#HOLY FUCK ALEX THIS IS SUPER SILLY BUT--- I NEED TO MENTION IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND THIS

[mythvoiced]

@theimpalpable | the GBEP

If Samuel could will a hole into existence every time he so desperately needs one to just swallow him whole and drag him to the centre of the Earth, a coffin designed perfectly for the kind of messes he's been creating all around this already doomed planet, he'd have turned said doomed planet into the oddest piece of Swiss Cheese ever come into existence.

Which is either a very funny thought or he's bordering on succumbing to the hysterics curling his lips into that odd smile he can't shake off his lips, no matter how inappropriate it feels to wear.

His hands are pressed into his face, eyes freed still and staring at nothing at all, his fingers buried into the beginnings of his hair, messing what is already pretty messy on its own.

This is a nightmare. He hardly has the mental capacity necessary to recognize the possible and very likely implications and ramifications of the creatures he set out into the world, the slow march of decay swaggering about along the bottom of the ocean; being sat directly next to the direct consequences of his actions isn't any easier to stomach as a result, in fact, he's pretty certain that his desiring this to be a dream is teetering dangerously close to him starting to convince himself it is a dream.

Which, of course, would be violently useful.

A psychotic break in the middle of a bar next to a guy who's life he's ruining.

He groans, hands moving to slide over his face, rub into his eyes until he sees stars and begs them to come down upon him like vengeful angels and strike him off the face of the planet. Maybe that would do it. Maybe his death would kill everything he's created along with him, kind of like... killing the sire of a vampire...

"The Sazerac, please," Samuel manages to interject pathetically, which he assumes is not the tone of voice bartenders prefer out of their clients in terms of who they decide to serve and who they'd rather see out of their establishment in the next few 'immediately please'. Samuel has never been refused service before, never thrown enough back to give any barkeep reason to, never crumbled in public in a way obvious enough that it leaves any impression.

But, then again, he's also never half-assed a plot outline and have it lead to meeting the guy said plot outline had forced into itself, perhaps in a weird attempt on the universe's part to fix what he can't, to finally be the author he should be.

Oh, great, an existential crisis on top of the 'supernatural' crisis.

Samuel looks up when the barkeep returns with a glass and doesn't even have the energy to pretend he's surprised when it turns out to be water. He sighs, curses his existence with the exhausted resignation of someone who's given up on trusting in self-curses, and grabs the glass.

He manages a wry smile, charming and handsome, that the stranger is, which is perhaps part of the reason he'd fit so fucking well into the kind of story Samuel had attempted to emulate. Clichés upon clichés, all he'd managed to scratch together, who doesn't love a good explorer story and a Nathan Drake to charm anyone who'd swoon at the easy smile and easy wit?

If anything, Samuel is slowly becoming self-deprecatingly surprised he hadn't realized the moment the stranger had turned his head his way, that this is who he'd been looking for.

He'd tried to find something new to add, something fresh to add to the genre, something to stand out with, and that's precisely while it's now half-deceased and half-abandoned somewhere in a pile of notes with stories just like it.

He hadn't come up with anything that would have made it worth reading above others just like it.

"No, I... I don't think you'll die," Samuel finds himself uttering back, an open-mouthed drag of his mouth to one side to put emphasis on the word 'die', all while he unconsciously peeks over the stranger's arm to watch his sketch unfold. Oh. He can draw, too, he muses, subconsciously adjusting the glasses he sees reflected on the paper.

Charming, handsome, creative, extroverted, makes easy conversations and commands a scenario without ever making Samuel feel like he's backed into a corner by a personality much louder than his own. A guy, friendly, but not overly so.

Samuel has no idea if the plot chose him because who wouldn't fancy a heartthrob protagonist like that - which is honestly just embarrassing to admit - or because if Samuel could pay money to have any of those qualities...

The usual. Is he hot or do I just really, really wish I were him?

Samuel takes a big sip of his water.

He's loosing his goddamn mind.

He's hoping he won't die. He had briefly considered... perhaps a good way to stand out would be to... just...

He slams his hand onto the stranger's arm, eyes blown wide in a frantic panic to fix something he can't fix and prevent something not even happening yet. "Can I have your number?"

He gives himself a few seconds of sirens blaring in his ears before he connects the dots of how he sounds and recoils, only to lurch forward again, an odd dissonance of pulling away, but not appearing... what? Exactly? Damn the bartender for refusing him that drink.

"Not- not like that, wait- uhm, I'm Samuel, hi, nice to meet you, do you think we could...? As in, I would like to help. I think I might be able to- I think you might need my help- this will sound ridiculous, do--?"

He closes his eyes, counts to ten, hates himself a little more, opens them again with an exhale.

"I think I'm partly or mostly to blame for your situation but the reason why I believe that will make me sound insane. But I... need you to believe me and I think... listen, can we talk somewhere else? Maybe...? Or... some other time? Or...?"

[clumsyclifford]

bella I would love a directors cut on literally any of the rilex you’ve written, but specifically it’s always her, and you, and me, or for these days you’ve been stuck in my brain 💙

OHHHHHH those are some CHOICESSSSSS lucy. fuck yeah. let’s get into it. ill link them both here but we’ll take em one at a time

it’s always her, and me, you

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

here’s a cut for convenience cos i KNOW i’m gonna go long here.

okay! let’s start with the rilisex fic.

it’s always her, and me, and you

so like it says in the ao3 notes, this fic came from realizing just how frequently rian and alex kiss each other like, all the time? just? casually? for funsies? this was another one of those situations like i mentioned where the hook aka first line (“Rian's no expert, but he doesn't think normal friends kiss this much.”) just appeared in my head and i was like heyyy that’s a GOOD first line. i have to build from that line. that’s the hook, that’s the summary, that’s the core. 

something i discovered upon searching through the editing history of the doc: i had originally sort of intended to go a direction with this where in some other circumstance, rian would see alex giving jack a super casual friendly kiss and he’d get all sad/jealous and be like sure why SHOULDNT alex kiss jack after all its just a thing he does with his FRIENDS. but the fic ended up going a different way and honestly? im glad. i like this way better.

the role of singin in the rain in this fic actually has a HILARIOUS backstory because the night i originally wrote that conversation in the tour bus kitchen, i went into the club and said the following

and then. the next day. rian streamed with ricky, and i asked if he’d ever seen singin in the rain, and he ANSWERED ME and said he hadn’t. so first of all i had already written the scene and i then had to rewrite it to make it so rian wouldn’t have seen it but also!!! i literally asked rian fucking dawson if he’d seen a movie for the sole reason of using that information for fanfiction!!!! and he provided me with the information i needed!!!! whole thing is just fucking hysterical to me. ANYWAY.

ANYWAY, the other reason why sitr has such a big role in the fic is because megs and i watched the movie together while i was in the middle of working on the fic, so it was extremely fresh in my mind. in fact i can probably show you this: i had this comment left for myself when i was kind of trying to figure out if i could make a real metaphor of sorts with the sitr ot3 and the Big Three of this fic. some of this ended up in rian’s wild musings in the hotel scene but i did conclude that it wouldn’t really have worked and that was definitely true but anyway. fuck it, director’s cut, here’s the kind of shit i leave for myself to refer to

so that’s part of the reason why it became such a puzzle piece of this fic, but real talk, it’s also just because i love singin in the rain it’s one of my favorite movies lmao

briefly gonna also touch on lisa and why she’s in this fic because i realize that rian/alex/lisa is an interesting approach to rilex! first of all, i love lisa. i love alex and lisa. and it occurred to me that there was really no reason to split lisex up just to make rilex happen. plus there’s this tweet that really just pushed me over the edge of being like yeah, rilisex is extremely plausible. so that’s that on that.

as for the scene in the hotel room while they’re watching sitr, there is a small piece of that scene - from when alex starts kissing rian’s shoulders etc to “it would defy the laws of nature not to” - that i actually wrote before anything else in that scene. that small piece got stretched out and edited quite a bit from how it started but it did function as a sort of foundation around which i built the rest of the scene, because that small section sort of ~came to me~ absolutely out of nowhere, and i really liked the Vibe it had and i wanted to include it. i THINK that was the only piece of this fic that i wrote Out Of Order - for the most part this was written chronologically.

ALSO!!! omg this is exciting, this fic actually has a deleted scene!!!!!! i hate cutting scenes but i also hate having scenes that are less than 1k and this one didn’t really contribute much to the fic. i can probably share it here right? sure why not ! hopefully you can read this. it originally took place after the scene where alex and rian call lisa for the first time. the question of “what gets left into interview videos and what gets cut” is also just interesting to me as a (fic) concept in general so...eyes emoji, but here’s my mini-exploration that i cut from the original fic. enjoy lol it’s silly <3

oh! also one more thing!! the very final scene was included for two reasons. the first reason being that when i write getting-together fics, i really prefer to add on a scene After they Get Together because i love to write domestic established relationship stuff and i think that’s a satisfying reward for a reader who’s just slogged through all the mutual pining and bullshit to get the characters together. but the OTHER reason is that i got an anon (here it is!) and i read that ask and was immediately like well shit. now i have to fucking include this. for the anon and for myself. so you can thank that anon for that last scene. (also i wanted to include merrikat especially since i had to cut their little moment in the interview scene above.)

so....................whew. i think i’ve bled that fic dry. holy shit that’s a lot of Stuff. OKAY! let’s move on.

~

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

so!!! THIS fic was the breakthrough after (what felt like) a long bout of writer’s block. long for me was maybe two weeks, but i am the kind of person who is always writing, and two weeks was a long time to go with little to no inspiration/motivation to write anything. i had also been in a weird narrative headspace because i’d been binge-watching disney shows (jessie > austin and ally > girl meets world) and i don’t know how well i can explain this but the way those shows are written is a lot snappier and cares way less for realistic and consistent character development or plots or relationships, and so i was stuck between caring a lot about including those things in my fics but also being unable to conceptualize them in writing because my brain was in Disney Writing Mode. does that make sense? this is rhetorical so let’s go with yes. so anyway. i was in a slump

actually what i ended up doing was basically googling something like “au prompts tumblr” or something and just scrolling through posts. i saw something about soulmate telepathy and i actually tried to write something totally different before i wrote this one, but the first attempt was a different concept and then the direction i took it was like......it wasn’t quite right and i realized that i was kind of writing dark disney style? there is really no way for me to explain what i mean by that because it seems really obvious to me but that’s just because i’m inside my own head so just take my word. 

anyway. attempt #1 of soulmate telepathy rilex went poorly, and this fic was attempt #2. i kinda took the soulmate telepathy thing and changed it as i saw fit and i also went back to skim helen’s telepathy fic because obviously she’s the pro and then i tried not to steal her ideas. and as i was writing it i kinda realized i was doing the whole quirky funny best friend character with jack and also doing the whole “somehow this not-very-dramatic situation with teenagers is treated as The Most Dramatic Thing Ever and that’s totally normal and nobody finds it strange” disney trope with rian and alex being soulmates and i was like (deep sigh) i have to accept that no matter how much i try to fight this, this fic is going to be tainted with disney. and that’s life

on top of that i will add that the real-life rilex were extremely inspiring during the two-day period during which i wrote this fic, because that was when the once in a lifetime video came out and in the brief pre-video livestream rilex were Beyond Married and that definitely helped in the writing of fic rilex!

hmmmm what can i tell you about this fic itself.................honestly, i don’t think there’s much to tell! rian is a band kid because in real life rian was a band kid and he’s staff manager at rita’s just like he was in real life. there is truthfully not a lot to unpack here that i can think of!

oh here’s something i guess: rian and alex go on a date in this fic! that is because watching So Much Disney made me realize that i often forget the fact that people just. go on dates. sometimes. look i clearly do not have an active romantic life but i also really liked the idea of alex and rian going on a date despite not knowing if they’d be soulmates or not and liking each other organically just by getting to know each other, rather than being victim to the whole soulmate thing. like i wanted them to build a connection so that they would want to be soulmates. and then the audience would want that for them too. stakes!! very important.

i can tell you i had a mild crisis over the title of the fic because i am not a fan of the word brain and i didnt wanna use that sticky lyric for the title when it had a word i hated but it was objectively a much better title option than the other one i had, which was “sticky just like the song in my head�� but i obviously decided on the former and it has not upset me nearly as much as i expected it to so that was the right decision imo

so! i think that’s all on that! sorry (?) that it got so long although then again i don’t know what’s to be expected in a director’s cut for two long fics but thank you for asking me about these, i love them both so very much rilex is so supremely underrated but so very important

[poppyssupergirl]

If You're Uselessly In Love With Your Best Friend, Clap Your Hands *Vigorous Clapping*

EDIT: Thank you @the-queen-of-the-light for betaing this, I very much appreciate your spelling ability and face!!!!

This is a super dumb bday fic for a super stellar human being!!!! @battenthecrosshatches Happy Birthday!!!!!! I hope you had every fun and did all the good stuff!!!! 

And I hope you enjoy this ridiculously silly fic XD

Reaaaaaaad the whole thing on AO3 because I’m lazy and dun wanna format it herrrre

She gets the call at 6:53 pm on a Tuesday. She’s just finished a contracting deal for the construction of a new lab and she could really use more than one drink. So when she sees “Kara Danvers <3” pop up on her phone screen, she picks up while relief tingles through her shoulders.

“Kara, hi, wha-”

“Lena, I need you to be my date to this party.”

The tingles spread from her shoulders to the entirety of her body. Her face flushes and she’s about to open her mouth to most-certainly protest because Kara hasn’t even mentioned wanting more let alone going outside together around camera!

“Because normally, I would force Alex to be my date,”

What?

“but these people know that Alex is my sister and it’s a couple’s only event and Lennaaaaaa,”

Oh no.

“there’s an all-you-can-eat-buffet that’s supposed to be made by five-star chefs and I can’t not go!”

Of course.

The tingles settle heavily in her feet and all she wants to do is sleep for roughly five hundred years.

“Please say you’ll go! You get free food and I’ll let you choose the movie at our next movie night!”

That’s kind of tempting, at least she wouldn’t have to sit through another musical. And she could finally force Kara to watch the Vietnam documentary series from the BBC… hmm.

“I don’t know, Kara, I’m finishing up a contract right now and-”

“I’ll go to that kale place with you.”

“Deal.”

Fantastic. Kale-itopia has been open for five weeks and she still hasn’t gone. She can’t just go alone though, and Sam’s already turned her down about eighteen times. She’s going to get a kale smoothie, kale chips, kale hummus… hopefully she can get that in takeaway containers…

“Awesome! The party’s this Friday, I’ll come and pick you up at seven pm. It’s really nice evening-wear attire, too.”

She’s going to have to change a meeting around and find something to wear but yeah, yeah, she can do this.

“That’s fine, I’ll see you Friday.”

Yes, the video conference with the Japanese site can be scheduled for Sunday, instead. Jess can handle the details and the-

“Thank you so much, Lena! I love you, bye!”

The call disconnects and she loves Lena. Loves Lena and they’re going as a couple. Will Kara kiss her cheek like two Thursdays ago? Oh god, what is she going to wear? What is Kara going to wear? What if Kara wears that backless dress?

The one with that accentuates every muscle in her entire body. The one that definitively proved that she was the extraterrestrial commonly referred to as Lena’s only other friend in National City because no mere mortal could get definition like that.

She won’t ruin their friendship, she won’t ruin their friendship by staring at her shoulders and imagining flying during life-threatening emergencies or sun-tanned skin on a beach or -

A text blinks through and it’s from “Kara Danvers <3” and all the tinglies come back which is weird and illogical and why are hormones even like this?

The text reads: “This is what I’m wearing if you want to match <3”

Of course she wants to match, she wants Kara Danvers to take her arm and whisk her into a poorly planned weddi-

Holy god.

There is no way a straight woman would wear that. There’s no way. It can’t happen. The universe has to have some form of justice, right?

Fuck.

Read the rest on AO3

[sweetlittlehawke]

Keep Moving Forward

It’s December. Yknow what that means! Let’s reflect on the year. When I made  a post like this last year, it was a hopeful thing. I was excited about the coming year, because I was excited that I’d finally met some people I could hang out with. I love Alea and Brooke to the moon and back, but only having two friends for most of my life is not the best. As much as I denied it for years, my mum’s right. I’m very social. I have social anxiety. But I am a very social person. So, if you wanna read about all that, it’s under a read more. Cause fucking hell did this get long.

So, this year started and I was single, I was in Unity, I was in school, and I was living with my parents. By May I was not single and I was not in Unity. Shortly after that- because end of the semester and stuff and things happening- I was no longer in school or living with my parents. At this point in the year, I’m still not single, nor in Unity (as I doubt I’ll ever go back. To the troupe at least, I absolutely wanna go back to taking classes), or in school. But I have plans to go back to school. I’m halfway to being able to afford a car, and then saving for an apartment, so Sammy and I can go to Cleveland. Because I wanna be close to my friends. I don’t like most of the people I live with presently, and neither does Sam. So we’re gonna move out in July when the lease is up on our place. 

When I made this post last year, I talked about the only table top rpgs I’d played was a D&D 5e oneshot, a game of Roll for Shoes, and was just then stepping into a campaign. Needless to say, that changed. A lot. I’ve played West Marches to it’s end. I’ve been in Alex’s Pathfinder campaign for a year. I spent a semester in Andrew’s Pathfinder campaign (and met my girlfriend through that). I’ve spent two semesters in Jacob’s 5e campaign. I’ve started a campaign of my own at Breakout to get those people into D&D. I’ve gone so far with this, and I love it. I love every second of it. I also mentioned that I’d kinda started in Magic, but hadn’t put any money towards it. That didn’t last either. I’ve built my own custom deck, and that def required spending money. Once Andrew got me a starter deck it was downhill from there. I don’t play a ton, but Magic def did get my interest.

Last year I kinda just made lil shoutouts to Scott, Trevi, and Andrew. But this year I have so many more people to talk about, and to be thankful for. Because they’re not just new people that I’m kinda sorta friends with. They’re my family. So lemme go through this. Lemme take a bit, to talk about this gaggle of people I’ve found, that I love. 

It’s primarily the Pathfinder group. The original Pathfinder group. Alex, Jacob, Andrew, Thomas, Susannah, Molly, and Will. Most of these people are also the people in West Marches, but there are some West Marches people that aren’t in Pathfinder. People like Joey and Adriana, Freddie, Michael, and of course, Trevi and Scott. Now, to go into detail about the specific people, and why I love them.

Alex is just, great. I don’t always feel like I’m super close with him, but he does pay attention to everyone in the group. We recently had a session that really hit that fact home. It was a Christmas session, because it’s December what else are we gonna do? Each of our characters had gifts, and these gifts meant something to each of us. Outside of games though, he’s just as attentive. He’s always supportive, and very understanding of when people need distance or aid. He’s encouraging, and frankly I’m not sure I’ve ever heard him say something bad against anyone. Ambiguous maybe, but never bad.

Jacob- fucking hell this guy. He’s literally the sweetest man I’ve ever met. He’s always trying to help, and encourage people. If he knows he’s done something wrong he apologizes and does whatever it takes to fix it. He knows I’m short on money, so whenever I’m around he’s always offering to buy me food- or just straight up give me his food. He even bought Sammy’s Christmas present for me, because I’m just too broke to do it. I don’t understand how someone can be that selfless?? Jacob wtf?? You’re too good??

Andrew. What an asshole. I love him though. He- quite frankly- is half the reason I’m so close with the Pathfinder group. I befriended him easier than I befriended the others. He’s the one that got me into Pathfinder. At first he seems quiet, and kinda apathetic, he’s incredibly forgetful. But he cares. I got scared one time that I’d fucked up a friendship, and in his awkward Andrew way, he gave me 3 Magic cards and a hug as comfort. It may not sound like much, but giving away Magic cards is a big deal for Andrew. This nerd is also the reason I met my girlfriend, so yknow.

Admittedly, I’m not as close with Thomas as I am some of the others. His personality clashes with mine, so I don’t typically talk to him one on one. But he’s part of the group. We all poke fun at him, but we all poke fun at everyone. This family of ours wouldn’t be the same without him. It’d be too quiet.

Susannah is a darling. I haven’t seen her as much recently, because she dropped out of the Pathfinder campaign, and I haven’t been at school. But we still talk from time to time here on tumblr, or the very rare occasion we see each other on campus we always stop to give each other a hug and say hello. Because our friend group had a hellish spaghetti mess of relationships, and we had a good relationship through that. The guy I liked liked her, and it was kinda rough, but we just helped each other. Then when that spaghetti mess was over, and I was getting with Sammy, she was one of the people I’d text like “Holy shit Sam is so cute HELP”

Molly is the best. She- like Susannah- isn’t in Pathfinder this semester, so I haven’t seen her as much. But she had a similar position in the spaghetti mess but without being so tied to me. She just was right next to Susannah and was super supportive as well. She was the other person I texted about Sam. Cause group chats. I’d text her and Susannah together. But even though we don’t see each other a ton, we’re still close. Hell we’re looking at getting an apartment together next summer.

I really never think I’m that close to Will. He’s very quiet, and he’s not very affectionate, so it’s sometimes hard to tell if he actually likes being around people or he’s just dealing with us. But, after a year of being around him, I’m pretty sure he does actually like us. I think he’s just introverted. He doesn’t want to get in people’s way, so he sits to the side and is quiet. But also, his character in Pathfinder was 110% tryna get another PC laid and Will and Susannah both were willing to let me in on that. So, yeah, pretty sure Will is cool with me. We just have different ways of showing that.

Joey and Adriana I’ll talk about together, because I swear these two are inseparable. When I first met them I thought they were dating, but no they’re just very affectionate- and I can’t blame them for that. I’m the same way with Scott and Trevi. I’ve still not gotten to talk to them a ton, but the conversations I’ve had with them have been good. They seem very light hearted on the surface, just comparing ourselves to our characters, but really that says a lot about us. 

Freddie and Michael, I’ll also put together. Not because they’re together all the time, but because I have less to say about them. I don’t know either as well, but they’re both very warm people. It’s easy to become friends with these two. Freddie loves to rub my hair, cause of course half of it is shaved. Michael’s just akin to a ray of sunshine tbh. 

Trevi. Where do I even start? To just say you’re my friend isn’t enough. You’re more than that. You’re fun to be around and talk to, and dance with. You’re relatable and silly and serious and helpful and supportive. You’ve given me a place to sleep when I was too tired to go home. When you graduated I was terrified of you leaving, either going back home or going out to Cali to get a doctorate, cause I knew you’d talked about it. I didn’t wanna lose you. I’d just gotten to know you. Then you stayed here, and I’m glad. Cause you’re my friend and I love you. A couple weeks ago as you were leaving you signed “I love you”. You had your back turned but there was a window in front of you, so idk if you saw, but I signed it back. Cause I really do.

Now Scott. You sir, have literally changed my life. I would not have met most of the people I’ve talked about. I’d have met Trevi, but without D&D as a common ground, idk that we’d have ended up so close. So thank you, for introducing me to D&D. Thank you for being my DM. Because honestly, no matter how many DMs I have, no matter how great they are. You will always be my DM, because you were the first. And now, you’re graduating. You’re leaving school, and you’re going to Columbia. I’m gonna miss you. As selfish as it is, I don’t want you to leave. I’m glad you’re going to keep moving forward, as we all should. But fucking hell will I miss you. You’ve led me on adventures, fighting monsters and demons, I’ve made pacts with Eldritch gods and become War itself. So you go. You go, live your adventures. Write your stories and play your parts. Keep Moving Forward. But you better get your ass back here and visit from time to time okay? Cause I’m gonna miss you. I’m gonna miss your free hugs, and the meowing, and the hair ruffles, and hugs so tight I feel like you’re bout to crack a rib, and the games, and the stories, and just everything. I’m gonna miss you, and I love you.

This past year, and every one of the people I’ve mentioned have changed me. There’s more people I could talk about. Alea, and Brooke, and Tommy, and Sammy, and Tahli, and Sebastian, and Kenna. My actual family. My cousin and my best friend, who I don’t feel the need to write about, because duh I appreciate them. Duh I love them. Tommy and Sammy who’ve both had their own impacts. Who have both changed my life in their own ways. Then Tahli, Kenna, and Sebastian. My nieces and nephew. Tahli, who wormed her way into my heart in an instant, and got me to a place where I actually cared for the other two. Because for so long I shrugged at Kenna. She lives across the country she’s not gonna know me. But then when Sebastian came along, I was so used to Tahli and her reaction any time I walk in the door. Then Sebastian got hurt, and it wrecked me. Because no, he’s tiny, he’s fragile, this shouldn’t happen to a six month old baby. I was so scared to hold him at Thanksgiving because I didn’t want to hurt him. 

I just. I love my friends. I love that I can say that. Because two years ago I hardly had friends to love, and I certainly didn’t feel like they should love me back. Last year I had a few more friends, and I was feeling a bit better about myself. But this year I’ve realized. It’s not just that I have friends that I love. But that they love me just as much. During intermediate acting Abby called me a yankee candle, cause I apparently had a warm, homey, aura. I felt like that was weird, cause I’m so used to being Shadow. I’m used to being ignore, glanced over. But then suddenly, I have friends that won’t do that. Friends that pay attention and love me. I’m still not sure how to handle that, but I’m doing the best I can.