#It's 5 am my brain is dead
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I have the ask screenshoted dw
And I spent the past hour or so struggling through trying to draw heavy tf2 tummy,
So I hope theese are alright 👍
Tried a digital sketch coloring technique on thesse to made them a lil more interesting:D
I still don't know how to draw men, or larger bodies so this was a challenge but I feel like I did pretty good so I'm happy with it :3
Sketch w/o colors
#Also I love when ppl pretend it's medic sending in the heavy tf2 tummy asks#That stuff is so funny to me#Btw sorry anon for vanishing ur ask#ender draws stuff sometimes#tf2#heavy tf2#tf2 heavy#heavy tf2 tummy#Ask#Anonymous ask#medic tf2#tf2 medic#tf2 fanart#tf2 art#It's 5 am my brain is dead#I'm going to try to go to bed#It probably won't work tho lmao
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CONTACT
#x men#x men 97#rogue#romy#my art#my finished stuff#i am loving rogueeee….so much…. and. and her dead situationship……. 😭#for transparency iv been occupied with school + zinework (:3c) but the idea was so vivid in my brain i had to take a shot at it when i had t#-the time#im still on ep 5 btw so if this gets resolved in ep 6 this wil be funny#scheduled
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Every time I read Fernando cursing in fic, I can only think about this clip and then my brain short-circuits
#i have many feelings i shall not disclose about this clip#but i thought abt it again bcs in some fic i was reading it had fernando saying 'joder'#AND THIS CLIP JUST SHOT DIRECTLY INTO THE FOREFRONT OF MY BRAIN#fernando season 1 truly fed us so well#like seriously that show is a fernando fans wet dream theres just...so much...interesting...stuff...#i kept having to replay this clip bcs aaaahhhhhhhh my god.......the cursing...the low tone...the rolling Rs#wdym this clip is about being ahead in a race? all i can hear is sexy cursing and that it is brilliant :)#and nando himself listening back to the clip and just nodding confidently...I AM DEAD HE KILLED ME#(im not really used to reading Spanish J(too used to English J and German J) so the H sound doesnt really pop into my head immediately)#(so i could never really like visualize Spanish speaking charas saying words like joder in a sexy way)#(and then they showed that part in the show and my brain leaked out of my head)#*not actually strollonso but strollonso in my heart because this clip is how I visualize dom Fernando hehehe#i dont remember the ep i think it was either 4 or 5#i think itd be funny if it was 4 tho bcs i think that ep had the most insane clips and gave so much content#(that one had kitty fernando/carlando sr gay drama scene/nando getting railed(thematically)/etc)#fernando alonso#fernando(show)#fa14#formula 1#formula one#f1#we do a little bit of f1#fernando s1e5
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HEY! HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELL ME ABOUT PIXANDRIA!! DO U HAVE ANY BRAIN THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ANTHILL?!
OH BOY DO I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#pixlriffs#pixandria#worldbuilding#empires smp#the archives are something that can be So personal actually (one of my favorite bits of my pixandria worldbuilding)#maybe not as great of quality as my copper inlay comic however#its midnight and i am Tired#and wanted to get this out to the world#does this comic make sense? it feels kinda rambley lol#if u have any questions lmk! send em my way :-)#theres stillquite a Bit more on pixandria so :-))))#ask me things#the anthill being a dead volcano makes so much sense in my brain btw#initially i thought itd b cool bc copper is formed in igneous formations#and then i thought ab the hot springs and went AUGH thats geothermic caused !!!!#and boom !#pixandria founded on the corpse of a once intimidating volcano#the magic around pixandri a...... teehee ......a sk me about it ill be normal i promis#:-)#sorry for inventing like 5 new locations in this post#its my demons#it makes Sense to me okay#its an empire its gotta have a capitol and a castle . okay
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Brain in Daylight Hours: There is no mental or emotional space for writing. There are no new ideas, and no structure for old ideas.
Brain after Dark: Here's 38 new ideas, 3/4 of a structure, official permission to write, and -- oh. The only place to write in the dark is your phone? ... Never mind.
#writing#well#not writing at the moment#I saw a post about characters doomed by the narrative#and the fridged wife trope#and it got me thinking about Apricots#about whether Jess should be dead from the start#and how much it matters that it's a multi-POV story with hers as one of the vital points of view#and whose POVs are ultimately included#and how they kind of mimic the classic 5 stages of grief in a way#but each has to escape their part of that cycle in one form or another#and about how each is a reflection of me in some way because of course they are because that's how I write things#and about how the villains are a reflection of my views about certain things too#and about how the story takes shape#and how it's someone who was dead long before Jess was ever born who's really been doomed from the start#Basil is doomed by the narrative and he knows this#Jess thinks she's doomed by the narrative but she has the chance to change that#Noah resents the narrative because he believes someone has to be doomed by it and he hates the idea of anyone being doomed#Ian thinks there has to be a way out of the narrative if he can just move props around the stage the right way#Kade finds the events of the narrative lonely and sad but knows that clinging to a prologue only makes the rest harder to read#Luciana has believed most of these things at some point#now she believes that while the narrative deserves to be destroyed the characters in it do not so all she can do is endure#and none of these are exactly organized thoughts#or give me any insight into the structure of the plot#or the things I've been struggling with#but it was almosf coherent for a whole hour tonight#and only the idea that writing on my phone until 2 or 3 am would hurt my wrists/hands/eyes stopped me#if only I could keep the light on just a little longer at night#it's a risk to my budgie's health and I refuse to do that#but I wish I could write in the hours my brain says I'm allowed to write...
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my sense of urgency for this election was all used up watching a genocide play out live on instagram while my mom continued to talk about which politician might make the housing market better and i tried not to genuinely lose my mind over the dissonance. in all honesty short of bombs dropping on americans' houses my adrenal glands are beyond checked out. i'll show up to the polls and do my part and try to plug into the bare bones direct action i can find in the middle of nowhere deep red county state but god. there are so many posts circulating trying to fear monger me into voting for one genocidal president of this genocidal nation over another and i may as well live on a different planet. i can fathom the urgency but i could not make myself feel it short of being held at gunpoint. which may even be on the ballot but that's how americans have been voting for decades now and each of them regardless of party has worried about the idea of being held at gunpoint while a right of theirs is taken away while there are people who are already being held at gunpoint and their rights have already been taken away by the very people being beamed into my eyeballs as the escape from this hypothetical violence that's already non-hypothetically happened to millions who aren't US liberals because of the america they're trying to save from trump the same america regardless of democrats or republicans or whigs or federalists and does anyone else feel like they're going crazy
#j.txt#2024 elections#cannot imagine how american palestinians are feeling#it's genuinely... like i felt honest to god insane watching the boots on the ground journalists over there every day for like 4 months#and then going to work 5 days a week like any of this fucking matters#like nothing about this election can compare in my psyche to that like i'm not even trying to compare them but my brain like#changed shapes this year. and its shape now does not include a sense of urgency about fucking dollhouse barbie american politics after#experiencing all that. last year early this year#i still think about gaza every day but i'm privileged enough to have burned out obsessively getting updated every day#the ocean we swim in said this is normal now. israel committing genocide w our dollars is normal now#it's the same shit with the pandemic and i don't buy into it but the dissonance of the entire world around me spinning on that axis#while mine spins on a completely different one where thousands of people we could have saved are dead now#like sorry that is genuinely insane. i feel like my mind will actually break if i think about it for too long#it's a worldwide gaslight and it's Unfathomable that these political issues in my world#where thousands are dead. is not on my mom's political radar whatsoever like she's thinking about jesus and the housing market#like those thousands upon thousands of lives were never even REAL#i feel like i'm going crazy man it's so fucking ridiculous how am i supposed to take politics seriously with that split#like i know how and i still do but. can anyone here me it's just#it's genuinely a gaslight to think about it too long like i will feel like my reality is splintering
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"FREEZE YOUR BRAIN" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)
I regret my life choices of not being able to actually start studying. Here's "Freeze Your Brain" adapted in Italian!
ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)
(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)
[J.D.] Sono stato in dieci superiori Tutte la stessa scenetta Inutile abituarsi Perché ce ne andiamo di fretta Mio padre tiene nel baule pronti due bagagli Quindi è solo una questione di ricaricarli I nomi non imparo Che faccia è di chi non m'è chiaro La fiducia in questa oasi di cemento riparo Sembra che ogni volta che sto per disperarmi C'è un 7-Eleven ad aspettarmi Ogni negozio è lo stesso Da Las Vegas all'Ohio Corsie di linoleum che adoro Vagare io Prego al mio altare di granita; Sì, adoro quella dolce botta di vita...
Congela il cervello Succhia dalla cannuccia Meglio di un coltello Arriva la felicità Quando tutto se ne va A chi serve uno spinello? Congela il cervello Congela il cervello
[J.D., parlato] Ti va un tiro?
[VERONICA, parlato] La tua mammina sa che mangi tutta quella merda?
[J.D., parlato] Non più
(cantato) Quando mamma era viva Vivevamo quasi normalmente Ora siamo solo io e mio padre Stiamo meno formalmente Ho imparato a cucinare Le tasse a pagare; Imparato che'l mondo Nemmeno un cent ti vorrà dare Il tuo futuro hai pianificato Veronica Sawyer Andrai a qualche college E sposerai un avvocato Ma il cielo farà male Quando su di te sarà demolito Quindi è meglio se Il tuo muro l'avrai già costruito...
Congela il cervello Nuota nel ghiaccio Perditi nel suo doloroso bello Chiudi bene i tuoi occhi Fino a che non ti vedran quegli sciocchi Non diventare uno zimbello
Congela il cervello Distruggiti il teschio Combatti il dolore con uno più bello Dimentica chi sei Liberati da quel peso Dimentica in un mese e mezzo Riavrai lo stesso frainteso Quando la voce nella tua testa Dice ch'uno come te è meglio se non resta Non ascoltare a quello
Solo congela il cervello Congela il cervello Vai avanti e congela il cervello...
(parlato) Provaci So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)
[J.D.] I've been through ten high schools They're all the same little scene (but little in this case is meant in a negative light) No point getting used to it 'Cause we're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases ready in the den So it's only a matter of refilling(/repacking) them I don't learn the names Whose faces is whose isn't clear to me My trust resides in this concrete oasis Seems every time I'm about to despair There's a 7-Eleven waiting for me Each store is the same From Las Vegas to Ohio Linoleum aisles that I love To walk around in I pray at my altar of slush; Yeah, I live for sweet hit of life (or however you call that, basically gives life force again but something that gives you life force not in a literal sense)...
Freeze your brain Suck from that straw Better than a knife Happiness comes When everything goes Who needs a joint? Freeze your brain Freeze your brain
[J.D., spoken] You want a hit?
[VERONICA, spoken] Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?
[J.D., spoken] Not anymore
(sung) When mom was alive We lived almost normally But now it's just me and my dad We live less formally I learned to cook pasta To pay taxes; Learned the world Won't want to give you even a cent You've planned your future Veronica Sawyer You'll go to some college And marry a lawyer But the sky's gonna hurt When it'll be demolished on you So it'll be better if You'll have already built your wall
Freeze your brain Swim in the ice Get lost in its beautiful pain Shut your eyes tight(/well) Till those fools (sorry I had to use this for the rhyme) won't see you Don't become a laughingstock
Freeze your brain Destroy your skull Fight pain with a more beautiful one Forget who you are Free yourself from that weight Forget in a month and a half You'll have the same misunderstanding again When the voice in your head Says someone like you is better off gone Don't listen to that guy(/him)
Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...
(spoken) Try it OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):
[J.D.] I've been through ten high schools They start to get blurry No point planting roots 'Cause you're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases packed in the den So it's only a matter of when I don't learn the names Don't bother with faces All I can trust is this concrete oasis Seems every time I'm about to despair There's a 7-Eleven right there Each store is the same From Las Vegas to Boston Linoleum aisles that I love To get lost in I pray at my altar of slush; Yeah, I live for that sweet frozen rush...
Freeze your brain Suck on that straw Get lost in the pain Happiness comes When everything numbs Who needs cocaine? Freeze your brain Freeze your brain See upcoming pop shows Get tickets for your favorite artists
[J.D., spoken] Care for a hit?
[VERONICA, spoken] Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?
[J.D., spoken] Not anymore
(sung) When mom was alive We lived halfway normal But now it's just me and my dad We're less formal I learned to cook pasta I learned to pay rent; Learned the world Doesn't owe you a cent You're planning your future Veronica Sawyer You'll go to some college And marry a lawyer But the sky's gonna hurt When it falls So you better start Building some walls...
Freeze your brain Swim in the ice Get lost in the pain Shut your eyes tight Till you vanish from sight Let nothing remain
Freeze your brain Shatter your skull Fight pain with more pain Forget who you are Unburden your load Forget in six weeks You'll be back on the road When the voice in your head Says you're better off dead Don't open a vein
Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...
(spoken) Try it
#heathers#heathers the musical#heathers 1989#jason dean#veronica sawyer#song adaptation#i'm sorry#in italiano#i'm lazy with tags today#sorry for that#non è ufficiale lol non so se hanno mai fatto la traduzione ufficiale o anche la traduzione#i tried to keep as many rhymes as possible#some syllables got fucked up (not in a dead girl walking way but in an “i am damaged” way [tried my best])#this machine runs on coffee adapts “heathers: the musical” songs in italian#freeze your brain#scheduled on the 28/5 for the 3/6 at 7:45AM#So... During the summer I'll be very busy#way busier than during the school year social media speaking#so no more song adaptations because I do them on my computer and I'll be far away from it#You might get one more if I can and it might be of Heathers or not(The Ballad Of Jane Doe is stuck in my head so no promises about anything#nothing might come out so really no promises at all#sorry about that#might also be why I hate the summer compared to the winter#in winter we stay at home#in the summer i travel and i'm glad and know i'm priviledged for this but it's gonna be a busy time and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#plus constant interaction with people#i don't remember how i used to be able to deal with it before the lockdown but now i can't anymore and need my time alone#or i'll become way more annoyed than usual and those things i have similar to sensory issues will get way worse#and i don't have time alone in the summer so i'm fucked#oh well
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Orpheus and Eurydice
"Well that was stupid of him." Charles remarked, chuckling to himself. "If he truly loved her he would've continued walking."
Edwin sighed. "Charles that is not the point. It is a cautionary tale on faith and patience. Going to hell to save the person you love is more than enough to show that you love them. You yourself should know that better than anyone."
Charles smirked. "You've got a point on that one."
-
The night was nearing its end as the light of the sun began to peak through the mass of darkness that was the sky. Long brushstrokes of soft pinks and oranges that were breathtaking each time they came around. Each day a new rebirth and each night a new death. If Charles thought hard enough he could almost feel the chilling winter breeze that he was so familiar with. He wondered how Edwin felt seeing the sun for the first time in decades, he himself couldn't even fathom being in the darkness for so long. But it brought about the question: When would it end? When would it be the last time he saw the sun? And in the end of everything, would Edwin still be by his side? Orpheus and Eurydice were cursed to wander Hell together for eternity. To Charles, that didn't seem all too bad, as long as he was with his best mate, everything seemed fine. "Would you turn around?" the question echoed in his head. He would. He did. And there wouldn't be a version of life where he wouldn't. Orpheus turned around because he loved her, to love someone is to look at them. And when he did, he didn't want to look away.
#dead boy detectives#painland#edwin x charles#drabble#really fucking bad#4 am ramblings#im like 80% sure this was inspired by another tumblr post but i dont even remember anymore#i can write better than this i swear#DRAFT THIS IS A DRAFT#my head hurts#puke#post-exam brain rotting#i wrote this 5 months ago
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Checked out the epinagi leaks and
Nagi getting Reo flashbacks during the match like he got ptsd from the breakup is such an unexpected comedic highlight of this chapter shdhjdjdh
#'it's a pain to do it while my feelings are messed up'#Ncbfhhdbdh you're experiencing SADNESS and DISAPPOINTMENT and a touch of BETRAYAL#I would say feeling a bit down is normal fghdjdsbs but of course he's like oh why am I malfunctioning#Local teen experiences emotions. 7 dead 5 injured#It's so funny how he's like#I'm not your toy reo. I don't care anymore#And then two seconds later he's laying in bed rotating reo in his brain like a microwave#And then getting friendship flashbacks in the middle of the match like he's survived a war or something#Fjhdjdjdjsb GAY PEOPLE I SWEAR
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Okay, I lied, I'm not done with the whole "K'Sante can bench press Sett" thing.
Is it phrased that way because they are using Sett relatively to show just how strong K'Sante is? Like, because we already know Sett is this ripped dude, so it's like the equivalent of saying that he's so strong he could literally do reps with Sett.
Or has he ACTUALLY done this?
And, if it's the latter, I demand the context because there are many ways to play this game. Was this a funny challenge between two gym bros, and Sett fully consented to become a human (half human?) barbell?
Or was this something that K'Sante did out of nowhere, unprompted? Maybe it was even in response to a similar challenge to the above, except Sett got all flustered about it because-- I mean, he's big and he's heavy and no one has probably been able to pick him up off the ground since he was a kid--- so he was rightfully a bit taken aback by the fact his band mate can legit lift him repeatedly over his fricken head.
And we haven't even DISCUSSED the flip side where I need to ask if SETT is able to bench press K'Sante, or if K'Sante is actually stronger than Sett.
#league of legends#heartsteel#sett lol#k'sante lol#sett league of legends#k'sante league of legends#But srsly why aren't other ppl focusing on this with the same intensity as i am?? I'm more focused than the ppl who PLAY THE GAME?????#oh no..I can hear the drums...of a mini hyper fixation worming its way to my brain#I'm pretty sure that it's the ppl with hyper fixations that singlehandedly keep fandoms alive#even if most of their content is dead#Well...cr@p bc the next phase is probably me writing scenarios of this in my head for the next few days to weeks#I don't know where I'm going with this-- I mean- there are so many ways you could write this#I could go to town with this scenario#i love when I fixate on something no one else does and I know I'm singlehandedly feeding about 5 people lol
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reblog, like, or read this post if I should quit my job
#do I have another lined up?#no#am I on the verge of insanity?#yes#I could focus more on my small business#which isn’t as reliable#but it also doesn’t make me want to kill my self#i have so much shit going on in my brain#the part 8 months I have given#ALL of myself into all this shit that keeps happening#and I don’t have anything left#I am empty and dead inside#not to mention#I’ve been bleeding for 5 FUCKING WEEKS STRAIGHT#IM GOING INSANE
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FINALLY. THIRD ACT. IT'S BEEN 3000 YEARS, I'VE FINALLY ESCAPED THE BUILDUP DUNGEONS INTO THREE SECONDS OF DIALOGUE THAT IS ACTUAL PLOT EVENTS, PRAISE BE TO THE WRITING GODS!
#hand jumper#DIALOGUE#LIKE THE LAND YOU FIND AFTER MONTHS OF SEA#ryujin mention of the day ig but lord knows how many days i missed they probably though i was dead and i technically was#The Horrors™ persisted but through pure hubris so did i#they say the first work is the worst work and brother i am serving that right#the cops are gonna find my rotting corpse#and they will only find the delusional folders of side character brain rot in the remains of my freshly burnt living quarters#born with a curse and the curse was fixating on two people's 5 minutes and 32 seconds of screentime respectively and obsessing over it#when i finally finish this i can finally force the peoples to listen to the queerplatonic situationship that juni and ishaan have going on#only in my deranged mind#only thing that kept me alive this month was this and that game i've waiting for really#BUT THE HORIZON IS UPON US LADS#terrible writing dumpster fire /hj coming soon near you#if i can proofread in time since i forgot contemporary literature actually condemns huge paragraphs
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he's such a little guy...
#ooc#/muns w.i.ps#𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘋𝘢𝘳𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 - [ 𝘛𝘢𝘳𝘩𝘰𝘴 ]#verse; monster#hi my brain is dead i cannot think; i took a nap; woke up more tired than when i napped#so im probably just going to stay up until 5 am; take care of the ducks before its extremely hot; go to bed#and wake up for 4th of j.uly lunch because its too hot to be outside
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The fun thing about old trauma is you'll go so long without a trigger that you'll think you're over it but then you realize that's not true and the things that trigger it have just reduced in quantity.
#my grandma (who im not close to) is probably gonna die soon which means my dad is probably gonna come back to the states from vietnam for#her funeral (when it happens) and that kinda terrifies me#i havent seen my dad in over 5 years and completely cut him out of my life#the amount of confidence and self esteem ive gained since cutting him off is amazing but the thought of seeing him again#i cant tell if ill just go back to the scared child i used to be or if ill be able to stand up to him#and like i said im not close to my gma so i could probably get away with not going to this hypothetical funeral#but id also want to go to support the little family i am close to on that side if that makes sense?#but even if i didnt i still dont relish the thought of him being in the same town as me esp since this is a small town#the odds of me running into him are relatively high#gma isnt even dead yet but of course hearing she wasnt doing well made my brain spiral and remind me the trauma is in fact still there
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i... will finish this tomorrow.... idk why i do this to myself....
#me when im#my art#wip#it was supposed to be done yesterday... but painting is hard and i am too brain dead currently to finish...#i might actually cry if i have to think about the embroidery/beading tonight#or look at my god awful layers...#i know i know i keep harping on the layers. but they are really bad...#they may as well be a single layer tbh.#also my tablet is dying and i have to be up in 5 hours...
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x
#another day another really weird dream#at first i dreamt i was watching a movie or a video game gameplay#where the main character was a woman who lived with her husband and two kids in the middle of nowhere#in like a house on the mountains#and one day two alien thingies like take ahold of the house but without her knowing#the husband knows tho amd hes trying to keep cool and give in to their request#and then we find out they approach her and give her the same 'rules' other wise they'd hurt her family#and like theyd drink blood and take samples from her family while she watches but she cant make a sound#she has to pretend everything is fine or they'll kill everybody#in the end the husband finds her#covered in blood with the two aliens dead and with their brains removed and eaten#but we dont kmow what happened. so then the dream changes#and its actually me with my family and im the main character#same stuff happens to me. but they're not really aliens theyre two men with weird powers#one night they give me a final trial. i have to hide from one of them until 5 am or they'll kill me and keep the game going with my family#i manage to hide and run for the whole night and they say i passed a test and me and my family are free#and the two men have become my subordinates and they must do everything i say#so i called the cops on them lmao. but then changed my mind and killed them before the cops came#and the cops were like ah. oh well. cleaned the house and left lol#and then i woke up
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