#Its just like deja vu. i dont know what causes it or why but i know its real

[born2b-beheaded]

Something I've been thinking about a lot recently is that in the beginning of fall while I was waiting for the bus, the air felt the same as it did when I was in 7th grade. I don't know how to explain it but you know what I mean. I got like. flashbacks to 7th grade and I was like "woah" and I started laughing. I didn't think anything of it. But these past few months I've been drawing So many similarities between this (school)year and 7th grade. Things like major depression, being suicidal, feeling more like a guy, my music taste, the red hair, messy ass room, and more and more. Hell, I'm even living in the same pants that I was back then. It's weird. It feels like that day back in fall was foreshadowing.

[lemonflavouredzest]

AUTISM TIME OKAY !! doing my redeemed durge cause i heart him more

He was born? Created? He's really unsure about the details, near a Selûne temple, and was raised by the monks and clerics there! Eventually Selûne blessed Eun, my durge, with healing powers, whether its because she was unaware of her heritage or in spite of it Eun doesn't know. HOWEVER he lost the powers when he embraced his nature and only got them back when his memories were lost, giving him a second chance [hence why he's level one]

He was fairly single, maybe had one off flings in taverns, but not really anything substantial. [Is AroAce spec and didnt really Notice]

His perseverance. He'll keep his friends alive despite his urges. He'll get through this okay. It's pretty accurate

His urges. He knows it can ruin everything for him, his relationships, his abilities, his goals. He's right.

He respects Selûne, but doesn't truly hate a god [other than his dad]. Eun knows that Sharrans can exist, and respects their existence despite them being "evil" solely, because it's needed in the way of life. Why would there be a need for the Moon if there was no darkness in night?

He wants to remember himself. He needs to drink up his past like a man lost in the desert. He regrets it and wishes he could forget.

Yes and No. He can recall Selûnite rituals and as he says them he pauses, trying to remember when He did it himself. He wouldnt recognise his Aunties and Uncles [the Selûnites that raised him] if you put a weapon to his throat. He just has weird deja vu constantly and Eun hates it.

Too quiet. Despite being a wood elf himself, he never really likes the wilderness. He hesitates at every meadow. He doesn't know why.

Cities feel like home. He likes the noise and likes seeing people live their life happily. There's some yearning in seeing people's peaceful life but... he likes it.

Eun doesn't eat the tadpoles [sorry this is how i describe it in my brain] and solely because "THERE'S TOO MUCH GOING ON IN MY BRAIN I DONT NEED MORE" However he collects them and keeps them as like Weird Pets

He's a life domain cleric, his hands were built to nuture and heal, not This. He's used to blood, but not by his own hands. Not Anymore. He hates how it makes him feel and he hates putting those he's meant to take care of in danger.

It makes Eun feel wrong. Like somethings itching under his skin. He doesn't talk about it much. However when it's... reclaimed in a way by his friends [like astarion calling him "bhaal-babe" or karlach calling him "old bhaalspawn] he doesn't mind it. It makes him feel normal.

See 11, unless not motivated by his urge then he'll do it to protect the ones he loves

AWFUL LIAR. he's 230 years old and doesn't know how to lie. Hells, he can barely talk to people. He was raised in a Temple and then got put in Another Temple. His social skills are rock bottom. He also HATES lying. Unless it's lies of omission. He'll take that

Other than Krackens? Losing control again. He won't let ANYONE control him or his friends again. He'll protect them by any means necessary

A world where there will be no one like him, where no one can experience the trauma of losing control of yourself or being forced to please someone above you. He knows it's unrealistic.

Killing Orin. Despite how "evil she was", No matter how many times she hurt him, she was abused and manipulated, Orin deserved a second chance. [Honourable mentions: Killing Alfira. He'll regret that forever. Being Unable to save Jaheira.]

He sees loves purpose. Platonic, Familial, Romantic, the in-between, he appreciates it. Usually from a distance, but on a rare chance, he gets to get it first hand.

Yeah!! Starting with the romantic, Astarion. They're both AroAce Spec and they both are... tentative. It's delicate, especially after the Alfira incident. Though Eun is so attached to Astarion after he helps through the night where.. Well. He Tried To Kill Astarion Before He Even Got To Confess. However what they have is real. They have their boundaries and they set em together. They get to be free in the end, and they're free together. They get a hairless cat together named Billy-Bob [because they let Karlach name it]. SPEAKING of Karlach, Eun and Karlach are besties. They find ways to send letters even while Wyll and Karlach are in Avernus. I heart Them.

Open with friends, Closed off with anyone else. He doesn't want the stigma, and since his friends don't really care much about stigmas he's appreciative.

Urgh thats a toughie. Skipping Music for now cause I genuinely can't use modern songs to describe him.

Just a sweet cleric! There could be no hidden evils in that smile /silly

He Needs people to think of him as a good person. He Needs them to think of him as a hero, cause if they don't. If they find out what he is and the bad things he used to do with a smile and how That Person saved Baulders Gate, technically from themself, he'll never be the same

No specific treasured item, however he appreciates people who can be so Dedicated to something that they have one!

He has a weird.. Love/Resentment relationship. Something about him makes his skin crawl however he has the familiarity of seeing your parent after college [using a modern metaphor lolz]. He hates him. He loves him. Eun hates that he loves him. He hates that he mourns a father figure who led him down a dark path.

Hates Him. He was never a father to him. Never a God To Him. His past may say otherwise, but his Past Isn't Him.

Pretty Okay with giving orders. Outside of combat he's ass at it though, if he's planning a quest with someone he'll end up doing some shit like "I need you to flank him, as he's espected to be here. Only if you want to- Well like we kinda need him dead, but- your comfort comes first! I'll be there with you to heal you if that helps you want to be there. Unless it doesn't then-" Taking orders in combats fine, outside of combat he's kinda abrasive unless it's a situation where the orders are needed.

Oh he's running around like a stressed doctor would be, but other than that he's great under pressure! He keeps his team alive, he keeps innocents alive, he even tries to keep damages to a space to a minimum. Even Though Gale Won't Because He Fucking Threw Fireball AGAIN-

Give yourself a break. You can't heal everyone. You can't fix everyone. Breathe. Enjoy retirement old man

He retires with Astarion, however he's always prepared for another Bhaalspawn. He researches and hopes he can find them first so he can save them, so there won't be another him or Orin.

30 Questions for your Dark Urge

These questions can be used as an Ask Game or just answering them all for fun character development!

(Tav edition here)

What circumstances led to your Dark Urge becoming their Class/Subclass?

Did your Dark Urge have any romantic and/or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single?

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate?

What would your Dark Urge consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

What opinion does your Dark Urge have about the Gods?

How does your Dark Urge react to waking up with memory loss?

Did your Dark Urge recall any childhood memories? If yes, how do they feel about the revelations? If no, was it by choice or lack of options?

How does your Dark Urge feel about the wilderness?

How does your Dark Urge feel about the city?

What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the tadpole?

What motivates your Dark Urge to either embrace or resist the Urge?

How does your Dark Urge feel about being a bhaalspawn?

How does your Dark Urge feel about killing?

How good of a liar is your Dark Urge? How do they feel about lying?

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest fear?

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest desire?

What is your Dark Urge’s greatest regret?

How does your Dark Urge feel about love?

Has your Dark Urge become particularly close to anyone romantically and/or platonically in their journey? If so, who, and what is the relationship like? If no, why not?

Is your Dark Urge open about their Urge or do they try to hide it? Why?

What are 2-3 songs that your Dark Urge would relate to?

What first impression does your Dark Urge give off to strangers?

How does your Dark Urge feel about what others think of them?

Does your Dark Urge have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general?

How does your Dark Urge feel about Sceleritas Fel?

How does your Dark Urge feel about Bhaal?

How does your Dark Urge feel about giving and receiving orders?

How well does your Dark Urge function under pressure?

What advice would you give to your Dark Urge?

What are your Dark Urge’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

[cherry-shipping]

SOMETIMES i get a little sad (only a little) about how my undertale s/i has nothing to do with the events in undertale whatsoever, and just. have no idea nor could never fully understand what frisk and everyone else went through down there. like, sure, they can tell stories and possibly even visit the underground (i assume some monsters wanted to stay down there, too) but like. they have no way of grasping everything that happened to everyone. and im happy with my s/i the way it is so i guess there could POSSIBLY be an au where they fall down WITH frisk and go through the story together, but. well that has a lot of plot holes LOL

[wickymicky]

i SUPER respect that SM continues to push boundaries and trust their new girl group, the successor to the legacy of Girls Generation, f(x), and Red Velvet, with a song like this, with basically no discernible verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus structure. that’s pretty bold lol. its a little bit of a shame that it’s not something totally original, and the song first appeared (in a much less fleshed out state) in that movie, but like aside from that, yeah, this is interesting. the management side of SM sucks shit, but the music production side of SM has been killing it for like 20+ years lol

[hermesserpent-stuff]

Can we get a side story of the new enforcers and their suits robbing the gold and spider-man has to stop his uncles, because even though mantana likes the kid he still has a job to do, bills to pay, and is scared of the big man. And to maybe make things worse for the man, big man has cameras in the get away train and Montana knows its to make sure that they dont take the big mans portion. Also peter probably helped tinker make the suits.

Spinning off this. Peter has worked on the suits a bit but they already existed before. I sorta do better with looser prompts cause I cant really control where the story goes lol thanks for the request.

Spider-man feels a bit of deja vu fighting the enforcers over another gold reserve. He flips over Shocker’s blast twirling to land on the wall and then leaping forward. Objectively he can understand why they are doing it. They had a job and had to do it much like Peter had a job he needed to do. And Montana had been very consistent about not using secrets against him or trying to convince him to not be a hero, so Peter feels obligated to return the favor. He would do his best fighting but he would be extra careful about bone breaking. He knows that his uncles will do the same.

Ricochet bounces him into Ox and Spider-man squirms and manages to flip the larger man. He is knocked off his feet by a blast from Shocker and he flips and cartwheels up a wall and shoots a web. He swings Shocker into the still-down Ox. Ricochet sails towards him and they end up crashing further away. Spider-man ends up under some rubble and takes a second to breathe and try to still the spinning dizziness. His spider-sense goes off and he shoves himself up and to the left, narrowly avoiding Richocet’s collapsible bo. He had helped design it and is pleased that desp[ite its collapsible nature it seems to be holding up really well to hitting concrete. 

He fights and lands a kick on the bo staff, barely surprised that it does not break. Spider-man uses it as a springboard to flip up and over. Ricochet is distracting him from the other Enforcers who are gathering the gold. Spider-man rolls as his spider-sense alerts him. Ricochet moves to block his path again. 

“Aww come on man. We did this song and dance before. I'm just gonna beat you all again.”

“Maybe I like dancing.”

Ricochet says, tapping his staff on the ground before shifting and jabbing at Spider-man. The teen dodges and tries to hit the staff out of Ricochet’s hand but the man collapses it, spins closer, and collapses it to deliver a quick and hard jab to Spider-man’s side. Painful. But clearly controlled when looked at through a critical eye. That position could have supported a more powerful whack. 

But still, it stings and Peter flips away, shooting out web. He aims one at Richochet’s feet, because yikes the man is fast, and another at a shelf. He yanks and it falls on his uncle. Spiderman throws a mental apology to his uncle and the cleaning crew and tosses himself down to the other end of the room.

Some of the gold is already in the train car and he knows he needs to focus on knocking his uncles out. They seem unaware that he is not still occupied with Ricochet so he uses the element of surprise to hit Shocker in the back with webs and swing the man away from the cart. Shocker twists and blasts at him. Spider-man dives out of the way and is forced into an extended roll to avoid Ox’s arms.

“What did you do with Ricochet?”

Shocker asks. The tone is angry. But it is a code and a game. Spider-man shoots more web as he replies.

“Squashed him like a bug. Like you threaten me with all the time! So I treated him like you treat me. Y’all rude. Honestly.”

Spider-man says the last part with a fake accent. The answer means more that just the words. Dan is fine. Probably about to re-enter the fight. Shocker responds by firing at him again.

“Don't mock me!”

“How is my mocking still so effective? I do it all the time. I figured you would get used to my charming personality at some point.”

A burst connects. Ow. Ricochet returns, looking a bit dusty, but unharmed. Ox picks up the dazed Spider-man and chucks him to the back of the room again. Oop. He lands in a tangle of shelves and struggles to get out. But the throw had been calculated. No sharp bits and not impossible to escape from. Just a slow-down tactic. The three Enforcers leave and Spider-man struggles out. They definitely were using their suits more effectively than that first heist, that is for sure. 

Spider-man darts out into the tunnel that holds the tracks and manages to aim and land a web on the back of the train. He crashes through the train window and immediately sees the cameras. Tink’s design. Meaning they still had eyes on them. Alright. Still not the time for friendly talk. 

Shocker dodges his kick and throws a punch of his own. He seems hesitant to use his gauntlets. It is an enclosed space and that would make a good excuse. Spider-man knows because they had talked a little bit about balancing not accidentally murdering each other with not having Tombstone murder his uncles for purposefully doing their jobs in a more limited capacity. Ricochet sweeps his legs and Peter rolls to avoid being lifted by Ox. Shocker manages to his stomach and Spider-man lets out a whine before using the wall he had been slammed into as a springboard to leap forwards. Ox grabs him mid-air and chucks him out the back. Spider-man rolls a bit and tries to shoot another web, but Ricochet is ready this time and activates his blade and swings through the web.

Shocker offers Spider-man a salute as the train car rounds a corner and is out of sight. Spider-man groans and lets himself lay still for a second. You win some you lose some. He would get them next time. No one got hurt and the Enforcers had definitely not gotten more than 30% of the gold. Oof. being family with villains is complicated. He is irritated with himself for failing but is happy that his uncles are still free. 

[genoc1d3r]

my turn to cry - thoughts on 3-1b

ok this has actually gotta be my favorite chapter cause holy shit so much stuff happened.

I played the Alice/kanna route and afterwards I watched a vod with the reko/shin route in which ranmaru and naomichi died before the banquet, so BIG SPOILER WARNING FOR BOTH ROUTES

Mafia Princess Sara??: Ok so first off, back in the beginning of 2020, I had a theory that Sara was a mafia heiress and that the death game was supposed to be something to “prepare” her. And that her memories were wiped or she was initially supposed to be kept blind to this whole thing (In 3-1a when everybody saw the consent form for the very first time everybody felt a sense of deja vu, except for Sara. Because why would they need her consent when she is the sole focus of the game and it’s all for her) This theory was mainly supplied by my confusion surrounding the hiring of Kai, cause why would mr Chidouin hire a former assassin to protect her?? How did he even know Kai??? But yeah, the whole thing with Shinobu Gokujo and deciding a new don through a death game just adds a lil more validity to this theory.

Sara’s real father: I also had a mini theory that Gashu Satou was her real father, but that was mostly cause of their hair color and how it would def make Sara’s hair color make more sense genetics-wise (but kai has black hair, so its most likely that his mother had black hair, which would also disprove this mini-theory but yk im not here to prove it just talk about it). And that Gashu knew of Mr. Chidouin and gave Sara to him, and it would also explain why mr Chidouin chose Kai of all people to look after her and why Kai could only watch her from a distance, in case she realized the truth that he was her brother/half-brother or something. 

GREENBLINGS CANON AAAAAAAA: I love this, I love this so much oh my god. Now I can replay and cry after 2-2 cause nankidai hates us :’). I dont have an issue with this specifically, I’m just a bit bothered by how the whole thing went. There was some buildup yea, and the cg with kanna, kugie, and shin was amazing. And that lil bit about nice hallucinations made me tear up a bit. But, then everybody kinda just moved on? and idk this whole chapter was a fuckign roller coaster I could barely keep up.

Autistic Gin <3: I’m autistic myself and I have seen many characters who are autistic-coded or exhibit many signs of autism but have never been straight up confirmed (Ex: Vera Misham from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney). And even then, these characters usually share similar personality traits like being aloof and reserved. So it’s nice to see that Gin is representing autism in a relatively realistic manner with his hyperfixations, vocal tics, and issues with socializing. Even after nearly dying like 17 times he’s still doing well and I genuinely wish for his survival and happiness.

Ranmaru’s death: Both of Ranmaru’s deaths, (if you or if you don’t fail the electricity absorption minigame) the death feels so... off? I was really attached to him as a character, yet his death didn’t impact as much as Joe’s or Nao’s did. During his Banquet death, one second he had his really cute smiling sprite but then whoops oh no guys weird drill screw thing kills him (again). I still can barely comprehend it because it all just happened so fast. Like no cg or anything. I was honestly kinda disappointed. The “delayed” one does a better job at his death scene, but again, it was wayyy too quick and completely dismissed as everybody just moves on to defeat Maple 2.0. I at least would’ve appreciated a better transition than Midori just saying “well anyways–”

 Ranmaru’s extremely quick descent into madness in the shin route: I actually liked this idea of Ranmaru willing to go to such extremes for Sara. However, theres barely time for any of this to develop? Like again, everything just happens so fast??? I would've definitely liked if there were little hints around before the body discovery that ranmaru was gonna do something like this, just a little time for development would really be cool.

Mr. Policeman/Mr. Tazuna???: After I finished, I actually looked on the wiki to see if it said anything about his son that he mentioned and I found this: 

But yeah thats cool

The thing about Q-taro: I’m gonna say it now, I’ve liked Q-taro ever since the aftermath of 1-2, and Q-taro haters have added absolutely nothing to this fandom. Everybody saw him as a child-hater, I see him as a guy who’ll do anything to survive and succeed. I mean that wish is kinda what got him into the death game. And yeah he did try to leave that one time, but that’s what getting thrown into traumatic killing games does for you, most people don’t want to die, they want to live, no matter what it takes. We can’t all be the main character and choose to cooperate with everybody and be the “good” person in that situation. Even Sara has those extremely selfish moments and those intrusive thoughts of winning and leaving. 

This whole thing should also be applied to Ranmaru. Ranmaru has gone through so much shit in such a brief amount of time, to the point where he was considering to/actually kill people to escape with the one person he trusted in this hellhole. In that situation, Sara’s kinda at fault here, cause without Joe she’s lost her sense of morality which resulted in her becoming selfish and well... honestly kinda toxic. This emotional manipulation is really what set Ranmaru off, however it was 100% his decision to fucking kill somebody and murder’s bad. Still love him though.

But back to Qtaro, I really enjoyed the extra substance given to him in this chapter, it’s nice to see the development from being selfish to feeling deep remorse to protecting the dolls of the first trial victims, most notably Mai. As he completely forgives her for stabbing him. The chapter did a great job at fueling my already intense love for Q-taro (and it actually convinced my best friend who claims to hate Q-taro with every bone of her body to like him too!) I also love the father-son dynamic between him and Gin. I find this relationship to be really important cause Gin’s father is an abusive alcoholic and Q-taro’s an orphan who’s never had a proper role-model in his life. So it’s beautiful that despite not having anybody there for him when he was younger he can still be a good figure for another child.

Predictions/hopes for the next part: 

I just want to see whether Shin already knew about Kanna being his sister, and if he doesn’t I want a reveal. Right. Now.

A Ranmaru/Joe/Q-taro/Kai/ “Hinako” revival, p l e a se  they died so soon

More info about the people involved in the Hades Incident/Shinobu Gokujo

More info regarding Meister

Sara going on Maury

Who tf is “Hinako”????

I really hope that there isn't any specific good/bad ending. Like I want every ending to be equally bad and good yk? like equal consequences and good stuff.

Yo wtf happened to Sara’s mom?? Is she gonna come back and play a more important role in the story?? Are her parents gonna come back as floor masters???

I want things to actually change  depending on whether you picked Alice or reko, cause so far they’ve played extremely minor roles.

[keingleichgewicht]

WERE YOU KIDDING ABOUT THE ASK GAME if not i dont have any specific lyrics in mind but i always thought the lyrics to the mill were so cool and maybe you could get some thoughts out of them? :0

YEAH GOD OKAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE MILL. LET’S TALK ABOUT UHHHHHHHHH [THROWS DARTBOARD]

this line. this MIGHT go on for a while so i will............  readmore

so the mill feels kind of notably different to the rest of the pafl songs, which tend to be unusually literal for lyric, either straightforward retellings of events (punch it, punk!) or character piece monologues set to plot visuals (strike 3) or both (all of them, but for instance particularly comfort zone, which is just dmitry’s horrible manifesto until it gets hijacked by a death sentence in the second verse.) the mill is a lot more like what we expect from poetry these days, which is to say it’s heavy on imagery, low on clarity, and fucking confusing!

I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold on to your battered hand Rocked to sleep beneath the snow, she is bathed in youthful glow ‘Strong enough to let it go,’ he says, but darling, I don’t know

a lot of the mill is about circles. this is in the name: a mill is something which turns. a waterwheel is a circle, a grindstone is a circle. it’s even in the melody: the chorus is a cyclic, pentatonic four-note riff that keeps going up and down and up its own ladder, chasing its own tail, not really reaching resolution. and then it’s also in, you know, the story:

the meat grinder!!!! everyone’s favorite fucking hellhole!!!! it is only semi-explicitly identified in the song but that’s because it’s a concept from the source material - both tarkovsky’s stalker and roadside picnic feature the meat-grinder, as a location nicknamed thus by stalkers because it is even more fucking deadly than the rest of the zone, all of which is already ridiculously fucking deadly, and if you’ve seen the movie:

it is more or less instantly recognizable in the mill as well. so here we have a circle! here we have a mill (the title has about seventy double meanings but this is certainly one of them,) and as it turns out, this mill at least will absolutely kill you. and horribly too. interestingly though, in roadside picnic (the book) the meat-grinder is not a tunnel, and it’s not round - it’s just a nondescript patch of ground which will wring you out like a dishcloth and kill you extremely dead if you walk into it. on the other hand what we have in the book in terms of circles is the golden ball, which is the equivalent of the movie’s the room, which is, well,

in short both stories ultimately hinge upon the idea that there is a something in the zone which can give you your heart’s desire. anything you want. everything you want. whatever you want. it is infinitely powerful; it is infinitely capable. the catch is that it will only give you what you want. the catch is that giving you what you want is not the same as giving you what you are asking for. the other catch is that in both cases you have to get through the meat-grinder first.

(so, by the way, what the fuck, right? does pafl’s zone have a wish-granting factory? is it also behind the grinder? where were the original trio going when they got themselves fucked up? and did they get there?)

but the point is: the golden ball, the wish-granting factory, is also a circle. it’s just sort of a sphere. it’s a big round fuckin yellow thing. you know, sorta like:

which is THE ONLY TIME yellow is used in occam’s razor not counting the full-colour shots, and it drives me CRAZY, but it is also me going full conspiracy board so let’s not even worry about it. THE POINT IS.

the circle is the death-machine and the wish-machine. neither of these things are really.... very good. the circle, or at least the arc, is also very closely associated with death:

(розовая дуга предрассветного, ‘rose arc of pre-dawn’. if i’ve fucked up that nominative please feel free to stone me to death!) 

in the gdoc notes to message lost ferry briefly refers to the dawn as if it were a good thing, the dawn of hope, which is a usage that sort of agrees with the desolate and deathless hope of strike 3′s ‘everything will pass / a day will come,’ but on the other hand it really is very closely associated with dying. nikolai bites it; nikita bites it; sergei and olga left significant chunks of themselves behind. and the thing about ‘this too shall pass’ is that it’s always true, as is ‘everything ends’, but of course that’s ‘cause the thing that ends might be you. and as we know

dawn is an ending. so that seems concerning!

i think the circle, the arc, the bolt falling back to the ground, is not a good thing. i am getting a little conspiracy board here in general but forgive me, i cannot make you a wholesome answer, my wit’s diseased. i think the circle is an enclosed space. it’s an unbroken cycle. it’s the grindstone. it’s the mill. it’s about what pafl’s always been about: about being trapped, about having no chances, about being bordered upon. the circle’s the geometric figure of equidistance from a given point, and you can walk on it forever, and nothing will ever change; you will never get closer, you will never get further away, you will never get out! the sun rises, the sun sets, and you are no closer to anything you wanted. it’s worth noting that anya’s borderline city, the zone-edge port town she complains is trying to crush all her dreams, her mill

is a circle. (a cog in a machine! a grind-wheel! a cage!)

and yura, whose dreams have already been burned out of him, who starts the series already resigned to never getting out of here, calls it ‘this dire deja-vu’, i am specifically resisting putting the accent marks back onto that, which is to say, it’s a repetition that haunts him. it’s going round and round and getting nowhere.

so if we bring it back around: drawing a line in the sand, as the phrase is generally used, means setting a border, means saying this far and no further. often it’s yourself you’re setting the border for. you hit some divide you can’t abide crossing so you say this stops here, it may be too early or too late, but i say it stops here. so logically: drawing a circle in the sand means you’ve locked yourself in completely.

I’ll draw a circle in the sand, drive myself around the bend in a desperate attempt to hold your battered hand

the whole first half of this song, i think, is olga promising to grind herself down in a hundred ways if it means she won’t be left alone. how hard can it be to never let it overflow? she may feel lower than the low, she may wish she could just disappear out here, into the postindustrial rust, but though it gets harder all the time she will keep pretending. she isn’t going to burden sergei, or indeed anyone, with her problems, her fears, her scars. she is hurt, but she’s used to it, she’s gotten used to being haunted long ago. she keeps her bad eye covered. she stays within her circle she has drawn. she keeps going round and round. she will take the smallest sliver of human connection and be happy, she promises she will be happy, she promises she won’t ask for more, she will take just the ‘hello.’

but you knooooow it’s not true. you know it’s grinding her down, that she’ll be milled to nothing pretty soon, and really she knows it too.

i am perhaps seventy percent sure that this line is a reference to the windmills of your mind by michel legrande, which features such lines as

Like a tunnel that you follow to a tunnel of its own Down a hollow to a cavern where the sun has never shone Like the circles that you find in the windmills of your mind

which on one hand seems sort of obscure to be a purposeful reference but on the other hand would be a hell of a coincidence if it wasn’t, wouldn’t it. either way it characterizes circles ambiguously, but definitely unsettlingly. going around in circles is chasing infinity, but what in god’s name would you do with it if you caught it? what are you even hoping to accomplish? and: 

the second half of this song is bitterer, sharper - staring down the mouth of the meat-grinder she’s a little more willing to admit to herself that this is going nowhere. she is running out of cages to keep herself in. she is very tired. it’s easy to say why don’t you leave it all behind, it’s easy to say, she’s strong enough to let it go, it’s easy to say, too strong to die. it is a lot harder to actually live.

this is also where the flashbacks admit to us how badly hurt they really were - sergei with his whole side in shreds, she still hides her eye but at least we get to see it’s bleeding. this moral compass is forever misaligned, she says, so there is damage, and it is lasting. and she can’t settle for hello, she can’t live like this, she needs someone by her side. the trouble is whether she can believe she has any hope of getting that

as for who ‘her’ is, or the ‘she’ of ‘she is bathed in youthful glow’, i figure there’s two possibilities: either it’s nadya, who haunts olga too, because nikita’s abandonment of nadya represents exactly what she most fears for herself, or it’s olga’s younger, unbroken, binocular self - both of whom were so young, and so easily hurt, and are now unfindable.

and then there’s this conclusion: ‘the sun will rise, until then / i’ll be waiting for you on the other side.’ which maybe is a sort of hope after all? she’s reached no real conclusions in the zone - she knows there must be hope but she can only barely believe in it - she thinks she is destined to self-destruct. but on the other hand she still has that, a version of sergei’s own ‘a day will come’

you may be hurt, but if you can hold yourself together, you can hope for a dawn someday. an ending. a change. but the trouble’s that there’s more than one kind of ending. and there’s more than one meaning for other side. there are cages, and then there are cages. and you know what else looks like a tunnel, a circle?

staring down the barrel of the gun.

[wherethewordsare]

Sweater Weather- Mutual Pining for Jay’s 400 Follower Bingo!!

He’d found it after a movie night, draped over the back of the couch. He held it up to confirm and yep. There was no mistaking the hood and the bulky black sleeves. It looked like it may have gone through the dryer about twelve times too many and the zipper pull was barely hanging on. He let his thumb rub against the hem of the sleeve, shaking his head. Jaskier tucked the hoodie under his arm as he pulled out his phone, smiling to himself. 

geralt

u left ur hoodie

its cold and everything how do u forget that

ur worse than ciri smh 

Just hold onto it, I’ll grab it next time. 

And I am not worse than Ciri. I’m not the one who’s left his phone in the Denny’s bathroom at 2am…. Twice…

Last month. 

shhhhh :P

Throwing his phone down, Jaskier went to his closet. He was going to just hang up the hoodie and Geralt would get it eventually. Honestly, he was going to put it away. But then he pressed his face into the shoulder and sighed.  

This was wrong. He should just hang it up and return it when they saw each other again. He wasn’t about to let this silly little infatuation with Geralt ruin a perfectly good friendship. Especially not over a stupid hoodie.

Unfortunately, Jaskier's self restraint had taken the night off. Before he could stop himself, Jaskier was sliding his arms in, zipping up the front and crawling into bed. One night of indulging wasn’t going to hurt anyone. Even if it felt like his chest was splitting open. He shifted a little under the covers, burying his nose into the collar as he drifted off to sleep. They had been through so much together since they met in high school, wasn’t Jaskier allowed this one little thing, just this once?

-o-O-o-

i still have ur hoodie

u want it back cause we could like meet up for coffee 

we could go to the nag :) 

He snapped a picture of the hoodie and a travel mug in his passenger seat, sending it off. 

Can’t today. :(

Parent teacher meetings and then Dad wants us to help him fix the roof.

I could use my hoodie today, it’s cold… 

omgl finally

thought id have to do it

Jask… no. 

:/ fine then

see if i try to be helpful again

jk jk

dont die

I dont wanna do handywork :3 

Geralt had been right. It was cold, and Jaskier had forgotten his own jacket at home. He frowned down at the hoodie and sighed. It was only because it was chilly. Nothing else. He tried to ignore how it still smelled so strongly of Geralt. He walked around the gallery wrapped in Geralt’s hoodie, the front unzipped and his hands buried in the sleeves. 

-o-O-o-

hehe crispy leaf time

the cold is coming 

Yes, Jaskier. That’s how seasons work

u know what that means~

Geralt did not in fact, know what that meant but he soon found out. He was in the middle of typing when a picture came up with the caption “stolen hoodie weather :3” with Jaskier curled up on his couch at home, snuggled up in the black zip up hoodie Geralt only remembered leaving there early last Spring. 

Something in his stomach flipped and he looked around to make sure no one was watching him. Why? Why would it matter if someone saw him? It was just Jaskier.

He frowned and started typing again. He stopped and erased it, fighting down the small smile that was starting to tilt the corners of his mouth. 

You kept it?

Way to go, Geralt. That was really fucking smooth. What was he supposed to mean by that?

unlike u :(((

abandoner of hoodies

some of us appreciate the gift of comfort geralt

Geralt felt like his brain was melting. That thing in his stomach seemed to purr with satisfaction at the idea of Jaskier wearing his hoodie. It was petty and ridiculous and oh no, Geralt couldn't take his eyes off the way the black material framed Jaskier's collarbone. 

No. No no. This way lay madness, he told himself. He would simply get the hoodie back and that was that. 

hey when do u wanna do our next movie night

its been like

7099039 years

Geralt hesitated for a moment. He had never hesitated when it came to Jaskier. They had known each other for far too long. 

Sure. My turn to pick?

not if u choose a history documentary

Spy movie?

:0 promise?

yes pls

Should I bring wine?

Wait, no that would be a very bad idea. 

:) you know it

bring the good shit

eskels secret one

i know you can find it 

It’s called “google” Jaskier. Even I know that. And I will see what I can do.

same time and place as normal right

It’s a date.

Geralt felt as though his soul had left his body when he had hit send. Had he lost his entire mind? He was in the middle of typing a follow up, trying to word the best way to dismiss his complete and total departure from sanity when the little dots popped up then disappeared then popped up again.

It’s a date. :)

Jaskier nearly slammed the door back into Geralt’s face in shock. Geralt was standing in the hall, bottle of wine in one hand, movie and carry out in the other. Then there was the shirt. Jaskier had actually helped him pick it out. The black button up, the sleeves rolled up and was his hair actually combed back? He looked good. Jaskier swallowed hard. He looked really damn good. 

But that wasn’t even the weird part. No, the weird part was the way Geralt’s eyes widened when he had opened the door. He recovered quickly though, nodding at Jaskier as he stepped in. 

“Didn’t think you’d let the apartment be cold enough you’d need to wear a hoodie.” He smirked, setting the bag down on the table before going right into the kitchen. 

“Comfort, Geralt. I’m telling you, I just don’t think you appreciate it enough.”  Jaskier followed him in. It was routine for them, the way Geralt got the wine open, Jaskier grabbed plates and silverware; the way they bickered and snarked, barely suppressing laughs through barbs. 

-o-O-o-

The coffee table was littered with cartons of orange chicken and fried noodles. Geralt set his plate down as he leaned back, slinging his arm across the back of the couch. He had to smile at the sense of deja vu that struck him. Casino Royale wasn’t just a comfort movie for them. It had been their first movie night nearly fifteen years ago. 

By now, they could practically quote the entire thing, make quips at Bond’s smugness and only just sit through that one scene without wincing. At least that’s what they told themselves. 

Now they watched as Bond and Vesper reconnect outside of that fancy English rehab center. Jaskier chorused him as they both rolled their eyes and sighed at Bond’s shitty lines about little fingers. 

“God he’s the worst.” Jaskier took a sip of wine, making a gagging sound. 

“Quantum still exists.” he chuckled. 

“Valid!” Jaskier set his wine down. 

Geralt leaned over as Bond delivered his next line, syncing his tone and dropping into a soft gravelly murmur. 

“Whatever I am, I’m yours.” It was supposed to be cheesy and ridiculous but Geralt found that it felt far too honest. There was truth to them that he couldn’t think to deny now.

Jaskier nearly choked as he looked up, his eyes going wide. Geralt watched as he leaned into his personal space. Time felt like it stuttered to a halt in that moment, Jaskier inches from him, still draped in his hoodie. Geralt wet his lips anxiously. The tension between them felt like a powerline pulled too tight; everything seemed to crackle with it. 

“Geralt-” 

Whatever he was going to say was lost the second Geralt closed the distance, pressing his mouth to Jaskier’s. It was nearly magnetic and there was no pulling away. Geralt’s hands strayed down to Jaskier’s thighs without his realizing it. There was no way he could stop himself now. He’d wanted this for far too long to just let it go. Part of him would mourn the loss of his oldest friendship, but that was Tomorrow Geralt’s problem. 

Jaskier’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer as Geralt tugged Jaskier into his lap clumsily. 

Geralt had to break the kiss first, pulling back gasping for air and pressing their foreheads together.

“Jask… Wait. Wait,” Geralt choked. He had to tilt his head back to get his words out as Jaskier dipped back in to start kissing him again. “Shit. Jaskier…” He already sounded wrecked to his own ears. His hands were on Jaskier’s hips, thumbs rubbing soft circles against his sides as he looked up, eyes searching. “Are you sure you want this?” 

He needed to hear it. He needed to know he was allowed to have this. It was one thing to say it would be Tomorrow Geralt’s problem, but it was another to actively throw away the best friendship he had ever had. He had spent too long pretending they could be just friends for it to fall apart like this. 

Jaskier crowded in closer and it took everything in him not to just give in to it because fuck that felt amazing. There was an easy smile across his lips that made Geralt feel like he was starving. 

“Geralt, I swear to the gods, don’t you dare start questioning this now,” as open as his face was, his voice trembled slightly. It was then that Geralt realized that Jaskier was practically vibrating under his palms. It was instinct the way he wrapped his arms around Jaskier’s middle, pulling him closer. “I’ve been wanting this for at least a solid decade.” 

Geralt blinked hard as he gaped up at Jaskier. 

“Are you really that surprised, Geralt?” Jaskier hummed, leaning back down and pressing a surprisingly chaste kiss to his cheek.

“Hmm. Maybe not.” He found himself chuckling, trying to breathe around the bubble of light that was threatening to fill his entire chest. He caught Jaskier’s mouth again, his hand coming up to slide into his hair, holding him close. 

It was hard to tell who had deepened the kiss further but the laughter died on his tongue when he felt Jaskier roll his hips down into his lap. Suddenly everything was too much and achingly not enough. The hoodie slipped down Jaskier’s shoulders and what little attention span Geralt had left zeroed into that same spot along Jaskier’s collarbone. 

Pulling Jaskier closer, he made a trail of graceless open mouthed kisses along his jaw and down the firm column of his neck, his teeth raking over the spot with careless abandon. He was rewarded with a soft keen and Jaskier squirming in his arms. Long dexterous fingers wound into his hair, cradling his head as his own found their way up the back of Jaskier’s shirt. 

“Geralt-” There was a tug in his hair and fuck shit yes. He must have made some kind of noise because he felt Jaskier chuckle fondly. “Geralt, as much as I am enjoying this,” he gasped, back arching as Geralt nipped just below his ear, “Bedroom. Now.”

There was no arguing with that tone nor could he bring himself to find anything to argue about. Geralt tilted his head back up, Jaskier’s lips crushing in against his, taking every last remaining shred of doubt away. He felt his body switch to autopilot as he scooped Jaskier up from under his thighs, pleased at the way his legs wrapped around him automatically. He carried him easily, stopping only for a moment to pin Jaskier to the wall to adjust his grip under him, long enough to flick the lights off. 

Jaskier snorted, pulling away. “So considerate.” He teased. Geralt gave him a playful swat on his thigh and the chuckling was cut off by one of those delicious keening noises. 

Geralt half stumbled, half marched to where he knew Jaskier’s bedroom to be, blindly pushing the door open with his foot. He let himself bask in the heat of Jaskier’s body pressed to his, taking his bottom lip and biting it. 

The reality of where he was came crashing down on him and time was doing that thing again, slowing down as someone else with his hands kneeled against the side of the bed, letting them both tumble back into ridiculously lavish sheets. Years of habitual teasing were only tamped down by Jaskier’s insistent fingers making quick work of the buttons on the front of Geralt’s shirt. 

“You just had to wear this one, didn’t you.” Apparently not everyone was so distracted not to tease. “Do you know how hard it was not to just pull you into my apartment and kiss that ridiculous face of yours?” 

Geralt gave a wry smile. “Do you know how hard it’s been for fifteen years, being your best friend and thinking I would never get to kiss that beautiful face of yours?” 

He had to bite the inside of his lip as Jaskier’s whole face and neck flushed brilliant pink in the low light. 

“Geralt!” he practically whined and Geralt couldn’t stop from laughing softly at that, bending back down to kiss him again. He decided he couldn’t help himself, not really. 

This was too good. If he could just bottle this moment and tuck it away for every rainy day for the rest of his life, he would.  

“I guess I’ll just have to make it up to you now.” Geralt hummed happily. He shifted, the hand under Jaskier’s thigh moving to tug his hips flush with Geralt’s as his other hand moved to cup his face. “As long as you’re okay with that.” 

Geralt was pretty sure they were too far gone to ever go back, but even now, he had to make sure.

“Geralt Roger Eric…” Jaskier groused. “If you do not come back down here and kiss-” his words were muffled by Geralt’s mouth, his tongue sliding over Jaskier’s bottom lip and swallowing whatever ridiculous threats may have been lobbed at him. 

He found that kissing Jaskier had been easier than breathing. Before he knew it, Geralt was pulling back to pull off his shirt but his hands froze. He cursed under what breath he had left because the view of Jaskier under him, lips kiss bruised and shining, the needy look in his eyes, and the way his hair was pushed in every direction nearly undid Geralt completely. 

He snapped back to work, stripping out of his shirt and pushing at his jeans, letting them slide away. 

“C'mere you gorgeous thing.” Geralt murmured softly, pulling Jaskier to him before rolling, his back pressed up against the headboard. 

Jaskier shimmied out of his own jeans before straddling Geralt’s thighs, letting his fingers trail up the planes of Geralt’s chest, a stray fingernail grazing over his nipple, making him groan. Jaskier only grinned, leaning in, and nipping at Geralt’s neck. 

All Geralt could do was groan and tilt his head back, his hands sliding over Jaskier’s back. He was just aware enough to realize when Jaskier started to work his way down his body. Looking down, he watched in complete awe as nimble fingers hooked into his boxers. 

The first touch of Jaskier’s mouth to the jut of Geralt’s hip had his blood singing and he could only drop his head back against the wall. He hadn’t realized how achingly hard he was until Jaskier was biting down gently on Geralt’s upper thigh making him jump. 

There was a low chuckle from somewhere around his groin and then there was a sharp tug on his boxers. Jaskier wasted no time getting a hand around Geralt’s cock while he still playfully nipped at Geralt’s hip and thigh and abs. This was how he was going to die, he thought absently as he let his hand move to the back of Jaskier’s head. He let his fingers tangle there, tugging gently and Jaskier seemed to get the message though he could feel the smirk against his inner thigh. 

The weight of Jaskier between his thighs, one hand sliding up Geralt’s torso as the other stroked him lightly left Geralt breathless, his eyes fluttering at every touch. But it was when Jaskier wrapped his mouth around the head of his cock that Geralt felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin. He bucked his hips instinctively into the hot slick of Jaskier’s mouth before he could stop himself. 

For long moments, all Geralt could do was hold on. Jaskier took him slowly, seeming to savor the newly found ground between them as he bobbed further and further until Geralt was nudging the back of his throat. He gasped, his back arching when Jaskier swallowed around him, his responding hum a little too self satisfied. 

Geralt tightened his grip in Jaskier’s hair only slightly, tugging him up. It was messy and Jaskier’s mouth was open and slick, his eyes glazed slightly with a need that left Geralt breathless. He looked debauched and it was honestly the most beautiful thing Geralt had ever seen. 

“Fuck,” he groaned pulling Jaskier back into his lap, his hips stuttering to grind up against Jaskier’s thigh. 

Jaskier pressed in close, panting slightly as he broke a kiss that had been more teeth than anything, leaning his forehead to Geralt’s. “Mm, fuck. We- Ah,” He chuckled as Geralt dipped in to kiss him again, dodging away gracefully. “Geralt, I need-” he licked his lips , taking a shaky breath. “Want you to-” 

Geralt was already nodding. He would agree to anything Jaskier asked for but the way his hips ground down against Geralt’s lap, it wasn’t hard to fill in the blanks. He wrapped a strong arm around Jaskier’s middle, rolling them gently until Jaskier was under him his knees still bracketed around Geralt’s thighs as he arched and keened.

“Under the notebook in the-” Jaskier breathed his hands not leaving Geralt’s skin for a moment, fingers greedily mapping out the lines of his back. 

“I know, you haven’t changed your hiding place since college,” Geralt teased. To his surprise Jaskier snorted under him, his head tilting back in the pillows as he laughed. It left the column of his neck exposed to Geralt and he couldn’t help himself but lean down and bite small marks into it. He was rewarded by more delicious noises endlessly streaming from Jaskier. 

He pulled away only for the time it would take to retrieve the lube before sliding back down into Jaskier’s arms and kissing him thoroughly. His hands traveled down Jaskier’s bare chest, his fingers brushing along the top of his boxers and he gave a low huff into Jaskier’s mouth. 

“Why are these still on?” he grumbled, smirking when Jaskier rolled his eyes at him. 

“Someone’s been slacking in getting me undressed,” Jaskier shot back. 

TheirThere next kiss was a mess of chuckles and grins. Geralt shifted them again, moving to get Jaskier’s boxers down. The laughter died in Jaskier’s throat when Geralt’s fingers brushed low down his back and grazed over the swell of his ass, he buried his face into Geralt’s neck. Geralt didn’t tease for long before pulling away. It made Jaskier groan and nip at his neck until slick fingers returned to his entrance, circling slowly. 

“Fuck!” Jaskier moaned, his hips already rocking back greedily. 

Geralt quietly cursed himself for letting so much time get away from him as he slowly worked Jaskier open, enjoying the way he shivered and babbled under him with every push of his fingers. When he slipped a third finger in, Jaskier bucked under him, his eyes slamming shut as he gave a shout. 

“Geralt! Fuck, dear heart, please, for the love of all that is good-” he pleaded, his hips rocking back onto Geralt’s fingers eagerly. “If you don’t fuck me soon I’m going to combust.” 

Geralt leaned down, muffling the rest of the curses that were probably coming with a hard kiss. Jaskier arched under him as he pulled his hands away. It was easy after that, letting their bodies slot together and letting himself slide into Jaskier’s tight warmth. It felt like a gut punch. It felt like coming home. 

Jaskier wound his legs around his waist, hands reaching up to thread into Geralt’s hair as he rolled his hips, taking Geralt deeper, causing them both to groan. 

“Jask.” Geralt pressed his face to Jaskier’s shoulder panting as he started a steady pace. Soon only the sound of their heavy breathing and Jaskier’s soft moans filled the room around them. 

Time around them seemed to hold still as Jaskier tugged gently on Geralt’s hair, prying him away from his shoulder to look him in the eyes. The look Geralt found there left the world spinning. Jaskier’s eyes were bright and his smile warm even as his cheeks flushed. He was pliant and open and completely wrecked and the sight of him tugged at Geralt’s chest. The words came tumbling out before he could stop himself, his hips slowly rolling into Jaskier as they moved. 

“I love you, Julek,” he murmured as he kissed him slowly. 

Jaskier whined under him, his fingers tightening in Geralt’s hair, pulling him impossibly closer. When they finally broke apart to gasp for air, Jaskier's eyes were searching his as he bit his lip around a low moan. He huffed a wet sounding laugh as a hand slid from Geralt’s hair to rest on his cheek, a well calloused thumb tracing along his chin. “Oh, dear heart,” he shifted, canting his hips to make Geralt move. The angle shifted and Geralt seemed to nudge right against where Jaskier needed him most as he arched from the mattress and groaned. 

Geralt pushed up to sit, pulling Jaskier up with him until he was in his lap. They rocked together, shuddering every time Geralt bottomed out. He gripped Jaskier’s hip tightly with one hand as his other slid between them, wrapping around Jaskier’s cock. Jaskier pushed up into his hand, swaying between his grip and his cock, they both seemed drunk on it. It was only a matter of time after that that Jaskier was crying out, Geralt’s name tumbling from his lips, his orgasm tearing through him like a whirlwind and Geralt could do nothing but hold onto him. 

Geralt steadied him, his hand holding Jaskier still as he thrust up into him, reveling in the small fucked out noises Jaskier whimpered into his neck before he too was shaking apart, spilling into Jaskier with a low satisfied rumble. 

They kissed again, lazy and sated, their chests a mess with Jaskier’s spend. He broke the kiss first, pulling back with that smile that always left Geralt feeling dazed.

“I love you, too. I love-” he didn’t get to finish because Geralt was pressing him down into the mattress again with a hard kiss, smiling. 

He was allowed. Everything that had happened seemed to catch up with him but instead of the sheer panic he had been expecting, the only thing that wrapped around him in that moment was the bright light that was Jaskier’s answering laugh. 

--

Everything was sore but in that pleasant kind of way after a good lay. Jaskier rolled over, pressing his nose into the pillow beside him. He smiled when he realized it still smelled like Geralt. 

Geralt. Fuck!

His hand reached out before he let himself open his eyes, wincing against the bright morning light that streamed in through his windows. The space beside him was empty.

But… Geralt had said it first? Where-? Jaskier’s heart sank, his throat tightening. He knew it was too good to be true. The moment Geralt had kissed him on the couch, he had pushed down every part of him that had screamed that he was going to end up hurt by time the sun came. 

He reached for his phone though he didn’t know who he was going to text. Essi wouldn’t even be awake yet on a Saturday. The space by his lamp was also empty. He realized he must have left his phone in the living room the night before when-

He tried not to think about how easily Geralt had lifted him up and carried him to bed. He had tried not to think about how there were now bruises on his hips that were shaped like Geralt’s hands or the trail of stinging bites that he would have to carry around his empty apartment for days. He pressed the heals of his hands to his eyes and groaned. 

“Idiot,” he berated himself. 

“Cause you left your phone in the living room and now it’s dead?” Geralt asked, pushing the door open with his foot. He was in a pair of Jaskier’s sweatpants and nothing else carrying in two cups of coffee. He looked up from where he had been concentrating, trying not to spill them. “What?”

“You’re here,” Jaskier chuckled. Something in his chest lifted and he let go of a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. 

“I… yes?” Geralt looked around. There was a lovely mark in the shape of Jaskier’s mouth on his shoulder and it made Jaskier’s toes curl. Geralt looked at the space beside Jaskier then at his face. He made a little oh with his mouth before he started to shake his head. “Oh! I see, hmm.” He set the coffee down gently on the side table and slid back into bed and into Jaskier’s arms. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” 

“So we’re…” Jaskier looked away, rubbing his palms over his covered thighs. “We’re okay?” He didn’t dare hope. Not just yet. Not in the bright light of day. 

“Well, that depends,” Geralt  chuckled, pulling him into  his lap easily. He leaned in and kissed Jaskier’s chin. “Yenn messaged. Something about brunch. I think they know. Are you okay with that?”

Jaskier snorted, leaning over to grab his coffee. “Essi. I told her it was just movie night. I tell her it’s just movie night every time and-” He realized what he was saying, the cup of coffee hovering just at his lips. He looked sideways at Geralt who was tilting his head and smirking. 

“The biggest gossip we know and that’s the one you decide to confide in?” He took the cup from Jaskier’s hands and set it down again before rolling them both to pin Jaskier under him. 

Jaskier squawked indignity, his arms wrapping around Geralt. He let himself be kissed and hummed happily when Geralt slotted easily back between his thighs. 

“We’re going to be late for brunch,” he sighed as Geralt’s hand slipped down to his thigh, fingers brushing gently over the marks from the night before. 

“Hmm, don’t care.” 

They ended up missing brunch altogether but neither seemed to mind. 

---

The weather was crisp and dry and Jaskier was bundled in the black hoodie, but now pressed against Geralt’s side as they walked into Magnolia’s. It had been easier than Geralt was expecting though he groaned as he watched several fairly large wads of cash exchange hands. 

“Pay up, Jask,” Essi grinned. 

“What?” Geralt turned, scowling. Jaskier gave a chagrined shrug as he handed over money. “So little faith?” Geralt teased. 

“You too, pretty boy!” Lambert smirked across the table. 

Jaskier gasped beside him, leaning away “So little faith, Geralt?” The sleeves of the hoodie fell over his wrists and Geralt only smiled, pulling him back against his side. 

“I don’t mind being wrong this time.” 

[bnhaficsforthesoul]

Shinsou, Bakugou, Todoroki, and Kaminari Soulmate AU

Shinsou

A time frame where you are near your soulmate is repeated until you meet them

"And the winner is... Midoriya Izuku!!!"

Present Mics voice rang through the stadium as Deku stood in the ring, staring at the boy he was fighting

A purple haired boy, named Shinsou something

You stared at him as he angrily walked off the stage, and as he paused while he listened to his classmates cheer him on

You felt bad for him, something in his eyes told you this match meant a lot to him

You thought about going down to talk to him, but then Ochako grabbed your arm

"Deku won! I'm so glad!"

Deciding to continue watching the fights instead, you sat back in your seat

"And the winner is... Midoryia Izuku!!!"

Present Mics voice rang throughout the stadium as Deku stood in the - Shinsou looked upset...

He stomped off of the stage, only stopping when his class mates cheered for him

People seemed to be cheering for Deku... but he did good too

You wanted to go congratulate him, so you stood up from your seat

"Y/n? Where are you going? Oh! Are you going to congratulate Deku? I'll come with you!" With that, Ochako dragged you off to see Deku, causing you to miss Shinsou watching you

"And the winner is... Midoriya Izuku!!!

Shinsou seemed shocked, he just stood there, looking around at the audience

Was he gauging their reaction?

No, he was looking at you

You dont know why, but you stood up from your seat, ignoring Ochako's questions as you ran down the stairs to where you knew Shinsou would be

You ran down the hall, where he was barely entering, and you paused

You stared at each other, both unsure of exactly what was happening

"Uh... good job on the match!"

"Thanks..."

Something was off, you both felt it

You should just leave it at that, but you want to stay

"This... might be a weird question since I dont even know your name... but are you busy on Friday?"

Luckily, your weird case of deja vu seemed to stop after that

Bakugou

You switch bodies with your soulmate within the months coming up to you meeting them

What in the hell is going on

One second you were walking home from school and the next

You were standing in front of a green haired boy?

He seemed confused by your state as well, but ran off before you could ask what was up

"Come on Bakugou, let's go."

The two boys standing behind you pulled you with them, and you frowned

"Wha-"

Just as suddenly as it had started, it stopped, and you were back where you were

Except, your bag was now on the floor with its contents strewn about

A few months later, you were taking the U.A. entrance exam

Everything was going fine when

Suddenly you were on the other side of the test zone, surrounded by broken robots

You looked around, seeing some of the other test takers

Seeing a robot coming, your first instinct was to use your quirk to destroy it, but explosions came out of your hands?

The last thing you heard before you were back to normal was a very familiar voice screaming

First day of class! You were super excited- now on your way to become a pro hero

Except- your teacher was insane

A test on the first day of school!?? And we might get expelled???? Fucccc

You were so worried you barely listened to what Aizawa sensei was saying other than you could use your quirks, but then you heard a familiar name

Bakugou was called up to demonstrate, and you stared at him, confused

Now that you thought about it, the green haired boy next to you also looked really familiar

But! This isnt the time, so you pushed those thoughts aside and focused on how you would do the tests

Everything went fine so far, and now you were back to the ball throw

"Y/n, you're up."

You sighed, walking into the circle, ready to use your quirk and throw the ball when -

"What the fuck?"

You were standing further back now, wait, that's you

Aizawa looked pissed, "are you going to throw it or not?"

You watched as your body looked at him, growling, "I already threw the fucking ball! What the hell is going on?"

He turned his head to the side, only to see... himself

What

You two stared at each other, confused, until you pointed at him

"You're the one I've been switching bodies with!?"

"Huh? That was fucking you??"

Aizawa, seemingly understanding, pulled you both to the side

"Congrats, you found your soulmates. Now, y/l/n, as soon as you're back in your body, we still need to test you."

You nodded and he walked away, leaving you with Bakugou, who only growled and stomped away

It only took a few more minutes for you to switch back, and you finished your test fine

A few days later, you were walking down the hallways after school when Bakugou ran up to you

"*cough* so... since were soulmates... I guess we should get to know each other.... are you busy tonight?"

Todoroki

You can feel the same temperature as your soulmate

It was weird

When you were little, it always seemed like your right side was freezing

But your left side was burning

There was even a time when the left side of your face was burning so badly you thought it would melt off

But it later stopped, and you only felt the cold

You wondered what happened, you missed the warmth that balanced you out

It comforted you, and you were forced to compensate with hoodies and heat packs

Recently, you had started school at U.A., in the hero's course

It wasn't hard to figure out Todoroki was your soulmate

His constant use of ice on his right side, and your constant coldness on your right

The burn scar on his face only brought bad memories of when you were sobbing into your pillow at the burning pain and holding an ice pack as tightly as you could to it

Then knowing that he could use fire on his other side, it all made sense

But - he wanted nothing to do with you

It wasn't that you told him you were soulmates and he rejected you, but he seemed set on avoiding everyone as much as possible, making it impossible for you to do anything

Then, the Sports festival came

Deku and he were fighting

You were practically freezing with how much he was using his ice

But then, the heat came back

Flames burst out of Todorokis left, and you felt them inside of you

It almost hurt, but with how badly you had missed the warmth, you were so excited

"Yes, Todoroki!!!!!"

He looked up at you, seeing you cheer as loud as you could for him, and he smiled softly thinking of the support from his new peers

After the match, he was walking back to the waiting room when you ran up to him

"Great job Todoroki!"

He didn't know why you were being so supportive right now, but he smiled softly at you and gave you a quiet thanks before walking past

That was progress!

So, you took a risk and

"I missed the heat, you know. I'm guessing you have plenty of reasons you stopped using it, but you left me pretty cold all the time buddy"

He stopped, and slowly turned around with furrowed brows

He remembered all the times he was using his ice only to suddenly feel enveloped by a warmth that shouldn't be there

Or when his mother poured boiling water on him, under all of the burning there was a presence of cold

"That... was you?"

You nodded, "Todoroki, I think we're soulmates. "

He didn't say anything, and just stared at you, before pulling you into a tight hug

He felt so... warm

Kaminari

You and your soulmate can communicate through your thoughts - but only when you're close

You were taking the U.A. entrance exam, and god were you fucked

You had no time to study, focusing on your physical training instead for that portion of the test

'Fuck fuck fuck'

'Whoa, what's wrong there friend?'

Uhm, excuse me??

Who said that

'Uh, who are you?'

'Kaminari Denki, you?

You remembered hearing one time when you were little about types of soulmates, and remembered how some could talk through your thoughts

'Y/l/n y/n.... so, were soulmates?'

'Oh ya!!! How cool!! Wait, are you smart? I'm taking a big test right now and god I'm going to fail.'

'Wait, me too... what test'

'U.A entrance exam'

You looked around the room, blushing at the thought of your soulmate being in there with you

'Okay, we gotta help each other, I have 2 brain cells'

'Well, that's more than I have... but let's do this soulmate!!!'

Somehow, you got in, even with your collective 3 brain cells

You hadn't been able to talk to Denki since then, you guessed there was a limit to how far you could be

So, on the first day of class, you were determined to find him, only -

"Which one of you is y/n?"

A blonde boy with a black stripe in his hair burst through the door, scanning around the room

"Denki!?"

He smiled at your response, and ran over to you and hugged you

"We did it we did it we did it!!!"

You could only laugh as your classmates immediately decided you two were the weird ones

[clementineesotsm]

THE KING: ETERNAL MONARCH EP 12, My Appreciation and How It Made Me Feel

I think we started this episode with a strong scene and phrase. First, the parallel between people in Corea and Korea (LR minion, JES-MSA, JY-Nari), second, SJH words “you are incredible. You are killing people, but keep me alive every time i try to die. I guess, you will really become a God” to LR (also i think we knew now that this is what LR is after now, not to be a king. But God) and third, Nari explanation about dejavu “a deja vu occurs when our frequency matches that of another world and you get a glimpse of yourself there”

We saw more scene on JY meets PM in Korea. Damn WDH and JEC acting here was great. Subtle shocking face when both eyes meet but then, they just try to chill 👏🏼 after PM leaves The Alley, JY run after her borrowing Nari’s beautiful sport car. The scene was one of my fav because its so cool and well shot. Also we can saw JY got shot here, i think LR minion try to protect PM

Meanwhile in Korea, Gon is searching for JTE or Luna anyone with the same faces. I love how he said to the team in NSA that this is not a King’s order but him asking for a help 부탁합니다 . Because its rather personal request to him, im soft 🥺 finally he found her. Im sad to see him cried when he found JTE with the help of police.

Moving on to the palace, the lady royal guard and Lady Noh found LR minion inside the palace. I need to gave Lady Noh (real name: Kim Young-Ok) standing applause because in this scene she nailed it. She is very angry and she is heartless actually. Definitely characters you want as a head court lady of the imperial household and also as a closes to mother figure for Gon. Also actually here we had a clue that she is actually coming from North Korea (just my thought), because she says anyone gossip about what happen in the cafetaria will be punished for 3 generation 😨

Back to Korea, KSJ helps JY after getting shot. We got a lot of good insight here. First, We need to know that the vest from Corea was very well made because it really can witstands bullet without causing serious damage to your body. Please remember it, we need it later 🤓 second, JY have a hot body 🤣 third, JY honest confession about him wanted to protect the King with all his will, because the King constantly on a battlefield ever since the treason, and now seems like his destiny leads him to a new battlefield and he will be there for him. KSJ jokes whether thay dating 🤣 and JY basically says the rumors does exist. But just as KSJ and JTE who protect the law ans justice, JY protect the King the same. The script was amazing 👏🏼

Then the reunion scene. What i love about this next scene is how they use JY voice at the beginning of the fight to describe Gon battlefield and move on to the reunion scene. Also Gon and JTE finally see each other after a long time but in a very dangerous and dramatic situation. I love the acting, i love the place they done this scene, i love the camera filter, i love the smoke, the circumstances, i love the camera angle, but most of all i love LMH and Gon acted their character so perfectly. The HUGS. the way JTE said i missed you, they way she reaches Gon hands, the way Gon lift JTE body then drown his face into her. Everything is very intimate and endearing. Also the instrumental of My Love and I... Go watch it yourself 💯

Gon takes JTE to his chamber to get treated. And we got a very soft conversation between the 2 lovebirds 🥺 I love how soft both to each other here, from their voice, them looking each other, the jokes, the forehead kiss 🥺. This is what i want to see in a movie or series, the characters actually talk to each other and have an honest conversation. They know they have limited time and they dont waste it for some unnecessary drama. I love them to the bone 🥺 please love them too y’all

After many scary scene, we have been blessed with sweet and funny scenes after. Gon is basically keep his promise to wash the rice with his navy uniform, i mean, how is this the same Gon from eps 11? 🤣

Another insight, we got to see the coat of doomed where we knew bad things will happens when Gon wears it. Also i just realize this coat was also what Gon wears at eps 1. Still pretty much a riddle but bring out more curiousity here 🤔

They went to see JES, he is so happy to see JTE. At first i think this scene is rather not quite important until the latter we saw that JES actually found something here. But actually any scenes with WDH are worth to watch anyway

Then after here they go to investigate the place LR used to keep JTE before. Gon is ahead of LR in Corea now. LR basically dont really have place to hide in Corea i assume. In this place Gon finally tell JTE that both can back and forth to each world because of the flute. The battle now is between them whether LR will get the whole flute or Gon will or at least not to lose Gon’s. JTE feels this is way to harsh because Gon need it to see her as well and Gon softly jokes that “that is why you shouldnt treat me harshly” 😔 why god why

Gon said “dont worry, i never lose whats belongs to me, but if you still worried. Lets pray” 🥺

To be continued..

[shhh-no-ones-home]

deja vu bucky barnes x reader

+++++++++

christmas request info can be found here 

prompts:

"How long has it been since you've slept." "I heard you scream. Nightmares again?" "Hold my hand. You're going to be fine."

Song: mirrors by pvris

tag list: @cynic-spirit +++++++++

i walked through the lounge, looking to all the men and women working on the renovations to the compound. i sipped my coffee and leaned my back into the counter, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose. it had been a long few months since id been recruited and things werent exactly easier. i of course was a new hero, pushed onto the team after the untimely demise of one tony stark but we were making it worth it. i had made pretty good friends with bucky after all and everyone said that was hard to do. but then again maybe it was something more.

when i opened my eyes i saw him through the window, taking his morning jog around the building. he had done it everyday since id arrived and he said hed do it everyday until he left again. he had told me at one point though that he was waiting to head back to Wakanda, whatever that meant. all i knew was i got to spend every day with him, training as well as relaxing, amongst a few other things.

he was a smooth talker after all and we often found ourselves flirting over dinner, making the other recruits practically sick. it was a nice change of pace though, id finally found someone with as silver a tongue as myself. it helped for other activities though. i smirked to myself at the thought. when i turned back around to set my cup on the island i jumped, bucky standing on the other side staring at me.

"jesus buck, you gave me a heart attack."

i said, clutching my chest and he laughed, sipping his own coffee, looking at me over the edge of the mug.

"we both know thats a lie."

he said slyly, setting the mug down on the counter. i shook my head, leaning in and resting my weight against my elbows.

"we still on for tonight?"

i said with a wink and he smirked at me.

"arent we always?"

he quipped back and i couldnt help the smile creeping its way to my face. when clint walked in i heard him groan. he had decided to come back every few days to check on training progress and to make sure the renovations were going to plan.

"oh god, not you two."

he said, pouring his own coffee. i laughed, taking a sip.

"is there a problem officer?"

i asked and he sent me a testing look.

"no but i wont be staying, i wouldn't want to impose on whatever this is."

he said, motioning between us.

"How long has it been since you two have slept?"

he grumbled into his mug before leaving promptly. i turned back to bucky who winked at me. the thing is, ever since we'd started training, a spark was shot off and we keep finding ourselves together in bed. even if it is just for a round or two and never a full night. we hadnt committed to anything even close to that yet. that was okay with me though.

"my room or yours?"

i asked, biting my lip gently and i could hear him groan low in his throat.

"definitely yours, if i can wait that long."

he said almost annoyed with himself before strutting back out of the kitchen. i smiled widely, standing back up and returning to my position to watch the magic happen.

°°°°°°°°°

i laid in bed on my stomach and played with the ties on my silk robe. i had been waiting for bucky for what felt like forever and it was starting to get late. surely he didnt forget we were supposed to be doing something, he never forgot. i sighed as i rolled onto my back, worry starting to set in. i sat up quickly and walked around my bed, slipping my panties back on and tightening my robe. i looked to my phone before putting it in my pocket, it was already midnight and everyone else was asleep by now, those that were here at least.

i walked slowly down the dark hallway, side stepping the roomba-like creatures as they cleaned the floors. i drew my brows, not seeing a light coming from buckys room. did he fall alseep on me? even after he expressed his excitement? i almost felt offended. i crossed my arms over my chest before i heard him making sound from the other side of the door. i drew my brows, hearing him whine. i could almost make out soft 'no's. then i heard him scream. i tried the doorknob first but it was locked. then i started banging on the door.

"bucky?"

i called but no answer. i hit the door again.

"buck!"

i yelled but nothing.

"im coming in."

i said sternly, standing back and kicking the door open. everything was dark aside from the red glow of his alarm clock. i saw him stir against his pillows; he was still fully dressed, shoes and everything. he must've fallen asleep.

"no, no, get away from me."

i heard him mumble, his hand opening and closing a few times as he curled into a ball. it almost broke me seeing him like that. i stepped forward slowly.

"bucky?"

i said softly, touching his shoulder. a second later he snapped out of it, sitting upright and clutching my throat. he had the angriest look on his face like he was under some kind of spell. i gasped as i felt my feet leave the floor, reaching one hand to touch his face even at the distance we were at. as soon as i got contact all his memories flooded my mind as i absorbed them, seeing all the torture and pain they had caused him. this is what he was dreaming about. i clutched and scraped at the metal with my other hand before he realized what was happening and dropping me. i fell to the floor, couching up a storm and feeling the tears flowing down my face.

"oh my god, y/n, im so sorry."

he said, touching my back ever so gingerly.

"im so sorry."

he repeated, backing up. i finally caught my breath, placing both hands on the floor in front of me as i knelt down.

"buck."

i croaked out, reaching for him.

"im sorry."

he said again, helping me to the bed. he clicked the light on, making me blink hard against it.

"are you okay?"

he said a little broken and i nodded. then he gasped, standing quickly and walking backwards until he hit the wall. he covered his mouth and shook his head.

"whats wrong?"

i asked, standing and stepping slowly to him like you would a wounded animal.

"i hurt you."

i shook my head as he started huffing, trying not to cry. i grabbed his hand in mine and he tried to pull away. but i persisted.

"bucky look at me, you did not hurt me. i am fine. please just Hold my hand so i can show you."

he gave in slowly and i pulled him back to the bed with me.

"I heard you scream. is it the Nightmares again?"

he nodded slowly, looking to the ground.

"i thought they had gone."

he confessed, closing his eyes and resting his head in his hands. i rubbed his back slowly.

"You're going to be fine buck."

he looked over at me with sad eyes and i could see tears starting to form behind them.

"but i hurt you, how can i come back from that?"

i shook my head.

"bucky ill live, maybe with some bruising for a while but im still here. and i still trust you. you were doing so good and doing so much better. you said they were gone after all, at least until now."

he sighed.

"i guess i just had a moment of weakness. my best friend left me again and i just lived through another war."

he confessed and i pulled him in to hug me, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. he stiffened under my touch like he was worried hed hurt me again but i understood why. he was scared. hell, so was i.

"you are always allowed to have moments of weakness buck, especially if your dreams look like that."

i said and he pulled away, eyes wide.

"you saw them."

he said in realization and i nodded.

"yeah, i did see them."

i said and he shook his head, a tear finally escaping down his cheek and into his beard.

"im so sorry."

he said, his voice breaking as he began to cry.

"buck."

i said, pulling him back into me and hugging him tightly.

"you dont deserve my demons."

he said shakily, finally wrapping his arms around me. i pet his hair softly,

"maybe not, but they help me understand you and im thankful that i can."

i said just above a whisper, feeling him shake against me. i closed my eyes as we sat in silence. there was a million things i could say but none of them seemed right just yet so i decided against all of them. at the very least he could be vulnerable for a moment, even if it was just a moment. i liked that he could trust me enough to do this though. i sighed heavily, scratching at the back of his neck when i heard him sniffle.

"thank you."

he said softly, pulling away. in front of me was a broken man but i finally understood him as a person.

"you never have to thank me buck."

i said and he shook his head, wiping his face with his shirt sleeve.

"i know we arent exactly like that but i want you to know that i love you."

my eyes went wide.

"of course you dont have to say it back but i want you to know its true. we've been with each other for months and its only now im realizing how much i actually care for you and i just needed you to know that."

he said and i sent him a small smile, pulling him in for a chaste kiss. i could taste the salty tears against his lips and his face hot and flush against my cold finger tips. when i pulled away he finally smiled back.

"i love you too buck."

[lucidpantone]

I found the Noor anons that tumblr deleted in my email. Yay.... here is the noor discourse. It’s long I had alot of Noor anons.

Anon: hard agree w your noor answers 😬 i always felt like i was the only one not getting the hype like she wasn’t even a main character?? she appeared in like a total of idk 5 episodes and ppl get so bitter if you say you don’t give a fuck abt her we barely know anything abt her how can you even get attached to a character like that hahah either way its a FICTIONAL character fam chill tf out lmao

Anon: Hola! I wish you are well, I love reading your blog .. I just go on to say that I agree with everything you have said about Noor, I never understood all the madness of the fandom for her, I also see her as an ordinary person, within her style, capable has to do with the average age of those who watch this program, I'm a little older .. well, nothing, who cares what I think .. sorry if this is misspelled, i don't speak english

More after the cut

Anon: 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I'm sorry this Noor discussion is killing me. its entertaining but people are clearly grasping at straws for conversation in this fandom lately. Sorry you have people yelling at you in anons, its got to be exhausting. I'm just happy you share opinions and back them up.

Modified Anon: no bc you’re spitting facts lol noor’s hyped up for like reacting like a normal decent human being would. and not to mention that robbe actually broke up with her unlike isak. she honestly acted like all the other emmas so i don’t understand why she’s so overhyped compared to them lmao she’s liked just bc they like hanna imo

Modified Anon: Not to drag you back into Noor chat, cause think we’ve all heard enough of that  sure you’re tired of it. But. Just to say. The hair [in deja vu]. Don’t get me wrong she’s a pretty girl, but I cannot vibe with that harsh cut. That’s all...please don’t come for me, I’m not the monster here!

Paraphrased anon (couldn’t find it but it was to the point, something like this): I like Noor because she isn’t written like your typical cookie cutter girl squad member.

I have said it before and I will say it again my opinion of Noor is simple. She is a cute girl who seems really genuine and sweet. Thats it! Thats all I got because literally in canon that all wtfock gaves us. That Noor is generally a nice girl maybe axe the screaming in public. Its never a high point in the night when you’re screaming in public and also agree I do prefer her s3 hair but thats just me. Also you guys talk about her being this unique artist girl but have we actually seen a collection of Noor’s art? Like Joana or even like Nora in Druck. Like we saw their art all the time. So sometimes I feel like you guys just really like her instagram aesthetic versus what we got in canon. Like she is definitely a nice person but I just dont get all this odd head canoning about a character that we truly know little about. I dont know I guess for me I just need more then an instagram and a pretty girl to be hyped for a character I need like actual meaningful plot. We dont know anything about her that isn’t surface the only thing that is kinda of hinted towards is she has a lot of empathy but we dont even know why? so I cant fully connect to that either.

[yibo-wang]

Hi Aamna,

Thank you, hon 💛💛💛 that’s very sweet of you and it’s nice knowing that I can say whatever I am thinking here. Even thought you have given me persmission to do so, sadly is hard to do so as I still keep checking my words but mostly I do let my mind run and let my fingers just type whatever it is I am thinking. I swear half the time I feel I come out sounding like someone who just smoke a blunt which I can assure you I didn’t today lol. But see what I mean witch just writing whatever I am thinking.

Do you remember that at the beginning I mention that I wanted to follow you to reblog many of your posts but I couldn’t do it because then you would know who I was, however, lately some of the blogs I follow have thankfully reblog your stuff and guess who has been able to reblog your stuff without giving herself away *points to self* this girl right here lol...well damn I just realize I just gave myself away with that and now you will be paying attention to see who reblogs next 😂 damn now I will have to wait when everything ends. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yeah that’s something maybe I won’t understand fully about Yu Ziyuan character as she is from a different culture and race, and sadly we all go through different things when it comes to things like this because of culture and race.

Yu Ziyuan can respectuflly step on me okay I understand this because I have to accept that she was one strong independent woman and not only that she was beautiful to boot. She did love JFM she just didin’t like him makes perfect sense, I don’t think there was never a doubt that she loved him but I think the reason that she never liked him was because he never tried to actually fight for them and lets face it he just smile and never tried anything to fix things either. There more I think about it her life was a sad one and it makes you understand her anger even more.

It’s funny that you mention Wen Qing beacause her death didn’t made sense at all, I mean I understand MXTX needed to create that conflict but couldn’t they use someone else lol. I mean the lady killed so many to create that conflict and tension but damn she went into a killing spree with her characters specially the women. Lol Talking about Wen Qing and how she could have survive I think I read a fic about how Baoshan Sanren did help Wen Qing to live but I think in that story it was more her spirit that kept on living so she was this type of ghost that you could see only thanks to BS. Talking about Boashan Sanren I never understood why she didn’t help the student that died, I know she pretty much told them you leave don’t come back but come on she was this magical being that could do so much she could have help them.

As for who I would choose, I would also chose Jiang Yanli (I mean why kill her, the siblings were already suffering as it was) I personally think she would have been a very strong -no one messes with me- type of sect leader until her son came of age and took over. Specially with everyone knowing that she had the protection of not only Jiang Cheng the sec leader of the Yunmeng but also of Wei Wuxian the Yiling Patriach no one would dare to defy her.

Now my next question: What are your thoughts about the Yi City arc and it’s characters?

Your C.C Blue 🌸

Hii Blue! It's no worry, things take time afterall 💛

Fjfjf no no I think you're safe I'm incredibly oblivious fjfjfj and currently another anon told me to guess their username and I'm so bad at it lol.

Yep you're right, its tru JFM loved her but sometimes that's just not enough and you read to stand and fight for it. I kinda really hate him sometimes (also fjfj idk why but while writing this I had a feeling of deja vu ajfjit :0) aaaanyway since the story was from wwx's pov I think we might not even know the whole thing between them cause tbh as an asian I can say that asian parents just arent into pda.. at all fkfkf they dont even hold hands lol

Omg! Can you please tell me the name of that fic? I'm desperate for some wen qing content to read.

Went into a killing spree with her characters

That seems about right and I think that's the only thing that im bothered about sm. Like understand the story's is about wangxian but she fleshed out them all so perfectly! It's a tragedy they were killed off :( but that's why we have fanfics tho 😂😂

Hmm I dont know enough about that but I think I read it somewhere (or maybe it was fic and I'm mixing stuff again fjfjfk) that immortals dont meddle with the earthly/worldly issues so ig that's the reason but it would've been so cool if she came and saw her grand disciple inventing a new method of cultivation lol

Ah ah ah yanli :( I think the only person who loves wei wuxian as much as lan zhan is jiang yanli. She died still believing in him and it's so so sad that she never got to see wei wuxian happy, having a son and a husband, didnt get to see her own son grow up. Oomph the thought of Sect Leader Yanli is just 🥵 what I loved about the scene where jin zixun is being a stuck up nuisance is JYL respectfully roasting the shit out of him fjfjf like she is a cinnamon roll but she is more than capable of ending you right there with just her words. I love it!

Ahh as for your question, I adore the yi city arc it's literally like lets step away from the main story for 5 min to check out these other cultivator husbands but at the same time (in cql) the parallels between songxiao and wangxian is amazing! I love the longing lwj saw in them when he meets them the first time compared to the sadness when he finds out about their fate.

Xue Yang is without a doubt my favourite villain. He's just shameless, he's straightforward and he doesnt beat around the bush. Literally like yes I'm a psycho what about it? I can and I will murder you all :D I sympathise with him too in some areas like how his upbringing or the lack of and the way the society treated him affected him. Like mxtx focuses on the three XY, JGY and WWX and how the three orphans were affected by society but each of them handled things differently.

Xue Yang and Jiggy both value themselves over everyone while WWX thinks I owe everyone everything and kills himself dead over it. Xue Yang is open about and and Jiggy is discreet. It's such a brilliant thing! I love it way too much.

With xuexio I think xue yang himself didnt know how to handle when something good, when kindness is actually giving to hil freely and thats why in a way he tricks xiao xingchen.

Coming to SongXiao 😔😫 a tragedy. They could've been crime fighting rogue cultivator husbands :(( it's heartbreaking how they parted the way they did and when the finally met it they couldnt even clear the air. It's just one tragedy after the other with them.

What about you?

[bahrlee]

Suck the Blood From my Wound

Basically Beach Bear simps after Dook. Enjoy

🦇🦇🦇chapter two: dead behind the eyes🦇🦇🦇

After the strange experience from a week ago---he still swore someone put something in his drink that caused him to imagine that whole thing---he decided to stay away from that part of town for a little particularly the place he drove home from, and even more particularly that seven eleven. He wasn't even going to try to comprehend the existence of Mythical creatures in the real world, he was just going to think it was a dream, and leave it up to that. He liked going out at night though during the summertime. He liked to make the most of his warm feelings towards the night before autum and winter came, which sent him down an inconvenient depression. He decided to stay in the vicinity of his town this time, in Hope's of not encountering anything strange tonight.

   Well, he encountered something strange that night. He decided to go see a movie. To makes the most out of it, he sat in the back corner, away from everyone. The seclusion gave him the focus he needed to enjoy the movie to its fullest. He didnt buy anything usually, he just came to watch. But when he went for his original spot, someone else was already there. He didnt feel like sharing space with another person today; honestly he enjoyed his alone time more than hed like to admit, even with the lack of real friends, but maybe he could. Or so he thought until the stranger glared at him in an eerily familiar way. Hes never seen him before, either. He wouldve known if he saw a unique looking person like him before. 

   Sharp blue eyes against dark skin---an interesting combo he really liked. His hair sat on his head in perfect ringlets. Well, the long parts that is. He had a mullet, something odd that hes never seen in awhile. He made out a David Bowie t-shirt under his studded jacket. Wearing leather in the uncomfortable florida summer, a bold choice. It was enough to entice him, and to draw him nearer, even with the glare.

   "Go away." He stated firmly.

   "Well I always sit here when I come here." He argued back.

   "Well I'm new to this town, so why dont you give me a little space, huh?" There was a slight curve at the side of his mouth.

   "Since your new, how about you meet people?" He asked sitting down, taking a seat one seat away from him.

   "I-I dont like that very much, ha." It was now a full on smile, bringing a gentle presence to his cold hard features. 

   "You from Louisiana?" He asked him, noticing the Cajun pronunciation that was very present in his voice. 

   "New Orleans." He said.

   Enter, another long dramatic pause.

   "Hey, that's cool. What brings you here?" He asked next. 

   He shrugged. "I dont have to tell you that." He said. "Just know I'm here now." He took a sip of his drink and turned his head to the blank screen for a short moment before hitting him with a question. "You always talk to people like this?" He asked him, standoffish.

   "I usually come here for some alone time, but guess who waltzed right into my area?" He quipped back. 

   "Well god forbid other people like the dark corners of the theater just like you." He shot.

   Beach laughed quietly, entertained by this intriguing stranger. "I'm Beach."

   He raised a brow at him. "That's your name?"

   Beach drew a blank for a moment. He was always good with words, always good at finding a comeback, a return, a rebuddle---but he found himself completely lost for words with this guy. "I mean it's a nickname and I hate my real name so…."

   He looked at him spitefully as if he knew his real name. It scared him, but made him want to talk to him even more. 

   "I'm Dook." He said.

   "Hey Dook." 

   He didnt respond back, he just gave him a look and turned away.

   Then the movie started.

🦇🦇🦇

   Beach came to the realization he had a type. Men who were completely uninterested in and unimpressed by him. It wasnt really a power thing, it was more of a n equality thing. He liked someone he could play off of, and have fun with. Or maybe it was a power thing and he liked being a weak little simp. He was tall, smart, and sarcastic, so he was always though as someone assertive, and mean, but in truth he wasnt much. He was sweet, he liked to garden and read books, he wasnt nearly as intimidating than what people thought.

   Dook seemed a bit shy too. Not a big initiator of conversation. He still talked to him, and joked with him, but the whole time he remained a bit flustered by the presence if another person. It made him mysterious, and he liked it a lot.

   Another thing, Dook didnt talk to him during the movie, so he could really actually pay attention to the whole thing like he wanted, even with a person a seat apart from him. Maybe it was because Dook didnt want to give him the time of day in the first place, but he didnt move, so that was a sign he didnt give a completely mediocre first impression. 

   He didnt even looking like he was watching the movie for thst matter. Just staring off into the distance, through the screen, off in his own world. Maybe he was lost in thought, and he came to the movies to think more than watch. Or maybe he was just zoned out and his head was empty. Either way, he seemed out of it.

   But besides all that, he thought he was cute.

🦇🦇🦇

   When the movie was done, and the people filed out, he was surprised to see Dook still left in his seat.

   "Hey, are you gonna get up?" He asked him, helplessly curious. Now that the theater was lit, he noticed the heavy dark circles under his eyes.

   In response, Dook just closed his eyes and shrugged. Would it be pretty dark here at this time of night? He asked.

  He looked at his watch. 10:30. "Yeah, it's pretty dark. You think Florida's like reverse Alaska or something? Where we have three whole days of sunlight or something?"

   "Quit thinking I'm dumb." He said, a particularly nasty roll to the voice. Maybe it was playful? He couldnt tell.

   "Okay, um… seeya I guess." He turned around, but turned back around. "Um…. I can show you around town, sometime." He started playing with a strand of his hair like he always did when he was nervous. 

   "Like a date?" He blushed, finally showing a sign of being flustered. 

   "No, it doesnt have to be, it's just that you're new and I know the best places in town, that's all."

   "Okay then. Um, I'm flattered, but no thank you. I've been here a week already."

   "Oh." He said, disappointed. " then Maybe we'll see each other in this exact spot again soon."

   He grinned. "Maybe."

   He left the theater rooms, the theater building, and the downtown area, completely mesmerized that night. What a discovery. He was left with so many questions he should've asked, even if he wouldn't have answered. He almost felt like it wasn't a real experience, similar to a night he had before. He didn't remember which one, he tended to be unable to keep track of what he did sometimes---losing time and procrastination and all that---but he sensed a sort of deja vu from that experience. But he hoped it was real this time, because that man, as he shamelessly admitted in his head, was pretty cute.

[lilmajorshawty]

Uranus in The houses : The Unhinged.

Uranus In The First House : A Calamity

(Kanye Feat. Jay Z - No church in the wild)

for natives with this placement the world itself can feel almost restricted in it’s dense formatting. To them people play pretend, and this makes them create walls as a means to escape from this “playground” of superficiality and conformity. they in many ways can be fantasy, operating on whim and wanderlust rather than any understandable motive. The ego here is complex, rather it’s constantly changing and augmenting. These natives can seem detached, far or aloof even if they have a rather watery or earthy ascendant. They keep distance from the world around them and can find it rather hard especially when young to cope with being “different” from the rest. Uranus in this house can cause standout features such as cheekbones, hair patterns and colors, eye colors or rather even just a unique scar or beauty mark on the face. these natives can be problem starters or deviants, in some ways many with this placement if not outright have that hidden side to them that seeks to test the boundaries of people or things in their immediate environment. Stark reds or blacks tend to color their wardrobe especially if they happen to already be a water or earth ascendant. despite Uranus here they can hide this energy despite it sitting in the first house if Uranus is well aspected or partnered with another planet or aspect to the rising sign.

Uranus In The Second House: A Power-Outage 

(Kanye West - Fade)

Uranus in the second house natives have the Judas Kiss. In most scenes this is seen as a taboo or rather bad relation; rather in this situation I would say this natives are capable of a great good but also a tremendous evil if they so please. the temperature here is cool to hot very quickly much like the finances of these natives. on one side they can have massive ups, and rather godly luck in matters of money. But seemingly from nowhere money can be lost, stolen or even misplaced just as quickly as they found it. the cycle of having and losing usually is what causes these natives, especially later in life to become very free when it comes to money matters. their self esteem can see its fair share of ups and downs but once they accept their uniqueness for what it is they no longer feel bound to the standards of beauty or security they've been taught to uphold here as Uranus forces them to create a new definition of the idea of “security.” these natives can be GORGEOUS; of course in saying this I don’t mean every other Uranus placement lacks the ability to be beautiful, rather Uranus in this house adds a special type of sensuality, the type that seduces a room without even a second thought. They have a star quality, almost like the lights are drawn to them effortlessly. The throat can be a bit unique or even possess tattoo, piercing, or in some cases freckles and or beauty marks(moles.) the tone of voice can either be raspy or faded in a way, fluctuating and “different” these natives can be untouchable once they master the art of loving thy self in regard of all uniqueness. 

Uranus In The Third House: A Stormy Sky

(Run The Jewels - Call Ticketron) 

Uranus in the third house natives in true third house fashion Love the mind, they can take on a rather personal stance towards understanding others but a more impersonal one on understanding their own mental makeup. They are true creatures of impulse, seeking to dig and devour every aspect of the human response. They want to know the “why,” the “how,” the many intricate reasons on why you close your door before you go to sleep, why you cuff your jeans before you head to the date, why you cover your mouth when you laugh. To them the mind is a machine and one they are endlessly fascinated by. They can have moods in which they are extremely choosey and cliquish about who they show their genius mind to but in some ways its not them being stuck up or snobbish, rather they need to be mentally stimulated by people who know how to have free thought. People who can challenge them, people who can give them a new perspective or who have a deep mind are like eating the sweetest cherry pie for these natives. they adore mental diversity and often remain more introverted until they find that in the environment they’re in. They can have a rather fixed gaze in their eyes as if they are caught in a deep thought or on a destination you’re not apart of. They can have beauty marks and moles on the arms unless other planets sit in this house, the nails and or finger tips on women or men can be slender and boxed. the hand movements can seem very detached from the movements of the body they belong too. the arms can also be rather cold in their temperature. the speech pattern is quick and get far away as they speak as if they are talking away from you as the conversation continues. They also have the tendency to avoid touch or have an intensity to the way they do initiate touch.(handshakes). Very punk rebel vibe to them. 

Uranus In The Fourth House: A Silent Bolt 

 (Travis scott - Astrothunder) 

This can be a bit of a taxing place for Uranus to be in a persons chart as it can create a distant sort of ways a way feeling in the most vulnerable place in someone’s heart, home. The home can seem a bit “for now” for the native even if the family Is loving and caring as can be. the native carries this energy as if the security they feel may only last for a moment. the family can in some cases be unorthodox or a bit strange in its composition. it could be that the native is an adopted child, lives or has lived in a ever shifting home environment or may have a detached relationship with those they get intimately involved with, including their loved ones. Uranus could also create a situation here the child is raised by relatives or siblings rather than the parent or in some cases raised themselves. the native could've seen the home as a place to test the mind or the concepts of life itself. at home is where their ideas and concepts find voice often causing the natives to seem detached when you get to know them as you will soon realize that it is impossible to make these natives feel as though they “need’ anyone. Due to their detachment to their fourth house often started from child hood they don’t have the same emotional grounding as most. this makes these natives Extremely hard to get to know as they keep so much of their feelings hidden away from anyone, even family. Uranus here doesn’t just build walls, it creates circumstances that force the native to fend for themselves and be independent. these natives don’t know how to “need” people and because of this usually have to teach themselves how to allow themselves to feel certain emotions, and in many ways they have to teach themselves to “care” about people despite the possibility of vulnerability that may come from it. These natives have deep feelings but regardless seek freedom frim their intense emotions as often they feel immensely understood on an emotional level and prefer to be their own “ rock” so to speak. the parents could have professions in medicine and even science and or law. parents may be gone often or be unable to provide for the native emotionally in the proper way necessary. The chest region can be unique in some way, be it scars, moles, or different skin tones than the rest of the body. the chest is very vulnerable. heart palpations and unusual heartbeats can be common place. Uranus here can cause cold body temperatures. these natives have a hard time letting people in and because of this the more you get close to them or force your way into intimacy with them the more distant they will get. they crave a life free of people and connections, in many ways they want to be nomadic, feeling and experiencing in reclusion. 

Uranus In The Fifth House : A Electric Current 

(Kanye Feat Sia, Vic mensa, Frank Ocean - Wolves) 

Uranus in the fifth house is a powerful position for Uranus, despite being situated in the house of its opposing medium. Uranus in the house causes the native to experience their fare share of heartbreaks as it invites love liaisons that are exciting, passionate but brief in nature. it can seem like their is a divine lesson to be learned in the realm of romance and even children as these natives will be forced to relinquish control over their children much earlier than most parents as the kids will be strong in Aquarian/uraniun energy. this isn’t to say other planets and even the sign on the cusp wont augment this, but the natives will have to allot their children the room and freedom necessary to grow otherwise the children will rebel. the dating scene is likely turbulent, periods of draught and nun- like celibacy only to be bombarded with periods of intense intimacy. the natives can attract the idealist type, the rocker type, the bad boy or the conspiracy theorist. the kids are often visionaries but detached, they can adore the native as a friend or the cool mom, dad. the casual sex encounters are often memorable but can push the native into deeper themes of self realization. the party scene is often indie, a bit nuance and a bit of a sacred relic. they tend to be off to the side or inhaling the energy so to speak almost as if they’re seeking a greater party elsewhere within the very party they’re are attending. the hobbies and things sought out of pleasure are often odd. these natives tend to be stimulated by electronics and gadgets but more importantly documentaries and alien flics often are more their scene. they love a good conspiracy and even more so love to research the topic. they can be a bit flighty when it comes to the seriousness of intimacy which is often reflected back onto them in the grand scheme of karma. the back can have beauty marks, moles on it and can also have a strangeness to it appearance. 

Uranus In the Sixth House : A Perplexing Case Of  Deja Vu

(Disclosure - Jaded jammer Remix)

to put it in simple terms these natives are erraticccc, with a capital E. They can create the wildest day to day schedule and it’ll somehow be much more organized and neat than any of us could ever do. they live by their own compass and tend to loathe any outside reinforcement of how and what they should be utilizing their schedule to do. They value a certain level of independence in their day to day and can easily feel afflicted if they are being forced to follow any one else's regimen than their own. their health can also take on the same erratic tone. some times the guessing game they play with their bodily health is part of what adds to that insane happy-go lucky energy they carry and partly why they are the least effected by bodily alignment. Uranus makes the body heal quickly here, often causing these natives to do better dealing with their own health issues unless absolutely necessary. Surgery may in some way shape or form be necessary for these natives as Uranus in this house and the eighth house tend to do that. The stomach can be unique in its appearance but this is often negated especially if the sign on the cusp is in its last decan. the internal organ structure however will operate and preform much different than most. The native will often have odd schedules at work or detached and new age type of co-workers. the native may get jobs as a journalist, a CEO at apple or a new generation company. the ability to get a job “can” be easy sometimes and hard in other times it truly just depends on how Uranus is vibrating. The native may have a sort of cosmic back drop, as Uranus in this house can create premonitions and or preludes to situations set to occur soon. the native should take much care to pay attention to these. 

Uranus In The Seventh House: A Unstable Party of two

(Big Black Delta - Huggin & Kissin )

Uranus in the seventh house natives are quite the experience. To put it fondly these natives can be a maelstrom of ups, downs, here's and there’s, Back and fourth's, Two le fro. The story can drain you but you’ll find yourself sucked into their electric vortex of sex, love, passion, anger, rage, and numbness. they are in a sense a sweet little jingle all to themselves wrapped in thorns. they are passionate souls, but the electric uranian current causes them to send out that passion in an overwhelming fashion. people attribute this placement to cheating which is something I have to disagree with, this placement on it’s own in it’s depth means that these natives crave and need a connection that touches their spirit and mind on a cosmic level. Their standards are high which causes them to seem flighty. they are unique and very perplexing individuals and for that reason they’d do anything to find that one perfect gem that reflects their storm, making a colorful shimmer. to them the chaos in a relationship is what makes a connection but the ability to take one another, bare and complete is what they attribute to be real love. The conquest can make them seem like sluts, or whores but in reality they aren’t the type to sleep around or even date for the sake of it as many of them prefer the loner lifestyle. these natives can be hard as hell to understand and even harder to win over but once you do you’ll likely see just how powerful cosmic love can be, and baby it is a groovy experience. these natives can have very cute butt dimples or beauty marks around these regions. depending on how daring they are these natives also get ass tattoos. these natives are very sexy and have an energy to them that makes them the prize. most people want them but they normally don’t notice there fans and prefer the types who don’t blend in normally with society. Exp(drake leo rising Aquarius DC falling for Rihanna, Rebellious, independent, passionate but aloof) They often are level headed and non-emotional in their interactions with others and vice versa. the start of the marriage can begin abruptly and depending on how evolved the native is the marriage can also end abruptly. 

Uranus In The Eighth House : A Fallen Apostle 

(Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Sacrilege)

Ah Uranus in the Eighth house, The epitome of Intensity and the icy cool of hell all in one. These natives are very much so the dark witch dressed as damsel in distress, the virgin dressed in sheer red panty less, the red eyed lover sitting atop the debris. to these natives the world, it’s people and their psyche isn’t safe from their all seeing celestial aura. these natives are blessed with a sight so clear and so powerful that often they can sense you and your intent ions before you even glance their way. they feel energy like an electric vibration and react to it consciously and unconsciously. they operate on this divine modem yet still reject any guidance from any higher power as they want to be in control of their own fate. in many ways they take on the form of a rebellious angel favored by the ruler of all, not just for their “balls” but for the limitless nature of their tenacity. these natives are ambitious when it comes to the world of the dead, they want to transverse spirituality and the cosmic window and many can be drawn to the occult, be it astrology, actual cults, tarot, psychic mediums, paranormal investigations and so on. these placement is very spiritually powerful as well as these natives tend to earn the respect of good and bad ghost. demons and angels tend to take on passive energies towards these natives more or less being rather curious as to the life choices and directions the native will choose to follow. they often have very strong dreams and can easily hear divine calling if they surrender to the unknown but these natives as brave as they are can be afraid of how “real” their own spiritual ability really is and in turn shy away from the heavier stuff. they can have a past life linked to science and innovation, one in which they discovered something of great importance in their present life. in many cases having Uranus in your 8th house in this life time can mean you’ve lived many lives and carry many souls within your body hence the heaviness of this placement. the body temperature is often very cold and the native can easily get shivers and tremors due to sudden temperature changes. these natives tend to dislike to much heat and can suffer from being accident prone. the native will likely have surgery and an interest in surgery that will become more apparent over time. the genitalia will have unique features or just be shaped in a different way. the hips will be in a sort of hourglass shape depending on other influences. Uranus here also causes a much darker eye color, as with all 8th house placements. the native will have good luck in finances but, their will be a constant fluctuation in finances especially with Neptune here due to Uranus and it’s 50/50 nature. that being said inheritance and money deals will usually run smoothly even if Uranus is badly aspected, but still caution is advised with harsher aspects. sex can almost be experienced in seldom as usually from what I've seen the universe is very picky about who is able to sleep with these natives. usually the natives are put in long moments of celibacy and then sprung by sudden and long periods of constant sex or thoughts of sex. the natives can be very detached and very, very hard to get emotionally close to as the darkest and most intense side of themselves is put behind a uranian wall. they are in a sense the darkest place for Uranus because of how overwhelming their real energy is. not to exaggerate but these natives are not easy to handle and they know that, no ordinary person is usually capable so these natives tend to be very choosey about who is ready to take them on. 

Uranus In the Ninth House : A Divine Exit 

(Foals - Exits)

For Uranus in the 9th house natives much could be said bout their rebellious spirit but even more could be said about their influential presence. These natives share a obscure world view, one far from the norm and one that isn’t supported by the rest. the can have passionate views on the political landscape but can keep these thoughts tight to their chest especially if they are a more shy person. they prefer a world lived in truth rather than blind following and desperately seek to create that even if in a small way in the world around them. they are buzzing with the rebel energy and can seem like the bad boy or bad gal in town even if they’re sweet as can be. the nature of Uranus in this house is to challenge the status quo which often makes these natives huge advocates for reform and leaks as they need and want the public to have the opportunity to think on their own. These natives can be extremely open minded and one of their most admirable qualities is the safe haven they create for those who don’t feel safe speaking or validating their own truth. these natives albeit strange are very good hearted anarchist. the travels can be interstellar(literally) as Uranus rules space age tech and these natives tend to travel often to highly industrialized places. the natives can have rather aloof or detached engagements with foreign places which allows them the greatest avenue for self discovery and change. they often adore history and language but can despise the ecosystem of paid college and governmental institutions which usually makes many of them seek outside sources of knowledge or in some extreme cases not go to college or further schooling all together. the hips and thighs can be unique in their shape or have freckles(moles). 

Uranus In the Tenth House : A Earthly Anomaly 

(Alexandra Savior -Frankie)

Uranus in the tenth house is very intimidating. These natives have these kind of critical yet leering gaze to them, this honest and suffocating loathing of society and its little nuances. They know the end and beginning and often find themselves augmenting the results only to be disappointed by it’s commonality. They view people in spades and often find themselves testing reactions and situational responses from environments and people involved. their public persona can be viewed as detached, rather cool and unassuming. their media profiles can range from conspiracy to vintage oldie sit-com. they live in an era that is long dead and gone. they value genuine expression and often adore the new, and rather simplistic approaches to beauty and art. to them keeping some of the old, and taking your own spin on it, bringing it to life in your own light takes an immense amount of dedication and skill. they can seem rather elderly in their approach to concepts and carry a sort of pre-historic air to them yet in so many ways they are ions beyond everyone else as Uranus in this house gifts these natives with not only a resourceful mind but a encompassing mind that sees the beautiful stills and angles yet to be used. they tend to be very poised and serious individuals who dislike a misuse of the “outsider” aesthetic. to them not fitting in isn’t a “trend” rather it’s a experience, it’s a very real aspect of life and one they take seriously. they project this air of independence but can easily overwhelm you with how easily they can remove their feelings from an encounter and treat you as if you were a speck of sand they happened to pay a little to much time on. they have a strong capability to do anything technical, be it space science, astronomy, be it bacterial research, chem labs, cancer research, robotic engineering and so on. they could care less about status and tend to be fond of jobs that allow them some level of reclusively. other planets can augment this description. the bone structure can be rather striking in it’s build leading to either a stranger look or taller look.

Uranus In the Eleventh House : A Transparent Fuse

(Metronomy -reservoir jaques Lu cont remix)

Uranus Can act a damn fool in it’s own house, you’d imagine Uranus would be pretty happy here correct? you’d be right! Uranus is a force in this house but not in the way you would think. The natural ability to make friends is capitalized here but it’s also strange in how it’s brought about. friends and the idea and concept of this will constantly be a out of reach understanding to the native. The friends take on the real role they were supposed to which is being a mirror into the soul of the individual. every aspect of these natives friend is an aspect of the native her/himself. the friendships can start and end quickly and have rather odd middle periods almost as if its a simulation of sorts. The natives themselves can be quick of wit and insanely bright, their mind just receives and accumulates knowledge like some sort of intergalactic sponge.  they tend to take on a humble conscious though and tend to loathe seeming overly educated in any one subject as they believe there is always something more to learn. these natives can struggle with hot and cold periods especially emotionally as they can feel sudden bouts of direction less-ness. they can seem a bit self critical and self deprecating only because they hold their mental state to such an abnormally high standard. they tend to be very drawn to organizations of any kind and have very giving and sacrificial hearts. that being said they can smell a con from a mile a way and aren’t to types to mindlessly donate. they can have a strong moral compass and a truly authentic rebel soul yet a great deal of who they are is presented very calmly and flows much easier than any of the Uranus placements so they actually seem the most “normal’ out of the bunch. the ankles can be a bit on the small side and can have some unique marks or bone structuring towards the foot. 

Uranus In The Twelfth House : A De-Railed Train

(Tangerine Dream - Love on a Real Train)

Uranus in the 12th house is very different from Uranus conjunct Neptune, or Neptune in the 11th..rather it’s a placement that creates this energy of oneness, a seemingly collective stimulus in a final alignment. These natives are Psychic batteries, they feel and sense the world in such a deep way that they often can easily be written off as “weird” or “odd” to the general populace. in many ways they represent the cosmic due to how deep and personal they feel the vibrations of their environment. they often have strong escapist tendencies that are worsened because Uranus often feels stifled in this house. they tend to operate on two planes of consciousness and switch in and out of these personas on a continuous scale. they can often seem as if they’re not feeding you the entire plate, which is true, they are often withholding large chunks of their mind and inner realm from those they meet as a measure of protecting themselves. The dreams can be vivid beyond belief and can have rather peculiar and odd contextual themes that never seem to go hand and hand. the dreams tend to increase in intensity in response to outside triggers. the spiritual constitution is very intense but can get better as more experience is gained over time. behind closed doors these individuals are Brainiac's, wizards, mad scientist and lab rats. they understand it all, listen to them and hear the astral plane on the tips of their tongue. they are immensely intelligent and unknown to many of these natives once tapped, their minds can do unforeseen things. they are adaptable and  easily able to pick up information and skills in the blink of an eye. to them there isn’t an uncharted place in the sky, but since this is the twelfth house this beautiful skill is hidden somewhere in the hum-drum of their psyche and it’s waiting to be freed. 

[shyung-shoes]

thoughts on Dystopia: The Tree of Language by Dreamcatcher 

this album was recommended to me so i thought id write about my first impressions! cause why not!

for reference: i know little more beyond dreamcatcher title tracks and that one of their members has a name that starts with s? and theres potentially someone with a g?

this is very long and i get kind of gay so dont say i didnt warn you

first of all, what a dope title. Dystopia: The Tree of Language how badass does one, already very badass group, have to be? iconic, i love it, i feel like im in an angsty teen dystopian slightly-fantasy young adult novel (think the books of umber for those who know it). im already intrigued

intro:

god damn it this album has an intro. any album with an intro is going to be amazing because intros really do give the first taste of an album’s color and what to expect but also just sound so fucking cool. this kind of reminds me of stray kids? like a victory song piano cover? its dope i love it 40/10

scream:

the VOCALS, the MUSIC, legendary. literally such a good example of a title track. keeps very much in line with what i know of dreamcatcher (rock, strong vocals, contrast between soft and hard beats) but definitely shows a growth from deja vu which im pretty sure is their debut song. i love the rapper’s tone. this couldve been a really repetitive song but it does such a good job of playing with style and tone while still sounding very cohesive. 12098/10 would give 5 stars on yelp

tension:

sounds like an anime op and i fuck with that so hard. like what bhna fight is this the bgm for? maybe in demon slayer? i feel like this would just genuinely sound so cool in japanese and would very much like to hear it. 

red sun:

sexy nuns. i like im in a church secretly run by sexy vampires posing as women of the faith and that is an image i can really support. seriously though, i think this is really funky and i like the percussion (my four years in band are failing me so idk what instrument that is but its the glockenspiel with wooden bars).

black or white:

exact quote: “oh. OH this is dope” these women have such cool sounding vocals. we love to see some good altos and tenors get recognition their time to shine. i love the fake beat drops? like that moment where you think were gonna fuck shit up, it’s just that “black or white” line and its thrilling.

jazz bar:

video game speak easy music. like let this play while i find that one npc character who i inevitably fall in love with during game play and then get crushed when they become irrelevant to the story at large. reminds me of postmodern jukebox. a modern jazzy sound and its so good

sahara:

cowboys? but make it rock and roll? ok very much so lindsey stirling’s roundtable revival music video (go watch it its cool). ladies i dont understand korean but i do understand that this song HITS. yes guitar crescendo! that staccato sa-ha-ra really hits different. kind of reminds me of say my name by ateez. 

in the frozen:

this is the only bside ive heard! and it was in a remix so i hadn’t heard the original version before and god it’s like if elsa went through an emo phase. like let it go but make it my chemical romance. 

daybreak:

oh this is lovely. reminds me of a loona solo song but i cant remember which one so thats gonna bug me forever. really pretty and helps round out the album. more interesting cafe music. legitimately shows their range and helps showcase their softer side but still manages to not sound jarring with the rest of the album

full moon:

the title of this song makes me think of twilight but thats stupid cause the book is called new moon but whatever. n e ways twilight wishes it could be as sexy as this song. this song sounds like what stephanie meyer portrayed edward cullen’s car to be. 

outro:

reminds me of alice’s theme by danny elfman (from the liveaction movie). a little haunting, a little feminine, a lot good. not what i expected from the outro but i think its a nice, subtle closing to the album.

overall thoughts:

this album is incredibly sexy and deserves lots of love. the vocal and musical range is so nice to listen to and it’s such a contrast to the more pop/upbeat gg music that’s in the industry right now. this album sounds very sure of itself and like it knows what it’s trying to do. dreamcatcher has found their color and are making such wonderful use of it. i definitely have to check out the rest of their stuff :D