#It’s occurred to me that I’m stupid

[dykespirk]

I DIDNT EVEN PUT IT TOGETHER THAT LITTLE CUT SCENE IS SUPPOSED TO BE CHAPEL AND SPOCK HAVING SEXUAL RELATIONS??? I THOUGHT MAYBE THEY WERE HAVING A SLEEPOVER

[elizakai]

gahdamn being in a fandom for close to ten years makes a bitch forget vital canon information

[applesandbannas747]

If the exciting announcement is a new novel imma have to dip

[distantsolarsystemsandsnails]

time to hope i see the hot person at the library again tomorrow. or maybe hope i don’t because apparently i do stupid shit when i’m around them.

[starbuck]

okay, after an impromptu mirror fashion show to decide what i’m wearing tomorrow, the winning outfit includes: brown pants, black coat, and a scarf with navy blue in it…

i feel like this should be illegal

[dreaminginholo]

anyone that seriously calls themself “conscious” and makes a whole blog about it please stay as far away from me as possible

[vinnyandthephenomena]

so things just keep happening huh

[cleocatrablossy]

I will never not be nit picky about where Redwoods grow like it is Such a stupid thing to get upset over but they’re coastal spanning from central California to just over state lines in Oregon. While they could be planted and grown outside of range, when you move inland or north into Oregon you’ll be getting a lot of firs! Maples and birches alders and pines as well!! And a whole lot of other trees too!! But not redwoods.

[fan-de-las-tetas]

damm someone got wild w/ the tags, girl put a whole ass fanfic there

just saw a steddie soulmate au that reminded me of an old trope of having every lie your soulmate ever told written somewhere on your body and I can't stop thinking about Eddie with "I'm fine," scrawled all over

[kingdomvel]

Steddie | 3.4k | ao3

five times people don't believe Steve and Eddie are dating + one time they have to

Made the silly post, decided to actually write it

1.

Eddie stops his van in front of Dustin’s house. His was the last stop of the drop off after the dnd session at Gareth’s house. Dustin turns towards Eddie. He is drumming his fingers on the wheel to the beat of the DIO song playing, never still. When Dustin doesn’t move, he turns to look at him with his eyebrows raised.

“Anything wrong, Henderson?”

He is looking at him with his big eyes and Dustin gulps. Even after everything they have been through, Dustin can’t help but feel nervous. There is still this feeling that tells him he has to try to impress Eddie, to be cool enough to be his friend.

“Will you teach me how to play guitar?” Dustin blurts before he chickens out.

Eddie looks at him with surprise, blinking a few times. He was clearly not expecting that question.

“Sure.”

“Wait- really?” Dustin is genuinely surprised. A part of him knew that Eddie wouldn’t say no, but he fully expected some teasing, some ‘what, Henderson, you wanna be like me?’ which. Yes. But he didn’t want Eddie to say it.

“Yeah dude, why not?”

Dustin lets out a delighted laugh and slaps the dashboard. “Yes! Thank you! When are we starting? Any time is good for me-“

“Calm down,” Eddie says with a chuckle.

“What about tomorrow? I can do tomorrow. I will bike to your house after school and you can teach me the basics or-“

“Calm down Henderson,” Eddie repeats louder. Dustin shuts up. “I can’t do tomorrow.”

Dustin’s heart breaks a little. “Why?”

“Because this humble bard has a date with Steve Harrington.” He has a stupid smile on his face when he says it.

There are a couple of seconds of silence and Dustin knows that he is pulling a face.

“Dude, don’t say it like that.”

“Like what?” Eddie looks baffled, almost offended, but there is a shiver going down Dustin’s spine.

“Like that! A date? Just say you are hanging out like a normal person.”

He is used to Eddie’s way of saying things, rarely in a normal way, but that was weird. Don’t get him wrong, he is very happy that Steve and Eddie have stopped acting like idiots every time Dustin mentioned the other and that they are hanging out now. But it’s still strange, seeing them actually getting along so well.

“If I’m going to have the King all to myself I am calling it a date.”

“STOOOP! It’s weird.”

“What is it Henderson?” Eddie says in a teasing tone as he leans towards Dustin. “Jealous that me and Steve are giving each other a bit of love?”

“Stop saying it like that!” Dustin screams. This would be so much weirder if Dustin didn’t know he is just teasing him. Maybe it was better when they were not friends.

The front door to his house opens, and Dustin scrambles to get out of the van before his mother can come and embarrass him more. The last thing he hears is Eddie’s crackling laugh.

2.

“Okay, what is happening?” Robin asks as soon as the door closes after the girl that had just rented Back to the Future.

“Something’s happening?” Steve sends a brief look around with a confused frown on his face before he looks at Robin.

“That girl.” Robin gestures to the door for emphasis.

Steve snorts, “yeah. Back to the Future? That’s funny.” He says as he crosses his arms in front of himself.

“That is not what this is about.”

“It’s not?”

“No! She was a babe!”

“Was she?” Steve looks at the door again, like he had not even seen the girl, like it had not even occurred to him to look at the girl. Robin could kill him.

“Yes! She was!”

“Did you want me to set you up with her? Because I will, you know that. Maybe we can have a code for that, you say- I don’t know- ‘have you watched Fast Times?’ and I will put my best wingman skills to use. I will get you a date in no time.”

Steve is the best friend Robin could ask for. He is also incredibly dumb and she is going to strangle him.

“I didn’t want you to set me up with her.”

“What’s the problem then?”

“The problem is that you are Steve Harrington and you didn’t even try to flirt with her! You should have been all over her, trying to get a date or her number. You haven’t been on a date in weeks! And it’s not even that you are striking out like in scoops, you are not even trying Steve. What is wrong with you?”

“What do you mean I haven’t been on a date in weeks, I was with Eddie just yesterday, I told you.” He has this confused frown on his face, like he seriously doesn’t understand where Robin is coming from.

“Steve, hanging out with Eddie doesn’t count as a date. Also, ew, don’t put that image in my head, I know he is our friend now or whatever and that you like hanging out with him but I would hope for you to have better taste than that.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that Eddie? Seriously? Did you see the stains on his mattress?”

Steve pulls a face, like had not thought about it before. “We’ll buy a new mattress.”

Robin looks at him, trying her best to communicate how gross she finds Eddie with her mind. Steve looks back at her with his eyebrows raised, daring her to say something else about Eddie.

The bell at the door interrupts them. It’s not a babe this time, just a normal guy, returning a tape. They act like the professionals they are until he is out of the door again.

“Aren’t you going to ask me why I didn’t flirt with him?” Steve asks, his hand gesturing to the door in that annoying way of his.

“No,” Robin says, but Steve doesn’t really wait for her answer before he continues talking.

“I didn’t because I am dating Eddie!”

“No you are not,” Robin answers with a snort.

“Yes I am.” Steve looks completely betrayed. “I am with him almost every day.”

“Oh, I know what is happening.” It’s so clear, so easy to understand now that Steve has said that. She puts her hands on Steve’s shoulders. He looks at her with a frown, a tilt of his head as he uncrosses his arms in confusion. “Steve.” She tries to convey as much seriousness as she can, just so Steve understands what is happening too. “Just because you have realised you like boys and he is gay and you two are hanging out, it doesn’t mean you two are dating.”

“Oh fu-“ he tries to move away from her but she clutches his shoulders tightly.

“You have to learn how to have friends your age, Steve. Remember when you though you liked me? I got away because I don’t like boys, and Eddie does! But that doesn’t mean he is into you!”

Steve rolls her eyes at her. The audacity. He bats her arms away with more easiness than Robin would like to admit. “Whatever.” He just says.

3.

“Steve”

“Mike” Steve answers in the same serious tone. If not a bit confused. Mike had followed him inside when he had come to get some drinks. He can still hear the others in the pool outside.

“I saw you speaking with Nancy.” Mike states. They had been speaking, close, too close. “And Dustin told me you were making eyes at her during the Vecna thing.”

“What?” Steve whispers as he shakes his head while he takes the drinks out of the fridge.

“Anything to say to defend yourself?” Mike asks him. He crosses his arms, tries to put on a serious pose. Intimidating, as much as he can.

“Listen,” Steve starts, he turns towards Mike him and leans back on the counter. He crosses his arms, and it makes Mike shift, conscious of his own crossed arms. He doesn’t like his tone, as if he is talking to a kid. “I know you are still pissy about me dating your sister, for some reason,” he uncrosses one of his arms to say it. “But she is with Jonathan now and I am totally over her.” Mike just squints at him. He doesn’t believe him. Everyone knows that Steve is not over Nancy. “Totally! I mean it. I’m dating Eddie now.” He says it like it’s a question.

Mike snorts. That is the stupidest lie Steve could have come up with to try to get out of this. “As if.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Eddie is too cool to date you.”

“He is too- I’ve saved your life,” he points to Mike.

“Eddie is still cooler.”

Steve takes a deep breath and Mike doesn’t really want to hear what Steve is going to say to defend himself. Thankfully he doesn’t say anything, his mouth closing as his eyes drift someplace behind Mike.

“I was promised beer,” Eddie’s voice comes from behind Mike.

“You’d have it if Mike here hadn’t decided to give me shit,” Steve answers as he moves to open a can of beer and hands it to Eddie when he gets to him.

“Just-“ Mike huffs. “Don’t get any ideas with my sister.” He says it as he points to Steve while he walks back outside.

Mike doesn’t stay to see Steve’s reaction, but he hears Eddie say “anything I should be worried about?” before the noise of the others drowns everything else.

4.

Max and Eleven giggle as the stand outside of the window to Eddie’s room. He is inside, they can see the lump inside the sheets and the mess of curls on the pillow. They look at each other and nod with a grin before they start banging on the window and shouting his name.

Eddie starts on the bed, Max could swear he lifts a few centimetres from the bed she can hear him scream ‘jesus christ’ through the window before he turns towards them with a squint. He sits up on the bed and reaches across to open the window, he is not wearing a shirt, so they have a full view of all his tattoos. It’s not like Max ever wants to see them so close, but she knows El likes them.

“What the FUCK Mayfield,” he asks, but it doesn’t sound like a question. Then, after a second of him squinting and them more. “Mini Hopper.”

Max doesn’t answer, because behind Eddie another lump is raising from the bed and looking at them with a squint. “Max? Is anything wrong?” Steve asks as he rubs his face and hair with the hand that is not currently propping him up.

“I…” Max starts, but she doesn’t continue. Sure, she had seen Steve shirtless at the boat that one time when they were going after Vecna, but it was nighttime and she had to look through some shitty binoculars.

Eddie reaches a hand back to try to push Steve back down, but it doesn’t really work. He just pushes his face, and Steve lets himself be pushed, just for a bit, before he is straightening again.

“Hey, hey,” Eddie says as he snaps his fingers in front of Max. It works on bringing her attention back to him. “Anything wrong?”

Max shakes her head.

“Are you having a sleepover? I also sleep with Max when we have a sleepover,” El asks.

Eddie looks between them for a couple of seconds before he says, “sure we are.”

It just sounds like he just wants to get rid of them.

“You boys are gross, can’t you put a shirt on?” Max asks. Billy was always walking around shirtless too.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Eddie just replies.

“Did anything happen?” Steve insists.

“We had a sleepover,” El says.

“Yeah, gathered that,” Eddie deadpans.

“We came so you will take us out for pancakes.”

Eddie groans as he lets himself fall back on the bed and looks up at Steve.

“I totally blame you for this being my life now, just so you know.”

Steve just laughs and pushes his face to the side. Max pulls a face, their friendship must be one of the weirdest things that has come out of the whole Vecna thing. Steve turns towards them with a stupid smile on his face.

“Go get your things, we will be out in ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes?!” Eddie protests, but Max and El don’t pay attention to him, already celebrating and running back to Max’s.

The last thing she sees is Steve leaning down towards Eddie with a hand on his face out of the corner of her eye, but she doesn’t really put much thought to it.

5.

Lucas loves having Steve to play with. After all the Vecna stuff, he didn’t really want to hang out with the guys from basketball all that much, so Steve had stepped up. He had bought a hoop for his big driveway for them to practise and everything.

The day is hot, and they have been going at it for hours, so they are both sweaty and tired. They are at Steve’s driveway. It’s just them, sweaty under the sun, and Eddie sitting on a folding chair on the side, for some reason. He was already here when Lucas had arrived, and he had refused to leave. He is on the shade, reading a book, looking way more comfortable than them.

“Pause for drinks?” Steve asks, and Lucas is very happy to agree with him. “Hey!” he yells towards Eddie, he jumps as he looks up. “Don’t think I don’t see you looking at me like a creep. You should be getting us drinks.”

“Sorry sweetheart.” Eddie shouts back as he waves his book.

“Drinks, now.” Steve says with a jerk of his head towards the house.

Eddie drops the book in his haste to stand up and follow Steve inside. They are weird, they act so weird all the time. They should get girlfriends, that way they would maybe stop being weird with each other.

“You want anything, Lucas?” Steve asks as he walks away.

“Just a soda!” Lucas calls out after them.

Steve gives him a thumbs up as he goes through the door.

It’s ten minutes later that Lucas starts to wonder what’s taking them so long. He got tired of practising shoots, and also of sitting down on the grass waiting for them.

The house is blessedly chilly and dark when he comes in.

“Steve?” he calls out.

He walks towards the kitchen. There is sound coming from it, shuffling. When he gets close enough to the kitchen he hears Eddie speak quietly.

“Were you afraid your neighbours might see, big boy?”

“Shut up,” Steve answers. Then there are some wet sounds and when Lucas comes into the kitchen Steve is all over Eddie and-

“DUDE!” Lucas screams. Steve jumps away from Eddie. “What are you doing? What if Robin had seen you?”

Steve looks around. “What?”

“Dustin said you like Robin, what if she was here and she saw you…” he can’t even describe what they were doing, he just knows that if some girl saw that, she would never consider dating Steve.

“I don’t want to date Robin, why does everyone think I want to date Robin?” Steve says.

Lucas doesn’t answer. He just looks at Steve. If it’s not Robin, it’s Nancy, for sure. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell her, or anyone.”

Eddie laughs like a maniac, Lucas just squints at him and goes to grab his soda.

+1

Robin is not sure how they have ended up here. At the Hideout. On a Tuesday. With all the kids and Eddie’s band helping them get ready before even the freaking owner has arrived. She doesn’t know what about Eddie he thought was reliable enough to give him the keys to the bar, but she guesses it’s ‘I don’t want to go work early because some teenagers want to set up their instruments to play their shitty music’. It works for them though, because the kids had been saying how much they wanted to see them play, but they are not allowed to come into the bar when it’s open, so they have come extra early so they can listen to a couple of songs before people start arriving.

“Hey lovebirds!” A voice shouts. It’s one of Eddie’s bandmates. Gareth, Robin thinks he is called. “Stop being disgusting and come here so we can start?”

Robin turns to look for who he could be calling out for. Nancy and Jonathan have not come today, and everyone is in the stage area, everyone except…

“Did you just call Steve and Eddie lovebirds?”

“Yeah, since they started dating they’ve been unbearable.”

“DATING?” Dustin shrieks beside them.

“Shit, sorry, was that supposed to be a secret?” Gareth asks, and he sounds genuinely scared. Robin would normally appreciate it but-

“Oh, you think they are actually dating?” Dustin asks, but it doesn’t sound like a question, more like a realisation.

“Aren’t they?” Jeff asks.

“No, no, it’s just Eddie saying weird things.” Dustin dismisses, but Robin is frozen in place, the cogs in her mind turning.

“You are not dating?” Gareth asks to the side and yep, there Eddie and Steve are, now close to them. Eddie has his arm around Steve’s shoulder and they are leaning against each other.

Shit.

“We are,” Steve says easily. “They just don’t believe us.” Eddie bumps his head against Steve’s and he moves his head slightly away with an annoyed look that looks more fond than anything else.

Robin and Dustin are gaping at them and, from the sudden quiet around them she guesses the rest are too.

“Wait you two are actually dating?!” Lucas voice comes from behind them. “But Dustin said you weren’t going out with anyone because you liked Robin?”

That shakes Robin out of it, if only to turn around and say, “Ew, no.” Doesn’t matter who he is talking to.

“And I told Mike and Robin I was dating Eddie,” Steve says. “And you saw us kissing.”

“Yeah but- I don’t know.”

Eddie’s bandmates are now dying of laughter, Robin can’t even blame them.

“How was I supposed to believe you were telling the truth!” Robin exclaims. That provokes more laughs.

“Wait,” Max intervenes. “So that day you were sleeping together without a shirt…” She trails off, but they all see in her face what she just realised. “Gross!”

“Oh shut up Mayfield,” Eddie says. “I saw you looking at my boyfriend’s tits.”

That shuts Max up.

“You really are dating Steve?” Mike asks.

“Yes, and no stupid comments or your character is dead Wheeler.” Eddie states, pointing to Mike with the arm that is not around Steve.

And that shuts Mike up with a huff and a shake of his head.

“So you two are boyfriends?” El asks. “I think that’s cute.”

“Thanks El,” Steve says.

“I can’t believe you got with a boy before I got with a girl!” Robin exclaims. “And I didn’t know!”

“You would have known if you had believed me!” Steve exclaims back.

“Well sorry for thinking about your dating record and drawing conclusions.”

“Okay, okay,” Gareth interrupts them. “As funny as this is, we need to start now if we want to play anything before the owner arrives.”

“Let’s get this party going,” Eddie exclaims. He moves away from Steve to grab his guitar, and then goes back to Steve and kisses him on the lips. Actually kisses him on the lips in front of everyone, and Steve doesn’t really react except from a smile because why would he? They have been boyfriends for weeks apparently. “Be back in a minute sweetheart.”

Robin fake gags.

Steve moves to stand next to Robin. He has this shit eating grin on his face that Robin can’t stand.

“Shut up,” she says.

Eddie is on the stage now, looking at them with a stupid smile on his face. She should have known they were dating.

“Told you so,” Steve just says.

[mixed-messages]

Chip and Dip

Lando Norris x snowboarder!reader

Author’s Note: In honor of where I live getting around 11 inches (28 cm) of snow over two days, here’s a little social media au about an Olympic snowboarder, who also happens to be sponsored by Monster Energy. Just like Lando. None of these IG stories are real. I made them with my need for detail

I haven’t done an smau in so long, so please bear with me and the fact it doesn’t really have a plot

General Notes: no use of yn, a nickname is used instead. no faceclaim, but there’s some skin showing in a few images! swearing, she/her pronouns used, yc is your country but you can pretend it’s just a snowboarding team or smth!

Liked by mclaren, lando, chipnflip, and 567,832 others

monsterenergy Two of our favorite snowboarders will be heading out with a few other Monster Energy athletes for a snowy getaway. Stay tuned for clips, tricks, and videos

Tagged: chloekim, chipnflip

user02 stfuuuuuuu omg omg who are the other athletes???

user78 CHIP AND CHLOE MY FAVE DUO 👹

user34 wait can someone please explain why she goes by chip???

↳ chipfan omg it’s so stupid (affectionately). years ago she was a guest on a youtube channel (forget which one) and she tried to do a trick and fucking ATE it (not the good ate) and chipped her front tooth. everyone just calls her chip now

↳ user04 it was that one trickshot channel

chipnflip let’s get ittttt 🏂 Liked by author

chloekim So excited! We’ll have to teach these skiers how to snowboard 🥱 Liked by author

user18 I SEE MCLAREN LIKED. PLSSSSS TELL ME LANDOSCAR WILL BE THERE

↳ monsterenergy we can neither confirm nor deny 👀

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Liked by mclaren, chipnflip, oscarpiastri, and 1.3m others

lando the boys on the slopes

Tagged: oscarpiastri, patriciooward, nolansiegel, monsterenergy

user167 PATO IS THERE TOO? IM GONNA COMBUST

user16 is it just mclaren and the two snowboarders?? 🏃🏻‍♀️

↳ monsterenergy We can assure you there are more than just the five of them! There are ten in total!

user74 Not them becoming a clique 😭

user55 have they taught you guys snowboarding yet???

↳ chipnflip I fear we haven’t been able to teach them yet! We wanted to get to know each other first! Hopefully tomorrow 🤞

↳ lando @.chipnflip If it’s like anything today, I’m worried I’m gonna become scared of the snow

↳ user67 LANDO WHAT HAPPENED TODAY?

↳ lando @.user67 snowballs to the face 😔💔

user178 so you’re telling me 10 athletes had a snowball fight and no one posted about it???

↳ chipnflip I gotchu!

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Liked by nolansiegel, patriciooward, lando, and 678,438 others

chipnflip The snowball fight that occurred between 10 professional athletes last night. To our managers, no one got injured 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Tagged: lando, chloekim, patriciooward, and 6 others

lando Speak for yourself 👎🏻👎🏻

↳ chipnflip dude, be so for real, it wasn’t even packing snow. it was as light as a feather

↳ lando MATE YOU LIFT

user137 LANDO GETTING HIT IN THE FACE JQICNDOW BYEEE

oscarpiastri As Lando’s teammate, I must say, I do believe there was a small piece of ice in one of the snowballs

↳ chipnflip Ope— uhhh I was unaware of that one

ycnowboarding We’d like to formally apologize to McLaren for any harm our athlete may have caused to your very expensive driver

↳ mclaren we accept the apology. Liked by author

↳ lando says WHO?

user33 not her bullying Lando 2 days after they met 😭😭

↳ user77 and him clapping back 🏃🏼‍♀️

user88 OFFICIAL YC SNOWBOARDING ACCOUNT APOLOGIZING IS SENDING ME

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12,458 likes

f1gossipupdates Some of Chip’s recent IG stories! There are lots of theories after Monster Energy uploaded a video of the winter getaway/vacation. While other athletes were being interviewed and Chip or Lando could be seen in the background, the other was always close behind. Leading some fans to suggest that there might be something going on between the two of them.

user009 omg can’t two people just be friends?? even if they’re more than friends should we even care??

hater17 i get a weird vibe from her. idk. i dont like her

↳ hater62 no bc i totally agree. there’s something about her that bugs me and i can’t put my finger on it. i hope she doesn’t take advantage of lando 💔

↳ user72 “take advantage of lando” 🥱 puhhh-lease you’re saying that like she’s not an incredibly successful athlete that has 3 Olympic gold medals and is as well known, if not more, than lando

user90 does anyone know why she rarely shows her face??? I wanna know what she looks like so badly

↳ user108 I mean… did you not watch the video monster put out?? Her face is clearly in that 😭😭

user779 chip and lando this, chip and lando that. but we should talk about the sibling-like banter between her and pato. they’re kind of iconic 💔😔

↳ user028 PLEASE. when Pato was “bullying” her and then she just… pushed him off his snowmobile??? 😭😭 and then Nolan and Chloe started to chant “fight, fight, fight” ???

hater59 she’s actually so annoying. she can’t stay away from any of them and it’s so cringe

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Liked by chipnflip, chloekim, maxverstappen, and 1.6m others

lando Truly an awesome experience! Huge thank you to @.monsterenergy for hosting this event, will forever remember it!

Tagged: chipnflip, oscarpiastri, chloekim, patriciooward, and 5 others

annika.overtomorrow It was great meeting everyone!! We’ll have to do something again! Liked by author.

↳ lando gotta get the gang back together sometime soon!

↳ user2 THE GANG. ARE THEY ALL BESTIES NOW??!!

user14 SEVENTH SLIDE. SEVENTH SLIDE

chloekim You weren’t a horrible snowboarder, I’ll give you that.

↳ lando You honor me greatly

user85 call me crazy, but is that chip in the seventh slide???

↳ user23 I was thinking the same thing but she doesn’t wear those types of goggles 💔💔

chipnflip Will forever laugh at your hair in pics 1 and 4 🫵🏻🤣

↳ lando You’re just jealous 🥱🥱

↳ chipnflip whatever helps you sleep at night!!

user65 Still obsessed with the fact Nolan casually pulled 10 McLaren lego sets out of his suitcase

↳ user17 No bc I cackled when that happened

↳ nolansiegel what can I say? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I come prepared

hater9 Praying seventh slide isn’t… her. Was literally hard for me to watch the videos they posted bc of how obnoxious I found her. like wtf even is that nickname???

↳ user56 that’s not very girls-girl of you like your bio says. Liked by author

↳ user56 LANDO?????

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Liked by lando, nolansiegel, maxfewtrell, and 578,491 others

chipnflip Was definitely a fun time! Met so many new people and was able to catch up with some longtime friends :,) My runs weren’t too bad either 🥱🥱

user92 max f in the likes????

↳ user10 RIGHHHHTTT???

chloekim she’s an icon, she’s a legend, and she is the moment 😍

↳ chipnflip i’m gonna kiss u

↳ lando @chipnflip eh? 🤨

↳ user6 lando 💀

patriciooward It was great meeting you! Even if you did kick me off of a snowmobile!

↳ chipnflip booooo 👎 you’re making me sound aggressive

↳ patriciooward @chipnflip Good!

↳ user65 helpppo i love their friendship

oscarpiastri Pretty sure Lily has been attempting to subtly ask to meet you

↳ chipnflip Oh my gosh that’s so sweet 😭😭 text me!!

lando bet i could do the trick on the second slide

↳ chipnflip omg I bet you could 🤩🤩 bet I could win a grand prix in less than 110 races

↳ lando @chipnflip low blow :(

hater8 gosh, she’s so fucking rude.

↳ user14 girl, I think she was joking Liked by author

↳ hater8 but how are we supposed to know that??

↳ user14 as long as lando knew it was a joke why does it matter???

↳ lando I knew it was a joke. I was sitting right next to her.

user54 hold. lando and chip. hanging out. together. alone???? 👀

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+ stories from lando and chip during the trip

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okay, so I’m thinking of doing a part 2, maybe with some writing. just because I think the ending to this as of now is a little bland and I want chip and lando to do the classic soft launch photos (I have some cute ones).

Please let me know if you’d like another part!

[lovejenkins]

Thanks to my stupidly slow internet speed, looks like I’ll get to play Genshin in 35 hours. 🙃🙃🙃

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’m still pretty loopy from fatigue and I need to preface this story by stating up front that I am at like 30% brain power. Maybe less.

So my manager got us banh mi today which was deeply appreciated. He asked what I’d like and I said a pork sandwich with no cilantro or jalapeño. He said he can order without jalapeño but not cilantro. I shrugged and accepted that.

The food arrived with a rush of customers and sat waiting for us to eat it. I was the first one to finish and rush to the back, ravenous for tasty meat. There were three sandwiches. Only one had writing on it. Now in my defense when my wife and I get banh mi mine is always the one with writing because I order with substitutions.

I opened it and removed the cilantro. I bite in and I’m like. Hm. I think there’s jalapeño in here. I then look closer at the meat. It definitely looks like chicken. I poke my head out and ask my manager what he got.

He said chicken.

I said, “I’m so sorry.”

His face fell but he nodded and said, “Okay, just move the jalapeños over to one of the pork ones.”

“No but see. I really don’t want chicken. What if I just cut it?”

He agreed that that would be fine.

Two.

Hours.

Later.

He finally gets into the back and opens his sandwich. I heard a huge booming laugh. He then came out of the back room holding his sandwich and is like, “What is this???”

So I. In my infinite sleepiness. Assumed that the way to fix my crime was to cut off two inches of my sandwich to replace what I had stolen. And what he wanted was for me to cut the teeth marks off of his sandwich.

I wailed, “I’m so stupid! Of course you didn’t want two inches of my sandwich but I wanted to replace what I stole and it didn’t even occur to me to cut off the bitten part!”

He went incoherent with laughter.

[mrstevenss]

Hey!! Just wanna share my opinion on the TikTok ban here. Put on your tinfoil hats cause I’m gonna sound nuts when I say this but I think it’s all a huge publicity stunt for trump

LISTEN LISTEN I just don’t think that it’s a coincidence that everything’s been happening just TEN DAYS before trump gets into office. Basically what I’m saying is there was some kind of deal brought up that would make it look like tiktok- one of the most generally beloved platforms on earth (especially in america)- would be getting banned, obviously throwing everyone in a panic JUST so trump can come in and save the day so everybody will love him. Remember this is the same guy that wanted it banned years ago. Remember this is the same guy that will and has blatantly lied to his audience just for brownie points. Trumps ENTIRE business model is just saying what people wanna hear. THAT IS WHAT THIS IS!!! He’s taking the easy route of doing something that he knows everyone will unanimously agree is a good thing to do in order to make him out to be a hero IN ORDER TO GAIN SUPPORTERS

Yes yes I sound like the insane liberal here but this has literally happened before. There’s allegations of Ronald Reagan making a deal with Iran to keep hostages until he was in office rather than before when Jimmy Carter was president so that the event of the hostages being freed could be in HIS name since, technically, they were freed during his term

This event created a whole term - “October Surprise” - and BY DEFINITION is “a news event that may influence the outcome of an upcoming November election, whether deliberately planned or spontaneously occurring”

Compare this to the Trump and TikTok situation- the ban being set to go into effect on the 19th, just coincidentally a single day before trump gets in power, setting up the perfect heroic entrance for Trump. Guys, these people aren’t stupid. They know what it takes to be president, they know how to get support, get votes, give the people what they want- but not too much of what they want, because they need to make sure they always have an excuse for why they didn’t do what they “said” they’d do. Just listen to how ambiguous Trumps is about tiktok-

“Start thinking about tiktok”

“Maybe we’ll keep it around”

“My decision on TikTok will be made in the not too distant future, but I must have time to review the situation.”

“We’ve discussed TikTok”

“It has a special place in my heart”

So far he has NEVER said that he WILL save TikTok, but he’s hinting towards because that’s JUST ENOUGH of what the people want. Enough to make people cheer him on but little enough for him to take it back sometime later and not look like a complete liar

Or maybe I’m just inhaling too much aluminium foil particles and it’s making me insane

[demonic0angel]

"Why is my Wolf in whatever cult damned circle Constantine drew?

"He summoned her."

(This ask will not be related to this ask lmao. For the humor.)

Wolf dusted herself off. “Permission to leave?” She asked, and Red Hood nodded firmly.

“Granted.”

“What?!” Cried out several of the other heroes as Wolf neatly side stepped over the summoning circle and then into Red Hood’s waiting arms. He spun her around to check for any injuries before bringing her in close protectively, turning to glare at the others. Even though he had a helmet on his head, everyone could sense the dark look he was giving them.

Constantine looked nervous. “How did you get through the circle?! It should’ve also contained you and—”

Wolf hummed. “You were trying to summon two things at once. The Ghost King and something that can control the Ghost King. However, you were only able to summon me and since I’m human, your circle was unable to hold me in place. It seems as though you failed.”

Constantine growled. “This shouldn’t have happened! We needed to summon Pariah Dark! And how were you able to guess what the rituals were supposed to be for?”

“It’s easy. I can read ritual circles,” Wolf said, but she fell silent as Red Hood manhandled her into staying behind him.

“Alright, is anyone going to tell me what this entire stupid thing was supposed to be for? Or shall I just leave right now?”

For some reason, he had also been summoned to use his blood for the ritual. He was even more irritated because he had to be stabbed with a needle for all of this nonsense, only for it to fail.

Phantom raised his hand. His expression was very carefully blank. “We were supposed to summon the Ghost King to answer some questions about some rips in the dimension. Pariah Dark was supposed to appear, alongside whatever was needed to control the Ghost King. It seems we’ve failed since we only summoned… Wolf, was it?”

“Phantom!” Wonder Woman scolded, but Wolf answered Phantom’s question softly.

“… that’s right.”

Red Hood turned to Wolf, slightly confused on her uncharacteristically docile answer. Usually, he would’ve expected her to be sharp tongued and scold the heroes for a failed ritual (since she hated incompetence), but now, she was rather quiet.

Red Hood felt even more protective over her and wrapped an arm around her. He said coldly, “Since you failed, can we go? If you can’t even complete neither parts of the ritual, it just goes to show how incompetent you are. These are the people you surround yourself with, Batman?” He sneered at Batman, who remained silent.

Constantine was indignant. “There’s no way it could’ve failed! The ritual to summon Pariah Dark and something to control him was all done correctly, and I even used the blood of a liminal, which should’ve been exactly what was needed to summon the Ghost King! It should’ve worked! I swear!”

Phantom coughed. He seemed to be hiding a smile behind his fist, but Red Hood blinked and it was gone. “Well, maybe we were a bit too hasty. I’d say we should let Wolf and Hood go, and we can come back again after more research has been made? How’s that for a plan?”

Constantine grumbled but agreed. There were more murmurs but no one disagreed, all chastened by the scolding. Batman turned to Red Hood and then said, “You’re free to go.” Red Hood sneered again, rubbing Wolf’s shoulder before he held onto her protectively and turned to leave.

“Hood,” Batman called one more time.

Red Hood turned, pulling Wolf behind him again.

“… tell Wolf that we’re sorry she’s been brought into this. You two can go home and rest…. We have more than enough of your blood, so you won’t need to come back.”

Red Hood huffed, a lot calmer now. “Whatever, old man.”

Then he turned and left with Wolf in tow.

Behind in the ritual room, Phantom was on his phone, texting something to someone named Jazz. He was struggling not to laugh as he thought about what just occurred, muttering to himself, “I can’t believe they were trying to summon Pariah of all people...”

But alas, there was no one around to hear him mutter those words to himself. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have had to struggle several more times…

[zweigsons]

mike faist save me but specifically him as art in that one scene on the couch with tashi where he is so boyfriendhusbandloversneakylink errmmmmm saw your post about wanting rqs so maybe write something like that okay bye much love

he's so pretty when he goes down on me!

art donaldson x f!reader smut

summary: you can't even leave your husband alone for two hours - he'll decide he needs you all to himself.

etc: nsfw!, finger-fucking, oral f!receiving, stupid stupid boy who is absolutely whipped for you

a/n: yes this took me like five million years WHO CARES

word count: 833

“I missed you,” You had hardly gotten in the door before your husband was greeting you with a kiss. 

You giggled against him and then pulled away. “I was on a grocery run,” You said, flitting away from him and to the kitchen counter to set your bags down. 

He hummed, coming up behind you and kissing the back of your neck. “I know. I still missed you.” 

You turned around and his nose bumped against yours. He grinned, kissing your cheek and then aiming for your mouth, but you turned away. 

It was cute how fast his grin turned into a pout, “You’re mean to me.” 

“I have to put the cold stuff away,” You reasoned, glancing back at him and biting back a giggle. 

He sighed and stepped back, letting you do what you had intended to when you stepped through the door. Once the cold and perishable items were away in the fridge, you went back to your position in front of him. 

He kissed you, slowly and sweetly, and you let him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he pushed you into the counter, hands on your hips. “You taste good,” He said in between breaths and kisses. 

You smiled, “I stopped by the farmer’s market and they had some free samples of honey.” 

He swallowed and you watched as his smile twisted to the side for a moment. “You should’ve gotten some. I’d love to lick it off of you,” He chuckled, leaning in and licking your neck as if it were a demonstration of what he would do. 

You scoffed, “You’re funny. Maybe next time.” 

“Mmh, next time,” He had already stopped paying attention to your words because he had dropped to his knees, beginning to bunch up the maxi skirt you had worn out. 

“Art,” You gasped softly. 

“What?” He asked like he didn’t know what he was doing. “I’m just showing you how much I missed you,” He grinned before pushing up the rest of your skirt and mouthing at your cunt through your underwear. 

“I was gone for, ah, two hours,” You sighed, giggling a little as he nibbled at the waistband of your underwear. 

“Two hours too many,” He mouthed against your skin. 

You shuddered as he curled his fingers into the waistband of your underwear, pulling them down. 

And, finally, as if the thought just occurred to him, he asked, “This is okay, right?” 

He looked like a puppy, looking up at you from the floor, pressing another kiss into your tummy. 

“Jesus, Art, yeah. Yeah, it’s fine, I’m not gonna fuckin’ say no at this point.” 

He chuckled, “Okay. Good to know.” 

He pushed you up onto the counter and his strong hands spread your thighs apart. His tongue teased you for a moment before he brought your clit into his mouth and sucked on it gently. 

You hissed and your legs tensed as he continued to use his mouth to please you. He moved down and pointed his tongue, pushing it inside of you. His nose nudged against your clit as his tongue lapped at you and, God, it felt good.

“Art,” You whined, tilting your head back, letting it bump against the cabinets. 

“Wha’?” He asked, tongue still inside you. 

His fingers reached around and dug into your back, pulling you closer into him. You gasped and it slipped into a moan as you pressed your heels into his shoulders. He removed his tongue and then licked another stripe through your folds, his movements making you melt. 

Another moan squeaked out of your lips as he continued to work his tongue into you. You had to resist saying his name again as you tugged at his hair, biting down on your lip. 

He moved his mouth up again and sucked on your clit as he started to gently push two of his fingers into you. You gasped as he pushed his fingers into you, all the way up to his knuckles. 

You almost saw stars as he curled his fingers up, something close to a yelp escaping your lips. He chuckled against you, and the slight vibrations it brought made you melt. 

Another moan squeaked out of you, and you curled your fingers into his hair. “Baby,” You whined, feeling yourself teeter on the edge of your climax. 

He groaned as his tongue lapped against your clit, determined to make you cum. 

The coil in your stomach wound tighter as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, and within a few seconds, you were shuddering against him as you came. 

He rose up with a smug smile on his face and your wetness smeared across his lips. It was sexy. 

He leaned in to kiss you, and you let him. He tasted like you–which wasn’t a surprise. He started to deepen the kiss, but you pushed him back. “Help me put up the rest of the groceries.” 

He let out a snort of laughter, “Fine.”