.“ “Yeh, sure. I’ll go find Lily.“, Jen answered with a grin and brushed past Kim into the dressing rooms. “Good!“, the Arsenal captain called after her.

Jen opened the door of the dressing room where the Arsenal players were just getting ready for the important game against Chelsea; “Lil?“ “Here!“, the voice of a child piped up. The little girl waved with one hand from her place between Alessia Russo and Kyra Cooney-Cross. In the other hand, she held a crumbly granola bar. Jen walked towards her, a big grin on her face; “What are you doing here? Having a snack?“

“Yes, Lessie gave me something. And Wally promised to do my hair.“, Lily nodded with pure joy. Jen ruffled her hair; “Lucky girl.“ “Comes from the one who only ever wears a bun on match days.“, Lia laughed while she pushed past Jen and took Kyras place.

Carefully, she started brushing Lilys hair. “It’s the least complicated and most effective hairstyle.“, the Scot defended herself with a shrug. Kim rolled her eyes; “And it makes you even taller than you are.“

With raised eyebrows, Jen made a point to look down at her captain; “How can you even tell that from down there?“ “Rude.“, she replied before turning towards the toddler whose hair was now in a high ponytail, “Lil?“ “Yes?“ “Tell her to stop making fun of small girls.“

Lily nodded determinedly, causing Lia to start over with braiding her little ponytail; “I’ll.“ “We’re done.“, Lia smiled a minute later, satisfied with her finished work. Lily happily jumped up on the bench, standing on her toes to eye her new hairstyle in a mirror. Laughing, Jen picked her up; “Good. Because these girls have to go out and play and important game now.“

“Good luck!”, Lily hummed. Gratefully Lia patted the shoulder of the little girl:” Thank you, Lily.” “Can you give me a hug as an extra motivation?”, Alessia asked her with a big smirk on her face. Enthusiastically Lily nodded, opening her arms up to hug the tall forward:  “Of course.” That sight alone melted Jen’s heart in the blink of an eye.

In her bossy tone which was such a contrast to her relatively smallness Kim clapped motivated into her hands:” Alright girls, time to get out there.” While the playing footballers went on to the field Jen and the toddler took their seats on the bench.

Big eyed Lily pulled on the defender’s jacket: ”Jen?” “Yes?”, attentively the Scottish player put her little hand into hers. Deeply amazed Lily whispered: “This is huge.”  “I know, right?”, Jen solemnly agreed. Not long into the game Beth Mead scored the first goal which made Lily jump from her seat shouting happily:” Yes, Meado!”

“Good job, Beth! She’ll be so happy about that girl.”, the defender commented with a satisfied smile. A bit less enthusiastic the girl added:” Mum told me she had a bad injury.”  “Yes, she didn’t play football for almost one year.”, the Scottish Woman replied seriously.

Quite taken by that she mumbled: “ That’s forever.” “And her girlfriend Viv had the same injury.”, Jen explained the past situation to her.  Moved by those words Lily observed: “That’s not fair.” “No but it happens in football.”, the defender reminded her.

The mood was lightened when the little girl was catching where the older woman’s eyes were wandering:” Jen, you keep staring at mum!” Caught of guard the Arsenal player’s cheek turned red:” I’m not I was just looking if she’s looking.” “Sure.”, Lily giggled.

After the match she ran to Alessia, telling her visibly very animated:” Lessi, your goals were soo cool!” “Thank you, Lily! You were our lucky charm today.”, the forward declared beaming.

After the live recording ended you greeted Jen with a huge grin, while she was wrapping her strong arms around you::” Hi love, did Lil behave?” “You know her of course she did. She’s too focused on the game in front of her.”, the Scottish woman answered cheerfully.

Glad about that news you changed the topic easily: “Good. Remind me, where are you taking me out tonight, again?” “You’ll see when we’re there.”, Jen smiled mysteriously. Excited about what the evening would contain you said: “I’ll be right back I’ll be just saying goodbye to Lily and tell her that it might get a bit later tonight, so she doesn’t need to try to stay awake until we’re back.” “Alright.”, with that word the Arsenal player let go of you for now.

A few minutes prior Kim wanted to know from the toddler:” Have you decided whose jersey you want, Lily?” “Can I have yours?”, she asked innocently. The captain was surprised by that wish:” Mine?” “Yes, please.”, Lily nodded quickly.

Flustered the older woman gave the little girl her jersey:” Oh, sure. Here you go.” “Thank you.”, the toddler gratefully pressed the shirt onto her.  Trying not to show how touched she was Kim waved it off:” You’re welcome.”

Lily was already wearing the oversized jersey when you entered the dressing room. Your daughter happily ran into your arms. You wrapped her into a tight hug while you told her; “Hi Lily, I just wanted to say goodbye for now and that Jen and I’ll be back tonight. But I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun with Kimmy.“

You shared a quick smile with Arsenals team captain. “Okay, have fun, Mum.“, Lily replied, obviously already distracted by what was happening around her in the dressing room. You pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before saying goodbye; “Love you, Lily.“ You could feel your daughters eyes on you while you caught up Jen outside.

Kim realized that Lily was confused by the situation so she kneeled down in front of the toddler; “Tell me, Lily, what do you want to eat now?“ “Can we eat pizza?“, the little girl asked with big eyes.

While Kim nodded, Leah Williamson joined the conversation; “Can we join the pizza party?“ “Please?“, Laura Wienroither added, her facial expression almost identical to Lilys. Kim nodded with a sigh before turning back the toddler; “Sure. How about we make our own pizzas, Lily?“ “Yes!“ “Alright, let’s go.“, the captain decided and got up to grab her bag. She took Lilys hand in hers while Leah and Laura followed them.

At Kims home, they immediately got to work, making small individual pizzas. “I’m jealous. Yours and Kims pizza looks so good.“, Leah complained, eyeing the ham and mozzarella pizza that Kim just took out of the oven. “It’s because Lily and I are a good team.“, she replied, holding up her hand for Lily to high-five. “True.“, the little girl agreed.

Laura laughed; “Not bad, Little team.“ “Thanks.“, Kim said, only partly annoyed by the pun. Excitedly, Leah took her pizza out of the oven next; “Time to eat our pizzas.“ But there was a loud bang that told everyone in the room that Leahs pizza did not even make it to the table. “Oh no.“ “Leah!“, Lily yelled, amused by the mess the tomato sauce and hot cheese made on the tile floor. “Yeah, I know, very funny.“, the defender sighed.

Kim immediately turned back to the kitchen table; “It’s okay, we can make a new one.“ “Lee, you can have a bit of mine.“, Lily offered, gently pushing a piece of pizza towards the defender. Gratefully, Leah picked it up and took a bite; “Thank you, Lily, you’re very sweet.“ “You don’t need to tell her that, she knows.“, Kim grinned while making more pizza. “Still. She shared her pizza with me!“

Finally, the captain admitted; “Yes, okay, it’s cute.“ “See, that’s adorable.“, Leah said. Laura disrupted their conversation, pointing towards the toddler; “Oh my god, girls. She fell asleep with her head next to her plate.“

A soft smile appeared on Kims lips as she watched the child sleep, a piece of pizza still in her tiny hand; “I think it was a long day for her. Winning against Chelsea is exhausting.“ “Very true.“, Leah agreed with a laugh. Carefully, Kim picked the girl up; “I’ll bring her to bed.“ “Good night, Lil.“, Laura whispered. Lily blinked tiredly and yawned against Kims shoulder; “Nighty.“

Meanwhile, you looked at your surroundings being in awe of the restaurant your girlfriend chose:” Jen, this is so fancy here.” “I told you; I’d take you somewhere nice.”, the Arsenal player replied with a warm smile.  Proudly she kept holding your hand until you reached your table and took a seat each. “Yes, you weren’t lying about you.”, you had to admit delighted.

In an honest tone she stated: “As much as I love Lily, you also deserve to be treated to something nice.” “She loves you too, in her kindergarten she refers to you as her mum.”, you confessed, cheeks flushing. Surprised but flattered Jen asked:” She does?” “Yes.”, you nodded cautiously, unsure if this information was too much for your girlfriend.  

The defender let out a shaky breath: “Wow.” “Sorry, if that was too much.”, you stammered an apology. Immediately she reassured you:” No, I like that.” “Anything you would recommend from the menu?”, you tried to lighten up the mood, but the football player was taking your hand meaning you to pause for a second.

Softly the Scottish woman said:” Love..”  “Yes?”, you looked up to her, your free hand was nervously putting a loose string of your hair behind your ear. A deep sigh escaped Jen’s lips, before she confessed: “I want to be honest with you. I never wanted to be a mum; it just wasn’t one of my life goals like it is for other women. But I’d love nothing more than being Lily’s mum.”  

“You’re already a great one.”, you confirmed visibly moved by her words. Equally touched Jen answered: “Thanks. That means a lot.” Because words couldn’t encompass how much her confession meant to you, you kissed her, hoping the kiss could encompass everything you felt in that moment. “I love you.”, the Arsenal player whispered. “I love you too.”  Her voice was filled with gratitude:” I’m so glad you were writing that book.” “It’s coming out soon.”, you announced happily.

Hopefully Jen wanted to know: “Can I read it first?” “Of course, I’ll leave you a copy on your nightstand.”, you promised her excited. A bright grin was on your girlfriend’s face: “Thank you. I can’t wait to read it.”  “I hope you and the team will like it.”, you bit your lip.  “I’m sure we will.” From that on you two had a very pleasant date night.

After the dinner you gratefully greeted Kim in her home:” Hi Kim, thanks for watching after Lily.”  “You’re welcome. She was really tired and already fell asleep at dinner.”, the Arsenal Captain told you. Understandingly you nodded:” To be fair it was a long, exciting day for her.” “That’s true. I hope you had a good date night.”, Kim smiled at you both. Beaming Jen replied:“ We did.” “That’s good.”, the midfielder seemed pleased by the happy faces in front of her.

“Mums?“, Lilys voice interrupted your small talk. The little girl stumbled into your direction, her eyes were barely open. “Yes?“, Jen answered. “You’re back.“, your daughter yawned. You crouched down, your arms outstretched and Lily let herself against your chest. “We are.“, you confirmed as you carefully picked her up. Jen reached over, ruffling the little girls hair; “Yes, and we’re going home now.“ “Okay.“, Lily mumbled, almost asleep again. Jen chuckled quietly; “She is so cute.“

You said your goodbyes to Kim and made your way back home. You placed the sleeping Lily in her bed, carefully tucking her in and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead; “Good night, Lil.“ “I think she had fun today.“, Jen commented from where she leaned on the door frame. You grinned; “Yes, they had pizzas together.“

“Oh, Kim just texted.“, Jen said in surprise. You watched her read something on her phone; “What did she write?“ “That she hopes we got Lily home without waking her up.“, your girlfriend summarized the message quickly. You shrugged; “Kind of. She’s asleep now.“

With a smile on your lips, you took Jens phone out of her hand to snap a photo of your daughter, fast asleep with her favourite plushie in her arm. Grinning, Jen followed up her message to Kim with the photo while you both left Lilys room. “She and the girls seem to like being aunties.“, Jen thought out loud. You nodded happily; “They do. Even though Kim always pretends to be annoyed when you ask her to babysit.“ “Yes, but she secretly loves it.“, Jen replied with a laugh. “Oh yes.“, you agreed while you both slipped into your bed.

Only as your head hit your pillow, you realized how tired you were. Yawning, Jen slipped an arm around your waist and gently kissed your neck once. Just before you two were about to fall asleep, Jens phone screen lit up again.

As she held up the phone and blinked against the brightness of the screen, you caught a glimpse of the message. It was from Kim, reading; “Haven’t seen you that happy in a long time. You deserve this, Jen.“ You could feel a smile spread on your face, similar to the one on your girlfriends and you couldn’t deny that you felt a little bit honoured by that message.

Jen put her phone back on the nightstand and pulled you closer to her. You both didn’t need any words to express how right it felt to be there in each others arms.

[someverygaymoth]

NIGHTMARE WITH OSDD

I love your headcanon and I'm going to take it and it into a 5-star meal🙏

May I have more please🙏😔 /nf

I love NM with OSDD!!! Yay!!! Free ramble pass!!!!

There are so many good options for this. I'm gonna go with fuzzy system of 5, where Nightmare(the corruption) is their host, Night(little guy before the apple whoopsidoodle), Moon(the hurt, scared, grown up version of Night), Dream(little guy before the apple whoopsie doodle), and Sun(a grown up Dream. The kind of brother he wanted and needed, but never quite got.) Lots of fuzzy cofronting, lots of gray amnesia and emotional amnesia with occasional blackouts.

Silly BSP hyjinks ideas:

Nightmare worrying, trying to find one of his boys because he doesn't remember that he sent them out on a mission that morning. (Killer finds him and reminds him that Dust and Horror are out on a mission, and not to worry about them)

Horror finding out they're plural and learning that alters have different tastes??? He would be so excited to figure out everyone's favorite food!!!

Cross learns NM is plural and immediately does all the research possible so he knows he isn't accidentally being offensive, and also so he can be more helpful. (He has to be the helpfulest all the time! That's what he's good for!)(he is so mentally ill)

Killer does the research in secret and then purposefully says ignorant shit so Cross gets scandalized and NM gets to watch them argue and have a little snack on Crossy's indignance and terror. NM knows he's being annoying on purpose because he starts doing really considerate shit without being outward about it. (Bringing back a bunch of sticky notes in different shapes and colors from his missions, casually asking him how to be more helpful, wrapping him in a blanket and laying on him when he's dissociating into high hell so he's nice and grounded, or just cuddling with him while he's having a long, slow switch. Bringing him water and headache medicine once it's leveled out, catching up whoever is in front now, making sure they know they're safe...)

Dust is obscenely good at telling who's fronting. He noticed way before Nightmare told any of them. "[Shrug] Shit didn't add up," is all he says about that. Nightmare has no idea what that means, but at least Dust can tell him he's doing the hand wringing thing that Night always does when he's fronting, so he can tell who's cofronting and giving him a massive migrane. He's just very watchful.

Evil ideas:

Moon is so frightened and overwhelmingly broken, for a long time. Nightmare can tell he's near front when he starts to feel tearful and hurt seemingly without reason.

Sun lashing out at one of the boys because he feels like they're being threatened (the boys are trying to be nice to him)

Sun feels helpless in the body because he has near no control over their tentacles. He can't protect them and that's very scary for him. He doesn't like feeling out of control.

Night had a phase where he would write in books, Nightmare hated this.

Sun has a habit of trying to convince the boys to leave them because he doesn't want anyone close to them. He feels like he has something to make up for, with all that Moon went through. He feels so much pressure to be better than Dream ever was to them.

More silly to cleanse the owie:

Nightmare's system is relatively functional and stable once Sun gets off his "hurt them before they hurt us!!" Horse.

Sun has a silly lil crush on Killer that he will vehemently deny if asked about.

They're silly and I love them.

[thegnomelord]

Congratulations again 🎊🎊🎊 Fully deserved <3

4 with Soap and Graves because I am a messy bitch who lives for drama!

Thanks! Finally finished with my exam so I can finally write aaand i overwrote again :Dd. Play the game HERE.

CW: SFW-ish, kissing, bruises, true GN reader, undertones of puppy play but nothing explicit. Graves and Soap being jealous hoes.

Graves nearly chips a tooth with how he clenches his jaw while he watches you and Johnny make out across the bar. The way Soap keeps your attention, the way he confidently grips your hips as he steals your ability to think and breathe never fails to make Grave's blood boil. It takes everything in him not to go to you when Soap slinks away, leaving you breathless and starstruck by the way he sways his hips.

"Yea look like yea want to devour 'em." Johnny mocks Graves like he's just won Olympic gold, saddling next to him. "Yea know you're out of league when yea height starts with a 5?" He throws a bulky arm over Grave's shoulders, bringing his face so close their noses almost touch. Phill can smell booze and you on Soap's breath.

"I'm not the one slobbering all over them like some mutt." Graves bites back and pushes Soap's arm off him. "Compensating for something there, lucky charms?"

Johnny's so drunk off you he doesn't rise to the provocation, "Oh, a dog ahm I?" He sticks his tongue out like he's ready to lick Phill's face to annoy him. "Want this Scottish mutt to bite yea then? Show yea who's the top dog 'round 'ere?"

Graves grabs him by the scruff, though he can't get the right grip to make Soap melt like you can, only earning a feral grin. "Do that, you're sleepin' in the crate doggy." Graves warns and it's impossible to tell if he wants to fight Soap or kiss him. Hell, Graves has half a mind to get Soap in trouble so he can have your attention squarely on him for a lil' while.

The sound of your laughter gains their attention, their heads swiveling just in time to see some man chatting you up. You laugh along to some joke, not noticing when the stranger places a hand on your back that wanders too close to your ass for both of their comforts. They share a look like they're prepared to go to war; Graves gives a little head motion towards you.

You yelp when their bodies settle next to yours only to relax when their colognes register in your brain, but you don't notice how they push back the guy you'd been talking to with their shared bulk. "Oh, hey guys." You're a little confused when Johnny wraps a hand around your hip, Grave's hand slinking into the back pocket of your pants. "What are you-"

Johnny cuts you off with a sharp tug on your hip. "We'll borrow this for a bit."

Your questions fall on deaf ears as they corral you into a hallway, hands on your shoulders and hips until your back's flush with the wall. "What's gotten into you two?" You manage to ask, an undignified sound leaving your lips as their bodies pin you further to the wall, someone's knee digging into your groin.

"Shush Bonnie." Soap purrs and seals his burning lips over yours, immediately pushing his tongue inside your mouth like he's trying to steal your breath. You grasp his front instinctively, jumping when you feel teeth scrape against your throat; Graves isn't idle, tucking his body into your side so his head is in the perfect height to bite down on your neck, teeth worrying bruises into his side of your neck until there's a dark backdrop of hickeys to make the indents of his teeth more obvious.

Graves grips your hair and pulls your mouth off Soap's, not even acknowledging the Scott's quiet 'hey!'. "Just makin' a statement, darlin'." Phill bites your bottom lip as Soap buries his face into the other side of your neck, the taste of whiskey on Grave's tongue distracting you from the sharp pain of Johnny biting you.

Your thoughts melt away after just a few kisses, barely able to breathe as they make a competition out of pulling needy sounds out of your throat, one always kissing you while the other sucks hickeys into your skin. Graves chuckles as he tugs your the collar of your shirt down enough to dig his teeth into your shoulder, Soap quick to follow after him.

You don't notice when the man you'd been talking comes looking for you, but Johnny does. He gives a smug smirk and tugs on your hair to raise your head. Your unfocused eyes and disheveled appearance is only secondary to the way the lights overhead darken the canvass of bitemarks and bruises they've made across your skin, making you look like you've been mauled by hyenas.

The soft little sound you make when Graves purposely sucks on a bruise has the man scampering away with an obvious tent in his pants, and your men are sure to reward you with wet kisses for unknowingly proving who you belong to...

[glimmerlofsea]

Dacre Montgomery x Reader

WRONG POISON

Warning : drunk!reader, backstreet relationship :(, a lil bit angst... Cursing words, dacre being an asshole (maybe¿) I'll let you guys judge him

WC; 2,2k

#TALKISSA; like in the warning that you have a backstreet relationship, then you get drunk and take it all out on Dacre. I also suggest listening to the song "Let you break my heart Again" by Laufey! But I promise you a happy ending, don't worry! :D

It started with Dacre, who had a busy shooting schedule because of his ongoing project. But he can't spare any time for you.

You were at your house, waiting for him who said would visit you at 9 pm, but it was already 11 pm. You have prepared his favorite snacks, including chocolate which makes you always remember him. His no-show's got you feeling bummed, but what else is different? It was always like this and ended like this.

Every time this happens, you always go to the bar near your house—which could be said to be the bar you've always been a regular at.

Your friend is there, his name is George, he is a bartender who is definitely not a jerk like other bartenders who keep trying to harass you.

You came in your brown coat and wore black cuffs and black culottes, tied your hair in a messy bun,

When you got there you immediately took your seat, George had shown a friendly welcome when you arrived, you two did a little 'special high five' that only the two of you could do. You and George weren't that close but when it came to the bar you really were like old pal.

"As usual?" George asked as he wiped the glass with the rag he was holding.

You smiled weakly and nodded, "Always. Or give me your best shot."

"Got it, ma'am."

Going to the bar for you is not to have fun but to free your thoughts that are clumped on one side, which makes your head more dizzy than usual. And George's concoction of alcohol? Fantastic. You enjoyed every sip you took of the beer George gave you.

You're strong against alcohol, except right now you're feeling really dizzy and can't see properly.

Your cell phone rings, you see an incoming message from an unknown number,

It was from Robert, Dacre's envoy who he sent to watch over you while Dacre couldn't be by your side.

You chuckled when you saw his message which read,

"Mr. Montgomery doesn't like you being alone at the bar, and stop talking to the bartender."

You turned off your phone and put it in your bag, “He knows what.” You babbled then raised your hand to signal George to give you another toast.

But you never got that toast again since someone grabbed you, luckily you managed to pull your bag. The person was wearing a black hoodie, as if hiding his face from everyone.

You continued to smile and rolled your eyes, he took you to the side of the bar.

With him taking off his hoodie you already know who it is,

"Finally, you showed yourself?" You asked with a dazed smile, you hit your forehead so you could see clearly, because now your body is really swaying here and there if Dacre doesn't hold your hand.

Dacre didn't show any expression, he looked mad and you didn't care, he had to stop being selfish and had to know your feelings too, "You have to stop doing this."

You chuckled, "Doing this? What? Getting drunk without my precious little boyfriend?"

"Y/N." He warned, "You're drunk."

"Why? I can't get drunk? Bloody hell, once I'm drunk, I'm alone, always alone. Meanwhile, you? You're having fun laughing with your co-star, precisely girls who's in your arms."

You let go of his hand from yours, threw it away, and tried to hold back your tears as best as possible, "Can't you just think about my feelings for once?" You took a deep breath, "I'm tired. I'm tired Dacre, of this relationship. I feel like we don't even in a relationship."

Dacre took a deep breath, "I told you starting this was a consequence, right?"

You laughed in disbelief, "So you only see our relationship as a consequence? Are you fucking serious?"

"You agreed to hide this relationship, Y/N. You can't just get angry with me,"

"So you blame me?"

Dacre closed his eyes for a moment and sighed, "That's not—"

You raised your hand to stop him, "No, listen. Use your damn ears and listen up, or maybe, just maybe, try using that neglected heart of yours for once."

Dacre was silent, he had never heard you speak in a rude way like this.

"I love you, Dacre, you are the best thing," You took a breath, emphasizing the sentence you once again, "The best thing that ever happened in my life. When my world fell apart, when no one stayed in my life, not even my mother, father, and my family, but you. That's the reason I love you."

You still haven't let him speak again, "But now I realize, I was only focused on the reason I loved you and wanted to live with you. Do you even love me, Dacre? I don't remember the last time we said those words together. I can't remember when you were actually beside me, instead of sending that fucking Robert, you think sending someone will show that you love me?"

"No. That's a fucking no."

Without you realizing it, your face is already wet from your tears, this only makes you even more dizzy and you look at yourself in shadows.

"I don't want to talk to you."

Is this the end? The reason Dacre only kept silent is because he is trying to digest all the words that you are slowly spitting out, is that what you have been feeling all this time?

"Why didn't you tell me?" Dacre asked trying to hold you back but you threw his hand away,

"Like you even care enough to listen." Your reply showed a resigned smile.

You walked away from him but you couldn't help it, your head was really blowing up right now and your body was swaying, luckily Dacre was holding you, you groaned in pain,

“Did you drink vodka?” Dacre asked.

"I don't know, I drank whatever I could drink." You replied irritably while holding your forehead.

Vodka is one of the alcohols that you are allergic to, oh, how you hate it, you passed out there after letting out your smack? Unbelieveable.

You opened your eyes, groaning because you still felt the imprint pressing on your head, but you felt better,

You looked to your right where there was a framed photo of you and Dacre, you choked to yourself, "I don't even recall the last time we bothered coming here."

You and Dacre have an apartment which will later be a place where you spend time together, but unfortunately the apartment has not been lived in for a long time because of Dacre's schedule.

You looked at your clothes which had been changed into pajamas, it was clear that it was Dacre who brought you here,

You got out of bed and walked out of the room, smelling the smell of food coming from the kitchen. As much as you'd like to imagine that with that food you're still mad at him, I mean— super pissed.

You walked over to Dacre who was still busy cooking, "You up?" He asked to which you responded with a hum.

"Let's have breakfast first." he said.

Breakfast passed in silence, you weren't in the mood to talk, and you didn't want to talk to him anyway.

"Can we talk after breakfast?"

Ah, forget it, you really want to maintain this relationship, since the only one you have is the only one who chose to stay when your family just left you. It's him.

You tried to show your calm, you nodded and hummed again.

Not long after you finished eating, Dacre invited you to talk in the living room. He turned the TV volume down when he wanted to talk to you.

Seeing Dacre who still hasn't said a word makes you think of wild thoughts, "Do... Do you want to break up?" You asked breaking the silence.

Hearing that Dacre immediately looked at you and frowned in a surprised expression, "What? No! No, I don't want that."

You nod gracefully,

"Wait... Do you?" Dacre asked again after realizing your question, you looked at him and groaned, "Can't you just start talking?"

"Right, sorry."

Dacre moved closer to you, while you didn't move an inch, "Y/N, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a selfish asshole who made those evil thoughts trick you, I'm sorry because all this time you kept your feelings alone because I didn't have time to talk. I'm wasting your affection. I'm aware of that, but I won't just let you go. I can't. I love you."

Your eyes met, Dacre had only been able to stare at his feet, but when he said those three precious words he dared to look at you, "So much. So fucking much. And, yes, I realize that sending Robert was the dumbest way I ever did. I ... Just felt— Fuck, I don't even know what I feel."

"You choose your world of acting or me?"

"What?" Dacre asked, his eyes widening,

You shook your head, you averted your gaze, "No, I'm kidding, I know how much you love that world, I know very well but Dacre, it's just... Too far. Our worlds are different. Where I'm the one who wants affection and a family, you want something different, I just feel like I'm holding you back."

"Are you saying it's over between us?" His question made you look at him, tears already forming in his eyes, as if he was trying to hold them back.

You chuckled in annoyance, you cupped his cheek with your hand and stroked it softly, "Don't cry."

"Yeah, but I already made you shed tears because of me, didn't I?"

You were silent at his question— Or more precisely, a statement that is truly the truth. Dacre holds your hand to keep it on his cheek,

"I love you, Y/N. Can you give me one more chance?"

You tried, tried to pull your hand back but he held it, "For what? For breaking my heart again?"

Finally he let go of your hand, so that your hand landed on your thigh again, "Dacre. I'm not saying that if we continue this relationship it won't work, I know it will work but it will take more effort than we have been doing so far. And if I'm being honest, I can't just let you go, I just can't."

Dacre grabbed your hand, “Please give me one more chance.”

His gaze is sparkling, your feelings are really confused about whether to give him another chance or not...

"Okay." He smiled widely, but you stopped him, "But—"

"What?"

You sighed, "Don't let me feel like I chose the wrong poison again?"

Dacre smiled and kissed your lips briefly, "You have the best poison in this world."

You chuckled and rolled your eyes,

"And I canceled my second project." Dacre said which made you clench your jaw, "What? Why? Dacre, don't let my words affect your career and desires, I know you really want that project."

"That project's gonna breeze through, here today, gone tomorrow. But you, you're the real deal, stickin' by my side, not just some fly-by-night thing."

You stifled your laugh, “Such a poetic guy.”

Dacre smiled, "Your beauty's like them dope poetry quotes, straight fire and unforgettable."

"Yeah?"

Dacre nodded.

You smiled, you kissed his cheek, "I'm sorry if what I said yesterday was too rude."

"Not as rude as I have treated you all this time."

As a small laugh escapes you, it draws him closer, prompting an impassioned kiss that speaks volumes of profound yearning. Without hesitation, you meet his fervor with your own.

"You're my ride or die, darling." Dacre said in between kisses, he was literally on top of you while you two were on the couch, you broke the kiss and smiled at him, "Oh yeah?"

Dacre nodded. You chuckled and pecked his nose, “You should meet George.”

Dacre rolled his eyes and threw himself into your arms, "No, I'm not interested in meeting that guy."

"Well, now you have to! He's just as much of a chocolate maniac as you, mixing alcohol with any chocolate that comes to his mind."

Your words made Dacre raise his head, he who had been on your chest was now looking at you, you put your hands on his back, "So wild."

You laughed, "Come on! You should try his concoction. He's a good pal."

Dacre dropped his head on your chest again, "If he's a good pal he knows you're allergic to Vodka."

You rolled your eyes, "We didn't get close enough to talk about each other's allergies."

"Whatever." Dacre replied.

You played with Dacre's hair, you remembered the night you asked Dacre to wear a Billy Hargrove wig so you could braid his hair, and he immediately fulfilled your request. In your relationship, there might be numerous shortcomings, especially considering the stark differences in your worlds, but these challenges cannot overshadow the deep compassion and love you share for each other.

"I promise I'll show you off to my close friends someday." He said in your arms.

"Introduce me to Joe." You replied to teasing him, he immediately raised his head again, he raised both eyebrows, "You've got this," He pointed his finger at himself, "And still aiming for that amazing hair?"

You chuckled at the nickname Dacre had come up with for Joe, "I love you."

"I love you deeper." Dacre said then kissed you one last time before he fell again in your arms.

Don't know how much you said those three words, but you really missed each other, and Dacre really enjoyed the day off from his pile of projects—even more so spending it with the love of his life.

Author Note : I really want to put a sad ending— but I can't!!! I really can't because my fantasies only end in happy endings and I hate myself for not wanting to try sad endings... What do you think? Should I try it?

[afroafrofuturistfuture]

Switch Pt 10

An: I wish y'all knew what I was going through for this 😭 but it's finally here before the end of the year. The end of my very first fanfic. Whew! It was an undertaking for sure. Crazy that it's actually finished. I'm grateful for anyone who found it, reblogged it and read it all. Much much love and a happy new year to you all!

Genre: Romance, fluff, smut, angst

Cw: 18+ only (mdni), sexual activity, cuss words, talks of cheating, p in v, hospital imagery, lil bit of sadness, barely proofread

Synopsis: Aged up Married Pro hero!Deku, Bakugo and Uraraka.

The truth comes out

Masterlist is here!

“Do you know why he seems so weird?” Ochacho asked Deku once Katsuki disappeared into Kami’s hospital room.

“Yes,” Deku said carefully. He took her hands in his and pulled her to sit in the same chair Katsuki was sitting in not too long ago. He looked at her for a long moment trying to decide what he should say and he realized how long it had been since he just looked at her like this. Really looked at her. She looked sweet, she was sweet. But she was so full of life, full of fire. There was always something brimming beneath her kind demeanor. A fierceness he couldn’t quite match or tame. He chuckled realizing how obvious this all should have been.

“Deku?”

“I had an affair with Kami.” He blurted, his voice as hushed as it could be in the busy hospital corridor. He could feel the tension in her hands. “And I know you had one with Kacchan.” Her face fell and he could just hear all the apologies that were about to come his way. “I’m not angry,” and of course that was the truth. He was never angry, could never be angry with her. “A bit hurt but I know why you did it. I can’t say it’s right but neither of us made the right decision. Katsuki didn’t give me details but I know you had an opportunity for something more than I could give you and you took it. I get it. Sometimes I’m more hero than man and I wish I could’ve been what you needed but I know it’s okay that I’m not.”

Ochaco looked stunned and sad. She looked away, bit her lip. The guilt was obvious. After a few moments, she finally spoke. “I have no excuse for what I did. I love you, of course, I do. But being with him is so different. He got me to think about what I wanted and that was so satisfying. And then at times he was so sweet with me…” She buried her face in her hands. “Shit.”

He let out a chuckle. “He really did a number on you, huh?” When she didn’t answer he went on. “I felt the same way. I was actually so selfish. I really only thought about what I wanted when I took the chance to have it. In fact, Kami had to stop me from taking it way too far! But that didn’t really matter in the end.” He sighed, considering how honest to be. But he wanted no more secrets. “I’m in love with her.”

Ochaco immediately raised her head. “In love with Kami?” He couldn’t tell what she could be thinking as her teeth worried over her lip. “Does she…feel the same?” She finally asked.

He slumped down further into his chair thinking about it. At one point, he thought she did. But she never said it. And he started to think maybe it was all in his head. “I don’t know. We’ve never talked about it. It wasn’t really possible to pursue, you know?” He realized he was being so cavalier about all of this and felt the need to clarify. “Bubble, I hope you don’t think I ever lied to you about us.”

She met his eyes, hers full of surprise and sadness. “No, Deku. I know.” He watched her eyes well up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t handle this well. We were working on things and I really fucked it up anyway. I went behind your back and that wasn’t fair. I’ve been hating myself this whole time because I didn’t want you to hate me. I didn’t want to think about the impact of it all and, seriously, you falling in love is nothing I ever expected but I can’t say I’m not glad for it. For you. I always wanted you to be happy even when I was fucking up, even if it wasn’t with me. I sound like a terrible person.”

His smile was sardonic. “I won’t say you cheating on me didn’t hurt. But I think you were so distant and I was so caught up with myself that it was easy to give myself to someone else. That part I don’t regret. Even if she may not feel the same, I can see what I need too.” He ran his hands over his face. His fatigue was catching up to him.

“I think I know what you mean.” He shifted to watch her speak. “Katsuki is…abrasive like always but he’s a lot more than I thought. He challenges me and makes me feel…free somehow. And he does care but he’s not overbearing about it. You and I make sense as a couple because we’re so alike but with him he’s so different that it’s exciting.” She looked dreamy as she spoke but quickly flinched realizing what she was saying. “Sorry. I don’t know how much of this you wanted to hear.”

“No, it’s good. I’ve only ever wanted you happy and a lot of the time I doubted that I could be the one to do that for you. I suppose I was right." A sad smile settled over his lips. "But to know someone can do it gives me a sense of relief."

"I feel the same way, Izuku. If Kami loves you, which there's no way she doesn't, then…that's amazing.”

She gave him a sad smile and he started to chuckle in disbelief at their situation. Both of them cheated on each other and fell for the other person. Or at least he thought so, but to be sure... “Are you in love with him?”

She blinked and sniffled as her cheeks darkened. “Um…I don’t know. I mean our last time seeing each other was so confusing. He made me feel so amazing and so low at the same time. I think I do have feelings for him though.” She wouldn’t meet Deku’s eyes.

He chuckled. “I think he has feelings for you too. It might take time for him to admit it but he’ll get there.”

She sat there in silence for a bit, color covering her face, before she asked, “Do you think we’ll all be okay?”

He thought about it. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. If nothing else, we have each other. Always.”

That was incredibly optimistic, something she didn’t know she could share but she expected nothing less from him. And in a way it was comforting. But now that her body was beginning to relax, she could feel her exhaustion. She found herself craving her bed, although for how long it would remain her bed she had no idea. “I think I’m going to go home.” She mumbled.

Deku nodded. “I think I’ll stay.”

They gave each other tired smiles. She stood and he stood with her. They hugged because it felt right.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

“Deku,” Kami tried to coax him awake. His head had been resting on the rail on her bed and she knew he’d get a crick in his neck. “Deku, wake up.” She nudged him gently. He groaned in response and she laughed. “I know you’re not comfortable. Come on, wake up.” She nudged more forcefully this time.

He pulled himself up, finally rubbing his eyes before he opened them. “Okay, I’m up.” The hospital room was darker now with moonlight and the displays from various machines providing the only light. She smiled sleepily at him as his eyes settled on her. “Hi, baby,” he smiled back.

Her heart thrilled hearing him call her that. It meant he still thought of her the way he used to.

“I can’t believe you stayed. I can’t believe they let you.” She spoke almost in a whisper as if speaking any louder would disturb the lovely dream they were in.

“Of course I did. I think they know who I am. Did you not want me to?”

She hated that he asked. “No, I’m happy you stayed.”

“Then I’m happy you’re happy.” He rested his head back on the railing except now he was fully awake giving her his full attention.

“How are you feeling?”

He chuckled. “I think I’m supposed to be asking you that. But I’m okay for now. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, too. Sad though.”

“Why are you sad?”

“You’re leaving,” She muttered. She ran a finger over his arm lightly.

He sat up a little straighter as he sighed. He caught her hand in his and stroked the back of her hand with this thumb. “I keep telling myself it’s for the best.”

“Is it really though? I mean my husband is in love with your wife and I-” She stopped short and his eyes shot to hers, wide and piercing even in the dark. She realized she hadn’t had a chance to tell him how she felt about him but he had to know. She sat up a bit more herself and Deku watched her adjust, just waiting. “‘Zuku,” She kissed the back of his hand. “I-I’m so in love with you. It scares me but it’s true. I don’t want to be afraid of it because you don’t seem like you are but you’re also leaving and-”

He pulled her into a searing kiss that wiped her mind clean. It felt like it had been years since they last kissed and her emotions came bubbling to the surface. Tears ran down between their faces and he only held her closer. When he finally pulled back enough to look into her eyes, she could see that he was steady and certain. “Baby, of course I’m afraid,” he chuckled and it was light with relief. “I’m fucking terrified. Especially because I thought I was ruining everyone’s lives.”

“Well now you’re just ruining mine,” She pouted and sniffled. She meant it jokingly but she also meant it to a degree.

He gave her a sad smile as the thumb from the hand still resting on her cheek stroked over her skin.”I’m ruining mine too. Unless you want to come with me.” He said it lightly, like a joke, like it was wishful thinking.

“Take me.” She said, with no hesitation.

His brows pushed together and his mouth twisted as if to say be serious. “Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not. Okay maybe I am but I mean it. Take me with you.”

“Kami,” he sat back away from her and that left her feeling chilly. “You can’t leave everything for me.”

Her face crumpled but she laughed as she spoke around more tears. “You pretty much are everything to me.” He shook his head slowly in disbelief but she could see the hope he tried to hold back. Understanding that completely, she pushed on. “What’s here for me? Watching Katsuki and Ochaco get some kind of happily ever after while I pine away for you? My job isn’t even all that important. Not like you big heroes. I love my friends but I know I’d miss you more than anything.” As she said it, she realized how true it was. Her life wasn’t bad. It was stable and easy. But what would it be without him?

He reached for her again, his hands sliding over her cheeks as he rested his forehead against hers. He shook his head again slowly. “How do you know I’m worth all of that? I can’t be,” he lamented.

She laughed. “Deku, I know I was scared of the risk. I was scared of getting found out and losing everything so I left you instead.” She reached up to touch his face too. “And I’ve regretted it every day since. I don’t think I care anymore, especially after this, after waking up here and having you be the first thing on my mind even before I opened my eyes. It was stupid not to just be honest with you.”

“No, no. I know why you weren’t. To be honest, I thought it was stupid for me to nearly slip up and tell you. It was all too impulsive. No plan for anything after that. I just knew I loved you and I wanted you.”

“I wish I had let you tell me.” Kami whispered. “I wish I could have heard it back then.”

“You looked okay without me before,” he whispered back. “I thought…I thought we were really done.”

She chuckled. “I couldn’t just walk around looking miserable. That would’ve caused more questions.”

He stared at her for a moment. “You’d really come with me?” His voice was still hushed and tense.

“If you let me. Would you?”

His eyes welled as he started to sob softly. “Of course I would. I’d love to take you anywhere with me.” He hugged her as tight as he could to him while she was still hooked up in her hospital bed and she held on tightly to him. Relief flooded into her at his words. And when he clutched her in a hard kiss, she knew no matter what, she would follow him anywhere.

“Surprise!” Deku uncovered her eyes after they stepped into the living room of Kami’s house.

“Deku,” she laughed. “What is this?”

There was a banner hanging up over the kitchen entrance, welcoming her home. On the floor, Deku piled thick blankets in front of the coffee table that was covered with different snacks. On the couch, he laid out pajamas for them both. He shrugged. “You’re ‘welcome home’ picnic. I know the doctor said to take it easy. Do you like it or is it dumb?”

“Deku,” She planted her hands on his chest as she lifted up on her toes to kiss him. “I love it. Really. I can’t wait to relax and watch movies with you.”

His hands came up to her waist as he relaxed and kissed her back. “Okay, baby. Let’s get changed and we can get right to it.” He guided her to the couch and she smiled to herself at the matching green pajamas he picked out for them.

“I’m realizing how corny I am now that you’re here,” he laughed nervously and blushed a bit.

“I wouldn’t have you any other way. I love them. But I may need your help.” Kami’s head and body were still a bit tender after the accident and from lying in a bed for days.

“Sure, of course.” He gingerly tugged her shirt over her head and it made her heart swell in appreciation for his sweetness. After he pulled her shirt away, she couldn’t help but kiss him before he reached for her pants. He smiled at her and she kissed him again, soaking in the warmth from his body and personality. There was nothing but love for her from him and now that she had it again, she refused to let it go. She meant it to be a cute kiss, sweet but her breathing quickened as her body reacted to him pulling her close. Their kisses were languid and naturally, her mouth opened to him. Like muscle memory their tongues met and she could hear his low moan.

“God, I missed you,” he muttered, his voice tight. “But I know we can’t…do anything. I gotta calm down,” he chuckled.

He tried to put distance between them but she held tight to his arms. “I think if we just…take it easy…” Kami tried to reason through her now hazy mind.

He laughed. “Such a bad influence. But I can’t say I don’t want it like you do.” His hand slid slowly down her body and dipped beneath the waistband of her pants. He found his way into her underwear and gently brushed over the top of her clit. Her body tensed. She was more sensitive than she thought she’d be, which seemed perfect for taking it easy. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” She nodded and bit her lip. “I don’t know about you but I haven’t had sex since the last time we did,” he mumbled.

“Really?” She was gasping at the light strokes.

“Really, so this should be interesting.” He chuckled. “Would you be okay with being on top? You could be in control and just move your hips back and forth.”

“Sounds…perfect.”

He removed his pants and hers before sitting on the floor in front of the couch and leaning back against it. He pulled her into his lap and she slid her covered slit over his already hard cock. They both moaned. He rested his hands on her hips and gently guided her over him. She laced her fingers behind his neck and kissed him, meeting his tongue with hers.

He sucked in a sharp breath. “You know I’m not usually rough with you unless you want it but I’m just so happy to have you back in my arms, it’s not hard not to think of going crazy with you.”

She laughed. “I know what you mean. If I wasn’t so achy, I would be bouncing on you as hard as I can.”

His eyes darkened hearing that. “This is okay though? You’re okay?”

“Yes, I want more,” she muttered, moving to kiss and nip at his neck.

He groaned and his head fell back as he pulled himself free of his boxers. “Take it, then. Please.”

His words pierced her core, spreading heat all over as she pulled her panties to the side. She rubbed her bare skin against him a couple more times, driving them both a little crazy before she slowly started to take him in. She was already incredibly wet which wasn’t hard to believe.

He chuckled breathlessly. “As it is, you’ll be going slow for me. Oh my God. Was it always like this?”

“Yes, it was. Every fucking time.” She took him in a little deeper and she felt his thighs bunch beneath her. He hissed and she could see him trying to hold himself together. It made her take him in even farther. The stretch was intense but fulfilling. Her spine was tingling just from feeling him inside of her.

“Baby,” his breathing was labored as he reached forward and put a thumb to her clit. “Are you okay?”

She choked out a laugh. “Are you okay?”

He smiled up at her. “I’ve withstood far worse.”

“What about far better though?” She sank all the way down, their thighs meeting.

His mouth fell open and he pinched his eyes shut.

“Deku,” she panted. “Look at me, I missed you.”

He opened his eyes to slits. “Fuck, I missed you, too. So much.”

She shifted her hips forward and he groaned. She kissed him as she slowly moved her hips. She felt so full, so warm as they moved together. He was reaching places inside of her that were reaching far beyond just between her legs. But it still wasn’t enough. “This is killing me already.”

“I know what you mean. I could move if you want me to. Thrust up while you stay still. I won’t do anything crazy.”

She could see the effort it was taking him not to do it already. She nodded. “Do it, please.”

“Let me know if I’m holding you too hard,” he said just as he took her hips in a vice grip, supporting the full weight of her upper body. She couldn’t really move if she wanted to. They readjusted and he tested a full slide up into her reaching all the way in, causing them both to gasp. “Yes,” he hissed as he slid nearly all the way out and back in. He picked up speed, finding a steady pulse. “Does it feel good?” She nodded, at a loss for words. “Good, because you feel perfect. So perfect. You are perfect.” He started rambling. “I love you. I love your body. I love being inside of you. I just love everything about you.”

She snaked a hand down to rub her fingers over her clit and Deku reacted in excitement, pulsing faster. She knew her legs were already begging to give out but the pain was an afterthought compared to the pleasure swimming through her veins.

“Baby, please tell me you’re close.”

Kami’s eyes had fallen closed and her body started to tense. “Deku, fuck, I love it. Love the way you make me feel. Love you.” She panted as she chased the high that was within reach.

His mouth was closed but he moaned loud anyway. He was coming then, hips thrusting fast, and she followed right behind him, stars behind her lids, heat and pleasure enveloping her as she was flooded with sensations. He let his body sag against the floor and he pulled her down on top of him, resting her head on his shoulder. He stroked a hand over her hair. “Was that okay?”

“It was great.” She folded her hands over one another on his chest and rested her chin on them as she smiled lazily up at him.

“I think you telling me you loved me sent me over the edge.” He laughed and she joined him.

“Good, then I’ll just have to keep saying it.” She leaned up to kiss him. “I love you, Deku.”

“I love you, Kami.” He wrapped her up in his arms and she knew this is what she wanted forever to look like, being in his arms, soaking in his warmth and listening to his heart beat for her.

[bwoahtastic]

Please momma dire wolf Toto and liltle cheetah cub Max? I'm dying this is adorable!!

Okay, so they wandered into Christian's territory and Christian let them stay just because Maxy is adorable. And they have a little routine now. Momma Toto going to hunt for his baby cub and Christian just watching over Max and his territory.

And Max is just happy cause he can get snuggles and cuddles with both momma and the tiger. But then one day Toto comes back injured like really bad and Christian is torn between just leaving Toto there because, even if he started to get used to him, he only wanted to protect Max first. And the heartbreaking cries little Maxy let out seeing momma like that.

So he settles to help Toto, and take care of him. But that means thinking about a lot and a lot of things! Like should he let Max alone with a recovering Toto? Should he even take Max hunting with him and risking Max life and Toto's?

And while he is over thinking it, he end up settling into leaving Max with Toto. Making him promise to stay hidden in Toto's furr no matter what until Christian comes back.

Christian exploring the whole territory to find out who hurt the dire wolf, and also find out some food. Turns out it was a clan of hyenas.

He comes back and looks at Toto. He then decides to focus on having both Max and Toto healthy enough to fight back for his territory and in the worst case scenario flee somewhere else.

Max during the next four days is glued to his momma and to the tiger. He needs to have them both close. He can feel momma is hurting and he wants to be reassured that Christian will protect them.

Toto makes it in the end and when he look up he sees Christian fussing over Max and taking care of his cub. His heart swells and he try to move. Max immediately jump into his momma's fur and purr like a storm. So so loudly that Christian is surprised this little cub can do that.

Max is rambling about the period to Toto. Saying what happened and that Christian was really worried about Toto and really took care of them. Toto looks at Christian who just huff in annoyance. But deep down Christian is glad that Toto is okay. He is starting to get attached to the wolf and the little cub.

Oh plss! Christian staying with Maxy when Toto goes hunting and in exchange, Toto hunts for the tiger sometimes too. Christian often curls around the little cub in his tiger form when it's cold and rainy, but when the weather allows it, they can have msxy in his chubby toddler form just chonqing away and grinning at Christian with those chubby cheeks! Max likes it cos he gets cuddles and he doesn't have to be afraid anymore when momma leaves.

But then Toto comes back hurt and Christian is torn between judt taking the cub and leaving Toto, but then Max cries for momma and snuggles close to Toto and Christian knows they can't leave Toto behind. Christian making Max hide in Toto's fur whenever he has to go hunting now and hr even feeds Toto too, and tends to his wounds as best he can. Max always wants momma and Christian close, only truly calm when snuggled between them.

Toto getting stronger snd waking up to see his cub playing eith Christian and Christian grooming his lil cub and he is so relieved! And Max purrs up a storm when he sees momma is awake! All happy kitty purrs and then toddler giggles!

Toto thanking Cjristian in earnest when he hears from max that Christian protected then both! He is so grateful. And Christian huffs but is secretly relieved too!

[dreamcrow]

have you done a “how I would fix that movie” meta post? I’m also interested in your stricklake manifesto or something about guillermo del toro’s horror sensibilities and toa

send me a meta prompt (currently closed); thank you for the ask!

how did you know exactly what prompted this lol

stricklake manifesto is...tentatively forthcoming. possibly. probably. stay tuned. while i know i've certainly thought about how i'd fix the movie (and not even purely for niche side blorbo reasons), but i'm not sure how compelling (or coherent) that end product actually is. 🤔

unfortunately my fixit of the movie starts roughly thirty seconds after bellroc vaporizes that poor pigeon in chicago (or wherever metrocity is) and diverges wildly from there. tldr: someone on team trollhunter remembers they're in a gdt show, and asks just why are they all blindly following merlin, anyway. is it barb? god, i want it to be barb. obviously blinky is like "because he's the esteemèd merlin ambrosius, duh" while all three changelings just look directly into the camera. merlin blusters. barb backs off. 

then, once merlin wanders out of earshot, she asks again.

i do think that would be probably the biggest single change. i'm very self-conscious when i sit down in my lil sandbox that i don't want to give barb another job; she has enough already, and she gets mommed by the fandom in a way i don't always think is malicious but which nevertheless generally rubs me wrong. but truly: who else is doing it like her? okay, sure, there's jim: until the last four episodes of trollhunters, his actual, textual superpower is his humanity. he then gets browbeaten into discarding it—the quality that has, until now, been his unique and cited qualification—because the guy who made an amulet out of his student's severed hand acted like he had some kind of moral high ground.  

barb, meanwhile, is also an extraordinarily human human. she's the normie! she's the clueless mundane, a single mother dragged into the supernatural by her only son.  and while she does freak out—rightly! understandably!—when the supernatural puts her and her loved ones in danger, she never speaks against it just for being different. obviously stricklander is the example i've thought about most here: she's mad when he comes back (again, rightly), but her objections are because you lied to and endangered and my son, not because you're a dirty changeling. she's mad (and hurt) when jim lies about fighting off goblins, but because she's scared for him! once the masquerade is broken, she's immediately on his side. she's also the only character to even try to make merlin answer for trollifying jim, even if it's presented humorously. best girl.

so. back to this theoretical fixit: i think barb would be the most natural choice to start the questioning, here. blinky would still push back a little, but with merlin elsewhere, nomura and stricklander don't have to worry about being nice; maybe aaarrrgghh would even chime in on their side (what exactly do the gumm-gumms think of emrys, anyway?). it's not an easy conversation. it's also not the last one. but it starts. for a series that is otherwise unusually arthurian, arthur in trollhunters is conspicuous by his absence. but you have merlin. you have morgana. you also—pace wizards' giant slimy monster, who was cute, but completely overlooked preexisting developments—have the lady of the goddamn lake: legendary enchantress, giver of excalibur, single mother of the best of knights. 

and, most importantly, the one who seals merlin in a fucking tree.

u see where i'm going with this.

once barb starts that question—well. i make no claims that this is recognizable, but you did ask how i would do it, lol. from this i can't help but feel it would cascade pretty dramatically. if stricklander and nomura united behind her, i think jim would follow. claire and toby after him. once the humans (and adjacent) are convinced, i don't think blinky could hold out any longer; maybe the smarter version of him other people keep seeing could be brought around to some kind of "trust, but verify." soft and stupid as i am about wretched wizard blorbos, obviously the order are still being assholes. we don't want them to actually burn it all down. but is that what they're actually trying to do? or is this just another received merlinian dictum? 

god—and if they got to talk to nari about it! once again, one of the biggest failures of wizards (and rott) was how utterly it sidelined its characters in favor of punchy punchy bang bang. this i know have written about somewhere: jim's reduction to a vicarious highschool bully fantasy, how bellroc was flattened into cartoonish, beautifully rendered cardboard-cutout evil, while somehow still staying the most consistent character in the room. stricklander—whose entire character arc in trollhunters was built on 1.) the infinite possibility of an individual for change and 2.) being the smartest bastard in the room—took the first step into his new life by marrying barb and then immediately paid for it with the stupidest death possible. (see a longer and much keener essay about this here, from @millennialmoviereviews.) i cannot overemphasize how frustrated i am—still, yes, i know, about a children's cartoon—about how that movie treated its characters, even ones (the tarrons! douxie! steve!) i don't normally have any investment in.

...but what if that changed? what if we took what used to be the gdt hallmark—sympathy for monsters, without excuse—and committed to the goddamn bit? jim reached out to bular back in trollhunters. yes, what you're doing is wrong; you're hurting people i mean to protect; but i understand you're hurting too, and why, and how we might not be so different. you don't have to do this.

then barb sends merlin to treeby deeby, and bellroc and skrael fucking kiss.

(and then go about actually protecting/repairing the balance of the world or whatever, but i know what i'm about.)

postscript. i admit i pick a lot on merlin. don't get it twisted: i think my own evil wizard blorbos were also complete dumbasses here. but i think part of the reason i am so invested in merlin experiencing a goddamn consequence is pretty closely related to the original reason i was so drawn to gdt's stuff in the first place, namely: decoupling "good" and "evil" from "normal" and "monster," respectively. i don't think this is too much to expect of a kids show, especially one for toa's age group. trollhunters does a great job of doing this—of allowing nuance, of showing how it's possible to think outside the frameworks you know, while still remaining accessible to children—and 3below kind of? tries to keep it up. i think. but wizards...doesn't. even for all it does (inadvertently or otherwise) end up pointing out how merlin and arthur, founts of the same authority, massively screwed up. i've also had many people point out that wizards was pretty much set up to fail: executive meddling, rushed production, etc. etc. which i do sympathize with. 

but it's still. tremendously bitter. to see six seasons' worth of such a unique message get discarded so easily. especially when this was done with such breathtakingly little love for the material.

[tinytinybumblebee]

Hihi!! Back with some more baby Bill!!! :D and it's just more baby Bill and Joel (maybe I'm starting to like the regressor Joel hc....), so your welcome!! :>

I just imagine that Bill would be just playing peacefully with his cars, while tiny Joel his having a nap, and it's all fine and stuff, but I just imagine Joel being such a fussy sleeper!! Always waking up every 30 minutes, or he just wants a cuddle or a change, and he will say what he needs to say!!! But the first time it happens around tiny Bill... it gets kinda hectic.

So just out of nowhere, Joel just starts making lots n lots of fussy baby noises! Just kicking his feets and holding his arms up for someone to pick him up (bc he's probably learned now that he can be a loud crier ;w;), and Bill just gets a massive fright from all the screaming and crying from the lil guy!!! (tbh, i think he would be so shocked to find out how loud a baby can be!!)

And Bill just holds his lil brother's hand, trying to calm him down, but Joel is just a lil tiny one!!! Crying is the way he communicates nearly all the time!! Bill is just p a n i c k i n g- like he doesn't know what to do at all-

But that's when Frank and Tess come to save the day!! Tess just picks up her lil Jo-Jo and takes him into another room to calm him down... and poor Bill is just there, not knowing how to react from all that noise (since he's not really used to so much of it!!!), and he doesn't know how to feel about it!!! But Frank just reassures him and says that 'all babies are like this sometimes and just need a cry, honey', but Bill's having none of it!! Did he get his lil brother hurt???? Was he too loud??? Did he do something to hurt him on accident???

Just a few minutes after, Tess comes back with a now calmer Joel and sighs. 'He was just fussy, 'cause he needed a change... again' XD (bc i know Joel doesn't like being in a wet/messy dip for long!!!) And Frank just chuckles, and just reassures his own lil guy before patting Bill's head and standing up again, after Tess settled Joel down next to Bill, and Joel just goes on like nothing happened, happily playing with his cars XDDDD

Bill on the other hand, just stares down at his hands, not really listening to what Joel is saying... what if he was hurt??? and what if that was all Bill's fault??? What if he gets in trouble???

Frank notices something off with his lil man, and just sees tears stung into Bill's eyes, and just immediately goes over to him and pulls him a little bit away from Joel, who's a lil worried for his big bro. :< Frank just asks why Bill is so upset... and the poor lil guy just bursts into tears, saying that he's sorry for getting Joel hurt... and of course, Frank is just confused at this, why would he be sorry?? He did nothing wrong!!

'Why would you think that, honey? Joely's fine now!' Frank reassures, patting Bill's back softly. But Bill just shakes his head and goes to explain why he thinks it's all his fault for Joel being so upset!! But it's not true at all!! Frank just comforts his lil man and lets him have a bit of a cry to let all those big feelings out.

After a lil bit, Frank just tells Bill why Joel was so upset, and Bill listens, because Frankie is always honest!! And it ends up being that Joel was just a bit fussy, cuz he's smaller than Bill!! (sometimes he forgets that tiny little's younger than him are just fussy and upset!!) And Bill understands all that... saying another few sorrys here and there, but Frank reassures him again n just gives him pepper kissies on his face.

'Now, are we feeling better to go see Jo-Jo again?' Frank asks, looking over the Joel, who just looks a lil worried for Bill ;w; and Bill nods, giving Frank one last hug before the two walk over to Joel and Tess, and immediately, Joel just latches onto Bill and is like 'bubba!! 'ou sads??? :( tan have more cars if 'ou wan'!!' and Joel just wants to make his big bro feel all better!! But Bill just shakes his head and says he's okay now, and that he's okay with just cuddles from Jo-Jo, and Joel just nods and goes back to his cars, while Bill listens

Tess just looks at Frank a lil worried from what happened and is like 'hey, what happened? Bill seemed a little stressed back there.' And Frank just explains how Bill thought all this untrue stuff, and Tess just frowns a bit, looking at the now happy two lil guys, she wonders if Bill had a past moment with someone else he was close with in the same situation... but she would ask later on of course, she didn't want to ruin Bill and Joel's fun :>

C r y i n g oh my goodness 😭😭😭😭💖💖💖 Billy-Boy is devastated at the idea of someone he's come to latch onto as a brother is crying or in distress💔!! He wants to make the hurts Joely is feeling go away, but he's just a lil guy himself so there is only so much Bill can do before Frank or Tess would need to help ;0; !

Joel can definitely be quite the fussy pants when he's in a younger headspace and he'll let it be known (Tess was honestly glad when Joel started letting himself fuss because, before that, Joely would end up with rashes or just near inconsolably upsetie) , even if it unknowingly alarms tiny Bill xD

And that definitely plagues Billy's mind, thinking he did something wrong! But, Frank knows how to soothe and reassure Bill that it's alright, Joely isn't hurt, Billy hasn't done anything bad, it's all okay ;w;

Tess would certainly be curious about Bill's reaction but for now, she'd just tell Billy it's alright, that Jo-Jo just doesn't have the big boy words like Bill to say what's bothering him is all♡ (Cue Billy trying to teach Joel words! But, Joel is just more interested in Bill's moving hands and tries to grab them like a game xD)

[ohleander]

11.10.24

Its been a good long while since I wrote here but I have a ton on my mind right now and I need the fast typing to get it out. I had a lot of good fun today but, emotionally, its not been the best time. Its strange how these things, both good feelings and tough feelings can happen at the same time. I always end up regretting something. I'm finding that I'm able to get through these feelings in a more mindful way these days though. Even when it doesnt feel so successful. I think these feelings of disappointment in myself are natural. I want to do it all, and I want everything to be as perfect as it is in my mind.. and when I'm tired, the gripes feel especially sharp and loud.

I do feel hefty and disorienting feelings of grief after this week. So many emotions swirling around. Anger, bewilderment, sorrow, fear. I'm literally taking everything moment by moment and I've felt more tired than usual. I'm having feelings of regret over how I've spent my time with dad this evening. More than anything I felt very short and disconnected, even though he was in such a rare and jolly mood. I always hate to say "I'll do better tomorrow" because I'm never certain if there's going to be a tomorrow. I fear the loss. I fear the time ill spent by my bad habits, shifting moods, tiredness. I'd love to be more for him and yet it seems like its the easiest to do the least, emotionally, around him because we're at home and I'm usually so toasted. I do have feelings of regret. I often feel at the mercy of my tiredness and my mood swings and it does suck. I often find myself paralyzed. Today I gather that I was also feeling overstimulated from the con and from socializing all day. I also woke up so tired with a headache. Trying to reason with myself and cut myself some slack but I find that often, I'm not very forgiving of myself.

This morning I was struggling so hard with feelings of being so undesirable in so many ways. I think this is always how I've felt about myself. I cant recall ever thinking anything else about myself regarding my relationships with other folks. I don't know where this feeling came from, because I have a lot of evidence to contradict these thoughts and feelings. I reckon that I need so much more reassurance than I know how to ask for or even receive. I guess this will just take more work and practice just like everything else. Learning to shift my thoughts and perspectives on things. I can certainly stay stubborn in my mindsets but it often feels more biological than purposeful. I have this extreme willingness for things that absolutely befuddle me, and feel so beyond me. Like connection, relationships, beliefs about myself. Although in my mind I know that I am just another good lil human, I've never done too much wrong out of malice, and I do try to do my best. As always I think I can try too hard.. though my horoscope did say "dont be afraid to try hard".. Often my feelings and fears of being "too much" come up after I've been in situations that are so fun that I kinda loose myself. I get caught up in the involuntary reactions and responses to others. I am finding (yet again) that I need to slow down more and more. I am starting to find that there's no such thing as progress.. only the moment.. only moving forward. I recognize so much of my dad within myself and I am trying to treat those feelings with love, rather than anxiety. I'm still trying to convince myself that I am good. I am good. Why is that so hard to believe most of the time? Why do my thoughts immediately flip to the contrary.. why am I often such a contrary being? I like both sides of things. I often think in opposites and flipsides, in mix mashes and mismatches. Of compliments and duality. I dont mean to be argumentative. I want someone who finds me as fascinating and wonderful as I do the rest of the world. Someone thoughtful and purposeful. Reliable. Someone I can exist with without all of my excess overthinking worries. Someone I can trust and believe fully. That feels like a big step. I'm still learning what trust feels like. LA

[moidse]

2/1/24

Fuck. I had another dream last night where someone super cute is hitting on me. What was wild was in this dream that hot person... it was like i was in school it felt like high school and i noticed this hot person and like later in the dream im around them again and they are just very forward and tell me they have a crush on me and i say something back like, omg i've been trying to ignored how hot you are in my head... something like that and then i immediately say, oh for transparency, I am in a monogamous relationship. And i dont rememeber what the person said but they were like a lil disappointed. But i was soooo into them in the dream i woke up from my alarm to check slack and was so annoyed that i woke up right after that and i stayed in bed til 1pm cuz of it.

Like jeezuz, whenever i have these dreams it messes me up for at least a full day... its like similar to if i see someone super hot ikr that fucks with my head. but what was crazy about this dream, cuz lets be real i have been having more and more dreams like this over the past few years... dreams where someone super cute hits on me or im vibing with someone super cute and its like i have a dream girlfriend or new crush thats into me and im so excited and happy and feeling all these feelings and then i wake up and feel sad that i dont feel those feelings anymore. I feel sad that its been so long since ive felt those feelings. I clearly deeply miss feeling the excitement and rush and whorlwind of emotion that is having a crush like you back. I miss feeling sooo deeply sexually attracted to someone that the sex just regularly makes me cry. I miss feeling that passion and anytime i'm reminded of the fact that that feeling has been missing in my life my mind starts to spiral.

What am I to do with these feelings? I feel like my options are bringing this up and having them panic but being transparent. I don't really know what next steps of that convo would be except just like hey im definitely have been less and less into this over the years and idk at what point i should stop and admit to myself that i really wish i could be hitting on other people. God its so sad how fucking sad i get when i get super turned on my someone because i know i dont feel that in my own relationship and its depressing.

Like, i get that relationships fizzle out over time but ours like immediately did for me. It hurts to think about but its true that its been so many years, fucking going on 5 years since ive had amazing sex, made someone cum, felt super hot and good about myself and my sex life... like its crazy. But its just like our lives are so interwined at this point its just scary to think of how we can live apart. I do really like them and care about them which is also what makes it hard. its not like we don't do well together caring after each other... its just like can i really also carry this deep sadness? How many more years am I going to be carrying this sadness and feel so disconnected with myself.

I feel like i lost my sense of self. I am my relationship. I miss when i was my own self. I feel like i worry about every little thing in social senerios because im not that happy in my life and i dont want ppl to know that. So i just dont go out and dont open up to ppl. Cuz i dont want them to know how i feel disconnected and not into anything.

I was thinking .. what if i open up and say hey i had this dream last night and its really been weighing on me. I've been having dreams like this more and more and i know i tried to tell you this before and you brushed it off, but to me its clear that im having these dreams because i wish i could be flirting and dating other people. Which like, idk how you feel, are you interested in flirting/dating other people at all? Do you ever miss that? Because i do. Like, everything mostly works in our relationship but i always feel like i want to be dating other people. It's hard because i feel conflicted because we do work so well together. I'm like is that enough for me? Is it stupid to throw away a relationship that is very meaningful and having to spedn months uprooting my life so that i can eventually start sleeping with other ppl again.. ... ... damn just thinking about being able to sleep with other ppl seems soooo nice :( ... i miss it. ... and like i know i'll be salty when im rejected a million times and have bad experiences but when you get a good one its so good. and im annoyed ive never gotten to cruise here or go on dates. like im in big city and ppl think im hotter here and FOR WHAT?! i dont even get to taste the local cuisine.

[chaikachi]

When I say crumbs, I do mean crumbs. Not going to stop me from having a lil feast tho cause that's what fandom is all about. :3c

First one is right at the very beginning of the movie. Ruby is talking about who she is and recapping the events of the previous film. She starts by saying:

"Honestly, something wasn't quite right about our world either."

before the shot pans to this:

So of all the things that were noticeably different about Remnant in the first film, the one Ruby brings up as the example to demonstrate is Oscar not being himself.

Which we know was something she found very distressing!

These are the only times Oscar actually shows up in either movie, hence why I say crumbs. The rest will contain some plot spoilers so please tread with caution if you haven't seen the new one yet!

Some context: Ruby has regressed in this movie. She is being reckless and impatient, much like in the earlier volumes. Or a bit like Blake who wouldn't stop to take time & rest before throwing herself into danger. She doesn't seem to care about throwing her life away and isn't thinking before she acts.

There is a brief scene where Yang and The Flash talk about how trauma can negatively affect you. How it can linger and mess with your identity and your ability to feel safe, even after the danger has passed. And how your responses to it can worry the people that care about you...

This scene immediately transitions to Ruby, who is supposed to be resting, running over a dozen combat simulations in one of the Justice League's practice rooms. And the shot it pans to after that conversation about trauma, is her cutting down a carboard cutout that looks like this:

Which, um... I know I have shipping goggles on, but you can't tell me that doesn't look like Oscar??? Of all the NPC hair cuts and colours they could have gone with, this was the final design they chose? HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS.

And we know Ruby's actions are a result of recent trauma and her response to it because they address it about as directly as they could.

After Ruby and Clark finish their practice session, they sit down to have a chat about what's been going on with her. The structure is pretty similar to the Dojo Scene in V5, Ruby and a Farm Boy exchanging some of their worries with each other in a training room. But it's what Ruby says that specifically stands out to me as another RG parallel.

"Did you know I lost my mom when I was a kid? I don't know exactly what happened to her, I don't really remember her, I just have stories. And I keep trying to live up to those stories, but... I realize they don't matter anymore. Heroes fall. And I just want to get as much done as I possibly can before I do."

Which, if we compare to Oscar's resolve in V6, a direct response to the Dojo Scene in V5...

"I don't know how much longer I'm going to be... me. But I did some thinking, and I do know that I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left."

WHICH IS JUST. WHAT ROSEGARDEN ALWAYS DOES. THE SAME THING, BUT SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT.

Both of them committed to the cause. Oscar, in spite of an imminent 'end' via the merge versus Ruby, who apparently took Torchwick's words from V3 to heart. Because she wants to be the hero, and playing that part means to "die like every huntsman in history". So she's just playing along, without any regard for her own safety, waiting for fate to be done with her because she doesn't think she has a chance of surviving, so she doesn't go out of her way to try.

Lastly, both in the comics and in the movies, Ruby's dynamic with Clark is quite a bit similar to her dynamic with Oscar. They're set up as leader parallels and have similar conversations, and Clark is another farm boy with a destiny. So take Ruby blushing as she jumps to hug him at the end of the movie as you will. Cause apparently RG Antis are mad about this being proof she's going to end up with Oscar LMAO

Some of the analyses I do on here are very serious, but seeing as this is a spin-off, non-canon movie, take all of this with a grain of salt. 🤭There are much stronger arguments towards RG in the 9 Volumes of the show itself, but as I mentioned at the beginning, that can't stop us from having a bit of fun with it. That being said, Rosegarden canon and #GreenlightVolume10 already!!!!

and if I tell you there are RG crumbs in the second JL movie...

[cannibalcoyote]

Aaron Hotchner: Found Out

Imagine your boyfriend(Aaron Hotchner) realizes you're the unsub:

-Lil warning: includes descriptions of blood/gore, also a little hint of past domestic abuse, PTSD, murder, hint of child abuse/molestation-

My life wasn't always this complicated, I would find my target, learn their schedule, then attack. I didn't kill innocent people, only scumbags like pedophiles, rapists, and abusers who got off easy or didn't get prosecuted at all; I had easy access as I worked as a courtroom reporter.

Sadly, this simple life couldn't last.

———————

Everything changed when I met a certain prosecutor, he had short black hair and a serious expression on his face, one which I immediately found attractive. We were never on the same case, only seeing each other in passing. I only really got to know him when we bumped into each other during a coffee break and finally started talking. He had invited me to go out for lunch later that day, and we scheduled another meeting from there.

We quickly started dating, I supported him and his rampant schedule as mine was equally rampant, and my support never faltered when he took on the daunting task of joining the FBI. I had held off on killing when I started dating Aaron, but I really only managed for a few months.

I was honestly surprised when no connection or larger investigation was ever created, I think I have made it quite obvious that these crimes were done by the same killer. I had actually studied criminology in university, but I had a certain interest in serial killers that dated all the way back to childhood. I loved the idea of having a signature to distinguish yourself by, to have a certain way that you kill.

My preferred way was to poison them, unnecessary violence is something I don't indulge in unless they truly deserve it. Certain crimes such as rape/sodomy, and crimes against children or the elderly usually make me feel the need to be malicious and cruel; I always torture pedophiles though, there is absolutely nothing good or redeeming about them. The way I would kill them is through slow torture, possibly cutting off their fingers or toes, sometimes even removing every single tooth in their mouth before I allow them to die.

After their deaths, I drain their blood, usually into a bucket, then I will take an amount into a cup and move to a wall, usually the one nearest to them. I take down any pictures and move away anything cluttering the space before I start. This part is always my favorite, making beautiful artwork out of their filthy, dirtied blood.

I make my art take up the whole wall, usually drawing a vicious beast, such as a dragon, or possibly a snarling dog, but sometimes I draw beautiful things, such as a landscape or a galloping horse. I try not to draw beautiful things, but I can't stop it when the brush speaks.

This process naturally takes a lot of time. I used to not have to worry, but now I have to make sure I spend enough of my personal time with Aaron that I don't seem distant or suspicious. The last thing I want is for him to think I'm cheating or that I don't love him.

———————

Today... Was an off day. I had spent the last week on surveillance of this man, Kade Wilkins, he was a child predator who was arrested for lewd and lascivious acts with a child under the age of 14. I was in the courtroom during his case and had to hear all the gruesome details, the kid even went up to testify. Sadly, this man somehow landed a phenomenal lawyer who got him off with only having to register as a sex offender and five years community service.

I was immensely enraged, the kid actually walked up to me afterwards and asked what happened because no one else would tell him the truth. I had to explain that the man who had been molesting and abusing him for a year was just set free with practically no punishment.

Kade Wilkins was disgusting, he would walk over to the elementary schools and watch them during recess, then he would just wander around aimlessly, usually near parks before stopping at a liquor store to buy beer and ask if someone would let him borrow a cigarette. Today, I was gonna be that person.

He had walked into the store as per usual, I waited outside, pulling the laced cigarette pack out of my purse as planned, but all he did was walk right past, paying no attention to the expensive cigarettes being held in my hand. I let out an aggravated sigh after he was out of hearing range, I guess I will have to do this the hard way.

I wait until night falls, he already lives in a shady neighborhood, the last thing I want is for one of his neighbors to see my face. I quickly scale the tattered wood fence, landing quietly in the dying grass of his backyard. Walking over to the back door I quickly slide it open, this idiot never locks his doors.

I hear the shower running, meaning he's probably in his room already, so I will just have to wait because I do not want to see this creep in the shower.

Looking around his home I immediately feel filthy, there's trash on the tables from weeks of takeout, and dirty laundry is littered on the floor, empty beer cans scattered on the tattered smelly couch. Dirty dishes are stacked sky high along the sink, and the fridge reeks of old food and cheap alcohol.

I avert my eyes to look at the watch on my left wrist, the time was 1950(7:50pm), Aaron and I had a dinner reservation at 2200(10:00pm), so I will have to sadly make his death quick.

I must've been in my mind longer than I thought, because the next thing I know I feel arms wrapped around my neck, I did not come here looking for a fight so I am unhappily caught off guard. I fight back, stomping my boots on his sock covered toes, throwing my head back into his nose.

Kade backs up, now sporting a nose bleed with a crooked smile. My arms are up defensively, he always made me uneasy, even from afar, but now I felt straight up disgusted and sick. Wanting to end this quickly I snatch my mace from my belt and spray his face excessively.

He lets out shouts of agony, but I quickly silence him with a pistol-whip to the face. He seems knocked out, so I quickly get to work draining his blood. I usually do this by hanging them up by their arms and just cutting off their feet, letting gravity do the rest for me. This isn't exact or professional, but I don't care, I just want enough blood to paint with.

Normally this process can take up to 20 minutes, but I usually just take blood as it drains. I've also found that blood consistency really matters, use thinner blood for an outline, and thicker when you want more distinguishing features, warming the blood will make it a runnier consistency.

With Kade I had him hanging from some hooks on his ceiling (presumably for a bike), I was already wearing protective gear, the last thing I want is to contract some sort of disease from this sicko.

Normally when I cut off their feet they remain unconscious, but today was simply not my day. Not only did he regain consciousness, he also tried to fight back, I really didn't want to endure this so I slid my knife from its sheath and stabbed it through his neck into his oral cavity.

The look in his eyes was fearful and pleading, but that only made me grin knowing that I made this predator feel nothing but fear in his last moments.

When he is finally dead I pull out a small purple stone from my pocket and delicately place it on top of his head. Call me crazy, but Amethyst is a healing stone, and in some weird way I hope it heals his broken mind in whatever afterlife he is in.

I quickly get to work with painting, his old yellow wallpaper isn't ideal, but I make it work. Today felt different, it felt like his blood didn't want to be paint, but ink; used for writing instead of drawing, and I am not one to go against what the brush wants.

I begin writing, in dripping cursive as well as sharp print. Some words were light whilst others were carved, the blood against the wall reminding me of the orange sunsets against the cold, blue ocean.

It was a while before I stepped back to admire my work, and it was only then I realized that the words were things he had said, things people had said when defending him, but the real thing that stood out was directly in the middle of the wall. It was something that the boy had said to me, and just looking at it written in this man's blood gave me a high that I knew should disgust me.

It said "Why is he free?" Nothing else could sum up how I felt during the court's decision, and knowing that I had taken away his freedom for eternity made me smile with glee.

I immediately began cleaning up, finally glancing at the clock to see it was already 2130(9:30pm), which gave me only 30 minutes to get home and get ready before meeting Aaron for dinner. My heart felt like it was throbbing within my chest, I had made up an excuse of working late today even though Aaron only gets a few days off, at some level I am glad I rid the world of the POS known as Kade Wilkins, but on another I am disgusted that I would rather kill this man than spend time with the one who loves me.

I shove away those thoughts, almost leaving before quickly turning around and approaching the wall, I completely forgot to sign it seeing as this wasn't a drawing. Too lazy to get a brush and start painting again with blood I simply pulled a pen from my purse and signed it before turning off the lights and heading back to my car.

———————

I arrive home in 10 minutes, thankfully(or unluckily?) Kade lived only a short drive away from our shared house. I rush in, tossing my purse on the table as I lock the front door, immediately setting off upstairs and stripping myself of my clothes, tossing them into the washer before hopping into the shower, the last thing I need is for Aaron to see blood on my clothes.

As I get dressed I feel arms wrap around my waist softly, I tense up rigidly before smelling Aaron's cologne and feeling at ease again. He had already felt me tense up though, releasing my waist as he walked in front of me.

"What's wrong?" He asks in his calm tone, I can't help but avoid his eyes, still looking away even when he lifts my face up to look at him. He releases a quiet sigh, I finally shift my eyes to him, taking in his fitting black suit and his soft looking hair. I can't help but reach my hand out to run my fingers through it, him closing his eyes and leaning into my touch as he releases my chin.

"Where's Jackie boy gone?" I question, nonchalantly trying to change the topic of conversation, I don't know if he noticed that or not.

"I dropped him off at Jessica's, she said she wouldn't mind watching him for the night." He speaks, his voice deeper than it was a few moments ago, I can't help the smile that crosses my face as he grabs my hand from his hair, placing a gentle kiss upon it as he looks into my eyes.

"We should get going if we want to make our reservation, last time they almost gave our table away." I state a laugh bubbling in my throat as Aaron chuckles, nodding his head at the memory of me quickly running to our table and telling the waiter off for trying to sit another couple there.

We quickly walked out of our house, Aaron opening the door for me before getting in and driving off. The ride there is quiet and comfortable, the hum of music playing throughout the car with our voices occasionally joining the tune. We are a little late when we finally arrive, but to be honest, 10 minutes is early for us when it comes to dinner reservations.

The restaurant is fancier than I remember. I glance down at my plain black dress and feel slightly uncomfortable, Aaron seems to sense this because as soon as we sit down he reaches out and grasps my hand.

"Honey, what is it?"

"I just feel really under-dressed. You fit right in with your handsome self in a suit, but I'm just in a bland black dress." I quickly respond, feeling my cheeks warm up as I realize how I complimented him during my self-deprecating response. His cheeks are now dusted with a faint sheen of pink, and even though he is slightly flustered, I only pay attention to the warm look in his gaze.

"I'll have you know, that 'bland black dress' is possibly my favorite dress, and you look incredibly gorgeous whenever you wear it." His response causes me to be even more flustered, my eyes dropping to the ground at his compliments. He lets out a quiet string of laughs at my flustered state, squeezing my hand in comfort before sliding my menu over to me.

The rest of the night went quite similar, him making me flustered and myself complimenting him unintentionally, the night felt carefree and I found myself paying no mind to how I brutally murdered a pedophile not even 3 hours ago. The only time it even barely crossed my mind was when Aaron asked how my day was, but I quickly made up an excuse that satisfied his curiosity.

When we finally got home it was nearing 2350(11:50pm), I was much too tired to do anything other than change into a loose shirt before getting in bed, Aaron quickly checked the windows and doors of the house before changing and getting in bed as well. We shared a few slow, lingering kisses before snuggling into each other to fall asleep.

———————

When I woke up, Aaron was already trying to slide out of bed without waking me up, but I quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him back under the covers, releasing a groan of disapproval that he was trying to leave.

We lay like that for a few more minutes before he tries to leave again, which results in me hugging his arm and entangling my legs with his to stop his escape.

I hear him huff in amusement at my antics, the next thing I know he's kissing along my neck, something that I definitely do not attempt to deny. Slowly his kisses move to my clavicle, his arms grasping me and turning me onto my back as he hovers over me, his kisses moving back to my neck before meeting my lips. This kiss is gentle, reminding me of all the reasons that I love this man, causing me to smile slightly.

As he pulls away I finally open my eyes, greeting his dark ones with warmth. I must look so sleepy right now because a grin etches upon his face before he kisses me once more. This kiss is more passionate and leaves me in a daze, which he takes advantage of and slides out of bed. I whine slightly as his warmth leaves me, pulling more covers over for me to snuggle into.

"Honey, you know I have work, I'll try and be back at a reasonable hour, and Jessica will be dropping Jack off after school." He speaks softly as he starts buttoning up his shirt. I gaze at him and smile, he always looks so handsome in the crisp morning air with the pale sunrise shining through the window.

"I know Aar, I just miss you." I smile constantly, something he quickly returns before he starts searching for a tie to wear, holding out a purple or a blue one for me to choose from, I obviously choose the purple one. He grins at my cheekiness as I swat the blue one away and hand him the purple one, he says a 'thank you' before giving me a peck and then returning to getting dressed.

I must've dozed off because I felt Aaron kissing my forehead goodbye. I try to open my eyes, but can only manage a mumbled 'goodbye' before falling back into dreamland.

———————

As I get up, I start a cup of coffee up and walk to the washroom, my stomach turns uncomfortably as I realize that my dirty clothes from last night have just been sitting in the washer, not getting washed. I look through them, not seeing anything missing, and immediately turn on the washing machine, letting out a breath as I head back to the kitchen.

I add some half-and-half and some sugar before throwing on some pants and sitting on the porch. Call me country, but I like to sit out on the porch in the morning to drink coffee and read.

I wave and say 'good morning' to neighbors as they head out for work, everyone around the neighborhood is at least my acquaintance.

I head back inside after finishing my coffee, glancing at the clock to see it is 09:00am, I have to be at work at 10:00am. I quickly set about getting dressed, throwing on a dark gray blouse with some black dress pants, lacing up my work shoes and grabbing my purse as I head out the door. Hopping into my old little car I begin the drive to work, turning on the radio and tuning into the 70s station.

———————

Aaron Hotchner's POV:

This morning had been great, y/n was always incredibly cute, but even today she seemed to be surpassing her normal standard. I always try to sneak out of bed because I don't want to annoy her, but I've found that her waking up leads to a very enjoyable morning, and it always makes me feel better about going to work.

Everything was going great until I went into the washroom, y/n already had some clothes but they weren't washed yet, I pulled some out to see what settings I should set the machine to, but my mind quickly went blank when I saw splatters of red on her jeans. Y/n loves to paint, but she has specific clothes to paint in, and she would never wear her favorite pair of jeans.

This paint also looks weird, like really thin, almost like it was watercolor, but it seems to be flaking, and y/n only buys quality paint and absolutely detests watercolor.

All of this is making me feel uncomfortable, in any other circumstance I would immediately think this was blood, but y/n couldn't hurt anyone, she wouldn't even hurt a fly. The thing that finally makes me ask questions is when I notice the strong smell of iron, something that I've smelled many times before when walking into a crime scene.

I feel uncomfortable, grabbing the over-shirt from the clump of clothes, placing it in a Ziploc bag before heading over to work. I don't know why my stomach was in twists, she probably just cut her finger or something.

———————

Arriving at work I quickly stuff the clothing into my bag, the team doesn't even know I have a girlfriend, the last thing I want is for them to think she is a murderer. I rub my temples as I await the elevator's arrival, luckily it is empty, I really don't feel like being profiled right now.

I neutralize my expression when I reach my floor, striding out of the elevator and through the glass doors, barely sparing any glances to my team. I just want to smooth this whole thing out already, I need to get this clothing tested so that I can feel at ease.

I sit at my desk for a few minutes, mulling over files that still need to be finished, but I immediately stand up, making my way out of my office and through the bullpen, JJ walks by and stops me.

"Sir, we have a case."

"Okay, start without me, I'll join you in a few minutes." I don't give her time to respond, I just begin walking away and to the elevator.

———————

I have just dropped off the clothes, making sure they knew this was incredibly under-wraps and not to be spoken of unless it is directly to me. I think they were kind of scared, but that is the least of my worries.

Walking back into the conference room everyone immediately looks to me, JJ pausing as I take my seat, nodding for her to continue. She does, everyone slowly giving her their attention again, I can tell they want an explanation or an excuse, but I really just want to get past this day.

I glanced at the screen, seeing several gruesome murders, most were men, and they all looked like sleazes. JJ finishes up her presentation, and after a quick chat I decide that this case needs our attention.

"Wheels up in 20."

———————

"What do we know about victimology?" I question, the team quickly starts chattering away.

"Every victim seems to be some sort of criminal, most of them are pedophiles, but there are also some rapists as well as abusers." Reid spouts as he leans back in his chair.

"Alright, so we have a mission-oriented killer, someone who is cleaning up the world, and he is organized and in control." Morgan states. I nod, looking down at the files on my device.

"Why do you say he's organized? These scenes look manic to me." JJ questions

"I actually believe the houses already looked like that, these people were low lifes, they were trashy and disorganized, not to mention criminals. I don't think our unsub did any of that to the house. Also, look at each scene, they are all hanging somehow, they have their feet cut off, and each scene has a painting. These crimes look planned, they were carefully organized and each decision was planned out." Prentiss responds, zooming in to show JJ small details that support her, everyone nodding their heads in agreement.

"This killer also seems to want power and control, look at the way these men are restricted and hanging, he even cut off their feet to possibly stop them from running." I voice, shuffling through the images. Everyone continues bouncing ideas and theories off each other.

"What's with the stone on top of their heads?" Prentiss questions, zooming in on each crime scene photo to show a purple rock of some kind placed on their heads. Everyone looks interested, it would seem we all missed that detail.

"That is actually a crystal, commonly known as an amethyst, but is also known as amethystus in Latin writings. It is considered a powerful and protective crystal, in spiritual religions they claim it opens up a person's third eye and is considered a source of power and wisdom. It is said to have healing properties, such as relieving stress, dispelling anger, and dissolving negativity. People claim it activates spiritual awareness, opens intuitions, and heightens psychic abilities." Reid rambles, looking slightly interested, but also slightly confused, squinting his eyes as he mulls over his explanation and tries to connect it to the crimes.

"Why do you think he is putting an amethyst on each of them? It is obviously deliberate. What is he trying to do?" Rossi asks, that question stumped us for a few moments.

"Lots of people believe that pedophiles have broken minds, this is due to the fact that pedophilia isn't something you can cure, many people believe death is the only thing you can do to protect others." Reid responds.

"Are you saying that our unsub is trying to heal them?" Morgan questions. We all glance at each other.

"Possibly, but I'm not completely sure since people think an amethyst crystal can do so many things. This could be a form of remorse or it could be a way of asking forgiveness for themselves since they killed them." Reid responds again, seeming to only be forming more questions with each answer he reaches.

"How long until we arrive?" Prentiss questions after we had settled down.

"Not long for some of us, I'm sending Derek and Rossi to Ohio, it was where the first 4 victims were murdered. You, Reid, JJ and I will be heading to the 6 more recent crime scenes, which are here in Virginia, we only have another 10 minutes, you guys have about an hour." I say, seeing people nod their heads at the plan.

I feel myself beginning to doze off. I didn't get to sleep a lot, having gotten home around 11:30 and having to wake up around 5:00. Usually I try to stay awake, but today has already been so stressful I allow myself the few moments of rest I have before we have to land.

———————

Y/N's POV:

Today in the courtroom I had to endure a murder trial, sometimes I really hate my life.

A man had killed his wife, and was claiming that she abused him, but he has no evidence to support his claims. Apparently his wife was trying to leave him and take their kids, she wanted to live separately whilst they were finalizing their divorce. He stated that she said she was 'never going to let him see his kids again' and that 'her boyfriend will be a better father than he ever was', and all he could remember from there was seeing red.

I hate these days, lots of people claimed crimes of passion, and though it didn't mean no punishment, it was always a lighter sentence. The person always throws in that their spouse was cheating or abusive.

The moment I arrived home I went to work researching the woman and man, Irene and Arnold Daniels. She had social media, which she rarely used. I quickly hacked my way into her account, though she barely posted anything, she seems to have messaged a few people quite a lot. Mainly two friends, Sheryl Walters and Tanner Singer. I start my programs and it begins scanning through all of her messages, immediately showing the results I wanted.

"He keeps hitting me, and threatening to leave with his girlfriend.." That message alone stopped me in my tracks, I should've known Arnold would be the cheating one. I scan through the message, searching for a name when I find one, a 'Rachel Moors'. Irene goes into detail about how Arnold has been dating Rachel on the side for about a year now, and how that was when he started hitting her and yelling at their children.

I stop myself from continuing, I have all the evidence I need now to know that Arnold Daniels murdered his wife, anymore looking and I would feel gross because I'm snooping through a dead woman's private messages. I quickly exit and shut down my computer,feeling relieved that I can do this without worrying about Aaron seeing.

Don't get me wrong, I would die for Aaron, and I love him to death, but having my own space is nice every once and awhile. I gave up a lot when I started dating him. I was planning on killing at least once a week, which I had been achieving, but that had to slow down because I now need to be careful in my own home.

Back in Ohio I had started on accident, the first kill was done impulsively and in a complete rage, I didn't paint with their blood, instead I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and started drawing, it was something I did when I felt nervous or uncomfortable. Next thing I know I'm killing again, but this time I planned it, and experimented with using their blood to draw.

The third murder was when I had really created my style, I would knock them unconscious, hang them up, and then kill them by draining their blood, using it to paint on their walls. The 4th murder was the cleanest, the man, Gray Daws, was a man with multiple petty crimes, but he was currently being tried for the rapes of 3 women. Each woman refused to go into the box, so with little evidence and no one talking, he was released.

I was about to move to Virginia, and I wasn't planning on killing again, but this case just stuck with me. I spent about a week stalking him, he frequented night clubs and bars, and picked up a prostitute at least once every day. I learned his schedule and dressed to his preference, wanting to know how he talked to these girls.

It was a lively night, I think some game was on and a carnival was being held just down the road, the streets full of people. I was leaning over the bar, slowly sipping a cold coke when a drink was placed in front of me, not by a bartender, but by Gray Daws himself. I obviously didn't drink it, it was bubbling with something that reminded me of when my friend placed a capsule of ecstasy into her water. I simply looked at him and smiled.

He was dressed in a suit that screamed expensive, but looking closely I could see it was a knock off meant to fool me. Glancing to his wrist I saw a fake Rolex, I acted impressed though, raking my eyes over his sleazy figure. His hair was black but was graying on the sides, and it looked oily, slicked back with some of it falling to the side. His face was clean but it just looked dirty, the stubble on his jaw repulsing me.

Heslid the glass closer to me, placing his other hand on my lower back. I wanted to smack his hand away and pour the drink down his shirt, but I held back, instead mustering up an attractive smile that seemed to work.

"What are you doing here all alone, doll face?" The nickname alone made me want to growl, but instead I took one of my hands and grabbed the offered drink, swirling it around in the glass.

"I could ask you the same, a handsome man like you surely can't be single." I state, placing my hand on his chest to push him back slightly, both to play hard to get as well as to feel less repulsed. He pays no mind and lowers his hand even further, making me shift in my seat

"How would you like to get to know me in private then, I know a place." He continues, his voice lowering as he pushes into my personal space. He tries to grab my wrist, but I quickly twirl my seat around and glide out of it quickly; I don't really feel like letting a rapist touch me.

That night I left my home at around 2300(11:00) since Daws goes to sleep around 2400(12:00). I snuck into his house and tied him down, pouring the drink he gave me down his throat. He woke up immediately, choking as he swallowed the liquid. He tried to get up, but I could already see the drug working, for him I wanted him to be awake. I went to his kitchen, pulling out a big knife from a drawer before returning back to his room. He tried to resist even pleading for me to stop, but I couldn't and I wouldn't.

———————

Aaron Hotchner's POV:

We arrived at the local PD, Prentiss and Reid quickly heading to the room after greeting Detective Calder. JJ waits with me as I talk with him.

"Detective, what have you and your team come up with so far?" I question as we walk to the setup room.

"So far we see no sexual element at all, he leaves no evidence and each murder seems to be getting more and more organized." He states in frustration, something I can understand, I can't believe they are only just now calling us in.

"I'm going to send a member of my team to look at some of the crime scenes, would you please have an officer escort her." I ask, but it's more of a statement. I need to get to the bottom of this case quickly, an organized killer that just gets more organized is not exactly great. I'm about to send Prentiss when an officer from the other room shouts over to us.

"There's been another murder!" We have to drive practically back to Quantico, but I don't mind, it gives me some time to go over the case; I'm about to turn on some music when my phone rings. I answered calmly.

"Hotchner."

"Yes, sir, this is about the forensics you requested."

"Yes, what is it?"

"Sir, we can confirm these are blood spatters." My heart speeds up in trepidation at all the thoughts crossing my mind.

"Save all information on it and hold it, it might come in handy with this case." I respond, barely letting the person respond before ending the call. I'm frustrated and scared, the fact that my sweet girlfriend might be a murderer makes me grip the steering wheel a bit tighter.

"Hotch, who was that?" Emily questions, looking over at me, though I refuse to look at her, I know she'll see the uncertainty and fear in my eyes.

"It was no one." I respond shortly, my voice quiet.

"You said it might help our case, why won't you tell me what it is?" She asks. Sometimes I hate her for being so nosy, but I know that she should be made aware.

"Prentiss, I have a girlfriend."

"....Okay." She responds, clearly confused.

"This morning... Just before I left, I found some of her clothes from last night, and it looked like they had blood on them. I sent them to the lab and it was confirmed it was blood."

"Hotch, I think you might be jumping to conclusion, there's a lot of reasons there could be blood on her shirt."

"I know I know, I shouldn't be so nervous and suspicious, but I just can't help it."

The rest of the ride is silent until we arrive at the house. It is surrounded by police, neighbors crowding around and having to be held back by the police. Thankfully the news hasn't caught wind of these cases yet, when they did it would only feed the killers need for control, it might make him speed up his schedule.

———————

Entering the house I am greeted with the strong scent of iron, one that sadly reminds me of Y/n's clothes that reeked of the same scent. Looking around I immediately see things that are different about this crime scene. For one, it looks like there was a struggle, and the victim is a lot more beat up than the others.

"Are we sure this is the same killer, this was done sooner than their schedule, and it looks like he actually fought this victim." Prentiss voices, walking around the crime scene before settling near the dead man.

I look around, slightly confused at the change in MO, but I think it is still the same killer, I am only supported when I glance into the other room. It makes me even more confused, I have so many questions forming

"I think it's the same killer."

"Why?" Prentiss questions, walking towards me before poking her head around me to see what I'm looking at. Her jaw drops open, the wall is covered in dried blood, but instead of a drawing we find writing. It covers the whole surface and looks like the ramblings of a mad man, the message in the middle being the most prominent.

"Why is he free?" I read, my voice full of confusion. Prentiss is about to respond when my phone goes off.

"Hotchner."

"Office of Supreme Genius coming at you with some knowledge." Garcia responds, I want to smirk at her playful responses, but this case makes me want to frown.

"What have you found so far?"

"Nothing good, sadly. A lot of these people are obviously sickos, but it seems they are all sickos that get off with little to no punishments. The man you are visiting right now molested and abused a young boy for a year, and he only has to register as a sex offender and do community service.

The others include people such as a Gray Daws, who was accused of raping three women, all of which refused to testify and the case fell through. There are others, but they are all similar in that the person obviously did horrible things, and they either got a light punishment or no punishment at all." Garcia finishes.

"Are there any similarities in where each case was held? Are any names repeated in any of the trials or investigations?" I quickly responded, wanting to know if anyone was present during all of these trials.

"That will take me a couple of minutes sir, I will call you back when I have results." Garcia quickly ends the phone call, and I slide my phone back into my pocket.

"You think we're looking for a guy in criminal justice?" Prentiss asks, and I simply nod before I turn around to face her.

"Look at this crime scene and tell me what you see."

"...I see a serious need for control, it seems like it is a requirement to instill fear in his victims. He never shots his victims even though he obviously carries, preferring to use knives as well as preferring to torture his victims beforehand, but this victim was killed rather suddenly for some reason." She responds slowly and confidently, glancing around the house before focusing on the dead man.

"Good, now tell me what is missing." She takes a moment to think about my question before looking around.

"There is no sexual element, and no humiliation, the victims are left clothed, and the unsub for some reason seems to be exhibiting remorse. He doesn't fit into the standard profile perimeters." I listen closely to what she says, and almost feel a smirk slide upon my face.

"I think I know what we're missing about our unsub." I state, feeling Prentiss stare at me in confusion.

"What about him would explain this." She questions exasperatedly.

"For one, I don't think this is a he."

———————

I get a call from Dave, he explains the first few crime scenes and victims.

The very first was a man named Cain Smith, he was a young man who was a lawyer and known to be incredibly obnoxious, he was also said to be quite misogynistic. It was messy and impulsive, and there was practically no resemblance to our current killer apart from a drawing and signature left on a piece of paper.

The second murder was getting more organized, she was starting to experiment with blood, the third murder had her painting on the walls and hanging the men up, and the last murder was similar, but more vengeful than the others, it actually reminded me a lot about the first murder.

"Dave, I think our unsub is a female."

"Well... that makes more sense, especially when it comes to the lack of sexual gratification."

"Yah, but look at the other clues as well. She uses an amethyst, something many believe to be a healing crystal, most guys don't really buy into that sort of stuff. Also, look at the crimes these people are committing, rape, spousal abuse, molestation, these are all things that women will pay the most attention too, sure, battery and robbery are bad, but these crimes tend to really catch a girls attention."

"I think you might be on to something Aaron-" Dave was cut off as an incoming call interrupted him.

"Hold on, Garcia is joining our call." I state, quickly accepting.

"Hello sirs. So Hotch I did that research you asked and it turns out every case was held in the same place, well, the cases in Ohio were held in the same courthouse, and the cases in Virginia were held in the same courthouse."

"That's great Garcia, did you find any names in common?"I asked, hoping that I wouldn't be arresting my girlfriend anytime soon.

"Only one, the courtroom reporter is the same in each of these cases, her name is Y/n L/n, and she was living in Ohio before going off the grid. There is no paper trail, but we can assume she moved to Virginia since this is where the murders have picked up. I can send her old address over, but it seems like the house was demolished."

"Anything of interest on her?" Dave questions, but I can barely pay attention to the conversation. The only person in common with every murder is my girlfriend, the sweetest and kindest person I know. I trust her with everything, I trust her with Jack, how on earth could she be capable of murdering all these people?

"Sir, SIR!" I quickly snap back to reality.

"Sorry, my phone cut out, what did you say Garcia?" I quickly say, not wanting to be questioned on why I was so quiet.

"Well, sir, she basically has no criminal record at all, she actually won quite a few awards back in her hometown, and you guessed it, they were for art. Her drawings are actually pretty cool, like I would totally buy a book of her art... Sorry I'm getting off topic.

She was academically above average, and had quite the talent with computers. She got a lot of job offers when graduating high school but decided to go to university, which landed her even more job offers. She could've gone pretty much anywhere, but decided on being a courtroom reporter. I called some of her contacts, they say that she stays in contact with them but that they don't know where she is, they also only have good things to say.

Many people all say she is really kind, that she was the one to protect kids from getting bullied, she was the emotional support person for everyone, and she also apparently had a stubborn streak, she got into a few fights during high school, none of which she initiated, but all of which she most definitely finished." Garcia states.

I feel like I've been listening to the exact description of Y/n, and I can't help but want to run to her and cry over what is going on. I suck it up, I can't say anything, we're not even sure she is the murderer.

"That's great, thank you Garcia." She immediately ends her call and that leaves just me and Dave.

"Dave, I want you to go around to the courthouse she worked at, meet and talk to everyone who knew her, friends, family, colleagues, I don't care, I want to know everyone she has contacted and exactly what she's said." I state, I need to keep them busy, at least until I can talk to Y/n.

"Alright." I hung up the call and looked at Emily. I don't know how I can lie to her, she was here and probably saw my response to hearing my girlfriend being labeled as the suspect.

"Emily I--"

"No, go. I don't know what is going on, and I don't want to know what is going on. I'll come up with an excuse, you clearly have some things you need to sort out." She states, not allowing me the chance to respond before she leaves the house.

I need to get home, Y/n needs to explain exactly what the hell is going on.

Luckily Prentiss left with an officer back to the department, I quickly jumped in the car and drove to our home. Jack shouldn't be home for another hour, I think I'll just call Jessica again, hopefully she won't mind.

"Hey Jess."

"Hey Aaron, what do you need?" I release a sigh at her response, she doesn't sound annoyed, just like she expected this call.

"I'm really sorry, but Y/n and I really need to have a serious talk and I don't want Jack to be home when it happens."

"Alright, but I thought you were working a case?" Jess replies in a confused voice.

"This has to do with the case." I can practically sense her clenching the phone tighter in confusion and worry.

"Aaron, what's going on, is Y/n in danger?"

"I--I can't tell you, I'm sorry Jess." I can't tell Jess, I can't tell her that Y/n may be the unsub and that I am contemplating letting her escape.

"...Okay, just call me when I should drop Jack off at home. Y/n better be fine after all this, she's become like a sister to me and a mother to Jack, and it seems she has become everything to you." I feel my eyes water knowing that as soon as I get home I need to make a decision.

"Thank you Jess, I'll call you when you should drop off Jack." I hang up the phone, I'm in my neighborhood now, and I can see our house quickly approaching. Her little Lotus Sprint parked in the driveway, the lights in the house on. I swallow harshly as I park in our driveway, I've made my decision.

———————

Y/n's POV:

I'm getting things out of the cabinet to make for dinner. Jess should be dropping Jack off in about an hour, so that should give me enough time, I'll have to wait a little while until I can go after my latest target. My thoughts get cut off as I hear the front door being unlocked and pushed open, I grab a knife from the drawer before glancing around the kitchen corner and into the hallway.

I am pleasantly surprised to see Aaron home early, tossing the knife onto the counter as I walk up and hug him.

"You didn't tell me you were coming home early, I would've made dinner sooner." I say happily as I look up at him, but my smile quickly falters when I see the expression on his face. Mine turns into worry as I see the faintest sign of tears in his eyes. Not sure what caused this, I immediately think he had a really tough case.

"What is it Aar, was it a tough case?" I ask, holding both of his arms, but he backs up away from my embrace. I'm really confused now, I don't know what to do, he's never been like this, even after some really tough cases.

"Why did you do it?" He finally asks, his voice gruff with emotion

"..." I don't know how to respond, I don't even know what he's asking.

"WHY DID YOU DO IT!" He shouts, I feel myself jump in surprise and fear, I hate being yelled at, especially after my first relationship.

"What are you talking about?" My voice is quiet, I'm scared, but I try not to be, Aaron would never hurt me. I back up subconsciously, but he reaches out and grabs my wrists tightly, yanking me forward. I stumble and nearly fall, but he drags me up and back onto my feet.

Tears are clouding my vision, does he think I cheated on him, did I do something wrong? I'm so confused, and the way he's treating me is giving me some serious flashbacks.

"Why did you kill all those people?" His tone is calm, almost deceivingly calm, I keep my head turned away and my eyes to the ground, my stomach drops as I hear those words. My body is now cowering away, the only way I know to respond is to shy away and that is kind of hard to do right now.

My hands are shaking, and my breathing is becoming excessively shallow. I feel like I'm gasping for air, but I can never get enough.

———————

Aaron Hotchner's POV:

She looked like she was trying to lower her body to the ground, like her body was trying to shrink into the background. I remember when I came into our house I was only sad and confused, but it suddenly turned into anger, rage at what she had done and how she could throw away the life she had with me.

I wasn't able to control it all, I had never hurt her before, and seeing her cowering form being held up only by my tight grip on her wrists snapped me out of my angry haze.

I almost let go of her, but she would've fallen straight to the ground, instead I loosen my hold on her wrists, and gently lower us both to the ground, from the looks of it she's hyperventilating. I gently let go of her wrists, which she quickly pulls into her, like she is trying to disappear, she lowers her torso over her bent legs, trying to back away from me.

"Y/n, I-I'm sorry." I was already broken over what she had done, the last thing I wanted to do was make her scared that I would hurt her. I try to reach out to her, but she just tries to back up even more. I don't know what else to do, I can't leave her here alone, but I don't know how to comfort her, hesitantly I slide my hand gently over the floor.

She lifts her face up to look at my hand, I catch a glimpse of her tear stained cheeks, her eyes are flooded with tears, and they hold a glint of fear when she looks at my hand.

———————

Y/n's POV:

I never expected to feel betrayed by Aaron, but then again, I guess I am the one who betrayed him. His hand looks so annoyingly welcoming, but I don't know anymore, my wrists still sting from where he grabbed them.

I slowly look up from his hand to meet his eyes, they hold regret and fear, they still maintain a warmth that never fails to make me feel loved.

Hesitantly, I place my shaking hand into his, feeling a sudden burst of dread that he'll hurt me again, but that thought is quickly forgotten when he gently squeezes my hand to comfort me. My breathing is still uneven, but this gesture is really helping calm me down.

I simply stare at our hands, this is probably the last semblance of normalcy I'll ever have, Aaron will have to turn me in, it's his job, and I would never ask him to let me escape, that could ruin his career. Thinking about the life I have here, more tears resurface, I try to hold in my cries, but the thought of leaving Aaron and Jack alone is physically and mentally tearing me apart.

"I-I'm sorry." Is all I can manage to say through my tears, I look away, feeling disgusted with myself. I try to pull away, but instead feel myself being pulled toward him; I don't struggle, I fully expect him to cuff me while he has the chance, but I am pleasantly met with a warm embrace, one that speaks a million words.

I am forgiven.

[under-sedationnn]

the arcana: main six reacting to injured! reader

anonymous: Could u do m6 reacting to mc coming home injured? I want some hurt/comfort >:))

Warnings: talk of being injured, blood. if that bothers you or tiggers you in anyway, please scroll away! i want this to be a safe place, only :)

thanks for the request anon!! i hope you enjoy!! <3 requests for the kissing prompts and physical affection prompts are STILL OPEN. please send them in with the character of your choice (which could be any character from any series i write for) and i will create an imagine!! thanks and happy reading!!

- tries his very very best to stay calm

- you can see panic bubbling under the surface

- faust is on high alert

- slithers around your shoulders and squeezes you for a hug

- "friend! hurt!"

- doesn't immediately ask what happened, just gets you to a comfortable place to be cleaned up

- then, and only then, will he brave to ask what happened to you

- or who did this to you

- wipes the blood from your skin with very gentle swipes

- winces when you wince, and apologizes profoundly

- "Y/n, how did this happen? i thought you were just taking a quick trip to the market."

- "i fell in the market, tripped over a stone"

- "and nobody helped you?"

- in this case he's disappointed with the bystanders, but does not become angry

- in a situation where someone hurt you?

- oh god

- "Y/n, how did this happen? i thought you were just taking a quick trip to the market."

- "yeah, well, somebody had their eye on the same apple i picked up. somehow, though, they managed to push me to the ground and steal it from my hands."

- i don't even think he would know what to say

- and asra is not really the type to march out into the streets of vesuvia and seek to challenge the one who hurt you

- but he would certainly hold a grudge against whoever it was if he did find out

- and would feel absolutely awful about letting you get hurt

- his mind would race about the possibility of losing you again

- because he simply can't handle it

- and what if that person had been particularly violent or malicious? what if you had been taken??

- you'd have to comfort the hell out of him to make sure he knows that you're okay

- "asra, hey, i'm fine! i can handle myself, you know that"

- "you're right, and i know you're right. it's just hard"

- "it's still hard for me, too. the market still makes me a little nervous and i got caught a little off guard, is all"

- that would make him feel better

- would finish patching up your wounds and would make sure to bring you to julian the next day if they were too bad for him to fix or needed stitches

- would also create a special brew to help with the pain and ease you to sleep

- "why don't i go down to the market tomorrow?"

- "why? so when you pick a fight over apples, i can pay you back for all of this high quality medical treatment?"

- "well of course, surely you didn't expect all this tender love and care to be free" *wink*

- panicked doctor mode enabled

- immediately begins checking you over, asking questions

- something tells me it would be a head injury of some sort

- "oh darling, what happe- you're bleeding!"

- "julian, i'm okay! it's just a little scratch"

- "no no no you might need stitches, come sit down. i'll go get my kit!"

- there's really no use in arguing

- he has cold ass hands, so he tries to warm them up before he begins suturing the wound

- tries to be gentle, and his expert hands move quickly without any snagging

- "so, how did this happen?"

- his voice is literally trembling

- "well, i was in the clinic grabbing the list of ingredients we need for our next grocery trip and there was a puddle of... something on the floor. i slipped and hit my head on the corner of your desk"

- immediately thinks it's his fault

- like "oh shit i should have cleaned better that could have killed y/n and then what would i have done-"

- doesn't necessarily voice this, but you can tell by the silence that follows that he's feeling really guilty

- would kneel for you, head on your knees

- "y/n, i am so sorry"

- "juli, it's really okay, i should have watched where i was going"

- "i'll make sure to clean better from now on, okay?"

- would guard you throughout the night in case of concussion

- nurse juli <3

- but let's say someone had put their hands on you

- would patch you up the same way, and apologize profusely for not being there with you

- tuck you into bed and fetch mazelinka to keep an eye on you throughout the night incase of a concussion

- would most definitely be self destructive and seek that mf out

- maybe not successfully, but would try his hardest

- "i'll be back in the morning, get some rest"

- "I can find them myself if I want to, you know"

- embarrassed blush

- because he KNOWS you can take care of yourself

- "of course, but right now you're hurt. as your partner, i will do what must be done on your behalf darling"

- probably shows up the following morning with battle scars of his own

- the guards found you in the garden, passed out in the maze

- blood trickled down your arm, a large gash marking your bicep

- ran you up to the palace and immediately to the medical wing

- them]n nadia gets word

- the calm, collected queen act disappears

- abandons anything she's doing, anybody she's talking to

- "we will finish this at a different time, i have more important matters to attend to"

- she is so worried and it's honestly adorable

- very much giving "where tf are they?" energy

- god i love her so much

- anyways um

- asks the nurses over and over what happened, if you're okay, etc.

- watches the physicians and nurses like a hawk as they clean the wound and suture the cut

- and they're so intimidated lmao they never come face to face with her literally ever

- brushes your hair back from your face as they do so

- holds your hands

- would demand that you be brought to her sleeping chamber

- so that's where you wake up! how cute

- she's laying beside you, her brows furrowed

- maybe even her eyes are a little hazy

- "y/n, sweetheart, do you remember what happened?"

- patiently waits for your answer, you're still a little groggy

- you were either attacked by an animal and passed out from the fright

- or you were attacked by an armed person and was knocked out

- either way, the guards are on it

- nadia isn't letting whoever or whatever did this get away without a fight

- the palace is meant to be a safe haven for you

- for the both of you

- "well, don't you worry, we'll take care of that"

- you try to sit up but she won't let you

- "oh no, you must stay down, y/n. you are possibly concussed from the fall"

- "oh okay, sorry"

- "is there anything i can get you?"

- the countess of vesuvia, serving you in your time of need

- "just some water would be nice"

- "of course, i'll have some brought up right away"

- i literally feel like he would just start crying straight up

- cause like he has some problems anyway

- he big sad boi

- and you coming home to the hut bleeding from a gash in the arch of your foot is not helping

- picks you and carries you to the bed without a word

- just starts examining the cut

- inanna is also very concerned

- she licks the blood from the cut, she's trying to be helpful

- meanwhile muriel is stumbling around the hut looking for anything to stop the bleeding, disinfect it, bandage it, anything

- but he's not the best about keeping that stuff in stock

- keeps looking back at you with worry in his eyes

- he doesn't know what to do

- "muriel, let me see if i can contact asra. maybe he or julian can bring me a salve. i'm pretty sure i'm gonna need stitches"

- low-key makes him feel worse

- cause he feels like he's unable to care for you and keep your safe

- even tho this was just an accident

- he's breathing really fast, his anxiety creeping

- agrees anyway, but goes to get them himself

- "i'll be back soon, just keep this piece of cloth pressed against it"

- cause you're bleeding like a lot

- inanna stays behind

- he returns very quickly with julian in tow, though he doesn't look happy about it

- leaves the hut without another word

- julian gets to work immediately

- "so, you cut your foot i see"

- smartass.

- "yeah, muriel always tells me to put on shoes when i walk in the woods but i love to feel the grass beneath my feet"

- julian chuckled at this

- "and i'm assuming you, what, stepped on a rock?"

- "...yeah, sliced it right open"

- after julian is done cleaning up the cut, he tells you to just stay off of it for a while and make sure it doesn't get infected

- once he's gone, muriel trudges back into the hut

- "muriel, baby, it was just a cut it's not a big deal"

- but his eyes look hurt, and you beckon him toward the bed

- "hey," your hands on his cheeks, "i'm okay, really"

- "sorry, i just got scared. blood is still a trigger for me and since you got hurt in my woods, i felt like it was my fault"

- "muriel, of course it wasn't your fault"

- he really needed a hug

- after this instance, he made sure to keep medical supplies in the hut and you promised to try and wear shoes in the woods more often than not

- "i'll try my best to be more careful. deal?"

- sweet lil smile

- "deal."

- "oh my god, y/n, what the hell happened??"

- you were tending the garden

- without her supervision

- and the garden sheers might have sliced into the palm of your hand

- deep

- brings you over to the sink and runs water over the cut, covering it with a towel when the dripping blood had been washed away

- girl is on the move

- cause she knows what to do! love that

- low-key a main reason why julian managed to live as long as he has

- pepi is curiously perched atop one of the counters, peering down

- finds her personal first aid kit she had stashed in the bathroom

- guides you over to sit on the counter while she tries to figure out what to do

- "damn, you really cut yourself, y/n"

- "sorry! i think i just got a little carried away"

- she giggles at that, though she is still worried about the fact that it won't stop bleeding

- gently wraps the cut in gauze and adheres it together

- places a kiss to your fingertips

- "all done! no more gardening for you!"

- "hey, why not?"

- "well you don't want that cut to open back up again and again, do you?"

- "no"

- "alright then," she smiled, moving to put away the first aid kit again, "and we're going up to the palace medical wing first thing tomorrow morning to make sure it's not infected"

- eye roll

- "yes ma'am" you mocked

- even though you know it's just because she loves you

- "but since you got hurt, you want me to bake you some cookies?"

- "only if you let me eat the dough!"

- good god do i love this man

- but he is so self-absorbed it's actually insane

- and I feel like he wouldn't even notice at first

- cause he's too focused on himself

- gazing into the mirror without a care in the world when you walked in

- "y/n, thank goodness you're home, how do you feel about these pants?"

- you just hobbled to the nearest seat, hand resting over the gash on your knee

- mercedes and melchior were lazing across a rug at the base of his mirror, their attention set on you

- "u-um, yeah, they look good"

- literally just trying not to bleed out, over here

- "good? oh really, now, y/n don't they look amazing?"

- "yes, they look ama- ow, damnit"

- then he turned around

- immediate shock and worry! oh no oh no y/n is hurt!

- mercedes and melchior walked over first, whining as they took in the cut, brushing around the edges

- lucio raced over, squatting down in front of you, and began examining the cut

- "hey, hey, what happened?"

- "i accidentally tripped on my walk in the garden and scraped my knee on the cobblestone"

- he was lightly touching around the cut, gauging how sensitive it was

- when you flinched he stopped, looking into your eyes with a soft "sorry"

- "i think i need to go to the palace infirmary"

- "oh there's no need, i can take care of you!"

- you were not convinced he could take care of you, at least not well

- "uh, lucio, are you sure?"

- he looked slightly offended, at that

- "you know, y/n, i did fight in battles at one point. i have not only tended to my own wounds, but the wounds of others, as well"

- you giggled at the thought

- "much to your protest, though, i'm sure"

- he moved to the small cabinet of medical supplies in the ensuite to your bedroom, returning to your side with it in hand

- "at points, but i don't mind helping you in the slightest"

- for all of his antics, his soft side was enough to make you fall in love all over again

- and although i know he would take care of you in literally any situation, i can't say for certainty that he would stick around and place nurse lucio for long if a person had hurt you

- attacked you

- much like nadia, the guards would be sent out without a second thought, lucio leading the pack in the search for you aggressor