#Ive been thinking about this for like a week

[carbonfiction]

Dark Desires

older, best friends dad!Logan x reader

summary: a week ago you found yourself drunk texting your best friends dad; something that should've been a mistake, but you were sure in that drunken moment that Logan would know everything you'd kept from him all those years. You'd been thinking about it for longer than you'd care to admit; adding to the fantasy. so what happens when logan finally indulges you..

warnings: Swearing, dirty talk, F!Receiving oral, PIV smut, prone bone and missionary, Somnophilla (technically??), daddy kink, roleplay?? pussy sniffing?? Kind of voyeurism? But the person is very much asleep. Also tagging this for dubcon but it’s more pre established consent/free use and slight CNC vibes depending on how you view it? Tagged this the best i believe i can but ultimately you are responsible for your media consumption.

A/N: i don't know where this came from, other than i had a glass of wine and a naughty thought. i tried real hard on this and its a little darker than i usually write- not to mention longer- but i hope yall enjoy a filth filled piece of my intoxicated brain anyway. Et voilà.

Masterlist Words: little over 4k (oop- longest thing ive ever written.. i got carried away..)

Your heart is hammering away inside of your chest so insistently that it feels like your ribs are bruised and your breasts are trying to punch their way out of your dress.

You're still wearing the stupid thing and Laura is drinking another mimosa. Part of you is grateful for that. Yet while you want her drunk and snoring tonight, part of you can't help trying to stop her.

You make eye contact, give her the look. Tell her to slow down because you two have been down this road before. She gets wild, has fun for half an hour, and then spends the rest of the night dizzy in a bathroom asking deep philosophical questions like why do my eyes hurt? And why do guys suck? And do i still have puke in my hair?

But if she's drunk tonight, just enough to sleep like the dead, then what?

You set your own drink aside to check your phone for what feels like the hundredth time this hour and lift a shaky thumb to your texts.

You've read the thread again and again and again, and still you don't quite believe it. The party swirls around you. A hurricane of sound and the smell of cocktails is sour in your nose. You feel the heat of your friends, your fellow graduates. one day lawyers, doctors, professors, professionals in their field; and yet here you are reading over the texts again.

You feel like a little girl and yet simultaneously the most grown of women because you have a secret, a dirty little secret.

You were nearly as drunk as Laura is now when you sent the first text a week ago. You were celebrating the end of finals and you were curled up in bed after a long night out.

One of your other friends had flirted with the bartender. You'd told the girl to stop and Laura had reached from her stool and pinched your leg. Asking if you'd ever needed something so badly that you actually made a bad decision.

Everyone had laughed, all except you.

You know she was teasing and complimenting in the same breath. You're a good girl and everybody knows it. Reliable, honest and never involved with the wrong kind of guys.. Always a reason to why you were too busy to bother. You were studying, too busy hanging out with Laura. Too busy prepping for school, internships and the next two decades of your life.

You're no angel, although of course, no one was. You've had your share of regrettable hookups and disappointing boyfriends, but nothing that set your world alight. Nothing worth risking anything for.

But maybe what Laura had said thread under your skin more than you'd like to admit. Maybe you were just drunk enough to ignore the obvious risk.. Or was it that you'd been thinking about him for an indecently long amount of time?

So with finals over, diploma practically in hand. There was nothing preventing years of pent up lust from sending a jolt down between your legs, setting a crackling fire in your heart and making you sweat. Dripping down your neck, stomach, that spot on your lower back, they all tingled as you crouched on the corner of your bed and wrote a single text.

You: I need something.

You sent it. Had forced yourself to before you chickened out and immediately regretted it. You thought you'd worded it in such a way that you could play it off, pretend it didn't happen.

But you were sure in that drunken moment that Logan would read those three words and know everything you'd kept from him all those years. Every dirty thought, every horny fantasy, everything.

It was all right there in the text. 2am on a Thursday night and truly it could only mean one thing. You put the phone down, tried to make yourself go to sleep.

Logan was an older man with a life. A job, house and a child- your best friend- and you were sure he wouldn't even see the stupid thing until the morning when you could say you meant to message Laura. Not him, not her father. But then you picked up the phone again, half panicked and ready to change your mind, when you'd saw those little dots.

That meant he was writing something back, at 2am on a Thursday night, either in bed or his limo.

Logan: You need to go to sleep

Of course.. Responsible. That was the responsible thing to do. And you would do just that. But first you'd just write a quick text to apologize. Say it was the wrong number and sleep this off; pretend it didn't happen for the rest of your lives.

But.. what if, for once in your life, it could be easy? What if Logan did know everything? What if.. There was something else? Because that was how this all started, hadn't it?

You'd always felt something more, saw something different in his worn eyes, his gruff demeanor. Heard something he was saying when he really wasn't saying anything at all.

Or.. Was it all in your head? Was this only ever a one way infatuation? A young woman's crush, a dark fantasy that only grew darker with each new kink you discovered in yourself? Losing all confidence, you texted back.

You: sorry. Wrong number.

And that was that- or it should've been that- If it was only ever a one way street. You put the phone down, tried desperately to keep your eyes closed, but the moment you heard the phone buzz again you peek.

Logan: Is that true sweetheart?

Oh no, no. it wasn't true at all. You knew he knew exactly who'd texted and why; what you wanted him to do. You'd been thinking about it for years. Adding to the fantasy. Soaking your sheets in the middle of the night when you couldn't sleep, all that brought a temporary relief. If only for a little while; So, you text back.

You: No

Just that. A simple No.

Logan: You telling a lie?

You: Not exactly

Logan: So you wanted my attention then?

You: Wanted? No Logan.. Need.

And yes, you know need is a very strong word.

Logan: You feel very strongly about that huh? Strong feelings can be dangerous sweetheart.

You: what if i want something dangerous.

You answered back with the most honest thing you could say. And then there was a pause, a very long pause, in which you could see no dots, and even started to wonder if he'd abandoned you. Left you on read.

A thousand images erupted in your mind, different versions of him sitting and staring at your number- your words. Those cheap reading glasses perched on his nose as he wondered if this was some kind of game.

But if it was a game.. Logan was ready to play and after a few minutes your phone dings again.

Logan: you're being a real bad girl tonight, aren't you?

And then it wasn't your best friend's father you were texting. Well, it very much was- that was the crux of it, wasn't it? But now it was also the man. The man on the other side of the phone who was paying close attention.

You: Yes, daddy. very, very bad.

Now, In the darkness of his daughter's room, You imagine colors swirling on her ceiling. Your heart restless like a caged animal and there is a knot in your stomach twisting tighter and tighter by the second.

You don't know how long you've been lying here. 5 minutes or 5 hours. But you know you can't possibly wait another moment... But then you do, because you have to.

You haven't heard from Logan all day and that makes you afraid. Really genuinely afraid that He's forgotten or changed his mind.

Because, well, it's just you and Laura in here, isn't it? You're lying on the floor, a lumpy pillow under your head, and a spare, slightly musty blanket folded under your breasts.

Laura is snoring away in her bed, her limbs tangled with a stuffed animal almost the size of her- one you'd won her from a carnival. It was like old times, she slurred drunkenly. The three of you huddled together in her bed, giggling and watching some crappy reality show.

She'd tried to get you to join her and the animal in the bed, but you'd said no. Insisted that it was too hot tonight. That you'd rather be able to spread out on the floor. Fortunately, by the time you made it up to Laura's room, she was too far gone to argue.

Unfortunately, now though, there's a very drunk girl in her bed beside you, a possible witness to your depravity. And so you lie there, staring at the ceiling and forcing yourself not to text. Not to call. To just ignore the nagging doubt in your gut.

And yet again, you still find yourself opening the text thread. Reading through the things you told him, the things he'd told you. A formed plan and line after line of you promising things. All of the 'Yes, daddy I want this' the 'Please do that to me' The repetitive 'ill be a good girl, Promise' And then, at the very bottom, a safe word. It was when you'd agreed on the safe word that you knew this was for real. Not a fiction in a book or a fantasy playing out in a movie.

The word. Kitty. An inside joke from years ago. The word proof that all the little confidences and conversations held an attraction you were both willing to hide for the sake of decency

But.. you don't want to be decent anymore. You'd confided your fantasy, one that you had dreamt so many nights. Wished for it in the hot, comfortable haven of Laura's bed every time you'd stayed over. The thought of her older, attractively gruff father coming to you in the night and making you submit to his secret lust.

Of him pulling your panties to the side while Laura slept untroubled. Logan ravishing you while you whispered and mewled 'please, daddy, make me your filthy slut'

You've always been his filthy slut, haven't you? Deep In your heart. The thought is turning the wet spot between your legs into a soggen menace. You've been horny before, You've been needy before, but never like this- because you've never tried something like this.

Never wanted something badly enough to ask for it; or even beg for it. This was a dream, a dirty desire, a secret yearning never to be true.

Then you'd drunk texted. You told him and he'd responded, not with shock or disgust, but enthusiasm, cautious enthusiasm. But it was still only text messages. You haven't spoken to him yet, not properly at least. Even when you saw him walk in at the party, or in the limo on the way back to Laura's. You couldn't bring yourself to say a word. Your mouth was so dry, cheeks so hot. Laura had laughed and said you were flushed in the backseat- a lightweight to end all lightweights- when in fact you haven't had a drop to drink tonight.

You're going to throw your phone at the wall, you swear it. But No, that would probably wake her up. Instead, you conclude that you're going to find your pants, and you're going to leave this house and never come back. You love Laura but you can't bear it, can't believe you trusted him with this. You can't lie here and torment yourself about your decisions a minute longer about your need.

Then, your heart leaps into your throat. phone dropping onto your chest with a soft thud. Quickly you brush it off and turn onto your stomach. Your head hitting the pillow, eyes squeezed shut and pulse racing like you've run a marathon.

Through your closed eyelids, you see the glow of the hall light from the open door, only for it to vanish moments later. Either the door has closed or the light's been turned off, but you're not sure which because blood is racing so loudly in your ears. Breath escaping in overwhelming gasps.

Do you hear calculated heavy footsteps or is that your imagination? You struggle to listen for Laura. Is she awake or still sleeping? The tension so tight in your chest that you begin to feel dizzy, almost nauseous. Then comes the creak of the floor at the foot of your makeshift bed, the unmistakable presence of another person in the room, their eyes on you.

You can't stop your body from trembling slightly as the sheet is softly yanked away. Adrenaline courses through your veins, making your body buzz with anticipation.

Your legs are bare the cool air of Laura's bedroom. You're laying on your stomach. Face pushed into the pillow, eyes clenched shut as if you're locked into a deep, drunken sleep- like you should be.

Your legs are splayed out, dark lacey panties riding up the crevice of your ass. One of your ass cheek's indecently exposed... then a rough touch caresses over the swell of that exposed cheek, two big exploring hands, gliding over you.

You hear the grunt of a man, and you know it can only be Logan. He's the only other person home.

Your heart is beating so hard you're afraid you're going to pass out. Laura is on the bed, sleeping mere feet away, and her father is groping you in your supposed sleep.

So the question becomes: are you dreaming now? or are you praying this is as far as he'll go?

when Logan pull's the fabric of your panties to the side, you know he's willing to go much further. He's quiet in the darkness around you, but he's big and the house is old; the floor creaking and groaning as he readjust's his heavy weight.

Your panties are roughly hiked over one cheek of your ass, the sound of ripping lace filling your ears. Logan's hot breath roll's over your ass and the tremble in your limbs becomes a full shiver.

You can feel his scruffy face so close to your body, Feel his nose against the crevice of your ass as he roves lower. Dipping further until his mouth- his nose - is pressed into the folds of your bared cunt.

You hear how he inhales deeply, toes curling in response. Your fingers lay over Laura's spare pillow, the case tight in your grip. He's smelling you, nuzzling against your dampening skin not once, but many times. Lewdly breathing in your scent like a dog that's found something it likes.

His calloused hands spread you open so he can breathe deeper still and when hes as deep into your cunt as his face will allow, his wet tongue slides out to lick at you. You cannot stifle your moan at the feeling, immediately biting your lip to keep from growing any louder.

But with this the culmination of so many fevered late night fantasies, you dont know if you are dreaming.

His wide tongue laps at your swollen clit, swiping open the seam of your pussy and to the point just shy of your tighter hole. You hear logan growl into your wet slit like a monster unleashed from beneath the bed. Feeling how how his licks grow stronger, longer and twice as ravenous as he steadily turn your pussy into a drooling, dripping mess.

He laps at you in the quiet darkness of Laura's room, calculated and experienced as you fight to not to cry out. The pressure of an impending orgasm building so tight in your body that it feels time you woke up.

And so you take a deep breath, a rough gasped sound falling out too. Your fingers claw at the pillow as you flex your lower half.

"Hmm?"You grumble, pretending to bat away the cobwebs of sleep. "Wha-whats happening, What are you doing?" You ask, voice thick with mock confusion.

Within moments you feel Logan's tongue retreat from your pussy, a weight so much heavier than your own crawl over your half naked body. You feel him pressed tight against you, still clothed if the scratchy fabric tells you anything, but an unmistakable bulge is hidden inside. Hard and large against your ass you feel Logan's arm rub against your shoulder. A big hand sliding over your mouth.

"Quiet, sweetheart" he growls in your ear. "Daddy's had enough of your teasing"

Another large hand slides beneath your sleep shirt to cup your tender tits, The nipples diamond hard against Logan's palm. You cant help but moan into his hand as you plead.

"Please. Didn't mean to tease" its a wine, petulant in tone.

"Course you didnt.. Shame S' Too late now" he whispers against your ear, teeth biting into your earlobe. The hand on your breast trails down. Right the way down to his slacks.

"B-but Laura" You warn him in a whispered panic, hearing the sound of a zipper sliding down. you struggle teasingly, hips bucking back against him. Its not enough to cause a scene or enough to wake your sleeping friend- his sleeping daughter- but just enough to make him pin your body down. Enough for you to feel a fraction of his real strength.

Logan's muscles bulge from the effort of caging you against the floor and spreading your legs.

"Nuh uh, Stay still. Stay right where ive got you" he murmurs darkly in your ear, voice a low rumble. the words fire through you like liquid lightning as you bite into his palm, not to fight but to restrain a high pitched moan that you fear could wake the neighbors- not just Laura.

"nothing you can do now sweetheart, just gotta take it" Logan says and you hear the mocking smile in the words, feel the throb of his thick cock as it emerges from the confines of his pants. "Kept telling me you were a good girl, so show me"

With your stomach flat against the ground, legs spread wide beneath him, you can do nothing but tremble as his cock slips between your legs. The cock belonging to your best friend's father sliding deliciously across that little bundle of nerves that sparks a whimper of pleasure.

Your eyes roll back as Logans hips buck, cock brushing your clit again, running up and down your slit torturously slow. "fuuuck, you feel that? How hard you've got my cock?"

You're kicking your legs now, moving your hips. It could be viewed as a struggle but its not, not really, you're just so desperately excited you can't keep still.

"Don't need to fight me baby. Just let daddy in hm? let it happen sweetheart."

And then he's pushing inside your body in one heavy thrust; slow and impossibly deep. The weight of him inside your cunt making you mewl against his palm. All the years of secret yearning, wet fantasies and subtle flirtations have all led to this moment.

It doesn't take many thrusts before your tongue is rolling out of your mouth, licking wetly against his palm like a grateful dog- a bitch in heat. You try to use it to muffle the moan that follows, a pitiful sound mixed with pleasure, like you're ashamed to be in the situation.

Used and humiliated around logans cock.

Its push followed by retreat, a half thrust and then withdrawal over and over. "So fucking tight" Logan growls as you wiggle your ass, not certain if your trying to squirm further in to his grip or out.

He's stretching your walls apart, the burn of his size delicious with each heavy he offers. Each bringing a pulsing throb on your clit. "Yeaaaa, that's it, take it like a good girl.." he groans. "S' what you wanted isn't it."

Logans right, this is exactly what you wanted and more. His body trembles atop yours from the exertion, balls squeezed against your ass, his hand on and off clenching around your breast. His thrusts picking up in pace as you struggle and squirm to keep quiet even under his palm

"L-logan" you whimper as he pushes particularly deep, pussy squelching lewdly from your arousal, his hand barley muffling the word. He knows your close before you do, can feel your cunt clenching desperately.

"Getting fucked so good your gonna cum sweetheart?" he rasps in your ear, panting into it. "C'mon, tell daddy how good his cock feels."

"S-so good.. F-fuck yes daddy, please"

You whine and It is a struggle to pry his strong hand off your mouth to get the words out.

"Go on sweetheart. Cum, coat my fuckin cock. Show me this cute little pussy is mine"

and then his big hand clamps back over your lips as he begins to fuck you into the floor. Your orgasm crashes over you in burning waves. Every stroke becoming an ecstatic agony, overstimulation starting to buzz over your bones. Its a constant struggle to hold your moans and neither of you can move properly for the risk of waking Laura .

But Logans hips remain unrelenting, Fucking you prone on your friends floor. His balls swinging, swatting unbearably at your clit with every entry. The heat of him and being trapped against the floor is almost unbearable, but so is having to keep your whimpers quiet. sweat beads hot on your brow

you can hear his own desperate attempts at staying quiet. Broken only by muffled groans, grunts of exertion, and primal chesty growls as your cunt clenches wetly around him.

Yet the discomfort of overstimulation is no match for the absolute bliss of your submission. Your toes curling so hard you're on the verge of a cramp.

The friction between your clit, Logan's cock and the floor builds to an intolerable pressure. Something must give way. The temptation to lose all control and scream his name too great. Now that possibility of you blacking out is too dangerous to ignore. So you say it the word.

"Kitty!"

Not because you want to, but because in this moment you have to. Almost as soon as the word leaves your lips and sinks into the pillow, wet from saliva and tears, you feel his body shudder. muscles seizing while a heavy groan sounding out into the skin of your neck.

"you okay?" he pants softly worry creasing his brow. "Was it too much?"

Your wordless and it worries him. Making him pull back, cock slipping free with a hushed hiss as he helps you shift onto your back, so he can look at you properly.

Your hands rise, fingers caressing his scruffy cheeks. "M'okay" you pant, eyes on him. "wasn't too much. Promise."

No, in fact, It was just right- before it all overwhelmed you that is. Now? now you just want to hold him, make love to him. Hold onto something- someone that isn't really yours. Eye to eye, your mouth slides back over his, legs spread back open, ready to welcome his length back inside. Without a word you buck your hips down, beckoning him to fuck you again.

Things are much quieter this time. Pace slowed to deep grinds rather than shallow thrusts, pleasure once again coiling in your gut as you lean up to watch his cock disappear inside.

"Feel so good sweetheart, my good girl" he coos, lips against yours as his hand slips back to cup your breast. "My good girl with a fuckin perfect body"

You keep your eyes on logan, blissful smile across your face, and for this moment he's not your best friends father. Not with the way he's gazing down at you with a mixture of lust and long held affection. "always wanted you" he whispers, hand moving back from your breast to cup your cheek. "But I would have kept that secret forever.."

You squeeze him to your chest, heart stuttering at the admission as you lock your arms behind his neck, legs tight around logans waist. You whimper back his name, a plea on your tongue.

"Want you to cum logan.. Please, need to feel it"

You want it more than anything, to feel his cum pushed inside you; for it to drip out later as a downright filthy reminder. You kiss his neck, then cheek, and finally his lips. You want Logan to claim you right here on the floor, right under her nose and you know it makes you a bad friend. Your eyes roll back, hands clawing down his chest as you feel yourself giving up all thought to the rush that flows down the center of your body. The one that begins and ends in the wet, sticky place between your legs, Where the sensitive bud of your clit pulses like a dying star.

it's then he growls much too loud, and you respond back in a whimper, lips pressing tight as you cum together in panted kisses. Him pumping hot heady ropes of cum inside your cunt without reservation or regret as you clench in a vice grip around him.

Tomorrow you will be sore, you know it for a fact. But Tonight.. Tonight You can revel in a fantasy made flesh, your flesh and Logans wrapped around each tight. You drag weak fingers down through his damp hair, then his back, feeling the way his shirt is soaked through with sweat.

Logans panting has subsided by now, breaths no longer crackling besides your ear. He plants mouthy kisses at the juncture of your neck, ever so gently, like a sated wolf nuzzling at the muzzle of his mate. You giggle quietly as those kisses grow fiercer, teeth nipping at your neck.

"my good, great, naughty girl" he murmurs against your skin, voice soft. "you feeling okay sweetheart? sure it wasn't too much?"

You nod and he can feel the enthusiasm seep from the move as you grasp his face again. "Mhm, better than okay. Was perfect" you hum sleeplily, content in his hold, in the scent of him. Your eyes flutter, lashes tickling his cheeks as you kiss him long and deep, until the rub of his beard hurts your face and sleep begins to take you under.

You both know tonight was the culmination of so many fevered dreams. The breaking point of lust and its power that can't be fully expressed in words. So he holds you close- just as you do him in your rest- for a little while longer, until light begins to filter soft through the curtains and the reality of what you'd both done really begins to set in.

thats it!! lemme know what you thought anddddd yea! asks are always open to shoot the shit, drabbles and more! <333

[burinazar]

Birthday Completed.. Am Thirtey Twoe

[niceonejames7]

i love yous and what not

you tell james you love him for the first time

words: 940

genre: fluff

cw: kind of reserved!reader (?), james is an annoying sweetheart

a/n: didn't realise this is another confession blurb. ive been getting too many negative posts (fanwars and all) in my tl so i needed get my head clear. i need to start blocking people don't i.

.....

You were never a vocal person. To tell someone something vulnerable made you recoil into yourself. You liked seeing it through actions. James knew that. But James had always been an expressive person. He liked showing his love, and proclaiming it, and sharing it. Basically, any form of affection. 

Your reluctance had never stopped him. 

He had said ‘I love you’ a month into dating, you hadn't minded it. You already knew he did, and you felt the same. You had only kissed him later, but next morning, it was as if he could predict your words,

“You really don't have to say it. I know you have a hard time with these things. I know how you feel, it's hard not to know. I feel all fuzzy inside when you smile at me" He had grinned down at you as you hid, your face half under the blanket but he knew you were smiling. He could see it in your eyes, and who wouldn't know, he did feel all fuzzy inside. 

So you hadn't said it. At least not as a confession. 

James is terrible company. Terrible because he rubs off on you. You were never someone to wake early in the morning, you still aren't. But your body seems to wake itself to bid him goodbye in the morning, “I'm only going to the gym" He'd say as he kisses your forehead, your body going back to sleep again.

And you had peppered in ‘love you's in your texts, when bid him goodbye, in your notes, magnetic letters spelling out ‘LY’ under his growing collection of pictures etc. etc.

Today's different. He's still annoying with what feels like a weekly routine to cuddle you with cheesy romantic sentences, that you know he means -he knows they make you squeezy- but he says them anyway. 

“This isn't a joke my love, I really would let you stab me,” His arms squeezing your waist as you squirm in his lap, "I'd just be glad you'd be the one to do it." 

You try to be annoyed, but laugh as you make more futile attempts to escape. 

“I feel as if you were made for me. You know that one line," His eyes light up in excitement, your movements still as he concentrates, “I don't believe in God, but I truly believe God made you for me. It's from a book, I think."

“Oh my god, James," You chuckle, your hands pushing on his bicep, but you really only feel them flex under your fingers. 

“What do you want for lunch?" He asks, pressing one last kiss on your lips as he lifts you off of him and goes to get his phone.

“He really needs to stop doing that to me”, you mumble to yourself. 

The next morning, you had woken up as you usually did on the time James left the house. But today he was staying in, you knew this after he proclaimed he's gonna be too tired after last night's activities. You had laughed him off, but you guess he was telling the truth.

You laugh, because he is fast asleep and his lips a little puckered, nose cold to touch. You adjusted his blanket before pressing a kiss to his nose. Then another -then another, deciding those would be the only way you'd warm up the cold.

James was half- awake, he knew you were there, but he didn't dare wake up, his sleepy mind scared that it might be a dream and you'd stop.

Your fingers traced over his eyes, his forehead, his chin, mindless activities to spend time, to rid your mind of the pestering feeling.

It had been present since yesterday, or last week, maybe a month, maybe more. You wanted to say it, but every moment felt too casual, or too formal, or maybe too inappropriate, or too serious. You didn't know what to do. 

You didn't know how he'd react, if he'd resort to his teasing proclamations, or ignore it, or say it back. It was silly to worry about this, there's nothing to fear, it's James. 

You didn't know what made you say it, maybe because he was sleeping, or well- pretending to sleep, or it was the quiet, maybe something else. There was nothing all too romantic about this moment, but you had said it anyway,

“I love you." A quiet whisper, not hesitant or unsure, just nervous. Your pinky finger runs along his nose, it's quite warm now, his whole face is, “I hope you already know that."

He half opens his eyes, just to see a glimpse of your face, it's zeroed in on a curl of his, falling to the side of his face.

 James had known you liked him before you knew. Your love isn't something non- detectable. It was out there, for everyone to see. Unintentionally or not. He had no doubts. He has a million questions if you're saying it because you feel obligated, or pressured or anything else, but he's afraid he might ruin the moment. So for now, He only pulls you impossibly close, his whole body thrumming with excitement, he'd freak out about this later on. Right now he only wants you.

His arms wrap around you, and buries his face into your neck, his warm breath on yours, “I love you, too. So,”- a kiss, “So,”-another one, "much."

He nuzzles into you, and let him, of course you do, fingers brushing out his curls, he continues, “But I think you already knew that." 

[osakhee]

never enough, virgin!wonbin x reader

! endurance training, handjob, overstimulation, edging, slight dacryphilia

note : FINALLY something is done with the virgin wonbin thoughts ive been having for a week ..... 🙂‍↕️

"can i please at least be inside just once?"

"nope. not until you can hold it better."

"you always say that... i've done well the last time, when will it be enough?"

"it will never be enough. not until i say so."

wonbin lays back on his seat with a pout. he's glad the bus is mostly empty so no one can catch a glimpse of your conversation. you both sit at the far back of the bus, away from all the people going home at this hour. wonbin looks outside the window just to be met with the heavy droplets that pour outside, and he turns his head to look at you. he's still sulking, and the serious glare you throw at him makes his heart jump in his chest.

wonbin is your classmate. actually, he's more than that, but you like the "classmate" title, even though the boy doesn't think the same. he'd rather call your relationship "friends with benefits but he's the only one getting benefits". when at school, wonbin is all talk about how good he's in bed, he laughs at his male friends for being virgins at their age. he has the pretty face to make anyone believe his words, but little do they know he actually turns into a puddle when you get your hands on him. you wanted to see for yourself how good he is, he's handsome, and since he said he fucks well, why not? but when you dragged him behind the lockers, wonbin turned into a blushing mess, he didn't even know where to put his hands when you kissed him. he was moaning in your mouth in no time, so hard in his pants he felt like he could burst only from your lips that left his to pepper kisses on his jaw. he begged you not to tell anyone, so instead, you exposed you plan to him. he loses his virginity, and you get to fuck him and with him.

wonbin had no idea at first that fucking with him would mean hours of playing with his cock and nipples, jerking him off so slowly it would make his thighs tremble everytime your fingertips touched his skin. you asked him to keep the count, but he can't recall how many times you made him cum anymore. each time, he would be a shaky and whiny mess, he'd beg you to finally give him what he wants. you always promised it for next time, and thinking of the reward of being inside of you always made him harder than ever.

but now it's been weeks since you started to play with him. wonbin is over at your home almost everyday, and he's never getting his way. the way you would taunt him to reveal his little secret always made him comply and fall to his knees so you could stick your thumb in his mouth until he's drooling all over it.

the bus that's taking you and wonbin home finally reaches your stop, and you take the boy's hand to get down. to anyone, you would probably look like a cute couple walking back from school together. but the grip you have on wonbin's wrist and the tension he's feeling all over his body say otherwise. he can already feel the warmth painting his cheeks red and the anticipation building in his lower stomach. you both walk in silence until you reach your apartment. when the door opens, wonbin doesn't even wait for you, he gets inside and walk straight to you room. he wouldn't want to mess up his routine. you take your time, put down your jacket and bag before joining him.

wonbin sits on your bed with large puppy eyes, he's still upset at how harsh you were to him on the bus. he can't tell you how much it turns him on, or you'll have another reason to mess with his head, his secrets getting heavier each time you see each other. you walk to the bed and let your hand travels his face, from his jaw to his pretty lips, your fingers mess with his hair. you tug on his locks lightly to make his head fall back and give you a prettier view of his neck, his smooth skin almost perfect under your hungry lips. wonbin sighs heavily at the contact of your warm mouth, he grips the sheets in his hands, his legs rub together to get some frictions on his clothed dick.

you get away from his skin and push him down on the bed, his back gently hitting the blanket. wonbin knows what's next. his hands reach the hem of his shirt before taking it off, he then hurriedly opens his pants to get rid of any clothes that stops his cock from finally breathing. he doesn't care being naked in front of you anymore, he's used to your eyes burning his body when you look at him. wonbin takes a deep breath when he slides his underwear down, his already red and leaking dick hitting his stomach. you sit next to him and watch it twitch with anticipation, wonbin is almost moaning just from your warm presence next to him.

"are you ready?"

"if i do well, can i finally fuck you next time?"

"depends on how long you last today."

wonbin rests his head on the bed, his chest heaves with his sharp breaths. you let your fingers travel his faintly toned stomach and wonbin already squirm under your touch, shivers covering his whole body. your nails graze his skin down his thighs, his cock drips some more precum when you get so close to it. you could watch him for hours and drive him crazy, your hands massaging his inner thighs enough to have him cum untouched. with one finger, you draw slow circles on his lower stomach, going all the way up his length and rubbing his slit, his arousal quickly coating your finger. you lay next to wonbin and wrap your hand around his dick, your mouth finds one of his nipple and you suck eagerly on it.

the boy on your bed is already a moaning mess, his back arches on the sheets and his hips buck into your hand to get any kind of friction, but you stay completely still, only giving attention to his chest. your tongue twirls around his hardened pink bud, it makes wonbin cry out your name. he claws at the bed desperately for more, and after one more kiss on his chest, you sit up next to him again. you finally give attention to his cock that's calling for you, and stroke him at a dangerously slow pace. wonbin tries to steady his breath as much as he can, his eyes closed and concentrated on the pleasure you give him.

it doesn't take long to break him apart though. once you start paying more attention to his leaking tip, his hips jerk up constantly in your hand and you have to pin him down. the cries that come out of his throat are broken by your name rolling on his tongue over and over again. the way his thighs are shaking when you pick up the pace tell you everything you need to know. you give wonbin one more stroke before letting go of his dick. his knuckles turn white from how hard he's holding the covers under him, his cock twitches desperately. you rub your thumb on his slit and wonbin's back arches again on the bed.

"stop moving so much, that's how you get tired so fast."

"p-please.... give me m-more..."

"you will cum so fast thought."

"i won't i-i swear i won't please keep g-going..."

you want to believe wonbin's weak promise and you wrap your hand again around his length. you watch him close his eyes again and put all his willpower in stilling his hips for you. you give him lazy strokes again, your hand covered in the sticky precum that keeps rolling down his cock. you rest your other hand on his thigh and he jumps in your touch, his lips parting in a silent moan. for a while, only the wet sound of your palm around his dick and his heavy breathing can be heard in your room.

since you started your little training with wonbin, he never really got better, he would always cum awkwardly fast especially if you started teasing him. he lasted longer the last few times though, and you couldn't wait to have him inside of you and feel him filling your insides after a few thrusts. you loved watching him cry out your name each time he ended up fucking your fist, his hips desperately bucking up to meet your hand after you edged him for hours so he can finally gets the sweet release he's begging for.

every once in a while, you leave wonbin's cock to watch him from your place, you sit crossed legged on your bed and smile at the boy's desperation. his black hair stick to his forehead and his chest shines with a thin coat of sweat, his hands weakly rest next to him as he got tired from holding the sheets so tightly. beads of precum form on his slit and roll down his cock or drop on his lower stomach. it stains your bed, it makes your hand sticky and wet, and it gives shivers to wonbin each time you blow on his dick with a chuckle.

it's always when wonbin is the less ready that you start to jerk him off again, you barely listens to him as he speaks about his day so his mind would focus on anything but his throbbing cock. you grip his dick out of nowhere and hear his breath catch in his throat. his thoughts get lost in the pleasure, unable to form a single word but the desperate "please" that escapes his lips over and over again. you pout at his sensitivity and you tighten your grip around him, your palm very slowly making its way up and down.

"are you close already?"

"mmhh... p-please..."

"can you hold it a little longer? just a little."

"i'm n-not... not sure... it's s-so..."

"just a little more, i know you can do it."

wonbin hides his face in the sheets when you quicken your pace, his hips buck up again in your hand and you instantly let go of his cock. wonbin's head jerks up to look at you with a pleading whine, only for his head to drop back when you flatten your hand on his tip. his back arches and his hands find their way in his hair to push away the strands that cover his eyes. your palm rubs the sensitive head of his cock, wonbin's breath gets more erratic and louder. you give him a few pumps and check your phone that sat next to you on the bed. he's actually handling it well, probably the best he has done yet, but it's still not enough for you. you just want to make sure he could last when fucking you, you're just helping out! you feel wonbin's dick pulse in your hand and you stop all your movements again to squeeze it. his voice breaks into a high pitched cry, the tears that had been filling his eyes finally flowing down his cheeks. it's always been your favorite sight, he's such a wreck when you get your hands on him and he's never been more beautiful to you. you massage his thighs and from the way his cock throbs constantly, you can tell he's so close just a touch could make him burst.

"p-please... i'm gonna- i w-wanna cum please... i n-need to cum s-so bad..."

"hmm... you've done well... but it's not enough you know that."

when you start stroking him again, you see his head dig into the mattress and deep in the blanket, his fingers clawing at the sheets, his parted lips let every moan escape his throat. you can't tell if his cheeks glisten because of the sweat or because of his tears that roll down his face and down his neck.

"you know wonbin... i might just let you fuck me next time..."

"a-ah please... i-i'm cumming p-please i'm c-cumming..!"

you jerk him off faster and watch the ropes of hot and thick fluid hit your fingers and his tensed stomach, you make sure to grip his tip through his orgasm that has his thighs shaking. his hips stutters in your fist until he weakly shoots one last drop of cum on your hand. wonbin tries to get away from you and your teasing hand that keeps playing with his sensitive cock, he turns to the side and burry his whines in the sheets, he can't control the desperate thrusts of his hips until you finally let go of him. you check your phone again while wonbin catches his breath, he sniffles audibly when he finally sits up next to you. you look at his messed up face and push away gently a few strands of hair that stick to his forehead, your hand then resting on his cheek so you can wipe away his tears. wonbin looks at you with shining hopeful eyes that could make you melt.

"did i- did i do well? d-did i hold it long enough?"

"you know it's never enough to me... but you did well, i might actually let you inside me next time. you'll do well this time too, right?"

wonbin's cock weakly twitches at your words and the smile he gives you have you burning inside. maybe he could actually hold it when he fucks you. you couldn't wait.

im crazy wonbin is all ive been thinking about for the past few days im CRAZYYYYYY thank you cee for supporting me through the wonbin breakdown

[pepprs]

hi, everyone. i hope you all are doing well. i’ve been meaning and wanting to check in here for many months but i have also been too afraid to. but i want to do it now because im potentially at a turning point and i want you all (especially close friends and mutuals who i haven’t talked to in a long time) to know what’s going on because unfortunately i do not have the strength to reach out individually right now, as much as i desperately want to.

when i left this place a year ago my depression was extremely bad. i didn’t know how long i was going to be gone or whether i was leaving for good, but i knew i needed to make some changes in my life before i could be here healthily again. well… 2024 has been a year of IMMENSE change for me! a lot of it has been for the good. i made some progress in my life by moving out, and i’ve had a lot of joy and healing in (very slowly) building a home for myself and figuring out what kind of life i want to live and how i want to live it. (im learning how to drive! i have string lights and stuffed animals and a wii! i am capable of solo travel!)

but… a lot of the changes that have happened this year have been for the worse. in almost every respect 2024 has been one of the most difficult and painful years of my life (and that is saying something!). this year a couple of traumatic things have happened to me and around me, and it has been extremely hard to live my life despite and beyond them. i have been dealing with physical and mental health issues that have greatly impacted my quality of life and make it unbearably difficult for me to get through every day. i am constantly running on negative spoons. one of the most damaging outcomes of this is that i have almost completely withdrawn from society both online and off and that is not an exaggeration. ive stopped talking to all of my friends and family except for people i see every day at work. i impulsively isolate myself when im in pain / distress despite knowing both emotionally and logically that it makes literally everything worse and i don’t know how to (and often can’t muster the mental strength to) work through the shame and grief and anxiety to seek connection and support. and im struggling to take care of myself including physically and its having severe consequences in every aspect of my life and in the lives of people who care about me. i live alone and i still think that was the good and right choice for me to make, but i am profoundly and agonizingly lonely. my depression was extremely bad when i left here, but i think despite everything it might be even worse now.

all of this is to say: this week i finally decided i can’t suffer like this anymore, and i began the process of seeking a formal diagnosis for my depression and other mental health issues and exploring additional treatment beyond talk therapy (most likely meds but there may be other things too / instead; still at the very beginning stages of figuring it all out). i am extremely anxious about many dimensions of this but also hopeful that it will help me hurt less because when i tell you at this point my brain and heart physically ache from depression like 85% of every day…. lol. im really hoping that once i get my mental / emotional pain under control i’ll be able to start tending to the parts of my life that have withered while ive suffered and repair the damage of my neglect as best i can. (which is to say… if you’re my friend and you’re reading this please know i love you and i miss you terribly and i am so sorry we haven’t spoken and i am so sorry im telling you this in a tumblr post you may not even read instead of a reply or a call back. i still love you and i want you to know it is not you specifically i am ghosting, its everyone. i am trying to build the strength and im scared i can’t but i hope i can.)

that said… i have decided i am not going to be coming back to this blog. i miss this place and the community i felt connected to here, but the way i was using this website as a public diary was extremely unhealthy, and as much as i miss it and still crave the instant comfort/validation i see clearly now with months of distance how damaging it was. (i truly cannot believe i was oversharing like that lol i am so private now (yes due largely to mental illness but still!)) i am so grateful to everyone who reassured me when i was struggling and celebrated my successes. this was the first place, online or off, where i (misguidedly but it’s true!) could actually be honest and candid about things happening in my life and my reactions to them instead of communicating it all through metaphors in my art and poetry, and it truly mattered that i had that experience here so that i could seek out more spaces like it in my offline life. i know i already said thank you in a previous update but really… thank you. 💗🫂

im not planning on deleting this blog. i may come back here and share updates like this one from time to time, but otherwise i will leave it as it is. but… i do want to get back to using a few of my fandom-centered sideblogs because looking at and compiling art of things i like is a low-energy thing that makes me happy! so you may see activity there every once in a while (tbh during this hiatus i have opened tumblr from time to time to look at art and save a bunch of posts that i wanted to reblog eventually lol). but… if i notice myself slipping back into bad habits i may private the sideblogs or abandon them completely.

i don’t know how to end this post. actually wait yes i do. one of my all time favorite artists is anna-laura sullivan (@/annalaura_art on instagram) and this is one of my all time favorite drawings of hers (so much so that i made it my lock screen so i can look at it every day!). this saying has brought me a lot of comfort and i hope it (and her other art) will bring you comfort too if you’re also in a dark place.

one more thing: not to be kind of a freak but in writing this post i discovered a longer version of my goodbye post from last year in my drafts. i don’t remember why i didn’t post it and obviously it’s outdated now but i want to share the draft because i went into more detail about tumblr having been helpful for me specifically when it comes to my mutuals + info / disclaimers about how to reach me and i want you guys to hear that in my past self’s voice lol! i put it under the cut if you want to read it!

2023 tess said it best: i hope you know how much it’s meant to me to be in your company. thank you for sharing and thank you for listening. i love you. happy [almost] new year. be well. good luck. shine bright. until we meet again ☕️🐈🫂💗

[thehandmaidenofcreativity]

Sneaking Around With SKZ ✧ Part IV

Rating: Explicit/18+

WC: 4.7k

Comments: This a continuation of this anon requested fic. The reader ends her night peacefully with Chan. Come Monday, she gets to know a new side of Jisung.

Taglist: @velvetmoonlght / @chuuyaobsessed / @joyofbebbanburg / @skybluelixie

⋆⭒˚｡⋆｡✧･ﾟ

Chan takes your hand and leads you back into the living room. The snacks have been replenished, the sequel to the movie is queued up on the screen. and the members have switched up their seats around the room. Unsurprisingly, Seungmin and Hyunjin are cozied up together, the former playing with the latter’s hair as he talks to Jeongin on his other side. With his top half partially laid on Seungmin, Hyunjin’s got his legs over Jisung’s lap and propped up on the arm of the couch. Jisung seems to be animatedly explaining a theory about the next film while Hyunjin and Minho, on the floor in front of them, nod along. He catches your eye and shoots you a wink without skipping a beat. 

As Chan brings you over to the loveseat, pulling you so that you’re sitting next to him with your legs over his, your mind stays on Jisung. He and Jeongin are the only ones you haven’t hooked up with yet. Based on how things have gone so far, you wonder if you should expect to experience them together. Your first and second encounters were clearly planned to involve two members at a time, but you think you would’ve had Changbin on his own if Felix hadn’t offered his room. It’s been incredibly fun and satisfying so far, so it’s hard to decide if you’d rather have another threesome or not. 

Chan has yet to let go of your hand, and his other hand gently massaging your thigh. There’ll be time to focus on the others later, so you turn your attention to him. “Have you seen this one?”

“Not yet! Have you?”

When you shake your head ‘no’ he launches into his own theories on what comes next while you wait for Changbin and Felix to come rejoin the party. This eventually leads to a heated argument between Seungmin and Minho as everyone gets involved in the predictions, effectively ending when Seungmin gets up and just starts the movie. 

Without a “mission” you settle in and actually pay attention this time. When Changbin joined you on the couch, you moved your legs so he could sit comfortably; so now you’re just tucked into Chan’s side, legs tucked up so that your knees rest against his thigh, and his arm slung around your shoulder. He kisses your head or brings your hand up to press it to his lips every now and then, but it doesn’t go beyond that. 

When the movie ends, Minho immediately starts gloating and taunting Seungmin, but after a minute Jeongin finally pipes up to admit that he and Minho watched the movie together a few weeks prior. Obviously this results in a ton more yelling, and you can’t help but get involved. You’re again struck by how easy it’s been to integrate yourself into this group of men that you really hadn’t even expected to like. 

Following agreeing to a penalty of cleaning up after movie night (as if this had been a bet or something rather than just talking before a movie) and assurances that no one has seen any others in the series, predictions for the third film begin. All the while, Chan has scooped you back into his lap, just holding you while you all talk. During that time, you text your mom to let her know you won’t be home tonight. 

When the third movie finishes, it becomes a debate about whether you might as well watch the fourth and final of the series tonight or if you should just pick it up in the morning. The night owls of the group think they have the most convincing argument considering you, as if it would be a hardship for you to come back for a third time this weekend, on a Sunday no less. It’s silly. But as a night owl yourself, and considering how lively the early birds still seem to be, you opt for not clueing the whole group into your plans yet.

You lean close to whisper in Chan’s ear. “Should I tell them all that I’m taking you up on your offer to spend the night?”

Sweet leader that he is, Chan looks conflicted. “Would you rather watch now or tomorrow?” 

“I mean it’s not that late.” You glance at your phone to actually check the time. It’s really not that bad.

“Then let’s pretend you haven’t decided yet.” Chan grins conspiratorially.

This time you speak to the group. “Can’t we watch tonight? That way I can definitely see it with you?”

There’s a couple sighs, but it’s decided. You get a mix of high fives, thumbs ups, and kisses from the night owls depending on their proximities to you. This round of predictions is much shorter. When the movie ends, those who’d wanted to go to bed have no issue staying up for the next 45 minutes talking about the film then other things. Finally you all decide to call it a night. 

You’ve been attached to Chan since you left Felix’s room, and figure you might as well stay that way for the rest of the night. You give each of the Cuties a hug and kiss goodnight before heading back to the 3Retcha dorm with him. You can’t help but let your kiss with Seungmin linger a bit longer than the others. With Felix the hug is extended while he whispers in your ear about how much he enjoyed his time with you tonight and you feel a rush of heat to your cheeks. Minho, of course, doesn’t give you the chance to linger one way or the other, popping you on the butt and pushing you off to Jeongin. You feel weirdly shy with him, so with a quick peck on the cheek, you’re on your way, trailing behind Chan with your hand in his again. 

Back at the other dorm, you all sit around the living room a bit longer chatting while everyone goes to do parts of their night routines in turn. Chan actually leaves the dorm for a bit, causing you to reevaluate your sleep plan. Your goodnight to Changbin is much like your goodbye to Felix with a few more kisses. You sit in his lap while the other two are in other rooms. He only chastises you a little for riling him up so much in front of the others. 

When Hyunjin returns with a bottle of water for you, Changbin plants a kiss on your forehead and says he’s out for the night. Hyunjin switches things up, plopping down into your lap. You wrap your arms around his waist as he laughs. “I can’t believe Seungminnie’s plan actually worked.”

You laugh. “I think you’re the one who got us there, though. What did you whisper to him?”

Hyunjin gives you a sly smile and boops you on the nose. “That’s a secret.”

You both jump a little when you suddenly hear Jisung say, “Secrets secrets are no fun, Jinnie.” 

Hyunjin sticks his tongue out at him, and they start bickering. It’s cute. In the meantime, Chan has returned, but he heads straight towards the bedrooms. Since he was the one to offer to let you spend the night, you assumed you’d stay with him, but maybe not. Should I ask Hyunjin if I can sleep in his bed tonight? 

Just as you’re about to ask, a freshly showered Seungmin sweeps through the door. He plants a kiss on the top of your head while he pats Jisung on his. He makes his way toward Hyunjin’s room, hand extended behind him. “Let’s go, Jinnie, I’m tired.”

Hyunjin pops off your lap and nearly skips to catch up, grabbing Seungmin’s hand and blowing a kiss back over his shoulder. “Night!”

“They’re so cute, right?” Jisung sounds a little sarcastic, but the smile on his face as he watches them go is genuine.

“They really are.” You take the moment to study Jisung. His smile is so nice. His lips are pouty and look soft. You realize you haven’t really gotten to kiss him yet. Before you can follow that thought too far, Chan reappears, looking a little shy. 

“Night, Sung.” He holds out a hand to you. “Follow me?”

You lean over to kiss Jisung on the cheek, then place your hand in Chan’s and let him pull you off the couch. He brings you to the bathroom he shares with Changbin, immediately picking up a brand new toothbrush from the sink to offer to you. Now it makes sense that he’d left while you all were talking. How thoughtful. As you take in the space, you realize that it’s more than that. A bubble bath is standing by, and when you look back to Chan, he’s looking at his feet, a blush coloring his cheeks and ears. 

“I thought you might appreciate a soak after today.” He meets your eyes with a shy smile. “I’ve always found baths relaxing, though I don’t actually take them much.”

“You’re so sweet, Chan.” You pull him close. “Does that mean you’re getting in with me?”

As you pull back to look at him, you see his ears have gone from pink to red. “Uh, if you want me to? I, yeah. I, uh, I’d love to.”

It’s crazy that this man who was so assertive and in control this morning seems so unsure of himself, especially considering how wonderful he’s being. “You sure? You don’t have to.”

“No, I do want to. I just wasn’t sure if you’d want me to.”

“Of course I do.” You give him your best smile and start pulling the hem of his shirt up. His smile matches as he takes over and pulls it over his head.

You both undress and he gets in first before helping you in. You settle between his legs, turning back for a nice, slow kiss. Chan wraps his arms around you for a beat before letting his hands wander, caressing your arms, stomach, chest, everywhere he can reach. After a few minutes, he encourages you to face forward while he brings his hands up to your shoulders. As he massages, you realize this is the second time you’ve bathed with Chan today. He has such a calming presence; you feel inexplicably comfortable with him. You’ve loved the adventurous experiences you’ve had so far with these men, but you’re starting to treasure the sweet, soft moments with them as well. 

After your bath, and subsequent shower, Chan leaves you to finish your nighttime routine to the best of your ability - using his hair brush and products along with the toothbrush he’d bought for you. When you head into Chan’s room, you’re confused as you nearly walk into each other, as Chan is trying to leave with a pillow and blanket. 

“Where are you going?” With the way he squeezes them a bit tighter to his chest, you can tell he’s feeling a little embarrassed. 

“Oh, you know,” Chan’s ears are burning red as he smiles at the ground. “Just heading out to the couch. I, uh, left a water bottle by the bed for you. Is there anything else you need before I go?” 

You remember that he offered to give up his bed when he asked if you’d want to spend the night, but you didn’t think he’d seriously think you’d want that. Especially after you’d just taken a bubble bath together. You put a hand on his shoulder. “That’s very nice of you, Chan, but I was kind of hoping for a cuddle buddy. Plus, I really don’t want to kick you out of your bed. If you’re uncomfortable sleeping with me, I could go ask Chang-” 

“No, no.” Chan cuts in. “I’d love to share the bed with you. I just didn’t want to, like, pressure you or anything.” You pull him back over to the bed, and when he puts his stuff down, you realize he’s dressed only in his boxers. You’re not even a little subtle as you check out his very impressive physique. His blush spreads up his chest to his cheeks and ears again. “Sorry, I should put some clothes on.” 

Chan starts for his dresser, but you put a hand on his chest to stop him. “You shouldn’t. At least, not on my account.” 

You see that he’d left a shirt and shorts for you on the bed, but you simply toss your towel over the back of his desk chair. “I don’t usually like to sleep with clothes on, if I can help it.” 

It’s crazy how shy this man is considering that just this morning he’d been so assertive and in control. For a second, you wonder if the move was too aggressive and now you were making him uncomfortable.

“Yeah, alright.” He basically squeaks out. Adorable. “If you’re sure you’re good like this.” You smile and slide into the bed, pulling him to join you. After a moment’s hesitation, he slips his boxers off. You settle with him on his back, your head on his chest with your leg thrown over his. When you tilt your head up with a smile to say goodnight, he meets you with one of his own before pressing a sweet kiss to your lips. At first you worry that it’ll take a while to fall asleep, but the day must catch up to you and you drift off within the minute.

-

When you wake, it’s clear you’ve shifted in your sleep. You’re on your side now, Chan’s muscular arm draped over your middle. You turn back to look at him; he looks so peaceful in his sleep. You wouldn’t mind staying like this all day, but you’d also much rather be minty fresh when he wakes up. You grab the shirt Chan had originally gotten out for you to sleep in and slip out the door.

On your way back from the bathroom, you see Jisung making his way back to his own room. He shoots you a smile and beckons for you to come over. 

“Sleep well?” He wraps an arm around your waist, turning and leading you into the kitchen.

“Very.” You watch as he grabs ice, filling two cups to the brims before approaching the nearly full pot of coffee. “How about you?”

You catch him grimacing as he turns his back to you to pour the coffee. “I got to sleep okay, but woke up early and haven’t been able to get back to it. So I gave up and made coffee.”

Now that he’s said so, you can see it in his face when he turns back to face you again. He looks beat. Rather than setting a cup in front of you, he jerks his head toward the living room. He puts the drinks on the coffee table, grabs the remote, and flops back onto the couch. You consider his arm stretched over the back of the couch and sit directly beside him, tucking your legs up so that your knees rest on his thigh. His arm comes down to rest around your shoulders; he gestures to the tv. “Music or a show?” 

“Hmm.” You wonder what could help him to relax most. “You were talking about how much you like Studio Ghibli yesterday; can you put on your favorite movie?”

Jisung gives you a ray of sunshine in the form of a smile. He queues it up, telling you about what makes it his favorite. After you sit up for a sip of coffee, you ask to reposition, to lay down to watch. Han is spooning you, his head resting against yours. He runs his hand down your side before wrapping his arm around to hold your hand close to yours close to your chest. He presses a couple kisses to the back of your neck and shoulder, but doesn’t try to do anything beyond that.

You ask him questions every now and then, even though you’ve already seen the film. With each answer, his voice sounds closer and closer to sleep. When the movie is about three quarters of the way through, you can tell by his steady breathing that he’s fallen asleep. You finally let yourself start to drift off as well, hoping you’ll both be able to get in at least a couple more hours. 

When you do wake, you notice that Jisung has rolled back toward the couch, making it easy enough to slip off the couch without disturbing him. You barely try to resist the urge to kiss his forehead before tip toe back to Chan’s room. He’s sitting at his desk, headphones on. You tap his arm lightly, and he turns with a slight start. 

He hits a couple buttons and slides the headphones off. “Hey, you’re up. Did you sleep okay? I hope I didn’t make you feel like you needed to move to the couch.”

“Oh, I slept just fine in here.” You want to assure him, especially when you think of how he seemed nervous to make you uncomfortable the night before. “I just ran into Jisung on my way back from the bathroom. He’d been having trouble sleeping, and I figured a movie and cuddling might help him relax.”

“Looks like you were right.” Chan’s smile is nearly as blinding as Jisung’s. “You guys looked so cute out there. I’m sure he really appreciated you helping him out. We all struggle a bit with sleep in this dorm.”

“I hope he does.” You chuckle a little along with him. You move to grab your clothes from yesterday. “He’s still sleeping out there. I’d wait to talk to him, but I probably should head home. We have dinner with my uncle tonight and I’m sure my mom wants me to help prepare everything.”

“Oh, I hope that’ll be fun. If you give me a few minutes, I’ll walk you home.”

“Sounds good. And take your time.” You pull a small touch up kit out of your bag. “It’ll take me a few minutes to cover these hickies.”

Chan blushes. “Sorry about that.”

You push at his shoulder playfully. “You don’t need to apologize; yours are hidden. Plus, even if it’s a pain, I liked getting them.” 

You’re sure you wear a matching blush with that, and you head to the bathroom. The walk home is great. Like last night, you’re struck by how easy it is to spend time with Chan, and the rest of the group. You figured after last night that you’d at least mostly be compatible sexually, but it goes beyond that. They’re all so genuine and easy to be around.

-

That night, you get a message from an unknown number. It seems to be from Jisung, thanking her for helping him that morning. You change a few messages back and forth, after confirming with Chan that it is in fact Jisung messaging you (can’t be too careful). The conversation is innocuous enough, so when you get a voice note, you raise your brow.

You hit play. “You know, I was a little disappointed that we didn’t end up having any alone time last night. But I hear you follow orders well.”

Another comes in. “You wanna try following my orders, jagiya?”

You would be embarrassed at the size of your smile if anyone were around to see it. You immediately type out a ‘yes, please.’

You can almost hear the smile in his voice in his next voice note. “I need to hear you say it.”

You decide to take it up a notch. “Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.” A shot of anticipation goes through you when you listen to his next message. “Let’s start with something simple. Wear a dress tomorrow, and only a dress. Nothing underneath it.”

You shiver at the thought. You do have one that’s professional enough but also holds you up well enough that you should be able to get away with not wearing a bra. So you send him another “yes sir.”

-

The next day starts like any other, almost as if you didn’t spend the majority of the weekend getting railed by most of the men sitting around preparing to record. When you arrived, Han handed you a coffee with a raised eyebrow, eyeing your dress. You give him a small nod, earning a cocky smirk. A few minutes later, you feel the buzz of your phone and a message simply reading ‘good girl.’

Nearly halfway through the day, you get a text to meet Jisung in the studio during lunch. When the time comes, you arrive to an empty room. On the couch sits a piece of paper, an eye mask, and a set of headphones. The note reads: Put these on. Make sure the headphones’ noise canceling function is on. Sit still and wait for me. HJ

You follow the directions and try not to get too antsy. You can’t decide if you’re more nervous or excited. What if someone else comes in and finds me like this? He’d make sure that wouldn’t happen, right? You shift, tucking your fingers under your thighs.

Suddenly, you feel hands run up your thighs. You gasp in a breath and resist the urge to tear off your blindfold. Jisung’s hands bunch your dress up as far as it can go before shifting his hands between your thighs and gently pushing them apart. Like this, you know he can see that you did as he asked - there are no panties there to block his view of you. He pulls his hands away. 

For a moment, his thumb rests against your bottom lip, dragging it down before it’s gone as well. You feel your pulse hammering. Not being able to see or hear him has you on edge in the best way. You have no idea what he’s going to do next. 

After a minute, you wonder if he’s left you alone again. You shift, pulling your hands from under your legs and start fiddling with your ring. Jisung grips your wrists almost immediately; he positions them so that you are reaching behind you, holding onto the back of the couch. He lets his hands drift down the back of your arms to cupping and squeezing your breasts through your dress. His fingers leave a trail of fire in their wake, his every touch searing into you. 

Soon Jisung’s hands continue their path down your body, and he’s pulling your hips forward so that you’re perched on the end of your seat. He takes hold of each of your legs, positioning them so that you’re spread open and waiting for him. You feel his weight sink into the cushion next to you before dropping a kiss on your lips. His hair tickles your face as he dips down to lip up the side of your neck. Then he’s gone again.

It can’t be more than 30 seconds before he touches you again, but the anticipation makes it feel like forever. You jump when fingers begin spreading your lips and don’t have time to collect yourself before he drags his flattened tongue through your folds. After hearing him rap and sing, you know how talented Jisung is with his mouth, but this is a whole other level. He licks, laves, and sucks expertly, drawing a slew of soft sounds from your lips. 

“Fuck,” you groan out, hoping you don’t sound as desperate as you feel. You itch to touch him, but you’re sure he’ll stop if you move without permission. Still, you can’t help but grind your hips up with your next moan, chasing that friction. In the next second, Jisung is pulling away with a light slap to your thigh. You whimper, not because it hurts, but because you’d been hurtling toward your peak which came to an abrupt halt. 

Jisung adds insult to injury when hands on your knees bring your legs back together. You pout and catch the tail end of his laugh as he removes the headphones from your ears. “Don’t worry, baby. You were so good; I’m gonna take care of you now.”

“Please,” you whisper. You pull your bottom teeth between your lips but realize you forgot something. Not wanting him to change his mind, you tack on “sir.”

You can hear the smile in his voice. “Let’s get you into a better position.” He takes your hands and pulls you off the couch. He leads you around to the arm of the couch and gently pushes you so that you end up leaned over it. You can hear the sound of a condom opening and are surprised at the jolt of disappointment that goes through you. It makes more sense to use one in this setting, but you can’t help but think about how there’s been nothing between you and any of the other members; you don’t want things to be different with Jisung, not in this way. 

You’re startled out of your thoughts when a hand lands on your ass with a resounding smack. You let out a little ‘ah,’ and he rubs over the spot soothingly. “That wasn’t too much for you, was it, baby?”

You shake your head before he even finishes the question. “No, sir. I liked it.”

“Good girl. Now I kinda wish you’d misbehaved so I could punish you.”

You wiggle your ass back and forth a little. “Maybe I will next time, but right now I need you inside me, please… sir. Please sir.”

With a quick slap to the other cheek, Jisung kicks your legs further apart and lines his tip up with your entrance. Between his earlier teasing and the lube on the condom, the slide is easy, and good thing - he starts slow but once he feels the lack of resistance, he thrusts in to the hilt. You moan in tandem. 

His hands are on your hips in a punishing grip as he pumps into you, lifting your hips to meet each of his thrusts. He works a steady rhythm, murmuring praise and curses alike. The angle is driving you wild, he’s hitting you in just the right spot. You clutch at the cushion above you, mouth open and panting, just taking what he’s giving you. You drift higher and higher, your moans blending together until they seem to be one drawn out expression of pleasure. 

“That’s right, baby.” Jisung ups his pace, and you feel one of his hands leave your hip to grab onto your hair; he pulls, causing your body to arch, and you almost can’t take anymore. When you manage to get his name out between moans, he finally relents. “Come for me, baby. Show me how good you look falling apart on my cock.”

His permission is like unlocking a door. You cry out, his name on your lips, tightening and trembling as he pounds into you. Not long after, he falls over the edge himself, slumping over your back. Once you both come back to yourselves, he pulls out. After disposing of the condom, he shimmies your dress back down into place and helps you into a standing position. He finally removes your blindfold and the sight of him sated with that cocky grin on his face, you nearly swoon. He’s so hot. 

Jisung sits you both on the couch, his thumb rubbing small circles on the inside of your wrist. He kisses you softly. Finally, you can touch him without restriction. You wrap your arms around his neck and slide your legs across his lap at his urging. He keeps one arm around your waist and a hand on your upper thigh. Despite all that just happened, this moment feels more intimate.

Jisung pulls back, but just barely, keeping his forehead on yours, looking into your eyes. His voice is just above a whisper. “I hope that was good for you.”

“More than good, Sungie.” You beam at him then giggle. “I wish it wasn’t the middle of the day so we could do it again.”

He laughs. “I guess next weekend I’ll have to claim you early on so we can spend plenty of time together. For now, we have a little time left; wanna go grab some lunch?”

He makes sure everything in the room is cleaned up and in order, making sure all evidence of your time together is tucked away in his backpack before you head to the cafeteria.

⋆⭒˚｡⋆｡✧･ﾟ

To be continued...

[writingwenches]

In Fair Valyria...

...we lay our scene

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. Do with their death bury their parents' strife. In a world where the ruling class is told to marry their destiny, what if love prevails? Two of the most powerful ruling families of the Valyrian Freehold are mortal enemies, they have shed blood through the centuries. What happens when their most spirited youths, both set to marry against their wishes, mind one another in this chaotic world of murder and mayhem and build something...together Old Valyrian/Doom Shakespeare AU; Romeo + Juliet inspired; who wants to join in making some fun characters? We don't even have to formally write it all, we can just throw characters and muse at each other hehe

These violent delights have violent ends,

And in their triumph die like fire and powder, Which as they kiss consume~

[greater-than-the-sword]

"Waffles are just pancakes but more shaped"

-- @tzarina-alexandra

[ma-mariarie243]

Little comic i made in a whiteboard

I love making little comics that no one knows the context to :)

[cozylittleartblog]

Columbo and the Knight (1984)

put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.

Autism W!

[kaet-draws]

…in the field, the ground warms as blood seeps into the dirt. (Nathaniel Orion G. K, "הבל | hevel")

[arsenicflame]

Bonus round! Do you use a queue tag?

[petricorah]

scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]

[autumn-may]

terrisas really funny ithink

[bitternanami]

something i think is really interesting about dungeon meshi is the cast's respective views on food as the story progresses. the way many adventurers get through the dungeon is to eat when they Must, but mostly rely on healing magic to keep going when they're tired or beaten down. death is something you can buy your way out of, here.

having these lower stakes when it comes to running yourself too hard has made a lot of people in this setting kind of devalue food and what it does for you.

im not all the way through the manga yet, but so far i really like how it goes about debunking that mindset.

long post under the cut, cw explicit discussion of disordered eating. textual depiction of unhealthy methods of dealing with it. please be cautious!

it seems like to most folks, food is either a decadent luxury, like when the governor offers mr tance a feast as a show of power and wealth, (although he is the only one who actually eats in that scene as he talks about his ambitions);

[id: the governor and mr. tance talk politics and hierarchies, while the governor eats from a bowl. mr. tance's meal is not visible behind a speech bubble.

"so you believe the sorceror is an elf?" he asks.

"i can't say with absolute certainty," mr. tance replies, "but the spells are not ones dwarves and humans typically use." /end id]

like the painted-royal feasts laios tries to partake in that never actually nourish him...

[id: laios, fresh out of the living painting feast, surprisedly holding his grumbling stomach /end id]

or, to the working class, it's pretty much exclusively fuel. i'm thinking about the scene where kabru's party, ostensibly intended to be our view into how adventuring Typically goes for most people, is shown preparing to go to the dungeon by like. walking up to someone and ordering 'a weeks' worth of rations.' purely functional.

[id: kabru enters a store, and the merchant says "welcome!"

kabru says "i need a week's worth of rations for six, and two days' worth of water."

"sure thing." the merchant then reaches behind him and grabs a large cube-shaped package, wrapped in nondescript cloth and tied in place. it thumps onto the counter in front of them both. /end id]

when kabru hands mickbell his food for the trip, he complains about how heavy it is on his back. it's a necessary liability.

we also see chilchuck, in an early chapter where there isn't much food to go around, grumbling about how he used to be better at not noticing when he was hungry. he's frustrated that he's more attuned to his bodily needs, now that he's starting to fill them with regularity.

[id: chilchuck, the only one awake, sits in his bedroll and glares at the timekeeping-candle burning down in front of him while he listens to his stomach growl. moving to find his canteen and fill himself with water instead, he thinks to himself, "my stomach has gotten weaker. i used to be able to go two days without food." /end id]

(like im not even gonna lie this is a big mood. the healing process is really really annoying)

even laios, early on, working out the logistics of going back for falin, considers his expenses and ultimately the thing he decides to save money on is their food supply. like, even the guy most invested in eating as an experience kind of just assumes he will Figure It Out. its what hes eating, not how hes eating it that matters to him at that point.

[id: marcille looks down at the ingredients they've gathered, the walking mushroom and the scorpion in an unappetizing heap on the ground, and asks laios "so how exactly do we eat them?"

he responds "let's just cook them, like normal." /end id]

but its here that senshi introduces the idea of food as art and as healing. its exciting and its fascinating for laios, getting to taste the creatures hes been reading about and fighting, but i dont think it would ever really help him feel full if not for this.

[id: three panels of laios tasting the scorpion hotpot, looking stunned, and then excitedly telling senshi "delicious!"

senshi matches his energy, asking "isn't it? isn't it?" /end id]

pictured: guy who had resigned himself to kind of just doing his best rediscovers the joy in something tasting really fucking good

what they did last time isnt going to work. falin is gone, and constantly anesthetizing their pain and healing through their weakness is no longer a realistic option for the party. in order to make it through they must all relearn how to eat well, one by one and as a group over and over again, because its either that or nothing.

one of my favorite depictions of this idea thus far is when marcille is seriously low on health and mana, and both of these problems are mitigated by taking care of herself, and trying to get iron and protein

[id: marcille, looking sickly, wakes to laios saying, "marcille, marcille, can you sit up? we've got something nice for you."

she watches senshi grill pieces of kelpie liver on a low fire, while laios ties a bib around her neck. /end id]

and drinking a bunch of dead water spirits. she gets the idea, she's supposed to get in nutrients and it'll help her feel better, but in aiming for the quick, inefficient fix, namely chugging that shit down like she heard it was good to Stay Hydrated and decided that would be the thing that fixes her,

[id: marcille throws back a cup of boiled undine-water, her face red. laios asks, "do you really need to drink it that fast?"

she gasps out "...the magical energy stored in nature spirits is actually quite hard to absorb. even if you drink a lot, the majority of it is excreted without being absorbed," and takes another drink. "that's why i need to drink as much as i can."

laios says weakly "you'll get water poisoning," but marcille only stops when senshi puts a hand on her shoulder and says,

"it's easier to absorb nutrients if ye digest them with food. that's a fundamental rule of nutrition."

marcille says, "senshi..." contemplative

and he holds out a bowl of tentuclus and a thumbs up. "let's get cooking!" /end id]

she doesn't immediately realize the answer is that she needs more than that. she's been working hard. she needs care, and she needs nourishment.

once she gets that, though, she makes her boiled water into a stew, and she works to make that stew as good as she can, and everyone can have some.

because in dungeon meshi, to feed yourself or allow yourself to be fed is treated as performing a kindness for yourself. food is what propels you, but there is also an art and a joy inherent to the process of making it; in the way you feel when you've had enough to eat.

[id: senshi watches as chilchuck and marcille eat and excitedly hash out plans.

"i've got a good feeling about this! maybe it'll work out!" chilchuck says

marcille responds, "well it's easier to feel optimistic on a full stomach!"

senshi smiles, proud. /end id]

^^^ i want to put this image on my wall

when you're working through disordered eating habits, you really do have to keep learning this shit. (in my experience, learning about cooking is one of the best ways to do so.)

i'll have to see if my thesis holds up as i continue, but i think one of the reasons the portrayal here resonates with me so hard is that ryoko kui puts most of her characters at eye level with me on this. they're all working at it, too. the text and i are both commiserating, and encouraging each other, 'have some more, you'll feel better.'

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?

thank you so much !!

i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]

and the obligatory bonus: