#It's so stupid and selfish but I just want someone to tell me it's not my fault and it's okay and not just.
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first xander brought her back with human breath and determination... then willow with supernatural power and love.... smth smth two halves to keep their third in balance from drifting too far into either side and losing herself.....
#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I'M FUCKING BEGGING FOR A GOOD FIC ABOUT THESE THREE THAT ISN'T JUST SMUT PLEASE!!!!!!!1!!!!#I can'ttt stop thinking about them I don't even have anything coherent to say#even with other partners it's still THEM THREE they're so !!! it's just them. three. always#s7 just ruined me guys I missed them so much#still thinking about xander's stupid quip about how he always brings her back from the dead#if u tell me willow only resurrected her cause they were all insecure without buffy to throw her weight around sunnydale...#they LOVE her. so much. so so so much. they're so selfish but they LOVE her it's why they can't ever let her go they're missing without her#I despise seeing people treat the scoobies with bad-faith bc ik they're not the greatest but oh my god#they are IMPORTANT!!!!! there is no buffy the vampire slayer without willow and xander being WITH buffy#look me in the eyes and tell me tweed boy giles and lurker freak angel were going to be able to keep buffy alive all by themselves.#without xander buffy and willow are left without something firmly human to grip onto when they lose themselves in the supernatural#without willow xander and buffy are left with a gap to properly bridge them. someone to make it easier to understand both sides#without buffy xander and willow have no reason to ever grow and try and learn. to want to be more. to live up to who they can be#plus those two give buffy something tangible to fight for. it's not just the vague “world" she can't feel the affects for it's wil and xand#I need someone smarter than me to articulate this dumb post bc I can't I've tried so many times and I can't but I FEEL it I feel it#buffy x willow x xander#buffy summers#willow rosenberg#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#I tried to find their ship name and I'm actually going to KILL everyone. why don't they have one. what is going on.
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reading a yan manga and feeling jealous of the darling whats new ^_^
#i wanna say this is a new low for me but it rlly isnt bc ive done this far too many times before#i want !! someone to love me like that !!!!#and im even more jealous bc shes so much better of a person than me !!!!!!#sure shes stupid but thats part of her charm. my stupidity annoys everyone around me#shes gullible shes cute shes SWEET and he finds all of it endearing#im none of that but god I Fucking Wish#people tell me im cute but it just feels like theyre just saying that bc they have nothing else to say abt me thats good#and so because im short thats just the best option#and its like. I like being 'cute' but i want to Actually be cute.#if it has to be cute i want to be so cute they cant look away. if its gullible well. im not getting that but its a good thing i believe#sometimes i wish i was less self aware or wtv then at least i wouldnt feel guilty abt these stupid feeliinsg of selfishness and envy#if anyone was wondering where the url comes from.#jirai#jirai lifestyle#jiraiblr#landmine#landmineblr#jirai girl#jiraiblogging#aaaand now i feel guilty for posting a fuckass vent on my Vent blog. whatever. post now ♡#amia.exe ♡
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my existence makes me feel awful for my family
#they really wanted someone so much better. im 21 ive done nothing with my life and i cant tell anyone im disabled#mum hid it from everyone but her entirely and now i cant say a thing or ill get her in drama and ill have to keep lying anyway#i had to lie about all the abuse and they saw through it but i still have to lie anyway for all of us i cant say i dont have a job#bc i have no id no nothing to my name no bank account no literally anything and that i have to take care of mum bc they would all just get#mean and give me a million questions and yell at me and dad already stopped talking to me for weeks bc he wouldn't listen when i was trying#to say the id stuff is convoluted ''why cant i just get it with you'' LEGALLY I DONT EVEN HAVE A DAD BC YOU REFUSED TO BE A PART OF IT AT#AT FUCKING ALL AND MUM HAD TO DO EVERYTHING ALONE AND DIDNT WANNA HIT YOU WITH SINGLE MOTHER TAX#I DOCUMENT WISE JUST STOPPED EXISTING I HAVE NO SCHOOL CARDS EVEN LIKE NOTHING AT ALL SHE LOST MY BIRTH CERT BOTH OF OURS AND I JUST?????#im sick of getting into fights about everything. my granddad is dying and i barely see him because dad doesnt like me anymore and its scary#trying to talk to him at all bc he'll yell if i stutter he'll yell if i tell him ive gone out snywhere at all he thinks everyone in the#world is just drooling to assault me but he's violent and scary so i cant tell him that anything has ever happened to me bc the one time i#even just vaguely told him someone wasnt nice to me he threatened to tie them to the back of his car and he's attacked my stepdad with a#screwdriver and thankfully he wasnt hurt badly hut like. im so scared of my dad. and it breaks my heart bc he used to be so gentle to me.#hes always had a bad temper i have haunting memories of him chasing me and mum in his car but he never once hit me. but the more i remember#the more i realise that he fucked me up honestly just as bad as mum did. im constantly scared of getting yelled at i cant be loving with#anyone not sincerely bc im terrified theyll leave me theyll hurt me and im always proven right and i miss my best friend and i miss my dad#i wish i could tell him about anything in my life i wish i could tell anyone anything all the secrets all the expectations n the way i know#everyone views me is killing me inside my family thinks im fat lazy selfish worthless dull stupid they think i dont even like seeing them#but they actively push me out every single occasion i see them i barely even have any photos with anyone i never get happy birthday messages#or calls or anything they all just forget i exist until they have to remember and i cant trll them any of my life bc ill get yelled at by#dad or called a liar or ill have one of my deepest secrets spilled to the entire family while im sleeping again.#whatever sorry
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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everyone jumping to team kamala we will never experience true freedom in this country
#the democrats would vote for fucking hitler if he was a nice guy im convinced#allow me to break down this silly little “you can't focus on morals people's lives are at risk we have to vote blue to stop trump!!!” thing#first of all people's livelihoods are still at risk even when there is a democrat as president#did you forget about the immigration bill biden and harris signed? or you know a fucking genocide#and if people's livelihoods are at risk then shouldnt we vote with out morals? and you know not for the dems who are famously pro genocide#what is the point of voting if you can't vote for who you actually believe in?#and besides this what in this country was actually accomplished through voting? 99% of the progress made was done through violent resistanc#the only reason shit even made the ballot was because people showed they wouldn't accept things the way they are#which is exactly what you are doing if you vote for kamala harris AKA BIDEN'S FUCKING RIGHT HAND MAN#and you just sound like an extremely selfish person if genocide is not your red line#it just sounds like youre saying “yes they murdered palestinians in gaza :( BUT WHAT ABOUT US AMERICANS!!!!”#as if the democratic party has done anything to protect americans anyways. like my job as a voter is not to get the democrats elected#to mitigate damage caused by republicans. that is the fucking democrats job. it is their job to make me want to vote for them#and until they stop massacring men women and children in gaza they will never get my vote#the democrats could openly announce themselves as extreme bigots towards anyone that isn't a cishet rich white man (which they have before)#and you stupid asses will still tell us to vote for them. how evil do they have to be for you to finally consider another option?#and everyone else in the world gets to have other options but america noooo in america we can only have two parties or else you die#and when a democrat is elected and they send another 1 billion to israel i hope youre prepared to live with the blood on your hands#YOU WANTED THIS YOU ENABLED THIS YOU VOTED FOR THIS#the reality you won't face is that there are more options and you could vote for them but none of you are willing to take that risk#yet youre willing to risk the lives of palestinians the lives of transwoman the lives of every person that bitch threw into prison#you people are so hooked on stopping trump (the democrats meaner twin) youre willing to sacrifice everything you stand for#to elect someone who is just as bad as him but is “polite” while they do it. the democrats will never feel pressure to shift to the left#as long as you idiots continue to accept their move to the right. why should they stop the genocide in palestine when youve proven#you'd vote for them no matter what?#no one’s life improved from trump to biden and the same will be true for kamala but you can keep telling yourself they aren’t the same#i’ll be voting green bc that is what i believe in inshallah you grow a spine and do the same until we’re free from these two satanic partie#and dont tell us youll protest after she's elected what would the point be???#youve shown you'd put her in power no matter why should she respond to the pressure?
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#i think one thing i really hope to get through to my parents when they visit me is that. my job market is Not their job market#i keep thinking of their frankly Awful ‘advice’ of ‘apply even if you’re not qualified’#like. do you HEAR how stupid that sounds? ‘walk into a law firm and say ‘hire me’ even though your degree is in. culinary arts’#it’s like that!#when i skip out on an application because i’m not qualified i’m not being timid or lazy#it means i DON’T have the required experience OR that hiring me in that job would result in a POORLY DONE JOB#i cannot in good faith apply to a position who’s expectations i cannot meet.#much less an engineering position where that could lead to dangerous situations#it doesn’t seem like they believe me when i say no one in my field is hiring. and then i get hit with ‘well you chose to stay in fairbanks’#yeah god fucking forbid i want to give myself the stability i NEVER HAD growing up. i’m the villain for wanting to KEEP the life i worked#so hard to build for myself after having to Leave it over and over and OVER again. that makes me selfish and you want to say i’m acting out#or disrespecting you. no. i want a Life that’s My Own. that i’ve made with my own two hands and my own decisions.#i just want someone to hire me so they can leave me alone. i’m so tired of being made to feel like i’m falling short#vent post#can you tell i’m 💫hormonal💫
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#there's a good example; I once said to a Ukrainian that honestly I was real afraid of the upcoming elections#not even for me but cause I really worried about what trash like johnson would do to Ukraine if they got the majority#and... they said I was being selfish and whiny and it's like...???#I said my whole concern was for the effects the election could have on Ukraine... I'm... I just still don't get it#but at least there you can say there's language stuff; maybe something didn't come through right#I don't know... I really don't know what's wrong with like... me... and... and my ability to communicate#even with people I know and like just uh... sometimes they'll treat me like I'm either stupid or cruel or... I don't know#and it'll kinda come out of nowhere as far as I can tell#I'll say something and then they'll explain back to me the thing I literally just said#like... I'll say you boil water by heating it and they'll be like 'no no; what you do is you boil water by heating it' and...???#(not literally; I couldn't remember anything and probably wouldn't want to say it)#...if I were smart I'd never open my mouth again (or type... people also... they don't seem to get when you like...)#(use a phrase like 'see you later'; they'll be like 'well you can't see me' and it's like... yes... it's a phrase that means goodbye)#(I know we're not 'talking' with our voices; but I'll call typing to someone speaking with them... I'm just not structuralist with it)#(so to be clear when I say I shouldn't ever open my mouth again; I mean all means of communication by me are unwise and should cease)#mm tag so i can find things later
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good lord got a post put on my dash that was some Fandom Opinion blog talking ab how things irl shouldn't be mentioned in spaces where it's not meant for. curiously, i searched racism, and well, what you expected to happen happened,
#aria talkz#'what you expect to happen' was Associating the same things with racism or literally any talk of antiblackness.#Never trust a nonblk fandom-obsessed person god bless#because it is all about making White People Safe always and Forever. clearly. [sarcasm]#{ if you cant tell. im black . mixed black But jesus Christ. }#( esp bc i think its usually telling bc in the spaces its happened in for me they usually Hate talking ab racism but every other talk of-#bigotry is fine and Unpunished. so theres clearly bias. its just when YOURE criticized its the issue . )#anyways i never ever ever trust white fandom obsessed ppl the racism roots run deep. as they do always but. especially there christ alive#'fandom opinion blog' was already a red flag. but Jesus fucking christ.#also the general argument of media being always for escapism and fandom being always for escapism is weird.#theres always political messages and general messages in like.. a lot of media. and bigotry that is in media . This is an excuse.#its insane looking at people just be kind of racist and awful about palestinians and irl issues in the replies of that . what the fuck man#These are real world problems this isnt about your stupid discord fandom server shit get a grip holy fuck nonblk fandom obsessed ppl r craz#vent channels do suck in any server that isnt a close knit friend server i agree But given the rest of the context and wording of these...#whatever im gunna stop rambling bc it pisses me off as someone w firsthand experience multiple times it is just selfishness and racism. jf#being black bpd autistic in the ''nonpalatable'' way And aroace makes fandom as a space full of fucking landmines for me . always has been#( blog was my fandom reali tea w/o th spaces if you wanted to block. dont harass but jfc. )#its like peering in a dark hole i havent been back in since i was 14 . dont you have better things to do than run a fandom discourse blog.
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You ever feel like you've made a massive mistake about someone because of what everyone else has been telling you but like the rose tinted glasses are just a bit too strong to accurately gauge what was happening when thinking back on it?
#personal#stezz rambles#i fucked that nice boy#and promptly dumped him after talking it over with my friends and my brother because he doesn't drive doesn't have a job#and didn't seem to have any drive to do more with himself#but also he was so sweet and earnest and open#he had depression of course he wasnt gonna have holes for the future#i can't tell if i was being incredibly cruel or just stupid#but i finished watching the queen Charlotte series and the choosing to love someone really hit me hard#like i could've i think#i could've loved that man and i just let him go because i couldn't let go of other people judging him and by extension me#I'm just so conflicted right now#please if anyone has some advice i would be incredibly grateful#im a mess right now#i didnt want to hurt him but i feel like it would've been more selfish to keep seeing him if i wasnt sure because he really was
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if you hold me without hurting me (you’ll be the first who ever did) — ft. sylus
synopsis: sylus is too causal with accepting pain. you don’t like seeing him hurt, so the best solution you can come up with is seeing him in pleasure
❤︎ word count: 2.4k words — it’s a miracle i kept it this short
❤︎ before you read: female hunter reader ; mature content. not suitable for minors ; not an established relationship but implied romantic connection. idk it’s complicated LOL ; injured sylus ; described blood and injuries ; evol inhibitors to make his injuries a bit more serious ; not proof read : hand jobs ; banter ; that’s pretty much it just wanted to write him cumming
❤︎ comments: i am posting this 3 mins before i need to leave for work this man has me hustling before my hustle rip
The safe house is quiet. Not including the sounds of Sylus’s low, pained grunts as you dress his wounds, it’s quiet. You’re quiet, and it’s unsettling—on a typical day, you’re more than half the noise.
(In a good way, of course. Sylus is not a liar by any means, and saying he doesn’t like the constant sound of your voice as you talk would be a ridiculously big lie. He values the truth in things.)
It means you’re brooding. Sulky, petulant brooding. He’ll just have to fix that, he thinks—and soon, too.
“I’ll have to trouble you a bit longer, sweetheart,” he murmurs, breaking the silence as he glances at his arm.
You glance up and stare at the damage: a stab wound to his abdomen, a gash on his arm, and ugly, unwelcome bruises littering across soft, slightly tanned skin.
You frown. It borders on a scowl. He watches as you carefully stitch the wound closed on his lower belly with precise fingers. (Faintly, his mind registers that you’re good at this. Too good at this. He doesn’t like the implications of that—not for his own case and especially not for yours.)
“Does it hurt?” You mumble, finally.
Sylus is not a liar by any means, so he hums, titling your chin up and forcing you to pause. “Yes,” he says truthfully. You’d never guess he was in pain just by the look on his face—but there are always signs if you look close enough.
Sticky, sweaty skin. Deep, labored breaths. Slumped posture that’s so far from his usual tall, towering stance. He looks just a bit tired, too. Like sleeping (something he rarely does enough to be considered healthy) would be his ideal course of action right now.
You frown at his admission. “I told you not to get so close,” you huff, “you never wait for me.”
He chuckles. Deep, slow. Every time Sylus laughs, you’re reminded how powerful he is. How even through the sound of his amusement alone, he sounds important. Wealthy, too, if you’re being honest—he laughs like the rich. But that’s always amused you more than it’s impressed.
“You seem rather distraught, love. Dare I say….you’re concerned?”
“You’re too smart to act this stupid,” you spit.
He grins. It’s large, wide, and all too smug for someone who’s under your hands as you mend back torn skin. Gently, he hums, “so the kitten bears her fangs. How cute.”
Your mood is getting increasingly worse. Sylus knows that—but sometimes, he’s a little selfish. Pushing you harder, cornering you against the wall with smart words and sly teasing is the only way to make you open up sometimes.
And, well, Sylus is no liar. He can’t say he hates getting under your skin entirely—it makes you look at him. And he likes your attention. But more than that, he likes knowing you care.
“You don’t think I’m capable,” you accuse, narrowing your eyes.
“And when did I say that, Miss Hunter?”
“You don’t have to say it, I just know. Otherwise, you’d listen when I tell you to wait,” comes your agitated reply.
Sylus does not wait for you. He jumps into a fight without letting you step foot onto the battlefield. Most times, it’s a minor form of irritation on your end when you’re itching to get in a good few hits. Sometimes, like now, it makes your emotions saturated in every form of distress.
Anger. Sadness. Regret. Panic. All of it simmers and simmers until you feel you’re overflowing with something you can’t quite put your finger on.
He pays the price today—one sloppy dodge of a blade, and it impales his lower abdomen with precision, lacing him with something. Something that evidently is rather good at repressing his evol—he can’t fight nearly as well let alone heal.
You can’t help but feel useless. More than anything, under appreciated. Maybe, if he’d waited just a moment so you could have covered him, then maybe your night would end with less blood on your hands and less pain on his.
“You’re also too bright to act this dim,” he says lowly, voice just a bit tight with pain. You tighten his stitches, and he doesn’t even grimace despite the clearly unpleasant sensation.
“Do tell me,” you glare, “just what am I being dim about?”
“If you think I don’t recognize your capabilities,” he drawls, studying the knife that once tore through his flesh slowly. It’ll be analyzed at the base. You’re certain he’ll figure out just what the blade was laced with and trace it back to its origins soon enough. He sets it down and meets your eyes—deep, rich crimson bleeding into your gaze. “Then maybe you’re not as good at seeing the bigger picture as I thought.”
“That you’re a smug bastard who likes to prove you’re better on your own?”
“That I care about you,” he says plainly. “I can handle it. It’s better you than me.”
“You could have died,” you hiss, “if I wasn’t there—”
“I’d have lived either way,” he says smugly. “Killing me is a rather difficult thing to do. Inflicting pain, on the other hand….well, at least it keeps things interesting.”
Your face drops. Not because he’s wrong, but because he’s so right. You can injure him all you want, but he heals fast enough that he’s here to stay. Like an annoying thorn that keeps pricking you as you pick roses. Like a weed that just keeps growing back the more you tear them from the ground. He comes back. Annoying as he is, he comes back. And you don’t mind that so much—you think you might even need it that way.
But it always hurts. He bleeds red just like any other person. Grimaces here and there despite how accustomed he is to the agony. Somewhere along the line, his pain became yours.
And you can’t help but be hyper aware of how much you despise it.
“I hate when you’re hurt,” you whisper.
“I’ll live,” he soothes, cupping your cheek and swiping a stray tear with a large, callused thumb. You shiver, pouting slightly at the words. “I’ve had worse.”
“But you still feel the pain.”
“Can anyone really avoid that, sweetie?” He raises an amused brow.
Before he can open his mouth to add more, you lean closer, careful not to hurt his wound as you press against his chest and bury your head into his neck, pressing a light kiss to the skin.
His breath hitches, and you think you’ve finally gotten through that thick, stubborn front of his.
“If it hurts,” you murmur, “then I can make it feel good.”
He shivers—barely, of course. But he shivers. It’s a small win. “Oh?” He asks carefully, his good arm curling around your waist to keep you in place. “And how so?”
You press a lingering kiss to his jaw. Your lips are not strangers to Sylus. They know him as well as he knows them too, but you’ve always danced along the edge of more than friends and less than lovers. One second, you think you’ve crossed over the line with graceful steps, the next you fall ten steps back.
Right now, you think you don’t care. Line be damned and whether you’re just friends or lovers, you couldn’t be more unbothered.
“I don’t like when people touch you,” you admit, “not at all. But especially not so….rough.”
“Mmh, jealous are we? Don’t worry, you’re the only one I willingly let touch me,” he grins. You roll your eyes, watching as he shuffles back to lean against the couch and relax.
“I should be the only one who touches you,” you say with an air of petulance.
“Yes, yes,” he agrees, placating your mood, “then show me something more gentle,” he whispers.
You smile. It’s the first one of the night, lips curling against the shell of his ear as you breathe, “oh I intend to.”
Just like that, your hand trails up his thigh, carefully tracing along the inner edge of his leg before your palm roams over his crotch. There’s a bulge forming as if on command. Your ego boosts just a little—for all his strength and endurance, one brief, mere little touch from you forces his body to react against his will.
“Is this really where you should be putting in all your effort?” His breath hitches, and the tips of his ears flush a pretty, soft little pink, “my arm still has an open wound, you know.”
“You’ve had worse,” you repeat his words back to him, “but let me show you better.”
It’s quick work, unblocking his belt and unzipping him just enough to gently pull out his half-hard cock. You glance down, smiling at the small bead of pre cum that leaks from the tip, forming a kind little opportunity for you to watch him squirm as your thumb grazes his cockhead to collect it.
You smear it along his length as you slowly stroke him to full hardness, and he offers you a shaky little huffed out, “fuck,” under his breath.
“Does that hurt, too?” You hum, nose pressing into his jaw as you kiss his neck.
“No,” he sighs, melting into you, “no it feels so good. Don’t stop.”
“Do you see how nice it is when you just trust me?” You scold, “now apply this to the battlefield, too.”
He chuckles deeply at that, closing his eyes and fighting the urge to fuck his hips into your fist—his stitches are still fragile enough that he doesn’t want to risk tearing them. Instead, he has to trust that you’ll give him what he needs, all on your own.
“I’d rather get hurt and be spoiled like this,” he mumbles, “than risk anything happing to you. Seems like a better option if you ask me.”
“So stubborn,” you click your teeth.
Sylus is not a liar. You know that. If he says you’re capable, then you believe him—and if he says that he’d rather take the brunt of injuries and the pain that comes with them just to finish a fight before you can be involved, you know it’s not a lie. But you don’t always like the truth. You don’t like knowing he uses himself as a shield of sorts for you, as some wall between you and pain or maybe even death just because he can. Just because he heals. Just because he thinks he should.
You don’t always like the truth. Sometimes, you’d rather live in a lie.
So you tell yourself he thinks you’re less than him. That you’re lacking and beneath his approval and you have something to prove—so your hand tightens around his thick, reddened cock and you stroke fast. Quick and to the point.
Enough to have him groaning with an arm instinctively moving to cover his eyes as he throws his head back—only he hisses, feeling the stinging tug on his gash as he moves.
You hum, guiding his arm back down as you cup his cheek and murmur, “careful now. You’re hurt—I wonder whose fault that is.”
He rolls his eyes at the comment—but one swipe of your thumb through his slit has them rolling back in pleasure before he can glare at you. “You’re rather smug today,” he huffs, “do you like seeing me defenseless, sweetheart?”
“Not for the reasons you might think,” you say sweetly, grinning as you peck his cheek. Right where you cut him the first time you met. Right where you think you’ll always have to soothe so he knows you didn’t mean it.
Not anymore, at least.
“You’re far from the innocent kitten you seem to be,” he grins, huffing out a soft laugh as it tapers off into a light, breathy moan.
“Does it feel good?”
“Yes.”
“Enough to make you forget the pain?”
“Oh yes,” he grins. Suddenly, a wave of red wraps around your hand and forces your grip to tighten. “I’ve forgotten I was injured at all.”
His evol, you realize—it’s back.
You stare at the gash on his arm—crimson on crimson as the flurry of his power replaces the blood, leaving behind soft, healthy skin. Not a scar left behind. Not a trace of pain. Not even a faint line of where torn flesh mended together and became new.
He’s had worse, you remember. And he comes back from it every damn time.
Still, you think—you’re going to give him better.
“I don’t want you hurting because of me,” you breathe, leaning into his chest and pressing your weight against him without worry, now. Your hand fists his shirt as his arms wrap around you and keep you close.
Your hand glides along his girth between your bodies, working him up slowly, slowly, slowly until it all feels like it’ll come crashing down all at once. His breath hitches as he lets out a light groan of your name.
It sounds pretty on his tongue. You’re more determined to pull nicer sounds from him, too, so you kiss under his ear lobe, sucking gently on the skin and feeling him let out a soft, labored gasp.
“Will you spoil me like this every time I’m hurt?” Sylus breathes.
You scowl and hiss, “no. Absolutely not. Then you’ll just get hurt more.”
He smiles smugly at the retort, biting his lip as you squeeze your fist around him tighter. “A smart little kitten, aren’t you? Sharpening your claws.”
“You’re insufferable.”
“You like me enough to worry. I think that says enough.”
“Asshole,” you glare.
He’s shameless, you think. Because the insult brings him to the edge, his mouth falling open to a beautiful face of bliss, body quivering under you in soft tremors of pleasure. Sylus is beautiful. Dark, rough around the edges, and uncut stone with sharp corners. Beautiful enough to want, dangerous enough to slice your fingers if you don’t know how to touch him properly.
You admire him as he spills into your hands, his lips desperately searching yours as he leans closer and pulls you into a kiss, heavy breaths pouring into your mouth as he gives himself to you.
“Good,” he pants, “you…you make me feel so good.”
“That’s what I’m supposed to be here for,” you murmur, “so you don’t have to feel pain.”
You stroke him through his orgasm, until he’s soft and pliant and limp under your touch. Gently, you stroke his cheek with a thumb as you cup his face. He leans into your touch and closes his eyes.
“As capable as you are,” he says quietly, “I like the idea of you spending your energy in other fields of expertise. Sue me.”
“I should,” you purse your lips. “Sue you for all you’re worth.”
“It’ll be worth the troubles,” he says smugly, “you’ll get quite the sum if you manage to.”
And he’s not a liar, either—so you scoff at his smug, truth-telling grin before giving his curved lips a small peck.
Girl . Idk
#—rivistyping!#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus smut#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x you#love and deepspace smut#lads x reader#lads smut#l&ds x reader#l&ds smut#lads sylus#l&ds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#l
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I know it's stupid or whatever because talking about your problems is important and all that but I wonder if my brother has realised I don't talk to him about my problems anymore
#I mean I still talk to him#I still talk to him about my interests and say really emo shit but we don't have long talks in the car anymore#I kinda wonder if he'll ever notice y'know#Cause he's moved out and we just don't talk much anymore and I'm out of school so#There's no need to give me lectures about how I need to get my life together anymore#But well. My life is still as apart as before. I think some small part of me expected things to suddenly get better#Like the moment I get out of school I'll be free. I'll have less to worry about#But all that's happened so far is I am without anything to do. Without a purpose.#I want to say that I put so much into it that now that I'm out I have nothing but I didn't DO anything in school#I didn't DO anything. I barely put in effort. I'm probably just going to fail and I'll have even LESS to do#sweetmountainseeds#I want to talk to him you know. I want to have someone to talk to about my problems again. But I promised myself I wouldn't anymore#Because the reason I stopped is because he just isn't the person I want to talk to. I don't know if he ever was.#It's so stupid and selfish but I just want someone to tell me it's not my fault and it's okay and not just.#Give me advice and tell me what I should be doing and that it's only a problem if I make it one#I just want someone to agree with me I think#I have someone else to talk to but she says things I don't want to hear somethings and she's right but I don't like it because I'm stubborn#I did really appreciate it when she told me I was working very hard for my test though I felt so seen#I mean I wasn't working hard at all I could've done so much more but it felt so nice to be told that I was doing good#Fuck I keep telling myself to sleep but I guess it's cry time tonight#cupcakeycrisis
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prison, not a promise- l.norris
summary: lando proposes and it doesn't go as planned...
pairing: lando norris x fem! reader
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He genuinely thought you would’ve been the woman he married. He believed that the moment he got down on one knee, you would’ve burst into tears in front of him and said yes.
He’d never expected that.
People (understandably) thought you were fucking crazy. Who would say no to Lando Norris? Who would give up the chance to be rich and famous forever, to have one of the most sought-after men on the planet forever?
Well, those people didn’t know what it meant to be ‘loved’ by Lando Norris. They didn’t see the constant fights and beratings. They wouldn’t know about the fact that you hadn’t felt like yourself for an entire year. They didn’t know about the sleepless nights, sitting there and wondering, hoping that you were enough. They didn’t know that an engagement ring would've been a prison, not a promise.
You both walked into his apartment, silent. You hadn’t said ‘no’, saying ‘yes’ while in public just to keep up appearances, but Lando knew, the second you two got in the car, you weren't happy.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, wrapping his arms around your waist. You allowed yourself to lean into him one last time, be his one last time. That was the Lando you fell for. The one that hugged and kissed you like no one else would ever matter to him, the one that looked at you like you held up the stars just for him. You never expected the honeymoon stage to last forever, but these fights weren’t normal. He ripped apart your character, your appearance, anything, just to make you feel as upset as him. You\’d been together for 4 years, and the problems started when he became Max’s rival.
“Lando, we’re not happy,” you started, feeling his hands drop from your waist. You turned around to face him. “At least, I’m not. I do everything you ask of me. I cook and clean, I dress up nice, I follow you around the fucking world and I gave up my dreams so that you could always have me at races. Now, all we do is fight. I’m fucking sick of it, alright? I’m tired of the fact that you either don’t love me anymore, or you don’t respect me, and I’d like to thank you for the 3 wonderful years we had before this year, and give you back your ring. You deserve someone less ambitious. You deserve someone paper-cut to be a WAG, Lando. I’m not that girl,” you sighed tearily. “When you find her, I suggest you tell her that you can be mean, you can be selfish, and you can be forgetful, but the trade for that is the sweetest man on the planet once the anger wears off. I’ve been around angry men my entire life, and I will not marry one. I’ll grab my things tomorrow. Goodbye Lando,” you brushed back at him, placing the golden engagement ring in his hand as you passed him by.
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You left Monaco with all of your belongings, and went back home. You bought an apartment, and started your new job as a college professor. Before Lando you had been the best mathematician in the world. You had offers from every college from every college, but you chose the one closest to home. You didn’t think about Lando for months. You focused all of you attention on your students, all of your life was spent around numbers. You were finally happy. For the first time in a long time, you felt appreciated, you felt beautiful, and you felt happy.
“Y/n,” the British accent you knew so well made you physically cringe. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“Is it a mathematical problem?” you asked, not turning around as you sorted through papers.
“Not really?” he chuckled. “Please just look at me.”
You slowly turned around and looked at him. He looked like shit.
“I won,” he smiled, but it wasn’t a real smile. “I’m the Champion of the World.”
You held out your hand to shake his. “Congratulations.”
He took it with a frown. “I’m quitting F1.”
You stopped in your tracks when you heard that. “Why?”
“I did something really fucking stupid two years ago, and i need to make it right,” he admitted. “Y/n, I’m sorry. There’s no one else for me. You’re it. You’re my person, you make me feel so alive, so happy, so free, and I couldn’t even imagine what life would be like without you. Then I lived it. And it sucked. I know I’m an asshole, and I know you’re probably much better off without me, but I’m begging you, just let me back in your life, please? I’m falling apart without you baby.”
You stared at him. “Lando, I’m not asking you to stop racing because of me-”
“I did,” he smiled.
“I’m not taking you back,” you insisted. “You made me feel like a shell of my actual self for a year, and I held on because I knew you needed a punching bag so that you wouldn’t take it out on the people around you. I don’t miss you. I don’t love you. I don’t want to see you.”
His face fell and he was quiet for a moment. “So I’ve really fucked it up?”
“Yeah, now get the fuck out of my lab.”
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅ A few months went by and the 2026 season started, and Landow as still on the grid, shocker. You didn’t care, he was a fucking asshole who didn’t deserve your time or companionship. You hoped he would choke every race start (which he did), get outperformed by Oscar (which he did), and loose to the WDC to Oscar (which he did). Karma.
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#female reader#x reader insert#x reader fic#x reader fluff#x reader fanfiction#fem reader#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader#lando norris#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 x you#formula one x reader#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 fluff#formula 1#mclaren#lando norris x reader angst#ln4#lando x reader#f1 2024#lando norris fluff#lando norris imagine#lando norris x publicist reader#lando norris x y/n#f1 fanfic
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Dress
Hellooo. Here is a best friends sister sorta request- h is best friends with your brother 👀 and he’s tired of hiding 👀 I think this is a one off, maybe a two off if I’m feeling spicy.
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Words- 3k
Warnings- exhibitionism(don’t do stuff in public pls), dirty talk, soft dom!h, slight angst, slight mention of violence, people pleasing tendencies, etc etc etc
———
"I just wish things were different. I wish we didn't have to hide. I wish your brother knew about us. This sneaking around shit… it’s getting old. I don’t like having to pretend you aren’t the only fuckin’ thing I’m thinking about."
“I know…” The dark corner of the club was their solace. The humid air from the sea breeze leaked into the club around them and overly loud and slightly dated music being the unlikely reprove to having to keep up appearances through the last few days. Harry’s family always came with them on this vacation out to the islands and it used to be hell on earth. Each year she had tried her hardest to tamper down her crush, but now she didn’t have to.
Well, not unless their families were around.
With her brother in his own room, Harry had volunteered to take Y/N out as a ’chaperone’ of sorts and in turn, gave her a real taste of what it would be like if they didn’t have to hide their relationship- but she wasn’t exactly ready for the explosive way she knew her brother would react. He took things incredibly personally sometimes, but she was doing her best to try and not let it scare her too much. Harry was right- it was getting old. incredibly so, but it was hard to let go of her peacemaker mentality. She’d adopted it her whole life to keep the peace, diffuse situations, and now that she had finally found happiness with someone- it happened to be the one person that she knew he was going to freak out over.
“We need to tell him eventually, I know that. But I just…” Her fingers tangled in his necklaces, the alcohol making it easier to be emotionally vulnerable for once. “I don’t want to ruin it. Don’t want him to scare you away.”
Harry's heart ached as he looked at Y/N. He knew she was right, but the thought of hiding their relationship made him feel sick. Tired, even. He didn’t like having to watch his hands, where he was looking. He should be able to room with his girlfriend. It wasn’t like their parents hadn’t been rooting for it for ages, but he tried to understand where she was coming from.
Maybe it was a bit of the rose colored glasses keeping him from seeing what she did, but he didn’t feel the need to valiantly protect her brother from the knowledge that he was dating her. "I don't want to hide either, darling." He said softly. “M’not going to let anything come between us, especially not him." His hand slid up her thigh, wrapping around to the back of it and flexing his fingers.
"Your brother might piss me off when finds out, but only because he's probably, definitely going hit me. I'm not going anywhere, Y/N. I promise you that." His face grew more serious. "I don’t know how to make you understand that I am not afraid of him. I’ve been his mate for years. I know what he’s like but respectfully, he’s going to need to get over it and realize that I only have the best intentions..."
“I know.” She repeated, the humid air hitting her neck as she pushed bed hair off her shoulder, craning it to look up at him. It was unfair how handsome he was, with his curls sticking to his forehead and the back of his neck and the light shadow of facial hair since he had missed shaving yesterday. “I just… I know it’s selfish, but I want to spend tonight imagining he already knows and we don’t have to worry about anything. That no one would be all… shocked or even say anything if I do this.” Leaning up, she lightly pressed her lips against his in a chaste kiss before settling back on her feet, lips slowly separating. Harry made no move to pull away from her. If anything, he followed.
Harry's eyes shifted as he watched her, his heart picking in his chest. He loved the way she thought, the way she imagined a world where they didn't have to hide. Never once did he imagine himself to be one of those lovesick fuckers, but here he was again. Swooning over a goddamn kiss.
But really, who could blame him? He loved the way she kissed him, all soft and sweet and so damn gentle, like she was still a little hesitant he would say no even though they’d kissed dozens and dozens of times- stolen them right under everyone’s noses. As if he could ever say no- his body wouldn’t ever allow that. It was all greedy for her, had no capacity, no ability to deny her if anything when it came to telling his girl no. "Then let's imagine.”
Sinewy arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her back into their hidden corner, the music pumping around them and his body hiding her from the crowd.. "Let's imagine that your brother knows and he's okay with it. That he's even happy for us." He pressed his lips to her neck, kissing and nipping at her skin. “A little grossed out, because I think that you are… the most beautiful, incredible, sweet woman I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing… but that would only be the truth.”
“You really think that about me?” Her voice spoke solely to him. In their seclusion, people were still passing by, but no one paid attention. No one cared. To the rest of them, it looked like a young couple too loved up to keep hands off of each other. In most ways, that was the truth. Who knew invisibility could be such a gift at times?
Harry chuckled against her throat, his breath hot on her sticky skin. She smelled like sunscreen and that tequila sunrise she had accidentally splashed on herself, so a bit of orange juice and grenadine. Edible, summer, he wanted to sink into her and melt. "Of course I do." The man scoffed, his hands slowly roaming over her body as if he couldn't help himself. "And if your brother knew about us, I'd tell him exactly that. That I want you… and I want t’make you my girl properly. But that’s probably where it would stop, because I think he’d want to kill me if he knew what ran through my head when I get to see you.” Harry knew it was a good thing he wasn’t a mind reader, and that they’d gotten away with it for a bit so far. Yeah, he’d be taking a punch because he knew how Harry’s mind worked but he didn’t know that he fucking loved her- that this shit was different.
“Well… since we’re pretending all is right in the world right now…” Her hands splayed across his chest, chin tilted up as he pulled away from her throat. Starry eyes glazed over in love peering up just at him, not knowing she was the one he was orbiting. “Why don’t you enlighten me on the things you wouldn’t tell him?”
Harry's eyes glinted with amusement as he looked at her. "You really want to know, sweets?" He crooned, his voice low and sultry. "Alright then." His hands tightened around her waist, pulling her flush against him so she could feel just how much he wanted her.
"First... I'd never tell him that I think about you all the time. Like... right now, I'm imagining wrapping your legs around my waist and backing you up against that wall over there." His eyes flicked to the wall behind her before meeting her gaze again. "And how bad I want t’kiss you until you barely have any breath, make you borrow some of mine."
Y/N felt her breathing pick up, ironically enough, feeling trapped in the best way. Whenever Harry was around her she sort of wanted him to smother her, in a weird sort of way. it was hard to explain but close never felt close enough. Harry just had this sort of… way about him that had her itching to get close and bask in his own kind of warmth. It soothed her bones.
"N’then once you caught up, I'd keep kissing you until you were panting, so that cute little giggle that turns into that sexy moan that you do. Fuckin’ love that." he continued, his voice growing deeper as he showed little restraint with his words. It was easy to forget where they were when he got started. "And then... " He trailed off, leaning in to kiss her neck again, his breath hot against her skin. "Well, I probably shouldn't tell you the rest."
“Tell me.” She whined, in a way only tipsy Y/N wouldn’t feel shame for. “Please, baby?” Something she’d noticed was how strongly he did react to those little pet names so she kept them sparse, but seeing how he reacted always acted as a reward. “You can tell me. I want to know.”
He groaned low in his throat at the nickname, nipping at her earlobe before whispering to her the rest of the details he had been keeping away, waiting for the coaxing she had to pry out of him. "I'd slide my hand up your pretty little skirt and underneath your panties, feel how wet you already are for me. Slip a finger inside, nice n’slow at first, until you start to rock against my hand."
“Yeah? In front of all these people?” She was slightly shocked- but slightly not. Seeing as Harry had really struggled with not being able to publicly show her affection, she should have guessed he’d be handsy in all scenarios if he has the full permission- but this was more than she had anticipated. Even more so… She liked it.
"Mhm..." Harry agreed, his hands slowly sliding up her thighs, bunching the hem of her skirt as his hands went underneath without a second thought. "And if you kept making those little noises like you do when I touch you, no one would even notice."
Y/N she didn’t always make the best decisions but she knew she wouldn’t regret anything with Harry. As cocky as the man could be, as arrogant as he may appear, getting to know him up close and personal the last few months that they’d evolved into more than what they were… she knew he was a good guy. He was the type of guy she wanted. If he wasn’t, she wouldn’t be risking the peace her life had for it.
But no one ever said she wasn’t impulsive. “It is loud in here.” His body did hide hers in the corner, making it easy to be bolder. “So you should put your money where you mouth is, and touch me.”
"Oh, I plan on it" Harry said, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. He didn't waste any time in sliding his hand fully up her skirt, his fingers brushing against her skin as he made his way underneath her panties. His pace was careful, his touch light as he slowly slid a finger inside of her. Then soft hitch of her breath made him hum felt her bury her face in his chest to muffle any noise she might make. All talk, his girl, but he didn’t care too much- not when he felt that slick hole around his digit after being essentially edged all week. He continued to slowly pump his finger in and out, his thumb gently circling her puffy clit.
Biting his lip as he felt her clench around him, he could feel himself grow harder at the thought of being the one to make her feel like this. He added another finger, still moving slowly but picking up the pace slightly. "I want to take you out, show you off. I'm so tired of hiding you." Harry whispered in her ear, his breath hot against her skin. He pressed a kiss to her temple as he continued to move his fingers inside of her. "I want everyone to know that you're mine. Don’t want to have t’sneak off in vacation just to play with my girl’s cunt. Should’ve been making you cum the whole time." Harry's other hand came up to tangle his fingers in her hair, pulling her head back so he could kiss her properly. His eager tongue slipped into her mouth as he continued to move his fingers inside of her, feeling her wetness coat his fingers.
She was clinging to him, her nails digging into his arms as she tried to keep quiet. Her breath was coming in short gasps, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Face buried in his neck, her teeth sank into his skin to muffle her moans as he felt her shake against him. Y/N had never dabbled in public play before, and she knew no one could see, but the thrill of it all had her more wet than she had anticipated. Sure, the girl talked big game but she didn’t know what she would do if she had actually got caught being touched like this. Add in the fact that Harry’s tank top hugged him perfectly, his tattoos contrasting his skin, the broad shoulders and brush of his facial hair against her sensitive skin had her feeling drunk.
“That feels so fucking good.” She mewled, unsure if she wanted his mouth to keep her quiet or his chest.
"Shh..." Harry hushed her, his voice low and warning. "You have to be quiet, baby. Know it’s loud but y’don’t want anyone t’hear you." As much as he liked that idea, he knew his girl. That was something they’d need to work up to. Just feeling her dripping down his knuckles as he fingerfucked her was shocking enough, so he was more than pleased with this. His face nuzzled against her neck, his stubble scratching her sensitive skin. "Wrap your arms around my neck. Lean back against the wall."
Putting her trust in him was easy, or maybe it was the pent up sexual tension she hadn’t been able to release all trip as she did as he asked. The position made it look like a couple drunkenly making out, but his hand angled the farthest from the dancing drunk crowd was working slowly under her skirt.
Harry took advantage of her new position, his fingers slowly sliding in and out of her as his thumb continued to rub against her center. He felt her squirm against him, her arms tightening around his neck as she buried her face in his chest once more to muffle her moans. "Good girl... keepin’ so quiet for me... " He praised, his fingers picking up pace as he fought to keep himself calm. He glanced around quickly, making sure no one was paying attention to them, before he gently tugged her leg up, resting it on his hip.
The man had been good this whole trip. He’d played by her rules, trying his best to keep prolonged eye contact to a minimum, not leaning into her too much, not touching her, trying to act as he had in the past- but it was borderline impossible. Not with the way he felt about her. He wanted to rub all over her like a cat, wanted to wake up with her in the pretty room with the balcony and be the one to order her morning coffee. He was so tired of being good. In all honesty, the man didn’t care who found out anymore, not when being with her felt like this. Her little cunt gushing over his digits, dripping down the back of his hand as he curled his fingers just so.
"You're soaking through to my wrist..." Harry growled lowly, his other arm banded around her waist to keep her upright as her knees grew weak. He could feel her tensing up, her breath hitching as her body grew warmer. "Want you t’let go for me, love..." He curled his fingers one more time, pressing against her spot over and over as he rubbed his thumb in tight circles over her clit. Her whole body shuddered against him, her legs trembling as she tried to hold herself up. "You’re right there, baby. Can feel it. Let it go for me, my sweet girl... "
Harry buried his face in her hair as he felt her clamp down around his fingers, her body trembling slightly as she came silently against his hand. Her nails dug painfully into his shoulders as she bit down on his chest to keep quiet, her whimper muffled against his skin as she rode out her high. He held her leg tightly against his hip, his arm around her waist the only thing keeping her upright as her body shook with her orgasm. His fingers remained buried inside her, his fingertips gently stroking against her spot as he kept her on edge, prolonging her orgasm the best he could.
Pulling her face up, he dragged her mouth back to his. Their kiss was sloppy and desperate, Harry's tongue pushing into her mouth as he devoured her whimpers, groaning in response as he felt her cunt clenching rhythmically around his fingers. One of his favorite feelings, his favorite tastes. The only ways it could be better would be with his tongue on her clit or his cock inside of her. His hand shifted, tangling in her hair, holding her head still as he ate at her mouth, swallowing her noises as he kept his fingers buried inside her trembling pussy.
"Shh, baby... I've got you... " Harry cooed, his voice low as he gently worked her down. Slowly removing his fingers, he brought them to his mouth and licked her taste off of them before he lowered her leg back down to the ground.
“We’re telling him. Tomorrow.” He mumbled, wiping his spit soaked fingers on his shorts. “I’m not spending the rest of this trip with you not in my bed because he’s gonna have a fuckin’ tantrum. He’ll get it over, baby.”
Looking down at her, his eyes softened significantly as he gazed at her flushed face and messy hair. "You're staying in my bed tonight. I’ve gone long enough without it. Everything else, we’ll figure out in the morning."
#jarofstyles#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#harry styles au#harry styles fic#harry styles fanfics#harry styles fanfictions#harry smut#harry fluff#harry angst#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#bbf#brothers best friend
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ꕤ 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 '𝟐𝟒 - 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐 ꕤ
Lee Felix x fem!reader: virginity loss
summary: Felix, your roommate and best friend, just got back from a date after being rejected because of a simple fact: he was a virgin. What a better way of showing how good of a friend you were than by helping him out?
warnings: smut, flufffff (a lot of it, like i'm sick already), i haven't proofread this so forgive me for any mistakes lol
word count: 2.5k
kinktober masterlist // masterlist // ko-fi
You heard the door slamming shut from your room and you made your way to the living room with a frown on your face.
“Back so soon?” you asked Felix, your roommate.
He shrugged and left his coat on the hanger with a sigh. He then sat on the couch with a huff and looked at you. “It went great”
“Yeah, sure” you said with sarcasm. You sat next to him and put a hand on his arm. “Can you tell me what happened? I just wanna know if I have to go to that bitch’s house and kick her ungrateful ass” you tried to make him laugh.
He gave you an airy chuckle and looked down. “It went well until the end, like it always does” he told you.
You bit your lip trying to contain the happiness. You knew it was selfish but your roommate, your best friend since you were little kids, had been your crush, the person you knew you’ve grown undying love for for such a long time, you’ve forgotten a time where you weren’t in love with Felix.
“You’ve been on 4 dates already, what made her change her mind?” you asked, genuinely intrigued.
Felix looked at you and then away, and you noticed his cheeks were tinted red. “I… uhm…” he stammered. “We started to get to know each other better and then, well, she grabbed my hand and gave me the eyes” he explained and you felt the jealousy starting to build inside your stomach.
“Ah-ha” you nodded.
“And well, I got nervous and I told her- I- I told her…” he stammered again.
“You told her what, Lix?”
“That I’m a virgin” he mumbled.
Your eyes widened.
Felix.
The most beautiful human on the planet.
Probably the most amazing and fuckable person to ever exist.
Is a virgin.
Your panties were soaked at that point. It got you more than you wanted to admit.
"You're a virgin?" you asked, dumbfounded.
"Yeah..."
“And what? She rejected you because of that?” you asked him.
Felix nodded.
What a dumb, stupid bitch.
“Wow, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, really” you told him. “What’s her problem? Why would that be an inconvenience to her? It shows that she only cared about sleeping with you. I hate to say it, Lix”
“I know”
“We both know you deserve better. Someone who loves you for you and not because they’re only interested in sleeping with you” you told him, feeling yourself getting angrier.
How could someone treat this beautiful piece of sunshine like this?
Felix looked at you. “You think that I’m worth it?” he asked in a small voice, and it made you want to wrap your arms around him and protect him.
You grabbed his cheeks and made him look at you. “Of course, baby” you said, caressing his cheeks. “Don’t you know how precious you are? You’re perfect, Felix” you stated.
His eyes turned teary and they looked down at your lips. “Y/N…” he mumbled. “Can I… can I kiss you?”
You felt like cartwheeling and jumping around the room. But you remembered that he had just come from a date and was feeling vulnerable. Kissing him would only make things worse.
“Lix… you’re vulnerable from a failed date” you said. “When you’re better, we’ll see, okay?”
“No, no, no” he said, as he felt your hands pulling away. “I’m… I’ve been in love with you for such a long time and these dates… these useless dates… I’ve had them only because I thought you didn’t love me back and- well, I- I want to be with you, Y/N” he said, rubbing his face on your hand like a cat.
“Felix… what?” you asked, completely dumbfounded.
“It’s okay if you don’t feel like this as well, I- I’m-”
You cut him off by kissing the breath right out of him. He moaned and grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him til you were lying on the couch on top of him. Your legs straddled his waist while you devoured his pouty lips.
You could feel Felix’s boner start to poke against you and you smirked, pressing your hips over his crotch.
The man whined against your lips, pushing his head onto the couch.
“Y/N…” he whispered, the lust in his eyes made you clench around nothing.
You smiled at him and pressed kisses on his neck. “What?” you whispered and bit at the skin of his neck. “What, baby?” you asked huskily.
He whined and grabbed your hair, pulling you back to make you look at him. “I’m… I’m ready” he said.
You frowned. “Ready for what?”
“To um…” he said and your eyes widened a little, immediately getting what he was going at.
“You want me to take your virginity, Lix?” you asked him, and you begged internally for him to say yes to you.
His hips pushed against yours, poking his erection directly onto your clit, making you gasp and roll your hips back. He moaned and nodded. “Yeah, yeah, please” he said.
You bit your lip and stood up from the couch, making him look wide-eyed at you, his lips getting pouty and his eyes teary. “Let’s go. I’m giving you your first time on a couch, Lixie” you chuckled at him, offering your hand to him.
He smiled and grabbed it, following you towards your bedroom.
Once you were inside, you pushed Felix on the bed, making him giggle cutely at you.
You stood in between his legs and grabbed his hands, placing them by your waist, right by the hem of your shirt.
“Take it off, baby” you whispered and he visibly shivered.
He grabbed your shirt and slowly pulled it up your frame. You stood there with your bra and shorts, making Felix’s mouth water.
He was having everything he’s ever wanted right in front of him and his hands were getting sweaty at the amount of things he wanted to do but didn’t know how to.
You grabbed his hands again and made him push your shorts down your legs. You kicked them off and straddled Felix’s lap.
With your chest, you pushed him on his back and your hands trailed all over him, as you grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it off his skin.
You licked your lips as you saw his naked chest, while Felix eyed you with lust in his eyes. You pressed kisses down his chest, making sure to suck on his nipples and the moans that he was letting out made your panties wet. You trailed your kisses down to his stomach and navel, licking the skin right above the hem of the pants he was wearing.
“Poor baby, got so dressed for a woman not worth his time” you cooed, while pressing your hand on his crotch.
He bit his lip and whimpered.
“She wanted to fuck you and look at you, whimpering under me” you said, and grabbed the hem of his pants, along with his boxers, and pulled them down, his erection slapping against his stomach. You bit your lip and grabbed his shaft, making him moan out loud. “Maybe we should send her a picture or a video, don’t you think?” you asked, feigning innocence.
Felix sat up on his elbows and you started moving your hand up and down over him, your wrist twisting a little at the base.
“A video of me with your dick in my mouth, wouldn’t that be fun?” you asked and licked a stripe from his base to the tip. He threw his head back, his chest heaving as he tried to control himself while you sucked on his dick, the tip hitting the back of your throat.
When you did a certain move with your mouth, Felix grabbed your hair, wrenching your mouth away from him.
“I’m- I was close, I’m sorry” he apologized, out of breath.
You giggled and placed your hands behind your back, unclipping your bra and throwing it over your shoulder.
Felix’s eyes widened as he took you in and his hands grabbed your waist, placing you down on the bed once he felt a leap of courage.
He didn’t even wait for you to stop bouncing and enveloped one of your breasts in his mouth. You moaned, arching your back against his mouth as you grabbed his hair.
“Lix…” you whimpered, your legs going around him.
He took his mouth away from your chest and grabbed the hem of your panties, searching approval in your eyes.
With a smile, you nodded and he slowly pulled them down your long legs. He threw them away and his fingers shakily found your heated and wet core. “Fuck, you’re so wet, love” he whispered.
“Yeah, who’s fault is that?” you asked with sarcasm, making him laugh a little. He dropped a kiss on your mouth.
He found your clit and rubbed it a little with his fingers. You bit your lip and grabbed his face, making him look at you.
“Lix, I love what you’re doing but I need you to fuck me like- right now” you said out of breath.
He let out a shaky breath and nodded, dropping a kiss on your lips.
“Just- just guide me through it, okay?” he asked you.
You nodded and gave him a kiss. “Yeah, of course, my love”
Felix’s heart fluttered at the name and positioned himself right above you, the head of his shaft brushing over your hole.
He let out a moan and grabbed the base of his dick, pushing it inside of you. You moaned when he was buried to the hilt, making your nails dig into his back.
“Shit, Felix, you’re so big, baby” you moaned hotly against his ear.
He stayed still, trying to breath through his nose and regain his senses. He could barely think and he knew that if he didn’t start doing so, he’d embarrass himself. And he really didn’t want to in front of the love of his life.
You shifted underneath him and his hands came to stop you by the waist.
“W-wait…”
“What?” you asked him out of breath.
“Stop moving, I- I want this to last” he said and you chuckled a little.
You waited for him to regain his composure and then he lifted his head, looking at you. His eyes were shining and he smiled at you, pressing a long kiss to your lips.
“Thank you…”
“For what?” you asked, confused.
“For letting me do this” he said, and you could feel how he was holding back. “I know you don’t feel like that like I do for you but-”
“Felix…” you cut him off. Your heart almost broke at seeing his face and for making him think that you didn't like him like that. “Felix, I’m in love with you, babe”
His eyes widened and watered a little. “Really?” he asked, like a little child.
You smiled and nodded. “Yeah”
He kissed the breath out of you and you wrapped your arms around him. “I love you” he muttered against your mouth.
“Okay, I love you but please move” you moaned.
He nodded against your mouth and started moving slowly. His hands were gripping the sheets as he moved in and out of you.
You did a certain movement in which you tightened around him and he moaned brokenly. “Fuck, do that again” he whispered.
You grabbed his hair and pulled him down, covering his mouth with a fiery kiss while you tightened around his length. You pulled your leg closer to your chest, opening yourself more for him, making him hit your spot. You moaned and threw your head back on the pillow.
“Fuck, right there” you whimpered and he moved his hips harder against the spot.
Felix closed his eyes with a pant and pressed his forehead against your chest. “Shit, shit, Y/N, I’m gonna come”
You quickly rubbed your clit so you could come with him, and you tightened around him when you felt the wave crash over you.
With a moan, you came around him while he continued hitting your sweet spot.
“I’m coming” he moaned against your mouth before wrapping his lips around yours in a kiss. With uneven thrusts, he spilled his load inside of you, filling you completely and then collapsed on top of your body, completely spent.
You wrapped your arms and legs around him, inviting his weight with a smile.
“You okay?” you whispered out of breath.
“Fuck… is it… is it always like that?” he asked, in the same state as you.
You chuckled. “No, it isn’t, actually. But it’ll be like that with us” you whispered in his ear.
You felt him smiling against your skin and he pressed a kiss on it.
── .✦
You woke up the next day wrapped in your favorite blonde’s arms with a smile. You stood up from the bed, not before leaving a kiss on his forehead and making sure he was well covered by the sheets. The shirt you had thrown off of him looked tempting on the floor so you threw it on your body as you walked down to the kitchen.
You had decided that there wasn’t a better way to wake up to the new future ahead of the two of you with breakfast in bed.
Once you started whipping the eggs and cutting down the fruit, you started thinking about different fake scenarios of you and Felix, smiling about the possibility of them becoming true.
Your fantasies were cut short when a knock on the door startled you.
You frowned, really not expecting anyone.
Forgetting to check the peephole, you grabbed the doorknob and opened the door.
The girl that rejected Felix was standing in front of you. Her eyes widened and looked at you up and down, clearly recognizing the shirt that he had been wearing the night before on your body and catching the hickeys on your neck.
“Um, hi” she said, shifting on her feet.
“Hey… you are?” you asked, pretending you didn’t know who she was.
“I- I think I got the wrong number. I’m looking for Felix” she chuckled nervously.
“Oh, the guy you rejected yesterday?” you asked her, getting angry at the nerve the girl had. “Yeah, he’s sleeping in my bed. Tired him out last night” you chuckled.
“O-oh” she stammered dumbly. “I- can I talk to him?” she asked.
“Mmm, I doubt it. He’s really tired” you said. “But I’ll tell him you stopped by”
Without waiting for her response, you shut the door in her face and walked back to the kitchen, grabbing the tray you had prepared for him.
You walked back to your room and saw Felix sitting on the bed, rubbing his eyes.
“Hey, baby” he smiled as he saw you. “I heard someone at the door, who was it?”
“No one, hon” you replied. “I brought you breakfast”
He smiled even wider and kissed your cheek once you sat down next to him, wrapping his arms around you. “I love you… so much” he whispered on your neck, kissing the skin there.
You wrapped your arms around him as well and basked in his warmth. “I love you…”
............
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#stray kids x reader#stray kids smut#skz imagines#felix x reader#felix x female reader#felix smut#felix imagine#lee felix x reader#skz smut#stray kids#lee felix#felix lee
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Mon Ange. | KTH
listen while reading — Is there someone else The Weeknd
— I made you mine, or so it seemed. I might as well be two feet tall. You never will love me at all. —
You’re calling out for his name, nothing can kill this moment. He feels sweetness and ease.. never has he let himself slip. But tonight is his birthday or so it was hours before.
Nonetheless, nothing could kill the stillness.
"Hm?" he’s mumbling with his speech, nose buried into pretty flushed skin. He feels confused, feeling you still when your words came out so blurred in his mind.
“I have to tell you something.”
Completely lost now where this was going, he stills his touch. Awkward and stiff, you make eye contact for what you are about to say.
He doesn’t understand the build up, he just wish you would say what it was. Maybe you had to take some time away from him due to your work.. he understood, he didn’t mind that.
"I think we should end our arrangement."
Oh. It’s so different from what he had just suspected, why does his heart feel like it just plummeted to another oblivion of nothing?
Taehyung doesn’t care, he’s undisciplined and chaotic with his very few next actions.
You need to leave. Freezing up, ready for his immediate impulse, because you know him like the back of your hand. The man picks you right off from his lap, rather rough and he would have time to regret on the meanness of it later.
He’s quick to pointing his hand open palm stiff and stern to the now sad wrinkled dress on the floor that laid lonely.
“Well, go on then.”
Your eyes looked at him pained, you had not a clue what his reaction really meant but you moved. Wiggling on your dress, back faced to him before looking once more to see his distracted stare. He is so out of it now, he doesn’t know.
“You understand.. right, Tae?” oh why must you speak so sweet to him using his shorten nickname in that especially nauseating sweet voice, even the way you are ending this is a million times nicer than he has ever ended a fling with a person.
“I do, bye.”
He’s being so mean, harsh and rude.
Taehyung hopes you won’t dwell on it or let it hurt your heart like it will to his very own.
But somehow he wants it to pain you, make you feel the same burn and ripping he feels in his chest right now. What did he do wrong?
“Goodbye Taehyung.” and that was it, the door clicked and so did his very front one. Left with the forbidden but likely delicious and perfect red velvet cake you’ve made, and a gift that sat perfectly next to it wrapped in his favorite color for wrapping paper on his kitchen island.
And indeed you had to make his favorite cake flavor, meaning you remembered the stupid detail when he told you on a night together.
≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾
He remembers so clearly on the morning you stayed after for the first time coming over for six months. The two of you had lazed in his bed between tangled limbs and sheets “I will, I will protect you.” your lips dropped into a pout tracing your nimble finger over the man’s jaw.
How could you even say that when you leave him not much later, he doesn’t get it. This isn’t like you at all. Maybe being in pained denial he couldn’t accept the sore fact that someone made the first move on with abandonment.
You weren’t supposed to lie, it’s uncalled for and unacceptable. But even deep down the man knew he was being ignorant, he’s lied to many people to avoid hurt and it was his own field of career to lie if necessary.. that’s all you were trying to do.
The man can’t dare to muster up to think you have a bad bone in your little body that was filled of nothing less of kindness. But right now he won’t be rational with his assumptions.
He’s angry and selfish with dire need for your presence now all over again, no matter the situation that this is. But whatever really, big deal that you are gone. He will find someone else to fuck his life into, you are no different from any other living human with a hole.
…
He pauses.
Never mind that, fuck that. He deserves a good and perfect reason for why you did this.. leaving him in the dark, quite literally. Taehyung can't stand not talking to you even if he never took time to speak so much into your conversations. He still appreciated all of your efforts and presence you put into whatever what you had was, now it’s all fucking gone.
He used to act upon impulse when he would have multiple play things through out the month. But you, you make him stop to think. It makes him wrinkle his nose because he does not have a clue why you turn him to be this way. It’s simply you being you, no spell.. no great manipulation in your words. Just you.
In the beginning of this arrangement he was reluctant given the age gap, especially with the relation that you were a long time family client of his.
Once he became enthralled with someone.. he could say it took a lot to kill it.
You weren’t the only one that had the privilege, he’s turned thirty two this year and definitely doesn’t have enough fingers to count on with how many girls he has used up and nicely dumped off to the side — kindly.
Sparing the honest reason that he needs to focus on his career before weeks later he would latch claws into his new toy, it’s only painstakingly different now.
Much different because he had never held onto a “toy” for over a few months at a time, the man liked variety and trying new things. With you in the picture, it was sickening at the fact that he grew real attachment to every little thing about you. It made him want you more. While he is nothing great of the sort for you, he was only a warm body to give you what was desired. You gave him your body and time, in return he would give you lust driven pleasure.
He was the one who established what you two were from the great beginning, he was not allowed to feel betrayed and cheated. Someone could hate him and he would cackle at that, a girl could scream at the stoic man and he’d chuckle again. Once you lose his interest there is no winning him back, it's as if getting stuck in a never ending pit of quick sand that could swallow you in pitiful eyes. He thinks it’s valid to feel this way, he’s coming to terms with the whole ordeal of what all this was.
Being your damn family lawyer and you had met him when you were the young age of nineteen, a mere baby. It definitely took some time for him to be ok with the fact that he would end up fucking you almost weekly with your given age — he’s not a pervert.. right? But you were a mature girl as you grew up, he liked you for this reason.. different and good for whatever he wanted and still you set healthy boundaries not letting him walk over your toes.
Time will pass nicely, right? He will be fine and move on — find someone even better. A little reflecting won’t hurt his soul.
It has been a little over two months since the grouch for a man has seen you, turning slowly into the twentieth century version for Scrooge.
Promising himself each day he would not give in and call you, you will be the one to run back.
He’s been saying that to himself since the day you up and left.. now his very once high and wild ego was now dwindling day by day and he is pissed beyond belief, because wow, wowww. You really did leave him as if he planned to do the exact for you in the beginning of meeting with you, that was before he caught a liking and it was only for your body, of course.
Yes.. that’s what is was. It was only really your gorgeous body that gave him pleasure to see you again and again, never mind the fact of your amazing personality or one of a kind glowing aura that brought a sweet genuine smile on his usual crest fallen features.
Broken from his reverie he’s receiving a call, he’s been sat still buried in his office since six am. It’s how he gets through his days to not think about you or testing the waters of calling.
The phone clicks and clatters, he needs to get himself a new desk phone or better yet just buy another smartphone. Huffing and puffing, he inhales and exhales seeing the caller id.
“Hello, it’s been awhile sir.”
It’s your father, he has to fake a front for the sake of niceties and also being civil because your very own damn dad has been using the Kim’s for any law or business relations since Taehyung was probably born, he’ll complain and grumble later on to a nice white wall of his.
“Oh yes! Things have been crazed.”
Taehyung really wonders about that, a hotel tycoon can only get so wild and crazed.. right?
“Hmm, I understand. What can I help you with.”
“Ah, Mr Kim. let’s get down to it—“ the grinch for a man licks and licks his lips again out of great big habit, becoming nervous of the lingering for just how long it takes this man to get to a point. Many clicks and clattering over the other line.. the older would continue.
“So, I need to talk through some paperwork with you regarding about merging contracts.”
“Go on, sir.” he can’t be this vague.. come on. Shouldn’t he know better than to speak so small about important shit, god help his ticking time bomb for patience being not a virtue.
Ping
If silence could kill it would be deathly here and now, he receives the paper work faxed over. A skim and scan later — Taehyung feels his heart plummet to places beyond his comprehension.
It’s just so now, he realizes your father has been blabbering about whatever this whole time.
“What is this all for?”
His eyes ogle and ogle for more than a few times he could count, reading the bold letters of “Marital License and Contract Briefing.”
“Well if it wasn’t obvious, our dear y/n is going to get married next month. We have set her up with the perfect man who is a well respected hotelier heir, a perfect match for our family.”
Of course.. of course your father would set you up with a person that is in the same position of business as him, you probably had no word or real say in this. God, why does he feel wrath and anger. He wants to rip his hair out straight.
He should be happy for you, your new husband to be probably feels like home in his arms.
So much that he bets he mends you with warm healing long hugs, and utterly disgusting kind smiles that remind you of honey mixed into sweet vanilla, your very two favorite things.
He continued to offer your father a tight-lipped smile as if he could see him through the phone, briefly looking up from the contracts on his computer screen — faxed papers sitting nice and crisped on his desk. He thinks it’s best he ends this call now before he yells off.
“Ok sir, I’ll look over them and we will discuss the terms and things that will be strewn.”
“Oh that is great to hear! I invite you over tomorrow for tea, we will discuss all of the paperwork then. Yes?”
He won’t allow himself to think about that, he will agree just to get off this damn phone call.
“Yes sir, I’ll see you then, good night.”
Click.
He’s here, he can’t believe he actually came.
Sat in the way too high ceilings for a living area, he will blame it on why he feels this nauseated. God, he knows you live here obviously. It’s been your parents odd and traditional rule until you were ready to move out when they thought it was best, you always said that was why you still stayed with them. What he didn’t know was the bizarre underlying conditions were marriage.
“Ah Kim, here we are.” The meeting begins and ends with the blink of an eye.
It went awful in Taehyung’s eyes, he really didn’t want to hear about you getting married off for a great three hours. It left the man wanting to seethe and bite his mouth off until the older would finally shut up to take a puff or sip of liquor.
Then on he tried to laugh with your father.. even when it felt as if pearly teeth might crack with only how hard his jaw flexed shut.
Your father welcomes the man to stay over for only awhile longer, he won’t accept it, kindly.
He has to get going.. because someone (Taehyung) couldn’t handle on what all just happened. While the hag of your father thought it was a good idea to step out and take a call.
15 minutes before
It’s been minutes now and your father isn’t back, Taehyung decides to dwell around with his eyes to gawk at the various family portraits hung from generations before and other astray framed photographs of little you and family.
He has the urge to trace his finger along the frames but he won’t, definitely not now.
“Tae..?”
Like clockwork, Taehyung’s head cocks in nanoseconds to the spiraled staircase you stood by, gripping on the bar to keep stance.
You look gorgeous right now, still the same as before. He can’t help but let his eyes trail over your legs, he’s no better than any other man. He decides he can’t stare for much longer though, clearing his throat to cock his head off to the side in mimicking a fake neck crack.
“Hello.” he decides on, licking lips for the trillionth time and resting hands into pockets.
Your stare doesn’t stutter elsewhere, you copy him yourself — licking lips except only slower and more tantalizing. Or that’s how he sees it. He hated confrontation, one of his favorite things about you though.. is you’d ask too many questions every time you were around. He’d act like he hated it, but bathed in the attention and attentive wide eyes you once had all for him.
It’s only none of the many questions you’d ask would ever provoke the man to deflect, bother him up the wall and make him drop you soon later in his own sheer annoyance like usual. It’s happened to others, he’s an asshole but he could care less because at least he is honest.
Seeing you now gives him bitter sweetness for deja vu, the memory to when he saw you for the first time when you were eighteen — never having an ounce of interest in you then. You were a pesky teenager though, ogling the man like sweet candy for your taking. Nothing unusual he hadn’t encountered before.. only ever moving forward to do his job and ignore it.
That helped some.
Both of you finally interacted properly then when you were twenty, clear that you had matured fast and you were well with holding good conversation. While.. your dear father ran around with his head cut off like a chicken and leaving a bored lawyer Kim to wait for set business meetings to be done, you were lovely company at least.
Then somehow.. something happened, the day where he took your virginity in your childhood bathroom — it was your 21st birthday after all.
It was almost too universal how the world wanted you two to be alone at this awful time. But the moment happened so fast maybe too fast if he wants to dwell on it now, only once comforting the weeping girl that trembled in his arms to have you seconds under his grasp.
You had to, just had to look down at him with those puppy dog eyes choking a mere sob of “Am I not important.. is that what it is Tae?”
God he hated how you said his name, so sweet and quiet. Full of vulnerability and sadness.
He couldn’t allow a pretty girl like you, sobbing over something so minuscule on her birthday, he had a great plan of course. Comfort? No.
Fuck the sadness out of you, it will do you well.
It’s shameful at how he’s too old for your young sweet heart that still had much to see and live.. he’s nothing but rotten fruit at best.
But why did he want to stay selfishly so.
Your eyes did it in for him, they always did..
Corny and sappy he thinks.
He tries to move on with the passing thoughts of why do you need to be claimed now when he was starting to think he could have tried. He hopes you had at least one passing thought yourself of the what ifs and hows.
Present
All but nothing of silence settles between the two of you, no words are exchanged past that.
Eventually steps dissipate further from him to hear, you leave after the stare off you both shared — thankfully your father interrupts.
It’s been a few hours since you last saw him, you knew way before he was going to dial your phone. Doing exactly this, after your third attempt to ignore the countless calls you press accept to hear the expectant drawl of your name in stupor.
You’re sure he’s grinning dumb and widely boxy, almost as if youth takes over for these very small tipsy minutes. His vulnerability is clearly yours now, it’s so viable at how bad he is vying for attention.
You prepare yourself, clearing your throat and speaking as clear and stern as one could be.
“Hello?”
“Hmmmhmm, hello.”
There’s a pause, awkward, but he’s drunk so he likely doesn’t recognize the rising tension.
“Yes, Taehyung?”
There’s a giggle..? Oh my god he just giddily giggled at your voice. No, no your heart isn’t doing backflips — you’re just concerned.
“At your door, open sesame.” you can hear him try to knock like a madman — even if there’s visibly a buzzer that’s meant to be there so insiders could hear from the size of your parent’s insanely huge home.
Drunk Taehyung doesn’t know that though.
Fuck well, ok you guess. Thank god your father isn’t home for the night — you begin to panic but you can dissolve situations fine, it’s your strong suit or one of the many of them at least.
You practically lunge from your bed to tumble over down the stairs, trying to keep him half entertained while you tunnel yourself to the door before the maids could see the odd sight.
Being quiet as you can be with unlocking the door, Taehyung makes it no issues to pull a dramatic scene. Already seconds in through the door staring you down, like any other would be scared of the predatory stare.
But this is Taehyung, he would never hurt you.
All you can do, Slowly watching him advance at you skittering back until you’re pressed to the wall. He doesn’t touch you, leaned against the victorian wall with each hand on either side trapping you between him.
He won’t stop there yet, drawling your name out in a drunken purr “Aw-huh. Angel, you got yourself stuck..what are we going to do now?" like no moral was ever created — toes curled into wooden floors from the deep baritone voice awakening all of your weaken senses.
You try, trying so damn hard and ignore it.
Staring hard into empty eyes, his bags are awfully visible and you wonder if he’s even slept lately.
You’re so tiny and frazzled by his abrupt actions, feeling him slide a warm hand up to your stomach to trail barely under your tits. The same said empty eyes sharpen at your slip of a pathetic whine, closing you into the wall a tad too close for comfort to make you both bump into each other’s chest.
“Wanna fuck this pretty cunt again.”
His words boom into you everywhere, from head to toe and places you wouldn’t like to acknowledge that throbbed with need. Doomed, definitely, that’s what you are.
You can only exhale feeling a warm shiver travel down your spine from the daring slip of drunken tongue. Able to pull enough strength to squeak a soft response “L-let’s lay down.”
It was your best bet to avoid from ruining your impending future, you won’t allow no more mishaps to happen. It’s all for your father.
He settled off with a hum, you were surprised he’d backed off. Maybe the man recognizing the nervousness in your tone, “Lead the way.”
It’s quiet now, too tense for your liking but you can’t do anything you think to help the off situation. Laid in your bed next to each other with a foot of space between your bodies.
It’s uncanny how alike this situation reminds you of some movie you watched with the man.
You feel like you’re steps away from saying the infamous line of “Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off.”
You won’t have a second to think longer when the big bear decides to speak up into the unknown of silence that had lasted for a long hour, “I get it.. yeah, you don't love me, big fucking deal.”
Silence, absolutely nothing back.
“I’ll never tell you how I really feel, angel.”
Your breath was being held for seconds until he decides to follow with cockiness, there it is.
Always showing a slip of vulnerability followed with the man being plain rude. It’s the way your eyes roll that cause a gasp to stutter from him, almost like he didn’t expect your attitude nor harsh yet honest reaction.
He won’t comment on it properly, never does.
“Hold me.” he mumbles while simultaneously grumbling, trying his definition in hard to get you closer than whatever.. this is. Your brow ticks at him head shifting to properly face his pouted features from his side profile, feeling up for the need to deny him only a bit.
“What? Stop mumbling.”
He won’t take a pause this time, thankfully.
“Hold me goddammit.” he huffs and puffs out even louder — yet incoherently all in the same breath. Taehyung coughs, trying to clear his throat and mocks you with a roll in his own eyes of annoyance, like you did something.
That time you did “hear” him and you did what was asked by the big grizzly bear, only you turned to him closer now — seeing that wry smile on his cruel but godforsaken pretty face.
The spiral begins, you and him are going to give into this hell of fire.. only letting it grow uncontrollable by the end of night.
Are you going to do well without me?
Are we ever going to be okay?
Will we ever be fine?
You were too good to be forgotten in his heart.
It was too quiet in this room, silent and tense.
Taehyung felt nothing but regret, fucking stupid as he closed his eyes and mumbled these pitiful words.
Stupid, as he continued to speak gibberish into the room. I feel stupid. I am stupid.
You finally give up on the swallowing of the never ending silence and endless mumbling under his breath, tongue dry trying to clear your throat so to maybe finally speak — maybe even summon him back, and he does. It works because he lets his eyes finally open back.
You tug him into your chest wasting no more time when there’s not much, arms wrapped tight around his stiff figure that takes only just a minute to loosen once he realized you weren’t going to push him back anymore.
It’s not much different though, his nails still pierced into his forearm with thin lips folded into teeth to feel anything but what this is right now. You were staring at him, Taehyung, your father’s lawyer, your first crush and realization that you really only like and desire older men.
Now wishing you’d rather have gone to therapy instead of pursue that day in the bathroom.
You don’t mean that actually, you just hate yourself at this very moment and so does he.
But this wasn't the Taehyung you knew, wasn't the same man with styled hair and sultry eyes.. looking now as real life death in your arms.
You weren’t trying to be harsh nor hateful, you were worrying your heart out and confirming all the racing thoughts you have figured to be maybe going on. Only for them to come to life. He looks unreal tonight, almost unnatural from his usual sun kissed skin. No more sharpness to his look, the man looks fucking sick.
You want to coddle him to death, your own heart feels like it’s going to lurch right out from it’s chest by any second now if he keeps looking at you with those sad puppy dog eyes. This was not the look you yearned to see, you hated it all so much.
“Well.” clearing his throat, trying to prove something into air. Maybe it’s a lawyer instinct.
You repeat back to him without a beat to really think, “Well..” you use the same tone of voice but maybe yours wavered more in raw pain. The man wordlessly continued to stare like always, holding your hand tight in his grip in bringing it up to his lips. You should reject his warm touch, leave even, run far.
But why are you still laying here.. melting away.
He was being this gentle and just careful, you would giggle if the situation weren’t tense now.
Long fingers playing with lips, digits ghosting over your cheek with a soft caress. You can’t help but shut your own tired eyes, melting more and more and it was just like that.
His control is gone, so fast and fluidly when your lashes fluttered to cold skin. Whispering his name too sweet and soft almost in prayer.
"We can’t.. it would be wrong.” it’s insane how you knew his intentions from the speed his hands traveled to the material of your night dress.
"So fucking wrong," he becomes almost too ready with heavy pants of hot breath kissing your jaw and neck.
Eager calloused thumbs rubbing circles into your hips that were on the brink of trembling.
You whine at the tone he uses, becoming easy to his invasion "Don't.. don't speak like that." Eyes heavy lidded, lips licking with each breath that exhaled from your stuttering chest.
He wants you dead it seems, feeling up your body more and more by every passing second before easy fingers would get to your chest.
"I'm wrong like that.. you like it," the man preaches with determined digits this time skimming back down onto your hips to hear his favorite strangled whines "you want it.”
"Ah.. T-tae” it’s pathetic.. sounding asthmatic in your own ears from mere fingers grazing you rough.
"Who's married? Certainly not you, yet."
You pause to mull it over, eyes falling into his.
He truly doesn’t care now, past gone. Nothing can stop this — you need him.. your sweet eyes tell almost all too fucking well for him to know.
He's moving on autopilot when he pulls you to him with no awareness of anything around him, the man frenzied with his only living goal to feel you wrapped around him. Whether it be with loose limbs or his all well endowed cock buried deep between warm tightness, he needed to feel you again.
Your gasps fall out too soft to be surprised at the sudden roughness, murmuring whining moans that fell into a mantra of "We can't..” tiny cries that quickly later start falling into hungry kisses while neither of you had an ounce of intention to stop, no matter the end of it.
Lips already collided against each other in a perfect mess of motion, tongues lolled out of your mouthes as the pleasure binds you both.
It’s disgusting now, strings of drool dribbling to your chest from every pause he took to pull and nip. The man grabs your scalp, yanking you head back against his shoulder. Jaw slack open to give him the prettiest mouth for him to gladly spit right down onto your tongue, so pathetic all for his demise.
Doing all the nothing but moaning and swallowing, open mouth with all your might.
Leaving a desperate plea in sparkly eyes while you wait impatient for his next move, you missed him. Eyes yearning and lips quivering, legs shaking so early on and yet.. your spine just might go limp quite soon.
You whine almost instantaneously and nothing less of desperate while the devious man began to nibble harshly down on your neck with small bites of love.
Moving on nothing but anger and bubbled feelings at surface, shoes being removed, with the stubborn zipper of your night dress slipping down from your shoulders as hungry lips explored every inch of skin that became exposed.
So quick, licking a wet stripe down your chest to stomach to feeling you shake with desire and need, tasting the want for you on his tongue.
“Hmm, your poor husband to be.”
He hated that, hated the fact that you were about to belong to someone. He knew he wanted and needed you to feel the burn that he had been feeling for months since then.
"I'm not t-telling," you can barely form a sentence let alone a proper sound that didn’t make you sound out to be like a deprived slut.
The man can’t do much other than scoff, you having the strength to use that reassuring tone— with such a soft tone and bat pretty doll eyes in lost of such easy pleasure given.
Looking this fucking gorgeous and it’s going to be all for someone else, not him ever “I know angel, not with the way i’m about to fuck you.”
Like clockwork you moan like a bitch at that, of course. Feeling him sink razor sharp canines down into the squishy flesh of your stomach.
Uncaring completely for the fresh marks, he would hope in your future meeting with that man.. you wouldn’t become so easy to show yourself off for him. Sliding his fingers from your stomach down over to your cunt, slipping long digits between sopping wetness — sticky as if you already had touched yourself earlier.
He’s growing impatient, on the aspect of stretching you out when he so gladly craves to stuff you four fingers full. But he’s a gentleman at his very best, always calling out for him in non-stop “T-tae..” or better yet “Touch me, I’m sorry, I’ll be good.” without any doubt he would answer “Anything for the angel.”
Your thighs already shake from the burn of /slowly/ fucking yourself on long fingers. Tears streaming, overwhelmed by the burning stretch that comes with each motion, soon quiet sniffles and soft gasps turn into sobbing when the man decides to snake his hand and start to tease and slowly circle your clit.
“So perfect, all for me, hm.”
You nod eager to please, blushing all the way down to your toes. Biting your lip, thoughts not holding very well against the feeling of the eager man’s middle finger now slipping out from you to part your cunt and stroke along the sore slit.
“Patient tonight? You must want it bad.” he sighs almost sounding bored, standing tall over you to undo the belt that once looped through his slacks. Long gone leather abandoned to the floor along with his slacks pooled at his ankles, ready, finally.
“You gotta be nice and quiet for me. Yeah? Can you do that for me?”
You’re way past desperate tonight, choking out a broken “Y-yes, fuck! Please.” wild hips winding up for more of the now lost touch.
The older plays coy, smirking lopsided and lazy, kneeling on the bed to line himself up to the pretty plump cunt. Long digits wrapped around his cock, "Open up for me baby."
She obeys immediately, legs opening wider to shakily wrap themselves around Taehyung’s waist. His hips up to slip his cock into the crease of your folds. Grinding there half tipsy now, leaky tip nudging at your clit.
Not wasting another second, the first push of stretch has you whining his name. Long nails piercing into taut honey skin, cock fucking in ruthless at the long thrusts that heat your core up, forming sweat down his neck and shoulders.
“Goood fucking girl.” He drawls with a husky moan, you want to die at how fucking hot he sounds.
He doesn’t care, going faster to no point of being coherent in your mind. Punishing strokes fucking the life out of you, snapping his cock right into your tight cunt. One hand bruised into your hip while the other slipped easily around your neck just enough to have you alert “Look me in the eyes when I’m fucking you.”
Lashes fluttering half open, looking with a fuzzy minded daze. Knowing you look like a slut, feeling drool drip everywhere along with the slickness between your legs. Coming to the reality you would let him do anything and you’d welcome it.
"Just like that baby, shit, taking my cock so fucking good," he grunts almost feral with every punishing stroke "Y-yes, " tiny voice choking out, slamming into you with hips winding harder if that was even humanely possible "Love it so much, I-love your cock.”
“Who’s a whore, uh? Who’s desperate for cock.”
“Tell me.” he growls slowing the roll of his hips into you to pull a desperate cockslut spill a mess of “Me, me, me.” you’re hyperventilating almost with how good he feels “M-me, I’m sorry!” god, the situation is a mess but he wouldn’t be lying if he wasn’t thinking about filling his load in you and pray to the man above that your birth control didn’t work.
feeling walls grow tighter and tighter, knowing the telltale signs you were about to cum.
“Perfect fucking girl, sucking me so tight.”
“S-stop..” you whine in embarrassment with a broken sob when you feel the devil himself sink deeper, balls deep inside you now.
Back and forth, back and forth.
An addictive dance, once friendly boundaries expanding to something that was speaking what will stay unspoken. Taehyung’s cock sliding so good inside your cunt you were dying with bliss for the night.
He can see you struggle to try and put a hand over your mouth, but the man won’t allow that. Snatching your hand in his grasp “Let her hear," he growls, referring to the maids and starts to fuck the life out of your cunt with no care for how loud you moan or scream.
"Y-your slut," you stutter, feeling him start to raise his hips to meet your weak attempt of grinding back, thrusting upward and matching your sloppy speed. "wanna b-be your slut."
His ego growing higher than before and dick hard as ever, Taehyung taunts, already knowing the answer by your dazed features.
“Oh yeah?” he pants grunting with every roll of his hips, and you can do nothing but give him what he wants. On the brink of tears you whine out broken moans, “So fucking bad, please Tae.”
“Come on." the taller’s strokes turning slow and hard, each one pulling a moan from sweet agape lips. "Cum on my cock.” you’re past coherent, cock drunk with drool slipping down your chin.
The ecstasy bursting through your body at an unimaginable rate,legs feel almost numb, smaller fingers gripping your sheets so hard. Taehyung already knew you would rip them off the corners of your bed, seeing how your own skin burned. Orgasm still sending ripples throughout your tiny body. Shaking as you came down from the high, cock buried deep, cum spilling inside as he keeps your body pressed together, skin to skin. His nose buried in the crook of longer sweaty strands of hair.
You begin to feel the feather kisses he mouthed over the expanse of your neck, his body quivering with the last of his cum filling you up.
“Fuck, yeah, ok.” is all he can do to respond, you can only hum in response as you’re being fucked so mind-numbingly good. Body moving along the bed as you’re fucked open for the year.
Your blissed-out state has the man feeling on top of the world, no case he’s won ever given him this much ecstasy for this feeling of high.
Knowing that the same woman he's been getting off to for months, that was only planned to be handed over to someone else is finally getting fucked. His pretty not so sweet angel drooling all for him, ruined for good by just his cock.
The floaty feeling back to how it was, only stronger than ever, the way Taehyung feels so right up against you.
He comes from his feverish moment of just drilling into you, no awareness for how overwhelming it may be. A smaller hand trying to grab his hand to make him stop, he sees nothing less of rage.
"Move your fucking hand.” he snaps with a hiss, snatching your hand in an iron like grasp.
“only I can touch you like this.” he states, hard and stern as if it’s a plead mixed into question. “Yeah?” of course he has to slap you for you to answer, braindead and cock hungry.
“Yes, all for you!” you squeal, body curling into yourself — he begins to dwell how there is not a real thought behind your eyes but his fingers and cock bearing your only passable thoughts.
He wants to laugh, your poor husband is about to be inadvertently about to be cucked.
You moan at how rough he’s being, every yank, spanking and slap getting you more than riled up. Rambling the typical ‘I love you, I love your cock.’
He’s aggravated, not sure why, deep down knowing. "Look at me and tell me what you want.” no way to receive an answer unless he squeezed a generous hand around your throat.
“Y-you, you, fuck!”
It’s not enough, he wants to laugh at his greediness that will not sate him ever.
Again and again, back and forth. Another slap landed across each apple red cheek, going harder each lashing.
“Again.”
You repeat yourself again, hm, still not enough.
He’s done with himself, frustrated and choosing to vomit his words.
“You’re mine, get that through your fucking head.” his thrusts were past hard and fast, bruising now. He grunted and groaned while you continued to moan and whimper beneath him, going so rough he decided to push your skull deep into the bed. Warm palm covering your face whole, feeling you squeeze involuntarily at being used like an object.
“Atta girl.” He didn't stop, not once. You weren’t asking to anyways just screaming his name for more — no mind here with nodding away into a mess full of bedsheets, trying to wind wobbly hips back on his cock to bounce lewdly.
Taehyung does nothing less but snap sharply against your ass, “So fucking tight, mine."
"C-cum in me tae," you moan, seeing white, reaching down blindly to rub your clit in frantic circles, begging at the idea of the older filling you with his cum. "Fill me up, give-give me a baby."
"Fuuuck," Taehyung growls and groans almost feral "Don't fucking say that shit."
"W-why not?" bratty whines beg “F-fill me up? Don't say that?"
Taehyung grunts, pulling you on him, chest to chest, you clamor to wrap shaky arms around his neck. Fuck, he’s holding you upright, bouncing you straight onto his cock. Falling forward with a squeal, crying in pleasure as the tip of his cock hits your cervix with how deep he is inside.
"Want my cum so fucking bad?" he hums, trying his best to sound unbothered. "I'll fucking give it to you then."
Your legs clamp around his waist as he pounds into you, cock hitting every point inside your body and you’re so close you think you’ll die. You feel Taehyung tense, and then a sudden gush of warmth fill you.
"Fuck me, angel. You feel so good." he gasps through l shut teeth spanking you with every thrust he gave.
At the feeling of him actually listening to what you always wanted, your orgasm blinds you in intensity, the tight coil in your stomach finally snaps. Body seizing, moans loud against his lips, whining a final tired cry to slow down.
The baby clip once stuck to hair now hung loose, the feeling of warm hands kneading hips before he would give harsh slaps to your ass.
"What do you think he would say," he spits out the name with nothing but disgust. “if he saw you like this?" He shifts his hips, "You think he'd ruin your orgasm?" tone patronizingly sympathetic. “Or.. let you cum so prettily, like you always do.”
He tsks at watching how disoriented daze eyes go through the five stages of grief. Writhing in pleasure as eyes fall closed, breath hitched when he finally lays you back down on the bed. Thighs sticky and all, he sighs at the sight.
“Want to show this cunt off to the world."
“Y-you can’t..” you pout, his eyes watching you fall apart all over again at just words being spoken to you.
“Good thing for secrets.” he smirks his mouth almost falling into a snarl, it wasn’t even spoken this would continue. One last time you agreed.. but you want him more than ever even if your situation is doomed.
“Bath?” he mutters with a whisper of soft kisses to your temple, you nod.
He grabs for his cigarettes, you hand him his lighter and wait until the deed was done so you could put them back off to the side again.
It’s been long since you both have took a bath together. He stretches his arms after he successfully calmed his nerves, you light the stick for him, eyes on him as he throws his head back to inhale. Blowing smoke out, body lazing while it filled with nicotine.
You like calm men, men who dont shout or break things when they’re upset. Men who talked to you in a gentle, low voice telling you what made them mad or what you did wrong.
That’s what Taehyung is to you, that’s what made you fall.. hard. You think it over all again in your current predicament, comfortable as ever.
Veiny caramel hands pulling your hips up in the bath for you to be settled nicely. A warm hand fondles your ass lovingly with his other taking puffs of smoke to inhale and exhale lazily, “My pretty girl.” he smiles lopsided before tugging your wobbly hips back down in relief, enjoying the way you whimpered and whined in your own way of retaliation.
Taking mercy before planting a wet kiss on your shoulder to whisper “I love you, Angel.”
Both of you decide on staying silent. Your back rests against his chest, deciding mutually to speak once the cigarette burnt into ashes.
“Does he make you feel safe, like I do?”
You don’t answer.
“I want you, you’re mine no matter what.”
≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾
You are married now.. being due with a fast wedding to no love involved, business as the main goal.
The meets with Taehyung continue and you two make time to fuck when you can — poor Namjoon.
It hurts he thinks.. hurts so bad. Because he’ll have to look at you every month when you come over to be fucked into whatever.
While he is out handling business, leaving him in the spot to fuck you hard and good like he can’t, at least he tried to convince himself of that for his own comfort.
You keep up with the old routine of pillow talk, just to feel the same mundanity this once all was. You think, he doesn’t care what you speak of after he only just poured his dull sad soul into fucking you.
Not caring at how you talk so highly of your new husband and how well you both are adapting with each other. Rambling all on about your blossoming relationship with him, hearing you nervously speak of the plans on having kids together.
Of course not nervous on his behalf, no, no.
Because you are deathly nervous about if you will be a good mother or not, he knows you will, even if things are like this. You think it doesn’t hurt him, when you say genuinely on how he’ll be the “Cool friend of Mommy’s” to your children.
It drives a knife deep into my heart on how you speak so highly of this new life, how well you are adapting. When.. we could have had this.
“Tae..? You there?”
He’s not caring to respond to your rhetoric question that was all well laced of genuine care and worry, Taehyung can be an asshole just this once.
“Do you know what you are?”
You think this is a game of teasing now, he can tell with that pretty smirk plastered on your gorgeous face “What am I, sir?”
It’s too bad that he’s being genuinely serious.
“You’re my girl.”
You don’t take a second to pause, you play into the narrative with a grin that quickly warped into an innocent and sweet smile.
“I’m your girl, Taehyung.”
He only knew that you meant the world to him.. and he, adored you in his mind until it hurt.
#bts fan fiction#bts ff#bts smut#kim taehyung smut#kim taehyung fic#taehyung smut#taehyung x yn#taehyung x oc#taehyung x reader#taehyung ff#taehyung fanfic#taehyung fic#taehyung pwp#bts angst#kim taehyung angst#bts au#bts aus
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can you pretty please do [intimidation] with eddie
🥺👉👈
[INTIMIDATION] sender, in an effort to frighten the receiver by invading their personal space, sits in their lap to try and inspire discomfort or fear in them.
cw: alcohol consumption, fem!reader, sort of enemies -> lovers (but actually idiots -> lovers), 2.4k
dividers by @strangergraphics
You're blocking the doorway into the Harrington kitchen, shoulder leaned against the wood panelling where you have a good view into the living room. Your unimpressed glare is drawn from the figure currently hogging the sofa when someone bumps into you just as you're bringing the plastic cup in your hand to your lips.
"Jesus, fucking watch it-" The outrage in your tone fades quick when you see who's run into you.
"Sorry." Jonathan grimaces as he watches you wipe a bit of juice and vodka from your chin.
"No, it's fine," You sigh and turn on your heel, following Jonathan into the kitchen as he begins to grab things to make himself a drink, though it appears to be far more lemon-lime soda and grenadine than anything else. "Sorry, I just.. I dunno, sorry." You shrug before gulping down another mouthful of your own admittedly strong drink. You're kind of hoping that once your buzz kicks in you'll feel just a little less like there's a storm cloud floating right above your head.
"What is with you, tonight?" Jonathan asks with an overly cautious smile, "I haven't seen Munson bug you even once, so it's gotta be somethin' else-"
"Nothing," You huff, a little defensive at just the mention of the other boy, "I'm fine."
"Oh yeah, totally," Jonathan chuckles and raises his newly acquired drink in a salute, "You're like a ray of sunshine tonight."
It's annoying as hell, but he's right. You're fuming and Eddie has yet to even speak to you. He's been avoiding you like the plague from the moment you walked through the door, as if Eddie could somehow sense that you were already in a mood, and he didn't feel like getting told off for being the reason that you finally snapped.
Because normally, Eddie would've found at least seven ways he could irritate you by now. He'd have finished the last of the juice he saw you eyeing for your next mixed drink and laughed maniacally when you pouted about it. He'd have pestered you about whether you might want to join in on another campaign, all while making a handful of little comments about just how easy it'll be for him to decimate your character when you do. He'd have watched you shiver while you passed a joint back and forth by the pool, and then draped his stupid jacket around your shoulders just so he could roll his eyes and give you shit about not dressing warmly enough.
Eddie was infuriating — And the worst part was that he knew it. The asshole thrived on pushing buttons and testing people's limits, but tonight evidently he'd been able to tell that you were already toeing dangerously close to yours and had steered clear altogether.
You peer back out into the living room now, narrowed eyes zeroing back in on the figure sprawled across the entire length of the loveseat, socked feet kicked up on the opposite cushion where someone else could be sitting if he weren't such a selfish prick.
"God, what an asshole." You grumble, downing the last of your drink and grabbing the nearest bottle to begin mixing another. "I mean, look at him, seriously. Does he have to take up the whole couch?"
Jonathan's gaze follows the path your own had taken moments before, and he snorts in amusement, "Eddie."
It's not a question, but you answer him as if it had been.
"Yes, Eddie." Another quick glance up into the living room has your eyes locking with the man in question just as his name falls from your lips.
Eddie's eyes go wide, his cheeks dimpling with his sudden grin. He jabs his index finger into his chest, lips moving silently around the words, "Who? Me?"
"Uh-huh.. Why don't you go do something about it?" Jonathan teases.
Eddie's attention is pulled away when Gareth says something from his spot in an armchair. Whatever he says it gets Eddie riled up and he's immediately talking animatedly, hands gesturing wildly as he speaks.
"Maybe I will." You're already moving with purpose, halfway out of the kitchen when you hear your friend shout after you.
"I was joking!"
"Well I'm not!" You call back over your shoulder.
It's darker as you step into the living room, overhead lights off in favor of utilizing the warmer glow from the the lamp tucked away in the corner. You have to step over Eddie's discarded shoes at the foot of the sofa, and the boy very nearly knocks your drink out of your hand when you step in front of him, too distracted by his own tirade to have seen your approach.
But his head snaps up toward you as your thigh brushes his arm. Whatever he's been saying, the words cut off abruptly at the realization of who it is standing beside him.
"Well hey there, princess." He shoots you a toothy grin — You assume it's meant to be charming, but it only irritates you further. "To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?"
You ignore Eddie in favor of casting a small smile of apology toward Gareth, "Sorry to interrupt."
"Nah, no worrie-"
"No, no! You didn't interrupt. We were done." Eddie cuts his friend off, "Gareth was just telling me he was gonna go take a piss, actually."
Gareth splutters for a moment, but when his eyes shift from you to Eddie he's suddenly rising from his chair. You watch Gareth shake his head as he steps around you before he stalks off without a word.
"What was that about?" You can't help but ask in curiosity.
"Beats me. Really had to piss, I guess." Eddie says quickly, sitting up a little straighter against the arm of the couch. He throws an arm out to gesture to Gareth's recently vacated chair, "Did you wanna-"
Rather than taking advantage of the empty seat, you plop yourself across Eddie's thighs unceremoniously, feeling oddly satisfied by the huff of surprise that escapes him when your weight is suddenly in his lap.
The way the warmth of his body seeps into your own is near immediate, even through two layers of denim. Your arm presses into his chest as you lean back into the cushion of the sofa, trying and failing to remain unaffected by his proximity. He smells infuriatingly good this close, clean and masculine with just a lingering hint of the weed he'd smoked earlier in the night. It makes your stomach flutter wildly, makes your head swim for half a second before you're lifting your cup to your mouth in an effort to compose yourself.
Eddie huffs softly and his breath fans out over your exposed shoulder, warm and smelling faintly of cheap beer and menthols. Goosebumps prickle along the length of your arm, hairs standing on end suddenly. You wish you could convince yourself that your body's reaction were one of repulsion, but deep down you know that its something far, far worse than that.
"You.. You're just gonna.. sit.. here?" Eddie asks, voice a little wobbly, unsure.
His knuckles brush your thigh, likely an accident, but one sidelong glare has his hand retreating to the relative safety of the couch cushion in a flash.
"Yep."
You can see outside to the patio from your position, and you focus your attention to the group sitting with their feet in the pool. The sheer amount of effort it takes to keep your eyes trained there, rather than allowing them to drift to where Eddie's hand twitches near your knee-
"Do- Did you want me to move my legs? Do you want-" He shifts underneath you like he's ready to pull his feet from the cushion at the other end, but you remain resolutely in place.
"Nope, I'm good."
You have absolutely no plans of moving any time soon. You'd remain seated right here in Eddie's lap until his bladder was ready to burst, until your weight made his legs fall asleep and tingle from lack of blood flow, until he was ready to grab you by your hips and force you into another seat.
He'd learn his lesson. The inconsiderate couch-hogging asshole.
"O..kay." Eddie says slowly, wiping his palm on the side of his own denim-clad hip, as if his hands might've gotten a little sweaty.
Were you making him warm? Good.
"So.." Eddie pauses. You catch a glimpse of his face scrunching in thought at the corners of your vision before he continues, "Any big plans for the weekend?"
With how close you're sat, Eddie is speaking almost directly into your ear. There's no need for him to raise his voice to be heard, and you find that the low rumble of it is nice, soothing almost. It curls around your ears and sends something warm shooting down your spine.
"Killing boys." You return dryly, eyes straining now in an effort to remain focussed on what's going on in the backyard.
Eddie snorts, body jolting underneath you with his amusement — And his almost-laughter absolutely does not make your chest flush with pride. You couldn't care less whether or not Eddie Munson finds you funny. As if.
"Oh, so nothing out of the ordinary for you then."
Eddie chuckles and the tip of his thumb finds its way to the place where your thigh presses into his. You can't tell if it's accidental or on purpose, but the gentle press of his finger maybe kind of makes your stomach flip pleasantly, so you allow it. Whatever.
You hum in agreement, "Yeah, well. There's almost always some boy who deserves it."
"I don't doubt it," Eddie murmurs with a wide grin, his head tipped sideways over the back of the couch, cheek nearly brushing your shoulder now, "Anyone I know currently at the top of your list, madame assassin?"
"There is this one asshole." You pause to take a sip of your drink, fighting off a grimace at the awful liquor to juice ratio. "He's loud. And irritating. Just loves getting on my last nerve-"
"Long hair?"
The interruption has your eyes rolling, "Yep. Walks around looking like some Van Halen wannabe."
"Oh, he sounds cool."
You can practically hear the smirk in his voice now.
"Well he's not." You return blankly. "He's always trying to get a rise outta me, acting like a total prick-"
"Hold on, hold on-" Eddie cuts you off again, "Now I'm not so sure we're on the same page. Thought I knew who you were talkin' about, but-"
"Oh, you know him." You grumble, sinking farther into the plush cushion on the back of the couch with your drink clutched to your chest. "You know him well, trust me."
Eddie shifts beneath you, angling both himself and you until he's taking up more of your line of sight than the patio doors. His big brown eyes bore into you until you crack and flick your gaze toward him.
"Here's the thing.." Eddie starts, the pad of his thumb stroking the seam on the outside of your knee. "Maybe this guy's just pushing your buttons because he likes when all of your attention is on him-"
The arm he has thrown over the back of the couch by your shoulder moves then, brushing your hair back from your temple only to backtrack and trail the pads of his fingers featherlight over the space between your brows.
"-Maybe.. Shit, I dunno, maybe he likes the way your eyebrows come together when you're angry-"
Your heart is beating so loud you can hear the blood pumping in your ears. The urge to fidget under his attention is strong, but you sit at still as possible in fear of breaking the spell. You have to strain to hear Eddie's next words over the dull whoosh of your heartbeat echoing in your skull.
"Maybe he thinks you look kinda devastatingly beautiful-"
"You-" And, fuck. Did your voice just crack? "You're trying to tell me you think this guy is, what? Being a dick because he likes me? Pulling my pigtails on the playground and shit?"
Eddie's grin is less cocky than you've ever seen it. His lips twitch at one side of his mouth. He almost looks nervous.
You take a deep breath as his fingers skim over your jaw on their way back toward your hair, where he pinches a small lock between two fingers and tugs twice, oh-so gentle.
"What if he was?" Eddie asks softly, "Being a dick because he likes you, I mean."
"I'd tell you he's an idiot." You manage, plastic cup crinkling under the increased pressure of your hand.
Eddie winces, but nods and averts his gaze. His arm falls to the back to the sofa again, close enough for you to feel the warmth of it beside your shoulder.
"But.." You have to swallow down a smile when Eddie's wide eyes snap right back to yours. "Maybe this idiot's attraction isn't totally one-sided. So, maybe he should stop being an asshole and try making a move."
Eddie blinks. Once, then twice. He squares his shoulders and leans in like he might kiss you, but then he backs off again and searches your eyes as if he's terrified he might be reading the entire situation wrong.
"Eddie." You whisper sharply, "The idiot is you, asshole."
"Oh, Jesus Christ, thank god."
And then his fingers are curled gently around the back of your neck. His hand is fully grasping your opposite thigh as he tries to drag you impossibly closer. His plush lips are pressing softly into your own, the taste of beer mixing with vodka and citrus.
It's a quick kiss, chaste. Your mouths only remain glued together for all of three seconds before he's leaning back just enough to watch you blink at him from beneath heavy lashes. You can't imagine how stupidly docile you look; brows pushed up your forehead, chest nearly heaving beneath your shirt, jaw slack, lips parted and waiting for more. It's pathetic how he's managed to turn you into this with just one G-Rated kiss.
The hand on the back of your neck moves to your face, fingertips tracing the smooth line of your brow before trailing back down to cup your cheek.
"Yeah.. Yeah, this is nice too." Eddie murmurs, "You're awful pretty when you're mad, but this.. This right here is somethin' else."
"You're so annoying." It comes out airy, absolutely no bite to your words.
"Oh, that's not changing, sweetheart. Matter of fact, I think it's a part of our spark. Gotta keep the fire burning, right? I'll keep annoying you, you'll keep getting angry-"
"Would you just shut up and kiss me again?"
Eddie grins, already leaning in, "Sure thing."
#ah yes a little lap sitting is VERY itimidating 🙂↕️ uhuh yeah totally#this one was very fun to write and i absolutely got carried away but here we are#eddie munson#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson enemies to lovers#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson x fem!reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson idiots to lovers#*
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