#Luciana has believed most of these things at some point

[kyofsonder]

Brain in Daylight Hours: There is no mental or emotional space for writing. There are no new ideas, and no structure for old ideas.

Brain after Dark: Here's 38 new ideas, 3/4 of a structure, official permission to write, and -- oh. The only place to write in the dark is your phone? ... Never mind.

[everkait]

about nick clark and troy otto

just to get this clear, i love troy and i love nick. i love them both individually but i also love them together and i love this really weird thing that they have going on between them. be it a friendship or whatever, i love it. they had so much potential together and i still can't believe they killed troy just like that.

in the beginning they disliked each other. nick may have even hated troy because of what he did to luciana and that's okay, he had every right to. i think troy disliked nick because he wasn't with his family and for troy the ranch and his family were everything for him. so the thought that nick had left his family on his own volition was very alien to troy. it's not something he would've ever done so he judged and disliked nick because of it and didn't want him on the ranch.

but even though nick heavily disliked troy, he didn't kill him. he had two chances to do so and in the second situation he could've actually gotten away with it but he still didn't kill troy. and troy wasn't even mad at nick for threatening him. he just took it in stride like it was a normal tuesday, he even encouraged nick to do it and later on said that they now could be friends after nick destroyed his notebook. i think that was some kind of turning point for both of them but more so for troy. he didn't necessarily start to like nick after that but his opinion about him wasn't as negative as it was before. nick on the other hand started to tolerate troy a little more after that. he still probably disliked him and thought he was rather dangerous but he wasn't as averse to him as before.

then luciana left and nick stayed. shortly afterwards nick and troy have this little talk down in the pantry and troy tells nick "it's just good you didn't take off after her", and i really loved it when he said that. i think he was being genuine and it shows that he has come to accept nick as part of the community. he doesn't necessarily like him but he accepts him. nick on the other hand is still a little defensive and wary of troy. it shows at the end of the episode when madison tells everyone that walker killed the trimbols and nick confronts her afterwards and tells her not to forget what troy is.

in the next episode while alicia is with walker, nick joins the militia. troy asks nick if he's got permission from madison which shows that he still doesn't really like nick. he accepts him but doesn't seem to want to be around him more than he has to. nick later tells madison that part of the reason he joined the militia is to keep troy, an enemy, close, although madison doesn't completely believe him. later in the episode comes one of my favourite scenes when troy asks nick "you feeling blue, nicky?", he then tells nick to "go kamikaze another day", which to me shows that he genuinely doesn't want nick dead. i don't particularly know why he didn't want nick to die at that moment but i don't think it was for madison's sake as he couldn't have cared less for nick at the beginning even though he is madison's son, whom he seemed to like almost instantly.

nick and troy are now in the militia together and do some bonding, like the poet talk or when they share their experiences and feelings about their father's deaths. around that time somewhere was a turning point for nick when he realized that he didn't actually want troy to die or maybe started caring for him in some capacity. he actually contemplated telling troy that he was the one that killed jeremiah even though madison thinks that troy would kill him for that but nick's not so sure. then comes the highlight of the episode when troy refuses to give up his weapons and nick actually stays back with him. he could've gone out with the others but he stays inside with troy because he wants to. he chooses to do so. because he knows troy, he knows that this will end bloody but he doesn't want that, he doesn't want troy to die. he himself even almost dies because of it when crazy dog gets the drop on him but troy is there and saves him although he gets hurt in the process. he doesn't want nick to die either which we already saw as he didn't want to shoot nick when he was standing between him and the rest and asked him to get out of the way. although troy doesn't want nick dead he still doesn't seem to have realized that nick cares about him as he asks nick why he would care what happens to him. furthermore it comes as a surprise to troy that nick stays with him and he tells him as much but also thanks him for keeping him company. nick then tries everything to get troy to back off, he even tells troy that he doesn't want him to die but troy doesn't listen. only when he confesses that jeremiah didn't commit suicide but that he actually killed him troy finally backs off. and he doesn't seem to be angry at nick.

i think that for troy the thought that his dad would commit suicide and leave them all behind was unbearable. he just couldn't accept it and that's why hearing nick's confession was such a relief for him and made him stop. doesn't matter that nick killed him because he at least didn't kill himself as that's not something that jeremiah would ever do and it's also not something that troy can live with.

now that troy knows that nick killed jeremiah i think he starts to see him in a new light. he later accuses madison for not being the one to kill his father but to let her son do the job and feels like she wronged him somehow by not killing his father. he thought she was like him but now he's not so sure about her anymore and seems to divert his attention even more towards nick. also something worth mentioning is that other than at the beginning troy never tried to kill nick again while he did contemplate killing madison after her cruel words about his mother.

up next comes something that i really can't wrap my head around, which is nick's hallucination of troy. how did his subconscious come up with troy of all people? why did he hallucinate that troy saved him? why? i don't understand. i love the hallucination and i love the fact that he hallucinated troy but i still don't really get why. maybe it's supposed to show us that nick feels safe around troy or that he trusts that troy would save him if he had the chance?

troy's now gone from the ranch but nick still seems to worry about him and alicia calls him out on it. she tells him that he doesn't owe troy anything but likes him and nick never refutes that. alicia also says that they "share the same self-destruction", to which nick replies "maybe i'm as sick as he is", and i love that. he admits that he thinks they might be similar and for me this whole talk just again proves that nick really does care about troy. what makes the whole talk even better is that not even five minutes later troy shows up at nick's to warn him from the horde. he was exiled but he sneaks back in just to warn nick of something that he himself is responsible for. he still doesn't seem to believe that nick cares about him though because when nick says, "it's good you're alive", he answers with "i don't think you believe that". and that's just sad. that after everything nick's done for him troy still can't believe that nick cares about him. what i also love is when troy says, "but you saved me in your own way", and that he'd like to return the favour. i'm not entirely sure what troy means here though. does he mean that nick stopped him from going kamikaze and saved his life or does he mean something different? if he'd simply told nick that nick saved him then i'd have an easier time believing it but he also says "in your own way", and i can't wrap my head around that. it just feels like he means something else with that than just nick saving his life.

another thing about their nightly talk that i love is that nick doesn't even think to rat troy out, not for a second. he says he can hide him or he has to sneak out, these are the only options.

the next day nick and jake then go out together to search for troy and find out what he meant with his warning. on the road jake's intentions regarding his brother are made clear when he takes out his gun and tells nick the story about the rabbit. when they finally reach troy nick again tries to talk him down but to no avail. troy doesn't plan on surviving this one and nothing nick could say can change that. jake then finally attacks troy and nearly kills him but is stopped by nick which results in jake's death. again, nick stands by troy and doesn't want him to die. even though troy just led the horde towards the ranch and literally destroyed everything that they had built there and nick knows it. but he still can't give up on troy and jake has to pay for it.

almost everything troy does from now on in my opinion he does for nick. nick wants him to help save the ranch so troy helps him. not because he wants to or cares about anyone there but because nick wants him to help. so he does. and those couple scenes really are everything. troy has fun doing what he does and nick has fun too. they're both being crazy together and they are loving it. when they are saved by madison, strand and walker nick covers for troy and lies about the horde. he knows that if he'd tell what had really happened someone would snap and troy would most likely end up dead and nick can't have that so he lies. even though a couple episodes back he wasn't happy with madison when she did the exact same thing when lying about the trimbols.

i also couldn't miss the fact that when alicia says everyone deserves to carve something out for themselves in this life troy and nick exchange a very quick glance. it could mean nothing but you can't deny that they looked at each other when she said that. and then when they have their talk in the car comes troy's most famous line: "all right, you stayed at the ranch because you love me." i think it's meant as a joke but again, nick doesn't refute troy's statement and they both just chuckle. like nick admitted to alicia that he and troy may be similar, troy says the same to nick now. and like before, nick doesn't say anything against it. it's not just troy who thinks like that, nick himself already came to the same conclusion.

at the bazaar we then come to some of the most bizarre scenes ever when nick and troy get high together. this is another thing that troy does just for nick. he doesn't really want to get high and seems to be rather uncomfortable at the beginning but he still does it because of nick. nick does have to remind him though that he saved troy's life but in the end troy does it for nick. again. surrounded by the infected nick then confesses to troy that he doesn't want to go back with madison and troy comforts him and hugs him. he hugs him! this scene as well as the couple ones before when they were staggering around together, arms slung around each other's shoulder, are everything. they are definitely friends by now, rather close ones actually, genuinely care for each other, and i really love the place that their relationship is at in that moment.

the next day nick then informs madison that he and troy plan to stay at the bazaar. we don't know troy's opinion on this but i think he only stayed there because of nick but i'll talk about this later on.

when troy hears that the proctors plan to attack the dam he is the one to yank nick out of his stupor. i'm not entirely sure if he wants to help madison for nick's sake or because he still kinda likes her. but it is worth mentioning that back when nick joined the militia troy asked nick: "is madison okay with this?", while now he tells nick "your mother's in trouble". back then he says 'madison' while he now says 'your mother' which kinda strikes me as odd. to say 'your mother' is more personal and it feels like troy acknowledges the fact that madison is nick's mother and that's why they should go and save her. so he might be doing this for nick's sake because even though nick doesn't want to stay with madison she's still his mother and he still loves her so troy might wanna save her for nick. still, i'm not entirely sure.

while nick is questioned by daniel troy tries to reconnect with madison, at least it seems to me like that's what he's doing. like i said before i think that troy only stayed at the bazaar because of nick. and here's the reason why: he tells madison that the bazaar wasn't a good place for him and nick. he probably already realized that after the first night because how could he not but he still decided to stay there, all because of nick. so again, he did that for nick. he then confirms to madison that he and nick are indeed friends and to troy they are actually closer than friends, like brothers, and that he genuinely likes nick. when troy asks madison if they're good she says they are but i didn't believe her, not for a second. she needed too long for her answer and was too quick in changing the topic. at the same time daniel questions nick and again, nick lies for troy and covers him. but this is a different situation, this is daniel. nick knows what daniel can do but he still lies to protect troy.

in the end it's all for nothing though because madison is the one that finally kills him after finding out that he was the one who led the horde to the ranch. nick did everything he could to protect troy and then madison, nick's mother, is the one to actually take troy's life. nick does look horrified when she does it but i feel like he could've been a little more shocked. he just looks horrified, turns around and walks out of the room, and after that i was a little disappointed in him for not showing more emotions. later when nick and madison are hiding he then starts arguing with her about it but the argument was more about the fact that madison can just callously kill someone and not necessarily about her having killed troy. although when madison says she killed him for her kids, she made that call for them, nick tells her "not for me!", and i really liked hearing him say that because he seemed angry but also sad and hurt so he's obviously not okay with what she did. later when john asks him about troy and he says that troy's dead and his mom killed him he also sounds a bit accusing which i also loved to hear. the way john asked, "is your friend here, nick?", i loved that as well. it again solidifies that nick and troy were friends because nick answers the question without refuting the statement and saying that they weren't friends or something like that. so at least troy and nick both acknowledged that they were friends.

but of course we also cannot forget nick's suicide note. i really love the fact that he called it his 'suicide note' because that was a reference all the way back to his talk with troy and the rest of the militia when troy didn't want him to go all kamikaze on them. i see it as nick kinda honouring his friendship with troy when he calls it his 'suicide note' because nobody knows the story behind it but it's obvious what it means. i've heard people say that now that troy's gone nick's all suicidal and troy's not there to stop him like he did before. but i'm not sure. you can certainly interpret it as that because nick does seem to be rather disillusioned and he's definitely still grieving troy. there is however no other option at the moment if he wants his mom and sister as well as strand to survive so i don't think he's just suicidal because troy's gone. to me it seems like he's accepted his fate and made his peace with the fact that he would die and i think it would've been a great end for nick if they'd actually let him die there.

i will definitely miss them though because their dynamic was great and i really do think that nick could've helped troy become a better person. he'd never be a good person but he could've gotten better, if they had just given him a chance. as i said before, i really think that most of the things troy did after the horde he did for nick so i genuinely believe nick could've helped him be a better person.

[not-using-this1]

Sick day cuddles

So I came up with this idea last night but didn’t know whether to write it with Alcina or Donna, so I let let people on my twitter decide and Donna won which I wasn’t expecting but I love her :) 

Luciana is going to be the name of the character I write with for Donna as she is my Oc but I will use ‘you’ for you guys as readers :)

This is my first Donna Beneviento oneshot and I’m still developing ways to write her to stay true to her as a character so bare with me! 

I may even make a part 2 if any of you like this and want me to!

(Gif isn’t mine)

Donna sends Angie to wake up Luciana as she got up earlier to finish making this doll. Luciana hadn't gotten out of bed yet and she thought that was weird for her. However she doesn't want to get out of bed and so Donna checks to see if she's okay, but it turns out shes sick.

Basically Donna takes care of her girlfriend and even cuddles with her not caring that she could get sick to.

Warning/s: None

Nothing but Donna being adorable, shy even and wanting to care for her girl.

Donna Beneviento x Fem!Oc 

Donna had been wondering all morning why her lover hadn't gotten out of bed yet. She usually gets up an hour after her due to the fact she has been getting up early everyday to work on this new doll project. Angie, her favourite doll from childhood by her side as she watches her finish off the hat she had been making for the doll.

"Angie, could you go check on Luciana for me? I'm rather worried she hasn't gotten up yet". Donna asked the wedding dress clad doll, worry on her face was barely visible due to her wearing the mourning veil over her.

Angie chuckled at how worried Donna was but still she stood up and jumped down from the wooden chair the doll had previously sat on. "Of course, but you worry too much. She is probably having one of those days".

Donna sighed at her very much living doll "yes but those happen rarely anymore, now please Angie." Donna asked her once more. In fact she wasn't even asking she was telling her.

The doll ran into the hall and managed to get up the stairs with ease to Donna and Luciana’s bedroom. Of course it's hers too but she has a room by herself sometimes or just stays down the stairs with other dolls aka 'friends'.

Opening the door slightly so she could squeeze passed the gap. Luciana was on her side like usual but snuggling up to Donna's pillow. Angie chuckled at the sight before tapping the young woman on the forehead a few times.

The woman let out a whine and then some more as Angie continued poking her "Wake up Luciana!" She shreaked.

"Go away Angie" You coughed as she turned to face the wall, Donna's pillow still in your grasp as you hugged it tighter. Kicking the bedsheet off yourself as it was way too warm. "Someones moody, come on you've gotta get up!" Angie had prompted to try and budge you out of bed but clearly that wasn't working whatsoever.

"Angie no, I really don't think I can get up today" that immedietely put Angie in 'go fetch Donna' mode. So without another thought Angie rushed out of the room, leaving you to curl up in a ball and complain, you were definitely sick there was no denying that.

A couple minutes of being in the bedroom, nothing but silence and sometimes coughs and sneezes. You had tried to get comfy but nothing seemed to be working. Suddenly the door opening startled you to the point you sat up straight away only to see it was just Donna, a very concerned girlfriend she was.

You smiled at her, she removed the mourning veil from over her face as of course she felt comfortable around you, you smiled again, god she was so beautiful (if only your girls beauty was the cure to your sickness) she brightend up your morning.

"L-Luci my love are you alright?" Donna asks quietly as she sits at the side of your shared bed, you nodded your head 'yes' trying not to worry her too much but you knew she wouldn't believe you for a second especially because she must of heard you whining, coughing and sneezing.

"No, you're not, lay back" Donna instructed you, of course you complied. The raven haired woman placed her hand gently upon your forehead. "Oh you're burning up. Let me go get you some medicine and something to cool you down" Donna gives you a shy smile, just as she was about to get up from the bed you grab her arm "I'm sorry" you manage to get out without coughing.

You were supposed to be going out of the village to the store to fetch a few things and groceries today and you felt the need to apologise just for being ill. This was always a habit of yours, apologising for something so silly but you couldn't help it.

Donna sighs at you "there's no need to apologise, you can't help being ill sometimes. I'll send Tom the gardener out to fetch the groceries." Donna replies, she leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead "I'll be back in a minute, okay?" She adds as she gets up and walks out the room.

Angie keeping you company "you humans are so fragile. Quit being ill so we can continue those horror movies!" Angie oh-so enthusiastically points out as she sits bored on a chair in the bedroom.

You let out a low chuckle as you layed back down and turned to face the doll "sometimes we can't help being ill Angie and who said we can't watch the horror movies while ill?"

That response made Angie jump up in joy and made you laugh slightly even though it hurt due to the stomach ache you had also gotten. "Um, I did. Wait until you get better, Luciana darling." Donna walks back in the room with some medicine and a glass of water with ice in it.

Angie huffed and left the room to go find something else to do like hang out with the other dolls for a bit while Donna sorted you out. You sat up as she handed you the tablets and also a glass of water "Here these should help and at least ease some of the pain and get your temperature back to normal".

You took the tablets and drank most of the water no problem but your stomach really wasn't agreeing with it, you groaned falling back down onto the bed "Why did I have to have the bad luck of being ill" you complained to your doll-making girlfriend. Still keeping your silly humour regardless.

"You don't have bad luck my dear, it just happens." Donna responded but thats honestly not what you wanted right now, you just wanted to cuddle her. So again before she could get up you stopped her by grabbing her blouse "W-what is it?" she asked you, the shyness still in her voice even though she had known you since childhood and has literally dated you for the passed 3 years.

Still you thought it was cute.

You coughed trying to clear your throat "could you stay? I know you're busy but I don't want to be alone right now" you asked her, pouting.

And who was she to refuse, Donna blushed slightly. She would drop everything just for you and besides you're more important to her. "Of course".

You smile at her as she gets into the bed with you, instantly pulling you in her arms, she presses a few kisses to your lips "you'll get sick too if you do that" you chuckle in her arms. "Worth it" she chuckles.

You return the kiss but on her forehead, you didn’t want her getting sick either. If it was possible to get Donna even more flustered well this was the way to do it. "Can me and Angie still watch those horror movies later tonight?" you asked quietly.

"No, just resting tonight." You pouted at her response "buuuuut-" you dragged on.

"No buts, you can watch them tomorrow if you're feeling better but right now I just want to stay like this with you. Tom has gone to get the groceries, Angie is probably-

"Lovebirdsssss" Angie cut off Donna as she waltzed into the room and climb up on the bed "Donna, Florence wanted me to ask you what you would like for dinner later?" She asks.

"What would you like, darling?" Donna asks you.

You shrug your shoulders at first, the raven haired womans arms still wrapped around you "I don't know if I can stomach anything solid so soup?" you questioned. Donna was more than happy to have that for today and even Angie was fine with that (yes she is a doll but she can eat a very small portion of food if she wanted to).

"Soup it is" Angie over-exagerated her voice as she cheered making both you and Donna laugh as she jumped off the bed to inform the cook what everyone wanted tonight.

"You don't have to stay if you want to finish working on that doll you know".

"No no shush, I'm staying now I'm more than happy." Your girlfriend mentions reassuring you that she is just fine with staying by your side the rest of the day. You wondered how you got so lucky to have such a soft but shy and beautiful childhood best friend and girlfriend in one.

[missbrunettebarbie]

All the Barbie protagonists I know -from best to worst

I feel like starting with a disclaimer that this is just my opinion, which should be implied. Anyway, this list took forever because I kept switching them. Look I am bad at picking favourites. The top 3 is actually pretty interchangable.

1. Eden Starling (Barbie in a Christmas Carol) - I love her with all my heart and then some. I love her design, her backstory, her personality, how unique she is from every other Barbie on the list. (Whoever came up with Barbie as Scrroge is a genius that deserves an Oscar) The fact that I relate to her in some aspects makes her even more loveable in my eyes. Also I think she deserves #1 spot because out of all the characters on this list she's the one I sorted before even rewatching her movie -and the rewatch confirmed the sorting. She's that memorable!

2. Princess Annika (Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus) - I love her too: her determination,her cleverness, her bravery, her justified anger. The "Destroy Wenlock!" speech alone guaranteed her a place in top 3. The fact that she doesn't back down even in the face of impossible odds - or maybe especially because the odds are impossible, her relationship with Aiden and with Brietta and her passion for ice-skating make her a very interesting character. Annika is a powerhouse and her entire journey is *chef's kiss*.

3. Merliah Summers (Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 1&2) - I think what I love about Merliah is that she put herself first, in both movies. Her first priority was her career as a surfer and only later did she come to accept her role as a mermaid princess. Her relationship with her mother is also great, I love them when they get along and I also love them when they don't - probably my favourite mother-daughter relationship from all the Barbie movies. Merliah's initial skepticism, her putside the box thinking and her competitive streak are delightful. Also her and Kylie might my favourite ship in the Barbieverse.

4. Blair Willows (Barbie Princess Charm School) - A Barbie with actual money problems?! Of course I was soft for Blair from the very begining. Her dedication and love to her adoptive family made her an instant fave. I loved that once Dean Privet helped her with her lessons she did her damn best to graduate from the school. She had her clothes torn, was accused of theft and looked in a safe, yet nothing stopped her.

5. Mariposa (Barbie: Mariposa) - I always had a soft spot for her as a kid. Her desire for adventure -for escape- the way she felt like she didn't quite fit in, her love for books, the somehow-anti-social attitude made her a perfectly relatable character in little!me's eyes. The way she refused to believe the rumors and the stereotypes in the second movie makes her even better. I loved her friendship with Catania and her romance with Carlos was cute too. Also her design might be my second favourite after Eden's.

6. Ro/Princess Rosella (Barbie as The Island Princess) - This movie is a goddamn masterpiece and Ro is a huge part of why. First I cannot help but be impressed by how adaptable she is: not only did she survive on a deserted island for ten years, she thrived. And then she had the courage to leave the only home she knew to go with Antonio and find answers about who she is. My heart ')). Then there is the fact that she risled her own freedom to help save the animals or how she was ready to step back and let Antonio do his duty and marry Luciana despite the fact that she loved him. And the ending wjere she finds her mother and starts singing the lullaby? It is what had cemented my love for this film and this character.

7. Corrine (Barbie in the three Musketeers) - In a lot of ways I find her and Merliah very similar -they both have goals they want to achieve and are somehow selfish because of it in the begining- but I think Corrine is a much kinder person: remember when she got that violin bow for one of the girls as a way to apologize? It felt like such a character establishing moment. I love that she took no shit for anyone, even the prince, and never faltered for one second in her desire to be a musketeer.

8. Princess Genevieve (Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses) - In a lot of ways she reminds me of Blair as she's a quieter personality but forceful in her own way. The way she always stood up for her younger sisters, her love for dancing, her relationship with her father and the fact that she was so heart-eyes when it came to Derek -seriously I don't think any other Babrie was so smitten with her LI from the very first moment- made sure she'll have a place in top 10. The only reason why she's not higher is because I love the others more.

9. Princess Annelisse (Barbie as Princess and the Pauper) - I think my favourite thing about Annelisse is that she completely understood her duties as a princess and was ready to sacrifice her personal happiness for her people. I also really like how she never shied from using her royal status- even if it didn't really work- or how she still tried to help the other taylor with the work when she was thought to be Erica, pity she had zero skill. Her relationship with her mom is my second favourite after Merliah-Calissa. Also collecting rocks is such an unique hobby AND she's a cat girl. Of course I love her.

10. Erika (Barbie as Princess and the Pauper) - Another cat girl! And so snippy and unafraid to be herself. Her dynamic with Annelisse is gold: Erika had all the reasons to despise Annelisse but instead clearly ~bonded with her from the very first moment and went along with an insane plan just to help her. Not to mention, she's the first Barbie who explicitly said "I am gonna fulfill my dreams and have the guy I love; what's this nonsense about choosing only one?" and I have to appreciate her for it.

11. Rapunzel (Barbie as Rapunzel) - The fact alone that she is best friends with a dragon gives her major points in my books. Her love of painting and the way she used it as a literal way of escape? Go, girl! The fact that she refused to let Stefan tell her his name just to make sure Gothel won't find out? Impressive and so spiteful! And the disgust in her voice when she realized Gothel had kept her prisoner for years because her father hadn't married her? Perfect.

12. Kristyn Farraday (Barbie in the Pink Shoes) - I really liked her enthusiasm for getting to actually be the characters she didn't even get to dance in the real world, the way her mind immediately internalized the rules of the fairytale-esque world despite how insane it was and how she refused to conform to the rules. I see the movie as an exploration of Kristyn's creepling fear of failure and the pressure she felt as a proffesional ballet dancer and seeing her come out triumphant on her own terms felt really good.

13. Actress!Barbie (Fashion Fairytale and Fairy Secret) - Probably the most three-dimensional of the "real" Barbies. I think what I like most at her is her determination to save Ken in the second movie. What can I say, I love a Barbie-in-shining-armour. I also like that she knew when to step back and let others do their jobs - in fact she doesn't so much in the first movie, just motivates people. If I had to pick a Barbie to have as a friend, I think she'll be my first choice. She seems like a good listener and someone who knows how to solve problems.

14. Elina (Barbie: Fairytopia 1&2&3) - She is an interesting character and one whose stories I do like, but something never clicked for me when it comes to Elina. Buut, this doesn't mean I don't appreciate her desire to save everyone or how she never drowned in self-pity when she was the only fairy without wings.

15. Clara (Barbie in the Nutcracker)- Clara doesn't get the chance to do much, but I love the glimpses of her intelligence we see (how she figured out the Nutcracker is Eric) or how she longs for adventure and excitment.

16. Thumbelina (Barbie present Thumbelina) - I like that she's an inventor and that she is ready to use Mackena to save her home, but overall I found her unimpressive.

17. Liana (Barbie and the Diamond Castle) - I always had a grudge on her as a child on Alexa's behalf. I always felt like Liana dragged her down. This being said, Liana is still a super smart cookie and very devoted to her friends so she avoids being even lower on the list.

18. Princess Lumina (Barbie: Pearl Princess) - The most memorable things about her are how she loooved having a job and how she refused to condemn the woman that may have raised her but had also kidnapped her from her family. Now both these traits should make her an intriguing character, unfortunately the movie is pretty boring and it never taps into Lumina's potential.

19. Princess Alexa (Barbie and the Secret Door) - Look I relate to her: Lover of books? Check. Desire to escape your life full of rules? Check. Not good with people? Check. But Alexa's development was so weird, the movie was very boring and felt like it had no trajectory and it affected the protagonist a lot.

20. Odette (Barbie in Swan Lake) - She just...doesn't do much. I wish we have seen her more involved in her own story. Not to mention I really didn't understand why she was so afraid of being in the spotlight or how being turned into a swan helped her get over it.

21. Starlight!Barbie (Barbie: Star Light Adventures) - I think my opinion of her -and the whole movie- can be summed up in the world "meh". There is simply no spark of life here.

22. Teen!Barbie (Barbie Diaries) - I have such an overwhelming repulsion towards "unpopular" girls wanting the be popular. Especially since I cannot see what exactly is holding Babrie back from being happy? She seems to have everything (great friends, nice life, good grades and music talent!), but doesn't care about any of it. Not to mention, she's the only Barbie who has to settle for a guy that was pining for her while she only saw him as a friend and I resent that.

[nerdywriter36]

To Help the Helpless

AO3

FFN

erik sees himself in all the sick, injured, and abandoned pets he sees in animal shelters and is determined to give them the love and comfort that they deserve in their time of need when he wasn't granted the same as a human being. christine and their friends could not be happier to help.

this concept was born out of a discussion about erik and his pets with @ofserien, so thank you to her for helping to bring this idea to life :) it's been so long so I've posted on here because of my hiatus, but the first oneshot I've written since officially returning to tumblr. i really hope you all enjoy it! likes and reblogs are always appreciated <3

~

"You brought in another one, Erik? Isn't your house full enough already?"

Erik simply rolled his eyes and turned to look back at Nadir, who was glancing at the variety of dogs and cats residing in their crates throughout his living room. "There is never too many rescues, Nadir, especially not when I'm taking them away from people who will put them down simply because they aren't getting adopted," he replied.

"And what's wrong with this one?" Nadir queried, gesturing to the puppy that his friend was carrying rather like a football - tucked against his side and laying along his forearm. "It looks fine to me."

"He had an old injury that was never fixed before he was turned in, so he doesn't look as perfect as people want," Erik said as he held the puppy up so Nadir could see his bowed front leg. "Otherwise, he is completely happy, energetic, and healthy, but people don't care. Looks are everything in this world."

His voice broke a bit, he noticed, and he knew that Nadir had heard it too. Every day was a different story when it came to how emotional he would get when it came to explaining why the animals had been abandoned and why their little lives were at risk. He hated that it still happened; he had been rescuing shelter animals for the better part of two years, not to mention the fact that most of his own struggles because of his appearance were behind him, but some days were simply harder than others.

He really was fortunate for all that he had to make his life as "normal" as possible, even with his physical differences. A prosthetic nose saved him far more grief than he believed people could understand and the mask he wore was so realistic and close to his skin tone, as remarkably pale as it may have been, that he hardly got rude stares anymore when he was out and about. It made quite the difference in his professional life as well; no one at the Paris Opera House wanted to accept compositions from a deformed freak, no matter their talent. His heterochromatic eyes were enough to put people off sometimes.

"I know, Erik, I'm sorry," Nadir piped up as he shot him a sympathetic smile. "I think what you're doing is great, you know that, I just worry about your stress levels. Not having to worry about you financially, but you're a composer making consistent contributions to the Paris Opera, you run an animal rescue, and now you have a girlfriend. That's a lot for one person!"

"Nadir, I'm fine," Erik replied, passing the puppy he held to his friend and smirking as it eagerly started to wiggle and lick at Nadir's neck and chin. "I'm managing it all, and having a girlfriend doesn't change much."

"Right, you say that now." Nadir turned his head away from the eager puppy, wiping his chin on his shoulder. "What is this thing anyway?"

"Australian shepherd, hence the energy." Making his way around the room, Erik checked the status of every food and water dish, but a buzz from his cell phone made him pause. As he pulled it out of his pocket, he couldn't help but smile when he saw a message from the new light in his life: Christine.

He still wasn’t exactly sure how he had gotten so fortunate as to have Christine in his life. After all, their first introduction had been at the Paris Opera House when he had nearly run her right over in his eager rush to leave the very same building. As intricate and realistic as his mask may have looked, he never enjoyed being out in public, and he knew that everything about him was under harsh scrutiny when it came to the committee of men taking his submissions and suggestions for the music at the Opera. He wouldn’t have become a successful composer, having his music played at one of the most prestigious opera houses in the world, without them, but with the way they stared at him whenever he walked in, it certainly wasn’t easy to face them.

“Is that the new light of your life?” Nadir asked with a smirk, watching the lovesick smile growing on his friend’s face. “What did she say?”

“Just ‘hi’,” Erik replied, his unmasked cheek already flushed pink as he replied to the message.

Nadir scoffed and set the puppy down in a small pen filled with blankets off to the side. “You are in deep, my friend. How long have you been dating, three months? And just ‘hi’ still manages to make you blush? Does she not make more flirtatious comments than just that?”

“Oh, like you were any different when you and Kheya first got together,” Erik retorted.

“Hey, now, that...that is not a fair comparison.”

It was his friend’s turn to blush and Erik laughed at the sight. Mockery aside, though, he genuinely was happy for Nadir; he had been through a rough patch before meeting Rookheeya one year before, his father's death hanging the heaviest over him and stealing so much of the joy that Erik knew was in him. Once he met her though, everything seemed to fall into place; Erik still remembered the moment Nadir practically choked on his drink when he first noticed her from across the room at a small gathering at the Garnier. She was a beautiful young woman who shared his faith, many of his interests and balanced out his almost painfully realistic views with the necessary imagination and optimism that he needed. A match made in heaven, if Erik were to pair a phrase to their relationship.

“Sure it is,” Erik replied, smirking when he caught a glimpse of Nadir’s lock screen as he pulled out his phone: a photo of the happy couple themselves, both smiling wide. “You’ve practically wanted to marry her since the moment you met, you’re lovesick.”

“Okay, I love my girlfriend, so sue me,” Nadir retorted. “And I will have you know that I plan on proposing in the next few days.”

“Well, it’s about time!” Erik said with a laugh, patting him on the back as the pair walked into the kitchen. “Congrats, Nadir, that’s amazing.”

“Thank you,” Nadir chuckled, crouching down to scratch the elderly golden retriever lounging under the kitchen table. “You and Christine have to catch up now.”

“No, no, this is no race. We are taking our time, I refuse to mess this up.”

“You aren’t going to mess it up, Erik.”

“I could. You remember how things ended with Lucy,” Erik said in a soft voice as he leaned over his countertop and scribbled on a notepad.

“That wasn’t your fault,” Nadir sighed. “She was a toxic mess, the end of your relationship was no fault of yours.”

Erik shrugged ever so slightly. “She ran off with some other guy and slept with him when we hadn’t even taken that step. I clearly did something wrong or she wouldn’t have left.” That breakup had hung over him like a dark, heavy cloud for weeks and still did at times. That said, the very same bout of depression and dejection had pushed him into the world of animal rescue that he still found himself in two years later, so for that he was thankful. Now, though, Luciana hardly ever crossed his mind; he had found someone to get him out and keep him out of that world of darkness.

“You didn’t, but anyhow, it doesn’t matter anymore. You have a girl that you love and who loves you, an amazing career, and an animal shelter in your living room. You’re doing alright for yourself,” Nadir pointed out. “Speaking of that, has Christie been over here yet? To meet the pack and all?”

“No, not yet. Believe me, it is on the list of things to do,” Erik replied, still scribbling away on his notepad as they spoke.

“That along with two hydrotherapy sessions, settling the new puppy in, getting groceries, working on your new composition, and going to see if you can pick up two tuxedo kittens. When do you have time to breathe, Erik?”

“In between everything. I manage just fine and I will slot Christine meeting everyone in. It’s a delicate process with some of these guys, you know that.”

Nadir scoffed. “Yes, I remember how slow it all was when you first introduced me,” he said, putting a hand up when his friend opened his mouth. “I know why it was slow, but that doesn't make it more enjoyable.”

“Right, well, unlike you, Christine is very patient, so it’ll be fine,” Erik replied. “She’s coming with me tomorrow to pick up those kittens, so I’ll probably ask her over after and try to introduce me.”

“Let’s hope it goes well. We wouldn't want you to have to choose between your lady friend and your pets. I don't know if you’d survive that.”

"Thank you for helping me today, Christine," Erik said, smiling over at his sweetheart, who sat beside him in the front seat of his car with two tuxedo kittens on her towel-covered lap (she had insisted on the towel, even though his car was covered with fur on practically a daily basis). "These two seem like a very sweet little pair. I doubt I'll have trouble finding them homes."

"Why weren't they getting adopted just at the shelter?" Christine inquired, an inquisitive frown on her face as she turned to him for an answer.

Which he did not really have, so he simply shrugged. "They don't let enough time pass to give people a chance, frankly. Not to mention that this would mean adopting two kittens at once, what with how closely bonded they are, and not everyone is willing to take on that kind of commitment."

"It doesn't seem like too much trouble." Christine looked back down at the kittens, her sweet giggle escaping her as one of them mewed and set its paws on her chest to get closer to her, almost inspecting her. "Hello there. You're not trouble, are you? You're just a sweet little baby."

Erik couldn't help but chuckle when he heard the voice she put on to talk to the animal - a light tone, using grammatically incorrect sentences, almost as if she were speaking to a baby. Which she was, in a sense.

"You'll have to help me name them. I name so many animals that I end up running out of options after a while."

"One of them - the boy, that is - should be...Sylvester. Like from Looney Tunes! He looks just like him, it's too good to pass it up!"

"A very good choice, I think," Erik nodded as he began the drive towards his home. "I'm not sure about the girl yet. Perhaps I'll call her Christine."

His girlfriend scoffed and glanced over at him. "Erik, you can't suggest naming any and every female animal you bring into your house after me."

"Why not? I like your name."

"I know you do, but once you get to Christine the Eighth or whatnot, there's a problem."

He couldn't help but laugh; her sense of humour and mild sarcasm had been part of what had endeared her to him in the first place. "I suppose there might be. I do like your name, though, I wouldn't mind it too much."

"Yes, I know that, and if we ever had a daughter, she would be Christine Junior, I know how much you like my name." She giggled again, and he noticed her look over at him in his periphery; he was just glad that he had his mask on so she wouldn't notice him blushing at the thought of sharing a child with her. "You need some new options."

He tried to shrug nonchalantly. "I...I just think it's a nice name. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman," he said softly.

The comment must have been the right one, as he was rewarded with a quick peck on the cheek. "You're very sweet," Christine replied as she turned back to the kittens and stroked their backs as they cuddled together on the towel. "So once we drop these little ones off, I suppose you'll just take me home? I'm sure you'll have lots to do."

There it was - his opportunity to make the offer to her to finally come over so he could truly introduce her to his life in its entirety rather than trying to hide parts of it. A glance over at her was enough to tell him that she was disappointed at the idea of having to go home, as she so often was, and he hated to upset her, so he would do his best to fix it as best he could at that moment.

"Actually, I was thinking...would you like to come in today?" he asked, looking at her briefly again and smiling a bit when she looked back at him, wide-eyed and shocked at the question. "I'll have to settle these two in, but I would love to-"

"Yes," she replied, cutting him off rather abruptly. "Yes, I would love to. Do I have to do anything? Not do anything? Can I help with anything, wh-what can I do?"

"Just be yourself," Erik said, unable to stop a quiet laugh from escaping him at seeing how enthusiastic she was. "Your sweet, gentle, caring self, my dear. That is all that I can ask of you when it comes to meeting the little pack that I have at home."

"That much I can do," Christine said with a firm nod, clearly very dedicated to her mission. "Thank you, Erik."

He frowned. "What for?"

"For trusting me with this, with meeting them. I know that their health and security means a lot to you, so knowing that you trust me to come in and make myself a new part of that arrangement that you have really means a lot to me."

"Of course I trust you, my darling. I...I love you." The phrase still felt foreign in his mouth after not using it for so long after losing Lucy, but he was making an effort to use it as often as he possibly could with Christine; she meant more to him than anyone ever had before and she deserved to hear that from him.

"I love you too," Christine said with a warm smile on her face. "Come on, then, drive! I have puppies to meet!"

~

"Are you ready, Christine?" Erik asked from where he stood at the end of the hallway, having just collected a young bulldog puppy from her kennel and was presently walking towards the bedroom, of all places, where his sweetheart was waiting. An unconventional setting, yes, but there was a purpose to it.

"Of course I'm ready!" he heard her call back, her excitement practically dripping from her voice. "There's a puppy involved, how could I not be ready?"

"Alright, alright," he said with a quiet laugh as he stepped into the room, the puppy starting to squirm in his arms at the sight of the new person and the sound of Christine's giddy squeal. "This is Lily."

Christine gasped, a hand to her chest. "Lily, oh, how precious," she said with a giggle. "Can I hold her? Or would you prefer that I didn't?"

"No, you can hold her. She's generally good with people," Erik nodded, sitting next to his girlfriend beside his bed and setting the puppy on her lap. "Just watch her back legs."

"What's wrong with her?" Christine asked softly, looking at the puppy's legs that splayed out behind her rather than tucking beneath her to hold her body up.

"It's called swimmer's syndrome. They can't really say what causes it; some people think it's hereditary, others think it's because their environment as newborns kept them from getting around a lot, even others say it was because of defects before they were born, so I'm not entirely sure," Erik explained. "Still, as bad as it looks, it's treatable, which is why we are here in my room."

Scooping the puppy up again, he stood and walked a few steps away to a sling apparatus set up against the wall and slipped the puppy into it so she hung with her paws just above the ground. "She'll sit in the sling for about 20 minutes every day, and I'll just massage her legs and try to mimic walking motions with her. I do this a few times a day."

He carefully began to act on the same procedure he had just described, smiling as Christine stepped over to join him while he carefully rubbed the puppy's legs and helped her to move them the way she would if she were walking as she should. He knew that there was always a risk that the therapy he tried to do for the animals that were struggling wouldn't work, but he was going to try his best. Very few people had ever tried to help him throughout his life, so he thought he would allow the animals to have that, whether they knew they had it or not.

"How many others do you do this kind of thing for?" Christine softly asked a few minutes into the therapy session.

"A few. Whether it's for little ones like this who have defects of some sort or for older animals who struggle with arthritis and different things like that, therapy does a lot. I do this kind of thing, as well as hydrotherapy, which entails me getting very wet," Erik replied with a chuckle. "But it's worth it when I see the results. True, it doesn't always happen, and they end up turning into hospice cases more than anything, but if I can try and get them back on their feet, as happy and healthy as can be so they can go to a good home, then I'll do what I have to do to make that happen." He turned towards her and smiled just as she cupped his face in her hands and drew him into a gentle kiss, distracting him from his therapy session momentarily. "You are one of the most kind-hearted people I know. You know that, right?"

"You tell me that enough, so I suppose it carries some truth. It's never occurred to me much otherwise, though."

"Well, you had better believe it because it could not be more true," Christine said with a grin.

Erik couldn't help but chuckle as he gave her another quick peck on the lips. "If you are trying to earn yourself brownie points or extra kisses or something, I admire your effort, it just might work out in your favour," he replied, returning his attention to the puppy.

"Fantastic," she giggled, leaning her head on his shoulder and watching while he worked. "Did you have any other plans for the day for us? Dinner, perhaps?"

"Yes, I was hoping you would help me with dinner," Erik nodded, letting the offer hang for a moment before he added, "For the dogs and cats, that is."

"Ah yes, how romantic, exactly what I had in mind," Christine said with a laugh. "Filling food bowls. I can't wait."

Ever since Erik had given her the go-ahead to come over and spend time with himself and his little pack of rescue animals, Christine had taken full advantage of it. Whenever she could manage it, she was at his house, helping him with feeding and bathing all of the little pets in his care, keeping him company while he was cleaning, and even learning how to do hydrotherapy on a few of the dogs that happened to need it. A couple of months had already passed since that day, unbelievably, but she had cherished every second that she had gotten to spend with both Erik and all the animals in his care. She found herself getting close to every single one of them, and she could see how happy it made her sweetheart; Erik smiled even wider than he normally did when she was around, a photo of the two of them with one of his eldest dogs - a golden retriever named Buddy - had become the photo on the lock screen of his phone while others had been printed and framed on his wall. She knew that he had had little joy in his life, but if she could contribute to that happiness along with allowing him to pursue one of his passions, then she would happily support it.

Getting to play with cute puppies and kittens while she was at his house was a nice perk too.

A short while into the arrangement - about a month after Christine herself had been introduced, - she had convinced Erik to let Meg have a gentle introduction of her own to all the animals he cared for. Her roommate had just about lost her mind when she had found out that she had finally gotten to meet all of her boyfriend's pets and hadn't stopped begging her to get Erik's permission for her to meet them until she had finally agreed to give it a shot.

Erik had been hesitant at first, that much was for certain, but she promised him that Meg knew how to keep calm and quiet when she had to be. Eventually, with a slightly skeptical expression on his face, he had agreed to allow her over to meet some of the animals, much to Meg's delight.

As Christine had predicted, the introductions had gone perfectly fine and Meg was quickly scooped up into the little pack Erik seemed to be steadily building. Their visits brought them closer to the animals, to Erik, as well as to Nadir and Rookheya, Erik's best friend and his fiancée. There was something endearing about seeing her sweetheart interacting with someone other than just herself; she knew that he did it for work and all, but watching him so at ease and laughing with his closest friend warmed her heart, even if Nadir didn't seem completely at ease around the animals in the house. For a while, their little group was complete and happy, enjoying every moment they had.

But not every joyful moment could last, unfortunately.

It was the middle of the night when she got the first phone call. Her ringer was quiet, true, but it lulled Christine out of her sleep, though she didn't bother to look at the screen to see who was calling. 'Whatever scam caller it is can just leave a message for me to delete,' she thought to herself as she rolled over onto her side and buried her face in her pillow to attempt to fall back to sleep.

Her phone fell silent for just a moment, but within moments, it had started ringing again.

With a huff, Christine sat up and grabbed her phone, squinting at the brightness of the screen, and saw her boyfriend's name and picture on her screen, which made her frown. It was just past two in the morning, why would he be calling her? Her heart was already racing a bit as she pressed the green 'Answer' button and held her phone to her ear.

"Hello? Erik, what's going on?"

Hiccuping breaths were what she heard first, which only serve to worry her more. "C-Christine, come over," Erik finally managed to say, his voice choked with tears. "Buddy is...something's wrong, please come over."

"Okay, it's okay. I'll be right there and I'll bring Meg with me," she replied, trying to keep her voice as calm as possible despite her own worry about the dog that she'd become so close with. "Have you called Nadir?"

"He's here already. Rookheya too," Erik said, sniffling quietly. "Just please come over, Christine, please."

"Okay, okay, I'm coming. I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you."

Not hearing a response from Erik told her how distracted and worried he was - he always returned her affections, and she wasn't even offended by the lack of reciprocation; she was only worried.

Christine quickly climbed out of bed, deciding not to bother changing out of her pyjamas given how warm it was outside and only grabbing a pair of socks to quickly slip on. Throwing open her bedroom door, she hurried next door to Meg's room, walked inside and over to her bed to shake her gently. "Meg. Meg, get up, come on."

She rolled her eyes when her friend simply moaned sleepily and pulled her covers over her head. "Meg, please get up. Erik just called me, something's wrong, we have to go over there."

That was enough to make Meg's eyes open rather quickly and she moved the blankets to look up at her friend. "What's happening?" she asked.

"I don't know, all I know is that it's Buddy and Erik is crying, so it's bad," Christine replied with a sigh. "Please get up so we can go."

"Okay, I'm up. Go get your shoes on, I'll be down in a sec," Meg said, clambering out of bed and shuffling past her friend to get dressed.

Within minutes, the two of them were in Christine's car driving towards Erik's house, the open roads with that time at night helping their travel immensely. Not knowing what was wrong was driving Christine half-mad, though she was drawing some unfortunate conclusions, considering the animal that was involved. If she was right, it made sense why Erik had sounded so upset; she knew how much he loved that dog.

"Nadir just texted you," Meg said softly, looking at her friend's phone while she couldn't do so herself. "Asking if we're going to be there soon."

"Just tell him that we will be. That I'm driving as fast as I can without risking getting arrested in the process," Christine said, managing a quiet laugh.

She saw her friend nod as she typed away, the clicking of the keys the only sound in the car. A moment later: "He says, 'As long as you hurry. Get here before'..." Meg trailed off at that, making Christine turn to look at her.

"Before what? What did he say?"

"'Before we lose him.'"

Christine's heart seemed to leap into her throat and, without a word, pushed her foot down ever so slightly harder on the gas pedal, just praying they'd arrive in time.

~

The two young women burst through the house's front door as soon as they arrived, Christine making use of her spare key. She didn't even need to wonder where everyone else would be; she knew that Erik kept that golden retriever by his bedside every night so that he could monitor him. Nothing had ever happened before that had warranted any action, but something had obviously changed that night. Drastically.

Bolting up the stairs with Meg right behind her, she quickly arrived at her boyfriend's room, which was completely dark save for his bedside lamp, and her heart sank when she saw him in the middle of the floor holding Buddy in his arms, Nadir and Rookheya close by.

"Erik, I'm here," she whispered as she moved to sit beside him and wrapped an arm around his waist. "I came as fast as I could, what's happening?"

"I don't know," Erik replied with a sniffle, stroking the dog's fur as he spoke. "They said he had more time. Not much, but more than this, I don't understand."

His words were drowned out by his tears as he leaned forward and buried his face in the retriever's fur, so Christine simply hushed him and rubbed his back. "I know, I'm sorry," she said with a quiet sigh. "You've done so much for him and for all the animals you take care of, Erik, you have to remember that. Whatever happens tonight is not a result of what you've done, you have done everything possible for him."

"Not enough, though. This wouldn't be happening if I had done enough," Erik managed to say through his tears, a sob slipping out of him.

Christine's own throat tightened up hearing the heartbreak spilling over through his words, so she was fortunate that Nadir shuffled over, set a hand on his friend's back and took on the role of the comforter from her; she couldn't trust herself not to cry, so she simply focused on trying to give the elderly dog as much love as she could possibly convey.

"Erik, you know it isn't your fault," Nadir said softly. "He's ill and I know that you've known that for a while now; you always knew he was going to be a hospice case from the beginning. You have to keep that in mind because if you don't, I know that you will blame it on yourself and you can't do that. He's had a wonderful life with you."

"He's right, Erik, you've given him so much," Christine said, finding it in her to dry a few stray tears and contribute to the conversation again. "He's had a beautiful life here with you, he knows that you love him."

Erik's only response was a nod as he lifted his head enough to gently kiss the top of the dog's head. "I love you, Buddy. We all do," he whispered, trying to force a smile as the dog turned his head to glance up at him, and Christine noticed Erik move his hand to rest over the dog's chest, clearly to feel for his heartbeat and wait for when it inevitably ceased. Not knowing exactly what else to say, she simply set her hand over her sweetheart's resting her head on his shoulder as everyone simply waited for the inevitable.

It didn't take long, in the end, and Erik didn't say a word; the way he muffled a sob and leaned over the dog to hold him to his chest told everyone what they needed to know. Christine hadn't quite expected to get as emotional as she did. She knew that she was attached to all of Erik's animals and that even the thought of her love in pain made her heart ache, but there had been something different this time. Erik had loved Buddy probably more than any of his other rescues, and she had a strong feeling that that love had been mutual.

It turned out that she wasn't the only one getting emotional; she had expected to see a few tears from Meg, and there they were, but looking over at Erik's other friends, she found Rookheya with her face tucked in the crook of Nadir's neck, the slight shake of her shoulders the only clue that she was emotional, while even Nadir - Nadir 'I don't like pets much' Khan - had tears in his eyes. Whether it was Buddy's death or Erik's reaction that had made him cry, she couldn't tell, but the show of empathy for what his friend was going through was something that she appreciated and knew that Erik would too.

Quickly drying her cheeks, she leaned over and gently kissed Erik's cheek. "I'm so sorry," she whispered as she reached up and gently wiped his tears away. "But you gave him such a beautiful life, just like you're doing for all the others you're caring for. They needed someone and you were there to rescue them. I'm so proud of you for that, and Buddy was proud too."

Erik managed a weak smile as he turned to look at her, leaning forward just enough to press his forehead to hers. "Do you think so?" he croaked.

"I know so, my darling. I have no doubt of it."

[franciscovidal]

BASIC INFORMATION:

Name: Francisco Vidal

Nickname: Vidal

Birthday: December 16th

Age: 45

Gender: Male.

Place of Birth: London, UK

Places Lived Since: London, UK

Current Residence: Brixton, London, UK.

Nationality: Spanish/English

Parents: Luciana Vidal (mother, †), Marco Vidal (father, †)

Number of Siblings: None alive.

Relationship With Family: Good, really good. It was a family that was lucky to have people who cared for one another, looked after and supported. They were great, for that little time they had together. 

Happiest Memory: Going to the Brighton per with his family. It was like any other weekend, except that it was the last one before he lost them. It was the usual thing - ice cream, lights, games. Just a normal family outing, but it still is, to this day, the best day of his life.

Childhood Trauma: Losing his parents and his brother in a car crash when he was eight. 

PHYSICAL:

Height: 6'0”

Weight: 174 lbs.

Build: Athletic

Hair Color: Black

Usual Hair Style: Here and Here

Eye Color: Dark brown

Glasses? Contacts?: N/A

Style of Dress/Typical Outfit(s): Very casual. So here, here, here and here. 

Jewellery? Tattoos? Piercings?: Not really, no. 

Scars: Some from fights in random places. One on his leg from when he was a teen. Some bullet ones. But it’s chill. 

Unique Mannerisms/Physical Habits: Jaw clench, because he can.

Athleticism: Good enough, above average. He fights at the club sometimes, but not always. Keeps up the gym level, plus the normal things he has to do are a workout too. 

Health Problems/Illnesses: N/A

INTELLECT:

Level of Education: Highschool and College for business. Didn’t finish college but did a few classes here and there before being kicked out. But he got enough knowledge to do what he is doing now. Later on, he also picked up different courses to further his knowledge. 

Languages Spoken: English, Spanish, French and Italian. (The last two were easy to pick up because of his Spanish, and he knew he needed them. He actually enjoys languages and would love to learn Russian too, but the hate is bigger than the want to learn it).

Level of Self-Esteem: The absolute highest, to the point where people think he’s a dick. He isn’t, that much, he just knows he looks good. 

Mathematical?: Average

Makes Decisions Based Mostly On Emotions, or On Logic?: Logic.

Life Philosophy: You do anything for family.

Religious Stance: Was Catholic then stopped believing in anything at all. World is too ugly. 

Cautious or Daring?: Cautious.

Most Sensitive About/Vulnerable To: His people. He has since made them his family and will always do everything in his power to make sure they are all afloat. They all deserve the better life, and no matter how it will make him look, he will always put them first. 

Optimist or Pessimist?: A bit of both. 

Extrovert or Introvert?: Extrovert.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Current Relationship Status: Single

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Past Relationships: A lot of them, most lasting up to 9 months. 

Primary Reason For Being Broken Up With: Not committed enough, never being fully there with them. 

Primary Reasons For Breaking Up With People: Not seeing eye to eye. Thus far he had not chosen women who would suit his lifestyle. And subconsciously, it was exactly why he chose them. He knows what life he is living; he knows what comes first to him, and he just doesn’t want to be in the position that he would have to choose one over the other. Therefore, he chooses them on the basis of there never needing to be such a choice. 

Ever Cheated?: Yes.

Been Cheated On: Yes.

Level of Sexual Experience: Absolutely amazing in bed. 10/10, an experience you want to have at least once in your life. Mind blowing. 

A Social Person?: Yes.

Most Comfortable Around: Johnathan, Mateo.

Oldest Friend: Johnathan Parsons, Benny Thorpe, Matteo Herrera

How Does He Think Others Perceive Him?: Full headed cunt.

How Do Others Actually Perceive Him?: Caring, passionate, driven.

SECRETS:

Life Goals: Getting Brixton to its former glory, and its people safe and happy.

Dreams: To be fully happy. 

Greatest Fears: Losing Brixton to the French or Russians. Too many people dying because he did not do enough.

Most Ashamed Of: Not giving people more. Vidal always feels that there is more to do. That by joining the Rutherfords, more should have been done already, things already should have been better. 

Secret Hobbies: Loves music, can dance, likes to write. 

Crimes Committed (Was he caught? Charged?): Fighting aka beating people up, property disruption aka setting them on fire, small bombs, just messing the fuck out of them, etc. He’s only killed a few people in his life. Hates it and tries to avoid it as much as possible. 

DETAILS/QUIRKS:

Night Owl or Early Bird?: Night owl.

Light or Heavy Sleeper?: Heavy.

Favorite Animal: Dog.

Favorite Foods: ALL Spanish food. He absolutely fucking loves it. Paella, Tortilla de Patatas, Churros, Ahijo etc, etc.

Least Favorite Food: English traditional foods.

Favorite Book: To Kill a Mocking Bird by Harper Lee

Least Favorite Book: Doesn’t really have one. He kind of picks up a book, checks the first page id it pull him in and then reads it. 

Favorite Movie: Gladiator

Least Favorite Movie: Star Wars

Favorite Song: Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine

Favorite Sport: Football -  Arsenal fan

Coffee or Tea?: Coffee and Tea.

Crunchy or Smooth Peanut Butter?: Smooth

Type of Car He Drives: Audi A3 Sedan

Lefty or Righty?: Lefty

Favorite Color: Forest Green

Cusser?: Yes, but not always. Depends on the mood, the place and the people. Ranges between Spanish and English, 

Smoker? Drinker? Drug User?: Smokes when he drinks, drinks pretty often, does not do drugs. Maybe some weed sometimes at the most. 

Biggest Regret: Not having enough time.

Pets: N/A but definitely wants a dog. 

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

can we get some Javejita headcannons?? like obv you can’t give away too much, but how do Javejita act on a day to day basis pre-Luciana-fucking-shit-up? did they get eachother coffee? did they ever eat dinner at the office together? is food and coffee their love language?

(the question was asked in third person so the answer is structured in third i hope that's okay!!)

This gif is what i look like when I think about anything at all i need a nap HEADCANONS BELOW THE CUT DARLING 💖

Let’s start with the Javi and Abejita getting coffee for one another or eating dinner together:

Absolutely not no.

Javier only ever provided Abejita with caffeine when he was in need of a BIG favor. In the most recent chapter, Abejtia brought Javier food because she recognized him digging into himself the way he did in chapter five, and despite recent events, Abejita does worry about him. It’s very

Pre-Luciana day-to-day, Javier and Abejita were like magnets.

But like not the kind that are drawn to one another.

I’m talking like when you’re playing with magnets as a little kid and you take the two with opposing charges and shove them at one another until they fling apart. They didn’t hate one another. They were just coworkers; they were not close and they really didn't try to be.

They did happen to pick up little things about one another by virtue of proximity, like Javier knowing that Abejita liked to clean her desk with Lemonsol, or Abejita knowing that Javier kept a bottle of whiskey in his desk.

They each knew that the other was quite smart - you don't just walk into the DEA and say 'hi yes I will take one of those uh- Job things?'. Both are considered indispensable to the office.

But Javier saw Abejita as someone who kept her head down in her cushy office job and Abejita saw Javier as someone that just fucked his way through his job and occasionally did his paperwork.

If both were in civil moods, they’d nod to one another-- there might even be a, “Morning.” God forbid one or both were feeling snippy, though. Remember back in chapter three when Abejita told Peña that he smelled like pussy?

You know that look on Steve’s face when he’s tired and he can’t quite believe that what’s happening is happening but he lets it go cause

Double that because Steve legitimately could not tell if Abejita and Javier genuinely disliked one another or just needed to fuck. He just couldn't get a read on it.

Thing is, though, as grudging as Javier and Abejita could be toward one another, they recognized that they each did their jobs-- and well.

Javier took longer to come around to this, but it clicked when Abejita knew exactly who Antonella was without him telling her, and Abejita made a point to tell Noonan as such. On top of it, the night she bossed him out of his chair and told him to go home? That made him realize just how much she pays attention. Abejita is observant. He knows that now.

Abejita has known that Javier is good at his job, she just thinks that his methods are…………. Questionable.

But part of her does understand that Javier does what he does to get the job done. He dips into the grey where other people won’t, and he does bad things sometimes to catch bad people.

That’s why she tells Luciana that he’s the best man she knows.

[a-gorgeous-george]

Basic Questions

First name? Georgette

Surname? Foxworth

Middle names? Luciana

Nicknames? Gigi (by her     mother)

Date of birth? August     7th

Age? 22

Physical / Appearance

Type of clothes?

Georgette’s style is all about femineity and luxury. She wears a lot of dresses, a lot of skirts, but even her workout clothes are designer. She swears “cheap” clothes give her a rash – and who would want to mar her perfect skin like that.

How do they wear their     clothes? Tight and tailored.

What are their feet     like? (type of shoes, state of shoes, socks, feet, pristine, dirty, worn,     etc)

Georgette is rarely seen without heels on, and thanks to regular pedicures and lack of abuse, her feet are soft and pretty always.

Race / Ethnicity? Spanish     and Indonesian

Are they in good health?     Oh yes, she has a strict workout schedule and diet she sticks to… well,     actually, perhaps not, because alongside that she also lives a life of high     stress and nicotine.

Personality

Are they more optimistic     or pessimistic?

It really depends on the source of power in a situation. If it is something she has control over, she is optimistic, can’t see how something would ever not work out, but if someone else is in control, her view changes considerably and she is usually fairly certain it will fail.

Do they ever put on     airs?

When is she not putting on airs?

What bad habits do they     have? She has a serious nicotine problem.

What makes them laugh     out loud?

She isn’t really a laugh out loud type of person. She might chuckle or smile in amusement, but laughing out loud indicates a level of ease that she just does not feel around people. Also Al.

How do they display     affection?

She is very physically affectionate… I think. She has never been in a position where she felt comfortable being affectionate with a person in that way. Besides that, she shares her wealth in ways that benefit that people she cares about, shares her privilege with them. She is happy to be her friends’ sugar mama.

How do they want to be     seen by others? Beautiful and in control.

How do they see     themselves?

She very much sees herself as a lone wolf. She knows she’s beautiful, smart, capable, hardworking, but she’s alone and absolutely terrified someone will recognize it. She is also very much aware of her inner rage.

·       How are they seen by others?

Because of her past with her family and the lack of ties it provided her, Georgette was left defending herself. Her arrogance and obsessive need to believe in her own importance is directly tied to the lack of importance anyone else gave her.

Strongest character     trait?

For all her bravado and arrogance, Georgette is 100% unafraid of hard work. From her work on her blog and marketing it, her history as a beauty queen, her strict adherence to her diet and exercise routine, every aspect of her life, she has no issue knuckling down and putting in the time and effort to succeed.

Weakest character trait?

She is incapable of asking for help, as if it somehow undermines her own achievements if someone else must assist her.

How competitive are     they?

Extremely. If you want to manipulate Georgette into doing something, make it a contest. She’ll probably even know what you’re doing and still be unable to resist.

Do they make snap     judgements or take time to consider?

Snap judgements all the way, baby!!

How do they react to     praise?

Smug agreement.

How do they react to     criticism?

Strong commitment to your character’s delusion that she is anything other than amazing.

What is their greatest     fear?

Dying without ever achieving anything of substance.

What are their biggest     secrets?

Georgette is crushingly lonely. Her whole life has been spent pushing people away, trying to protect herself and prove herself, full of anger, and it has left her without anyone she can be close to.

What will they stand up     for?

Once her blog is up and running and successful, once the magazine starts to take off, she will have real issues with people saying she’s self-made. She is fully aware that even without her father’s money, her name alone carries a certain currency most people do not have. She is well aware of her own privilege in that area and will stand up against anyone who compares her achievements against someone who didn’t have that head start.

Who do they quote?

She’s a closet book nerd and might not quote directly but will frequently make allusions to literature.

Are they indoorsy or     outdoorsy? Indoorsy.

What is their sinful     little habit? Cigarettes.

What sense do they most     rely on?

Sight – how someone/something looks dictates more of her life than it should.

How do they treat people     better than them?

What people better than them?

How do they treat people     worse than them?

That seems like an unfair question when everyone is worse than them.

What quality do they     most value in a friend? She wouldn’t know.

What do they consider an     overrated virtue? Niceness.

If they could change one     thing about themselves, what would it be?

She would have people who cared about her.

What is their obsession?     Herself?

Friends and Family

Is their family big or     small? Who does it consist of?

Her mother and stepfather, father and stepmother, Jenny and Oliver (Yes, she considers Oliver as part of her family)

What is their perception     of family?

When she was barely cognizant of life, her father had an affair, had a baby, split up her family, quickly destroying the idea in her head. It is an outdated concept made to make people feel like belong to a group, no loyalty or love.

Describe their best     friend.

………. Let me get her just a friend first.

Ideal best friend?

Someone who understands her hustle. Someone she can see the inherent importance in. Someone that can still pull her out of her head and get her to have fun.

Describe their     acquaintances.

She is jealous of the closeness of Dodger’s gang, watching as an outsider and wishing desperately to be a part of it all.

Do they have any pets?

She is a massive dog person! (Get it?) But yes, she has a little doggo, Valentina.

Past and Future

What was your character     like as a baby? As a child?

Awful? Spoiled? She was raised spoiled, but after her father’s betrayal, she sought to teach him a lesson. Even as a child, she would blackmail and torture him, threatening to reveal his dirty secret to the world. She was worse to Jenny even, more easily able to take out her anger over the affair and her birth on the younger girl than the truly guilty adults.

Did they grow up     nurtured or neglected?

Neglected – but that is partly her own fault. She is as much at fault due to her reaction and actively hurting her family and her father. She lashed out and did truly awful things and crushed what bond there might have possibly been.

What is the most     offensive thing they ever said?

Oh, I don’t know… in my head, I feel like she can be a very problematic person. Add that in with her natural meanness, I am sure she has said some awful stuff.

What was their first     kiss like?

It was awful. Some other 7th grader when she was in 7th grade. Too wet. Thought he was trying to drown her.

What is the worst thing     they did to someone they loved?

Repeatedly blackmailing her father for her own benefit.

What are their     ambitions?

She wants to outshine her father, claim their last name as her own and not the sullied version her father left in the wake of his controversy. That is why her blog and future magazine is named after her.

What advice would they     give their younger self? It’s not Jenny’s fault.

What smells remind them     of their childhood? Perfume and peppermints.

What was their childhood     ambition?

Growing up, her mind stayed on the pageant world. Her ambitions usually stayed just one pageant ahead of her.

What is their best     childhood memory?

She doesn’t know if it’s real or not, just this soft memory of her father grinning and spinning around the living room with her, dressed in his coat and tails.

What is their worst     childhood memory?

Listening in from the hall as his father confessed everything to her mother, hearing her mother sobbing as he threw clothes into a suitcase.

When was the last time     they were crushed with disappointment?

The last one? She still hasn’t got over her first one.

Love

Do they believe in love     at first sight?

She only barely believes in love in any form.

·       How do they behave in a relationship?

Georgette really doesn’t do relationships, thanks to that whole “love isn’t real” thing. They usually last a month or so, but she gets bored and has no issue telling him to get lost after that point.

When did you character     last have sex? Perhaps a couple weeks ago.

What sort of sex do they     have?

She is looking for something hot, passionate, and with someone she doesn’t have to worry about calling back.

Conflict

How do they respond to a     threat?

Georgette doesn’t back down from a threat, though her means for fighting usually involves $$$ instead of doing any sort of fighting herself.

Are they most likely to     fight with their fists or their tongue? Tongue.

What is your character’s     kryptonite? Point out her lack of backup.

If your character could     only save one thing from their burning house, what would it be? Say it     with me… diamonds.

How do they perceive     strangers?

Her trust or lack of trust in them is based solely on how they look.

What do they love to     hate? Oh, that is way too long a list to put here.

What are their phobias?     Bugs of any sort.

What is their choice of     weapon? Poison.

What living person do     they most despise? Her father.

Have they ever been     bullied or teased? That would not go well for that person.

Where do they go when     they’re angry? Home, to seethe and plot.

 Work, Education and Hobbies

What is their current     job? Blogger.

What do they think about     their current job?

She has dreams of something bigger, more substantial, but she’s thankful for the success the gossip blog has had and excited to grow it.

What are their hobbies?     Painting, reading, dancing.

Educational background?     Some college.

Intelligence level?

I believe she is fairly smart, but her work ethic covers a lot of distance for her.

Favorites

What is their favorite     animal? Doggies.

What is the most     beautiful thing they’ve ever seen? Her face in the mirror.

What is their favorite     song? Ego by Beyonce

Music, art, reading     preferred? Ooooooh… probably reading

What is their favorite     color? Gold

What is their password?

Honestly it is probably a secure combination of letters put together by a professional.

Favorite food: Lasagna

What is their favorite     work of art? Judith and the Head of Holofornes

Who is their favorite     artist? Gustav Klimt

What is their favorite     day of the week? Saturday

Possessions

What is in their fridge?     A lot of water, veggies, meal prepped chicken

What is on their bedside     table? The current book she is reading, a bouquet of pink and white roses,     a gold lamp, a rose gold silk eye mask

Spirituality

Who or what is your     character’s guardian angel?

If she has a guardian angel, she would really like a word with it.

Do they believe in the     afterlife? I mean, she now knows Hades, so yeah

What are their religious     views?

Once you meet a god, you kinda realize which system of beliefs is the right one

·       How would they like to die? Painless and pretty

What is their zodiac     sign? Leo

Values

What do they think is     the worst thing that can be done to a person? Abandonment

What is their view of     ‘freedom’?

Able to make your way through life on your own two feet without having to rely on anyone else to support you.

When did they last lie?     Probably an hour ago

What’s their view of     lying? It definitely can make things easier.

When did they last make     a promise?

She doesn’t really bother. You either do things or you don’t. The rest is just extra words.

Daily life

What are their eating     habits? Healthy food prepared by a chef.

Describe their home.

Luxurious home in a gated community bought by her father.

Are they minimalist or a     clutter hoarder? Minimalist.

What do they do first     thing on a weekday morning? Drink a glass of cold water.

What do they do on a     Sunday afternoon?

She can be found putting the finishing touches on her blog post for the week.

What do they do on a     Friday night?

She can just as easily be found out dancing as home alone working.

What is the soft drink     of choice? She doesn’t drink soda.

What is their alcoholic     drink of choice? Merlot.

Miscellaneous

What or who would your     character dress up as for Halloween? Anything sexy.

Are they comfortable     with technology? She can do basic things.

If they could save one     person, who would it be? Jenny.

If they could call one     person for help, who would it be? Over her dead body.

What is their greatest     extravagance? Jewelry

What is their perception     of redemption? She hopes it’s real.

What would they do if     they won the lottery? It would change her life 0%.

What is their favourite     fairytale?

She isn’t really big on fairytales, but definitely prefers the darker original versions. So much more realistic than that happily ever after in love bullshit.

Do they believe in happy     endings?

She believes in the ability of a person to make their own damn happy ending.

What is their idea of     perfect happiness?

Surrounded by a family that loves her

If your character could     travel through time, where would they go?

She has it on good authority that life gets more uncivilized the farther back you go, so she’s good, thanks.

If they could have a     superpower, what would they choose?

Full on mind control. She’ll make you do what she wants and feel no guilt.

[naivesilver]

@bewilderedmoth​ FINE. Fine. Since today is a Monday and therefore a day much more suited for a vitriolic commentary on terrible insects, I shall fulfill your request and the anon’s. I’m warning everyone in the premises, though -  this is a “no fucks given” list, so it may get ugly at any time. Also, as usual, this is only for things that I’ve already watched, so if you know of some cricket horror and don’t see it mentioned, assume I’ve yet to get to that specific adaptation.

Alright then! To the barricades!

1) Disney’s Pinocchio (1940)

The first of his genre. Look at this asshole - he’s literally the last creature I’d entrust my child to. The fact Pinocchio had to spend his first couple days of life with this guy shadowing his every step is mind-boggling, and it’s made even worse by the fact that the Blue Fairy put him in charge of another man’s kid, as though she had the right to make that choice.

(I won’t fall for the desire of dunking on the Fairy more, as this is a Cricket list, but believe me, the temptation is there. It always is.)

As Disney sidekicks go, he’s one of the worst. He’s not funny, and despite having literally ONE job he manages to fail spectacularly at it. He’s snappish at Pinocchio, he abandons his charge about two hours into the new day, he spends a much longer time flirting with female-presenting inanimate objects/animals/supernatural beings than doing any actual childrearing. He should have been forgotten the instant the movie left the theaters, but instead Disney made him one of his main mascots, giving him the role of storyteller or ghost or whatever the fuck they need him to do at the time. So not only is he single-handedly responsible for every other entry in this list, I keep finding him everywhere I turn my eyes to. A knock-off version of his Ghost of Christmas Past self was in the new Ducktales, too, so my friend freenklin (who already has had to endure many of my complaints) received some VERY disappointed scream-texts as I was liveblogging my watch.

Just...no. Get him out of my sight.

(Also Ewan McGregor is bound to voice him in the live action and like??? Excuse me??? Are we supposed to not make Obi Wan jokes??? Will he abandon his young padawan Pinocchio to the evil Strombolitroopers???)

2) Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night (1987)

This movie is at the bottom of my Pinocchio adaptation ranking, and boy, does it deserve the dishonor. The story is a weird mixture of adaptation and sequel, approximately a tenth of the characters actually appear in the book, and I can’t forgive them for ruining what could have been the coolest concept ever (Pinocchio as a pawn in a fight of good vs evil) into this disgrace of a cartoon.

As for the Cricket, in this case he’s not even a cricket. He’s a glowworm, and he’s a goddamn puppet too, to whom the Fairy gave life. I wonder, is the entirety of her job just...transforming people’s creations into sentient beings so that they can lead others to a honest life? Tell me, ma’am, do you want to breathe life into my disappointing Powerpoint presentations too, so that they might bully me into graduating?

Anyway, if you’re wondering what purpose Gee Willikers (sigh) serves, the answer is NONE. Pinocchio gets rid of him at least twice (good for him) and as easily as drinking a glass of water, he’s a burden to the (admittedly cooler) additional characters, like the aviator bee, and not only is he ugly as fuck, but also so annoying every time he gets a chance to speak that it’s a miracle he wasn’t cut out in post-production.

In short, disgusting. If he entered my home I’d swat him with a flycatcher until he leaves.

3) Pinocchio (2009)

This is essentially Disney’s Jiminy Cricket, but female, anthropomorphic, and with a passion for books instead of pretty ladies or ladies-adjacent objects. Mind you, a sapphic Cricket would perhaps have saved more than one adaptation, this one included, but I’m glad they skipped that part altogether. This miniseries has enough issues as it is.

I’m sorry, she’s just too annoying. Luciana Littizzetto can be funny, but in small doses, otherwise her jokes start to become repetitive. Two hours straight - and yes, it’s that much, because SOMEONE decided to follow Disney’s footsteps a little too well - are too long even for the strongest of hearts. Plus, none of the characters’ costumes are very flattering, accurate or well-made (except for Lampwick 💖), but hers just might take the cake. It looks like a mixture between a teenager’s first attempt at steampunk fashion and a Mardi Gras costume lifted from the discarded items’ bin at a cheap store. Takes you out of the fantasy more than anything else.

4) Roberto Benigni’s Pinocchio (2002)

I’ve talked at length of the weirdness of this movie, but all in all it’s a pretty accurate transposition of the story, from the dialogue to the scenery.

Except for him.

The Cricket in this case does appear in the scenes belonging to him, but ALSO in a long and extremely useless sequence where he tries to find Pinocchio in the Land of Toys and gets kicked around by literally everyone present. Don’t get me wrong, that’s something I would have liked to do as well, but it was totally unnecessary, and it gave nothing to the overall story. This movie still holds the record as the most expensive Italian movie ever made, so wouldn’t it have been better for everybody to  skip that part entirely? Not only it would have saved them some money, but also it would have saved me from seeing this guy for an additional fifteen minutes on my screen.

Still, pretty tame compared to some of the others. Could have been worse.

5) Once Upon A Time (2011)

I debated long and hard before making this choice, and I’m not putting him in with a light heart, but before you come at me with pitchforks, please listen.

I like Archie, okay! He’s a fun character, the human side of his backstory was great and gave him a lot of depth and inner turmoil, and the concept of Jiminy Cricket being a therapist is amazing and hilarious. But he’s kind of a shit therapist, whose actions aren’t always what you’d expect from someone who’s supposed to be a conscience and a guide. And despite the show giving us the impression that he and Pinocchio had the same adventures as in the Disney movie (which doesn’t exactly endear him to me - if it wasn’t for his later character development he’d already be Lil Nas X-ing his way down to the bottom of my list), he and August never interacted on screen after the First Curse broke. Not once. And if there’s someone who needs therapy and support, that’s August Wayne Booth.

Yes, I did say at some point that I’d like to fix this in a fic. I’ll write it when I don’t have like eight projects on my table at the same time.

Finally, two scenes settled the matter for me: one, him pontificating at Snow about her trying to do everything on her own, without even pretending to help her set up the stroller she was struggling with at that very moment. I work with kids every day, I know exactly what she’s going through. Shut your mouth and open the damn stroller, Archie.

And two...That one fucking scene where he’s jumping out of Snow White’s cleavage. Honestly, what the fuck??? I wouldn’t even have remembered it if Libby hadn’t reminded me, so I suppose my brain tried to remove the traumatic memory before it caused any further damage, but it exists, and I’m still wondering why. What exactly was the deal with the writers, when they made that choice? I want a glass of what they were having, because by God, does it sound like a trip-inducing cocktail.

Aaaand we’re done! Remember, this is all part of my personal opinion, and I’m not to be taken seriously even on the best of days. Plus, my favorite cricket-esque character, aside from the book-accurate ones, is Gina from Piccolino no Bouken, who is a duck, a sassy little bastard and no closer to Collodi’s canon than any of these fuckers. So yes, when it comes to choices dictated by the heart, I am an hypocrite. Au revoir!

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

A spooky midnight feast

What a long night - and I mean that in a good way! First the theatre, now it's the Spooky Moon Festival. We just enjoyed a spooky midnight feast hosted by Jack to kick off the festivities.

A couple days ago we visited Peace Coast Island to see Marlo and Don. Marlo’s an old friend from Rosevine who left home about six years ago to become an actress in New York City. Not too long after moving there, Marlo met Don, a journalist for News Times, and as of last year they became engaged.

Marlo is who some would consider a starving artist. While she has appeared in numerous commercials, soap operas, and stage shows, Marlo hasn't gotten her big break yet. She has always managed to get by with odd jobs in between sporadic gigs but it sometimes seems like she gets the short end of the stick. It's a shame because she really is a talented and versatile actress.

But it looks like Marlo's finally gonna get her big break with Sugar and Spice, a brand new musical comedy drama that just made its debut at Starlight Theatre. The show played for two weeks there and the next stop will be Port Beacon, followed by Etienne Falls, Glassenwick, Cabot Bridge, and Petunia. This isn't the first time Marlo's gone on tour for a brand new show, but in past experiences, the show turns out to be a bomb and the tour closes early. Though based on the reviews for Sugar and Spice so far - as well as my own thoughts on it - we have high hopes!

Tagging along with Marlo for the first leg of the tour is Don. Since Marlo went off on her first tour, Don has been tagging along to write a review for the show, so he gets work done and gets to spend some time with Marlo - a win-win situation for both. However, if the tour goes on for the full twelve weeks - or more if things go really well - that's gonna be the longest time the two have been apart from each other.

Instead of heading back to New York, Don's gonna be staying at the camp for a while. He's gonna write an article about the Spooky Moon Festival, which he plans to finish tomorrow to get that out of the way. Marlo was the one who suggested that he take some extra days off by visiting the camp to get his mind off things. It's so sweet how much they're gonna miss each other while Marlo's away.

I've met Don a handful of times since he and Marlo started dating. They're a sweet couple, like a comedic duo with Marlo being the funny one while Don's the straight one - they play off each other super well. Anyone who can keep up with Marlo's antics while having a great sense of humor is a winner. I can't wait for the day when they finally get married!

Considering how long they've been together, it was hard to believe that they almost broke up last year. Don spoke about the near breakup when he and Marlo appeared as guests on Garden Chats, a podcast about mental health, a couple months back. It's a really good episode that not only brings up interesting points about the stigma behind depression but also the strong bond Marlo and Don share. Don said that he was hesitant to do the podcast at first but in the end he was glad he did it.

How the two got together is a cute and funny story. Marlo had her first acting gig for an ad for a security system where she played a damsel in distress during a break in. Don was nearby and thought Marlo was in danger so he swooped in to save the day, only to be humiliated after getting yelled at by her and the crew. The poor guy was so caught up in helping someone in need that he failed to notice the cameras and other equipment that were clearly visible. After getting over the embarrassment, Marlo decided to take him out to dinner as she found him kinda cute and didn’t want to be responsible for him crawling under a rock and never ever seeing the light of day again.

For the next four years Marlo and Don hardly left each other’s side. Marlo’s dad often complains that every time he comes over to visit his daughter, her boyfriend’s always there - though over the years he’s warmed up to him. Likewise whenever Marlo comes home, Don usually tags along with her. I think it was Luciana or maybe Emmaline who said that sometimes they forget that Don’s not from Rosevine nor has he ever lived there.

In a way it’s kinda like an opposites attract sort of relationship. Don’s more serious and levelheaded while Marlo is more lighthearted and playful. She’s confident and ambitious, always jumping from one thing to another. He’s more of a go with the flow type, the one who picks and chooses his battles with consideration. He may come across as a no nonsense kind of guy sometimes, but he’s also a sensitive one. She may have a tendency to ramble on and attract trouble, but you have to admit her heart’s in the right place. Marlo gets in over her head while Don gets taken in for the ride. They compliment and contrast each other - sometimes even picking up each other’s traits over the years.

So imagine what was going through everyone’s heads when rumors started going around about the engagement being broken. Since there was never really a confirmation or a denial, no one really knew what was going on. At least for me and my circle of friends, while we were concerned, we knew it wasn’t our place to get involved in any way. Now that we know what really happened thanks to the podcast, I’m glad that the whole thing never really made the gossip mill.

The podcast that Don and Marlo did was hosted by Lessa, probably making it the first time I’ve ever listened to a podcast where I know the host and the guests on a personal level. Don spoke about how he was recently diagnosed with clinical depression and how he had suspected that something was wrong with him for a long time before that. Pressure from work and his engagement along with a bunch of other personal issues led to him getting cold feet and abruptly breaking things off with Marlo. With everything going on he suddenly found himself unable to cope so he ended up almost sabotaging the best thing to ever happen to him. Looking back, he felt that it was his way of punishing himself for not being happy enough despite having everything he could have ever wanted (and more) from someone he loved.

Marlo also spoke about the near breakup and how she began doubting herself when Don started pushing her away. When he told her that he couldn’t marry her, she couldn’t believe it. So she fought back, demanding an explanation and blaming herself. But because she loved him, Marlo knew that she couldn’t just stand there and watch Don slip into a downward spiral.

The “breakup” lasted for about a month, which was the longest Marlo and Don went without talking to each other. By then their friends had noticed a change in Don’s behavior as he was isolating himself from everyone and acting erratically. Marlo felt helpless but persisted and once Don realized that he wasn't all right, he turned to Marlo and her family for help. Since then their relationship has grown stronger.

It was interesting to hear them be so open and vulnerable about their struggles. If the whole conversation isn't proof of how much they care about each other, I don't know what is. I'm glad that Don's getting the help he needs and that Marlo's luck is finally changing.

As for the wedding, there's no set date yet but it's definitely happening. Though at this point they're pretty much like an old married couple, which is super cute. With everything going on in their personal and professional lives, they want to wait until things settle down before tying the knot. Daisy Jane, Andrea, Almie, and I are betting that the wedding's happening sooner rather than later - as in this year. Based on these past few days, it looks like we're not too far off the mark!

Marlo was absolutely fantastic in Sugar and Spice! From the catchy songs to the witty dialogue and relatable characters, it's no wonder that the play has been getting glowing reviews! Marlo stole the show, easily one of the highlights of the play. Unlike previous shows Marlo toured for, she's not stuck being the saving grace of a poorly executed script, something that she has been the victim of far too many times.

The show's about a group of friends who work at a bakery called Sugar and Spice. Marlo is Gingie, a newcomer who had just left home and rediscovers her love for baking through the bakery. There's a funny running gag of Gingie coming up with the most ridiculous cookie recipes that turn out good and leaving the kitchen in such a state of disaster in the process. It's a cute and funny show about a bunch of friends who like to bake.

In between shows, Marlo joined us at the camp. Most of the nights were sold out or didn't have enough seats for the camp, which was why we were unable to attend the first week. Once things got settled down with rehearsals and such, Marlo and Don were able to have some time for themselves at the camp. The two enjoyed picnics on various hangout spots, sightseeing near the mountains, and chilling at the beach.

We also helped Jack set up for the Spooky Moon Festival. Marlo was bummed that she's gonna miss it so Don promised to take a lot of pics for her. It's been great catching up with them and seeing them have fun together. They plan to return in the near future so that's something to look forward to!

The Spooky Moon Festival comes once every few years to celebrate the Spooky Moon. While helping out with the festival, I've learned a lot about the event. Basically there's a spooky looking moon that looks like it's covered in cobwebs that comes into view every four years. It looks super cool, like something out of a vintage spooky picture you see in old books. Everything about the festival gives off Halloween vibes and I'm really digging the aesthetic!

After seeing Marlo off, we got to prepping for the midnight feast. Don's been a great deal of help and it's nice getting to know him on a one on one basis. I think this is the first time I've hung out with him without Marlo. He's been enjoying the camp, which is great as Marlo didn't want him to worry about her too much. Like I said, it's sweet how much they watch out for each other.

At midnight, the festivities began! Making the food was a lot of fun, especially making everything look spooky and cool for the occasion. Decorating cookies was my favorite part as well as cutting out dough into fun shapes for the pies. It took a lot of prep time but the effort was so worth it - everything came out great!

Along with the food, we enjoyed listening to spooky stories, playing fun games, and looking at the moon through the astronomer's telescope. The Spooky Moon's a lovely view to see, made even better with good company to share it with!

[clexa--warrior]

There’s a new group of villains on Fear The Walking Dead.

Well not entirely new. These are the same people who’ve been scrawling “The end is the beginning” everywhere. The same people with the submarine who are looking for Morgan who took the Magical Key from the bounty hunter way back at the beginning of Season 6.

I admit, I’m just kind of tired at this point. Tired of all the bullshit and bad writing and the tedious characters and the predictable stories. Tired of the parade of mediocre villains. Bone weary. And yet here I am, still reviewing this damn show.

Let’s take a little walk down memory lane, shall we?

TV’s Greatest Villains

At the beginning of Season 5, after the Most Horrible Villain Of Any Walking Dead Show was taken care of at long last, we got a new group of bad guys who . . . just wanted their warehouse back? And directions to an oil refinery?

Truly, these were now The Most Horrible Villains Of Any Walking Dead Show Ever.

Logan (played by a woefully underutilized Matt Frewer) was the head honcho of these bad apples and he fooled Morgan’s group into flying a plane they didn’t know how to fly far, far away to help some strangers in another part of the vast continent of Texas. Then he . . . moved back into his warehouse! The bastard.

After half a season of trying to fix the plane so they could fly back across the Pacific Ocean (which we all know separates the two halves of Texas) Logan tries to pretend like he’s a decent guy and fools the Morganites into showing him where the oil refinery is. Dastardly Logan! Then, just when Morgan and Logan decide that their names are similar enough that they might as well be friends, the Rangers show up!

They show up on horses with rifles and expertly kill Logan and every single member of his crew but for reasons (reasons!) they spare Morgan and the Morganites. It turns out that Logan was working for the evil witch queen of Lawton, Virginia—Truly The Most Horrible Villain Of Any Walking Dead Show Ever (Seriously). She is so evil that she kills the people working for her, who helped lead her to the oil refinery, and spared some people she didn’t know who weren’t loyal to her at all for reasons.

Yes, you heard me. Reasons! You don’t get to know the reasons. That’s not how scripts work. Scripts are supposed to be confusing, opaque and riddled with plot holes and inexplicable character choices.

Anyways, Virginia and the Rangers with their horses and their cowboy hats and their idyllic Texas aesthetic become the new Big Bads sometime in the second half of Season 5. Morgan and Friends make a PSA documentary to make sure anyone wandering from gas station to gas station is able to know who to call (GHOSTBUSTERS!) if they’re in trouble (which, like, yeah it’s a zombie apocalypse) because Morgan really wants to make up for all the bad things he’s done and so do all his friends.

Virginia is very mean, though, and so she makes a PSA, too, and that pisses Morgan off so bad that he takes his people far, far away to an abandoned Western-themed park-town filled with zombies and they make another PSA on the way that’s even more amazing and magical but a dude dies making it, marking the Best Walking Dead Death of All Time in the process. Seriously a dude decides it’s so important to film a selfie shot for the PSA that he dies when a bridge that’s collapsing surprisingly collapses! And then everyone is very sad!

Then, uh, after a spell at the new town that has no resources or water because it’s a theme park town instead of a real town, Wes and Alicia paint some stuff and June and John Dorie get married and Daniel plays some guitar and sings and Frank Dillane is like “Holy shit I’m so glad I bailed on this show” and then Virginia comes because Morgan calls her because instead of walking somewhere else they decide they should call the Evil Witch Queen Of Lawton so she can rescue them by splitting them all up (even Skidmark the cat!) and then the season ends with Morgan getting swarmed by zombies but don’t worry he’s still alive and they’ll tell us as much in a trailer that comes out before Season 6 because AMC is criminally addicted to spoiling their own shows for no reason on social media and . . . and . . .

Somewhere between Season 5’s finale and Season 6’s premiere AMC and showrunners Ian Goldberg and Andrew Chambliss must have put their heads together with Scott Gimple and decided that the Rangers and Virginia were actually super dull villains, just like the last few villains (I skipped the whole Vultures plot because they were actually so stupid they put the stadium under siege but still let Madison and co. go out scavenging because somehow they never read the Siege 101 manual or something).

Anyways, for reasons that must be obvious by now, somebody must have pointed out that Virginia is not a very good villain after all, partly because she’s just not that convincing but mostly because she made a goddamn copycat PSA and someone thought that was actually a cool story because there is no God and life’s not fair and this is also why we can’t have nice things, son.

And they must have realized that the Rangers are a like a cartoon version of what might happen in Texas after a zombie outbreak (just compare this clown show to the far more realistic Vatos gang from Season 1 of The Walking Dead). All these realizations must have felt strangely repetitive after what I can only imagine were similar revelations about Martha, the Vultures and Logan. So many revelations, so little useful insight or meaningful changes!

The Believers

In any case, they had June kill Virginia after a weird series of events that also saw one of the only good characters left on this godforsaken show get killed by yet another brat, and came up with The Believers, a group almost entirely inspired by The Monkees. These totally realistic folk live underground where they grow crops and embalm zombies and talk about how you need to be able to “see” when you look at this one creepy zombie they have entwined in vines in their basement. They’re led by a guy named Teddy played by John Glover who must really be down on his luck to take a role on this ridiculous show, though he’s actually creepy as a villain so that’s something. But no, I’m not going to feel any hope or optimism because fool me once shame on me, fool me again and George W. Bush, man. He has something to say about this.

Wes and Alicia and Al and Luciana all find their way to these people. I honestly can’t remember how they found them, but they show up to scout things out. They get interviewed like we’re back in Alexandria. Things go bad when Wes runs into his long-lost brother and ends up killing him after a scuffle over a gun. Wes’s brother has had a little too much of that Kool-Aid if you know what I mean. Wes isn’t too shook up about it. Remember when the entire brothers Dixon conflict between Merle and Daryl played out over the course of one single episode of The Walking Dead? Yeah, me neither.

Luciana says stuff because she’s still on this show for some reason. She says stuff a few times and people say stuff back to her. Al checks an embalmed zombie with a helmet on thinking it might be her lover girl from Season 5, because you totally embalm zombies with their helmets still on, but it’s not. Boy I was really worried there for a second!

Alicia sets the embalmed zombies on fire so they can get away and the others escape but Alicia doesn’t and then she has to have a whole entire conversation with Teddy and it’s pretty damn awkward when she tells him “You wanna kill me? That’s not gonna happen.”

Teddy’s like “whoa damn I was going to kill you but now that’s not going to happen crap” and Alicia’s like “So there, Teddy. You jerk face with your crazy-man beard.”

He knows something about Madison somehow. And he wants to “save you, Alicia” but “I don’t need saving” she tells him and then he talks in more cryptic circles. Teddy’s been looking for someone like Alicia for a long, long time and she’s like “listen old man at least I got some lines this episode!” which, to be fair, is true.

THE END. CREDITS ROLL.

Verdict

Yes, I am clearly mocking just about everything about this show. But I didn’t come up with this crap. I didn’t come up with Martha and the ethanol, or the plane and the beer-balloon, or Totally Pointless Logan, or Ginny and her boring ass cowboys. Maybe Teddy will be a better villain than all these. To be fair, he is a better villain already in a lot of ways. Then again, the bar set by the Vultures, Martha, Logan and Virginia is not very high. It’s so low, it’s less a bar and more of a speed bump.

So while Teddy is far more intriguing than the rest, and it’s even possible that Glover’s brief appearance here in this episode was better than the sum of all the other villains in this show since Season 4, I imagine they’ll find a way to screw him up also and then, as soon as he’s worn out his welcome, replace him with some other group of bad guys. The Shouters, a group of post-apocalyptic crazy people who wear zombie faces and shout at each other really loud, led by a bald woman named Alphapha.

Here’s the thing.

We need more than just Good Guys vs Bad Guys. There are other struggles to work with in fiction. Friction between the group that causes realistic, compelling internal strife. Survival against the elements and just the struggle of surviving in a world laid low by a pandemic, maybe without creature comforts like walkie-goddamn-talkies. Or perhaps a compelling story about a survivalist group at odds with a Native American tribe over water rights, whose intertwined family histories are marred by murder and revenge, where our heroes find themselves torn between both sides of a bloody fight they know very little about.

Yeah, what a notion.

Like I said at the very top of this review, I’m tired. I’m tired of Fear The Walking Dead. I’m tired of the same crap happening over and over again, another absurd bad guys who ultimately make the same fatal choice: They mess with Morgan Jones. NOBODY messes with Morgan Jones.

Maybe Morgan can make a PSA about how mean and delusional Teddy is and then Teddy can make a PSA about how The End Is The Beginning, Actually, Morgan You Twit. It’s just all nonsense at this point and it has been since the end of Season 3. We aren’t dealing with actual stories about real people. We’re watching a cartoon with two-dimensional cartoon villains and a bunch of uninteresting flat characters. Except a cartoon would be more fun.

What is the point of this show now? It’s like a goofier version of The Walking Dead, which also suffers from too many villain groups at this point and too many characters but not this level of crappy writing (usually).

Let me predict the plot for the remainder of Season 6 and likely part of Season 7 if AMC is actually going to let the current showrunners continue driving this show into the ground:

Teddy wants the key from Morgan so he can use it to activate the nuclear bombs on the nuclear sub that’s in the middle of Texas (because Texas, you recall, is separated by the Pacific Ocean which has dried up because ZOMBIES and the sub is there now). He wants to nuke the planet because he wants to save everyone because they’re weak probably. From this nuclear wasteland, new life will spring eternal and his cult—well protected in their underground parking garage with their cute little gardens—will be the new rulers of the world. Or at least of Texas which—we know because of geography class—accounts for approximately 57% of Earth’s land mass.

Look, I’m sorry. I’m really truly sorry but if this show continues to be a joke I don’t know why we should take it seriously. A mocking review if only fitting for a show that continues to make a mockery of itself. AMC has the resources and the wherewithal to produce a better zombie show and quite frankly audiences deserve one. There was nothing fundamentally awful about “The Holding” so I’m honestly not fully sure why I’m in such a snarky mind frame, but there was nothing very good about, either, and it’s just plain as day to me that they’re already falling into the same traps they keep falling into over and over and over again. Meet the new bad guy, same as the old bad guy. It’s all so predictable.

Because they don’t really learn from their mistakes, or because even if they do they just don’t know how to course correct. That’s the problem when you just don’t have much talent but nobody steps in and says “enough is enough!”

Because seriously, my droogies, enough is enough already.

[razaks-wheel]

Archcanons, pt. 2

[Elyna Ralvas and Gavas Drin go to the Clockwork City to see to their gods' remains.

Sequel to this fic, and response to the #TESOctober prompt "Priestess."]

---

Elyna rose early the next morning and donned her armor as a precaution. Although she had dealt with all of the fabricants she had encountered during the previous day's trip to the Clockwork City, she had no way of knowing whether the city would have made more overnight. Looking over her weapons, she strapped an enchanted staff on her back and Trueflame on her hip. Her thoughts went to Hopesfire, still securely in her bag. Though she did not expect to use it, it felt strange to leave it behind and unprotected, and so she opted to keep it with her for this mission.

Once she felt sufficiently equipped, she returned to the temple to meet Archcanon Gavas. He was wearing his usual robes, which worried her somewhat, but Elyna knew most priests opted to go unarmored. She herself had only started wearing armor upon returning to Morrowind. She only hoped he knew enough defensive spells to protect himself should things get dangerous.

They exchanged few words of greeting and the briefest of briefings. This was not an exciting quest that they faced, but a solemn duty, and they tacitly agreed to respect the gravity of the situation. They joined hands to begin the teleportation. Elyna had contemplated how to effectively use the Mazed Band last night while she tried to sleep. When Almalexia teleported her to the Clockwork City, she had landed far from the Dome of Sotha Sil—probably in the hopes that she would be killed before she reached the central chamber. But Almalexia herself had landed in the Dome. She suspected that with some focus, she could target and land in a location of her choice within the city.

She concentrated and activated the Band. There was a warping sensation not too unlike that of a recall or intervention spell, and then they were standing outside of the Dome of Sotha Sil, just as she had planned. They waited at the door for a moment, gathering their bearings. Gavas gazed around at the brass hall, taking in the construction of this holy place. Elyna followed suit, realizing that in her focus the previous day, she never really had the chance to just look around and consider the beauty of this city created from nothing by a god.

The door to the Dome opened, and they were greeted by an Imperial woman who looked to be more brass than flesh, wielding a maul and fixing them with a harsh gaze. Behind her, Elyna could see another woman—a Dunmer—kneeling where she had left Sotha Sil's body.

"Who are you?" the woman with the maul asked. "What are you doing here?"

Elyna suppressed the instinct to reach for her blade and instead raised her hands. "Elyna Ralvas, Archcanon of Vivec."

"Gavas Drin, Archcanon of Mournhold. We came to do our duty to see to our gods' remains, and to find any high-ranking clergy of Sotha Sil to discuss...this whole situation. Would that be you?"

"It would," the woman said. She eyed them for a moment longer, and then slung her maul onto her back. "Luciana Pullo, Proctor of the Clockwork Apostles. And that's Varuni Arvel"—she pointed over her shoulder at the kneeling mer—"Chancellor of the Clockwork City. The two of us combined are probably the closest thing we have to an Archcanon." She stepped out of the way to allow them inside the chamber. "So, did you two get a vision, too? I didn't even know they could do that, but Varuni and I each had a dream last night telling us to come down here, and, well..." She gestured around the room.

Before they could feel obligated to explain how they came to know of their gods' death, Varuni stood up and came over to them. Though Elyna did not know her well enough to have a point of comparison, Varuni looked as if she had been crying. Her sense of guilt worsened at the sight.

"I'm glad to hear from someone from Nirn-Above," she said. "We were wondering how we would get this...information to the surface, since we don't have a reliable means of transport. Is Vivec...?"

"Safe, as far as I know," Elyna said.

"That's one good thing, at least," Varuni said. "We're trying to figure out what happened."

Luciana motioned them over to where Varuni had previously been kneeling. Elyna saw now that Almalexia's body had been brought over to lay beside Sotha Sil's.

"They both show signs of injury. One might think they fought each other to the death—for some reason—but the gears don't align with that explanation. Almalexia's body has clear signs of struggle, whereas Sotha Sil just has one stab wound to the chest, with some scorching around the edges. Also, it goes without saying that Seht wasn't exactly in a position to inflict the wounds we see on Almalexia.

"The best guess we have so far is that someone came here and stabbed Sotha Sil, and Almalexia learned of this and came to confront the murderer, but they managed to kill her as well, after a struggle. But hardly anyone can come and go from the Clockwork City, and fewer still would be able to kill two gods. I know it might be hard to imagine, but could it have been Vivec?"

Gavas glanced at Elyna, his face perfectly even, but Elyna recognized that he was deferring to her judgment.

Her heart raced with dread. She owed them the truth, but it would be no easier to deliver it than it was to Gavas. She bit her lip, and then willed herself to speak despite her instincts begging her to stay her tongue.

"It wasn't Vivec," she said quietly. "Almalexia killed Sotha Sil. And I killed Almalexia."

"You?" Luciana asked. She and her partner looked equal parts incredulous and appalled. "Explain yourself."

She recounted the relevant details of her stay in Mournhold and the previous day's trip to the Clockwork City, showing them Moon-and-Star, Trueflame, and Hopesfire as she went as proof of her claims.

"Well," Luciana said after a long moment of uncomfortable silence when Elyna had finished her tale. "That settles that, I guess."

"We need to consider how to move forward," Gavas said. "Elyna and I—and the two of you would be most welcome, if you wish—can take their bodies back to...Nirn...and into the care of the Temple—"

"No, sorry, that's not going to happen," Luciana said.

Gavas looked slightly confused. "We would see that they are treated with the utmost dignity, of course. Due to the sensitivity of this matter, they would be seen to only by the highest-ranking Temple officials and Vivec—"

"It's not going to happen," Luciana repeated. "You can take Almalexia back, but you'll forgive us if we don't hand our patron's remains over to the Temple and the House of his murderer."

"Ah. Right. I see your point," Gavas said awkwardly.

"We'll construct a tomb for him here in the City."

"As you wish," he said. "We would still invite both of you to come with us to the surface sometime soon. The four of us should meet with Vivec to discuss the future of the Tribunal Temple."

"That we could do," Varuni said. She was still eyeing Elyna with some caution and had been inching closer to Luciana since the reveal, but Elyna could tell she wanted to help as much as possible. "I assume you have some means of transportation?"

"Yes, I still have the Mazed Band," Elyna said.

"I knew that thing would come back to bite us sometime," Luciana said. "I guess I should be impressed it took so long. Did you have to kill Barilzar for it?"

"I did. Did you know him?"

"Everyone knew Barilzar. He was an eccentric old Apostle—one of many, granted—back in the Second Era. He left the City using that device he created, and then I guess Sotha Sil tasked him with protecting it with his life."

"More than his life, it seems," Elyna said. "He was a powerful lich—one of surprisingly many in Mournhold's sewers—when I encountered him." Her mind drifted back through the whirlwind of events that led her here. "It's strange to think of him as a Clockwork Apostle, or a mortal at all. When I fought him, I only knew him as a dangerous opponent in possession of a dangerous artifact that Almalexia needed. I wish I had known...but I also believe that this was all just one last piece of the prophecy. It would have happened one way or another."

Varuni relaxed slightly from her inching. "Seht teaches that everything happens because it must happen, that every event is simply the natural next tick of the gears. If you add prophecy on top of that, I think you're right: this was bound to happen. Perhaps Lord Seht even knew it was coming."

"I'm sure he did," Luciana said.

"I just don't understand why he wouldn't have told us," she said, mostly to herself.

"I don't know either, but you can ask him yourself once he's been properly laid to rest." Luciana turned her attention back to the Archcanons. "Give us, say, three days to deal with things here, and then we can all go talk to Vivec. For now, you should see to Almalexia."

"Indeed," Elyna said. "In the meantime, I'm not sure how many people live here, but it might be best to keep...all of this out of public view. We can share the truth once we know where the Temple is going; the people deserve it. But for the time being, as much as I hate to say it, we need to stay in careful control of what the people know. We don't need them to find out what happened before we have a plan and despair, and—Three forbid—turn to the Nine."

"We'll keep it quiet for now," Luciana agreed, accompanied by a solemn nod from Varuni.

"Thank you."

With the help of the two Clockwork Apostles, they wrapped Almalexia's body in a shroud to protect her identity from any onlookers who might be nearby when they returned home. Elyna offered to be the one to carry her, as she was the one to bear the weight of her death, but Gavas insisted that it should be his responsibility. As Almalexia's Archcanon, this was his jurisdiction, and he would perform this one last task for his Lady. When Almalexia was securely in his arms and the details of their planned return had been finalized, the Archcanons Elyna and Gavas left the Clockwork City to return to Nirn-Above.

[mytitsareontheinternet-blog]

Being Jewish/Being Labour

My very first political experience came in Year 4 when I had to argue against Liverpool Football Club building a new stadium in Stanley Park, the iconic separator of Anfield and Goodison. Earning myself a lot of praise for my naturally argumentative streak and on a high from my first real debate, 9-year-old me wanted to be a politician for the best part of 3 hours. I recall my dad telling my neighbour of my new-found career path and said neighbour telling me to “always fight for the poor.” At the time I probably, definitely shrugged that remark off, now I see how that comment is representative of the city I grew up in. 

Welcome to Liverpool, a city built and repaired by the EU when Thatcher’s reign wanted to drive our city into the ground. A city that has fought and continues to fight tirelessly not only for the justice of the Hillsborough victims but to erase everybody’s misconceptions about a city of workers, artists, volunteers and activists that welcome the world with open arms. It is almost a moral obligation to vote Labour in this city, in more recent times “Did you vote Labour or Tory?” is becoming as common as “Are you a Red or a Blue?” You owe it to your city, to your family, to your friends and to your community to vote Labour in Liverpool, no matter who is in charge.

My second political experience came aged 10, completely unbeknownst to me. My grandad randomly goes silent and teary and takes our dog on her second walk of the hour. She definitely didn’t need to go out again, she wasn’t expressing any want to… Now I see my grandad just didn’t want us to see him break down. As I’ve gotten older, the more my family have opened up and the more honest the world has become around me, I learned that my grandad suffers from severe panic attacks. This is believed to be from the trauma of losing loved ones to the Holocaust and a series of antisemitic attacks that he has been the victim of a handful of times in his life. These revelations have made me angry, not only have my family lost loved ones and not only do we have to grieve family that could’ve been, we have to watch something that supposedly ended 75 years ago still snatch the livelihood from our nearest and dearest even now.

I’m in my last year of school, and everyone around me seems… weirdly excited about politics. It was almost like One Direction split up and British Parliament was the next best thing. I don’t know if there was something in the water or if Jeremy Corbyn’s rebranding of a rebranded Labour lit a fire up everyone’s arse, but knowing very little about him, I really liked him. He wants everyone in the country to have a garden? Oh, what a world. A wholesome, transparent and faultless politician? That is everything everyone ever told me an MP wouldn’t be, and there is nothing more exciting than being 17 and proving a boomer wrong. A year goes by and I’m still wooed by this man, sure he has a few haters by this point but who doesn’t… It’s not like Tories don’t have a reputation for saying and doing anything to protect themselves and as a Scouser, I knew that fact all too well.

Throughout the rise and fall of Corbynism, I turned 18, I started making my own money, I reconnected massively with my Jewish heritage and I was forming all kinds of relationships, I just wasn’t as invested in it anymore. I blindly voted based on a honeymoon-like misconception I had of a politician when I was a teenager. Coming up to the General Election 2019, I started to make some discoveries about Corbyn and the never dying anti-semitism accusations that came with his name. At first I thought these claims came from opportunistic Tories that would later turn their back on Jews when they got the outcome they wanted, and don’t get me wrong, a lot of it was just that, a lot of these accusations came from people that don’t care about Jewish people at all. I simply found it hard to believe that somebody who had it so right about every other aspect of my identity, could be so wrong about my ethnicity and religion.

Time proved me wrong. I quickly realised not all of these accusations came from fake allies riding on the back of Jewish activism to push their personal agenda. In fact, most of them never and I was confused. I confided in Labour Party members on multiple platforms about my confusion and upset and I simply just wanted people to be able to justify why the face of Labour called anti-Jewish terrorist organisations his “friends.” I wanted people to tell me why this man thought English humour was lost on British Jews. I wanted everyone who told me to support this man and his cause to explain why he was defending antisemitic caricatures and why he uses the word Zionist so loosely and why he can’t help but defend countless Holocaust deniers. I, myself, was met with the same abuse and anti-semitism that my grandad described. As well as what seemed like a reluctance of people coming to my defence, which left me more perplexed because this was unusual for Labour and its members when racism surfaces.

Despite what I was put through, how unwelcome and unheard I felt in a party bouncing with activism calling out social injustice, I felt like I would be a traitor not to have marked an X in the Labour box on my ballot. Part of me was saying you’re voting for a party, not a person. I thought about Steven Smith from Kensington being sanctioned, I thought about nurses and doctors and patients on corridors, I thought about the soaring numbers of food banks and rough sleepers. I thought about myself and the career I want to pursue in medicine and how I’m even going to get there when I know I’d struggle to make ends meet at university. The other part of me was reminded that I was now blacklisted from most Labour forums for being a Jewish Labour member with concerns, that Luciana Berger was forced out of her position as Wavetree’s MP as a Jewish woman because the anti-semitism that she received was so unbearable and of course, Labour’s leader wasn’t shy of antisemitic behaviour himself. This made me feel like a traitor putting X in the Labour box too. I couldn’t win. I did so on the grounds that I wanted a Labour government, I always had and I justified this on the basis that I would continue to to fight anti-semitism within the party, no matter how silenced I was. I wanted Jewish people to be able to access Labour and campaign with Labour without feeling either unwelcome or tokenised.

It was tough. It still is. It’s going to take a while to drain the party of antisemitism and it’s going to take even longer for Jewish people to be at the forefront again, but Labour isn’t inherently anti-semitic, it doesn’t have to be, there is a future for Jewish voices in Labour, but there is also a future where I will no longer advocate for a party that doesn’t advocate for me.

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

Chapter Thirty-Seven:

The One With Two False Accusations and One Brutal Confession

Detective Dupin gripped the two orphans’ shoulders as tightly as he could in pure excitement. He continued to snicker as Violet’s fear slowly drained from her being replaced by her anger. She harshly pushed Dupin’s hands off her shoulder and pulled her brother behind her. Klaus stood there confused.

“What?” He asked in disbelief.

“Count Olaf has been murdered,” Dupin repeated smirking at the elder two orphans.

She glared at him. She was at a loss for words. “ You…you...” she hissed.

Klaus matched Violet’s glare. “You won’t get away with this!” he shouted at the villain, who merely laughed at the young boy.

“Oh, Klaus, don’t you know by now I always have a few tricks up my sleeve,” He smirked. “You’re going to love this next part,” he said as he gripped onto the two children’s shoulders again..

“ I advise you to stop saying that,’ she warned pulling Klaus away from Detective Dupin.

“Let’s go…” He instructed giving the two children a push. “There’s a town meeting about my death and we surely wouldn’t want to miss it.”

I’m afraid I have some bad news that you will not like to hear, which is that some people in this world enjoy hearing bad news.

As Olaf forced Violet and Klaus into the middle of the town, they could hear murmurs in the crowd. “I heard Count Olaf was murdered in his jail cell last night,” she could hear Mrs. Morrow gossip.

“That’s bad news,” Mrs. Lesko commented. “I was excited to burn him at the stake.”

Violet shook in anger as she tried to get out of the fake detective’s grip. But he held both children tightly. She used her free hand to wipe tears from her eyes. She may not have known her Uncle Jacques for really long or at all, for that matter. But she knew that he meant a great deal to her father. Her father wasn’t one to discuss personal details from his childhood often but whenever he did, he had wonderfully nice things to say about both his siblings. Even if he hadn’t, Violet knew that the way she felt about Klaus and Sunny was a universal feeling. She only knew her siblings briefly and she knew she’d give her life for both of them without hesitation.

What is bad news to one person might be good news for someone else. Violet felt as though her world was crashing down as she turned back to see Olaf was smiling and his eyes were bright behind his sunglasses. No, it wasn’t a smile but a grin...a smirk...he was proud of the pain he was continuing to cause her. He was happy to know that he took yet another person from her life. Klaus glanced back towards the jailhouse wall where they had left Violet’s invention. They could see that the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender was walking towards it. Klaus looked towards them confused.

As the two siblings were forced to the front of the crowd. They gasped when they saw Jacques was lying on the ground with his eyes closed and two townspeople were pulling a white sheet over his bloody body. Violet stared at Jacques’ body doing her best to hold back any and all tears that were trying to escape. She refused to show any weakness to this fucker. As she took a final glance towards her uncle’s now lifeless body all she could think about was how her father was able to protect her siblings but she was unable to save his brother, her uncle, she felt as if she had once again failed her father and once that thought hit her, she couldn’t stop the harsh flow of tears that followed.

“Olaf’s been murdered,” they could hear townspeople claim.

“Olaf hasn’t been murdered at all…” Violet replied meekly. She felt her knees wobbling, slowly going weak. Klaus grabbed onto her to support her. “That’s my...my uncle…Jacques.”

And sometimes, what seems like good news...might actually be something full of sadness, misery, and grief. The story of Violet Snicket haunts me the way yet another untimely death haunts Violet in a small, dusty town. It fills me with sadness, misery, and grief. But you have no reason to be as haunted as I am...look away. This is nothing you ought to see.

Hector pushed through the crowd to find the two children he had been caring for. He could see that Violet was pale and she was silently crying. “Let’s go, children. This is nothing you ought to see,” he explained.

Detective Dupin quickly stepped in between Hector and the two children. Pushing Hector back. “Not so fast, daddy-o,” Dupin replied. “It’s just not cool to dismiss suspects from the scene of the crime,” he snapped his fingers to emphasize the word cool.

“Suspects?” Klaus repeated incredulously. “If anyone committed this murder, it was you!”

Both Violet and Klaus glared daggers at the man who stood before them. Violet quickly wiped away a few of her tears.

“It’s extra just not cool,” he replied snapping his fingers again to emphasize the word ‘cool’. “To disagree with Detective Dupin,”

“ Your name isn’t Detective Dupin...it’s…” Violet hissed through gritted teeth.

“Silence! Silence in the crowd!” the First Elder’s booming voice yelled. Causing Violet and Klaus to turn around quickly. The three Elders stood at the steps of Town Hall glancing out at the crowd.

“Gather round! The Council of Elders has called this emergency town meeting!” the second one yelled.

“There have been a lot of emergency town meetings lately. I’m falling behind on my stories,” Mrs. Morrow muttered.

“Ever since those troublesome orphans came into town,” Mr. Lesko replied back.

Violet and Klaus huddled together as a few murmurs were heard within the crowd.

“It’s imperative that we discuss this most mysterious murder!” the third Elder yelled.

“I don’t think it’s imperative. I think it is absolutely necessary,” Esme replied in her Officer Luciana voice as she stood on the edge of Fowl Fountain.

Klaus rolled his eyes, sighing. “‘Imperative’ means ‘absolutely necessary’, Esme.”

Esme glared daggers towards Klaus. “My name is not Esme. It’s Sarah Petunia Alexandra Maryellen…”

“Is that what she said yesterday?” Mrs. Morrow asked skeptically.

“But...as always you can call me Officer Luciana. Now let’s get down to business, Dupin. Do you have any important information?”

“ We have some important information,” Klaus yelled boldly pointing at himself and Violet. “This man is not Detective Dupin. He’s Count Olaf!”

“Those sunglasses may be hiding your eyebrow, and those hideous shoes may be hiding your tattoo, but you can't hide your identity! You’re Count Olaf and you’ve kidnapped our sister and the Quagmires and murdered Jacques!” Violet yelled.

“I’m confused,’ a townsperson explained.

“It’s not cool,” Olaf replied with a snap of his fingers. “To be confused, so let me see if Officer Luciana and I can help…” he stepped onto the edge of the fountain alongside his villainous girlfriend so he can address the entire town better. “I am the famous and extremely handsome Detective Dupin. I am wearing these shoes and sunglasses because they’re cool. “

Violet rolled her eyes as Klaus scoffed in annoyance.

“Now, as I was saying, before the orphans rudely interrupted me. Village of Fowl Devotees! I am here to bring you both protection and style.” she gestured to her disguise. It is my duty to lock up prisoners in the Uptown Jail, and I made sure Jacques was safe in his cell last night,”

Violet’s face beamed with happiness at Esme’s fuck up. Klaus held his breath hoping that the town had caught on. Even Olaf was fighting the urge to facepalm or yell at her. The children could see him take a deep breath in order to calm down.

“Who’s Jacques?” the first Elder asked.

Esme’s face froze. “It’s...my nickname for Count Olaf.” she stuttered finally. Smiling at the crowd.

“Oh,” the town murmured.

Violet and Klaus could not believe people were falling for this bitch’s bullshit. “Now...I have the only key to the jail, so his death is a mystery!” she announced smiling at Violet and Klaus.

The townspeople began to talk amongst themselves and a few of them even gasped.

“I do love a good mystery,” Mrs. Morrow called out.

“Especially when it takes place in a cozy village and stars a detective with a funny voice,” Mr. Lesko commented in agreement.

Detective Dupin began to scat. “You’re right, moldy oldies. But lucky for you cats, I’m a peachy detective with a face for TV and I’ve already cracked this Popsicle case!”

“Oooh!” Mrs. Morrow commented. “This sure is exciting!”

Violet wiped her eyes fiercely as Klaus rolled his eyes. ‘There’s nothing excited about an innocent man being murdered!” she screamed glaring at the two villains.

“We’re as shocked as you are,” Mr. Lesko commented. “But I thought Count Omar was involved in all sorts of crimes? How is he innocent,”

“His name is Count Olaf!” Klaus shouted.

“So you admit that you recognize him?” Officer Luciana asked smiling.

“That man isn’t Count Olaf!” Violet yelled referring to her uncle. “ This dumb fucker is!” she pointed her finger towards Detective Dupin.

“We went through this yesterday, orphans,” an Elder yelled. “That dead man had that bushy eyebrow and a tattoo of an eye on his ankle,”

“The tattoo isn’t of an eye!” Violet yelled in frustration. “It was of the letters V F D!”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” an Elder replied. “Why would Count Omar have the name of this town on his ankle,”

“That’s not the point!” Violet argued. “The point is that that man is the real Olaf!” she shouted pointing once more at Detective Dupin.

The crowd gasped in shock as Detective Dupin shrugged his shoulders towards the crowd.

“And that police officer is Esme Squalor!” Klaus added.

The crowd gasped once more as Esme glanced back at Klaus utterly confused.

“These fuckers kidnapped our sister and the Quagmires and now they’ve murdered my uncle, Jacques Snicket!” Violet cried.

Once more the crowd around the kids gasped. But these accusations did not phase either Olaf or Esme as they continued to play in character.

“These kittens have flipped!” Dupin exclaimed. “I am a groovy man of the law, man. I wouldn’t harm the hair on a baby with piranha teeth,” as he said that he smiled specifically towards Klaus. Both siblings shared a look of pure annoyance towards the villain. “As I said...I’ve already cracked this case,”

“ We’ve cracked this case, too!” Klaus shouted having enough of Olaf’s games.

“Everyone! Please!” Violet pleaded. “This man is the real Count Olaf...he murdered my uncle…”

“Wait? So Count Olaf is your uncle?” one villager asked.

“ No! ” Violet screeched angrily. “Count Olaf is right there and he murdered my uncle, Jacques Snicket!”

The villagers looked towards Violet utterly confused.

Officer Luciana rolled her eyes wanting to get to the point. She beckoned the crowd to hush. “Detective Dupin, you were saying before these orphans interrupted you,”

“Yes, thank you, officer,” Dupin replied. “Now, reconnoiter this, villagers. Miss Snicket and Mister Baudelaire here are pointing their bony little fingers at me because they are, in fact, one hundred percent,” he paused for dramatic effect and to make sure everyone in the crowd was paying attention. “... the murderers. ”

The entire crowd around the children gasped while Violet and Klaus glared daggers towards Olaf.

“ What?!” Violet yelled incredulously.

“As I said before if anyone committed this murder it was you!” Klaus shouted defensively.

“Those children can’t be the murderers,” one Elder commented. “They’re children,”

“Well...actually those aren’t mutually exclusive,” Klaus muttered as Violet smacked his arm.

“Shut up, Klaus,” Violet hissed. “You’re not helping.”

“Sorry…” he replied in a low whisper. “Force of habit,”

“Detective, you must have evidence for this startling and handsome accusation,” Luciana commented smiling.

“Correcto, lady cop. It’s just not cool to accuse people of murder without having evidence,” Dupin explained. He gave each child a nasty smile. “Lucky for you, I’m a great detective and I found some!”

“This is utter bullshit,” Violet protested angrily.

“Show them the evidence,” Luciana said as Dupin snapped his fingers. He pointed to his henchmen who began playing jazz instruments. Dupin began to snap his fingers to the beat.

“Orphans are dragsville, man. They come into your village, sneak into your jail,” he said as he hopped down from the edge of the fountain. He walked over to Violet and Klaus. “They kill and they pillage...with the help of these!” he swiftly reached his hands into Klaus’ inner jacket pocket. Klaus’ face dropped when he realized what Olaf had pulled out.

“Bluebird. Blue sky. Blueberry pie! Uh-uh, blueprints!” Dupin scat as he unfolded the blueprints for the whole town to see. Several villagers gasped, the Elders looked towards Klaus suspiciously. Klaus tried to avoid everyone’s gaze.

“I..I can explain that…” Klaus explained. He glared at Olaf. “This is circumstantial at best!”

“Yeah, man. That’s what the orphans used to find a weak space in the wall, so they could use,” he pointed his disgusting finger towards the uptown jail as the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender pushed Violet’s invention towards the crowd. Olaf looked to the invention confused. “Um...what is that thing?” he asked breaking character slightly, using his actual voice.

“Shit,” Violet muttered as she caught a glimpse of her invention.

“I think it’s some kind of mechanical device,” his henchperson replied wheeling it for all of the village to see.

The entire village gasped as they looked at Violet suspiciously.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Violet explained to the crowd. “I…”

“Oh, yeah,” Dupin replied smirking. “A device of mechanics so mean, Violet Snicket used that..” he began to scat. “...thing. They punched a hole in the wall of the jail. Crept in on bad cat paws and snuffed out the light of Count Olaf, um, in the night.”

“You fucking lying bastard!” Violet yelled.

“This is circumstantial evidence!” Klaus cried. “This doesn’t prove shit,”

Dupin smirked at Klaus. “Right you are, my little four-eyed kitten,” he hissed. “But...there’s more,”

Violet and Klaus looked at him in utter disbelief. Violet’s heart sank as he pulled out a long black ribbon of out his blazer pocket waving it around for the crowd and the children to see.

“No,” she whimpered realizing that she had made a mistake by giving Isadora that ribbon during their last rescue attempt. She realized now that he must have realized that it was in Isadora’s hair and he must have moved them afterward and set up the net. Not only had him relocating them been her fault...but now...he has physical evidence to accuse her of murder.

“I found this right outside Count Olaf’s jail cell,” he said. “It’s a ribbon, the exact kind of ribbon that Violet Snicket uses to tie up her hair…”

Violet looked ready to murder the real Olaf as he was now using her ribbons against her. The townspeople gasped and Violet turned to see that the citizens of VFD were looking at her with suspicion and fear, which are not pleasant ways to be looked at.

Violet pulled her ribbon out of her hair. “My hair ribbon is right here!” she explained. “That one isn’t mine!” she lied nervously. She glanced around at the suspicious looks the villagers were giving her. She sighed as she walked over and yanked the black ribbon from Olaf’s grasp. She thought of Isadora as she stuffed the ribbon into her pocket for safekeeping.

Dupin cocked his head to the side to indicate to Violet that she’s a terrible liar.

“How can we tell?” an Elder asked. “All hair ribbons look alike,”

“Right you are, moldy oldie.” Dupin said.

“They might look alike but that doesn’t mean it’s mine,” Violet replied bitterly.

“So you’re telling me...that you only own one hair ribbon?” Dupin asked.

“I plead the fifth,” Violet muttered.

“What if I told you, villagers, that Violet Snicket has a plethora of hair ribbons stored in her purple backpack,” Dupin replied smirking towards Violet.

She glared refusing to respond to Dupin. She pulled her backpack off her back, clutching it. Klaus frowned. “Okay...so maybe the ribbon could be hers,” Klaus reasoned doing his absolute best to defend his sister. “But that doesn’t mean she was at the scene of the crime! I was with her the whole night!”

Dupin smirked. “I’m glad to hear you admit that,” he replied as he pulled out a small circle made of glass for the entire village to see. Klaus and Violet looked at one another confused. “And inside Count Olaf’s cell, I found this. This is one of the lenses in Klaus Baudelaire’s glasses,”

“No, no it’s not,” Klaus cried. “My glasses are perfectly intact and are not missing any lenses!” He turned to see that the villagers were now staring at him with the same suspicious and fearful glances. He growled at Dupin as he took off his glasses and showed them to the crowd. “I’ve made sure to take extra special care of my glasses after t his bastard made me fearful of all optometrists!”

Dupin smirked to himself when Klaus said this.

“Just because you have replaced your ribbon and your lenses,” Luciana noted. “Doesn’t mean you’re not murderers,”

“Shut the fuck up, Esme!” Violet hissed.

“This is all very shocking,” an Elder said.

“He’s lying!” Klaus yelled.

“So these pieces of evidence are not yours?” one Elder asked.

“Well...the ribbon and mechanical device are mine,” Violet admitted hoping that telling the truth would give her some benefit of the doubt.

“The blueprints are mine…” Klaus admitted sheepishly following suit. “But we are not murderers!”

“I’m not done showing my evidence yet,” Dupin explained.

“ There’s more!?” Violet cried throwing her fists to her side in disbelief.

“What can I say...I’m a great detective,”

“You’re a great manipulator and liar,” she hissed.

The children watched as the two white-faced women walked over to Dupin and Luciana handed each of them a bag labeled evidence. Violet felt sick to her stomach when she realized that in the bag that Dupin held was a bloody dagger and in Luciana’s hand was a bag holding a bloody crowbar.

“... you bastards!” She shrieked.

“See, the girl is mad that we have found their murder weapons,” Luciana claimed.

“Oh, that’s a fucking stretch!” Klaus cried.

“ You know exactly why I’m mad!” Violet yelled trying to rush towards Esme. Klaus grabbed her arm.

“Chill,” he whispered. “Don’t give them a reason to believe them.”

“Klaus, I’m pretty sure that ship has sailed,” she whispered back. “We’re fucked,”  Her voice was one he couldn’t recognize. He turned to her and could see that she wore a frown. Her eyes watering and her shoulders slumped. Klaus feared that she was giving up.

“As you villagers can see,” Dupin said holding out the bag for all of VFD to see. “Within these official evidence bags are the murder weapons.”

“Oh look, he’s finally telling the truth,” Klaus whispered to Violet, trying to get her to laugh. But she merely stared at Olaf. No longer glaring. No longer standing tall. The loss of her uncle was finally hitting her harshly.

The town gasped as they slowly moved away from the children.

“On Count Olaf’s body were several stab wounds as if his attackers had some sort of vendetta against him,” Dupin explained as Luciana held up her bag for the entire village to see. “There are only two people so uncool as to stab someone to death. The murderers who murdered Count Olaf by murder is none urder than Violet Snicket and Klaus Baudelaire!” Dupin explained pointing dramatically at the kids.

“This is utter bullshit, Olaf!” Klaus yelled as Violet continued to stare at the weapons that ended her uncle’s life.

Dupin glared nastily at Klaus. “You are making a big mistake when you call me Olaf,” he said, “and if you continue to call me that, you will see exactly how big of a mistake you are making,” he warned. “So why don’t you behave,”

Klaus closed his eyes and began to slightly shake. Violet glanced at her now scared brother and then at the villain who was smiling happily as he could see he still had some effect on her little brother.

“Fuck off, Olaf!” Violet yelled. “My brother and I didn’t stab anyone to death! You have no evidence to prove that that dagger and crowbar are ours!”

“Well, your mechanical device does have a pickaxe attached to it,” Luciana pointed out.

“Right you are, lady cop,” Dupin replied smirking. “If you had access to a pickaxe who is to say you didn't have access to a crowbar and dagger?”

“Detective Dumbass is lying!” Violet cried as the town began to stare at Klaus and Violet angrily.

Dupin shrugged his shoulders as he handed the two white-faced women the bags holding the murder weapons. “It’s not cool to accuse me of lying,” Dupin said with a snap of his fingers. He stepped closer towards Violet and Klaus. “Instead of dropping accusations on cool and handsome detectives, maybe you orphans should tend to your own accusational woes,” he smirked patting Klaus on the shoulder.

“They should start by giving everyone an alpaca,” Luciana commented.

“Yes,” Dupin replied. “Wait...what?”

“She means ‘alibi’,” Klaus explained rolling his eyes.

“Yes! Alibi! That’s what I meant to say,” Luciana corrected.

“Orphans!” the first Elder yelled. “Where were you last night between the hours of dusk and dawn?”

“We-we were...we were at Hector’s house,” Klaus replied nervously when he realized that everyone's eyes were on him.

“He’ll tell you himself,” Violet explained.

The two children glanced towards Hector with a pleading look in his eyes. He looked at them remorsefully as everyone looked towards the handyman. Even the three Elders. Hector opened his mouth to say something, but no word came. The two children waited for a moment in the tense silence, thinking that surely Hector would overcome his skittishness and anxiety in order to save them. But the handyman went quiet as he nearly passed out on the ground.

“ Please,” Violet cried.

“ Tell them you were with us,” Klaus begged.

Their eyes were wide with hope as sound finally came from the handyman’s mouth. “Well...I...Well… you...you see,” he stuttered. His eyes were rolling to the back of his head.

“Hector, please,” Violet begged.

“Hector, we’re waiting,” the second Elder yelled.

His breathing became heavy. “No...no...not again,” Klaus whimpered.

“Oh, no. Hector.” Violet cried.

“Hector,” Klaus pleaded.

Finally, the handyman took a deep breath. “It’s true! The children were with me. They’re not murderers,”

“See!” Klaus yelled triumphantly.

“Where did these items come from, Hector?” the first Elder asked. “Did you provide these children with illegal materials, in violation of VFD rules?”

Hector’s eyes widened.

“No, Hector didn’t do anything!” Violet yelled.

“Trying to pull an innocent cat into your bad vibes?” Dupin asked. “That’s low, man, real low,”

“You would know,” Klaus hissed.

The villagers began to murmur amongst themselves, looking pointedly at the two half-siblings.

Klaus’ eyes widened when he realized he may have found a way to ruin Olaf’s newest scheme once and for all. “What’s our motive?” he asked.

Dupin, Luciana, and Violet looked to him instantly. Dupin looked at him excitedly as if he had asked the best question. Luciana looked at him with a belittling expression while Violet looked at him like he was crazy.

“ What? ” Violet whispered incredulously. “What the fuck do you mean what’s our motive?”

“Why would we kill Count Olaf?” Klaus asked Dupin. Smirking towards the fake detective smiling as though he had played his trump card.

“Klaus...that’s the wrong question!” Violet hissed at her brother.

Klaus was so consumed by anger that he didn’t realize he just handed Olaf his and Violet’s heads on a silver platter. For even, I, the narrator could tell you several reasons why Violet Snicket and Klaus Baudelaire would murder Count Olaf. I can bet that even you,  the dedicated reader, must want this fucker dead especially by now and I hate to inform you in the rare chance that you don't want to kill him just yet your opinion will soon change. But either way, naive Klaus Baudelaire asked the worst possible question.

Detective Dupin offered his signature smirk at the two older orphans. “ I am so glad you asked my little four-eyed kitten,” he said to Klaus in such a way that sent waves of chills down the young man’s back.

He walked carefully and menacingly towards the two children as if slowly trying to decide on who to prey upon. He looked first to Klaus smirking but then his gaze slowly turned to Violet, who was glaring at him with a face full of hatred. He gave her a toothy grin as he had decided to have a little bit of fun with her.

He leaned in every so closely to Violet causing Klaus to grab her arm, his way of letting Olaf know that he wasn’t going to be able to take Violet from him. He chuckled when he saw this. “Well,” he began nonchalantly, leaning in extremely close to Violet. “Not only did he kill your uncle,” he whispered cruelly for only Violet and Klaus to hear. He grabbed tightly onto Violet’s other arm, pulling her closer to him so that her ear was directly in front of his putrid mouth. He gave one less chuckle as his smirk widened. Violet turned to him showing her face which in this brief moment looked terrified and confused. “ but he also...murdered your father.” he hissed into the fourteen-year-old’s ear sending paralyzing chills down her spine as he had just confirmed her darkest theory about her father’s death. He released his grip on her arm.

The second the words left Olaf’s mouth, Klaus gasped and turned to face Olaf, he was able to see the proud grin that was plastered and glued to the villain’s face. But Violet, on the other hand, stood their motionless as if she was having trouble registering what Olaf had just said to her in his most braggiest tone yet.

Olaf frowned, not getting the reaction that he wanted. He looked at Klaus and opened his mouth to say something that he hoped would rally the boy up seeing that the girl wasn’t responding to him at all. But as he opened his mouth to speak a loud, harsh, extremely feral shriek was heard.

“ I fucking knew it!” Violet screeched before pulling harshly away from Klaus’ grip, causing her younger brother to fall flat on his ass. Before anyone had a chance to react, Violet had jumped on to Detective Dupin and proceeded to throw punches as she began to ugly cry. “I am going to kill you, you mother fucking piece of shit! I’ll set your worthless ass on fire and show you how it feels!” she yelled as she continued to throw punch after punch allowing the intoxicating mix of her unbridled hatred, her blind rage, and her adrenaline rush gift her strength that even she didn’t know she had. All the while crying so hard that she couldn’t breathe and her face was turning bright red.

Klaus looked awkwardly at the crowd, who were murmuring to themselves about how the children must be murderers if the orphan girl was this unstable. But, he didn’t stop Violet, he couldn’t help but smile watching his fourteen-year-old sister kick Count Olaf’s ass. Violet continued to throw punches at Olaf causing the man to eventually start asking his girlfriend for help, unable to retaliate because he was too focused either trying to keep his disguise intact or guarding his face. Violet eventually stopped trying to punch him going right for his throat, prepared to simply murder him. Her mindset holding stubbornly into the idea of if she’s going to be sent to jail for a murder, she may as well actually commit one. As she was trying to reach for his throat to avenge her father and end this sick, twisted bastard once and for all, she was screaming and yelling threats and profanity as she cried.

Officer Luciana, who until now, was paralyzed by Violet’s lightning speed reaction noticed that Olaf was not gaining the upper hand against the young girl so she decided to intervene. She grabbed Violet harshly by the arm, pressing her long fingernails into the young girl’s skin causing her to yelp in pain and stop her brutal physical assault of the fake detective. Esme yanked Violet's arm, pulling her off the wicked count. Esme tossed her to the ground roughly causing the arm that Violet landed on to scrape on the dirt road of the village.

Klaus growled towards Esme as Violet rubbed her arm, her scrapes slightly bleeding but not as bad as Olaf’s nose and mouth. “ Don’t touch my sister, you fucking bitch!” Klaus yelled at Esme running to Violet’s aide. Both children watched as Detective Dupin stood up holding his bleeding nose and mouth. To the children’s dismay not only had Violet not succeeded in killing him but his disguise was perfectly intact except for the few splatters of blood that were now on his yellow shirt and purple blazer.

“That is not your sister,” Esme remarked in her Officer Luciana voice. “That is your highly unstable accomplice,” Esme smirked towards the two siblings. “The feral little kidnapped baby is your sister.”

“Violet is my sister, too, you dumb bitch!” Klaus yelled defensively pulling Violet to her feet. Violet shifted her backpack on her back slightly trying to see the damage to her arm.

“No, she’s not,” Esme replied bitterly, rolling her eyes. “All she was, is, and forever will be is your mother’s unwanted mistake . That’s why she was given to Lemony,” she explained in a cruel whisper that sent waves of sadness into Violet’s core. She began to laugh amongst herself when she realized just how much of an impact her words had on the young orphan. Violet fell to her butt crying, grasping her locket in the palms of her hands but not daring to open it.

Klaus took one look to his sister, who was bawling her eyes out. He could tell that she was trying to control her tears flow that she didn’t want to appear weak in front of Olaf or Esme. He could see that the rollercoaster of emotions that these two adults had sent her on was getting the best of her. Klaus turned to gaze at Olaf and Esme who were sharing a snarky smile as Esme pointed a cruel finger at the crying Violet, whispering something into Olaf’s ear. Klaus glared and rushed up to Esme, getting into the vicious woman’s face as Violet’s head shot up realizing that Klaus was putting himself in danger. “Say that again,” he hissed in the villainess’ face. “ I fucking dare you!”

Klaus didn’t care that he could hear more of the town’s murmurs calling both siblings extremely violent, highly unpredictable, and severely unstable. If he and Violet were any of these things it was because of the consistent abuse they received from Count Olaf and now, Esme Squalor. And the neglect they receive from any adult who was too incompetent to truly be effectual and help them. Because even as all of this was going down, Hector may have been able to speak up for them briefly but Klaus realized that he wasn’t going to push through the crowd to assist them. None of the villagers were.

Luciana laughed, pushing Klaus’ face away from hers. “I’m sorry that you can’t handle the fact that your precious mommy dearest was a fucking whore ,” she hissed tauntingly watching her words affect both Klaus and Violet.

She was too busy laughing at her insult to Beatrice that she didn’t notice Klaus’ face go from shock to sadness to pure unhinged anger in a matter of only a few seconds as he pounded his fist into Esme’s stomach knocking the breath out of her causing her to stumble backward. Detective Dupin angrily walked up to Klaus, yanking his arms behind his back roughly causing Klaus to yelp in pain. The more Klaus began to struggle, the more Olaf bent his arms back. Violet glanced up at Olaf grabbing at her brother.

She stood up quickly but didn’t move forward. “Hey! Let him go!”

“As you can see villagers,” Olaf explained addressing the crowd as he held a firm grip on Klaus’ arms, as Klaus continued to whine and yelp in pain pretending as though Violet hadn’t even spoken. “These children have shown that they both have vicious anger issues and homicidal tendencies. This , the fact that they had every motive in the book, and all of the undeniable evidence shows that..,”

“They’re...ow...circumstantial at best,” Klaus interjected.

“They are obviously the ones who murdered Count Olaf,” Dupin explained. “I mean this brat even punched an innocent woman. That’s low, real low!”

“No!” Violet cried defensively. “We’re not murderers!”

“That stupid bitch is far from innocent!” Klaus yelled.

“We’ve heard enough!” the first Elder shouted. “The evidence is crystal clear!”

“We’ve adopted murderers!” the second Elder cried in disbelief.

“The Village of Fowl Devotees can no longer serve as guardians to such terrible orphans!” the third Elder yelled angrily.

“We can send a message to Mr. Poe right away and the banker can have them removed in a few days.” one villager suggested

“Now that the trial is over!” Luciana yelled taking a step towards Violet. “I say we burn them at the stake!”

“Officer Luciana is right! A few days is too long to wait!” Mrs. Morrow yelled and several citizens cheered in agreement. Violet and Klaus looked at one another desperately. “These children need to be taken care of as quickly as possible!”

“W-wait a min-minute,” Hector called out breathlessly. As if ready to faint. “We-we-we’re talking about children!”

“I won’t wait a minute! We’re talking about murderers!” Mr. Lesko said. “I say we burn them...right now!” To Violet and Klaus’ horror, the crowd around them cheered.

“But we didn’t murder anyone!” Violet cried as Klaus began to struggle harder in Olaf’s grip. “This evidence is circumstantial at best!”

“It’s enough evidence for us!” a townsperson cried out in response. “Lesko is right! We already have the torches...let’s burn these brats!” the crowd cheered once more all turning to the Elders for guidance. All three Elders looked to one another deciding on the best course of action to take care of Miss Snicket and Mister Baudelaire. All the while, Klaus was still struggling to get out of Olaf’s grip when he noticed that Esme was walking slowly towards Violet.

“Let...me...go!” he cried yelping when Olaf pulled on his arms. “Leave Violet alone!”

Olaf pulled Klaus back towards him, gripping the boy’s chin firmly. He leaned in closer to Klaus’ ear. “ If I were you I’d stop struggling and behave...if you know what’s good for your baby sister,” He hissed sending chills down Klaus’ back.

As he began to shake in Olaf’s grasp, his fear replacing his anger and will to fight. He whimpered, “ Please. Don’t hurt Sunny.”

“That’s all up to you at this point,” Olaf replied back in a vicious snarl.

“Hold on a moment!” an Elder finally replied. “We can’t simply burn people at the stake whenever we want. We are civilized people!”

“How about after supper!” the second Elder suggested as the entire crowd began to cheer.

“So it’s settled then! We will burn these two murderers tonight after supper!” the third Elder explained. The crowd once again cheered.

“ NO!” Violet protested desperately. “ Please, someone listen to us!”

Detective Dupin released his grip on Klaus’ chin but kept his grip on the boy’s arms. Klaus struggled less due to fear of retaliation against his baby sister. “I’ll keep these bloodthirsties on ice at the uptown jail,” he explained.

“We’re not going anywhere with you!” Violet hissed. “Now let him go!” she screamed attempting to rush at Olaf for a second time that early morning.

“Resisting arrest, are you?” Dupin asked Violet with a smirk. “Oh Chiefie,” he called out as Esme grabbed Violet’s arm tightly.

“Now, we can do this the quiet way or it can get very, very noisy ,” she whispered to Violet swinging her baton in her free hand. “ It’s your choice, Snicket. ” Violet glared at Esme as the wicked woman pinned her arms behind her back which was a bit of a challenge seeing that Violet’s backpack got in the way. But Esme didn’t care, she knew this would only cause Violet more pain. The young girl tried her best to struggle in the woman’s grip.

“ Please! ” Violet cried out trying to pull away from Esme. “ We’re innocent! Hector, please!”

“Hector! Help us!” Klaus cried.

But Hector didn’t reply. He didn’t stand up for the kids any further. Leaving the kids with a bitter feeling towards him. Violet and Klaus looked at one another both seemingly terrified for what was to happen next.

Detective Dupin smirked as he addressed the crowd. “I’ll see you all at the burning!”

And for the final time, the crowd cheered and applauded Detective Dupin and Officer Luciana, who in their eyes had captured two vicious murderers instead of physically abusing to young innocent children.

“ Please!” Violet cried as the crowd began to disperse going their separate ways to go about their day. Many of them murmuring how excited they were to burn the two half-siblings after dinner. “ Someone please listen to me! The asswipe holding my brother is Count Olaf! This vain bitch holding me is Esme Squalor! They kidnapped our friends, the Quagmires and our baby sister, Sunny! And now they’ve murdered my uncle, Jacques Snicket and are framing us for a murder we did not commit!’ she yelled trying to get someone to believe her as Olaf and Esme began to harshly drag the children to a secluded area near the jailhouse.

As the town went about their day, Hector stood near the Fowl Fountain frowning. He felt truly sorry for the two children who he was supposed to be taking care of. He put his hand in his overall’s pocket and twirled the third couplet that he had found under Nevermore Tree this morning when he was doing some of his household chores. The children had left earlier than him and he hadn’t been able to tell them about it. But with all the commotion that had just followed, the crows that were peacefully perched upon the fountain had decided that Violet’s yells and the crowd's cheers were too loud for them that they relocated to the tops of the buildings surrounding the town square where the fountain was located. As Hector glanced down at the ground, he noticed a small white scroll similar to the one in his pocket. He picked up the fourth couplet glancing around to try to determine where it had come from. He put them in separate pockets so as to not mistake the order that he had received them. He planned on finding a way to give them to the two children that he had just let down.

______________________________________________________________

Sunny Baudelaire could hear the commotion inside the fountain as she desperately tried to rip off the muzzle that was around her mouth. Duncan and Isadora Quagmire were trying their best to create some kind of loud ruckus that could break through the sound of the rushing water. But their efforts were entirely fruitless. Their knuckles were turning red, raw, and bloody from punching the inside of the fountain as hard as they could, with each hit getting less and less hard. Even though, they could argue that the first few hits weren’t truly hard because the two older orphans barely had any strength or energy from being in Olaf’s ‘care’. Sunny was bawling so hard under the muzzle, she even tried to hit the inside of the fountain a few times. But each hit hurt her tiny toddler hands.

Duncan and Isadora turned to one another, both putting a comforting hand on Sunny’s head.

“I think I figured out what he meant by ‘hope you enjoy the show’,” Duncan muttered.

“Ya think,” Isadora replied. “That’s why he put the muzzle back on Sunny. Her loud toddler screeches would have echoed through this fucking fountain and the town might have been able to hear us.”

“He knew our voices were too weak,”

“We just have to hope Violet can break them out of jail,”

“But why would he burn them?” Duncan asked.

“He might not be planning to burn both of them...remember he only needs Violet...since he has Sunny,” Isadora said as Sunny began to wail harder. She frantically punched the inside of the fountain. The muzzle muffling her cries.

“Isa...wouldn’t the town realize Violet’s gone if he only burns Klaus…?” Duncan asked frightfully.

“He’ll probably…” she began, before her eyes widened with absolute fear. “Oh no,”

“What…?” her brother asked as Sunny continued to kick and punch the fountain walls knowing full well that her efforts were fruitless but she didn’t care. She was determined to save her siblings.

“He’s going to use one of us as a stand-in for Violet,” Isadora explained in a harsh whisper.

“Oh no,” Duncan whimpered. “You’re right. He only needs one of us,”

“Duncan…”

“Yeah, Isa…”

“We need to get the fuck out of here,”

“Violet’s going to break them out of jail ...and save us….” Isadora said although Duncan and Sunny could hear the doubt that was in her voice. “If anyone can do it...it’s Violet,”

____________________________________________________________

Both children winced in pain as the two villains dragged them. Klaus’ heart was pounding in his chest as Violet was cussing out Olaf and Esme as they walked.

When they were finally out of everyone’s sight, Olaf threw Klaus against a wall grabbing him by the neck. “If you ever hit my girlfriend…” Olaf began as Esme held tightly to Violet.

Violet struggled in the woman’s grip desperately wanting to help her brother.

“Darling, I can defend myself,” Esme commented grinning at Klaus. “Here...hold the ugly little girl,” she says reluctantly handing Violet to Olaf.

“Gladly,” Olaf muttered under his breath as he held on to Violet’s wrists. “Don’t have to ask me twice.”

“Don’t touch my fucking sister!” Klaus yelled trying to move from the wall but Esme pushed him back against it. Before he could move, she kneed him harshly in the groin and he fell to the ground yelping in pain. She then gave him a good kick in the stomach for good measure.

“ Stop!” Violet pleaded to Esme.

“This...is police brutality,” Klaus whined using his arms to shield his stomach as he groaned in pain.

“Oh, honey. You’re way too privileged to be claiming police brutality,” Esme commented laughing as she harshly pulled Klaus back up onto his feet.

“Well, then it’s child abuse!” Violet yelled angrily.

Olaf gave Violet a cruel laugh, all the while smirking at Klaus. “Oh...Klaus knows exactly what child abuse feels like...don’t you, Klaus?” the vicious man asked the young boy.

“Fuck off!” he cried as he began to shake, crossing his arms desperately over his chest, backing himself further towards the wall.

“Esme, do you see anything sharp around here?” Olaf asked menacingly looking around. “Maybe a broken umbrella…”

Esme looked towards her boyfriend confused. “No...why?” Even Violet looked to Olaf confused. The only person who understood Olaf was Klaus, who was shaking harder and retreating himself against the wall.

“Because it seems like Klaus here needs another lesson on how to behave,” Olaf hissed. The villain slowly smirked. “Actually...better yet, we’ll just punish little Sunny for her brother’s disobedience.”

“Oooh! Or his little boyfriend!” Esme suggested still not sure what was going on but never passed an opportunity to be a cruel bitch.

“Don’t you dare touch them!” Klaus hissed while shaking.

Olaf laughed cruelly as he looked down at Violet. He grinned towards her as he let go of her wrists but gripped her backpack. “Let go of my backpack!” she yelled struggling to get out of the man’s grip. Olaf growled as he began to roughly pull the backpack off of Violet’s back. She struggled her hardest to keep it on. The few items in her pockets shifting every which way. “ No! Stop! This isn’t yours!” she pleaded. “ My father gave me this backpack!”

“Of course, he did,” Olaf replied rolling his eyes. Finally, he successfully extracted the backpack from Violet.

“Give it back!” she whined.

“See, I can’t have you using your odd collection of knick-knacks to escape my clutches this time ,” he hissed throwing the backpack to the ground and grabbing onto Violet’s wrists again. Violet’s eyes widened and slowly formed a glare when she realized that Olaf must have figured out how she and Klaus got out of the elevator shaft. He sighed angrily, turning her around to face him and gripping her chin in spider-like hand. She shuddered under his touch. “It’s a real shame that that fire didn’t kill you as well. You’ve become more meddlesome than your father,”

“You motherfucker…” she began before he gripped her chin harder.

“Now that is no way to talk to your captor,” Olaf hissed smiling down at the terrified young girl. “But...even the most stubborn of puppies can be trained…” he snarled. “Once I figure out how much your worth maybe I’ll keep the baby around a little while longer. Use her as leverage to get you to be complacent seeing that you think she’s your baby sister.”

Violet merely glared at Olaf, frozen in fear as she was the day she had met him both at the movie theaters and at Prufrock. Violet could sense the actual danger that she was in. She looked towards her brother, who was shaking and slowly curling up into a tiny ball. Esme had focused more on her backpack then Klaus because Klaus wasn’t in the state of mind to fight back.

Violet could hear Esme unzipping her backpack, she tried to turn towards the woman but Olaf kept his grip on her chin. “That's private property you fucking bitch!”

“As chief of police, I have every right to inspect your belongings,” Esme said smiling as she unzipped the backpack glancing at the invention that sat at the top. Her smile slowly turned into a grin as she glanced towards Olaf. “ooooh, darling, this might excite you,” she commented. Olaf shifted his glance from Violet to Esme looking at her with a confused expression on his face.

“What are you talking…” he began as he watched Esme pull out Violet’s makeshift grappling hook. On one hand, he was confused as to how these two children had had the same idea because it looked slightly similar to the one that Klaus had fashioned in hopes of saving Sunny from his tower room so many months ago. As Olaf’s eyes began to shine brighter, Klaus turned to take notice of what Esme was referring to and the moment he did his eyes widened entirely as he backed himself towards the wall.

Olaf shifted his hand from Violet’s chin to her neck as he dragged her over to where Esme was. He pushed Violet into his girlfriend’s grasp as he took the grappling hook from Esme. He gave the cruelest smirk towards Violet. “ Maybe you Snickets are useful after all,” he hissed turning from Violet to Klaus.

Klaus falls to the ground using his arms to block his chest pleading with Olaf. “I’ll behave. I’ll behave. I’ll behave.” Klaus responded automatically as he shook. He closed his eyes, his breathing becoming heavy. “ Please. Don’t.”

Just like Dr. Georgina Orwell had back during Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire’s dismal and brutal stay in Paltryville, Esme looked at Olaf confused. “What did you do to him?” she asked in a tone that was more curious than caring about the welfare of a preteen boy.

“Oh, you know, punished him for misbehaving. His complete and utter disrespect towards me,” Olaf replied smirking. He took a step closer to Klaus. “Hey, Esme! Would you like a visual demonstration?” he asked in a tone that sent chills down everyone’s back including Esme’s.

Esme did her best to clap in excitement with Violet in her grip. “Oh boy, would I! I’d love to watch you torture Beatrice’s darling little baby boy! As long as you don’t kill him,”

He took yet another step closer to Klaus who began sobbing and pleading. “Oh, you’d be surprised what you can live through,” he commented cruelly smiling at the pleading boy.

“ Please...I’m sorry. I’ll behave. I’m sorry.” Klaus cried.

“Don’t fucking touch him!” Violet yelled struggling in Esme’s grip.

“Too late for that, my sweet. Isn’t that right, Klaus?”

Violet watched Olaf take another step towards her brother. She struggled as hard as she could in Esme’s grip. Stomping on the bitch’s feet. Jerking her arms this way and that, even if it caused her some harm, she didn’t care. She bit her lip and continued to struggle. She didn’t know what Olaf did to her brother, although she had a few theories regarding that but she’ll be damned if she allowed Olaf to harm him in front of her using one of her inventions. Finally, Violet twisted herself the farthest she could ignoring the pain that shot up in her arm and kneed Esme where the sun don’t shine. Esme let go of Violet out of instinct as Violet runs towards Olaf trying to yank the grappling hook out of his grasp. She pulled it hard enough to cause him to slightly lose balance as she positioned herself in front of him to kick him in his groin as hard as she could.

“ You little fucking bitch!” He yelled as he heaved over in pain. Violet stood defiantly in front of her brother acting as a human shield for the paralyzed and traumatized Klaus. She quickly reeled in her grappling hook and shoved it into her backpack, stubbornly placing her backpack back in its rightful place. During this time, Olaf grabbed her by the shoulders glaring at her with vicious eyes. “ I will make you pay for that! ” he hissed.

“If you want to hurt Klaus you’ll have to go through me,” she hissed back trying her best to sound intimidating but Olaf could sense the fear in her eyes. It wasn’t as much as Klaus but it was there. She couldn’t hide it.

“Honestly, darling. She is too troublesome. I say we let her and the baby burn and keep the bookworm. He’s truly the most fun,” she commented as she hoisted the shaking boy up to his feet.

He shuddered under her touch. “ Please don’t ...don’t let him…” He pleaded with Esme looking up at her, trying to find the humanity in her eyes since he knew damn well that there was none whatsoever within Olaf’s. He had learned that during his stay with Olaf. “ I’ll...I’ll behave…I promise.”

Violet’s heart broke seeing her brother like this.

“See, darling! He even said he’ll behave! This one is already trained.”

Olaf rolled his eyes. “We can train this one,” he argued. “Everyone has a weakness...we’ll just have to find hers,” he tightened his grip on Violet’s wrists. “Besides this one might be able to give us two fortunes.”

Esme huffed in annoyance. “But Beatrice didn’t care for that one,”

“You stupid bitch,” Violet spat.

“She cared about this one…” she noted. Her tone causing Klaus to shudder and Violet to feel sick to her stomach. Esme’s tone reminded her of Olaf’s tone when he spoke about her or Isadora.

Olaf rolled his eyes as he sighed. “We will discuss that later,” he told her. “Let’s put them in the cell. We can have our fun with them later where there’s surely going to be no witnesses,” he hissed.

Violet continued to struggle in Olaf’s grip as Esme dragged along a shaking, sobbing, panic attack having Klaus. The two villains dragged the two innocent children through the door of the uptown jail. The children stumbled into a dim, grim hallway, listening to the echoed laughter of their captors.

“I’m putting you in the Deluxe Cell,” he said to them. “It’s the dirtiest one and it comes with a noose.” Violet glared at him.

“You sick bastard,”

The two villains continued to march them towards the Deluxe Cell of the jail.

“You’ll be the one in jail before long, Olaf,” Violet hissed hoping she sounded much more confident than she felt. “You’ll never get away with this.”

“My name is Detective Dupin,” Olaf replied. “And my only concern is bringing you two criminals to justice,”

Once they reached the Deluxe Cell, Esme pulled the cell door open, pushing Klaus roughly into the jail. Olaf smirked as he released his grip on Violet’s wrists but once again gripped her backpack. Before she could protest, Esme helped Olaf take her backpack off her back. Esme held on to the fourteen-year old’s backpack as Olaf harshly shoved her into the jail cell after her brother. Violet tripped on her own two feet, the two villains laughed cruelly at Violet as Klaus glared at them and rushed towards them just as Esme slammed the door shut in his face. He reached out to grab the two villains as Olaf took the backpack from Esme placing in on his back.

“Can’t have little Miss Snicket using her knick-knacks to save herself,” he teased as they both waved menacingly at the two children. as they walked away cackling as loud as they could.

Violet and Klaus looked at one another in horror and disbelief.

“We’re fucked,” Klaus cried shaking at the jail door.

Violet didn’t turn to him, she merely nodded her head. “I hate to say it...but…” she gulped. “I think he’s finally won.”

[twdmusicboxmystery]

FTWD 5x13: Analysis

Everybody like last night’s episode? I liked it, but it turned out to be kind of a strange episode. I had a hard time figuring out how to read it. I think I did finally figure it out, but I also think it’s the type of episode that will make more sense in hindsight.

***As always, spoilers abound below for FTWD 5x13. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned! ***

Plot:

So, we start out with a flashback of Logan's. We find out he once tried to rescue someone and didn't make it in time. The woman he tried to rescue, Serena, was killed. Then he met the riders on horseback. They’re led by a woman named Virginia. (Given that TF is in Virginia/D.C., I'm having a hard time seeing that as a coincidence.) Virginia also has an accent that sounds a whole lot like Alpha’s.

Then we returned to present day. Al, Morgan, Grace, and Daniel are all out of range and were not in this episode. John and June are heading for the oil fields because they (correctly) suspect Logan has found them. Sarah and Dwight manage to ambush the man Dwight let go before and take his truck. They also head to the oil fields to head off Logan. Most of the episode takes place there.

Logan tries to take the oil, but things go wrong. The fire burns too hot and attracts walkers. Soon everyone is being overwhelmed by smoke and by walkers that dive into the quarry. 

Dwight’s group starts to leave, but Sarah decides to go back for Logan because she still has guilt over leaving Clayton behind. Basically, Logan has a Darth Vader moment where he turns to the good side.

The reason has to do with Strand and Alicia’s arc. They hear a woman calling for help in the exact same truck stop as the woman Logan failed to save. They run out of gas and can't get to her. 

Logan talks to her on the radio and tells her where there's a gun with a single bullet in it, suggesting that she killed herself rather than be eaten by the walkers. I thought for a minute this would be a seriously depressing episode because they’d all listen to to her kill herself. It's a very hopeless thing to have to listen to someone die because you couldn't save them. But in the end, Wes (from last episode) saved the day and came in to save this woman. 

It helped restore Logan's faith and he suddenly seemed like he was on TF’s side. Then Virginia and her group showed up and Logan and all his people were killed. R.I.P. Logan.

So, who's Virginia and her group? Not sure. They’re not openly identifying themselves with the helicopter people yet, but that doesn't mean it's not who they are. We did notice that the symbol for their group is a key. We saw it on a map Logan looked at, probably given to him by them. We also saw it on Virginia's lapel. 

That’s important because Key Theory. (Remember all the keys we saw at Grady? It could be to point to Beth eventually ending up with this key group.) But it also reminds us of Georgie from S8. Remember her? She showed up with a book called A Key to A Future and gave it to Maggie. (X) 

Maggie's been MIA for a while. Daryl and the rest of TF assume she's with Georgie, helping to build up communities. So not sure if there's a tie there or not.

Another thought we had is that Virginia and her group riding on horses with cowboy hats reminded us a lot of the highwaymen from TWD S9. Remember how we thought it was strange that they introduced them only to kill them all off a few episodes later? 

Well, Virginia claims that her group is expanding quickly and have people all over the place. In fact, the girl from the gas station said she was trying to get away from people that she didn't want to stay with anymore. Chances are it's Virginia's group. (Too much of a coincidence for them to be in the same episode and NOT have a connection, you k now?) So, if Virginia's group has a branch anywhere near D.C., it's possible the highwaymen came from her group. Maybe they left for the same reason gas station girl did: they no longer wanted to be with the group for moral reasons. No idea if that's the case, but it's a thought we had.

That's basically where we’re at right in Fear right now. Luciana stayed behind as part of the deal with Virginia's group to help them “cook” the gas. Everyone else left. It's obvious that Virginia's group is quite ruthless and not the kind of people our beloved characters want to stay with. Especially if they are the same as the helicopter group. And, to be honest, their attitude toward people and the world in general seems pretty in-line with the helicopter people, and chances are TF will have more interactions with them in the future.

Symbols:

The woman Logan tried to save, Serena, was at a truck stop at mile marker 65. When we saw Logan and later Alicia and Strand running to help, we saw some interesting mile markers. With Logan’s flashback, we first saw mile marker 50. 

Which might point to S5 in general. Series number 50 was 4x16. You know, the one where Rick put the hat on Beth and proclaimed her the “new sheriff.” Then we saw 58. 

Series number 58 was Crossed (a Beth episode) but 5x08 is Coda. Then we also saw mile marker 61. 

Series number 61 was Them. 

At one point, we also saw 55. (Series episode 55 = Slabtown.)

At the end of the episode, when they were trying to save the girl at the truck stop, they didn’t focus on these markers again. Only in the flashback where Logan failed. I’ll come back to why that’s important in a minute.

At the beginning, we saw Alicia paint a Phoenix on a tree. The word Phoenix was mentioned twice in this episode. Alicia asked Strand if it was too much Phoenix. At the end, Wes told her that he liked the phoenixes she was painting on the trees. Just wanted to mention that it was said TWICE. 😉

Virginia also keeps saying they've been watching the group for a long time. She said it to Logan and then again to the rest of the group at the quarry. So that could be in line with our long-time theory about someone watching TF, even in D.C.

When Logan and his group first get to the quarry, we have an interesting prisoner exchange. He says he’ll let the three kids go as long as Dwight and Sarah stay to help with the oil. So, he basically exchanges three prisoners for two. 

Remember, that was exactly what was supposed to happen at Grady. They were going to exchange three cops for Carol and Beth. Of course, Rick shot Evil Officer Bob and then they only had two for two. It led directly to Dawn forcing Noah to stay, which led to Beth being shot. I’ll come back to this too. It's important that they did the three vs. two exchange and it worked. Nobody died.

At one point, we see a four of spades card. Not entirely sure what to make of that. In terms of queens, I’ve always seen Michonne as the queen of spades. (X). They could be associating this with Michonne’s arc (in S4, perhaps?) or I even thought they may be associating Sarah with it. This card was in the room with her and Logan. Like Michonne, she’s a strong woman and the only one who never really lost hope in this episode. Not positive that’s what they’re going for. As I said, I’ll have to think on it more.

When Logan realizes the girl Alicia and Strand are trying to say is it the same mile marker as the one he failed, he says, "[This is] just a song I’ve sung before." Not only is that a singing reference, but it also shows this is a replay of sorts. Once again, I will come back to it. (Bear with me.)

I also noticed they keep mentioning the “promised land.” Logan said it last episode when they first drove up to the quarry. One of his people, Doris, said it again here. "You said this would be the ticket to the promised land." They believe taking the oil will somehow set them free/make their world better. I only noted it because it’s a biblical reference.

I’ll mention a few more general symbols. There were a lot of deer antlers on the wall of the truck stop, a poster of a little girl that was for sunscreen. A lot of green, especially in people's clothing. At the end, when the group drives off in the tanker, there are a lot of blue gas cans on the back of it. 

We also saw white rats. They weren’t actually paired with black ones this time, but I wondered if the white emphasis might be important. Remember in the black and white theory, Beth is white, so that could be important. The rats were being used to help create the gas. To power a simple machine to help make it, actually.

Big Picture:

@wdway and I both agreed this was kind of a strange episode. The more I watch it, the more I really like it, but it just felt different than most of the others. There weren’t as many symbols as we usually see (more action) and it wasn't easy to figure out where it fit in the grand scheme of things or what we were supposed to take away from it.

In order to figure it out, I did what I often do. People often ask me how I figure out the symbolism so easily. One thing I do is take a step back from the details and look at the very general events happening in any given scene or episode.

I wanted to compare this to two different things:

1) The girl who almost died in the gas station reminded me of the gas station Daryl and Bob found in 4A. (The “hell” gas station). In it, they found a family that had committed suicide. Daryl was very critical about them making that choice. But remember outside the gas station, in the ivy, were tons of walkers. Daryl’s group had to kill them in order to gain access to the gas station. So, it's very possible that the family didn't just give up on life, but rather were surrounded by walkers and killed themselves as a way to gain a quick death and avoid a torturous one.

Same situation here. Logan encouraged the woman at the gas station to do the same thing. To kill herself, rather than be eaten by walkers. The difference here was that Wes saved her and she didn't die in the gas station. She didn't commit suicide. Someone saved her and she lived.

2) The other thing I wanted to compare it to is the rock quarry from 6A, at the beginning of Operation Lead the Walkers Away (OLtWA). I wondered if there might be some correlation between that quarry and this one. But again, I had to step back and look at the general sequence the quarry was involved in.

In terms of TD symbolism, the biggest thing about the quarry sequence from S6 is that Glenn's death fake out was all tied up in it. We had a rock quarry full of walkers that led to Glenn being trapped under the dumpster and presumed dead for a time. He lived, of course, and it was his death fake out.

I'm not saying that were seeing anything in particular like that here, but I think we can still make some connections. For one thing OLtWA led to Daryl, Sasha, and Abraham's first interaction with the saviors. So it led to them meeting the new group of baddies. Same thing happened here. What happens at the quarry leads to them meeting Virginia's group and creating a deal with her in order to survive.

There’s also the fact that the first picture above of Logan running from his truck looks a LOT like Rick running along the road in 6a. I’m thinking we’ll be able to draw more parallels once we see what happens in subsequent episodes of Fear. Remember, OLtWA lasted for most of 6a.

But here’s my big take away from this. I think it’s an opposite symbolism kind of thing. I've always wondered why they used the gas station and the people who committed suicide in 4A. We definitely see Beth symbolism in that sequence. Most of it, we’ve interpreted to my satisfaction. But why gas specifically? What specifically did their role in the gas station point to?

Remember that right before he went in, Daryl tried to hot wire the van and we saw a red and green wires. Well, given that the opposite happened in this episode of Fear (the person in the gas station lived) I'm thinking that gas station was merely a foreshadow of the current arc. We saw the red/green combo, which suggests death and resurrection. But then we saw the people in the gas station who were not saved. One of them was even stabbed in the head with a key (Keys in this episode).

So I'm thinking that was a foreshadow the coming arc which lasted from 4x08 when the prison went down and didn't truly end until 9x05 when Rick disappeared was all about death. Beth “died,” and we only saw her death, not her resurrection. Glenn “died” in his fake out and then later for real. And we lost tons of other characters—Sasha, Abraham, Tyrese, Jesus, etc.—culminating in Rick's “death” in 9x05, or so everyone thinks.

Then, remember that in 9x06, the first episode after Rick disappeared, we started seeing birds and symbols of hope. In fact, we’ve seen a ridiculous amount of birds since 9x06, both in TWD and FTWD. Now there's talk of phoenixes and, in this episode, the girl in the gas station survived.

So, this is a really complicated explanation to say that the gas station in 4a represented that arc, which would only show us death. We are now in an arc that will show us life. The girl in the gas station was saved, the Grady-like prisoner exchange worked, no one in the group actually died this episode. 

In fact, I’m just thinking this now, but Luciana staying behind to help Virginia’s group could parallel Beth remaining at Grady. But again, it’s different because Luciana’s group doesn’t think she’s dead. They’ll probably try to come back for her, where TF did think Beth was dead, so there was no reason to go back for her.

Seeing the anti-parallels? I said I’d come back to the mile markers. We saw mile markers whose numbers point to episodes like Coda and Them. Those are key episode (see what I did there? 😉) in which TF and the audience were led to believe Beth had died. We saw those mile markers at the beginning of this episode, when Logan is trying to save Serena, but fails. He’s too late and she dies. (Eaten by walkers, no less, which is what we think TF thinks happened to Beth.) 

But we did NOT see those mile markers, pointing to those death episodes at the end, when they saved the woman at the gas station in this episode. Because the opposite outcome happened.

Logan's line about it being a song he'd sung before shows that it was meant to be a replay. A replay of what happened with our favorite song bird, only this time things will be different.

So, where do we go from here? I'm not sure. In a lot of ways this was sort of a bridge episode. It ended Logan's arc, which is a little surprising because I would've assumed that his arc would run all the way through to the end of the season. Obviously not. In fact, it reminds me of 4a as well because we saw the virus arc at the prison end in 4x05. That was because 4x06 and 4x07 were about the Gov. Then everything came to a head in 4x08.

So, I’m curious to find out what the final three episodes of the season have in store for us. I don't have a whole lot more insight into this episode except to say that it's interesting, it left more questions than answers, and I think we’ll glean more from it once we see where the story is going. Anyone see anything I missed?

[dailyfeartwdgifs]

Fear The Walking Dead Season 5, Episode 1 Review: Crash And Burn 

I'm having a really hard time mustering up any sort of enthusiasm for Fear The Walking Dead, and the opening episode of Season 5 isn't helping. 

It's not that last night's episode was terrible. It even had a few good moments, and an interesting twist with the mysterious armored zombies and the documents Al found, all pointing to the same group that whisked away Rick Grimes in The Walking Dead's most recent season. 

Likewise, when Strand (Colman Domingo) discovers that the guy Al (Maggie Grace) knows who has a plane is Daniel (Ruben Blades) and looks so distressed, I had a good chuckle. Strand and Salazar are not on the best of terms. 

I even liked the ragtag group of kids that the survivors run into, as well as the new sort-of-bad-guy Logan played by Honey I Shrunk The Kids alum Matt Frewer. I don't think I've seen Frewer in anything since that 1989 film, but I recognized him instantly. I say "sort-of-bad-guy" because the dude has a point. Just because Morgan and his group moved into the Mill doesn't make it theirs necessarily. If he owned it before the apocalypse, I see no reason why he shouldn't own it now. He got them out of there without firing a shot, also, which is pretty nice for a villain, especially compared to basically every other villain in either Walking Dead show. 

But other than that, and some cool Alicia (Alycia Debnam-Carey) zombie killing moments, the episode just fell enormously flat for me. I think part of it is the premise now that the show has adopted Morgan (Lennie James) and his do-gooder philosophy. I guess now our heroes are literally heroes, out trying to help people no matter the risk. 

Crash Landing 

I mean, they somehow managed to get a plane which none of them knew how to fly, and then flew somewhere in order to help Logan (who was tricking them) with no real gameplan. I'm not sure how they were going to fit everyone in such a small plane after this theoretical rescue, but considering that they didn't even know how to land the thing and could have all died in the process, this just strikes me as enormously stupid. 

Almost as stupid as not drinking the damn ethanol when the tanker got shot up last season. My goodness, it's like watching a show about the stupidest people alive somehow managing to survive a zombie apocalypse. It's painful to behold. It would be funny if that was the actual premise (seriously, I'd watch the Idiocracy version of The Walking Dead) but alas, these are supposed to be tough, smart survivors. Not the imbeciles they've been written as. 

In any case, they crash land and Luciana (Danay Garcia) is impaled in the crash. Nobody else is severely injured. This would have been a good time to kill of Luciana who hasn't been an interesting or useful character since she became Nick's girlfriend shortly after being introduced as a badass leader, but no. Rather than mercy kill her, the character assassination will continue apace. 

Also, while I'm happy to see Daniel return (he's by far the most interesting character other than Alicia at this point) I'm not sure why Blades would want to return to this sinking ship. Maybe (hopefully) the season improves after this episode, but I'm not getting my hopes up. The fact that Al has also interviewed him is just too convenient, too much of a coincidence, on top of her having also interviewed Madison before meeting up with Morgan and John Dorie (Garret Dillahunt). Al just knows everybody, I guess. And everybody just magically shows up in the same vicinity as one another for some reason. 

Speaking of John Dorie, I really do like his character but they're just not using him for anything interesting at this point. I'm also having a hard time buying his and June's relationship. June (Jenna Elfman) is another character I just have no feelings for whatsoever. Why did they make her a nurse when she's basically a doctor? Nurses don't operate on people. They don't perform major life-saving operations like this at trauma centers or anywhere else. I could believe that she'd make an attempt in a pinch like this, but the whole notion that she's some seasoned surgeon at this point is just silly. Just make her a doctor in the first place if this is how you're going to use her character. 

I don't know exactly what it is that rubs me so wrong about June, but I guess maybe it's both Elfman's performance to some degree, as well as her character arc and how she's been written. The whole "nobody can help me" character always running away suddenly transforming into another of Morgan's Avengers just didn't land for me. And I'm not really feeling much chemistry between her and Dorie, though that may be a symptom of the writing. 

Stupid Is As Stupid Does 

In any case, Al is knocked out and captured by one of the mysteriously armored people because I guess she thought it was a good idea to go back to the crash site in the dark and rain by herself to investigate for some reason. Like everyone else on this show, and for reasons known only to the writers and producers, Al is a total idiot. 

Meanwhile, Logan pulls a fast one on Morgan by tricking them into going to a distant truck stop (we still don't know where, but I guess it was far enough that they had to fly in a plane they found somewhere but didn't know how to actually pilot, oh my god who writes this stuff???) and then peacefully taking back what was his to begin with. He even dumped a bunch of their stuff outside the fence in the process. In yet another scene of abject stupidity, when Strand and his new trucker pals, Sarah (Mo Collins) and Wendell (Daryl Mitchell) show up and see other people have occupied their base, they all get out of the truck and point guns at them, just standing there right out in the open, outnumbered, making themselves the easiest targets imaginable. If Logan had been a more ruthless foe, he would have had them all shot right then and there and wouldn't have faced a single loss. 

Who does this? Nobody, that's who. Nobody would just walk out there like that, knowing they could be easily shot and killed, with no semblance of strategy and apparently no lines of dialogue either. Also, they'd need to actually help Wendell get out of the truck and into his wheelchair, so now I'm just picturing how ungainly and awkward that must be when you're trying to have a proper standoff. Like, sorry yguys can you just not shoot at us while we get our friend out of the truck and into his wheelchair? 

Ugh. What a letdown. This show has really tanked since the new showrunners took over and since virtually the entire main cast was killed off and replaced. I was never the biggest fan of Madison, but she grew on me in Season 3 and it really was a show about her and her kids, and now Nick is dead and Madison is dead and it's like we're watching an entirely different show now. Why not just make a new show instead of cramming this new cast together? It's all so jarring. Morgan makes no sense on this show. I can't stand him and I can't believe they've actually made this show into a "let's help people" story. It was so much more interesting when Madison was playing both sides of the Otto/Native American conflict, or when we had characters like Troy around keeping us on our toes. 

It's gone from a zombie show about morally grey characters to one led Morgan Jones for goodness sakes. Morgan is a fine character, as a secondary character, as Rick's mentally disturbed friend, as a moral compass for the main group. He's not a leader or a lead. 

It's a crying shame that it's come to this. I am not particularly hopeful for this season, though they've surprised us before. Last season I actually really enjoyed the first few episodes before it went over the cliff, jumped the shark, killed off the best characters and introduced the lamest villain any zombie show has ever seen. So maybe the opposite will happen here, and the writing will improve and our heroes will stop acting so stupid all the time and we'll get a decent conflict.

Yeah, I don't think so, either, but it never hurts to have a little hope. Rebellions are built on hope.