#It's not that I'm losing faith. I'm not. Or even that I doubt His plan.

[thegreenleavesofspringinsunlight]

Y'all please pray for me, I am Not Feeling It today.

[newtkelly]

Not to word vomit on you but I can't stop thinking about Oliver wanting a love story like Tarlos and how it all accidentally lined up.

Knowing that Carlos and TK were about to move in, and then Carlos made that romantic gesture and TK got scared because it was, "too good to be true."

Carlos is left, confused, puzzled and nursing a broken-heart but still just as in love. What do you mean that TK and Carlos saw a future together, one got scared at that prospect and left before Carlos was the one to leave??

What do you mean that happened after Oliver said he wanted Bucktommy to have a love story like Tarlos; where it was always going to be them?

Then you consider Oliver saying that we might see Tommy and Buck interact during a call and it'll be awkward and who can't help but think of TK and Carlos running into the furniture store and seeing each other for the first time in weeks.

Anyways, sorry to be delusional in your ask box. I'm deep within the Tarlos trenches so this is all starting to look eerily familiar lmao (it could also be Tim is out of ideas, which is most likely the case)

Please feel free to word vomit on me always, I live for it.

Receiving this ask has actually prompted me to share some thoughts that I’ve held back from sharing, just because I wasn’t sure if it was worth it to throw more speculation into the void. But this message is so lovely, and I agree with it so much and so… okay I will share some of my mixed bag of thoughts about this whole situation.

Firstly, I adore Tarlos and LS (even if I don’t post about either much), TK is my baby, and the interesting thing about them for me is that I wound up caring for them more AFTER they broke up and got back together. If Buck and Tommy’s story is formatted as a rom-com, TK and Carlos are a tragicomedy. TK, the heartbroken recovering addict thrust into an entirely new city, a new career, who doesn’t want to let himself get too close to something good because he is misery incarnate. Carlos, the hopeful hopeless romantic who sees TK and doesn’t see something that needs fixing, but someone who his love could help heal. It’s such a gorgeous story, and the symmetry of both characters shockingly losing a parent in a tragic way is painfully beautiful. I LOVE their love story.

That brings me to Oliver and Tim’s comments. Throughout the Buck and Tommy relationship, my belief that this would be Buck’s final relationship only ever wavered twice. The first time was in the immediate aftermath of their first date (I spent the whole episode thinking that Tommy was actually reintroduced to kick off the bi awakening plotline and Buck was not acquiring a boyfriend) and the second time was towards the tail end of the summer hiatus when I legitimately began to doubt Lou would want to come back given everything that transpired. Other than that, I had full faith that this was it, this was Buck getting off the “hamster wheel”—Tim’s words, not mine.

I had confidence for a few reasons. 1 – the story was always handled with care onscreen and gave us no reason to think they weren’t going to work out. 2 – the chemistry was insane, and I knew it couldn’t just be me because an entire fandom was born. Tim and tptb must have seen what we saw. 3 – the supplementary information funneled to us through articles and Tim’s social media, literally up until post-8x06 never seemed to indicate that their relationship was headed in this direction. A big part of that was the comparison to Tarlos.

In order to protect myself (should I name the list of shows, movies, couples that I’ve fixated on that wound up playing out in dissatisfying ways?), I am awfully pessimistic. The post-episode interviews, articles, + hearing a bit from LFJ and OS has me wondering if this was some mass hallucination. Did we truly cling to something good and blow it up, run with it? Was this always the plan? I’ve wondered if because S7 was so short and S8 required that other characters get the spotlight first/other stories needed to be told and wrapped, and if because of production and scheduling and whatever external reasons, did their relationship wind up having a longer life than was ever intended. Were they ever supposed to make it to six months? Were they ever supposed to make it past the fucking wedding? I have been asking myself this stuff a lot. Alternatively, did something happen that made them want to or have to part ways with LFJ? So many questions, and I’m not sure we’ll ever know.

But… then there’s the delusional side of me, and the reason I haven’t totally abandoned hope is because when I was watching 8x06 live, EVERYTHING in me told me that this is a necessary section of the rom-com formula. Even the call-backs throughout the episode made me feel like the writers are so painfully aware, and that the narrative wants these characters to be together (Miceli’s, Abby, basketball, going to the movies, calling an uber, the loft kitchen, “you’re not ready”)—the motifs were absolutely popping off. I did not think it was the end when the episode ended. I wondered when and how they would find their way back to each other to fulfill the rom-com genre, but what I did NOT expect was to open social media and see articles framing this as the end. I wasn’t surprised when I found out who wrote the articles, and listen—if they bait one side of the fandom, can’t they bait the other? I still have some hope, because at the end of the day, anything can happen with network television. Maybe this is all part of the plan, and the interviews should be taken with a grain of salt. I just don’t know.

Interviews with Tim and Oliver from day one positioned the Buck and Tommy relationship as a queer love story devoid of trauma. Okay, well… huh. From where I was sitting, there was A TON of explicitly queer trauma exposed in 8x06. Their “hurdle” is tied utterly and completely to queerness. Tommy runs because he is a gay man who doesn’t trust that his bisexual boyfriend should “settle” for him, and who would rather be alone than heartbroken, and if that truly is the last of Tommy, it has to be one of the coldest and cruelest exits we’ve ever seen on this show. Do they simply not realize how deeply traumatized both characters come off in that episode, or is it all part of the plan? If the interviews positioning this as the permanent end of bucktommy should be taken at face value, shouldn’t the other interviews that position them as a rom-com (with the formulaic third act breakup, boils and all) be taken as the truth as well? If there was some misinterpretation, why hasn’t Tim said anything—he clearly knows a lot of fans were hurt by what they watched. He must have seen the outrage—why radio silence? Did we truly blow this out of proportion? Are the wheels coming off behind the scenes? I need a tell-all at this point lol

Thank you for the lovely ask, I’ve been sitting with these thoughts all week so this was a good excuse to finally articulate them. <3

[annoyingann]

[...And the supreme god himself appeared first.]

"Pride is a damsel in distress"

(song "Thunder Bringer" – epic the musical)

Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5 (you are here), part 6

TW: mention of death, cruelty and bullying

continuation of posting in chronological order ↓

"Look me in the eyes and tell me, Captain, That you did not just sacrifice six men!" (Song "mutiny" – epic the musical)

13 years, 10 years of war and 3 years at sea. And after so much time of faithful service to the King of Ithaca, the warriors begin to doubt that their captain will not neglect their lives for the sake of returning home. 37 warriors no longer believe in their path, they just want to stay alive, and the captain is somehow too strongly attached to the idea of "home at any cost"

"Then you have forced my hand..."

"How are we supposed to trust you now?" (from "Mutiny")

Eurylochus mutinies on the ship and challenges Odysseus to battle. The captain tries to appeal to his friend for mercy and to accept: "in my place you would have done the same." However, Eurylochus refuses this statement, because every action has consequences and the captain must take responsibility for the decisions he has made.

Odysseus loses consciousness and then finds himself on a completely unfamiliar island, tied to the stone figure of Helios. In front of him sat an exhausted Eurylochus, who looked with hunger at the cows passing by. Eurylochus admits that he can no longer fight his desire. Odysseus tries to reason with his comrade, but he is no longer ready to give up the plan..

"Tell me, Odysseus, If I were to make you choose The lives of your men and crew or your own Why do I think they'd lose?" (Song "Thunder bringer" – epic the musical)

As soon as the warrior touches one of the cows with his sword, the sun suddenly fades and the sky is covered with clouds. The crew, along with the wounded captain, rushes to the ship and sails away from the island, but it is too late. By wounding Helios' cow, they brought upon themselves the curse of the gods.

...And the supreme god himself appeared first.

"... I know"

7 years later, in the palace of the King of Ithaca.

"Cause I'm stuck with your stories, But no clue who you are! And no idea if you're dead or just too far.." (song "Legendary" – epic the musical)

Another 7 years have passed. The potential prince of Ithaca walks around the castle and talks about the fate of the lost king. This year, his mentor and dear friend, the first warrior of the kingdom, will have to conduct trials for all the "worthy candidates".

Warning: from this moment begins ± the original storyline, which is similar to the musical sagas (it was written based on them), but in it the main events are changed because it is difficult for me to adjust the characters to the universe!

"Is your plan to stand around? Cause I suggest you fight back." (Song "Little Wolf" – epic the musical)

The young prince of Ithaca finds himself a victim of oppression from the "worthy". Although he has good knowledge of how to fight and battle, he has trained in this, but still the young man cannot cope with his fear and embarrassment. And the goddess of war and wisdom comes to the aid of the prince

To your attention, Isla Gale as Athena!!

I helped him fight through the war, but

"He had his demons too" (song "we'll be fine" – epic the musical)

Athena tells the young prince about her previous student, whom she abandoned 10 years ago. And even though much time has passed, she still can't let go of the thought that she left him in the middle of the sea without help... Maybe if she helps his loved ones and guides them, she can ease the burden of her conscience

[phantomnecromancer]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪Female Geto Suguru⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

2.2k words Content warning 18+, nsfw, smut, masturbation (f + f), oral (f! receiving), fingering (f! receiving) geto in this fic is a woman btw! pt2 soon Synopsis

you. In reality, Geto Suguru saw you as nothing more than a convenient tool, a pawn in her intricate plans to manipulate curses and bend them to her will. While you showered her with gratitude and adoration, she plotted and schemed behind that facade of benevolence, using your devotion to further her own dark ambitions.

Note from the author Oh my god, I'm so sorry for the delay, I completely forgot about this account. I've been really eager to write a fic inspired by a female version of Geto. It seems like there are lots of fanarts but no fics about her female version, so I decided to create my own. Like I said, English isn't my first language, so I apologize if there are any mistakes! I really plan to keep writing for Fem Geto in the future, and I even got inspired to write more about Cult Geto because there don't seem to be many out there. Anyway, enjoy, and see you in part 2!"

―Geto suguru who was banished from jujutsu high

She is the worst curse user ever existed in the ultimate millennium

―The warm lights of the temple flickered to life. It seemed that it hadn't been in place for long; rumors circulated that the owner of the old temple frequently moved their residence. No one knew why they did it or if there was any malice behind his actions. The people didn't seem to care, as long as the burdens on their shoulders, forces they couldn't comprehend, were lifted from them. Those who visited said the owner appeared to be a very sweet person, asking for nothing in return for taking away the heavy sorrows and pain they carried.

The reason for your visit was a last grasp at hope. After consulting doctor after doctor, nothing seemed to alleviate your suffering. Gradually, you began to lose your sanity, reaching a point of no return. You felt watched, attacked, and even saw things that you knew were impossible in the earthly realm. Your pain was so intense that the thought of ending your life started to seem not so terrible.

Then, amidst the small talk of the village elders  you heard about someone who, according to their words, was a god reincarnated on earth. She could lift all burdens, and her noble soul sought nothing in return. You never considered yourself a religious person; you believed it was a complete scam, a mockery of human beings to strip them of their money while maintaining a pure image in the name of a higher power. However, what did you have to lose? Your last will, crying out for a reason to live, a reason to continue existing in this earthly realm. It seemed that the location was uncertain and constantly changing, but it appeared to be on the outskirts of the village, along a road whose name you did not know.

The soles of your shoes echoed with each step as you drew closer. There was no longer any doubt; this was not the idle chatter of the old ones you had overheard a few nights ago. The temple stood before you, immaculate and serene, its presence undeniable. The fragrance of incense and sacred wood wafted through the air, enveloping you in a scent that stirred a nostalgic echo within the depths of your memory.

It was spring, the season of blossoms, and flowers adorned every corner of the sacred place, their vibrant hues adding a touch of grace to the temple's tranquility. Despite your skepticism and lack of faith in such matters, you could now understand the profound solace this sanctuary offered to its believers. The peace it bestowed upon them was almost palpable, a gentle whisper of calm in a world filled with chaos.

Now, standing before the grand wooden door, your nerves began to fray. Even in a place where the energy was supposed to be gentle and benevolent, you couldn't shake the tightness in your chest. You couldn't tell if it was due to your past calamities, that darkness that seemed to follow you everywhere, or if this place simply gave you an uneasy feeling.

As you pushed the door, the creak of the wood flooded your ears, though it was no louder than the pounding of your heart or the white noise ringing in your ears. Stepping inside, your eyes were immediately drawn to the temple's interior splendor. The walls were a rich saffron hue, and the corners were painted a beautiful chocolate color, so polished you were certain they were cleaned daily. Some walls were a deep olive, adorned with protective amulets. Before you stood a small staircase leading up to a dais with a sliding door. Your eyes wandered for a moment, your gaze fixed on the curling smoke of the incense placed on one of the shelves. It seemed there was someone there, yet your sight did not reveal them.

“Hello..?”

”―You spoke almost in a whisper, feeling like a frightened puppy with its tail between its legs. Your hands were trembling and sweaty as you tried to dry them on the fabric of your skirt.―

Moments passed in a silence so profound that the only sound was the creaking of the wood beneath your shoes. Then, the sliding door opened, revealing a female figure. She was dressed in traditional Japanese attire, a "Gojo-Kesa." The woman was quite tall, especially compared to you, the difference in height stark and almost intimidating.

Her long hair was tied in a mid-bun, so black it could easily blend with the darkness of night. Her ears were adorned with black plug expanders, adding a distinctive touch to her appearance.

Her hands were clasped together, hidden within the sleeves of her traditional attire. She walked with such elegance that it was astonishing how she made almost no sound at all. As she reached the dais, she gracefully lowered herself to the floor, one arm resting on a red bench. A smile without showing her teeth spread across her face, radiating kindness and appearing entirely devoid of any ulterior motive.

"It seems I do not recognize your face, miss. You have never been here before, have you?"

 ―said the woman. Her eyes fixed intently on you, and you could feel her gaze as if she were trying to read you completely, peering into your very soul. All the while, she maintained that smile. Despite her persistent smile, which initially seemed kind, you couldn't help but feel it was turning into something more sinister. You couldn't shake the nervousness that gripped you; you wanted to speak, but your vocal cords seemed to be playing a cruel joke on you.―

Your voice came out almost in a whisper, your head spinning and feeling how your legs gradually weakened. 

"N-no, I've never been here before," 

you felt the urge to escape, the air was thinning, and a pressure on your chest assured you it wasn't just your minor issue weighing you down.

"Headaches, dizziness, feeling watched, hallucinations, and paranoia isn’t it?" 

she said, the smile creeping never leaving her face, almost as if she were mocking you. Her purple eyes stared at you as if finding amusement in your distress.

"H-how do you know that?"  ―you stutter, your hands now clasped tightly in front of your body. ―

"Come closer to me, darling." her voice flowed like honey, contrasting with the mocking tone of her voice. Her hand gestured for you to approach her, her body still laying lazily towards the bench.

The sound of your shoes echoing on the polished wood was the only thing audible in the room. Her eyes never left yours, making her intimidating, yet her physical allure was undeniable. You had never felt physical attraction toward a woman before, especially someone who, with just a gaze, could make your stomach tighten and your head spin.

Her arm lazily lifted, as if she were swallowing something with her hand. Gradually, the heaviness that had been tormenting your shoulders began to dissipate. Your eyes widened in shock, a look of utter disbelief spreading across your face. Meanwhile, the woman's expression turned to one of satisfaction as she held what appeared to be a yellowish orange crystal ball.

"Better?" she says with a satisfied smile on her face, as if she knew and took pride in her powers. It was as if she saw you as an inferior being to her, as if you didn't matter, an empty shell.

You felt completely liberated, the weight on your shoulders finally gone, and that feeling was enough to overshadow your doubts and fear of the intimidating woman before you. 

"How..?"

――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――

―Weeks passed, and it seemed you couldn't stop wandering around the same place whenever you could. You were so grateful to that woman that you felt you owed her your life. Her kind smile always thanked you for the small gestures, or that’s what you thought. Whether bringing incense or flowers to decorate the temple. You even stayed to clean and polish those chocolate-colored wood floors you adored so much.

Geto detested you, hiding that with her usual kind smile, applying sanitizer whenever she could, when you weren't looking or after you'd left. Yet, in her own words, you were the best-behaved monkey she'd ever seen. It seemed you genuinely believed she had made that gesture to help you, to help others, and to lift that weight from their shoulders. The reality was different: absorbing curses to store them and use them to her advantage for her new world.

"Miss Geto, I brought flowers! Where should I put them?"―

You say happily.  almost adorably, holding a bouquet of lavender, Geto's favorite. Her gaze returns to you, briefly eyeing your petite figure, that fake smile without using her teeth that she usually gave you. She shifts her usual posture, spreading her arms to point with her finger at a white vase adorned with blue decorations.

Happily, you place the lavender bouquet in the vase, your smile never leaving your face. You even came often to pray, spreading gratitude to the strange woman you believed enjoyed your presence. You are so foolish, thinking she enjoyed those little conversations you had with her or thought well of you. She saw you as nothing more than a mere toy to be used, just a simple monkey and nothing more.

As you sat down to pray as usual, your knees on the floor, you cursed yourself for wearing such a short skirt. It rolled up to your thighs each time you bow your head to the ground, showing those white panties that you carefully chose every day you went to the temple, like she was going to see them. The thin fabric barely covering your puffy folds that were already soaking wet— poor baby It wasn't your fault— she just looked so pretty every time and you couldn’t resist yourself. You just wanted to catch her attention. You wanted her to see you, to know you existed. You lived for her praise and that small smile that tugged every time you remembered her favorite flower or her favorite scent.

You didn't know why you felt this way; you had never felt any physical or emotional attraction towards a woman before, but with her, it was different. You wanted her to see you, your heart pounded every time you saw her arrive or whenever her eyes lingered on you for just a moment longer. 

And for mere seconds, you felt her gaze. Your head was on the ground, hands placed in front of you, and you deliberately shifted your hips forward, causing your skirt to lift, revealing the view of soaked panties, showing the thin fabric almost completely transparent with how wet your core was. You could feel how everytime you shifted yourself to sit down the friction in between bows, leaving a wet strip of juices all over the floor. 

This action did not go unnoticed by the dark-haired woman, and for the first time, a slight smile crossed her lips. Her purple eyes carefully examined the girl's figure. Of course, she noticed your advances, every time you blushed when she looked at you for more than a few seconds, or when she gave you empty compliments but your eyes seemed to sparkle every time she said them.

I wouldn't lie to you; she didn't deny finding the power difference over you fascinating. You might even seem adorable to her in her own way. She might even consider you deserving in her new world—the only monkey she wouldn't mind having by her side.

When she saw you innocently stand up after pretending not to notice that you had done that just to get her attention, a small smile graced her lips. You innocently adjusted your skirt, and it seemed you didn't even bother to wipe that spot in the floor where your wet pussy grazed. 

As usual, you bid her farewell with an innocent smile, lifting your head to meet her gaze, hands clasped together as you bowed slightly. Your eyes eager to take in every detail of the girl, hoping for her usual smile in return.

——————————————————————————————————―――――――

—She didn't deny it; she had spent a long time doing absolutely nothing since leaving the academy. Her world was her only priority; she needed nothing else, and nothing would give her more pleasure than the outcome of a world without monkeys. However, in the darkness of her room, it seemed to be the opposite.

Hand pressed into her sensitive bud, her index finger doing circular motions as she cupped one of her breasts pinching her nipple. Her forehead glistened with sweat, her mouth slightly open, and her back slightly arched. She felt ashamed to stoop so low—how could she, a monkey, wield such power over her? Days had passed, yet she couldn't stop thinking about her. She couldn't understand if it was her lack of intimacy in these past 10 years or simply falling for her charms. It was pathetic and it made her entire worldview shift—everything she believed was right, that mental state and opinion she had taken so long to accept, reduced to a mess of moans as she put two digits into her pussy pumping in and out. She could feel her walls clench more with the thought of her tongue inside your pussy, drinking your sweet juices. Her fingers finding that sweet spot that could make you see the stars in mere seconds. Her mind raced as she remembered you bending, showing that pretty cunt of yours, only serving to feed her thoughts further.

Note author : This fanfic almost made my head explode! I'm the biggest hater when it comes to multi-part fics, but I swear I even fell asleep with the laptop on my legs. I hope to finish it soon, hopefully within this week, and not take a whole month just to complete one part.

©phantomnecromancer on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not copy, repost, modify or translate my works.

[monstermoviedean]

the rupture is both their faults, actually, and i'm going to yell about it now

here's the thing. the breakup scene in 15x03 once again starts on cas' terms, same as the argument in 15x02. dean has just gotten done wrapping up the ghost business by checking in with stevie, then he checks in with sam and tries to console him about losing rowena. then he goes to pour himself a drink, and that's when cas shows up and starts the conversation. i can't gauge his intention here, but his actions back dean into a corner. even if dean doesn't want to have this conversation for very good reasons, cas is going to make it happen.

consider that dean doesn't know what went down in the crypt. he has absolutely no clue what happened between cas and belphegor. cas has given him almost no detail about what happened. here's what dean knows at the start of this: cas killed belphegor, and the crook was destroyed. that's it. cas reveals during this conversation that it's because belphegor was lying, using them, and planning to suck up all the souls, which is why "the plan changed."

coupla things here. one. someone lying to dean, using him, and then sucking up a bunch of souls to get power and become a new god? yeah, dean has seen that before. that is beat-for-beat what cas did in season 6. i don't think that's lost on dean. i think he's remembering right then and there how he stuck up for cas then, how he refused to believe cas could have betrayed them when everyone else had given up on cas already. and how he was wrong. not to mention what followed.

that brings us to chuck. i cannot overstate the importance of the chuck reveal as context here. dean is questioning literally everything about his life. that includes cas. chuck pulling the strings could mean chuck is pulling cas' strings too. dean is wrong about this - he's being very paranoid and it's not good for him or anyone. but it also makes sense in context because the context is horror after horror after horror.

and that brings us to mary (and jack, and ketch, and rowena). are any of these deaths cas' fault? nope! but dean can trace all these deaths back to cas breaking the trust between them by not talking about his concerns about jack. dean feels that cas has broken the trust between them, and even though it's unfair to blame cas for this whole situation, it's perfectly fair for dean to feel betrayed on some level.

snapping at cas in the moment is not kind and not fair. under (relatively) normal circumstances, dean would quickly and sincerely apologize. but right now he's at his breaking point. and i can see why he's sick of extending trust and getting burned.

now cas' response. "you used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt." it's true! but cas isn't recognizing that his actions affect this trust. cas is not automatically entitled to dean's trust. trust is earned, and it needs to be reciprocal. cas also needs to trust dean, and dean is wondering if cas does trust him if he didn't trust him enough to tell him about jack. we know cas trusts dean, but dean doesn't necessarily know that, especially when his faith in everything is at an all-time low. but in spite of that, cas is placing the burden here on dean, blaming dean for not granting cas his trust and the benefit of the doubt. i don't think that's especially fair either.

then he brings up his powers failing - it's an odd segue because they haven't really talked about this. this has not been made clear to dean or to the audience. then it's about dean not talking to him. can this be chalked up to lingering resentments from season 14? maybe? because if cas is talking about trying to talk to dean over and over in season 15, we only have two examples. 15x01, dean asks if cas is okay and when cas answers, dean ends the conversation. dean starts this conversation so it's not a great example of cas "trying to talk about it." and then 15x02, where cas corners dean and starts talking - just like this conversation in 15x03.

i'm not saying that if someone talks to dean when he doesn't want to have a talk, that all bets are off and dean can do whatever he wants. nope, not at all. but it's been a pattern for the last few seasons at least that dean avoids a conversation he's not able to handle -> someone else decides they need to have the conversation -> they force dean into it -> dean either walks away, beginning this cycle over, or he expresses upset, which makes him look like the bad guy.

"you don't want to hear it" may be fair. but "you don't care" is absolutely not fair. the problem is that dean cares too much and it's choking him. he's lost almost everyone. he is not able to bear it. he's retreating because he can't bear it, and then cas is accusing him of not caring at all at the first sign of dean not bending over backwards to care for cas. (as stated above, he is actively caring for sam, and everyone else he usually would care for is dead. so this is about cas)

finally, cas leaves when dean doesn't immediately apologize and talk to him and say he trusts and believes in him. cas turns and walks away. he has every right to do that, but he is an independent person with autonomy and he is making this choice. dean contributed to cas making this choice, but he's not solely responsible for it.

let's say their relationship is a bridge over a chasm. this is not a case of dean burning the bridge, though you can read it that way if you want to believe dean is at fault for everything. this is dean and cas retreating to their own sides of the chasm rather than meeting on the bridge. dean is very often the one to walk out on that bridge. this is one of the only times he doesn't, and cas takes that as a personal betrayal. but cas isn't walking out onto the bridge either.

[raayllum]

I think another reason the 5x01 throne room scene and Rayla's reaction to it hits so hard is because I think it's the moment she realized, truly, that Callum still loves her in just the same manner he 'used' to.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure she hoped

and she states in 4x03 her belief that "I risked losing," not that she's fully lost it / him. She still tries to flirt a tiny bit and seems sure that once they talk and he gets it all out, they can start rebuilding (Rayla being an optimist about very little but an optimist about him? It's so sweet). Which makes sense — Callum was the first kind of unconditional love she'd truly experienced and he was nothing if not persistent in bond building with her throughout all their various ups and downs on both ends. Rayla's persistent faith in him is one of the main reasons their relationship works to the degree it does (his devotion to her being the other end of things).

But I'm sure there are still moments in S4 she worried and doubted that things would ever be the same, and she was still surprised when he finally embraced her in spite of her almost dying

Yeah. But maybe, would it be okay if I stay? And we just... don't talk?

And we get to 5x01, where we know their relationship is a lot better — they're basically sharing a room, chatting regularly, finding her in his study isn't surprising ("she can go in there anytime she wants"), Callum's talking about magic, they're confiding in each other — and Rayla is still awful at asking for help, and now she's been caught in a situation that admittedly looks very bad from the outside. It's also not looking great even from the inside!

But Callum has turned his corner (thank you 4x09 "I know" scene) and he will never be turning back — and he recites love poetry that makes no sense to Opeli, but Rayla has the full context for.

And this is also why I don't think we cut back to her reaction until the final line drop (beyond it just being really effective as an emotional beat), because if it was just that he trusted her — well, "None of this matters" and "If she didn't tell me, she has a good reason" would suffice, wouldn't it? But he's not just saying that he trusts her (which she arguably knew in 4x07, since he trusted her with his fears and his safety net game plan), and they both know what he's saying in full.

And she loves him all the more for it.

[leonawriter]

The more I think about Carmen and Ayin, the more I'm like, "those two are literally absolute opposites of each other."

Carmen says that if something awful happened as a result of something she did, she'd crack and crumble and not be able to go on, and Ayin keeps going. He endures, to use a word PM likes to use.

Carmen, then, lacks the ability to Stand Up Straight by the time she is dying in the bathtub, because she has buckled under the weight of everything. We see this in the pressure everyone put on her. Ayin learns what it means to do this through his dealings with Malkuth.

Carmen lacks the Rationality to Maintain Discretion, taking all of the emotions inside of her after Enoch's death and Lisa's judgement and letting them spill out, into self-harm. Ayin goes through similar, but with Yesod's help is able to see that you need to be able to feel the despair but still keep a logical mind.

Carmen loses her belief that people can grow and the Hope to be a Better Person, as she dies and then as she spends that time as the Bucket. Ayin, however, after everything that he's done to reach the dream she always talked about, all the atrocities he committed, promises Hod - who betrayed them all and caused the Head to come down on the Outskirts lab - that they can become better people together.

Carmen, even before Lisa told her that she should have been the one to die, did not have the Fearlessness to Keep On Living. She gained the desire to live right before she was actually dead (as per Ruina's Keter Realisation), but I'd hazard that was more "desperation" than "fearlessness." Ayin, however, went from being in a state of depression so deep that he was making a long, drawn-out suicide plan (via the light), attempted suicide at least once (and remember, he was in that loop for ten thousand years, so it's absolutely correct to say he did again) and yet, he and Netzach promised each other to keep on going, with the idea of "if I can, so can you."

Carmen put her entire Meaning of Existence into the project she was working on, to save humanity - but when push came to shove, she didn't truly believe in the humans she was saving, and lost her way, and her meaning along with it, going from "saving humanity" to "have you tried distortion?" in the course of it. Ayin, however, is implied to have been like Enoch; always looking ahead, seeing that the world isn't how it should be and hoping for something better. It's strongly implied that the world of the City broke him before he met Carmen (and if not before, then in her dying), and yet with Tiphereth, he is able to find and keep an Expectation for the Meaning of Existence.

Carmen was amazing at "blowing peoples' minds" and getting them to trust her - however, how much she trusted them is in much higher doubt. She is only seen sharing her vulnerability with Ayin, and only then to make him promise to keep doing her work after she's gone. When she is at her breaking point, she loses faith in humanity itself. Ayin, however, although he loses his trust in humans to the point that he creates a machine (Angela) to help run the Facility and drives even his best friend away, connected with all of the Sephirot in a way that caused them to trust him again, especially Chesed, he had abandoned and broken the trust of. Through this, he gains Those Who are Faithful and Trustworthy.

Carmen had grand dreams of a utopia where no one had to hurt anyone else... but she herself could not be said to fit that same image, let alone "reach that place," much as Binah says in Ruina. She directly allows a child to die in her care, and the mention of "experiments" suggests that other adults already had. Ayin, however... although the methods may be questionable, he did manage to save the lives of his friends. Also importantly, is his management style; back in the Outskirts lab he would try to warn Michelle away from something she wasn't ready for, and in Lobotomy Corporation you can only get an S rank management score if you keep all of your agents alive. You are as a player rewarded for keeping agents alive. All of this put together, Gebura is the one who causes him to realise the Courage to Protect.

Carmen, in general, only ever did two things with her problems: pretended they weren't there, or ran from them. We can see this by the way that she pretends that she's so much more confident than she actually is, and the way that she hid herself away (to the point that she took her own life, without allowing herself the support of others) after one big regret too many. As the Voice, she currently can be heard to tell those who are distorting "it is awful, but none of that was your fault, you know?" - she encourages them to turn away from everything they themselves have done. Ayin, meanwhile, although he gives himself amnesia for the time loops... this is for the specific reason of being able to come to a point where he can face his past, as the Memory Synchronisation is, y'know, a thing. The important thing I think isn't that he would always forget, but that he would also always remember. And by remembering, he learns, and by learning, he can move on, becoming the Eye Embracing the Past, Building the Future.

Carmen, it can easily be said, could not face her own fears. This is a simple thing to state, because she says so herself in that field - that she's got a weak heart, like all humans. She also encourages others to be the same way now, telling them that it's fine to give in and give up as long as it makes them feel better, while at the same time turning a blind eye to the atrocities they commit. Ayin was once the same. Binah outright tells him so, that she saw him as the same kind of person as her, able to commit atrocities while not accepting his own anxieties and fear. However, through the loops and through facing Binah herself, he grows to be able to do so, becoming the Eye Facing the Fear, Breaking the Cycle.

Basically - Carmen is stuck in a place of not facing herself, while Ayin takes himself and quite literally forces himself to do so. Carmen stagnates, while Ayin outgrows her.

Also, while Carmen becomes a "beautiful voice, that everyone listens to," Ayin... in Lobotomy Corporation at least, doesn't truly get to say anything for himself, and what is said is said by his reflections, not himself. He has the fewest spoken (voiced) lines of any major character, too.

Which is fascinating, isn't it?

[xxspringmelodyxx]

Regrets~

Choso x reader (Hella Angst)

I’m in literal tears. Gege, literally sleep with one eye open tonight >:((((

Warnings: Contains spoilers, sad, sad, and sad

________________________

You strolled through the bustling city streets, reveling in the lively atmosphere as you searched for the perfect gift.

"So, when are you finally going to tell him? I’m losing my patience over here!" Yuki's voice burst through the phone, brimming with excitement at the prospect of you confessing your deep love.

"Easy, Yuki. I'll wait until he gets back from his trip. I can't believe you talked me into this. I just hope everything goes as planned," you replied, trying to mask the nerves creeping in.

”Oh come on now, n/n! If Choso doesn’t feel the same way about you, then I’ve been living a whole lie. I mean just looking at him whenever you are around makes me almost burst out laughing because of how red he gets. Or when he can barely come up with a proper sentence to say because he can’t think straight when he is around you. Or the fact that he gets so pissed when he sees you going on a mission with another man besides him. Or when-“

"Alright, alright, I hear you, Yuki," you interrupted, unable to suppress a laugh at her fervor. Despite her convincing arguments, doubt lingered in your mind.

"I guess it's just my own insecurities speaking."

"Tell those insecurities to fuck right off! You and Choso are a match made in heaven. If you two don't end up together, I'll lose faith in love altogether," Yuki retorted, her sarcasm laced with sincerity, eliciting a giggle from you.

"I just hope he comes back soon. It's been two weeks since we last spoke, and I'm getting restless. I miss hearing his voice and gazing into his eyes," you confessed.

"Aww, you're melting my heart over here!" Yuki cooed affectionately.

Yuki’s affectionate response brought a faint smile to your lips, momentarily lifting the heavy weight of sorrow from your heart.

“I’m serious, Y/N,” she continued, her tone soft yet playful. “You two are like characters straight out of a romance novel. It’s about time you two realize it.”

You chuckled lightly, grateful for Yuki’s unwavering optimism even in the face of your own doubts.

“Thanks, Yuki,” you replied, your voice tinged with a hint of warmth. “I needed that.”

“No problem, n/n,” Yuki replied, her voice filled with genuine care. “Just remember, whenever you’re ready to tell Choso how you feel, I’ll be here to cheer you on.”

You smiled, thanking her for always making you feel better.

As you continued to talk to her about the whole situation, you kept your eyes peeled for the perfect gift that would capture the essence of your love for Choso. And then, just when you least expected it, you stumbled upon it: a beautiful, handcrafted necklace adorned with a delicate silver charm. It was just the thing you were looking for.

’Oh, I gotta go girl. I think I just found the perfect gift for Choso.” You spoke.

Yuki’s voice echoed with anticipation as she bid you farewell. “Ooh, I can’t wait to hear all about it later! And remember, if you need any last-minute pep talks, I’m just a phone call away.”

You ended the call as you two said your goodbyes, quickly walking into the store that caught your attention.

You walked right up to where the necklace was and held it in your hand, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“He will love this.”

You made your way to the cashier, excitement coursing through your veins. This gift, you knew, would convey everything you had been unable to put into words. The depth of your love, the sincerity of your affection, and the promise of a future filled with endless possibilities.

“Oh goodness, this is a gorgeous piece. Is It for you or a lucky someone?” The cashier asked, her eyes scanning the necklace.

”It’s for someone. I hope he likes it.”

”Oh honey, I’m sure he will just love it. It is absolutely gorgeous.” She said, scanning the price tag.

”I thought so too. The perfect gift for the perfect man.” You said, feeling a pleasant warmth spread throughout your chest.

”Careful dear, keep thinking about that special boy and soon the blood will rush to your face so soon you’ll pass out.” She teased.

I looked away, a smile creeping up on my face again as I listened to her.

”Here you are, dear. I hope whoever this fine young man is realizes just how lucky he is to have someone like you.” She spoke with endearment.

I thanked her and paid for the necklace, leaving the store.

As you made your way home, the thought of finally being able to express your feelings to Choso filled you with a sense of joy and anticipation.

As you entered your apartment, the familiar warmth of home enveloped you, soothing the lingering traces of doubt and uncertainty that had clouded your mind. Settling onto the couch, you retrieved the necklace from your pocket, cradling it with your hands as you admired its delicate craftsmanship.

You decided to turn on a movie to allow time to pass, still holding onto the necklace.

—

As the movie played in the background, you found yourself lost in thought. With each passing scene, memories of Choso flooded your mind, each one a sweet, sweet reminder of the love you held for him.

Lost in the timeless embrace of cinematic magic, your fingers danced delicately over the intricate patterns of the necklace, their movements a silent testament to the depths of your affection. With each stroke, you traced the curves and contours of the pendant, weaving a tapestry of longing and devotion that shimmered in the soft glow of the room.

As the hours slipped by unnoticed, the vibrant hues of the daytime sky gradually gave way to the velvety darkness of night. A symphony of stars adorned the heavens, their celestial glow painting a breathtaking tableau against the midnight canvas. The moon, a luminous beacon of silver, cast its gentle radiance over the sleeping city below, bathing it in a soft, ethereal light.

Beneath the canopy of stars, you stepped out onto the balcony, the cool night air caressing your skin like a gentle embrace. The city below lay bathed in the soft glow of streetlights, its bustling energy now hushed in the tranquil embrace of the night.

As you stood there, enveloped in the serenity of the nocturnal world, a sense of peace washed over you, soothing the tumultuous currents of your heart. With each breath, you felt a profound connection to the universe, a reminder of the boundless beauty that surrounded you.

Leaning against the balcony railing, you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to be swept away by the symphony of night sounds—the distant hum of traffic, the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze, the occasional chirp of a cricket. In this moment of quiet contemplation, you felt a deep sense of gratitude for the simple pleasures that life had to offer.

As the night wore on, a gentle weariness settled over you, a welcome invitation to the realm of dreams. With a contented sigh, you bid farewell to the stars above, their twinkling light a silent companion in the vast expanse of the night sky.

As you retreated indoors, the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the window cast a serene ambiance over the room, painting everything in a gentle luminescence. With each step towards your bed, you felt the weight of the day's emotions lifting, replaced by a tranquil sense of calm.

Nestling under the covers, you cradled the necklace in your hands, its delicate contours glinting softly in the ambient light. As you closed your eyes, the soft rustle of the night breeze outside whispered secrets of love and longing, a soothing lullaby that wrapped around you like a warm embrace.

With the necklace nestled beside you, its presence a silent promise of the love that lay within your heart, you surrendered to the embrace of sleep.

—

As the morning unfolded, dark clouds hung low in the sky, casting a pall over the city. The sound of rain tapping against the window panes filled the air, a somber melody that matched the heaviness in your heart.

Groggily, you reached for your phone, the soft glow of the screen illuminating the dimly lit room. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw a flurry of missed calls and messages from Yuki, her name flashing urgently on the screen.

With a sense of growing unease, you opened the messages, each one a testament to Yuki’s increasing concern:

”Y/n, I’m so sorry.”

“Y/N, are you okay? I’ve been trying to reach you all morning”

“Please, answer me. Something’s wrong.”

“I’m coming over. If you’re not okay, I need to be there for you.”

Confusion and worry knotted in your stomach as you quickly dialed Yuki’s number, the anticipation building with each ring.

“Y/N, thank goodness you called back,” Yuki’s voice trembled with urgency on the other end of the line.

”Yuki, what’s wrong? Is everything alright?” You asked, confused as to whats got her all riled up

“You mean…you don’t know?” She asked, her voice trembling and breaking.

”Know what? What’s going on, Yuki?” You asked, growing anxious as she kept quiet.

”You need to turn on the news.” She spoke quietly, almost as if she was trying to hold back a sob.

With a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, you made your way to the living room, the rain drumming a mournful beat against the windows. Fumbling for the remote, you switched on the television, your heart pounding in your chest.

And then, as the screen flickered to life, your worst fears were confirmed. The news anchor’s voice filled the room, delivering the devastating news that Choso, the man you loved, was dead.

Shock reverberated through you, a numbness settling over your senses as you struggled to comprehend the enormity of the loss. Tears blurred your vision as you read the scrolling ticker at the bottom of the screen, each word a dagger to your shattered heart.

In that moment of agonizing despair, you clung to your phone like a lifeline, scrolling through the messages from Yuki once more. Each one a plea for reassurance, a desperate attempt to reach out across the void of grief and offer solace in the face of overwhelming sorrow.

And as you stood there, enveloped in the suffocating grip of loss, all you could do was hold onto the memories of the love you shared, a fragile beacon of light in the darkness of despair.

As the news sank in, a gut-wrenching wave of disbelief and anguish washed over you, threatening to engulf you in its relentless grip. “No… no, no, no, NO!!!” you screamed out, the words torn from the depths of your soul as if pleading with the universe to undo the cruel twist of fate.

With trembling hands, you sank to the ground, the weight of the news bearing down on you like a crushing weight. Tears streamed down your cheeks unchecked, each sob echoing the shattered pieces of your heart.

In that moment of raw, unfiltered agony, time seemed to stand still, the world around you fading into a haze of pain and despair. The reality of Choso’s absence loomed over you like a dark specter, a gaping void where once there had been love and laughter.

Clutching your phone to your chest, you curled into yourself, the ache of loss consuming you from the inside out. How could this be happening? How could the man you loved, the man you had dared to hope for a future with, be taken from you so suddenly, so senselessly?

You realized with a pang of despair that you would never get the chance to finally confess to Choso how much you loved him. The words you had longed to speak, the feelings you had kept hidden deep within your heart, now seemed like a cruel joke, forever out of reach. How could you have been so foolish, so blind to the fleeting nature of time? How could you have let fear and doubt rob you of the chance to lay bare your soul to the one person who mattered most?

Tears mingled with raindrops as you lay there, consumed by a maelstrom of grief and regret. The ache of loss tore at your insides, a relentless reminder of all that had been lost in the blink of an eye.

—

Weeks had passed since the day Choso had left this world, yet the pain of his absence remained as raw and agonizing as ever. With each passing day, the ache in your heart had only grown more pronounced, a relentless reminder of all that had been lost.

Now, as you stood before his gravestone, the weight of grief bore down on you like a burden too heavy to bear. Raindrops fell softly from the sky, mingling with the tears that streamed down your cheeks, a testament to the depths of your sorrow.

Clutching the necklace in your hand, you knelt before the stone marker, the cold, unforgiving earth pressing against your knees. The words engraved upon the marble surface blurred in your vision, obscured by the haze of tears that clouded your sight.

"I'm so sorry, Choso," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "I'm sorry that I never got the chance to tell you how much you meant to me, how much I loved you."

The words spilled from your lips in a torrent of anguish, each syllable heavy with regret and longing. With trembling hands, you reached out to trace the letters of his name, as if by touching them, you could somehow bring him back to life.

"I miss you," you confessed, your voice barely more than a whisper against the backdrop of the falling rain. "Every day, every moment, I miss you more than words can say. I wish I could turn back time, to tell you how much you meant to me, to hold you in my arms just one more time."

But the only response that greeted your words was the echo of your own sorrow, the silence of the graveyard offering no solace, no comfort in the face of your overwhelming grief.

With a heavy heart, you placed the necklace atop the gravestone, a small offering of love and remembrance in the vast expanse of loss.

Your trembling hands traced the outline of his gravestone, fingers tracing the engraved letters that spelled out his name. Each stroke was a tender caress, a silent tribute to the man you had loved so deeply.

Leaning forward, you pressed your lips to the cool marble surface, a bittersweet kiss that spoke volumes of the love that still burned within your heart. You, lost in a sea of grief and regret, felt the gentle touch of familiar hands on your shoulders, pulling you back to the present moment. Yuki and Yuuji stood beside you, their presence a source of solace in the midst of your despair.

“I just wish I could have told him. So that he at least knows…” you whispered, your voice trembling with the weight of unspoken words and unshed tears. The anguish in your heart spilled over, manifesting in sobs that wracked your body with each passing moment.

“He knows,” Yuki’s voice was soft yet resolute, her words a balm to your wounded soul. “Choso knew, Y/N. He knew how much you loved him, even if the words were never spoken.”

Her words hung in the air, a gentle reminder that love transcended the boundaries of time and space, reaching beyond the realm of the living to touch the hearts of those who had passed on. And in that moment, as the rain continued to fall, washing away the traces of sorrow that clung to your skin, you felt a glimmer of peace take root within you.

With a shaky breath, you nodded in acknowledgment, the weight of your grief still heavy upon your shoulders but somehow more bearable in the presence of those who cared for you. And as you stood there, surrounded by the love and support of your friends, you knew that even in death, Choso’s spirit would continue to watch over you, a guardian angel guiding you through the darkest of nights.

And as you stood there, your tears mingling with the rain that fell from the heavens above, you made a solemn vow to carry Choso's memory with you always, to honor his life with every breath you took.

For even in death, his spirit would live on in the love that had bound you together, a love that transcended the boundaries of time and space, a love that would endure for all eternity.

——————————————————————

[echantedtoon]

What If: Kokushibo Edition

DISCLAIMER: THIS WORK IS IN ABSOLUTELY NO WAY CANNON TO DEMON BRIDE AND IS NOT AN ENDING. IT IS A WHAT IF IDEA THAT I THOUGHT WOULD BE FUN TO WRITE. PLEASE KEEP THAT IN MIND GOING FORWARD.

WARNINGS: One innuendo and mentions of pregnancy.

The world was a quiet place today. Just alone with his thoughts and own work. 

Widdle. Widdle. Widdle.

It was a rarity that nothing was planned for him today. No work. No responsibilities. No training. No plans. Just whatever he wanted to do today. Which again was rare but not unwelcome. He never did like being left unoccupied for too long however so it would be the perfect time to get the project he wanted to do done. Everything shall go precisely as planned.

Widdle. Widdle. Widdle.

No sounds except for the light bird chiros and the small movements of his hand held knife against the wood. The calloused hands continued their own work pushing the carving tool against the wood slicing off piece after piece little by little with precise knowing strokes. The small pieces falling onto his lap or bouncing off his legs to join the others on the floor. 

Widdle. Widdle-

...Ah. There she was.

STOMP. STOMP. STOMP. STOMP.

He didn't even bother looking up as the angry footsteps approached. He knew she was coming towards him long before he even heard her. The force behind the angry footfalls for told the approaching woman's anger but again he was expecting that from the start. He felt no fear as the floor thuds stopped directly behind him. Not even bothering to stop his woodworking.

"REALLY!?"

"You have arrived...I was honestly expecting you..sooner." A hand brought up the tiny wooden piece to a maw holding a jawful of fangs. A breath blowing away any small pieces of wood splinters.

"Do you want to explain a few things going on?"

He finally bothered to turn his head slightly. Standing above him was a woman. Purple eyes staring down at him. Her pretty face brought a fragrance of hydrangeas with her, a familiar scent that calmed his senses. Her expression was one of annoyance which he had been expecting. 

"What ever do you mean?"

"Oh don't play games with me." She frowned more before pointing at his face. "I wanted something specific from the kitchen for breakfast today and I was denied but I was given options. Options from a diet plan I was told YOU put into place for me."

"Oh yes. That. ...You are correct." His eyes turned back to the work in his hands-

"Kokushibo, don't you ignore me!" You marched around to stand in front of him as he continued working on whatever it is he was doing. "That's not the only thing you've decided to go out and do! I also found out from Akaza that you ordered him to stop training me for the next ten months!"

"Correct...Hand to hand combat is dangerous...for your body right now...It could put stress on you...or you could get struck in the stomach ...and I won't allow that."

"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!! I also found out that you placed Kaigaku in charge of guarding me?!"

"I'd prefer you to have ..extra protection during this time."

"You scheduled me a doctor appointment for tomorrow without asking me?!"

"I need to be able to.. monitor your health."

"You assigned nannies to 'help me with the boy's?!"

"You'll need the extra help for them."

"...When did you stop trusting me?" You gave a desperate ask making the top pair of eyes turn to you but he didn't pause his work. "If I gave you a reason to doubt I can take care of myself let alone the boys then just...Tell me what I did wrong?" Your arms flopped to your sides. "What did I do to make you lose faith in me?"

"Nothing...You haven't done anything...to make me have that opinion of you... You're capable."

You again held your arms up with a major look of disbelief. "Then why all the sudden changes without telling me first? I'm not hurt and you just said I'm capable. If you think I'm pushing myself too hard, I'll try to fix it but you have to tell me why first."

"Hm... You're certain?"

"You're my husband. I didn't think there'd be secrets between us. Koku..." Hands  reached out to grab his cheeks making him pause his work and turn up to your worried look. "You promised me no secrets or lies on your vows. Honor that."

There was was from him before he sighed through his nose. "As you wish..You would have found out...from the doctor tomorrow...anyways."

"Find out what?"

"You're two weeks pregnant."

Silence. He stared as your body just... paused as if you were in a picture perfectly frozen in time. Your eyes staring ahead of you at him. Mouth closed in a small line. His bottom eyes peeked down as he continued his woodworking unsurprised by your reaction. There was silence still as you remained still... eventually you opened your mouth slightly-

"Twins", he answered matter of factly, "Both male."

You just sat there..your brain spaced out and there was a ringing in your ears as you blanked.  Your thousand mile stare finally slowly refocused. You only managed to yell out one word. "WHAT?!"

"You're two weeks pregnant..Twin boys. I just...told you that."

"I-I JUST-...YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Your hands pulled back as your eyes shot down to your middle. It didn't even look like anything changed. You didn't even feel any different or...or... ANYTHING!!! "YOU'VE GOT TO BE JOKING WITH ME?!"

"I never jest... Especially with something so serious."

"HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW!? IM SUPPOSEDLY PREGNANT AND I DON'T LOOK ANY DIFFERENT THAN I DID LAST MONTH!!"

"I have explained how my transparent world...vision works...Have I not?" You froze as finally all his eyes looked at you seriously. Oh..You forgot about that. "I took the proper... precautions early..to avoid any headaches or danger...later. I was serious when I said...I would take care of my remaining..family."

You only stared.. before you slowly looked back to your middle and a hand shakily pressed against your stomach...still didn't feel any different. "...How did this even happen?"

"Three weeks ago...we celebrated our anniversary by-"

A hand quickly pressed against his mouth as your face went beat red. "IT W-WAS A RETORICAL QUESTION!!"

He only made your face burnt hotter by reaching up to hold the hand over his face and press a kiss to the palm. "Yes ...But the end results are welcome."

You sputtered like a fish before just groaning and resting on your knees. For a moment neither person spoke as you rubbed your face and he held your hand to his cheek. "..... How long have you known?"

"Three days...I had a hunch and confirmed...it. I figured you didn't know and wanted...to make preparations first."

"Does anyone ELSE know?!"

"Only you and I...I've told no one else yet."

That relieved you at least but then a wave of dread hit you as a thought popped up. "Oh good gods...What are the boys going to think?"

"Our children will no doubt be quite...happy... Yuichiro however will be stubborn in the beginning...but with time he will come..to terms."

Rui and Muichiro would be excited for this especially with Rui bouncing off the walls becoming a big brother...But..You gave him a slightly worried look with narrowed eyes. He seemed to instantly know what you were thinking about.

"I will not favor these children...over the previous three," he spoke with assurance. "As someone who has..had a childhood plagued with... segregation I will not subject any..of them to that."

You sighed in relief instantly turning your head down..but paused noticing something that you didn't see before. There was four cylinder shaped pieces of carved wood on the opposite side of Kokushibo's lap. All perfectly aligned in a row. Except these weren't just ordinary sticks. The tops were widdled to a semi point and there was a series of holes carved in a series down their spines revealing the hollowed insides. You stared at them before turning your head and finding a dagger and the makings of a fifth hollowed stick in his lap. Slowly you blinked before pointing them out.

"Kokushibo. Are you making...flutes?"

"Yes. I am...nearly finished with the set."

You looked back to him bewildered. "Why?"

"Gifts for our children." He finally released your hand to reach down and remove the dagger and almost finished flute From his lap despite your surprised look. "I had one...as a child..I intend to pass that tradition on."

You stared at him more .. before smiling. "Aw.~ Really? That's so sweet of you...But all of this aside.." You gave him a stern look. "I'm going to continue what I've been doing so far."

"You will not stress..your body."

You made to stand pulling one knee up. "I won't stress myself out but you can't just stop me-" A hand grabbed your wrist and yanked before you could even blink. "EEP!!"

You gasped out as you were pulled forward, and in a second you found yourself placed in Kokushibo's lap with his strong arms cradling you to his chest. The redness in your cheeks was back instantly as he chuckled.

"Just did."

"Y-YOU CHEATED!!" You casted a glare up at his smile. "I wish you would S-S-Stop doing things without telling me you know!"

"Agreed. ...That is why I did not make... arrangements for a nursery yet..That will be a joint decision."

"Well thank you for that." You deadpanned looked at him despite the red in your face and crossed your arms. "Is there anything else you did I should know about?"

"I have thought of names ...for the boys." You blinked and would've shouted at him again if he didn't suddenly gently touch the right side of your stomach staring at it as if he could see something you couldn't. You blinked at jumped slightly at the gentle touch. "Michi." You blinked as his hand moved to the other side. "Yori."

"Michi and...Yori?" Your rose a brow before looking back at him. "You named one of our sons after you and didn't ask me first? I don't dislike it but you could've at least.." You paused..."Wait.." You narrowed your eyes. "Yori??...As in-"

"Do not say it-"

"Yorichii." 

Kokushibo visibly paused...and his eyes looked away. ".... Perhaps we should rethink the names-"

"Nope! Too late!" You smirked. "Mama's decided she likes those names. Their nicknames can be Mi-Mi and Yor-Yor.~"

"Stop."

"Aw. Don't tell me Mi-Mi senior is mad. I think it's cute.~"

"I regret not waiting."

[lizajane2]

Naruto: The Will of Fire - I have seen this movie so many times. And I never get tired of it.

How did Sai survive that fall? You know what, it's anime I'm not even gonna question it. I say that even though I have the same thought every time I see it.

Kakashi: "We need to continue the mission." Darlin, i love you, but you constantly preach about never leaving someone behind. MAYBE YOU SHOULD PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH, IDIOT!!

Poor Sai. Naruto drags him into everything. lol.

Hiruko is annoying from the get-go. Like "a perfect, immortal ninja" boy, you need to go back to whatever dark, depressing hole you crawled out of.

Not Naruto falling asleep after Hiruko threatening to throw the world into war. He's completely unbothered. Lmao.

I really hate that the animators didn't include bookshelves in Kakashi's apartment. That man reads more than just porn.

Tsunade: "Kakashi are you saying you want me to go down in history as the Hokage who sacrificed her subordinate in order to protect the village?"

Kakashi: "Yes, I do."

My reaction to this every time:

Again, further proving my point that he sees no value in his life whatsoever. If I could, I'd jump through that screen and slap him. And here's another problem I have with that, Kakashi really thought that Naruto would just sit back and let him sacrifice himself. What? ARE YOU STUPID?! DID YOU JUST FORGET WHAT YOU TAUGHT THEM?!

Naruto: "This time, no doubt, I'll protect him." Kakashi needs more of that in his life rather than going on a suicide mission. Which he's done repeatedly, by the way.

Tsunade: "What are those idiots doing?" Uh, to save someone from themselves and keep them from being an absolute martyr.

And Shikamaru kinda pisses me off a little bit in this movie. "I want to save Kakashi-sensei too, but I can't sacrifice everyone in the village for that." I'm sorry that's not... why are you talking like giving up Kakashi's life to the enemy is the only option here? I see the logic in Kakashi's plan, but this is NARUTO we're talking about. Have faith in him if anything else.

LMFAO! Sai really only acted because of what a book told him to do. I love him so much!!

Shino was perfection. "Do you think that's all I have?" Where's his crown at? He's an absolute king.

I'm even more surprised that Gaara tried to stop Naruto. He should know better than anyone that Naruto has always cared about others and would never sacrifice the life of anyone in the village to save it. The only one who had faith in Naruto was Jiraiya.

"That would go against Kakashi's wishes." No, Kakashi is an idiot who feels guilt-ridden and is trying to make up for his mistakes. Nothing more.

Gaara: "I won't be swayed by your ideals" *a minute later*

Shikamaru: "I'll stop Naruto. Even if I have to kill him." See, now that's where he loses me entirely. That's where his beliefs become moot. He's being incredibly ridiculous and narrow-minded at this point.

Hiruko's outfit in this movie reminds me of a straitjacket. He should be in one, given how insane he is.

Kakashi: "What the hell are you doing here, Naruto?" Oh, you know, out for a walk... HE'S THERE TO SAVE YOUR ASS FROM YOUR OWN STUPIDITY!! WHY DO YOU THINK HE'S THERE?!

See, no, it just looks wrong when someone else uses Chidori. It's gross even (this excludes Sasuke).

Kakashi: "I'm the loser here." Ya, think? Such a stupid, lovable man.

"I knew it. You're just like him." TALKING ABOUT OBITO! Literally crying, screaming, and throwing up.

I love this movie. Never get tired of it.

[coraniaid]

I remember reading a good post on here a year or two -- which I'm afraid I've been unable to track down again -- which pointed out that the Buffy writers' retroactive creation of a central coordinating "Watcher's Council" in Season 3 makes the fact Kendra wasn't expecting to meet Buffy when she visited Sunnydale in Season 2 rather strange. Surely Giles would have been sending in reports about Buffy's vampire-slaying to the Council, and surely the Council would have passed these on to Kendra's Watcher when he became worried that something bad was about to happen in Sunnydale. The post suggested as an explanation the theory that, after Buffy died and Kendra was activated as a Slayer, the Council just assumed Giles was coping really badly with losing his Slayer and dismissed all of his follow-up reports about her out of hand as a sad delusional fantasy.

In the same spirit, I'd like to propose that the fact Faith clearly is expecting to meet Buffy when she arrives in Sunnydale in Season 3 suggests that, inverting the pattern above, Giles has been lying to the Council about Buffy all summer and pretending that she's still in town doing her duty as a Slayer (and that he isn't spending all his time flying around the country desperately trying to find her).

This gets a bit long, but bear with me.

Faith knows about Buffy and she's heard at least a few stories about her (she calls her "infamous" and asks: "so, B, did you really use a rocket launcher one time?"). Faith can only have heard about past Slayers from her Watcher, who must ultimately (indirectly) have heard any details about Buffy through Giles sending reports back to the Council.

But Faith isn't just aware of Buffy as some abstract former Slayer. She comes to Sunnydale looking for her ("you're ... uh, Buffy, right? [...] I figured this was my chance to meet [you]") and, I suspect, deliberately arranged her fight with a vampire at the Bronze to make this happen (in particular she only seems to start fighting back once she has an audience...). Why didn't she head to Jamacia in search of Kendra? Well, clearly her Watcher must have told her that Buffy Summers was alive and that it was Kendra's death, not Buffy's, that had led to her being called. (Clutching at straws, but if you go back and watch the episode, Faith does nod slightly when Cordelia talks about Kendra dying; maybe her Watcher told her a bit about Kendra too?)

But how could Faith's Watcher (or anybody else), knowing that Faith has just been called as a Slayer, be sure which of the two previously alive Slayers had just died? (The show later retcons that only Kendra's death would have called a new Slayer, and Buffy's wouldn't, but I don't believe the writers had decided this was the plan before the end of Season 5's The Gift. The Mayor doesn't seem to think this is how it works, for example, and there are some things the writers said at the time that seem to rule it out too. But even if that was always what would have happened, if two Slayers at a time is unprecedented, as the show suggests, how could the Council be sure?)

The simplest answer must be that somebody told them that Kendra died. "Somebody" being, of course, Giles. But when did he tell them? The earliest he could have done it was at the end of the Becoming two-parter (Kendra dies in part one, but Giles is a prisoner for most of the following episode and I doubt Angel was letting him mail postcards back to England).

But the end of Becoming is also the point where Buffy leaves town and goes into hiding for months. Any report that Giles sent the Council from this point should have mentioned this, surely? The Council have all sorts of resources that they could have used to find her. It didn't have to be just Giles himself haring off after every false lead. But apparently, it was.

So, I think Giles wrote to the Council after Kendra died to let Sam Zabuto know and (whether actively or through omission) just ... let them think Buffy was still in Sunnydale. And then when it was time to send his next report in, he just ... kept pretending Buffy was still in town. Once he failed to tell them she was gone, he could hardly admit that she'd actually vanished weeks ago, could he? The Council generally have a pretty hands-off management style, but I don't think they'd have kept paying him if they realized he didn't actually know where his Slayer was or what she was up to. They might have decided earlier than in canon that he wasn't up to the job and needed to be replaced. Or even that this technically made Buffy a "rogue Slayer" who was refusing to follow her Watcher's orders. I think it makes sense he wouldn't tell them.

Which is why, over the summer, Faith's Watcher was telling her stories about Buffy Summers, the Slayer with a rocket launcher, stories which made Faith think she was living and Slaying in Sunnydale. Even though, for most -- maybe all -- of the summer Faith spent with her first Watcher, Buffy wasn't in Sunnydale at all.

(The show's a little bit vague about how much time passes between the start of Dead Man's Party and Faith's arrival in Faith, Hope & Trick but I don't think it's credible that it was enough time for Giles to be reunited with Buffy, for him to tell the Council she was back (and them to believe him), for the Council to tell Faith's Watcher, for Faith's Watcher to tell her, for Kakistos to murder Faith's Watcher and for Faith to flee Boston and travel over 3000 miles to Sunnydale through whatever combination of hitchhiking, freighthopping and motor vehicle theft she's meant to have used to make it there (she can barely cover the costs of the cheapest motel in Sunnydale: I don't exactly think she could afford a cross-country flight). When Giles gets through to the Watcher's retreat in England, enough time has passed for them to have found out about and confirmed Faith's Watcher was dead, and that can't have been quick either: Faith wasn't exactly rushing to tell them.)

So, all in all, Faith is pretty lucky she arrived in Sunnydale when she did. A few days earlier, and she'd have missed Buffy entirely. Maybe eventually one of her attempts to stage a fight so she could look cool in front of another Slayer would lead her into meeting the Scoobies and Giles and figuring out what was going on, but maybe not. Maybe Kakistos would have caught up with her first.

And, even if it's not intended, I like the symmetry of Kendra not knowing Buffy would be in Sunnydale (because Giles truthfully told the Council she was and they didn't believe him), versus Faith going to Sunnydale specifically to meet Buffy not knowing she might not even be there (because this time the Council did believe Giles but this time he was lying to them).

[fawnymeadows]

The Faithful and the Damned *ೃ༄ - h.rj | Act One, Scene one

pairing | royal rival renjun x fem reader

genre | ANGST, fluff , suggestive

summary | Renjun and Adelaine have always been childhood sweethearts, glued to each others sides, unapologetically so, when they're finally brought together again at their destined wedding, after being forced apart due to their families' brutal rivalry. They run away, hand-in-hand to a cottage in the middle of the mythical, endearing woods, but fate plays its menacing and unethical play on them as they are both drifted apart once again.

warnings! mentions of rape, sexual violence and self-harm.

w.c | 1.5k

a/n: I decided to tweak a few things, so I reposted it - and instead of posting the whole act at once I'm just going to do a scene at a time!

Act one ❀ Scene one

The cold night air bit at her skin as they stood on the rooftop, the city sprawled beneath her like a maze of shadows and flickering lights. The stars overhead were swallowed by the fog, leaving a vast, silent blackness that seemed to press in on them from all sides. Her breath formed small clouds in the air, mingling in the chill between them ran through the plan once more, just as they had rehearsed profusely over the past months.

Renjun's fingers grazed the edge of the map, a slight tremble in his hand, betraying the calmness his voice tried to convey. “The tunnel will be sealed by dawn, but we’ll have a window of thirty minutes, maybe less.”

She nodded, her gaze fixed on the distant horizon, as if seeing something far beyond the darkened rooftops—something that belonged only to the two of them. Her lips trembled slightly, but she didn’t speak. Both of their hands tremble, not from fear, but from the weight of the plan they are about to execute. Every detail has been rehearsed, every move accounted for—but even the smallest mistake could mean disaster. 

She looks at Renjun, her eyes filled with both determination and fear. She wants to be brave, to reassure him, but the weight of their situation presses heavily on her chest. Her past, her trauma, it feels too close. The future, though uncertain, is her only chance.

“You still doubt me,” Renjun observes, his voice low and sharp. It isn’t a question but an accusation. His gaze never leaves the map.

She hesitates, her fingers brushing against a scar on her wrist. “I’m not sure we’re ready. I don’t know if I can do this.”

Renjun looks up then, his eyes softening for a fleeting moment. “We’ve rehearsed this. We’ve planned for months. You are stronger than you think. I know you are.” And in his gaze, she sees a flash of vulnerability. Despite his confidence, she can tell he’s hiding his own fear—the same fear that haunts them both. He’s terrified of losing her, terrified of failing her, and yet he pushes forward with this plan, driven by love and perhaps a need to prove his worth.

As they both pondered the future of their fates, the sharp scent of rain lingered in the air, burning Renjun's nostrils. For a fleeting moment, he was struck by a saccharine vignette—he and Adelaine lying in a field overgrown with lilies, her laughter as soft as the petals around them. He chuckled to himself, remembering her bashful attempt to gift him a necklace, one that now grew unbearably heavy in his pocket.

He then takes something out of it , revealing the rustic heart-shaped locket that Adelaine had gifted him when they were children.

"You gave me this back when we barely knew what love meant," he murmured, his fingers brushing over the delicate metal. "But I did. I knew then, just as I know now."

He steps closer, the rooftop wind tousling his dark locks as he gently lifts the chain over her head. The locket settles against her collarbone, its familiar weight pressing against her skin.

"Keep it this time," he says, fastening the clasp with careful fingers. "So you never forget—I'm with you, even when I'm not."

She stares at him, wide-eyed, lips parting as if to say something, but no words come. Instead, she presses her hand to the locket, holding it as if it were his heartbeat in the palm of her hand, pulling her lover into a suger-laced kiss, thanking him.

Mere moments later, his gaze flickers downward—catching sight of the jagged wounds lining her arms.

There, just beneath the fraying fabric, was the flash of red—a mark too dark, too stark against her pale skin to be missed. His breath hitched, and he reached out instinctively, his fingers brushing against the soft line of her arm.

She flinched, pulling her sleeve down quickly, hiding it from his gaze, but it was too late. He had already seen. His voice cracked, raw with concern. “What happened?”

She didn’t answer immediately, her eyes darting to the side, avoiding his gaze like it was a weapon. She fidgeted, the tension in her posture so palpable it made the air feel suffocating.

“It’s nothing,” she whispered, but there was a tremor in her voice that gave her away.

“Don’t lie to me,” he said, his words sharp, but his hands gentle as they reached for her, softly grabbing her chin, as he forced her to look at him. His fingers lingered on her wrist, searching for any sign of the truth she refused to speak. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Her breath caught in her throat, and the silence stretched between them both like a chasm. She clenched her fists, as if holding herself together, and for a moment, Renjun thought she might break, might shatter under the weight of what she was keeping from him.

“I—I didn’t want you to know,” she finally whispered, her voice breaking as she looked at him, her eyes full of guilt and sorrow. “It’s… It’s because of him. The guard.”

Renjun's heart stopped. “The guard?” he repeated, “What guard?” his voice low, dangerous. His mind raced, every muscle in his body tense as he absorbed her words. “What did he do to you?”

Her eyes squeezed shut, chin trembling. “He—he hurt me - raped me. He didn’t stop. And I…” She swallowed hard, the confession cutting her deep. “I couldn’t handle it anymore. The pain—” She choked on the word. “It was too much.”

Renjun felt something snap inside him—something dark, something ancient and fierce that he hadn’t realized had been waiting in the shadows. His hands clenched into fists, the urge to do something—anything—raging through him. The love he had for her, the fury and sorrow that twisted in his gut, collided. He wasn’t just angry; he was consumed.

Without a word, he turned, eyes wild, seeking the blood he would spill to make this right. He didn’t think about the consequences. He didn’t care about the risk. All he could hear was the thundering beat of his heart, drowning out everything else as he stormed down the stairs, his fury an unstoppable wave.

She didn’t try to stop him. She knew him too well.

[sa1808fi]

Ik your poll for Emmetstyle fics are over but here are a few more ideas!! Idk they've just been rotating in my brain for so long I just NEED to share em with someone

–Emmet having a family tradition that he misses doing and Lucy (and maybe even Watevra) does it with him

–In a rlly specific au where Rex was found before he became Rex, he sees the rain again for the first time and not realizing how much he missed it, convinces Lucy to go out and dance in the rain with him.

–Emmet invites Lucy on a date only to find that the place they wanted to go to was closed. Lucy suggests breaking in.

–Emmet and Lucy find a lost child who looks scarily like them. While they try to find the parents of the kid, their minds can't help but keep going back to the idea of their own child

(they drive me insane)

OOooooooooo, I love these ideas.

Yeah these are great! I would love to get round to writing these ideas once I'm done with my current fic (and other fandom WIPs).

Hold up lemme do a little something.

#1: Okay so when I think family traditions, the first thing that comes to mind for Emmet in particular is some kind of holiday tradition.

I'm not sure what in particular, but a summer retreat is what I think he would do. Like a lake cabin where he and the others can relax and have fun.

For the past few weeks, Lucy noticed the way Emmet would spend more time to himself. It wasn't... bad per say, but it was strange to see him sneak around like he was hiding something. Emmet was not a naturally secretive person. Honestly the man couldn't lie to save his life. But for some reason, whenever she would walk into a room, he would rush to hide away whatever was in front of him. A blush dusted his cheeks while he stammered out excuses. This was not normal. Lucy didn't like this sudden change in behavior. So, she was going to find out what he was hiding.

#2: Ah the In between, the place where Emmet is right at the edge of falling into the darkness and loneliness that begins the creation of Rex. Fun.

I want to say that he was losing faith in his friends at this point in time, so the moment they find him again, he will be glad to be out of Undar.

But going off my headcanons, he's still going to find out about how little effort they put into the search, and that'll just put him in a constant state of depression.

Emmet stared at the rain hitting the window, eyes following the rain droplets making their way down the glass with a strange intensity that Lucy hadn't seen since they had found him. There was a spark of wonder in his eyes that made something in Lucy's chest ache with guilt. Ever since they accidentally came across that dust planet and found him lying on the ground, lifeless. They noticed how Emmet never smiled as much as he used to, spending more time staring out into space. Sitting on the sofa, she continued to watch him discreetly, seeing how he reached out with one finger to follow a trail of water one of the droplets left on the window.

#3: YOU WANT THEM TO WHAT???? Well dang, Emmet has got to be pretty bummed out for Lucy to go straight to breaking into somewhere to make him feel better.

I guess now it's just a matter of convincing Emmet to go somewhere they're obviously not allowed. Doubt he would ever willingly break into somewhere without a good reason.

Emmet had spent the past week excitedly bouncing around their apartment, looking forward to going out on an official date in who knows how long. They'd both been so busy after armageddon and helping with all the rebuilding efforts, that they could never find any time to themselves. It was only now, when everything has more or less been running smoothly by itself that they managed to plan out a little date night for the two of them. Only, the park was fucking closed. Who closes a park?????

#4: Make them parents. That is all.

Okay I'm just fucking with you, BUT. Emmetstyle as parents does things to my brain chemistry, so that would be a fun little thing to get going.

"Emmet," Lucy said, staring at the child he was holding. "Yeahhhhh?" He replied, smiling awkwardly. The kids grip tightened onto the front of his vest at the scrutinizing gaze Lucy was giving them. "What are you holding?" "...A smoothie?" He gestured to the cup in his other hand, a strained smile stretching across his cheeks. ... Yeah, Lucy wasn't impressed with his answer.

[faithfullyfound]

A New Title

God knew and loved us before the Earth was even created. He planned for your existence, creating an Earth beautiful and perfectly made for human life. He knew your parents, siblings, and friends and He intentionally created them too.

God loves you, Jesus loves you. Is something we often say/hear as Christians. We wear our cross necklaces as a proclamation of our faith, letting the world know that God is our Father, Jesus our Savior, and the Trinity alive in us.

But if you're like me you often forget these facts. You sin and beat yourself up and instead of running towards the Father, we run away like Adam and Eve trying to cover up our sin. We replace God and the Bible with social media, bed rotting, and other idols in our lives. If you're like me you often feel so imperfect that you don't even feel like you can share the good news. You've been baptized but you question your proclamation, you doubt your salvation. But let me tell you, no matter how many times we sin, no matter what we say or think or do, we have been born anew in Jesus and NOTHING can take that away.

God knew you before the universe was formed, He loved you before your ancestors were born and Jesus loved you while He was dying in order to save you.

2 Peter 1:2-4 Peter writes: "May grace and peace be multiplied to you through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. By these he has given us very great and precious promises, so that through them you may share in the divine nature, escaping the corruption that is in the world because of evil desire."

God has given us everything to share in the divine nature with Him. The Holy Spirit lives in us, we can pray/talk to God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. We are called into God's family. We have new titles as sons and daughters of God.

I feel like someone reading this may want to get baptized or have questions about baptism. Baptism is a great way to publically announce you're faith in Jesus and I encourage those that are not baptized to look into it. I have personally thought about getting re-baptized but after prayer and consulting a pastor, I realized that I wanted to get rebaptized because I thought I had lost God's love and for my own pride. But you can never lose salvation once you have it. The greatest thing about being a Christian is that God will always pursue you. He will always be there for you even if you weren't there for Him. He will always be ready to accept you with open arms even when you run away from Him. (The Prodigal Son story is a great example of this).

Lord, I pray for those reading this that feel far from You because of their sin, or because they haven't been putting You center in their life (I'm very guilty of this) I pray that they surrender to You and Your will for them.

Lord I pray that for those who do not know You that they pray: Jesus please reveal yourself to me, I believe that I am a sinner in need of a Savior and I believe that Jesus died on the cross to save me from my sins.

[amethystina]

I am intrigued by all the wips honestly. Anything you give us will be amazing, I have no doubt.

I will ask about Thou Shalt Not Covet tho because it is completed.

And I LOVE the How To Build a Family for Dummies title lmao. If you feel that it fits the story, you don't have to change it imo 😆

Also, I have to ask about your health. I hope you're doing well these days and that you're getting better. If not, don't push yourself too hard. Take care of yourself either way 💜

No pressure x'D

Jokes aside: thank you 💜 I'm very flattered that a lot of you have such faith in me and my writing.

Thou Shalt Not Covet was something I wrote in a feverish haze about a week ago because I was high-key panicking over not having been able to draw or write in what felt like forever and my brain just latched on to that story. Which wasn't at all what I had planned but, apparently, what I needed at the time, so I try not to hold it against myself.

It's basically a fic about Ga On being a raging ball of jealousy for 10k straight.

... or gay, I guess?

So the title is a bit misleading since there is actually A LOT of coveting going on. Coveting of Yo Han, to be more specific.

Ga On you little sinner you.

And it's 10k before editing, I should say. Because since I wrote it with a fever, I'll probably have to add a bit as I edit. Understandably, I tend to miss a lot of details when I'm too feverish. The fic is set just before Kim Choong Sik's first trial, so around episode 10. Which means I'm going to have to add a couple of warnings because Yo Han does not play fair. Whenever I write Yo Han as he was during the drama I'm reminded of how far he's come in Who Holds the Devil because dear LORD is he a manipulative asshole in this one x'D

So yeah. Jealous!Ga On and a Yo Han who doesn't pull his punches. A recipe for disaster, in other words. But they work it out eventually.

Here's a snippet from the beginning of the story (though unedited so there might be changes before it's posted)

---

Ga On had never understood how utterly devastating jealousy could be until he felt it — truly felt it — for the first time.

If asked, he would have said he wasn't a jealous person. He may have felt a burst of it once or twice as he and Soo Hyun had grown up — whenever another boy had shown an interest in her — but it had faded just as quickly as it had flared up. Perhaps because, deep down, Ga On had known that Soo Hyun only had eyes for him.

There was no need for him to feel jealous since the odds of him losing Soo Hyun to another were slim.

And, in hindsight, that must have lulled Ga On into a false sense of security, giving him the impression that he wasn't the jealous type. That he was calm and rational enough not to get upset, and knew how to handle the surge of emotions that might occur. Not realizing that what he'd felt at the time wasn't jealousy — or at least not the true depth of what he was actually capable of feeling.

Ga On had underestimated his own possessiveness.

And it wasn't until he met Kang Yo Han that Ga On knew true jealousy.

His first clue that he'd misjudged himself should have been his inexplicable desire to remain within Yo Han's orbit despite having numerous reasons to stay away. All Ga On wanted was to keep pushing closer, to keep proving himself, to keep asking for that intoxicating attention that crackled like electricity down his spine. He may not want to name what he was experiencing — instinctively shying away from a revelation he knew would change his life beyond what he was ready to deal with, finding comfort in denial — but he still craved the rush it gave him. He couldn't help wanting more.

His second clue should have been his own reaction as he'd watched Jung Sun Ah fuss with Yo Han's tie during their photo shoot.

The anger Ga On had felt in that moment — curling black and vicious inside his chest — had been an overreaction of the kind that should have given him pause. But, somehow, it hadn't. Somehow, Ga On hadn't even registered it as something out of the ordinary. Some part of him had even felt justified in his anger.

As if he had a right to feel that possessive over his chief.

But the rational part of Ga On knew that he didn't. He may be sleeping in Yo Han's house and helping him with his mission to upend the world as they knew it, but they were still nothing more than coworkers.

Yo Han had never promised him anything.

---

Expect jealousy, anger, and a bit of angst. Because Ga On has abandonment issues and it actually hits pretty hard when he starts suspecting that he's not so special to Yo Han after all...

As for How to Build a Family For Dummies, the title doesn't fit the vibe AT ALL which is why I'm calling it a working title for now. It just sounds way too cute and cheerful for the actual theme and content of the story x'D But more about that in another reply since I got a specific ask about it!

Aaaaand when it comes to my health, things are really bad, unfortunately. The kind of bad I haven't had since January, with daily exhaustion fevers and lack of focus. And it's probably not going to get better anytime soon since the main cause is related to something outside of my control that will most likely take months to fix. So it's really just a matter of me trying to hold on as long as I can and, if I'm lucky, I won't break completely before I reach the other side. I guess we'll see?

Anyhow! Thank you so much for the concern and the lovely ask. You take care of yourself too 💜

WIP Tag Game

[jq37]

BRAIN BLAST: Buddy swore an oath to raise the Bad Kids if they died during the Last Stand or else he’d lose his connection to Helio. KP didn’t just steal Kristen’s diamonds, she stole BUDDY’S. Buddy COULD NOT fulfill the oath and would have been perfect to use as Lucy 2.0. If it covers the proctor too, that’s why KP was aiming for him before being spotted.

As an actual irl lawyer, I would hope that the oath would include a clause for failure due to lack as ability not counting the same as failure due to purposeful inaction. But it's Aguefort so idk how much they care about crossing their T's and dotting their I's.

I'm not sure why Buddy being cut off from Helio would be helpful to KP though. The only way I can see it being maaaybe useful involves Kristen not Lucy. If they were trying to induce a similar crisis of faith to the one that Kristen had in freshman year, maybe that would be a way to do it? But based on how Brennan was talking in the AP, it sounds like KP's plan was shoot Gavin, then kill Buddy and she only had the chance to do step 2 because Kristen spotted her.

And then I don't know what Buddy being there helps because I doubt he's a willing participant in what's going on so it's not like they briefed him like, "When we kill you, go to Sol's office and steal X item." Did they put an item on him so that a contact they have in heaven will be able to collect it when Buddy shows up there and he doesn't even know like a Celestial drug mule? Is he supposed to be some kind of vessel for a dead god? I dunno man! As I keep saying, we're really in need of that late season lore dump.