#way busier than during the school year social media speaking

[this-machine-runs-on-coffee]

"FREEZE YOUR BRAIN" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)

I regret my life choices of not being able to actually start studying. Here's "Freeze Your Brain" adapted in Italian!

ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)

(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)

[J.D.] Sono stato in dieci superiori Tutte la stessa scenetta Inutile abituarsi Perché ce ne andiamo di fretta Mio padre tiene nel baule pronti due bagagli Quindi è solo una questione di ricaricarli I nomi non imparo Che faccia è di chi non m'è chiaro La fiducia in questa oasi di cemento riparo Sembra che ogni volta che sto per disperarmi C'è un 7-Eleven ad aspettarmi Ogni negozio è lo stesso Da Las Vegas all'Ohio Corsie di linoleum che adoro Vagare io Prego al mio altare di granita; Sì, adoro quella dolce botta di vita...

Congela il cervello Succhia dalla cannuccia Meglio di un coltello Arriva la felicità Quando tutto se ne va A chi serve uno spinello? Congela il cervello Congela il cervello

[J.D., parlato] Ti va un tiro?

[VERONICA, parlato] La tua mammina sa che mangi tutta quella merda?

[J.D., parlato] Non più

(cantato) Quando mamma era viva Vivevamo quasi normalmente Ora siamo solo io e mio padre Stiamo meno formalmente Ho imparato a cucinare Le tasse a pagare; Imparato che'l mondo Nemmeno un cent ti vorrà dare Il tuo futuro hai pianificato Veronica Sawyer Andrai a qualche college E sposerai un avvocato Ma il cielo farà male Quando su di te sarà demolito Quindi è meglio se Il tuo muro l'avrai già costruito...

Congela il cervello Nuota nel ghiaccio Perditi nel suo doloroso bello Chiudi bene i tuoi occhi Fino a che non ti vedran quegli sciocchi Non diventare uno zimbello

Congela il cervello Distruggiti il teschio Combatti il dolore con uno più bello Dimentica chi sei Liberati da quel peso Dimentica in un mese e mezzo Riavrai lo stesso frainteso Quando la voce nella tua testa Dice ch'uno come te è meglio se non resta Non ascoltare a quello

Solo congela il cervello Congela il cervello Vai avanti e congela il cervello...

(parlato) Provaci So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices)

[J.D.] I've been through ten high schools They're all the same little scene (but little in this case is meant in a negative light) No point getting used to it 'Cause we're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases ready in the den So it's only a matter of refilling(/repacking) them I don't learn the names Whose faces is whose isn't clear to me My trust resides in this concrete oasis Seems every time I'm about to despair There's a 7-Eleven waiting for me Each store is the same From Las Vegas to Ohio Linoleum aisles that I love To walk around in I pray at my altar of slush; Yeah, I live for sweet hit of life (or however you call that, basically gives life force again but something that gives you life force not in a literal sense)...

Freeze your brain Suck from that straw Better than a knife Happiness comes When everything goes Who needs a joint? Freeze your brain Freeze your brain

[J.D., spoken] You want a hit?

[VERONICA, spoken] Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?

[J.D., spoken] Not anymore

(sung) When mom was alive We lived almost normally But now it's just me and my dad We live less formally I learned to cook pasta To pay taxes; Learned the world Won't want to give you even a cent You've planned your future Veronica Sawyer You'll go to some college And marry a lawyer But the sky's gonna hurt When it'll be demolished on you So it'll be better if You'll have already built your wall

Freeze your brain Swim in the ice Get lost in its beautiful pain Shut your eyes tight(/well) Till those fools (sorry I had to use this for the rhyme) won't see you Don't become a laughingstock

Freeze your brain Destroy your skull Fight pain with a more beautiful one Forget who you are Free yourself from that weight Forget in a month and a half You'll have the same misunderstanding again When the voice in your head Says someone like you is better off gone Don't listen to that guy(/him)

Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...

(spoken) Try it OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):

[J.D.] I've been through ten high schools They start to get blurry No point planting roots 'Cause you're gone in a hurry My dad keeps two suitcases packed in the den So it's only a matter of when I don't learn the names Don't bother with faces All I can trust is this concrete oasis Seems every time I'm about to despair There's a 7-Eleven right there Each store is the same From Las Vegas to Boston Linoleum aisles that I love To get lost in I pray at my altar of slush; Yeah, I live for that sweet frozen rush...

Freeze your brain Suck on that straw Get lost in the pain Happiness comes When everything numbs Who needs cocaine? Freeze your brain Freeze your brain See upcoming pop shows Get tickets for your favorite artists

[J.D., spoken] Care for a hit?

[VERONICA, spoken] Does your mommy know you eat all that crap?

[J.D., spoken] Not anymore

(sung) When mom was alive We lived halfway normal But now it's just me and my dad We're less formal I learned to cook pasta I learned to pay rent; Learned the world Doesn't owe you a cent You're planning your future Veronica Sawyer You'll go to some college And marry a lawyer But the sky's gonna hurt When it falls So you better start Building some walls...

Freeze your brain Swim in the ice Get lost in the pain Shut your eyes tight Till you vanish from sight Let nothing remain

Freeze your brain Shatter your skull Fight pain with more pain Forget who you are Unburden your load Forget in six weeks You'll be back on the road When the voice in your head Says you're better off dead Don't open a vein

Just freeze your brain Freeze your brain Go on and freeze your brain...

(spoken) Try it

[sunarintarouproperty]

A Little Too Late

A Little Too Late 

Fandom: Haikyuu

Genre: Angst 

Includes: Suna Rintarou 

Warnings: Pure Angst, Mention of Cheating (Please Let Me Know If I Missed Anything)

A/N: After a few hours, this is the continuation of “Better This Way” - as requested~. I felt the ending was a little rushed, but I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless! This is part one if you haven’t read it yet! 

Maybe it was the nostalgia that caused Suna to walk alone along the bustling city streets at night or maybe it was just boredom. It didn’t seem to matter as he had no particular destination in mind and let his feet carry him aimsley, watching with uninterested eyes at the many people who passed. 

It was around Christmas time when the streets were a little busier and filled with countless families and groups of students who were enjoying the holiday festivities together, all of whom were basking in the Christmas glow. 

Laughter filled the air, but it was maybe that which caused him to feel a little more lonely. Usually, time around this year would be spent around with his friends and family; however, this year his family was out of the country for the holidays and his friends had their own families to take care of. 

It didn’t help that 6 months ago, he found out his ex girlfriend of 4 years that he was thinking of finally proposing to, was cheating on him with a coworker of hers. Suna found the entire situation ridiculous because after hearing her complain relentlessly about wanting to get married, he finally got the courage to buy a ring, only to find her the same day with her co-worker getting busy in the back of his car down the street from their apartment. 

However, it was during those six months after the split up when Suna began to uncover some buried feelings that he thought he got rid of, which is probably why he was walking down the familiar street. A street that you both used to accompany each other frequently, especially during the holidays. 

To his right, he could see the same skating rink he took you to every year as tradition, along with the hot chocolate stand nearby that you always insisted on drinking at. He believed your reasoning was to support small businesses instead of going to places like Starbucks for overpriced drinks. The entire moment was bittersweet, because even years after walking out on the most important person in his life, Suna could still feel the overwhelming guilt of not realizing how actually important you were to him sooner.

After his breakup, Suna tried his hardest to get in contact with you, only to find out that you switched your number and deactivated your former social media accounts. He even went as far to ask former friends and acquaintances of yours about your whereabouts, only to be told that you moved out of the country less than a year after what happened. 

Did he hurt you that badly to the point where you couldn't stay in Japan? Was it him or was it the memories? Breathing out a heavy sigh at the thought, Suna stopped briefly to watch the condensation from his breath.

And it was from that brief moment that he saw from the corner of his eyes, a familiar figure that he always failed to chase after in his dreams amongst the moving crowd. With widened eyes and head whipping around widely in order to catch another fleeting glimpse, Suna could feel the desperation claw at his throat. He didn’t know if his eyes were playing tricks on him, but Suna needed to see you again in front of him, even just once. 

And it was by chance when Suna’s eyes landed on your figure that stopped to peer into a shop, looking ethereal under the store’s lighting as snow slowly cascaded down from the clear, night sky. The entire moment was a bit picturesque as he couldn’t believe his eyes. 

Without even realizing it, his feet led him to stand a few feet behind your figure as he desperately tried to engrave this scene into his memories. The entire situation felt like a dream to the point he was almost afraid that if he blinked, you would disappear right before his eyes once more. 

Feeling the peering eyes, you slowly turned around to face the man who once caused you immense heartache. But instead of cursing him out like he expected you to, all you did was smile. A smile that took his breath away and left him gaping in awe. 

“Y/N…” Suna mumbled, eyes shifting around nervously with his hands shoved into his coat pockets to hide his clenched fists that trembled slightly. After countless dreams and wishing, you finally stood before him. He wanted to apologize for hurting you and telling you that he's been missing you like crazy. Suna honestly hoped it wasn’t too late to start anew.

“Hello, Suna.” You said while smiling warmingly. Your eyes met briefly before you looked around at your surroundings to admire all the twinkling lights for a moment. “It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?” 

Despite your good intentioned acknowledgment, Suna wanted the ground to swallow him whole as you addressed him by his last name. He internally cringed, but he had to remind himself that he wasn’t as close to you as before and there was no reason to be upset. After all, this was the grave he dug himself. 

“Yeah,” Suna managed to breathe out, mouth opening and closing as he tried to form proper sentences as silence engulfed the air around you. You didn’t seem to mind his lack of words, almost too busy watching the colorful lights around you.  

“How have you been?” He finally asked, watching as your eyes finally turned back to him. “I heard you moved out of Japan.” He listened attentively, wanting to hold onto your every single word.  

Your eyes seemed to sparkle at the mention as he wondered if your eyes always looked this beautiful.

“I’ve actually been great! And yeah, I moved briefly to California in the U.S for schooling.” You said, the corner of your eyes crinkling in happiness at the thought, all of which didn’t go unnoticed by Suna. 

“Look,” Suna began before he was cut off abruptly by a shout.

“MAMA!” A child screamed that caused your head to turn in their direction. Almost immediately, your entire expression seemed to brighten even more as you waved back at the voice. 

Turning to look, Suna almost wished he hadn’t. In the arms of a man was a two year-old child who closely resembled you that was waving widely and giggling in your direction. His heart clenched painfully at the resemblance of being reminded of his younger years with you. And it wasn’t just any man with the child… Suna recognized him as Iwaizumi Hajime, the athletic trainer for MSBY.

It was at this moment when Suna turned to look back at you when he saw the unmistakable engagement ring that glittered mockingly on your left hand as you waved back. Your eyes were filled with complete love and adoration as you gazed at the two, with Suna wishing you looked at him like that once more. Suna felt his stomach churn uncomfortably as his fists clenched even tighter in his pockets, but still keeping up his almost indifferent expression at the newfound revelation. 

Chuckling, you turned back to Suna. “You were saying?” 

Suna almost wanted to scream, whether it be from pain or anger, he still managed to keep his composure as he stared at your face trying to remember every single detail-knowing full well that this could be his last.

“It’s nothing…” Suna managed to speak after a moment of silence. 

Peering closely at his face, you could see a whirlwind of emotions behind his green eyes. Immediately, Suna could tell that you saw right through his facade, something that you’ve always been able to do since you guys were kids. However, you chose not to comment knowing his life was none of your business anymore.  

Instead, you gave one last smile to him before you began to walk away and straight into the arms of another. You briefly stopped and without turning around, you said, “I wish you the best in life Suna.” 

Despite the immense heartache he gave you years prior, you couldn’t help but be thankful. Because without him, you wouldn’t have been able to become the stronger version of you right now and happily married to someone who cherished you everyday without fail. Without him, you wouldn’t have been able to meet the most wonderful child.  

Suna laughed bitterly at how ironic it was to see only your back as you walked away from him like he did to you all those years ago. He wondered if this was the gut-wrenching pain you felt, but he figured it was well deserved karma for how he treated you. 

Instead of calling out to you one last time like he desperately wanted, he walked in the opposite direction of the one he loved a little too late. The one who got away... 

“Yeah, maybe it is a little too late…” 

[let-me-write-shit]

Somebody To You: 9

Friendly reminder to please Like and/or Reblog. It helps more than you think! :)

New chapter every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!

WARNING: LOTS OF FLUFF and mentions of situational depression

Word Count: 3,880

Click Here For Previous Chapter & Other Completed Stories

PLEASE let me know what you think

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CHAPTER NINE:

She tried. She really did. After Harry’s unexpected surprise for her sister, Zoey was in better spirits. And the phone call she got at work that night from Katie who was gushing about how great the show was and how well Harry treated her and her sister’s friend and made sure they got home safely meant the world to her. But it was just a distraction. By the next morning, the depression hit her again. She made the mistake of checking her social media accounts for the first time in weeks and was instantly bulldozed with dozens of posts and tagged pictures from old high school and college classmates making ‘I miss you’ posts. Needless to say, she didn’t respond to them.

Instead, Zoey went right back to barricading herself in her room. Nancy and Rory began to worry and started checking in on her a little more frequently throughout the day, which she actually appreciated. Andy tried his best to distract her at work and even had her take a few shots with him to ease the stress. Brett had backed off a little, not texting her as much and he had taken a little break on coming over to hang out with them, but still kept the normalcy of shamelessly flirting with her at work. 

And Harry. Poor Harry. She knew he was going through a lot right now with his tour and Rory and trying to write a new album. It was always in the back of her mind with every text she left unanswered. ‘I hope he doesn’t think I’m abandoning him.’ It was a silly thing to worry about. She knew he wouldn’t blame her for her silence if he knew. But he didn’t know. She couldn’t tell him. Because to say it or to write it down would make it more official - more real. She was okay with pretending that she was living in some sort of fantasy. One where her best friend was simply back at home. It was plausible. There was no way that she would be living in LA, pulling hot, successful men’s phone numbers nightly, and be friends with Harry Styles in real life. Being in a dream-like state or alternate universe made more sense than Jessica having been dead for a whole year.

She just couldn’t talk to Harry about it. She tried, drafting a few texts to him. But she deleted them all before she got the courage to send them. She didn’t want to cry. She needed to keep it together. She had gone this long without crying, she just needed to get through to Wednesday. Because she knew that once she started crying, she wouldn’t be able to stop. And Harry would have said something sweet or profound and she would have lost it. Better to ignore Harry and just get through this.

But it was lonely, and being alone during this scared the crap out of her. She could feel her grasp on reality slipping. She could feel herself falling deeper into the hole she dug herself in a year ago. How did anyone cope with losing a loved one? Especially as suddenly and unexpectedly as she did? She was with Jess when she died. They were laughing together when the impact happened. Jess was one room over when she was pronounced dead. How could Zoey have gone a whole year having, arguably the best time of her life, without Jess?

She hardly slept after work on Monday. If anything, she just went into a deep state of zoning out, because the next thing she noticed was the sun rising behind a thick layer of dark clouds. Seemed fitting that it would rain today.

Her phone rang several times, missing calls from her parents, her sister, her ex-boyfriend Michael, and Harry. She was half tempted to answer Harry’s call, but she lacked the energy to speak. She just felt drained and numb. It reminded her of how she felt when she heard the news. There was no emotion she could register. Not sad, or angry, or confused. Just numb. But she had the overwhelming urge to be held, desperate for warmth and the pressure from being squeezed. Something to make her feel safe and comforted and to ease her pent-up anxiety.

The longer Zoey stared out the window, the busier the streets below got. Rory had already poked her head in to say goodbye before she left for a meeting. She knew that any moment now Nancy would be knocking on her door to offer her some breakfast for the sixth day in a row, and Zoey would, once again, respectfully decline. Like clockwork, a soft tapping sounded. Zoey rolled over in her bed to face the door and she uttered, “Yeah?”

Slowly, the door creaked open and a tall figure in gray sweatpants, a black t-shirt, and a black beanie with curly brown hair poking out from the bottom came into view. Stubble lined his upper lip and chin, his lips were turned down in a sort of frown, and his big green eyes stared down at her, concern, sympathy, and care was etched thick in his gaze and in the creases of his eyes. Seeing Harry standing in the middle of her doorway was all it took. With one look, he had managed to make her not only come to terms with her emotions but also allow her to push through the numbness to feel her emotions. By just a mere look, Zoey’s face screwed up, her lips tightened and turned downwards, and she began to cry.

Harry quickly closed the door and was by her side in an instant, slipping under the covers and pulling her close to his chest, stroking her back and just allowing her to let it out. He didn’t even flinch when she gripped onto his shirt and sobbed into his chest. He knew she must have been hurting, but he couldn’t get a good read on just how much until that moment, and to see her in so much pain twisted a knife into his heart. He couldn’t help but get emotional as tears stung his eyes, holding his friend tighter.

Eventually, her sobbing slowed as she began to run out of energy, but neither of them said a word. They just laid there with Zoey’s face in Harry’s chest, gripping onto his shirt, until she eventually fell asleep. He didn’t dare move in case he woke her. He could tell it had been days since she’s had a decent night’s sleep. She had bags under her eyes, her hair was barely in a bun with chunks of hair dangling sporadically every which way. He had half a mind to wake her up and yell at her for bottling up her feelings instead of talking to him or anyone for that matter. But he didn’t have the heart. At least he was here now. He’d take the heat from his management for leaving later.

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours until Harry, too, fell asleep. By the time they came to, Zoey’s phone was ringing. Harry rubbed his eyes and yawned while Zoey stirred awake, reaching for her phone that was wedged in between their legs on the top of the bedspread, turning it to see that someone named ‘Mikey’ was calling. She pressed a button to silence the ringer and stared at the screen until the name disappeared. Harry noticed the dozens of missed texts she had gotten before she tossed the phone to the end of the bed and he couldn’t help but recognize that she was probably screening his calls like that, too. 

His attention flashed to the window seeing the sun high in the sky and figuring that it was probably around noon when his stomach growled. He sat up and looked at her, eyes still puffy and hair still disheveled, but looking more relaxed. 

“Are you hungry?” Harry asked, “I was going to go make some lunch.”

Zoey shrugged, “A little.”

“What would you like?”

“Whatever you’re having is fine, thanks,” Zoey avoided eye contact, seeming embarrassed. 

Harry nodded, pushing the covers off of himself and dragging his feet out of the room, touseling his hair. He made it to the kitchen when he realized he was no longer wearing his beanie and that it must have fallen off while he was sleeping. There was a note on the counter that had quick scribble written in sharpie that read: “H and Zo, running out to a meeting. Be back around dinner. Text me if you need anything. Love, Nancy”.

 He grinned, rummaging through the fridge for something to eat, thinking back to a year ago. There was a point in time just before he met Nancy and Rory when everything seemed to be going so well for the singer, he had amazing success in his solo career, he was able to see his family more frequently and take breaks, surrounded himself with great people, but somehow he still felt alone and down. He was missing something and he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. Then he met Nancy and Aurora at a charity dinner and they seemed to add a sense of comfort and true friendship in his life that he was missing on the west coast. 

But Zoey was the missing piece. When he met her, he felt like he understood what a soulmate was, which was weird, because he wasn’t sure he totally believed in soulmates and always figured that a soulmate was something to romanticize. And maybe in certain situations it was, but for him, it was something completely different. For him, it was someone whom he could tell absolutely anything to without judgment or fear of abandonment. Someone he could sit in complete silence for hours and be at peace. Someone whom he didn’t have to impress or put on an act with. Someone whom he could love with every ounce of his being, even just platonically, and whom he could share every bit of each other’s pain or happiness. 

He knew that sounded crazy. They’d only been friends for a couple of months, but he felt it in his bones. He had met someone who would be in his life, through any trials and turbulence, for quite possibly the rest of his life. He was certain of it. He saw it in flashes while he dreamt. She would be there when he fell in love. She would be there when he got his heart broken. She would be there when he found the one, and when he would fall in love all over again when his children are brought into the world. She would be there through the tough parenting trials. She would be there for his future family during the lengthy, lonely tours and business trips, and celebrate the endless nominations and awards, and he was grateful to have met a friend like her. He could only hope that she felt that way, too.

Harry finally decided on making some grilled cheeses for himself and Zoey, grabbing a couple of bottles of water before carefully carrying them back to Zoey’s room. He heard faint muffles from the other side of the door, and when he pushed it open he saw Zoey sitting up, phone pressed to her ear, a tear rolling down her cheek, and her free hand fidgeting with his beanie. Her attention snapped in his direction when she noticed him walking in and she scooted over a bit to let Harry back into the bed while responding to the person on the phone.

“Not tonight. I’m off on Tuesdays and Wednesdays,” she said. After a pause, she continued, “No. Thankfully I made some pretty great friends over here who are keeping me company. She would have really loved them.” 

Harry looked down at his food and smiled, knowing she was talking about him as she finished the conversation. 

“Of course, no problem. Thank you again for this opportunity, it’s been more helpful than I ever thought it could be. Okay, love you both. Bye.”

Zoey ended the call and wiped the tear from her cheek, looking up at Harry with a soft grin. She had fixed her hair, pulling it to a neater messy bun, and her eyes weren’t as puffy, though still bloodshot. She must have read his face because she informed him, “It was Jess’s parents.”

Harry’s mouth formed an ‘o’ and he nodded, “How are they holding up?”

She shrugged, “It’s hard. They were going through old pictures of us when we were younger when I called. They said I’ll always be family and they’re happy I found some good friends out here. Thank you, by the way.”

“Oh, no problem,” Harry held up half of his hot grilled cheese sandwich, pulling a corner of the triangle piece to his mouth, “it’s technically your food, I just put it together.”

She snorted, “I meant for coming. I thought I could handle it on my own, but I guess I was wrong. I didn’t realize it until I saw you.”

Harry put an arm around her shoulder and squeezed her into his side, “Zoey, I don’t know how many times you want me to say it, but I’ll always find a way to be there for you. You just lucked out that I’m off during this.”

“How pissed are your management?”

“...I’ll probably get an earful l when I go back.”

Zoey laughed and asked, “Do Nancy and Rory know you’re here?”

He nodded, “I called them when I landed. I just missed Rory. She had apparently just left before I got here, but I talked to Nancy for a little. She just left a note for us to let us know she was going to a meeting. She said she’d be back tonight.”

Zoey nodded, taking a small bite of her grilled cheese. The clouds from the storm were so dark that it cast a gray light into her room, making her more relaxed as the two pulled Zoey’s laptop between them and played ‘The Sandlot’ in the background while Zoey talked, finally saying everything that’s been on her mind for the past week. It was hard at first, trying to control her emotions. But the more she talked, the more she understood that she didn’t have to control her emotions. In fact, Harry didn’t want her to control it, he wanted her to feel how she needed to feel.

“Don’t bottle it up. That’s not how you get better. Lean into it. Cry if you need to. Scream if you feel it. But don’t hold it back. It’s just you and me, you’re safe,” he told her.

And she felt it, too. Safe. She wondered how she ever went through life before knowing him. How she ever felt safe before him. Whatever she thought safe was before him was something else entirely. He provided her with a sense of comfort and belonging she never thought existed. He never made her feel inferior or silly beyond the sense of joking. It was hard to imagine that just a few short months ago Harry Styles was just some famous, hot, British singer on the radio and in magazines who didn’t even know she existed. Now, it was hard to picture him as anything more than, what she would consider him to be, her best friend. 

Hours had past and the movie had long since been over as they continued to talk and she found herself finally starting to laugh and smile again. Her phone went off a couple more times, noticing another call from her ex-boyfriend and one from Brett, but she was finally feeling a little bit like her old self again and she didn’t want to ruin that right now. Instead, they talked about Harry and his tour, stories of life on the road, and a few fan encounters.

“I don know how you do it. How do you feel safe?” 

Harry shrugged, “I guess I’m just used to it. You never really fully let your guard down. You’re always cautious, but you don’t really think about it after a while.”

Zoey nodded, “I guess the attention isn’t all that bad. Especially for a single guy. But...what’s even going on with that? Made any decision yet on what you want to do about Rory?”

Harry pushed out air through his nose in a sigh and relaxed his shoulders, dropping his head, “I have no clue,” he groaned, “Honestly, I’ve been avoiding thinking about it and just pretending like that conversation never happened because I liked the way things were when we were just TALKING. It was easier then. And it kind of feels like we’re getting back to that, too, so I’m hoping she just forgot about it.”

Zoey shook her head, raising an eyebrow, “Harry,” she warned, “girls never forget. Don’t wait too long or you’ll lose her.”

He huffed, “I know. I just need more time to think. One thing at a time. Right now I’m focusing on you.”

Zoey chuckled, “Well, thank you, but don’t forget to focus on yourself, too. And maybe don’t tell her that. I know you mean well, but no woman wants to know that you’re focusing on another girl, even if it’s just a friend.”

Harry laughed, ruffling his hair, “Yeah, maybe not the smartest thing to say.” They settled when Harry asked, “What do you want to do tomorrow? It’ll be just me and you.”

Zoey shrugged, “I really want to go to the beach, but we definitely can’t do that.”

“Why not?”

Zoey looked at him as though he grew five heads, “Hello? Did you forget you’re famous? You’ll definitely be recognized.”

“I can get away with it in big crowds. Too many people are distracted. You just have to keep moving.”

“And your tattoos won’t tip them off?” she pointed out.

“I can just wear a long sleeve shirt if it’ll make you feel more comfortable.”

“It’ll be a trillion degrees!”

Harry waved her off, “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry. We’re going to the beach.”

Eventually, there was a knock on Zoey’s door. She called for whoever it was to come in and Nancy poked her head in, holding two dome-topped cups filled with chocolate milkshakes, Binx scurrying in behind her and leaping onto her bed.

“I brought these for you,” Nancy warily chimed, edging in.

Zoey smiled brightly at her, scratching the top of Binx’s head and taking hold of hers while Harry grabbed the other, “Thank you, Nancy,” she said.

Nancy grinned, happy to see her friend in better spirits. “I just got off the phone with Rory. She’s on her way back, but we were thinking about getting some Chinese for dinner if you want any.”

“I actually just ordered some postmates,” Harry informed her, “should be here any minute. But thank you.”

She nodded and excused herself from the room when Zoey’s phone rang again. She held it up to see the screen and sighed.

“That’s the fourth time this Mikey person called today. Why do you keep ignoring it? Is it some weirdo stalker from your work not getting the hint or something?”

Zoey shook her head, “No, it’s my ex-boyfriend.”

Harry’s eyes widened, “Oh.”

The phone screen went blank and she groaned, “I should probably talk to him, shouldn’t I? He’s probably having a rough time with Jess, too. He WAS there when it happened, too.”

Harry shrugged, unsure of what to say. Zoey thought for a moment before pressing the ‘Return Call’ button, listening as the phone dialed out, feeling bad that it had taken this long to reach out to him. He didn’t have anyone in his life that knew Jess that well. Zoey was lucky that Harry was here, she couldn’t imagine how she’d feel right now if he weren’t, so she could only imagine how Michael felt.

“Hey,” Michael answered, his voice low and sullen.

“Hey,” Zoey greeted, feeling Harry’s eyes on her, “How are you feeling?”

She heard Michael sigh, “I don’t know. Pretty shitty. Left work early today. But now I’m by myself and this sucks.”

“I know,” Zoey soothed, “What about your friends? What’s Dan doing? Can he come over to keep you company?”

Michael huffed, “He’s with Becky. But I wouldn’t want him to come over anyway. He’d just try to make jokes or play video games and I’m not in the mood for that right now. I wish you were here.”

Zoey frowned, “I’m sorry, Mikey. I would if I could.”

“Can’t you come back and visit? Just for a little?”

“I can’t. I’ve got a job. I’ve got friends here. I can’t just leave.”

There was a moment of silence before he spoke, “You really made a whole new life for yourself out there, didn’t you?”

“Mikey…” Zoey cautioned, looking at Harry who she was pretty sure could hear the conversation as his eyebrow raised and his head tilted.

Michael stammered, “I know, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. It’s just...hard for me. We were together for four years. I can’t get over you that quickly. I just miss you.”

“I know, I miss you, too,” Zoey responded, looking down at Binx who was nuzzling his head into her lap, a little embarrassed as this phone call was a lot more intimate and personal than she expected, feeling sorry that Harry had to hear this, “Well, it’s late there. Try and get some rest. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay. I love you, Zoey.”

“I love you, too. Get some sleep.”

Zoey ended the call and gently tossed her phone to the side, hesitating before she looked up at Harry, his expression all sorts of confused.

“Sorry,” Zoey blushed, “Conversations with him lately are usually like that, I was just hoping that this one would be different.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, “I’m confused. Are you guys broken up? I thought you were seeing Brett?”

“Brett and I are a different story, but yes, Michael and I are broken up.”

“But you still tell each other I love you?”

“I mean, yeah,” Zoey shrugged, looking Harry in the eyes, “I was with him for four years. He was there with me during the most traumatic moments of my life. And he’s always been good to me. I’ll always love him. I’m just not IN love with him.”

“So you don’t want to be with him?”

Zoey laughed, shaking her head, “You seem awfully confused for a guy who’s still friends with practically all of his ex-girlfriends.”

Harry’s eyebrows relaxed and his lips twitched into a smile, laughing, “True. But I don’t tell them I love them.”

“But you do,” Zoey quipped, “Just because you fall out of love doesn’t mean you don’t still have a love for that person. There will always be a piece of you that loves them, it’s just not as great as it once was. That’s why you’re still friends with them. Because you still care about them on some kind of level.”

Harry stared at her for a moment before smiling his perfect, toothy smile, “You’re too wise for your own good.”

KEEP READING

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

------------------------------

Taglist:

@thurhomish 

[koolcatkenma]

Hey! :) I saw you wanted to do prompts, so maybe IwaOi with a "choose me" angst prompt?

so i am sorry this took so long to write, and u bet i am thinking of a part 2 already >:)

Thinking back, it must have started sometime in high school. But if Tooru sat down and really thought about it, his feelings had started developing much earlier. But he didn’t want to face that reality. Not now. Not ever.

Now, in his second year of university, Tooru was regretting every decision that had led him to his current situation. He was standing outside of the cafe the pair used to regular, picking up a late dinner after an especially successful practice. It hadn’t changed.

Inside was near empty, save for a few customers browsing the selection of pastries offered. Glancing at his watch, Tooru realized he was early. Taking a deep breath, the boy pushed open the door and headed to the counter to order.

Minutes later he was sitting in their usual seat in the corner, by the window. His coffee sat steaming, too hot to enjoy. His arms were crossed, eyes trained on the door. Any minute now, they would arrive. Hajime had never been one to be late. 

Sure enough, his long-time friend walked in just seconds later. The sight of him almost knocked the breath out of Tooru’s lungs. Hajime had always been attractive, but his second year of university was doing wonders for him. No longer a bench warmer but the university volleyball team’s vice-captain, he had filled out, even more so, muscles visible under the thin t-shirt he wore. His skin was tanned, shorts riding up to show off a slight tan line. He was taller somehow, or he stood straighter. In high school, he would keep his hair short and barely use any product. Now he had an undercut, the top of his head styled so it was almost windswept. He had stubble too; it was insanely hot.

When their eyes met, a smile lit up his face and he waved. Tooru almost returned the gesture, but his hand fell back into his lap as his eyes traveled to behind his friend. There a girl, petite in stature. She seemed shy, gripping the back of Hajime’s shirt, her gaze locked on the man in front of her. She wore a light blue sundress, showing off slim arms and legs, devoid of moles or imperfections. Brown hair fell past her shoulders, curled ever so slightly. Tooru had never been more envious of someone he hadn’t even met.

Of course, he knew his friend had been chatting with a girl in his year; although they went to different schools, their friends had made it a point to keep Tooru in the loop. But Tooru had expected the relationship to go nowhere as every other did. It typically lasted a month before the girl, who would have been flirting with Hajime nonstop, gave up. No matter how book smart the student claimed to be, he lacked the social skills needed to recognize when someone actually liked him. Tooru knew that all too well. 

Mentally, he checked out as soon as the pair sat down across from him. He made sure to give the appropriate responses, ask reasonable questions, and smile. He learned little about the girl next to Hajime, except that they went to the same university and were studying totally different things. And that she was the exact opposite of himself.

**

Tooru stared at his phone, scrolling through the girl’s social media. Although they weren’t even officially dating, she had the audacity to post several pictures of Iwa-chan. The boy didn’t even have any social media. He wondered if Hajime knew there were pictures of him like this on the internet. They weren’t incriminating or bad; he was smiling so bright in all of them, never looking directly at the camera. He was so beautiful.

Speak of the devil, his phone went off with a ding. Through blurry vision, he saw that it was Hajime, thanking him for meeting up today. He also asked what Tooru thought of her. Which is something he didn’t do with other girls. 

Not wanting to be mean but truthful, he sent out a blunt ‘she’s nice. opposite of what i thought ur type was’. He wanted to throw his phone at the wall.

Another ding. ‘I missed you, ya know. We should meet up more often.’

‘awe, iwa-chan missed me! what a sap’

‘Shitty-kawa. I take it back.’

‘mean!!’

And it felt like old times. 

**

Tooru dreamt dreams that felt too real, the nights after he met that girl, his now unspoken nemesis. In every one, they were back in high school and Oikawa wasn’t such a coward. He confessed to Iwaizumi, then the dream would skip to them at the same university, sharing an off-campus apartment. There would be soft kisses and cuddles, time spent out on real dates; their team would go to nationals and win. 

Hajime would choose him.

He always woke up crying. Tooru loved Hajime, and Hajime didn’t even know.

Unconsciously, the student distanced himself from his friends outside his university. He started ignoring calls, replying late to texts, skipping out on monthly meetups with his old team. He deleted social media as to not be tempted to stalk that girl. That was probably the final red flag, alerting someone that something wasn’t right.

It had been three months since that day; volleyball was nearing the end of its official season, the qualifying rounds rapidly approaching. As starting setter, his already busy days got busier, practices became longer and more frequent, and finals approached rapidly. He slept less and less, spent more nights on the court or in the library, and couldn’t remember when or what his last meal was if you asked him. But he was going to nationals if it killed him. 

Exhaustion pulled at his body, weighing him down. The dark circles under his eyes almost made it look like someone had clocked him. His movements outside of practice were sluggish; more than once did he dozes off during a lecture. Maybe if he had been more alert he could have avoided the way too familiar face standing outside his favorite study cafe.

When their eyes met, Tooru had half a mind to just turn and run. The other half, the sleep-deprived half, told him differently and won. His legs continued to take him towards his friend, his face staying neutral. He knew he looked like shit, but the look Hajime gave him when he was close enough to see his face still hurt.

“Iwa-chan! What are you doing here?” Tooru tried to keep his voice upbeat, pushing open the door to the slightly busy cafe. Glancing around, he saw his favorite booth was open and made a beeline to it, his friend following close behind.

“Oikawa, you have us all worried. You haven’t responded to my texts in weeks.” Straight to the point, huh he thought, sighing. 

“Iwa-chan, as a fellow student you should understand! Finals and qualifiers are coming up soon~” Voice light, the boy took out his laptop and textbooks, eager to end the conversation.

Hajime took a deep breath, clearly trying to keep his frustration under control. Oikawa had no intention of telling his friend anything. But Iwaizumi wasn’t leaving without a truthful explanation. 

“You’re team secured the number one seed last week and finals aren’t for two more weeks. Tooru, what is wrong?” There was a real concern in his voice, his face pinched in worry. The boy probably didn’t even realize how much emotion he was letting slip out. Tooru was happy their booth was in a secluded corner because it all became too much. Tears welled in the corner of his eyes and threatened to spill over. He looked up at the boy he had loved for as long as he could remember and finally spoke.

“Hajime, I love you. I want you to choose me.”

help me keep writing :)

[siriuslycollins-blog]

Single Dad Jared Headcanons

1992-1999

- becoming a father was not something on jared’s to-do list, he was still 20 years old (she was born early in the year) but he thought everything would okay if he had the mother of the child on the parenthood journey with him

but everything wasn’t okay

the mother died shortly after delivery

he was heartbroken and now here he is, a 20 year old struggling actor, and now father to a newborn daughter

- plans of moving to new york are now shot as he has to take care of a baby

speaking of

instead he now travels between louisiana and california for auditions

relying on his mom and shannon to watch her while he’s away until he has enough money to rent an apartment so they could move there.

- jared gets work sometime in 1992 and he’s so happy he could cry. finally he has just enough money to get a babysitter and to fly shannon out to la

- he gets minor roles for about a year until my so called life

by now she’s two years old, and already in daycare

 the cast and crew always ask about her (let’s give her a name and call her kaela)

 which makes him to bring her to set sometimes

they all love her and fawn over her

 during his break he reads to her and watches sesame street with her

- by 1995, jared’s career is on full steam and he’s getting roles left and right, eventually landing a movie role.

which means more money coming in and he can finally afford a house 

 he can take kaela to toys r us and buy her plenty of barbie dolls and other stuff

- he finally feels like he’s able to give his daughter the life she deserves

- maybe this dad thing isn’t so hard after all, he’s managed for three years with no accidents

- until he has to leave to prepare and film for prefontaine 

shannon takes care of kaela while he’s away

 which isn’t so bad. he’s like a second father to her

but kaela still misses her father and is too young to understand why jared is away all the time

constance visits also; she misses her grandbaby

constance may or not be pressuring shannon about having kids of his own after he sees him drawing in chalk in the driveway one day

- jared and kaela preparing for “big girl school”

she loves picking out her backpack and lunch box

he knows that kaela only needs the 24 pack of crayola crayons but 64 pack WITH THE SHARPENER IN THE BACK is on the shelf above, so he gets the 64 pack

who wouldn’t want to be friends with the kid who has the 64 pack?

- jared being emotional as he drops her off

he obviously sticks out like a sore thumb

every father is either dressed in khakis or in expensive suits with shiny black shoes and gold watches with gelled back hair or clean haircuts

and here’s jared with his longish hair, wearing the t-shirt he wore to bed last night and ripped jeans. he can already tell he won’t have anything in common with any of the parents here

maybe private school wasn’t such a good idea, but it was the school closest to the house

- jared gets bored while kaela’s at school and he doesn’t know what to do with himself

the house is way too quiet

grocery shopping isn’t all that fun without her

neither is cleaning the house

he can’t even get through the day without her, how is he supposed to get through 12 YEARS?

- he gets used to it though when he hears kaela talking about her new friends during dinner

- second grade is easier as he has stuff to do for thirty seconds to mars

they have a routine going

although jared can’t drop her off anymore and kaela now has to take the school bus

he’s a little uncomfortable because now people other than his bandmates and family and friends know where he lives

 it also teaches kaela how to be a little more independent and also about time management, so a win-win.

2000-2010

- kaela’s growing up and she’s starting to form an identity outside of jared

she has her group of friends and interests

kaela is definitely a harry potter fan

jared takes her to see the movies

thirty seconds to mars is becoming more successful in the rock world

- kaela is literally growing up right in front of his eyes

she looks just like her mother

oh god, kaela needs a mother

is he ready to start dating again?

he can’t rely on his mom for everything

- kaela starts middle school and jared is FREAKING OUT

valentine’s day in middle school is his worst nightmare

why does she have so many cards from boys???

shannon, solon, and matt teasing him about it

him glaring at any boy who stares at her for too long

- at this point jared is dating cameron diaz 

when jared introduces them, kaela doesn’t know what to do

she’s happy for him, and she likes cam a lot but she’s so used to it just being the two of them it feels... odd

they do get along though

kaela being there for jared when he and cameron breaks up

- jared now considers middle school as a cake walk compared to high school

he has to restrain himself from choking fans his daughter’s age when they comment about her

 of course the media also notices how stunning the leto girl is becoming

even more valentine’s day cards from boys

yes, my daughter is very pretty now stop staring at her, boy in front of us in the trader joe’s checkout line

- just because jared’s easy going in his interviews doesn’t mean he’ll be easy going on the guy trying to take his daughter away from him

okay, maybe not take her away from him, more like date

 he’s definitely a chaperone on dates

if jared’s not available then shannon goes

- kaela having her first boyfriend is very emotional for jared

he’s jared’s worst nightmare, the stereotypical l.a. rich kid. seriously kaela, wtf are you thinking?

he’s lowkey manipulative af (let’s call him brandon)

like that time kaela got asked to promote a clothing line. jared was happy for her, brandon, not so much

thankfully kaela dumped him before senior year

- speaking of senior year

kaela is busier than ever. she’s filling out college applications and going to college interviews every time he turns around

jared doesn’t have to pay schools to get kaela a spot in school unlike certain celeb parents. kaela works for everything she has, thank you very much

- when graduation is around the corner, he’s an emotional wreck

invitations have been sent

kaela already has a school picked out, louisiana state university to be exact

it’s also closer to constance if she needs to get away sometimes

and also closer to her mom’s side (jared knows about kaela contacting relatives from her mom’s side, and he’s happy that his daughter is getting to know them)

- jared and shannon almost fighting other parents to get the perfect shots of their kids 

did i forget to mention that kaela’s valedictorian?

jared being so incredibly proud of his little girl who is not a little girl anymore

 hearing his daughter’s full name and seeing her walk across the stage brings him to tears

her mom would be so proud

he knows that kaela’ s going to be successful no matter what she chooses to do in life

present

- kaela is absolutely stunning; she’s in her 20s now and the media always do those transformation things complete with slideshows 

she chose a profession that she loves and is passionate about

jared, shannon, constance and everyone else are so proud of her

it requires her to travel A LOT so jared has a hard time keeping track but they talk/facetime every week

kaela being in the city of angels video and it also showed pictures and videos of her growing up 

kaela being best friends with chloe since jared introduced them

-kaela is also instagram goals

she’s friends with plenty of celebs and has a good following on social media

kaela still has her own life and career that’s not in the entertainment industry

but damn does she know how to take a good selfie

- kaela helping her uncle with his coffee company

she works pop up shops around the country if she’s able to do it

kaela and shannon are partners in crime

they also drum together too

shannon being a Proud Uncle

is this really the same kid who he used to push on the swing sets and watch disney movies with?

- no matter how old kaela gets, she’s always gonna be jared’s little girl. 

this was made with @echelongaga

[speckeh]

Speckeh’s 2018 Book List

It’s 2018! Last year my book list was a decent size but I didn’t read a lot of sparkling novels! So this year I’m focusing on decent books with the occasional textbook thrown in!

1. Cappiello: The Posters of Leonetto Cappiello: 5/5 stars. I haven’t had time to sleep more than 8 hours let alone time to breathe to read book this semester. I’ve never been busier which has been a nice experience, but boy do I miss reading books! I found this at Tuesday Morning 40% off and it’s huge and beautiful and needed it. I love this book! Cappiello has a wonderful drawing style. He draws multiple body shapes, various commercial posters, and GINGERS. HE DRAWS SO MANY BEAUTIFUL RED HAIRED LADIES. I’M SO FUCKING THRILLED. If you find this book hella cheap and have the shelf space for it, it’s a great art book to have! 

2. The Elements of Rhetoric - How to Write and Speak Clearly: 4/5 stars. This is for my Proposal Writing and Development class. Everything this book states, I’ve already read or learned about in Argument Writing during summer last year so nothing really jumps out as me as amazing or eye opening. The writer does some relevant story telling with the different styles of rhetoric to use and how to use them effectively, but it’s not the greatest read. I’ll probably keep it as it’s a great little book for quick glossary terms or brushing up on information. If this is your jam, this might be a cheap book you can add to your academic shelf!

3-4. Kamisama Darling Vol 1 and 2: 5/5 stars. 

5. Namae mo Shiranai Machiawase 4/5 stars

6. Star Trek Cats: 5/5 stars. I hung out with one of my quickly growing best friends yesterday and I saw this book when we were in the humor section. My heart MELTED. I read this as B&N and even though it’s short, I needed to buy it. It’s one of my favorite art humor books I’ve flipped through recently. It’s full of episode jokes and just fucking ADORABLE cats that make the weirdest faces.

7. The Prophet: 5/5 stars. Another book I bought with one of my best friends. It was recommended to me by the really nice (and very sweet) worker there who complimented me on my outfit. I was going to ask we could trade numbers and hang out and gain a new friend from her, but she was very busy. Anyways. The friend I was with told me he absolutely loved this book and it spoke to him on a spiritual level. And I have to agree. Having been raised in a mormon household and then realizing I was hella queer and questioned E V E R Y T H I N G about organized religions, this book was excellent. Because The Prophet isn’t any certain religion, he’s just giving people a way of life and he never condemns anyone or anything. The Prophet and the Siddhartha are essentially my religion. The whole belief there is no “set path” for a religious life and happy ending, that no one is right and no one is wrong in their religion, and that it depends on how you treat others and how you service others but also how you serve yourself. An excellent read for the beginning of the year for me. 

8. The Non-Profit Narrative: 2/5 stars. It’s the same for the Elements of Rhetoric book I read, I’ve read all of these terms before in my nonprofit management class so nothing was very new or interesting to me. I skipped through 70% of the book. If you want a short, short ass book on how to run nonprofits and social media, this is a great little read. If you’re already familiar with the contexts of nonprofit, don’t waste your money. 

9. When The Body Says No: 5/5 stars. This book is.. just wow. This is the first time I have ever marked up my own personal book with highlights, pens, and pencils. I only ever do it to copied school books on computer paper. It’s no secret I’ve been going to a counselor off and on since I’ve been 13. And I’ve seen and confronted death for a long time. I’m very traumatized from my experiences and I have a lot of issues I don’t really deal with. My counselor told me to read this book because I am the post child of when your body says no for you when you can’t. And I am. It’s.. amazing how well he knows me and my experiences I’ve been through. I learned amazing facts about myself how my childhood forced me into emotional repression, that children who lose a parent before 17 are 40% more likely to develop cancer, that the underlying stress of never being able to say no to your family because you don’t want to disappoint them causes a turmoil in your body that can turn deadly. If you have anger issues, stress disorders, genetic diseases, autoimmune disease, any sort of illness you developed later as an adult, read this book. Because I promise you, you’ll find something about you you never knew about.

10. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao: 3/5 stars. This was a book I had to read for my intro to English literature class (I’m changing emphasis so I have to take more entry level classes BLEGH). While I did devour this book so fast, I wasn’t particularly impressed with this book. I guess I’m kind of sick of the narrative of “geeky boy is a virgin and hates himself and the world,” and people around him either patting his back or deciding to take it upon themselves to fix him, no matter what cultural background they are. While I’m thrilled I could read about a Dominican cultural and have a non-white narrative and characters, this book didn’t sparkle to me. Maybe it’s because this book wasn’t written for me, or maybe I don’t really care for Diaz’s writing style. Either way I barely earned a 3 stars from me.

11. Pictures of the Gone World: 4.5/5 Stars I bought this book at a liquidation sale. I either find amazing poetry books at random, or duds. Luckily this was a fantastic one that held a lot of elements I love in poems: historical themes and humor. He helped pushing and defend one of my new favorite poets, Allen Ginsberg so you know I have mad respect for him. This was his first poetry book and he quickly became famous in the beat poetry world. Compared to other poets, he’s definitely a easier one to get into for beginners but the words still hold beauty and harsh truths. Definitely a great way to introduce yourself to beatnik poetry!

12. I Capture The Castle: 5/5 stars. Do you ever pick up a book that’s been calling to you for ages and by the fifth page in you know you have a new best friend? I’m not one for first person narratives, it takes a special way of writing it to keep my interest. I Capture The Castle with repressed and writer’s voice of a 40 year old woman from 17 year old Cassandra just melted my heart. I have a soft spot for Dodie Smith and she won me over with this book. From the beautiful scenery of a decaying castle, to a 17 year old’s first encounter with love, it’s just so so captivating. it hasn’t been since the Shadow of the Wind that my heart literally raced and I couldn’t read fast enough to know what happened next. And the last sentence of Cassandra’s journal of “I love you, I love you, I love you,” keeps playing over and over in my head. If you want to get lost in a old English castle and a young girl’s narrative, you will not regret picking this book up. 

13. A Concise History of Hawai’i: 3/5 Stars. I’ve always wanted to know about my birth state since we moved away when I was too young to remember anything. I’ve always been called a island girl and have had a fascination with water. I stopped being interested in calling Hawai’i my birth state because I was so young and my family memories are bitter sweet. But I finally returned to Hawai’i in May 2016, and I was shocked to feel like I was Home. I’ve been missing Hawai’i like crazy and have been trying to read this book forever. I bought it on my trip there. Well I finished it. It was pretty interesting, it’s concise, and quick and I learned a lot. But the book also brings up an important question.Can a white man write about a cultural history on Hawai’i? I’m not sure and I was somewhat bothered by that question throughout the book so that dampened my star rating. I feel like a history of Hawai’i would be so different and way more vibrating if a Native Hawaiian had written it. But, if you want a general and quick history of Hawai’i from the formation to 1999, it’s a decent read.

14. Wyoming Poems 1994: 5/5 Stars. I really like this short poetry book. It’s only 26 poems and all about Wyoming and the life there. It’s from 1995 so you know it’s more of a modern take on Wyoming. Definitely a great little book. Really debating on joining the Wyoming Writer’s mailing list ahah!!

15-21: Various Manga. between 3-5/5 stars.

22. Secret Garden: 10 minutes classics: 2/5 stars. I love the Secret Garden. It’s one of my top 5 books of all time in my life and will always be in the top 5. The 10 minute classic books is great for a reader wanting a short synopsis of the Secret Garden and it has lovely pictures, but it really loses the magic, the world building, and the characters’ relationships in just 10 minutes. I’ll probably keep the book just because of lovely pictures, but it was a let down!

23. Lovers Legends: The Gay Greek Myths. 4/5 stars. My love for reading and history can be pinpointed exactly to D’Aubaires’ Book of Greek Myths. It planted the seeds of my career ambitions, the types of research I love to conduct, and the person who I am. I always knew the Greeks were more gay than society teaches children, but this book really paints it simple for you. First off, it uses a poem by one of my favorites Allen Grinsberg, and then the author reiterates the gay greek myths in clear and easy stories, and shows how they all connect. The symposium style chapters were long and tedious and I ended up skipping them, and the book really only has 110 pages of stories with the next 80+ being sources, research, and a bibliography. Either way, love me some truth bomb gay ass greek myth!!

24. Colonel Brandon’s Diary: 4/5 Stars. I’m a sucker for Austen continuations or different perspectives. It comes from a personal reason from childhood memories with one of my parents. I’ve read 2 other of Amanda Grange’s diaries of Austen men. Brandon is not my favorite Austen hero and while the book I liked him enough, he doesn’t sparkle as much as say Knightley for me. I’m sure as I get older I may like him more, but for now it was nice to read a 300 page version of Sense and Sensibility that is a great companion novel for like.. better spark notes. If you need a quick summer read to last you a day or two, I highly suggest Amanda Grange’s books! (Except for Pride and Prejudice and Pyramids. That was just… bad)

25. Reunion by Fred Uhlman 5/5 Stars: I really started to enjoy World War II stories, but fictional ones about non-American centric stories. Reunion is a beautiful, fast read, about a teenaged Jewish boy who meets a handsome and captivating Lord’s son at his school. It really is about a first love. Hans is obsessed with Konradin; he thinks he’s handsome, educated, and lonely like him. The two go off on trips, Konradin often comes to his house, they read poetry and discuss coins together. It’s very easy to think of Konradin and Hans sharing firsts. It’s a beautiful little story that wrenched my gut with the very last line, and the descriptions had me drawing little scenes in the book. If you have 3-4 hours to spare, this is a great read if you can get it.

26. Instructions to a Young Bookseller: 5/5 Stars. As someone hoping to enter the book world after graduating University, this was a great little read. Obviously any sort of written conference has an edge of boring to it. But the book is full of gem quotes and advice that can be used for anything and not just young booksellers. If you’re able to find this book (most likely in the Heffer bookstore at Cambridge) give it a read. It’s a short 46 pages but a great way to pass the time and to give you advice that transcends passed 1933.

27. Among the Janeites: 2/5 Stars. I wasn’t impressed with this book, which is a shame because I desperately wanted to like this book. I loved when Yaffe described and told the stories of her fellow Janeites, but I really couldn’t stand her narration. I don’t know if it’s because I’m annoyed by the “I’m an elite Jane Austen fan because of these reasons” or I just don’t like the way she writes her narratives. Sometimes, you just don’t clash well with a author. I applaud her efforts to write this book, but I have to admit I was disappointed that she admitted she only focused on white North American Jane Austen fans. What a waste!! How amazing would it have been to have read more diverse fans? Hear about their efforts, their stories? Instead I found myself reading some of the same stories over and over again. I didn’t even finish the last two chapters because everything was the same rhythm and nothing was interesting any more. I wanted to put down the book many times, but found I couldn’t whenever I read the stories of those who did amazing things with their Jane Austen passions. But other than that, kind of disappointed I brought this book on my trip to England. :/

28. Tea with Mr. Rochester: 4/5 Stars. Sometimes a collection of short stories takes me awhile to read, this was not one of those!! I have had my eye on this book from Persephone’s for at least 2 years now, and I finally got to go to the shop two weeks ago! I really enjoy the literary metaphors and the descriptions are beautiful, but Towers has a way of writing that has you go: “..did.. did I skip a page?” Often the story would jump and you would feel confused of where the characters are now, how much time had passed, and how did these two characters meet. The lack of background, time, and setting is discombobulating, but not too distracting from enjoying it! If you have the pleasure of going to Persephone’s Book, definitely give this book a try!

29. For Your Eyes Only: 4/5 stars. I think I’m now a little more than halfway done with the original James Bond series! For Your Eyes Only is very different as these are short stories. Some of them are action pact while others are Bond at dinner parties listening to stories. It was an entirely new take and very interesting for sure! Some of the stories were hard to get through, slow, which is why I dropped it down to four stars, but a lot of them were really fun. I especially loved Quantum of Solace which explained the title and now I’m wanting to rewatch the film now knowing the definition of the phrase. I can tell that Ian Flemming is now aware of his homoerotic writing with James Bond and is starting to cut it out, which is a real shame since they’re so beautiful. But his obsession with eating eggs for nearly every meal is back which made me happy! I’ll have to see in the next book if the homoeroticness comes back!

30. This One Summer: 4/5 stars. Ranted and raved about since the debut of this comic, with one of my favorite illustrators who drew SuperMutant Magic Academy, an awarded comic! And I can’t help but feel disappointed in the story. I know this is directed at teens and if I had read this when I was between 13-16 it would have BLOWN my mind. Now at 23, this isn’t the most poignant story. I think it’s important for teens but it isn’t really for me. I’ll probably gift this comic to my friend Ramona because I think she will like this comic a lot. But for me it’s just.. beautiful artwork. But nothing much more than that. 

31. The Alchemist: 3/5 stars The Alchemist was suggested to me by my BFF and my other friend told me he hated it. I’m in between. While I understand why some people absolutely LOVE this book and I appreciate that the author had a passion for his story and didn’t settle for rejection, I think the story is lacking a lot of magic and luster it could have had. It’s kind of like a book trying to follow after The Little Prince in an Arabic/South American story with a christian spin to it. I enjoyed reading it and experiencing a well loved story, but I gave it to another friend and I kind of regret buying it from a story and not borrowing it from a library.

32. Omae no Koi wa Ore no Mono: 5/5 stars. Good manga. Lovely characters. Story is good. I enjoyed it thoroughly!

33. The Fall of America: 4/5 stars. Allen Ginsberg is my second favorite poet right behind Billy Collins. After reading Howl and falling in love with everything, this book was a let down. A lot of the poems were loooong run ons that seemed to forget what he was trying to talk about. My favorites were when he was un-ashamedly GAY and talking about sucking cock and having sex with guys, and a very real Vietnam war poem, but the rest was very on the fence. If I didn’t love him so much I would have skipped a lot of the poems in this book. But I also know this is a similar complaint from other readers. It’s hard to follow after such a massive success and nationally known poetry book of Howl, but he did his best. Not all of your own poems will be sparkling and rich in something new and world opening. 

34-36. Various Manga: 34 5/5 stars, 35 4/5 stars, 36 4/5 stars. 

37. Twisted Romance Volume 1: 2/5 stars. While some of the stories were beautiful and drawn amazing, I felt like the collection was disjointed and didn’t go very well. It was weird to have a comic book also be split up between stories with a written novel. I’m sure this would be someone’s cup of tea, but not mine.

38. My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness: 4/5 stars. My dear friend Ramona put the first and second novel in front of me to read while we spent like 4 hours at Barnes and Noble today. It was super fun to be with my sweet sweet friend and just, decompress. I read this book and so much of it I could relate to. Not only am I a Queer female, but I also struggle with mental health, depression, and feelings of abandoning my mother. Not to mention being touch starved. But I docked it down from a perfect score because Kabi’s narrative was so frustrating. That never ending cycle of getting so close and then self-sabotaging herself is so frustrating and makes me mad. I put the book back after I finished reading it, and then decided I had to buy it at the last moment. 

39. My Solo Exchange Diary (Sexual to My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness) Vol 2: 3/5 stars. Unlike the first book, this was even more frustrating and was hard for me to be empathetic to her. Someone who obviously struggled hard with her mental health and struggle against her parents, I felt like her Solo Exchange Diary was just an excuse to not do what she wanted. I didn’t think Kabi grew much between the two volumes which is super disappointing. As a reader you want her to be better. Though when she mentioned how her happiness is tied to abandoning her mom, OOFFFF. THAT SURE IS MEEE. 

40. Close Range: 2/5 stars. I actually stopped reading this book entirely. I started off reading the Brokeback Mountain story in this anthology, and it hooked me! Sadly, the rest of the stories didn’t capture me as much as BM. Eventually the characters bled to be the same: stoic, struggling with family, very Wyoming. That was it. It was all men, white men who struggle to be “men” and then proceed to do stupid shit/hurtful things that you want them to die over. I lost interest and I’m sad because I wanted to love this collection, but I couldn’t do it anymore. 

41. Bond By Design: 5/5 Stars.  Back in 2016, Shennelly gave me a mini version of this book and for Christmas last year I got the full version. It’s fascinating to see the drawing progression and what the art team focuses on drawing. It’s a shame to see the Daniel Craig films not having as much hand drawn art, but they were created more in the era of computer art and less relying on storyboard sketches. Needless to say, it was pretty awesome to see all the thumbnails and knowing a lot of them came to life in the films I watched! P.s. I went to the museum and Turner painting features in Skyfall over the summer! 

42. The Hobbit Comic: 4/5 stars.  This is a comic I’ve had on my shelf before I started uni so around 3-4 years it’s been sitting on my shelf waiting to be read. I picked it up because I was going on a car trip and I wanted something light and easy for the 4 1/2 hours it took to reach our destination. While the art was awesome, this was not a light read. It felt like reading the Hobbit all over again with how exact dialogue and scenes were written out. And I docked this comic down a star because I felt like I would be so overwhelmed by the reading I couldn’t enjoy the art. That’s a big problem with direct story comics. They’re so much dialogue and story they want to use, they don’t realize how tedious it becomes for a reader. Other than that, if you’re a die hard LOTR fan, this is a great edition fo the Hobbit to have! 

43. The Adventure Zone - There Be Gerblins! 5/5 stars. I started listening to The Good Brothers after Percy told me to back at the end of 2016. I started to their The Adventure Zone podcast right before my trip to Norway. I have great memories of listening to the first 3 adventures, nodding off on the plane, during down time at our various hotels, on the way back home, desperately trying to download as many possible while I had wifi. I love TAZ and so when they announced a comic book a year ago, I’ve been waiting ever since! It isn’t a let down! Where the Hobbit had issues with too much dialogue, TAZ There be Gerblins didn’t run into that issue! Also I love that even though the characters have never been officially designed, there was opportunity for diversity, AND THEY DID A TON OF DIVERSITY. Also the Director was exactly how I envisioned her and that made me so fucking happy. Please support the good boys and buy the comic if you like it!

44. Monstress Vol 3: 5/5 stars. While the art is dynamic, the plot hella feminist, interesting, so many cool female characters! The plot is still confusing volume 3 in. I might have reread the other two before reading the 3rd since it has been a year since I’ve read the book. But the darkness and “real” themes of disabilities and responsibilities is just great!

45. The White Cat: and two other stories: 5/5 stars. The art for this children’s fairytale book is gorgeous. Though some of the pictures feel like they’re a few pages behind or ahead of the events that actually happened. But JEEZ you guys! These are some fucking dark stories. A cat behead, Jack the Giant Killer, Rip Van Winkle just being lazy as FUCK. We don’t get children’s stories like this. It was an awesome edition I found that was originally 30 dollars that was for sale for 5 dollars due to a liquidation sale. It’s great. 

46. The Young Visitors or Mr. Salteena’s Plan: 5/5 stars. The Young Visitors is such a treat. I first found my copy in England in a discount shelf and loved the frayed pink cover with interesting illustrations. And then at another going out of business sale, I found a red cover and bought it without thinking much of it. I absolute LOVE this book. This story is written by a 9 year old Daisy with the themes of a true Victorian novel. An older man chasing after a young woman who falls in love with a rich young man and the older man cries at his defeat. It’s an excellent little read that is amazing from being written in 1919! I have plans to eventually see the manuscript in the museum it’s held in! I’m using my second copy as a lend out to my friends to make sure they’ve read this story!

47. What Makes My Cat Purr? : 5/5 stars My friend bought this for me at an antique mall because it melted my heart. Reasons why little kittens purr???? Mostly because you show them love??? UHHH HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS NOVEL?

48. Sock Monkey - The Glass Knob: 4/5 Stars. Sock Monkey and his friends ned to replace the door handle with glass and a random assortments. Silly, but sweet.

49. The Paper Doll Wedding: 4/5 Stars. Fun. That’s all. 

50. Spot’s Favorite Colors: 4/5 Stars. Bought this for my nephew. We used to have matching cards with this!

51. That’s Not My Dinosaur: 4/5 Stars. For my nephew! He loooves it. Touch and feel.

52. The Mitten: 5/5 Stars. This book was read to us each winter in elementary school. I bought it for my nephew!

53. Toot: 4/5 Stars. For my nephew! A book about farts!

54. Erte Art: 4/5 Stars. Erte’s art which was dazzling and seemed to be something from the 2000s rather than the 1900s. Loved the different designs of his work and that he included women of color and not just white models throughout his work!

55. Sea Prayer: 4/5 Stars. Everyone was ranting and raving about the poetry, but I love the watercolors. It was an impactful story, but I felt the story was a bit rushed. Over all beautiful.

56. The Prince and the Dressmaker: 5/5 Stars. I’ve had this comic book in my shopping cart for a year! I finally asked for it at B&N and bit the bullet. UHMMMM. GORGEOUS. 

57. HeartStopper Vol. 1: 5/5 Stars. UHM WOW. I funded this on kickstarter without really knowing much about the comic. It then sat on my shelf for a couple of months and a friend, randomly, asked me if I read it. I finally read it and goooood, I loooooved it!!!

58. Fuddles: 3/5 stars. A fat cat gets out of the house and lost, I hated it but loved the illustration.

59. Birdsong: 5/5 Stars. All the different birds and songs they sing, silly, fun. 

60. Santa’s Snow Cat: 4/5 Stars. A silly Christmas story about how Santa loses his most beloved cat in New York. 

61. The Tiger: 5/5 Stars. A dialogue-less comic about a tiger in the jungle, living its life, trying to hunt prey (unsuccessfully), and other predators. Beautiful art, I would recommend!

62. The Angel’s Game: 2.5/5 stars. Sadly, this is the second time I’ve been disappointed by Carlos. Angel’s game had a slow start. A writer being worked to death by underpaying publishers until he develops a brain tumor. He meets a mysterious man after much travesty and agrees to write him a book with no money as an issue. But as the story progresses, the narrator becomes distressed and stupid to discover the truth. He loses so much, and by the end of the book it feels like a bad fever dream. It really seems the hype after Shadow of the Wind is so hard to defeat. Hopefully his newest, final, and largest book in the quad series will be like the first. Let’s hope it’s not like the middl two!

63: Ore no Omawarisan: 5/5 stars

64: Goriyou wa Keikakuteki ni: 4/5 stars. 

65. The Shotgunner: 3/5 stars. As I was trying to compile my favorites of 2018, I realized I completely missed three books?? Shotgunner was finished the last day of 2018 and I think I was just totally exhausted from everything. The book was extremely silly but fast paced. A man wanted for murder runs back to his home town to find his brother has been murdered and his widow (an old fling)  needs his help to get out of town. It doesn’t end how you think it would and it seemed to move in a very fast paced way. It wasn’t my favorite western book I’ve read, but it certainly had layers to it I wasn’t expecting!

[joshpup]

Reconnected // Pt. 1

Word Count: 1,795 Member: Joshua Genre: friends to lovers au, fluff Summary: actually based off a real life experance for me, except its not joshua hong and the guy is weird. Anyways, just the adventures of two close friends who reconnect after a long time apart and the adventure life brings them on.

You had honestly forgotten about him. You’d spent your most blissful years of your childhood with him. You parents had been friends before you were born, so naturally the two of you spent your first few early years together. Your first few memories involved him. But, as fate is a cruel thing, he moved away around the age of five. As time went on, the memories faded with each passing year. You went on with your daily life, moving on from elementary school, to middle school to high school. Something here or there would remind you he was still around. Your mom would unearth old baby photos of the two of you, or the rare moments he would actually post something on one of his social medias, but outside of that, nothing came from it. The two of you never spoke, never tried to reconnect, nothing. You never had any reason too. He lived hours away from you, there was simply no point in trying. But this all changed in the course of one day. 

Ironically it was a wedding that reconnected the two of you. His family made the journey all the way back to where you were, but you hadn’t thought much of it, as you were busier thinking about the fact that you were a bridesmaid in the said wedding. Seventeen years had passed since he had moved. And it had maybe been seven years since you’d last seen him. Oh, how things have changed since then. So many things where making you nervous that day, but surprisingly, him being there was what made you so nervous, not being the maid of honor, or having to give a speech about the bride and groom. No, it was the fact that he was going to be there. You were going to see your childhood friend, Joshua Hong, after many long years. 

“At least I’m all fancy and dressed up...” you had mumbled to yourself and you examined the make-up that had been applied be an actual make-up artist. “This is probably the nicest I'm going to look until my own actual wedding.” 

When the Hong family finally arrived, the wedding party was getting their pictures taken. While no one else noticed, being too busy to make sure they looked good in all the photos, you saw them come up out of the corner of your eye. You had expected to see the same little middle schooler you’d seen those seven years ago, stuck in an emo phase, except this time maybe a little taller but oh how you were wrong. He was by far the most stunning person to ever walk the earth, you didn’t need to be up close to see that. You could feel you heart flutter around in your chest. Part of you wanted to walk away and run up and hug your once closest friend and catch up on all the years that you had missed with him, and the other part of you wanted to run away as fast as possible and completely ignore the stunning boy. How did the runny nose kid you’d once known turn into this? 

In the end, you didn’t have time to speak with him before the wedding. By the time pictures where over, you’d lost sight of him and his family, and then it was time for the wedding. The evening went by in a blur. You smiled on as you watched the bride and groom get married, and then made your way to the head table for dinner. But it was when the newlyweds went off to take sunset pictures that you were left to your own devices. Being the socially awkward human that you are, you made your way to every table except his. You could tell he was looking at you, how could anyone not? He had been watching you the whole evening, but now was more noticeable than ever. You didn’t even think he was trying to make it subtle. His eyes were fixed on you, but every time you tried to lock eyes, he quickly looked away. 

When you finally made it over to his table, what else would you do but go straight to talking to his mom, not even offering a glance at Joshua. And he was the same way, staring off to the other side of the room as if no one had just walked up to his table. As expected, the conversation with his mom ended up turning into a conversation about him, his mom delicately crafting a way to pull him into the conversation by force. Bless Mrs. Hong. Without her, the two of you would never have reconnected. Something as simple as talking about your senior year in high school and the different classes you were taking was enough to tear down the awkward wall between you. The two of you caught up with each other until the newlyweds came back, and then it was time for you to give your speech. You were nervous, but more nervous that Joshua Hong, someone who almost demanded attention in the gentlest of ways, would be watching your god awful public speaking. 

Honestly, you blacked out during the speech, but when the others told you that your speech had brought people to tears, you considered the job well done. When the dancing started, you found yourself gravitating over to Joshua again. How this happened, you’re not really sure, but you basically spent the whole night standing next him. The two of you would get separated for some reason or another, and then within minutes somehow, you’d both end up in the same place. 

“Have you thought of any colleges you want to go to?” Joshua asked over the booming music. 

“Are you trying to give anxiety and kill me?” you fired back. Joshua let out a loud laugh that could probably have cured cancer. Man, it was nice to see him again. 

“So how long are you going to be here?” you questioned. 

“We have to head back tonight because I have one of the main practices for a concert I’m apart of tomorrow.” Joshua explained, his face falling a little. You can’t say you’re any different, you’d at least hoped for another day for your two families to go out and get lunch together or something. You, however, didn’t say any of this out loud, but instead wished him the best of luck and said that you hope to one day be there to see him perform. 

It seemed like the rest of the night didn’t last that long. Soon it was time for the sendoff, and as the newlyweds drove away for their honeymoon, sheer chaos ensued. Everything related to the wedding had to be cleaned up and packed away before the deadline the venue had given you. You said your rushed good-byes to the Hong family, wishing them safe travels, said a few cheeky comments to Mrs. Hong, earning a giggle and like that, they were gone. Getting his phone number to stay in touch hadn’t even crossed your mind. You were busier trying to locate a car to start shoving things in. You hiked up your long, floor length dress and quickly grabbed armfuls of things and threw them into the backseat of a various cars, then got handed a set of car keys and told to drive it home. You didn’t even know how to get back home from the venue, but if it meant being able to go home and take of the long dress and heavy makeup, you were down. 

As you hooked up your music to the car’s stereo, Joshua Hong came back to the front of your mind. 

“He sure has grown up a lot. I bet he has people all over him at his school.” you mused, chuckling a bit to yourself. 

When you got home, you did exactly what you had planned to do. You ripped of the dress and changed into sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, then threw your hair up in a messy bun, planning to wash out the heavy amount of hair spray the next morning. It took two makeup wipes to get as much as you could off. You were sure not all of it was off, but you were just too tired to care. You climbed into your bed and slipped under the warm covers and was out within seconds. 

The following two days were just as crazy. Extended family was in and out of the house over the two days, eating all the food and being as loud as humanly possible. The long-expected family drama finally broke out and the Hong’s where far from your mind by this point. Things had gone back to normal. The Hongs were hours away, living their own very different lives, while you were here, just trying to make it day by day. Finally, Monday rolled around, probably the only time you were ever going to be happy it was a Monday. Monday meant back to school, which meant you had a solid excuse to leave the extended family behind. 

It was a normal Monday. Boring and tiring as always. That is, until lunch rolled around. You sat down with your three closest friends, excited to spend the only lunch you had with them that week, and tell them all the crazy things that occurred over the weekend and during the wedding itself. You glanced down at your phone to check the time but something else caught your eye. You picked up your phone and looked at it closer. It was an Instagram notification from none other than Josh Hong. 

“Oh my god.” you mumbled. 

“What?” your best friend sitting next to you asked, leaning over your shoulder to take a look. You opened up the notification to find that Josh had direct messaged you on Instagram, saying that he had meant to ask you at the wedding, but had forgotten, so instead he figured he would just ask you about it over a DM. at the end of the message was his phone number. He had seriously planned to ask you for your number that night? Or did he just want it know and was going to play it off like that? Either way, you were in complete shock. You don’t even remember how you got your best friends phone number, but it had always been to connect for a school project, or to keep in contact for school clubs. No one had ever given you their number just to stay in touch, let alone a guy. The again this was runny nose Joshua Hong, your childhood best friend, this didn’t mean anything more than just trying to stay connected, right?

[chancemedley116]

Answering 50 quarantine asks

Asked by @whatqueen-wildcats via my other blog because I reblogged to the wrong one again lolol

1. Are you enjoying yourself? Yeah, things are going alright. 

2. Do you miss how life used to be? Things aren’t too different for me. I’m still working and taking classes, even though work is busier and classes are just online now.

3. What are you doing with your time now that you’re home? Same old stuff, mostly homework. Any free time is spent playing animal crossing though lol

4. What drinks do you have in the fridge right now? Ooh boy I’ll have to think about this one. Water, tea, orange juice, grape juice, coke zero, and pepsi. More than usual because of essential shopping. Usually it’s just tea and water.

5. What snacks do you have in your house right now? Honestly, a bag of chips for my mom and that’s it. I’m trying to snack less lately, and the only way that seems to work is if I have no snacks nearby lol.

6. When was the last time you stepped outside, and what for? I went outside to put my dog up a couple of hours ago.

7. What’s a book you hope to read while quarantined? I want to finish rereading a book I had when I was 15 or somewhere around that. It’s call Sword of the Land, and it’s awesome.

8. What’s a goal you hope to achieve while being quarantined? I want to be more productive in general, finish the semester strong, and not get sick.

9. How long do you think you can last like this? I could live like this for a very long time. I’m a huge homebody so this isn’t bothering me much at all.

10. What is the last thing you’ve read? I read an article about animal crossing this afternoon...

11. What show are you catching up on? None right now. I’m mostly listening to podcasts or watching random youtube videos.

12. Are you a “stay in pajamas all day kind"of person? Yes, definitely. Even most of my normal clothes could count as pajamas anyway.

13. What time did you go to sleep last night? Like...1ish. I wasn’t feeling well so it took me a while to fall asleep.

14. What time did you wake up today? Oh dude, I think it was 11. Like I said, wasn’t feeling well.

15. Are you staying active? I’m definitely not less active. Work has been more exhausting for sure. But I haven’t been exercising at all.

16. Are you staying hydrated? Never hydrated enough. I need to be better about that.

17. How long do you think this quarantine will last? At least another month. Probably 2 because no one here in Florida is staying home at all. :/

18. If you had to study one subject everyday for the rest of this quarantine, what would you study? See, I don’t like this question. I should say Spanish, because I’m taking it now and have to take part 2 in the Summer, but it’d probably be folklore or something related to that.

19. How much weight do you suppose you’ll put on by the time this quarantine is over? I’ll probably stay the same weight or lose weight by the end of this, because since I’m not going to school I won’t feel the need to eat fast food as much. It wasn’t a ton before, only like, once a week. But still.

20. What’s your favorite board game? For family games I’m pretty partial to the game of life and scrabble.

21. What’s your favorite card game? Rummy. A family favorite.

23. What’s your favorite tv show? My default answer is Parks and Rec, but I haven’t watched tv shows regularly in a while.

24. What’s your favorite snack? All I can think about right now is a fruit, veggie, and cheese tray.

26. What’s your favorite beverage? I want to say water, but I have fallen back into my deeeeeep love for pepsi.

27. What do you like most about the quarantine? Not having to drive an hour and a half(3 hours round trip) to get to school. I’m saving so much in gas money right now.

28. What are you finding most challenging about the quarantine? Remembering what day it is. It’s been a nightmare. Also my sleep schedule is wrecked.

29. Do you think COVID-19 is as bad as the media says it is? Yeah, man. This thing isn’t okay. I really hope it wakes people up to the desperate need for vaccines.

30. What precautions have you taken to stay safe from COVID-19? I stay at home unless absolutely necessary, and at work we have an alert to wash our hands and “touch points” every hour. But the customers are mostly jerks and haf leaned on and coughed on most of us on the reg.

31. What have you learned so far from this experience? People are being really selfish for the most part, and that most people don’t keep a fully stocked freezer.

32. Are you introverted, omniverted, or extroverted? I used to think I was a stone cold introvert, but I realized that was mostly the way I was raised and my introverted parents keeping me from socializing because they didn’t want to. Omnivert for sure.

33. Which room in your house do you spend the most time in? My bedroom. I actually just moved into my mom’s old office space, so it doesn’t fully feel like my room yet. I lived in my last room for 12 years, so it’s going to take a bit.

34. Who are you most worried about? The older members of my family. Also my fiance and brother in law. They both have asthma and are essential workers.

35. Who was the last person you texted, called, facetimed? Texted, a friend in a group chat about animal crossing, called my fiance, facetimed my friend Taylor.

36. What three emojis best describe your attitude towards what’s going on right now? 👏🧼💦

37. If you had to live in one item of clothing for the rest of this quarantine what would it be? My princess mononoke sweatpants. Those babies are comfy af.

38. What was the last meal you cooked and how did it taste? I wouldn’t call it a meal, but I made one of those knorr pasta sides for my dinner last night lol. It was delicious.

39. What’s your favorite restaurant? Is it closed? Bamboo sushi. I have been craving it for weeks, even before the quarantine. I desperately need a friend to go on sushi dates with. If you have my number, call me. I am dead serious.

40. What is your favorite store? Is it closed? Probably Earthbound. I like smelling the incense. I’m sure it is closed, doesn’t seem essential.

41. How many things have you purchased online since being in quarantine? I just realized I haven’t ordered anything. I’ve been meaning to buy a new mouse, but I haven’t decided on one yet.

42. What was the last thing you purchased online? Probably my makeup mirror.

43. What’s getting you through these tough times? ...animal crossing.

44. Are you keeping up with the news? To a degree. I peruse twitter every morning and watch whatever my parents have on for a minute or two. Sadly it’s usually some conservative Trump support thing, so I either have to stomach it and keep my mouth shut or just leave. I usually go with leaving.

45. Are you stressed? In general, yeah. But I’ve felt oddly peaceful during this time. I read somewhere on here that’s because people are finally reacting to the way I feel all the time. I don’t know if that’s true, but it makes sense. 

46. Tell me something positive. My sister is getting a new house in a few weeks. I’m insanely excited for her. And we’re going to be neighbors!

47. Give me some advice. I don’t feel like the kind of person who should be giving advice, just know I’m proud of you. Just in general. :)

48. What’s your favorite quote? Excuse me as I open my Pinterest quote board for this... “The way you speak to yourself matters.” No credit, but it’s something I’m learning a lot about lately.

49. What’s your favorite book? The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly. I wonder if it will ever change.

50. Tell me an interesting fact. The roars used in the animated Lion King were actually from tigers, because lion roars weren’t loud enough.

Thanks for asking! This was fun. 

[hyvnwoo-blog1]

hello hello !! i’m julian or jules, i’m 17, from pst, and my pronouns are he/him, and i am SUPER LATE !! i’m so sorry about that yikes !! this is my son hyun . i love him . i’d call him trash but that would be mean tbh he’s just doing his Very Best™ and you can find out more abt him under the cut !!

okay basically .. hyun was born in daejeon, south korea, to a relatively poor family. his father worked in a low level position in an office, and his mother was a homemaker. he had one younger sister, and honestly, they were never that close — all of them. money was too tight for his father to ever spend time with them, his mother was high strung and just didn’t have a kind or ‘motherly’ personality, and he just had nothing in common with his sister. it was kind of like ... living on an island.

despite this, hyun had one desire: to be happy. he saw the path to happiness, as per general korean culture, through backbreaking hard work. he couldn’t ever articulate exactly why, but he always knew, even as a child, that he’d need to be the best, because he’d have a lot to prove.

and that was the truth, more or less. he was always very smart, and wherever he fell short, he was an even harder worker. he was detail-oriented, obsessive and would do whatever he had to to get the job done, and that did him good in his life! he went from a public elementary school to an exclusive private school on scholarship and, in high school, was sponsored to study abroad in america.

in america, he continued to work hard and achieve high grades. he learned to speak english fluently, and, in general, had a better time than he did at home. his homestay sister was a nice lesbian girl named serena, who had bright red hair and sewed homemade patches onto her jeans, and they became very close friends — which was rare for hyun, as he never really was good at making connections. while he remained very studious, he also started hanging out with serena’s friends, most of which were queer. this got him thinking about his own identity, and over the two years he spent abroad, he realized he was trans.

when he got back to korea for the final year of high school, he came out to his parents as trans. they rejected him, but, in the nature of korean conservatism, told him he was allowed to live in their home and remain their daughter until he graduated high school, as they didn’t want to make a spectacle of themselves. 

knowing that his time with a family and a roof over his head was limited, hyun redoubled his school efforts, since the situation was quickly becoming dire. he ended up graduating with the top marks of his school, and full scholarship offers from all three sky universities. he ended up at seoul national university.

eventually, he graduated, and decided he wanted to move to america. he started applying for work there, and found a job in a fashion magazine based out of new york. that’s where his host family had lived, and when he told them, they invited him to live with them again. he took that opportunity readily.

there’s something to be said about hyun’s work ethic. he started at this magazine as a glorified assistant and, by the end of his time there, had worked his way up to a significant member of the publicity team, having created several successful marketing campaigns. after his biggest advertising campaign, he was contacted by a large san francisco-based cosmetics company to work as their coordinator of social media.

he didn’t realize what kind of commitment it would be when he took on the job, which far outpaced all of his previous work, both in korea and at the magazine company. he ended up directing his own small department, and was at the office from early morning ‘til late at night, even staying over on busier weeks. still, he wouldn’t trade it for the world. this is the path to happiness and fulfilment. someday, all this work will pay off. it doesn’t matter that he can’t hold down a relationship and has devolved from serial monogamy to straight-up one-night-stands. it doesn’t matter that he’s being worked to the bone and severely under-compensated for it. he’s doing what he loves — working hard and being challenged, and if this is what he has to do to climb the ladder, win the game — he’s going to do it.

so that’s his background .. as for his personality:

super type a does everything he can and, above all, does it well . SUCH a perfectionist and doesn’t take failure well bc .. he’s never failed

incredibly persistent !! he’s had so many doors slammed in his face that he now knows when to jam his foot in the door and how to keep a straight face through the pain

SUCH a slytherin just ... incredibly so ... definitely ambitious 100% cunning and honestly he’s lookin out for #1 that’s just the way it is

kind of twitchy and definitely high strung ?? while he can roll with whatever curveballs are thrown at him, he doesn’t take things not going as planned .. well .. in a surface way . he’ll get shit done but he’ll be swearing angry korean under his breath nd freaking out the whole damn time u better belieb

he’s this weird dichotomy between extremely professional and extremely outspoken .. he’s always ready 2 read a bitch but u aren’t gonna know you’ve been read for like a hot minute until he’s already moved on bc it was just so neutral and factual sounding

cannot STAND people with poor work ethics , or people who are really privileged or , the worst in his opinion , lazy rich people . he’ll tell them off . he doesn’t give a fuck . he had to fight tooth and nail for everything he has in this world and if it was handed to u and u don’t even do anything with it then what use do you have ??

hyun doesn’t have many friends and like the one friend he does have he doesn’t even really like as a person ... but when he decides ur one of his he’ll die for u tbh he’ll give u the clothes off his back he’ll go out in the middle of the night to bail ur ass out AS LONG as he thinks you’d do the same 4 him

huge commitment issues tbh like he genuinely doesn’t think he can have a functioning relationship which .. at this point .. is probably tru BUT that’s more bc of work than his personality yk ?? anyways .. most of his relationships now that he’s stopped trying are just him going out after work, getting drunk , and having meaningless hookups which is honestly fine w him where he is in his life rn

and yeah, that’s p much it !! my sweet workaholic boy .. i luv him nd i hope u do too ok . i’ll put some possible connections down below !! if ur interested in any of these pls hmu ok !!

exes that didn’t end well ?? possibly resented hyun’s workaholic nature

have hooked up in the past, and now have to ride the elevator together without .. looking one another .. in the eyes

are hooking up rn !! neither of them need/could handle a real relationship so this arrangement works great for them

possibly ... one of them catching feelings ... possibly unrequited ?? or maybe missed connections which is good too tbh

coworkers would mayb be fun ?? if ur muse works in the cosmetics industry

possibly coworkers who see how hard hyun is working and , Concern

maybe someone hyun works w who is Not as hard a worker as he is ,, which makes hyun Angry and passive aggressive and just outright mean tbh

maybe his personal assistant ?? idk

perhaps ur character is the barista that works near hyun’s work or something ?? and they know each other casually but meet each other at the apartment and start becoming Real Friends™

maybe the neighbour who hyun harrassed while they were having sex/hooking up/having a night terror bc he “had a deadline and need to fucking work, thank you”

this one cld be fun their whol relationship could be passive aggressively being like “shut the fuck up ur so LOUD during sex” bc they’re neighbours sharing a wall ( + possibly sexual tension for fun but also not at all necessary )