#It's supposed to be mysterious and stuff
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I wish I could tell the original artist that this drawing permanently changed the entire direction of my life in 2009. I want to shake their hand, look them in the eye, and admit I would not be who I am today if this drawing didn’t exist.
EDIT: Original artist is @ivynajspyder !!!!
#‘but jojo’ you ask. ‘that seems a little ridiculous’#‘don’t you think that’s a little much?’#no. NO. IT IS THE TRUTH.#little baby middle schooler jojo had just gotten squeak squad. the first kirby game she ever owned.#and she loved it even tho there’s a lot she didn’t understand#like who dedede was supposed to be or why copy abilities existed#I asked for the game because my roommate at swim camp had it and she told me the plot of the game when I looked over her shoulder to watch#(the plot she told me was completely made up btw she said kirby had to save the dimension from dark overlord and did not mention the squeak#and said stuff about meta knight being a bad guy idk I realize now she was just weaving a tale of her own haha)#SO I WAS NOT AWARE OF THE LORE. I had only played the one game and it’s the one people don’t like the plot of#but meta knight completely intrigued me#what was this blue sword wielding little kirby dude doing here??#so I’d replay his boss fight over and over again just to get that glimpse at his face#and I’d sit and wonder what it all meant. who was this mysterious swordsman??#and the boss fight was hard!!! it cost me to beat it at the time but I’d still do it to see his face#AND THEN AFTER LIKE A YEAR OF THIS it occurred to me that there was a kirby wiki online#so I found all the pictures of his face and my little fangirl-raised-by-deviantart mind ATE THIS UP.#and then I look up that one fateful google search……… the one that changed me#meta.#knight.#maskless.#and this drawing was towards the top of the results#I went feral about a fandom related topic for the very very first time#I lost my MIND. HOW can a character be so cute AND COOL??! I was a changed child.#I consumed the hoshi no kaabii anime like it was the only piece of media on earth#I drew comics about him. I made my first kirby oc ever to go on a grand adventure on him.#I filled my notebooks with kirby art to the point my mom was like ‘jossie. you REALLY need to branch out. these are just orbs.’#and now I am the kirby artist I am today. so yes. YES. this drawing did change my life.#thanks for reading. and thanks to the original artist. I tried to find them to link but nothing. so if you know pls tell me#THE END!!! and remember! your art makes a difference in people’s lives even if they don’t say it to your face!!!!
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study
#well I don’t know how to explain the first pic but the second was me doing Mr e face studies#I’ve been really into this weird au idea where Pericles stays with the new mystery inc. like he just lives with them.#it’s kind of supposed to be sweet but it’s mostly focused on Pericles habits and stuff. most of which I made up so like#technically not analysis I guess#Scooby doo#scooby doo mystery incorporated#mr. E#ricky owens#professor pericles#i have to be an honest man for a second I had a confused crush on Mr. E as a kid#it’s back. I am no longer confused. Amen
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I love ggy so much how did they accidentally make the most intriguing hypothetical gay romance ever
#also the book is just so fucking good#and tony becker is literally the best fnaf book protaganist ever once you understand his character#and how crazy the book writes him#like oh my god hes so tunnel visioned doomed by the narritave#any scenario where tony survives the attack is the best idea ever like fr#its just so fun and awesome to make stuff up with that very loose premise#like u can do anything#and the characters are likeable too because they have FLAWS#tony isnt a bad person hes just in a bad place and is an asshole without realizing#and also twelve#like how am i not supposed to become obsessed with beckory when tony spent the whole book#accidentally obsessing over gregorys evil side and then being so tunnel visioned by his own emotional baggage that it kills him#exactly how his father warned him#and his father is the reason hes even so deep into solving mysteries like#and u can put that onto gregory if tony ever survived the attack#like he wouldnt want to believe it the same way he didndt want to believe his dad did it and repeat history#by delving deep into ggy#like damn every relationship ever with gregory is so fucking interesting#ggy never stop being awesome#pandas.txt#obviously beckory isnt the only reason i like ggy but damn its a big reason#tony and Gregory are both so flawed and have so much going on in their head theyd be fucking crazy together#also expanding on the tony stuff i said earlier gregorys side has so much potential too like#even if tony died if gregory ever remembered hed mourn tony and have to deal with that#even if they werent even that close at the time and Gregory doesnt even like. actually have any memories of being friends with him#and if tony survived its like gregorys remembering this faceless nameless boy as the only connection to his past#like what if they both searched for eachother after surviving what then
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any trans person should get HRT for free (no insurance required) and in exchange they should participate in the occasional study/survey.
research into sex hormones and their effects is so scarce and you have a whole ass population group who's willing to not only switch up their hormones but keep it up for very long periods of time. you could run some incredible long term studies with participants across all sorts of demographics.
while it's impossible to conduct any blind studies on this due to observable change in appearance, there's still so so so much data we're giving up on because we'd rather...
lemme check my notes. that cant be right.
...because we'd rather deny trans people health care and let them die. huh.
#trans#transgender#ramble#queer#lgbtq#genderqueer#hrt#trans hrt#crimes against the gender convention#someone make me a scientist im onto something#like yes obviously science needs funding and shit but if we can stuff dead fish into mri machines we can give out some pills#we have a... grasp on physical changes but even that is limited#effects on behavior have like. 3 studies in 30+ years or something like that#and we cant really extrapolate from animal experiments because human brains are so much more complex#and what about variants!! id fucking love to take a fucked up lil cocktail to see which aspects of a physical transition can be isolated#like if i take testosterone i am SO gonna start balding but theres supposed combinations that would inhibit the effect on hair loss/growth#but i cant have that because theres not enough science on it to get it approved here (especially if insurance is involved)#hello i am the science lemme do it!! gimme!!!!#id even let you float me in a vat of mysterious green liquid#actually that seems like a benefit
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I’ve always known that they would sometimes like and repost my stuff and I always got very excited But In some way I realized:holy shit the authors of my favorite book like my stuff Making also realize that I’m mutuals with very cool artists
And it’s kinda making go crazy wanting to delete my entire account because the stuff I post aren’t that good and for some reasons there getting attention
I have followers And I love them I’m glad someone enjoys my art , stories and shitposts but at the same time I’m like: I don’t want followers i don’t deserve them I’m the account that you’d see and go haha and then forget about not follow them
Anyways I’m going a bit insane But I’m hoping it will go away after my shower
#bendy and boris in the inky mystery#babqftim#inky mystery#like what do you mean people like my stuff …? there not supposed!#going insaaaane#I have a lot of big feelings right now
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also here's two terrible photos of what ive been knitting this week:


there's too many stitches so i cant stretch it out properly, and the construction makes it hard to really show it off. also im in bed so it's the best i can do right now.
anyhow this is clue 1 of Stephen West's Go Go Dynamo MKAL, which im two weeks behind on but it's fine. it's been fun so far, minus the 'bubbles', which are the bane of my existence.
#im a stockinette hater (when worked flat. truthfully im a purl hater even though i Norwegian purl)#but it really has been fun#i truly dont know how this man comes up with this stuff#my mom is also making one in shades of blue#technically we're only supposed to use two colors but that's not something either of us are capable of#i thought about putting the pics under a readmore bc it's an MKAL but idk how big a deal it is here#like on ig or ravelry id use the placeholder image but like. i dont think anyone here will really be 'spoiled' for it yknow?#if im wrong let me know#oh and to those who have no idea wtf im talking about#every year stephen west does an Mystery Knit Along#with 'clues' (parts of the pattern) released every week and the idea is you dont know what you're making when you start#it will be a shawl but we have no idea how it will be constructed or what stitch patterns will be used or what it will look like#(my mom and i always wait until week 2 or 3 to see what it starts as bc we've been had in the past by a different designer)#clue 4 comes out next week and we have no idea where it's gonna go#theyre fun even though we cheat lol#anywayy#knitting#ks talks
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another year, still drawing people doing things to each other. you might or might not know this but i started working as a doctor this year and i'm happy/proud it hasn't kept me from still drawing my silly little fictional guys. it's not much but it's honest work.
thank you to everyone who's liking, reblogging and commenting on my art! it means everything to me <3
#yia*#a#i guess that sums up most of what happened this year already#i think everyone knows how bad the healthcare system is for workers but - it really is bad out here lol stay safe yall#so many sickly yellows in my picks for this year... what does it all mean#the doctor thing encompasses a bunch of stuff like. being a friggin doctor. doing ENT and liking it like i hoped i would. doing surgeries#earning proper money from a proper full-time job for the first time in my life. doing 24h shifts and being on call.#still haven't finished my thesis and honestly don't know how i'm supposed to with the time i have w/o killing every bit of joy in my life#but thus are the mysteries of existence#the girl with social anxiety who didn't understand starting i.v.s - she's come a long way and i rarely take the time to be proud of it.#also i'm proud of my gay fanart. equally as much i think. so here's YOUR reminder to be proud of YOU.
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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finally watching Twin Peaks wish me luck
#I can’t believe I /haven’t/ seen it yet tbh I spend like half my summers in washington n I used to be real into mysteries#you’d think it’s completely up my alley#but idk it never seemed all that interesting to me before#but yk what I liked blue velvet so here goes…#god this show is supposed to be completely insane wish me so much luck lol#rambling#personal stuff#delete later#twin peaks
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I wish Hazbin had more than 8 episodes this season bc 1) the pacing is all over the place (outside of episode 4) and 2) it would’ve been so nice to actually see when and why Alastor started to genuinely care about the hotel.
The pilot and the first episode of the show characterize him as sticking around for the entertainment because of how silly the idea of redeeming a sinner is to him but then episode 5 has him fully backing up Charlie’s wishes for the hotel and even tells Mimzy she’s welcomed to stay if she actually wants to try redemption and was upset she had put the hotel in danger with her presence.
I think that turnaround in Alastor’s perspective is so interesting but when did that happen? Why did that happen? How did that happen? What made him care?
He clearly still has ulterior motives, there’s 0 denying that given his scene with Husk in the same episode, but he does seem to actually care about Charlie and her hotel. Which can be connected to the leash Husk claimed Alastor is bound by but Alastor is also the most distant from the cast.
We never see him around everyone for more than a few minutes at a time. Everyone went out to the club in episode 6 but Alastor is nowhere to be found in the entire episode.
That bond with anyone in the hotel, even Charlie, that would explain Alastor’s sudden support in the hotel has not been shown on screen and I really wish the show had more time to do that.
That’s really what Hazbin lacks. Time. Time to slow down and just let the characters breathe. Everything is moving so fast because they probably didn’t know a second season was coming until later which I can understand but that also means the plot takes priority over the characters and a majority of the cast is suffering from it.
Angel’s the only character who’s gotten an episode solely about him and exploring, expanding, and developing his character and his bonds in the hotel are what we see the most. This makes sense given he’s the main guest in the hotel but no other character has been able to have their own character and arc be explored the way Angel has.
The show needed more episodes like Masquerade to explore the cast before diving headfirst into the Heaven vs. Hell redemption conflict. That was always going to be the direction the show went in but they needed so much more time to do it because there are so many characters to juggle and so much is happening. Big moments that are supposed to matter don’t hit as hard as they should bc the cast is overstuffed and everyone is fighting for screen time.
This isn’t the teams fault, they’re doing a decent job with the limit time they were given but 8 episodes is not enough time for a show this ambitious with everything it’s trying to do. Doubling the episode count to 16 would’ve done wonders for the pacing and the show could slow down and take its time.
A lot of what Hazbin presents are good ideas. It’s all interesting but none of it is given enough time because the big Heaven and Hell plot has to take a majority of the shows focus. I do hope season 2 fixes this but that’s also gonna depend where the show is going after season 1 is over. We’ll see next week.
My main wish for the show going forward is each character gets their chance to be explored just as Angel has.
#hazbin has the millie problem of helluva boss but like everyone is millie#you understand who they are on a basic level but that’s kinda it#there’s not enough depth beyond what little we know#the show tries especially with Vaggie and Charlie#and i think Charlie is handled better than most of the cast outside of Angel#but oof Vaggie#i see what they wanted to do with her but again the pacing of it is a mess#everyone else in the hotel has their moments for sure#i utterly love husk and i wanna see more of him#but he needs his own episode that explores him and his whole deal with alastor#which would in turn explain some of alastor’s stuff#ik he’s supposed to be a mystery and that’s fine#but we can still learn more about him as a person without knowing all of his past y’know#anyway all I thought as i wrote this post was wow i’d get jumped on twitter for saying this#just wanted to talk about thisss#i love hazbin and helluva but they are never beating the pacing issue allegations#helluva’s pacing is actually more annoying for different reasons tho#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel spoilers
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I don’t think I’ll ever understand what kinds of posts get the attention of the non-notif mutuals.
#i.e. the mutuals who don’t have notifs on for me#nothing against them#i just don’t know how they find what they find#is it the tumblr algorithm?#it’s not supposed to have an algorithm?#why doesn’t the following page show everything the people you follow post?#these and other mysteries#never to be answered#cb writing stuff
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Without Paul is Dead the hit Disney show Gravity Falls very likely wouldn't exist. In this essay I will-
#no because the pipeline is CRAZY#Alex hirschs mother loved the beatles and saw them at Shea#told Alex about the 'supposed' hidden backwards messages#alex becomes obsessed with backwards stuff and gets into researching conspiracies and creepy stuff#he makes gravity falls#thats basically how he describes it in the commentary track for Boyz Crazy#now i want to make something thag combines gravity falls with something magical mystery tour era related#i wonder if there are any subtle beatles easter eggs in the show..........................
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I’m extremely worried that someone is going to leak all of Sonic 3 today. I really am. I know that the person that hacked all of those production companies hacked dubbing studios and I’m not sure how much will be leaked. I don’t want someone to leak the whole thing because of impatience
That’s completely understandable, my dear. I understand that feeling very well. A bunch of talented individuals came together to work on something great. It would take away the opportunity to praise those who have dedicated hours to the project.
If it helps, I have been keeping tabs on the situation all on Twitter. The individual that claimed to have the unfinished video seemed to have neglected uploading the content. He promised that he would today, but never did. It was other shows from Netflix. I don’t think that he will if he stalled all day. This makes me think that it is a bluff.
For now, I’m pretty sure that it’s safe to be on social media. If worst case scenario happens, make sure to blacklist any hashtags that have to do with the movie. I will upload the trailer and poster here when Paramount Pictures releases it.
#sonic movie#sonic movie 3#It took a bit but I found one of the supposed ‘leakers’ on Twitter#I think he’s bluffing about the movie because all he showed for Sonic 3 was the title card stuff from February#mystery anon#off topic
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Wait is her psychiatrist Hannibal?!?!
Hey!! Something like that 🙂 her psychiatrist is heavily inspired by Hannibal.
I really enjoyed Silence of the Lambs and the Hannibal series and movies. I haven't read the books which I really should. But I am super interested in Hannibal as a character. I'm also a firm enjoyer of the cannibal trope as both a metaphor for love but also exploitation of power/ego.
Shes a redhead with a 70s blowout. Think curtain bangs but this is another image that is very her energy.

Amulya's psychiatrist is a woman by the name of Milana Spezia Deodato. She is an Italian woman that originates from a family of werewolf hunters. From a young age she was raised to be a hunter and it caused her to develop some peculiar behaviors and habits as a result. On the outside though, she is a very intelligent woman who at most seems a little eccentric and polite but snooty. She is also known as a very good cook! She was hired in the 1970s by Hellsing via a recommendation l from Sir Islands.
In my lore, I have it as Islands beinf part of the roundtable but his family owns and runs hospitals. Milana did her years of residency at one of the hospitals that the Islands operated. She obviously made an impression with the family and Islands himself for her background in monster hunting and how she was researching how to apply it to her field of psychiatry. Islands suggested her to Arthur for a new department of Hellsing that was focused in rehabilitating individuals who had experienced encounters with the supernatural. This was in hopes of keeping the operations of Hellsing from the public more and that people could return to normalcy in an easier fashion. Some people who have those experiences never exactly recover.
For Milana, she was given people to research and treat, while she got a good paycheck. But it also gave her plenty of food. Her cannibal habits are not known by anyone in Hellsing(aside from Walter ofc but listennn). Anybody she takes are simply seen as having fallen in battle and missing. She was always very good at covering her tracks.
Arthur handing Amulya to her was out of desperation because realistically, Amulya couldn't express the worries she had to any psychiatrist. It would put Hellsing at risk. Additionally, it gave Amulya someone in-house to talk to. If she had an episode, she always had immediate support through someone with actual experience and licensing.
Amulya came to rely on her and was being treated properly for some time. Many of her lapses was due to her own spiraling.
Milana had varying thoughts on her. She found her intriguing and a good ticket to get a look at what Arthur is like behind closed doors. She found herself very entertained by her dynamic between Amulya and Walter. She knew of his feelings from observing them both. It wasn't neccesarily wanting to match them up but more that she was interesting in seeing what would happen. The possibilities, the reactions of them all. She did eventually get bored of the situation. Milana did know Amulya was going to commit suicide before it occurred. It was how it affect Arthur, Walter, and anyone else in the organization. She got what she wanted, though she was out under alot of pressure by Arthur after the fact but Amulya's death was seen as her mental state getting the better of her.
After one of her attempts, Milana did start doing sessions with Walter. It was a conflict of interest but they couldn't exactly afford anyone outside of the organization. Their sessions was ordered by Arthur so Walter couldn't exactly refuse. Walter was never a fan of her. She had a habit of prodding anyone she talked to so he felt like he was always under a microscope. He never wanted to be analyzed while all she wanted to do was analyze him. Milana knew he was involved in an organization separate from Hellsing while he found out she was a murderer and cannibal. He was disgusted with her despite his own actions. Really they were two fucked up individuals that found a messed up but hesitant (on Walter's side) kinship with one another.
Milana remains in Hellsing till after the battle of London where she moves to America for a new start and new roster of meals.
Her and Walter's dynamic is this:

#hellsing#hellsing ultimate#hellsing oc#walter c dornez#walter dornez#amulya hellsing#hellsing organization#Milana Deodato#yall caught me on the hannibal stuff#her office actually has a tonnof fairytale books#she has a weird love for them and often uses them for allusion and helping people understand their experiences#i might go into more of her past but its supposed to be kinda mysterious#her philosophy regarding cannibwlism is basically#“if they can eat us then it should only be natural for me”#she sees herself as honestly more human than the majority of people#paet of why she is still human!#she has never given that up but she sees herself as above people#thank u for the ask!😭💖#im honestly so excited i got to talk about her#walter hates talking to her lmfao#there are big differences between her and hannibal#milana has never really cared deeply for anyone unlike how hannibal had his sister#also she did a ton of experimental treatments on ammy#girl has done some mushroom tea
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thinkin about thinkin about things
#VAUGE POSTINGGGGGG because sometimes i wanna say thoughts But Then. public space (the internet)#kills me though because sometimes I rlly wanna say an idea i have in mind but then im like suddenly hyper aware and overthink abt who'll#see and then i go 'damn ill just lose my mystique that way and be judged w/o being told on HOW im being judged ..#but i still wanna mention it because i love talking abt everything (but then. the horrors of being perceived [BUT#WHERE ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO GO </3])' . honestly i could keep getting into the specifics but i prolly shouldnt#ANYWAY the idea isnt bad but i just worry that the stuff i post with it will be recognizable (actually... unless i just dont tag it?? idfk)#rrrrrrrrrrrrrr................. i wanna be so mysterious so bad.... ('mysterious' my ass LMAO whats up with me hiding things from moots . )#aauurgrhrhrgrh anyway imm give my thoughts . some more thought#ash chats
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#ryuuji suguro#blue exorcist#suguro ryuji#ao no exorcist#bon suguro#manga ryuuji#suguro ryuuji#ryuji suguro#cram school#chapter 43#7 mysteries#i mean i do want to know what the aria is supposed to do if not arias#no one knows he's gotten any dragoon stuff at this point#it was mentioned way back when rin asked what meisters there were#but never came back up#and won't be mentioned for a few more chapters#and in a few minutes#he will be told to do an aria#so i think koneko would have done better to tell him to not try death verses alone#to be more versatile in what arias he uses#that sometimes other methods would be better for killing the demon than a death verse
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