#It's actually the same work I wanted to post last year
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Again
IVE’s Jang Wonyoung x M!Reader
Note: I have resorted to the sacred prompt list by Anon again….this helped me so much frrr. Hope you will post your first ever fic here so I can tagged you!!
This concludes the unofficial (or official ig) IZ*ONE marathon. @hyeyulenjoyer hope this was a fun ride for you. And thank you everyone for enjoying these fics as well! Also appreciate IVE for paying respect to the recent tragedy. All the dumb haters who find ways to hate them again....just touch grass pls.
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(this was the perfect picture for this fic lol)
The tickets sit on your desk, undisturbed, their glossy surface catching the dim glow of your bedside lamp. You don’t even need to read the text printed on them anymore. The details are already burned into your brain.
A fan sign.
It was supposed to be special. The kind of thing you looked forward to for weeks, marked on your calendar with a little star. You were supposed to show up, tease her about messing up choreography, make her laugh in the middle of a serious performance, see that look in her eyes that was just for you.
Now, the tickets feel like a joke.
Your phone is face-down beside them, dark screen hiding the messages you haven't opened yet—the well-meaning texts from friends, the casual work notifications. All messages except from her.
Wonyoung.
You close your eyes, but it doesn't help. The memory of your last call with her is still fresh, the words playing over and over like a song stuck on repeat.
"I just don’t have time for this anymore."
"For us, you mean?"
"Mhm."
The way she said it—calm, measured, like it was just another item to tick off on her to-do list—had made something inside you crack. There had been no anger in her voice. No hesitation.
That…hurt more than anything.
You had wanted to say something, anything to make her stop. To remind her of the nights spent whispering over the phone until she fell asleep, of the rare moments when she let herself be vulnerable with you, of the way she would light up the second she saw you waiting for her backstage to take her to eat a whole cow together.
But you couldn't mutter a voice.
You had just sat there, phone pressed to your ear, fingers gripping the fabric of your hoodie so tightly it threatened to tear.
And then, just like that, she was gone.
It was three days ago.
Three days of checking your phone too often. Three days of convincing yourself you were fine. Three days of staring at these damn tickets on the desk and trying to figure out why you hadn’t just thrown them away. You should sell them. Give them to someone who’d actually enjoy them.
But something stops you.
Maybe it’s pride. Maybe it’s stubbornness. Maybe it’s the stupid, lingering part of you that refuses to admit that she’s really gone. Whatever the reason, you find yourself gripping them tighter instead of throwing them away.
You decided that you will go.
Not for her. Not to see her.
Just so you don’t have to sit in this room, drowning in thoughts of what used to be.
That’s what you tell yourself, anyway.
-
The venue is packed.
Fans shuffle forward in line, their chatter buzzing in the air like static. Excited whispers, rustling light sticks, the occasional squeal when a favourite member’s name is mentioned.
Your fingers tighten around the album in your hands. (Ironically you still hold onto her album)
This is normal for them. For the fans around you, this is just another fan sign. A chance to meet their idols, to share fleeting moments, to walk away with a signature and a memory they’ll cherish for years.
You should feel the same. Instead, you’re just… tired. Who could blame you, you’re about to come face-to-face with your ex-girlfriend.
And she has no idea you’re here.
Your grip on the album tightens as the line inches forward. The first few members greet you with polite smiles, their voices light and bubbly. You do your best to respond normally, but your mind is elsewhere, trapped in the inevitable moment that keeps creeping closer and closer.
You don’t need to look up to know she’s at the end of the table. You can feel her presence.
And then, suddenly, there’s no more time left.
Your album slides across the table. Long, slender fingers stop it in place.
There’s a small pause—so brief that no one else seems to notice—but you do. You feel it in the slight delay before she looks up, in the way her fingers tighten just a fraction around the album’s edge.
And then her eyes meet yours.
She looks the same. Flawless, as always. Every strand of hair perfectly in place, makeup soft and ethereal under the bright overhead lights. And those sparkly eyes that you often got lost in.
But…she’s not yours anymore. Not at all.
There was a flicker of something—recognition, surprise, something deeper—crosses her face. But it’s gone in an instant, replaced by a carefully neutral expression.
Her lips part slightly, but no words come out at first. Then…
“Hey.”
It’s awkward. Too awkward. You can feel the tension hanging between you, thick and suffocating.
You swallow, trying to ignore the way your chest tightens. “Hey.”
For a split second, she looks like she wants to say something else. Like she wants to break the script, ignore the rehearsed greetings and practiced smiles.
But then—
She doesn’t.
Instead, she picks up her pen, the mask slipping back into place. Her expression evens out, and in a voice so perfectly professional it almost stings, she says,
“Thanks for coming.”
Just like she would to any other fan. That made your stomach twists.
You should’ve known. Of course, she wouldn't acknowledge it. Not here. Not in front of all these people.
Still, it doesn’t make it hurt any less.
You swallow the lump in your throat. “Yeah. Would’ve been a waste of money if I didn’t.”
Something flickers across her face, but it’s gone before you can catch it. She presses her lips together, nodding slightly. “Right. Can’t have that.”
She signs her name, her handwriting as neat and practiced as always. But there’s a hesitance in the way she moves, a slight delay before she lifts the pen from the page.
When she finally pushes the album back toward you, her fingers linger just a second longer than necessary.
Then, in a voice so quiet that only you can hear…
“Take care, okay?”
She’s looking at you now. Really looking at you.
And for a moment, just one fleeting moment, she’s not the Jang Wonyoung, the IT girl, the global superstar.
She’s just…Wonyoung.
The girl who used to call you late at night just to hear your voice.
The girl who used to lace her fingers through yours under the table when no one was looking.
The girl who told you she didn’t have time for you anymore.
You stare at her.
The words stick to your throat. You genuinely don’t trust yourself to say anything.
So you just…don’t.
You just take the album, stand up, and walk away. And even as you disappear into the crowd, you can still feel her eyes on you.
-
You’ve been doing fine.
Or at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself.
It’s been a few days since the fan sign, and you’ve buried yourself in anything that keeps your mind occupied—work, games, mindless scrolling through your phone. Anything to keep yourself from replaying the look on Wonyoung’s face at the fansign. From remembering the way she hesitated before handing your album back. From thinking about the way her gaze kept flickering toward you as you walk away, as if she was looking for something.
Or someone.
But that’s not your problem anymore. You told yourself that the moment you left the venue.
Which is why, when your phone starts ringing at an ungodly hour, you almost don’t check the caller ID. Almost.
The second you see her name flashing on the screen, your stomach twists.
Jang Wonyoung.
The ringing continues, each second stretching unbearably. You should let it go. Turn off your phone. Pretend you never saw it.
But you don’t. Because deep down, you know you still want to hear her voice. So you answer.
“...Hello?”
There’s silence on the other end for a moment, followed by a soft giggle—breathy and drawn out, the kind that used to slip past her lips whenever she was feeling particularly affectionate.
"Dummmyy!" she hums, stretching your nickname like it’s some sweet, familiar melody.
“Wonyo. Are you drunk?” You sigh, ignoring the way your nickname for her easily rolled out of your tongue.
She giggles again, the sound loose and unguarded. "Mmm… maybe."
"Goddamn it." You rub your temples. "Where are you?"
A rustling noise filters through the receiver, followed by the distant hum of traffic. "Somewhere," she mumbles. "Some bar, I think. The girls took me out."
Figures.
You shift in bed, propping yourself up against the headboard. “It’s late.”
“I know,” she says, not sounding the least bit apologetic. “But I wanted to call you.”
You close your eyes, exhaling through your nose. “Why?”
She doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, there’s a soft exhale, the kind she lets out when she’s gathering her thoughts. Then, quieter…
“Because I miss you.”
Your fingers tighten around the phone.
"Don’t do that," you say quietly.
"Do what?"
"Say things you don’t mean."
Another pause. When she speaks again, her voice is steadier. "But I do mean it. I do miss you."
You swallow, trying to keep your voice steady. "Well, that’s not my problem anymore, is it?"
She goes quiet.
For a moment, all you hear is the faint sound of music in the background, the distant chatter of people. She’s probably in the back of some high-end bar or a private lounge that someone of her status often went. You can picture it too easily—her long hair falling over her shoulders, her lips painted red, the glow of the city lights reflecting in her eyes.
Your heart beat rapidly at the image.
"You came to the fansign," she says suddenly, cutting into your thoughts.
You rub at your temple. "Mhm."
"Why?"
"You already know why."
"Say it anyway."
You sigh. "Because I had the tickets. It would’ve been a waste."
She lets out a humourless laugh. "Right. Can’t have that."
Something about the way she repeats your words from that day makes your stomach twist.
There’s another long pause. Then, almost hesitantly.
"Did you feel anything?"
Your eyes widened. "Feel what?"
"When you saw me again." Her voice is quieter now. "Did you feel anything?"
Your jaw clenches. You want to lie. Want to say no, not at all. That it didn’t matter. That she doesn’t matter. But you can’t.
Because the truth is, you felt everything.
The way your heart clenched when she looked at you. The way your stomach twisted when her fingers hesitated over your name. The way your mind screamed at you to move on, to stop letting her affect you, to stop caring.
But you don’t tell her any of that.
Instead, you settle for, "Who cares anyway."
"Why not?"
"Because we’re done, Jang Wonyoung."
She sucks in a sharp breath, and for a second, you wonder if she’s about to cry.
"You-" She stops, swallows. When she speaks again, her voice is unsteady. "You didn’t even try to fight for me."
Your grip tightens around the phone, knuckles turning white. "You were the one who ended things. On the phone, may I remind you."
"I know," she whispers. "And I thought it was the right choice. But now I just—" She breaks off, voice cracking slightly. "I don’t know anymore."
You shut your eyes.
It would be so easy to give in. To tell her that you don’t know either, that you still think about her, that you still wonder if maybe—just maybe—this wasn’t supposed to end like this.
But what’s the point?
She made her choice.
And you’re tired of being the one left picking up the pieces.
"You’re drunk, Jang Wonyoung," you say, voice carefully even. "Go home and go to sleep."
"Wait—"
"Goodnight."
And then, before she can say another word, you hang up.
The silence that follows is deafening.
And yet, for the first time in days, you finally let yourself breathe.
-
Or at least, it should be.
You did the right thing, you tell yourself—cut it off before it could spiral any further. Before you let yourself believe, even for a second, that anything has changed.
But still, the weight in your chest lingers.
The room feels too quiet now, the kind of silence that presses in from all sides, making it impossible to ignore the thoughts creeping into your head. You lie back down, throwing an arm over your eyes, willing yourself to sleep.
You don’t know how much time passes before you hear it.
A knock.
You freeze.
At first, you think you’re imagining it. Sleep-deprived, emotionally drained, and still reeling from that damn phone call, your brain must be conjuring things that aren’t real. But then, the knocking got more insistent. Erratic, yet insistent.
Your brows furrow. You sit up, straining your ears.
"Who the hell…?"
It’s almost 3 AM. No one in their right mind would be visiting you at this hour. Then again, you just got a call from a drunk girl not in their right mind.
Knock, knock, knock.
It’s louder this time, clumsy and uncoordinated, like whoever’s on the other side can barely keep their balance. A sinking feeling settles in your stomach.
You begrudingly throw off your blankets and push yourself up, padding toward the door. Your hand hovers over the handle for a second before you sigh and pull it open.
And there she is.
Wonyoung.
She’s standing there in the dim, flickering hallway light, wrapped in a thin coat that does nothing to protect her from the cold. Her long hair is slightly tousled, the glossy perfection from the concert gone, strands falling loosely over her shoulders. She sways just the slightest, a delicate wobble on unsteady feet. Her lips are slightly parted, eyes glassy—not just from the alcohol but from something else. Something unreadable.
You blink.
She blinks back, like she’s just now processing that you’re standing in front of her.
Then, with absolutely no warning, she wobbles forward, collapsing against your chest.
You barely manage to catch her. “Jesus—Wonyo.” You gently hold her arms, steadying her. “What the hell are you doing here?”
"Surprise," she breathes, half-laughing, half-sniffling.
You let out a sharp breath. “Surprise? You’re seriously—” You stop yourself, jaw clenching. “How did you even get here?”
"I took a taxi," she announces, like that explains anything. Like that justifies her showing up at your door past midnight after breaking up with you.
You stare at her. “Alone?”
“Mmhmm.”
Your stomach twists. “Wonyoung, do you have any idea how dangerous that is?”
She just hums, leaning more of her weight onto you. Her forehead presses against your shoulder, and you can feel the slight tremble in her body.
You sigh, tightening your grip. “You’re freezing.”
“I was walking.”
“Walking where?”
She doesn’t answer. Instead, she tilts her head back to look at you properly. Her lips part slightly, like she’s about to say something—something serious, something she’s probably been holding in for too long. But then, she hiccups.
You close your eyes, exhaling sharply through your nose. “You’re unbelievable.”
She smiles lazily, like she didn’t just show up at your door dead drunk in the middle of the night after breaking up with you.
"You hung up on me," she murmurs.
You pull back slightly, just enough to see her properly. “Yeah. I did.”
"That was mean," she says, pouting. "I was talking."
"You were drunk."
"Still talking."
You shake your head, adjusting your grip on her. “Come on. You need water. And sleep.”
She hums, letting you guide her inside. “Only if you let me stay.”
You pause.
For a brief second, something in her voice sounds painfully sober.
But then she giggles again, burying her face in your chest, and you decide that you’ll deal with that in the morning.
For now, you just hold her close.
You sigh, pressing your lips into a thin line as you shift your grip on her. She’s barely standing at this point, practically melting into you like she has no bones in her body.
"Alright, come on," you mutter, wrapping an arm around her waist and leading her inside.
She stumbles slightly, her fingers gripping at your shirt as she giggles under her breath. "You smell nice," she mumbles.
You ignore that.
You close the door behind you with your foot, guiding her toward the couch. She flops onto it with zero resistance, her coat slipping off her shoulders. The moment she’s down, she tilts her head back, blinking up at you like she’s expecting something.
She doesn’t hesitate. Stumble inside like she belongs here.
And maybe that’s the problem. She did belong here.
And now? Now you don’t know.
Her eyes lazily drift across the apartment, lingering on the things she still remembers—the half-empty cup of coffee on your desk, the hoodie she used to steal draped over the chair, the faint indent in the couch where she used to curl up next to you.
Then she noticed your desk, the same desk where the fansign ticket sat just days ago. The same one she saw in your hands at the fansign days ago.
"You really came," she murmurs, not looking at you. "I didn’t think you actually would."
You shrug. "Like I said. Would’ve been a waste."
She flinches. Just the tiniest bit. But you catch it.
She exhales slowly, arms wrapping around herself. "It was weird."
"What was?"
"Seeing you there. But not... There, you know?" She fully looks at you now, and there's something raw in her expression. Something you’re not sure you’re ready to face. "You didn’t smile. You didn’t tease me like you usually do. You barely even looked at me."
"What did you expect?" you ask quietly. "You dumped me, Wonyoung. You can’t just expect me to act like nothing happened."
She presses her lips together, fingers gripping the hem of her sleeve. "I know."
You wait. Give her the space to say what she came here to say.
But she doesn’t. Not right away.
She defeatedly sighed, tucking her knees under her chin, looking smaller than she ever has before. She stares at her hands for a long moment before mumbling, "I don’t know why I came here."
You scoff. "Really? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you drunk-called your ex, then showed up at his apartment in the middle of the night without a plan."
She frowns. "I do have a plan."
You raise an eyebrow. "Yeah?"
She huffs. "Step one: get inside. Step two..." She falters, looking away. "...I didn’t think that far."
You shake your head. "Unbelievable."
Silence stretches between you, heavy and unspoken.
Then, barely above a whisper, "Do you hate me?"
You freeze.
Your first instinct is to say no. Because of course you don’t hate her. You never could.
But that’s not the right answer, is it?
So instead, you tell the truth.
"I don’t know," you admit. "I want to. But I can't."
She looks up at you then, eyes searching. Hopeful and afraid all at once. "I messed up, didn’t I?"
You let out a hollow laugh. "Yea. Big time."
She swallows. Lowers her gaze again. "I thought breaking up would make things easier. For you…for both of us."
"Did it?"
She shakes her head. "No."
You run a hand through your hair, exhaling. "Then why did you do it?"
"I was scared," she says, and her voice is so small, so unlike the confident idol the world knows, that it almost hurts to hear. "I thought I was being selfish, holding onto you when I barely had time to see you. I thought you deserved more than stolen moments and rushed phone calls."
Your jaw clenches. "You didn’t even ask me what I wanted."
"I know," she whispers. "I thought I was making the right choice."
You sit down across from her, legs spread, elbows on your knees. "And now?"
She meets your gaze, vulnerability laid bare. "Now... I just miss you."
Your heart leaped a mile. This was the Wonyoung you always see. Not the glamorous and model-esque Jang Wonyoung everyone always see on TV. Not the well-spoken and powerful public figure everyone knows. Just…a gentle yet bubbly girl who snuggled up next to you on the couch at the end of the day.
But your brain should tell her to leave. To sleep it off, to sober up and think about this when her mind is clearer.
Then she reaches out—just the slightest, her fingers brushing against yours on the couch. And you don’t pull away.
"You’re drunk," you remind her, though your voice lacks conviction.
She smiles faintly. "Thanks…Mr. Obvious."
Silence. Then, tentatively, "Can I sleep here tonight?"
Another hesitation.
But just like before, you already know your answer.
You sigh. Your hand intertwined with hers.
"Go get a blanket. Wonyo."
She doesn’t move right away. Just watches you, like she’s memorizing you all over again.
Then, with a small, almost relieved nod, she gets up and stumbled into your bedroom as she dragged you along—the same bedroom she used to slip into after long schedules, the same one she used to call hers.
And just like that, the distance you tried so hard to create crumbles.
Again.
#kpop#ive x male reader#ive x reader#ive wonyoung#wonyoung#wonyoung x reader#jang wonyoung#ive wonyoung x reader#ive fluff#ive angst#izone#izone wonyoung#izone x reader
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I'm a bit late but Happy Halloween! Here's some vampire Dagcup for the (blood)thirsty shippers! 🦇
#dagcup#dagur the deranged#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#httyd#rtte#how to train your dragon#race to the edge#dagcup vampire au#halloween#It's actually the same work I wanted to post last year#but I wasn't satisfied with it#so I redid it this year and finally finished it ��✌️
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And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
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Pretty sure my little man has a case of abundism affecting the marble tabby coat under all those white splotches
#random pet post#it really is a weird coat pattern#I'm never sure if I should describe him accurately as a white marked tabby or as the first impression people get of a black and white cat#love his little backward C's#I got all my other pets around the same time and they've been dying off one by one this last year or so#I'm down to just this 4yo kit and Bruiser#actually I'm not done whispering in the tags#pretty soon it's just gonna be me and this terrible little man against the world#and he gives me such weird problems you cannot even begin to imagine#took to the leash and harness without a bit of difficulty but I can't take him anywhere cuz he freaks out about people 500ft away#really difficult to find sitters for him cuz he gets so stressed about changes and waits until 3am to SCREAM#he's 17 lbs and wants to sleep on my chest 14 hours a day#took him on a work trip a week or 2 ago cuz of aforementioned petsitting troubles and some kind of wire got crossed#so instead of stress peeing in my laundry basket he now humps the nearest blanket covered limb to alert me of problems#he got scared of his water dish recently and is only now starting to get over it after 3 weeks of drama#he knocked it over last night and humped my leg while I tried to sleep to try and convey to me that he was thirsty#I'm thinking of getting a second cat and just fucking hoping that it'll be normal and maybe Prompto can target it for some of his weirdness
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My aunt decided a good way to wish me a happy birthday would be to text me a picture of me & my dead dad from my 22nd birthday.
Like yay thanks, I totally wanted to be sad and missing my dad on my birthday. I definitely wasn't trying to do the "out of sight out of mind don't think about sad things" thing to get through it without crying or anything 👍 Definitely wasn't already struggling missing not getting a happy birthday text from him 👍👍
#and like I get that her intentions were good but i find it SO rude#why would you bring up something heart wrenchingly sad to someone on their birthday? Unless they've indicated to you that they want that#it wasn't even like it was a new picture/one she could reasonably believe I hadn't seen before#we literally used a cropped version of that exact photo for his obituary#she has done something similar with EVERY SINGLE holiday since he died#fathers day & his birthday & thanksgiving & christmas all of them we got texts like “i know how hard today must be!”#like uh no i was doing fine til I got your text actually cuz I was blocking it all out & now your text has forced me to think about it#we're not even that close? Like she legit had never texted me before my dad died#and the last conversation I had with her was her telling me that me needing help with things was co-dependence#rather than a legit need because I am disabled#and that keeping my curtains closed all the time was unhealthy#and when I tried to explain sensory issues she said that she 'gets headaches from the sun sometimes too but you just have to power through'#as if that's the same thing as sensory issues from autism#(which she is apparently an expert on because she is a nurse and has worked with a few young boys with autism)#like literally she claimed she knew better than my actual doctor who diagnoses autism for a living#or my therapist who sees me twice a week (whereas i speak to my aunt MAYBE once a year)#oh also did you know that I should totally be able to hold down a full time job?#because the 18 year old autistic boy she knows whose parents do literally everything to support him and who has zero other responsibilities#and a huge support network trying to meet his needs#well HE'S able to work part time at the movie theater#so obviously that means that I should be able to work too because we're all the same#yeah anyway sorry rant over#it just really upset me#also because I was so upset I forgot I wanted to go to the park on my way home from the weed store 😔#beth posts
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anyways woe wip be upon us. turned oc into a lamb for the next series im in next week :)))
#serv0z art#wip#serv0z wip#i might post it when its done#cricket and i are trying to come up with our outfit colors since they matchin a bit#im actually much happier with this design of them than the one i did last year#theyre a shapeshifting character so ive wanted them to go through different shifts each game and server theyre played on#normally itd be an avian type like in sdl they were an owl nd empires and allay#but with them losing their wings in empires they cant do that anymore#and any wings they create to feel that comfort and relief ends up failing bc they dont work. its dead weight#so i had to change into something with no wings#their tail stays the same tho lmao#a friend in a server said demon lamb bc i was torn between demon and a lamb nd thus the tail is supposed to kinda mimic a demon tail and#a fluffy lamb tail :D not that u cann see it yet >:)#anyways ill shut up now CVBJKN coloring time
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Mmmhh...
#(Basically rant on my last two posts)#I know I've said it before and sorry for coming off as annoying–#but I really wish we still had a central bsd blog on Tumblr like fy-bungoustraydogs or bsd-central or things of the kind.#I think now everyone rushes to post news first. And although there's merit to it in knowing news as soon as they happen‚#in the long run the death of this kind of central official content ***fan*** blogs is such a huge loss of fandom spaces‚#especially for the archiving purposes they solved. Especially today that T/witter and G/oogle have basically become unusable.#Literally. Literally. I've been doing official content archiving since I was 11#(because that's the very specific kind of mental illness I have)#and let me tell you that the quality of web search and especially reverse image search only got worse–#in a way that is very evident and noticeable. Which is crazy tbh and not how things should work.#If anyone would like to start a bsd-central kind of blog I'll be the first one to follow.#Actually if anyone actually wants to establish it feel free to contact me and I'll be more than happy to share the resources I have!!!!#It just needs to be something multi-modded for a series of reasons I won't get into right now#I just can't personally do it (not as main admin at least) because that would be modding my FIFTH active bsd blog–#and that's a little too much even for me.#On top of some ethical concerns I have regarding whether it'd be fair for me to mod a fandom central bsd blog–#when I feel like I can't genuinely share the same amount of love for the franchise other fans share#On top of. You know. Getting a degree eventually hopefully.#Then years after the blog has been solidly enstablished and aquired enough credibility it could even open a free donations found to invest–#in buying and scanning and releasing bsd content that hasn't been shared yet like the guidebooks or illustration books or everything else–#for everyone to see...#The dream. (Is realistically never going to happen) (Won't stop me from daydreaming about it every day)#((Still salty I couldn't afford the guidebooks only due to the shipment prices. I *would* have scanned and uploaded them.))#That was a long and idealistic rant. Kyotag out#Edit: *Modding my SIXTH bsd blog#Apparently I mod so many blogs I lost count of them
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ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.
but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)
LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!
#why do both of my parents need to be so impressively incompetent. i like. cannot find the words for how . i feel about this#like. idc about crimes. go forth. be free. but maybe. just maybe. you should not make your job#“hi today i will post about how i am selling illegally possessed objects on a widely used public forum”#dont do crimes STUPID. yanno.#in other parent news. its now like. month 6 or so of dad refusing to get his insurance reinstated.#hes been on the same step (taking his paystubs to the dhhr office) for like 3 months?#anyway apparently he found out today/last night that when he was a kid he was diagnosed with gastroparesis !#which is like ! cool! you have a diagnosis AND ive been living with that for 16 years and can help you 🥰#but we were sitting there with mom (this was right before the knife thing) and she was like “well you gotta get your insurance now so you#can get on the right meds“ and dad was like yeah ill go....#and mom was saying well go in the morning when they open etc etc and he was like i will#and i pointed out that just two weeks ago i told him that too. and he didnt want to. bc hed lose money due to not being able to work#and mom was like well he doesnt work at 8am. and i was like yeah i know but i told him to go at 8am two weeks ago and that was his response#and then he proceeded to claim that this whole time he didnt know they opened at 8am.#folks. he doesnt start working until like...usually 10 or so. WHAT GOVERNMENT OFFICE DOESNT OPEN UNTIL 10.#PLUS. WE LIVE IN A RURAL HOUR. *BUSY* TAKES LIKE AN HOUR. MOST OF THE TIME YOURE IN AND OUT WITHIN 20 MINITES.#ive been fucking considering PAYING HIM to go get it.#and then he claims he didnt know it opened at 8am. when i have told him that. MULTIPLE TIMES.#WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE LIKE THISSSS THEYRE THE MOST IMMATURE ADULTS IVE EVER MET AND THATS IMPRESSIVE!!!#IVE KNOWN PEOPLE WHO PAY THEIR RENT IN COKE OR WHO ARE ESSENTIALLY PROFESSIONAL PARTIERS. AND *THEYRE* MORE RESPONSIBLE AND MATURE THAN MY#PARENTS. SO WHAT GIVES.#also theyre 50 like cmon yall. youre not even 20 or 30. i think you should know how to not like. get your job shut down or die of lack#of medication.#did i tell yall one of the times a few months ago i was nagging dad abt getting his insurance#his response was literally. no exxageration.#he was like oughhh i dont wanna see doctors because then theyll find out somethings wrong with me#and ill have to go on a bunch of medication.#and then he actually for real. said.#“being on too many medications killed my grandma”#even mom was like cmon man. thats not even true. they misdiagnosed her and put her on WRONG meds. she wasnt even on that many.
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genuinely it is so depressing to spend money drinking just to end up doing nothing interesting and just sitting around
#i need friends who like. doing things.#i need more friends in general but i mean yeah.#would love to have an actual college experience one day. I’ve been in college 4 years or so and I’ve never been to a party and I’ve never#made lasting/close friendships. since pre-covid I haven’t really made friends at all#all my friends (all four of them) are from high school#it’s really fucking pathetic actually how incapable I am of making friends or having a life#and it just feels like a huge fucking waste of time and a waste of a college environment#part of me wishes I would rent at a place full of mostly other students and get a roommate I don’t know (as much as that’s a bad idea if#it’s anything like last time) just so I can be around people and be forced to meet people#also so I can avoid getting lowkey fucked over because my friends I’m supposed to be renting with eventually don’t want to pay a#significant amount of rent and I’d end up paying way more than them just because they supposedly can’t afford it (we all have about the same#income.)#gehsdhdhdhshhd#they also want to rent a place with four of us total and I just. really don’t want to live with that many people. like I think it would#drive me fucking insane. I need control over my surroundings and that leaves me with no control and I don’t like it#and a million other reasons I don’t like the idea#it was originally just supposed to be me and one friend. so. this was not the plan#hahsgshhshh anyway kill me#I’m in that post-drinking state where all pleasant affects of the alcohol have long since worn off and I’m just sort of left a hollow shell#depressed and disappointed.#and I have to go to work this afternoon woohoo awesome so cool#kibumblabs
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(reading your favorite riders post) it’s crazy how marc Gets To You. i care too much about him being safe and succeeding like at some point i started watching the races doing His rituals with the crossed fingers/flicking away its so stupid… but im helping him
tbfffff I have to say I have done dumber stuff for non-marc athletes... here's one - at a certain point last year I made desperate promises to the universe that I would *check notes* send a voice note of myself singing the american national anthem if only we could get this W. which I ended up doing at three in the morning my time, so that's still a recording that exists on my friend's phone. if we'd gotten the follow up win in the final I would've learned how to play the anthem on the piano too and sung along like it was so serious... it had never been so serious... obviously as ever it ended in tears so I was safe on that count. luckily since then I've been sufficiently traumatised that I'm over it and no longer have any genuine feelings over sports. I'm free
anyway with marc at least it's kinda? he's won so much that y'know the results aren't life or death for me, everyone already knows how good he is, especially in a year where realistically he's not reallyyyy in the title fight p4 or p6 isn't life changing for me. I do however worry about him a lot... honestly always been the worst thing about him, like the writing was on the wall with him for years before 2020. that's the difference with watching motogp right,, like in other sports I follow that aren't anywhere close to dangerous, at least I'm not getting that sick feeling of 'oh god you're going to keep coming back for more, you're going to keep hurting yourself'. last year wasn't fun!! on any count, up and down the grid! kind of a different type of worrying... until assen we'd had such a blessed injury free stretch during races this year, it had receded a little bit. worst thing about following this sport by far
but anon extremely valid on doing the rituals too!! doing weird stuff on behalf of athletes you like is a very good and real way to spend your time. that being said! on that topic! I would just like to say those little marc rituals are sensible and good!! idk maybe this is just my own sporting background but it's super common to have that type of habit not just because you're appealing to some higher powers of the sporting pantheon or whatever (though a lot of the time it is that too, athletes ARE freaks) but also because it's Good to have repetitive little habits. it's like mental hygiene, just something to basically put yourself in the same mindset every time before you're competing. so much of sports is about tricking your brain to be in The Zone when you need it to be in The Zone, so just having an actual physical movement to like... flick the switch... is good and normal! I will defend his weird bad thoughts flicking hand motions to the death - it's not just about being a weirdo, it's about linking a little physical motion to the act of disciplining your brain
#mind u the 'what if marc doesn't win sachsenring' gremlins have entered my brain after assen and i'm. not thrilled. would be mad icl#//#batsplat responds#taking a bold pro-superstition stance. i also have an anti-superstition post scheduled i'm keeping things balanced#singing the american national anthem semi-deliriously in the middle of the night the last time i felt happiness? mayhaps#the event was in america this did make sense in context#wait actually i think i did the same thing earlier this year in australia... it did not work again#like it's a standing offer to the universe!! don't u want me to waste my time with learning how to play a random national anthem come ON
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time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist
#snap chats#can i even call it cosplay. why are police sirens going off in the bg oh my god shut UP#anyway yeah ill elaborate. Super Snap Stalkers will remember my p4 era and will remember the time i did in fact do an adachi cosplay#i deleted the og post like an hour later. plus that blog's gone. but im sure some freak can find it if they dig hard enough#ew i think i was 17/18 in that pic (not at all that long ago) ok anyway.#i use the same loafers for my aoki outfit. and yeah i do Regularly wear my rgg outfits i TOLD YOU its functional cosplay i QUIT#just funny that like.... damn everything always goes back to square one LOL#these busted ass old ass loafers still rockin with me years later#if im feeling cheeky i think i will post all my rgg outfits actually. for halloween#hang on gotta be depressed and cringe for a moment#cause ive always liked cosplay but whenever i did it it never felt. Good Looking#like i always just felt like my face never worked for the charas i wanted to portray and so thats why i say with a heavy heart#that aoki's round-ass square-ass head is perfect LOL it makes me wanna throw up looking in the mirror#i got the same weird lips. ok not that squished Similar but Its Awful that he makes me feel comfortable with my face now#at least my eyebags arent double deckered... i at least look like i get sleep.. some days.#breaking !!!! objectively one of the most vile bitches in this franchise makes you feel comfortable with your body and existence#NAW to continue from last post if i had a webcam i prob coulda done a cosplay y7 stream LOL thatd be funny#anyway since this tag ramble is just pure cringe let me round it off with a final bit of cringe#the Forbidden Mention of my trans masato hc cause one reason why i have a Teehee over the thought is how raspy his voice is#and i only really now realized how right i was tonight because my prof called on me to speak and when i tried speaking DAWG.#the forbidden acknowledgement of Myself GROSS#BUT DAWG MY THROAT WAS FUCKIN CRUSTY it felt like sandpaper EW?? WATER FOR YOU?? christ. i hope that was just a one-time thing#ok im leaving now BYE
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wow so great to be on a train and be afraid for your life
#unironically#idk if anyone remembers that time i posted about two of our long distance trains being on the same track from opposite directions which#resulted in 50 people most of whom were 20 year olds dying#alongside my friend's girlfriend#so ive been taking the bus instead which takes about 3h more than the train#one bc i didnt want to give them money two bc. i wanna live.#so anyway today i had to take the train bc i had to leave after work and i dont wanna get at my destination at like midnight#and accidentally i had bought the first class ticket in the first coach#for context when the clash happened last year everyone who was in the first two coaches died. in a very bad way.#i sat in the second coach tho and at some point i got up and walked around and the first two coaches are like. empty. total of 5 people.#and i was like huh the train is pretty empty anyway#and i moved down to like coach 6 and actually the train is p full just no one wants to sit in the first two coaches#and theyre right#had full on panic attack when the train started
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#periodical life updates#lets hope this one goes better than the last one </3#anyway hi everyone. im in an entirely different timezone during this trip so its actually mid afternoon right now#thats not what this is about though this is about how im EXCITED FOR ARTFIGHT AS USUAL!!! lemmy posted his s/is and theyre so cute <3#also the theme reveal is coming on the 23! i hope its enough time for the theme templates? i love doing the theme templates with everyone :#this'll be my seventh year participating holy sht!! ive been doing this for seven (7) years!!!!!!!!#ive been feeling like ive been improving in art every artfight but idk how i'll fare this year. i feel like ive been a bit stagnant#and i did some PRETTY KILLER PIECES LAST YEAR;;; who knows if i'll top it; especially with summer college classes UGH#miserable about that btw. college my beloathed forever and ever amen. :/ ive been meaning to fix a few characters profiles and add some too#FINALLY going to separate kelly and jace! kelly is now the bureau of balance halfling only <3 ive been redrawing a new design of her :>#she has cute pointed ears now heho!! and actual more fantasy-esque clothes to fit her universe <3 jace is getting a separate profile!#jace is now solely my sona and i look SO much more gender now with the haircut and i can post my refs <33#i also want to post agent and icarus and all the javelins but that means i have to draw them actually hfjkh <33#i should also actually add something to shen's profile hfkjfh i care more about xer worldbuilding than xer character i feel </3#IVE BEEN MEANING TO GET QUEUE BACK UP but everytime i look at my drafts i feel so tired </3 theres ART i want to reblog!!!#ough. some other time. okay! im gonna get my artfight discord channel back up and running for the new artfight season! let's go let's go!#oh and i'll be sure to announce which team im joining obviously hdjfdh it'll probably be the lighthearted one <3#some of the themes this year are a little off? (stars vs nebula? heart vs soul? arent those the same thing?) but im hoping for the best <3#okay frfr going now! hope for queue soon maybe if i have time/energy! working on artfight! lets goooooo!! <3
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HAIKYUU ESSAY TIME YAYAYAYA
today's essay idea was brought upon me in the midst of my post-athletics recovery and WILL be my most batshit insane one yet. less facts more feelings. this essay is HEAVILY CENTERED around kghn so it'll only be, like, 15% factually accurate, 85% insane. because there are definitely other non-relationship focused nuances in what i'm about to show you that i shall be choosing to ignore- i'm just clarifying that i DO know they're there, i'm just crazy.
Let us begin.
to provide context, i'll be speaking about Season 1 Episode 23. this is the first official Seijoh match, which they're tied with Karasuno 1-all. this is the final set and the tension is to typical dramatized Haikyuu standard.
Kageyama has just set the ball to Asahi, of which he successfully pulled off a pipe attack, earning Karasuno yet another point. we now proceed to take a look into Kageyama's thoughts post-point:
i'd say this is pretty standard for Kageyama. his game sense when it comes to volleyball is off the charts. dude could probably perfectly play a game in his SLEEP if he really wanted to. knowing where the best attacks will come from, how he'll set the ball- all of that is second nature to him.
and that, my friends, is what makes this line all the more interesting:
because, yes, Hinata did call for the ball, but based on what Kageyama just mentioned, tossing the ball to Hinata should have been ruled out entirely by this point. hell, Kageyama wasn't even FACING Hinata when he called for the ball. Kageyama was literally in the perfect position, perfect timing, perfect EVERYTHING to give it to Asahi.
Yet he nearly gave it to Hinata.
and the fact that he nearly gave it to Hinata is insane enough on its own, but the way Kageyama puts it here: "He nearly took the set away from me." emphasis on the "took [it] away"
Hinata, just by calling out "send it my way," was enough to take the instincts that Kageyama has had and been fostering for his entire lifetime and just throw them all away. Hinata has taken all the game sense Kageyama has built up just by calling for the ball. THAT'S THE KIND OF IMPACT HE HAS ON KAGEYAMA.
(additionally: this kind of impact is almost expected considering the fact that Hinata has established himself as someone that Kageyama can always fall on, having promised to hit any toss he sends his way regardless of how fast or shitty it is.)
one call. one "send it my way." one jump from a place that Kageyama can only see out of the very corner of his eye. that's all it takes.
to paraphrase insanely: with respect to Hinata, all it takes to completely bend Kageyama- an absolute PRODIGY of a player- to your will is to simply call for the ball. that's it. everything could be perfect to send it left, but if Hinata's going right and he wants it, all he has to do is call for it and there's a chance Kageyama will send it to the right. one call. no need to argue.
and then we also get this absolute BLESSING of a frame. absolutely stunning, beautiful, amazing. i eat it up every time.
(the nuance that normal people would see here is essentially: Hinata is such a great decoy that he can even lure his own teammates. which. like. yeah, that also happens. Kageyama is definitely being lured in. i've just decided to take the less normal route and fixate on a completely arbitrary yet still very important aspect of the show- aka Kageyama and Hinata's relationship.)
this scene in particular also ties in nicely to that one bit in season 3 where Oikawa goes to watch the Shiratorizawa vs. Karasuno match and says "Hinata's got Tobio wrapped around his finger" OUGH that one always gets me.
anyways: this is basically one of the five occasions (that i can think of off the top of my head) in which the show points out that Hinata is the one calling the shots here. like, it's never been "Kageyama tosses and Hinata spikes," it's always been "Hinata spikes wherever the fuck he wants to, Kageyama just has to get the ball to him" WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY WILD IF YOU ASK ME
idk. they just. yeah :) they're so cool :)
#Hinata “he's large but i'm in charge” Shouyou everybody!#like. tobio may be a prodigy. but when hinata wants a toss BY GOD WILL KAGEYAMA GIVE HIM THAT TOSS#which makes a shit ton of sense because like. did you SEE their faces when they pulled off that quick attack the first few times?#they LOVE that shit. absolutely love it. nothing is better.#(except playing in official world-level matches against each other. but that's another long post for another time)#speaking of which the fic i currently have in the works touches upon kghn being on separate teams and how them being on the same team is#actually just worse#because that's a take i see sooooooo often#“omg noooo the boyfriends have to be on the same team foreverrrr” okay How does it feel to be Wrong. actually#because last time i checked Tobio was cheesing so hard while he was playing against Hinata that one time#even when they LOST POINTS BECAUSE OF HINATA!!!!!! tobio was like “>v<” I CAN'T STAND GAY PPL SOMETIMES#like Girl ur team just lost a point. a whole Set. even. and you're SMILING??????#they can be so insufferable sometimes#and like obviously hinata loves playing against tobio because. you know. if he wins then he's better and there's nothing better than keepin#promises you made 10 years ago#and they also need to be on separate teams to continue to improve and get better and#you know what maybe i WILL write that other long post some time#maybe after i've finished the fic. just so i can clarify things#anyways#volleyball guys#haikyuu#kagehina#shobio#hinakage#long post#there we go :)
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While we're here, I just want to add an example of a good response to Harris' video.
In the first half of the video, Harris briefly mentions a creator called Lukeypoo (who now goes by Luke Stephens) who had plagiarised Harris' Bloodborne review, and his response at the time was to deny it, signal to his alt right buddies and insult Harris.
After the video came out, Luke Stephens made a post on his community page regarding it:
For those, who can't see the screenshots, it reads:
A video went up on YouTube last night that showed something I did 6 years ago in early 2017, of which I'm very ashamed. I've talked about it on stream plenty since then and try to be very open about it, but I know a lot of people haven't been watching me since 2017 or have not heard me discuss this before. I don't want to hide from my mistakes or deflect, so very plainly here's what happened:
I was just starting on YouTube and I ripped off a phenomenal video on Bloodborne. It was a fantastic video by hbomberguy and after finding it through a Reddit post I tried to take his 1.5 hour masterpiece and make my own suckier version at around 7 minutes. I copied the premise, jokes, structure, and then pretended like it was all just a coincidence that they were so similar. I was a 19 year old idiot who thought it didn't matter because "he's a bigger creator so it's fine" and "it's just the internet." When I was rightly called out for copying his video I dodged, lied, and even attacked and insulted the appearance of those holding me to account, including hbomberguy himself. I copied someone's video, in parts word-for-word, and I pretended like *I* was the victim and *they* were being unreasonable. Unbelievable. There is no question at all: I was in the wrong, fully.
Let me be very clear: I whole heartedly disown who I was back then and what I did. Politically, religiously, and even morally/ethically I was a person that I hate today. I was an extremist, a bully, a religious zealot, and above all, a prick. This event sparked a spiral in my personal life that I didn't document online, but that has led me to who I am today. Someone who tries very hard to respect my fellow creators, audience, and to uphold a high ethical standard for myself. I strive every day to be a better man for myself, my family and kids, and for the community around me. And that's why I'm writing this, because I don't think we should hide from our mistakes or pretend they didn't happen. I screwed up, big time, and I stole the hard work of an incredibly talented creator and for that I'm incredibly sorry. I was 19, hard headed, and above all arrogant and unwilling to acknowledge I had screwed up. It took a couple years after that before I could openly admit what I had actually done, and that it took that long is all the more shameful.
I don't expect a response or certainly forgiveness, but for what it's worth, I am truly sorry for everything, @hbomberguy
For the last 6 years I've been working my butt off to be someone I can be proud of being and I hope you all can see that the man I am today is not the shameful excuse of a person I was back then.
I've never watched a video or stream by Luke Stephens so I can't attest as to his content, but this is one of the best responses I've seen to any kind of accusation, and so I lean towards believing him to be a better man than he was six years.
I thinks it's important to highlight the good response/s to Harris' video, to remind ourselves that plagiarism is not such an immoral action that from which you can't redeem yourself (though in Somerton's case, I'm less sure of that) if you take accountability for your actions, and to remember that in most cases, we should give people space to grow and become better.
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The swiftness and brutality of Hbomberguy’s complete evisceration of James Somerton’s career cannot be overstated.
#i saw this a few days ago and its stayed on my mind#and i havent seen many other people talk about it so i thought i would#also this is unrelated by im not gonna ever put this in an actual post so im going to use these tags to get it off my chest#i rewatched the video yesterday and it aas during harris' speech about how art is difficult and a skill#that i kinda had an epiphany i guess#(have not used that word in a while huh)#because thrice within the last few years#ive come across fics on ao3 where while i wouldnt call it plagiarism the authors did very much steal a considerable amount from my fics#some less than others#one of them used some of the exact same sentences as mine so i guess that one was plagiarism#but they all took a nontrivial amount of ideas or plotbeats or phrasings from my fics#and each time i was in three minds: 1) i found it kinda funny honestly though i cant articulate why; 2) i was flattered because i dont#really think my fics are worth stealing from; and 3) holy shit i baked one of the holy shit two cakes#i wasnt really upset by it especially because i know my work has been inspired by fics i love at times#but after rewatching harris' video#i realised it wasnt that i wasnt upset but that i wasnt allowing myself to be#because i didnt consider my work as something you could steal from? i didnt consider it worthy of that#like not as in ''oh i didnt know my art was that good'' but as in ''oh i didnt know my work was art''#so ive been allowing myself to be upset about it since then#and all those emotions are probably tangled up in the roots of the treehouse luke stephens' response is squatting in#because like#im not going to do anything about it like im not going to accuse the authors of plagiarism#even the one who stole exact sentences mostly because their writing is indicative of a 13 year old and mate im 23#ive been writing since i was 11. i know what its like to be starting out as a newbie writer it just feels mean for me to call them out#and if theyve stolen lines from me theyre going to have done it to other people and im sure theres someone else who feels more comfortable#in approaching them about it#but anyway back to my point#im not going after any of these people in anyway but if i did id want their response to be like this
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it's easier to apply for jobs than ever! so what if you lost your insurance, anyone can get a job these days, even without meds. everyone is hiring! there's a "good employee" shortage!
well you just need to revamp your resume, here's a paid app subscription that can read it for you. rewrite the cover letter they won't read. google jobs in my area and then scrawl through Monster/Indeed/worbly. did you want to save the search? this was posted 98 days ago. over 1 billion applicants! this position is trending.
jobs i actively like doing and get paid for. your search returned no results. easy-apply with HireSpin! easy apply with SparkFire! easy apply with PenisFlash! with a few short clicks, get your information stolen.
watch out! the first 98 links on google are actually scams! they're false postings. oopsie. that business isn't even hiring. that other one is closed permanently. find one that looks halfway legit, google the company and the word "careers". go to their page. scroll past brightly-lit diversity stock photo JOIN US white sans serif. we are a unique, fresh, client-focused stock value capitalism. we are committed to excellence and selling your soul on ebay. we are DRIVEN with POWER to INNOVATE our greed. yippee! our company has big values of divisive decision making, sucking our dicks, and hating work-life balances. our values are to piss in your mouth. sign here and tell us if you have gender issues so we can get ahead of the sexual harassment claim. are you hispanic although let's be real we threw out the resume when we saw your last name.
sign up to LinkHub to access updates from this company. make a HirePlus account to apply. download the PoundLink app. your account has been created, click the link we sent you in 15 minutes. upload that resume. we didn't read the resume, manually fill in the lines now. what is your expected pay grade. oh actually we want hungry people, not people driven by a salary. cut a zero off that number, buddy, this is about opportunity, and we need to be thrifty. highest level of education. autofill is glitching. here is an AI generated set of questions. what is your favorite part of our sexy, sexy company. how do you resolve conflict. will you get our company logo tattooed on your person. warning: while our CEO is guilty of wage theft, we will absolutely refuse to hire a nonviolent felon.
thank you for your interest at WEEBLIX. we actually already filled this position internally. we actually never had that posting. we actually needed you to have 9 years of experience and since you have 10 years we think it might be too many? we'll be texting you. we'll email you. we'll keep your resume. definitely absolutely we won't just completely ignore you. look at your phone, there's already a spam text from Bethany@stealyouridentity. they're hiring!
wait, did you get an interview? well that's special, aren't you lucky. out of 910 jobs you applied to, one answered, finally. and funny story! actually the position isn't exactly as advertised, we are looking for someone curious and dedicated. it's sort of more managerial. no, the pay doesn't change - you won't have any leadership title. now take this 90 minute assessment. in order to be a dog groomer, we need you to explain cell biology. in order to be a copyeditor, write a tiny dissertation about the dwindling supply of helium on the planet. answer our riddles three. great job! we just need to push this up to Tracy in HR who will send it to Rodney who is actually in charge. and then of course it's jay's decision and then greg will need to see you naked and if you survive you'll be given a drug test and a full anal examination.
and of course you'll be hungry this whole time, aren't you, months and months of the same shit. months of no insurance, no meds, no funding, barely able to afford the internet and the phone and the rent - all things you need in order to even apply for our thing. but do it again! do it again and again and again, until you flip inside out and turn into a being of pure dread!
you're not hired yet because you're lazy. there's over one million AI-generated hallucinated jobs in your area. don't worry. with zipruiter, hiring and firing is easier than ever. sign up. stay on-call.
in the meantime, little peon - why don't you just fucking suffer.
#spilled ink#well you'll never guess how i feel about this#ps im hispanic. nonbinary. disabled. girl i cannot pick a fucking struggle.
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