#It’s also funny because it also discards and puts down other characters too doing similar in their stupid faces

[plumsaffron]

Whenever some character in a franchise is stronger than others thought.

Whenever someone is able to do something that disrupts their threshold (usually when some character shatters the “coded assignment" others marked upon them to feel content for strange simplification assertion).

Whenever such is able to not stay down like the rest want.

Whenever something is able to stand on their own

A lot of people for some reason, have this desperate urge to go out their way to assign things upon- well… against them (usually to put down or make things less interesting) because strange want excruciating answer thirst.

Desperate fiending or nitpicking to find or reduce them or make realistic out of everything instead of acknowledging because they are they them, they are just that good at it (OR IT’S A CARTOON, FOOL).

Funny thing is people that are actually that good at something(s) are a flat out real thing that exists and can’t simply give an explaination or way to teach others. They just have a unique flow that is hard to imitate or may not be able to duplicate.

Seems like assimilating to other masses interests template trash is a huge trend.

The inability to simply accept one is able to because they just are.

Ah that reminds me of those in The K-PAX movie.

[plasmalink]

Asuka Spells Tier List (from a floor 9 player)

Because I can't find an Asuka discord, and barely hear about people talking about the character, I'm putting myself out here to talk about his spells.

warning! long ass text ahead!!!!

S - Mana regen is by far the best spell. It gives you so much more leeway on offense and defense, and easily pays for itself. This is the main reason to go into Test Case 3 IMO. Lets you regain resources just by playing defensively without needing to commit to recovering mana. Green cubes are also fantastic in neutral, usually forcing your opponent to block or commit to something huge. Gives you a moment to breathe, and it catches people way more than I'd expect. Auto Import is also huge, the other half of exodia (the former being regen) that allows you to just go NUTS with your spells. However, it fucks with my muscle memory not needing to redraw spells, meaning I frequently cast a spell, then discard the spell I just got. Oops.

A - All of these are really close. Blue cube is just a really nice, fast projectile that establishes a threat. Accipiter metron is great both if your opponent does or does not read your spells, either threatening or surprising an overhead. The bounce is huge too, giving you plenty of time to confirm into a full combo. I don't think many other characters have fast grounded overheads into full combo. Screamer just WINS round start. There's enough in TC1 to be somewhat consistent about it, too. It's also fantastic at just catching the opponent pressing buttons, or low airdashes, not even mentioning its guard crush. Fire cubes are great, but their levelling system makes them a little bit awkward to use at times. Still, a consistent level 4 or 5 fire cubes would make S tier easy. Terra metron is actually like, way better in the air? Even though it's no longer a low, it just hits at such a weird angle and distance that nobody expects, also with a nice pop-up. Works great on the ground too, but you already have your e-sports 2D in a similar niche, though with less reward. Electric cube I find is a bit worse than the speedy blue cube, but not by much. Fantastic if you're already in a combo, but it losing to a single hit or projectile makes it slightly sad in neutral. Mana discount is store brand mana regen. Similar end result, but while Mana Regen lets you take your time, get you out of mana-less state faster, and even works while you're getting comboed, discount only does anything when you are casting spells. Nice if you've already gotten a solid footing, but sometimes doesn't help.

B - Restock is nice. It's saved my ass quite a few times when I had no meter and no spells. It's also sat on my spell bar doing nothing because I have other spells I don't need to refill (Or worse, I have like two staves I can't find a moment to discard/cast). Tardus metron is mainly an Oki tool, but a very good one. The fact that it still dies in one hit or projectile gives it limited neutral use, but it certainly does lock down an opponent. Also fun when you have a staff down. Teleport is pretty situational, and I think 4 is too many copies of it in TC3. I don't like having more than two in hand at once. It raises Arpeggio and itself both a full tier when you have both, though. Great against people who don't read your spells. Boost zap is kind of a worse screamer? I rarely see it outside of level 1. Still, a worse screamer is still pretty nice. I think it's also possible to combo from midscreen? Though going fullscreen with screamer is also perfectly fine for Asuka. Arpeggio is undoubtedly cool as FUCK. However, it's slow and expensive (24% mana! That's 3 blue cubes!) to cast. Sampler is okay. Copy of the next spell you cast. Also fucks with my muscle memory like auto import. I wish it was in the same test case as Accipiter, it would be very funny for multiple overheads in a row. Aquila kind of sucks but it's also very nice to have, if that makes sense? Your only invincible move, metered or otherwise. Very nice against people who DO read your spells, as they might opt to forgo meaties on your wakeup unless they have a safejump.

C - It's hard to be mad at chaotic option, it does have some nice ass spells, but I'd also much rather just draw those spells in the first place rather than needing to cast this to draw them though. Suck staff is the funniest one, lets you perform the most heavily scaled combos known to man. One thing I'll say about all the staves though, it's annoying to have to actually cast them. They take about as much time as an electric cube, and sometimes my hand gets clogged with them and I need to manually discard them. Fast staff gives you some nice guard crushes, makes your pressure up close very nice and very annoying from afar. Slow staff is worse than fast staff, but it makes people freeze up when they see a wall of cubes, giving you plenty of time to get your shit in order and regenerate some mana. Nice after a burst. Instant mana, I don't like very much. The mana boost is appreciated, but leaving yourself without spells sucks. 53% mana on an otherwise empty hand isn't bad though. Use it when you have 50 meter to go into full order. Random import does address my issue of being stuck with 2 staffs and a teleport in your hand, but the fact that it doesn't import on empty slots hurts it.

D - Repel staff, meh. Don't like it much. Still kind of funny though Down staff: Has that instant overhead with Jump D, but I still struggle to find much use. Up staff: boing! good against may maybe? Or anyone else who really likes jump-ins?

Alright, that's the list. Any other Asuka players, feel free to light me up.

[tero-ga]

Aaaaanother TGAA SwapAU stuff and it is my wonderful boy Albert as the prosecutor!!

I've changed some of the designs in this one like the jacket color to white to make a resemblance of a lab coat and reflecting of Kazuma white school uniform, as well trying to bring more Frankenstein's Monster vibe too hehe (aaand make him look more miserable too). He is also have a locket that have a painting of him and his two brothers, it was given by Andrew during his wedding!

I also made bunch of character that related to Swap!Albert's life from 10 years ago, like Andrew(Klint's roleswap) and his other brother Michael, university Barok and Albert, etc. more info about the are there down below 👇👇

First of I wanted to say I'm sorry I can't do full render of everyone here, do that with all of them would be death sentence for me so I couldn't do it 😭😭 Anyway without further ado, I'm going right into it! Start from left to right!

This first one Ryunosuke father replacing as Genshin Asogi. At first while brainstorming I was thinking of maybe do three switch around with Genshin, Jigoku, and Yujin but the it somehow felt weird for me. Then the thought of maybe involving Auchi in this too (like, imagine him being swap with Jigoku wouldn't that be funny and terrifying thought), but discarded that idea out because of Menimemo would have no one to swap with (i have to i'm sorry). Sooo I ended just design him from scratch, he is quite easy to figure out since Genshin doesn't really have much going on with him, but since we don't have any idea of original Ryunosuke's parents at all I have to take idea from something else, and that is his daruma doll for his eyes (he is half blind!! :D) and Phoenix DD/SOJ design (droopy hair and light vest) and everything else is from Genshin. His name is Ryuuki Naruhodo since Ryunosuke is another name for Ryuichi so I want to keep the train going!!

Andrew the screwdriver, oh I missed him- Anyway, I redesign his outfit because tbh his previous outfit is ridiculous 😭 it's funny and fun but I do want to take him seriously now. I'm tried to keep the A shape still but it's less subtle now, I think it turned out okay!! (Oh yeah, his cane is supposed to be a hidden sword but i forgot to put that in the drawing 😭). I was supposed to make his bowtie red like the hair tie but then I realized it will getting rid of the purpose of the hair tie (it referencing the blood on the tip of the screwdriver) so I ended up making it color silver.

The Lady Baskerville, I gave her similar design to Sunny(Herlock!Swap) with the bowtie, color palette to his mascot, and hair on her. I'm not really quite fond with her design, maybe I'll do redesign her again if I got a idea pop up like crazy but in the meantime this is her design.

Guess who is this?? Another one of Albert's tool is here finally!! Michael the crosshead screwdriver! Since we never see Michael anywhere and only mentioned once in the game he is, I'm just draw simple design for him (I wished I could put M shape in the design but I have no idea WHERE to put it 😭 so I tried used the bowtie for it). I also thought it would be nice to make him a defense attorney so I made the design for the badge too. Since he is sadly not going to be mentioned a lot in this AU since I'm trying to make the storyline same as the original, so I made a backstory of what happened in the fun fact tags. There was supposed to be more tool to be added but my god that would be taxing to design, so I have to make only Andrew and Michael as his only siblings.

The doggie Balmung replacement, Bolt, He is a Irish Setter! Beforehand he was supposed to be Borzoi but then research the background of the breed I don't how difficult it is to actually get one in that era so I have to changed breed :((

Albert and Barok in university days!! I just keep same as before like previous design!! There's a tiny change like the hair and the neckties.

There is going to be more content of them soon because I have a lot of ideas for them sooo stay tuned ;)

Here's the concept designs!!

[ackermanshoe]

Just a few things to talk about here: lengthy 😩

Levi being a 2 in teamwork meaning he never had chemistry while fighting alongside others, like ever. But then mikasa happened. As if isayama spelled it out for us that Levi and mikasa’s connection is so special, particularly to Levi, from the beginning. So now you realise that Levi has experiences with mikasa that he has NEVER had before with anyone, ever.

So you have seen this picture before but I’d like to take the time to dig deep into this. It’s from erens point of view and it most likely shows how he remembers these characters to be most of the time. Connie and admin being playful with each other, Sasha laughing at them, floch and marlo talking and hitch (?) just existing there because eren prolly never interacted with her.

Hanji in the background smiling at the group and Erwin giving them a soft smile. However there’s something particular about both Levi and jean isn’t it? Yeah you guessed it, both of them are looking at mikasa’s direction. ( I saw a post where they were trying so hard to refuse the FACT that Levi was looking at mikasa, even though they acknowledged that Jean was. 🤥🤥)

And lastly mikasa softly smiling at eren. You can clearly see Jean being glaring at that and the fact that isayama drew ALL of their eyes so crystal clear EXCEPT both Levi and Jean,,,, gets me. So you’re going to draw faces of people being themselves but what purpose does it serve you to draw both Levi’s and Jean’s( Jean who is a known mikasa simp) face looking at mikasa’s direction but not draw their eyes ( pupils ) clear? Was it forshadowing their mutual feelings towards her? Since “eyes are the window to the soul” and the drawing does not allow for us to get a clear view of their eyes was isayama implying that both Levi and Jean had hid their feelings for her?

Of course jeans face has a certain darkness to it because everybody is aware of his unrequited love and isayama does little to hide that. But notice how both Levi and his faces are tilted in a way. And the most obvious connection to both Jean and Levi are the way Levi is positioned almost in a line behind Jean, which creates a vector line from their eyes leading straight to mikasa.

Let's talk about this shall we? See how by placing the dark haired people on the front and centre has created a salient within this frame? Yeah the rest of the people in there are either blonde or light haired, Isayam placed each character there with a purpose. Now I'm not saying the 4 heads makes it look like a heart shape but that's excatly what I'm SEEING. maybe, just maybe this was a forshadowing of mikasa's choice, since she was placed in the middle of both Levi and Eren. Eren, whose face is not placed on the same level as Mikasa and Levi could possibly represent "dream" or a reality which would be hard for Mikasa to reach, therefore giving a hint of chapter 138 and mikasa's headache AU.

Whereas Levi, despite his height, face is on the same level as mikasa's. A form of equality, sameness, familiarity and most importantly symbolising reality.

Since he isn't hard to reach from where is Mikasa is placed. And lastly Gabi, we have all seen rivamika parental mode kicking in the recent chapters and here Gabi being in between Levi and her could possibly hint their parenthood, an option that will only be available if Mikasa choose reality: Levi. Therefore Gabi representing quiet simply Levi and mikasa's possible kid. Ackerbaby 👶

This panel, I'm dying to talk about this.most important question: is it Levi's tears that's falling?

I have stared at this for houRS, and I still don't have an unbiased answer. Although most would discard this as spit or sweat Levi probably has from yelling, I'm not fully convinced by it. Maybe it's my desparate rivamika mind that's refusing to let it go but how would spit or sweat end up where his bandage is?

On the too right corner we see multiple drops but why would anything but a tear be where you can see that single droplet of water on his bandages? It's literally so suspicious which is why isayama makes me mad, he teases so much and so subtly. He doesn't show Levi's eyes there, he could have, to emphasize on Levi's level of worry which could have been more effective when reading his expression and yet isayama chose to show his widened mouth to showcase Levi's anxiety.

I'm still debating on this however there's no mistaking it that Levi cares for Mikasa more than anyone.

Which brings me to this:

The similarities that I can not call parallels just yet, between erehisu and rivamika is really comforting as cruel it maybe to mikasa and historia. Levi is willing to have historia eat the beast titan without remorse, without thinking. Where as eren as we all know will do anything but sacrifice historia. Yes, anything. Even if it means putting mikasa ( and admin) on the boat as everyone else and letting them do whatever they want. In a way both of them are treating both mikasa and historia the same way.

Note Levi’s eyes while talking about historia almost looks psychotic which is unlike Levi and his eyes while looking at mikasa.

Eren who is pressed down to one single choice which might risk mikasa’s life but he won’t sacrifices historia. Protecting her.

Levi who decides to help mikasa has made a choice without any regret, relying on her.

And as for their respective person, both eren and Levi’s gesture and behaviour changes when they are around them. As eren said historia is the girl who saved him and the same way mikasa is the who may bring meaning into Levi’s life. I feel like these two couple has always developed together, take s3 aka rivamika season 🥵

The same way rivamika found trust and a way to bond, so did eren and historia. In their own way they. It’s funny because both of their development are so weirdly ignored by the aot general fandom, gee I wonder why 😒 anyway through these similarities or whatever you may call it you can really see who they each really care for and value over the other.

Lastly

LMAO idk how much people considers pieck and Porco canon as potential lovers but this shot of porco really reminded me of Levi’s jealous look. Not to mention pieck resembled mikasa with that ponytail

Although I support jeanpiku I always had this feeling that porco and pieck might have been shipped together and they are, in this scene ( I haven’t watched the ep) I ASSUME porco is looking at her this way because of these men around looking at her and blushing, well it does resemble another grumpy old man. Anyway I’ll never shut up about that scene with both historia and Levi looking at their partners, jealous and shit 💆‍♀️💅💅💅

Okay I’m done talking for now, thank you again for reading as always idk what this post was tbh I didn’t have it planned at all I just really wanted to talk about these that’s been on mind to spark new conversations about them.

I just wanna say I wish i was part of this fandom sooner, not only does this fandom has the best theorists but also such amazing people. I hope our shitposting and analysis of rivamika will not end with chapter 139. Rivamika will always make me happy and this place will always feel like home, thank you for creating this community 😭💜💜💜💜

[ibijau]

Price of Wishes / on AO3

Nie Huaisang tries to find a solution to his newest problem

The unexpected words ring loud into the room, shaking Nie Huaisang to his core. He gapes at Lan Xichen, eyes round and mouth open in shock, hardly able to breathe. The god looks down at the book, seeming mildly embarrassed, while Nie Huaisang manages to get himself under control.

"You can't read this particular style of characters?" he asks, all too hopeful. If that’s the problem, then with a little practice...

"I can't read at all," Lan Xichen announces, ruining Nie Huaisang’s fragile hope. "It didn't exist when I was alive. By the time it came up, I had started to decline as a god, and I was too busy surviving. Besides, I'd figured it was just a passing fad." 

"You… just how old are you?" Nie Huaisang gasps, feeling nearly dizzy. 

If Lan Xichen is so old that writing didn't exist when he'd been mortal… then he had to be born centuries ago, or even a dozen centuries, or more. His head spins trying to understand that length of time. Nie Huaisang’s own sect was founded only a few centuries ago, there are records of it. Even Gusu Lan and Qishan Wen, by far the oldest of the major sect, and older than most sects in general, are much younger than the invention of writing.

“I’m not quite sure my age,” Lan Xichen admits, frowning slightly as he tries to remember. “Keeping track of that hasn’t been a priority. I… I’m sorry. Is it really so inconvenient that I can’t read?”

Nie Huaisang wants to cry, and bursts out laughing instead, his voice high and hysterical. He brings his knees against his chest, trying to ground himself, while Lan Xichen watches him with ever growing concern.

“Inconvenient doesn’t even begin to cover it!” Nie Huaisang squeaks, desperately hugging his legs. “Gusu Lan is a sect of scholars! You’d be expected not just to know how to read, but to be exceptionally well-read, to know all the classics, to have a deep understanding of poetry…"

Nie Huaisang pauses, nearly breathless with horror. He didn't think to put these things on his list. His mind was so full of his stupid crush on Lan Wangji, it seemed so obvious it didn't need to be detailed, and now this is biting him in the ass. 

Again. 

"This is an absolute disaster," Nie Huaisang hisses. "We're going to be caught, and I’ll be in so much trouble, and then da-ge will hear about it and he’ll be furious, and he won’t keep your altar, and then what will happen to you? You’re nice, I don’t want you to die! But I also…" he gasps in horror. "Oh no, Lan Qiren is going to kill me if he figures out that I’ve…”

“I won’t let anyone harm you,” Lan Xichen earnestly interjects, setting aside the book to put his hands on Nie Huaisang’s shoulders, trying to comfort him. “I will protect you. What happened is my fault more than yours, I’m the one who misunderstood what you wanted.”

Nie Huaisang, whose laughter has turned into weak tears, pitiful nods. It says a lot about Lan Qiren and the terror he inspires that Nie Huaisang feels even a god might not be enough to protect him from the venerable teacher's wrath. 

Then, realising something, he gasps.

“My list! How did you understand it if you can’t read?”

Lan Xichen’s hands move away. Instantly Nie Huaisang misses their weight on his shoulder, the slight warmth of them. It really had comforted him to be touched like that.

“I’m not sure how that was possible,” Lan Xichen says after taking a moment to consider this. “I don’t think I read it exactly. But you offered that list to me, and so I understood it, if that makes sense?”

Nie Huaisang’s tears stop, and he quickly wipes the lingering wetness from his face.

“Then maybe…”

Just as quickly as he fell into despair, Nie Huaisang's brain starts racing. There's got to be a solution. Already he can think of one… no, three things to test that could solve their problem. If this one doesn't work, then that one. Or maybe they could… 

He stands up again, and goes through his qiankun pouch once more until he finds some blank paper and his ink. While a puzzled Lan Xichen watches, Nie Huaisang paints a quick portrait of the god, one that he would normally be ashamed to ever show anyone, but which is enough for his purpose. Then it’s just a matter of setting a piece of fabric on the nightstand, putting a candle there, installing this picture of the god, and making a first offering out of some candies Nie Huaisang has on him.

It’s not the best of altars, and any other god would surely be deeply offended by this, but surely Lan Xichen won’t mind.

“You really don’t need to pray to me right now,” Lan Xichen mumbles as he comes to stand besides him, sounding mortified.

“I do,” Nie Huaisang retorts, rushing to grab the discarded book of Lan rules and placing it on his improvised altar. “My lord, accept this humble offering,” he says in the most formal tone he’s capable of, putting the book on that improvised altar.

Nie Huaisang bows down before his little altar, then waits a moment before turning to look at Lan Xichen who appears more puzzled than ever.

“It didn’t work,” the god sighs. “Whatever you were trying to do, it didn’t work. I’m sorry.”

Nie Huaisang shrugs. “It’s fine, I didn’t really expect that to work,” he admits, going through his pouch again. 

He's still panicking, but it's a productive sort of panic now so it's fine. Fear just makes him think faster, which is what they need right now. They only have three weeks to prepare, every instant counts. 

“I’ll just try something else, until something does work. And I have a plan if nothing works, as well," Nie Huaisang explains with a grimace, "but it’ll involve more actual lying than I’d prefer, so it’s a last resort.”

Grabbing the book again, he opens it at random and copies the rule there onto a piece of paper. He tries to be more careful with this than he was with the portrait, trying to make the character nice and neat in spite of his trembling hands. Before the ink is even dry, he presents that new offering onto the altar, bowing before it and praying silently to Lan Xichen.

“Oh!” Lan Xichen gasps. “Have a strong will and anything can be achieved. Is that right?”

“It is!” Nie Huaisang exclaims with a grin. “And if you look at the paper, does it change something?”

Lan Xichen comes close to the altar, and picks the quickly scribbled piece of paper. There is a slight frown on his face as he inspects it, but he eventually nods.

“Now when I look at those characters, I can recognise them,” he admits, before sitting down to pick up the book and observe it as well. “Have a… strong… oh, the way you wrote that one is really different, so it’s harder to recognise. Then… anything… can be… yes, I think I can recognise them, once you’ve offered them to me. So I suppose if you were to offer me every character there is…”

“I’ll have to,” Nie Huaisang sighs, the initial joy of his discovery crushed as he realises the enormity of the task ahead of him. 

That’s a few thousands characters to share, and Nie Huaisang knows he’s nowhere near as cultivated and well-read as a young master of Gusu Lan would be. He’ll have to do more tests, see how much his own understanding of characters is necessary if they are to be transmitted to Lan Xichen. And that won't solve the problem of all the books Lan Xichen should have read, books Nie Huaisang definitely doesn't have on hand right now. 

“This is a nightmare. I don’t know if I can…” Nie Huaisang takes a deep breath, fighting a sob. “I don’t think I can. But we’re going to try anyway.”

He sighs again, and looks at Lan Xichen who seems so truly sorry that Nie Huaisang can’t even be angry at him. It's annoying, because it means he can only be angry at himself. 

“And you’re also going to try to learn the normal way as well,” Nie Huaisang announces. “I’m going to find you a book to teach children, so you can study while we travel. It’s… we’re going to make this work." He hesitates, and looks up at the god. "We are, right?”

Lan Xichen doesn’t answer right away, as if seriously considering their chance of success. For some reason, and in spite of his anxiety, Nie Huaisang likes that better than if the god had immediately agreed. It makes it more meaningful when Lan Xichen finally nods.

“We will do our best,” Lan Xichen says. “I will learn all I can, and... If you believe in me, I know I can convince others that I am what you wish me to be. I will work hard to ensure I do not bring trouble for you.”

Nie Huaisang smiles weakly. He trusts Lan Xichen to try his best, which surprises him, considering they haven’t known each other very long. Nie Huaisang doesn’t think of himself as particularly trusting. Aside from his brother, his cousin Nie Zonghui, and Lan Wangji, he just can’t think of anyone in his life worth trusting. Those three, and now Lan Xichen too, never mind they have just now started being honest with each other.

Even though it is already late, Nie Huaisang decides to copy a few more rules for Lan Xichen to learn, this time starting from page one. No matter how many times he’s been forced to copy those stupid rules before, it’s the first time he’s paying so much attention to every word of them. He is careful to use his most legible style of writing, so Lan Xichen can learn the words properly, so he can recognise them more easily if he encounters them in another style. Lan Qiren would probably approve of his efforts, which would be funny if the situation weren’t so strange.

Nie Huaisang only manages to copy a dozen rules that night before he gets too tired to write properly. When he figures he won’t manage more than that, he places his sheets of paper in front of his improvised altar and offers them to Lan Xichen. The god recites the rules one by one, flawlessly, and even manages to read part of the next ones, since it touches on similar concepts. It is incredibly encouraging, Nie Huaisang decides, though with only three weeks ahead of them, they might still lack time to do everything.

It's fine. He has an idea for that, as long as they can get Lan Xichen to a certain level of familiarity with Gusu Lan's way. Nie Huaisang wants to start explaining that, but his god stops him. 

“You must rest,” Lan Xichen advises, giving Nie Huaisang a critical look. “It has been a rather intense evening for you. Let’s go to bed, and see in the morning how to proceed next.”

Nie Huaisang nods sleepily. He should feel his modesty take offence at the idea of undressing in front of a near stranger, but he’s too exhausted to care. Anyway, Lan Xichen is so old he doesn’t really count, and also they might get married someday, and then it’ll be normal to undress like this, so Nie Huaisang doesn’t see why he should make a big deal of it.

That logic makes sense in his exhausted mind, but it can only go so far. Nie Huaisang, once in his under clothes, looks around to decide which bed to pick, only to realise with horror that there’s only a single bed in this room.

“I thought this was a room for two?” he gasps, feeling a little faint.

Lan Xichen, slowly divesting himself from the many, many layers he has to wear to pass as a Gusu Lan disciple, nods distractedly.

“It is a big bed, Nie gongzi,” Lan Xichen says. “we could fit three or four in there.”

It might be exhaustion, or it might be embarrassment, but Nie Huaisang feels a little faint. Sleeping in the same room as someone else was already big, but this is huge. The last time he’s slept in the same bed as someone else was… 

It hasn’t happened since those first few months after his father’s death, when he had nightmares and couldn’t stand to be alone, terrified that his rageful father would return during the night and do something terrible. So it's been years, and at least Nie Huaisang was young back then, which excused the impropriety. 

Maybe if Lan Xichen showed any trace of unease, Nie Huaisang would try to protest. But the god treats this situation as if it’s perfectly normal, and maybe it is for him. Maybe in the olden days, people just slept like that. Nie Huaisang thinks it’s something poor people do, but of course he wouldn’t really know. He is too tired to try to explain why it’s odd, anyway. If Lan Xichen thinks this is fine, then it’s probably fine. Gods are supposed to know what’s right and what’s wrong, don’t they? 

If Lan Xichen doesn’t mind, Nie Huaisang will try not to mind either.

Before things can get a chance to get awkward, Nie Huaisang climbs in bed and curls up under the blanket, as close as possible to the edge of the mattress so there will be plenty of space between the two of them, for propriety. He then closes his eyes tightly, desperately trying not to notice when Lan Xichen comes to lay down next to him.

He fails in that endeavour.

Lan Xichen doesn’t lay particularly close to him, the way lovers do in certain books that Nie Huaisang isn’t supposed to own, but he isn’t particularly careful to keep distance between them either, as if this doesn’t mean anything to him. 

Perhaps it doesn’t. 

Nie Huaisang can’t help but curl a little tighter when he thinks just how much of a stranger the man in bed with him is. All Nie Huaisang knows for sure about Lan Xichen is the fact he had been lying to everybody, and would have lied to him as well if he could have gotten away with it. 

Or would he? Lan Xichen said he wants them to be friends, that he doesn’t like feeling Nie Huaisang’s fear of him. Was that the truth, or another lie to fit with what the list demanded? 

Maybe Nie Huaisang doesn't know anything at all about this god he’s going to help deceive everyone.

What he does know, then, is that he wants to trust Lan Xichen, even if it goes against all good sense. Lan Xichen hasn’t done anything to hurt him so far, has he? On the contrary, he has been kind, he allowed him to take refuge in his temple, granted him a wish so huge that Nie Huaisang hadn’t ever thought to actually ask for it, and now he’s trying his best to make Nie Huaisang comfortable and…

It’s not that Nie Huaisang has much to complain about. He knows he’s lucky, that he’s never lacked for anything, that his brother loves him, in his own manner. The Nie elders don’t like him too much, and he’s not close to any disciples, but he has a friend in Wangji, and he has his birds, so he’s not lonely, not really. 

Not exactly.

He’s not lonely, but nobody has ever acted like being at his side was worth making an effort. Wangji just doesn't have anyone else, his brother can't go against blood, his birds are kept in cages. Nobody had much of a choice. Not until he met this odd god, who is ready to go to incredible extremes just to be around him.

A mean little voice in the back of Nie Huaisang’s head tells him that it’s just because Lan Xichen is so desperate for believers he’d latch onto anyone at all, that Lan Xichen is forced like all the others, but… but it’s still nice to have been the one who entered that temple, who made those offerings, who prayed to that abandoned altar, and thus became worthy of those efforts. At least, he hopes he’s worth it. He hopes Lan Xichen won’t regret choosing him. He hopes…

“You need to sleep,” Lan Xichen orders, shuffling closer, close enough to almost touch Nie Huaisang. “Is there a problem? Is the bed not comfortable? Are you cold?”

Nie Huaisang curls so tight on himself that his chin pokes the space between his knees. Briefly, a sill thought crosses his mind. If he says he’s cold, what will Lan Xichen do? Hug him for warmth like people do in stories? The idea makes him shivers, and he quickly shakes his head, because he’s terrified Lan Xichen would really do something like that, because it’s ridiculous how much he wants a hug right now. It’s been an awful, intense evening, and he’d give anything for a hug, but he’s sure he’d die of embarrassment if Lan Xichen were to hold him.

“If you’re nervous about this situation, we can always think of another way to deal with this,” Lan Xichen offers. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow if you like, but for now…”

Lan Xichen puts a hand on Nie Huaisang’s shoulder, seeking to offer comfort, or to calm him perhaps, but Nie Huaisang flinches so violently that he nearly falls off the bed.

The offending hand is immediately removed, and Nie Huaisang can feel the god’s eyes on him. He braces himself for questions, or accusations, or anything at all really. But Lan Xichen just sighs sadly, and moves away, closer to the other edge of the bed, and that’s the end of it.

Nie Huaisang curses himself. Of course even when something good happens, when someone tries to be nice to him, he has to ruin it.

Sighing as well, Nie Huaisang tries his best to fall asleep, while cursing himself for making things so awkward when clearly Lan Xichen is just being friendly. What else but friendly could he be, anyway? Even if he modelled himself after Nie Huaisang’s list, it’d be stupid to ever expect him to fall in love or anything. After all, Nie Huaisang knows he isn’t a very likeable person, or else his brother wouldn’t always be angry at him, and he wouldn’t have needed to invent a version of Lan Wangji that doesn't just tolerates him.

Likeable people don’t need a deal with a god to find someone to marry them.

And with that thought in mind, Nie Huaisang finally manages to drift to sleep.

When he wakes up in the morning, the other half of the bed is empty, and Nie Huaisang finds that he has been carefully tucked under the blanket. It must have happened recently, because he knows he moves a lot in his sleep, something his brother has complained about at length those few times they shared a bed.

Nie Huaisang knows he should get up, get dressed and grab some breakfast so they can continue their journey toward Gusu. He should do that, but instead he stays in bed as long as he can, enjoying the warmth of that blanket so meticulously wrapped around him, and pretends it means something even when he knows it doesn’t.

[burningrebelsworld]

Hello ! I just hope the exchange readings are open:) if they're not pls feel free to ignore my ask:)

Soo.. I'll be answering the ask of :

Which fictional character does your fs represent ?

I got the CHARMING Joey from F.R.I.E.N.D.S

okay so your fs is gonna be super duper loyal . Even though a bit dim-witted , they'll always have their luck with dates haha. The fact that your fs is the very sweet and with people makes them a good person! It's like there's sweetheart hidden inside them .But , but , we also know that Joey was a bit innocent (like naive-innocent) so that could be your fs . Before i watched friends i saw Joey as funny (only) and he's so much more than that ... Your fs could be very compassionate too ... Now , it could happen that your fs doesn't treat some women very nicely(like ghosting them and stuff) and you'll be the one who'll actually make him treat you nicely or something lol , it'd be fun !The best thing is that your fs is gonna be funny .. due to laughing you're gonna cry your eyes out is what I feel . Your fs could.also be cute and needy lol .. they'd always wish to have you around and could even miss you during working hours/while you're away ... Be ready for your fs to charm you out of your wits hahaha !

I hope atleast something resonated pls.do tell me if it did , if it didn't I'll be more than happy to do a reading for you again :)

Soo for me I'd like to have the same question answered :)

My initials - TNK

A Virgo Sun

Hi, love. Thank yoouuuuu soooo much for participating in the exchange reading. I'm extremely sorry for the unreasonably delayed reading. I appreciate your patience :)

Onto your reading now:

Which fictional character does your FS represent?

The fictional character your FS represents is Bojack Horseman.

I haven't watched the show entirely, but I know the plot and the things I'm picking up for this reading are lack of self-esteem and a painstakingly low self-worth. Your FS might attach their value to all the materialistic things they own, and the riches they can accumulate and hoard. Like Bojack, they feel very lost in their life, and they see the world from the eyes of the hurt inner child who's holding onto all the bad things that have happened to them in the past. They crave a lot out validation from other's, because they're unable to love themselves and see themselves in a very bad light. Everyone automatically becomes better than in their eyes because they tend to put people on a pedestal when they like someone. They loathe being alone and spending time with their own selves. They're terrified of facing their demons. I am picking up on a lot of libra energy with strong scorpionic placements. They could have addictions such as drugs, alcohol, sex etc. And they barely do anything to take care of their well-being. Similar to Bojack, they're stuck in a very toxic cyle but continue to live life that way without acknowledging how their habits are not allowing them to evolve and become a better person. They're operating from a very low vibrational energy atm. Bojack was a narcissist, but I feel your person just has a lot of narcissistic traits that could've been because of their upbringing and the environment they grew up. They have a lot of ancestral trauma they're dealing with too. It could have been passed down in he family. They're power hungry and desperately want fame because they rely a lot on external factors to feel temporary happiness. A lot of people don't get along with Bojack and hate him, however, deep down no one really understands why he is the way he is. I'm not saying what he does is okay, all I'm saying is that it's the lack of fucks he has to give because no one empathizes with him. Your FS might be street smart and extremely direct in their speech. They do not like sugar coating the obvious. They're not emotionally however, and want to be a "macho" person. They could discard emotions are a sign of weakness. They're always after the next shiny thing, be it a PS-5, a new car, a pair of Jordans etc. They try to fill their void in weird ways instead of taking genuine steps towards healing. They don't take accountability for their actions and in the process hurt a lot of people who have a lot of love for them.

I'm so sorry, the messages that came out weren't the best to read. But I didn't want to sugarcoat anything. :(

[theladysexpistol]

Can i get Josuke, Polnareff, Formaggio and Narancia trying to jumpscare their s/o but they were holding a kettle with boiling water and they spilled it on themselve and getting a bad burn ?

Hi anon! So my character limit is 3 unless it’s a team, I hope you don’t mind me just doing Polnareff, Josuke, and Narancia 🥺 don’t get me wrong i like Formaggio too (I’ve got a veryyyyy spicy WIP for him on the side), but I think him and Polnareff might be pretty similar anyway.

Also awww this kinda fluffy angst, the poor reader!

~~~

Polnareff

I cannot for the life of me remember what ep this is from lmaoo Pol you just really look so funny

To say Polnareff was devoted to you was almost an understatement. In the months he had been gone, investigating something for a friend he wouldn’t tell you about, he made sure to smother you in affection from afar. Love letters, flower bouquets ordered from vendors down the street you weren’t quite sure how he did it. You knew he missed you terribly, and you missed him too.

Especially on mornings like these, with the sun so bright and warm, not a cloud in the sky. You smiled to yourself at how cheesy it was to think of Jean Pierre just over a normal, sunny morning, but you imagined he would make a morning like this anything but mundane. You made yourself a cup of tea and went out to the front porch of the little cottage you lived in.

Polnareff wanted to surprise you when got back. It was incredibly difficult for him not to call you instantly when he was finished investigating. He wanted to hear your voice, to see you, to hold you and catch up on the months of time he had lost with you. He made his way up to your house with the widest grin on his face, and the largest bundle of roses in his hand that he could possibly afford.

Both of you had the perfect reunion set up in your mind. You reached for the door at the same time Polnareff swung it open.

You jumped back when the door appeared to come alive, spilling your tea all over yourself. The boiling liquid burned your arms, and as if you wouldn’t have already started crying upon seeing him, you burst into tears.

Polnareff’s smile fell and the roses were discarded to the ground as he lunged forward toward you, putting his arms around your back to steady you.

“Mon cherie, what happened? I am so sorry... I didn’t mean to frighten you mon amour! Let’s get that treated right away.”

Despite his hulking frame and rather large muscles, Polnareff was gentle and tender as he helped treat your minor burns. Eventually your tears gave way to laughter. He had just been trying to surprise you and look what you had done. Any sort of romantic reunion was completely thrown out the window as the two of you had grown worried, spent the first hour together again trying to fix your stupid mistake.

He gave you a very confused look when you started laughing, and his face almost made you laugh more. Finally, you gathered yourself enough to bring your hand to his face, and pull him down into a kiss.

“Not what I had planned but...” you smiled as you finally got a good look at his face again. “Welcome home.”

Josuke

“Oh! Hello Josuke,” your mother greeted him after he’d knocked on the front door.

“H-hello, ma’am... uh, I mean Mrs [L/n],” he bumbled, internally flinching at his own trip up. It didn’t matter how many times he talked with your parents, it made him incredibly nervous. There wasn’t even any reason to be! They were incredibly kind to him; and if he could deal with his own mother, he should be able to deal with anyone. He sighed, ran a hand over his pompadour habitually, and gathered himself. “Is [y/n] free? I was hoping we could go together to meet up with our friends at the cafe.”

“Hm? Oh yes, [y/n] is awake in the kitchen. Go right on ahead, Josuke.”

As he stepped past your mother, however, he noticed she had a coat and her purse thrown over her shoulder, as if she was leaving. She seemed to notice him staring, because she smiled once more at him.

“I’m just running to the grocery store. You two kids better not get up to anything while I’m gone!” She said before stepping outside and closing the door.

Even though he knew she was teasing, Josuke felt a blush crawl across his face. He heard that all the time from his own mother, but there was something different about your mother saying it to him.

Now that he knew the two of you were alone though, he wasn’t embarrassed to give you a little surprise kiss. Purposefully, a miscue IOU’s grin crawled on his face as Josuke snuck toward the kitchen; for someone of his height and stature, one might think this was impossible, but Josuke had learned by now the art of stealth in order to play video games while his mom was sleeping down the hall.

He peeked his head around the wall, where he found you standing at the counter, humming a song to yourself. He was so overcome by the thought of how cute you were that he didn’t notice the kettle of boiling water in your hands as he lunged forward.

“Gotcha!” Josuke gleefully yelled as he seized you by the hips, but his lips did not make their way to your face.

You, aware that Josuke may be stopping by today but assuming you were alone when your mother left, shrieked upon the feeling of someone grabbing you. The kettle in your hand went flying, as did the cup of tea you had already poured in the other. By the time you realized it was Josuke, and that your mother must have let him in, you were already crying as the hot water burned you.

“Wha- shit! Shit!” Josuke immediately grew agitated when he recognized you were hurt, it then took him several moments later to realize it was his fault.

If there was one thing Josuke was devoted to, it was protecting the people he cared about. That was the basis behind the restoration ability of Crazy Diamond. And he was the one who had hurt you.

You didn’t flinch when he reached for you, that much was reassuring to him. He took both of your hands in his and manifested his Stand. It never mattered to him in the moment when people who couldn’t see Stands realized he had healed them somehow; all that mattered was taking away the pain, making it anew. And he wanted nothing more than to take the pain away from you. Even if Crazy Diamond’s ability made him feel the pain instead, he’d gladly take it. The burden belonged on him, it was his fault.

A minute passed and you passed your fingers over where the burn had been, mesmerized and stunned. You had no idea how Josuke had healed you. In fact it was somewhat of a miracle. But you didn’t want to think about it now, pushing it from your head as you looked up toward him.

“I’m sorry,” your boyfriend muttered, looking utterly defeated.

“It’s okay Josuke,” you cooed softly, wanting nothing more than to see his smile in that moment. “It was an accident, that’s all.”

As you pushed your head into his chest and hugged him, Josuke tenderly wrapped his own arms around you too. Right, an accident. And Crazy Diamond had healed you, restored your skin without fail. So that the only thing left of the incident was the dripping countertop where the kettle had spilled, and the guilt already weighing heavily on his spirit.

Narancia

Waking up in your arms was what Narancia lived for. You werent living together yet, but it was something you discussed often; especially considering how much time he spent at your place anyway, and how much he slept over. He had an extra bag left in your apartment just in case he got called out to a mission while in your home.

But when Narancia woke up to an empty bed, he found something he like even better - the smell of breakfast wafting from the other room. You were cooking for him?! It was like every day, you got more and more perfect to him.

Narancia hastily got dressed, pulling on much of the clothes he had been wearing the previous day. He assumed that in all his fumbling and swearing, you would have heard that he was awake from the open bedroom door.

He stretched, mussled his hands through his bedhead hair to make it more of an even unruly mess, and bolted out of the room straight to where you were standing in the kitchen.

“Buongiorno!” He yelled as he wrapped his arms around you tightly. His eyes were closed and a big grin was over his face, delighted to spend another morning with you.

But when Narancia heard you gasp, felt something hot drip ever slightly on his arms, he opened his eyes and his wonderful morning shattered.

“What happened?!” He growled immediately, as if he thought someone had attacked you. You were clutching your arm against your chest, gasping over and over again. But then Narancia���s eyes wandered over the stain on your shirt and the liquid on the floor, the shattered cup, and Narancia realized exactly what happened. Espresso was one of his favorite things, but right now he hated it more than anything else in the world.

“Cosa ho fatto? Damn it! Oh god, [y/n], I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to spook you!”

He couldn’t help but panic a bit, upset that he had caused this. All you had wanted to do was make breakfast for him and he repays you by burning you? Eventually, Narancia calmed down enough to bring you a wash cloth of cool water to wrap the burn in and guided you over to the couch. Your voice helped calm him down too, assuring him over and over that it was an accident.

Of course, how much more pathetic could he be? You were in pain, you were the one who had been hurt and yet you had to comfort him? Narancia was visibly upset as you brought him down to sit next to you, and cuddled into his side. Narancia was tense, but wiped the tears on your cheeks away and watched as you fell asleep with him. He was surprised by this trust; the anxiety that you might not feel safe any longer in his arms would keep him wide awake at night from that moment on.

~~~

[A/N: so like I spent a long time trying to come up with these and liked my ideas... but after writing them idk how I feel. I feel like I made the Polnareff one too lighthearted and the Narancia one too serious. But I put so much effort into them that I can’t see them coming out any other way. The Josuke one turned out exactly how I planned though. I hope you like them all anyway!]

[missblissy]

Valentino Theory

Very anticlimactic and weird theory about Valentino. I thought he was abused once and now see his position in hell as a payback of what he suffered. He doesn’t show a tantrum about angel, and actually gifts him lots of thing of his liking. And most of any he lets him live wherever he wants. He’s as not controlling as id expected plus he commits come basic mistakes, as talk about his businesses where angel can hear him and let a bag full of money for him to steal.But what really gets him mad is whenever Angel dares his authority, as if Val isn’t important. That’s when he get mad and tries to punish angel , seeking his submission out of him. He is ok with Angel doing what he wants, until he challenge him cause he hates being overpowered and , in my theory, cause he lived that in his life. And he’s so good at having people at his feet cause he knows how to feel like being dependent.

About Vox, he partly loves him and partly abuses him cause Vox is the eternal reminder of how weak he is and how much he relies on the tv demon. He craves for his attention, he wants to be a diva and always wants for vox to run after him, gift him things and all. But he gets mad when Vox doesn’t comply to him (like with sodas) because he’s been reminded Vox is actually stronger and can bring down his porn tv businesses in a snap of fingers. Being scared of being humiliated, of losing credibility , and of being subdued again, he never relies on anyone and always do what he was done in life to never lose power and for not being dependent on anyone. But in reality he knows he depends on Angel, his best actor and much stronger personality than his , for power and money, and he depends on Vox , the powerful tv demon which allows him to have his businesses in his studios who could always debunk him. He use drugs, money, psychology and seduction to be adored, cause Valentino well knows how easily he could be discard. And he snapped terribly when the people he illudes himself to be addicted to him are actually the ones he’s dependent on

This is some good fucking shit right here my dude. This is what I’m talking about. We have so many questions for Valentino, we no NOTHING about him other than from the pilot, the AddictAMV and what Viv has told us already. He’s the main antagonist I believe, correct me if I am wrong on this. But that means, if he is the main antagonist, then Viv has put just as much of time and effort into Valentino’s character and backstory as she did for Angel, seeing as Angel is the character closest to her, it would make total sense if Valentino was similar and tied into Angel’s development and background.

With that in mind, it make sense to me that Valentino is incredibly manipulative and knows how to manipulate people to do what ever he wants. He must be a smooth talker and probably is Psychological and pathological liar. The funny thing is, is that pathological liars believe that their lies are the truth, and they have doubts that they are even lying, they even lie to themselves. I would not be surprised if Valentino went through some sort of abuse himself, and was treated very similar to those hes treats now. It’s mostly why I like to think that he and Angel were alive together, and probably knew each other when they were alive too.. And even if they didn’t, I still believe that Valentino also knows what true suffering is, it’s why he went to hell, it’s why he became and overlord.

Valentino’s mindset is pretty much this: “If I must suffer, then so do you. If I must fall, I will bring you down with me. If I am questioned, you will never question me again”

[oswincoleman]

What is the central theme of the 12th Doctor’s era?

Is there one at all? Well, I would argue that there are several themes that could qualify. There is the teacher-student relationship, the blurring of borders between good and evil, the attempts by Missy and the Doctor to make each more like themselves... 

But I think the most definitive theme for the overarching storylines of these three series is the question: what does it mean to be the Doctor? This question is posed three times, once in each series, every time by a different character. Meet the “holy trinity”: 

In series 8, the Doctor tries to find himself again, and attempts to determine who he really is. He struggles with what he can and cannot do, where to draw the line between good and evil, and whether such a line exists at all. Whether a good Dalek can exist, or whether summoning an army of Cybermen to to save prisoners in a Dalek prison camp is morally the right thing to do. He struggles with how much he should intervene in the lives of others, and whether he has an innate responsibility to help out, or not. He isn’t always right, and makes mistakes in several instances, but always learns from them, until finally he has found a definition for being “The Doctor” that he is happy with: 

I am an idiot, with a box and a screwdriver. Just passing through, helping out, learning. I don't need an army. I never have, because I've got them. Always them. Because love, it's not an emotion. Love is a promise.

But even after he has found himself in this description, his journey is far from complete, and series 9 shows that this definition has its pitfalls as well. He refines this definition based on new experiences, and by the end of series 9 has found a description that he is willing to pass on. His final speech to Clara, and his speech to his future incarnation are almost identical. It is the same speech he gives to the two characters to succeed in his role after him. It is both his advice to them, and a summary of what it truly means to be the Doctor: 

Run like hell, because you always need to. Laugh at everything, because it's always funny. Never be cruel and never be cowardly. And if you ever are, always make amends. Never eat pears. They're too squishy and they always make your chin wet. That one's quite important. Write it down.

Never be cruel, never be cowardly, and never, ever eat pears! Remember, hate is always foolish, and love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind. Laugh hard, run fast, be kind.

In series 9, Clara is the one who asks this very question. She has grown in confidence and skill over the years. She doesn’t like relying on others, and is naturally a carer; she always seeks out anyone in need of help, and does whatever it takes to assist them, regardless of the cost to her. This is Clara’s driving force. It doesn��t take long for her to notice that she can learn a lot from the Doctor, who has centuries of experience of doing just that. First, she experienced 2000 years of the Doctor’s past actions. Then she tried emulating the Doctor, and pretended to be him. But by the time series 9 comes along, she no longer needs to pretend, she has become incredibly similar to the Doctor in almost all regards. But there is still a lot that she, as “The Magician’s Apprentice” still has to learn. In this process she faces several tough questions, when faced with some of the Doctor’s negative character traits, and her own mortality. Is it right to manipulate others, and put some people in danger for the benefit of others? Yet she keeps learning, keeps seeking out new opportunities. She constantly willingly puts herself to the test, uses what worked before, and discardes what didn’t work as well. Incrementally she takes up a more and more dominant role. Series 9 very often features essentially two Doctors at two different locations, each working towards the solution independently, while fully trusting one another to always do the right thing. 

Clara acquires nearly all of the Doctor’s traits throughout this series, while still maintinaing her individuality. But there is one last hurdle that seems to be out of reach for her; she is still very mortal, and depends on the Doctor for access to time travel. In the end, the Doctor gives her these final puzzle pieces as well, allowing her to achieve her ambitions, and complete her progression to really become a second Doctor. 

In series 10, we get the third character who is faced with this question: Missy. Unlike the Doctor and Clara, she at first feels forced to ponder this topic, as the Doctor wants her to be more like him. But as time goes on, as she is still trapped in the Vault, she starts taking it a bit more seriously. What started out as mere pretense becomes genuine consideration. Despite her attempts to make fun of, and downplay the Doctor’s efforts, it does have a noticeable effect on her. She doesn’t escape when she gets the chance to, she helps Nardole pilot the TARDIS, and provides assistance in copying with an alien invasion. In the end, she is confronted by two opposites; should she go down the destructive path of her younger self, or instead try something else, something that she realizes was lingering deep down in her all along, which the Doctor has tried to nurture? Her story ends with a disguise towards the Doctor, only revealing her true colours to herself. In her betrayal of the Master, she too has completed this arc, and embraced the concept of being the Doctor. 

This trinity; the Doctor, his apprentice, and his nemesis, all look towards the same ideal; the ideal that is the Doctor. The stories of these three characters defines this era (sorry Bill and Nardole), and are incredibly intertwined. Missy brings Clara and the Doctor together. She also probably has a hand in Danny’s death, which causes Clara’s breakdown, and increased reckessness. This in turn leads to her death, which is completely devastating for the Doctor. Yet instead of having his revenge, the Doctor saves Missy from her execution, and tries to make her a better person. 

All three of them suffer quite a bit along the way, but learn a lot from it, which ends up being essential for their understanding of what it truly means to be the Doctor. They all end up understanding, and being the Doctor. And they all die because of it. They all sacrifice themselves for the sake of others. Yet all (at least Clara and the Doctor, but possibly also Missy, as the Master always cheats death) live to tell the tale, and possibly have grown because of it. 

There is no definitive answer to this question, and each of them finds their own approach. And yet series 8-10 predominantly features the quest to find an answer, and to embrace it. 

[blue-mint-winter]

BSG 3x11 The Eye of Jupiter and 3x12 Rapture rewatch

How fortunate that the algae planet also contained the next directions to Earth. Of course this creates another confrontation between humans and Cylons.

Tyrol gets a hunch and starts climbing the mountain and completely by accident finds the hidden Temple of Five and the Eye of Jupiter. Yeah, right. It’s his subconscious that led him there.

The star close by is on the verge of becoming supernova. It can happen anytime, as Gaeta informs us. Classic Checkov’s gun there.

Cylons come te negotiate - the delegation of Gaius, Cavil, D’Anna and Boomer comes on board. Each of them have a specific importance in this chapter of the story.

Gaius gets a cold welcome but he’s happy to see other human beings again. Just their faces when they learned he’s alive said it all. Despite his hope and fear that he’s one of the Final Five, he’s still so craving human acceptance and approval. When he yells after Roslin that she owes him her life again, he’s just so desperate. This reunion with humans is the literal opposite of that dream he had of Roslin, Adama and Tigh forgiving him everything and accepting him back.

I really like the Boomer-Athena meeting face to face for the first time. They exchanged places they had in the start. And of course Boomer tells Athena everything about Hera.

Roslin’s lie is exposed, Helo and Athena are furious. Even Adama is unhappy with her about this. I like that Roslin doesn’t try to justify herself, she just accepts the blame. She takes the responsibility. She’s opposite of Baltar who when confronted with rightful accusation is defending himself with “But I did this good thing! You owe me!” like it’s going to balance his score or something. That’s not how it works.

So, Athena needs to get Hera back from Cylons, so she has Helo kill her. Damn. What a strong moment between them.

D’Anna and Gaius decide to go to the planet no matter what and Caprica Six feels left out of their secret plans. It’s something they can’t share with her (to protect her too) and she’s so hurt by it, because she loves them and she’s losing them. But it’s their decision and she lets them go.

Meanwhile, we have the love rectangle on the planet. Kara and Lee are having an affair, sort of, but there’s one problem - Kara doesn’t want to divorce Sam because of religion and Lee doesn’t want to cheat on Dee. So they’re stuck in this unsolvable quandary (well, if Dee and/or Sam died that would have been convenient). What’s worse, both Sam and Dee know what’s going on and they’re not happy.

I think Kara and Sam get fleshed out as a couple more in this. Their dynamic is based on similarities. They’re both free-spirited, flexible, share the sense of humour. In this episode their main similarity is being passive-aggressive to their love rivals lol. Also, turns out this isn’t the first time Kara’s had a guy on the side. So, do Kara and Sam have an open marriage or is it just Sam forgiving her everything and always taking her back no matter what? Something to think about. Anyway, no wonder Kara goes back to Sam. He’s safe for her.

Same can be said about Dee, she’s so loyal Lee, she’s similarly straight-laced. She even risks her own life to rescue Kara because Lee ordered her to. For Lee, she’s just as safe to come back to, because he knows she’ll take him back.

In this rectangle, the only one who is really confused and conflicted is Lee. He’s torn between what he wants and what he should do. He can’t discard his sense of right and wrong to be with Kara, so he’s bound to go back to Dee which is safe and right but doesn’t make him truly happy.

The Eye of Jupiter ends in some very well done stand off between Cylons and humans. Cylons send ships to the planet so Adama arms the nukes to destroy the Temple and everyone there, including his own son. Cylons don’t want to risk that (except Cavil, who argues that they have time to search for Earth for thousands of years and they should just take the chance to destroy Galactica) so they vote to withdraw, but Three overrides their decision. Ships withdraw but the one with the D’Anna and Gaius goes on. Three took the risk and she won because she was right and Adama didn’t send nukes over just one ship.

I like how at the same time Lee and Sam had another stand off over someone they both want - Kara. Sam wanted to go himself to rescue her and Lee forbid it. They also had to reach a compromise without shooting each other, so Lee sent Dee to the rescue.

And then it’s fun when Sam and Lee learn to work together as a team to defend the Temple from Centurions to give Tyrol time to interpret the symbols inside. Same happens with Kara and Dee who have to work together to get their Raptor off the planet.

And then in the end both couples are back in each other’s arms, with Lee and Kara just giving each other longing looks. They’re still torn apart by their choices.

On the baseship, Athena downloaded and meets Caprica Six, who takes her to Hera. Boomer has been taking care of Hera, but the ill child recognizes her real mother and calms down in her arms. And I think this was the last straw for Boomer. She took that as that final rejection. Now she believes that Cylons and humans should just go their separate ways. There’s no point to working for peace between their races.

Athena wants to take Hera to the human doctor, but Boomer threatens to snap Hera’s neck. This is the point of no return for her character, when she turns her back on humans like they turned on her. Now she’s willing to kill an innocent child. She became a true Cylon.

Caprica Six killing Boomer to save Hera is just so poetic. The series started with Caprica snapping a baby’s neck after all, now she stops another Cylon from doing that. Also, this is a second time she killed another Cylon to help humans.

On the planet Tyrol hesitates to destroy the Temple which gives time to D’Anna to take out the detonators. And then the star goes supernova.

D’Anna’s relationship with Gaius really went all the way from “He’s a little strange man” (in Final Cut) to them going on this quest together to find the truth about the Final Five. What’s funny is that they both think they are the Chosen One, not the other. Lol. But Gaius was a friend and a guide to D’Anna, helping her realize her destiny.

Unfortunately, they have Cavil with them and he figures out they’re not there for directions to Earth, but to find out the identities of Final Five. Gaius has to shoot him, but it gives him headstart on downloading.

D’Anna has a vision in the Temple, but when she downloads back on the baseship, Cavil pulls the plug. Cylons agreed to put entire model line of Threes into deep freeze because one of them defied their consensus. They decided Threes are defected. And Cavil doesn’t want D’Anna to share the secret of Final Five. It’s ironic that Three who introduced the idea of deep freeze in Downloaded because she wanted to put Caprica Six and Boomer there, is the one who gets ice-boxed in the end.

Gaius is taken prisoner by Tyrol, and Caprica Six, who came with Athena, gets the same treatment.

Supernova gives humans idea where to go look next for Earth - a nebula that formed from another supernova that happened when the 13th tribe went to Earth. Also, Helo remembers that Kara painted a mandala that looks just like Eye of Jupiter in her own apartment on Caprica. Kara’s special destiny is brought up again.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: The Noid

In the annals of history, there are few villains as twisted, depraved, and evil as the Noid. The Noid is almost more than a simple villain when you really stop to think about it; the Noid is representative of the cruel, uncaring fate, crushing failure, disaster, and worst of all, the ruination of a perfectly good pizza. Could there be anything more terrifying?

Frankly it was only a matter of time before I covered the Noid. From his sickening modus operandi to his utterly nightmarish design to the fact his name sounds extremely similar to “void,” it’s only natural I would want to cover what is easily the most compelling and fascinating villain in all of fiction. Looking at the Noid will make you wonder: Did the Russo Bros. get  inspiration for Thanos from him? Did Geroge Lucas try to write Vader’s backstory to mimic the Noid’s downfall? Is the Noid the inspiration for Lisa from The Room? 

Perhaps these questions and more will be answered beneath the cut, but make sure you are eprepared, for the Noid is a villain unlike any other.

Actor: The Noid was given his distinctive voice and look from actor Pons Marr, who was the suit performer for Theodore Rex among many other interesting roles and puppeteering jobs in 80s films. There was truly no better man than the one who had to stand beside Whoopi Goldberg in a dinosaur suit to voice the manifestation of evil.

Motivation/Goals: As the physical embodiment of all the challenges in getting a pizza in thirty minutes or less, the Noid has one of the most heinous motivations of all time: to prevent your pizza from arriving hot and fresh. There really are few villains so vile and depraved as to try and deprive people of the joys of fresh food, so the Noid truly stands out among the serial killers, dictators, supervillains, and psychopaths I’ve previously analyzed as a truly despicable being. I mean, it’s one thing to commit numerous war crimes, raze entire countries, blow up planets, and commit genocide; it’s another thing entirely to ruin someone’s PIZZA! 

Personality: Considering the above description, it should be obvious that his personality and goal are intertwined. The Noid exists solely to ruin your meal, and so his personality is cold, cruel, and grating to reflect that. He truly is the avatar of ruination, the embodiment of your worst fears for your takeout, the scion of doomed dinners. And everything he does, he does with a sinister cackle.

Final Fate: So this is actually the interesting part of the story, as there are numerous factors that played into the eventual demise of the Noid. The first factor is the decline of the “30 minutes or its free” guarantee, which was eventually changed to three dollars; many drivers would drive recklessly to avoid having to hand out free food, and so death and injury resulted on a few occasions. Lawsuits came in, and so the “30 minutes or its free” was soon discarded, and the Noid, as the physical embodiment of that honor, received his first major blow.

On January 30th, 1989, the second factor came into play: Kenneth Lamar Noid, a mentally ill man who thought the Noid ads were targeting and mocking him specifically. Noid held a domino’s hostage for five hours, demanding money, a getaway car, and a copy of The Widow’s Son, and even forcing the hostages to make him pizza and a salad; eventually he was captured with no one injured. Police Chief Reed Miller was quoted as saying “He’s paranoid” in regards to Noid, seizing on one of the greatest opportunities a man was ever given. 

Noid was declared not guilty by reason of insanity in court, and spent time in institutions before finally killing himself in 1995. Though the company has denied this incident has anything to do with the Noid vanishing from advertising, this is blow number two in my book, because let’s be honest here, there’s no way they could easily live down that connection in the mind’s of the general public.

And as for blow three? Adam West killed him. Truly Mr. West was the greatest hero America ever saw if he could defeat such a monster with nothing but his bare hands.

While the Noid has had a few cameos in Domino ads in recent times, he is certainly not quite as prominent as he once was in their advertising.

Best Scene: Adam West killing him, obviously. Not only is such a menace finally being put down so satisfying to watch, but it’s classic Family Guy funny moments material (as anything related to Adam West on that show was, he was consistently good).

Of course, if you really want to go with the official Noid canon, you can really just pick and choose any of his commercials. All of them have very similar structures, and all feature ethe Noid’s cartoonish brand of mildly inconveniencing supervillainy. They’re all 30 seconds or less, so I’ll cheat and lump them all together.

Best Quote: After that one-two punch with Adam West winning the day, let’s give the quote to him: “Perhaps it was the Noid who should’ve avoided me.” Not only is it absolutely badass, especially coming from the mouth of a former Batman, it’s kinda a given I’d give it to someone who could talk seeing as the Noid is a babbling, voiceless weirdo. I mean, unless you really want me to say the best quote is “[incoherent Noid giggle].”

Final Thoughts & Score: I’m sure you’ve guessed by now that this is an April Fool’s joke; the Noid is a pizza mascot from the 80s, for crying out loud! What is there even to analyze here? Well, actually, you’d be surprised. While the Noid himself is a pretty stereotypical mascot character, he did have something of a cultural impact, not to mention there’s no denying that something animated by Will Vinton’s studio has to carry some sort of charm to it.

The most interesting aspect of the Noid is probably his downfall more than anything, especially since he took down the “30 minutes or it’s free” notion with him. That whole guarantee in the first place is easily one of the most disturbing and soul-crushing capitalist society guarantees imaginable, and considering it could only lead to rushed work on everyone’s part to accomplish and disappointment all around no matter the outcome, it’s shocking it stuck around for such a long time as it is. It’s really not all too shocking the Noid vanished after that went away. And while the company has said otherwise, it’s hard not to believe the whole incident with Mr. Noid actually did lead to the character being absent from advertising for decades.

But all controversy and downfalls aside, the Noid is a cute, weird, quirky mascot character through and through, and even with all the joking aside, a malevolent little gremlin who exists solely to ensure your pizza is ruined is kind of amusing as far as incredibly petty villains go. I have to say I have a soft spot for this weird little guy.

The Noid earns himself a nifty 6/10, which is three fourths of your average pizza, which is pretty cool. I really can’t justify any lower because his history is too fascinating and it’s not that he’s awful or anything, but I also can’t justify higher because, well… he’s an advertising mascot with very little personality to speak of.

While I think it is utterly bizarre that such a character was used to advertise pizza, his quirky design combined with the downright strange history to the character really help make him an interesting figure. His cartoonish antics in the commercials only help endear me a bit more to him; he has an old-school Looney Tunes vibe to him. I kinda wish Dominos would bring him back, especially in a day and age where mascots seem to be less important. I think the world would appreciate some more Noid zaniness.

[ginnyzero]

The Importance of Being Organized (for me.)

I am a note taker. This started in high school and continued through college. I was the one known for having the notes. If someone was missing something, I probably had it. This is also true of my writing. I mentioned in my post about my writing process that it involves a lot of note taking. I get a lot of ideas all at once and so I write them down. This serves the purpose later I can focus on writing rather than stumbling about wondering where I was going with the story and bemoaning the loss of funny dialogue. The more notes I write however, it seems like there is this law of entropy, meaning the messier things get. And after a while messy grates on me. I can only let mess go so long before I have this horrible urge to wash something!

Or in this case start cleaning up the notes and copy and pasting into new files and breaking things down on what happens when and, oh God where did I put those notes on the characters! Eep! But it is important for me to clean my notes up and put them into different files so that later when I need to know something, I can find it without too much digging.

Notes are especially important if you are writing something longer. Say, more than a book. If you’re only writing one book in that universe, then you won’t need as many notes as say, a person who is writing a series of two or more books. If you’re writing a series it is twice as important to be organized than someone who isn’t. I want to say by the fifth to seventh book of a series, if not sooner, I can tell if a writer had an idea for the entire series in advance or if they are writing without a clear end goal in mind. Sometimes writers have clear end goals in mind and don’t have the middle portion figured out enough to make the end goal make sense when they are done. So, they write their series and by the time their done their original ending no longer makes sense, but they use that ending anyways.

This is a good way to anger the readers. You don’t want angry readers. They might not want to read anything else by you because you’ve disappointed them.

So, as I’ve said, the very first very good reason to be organized is so you don’t forget anything.

Look, not everyone has the time or the willpower to write ten thousand words a day which means fifty thousand words a week and that is a small novel. That takes a lot of fortitude and really, sounds exhausting. No matter what your writing level or skill, it takes time to write something. And with time comes this terrible thing called long term and short term memory. Things pass out of our heads and since no one has cracked the hippocampus like in Meet the Robinsons, we are forgetful people! Even if you are writing fifty thousand words a week, somewhere in the blur of words it is easy to forget a key scene or an important detail. Notes are your friends!

The next best reason to be organized is to have a roadmap of where you are and where you are going. Now, I understand that there are writers who cannot literally write this way. They have characters and some sort of vague idea of a plot and they write and write and write and hopefully at the end of whatever they are doing they end up with a story at the end of it. When I try to do this, I end up with a plotless mess and a story that never ends up going anywhere. It tends to be boring. If I’m organized, I know where the character is now, where I want them to be and hopefully, how I’m going to get them there. (Or at least some cool core ideas for stories that will test their patience and skills.) Otherwise I feel like I’m floundering around in the dark with my hands in front of me hoping that I bump into something that tells me where I am!

The roadmap isn’t set in stone. But it does exist enough so that hopefully where I end up still remains logical and hopefully, I’m not set on my ending idea, that if the road map changes, I can let it go for something that makes sense. Really, the roadmap is there to keep me from deviating too far from what I’m doing and throwing something really strange into the mix.

Stories can change over time. What you feel is right when you first come up with the idea, may change by the time you’re on the second or third draft of the idea. Notes give you a sense of history. This is where you were at the time and this is where you are now. Notes allow you to see clearly what has changed and at times whether or not that change is for the better.

Between drafts and over time, as the ideas and the story changes, there will be scenes and ideas and plots that you toss because it just doesn’t fit with the concept anymore. It happens. But the great thing is if you have notes about those ideas, they might fit a new concept better or become a story of their own. Maybe the discarded idea will take a life of its own and create a whole bunch of new stories to play with. Drat those squeaky toys of doom! They keep breeding!

Notes can also help writers from repeating themselves. Writers tend to be drawn to certain ideas and themes that are important to them. However, if a writer keeps using the same idea over and over and over again, it is liable to become boring. No one wants to read boring! Notes can help a writer see if their story is too similar to their previous stories and make changes!

The other thing notes do is create a level of consistency. (I know, I just said repeating is bad.) This is particularly important when you’re writing a series. Character histories need to be decided on and kept the same throughout the books. Personalities need to be kept consistent and when changes happen, they should be natural results of what is going on in the series. People, places and objects need to be described. A lot of times they end up being described in the book and then later, they might be described a completely different way. It is important to keep everything matching to each other. A lot of author’s solve this problem by copying and pasting their important dialogue and exposition phrased into another document and then copying and pasting that into each of their books when appropriate. This is a viable strategy that saves time!

Speaking of time, having notes saves the writer time for when it comes to doing the very important thing, writing. Having notes allows the writer to focus on the task of telling a story. This means, there is a time for taking notes and a time for writing. If the writer focuses too much on making, sorting and organizing their notes, they’re never going to get any writing done. So, there has to be time for the writer to say, enough is enough, let’s get writing! (Sort of like this blog post.)

Notes are very useful tools for the writer, but they are just a tool to be applied in limited quantities. It is important that notes be organized so the writer can find the information they need when they need it. Notes help the writer remember things, where they are going, keep track of changes in a story, come up with new stories, keep the writer from repeating themselves, create consistency in the work and saves time.

For those writers who don’t use notes, outlines and so on and just sit down and write. I applaud and respect you. It just doesn’t work for me.

[ciathyzareposts]

Missed Classic 67: Ballyhoo (1986) – Introduction

Written by Joe Pranevich

Infocom careened into 1986 on the backs of two contradictory pieces of information. Sales had been up in 1985 for an all-time high of $11.5 million, and yet the company was falling apart. The Cornerstone flop was a distant memory, but the winter layoffs that followed were not. Marc Blank, founder and co-developer of the Zork series, Deadline, and Enchanter was out. So was Al Vezza, the CEO. Mike Berlyn had left even before Fooblitzky had been released with the graphics team as one of the layoff casualties. Infocom was in active negotiations with Activision for a buyout, although how much of this was known during the development of Ballyhoo is unclear. What is clear is that the announcement of Activision’s intent to merge came out within days of Ballyhoo’s release. This would be the last game ever released by an independent Infocom.

Into this maelstrom entered Jeff O’Neill, a first time Implementor. Originally from California, he came to Infocom with a background in journalism and a smidge of computer science. He put those skills to use doing QA on Wishbringer, Hitchhiker’s Guide, and likely other games. He also subbed in as a writer for the The New Zork Times, the company newsletter. Unlike many of the other Imps, Jeff has kept his privacy post-Infocom and so we know less about him than other team members. We’ll see his touch here and in Nord and Bert (1987), plus he was one of the contributors to Bureaucracy (also 1987). I look forward to getting to know him through his games.

($11.18 in today’s dollars.) 

Prior to this marathon, I knew very little about Ballyhoo. Like many of the games in the first Lost Treasures set, I dipped a toe in twenty-five or more years ago, but I recall not “getting it” and ending a few turns in. My confusion may have been because Ballyhoo is listed as a “mystery” game, the successor to the Sergeant Duffy series of games (Deadline, The Witness, and Suspect) but without (as far as I know) continuing that series directly. I don’t recall even what the mystery was. The 1995 re-release recategorized the game as a “comedy”. Is it a comedy mystery? Or a mystery comedy? To make things even more confusing, it was initially developed as the third “junior” game (after Seastalker and Wishbringer), but that was abandoned before release. So how does this game play and feel? I’ll find out soon enough.

The manual opens with a souvenir program for “The Traveling Circus that Time Forgot”, an old-fashioned circus that my character has recently attended. We also have a balloon, a copy of our ticket, and an ad for an old cure-all in the box. I attended a Barnum and Bailey circus once as a kid in the 1980s. Even then they were old-fashioned; I remember pushing past protestors handing out anti-animal act fliers before we were in the door. That may have soured my opinion of the circus and I never went to another one. Thirty-odd years later, touring “three ring” circuses like that are gone, replaced in part by the upscale Cirque du Soleil and similar acts.

The program is mostly concerned with the story of Thomas Munrab (“Barnum” spelled backwards) and his players. He was a graduate of Harvard Business School, but invested in the circus even when everyone else thought it was stupid. The program says “backwards vision and superlative genius” but it is not difficult to read between the lines:

Sounds so simple yet it is hard to imagine the tremendous quantum of resistance and awesome challenge that would confront this would-be modern day P. T. Barnum. Immediately you would hear the voice of the naysayers. their prickly criticism intended to burst your balloon deriding such “pipe dreams” as low tech and low brow, logistically impossible, financially unfeasible. And imagine the embarrassment of getting laughed out of the Harvard Club!

As Infocom was a MIT shop, I expect there is more than a hint of cross-town Harvard/MIT rivalry in this description. Beyond their “stable genius”-level founder, the circus consists of:

Glorious Gloria, a trapeze artist

The Amazing Genatossio Brothers (Carlo, Giuseppe, Antonio, and Stefano), a hire-wire act

Gottfried Wilhelm van Katzenjammer, an animal tamer

Comrade Thumb, a 28-inch tall clown

Chuckles, Mystic Malcom, and other clowns

Rimshaw the Incomparable, a fortune-teller

Tina, the fat lady

Andrew Jenny, a “strange union of a man and a woman in one body”

I have no idea how much of this will matter, but I take notes anyway. As I look at this, I am particularly struck– and worried– by how Tina and “Andrew Jenny” will be portrayed in the game. Both are included as examples of “circus freaks”, but obesity isn’t quite as funny as it used to be. I am also worried about transgender stereotypes and the possibility that Andrew / Jenny will be depicted in poor taste. Then again, the program says that he/she is split right down the middle with an Andrew-half and a Jenny-half which is not the way any real kind of transgenderism works. I’m going to accept this as a period piece rather than worry too much immediately on the game as a commentary on non-binary genders or gender dysphoria.

Music to soothe the savage beast, eh?

The rest of the program includes a brief history of traveling circuses, connecting them to events going all the way back to Roman arenas. It also introduces circus slang which may come up in the game. Filling out the rest of the manual is a standard Infocom text including sample commands and recommendations for new players. The only new material there is that we will be solving a kidnapping plot. Sounds like fun!

Before I begin, I was already clued in to a major problem in my version of the game: the Lost Treasures set is missing a page (above) from the program which is required for copy protection. I found the page online, but it means I already have a good clue to one of the puzzles if the answer is there.

There doesn’t seem to be too much more to say about the game. Let’s play!

The circus came to town!

As the game begins, we are a disgruntled circus-goer that just finished watching a lackluster performance. And yet… we also have an “irrational desire to steal the spotlight, defy death, and bask in the thunder of applause”. Do we take over the circus when we win? Or is this just to suggest why we might help a circus to solve a mystery?

There’s not much to do except look around. I double-back into the Big Top as other spectators are just about all gone. It wasn’t a “three ring” circus, but rather a two-ringed one. A ring to the west that I cannot access is for animal acts, while this one is for the acrobats. The hire-wire is still set up with a safety net below. I can even climb up to try to cross it! This appears to be a puzzle as I have to cross slowly and “lean” to the north and south to keep my balance, but I quickly fall into the net below. I may have a reason to do this later. For now, I’m just impressed that none of the guards or ushers or clowns or anyone else didn’t stop some idiot (me!) from climbing up there and nearly getting himself killed.

I file out with the crowd and make it outside. In the main “connection” between the circus events and the Midway to the east, I find a small person wearing a general’s outfit. That must be Comrade Thumb, the world’s smallest man. Quick searching suggests that he is based on Francis Joseph Flynn, aka “General Mite”, a diminutive 19th century circus performer. He’s struggling to drink from a water fountain, but it’s too high for him. I help him up and he thanks with a salute before walking away. I cannot head east as I need to have a special ticket to access the Midway through a set of turnstiles, so I follow Thumb to the south instead.

Just to the south, Thumb is joined by Chuckles, another clown. They arrive at a second set of turnstiles. They say something to a guard and they are allowed to pass through. The guard does not let me through so I cannot follow them. I wander west instead and find myself in the prop tent where I hear voices approaching from outside. I do what any sensible person would do: hide. Munrab and a Detective arrive and speak to each other in whispers. The detective actually asks why they are whispering and Munrab breaks the fourth wall by reminding him that they are in a mystery. Munrab explains that his daughter Chelsea has been kidnapped, but he neither suspects anyone in the circus nor trusts the local police. He hands over a photo to the detective. After a brief exchange, they both leave the tent and I can come out of hiding. The game has begun for real! I don’t think the detective is supposed to be Duffy, both because he doesn’t seem to be competent and because he is a PI rather than police. I’ll see if we can get a better look later.

Our 27th President. He was the last President to appoint a non-lawyer to the Supreme Court. 

My first step is to map out the circus grounds as best as I can to look for clues. Rather than a blow-by-blow, this is what I found:

The prop tent contains a stand-up figure of President Taft and a gorilla suit. I grab them. 

West of the Big Top entrance is a discarded clown mask and a caged-in passage for animals. My gut says that we’ll have to traverse that at some point.

Off to the east is a white wagon, the circus’s main office. The door is locked, but there is a discarded fiberglass pole out front. I grab that too. 

There are signs throughout leading to the “egress”, a famous Barnum gag. An egress is, of course, an exit and not a female egret.

Returning to the main tent, I find that the grandstands have been moved and there is now a gap I can walk through to get under the seats. I discover a ticket in the refuse below. I’m not sure why I don’t have one already since I did just watch the performance. 

While in the Big Top, I try the tightrope walk again. Why? I have no idea. But this time, I drop everything except the fiberglass pole and start to climb. That’s when I notice: the safety net has been removed by the workers. I neglected to pay attention before, but quickly restoring shows that it was just removed by a “roustabout”, a laborer. Crossing it with the pole is easier than I expect and I do not have to use the “lean” command at all. At the top of the far-side platform, I find a child’s helium balloon. I grab that for another ten points.

Leaving the tent, I use my ticket to enter the Midway but it doesn’t work. I check out the ticket from the packaging and discover that I had to poke out one of the holes to specify whether I am male or female. Will that come up later? Does this game have a gendered sequence? I punch out the blue dot and put the ticket in the turnstile and this time it lets me through. Once on the Midway, I spot the detective getting drunk on the job. He’s been binging on that “cure-all” that the feelies advertise, an 18% alcohol concoction. I don’t think Duffy would do that!

My map at the end of this post. Not a ton of rooms.

That gives me access to a few more places:

A menagerie where an elephant blocks my way east, plus a locked cage to the west. I can also scoot around the elephant’s tent to find another locked cage. I can hear that the elephant is chained up and unhappy. 

“Jennifer’s Boudoir” which is Andrew Jenny’s trailer. Andrew and Jenny are there, two halves of one person. They must have an interesting tailor! There is a spiral staircase leading upstairs but they will not let me through. 

Rimshaw’s tent is north. He looms and looks mysterious at us. 

The Fat Lady is at the eastern end. I grab a stool from her room. I should say “rooms” since she spans two of them. It’s funny, right? She’s also listening to the radio.

With that, I have explored everywhere I can explore. I need to start solving puzzles to proceed. My ticket says that it comes with three free sessions with Rimshaw. I will try there next.

All in all, this is a fun little game but I’m not sure that I “get” it yet. It’s not a time-boxed mystery like the three previous games, but I am not sure exactly what it is. There is the passage of time, but I expect that it is tied to my score. I hope that is the only similarity this game has with Cruise to a Corpse! (My god, I hated that game.) I can’t help but think that a game about the end of magic (Spellbreaker) followed by a game about the sad decline of an art form (Ballyhoo), all while Infocom was preparing for their own end… isn’t a coincidence. Let’s see how this plays out.

Time played: 1 hr 10 min Inventory: stool, clown mask, pole, ticket, gorilla suit, balloon, President Taft, $12.81 Score: 20 of 200 (10%)

Since this is an Introduction post, it’s time to guess the score! The current average score for an Infocom game is 39 points. Since we have never seen O’Neill work before, there’s not much guidance that I can give. Good luck!

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: There’s a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no CAPs will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. As this is an introduction post, it’s an opportunity for readers to bet 10 CAPs (only if they already have them) that I won’t be able to solve a puzzle without putting in an official Request for Assistance: remember to use ROT13 for betting. If you get it right, you will be rewarded with 50 CAPs in return. It’s also your chance to predict what the final rating will be for the game. Voters can predict whatever score they want, regardless of whether someone else has already chosen it. All correct (or nearest) votes will go into a draw.

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/missed-classic-67-ballyhoo-1986-introduction/

[felinisfeloney]

Judith’s Outfit Makes Sense

So as someone who draws and has worn Judith's outfit from Tales of Vesperia I have to say that her design is actually fascinating and practical in some regards. And since meta dissecting is something I do on a minutely (is that a word? spell check says it’s a word) basis I figured I’d talk about how Judith’s design work in comparison to other characters with similar designs. 

So let me get the elephant in the room out of the way: “I know that Judith’s design is very much a for fanservice outfit”. I’d be blind not to know this, but in Judith’s defense, her outfit in context of the game and everything makes a lot of sense. 

For one Judith is by all accounts running around in her underwear. Trust me when I say that she’s essentially wearing a bra, a jacket, at most sports shorts like I did, and a skirt. Wearing that cosplay is a weird experience because you feel like you’re walking around in practically nothing. It also didn’t help the fabric we made the top out of was shit and stretched even with bias tape, so I was constantly gluing it down to myself. Note to any cosplayers Yaya Han fabric is shit and had we read the label instead of just looking at the color we’d have just cut the straps off a bra. So yeah, Judith is in her underwear and when you consider the why’s it adds up. Just before joining Yuri, Judith was wearing heavy armor that was most likely a form of plate armor and likely extremely hot on the inside. Now, I could totally get behind the idea that Judith decided that she wanted some relief, so she put on nothing but a jacket and a clip-on skirt underneath. I say clip on because with how the skirt is structured on Judith’s body that’s the most practical way for it to hang off.

So why a jacket and clip skirt? In all honesty, it’s probably to keep her from chafing under the armor in her armpits and to hide you can totally see all of her ass without the skirt. Seriously, without that skirt, I would be walking around in just my underwear and all of my roommates knew that, so they happily supplied me with extra pins. So, Judith was wearing plate armor for protection at the start of the game that even she admits is hot and not easy to move around in. Discarding it to just walk around in her current outfit makes perfect sense when you consider that.

Another thing that seems absurd but it’s actually practical is her shoes. So funny thing, I measured how high the heels on Judith’s boots are and if Judith is 5′9 and the average width between your eyes is an inch than Judith if following standard measurements is only wearing at most 3-inch heels. Not that tall actually when you consider that most of my heels are 4 or higher. The heels are also really thick too which means that they won’t sink in the mud when Judith walks. Also, from experience, I can say that sometimes running in heels is easier than running in flats if you don’t normally wear them. You also have to consider that on the battlefield Judith relies on having height and length on her side as a lancer. The front of her shoes are also pretty wide and the boots are clearly made of cloth from the way they bunch meaning that they move well and are comfy. I spent a good day finding an ideal base for my Judith shoes and I can safely say what I came away with met all those criteria and those shoes are comfy as fuck.

Another often overlooked detail that really says a lot about Judith that most of you forgot- she has a knife. Yeah, when drawing her you have to remember that Judith has a strap for her knife on her leg that’s in open view. It’s something you could easily miss, but signals to anyone paying attention that she is beautiful, but she also is prepared for anything. Yes, we never see the knife in action, but its very existence means that Judith knows how to use it and the fact that it’s never drawn highlights her strength.

Compare this design to someone like Myuria from Star Ocean the Last Hope. Myuria is wearing an almost identical outfit in terms of pieces but the difference between why her outfit is tasteless and Judith isn’t is one simple thing. Context. Myuria is a woman whose husband has recently died and is a mage out for revenge, but she is written to be the fem fatale of the party and it doesn’t work because we’re given no reason to believe she actually likes being flirty. Seriously, she just lost the man she loved, and I never once believed she actually liked flirting with Edge. Not to mention SHE’S THE MAGE. Funny thing about outfits like that is that if I can genuinely believe the character would wear the outfit on a battlefield and not die I can be forgiving. Let’s compare Myuria to another tales mage who is equally known for her sex appeal- Raine Sage from Symphonia. The funny thing about Raine is that her outfit is overall very bulky and not that physically appealing in the traditional way. What makes her have sex appeal is not the outfit it’s how the characters around her refer to her. Zelos constantly remarks on Raine’s sexiness and so do a lot of other characters. But, her outfit is conservative, light, and covers her goddamn body because she’s a mage and mage’s need to move for quick spell casting and need as much protection as clothing can offer. These same statements can be applied to Tear from Abyss as well as Lailah from Zestiria. They don’t need overly sexualized outfits to emphasize their beauty because the world around them already does that. Myuria in this context has an outfit that makes zero sense. Yeah, it offers mobility, but zero safety. Her outfit is appealing for the sake of appealing with her trying harder than needed to be sexy just to fill in a checkbox when it’s not needed. 

With Judith, her personality is more than sexy. She’s cunning, playful, sometimes silly, caring, and so much more. She isn’t about her boobs and the game makes a point of not focusing on it unless it's to show Judith’s confidence in her body and how she has fun teasing boys. Judith also is a lancer. A fighter that needs to be light on her feet and move quickly in battle. So not wearing heavy armor works for her and is believable.

I also want to mention how physically Judith differs from other Krytians. This came from researching for my fanfic Lowell where I figured I should look at a variety of Krytians for a sample base for eventual spoilers in the story. Funny thing if you pay attention to the hair color and antenna length/width of most Krytians you’ll find that Judith stands out as an abnormality among them. What stands out the most is the antennas colors. Most antennas are actually a solid color and tend to be cool pastels that are somewhere between purple and blue except for Khroma who’s antennas are interestingly a lime green. Judith’s stand out as they have a gradient to them as well as are longer than any of the other Krytians we see. Now male Krytian models tend to have very thin and short antennas that stop around the waist and females are bit long and end nearer to the hips and are thicker. Judith’s in comparison are huge and go down to her calf. I’d like to think this means that she might be even more of abnormality then she lets on. Considering how the party reacts to the other Krytians and most are actually dressed almost as light as Judith I have to wonder if they did notice that Judith has abnormal coloring and appendages. 

This is pure headcanon but I’d like to believe that because Judith is so physically different and was from Mt. Temza that perhaps Temza Krytians are sort of like a sub-race of Krytia. Like the difference between Wood Elves and High Elves kind of thing.  

The point I’m trying to ultimately make is that we often bash fanservice designs because they’re shallow and meaningless but when you actually stop and dissect a lot of them they make sense if the character is actually written as a character. I know some people like her but Myuria is designed as a trope. This principle is basically what sets a show like Kiss Him Not Me apart from Dance With the Devils. In Kiss Him, while all the interests are a trope the manga makes a point of giving them personalities and expanding on the trope they are given. Subverting it or validating aspects. Devils just throws tropes and since this is what they are and there’s nothing else there other than a pretty face. Now, both are entertaining, but for very different reasons. One is compelling and complex with a story that truly draws you in as well as writes a protagonist who has a personality outside of being a cardboard cutout of a vagina... the other is an entertaining train wreck where literally every choice is a bad choice and has some of the dumbest songs. 

Again, both work but for different content. The ultimate thing to remember is do you want people to actually focus on the character? If so, then you actually have to give reasoning and validation for the design. Sure, sometimes it’s okay to just say you wanted to do something just because, but then as a writer, you need to flesh them out. Otherwise, it’s cheap and is just a passing façade. Which again can also be fine. Sometimes you don’t actually need to flesh out a character entirely and we often forget that because it’s drilled into our heads that everything has to matter. But, that’s not an actual rule and is more of a literary/fictional bias we’ve built up for how a story must be structured. It’s okay to not follow those rules. Hell, sometimes it’s okay to say fuck all to grammar and start a sentence with ‘and’ because it feels like something an inner monologue might have. Do what feels right and remember why you do it. 

That’s honestly the best writing advice I think you can get.

[orionsangel86]

1) Hey Saz, this is the person from Tink's long-ass 5-parter ask. This is going to be even longer. I'm on anon because of shyness above all things but I am willing to message you off anon if you want me to do so! I saw what you wrote about that ask and I agree.... to the most point. All the 'characteristics' of Destiel that differenciate it from other ships that you listed were actually applicable to some the ships I was talking about, especially Johnlock. -->

--> 2)The other ships, yes, you may be right, but for Johnlock I felt even more wronged intellectually when it crashed to the ground than I think I'll feel if the same thing happens to Destiel. I'm going to sound like a Johnlock shipping troll, but I'm not, I ran away from the mess of a fandom it became post-season 4. So bear with me. I really can't explain what my experience was at the time if you aren't familiar with tjlc and what the pre-season 4 sherlock fandom was like. -->

-->3)But let me assure you that it was extremely alike the spn/destiel fandom right now. I want to point out the similarities of the fandom and the ship but that would basically mean me explaining why Johnlock should have been canon, and I don't think you are here for that. So let me just point out a few things. By the end of the honest-to-god fanfic-y 3rd season, the GA were taking notice of it as well, to the point where, yes, the show is being called the worst queerbait ever even to this day.

--> 4)It frankly deserves it. And it was 2017.... we thought it was due fucking time. Guess it wasn't. When looking ay bibro blogs I can't help but be reminded of Johnlock antis. At least when that was a thing, you know, because you can't be an anti of something when it turns out you were right. We made fun of them, because how the fuck can you see jealousy at weddings, literally killing for the other the day they meet, -->

--> 5) having something secret to say that they can't bring themselves to say even after the other's death, being broken over the other's death TWO YEARS LATER AND ON THE DAY YOU FUCKING PROPOSE TO YOUR GF, prefering the other over your string of girlfriends, counting the texts a woman sent the other, COMING BACK TO LIFE AFTER LITERALLY FLATLINING BECAUSE THE OTHER IS IN DANGER, and, you know, constantly making both of them have shitty relationships and be unsatisfied romantically.... -->

.... and read it all as platonic? The show literally falls apart if you take away Johnlock... sounds familiar. You know, one of the writers for Sherlock is gay. So I believed in him, after all gay writers won't queerbait, how could they? (turns out they could.)......But I digress. I won't blame you if you just glossed over what I ranted above. Actually some of the reasons I'm still holding out hope for Destiel is 1) How atrocious the last season of Sherlock was, worst than Supernatral at its worst. 2) The sense that everything is coming full circle in this season(which we didn't get, btw, in even the last season of Sherlock). 3) Misha fucking Collins. And you know, although i heatedly ranted above in response to your response, I did it only because I wanted to justify what I spent near three years on. I didn't want to leave you thinking that a ship like this didn't exist before, because in my opinion, it did. So sorry. I was being spiteful.About the 'Greatest Love Stoty Ever Told', which was in fact the big fandom tagline for Johnlock as well....... I think I'll wait and see. If it is endgame, then I agree that it really is the greatest love story ever told. And I also agree that the show seems to be going that way

Hi Nonny, 

So this is all in relation to this post and I think that the easiest way to answer this is to say to anyone still doubting, including nonny, to just read the various replies and reblogs on that post, because the answers are perfect. 

Also nonny I know we have spoken in private already and you said that you were feeling better after reading the responses on that post as well so I won’t go into too much depth here, but I still wanted to post your asks in case there are still people out there feeling the way you do.

This is going to be my opinion on the matter, which, of course, is just that. There are many many people out there who were greatly upset by Sherlock and I feel for you all. Its not fair what happened and what that show put you through. Your feelings and your views on the matter are 100% valid and real and nothing that I say here is trying to contradict that. You saw a love story between those characters. That interpretation, like any interpretation of a text, is real and never let anyone say you were wrong. Johnlock still exists within the text of that show, just because it didn’t end with a kiss or a love confession doesn’t mean that it isn’t a valid reading. 

I started watching Sherlock before I ever got into Supernatural. When it came out in 2010 I LOVED it. My film student lizard brain picked up on the Johnlock subtext pretty much straight away and aside from some very brief thoughts of “ooh that would be a different spin on it” I didn’t pay much more attention. I continued to watch Sherlock second season in 2012 and again I noticed the subtext, but at this point recognised that it was all done for humorous purposes. I never thought they would go there. I didn’t “ship” it because I didn’t even know what “shipping” was at the time let alone thought John and Sherlock were more than friends who happen to get mistaken for a couple. That was the gag. It was what made my very typically straight male young brother giggle like an idiot because apparently being mistaken for gay was funny. (It’s not. I hate those jokes. They don’t work outside a Carry On film and I don’t even like Carry On films).

When season 3 came out in Jan 2014 I side eyed the series because I had had enough of the gay jokes. I thought it was getting weird and could see that there was a beautiful bond between the characters that imo was being twisted for cheap laughs. I pondered on whether this Sherlock was in fact in the closet, Were they trying to tell us that he was secretly gay? I didn’t get it because it was never clear enough to me that this was the case and yet they continued to play around with the concept whilst the character of John is off with his fiance. My brother continued to find the whole thing hilarious. It was never taken seriously. My musings on Sherlocks sexuality were pushed aside because it seemed clear to me that the writers were not taking it seriously.

Then over the summer of 2014 I binge watched 9 seasons of SPN. I struggled with seasons 1 and 2, made it through 3, watched 4 and fell in love with an Angel of the Lord. It took me 10 episodes to figure out Cas was gay. It took me a further 2 seasons of umming and ahhing in my own head to conclude that yes,  Dean was definitely Bisexual. It took until 6x20 to realise that this was legit something in the text and not my imagination. It took until season 8 for me to believe 100% that they were going there. (I wavered a bit on that belief in seasons 9 and 10 but season 11 pulled me back and I haven’t looked back since.)

In the early seasons, 4, 5 and 6, I recognised the patterns used between Dean and Cas were the same used in Sherlock. I re-watched Sherlock at some point in 2015 and remember thinking damn yeah they really were shoving the subtext in our faces a bit. But I still didn’t ship it, even though I was 100% shipping destiel at that point. I again pondered Sherlock’s sexuality, had a brief thought of “I’d like to see that take on the story” but again discarded any thought that it would actually be textual in a show that imo seemed adamant in keeping it all about the humour. If they weren’t going to take this characters sexuality seriously, then the story was never going to seriously be explored. 

See if Destiel had always remained the way it was in seasons 4, 5 and 6, then I wouldn’t have any belief that it was going canon. I would probably still ship it (the sexual tension in season 4 was insane) but the idea that it would go canon would have always been a pipe dream. So many shows use the queer subtext as a source of humour. So many shows tease their characters as queer and use homoeroticism for titillation. It delights my idiot brother to no end. I hate it. I think it desperately needs to stop. I have never ever watched an episode of Sherlock and thought that it was doing anything other than just that. (I didn’t particularly like the 4th season though because nothing made any bloody sense and I think they kind of butchered the characterisations - I did say this would all be my opinion though so please don’t take offence).

You say that the show falls apart if you take away the romantic love story and make it platonic. I guess if I was to watch it again I could try to consider that reading, but my own experience watching seasons 1-3 is certainly not from a romantic view point and it all made sense to me. Season 4 didn’t make sense at all, and by the time that was on I was deep in destiel fandom and frequently writing meta, so I DID see the romantic reading in the text and yet still didn’t understand the story. (Again, I stress this is my opinion and is in no way trying to invalidate your own). However, with Destiel, the last three and a bit seasons narratively don’t work without it. I have tried to watch them and ignore every romantic moment, or hint at a romantic love between them, and in doing so, it confuses the fucking plot. I need to sit down and catalogue all the ways seasons 10 to 13 don’t work without destiel to evidence this but it would be a pretty epic job because there are ALOT. 

I understand that you feel that Johnlock and Destiel are similar ships, but my opinion is that they drastically diverted course from each other when SPN went into its eighth season. Since then, there has been nothing quite like destiel in terms of build up and story structure - unless you start comparing it to the straight ships.

Where we are right now, destiel is deeply ingrained into the narrative of the show, and it is never used as a gag. It is never poked fun of in a way that reduces Dean and Cas’s relationship. Something that I believe Sherlock did right up until its last episode. I also 100% believe that the SPN creators and cast have a much greater respect and love for their fans than the Sherlock writers and cast ever did. (I’m not much of a fan of Bendydick Cucumberpatch and I have never been comfortable with Steve Moffat... dunno why the guy just gives me the creeps (then again so does Bob Singer)). They have been so positive towards Destiel recently that I am constantly stunned whenever new media or PR comes out. I am also of the belief that someone as wonderful as Misha Collins who is a champion for the LGBT community and cares deeply about making the world a better place would never ever involve himself in something that if it didn’t happen, would be considered the biggest queerbait in TV history. Breaking the hearts and severely angering millions of fans all over the world. Misha is a very smart man. He knows exactly how much this means to us and what it will do to us if it doesn’t happen. He doesn’t exactly look worried though. He doesn’t ever look like he is guilty over encouraging this ship? He looks like a fucker who knows whats up and can’t wait til we finally get to be in on the joke so he can tweet about it 24/7.

If destiel doesn’t happen, then Misha, of all people.... well... I’d have to rethink my entire opinion of him... the idea is so unfathomable for me, so impossible, it hurts my head to even consider. Did you ever feel this way about BC or Martin Freeman? 

I just can’t believe that the people behind SPN would do that to us, but the people behind Sherlock? Well it didn’t exactly surprise me when it didn’t go canon. The BBC isn’t exactly known for being progressive. It’s known for playing it safe. If Sherlock was on Channel 4 I reckon they would have gone there. The Channel 4 execs probably would have encouraged it from the start. They would have considered it ‘edgy’. 

I know that the CW isn’t exactly the most progressive network either, but its a young network, with a younger demo compared to the grumpy old pensioners who sit and watch BBC every night and complain that their tax payer money shouldn’t be going towards anything other than gardening shows and Eastenders. Soooo I think that has something to do with it too. The CW has a greater chance of pulling something like this off. 

I’m so so sorry that Sherlock burned you. But don’t give up hope on destiel just yet, the factors are all currently in our favour. No two ships are alike, and in my opinion, Destiel is the motherfucking Symphony of the Seas compared to all others. It’s bigger, better, and hopefully, due for launch in Spring 2018.

[sussex-nature-lover]

Monday 6th July 2020 - Dennis part 2, the cast of thousands (OK, just a few)

Link to Part 1

It’s good fun choosing names, but it’s a big responsibility too. Why Dennis? Well the cat needed a name other than THE BLACK CAAAAT. I guess he must’ve had a name at some time in his early life, but we’ll never know what it was, which is kind of a shame, although he had the name we gave him for most of his life.

Through work, OH and I both knew an older gentleman called Dennis and  by personality he was more demanding and precise than the top honours graduate from the University of Precise Things in Precise Land (loose Black Adder reference. Very loose) We knew him for years and he was always the same.

I had a dream about him, the man, one night. I dreamt that he and his wife went Christmas shopping at the Bluewater centre and that he left her to browse while he prowled and inspected the loading bays of all the big stores, like House of Fraser and Marks and Spencer and reorganised them, putting everything to rights, telling them just where they were going wrong and where and how things should be stored properly to his precise standards. It was one of those vivid dreams that stay with you.

When the Black Cat first investigated our kitchen, he was just the same, sniffing at every little thing and giving it ‘ the look’ for all the world conveying ‘That Shouldn’t Be There’ every time something new, like a bag of shopping, came in.

I learned that cats don’t like change much, or for things to be moved, but he was so measured it was funny to watch and ‘that shouldn’t be there’ became his catchphrase. I gather this is something a lot of cats do, but like I said, we’re not cat people.

We felt sorry for him in the very wet and exceptionally bitter winter of 2006 and he really didn’t seem to have anywhere else to be, so slowly, very gradually, he just moved in. We moved his silver food dish just inside the patio doors so he would be sheltered as he ate and put down a blanket if he wanted to make use of it.  The first night he stayed inside was very strange, but he simply got his head down. He didn’t venture into the house beyond the corner of the kitchen door for a long time.

When he was well settled in, he’d do an inspection prowl in the evening, check the other downstairs rooms and very occasionally upstairs, although the one room in the house he never ever entered was our bedroom. The Utility Room became his ‘ensuite’ and he had a hidey home in three spots...behind the sofa in the drawing room, in between two chairs in the sitting room and under the bed in Ms NatureWatch 1’s old bedroom. OH and I learned to live with frequent sneezing and extra vacuuming. He didn’t like the doorbell at all and there were certain people who’d come to work at the house, like the man who services the drainage tank - a very nice man as it happens - but something about his voice would send D into hiding for the whole day.

Just Dennis wasn’t a strong enough name for a cat who had some impressive abilities and so over time it progressed to become Dennis The Amazing Wonder Cat...much more fitting. Sometimes he was here and then, pooft he was gone, or he was back, just like that. Amazing. He was a stealth cat.

Getting to know him better, his back story slowly revealed itself, like Skimbleshanks, Dennis was a Railway Cat and had a similar character, but a much more elevated status, in his previous incarnation as the original investigator and author of the canal and rail guides published under his nom du plume of Bradshaw.

Not only that but it was later revealed that he’d risen to an exceptional rank in the Royal Navy and later been the unique subject of a drive-by Knighting when HM Queen Elizabeth visited Newhaven Port on 31st October 2013, which, coincidentally was Dennis’s 14th birthday (we approximated his age when we first got to know him and designated his birthday, what with being a Black Cat Halloween seemed fitting)

So there we have him, in all his glory, Sir Dennis Horatio Amazing Wonder Cat of Bradshaw, Lord High Admiral of the Fleet. RIP.

Try repeating that twice over the phone to the Vet’s Receptionist.

He was a funny old boy, he hated strangers but put up with me and came to be OH’s great pal. He was very dignified and didn’t like to be disrespected. One time I mistakenly bought cat biscuits for kittens and he wouldn’t eat them, so I cunningly mixed them in with his regular biscuits, only to find he picked every ‘kitten bit’ out and discarded it. That told me! I bought him toys, including a mouse, to play with. He took one look at it and went outdoors, returning a couple of minutes later with an actual mouse. Aaaaaagh. His expression? ‘Call that a mouse? that orange bit of fluff? NO, this is a mouse’ I was firmly put in my place once more.

He never made any mess, never got on any furniture except outdoors - he did requisition empty boxes mind and he was very quiet, just occasionally hissing at the fox and in later years miaowing for a little bit of fuss as he lay by the side of OH’s chair. Otherwise he’d get your attention by stealth, creeping up and sitting silently behind you as you prepared food. He loved a little bit of cheese or some hand carved ham.

He put up with our daughter’s two cats when they holidayed here and two other cats and a kitten which we fostered for quite a while.  Did I say we’re not cat people?

The Dodger and Dennis, inside and out. A kitten who was lost in our garden. Eventually we managed to trace the owner and reunite them

Socks (the only animal we’ve ever had who gained an obvious kind of name, but not an obvious way of saying it) who was abandoned by a family in our lane who moved away. We fostered him for 8 months and I loved him. He was re-homed by a local cat rescue for us. I cried buckets when he left, but he was quite a handful and his presence could be stressful at times for Dennis, not to mention ‘Katoing’ OH when he came in from work.

Dennis (left) and Herbie (Right) - so called because he was found in the herb patch, which is only obvious if you know that fact.

As with the kitten, we looked after Herbie and advertised locally, contacted vets and used word of mouth but no one came forward to claim him. Again, we fostered him and got him vet checked with the help of a local charity and he was eventually found a nice new home.

Herbie

<Massive Tangent because it always makes me smile> 

Miss NatureWatch the Younger, when she was a toddler, got quite upset because she was fancying some ‘Herbie Sandwiches’ and (unsurprisingly) I was having trouble fathoming what she meant. It took quite a bit of working out, but we did get there in the end. Lemon Curd on wholemeal bread - a little treat I could recommend actually. I’d once made these tiny, crustless square delicacies whilst she was watching Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo (or one of the Herbie films anyway and I should point out that they were vintage films at this time) and it was the only way she could think of describing what she wanted to eat again...so Lemon Curd has been Herbie ever since.

Herbie was the only other cat that Dennis had a half decent relationship with,by which I mean he ignored him. Herbie actually managed to have a nap one afternoon on Dennis’s bed while Dennis snoozed alongside. That was quite a triumph.

With Ms NatureWatch’s cats, Dennis was disdainful of the young pretender Mr B, but seemed to have quite a soft spot for Minxy who was an older pure white female and who had the accolade of once ‘kissing’ Dennis on the nose.  RIP Minx, forever known now as Dennis’s Girlfriend. I think he was far too shocked to protest at the kiss, but maybe he quite liked it! Minxy by name...

Dennis was also an animal rescue hero (I’ve blogged this before) when he alerted us to Buster the Hedgehog who was sheltering in the kennel we’d bought for Dennis to use while we were at work. That’s going back to before he stayed in the house while we were out.

What a lad he was and how our hearts broke when it was time to say goodbye. We’d only ever been able to pick him up on a couple of occasions over all the years and his veterinary care had to be house calls and observation, but he was a strong and healthy boy who lived to a good age and brought so much richness into our lives.

That was awfully long but there’s a lot to say In Memory of a Very Important Cat

Amazing. The Amazing Wonder Cat.

Handmade brooch commissioned from Nick Hubbard Jewellery in 2009. Dennis can always be with me.

Hope you enjoyed the read and my tribute to Dennis. Just remember...we’re still  not cat people, well, not unless you count our distant relationship with M Flambeau.

Fox and Flambeau

M Flambeau seen twice yesterday

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