#but oof Vaggie

[sophfandoms53]

I wish Hazbin had more than 8 episodes this season bc 1) the pacing is all over the place (outside of episode 4) and 2) it would’ve been so nice to actually see when and why Alastor started to genuinely care about the hotel.

The pilot and the first episode of the show characterize him as sticking around for the entertainment because of how silly the idea of redeeming a sinner is to him but then episode 5 has him fully backing up Charlie’s wishes for the hotel and even tells Mimzy she’s welcomed to stay if she actually wants to try redemption and was upset she had put the hotel in danger with her presence.

I think that turnaround in Alastor’s perspective is so interesting but when did that happen? Why did that happen? How did that happen? What made him care?

He clearly still has ulterior motives, there’s 0 denying that given his scene with Husk in the same episode, but he does seem to actually care about Charlie and her hotel. Which can be connected to the leash Husk claimed Alastor is bound by but Alastor is also the most distant from the cast.

We never see him around everyone for more than a few minutes at a time. Everyone went out to the club in episode 6 but Alastor is nowhere to be found in the entire episode.

That bond with anyone in the hotel, even Charlie, that would explain Alastor’s sudden support in the hotel has not been shown on screen and I really wish the show had more time to do that.

That’s really what Hazbin lacks. Time. Time to slow down and just let the characters breathe. Everything is moving so fast because they probably didn’t know a second season was coming until later which I can understand but that also means the plot takes priority over the characters and a majority of the cast is suffering from it.

Angel’s the only character who’s gotten an episode solely about him and exploring, expanding, and developing his character and his bonds in the hotel are what we see the most. This makes sense given he’s the main guest in the hotel but no other character has been able to have their own character and arc be explored the way Angel has.

The show needed more episodes like Masquerade to explore the cast before diving headfirst into the Heaven vs. Hell redemption conflict. That was always going to be the direction the show went in but they needed so much more time to do it because there are so many characters to juggle and so much is happening. Big moments that are supposed to matter don’t hit as hard as they should bc the cast is overstuffed and everyone is fighting for screen time.

This isn’t the teams fault, they’re doing a decent job with the limit time they were given but 8 episodes is not enough time for a show this ambitious with everything it’s trying to do. Doubling the episode count to 16 would’ve done wonders for the pacing and the show could slow down and take its time.

A lot of what Hazbin presents are good ideas. It’s all interesting but none of it is given enough time because the big Heaven and Hell plot has to take a majority of the shows focus. I do hope season 2 fixes this but that’s also gonna depend where the show is going after season 1 is over. We’ll see next week.

My main wish for the show going forward is each character gets their chance to be explored just as Angel has.

[allykatsart]

The Fall of Joy

▶️Next

An idea that I pray does not happen. I stg Emily better be safe and happy these next two episodes-

Hypothetical Fallen Angel Emily! Because this angst would not leave my brain. It hurts to leave heaven, but she won't be alone. If Emily was cast from heaven, I think the hotel would welcome her with open arms...

Commission me

[wickedwendigo]

Pawns at my disposal

[no0dlecatk]

More hazbinssss while i waiiit ft. ozzie and barbie

[thickheadedram]

“I wonder who I’m gonna be killing next? Maybe someone in this little hunting party we got going on…”

[selineram3421]

Deer Demon Child Headcanons

Requested

Alastor & Child Reader

Warnings? ⚠

⚠ implied death, mention of blood, mention of cannibalism, weapons-gun ⚠

It was a surprise to everyone that a child wandered into the hotel.

A little deer demon.

That's you

Climbed up one of the bar stools and stared the cat man down until he finally noticed them.

"Uh..hey? Kid."

"I want juice!", you pointed at a bottle behind him that was on the shelf.

"That's not juice."

While distracting you with magic tricks and cards games, Husk called Charlie to let her know that a new guest had arrived.

The Princess ran to get to the lobby and rushed over to the bar.

"Hi! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!", Charlie sings out before noticing the little deer. "Oh."

Everyone is called into the lobby.

"Ok!", Charlie claps her hands together and introduces you to the group. "Everyone, be nice and say hi."

Later on you are asked by Vaggie and Charlie how you got to the "red place."

Mostly everyone left and it was only you three. Four.

"Before I woke up here I was with my moma.", you said while coloring your drawing. "Dad had a shiney toy in his drawer and showed it to me a lot of times. It made fun clicking noises. I wanted to play with it, so I took it out."

As you were explaining you drew out the shape of a gun.

"I wanted to show Moma but she looked scared. And when I tried to make the clicky noise it came out different. It made a bang and then Moma fell."

You drew your mother covered in red.

"I tried to wake her up but she wouldn't get up. I got sad and started crying."

You didn't notice Charlie and Vaggie looking sad.

"Then Dad came home and started screaming at me and took the toy away. And then everything went dark for a while."

Picking up your paper, you showed the girls your drawings.

"And then I woke up to the red sky!"

Charlie hugged you after and said that she'll make sure you go to Heaven.

Oof sad backstory.

Husk literally growls at Alastor everytime he mentions venison for dinner.

Alastor has joked to others that he'll eat you but stopped once he grew fond of you.

"Little fawn.", he smiles as he greets you. "Would you like gingerbread cookies?"

To be honest, everyone is worried that Alastor might kill you. But surprise, surprise! They are shocked when he takes care of you instead.

You're the favorite hotel guest.

Anyone that tries anything will be taken care of.

Charlie did a talent show day and you sang, surprising everyone with your angelic like voice.

You're a curious little deer and the hotel guests and staff find you in odd places.

Once Angel found you upsidedown behind the couch that was against the wall.

"What are ya doing back there?", he asked after pulling you out.

"Niffty said there was treasure!", you smiled.

Alastor finds it adorable that you go to him when someone you don't know/scary person is in the hotel.

Sir Pentious is told to put all of his weapons away.

Everyone dubs you as Alastor's child. Even the Radio Demon himself.

Vaggie threatens Alastor after he jokes that you'll be a cannibal like him.

Of course he'd never do that but its funny to see Vagatha's and Husker's pissed off faces.

Alastor keeps up with the human news and learns that your father went to prison. So the Radio Demon waits for the man to fall.

Art will be provided. (Later)

~Seline, the person.

Part 2

Art

Taglist@

@ducky-died-inside @scary-noodlesblog @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @naelys-the-aster @biromanticboba @kiraisastay @faioula16 @pooplyface1423 @lbcreations-blog @+?

ML for Alastor🎙

[hazbin-loony-bin]

*a few asexual points lost

We as a society don’t talk enough about the fact that Alastor just fully slapped Vaggies ass.

like dude

What the fuck

[hawkeyyee]

oof same vaggie

[notherpuppet]

Hey, man. How are you?

Any updates on the upcoming comics and what can we expect?

Hey, man. I'm good!

I guess I've got updates for anyone who is looking for some! I'm starting grad school next week and with the start of the school year, I will be working again. Two different jobs wahhhh. So you can probably expect me to not post as much as I have for these past months. (I just have no idea how much time I'll be able to allot to this hobby! But I really hope I can play in the universe as much as possible).

Even if I end up posting less, I have totally accepted that I'm in a long-term relationship with Hazbin Hotel, especially given that we're getting so many seasons and animation takes A LOT OF TIME. So I plan to be here with y'all the whole time hahaha.

I have SO MANY WIPs, so whenever I get the chance to draw them, I'll be working on those and posting them :) Just as usual, the schedule for comics or fanart is whenever I post it lol. Some comics/fanart that's all cooking right now includes: 🍳 -Hazbin Hotel filler 🏨: Comics and fanart that focuses on Alpha Universe's characters and/or things that I think could have possibly happened in congruence with canon. I like drawing demons. -My Deer Nanny AU 👨🏽👱🏻‍♂️👧🏼👪: More chapters, but nothing as long as Let's Dance so far. Mostly day-to-day insights into Alastor, Lucifer, and Charlie's lives in that universe. Lots of moments to see how Alastor and Lucifer's relationship continues to develop as they continue living together. Even though the chapters are much shorter, there's A LOT more of them. Like, I think I've already drafted 50 more pages oof. -Guardian Angel AU 👼🏼🩸: This AU is a Radioapple and Chaggie AU, where I want to focus on both of those relationships simultaneously in the story. So, expect more comics in this AU! -Devil Lucifer/Human Alastor AU (Title: Deux Démons) 😈👿: I just started making ideas for this AU, but more keep coming, so I think I may have some more radioapple dynamics in this sense. This one is a much more ludicrous shipping scenario than the others I think haha. -Vaggie Fanfic🎀🪽 : I did write a Vaggie focused fanfic when I was slacking off at work the other day. But it's PROSE, which is so crazy to me. I'm not much of a writer in that medium, so it's not very long. I just have one artwork that I'm pairing with that fanfiction and I will probably post it this week. Thanks for following me! Always excited to share the fanart I make for this show I'm deeply obsessed with :)

[deadghosy]

HAZBIN HOTEL X ROBLOX NOOB! READER

prompt: your best friend John Doe hacked you into a universe where hell is much different in your mind

“OOF-” you said as you press the buttons on your ps5. A portal opens as blocky person with yellow skin exits out of the portal looking at you. “JD!” You said with a “:P” face. “noob…you get to get out the house more…” John Doe said with a static voice as he picked up your bloxy body and thrown you into a portal as you kept smiling

“:) yay I’m falling.” You said out loud as you felt yourself fall in the air. You fell but landed on your feet like always. You look around to see that it smell like must, ass, and most importantly fire. You walked around just smiling as demons and sinners looked as if you were some weirdo…..

You came across the hotel and applied for a job to be the schedule manager. You got a red outfit to match vaggie and Charlie as you grab a flat board and started to write who gets to do what.

Noob! Reader is the type to pull out a cannon out of fucking no where and fuck someone’s life up🦆(a/n: pinkie pie type shit)

I can see Alastor watching you do a r6 dance as he just looked at you weirdly with a strained smile. You literally said out loud “/E DANCE!” And started to dance 😭

Lucifer got scared because he accidentally let you dove off a roof…but you respawned with a blue force field around you making Lucifer think you were an angel.

You love the egg boiz as they love you too! You do color sheets with them as Pentious brings you guys some cookies like a mom💗

You had onetime pulled a chainsaw out because husk said he needed to get a haircut on his fur. You literally pullled it out of no while husk jolted looking at your crazed face as you reved it up.

“You said you needed a hair cut!!” “I SAID HAIR CUT! NOT END MY LIFE YOU FUCKER!” Husk yells back as you chase him smiling like “:D” with the chainsaw. It was giving scooby doo as you kept chasing him.

Lucifer would be weirded out with Noob as noob just sticks their tongue out like the :P face while Lucifer pokes you curious about your game like box body.

I imagine noob! Reader showing Charlie a picture of bacon hair boy who is doing orange justice in the back. “Oh is that your friend?” Charlie says with a nervous smile at how your friend’s hair literally looks like bacon or is. You nodded excitedly as you wave your phone happily at bacon hair boy.

You blasted “it’s raining tacos” outside of the Vee’s tower when learning your friends had opps in there. So you wanted to annoy them.

This lasted for 2 days until vaggie had found you and took you home as you screamed out the song LOUD AND PROUD

I can imagine Lucifer making you a duck hat that says “don’t duck with me!” It’s so cute 🦆

I headcannon noob!reader to be the most dangerous being in hell as they literally been to every other gun and fighting game of the roblox universe.

NOOB SOLOS‼️‼️🔥

You know those badass Roblox games with those cool combat moves? That’s what you use. 🤨

You grabbed a sinner’s face and run dragging their body in the ground with a smile. You lifted your arm and swing them around as they flew to who knows where as the crew behind you had an either shocked or entertained face.

One time Charlie and you were shopping in a mall and you peaked over the boarder to keep people from falling. “I wonder if I can die from this height.” “NOOB NO-” that’s when you had to get a kid leash on you anytime you go out with the staff.

It was a nice day as Angel was throwing knives to increase his skills. You walked by him curiously grabbing two knives and throwing them at the same time. Making it hit the bullseye as Angel looked at you shock.

“Whoa kid, how did you learn to do that?” Angel asked pulling out the knives you made in the bullseye. “I was murder once!” You said with a happy smile as you walked away. Angel dust has the most confused face ever(picture below)

I headcannon noob!reader to be like Kirby. So like noob pulls out a knife to be murder, and then they could pull out a gun as Sheriff✨🦆

“Pew pew pew” you said as you stood on the balcony of the hotel as you shot at random sinners. Alastor appeared behind you confused but laughs at the misery of the sinner running when a missed shot almost killed them.

One time Angel gave you a Tommy gun not suspecting you know how to use it….you literally started to blast sinners away-

You SHOT AN OLD LADY ALSO😨

yeah Angel never gave you his Tommy gun ever again.

As you stayed in hell, you didn’t know that you would be spied on by the angels as Adam laughs at how chaotic and naive you are.

You’re so use to bullshit in Roblox you just stand there like “🧍🏾” as shit goes on. Literally when Charlie was panicking when the extermination was due in 6 months

During a uno game you ate a card as husk was trying to win but forfeited in anger as you screamed out uno. Leaving the missing card out of your mouth….it got quiet so quick as husk chased after you.

Niffty finds you amazing as you both have crazed tendencies. You both literally cause made chaos around places 🤭

YOU USE YOUR ADOPT ME SCAMMING SKILLS TO SCAM PEOPLE 😭😭 I CAN SEE THIS

The overlords are confused when they see Lucifer bring you to a meeting for once. You just sat there eating a taco. “Ello.” You said waving your blocky arm at them.

When watching the horror movies with the crew, you don’t react at all with Alastor as you been in lots of horror games with that one guy named Guest…you miss home and him.

I headcannon that you once accidentally summoned John Doe because you sneezed and he literally stood there as you hugged him. The rest of the crew was confused thinking he was your brother.

[harleehazbinfics]

‌ For the Dreaming

Lucifer Morningstar x devout!reader

devout series

Word Count: 920+

A/N: word puke basically. y'all i was writing this on my phone notes, takes me back to my highschool days writing on wattpad 😭 also also i need to work on a poster for this series hngshd *update: i got the poster >:]]

You finally got around to having lessons with Lucifer on flying. Husk could've helped you, but he couldn't be bothered. While all he did was just doze around the bar and barely does anything, you respected his decision and left him to himself. Leading you at Lucifer's door.

‌ As you softly knock folding hands to yourself as you wait with a small smile as you greet him much to his pleasant surprise.

"Hey, (y/n)! Come in, come in! What can I do for you?" He asked letting you in his room.

"I wanted to ask you for your help," you chirped adorably making the former angel smile, "I wanted to learn how to fly. I can get by with walking but it could be helpful when I'm trying to get away from one of Vaggie and Angel's fights."

‌ He smiles at your joke, and nods, agreeing to your request. So he takes you to the hotel's roof and teaches you how to flap your wings on the ground. Then takes you to the air teaching you how to glide and practice how and when to flap your wings.

‌ Your sessions would go on for a couple weeks until you could confidently fly by yourself, and even take Lucifer on some races that you'd naturally lose to. The man knew how to fly before the Earth was even created and he had 3 pairs of wings, so what chances would you have had to win against him.

‌ However, that doesn't mean that he isn't proud of you all the same. He was enamored by how gracefully you flew, the elegant tuck of your wings when you dove under obstacles, how your body moves along your movements like a captivating dance and most importantly, how your wings flutter subconsciously as you talked and joked with him.

‌ It didn't take a genius to realize that this duck-loving King of Hell was definitely having feelings towards you. Oof.

‌ He noticed that despite your conservative behavior you normally show around others, when you let your walls down, he realizes that you enjoyed jokes a lot despite how corny they would be and enjoyed sharing the same type of humor to him. He learnt that you were just naturally kind to others, being their shoulder to cry on, being so generous and helpful to others without expecting anything in return. Which was such a fresh breath of air in this damned place, that only takes from one another.

‌ When he asks what your dreams were, you smiled distantly. You explained that you never had dreams for yourself, as a servant of God, you have wished the best for people hoping blessings will find their way and enlighten them in their time of need. But you never pursued any of your time towards any hobbies. Not because you didn't have time, but because you were content in the role that you played and seeing such happy faces that you've helped.

‌ Lucifer knew you were such a kind soul, but he never knew that it was to this extent. But he wanted to help you realize your interests, so he starts picking out what you enjoyed doing aside from your missionary work. You shared that you normally journaled and read bibles and various genres of books.

‌ Both of you divulged and shared your interest that never realized that you were gone for 3 days away from the hotel, away in Lucifer's castle messing around and playing Lucifer's duck inventions and papers sprawled out on the floor, until Charlie called her dad worriedly.

‌ Both of you raced to the hotel and explained what happened to Charlie to calm her when she was on the brink of a mental breakdown.

‌ To assure her daughter, he summons yours and his work on the waiting lounge that barely anyone used and continued working with you there in Charlie's sights.

‌ When the princess of hell finally calms down with Vaggie comforting her, she immediately notices how bright her father's eyes had gotten. No longer the disassociated look that seemed to drown out his problems by working and working until he stopped thinking about anything else.

‌ She liked the new look on his dad's face when he clearly enjoyed creating inventions that had a purpose and a face full of wonder. And she definitely knew it was because of you and she couldn't be more grateful to you for it.

‌ You reminded him what it's like to dream, to show wondrous and wonderful things with the world. Things that could change and even help the world. Something that he long buried deep within himself with shame and embarrassment.

‌ He loved the smile on your face when you shared some fact that he probably already knew about or how your eyes shined when he showed you all the tricks his ducks could do.

‌ He most especially loved the way you called his nickname though. It was just the first 2 syllables of his name, but his heart would've flown out his chest when you called him so tenderly.

‌ He knew it came from a place that condemned his name being spoken so brazenly, that you had opted to call out his name as "Luci." He never minded it though, he knew of how much they hated him that it became numbed to him, unfortunately. Besides, he adored how your lips curled to a smile when you called him, so it was nothing under his skin. He loved you all the same.

Wait... Did he just say loved??? ... shit..

[storydays]

Hazbin Hotel: Episode 1 p1

Overture

@avatar_lover

(3rd POV)

"Once upon a time, there was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as Heaven. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshiped good and shielded all from evil. Lucifer was one of these angels. He was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation. But he was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of Heaven. 

For they felt his way of thinking was dangerous to the order of their world. So he watched as  the angels began to expand the universe in their ways. From the dust of Earth, they created Adam and Lilith. Equals as the first of mankind, but despite this, Adam demanded control and Lilith refused. 

Drawn in by her fierce independence, Lucifer found her and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love. Together, they wished to share the magic of free will with humanity, offering the fruit of knowledge to Adam’s new bride, Eve, who gladly accepted.

But this gift came with a curse.

For with this single gift, evil finally found its way to Earth. With it, a new realm of darkness and sin, and the order Heaven worked hard to maintain was shattered. As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucifer and his love into the dark pit he created, never allowing him to see the good that came from Humanity, only the cruel and the wicked. 

Ashamed, Lucifer lost his will to dream. 

But Lilith thrived, empowering a demon-kind with her voice and her songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power. Threatened by this, Heaven made a truly heartless decision, that every year, they would send down an army: an extermination to ensure Hell and its sinners could never rise against them. 

But Lilth’s hope remained. And her dream was passed down to their precious children, the Prince and Princess of Hell.”

A pale hand closed the story book, as a young woman held a key close to her, looking downcast. “Don’t worry Mom, I’ll make you proud.” She whispered, gazing out the window, listening to the screams outside. 

“Charlie?” a voice called startling the young woman. “Augh!” she yelped, as her key turned into a cat, who ran away to hide. Charlie winced before turning to the other woman, “Vaggie! Did you hear all that?” she asked. 

“Uh, yeah. I was standing right there.” smiled the woman, pointing at the door. “Sorry, I get pretty worked up after an extermination happens. The story helps.” Charlie frowned, staring at the book. “I know, don’t worry. I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay?” Vaggie asked, sitting next to the blonde demoness. “I’m fine, just–ya know thinking about family stuff.” “DId you hear your from your mom yet?” Charlie shook her head sadly. 

“Oof, how long has it been now?” 

“Not that long…only…..seven….years. Off doing something important, I’m sure.” Together the women stood up, to look outside the window. “But this kingdom was something she really cared about; something I care about.” Charlie hugged herself, smiling wistfully. 

“Well, at least you’re not alone.” Vaggie soothed, holding Charlie’s hands.”I just hope that what I’m trying to do here will work.” Charlie admitted. “It will. I have faith in you.” the white haired woman smiled, cupping Charlie’s cheek. 

“All right, come on. Alastor says he’s got something he wants to show us.” Vaggie walked out of the room, Charlie going to follow her, before hearing the church bell ring outside. She turned to look out at the clock as it rang, signaling the end of the extermination. Charlie sighed before heading downstairs. 

*Downstairs*

“Well, hello there, you wayward sinner!” A cheery voice, on the television, called out to a demon currently stabbing another on the street, making the two look around confusedly. “Do you like blood, violence and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do, that’s why you’re in Hell! But what would you say if there was a place that had none of that?” questioned the voice as more sinners popped up, varying emotions from annoyance to confusion. The camera then zoomed to reveal the hotel.

“Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! A misguided path to redemption!” the camera then pushed into Charlie’s personal space as she was mid conversation, before she noticed the camera and she smiled and waved nervously. A spider demon appeared behind her, using all four of his hands to give the demoness bunny ears behind her head and on the side. “Founded 5 days ago by Lucifer’s delusional daughter, Charlotte Morningstar! Come place your faith in her inexperienced hands as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!” 

The television showed a picture of Lucifer facing away from Charile as she hugged herself, tears in her eyes. Then it showed Charlie attempting to convince sinners to join. 

“Here we offer fun things! Such as somewhat functional staff.” The camera showed a grumpy cat demon who was clearly drunk as he face planted into the bar. A little cyclops woman scurried around him, chasing a bug with a giant needle in her arm, with a maniacal grin on her face, as she attempted to stab the bug.

“24 hour pest control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor!” The camera panned out to show a piece of wood falling near the spider demon from earlier who was lounging on a couch, clearly bored as he examined his finger nails.  “Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident.”

The spider sent the camera a middle finger, making an effect of the word Wow appear on screen, changing to show a crudely drawing of the hotel with different notes and smiley faces with a large toothy grin. “Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel. Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!” On the screen, appeared: “Call now or don’t! I don’t care! We still don’t have a working phone!” 

The TV shut off as the audience in the room sat around, emotions varying from anger, shock, and disbelief. “So, what’d ya think?”asked a grinning deer demon, dressed head to toe in red and black. 

“I’m sorry, what the FUCK was that?” scowled Vaggie, arms crossed. “Uh, yeah, one note. Alastor…” Charlie started, ignoring how the demon’s smile tightened. “I mean, first off, thank you so much for making this, seriously, amazing, but um..” Charlie played with her fingers as she tried to explain her thoughts, “The tone was maybe a bit..off?” Alastor tilted his head as she continued. 

“We want people to WANT to come here. This makes it look–um..” “Bad. The word you’re looking for is bad.” Vaggie snarled, crossing her arms. 

“Funny, I was going for hilarious!” Alastor laughed. “It didn’t explain anything about how we’re trying to save demons, which is the whole fucking point!” 

“Vaggie is right, Alastor. The commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to save them.” called a smooth voice from another armchair. The male was sitting on the chair, his legs over the arm of the chair, and the cat from earlier purring in his arms, as he stroked her back. This was the Prince of Hell, Heir to the Throne, and Charlie’s big brother, (Y/N).

“Well, my dear (Y/N), I haven’t been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show. The proper way to express oneself!” Alastor turned to the TV with a clear disdain written over his ever grinning face.

“But you insisted on this noisy picture box advertisement. So I had a little fun with it.” “Oh fun, you had a little fun?” Vaggie snapped, before standing. “Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here, a week ago, you told us you would help run this hotel. Instead, you’re mocking us. Nobody’s going to want to come to a place that a powerful Overlord like you thinks is a waste of time.” Vaggie hissed before the 4 noticed a red hand waving in the air. 

“What?” snapped Vaggie as (Y/N) started to walk towards the bar. 

“If’n you’re filimin’ a commercial, can I suggest you take advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?” The spider demon from earlier, sat up lazily, grabbing the bottle of alcohol with him, and winked at the people, gesturing to himself. 

“Angel, you’re a porn star.” Vaggie deadpanned.

“A famous porn star.” Corrected Angel, as (Y/N) came back and sat next to the spider, with a strawberry Daiquiri in his hand. 

“I’ll have the horniest sinners knockin’ down these walls to get in.” The white furred spider grinned smugly, before swinging his legs over (Y/N)’s lap, clearly comfortable. “We are not shooting a porn as a commerical.” Vaggie said firmly. 

“Why not? Sex sells, don’t it?” Angel winked. “I swear, if you film me going at it with Sexy Princey or Mr FancyTalk Creep Voice here, you’d be rollin’ in participants to stay at this tacky hotel.”. Alastor laughed loudly before deadpanning. “Haha! Never going to happen.”

The bespectacled prince cleared his throat nervously, cheeks a slight red as he tried to compose himself. “A-Angel, we appreciate you wanting to use your ‘special skills’ to, um, attract folks to the hotel. But I–WE, meant to say WE don’t want to exploit you in that way.” 

(Y/N) smiled at the spider demon who grinned, leaning into the prince’s space, close to his ear, and purred, “But what if I want you to exploit me……..Daddy?” “HAHA! OKAY!”

(Y/N) yelped, before using his wings to quickly fly up and over by the bar, startling Angel who then smirked knowingly at the demon. 

Turning towards the girls, Angel continued to talk, “This body was made to be exploited, baby. I’ve got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs, I got the lung capacity. Oh, oh! I have the legs, the gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits..”  Charlie laughed uncomfortably as Angel continued talking.

(Y/N)’s phone started ringing, making the prince roll his eyes and walk away, answering his phone. “I’ll be right back.” 

He turned the corner, and grinned deviously as he answered the phone, “What up, bitch!”

*Back with the others*

“Hey, I have a question. If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can’t he just make people stay here?” Angel asked suddenly, pointing at Alastor.

“Oh trust me, I can.” Alastor grinned darkly, briefly showing his horns.

“Why do you think I’m here?” A gruff voice called from the bar, making everyone turn to the bar, towards the grumpy cat from earlier. 

“You think I’d be cleaning bottles and listen to you fucks’ bitch and moan, if he wasn’t forcing me.” The bartender hissed as the little cyclops appeared next to him, grinning. 

“I like being forced.” She giggled. 

“Keep that to yourself, Niff.” grimaced the cat demon. 

“What, you don’t love being here with me, Whiskers?” Angel mocked, making a kissy face. 

“Call me whiskers again, and I’ll jam that bottle down your throat.” the cat threatened.

“Kinky! C’mon, keep talking dirty.” grinned Angel, narrowing his eyes at the cat.

“Angel, let Husk do his job. And no, we can’t force people to stay here; they need to choose to.” Vaggie stated. 

“I’m choosing to be here, and I think it’s all stupid. We’re in Hell, toots.” Angel shrugged, “That’s kind of the end of the line, ain’t it?”

“Well, maybe it doesn’t have to be.” Charlie smiled. “Just because no one’s ever made it out, doesn’t mean it’s not possible.”

Angel placed a hand on Charlie’s shoulder as he leaned down to her height. “Hey, whatever means I can keep crashing here rent free.” The women shot him a deadpanned look, and he scowled. “Crack is expensive.”

(Y/N) quickly came and grabbed Charlie by the arm, grinning excitedly. “Char, come with me!” Charlie yelped as her brother pulled her around the corner. 

“Woah, (Y/N), what’s going on?”

“So the leader of the Angel Army wants to meet…and I managed to convince Dad to let me send you to talk to them instead.”

Charlie tilted her head. “Why me? You usually take care of stuff like that.”

“Because, Char, you are the princess of Hell,and I think you’re old enough to start partaking in stuff like this. And.. you can use this as an opportunity to try to convince Heaven to give your Hotel a chance. “ (Y/N) prompted. 

“Ooh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Charlie hugged her brother before rushing to tell Vaggie. (Y/N) going to lean on the couch, as Vaggie questioned Charlie. “But the extermination just happened. What could they want this soon after?” 

Charlie started singing and twirled Vaggie who replied dizzily, “Okay but just don’t sing to them.”

“That bitch is half way down the street.” (Y/N) and Angel laughed, with the others looking out the door, watching the princess sing. 

“Is she–?” Vaggie asked, worriedly.

“Oh, she’s dancin’.” Angel tossed his head back, drinking the bottle in his hands, ignoring Vaggie’s groan.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

how to explain your relationship's gay dumpster origin story to the child you ended up with as a result GO

Hypothetical chaggie child: “Mom, how did you meet mommy?”

Charlie: *remembers flirtatiously fixing her hair after bandaging a strange woman’s gouged out eye socket as said women sat in an alleyway half dead and smiling up at her*

Charlie: “….Uhhhhh…your mommy was kinda…”

Vaggie: “Mom found me in the trash and took me home, baby.”

Charlie: “You weren’t really IN the trash! Just, trash dumpster adjacent?”

HCC: “Oh.”

HCC: “So I have a wife too, then.”

Charlie: “You have a what.”

HCC: “I found Miss Whisker Sins getting into the trash again yesterday… um, doesn’t that mean I’m married to a rat? Like you and mommy?”

Charlie: “OH THE RAT OH FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT- HOLY SH- Oof!”

Vaggie: “No baby you’re not married to the rat. You can marry anyone you want, or no one. Whatever makes you happy, ‘kay?”

Charlie: “Yes! That.”

HCC: “Okay.”

HCC: “…”

HCC: “What if I wanna marry the rat.”

Vaggie: “I’ll get the dress-up box.”

Charlie: “I’ll round up the uncles and aunts!!!”

HCC: "That might be bad."

Charlie: "Why would it ever be bad? They all love spending time with you!"

HCC: "But uncle Husky's part cat." (sadly) "If he's mean to my new rat wife, I'll have to kill him."

Vaggie: "I'll help."

Charlie: "Vaggie."

Vaggie: "Him. I'll help him not be mean to the r- to your new beautiful rat wife."

HCC: “And mom has to promise not to cry. It’s embarrassing.”

Charlie: “I won’t I won’t~!”

HCC: “Promise?”

Charlie: “Aww angel wings, I PROMISE I won’t cry. Be right back!”

HCC: “…Mommy, make sure she doesn’t cry TOO loudly, okay?”

Vaggie: “No promises, sweetheart.”

[speakofthedebbie]

@manicali still inspiring me to chase my dreams so have some hazbin hotel incorrect quotes i made a while ago + four actually new ones (dividers cuz the last one hurt my eyes lol)

---

alastor: overall, id say that experience was a net positive! vaggie: YOU KILLED AN ENTIRE BLOODLINE! alastor: net positive

kill em with kindness saga

charlie: if you kill someone with anything, kill em with kindness! angel: instructions unclear, i killed them with a tommy gun named kindness

---

vaggie: alastor, why the fuck is there a dead sinner at our dining table?!? alastor: first of all, how dare you assume it was me- vaggie: literally who else would it be. alastor: -second of all, charlie told us the other day to "kill em with kindness" so i baked them a pie alastor: it was poisoned

---

alastor: i toe the line between confidence and arrogance every day lucifer: i thought we all agreed that you are like. firmly on the arrogance side

--- (i altered the next one but you wouldnt know that)

alastor: you roughhouse with a guy one time and suddenly youre in timeout vaggie: alastor, you tried to kill him. and he was a guest alastor: key word being tried. hes still kicking, so i think i shouldnt be in trouble vaggie: do you know how many fucked up people would be walking the streets if that was how the world worked? alastor: i know. im one of them

---

alastor: i only kill people who kinda deserved it vaggie: then whats with the dead sinner at your feet? alastor: he was saying something about women belonging in the kitchen vaggie: vaggie: ...fair

---

charlie: al, what are you doing? alastor: stress release! charlie: ...youre stabbing a very life-like doll of my dad alastor: as i said, stress release!

---(the hotel needs a therapist frfr)

lucifer: who doesnt have a bit of existential dread in the morning? charlie: ...everyone??? husk: thats not normal? alastor: damn it angel: fuck! vaggie: oof niffty: *maniacal laughter in the corner* charlie: should i call someone???

---(charlie please get everyone a therapist trust exercises arent enough)

charlie: and what do we do when we feel overwhelmed? angel: drugs! alastor: go on a murder spree! niffty: a roach murder spree! lucifer: self-isolate for millennia! husk: drink until i forget what feelings are vaggie: irrationally hate on everyone! charlie: no!

---(luci the typa guy to talk to his cat frfr. maybe he actually understands her idk) [these next ones are actually new. yeah i had a bit of a backlog]

lucifer: hmm.. what about you, keekee? keekee: meow lucifer: my thoughts exactly

---

lucifer: pancakes are the best breakfast food! alastor: id beg to differ lucifer: Then beg.

---

lucifer: shower thoughts in the rain are still shower thoughts. if you think about it alastor: why am i in love with you again lucifer: i ask myself that question everyday :)

---

alastor: what can i say, i aim to please lucifer: you have never said a nice thing to me in your life alastor: i love you :) lucifer: you have said one nice thing to me in your life

oki bye

[baby--charchar]

*as the car gets going, Vaggie finally untenses, not having realized how every muscle in her body had tensed up while handling Rhea. Rhea is starting to show signs of dissociating, but Vaggie doesn't intervene knowing it's just "the process"*

Vaggie: *heavy sigh as she rummages through the diaper bag and pulls out another ice water sippy cup* Would you like some water Jojo? Hmm? No one's drunken out of this one.

Jojo: Hey so Mama was wondering if you guys knew what happened to all our limes. They've been missing since you visited last with Rhea and Vaggie.

Vaggie: .....RHEA.........?

Rhea: ....

Vaggie: RHEA!

Rhea: Mm!! *shakes head*

Vaggie: *starts signing about where the hell all the limes went*

Rhea: *squeezes her eyes shut TIGHT* HMMPH!!

[chaifootsteps]

I don’t dislike charlastor as a concept, but you HAD to be there for this one charlastor incident.

basically one crazy racist homophobic charlastor fan was upset some Chaggie fans didn’t like the ship and sent them a bunch of gore. Revelling in making people mad. Got friends involved and drew Vaggies decapitated head being used by Alastor in ways I can’t relay without going straight to hell.

Their biggest shittiest move was sending that gore nsfw art to a minor and harassing the shit out of this kid. 😭

Oof...yeah, I think that's one of the equalizers for HH/HB ships. No matter what ship you like, no matter what character you like, someone out there has behaved like 10 tapeworms in a human suit over it.