#It turns out that I watched the sequels in the wrong order :v
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#The Trip to Spain#movie poster#Steve Coogan#Rob Brydon#Margo Stilley#It turns out that I watched the sequels in the wrong order :v#But I think that it's actually fine because I would've been very disappointed with The Trip to Spain's ending after enjoying The Trip to#Italy#That ending definitely was... a choice#I'm still left with the feeling that I'm missing parts that would make the experience rounder if I watched them as a series instead of the#film edit
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The Stroke (Marc Spector x Reader)
Author’s Note: Okay, this took me forever to write because I wasn’t sure that I should do a sequel to Domestic Adonis, but then I was listening to a mix Spotify put together and I’m like “okay, yeah, I think I’ll do a sequel.” So, yeah, be kind. And a BIG, HUGE THANK YOU TO @sexyexoskeleton for letting me bounce ideas back and forth and for beta reading! And, also, I saw this gif and my brain stopped for a good 30 seconds so it needed to be used. Also also, I used Google translate for the Spanish, so I apologize if anything is wrong. Enjoy! :)
Suggested listening: The Stroke by Billy Squier
Summary: The beard on the boys looks better every day–your heart already skips when you stare at him, and the beard added a new dimension. Since the boys were willing to do something for you, you decide to return the favor with something *spicy* for them. You have a plan set for Steven, but are in for a pleasant surprise when your boyfriend returns home and Marc is fronting.
Warnings: Fluff, smut (sexy lap dancing, reader being a bit of a Dom, Marc being flustered and turned on, cockriding, P in V sex, creampie), swearing
Other Characters: Steven Grant, Jake Lockley
Word Count: 4,121
“Did I wake you up?” Steven ask as he walks out of the bathroom, still trying to dry his hair with a towel.
“Not at all, hon,” you say with a sleepy smile as you hand him a cup of coffee.
“(Y/N),” he sighs as you let the liquid in the cup warm your hand, his tone letting you know that he knows you’re fibbing.
“I rolled over and you weren’t there. I got worried,” you say softly. “I thought you and Marc got called away in the middle of the night for some heroics.”
Steven reaches out a hand to cup your cheek, his thumb rubbing over the skin of your cheekbone, letting you lean into his touch.
“I’m so sorry, love,” he tells you as you rest your forehead on his.
“Don’t apologize. I heard the water running and I knew it was all alright.”
“I still don’t like that I made you worry.”
Steven leans forward to kiss you, letting you know that he still feels a little guilty.
“You smell good,” you hum, pulling him back into a kiss, letting whatever product he uses on his beard flood your nose.
“I hope so, or otherwise I need to pop back into the shower,” he smirks.
“I mean, if you really want to, you can and I’ll join.”
“But then this beautiful breakfast will get cold,” he hums as he places kisses all over your face and neck. “How about a raincheck on that?”
“Only because I’m a magnificent cook,” you say as you play with his damp curls.
Steven moves to the bedroom and puts on his clothes, quickly changing and joining you back at the table.
“You should be home at the regular time, right?” you ask as you dig into another pancake.
“Yeah,” he nods as he takes another sip of coffee. “Are we going somewhere?”
“No,” you shake your head, trying to keep a smirk from pulling at your lips. “I was just thinking we could order in tonight.”
He hums, the pitch of it telling you just enough to let you know he is confused as to the finer logistics as to how and why the two relate. “That sounds delightful,” he smiles as he checks his watch. “Oh, bugger, I need to get going if I’m gonna catch the bus.”
“Hey, I got it,” you tell him as you stop him from trying to care care of his plate, utensils, and mug. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Love you, darlin’,” he smiles as he kisses you before grabbing his bag and scurrying out of the door.
It looks good—everything looks so good, especially with the makeup and how you did your hair. You know it looks good because you wouldn’t have bought it otherwise. The only problem is getting everything on by yourself. You secure in the last hooks of the bustier and put on the finishing touches, sliding on the matching satin robe just as you hear the locks to the apartment give way to the key.
Right on cue.
“Hey, baby,” you hear Marc’s voice ring throughout our home, the light thud of him toeing off his shoes. “It’s me.”
Okay, so a slight wrench in the plan. Nothing major.
“It’s good to hear your voice, baby,” you call, hearing his footsteps make their way towards the bedroom area. “Wait, don’t!”
“It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before,” he chuckles. “Quite the opposite—I’ve seen you naked many times, many different ways. Sometimes with chocolate sauce and whipped cream.”
“I know, but, just sit at the kitchen table. The chair that’s closest to the mirror,” you instruct with a light chuckle, making sure you remain hidden from his line of sight. “And don’t touch the lights!”
“Okay,” he draws out, and you can hear the skepticism in his voice, but his feet creak along the old wood floors all the same, the chair lightly scraping against the planks as he sits down. Grabbing your heels nearby, you slide them on before you take a few slow steps out of the bedroom and towards Steven’s desk, carefully leaning back on your hands as the robe loosely hangs open.
“Fuck,” Marc breathes, a hazy smile pulling at the corner of his lips, a new twinkle appearing in his eye.
“Ah, ah!” you tut as he starts to get up. He immediately freezes at your gentle chastisement. “You stay right there.”
He does as you command, lowering himself back down as you approach him, closing the tantalizing space between your bodies.
“And to what do I owe this pleasure?” he says as you walk around the chair behind him, carefully dragging your hand along his shoulders as you move to stand right in front of him.
“Well, I figured that since you were willing to try something different for me, I should try to do something different for you,” you hum as you lean forward, so close that your lips almost touch. “Just sit back, relax, and try to control your grabby hands, hm?”
It’s like you can see Marc’s brain short-circuiting with pleasure as he looks at you, his pupils blown wide as he gives you a small nod.
“I need words, baby,” you urge. “No touching. Do you understand?”
“Y-Yes,” he says breathily, a large grin soon spreading across his face. Hearing the need in his voice and trying to regain composure, he clears his throat before giving you a firm nod. “Yes,” he repeats.
“Good.”
Moving away from him, your heels clack along the old wooden floor as you make your way to where your phone is situated on the nearby bookshelf, giving it a few taps from the song you initially had queued up for Steven to change it to one a bit more Marc’s speed. The rhythmic sounds of drums thump through the apartment as you make your way back to Marc. His eyes are wide with a mix of excitement and nerves, taking in small, slow breaths as his eyes brightly look at you. You move your body to the rhythm, the constricting nature of the bustier letting your cleavage move in a more jiggly manner. When the guitar starts, you let your satin robe fall to the floor as you approach your boyfriend. You see his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallows hard, his eyes drinking in every last bit of you that he can. A bright blush burns on Marc’s cheeks as he watches you move for him. His eyes are wide and sparkling—in any other situation, it could be construed as innocent. And while that might be the the case, at least partially, you know the guilty, sinful thoughts that are running through his mind.
As you slowly run your hands down your body as your hips swivel, a flustered, breathy chuckle falls from your boyfriend’s lips. In an effort to hide your satisfied smirk from him— you mean, if he’s already this flustered, he’s in for a real treat— you turn around and let him absorb how you look from behind. Knowing that he has enjoyed the view and you have contained your expression, you whip your hair around as you turn back to him, some small tendrils getting stuck in the creamy texture of your lipstick. You notice him squirm in his seat as a blissed out grin tugs at his lips, which gives you the confidence to get closer to him. Just as he thinks you’re about to make contact with his skin, you bend over, providing him with a frontal view of the slope of your ass and a full view of your over-pushed, barely contained cleavage. You let him take in the sight as you slowly stand, running a hand through your hair as you move over to him, circling around his chair before you sit on his lap. With one hand on the back of the chair, you roll your hips on his, making him inhale a shaky breath and his eyes partially close in delight. Teasing him a bit more, you lightly grind down on him, eliciting a faint whimper from his lips. You feel him shift his legs from under you, and a quick glance down shows that he’s wrapped his feet around the legs of the chair as a way to restrain himself from acting on how you make him feel.
With a smirk, you get up from his lap and take a few slow steps away from him. Your hands weave behind your back, and you can feel his eyes drilling holes into you as he watches you undo the bustier. For as hard as it was to put on, you get it off in an impressive amount of time—the music must be giving you extra confidence. When the last hook is undone, you hold it up with your dominant hand, letting it hang for a moment before you toss it to the side on the old wooden floors. You slowly move your hips, grazing your fingertips along your sides as you extend your arms up to accentuate the line in your back. When you turn back around to give Marc the view of your bare chest, his eyes are so blown with awe and lust, you can’t even see the gorgeous brown of his irises. Improvising from your carefully-practiced routine, you squat in the heels and move your body, running your fingers through your hair when you have been in a similar position on your boyfriends.
Leaning down on all fours, you do your best to sensually crawl along the squeaky floor to where he remains painfully still. You carefully drag yourself up along his body, your nose lightly brushing against the tent in his jeans and up his shirt. You hover your lips millimeters over his before you turn around so he faces your back once more, giving him a more traditional lap dance. You arch your back as you rock your hips against him, and you can hear him sniff the lingering scent of shampoo in your hair. Pivoting once move, you move to face him as your body continues to work, this time running your fingers trough his curly locks. A proper moan falls from his lips before you feel his hands grip onto your hips.
“Fuck it,” he grunts as he picks you up, taking large strides to the bedroom after he can’t take any more of your teasing, his lips hungrily attacking yours.
“That good, huh?” you quip as he moves his lips to your neck, harshly nipping at the thin skin, pulling a mixture of a yelp and moan from you before he throws you down on the mattress.
“The stockings and heels stay on.” His voice his deep and gravely with lust, pushing a harsh kiss against your lips, sliding his tongue down your throat as he removes your panties without even looking, throwing them somewhere behind him. HIs fingers dig into the flesh of your side as he mouths along your chest, his soft lips and hot breath clouding your focus.
“I wasn’t done,” you pout as his lips latch onto your chest, feasting on the supple, fatty flesh, warming your hardening nipple with his tongue, gently tugging at it with his teeth.
“I couldn’t—I needed—fuck,” he growls into your chest, moving to try and fit as much of your other breast into his mouth. Marc takes one of his hands from your waist, harshly grabbing and squeezing the flesh that is still recovering from what his mouth did to it. You writhe under his touch, humming in delight when you feel just how hard his cock is, straining against his pants. A whimper falls from your lips when you feel his fingers move along your slit, a soft grunt joining your shallow breaths as he carefully teases you. “You’re so fuckin’ wet for me, baby. Did dancing like that for us turn you on?”
“Mm, you always turn me on,” you say as you lean forward to try kiss Marc. At the last moment, he dips his head and bites your shoulder, causing your back to arch as he sinks his teeth into you, your pussy involuntarily fluttering around him.
Marc runs his tongue over where his teeth left little imprints, soothing the sting before he buries his face into the crook of your neck, a deep chuckle rumbling from his chest as he marks up the thin skin with clear evidence that you are his. As he creates and soothes a smattering of love bites, you wrap your legs around his waist. When Marc moves to grind into you, you take advantage of the situation and flip your positions on the mattress—a trick that the boys had taught you for safety and defense.
“I told you,” you say, placing your hands on Marc’s chest. “I wasn’t done.”
You lean down and run your fingers through the beard that has grown more luscious on his face—the motivator for the boy’s little surprise. You place open-mouthed kisses on the soft hair before you move to lick behind the shell of his ear, nipping and tugging at his earlobe. You slowly pull away from him, letting your teeth carefully drag over the soft skin. Once you release it, you sit all the way back up on your knees, running your hands up and down his body.
“Will you let me finish?” you ask, your fingers grazing the hem of his shirt. Half of the pads of your thumb graze the cotton, the other half brushing against the soft skin of his abs.
“Y-Yes,” he stutters, his brown eyes sparkling as he gazes up at you.
Twin smiles pull across our lips, and you slide your fingers under his shirt, enjoying the ripples and dips of the muscle below your hands. He lets out a sigh, resting his head back onto the pillow before you slide his shirt up and off of him. With his skin exposed, you lean forward and continue to kiss every inch of him that you can, always going back to his soft hair, scratching your fingers through his curls. As you press kisses down his exposed torso, your hands follow down further. Both Marc and you enjoy your worship of his body, and he grunts when you move your hand to palm through his jeans. He’s so much harder now than he was in the kitchen chair. His moans fill the bedroom, shortly joined by the jingle of his belt as he sneaks his hands between your bodies.
Once Marc gets his belt off, you begin to make quick work of his pants and underpants, getting too eager yourself to try and tease him through his boxers. His cock is painfully red, weeping precum as his dick rests against his stomach, giving you a new idea. Crawling on your knees, you move up, positioning yourself slightly above his hips. Lowering down, you slowly rub your slit along Marc’s length, back and forth, coating him with every last drip of your arousal. Marc’s eyes pinch shut, not expecting the kind of pleasure you grind down on him. With a new song playing on the speakers in the living room, you follow the beat of the music. You let out shaky breaths as he creates the greatest kind of friction against your clit.
“Marc,” you whine softly, your hands moving along you body. One hand settles to cup your breast while the other is in your hair.
“Fuck, you feel so fucking good,” he moans, his hand resting comfortably on your thigh. “You look so fucking—fuck.”
“N-No touching,” you stutter, moving your hand from your hair. Grabbing his hand, you take it and move it up above his head. You grab his other wrist and hold his hands above his head while you continue to grind down on him.
As you lean over him, he lunges forward and latches onto your breasts, his hot breath shooting straight to your core, making the slick between your legs all the more wet. As you move back down, you shift your hips to just the right angle, letting Marc slide into you. He doesn’t expect it in the slightest, unlatching from your chest to let out one of the most erotic moans you have ever heard fall from his lips. When he bottoms out in you, you rest your face in his neck, kissing everywhere that you can while you give yourself time to adjust and bask in the delight on him filling you up completely— you could have very easily kept going, having been so riled up from the evening, but you know how much Marc, Steven, and even Jake enjoy when you take your time like this.
“You ready for me?” you hum. “You want me to move?”
Marc doesn’t use his words, only bucking his hips into you and kissing you hungrily.
“Words, baby,” you kiss along his jaw.
“Yes—move.”
You happily comply with his request, beginning your movements up and down his length. Of course you can’t make it too easy for him to start—he did break the no touching rule a few times. You keep your movements slow, painfully teasing for him to endure, and while it’s a punishment for him, it’s just as much of a punishment for you. Letting go of his wrists, you sit more upright on his lap, bouncing up and down. The way he slides in and out of you sends your head into a spin when his cock hits your back-most wall—if you keep it up, you’ll be coming on him in less than a minute. Changing pace, you go down on him and rock your hips back and forth, riding him like a cowgirl on a mission into the sunset. As you increase your speed, you find yourself leaning back, putting a hand on his strong leg for support. Working on him in your new position, you pick up on a shift in his moans. This change is further confirmed when you feel his hips buck up into you harshly and repeatedly as his hands flying to place a bruising grip on my hips.
“Cariño,” a deeper voice grunts.
“Oh, hi, Jake,” you pant as he rails into you, delighted to see the broodiest of your boys. “What are you doing here?”
“You wear that—do all of this—and expect me not to come out?” he grunts as his pelvis slams into yours at a bruising pace.
“It’s for all you boys,” you whine before he smacks your ass, your skin stinging as the sound lingers in the air.
He grabs your face with one of his hands, smushing your cheeks as he pulls you in for one of the filthiest kisses you’ve ever received—there’s so much tongue involved, it’s like he’s trying to make your mouths one. He sucks on your tongue as he pulls back, but not before letting it go so he can nibble on your bottom lip.
“Mm,” you hum hungrily, leaning in for another raunchy kiss.
“Eres tan jodidamente buena,” he growls as his mouth lips, nicks, sucks, and kisses whatever they can find. “Tan hermosa.”
“Fuck, baby,” you whine as you grind down on his thrusting hips. “Fuck, just like that. Right there.”
Jake’s mouth continues to explore whatever parts of your body it can reach, sending shivers up your spine along with the feelings that he’s already creating in your belly.
“Mierda, fuck,” he grunts as you roll against him.
“That feel good, papi?” you ask knowing full well it does as you lean over and take his face in your hands for a kiss.
“You have no idea, baby.” You catch him clenching his jaw, and you kiss along the tense muscle. “Marc doesn’t like that I’ve cut in.”
“Let him back, and next time you front, we can do this again. I’ll get some new lingerie that you can tear off of me with that beautiful, strong hands.”
A wicked smile spreads across his face before he leans up, kissing you with gusto, his hips halting their assault to your core.
“Te amo, cariño,” he whispers.
“Te amo, mi amor,” you parrot, pressing a kiss to his lips. Once you pull back from the kiss, you can tell that Jake has taken a step back and let Marc back to center stage.
“Hi, babygirl,” Marc draws out.
“Hey, hot stuff,” you smirk.
“You were up to something real good before Jake interrupted,” he muses as his hands trail down the sides of your body.
“Was I?” you ask with a coy smile.
Marc smiles and pulls you in for another kiss, his hands finding home once more on your hips, lightly beginning to rock you on his cock. Taking his incentive in earnest, you wiggle your ass down on him before you begin to bounce once more. The blissed-out expression on Marc’s face lets you know he is thoroughly enjoying it, and his thumb that he snakes down over your clit makes sure that you get to enjoy it just as much.
“Oh, Marc,” you whine. “Baby.”
“I love it when you get like this,” he pants, the tight circles his rubs becoming harder and smaller. “So fuckin’ pretty like this.”
“Just like that, Marc,” you breathe, starting to loose your rhythm as he pulls you closer to your release.
A consistent flow of your whimpers and whines join the erotic echos of your skin slapping together. You barely last for one more minute before you feel that band get a little too tight in your stomach.
“Yeah, that’s right,” Marc encourages, his own breathing becoming more hitched and shallow. “Come for me, baby.”
His words are your command, and you squeeze Marc for everything he is worth. The sheer force of your orgasm makes it hard to keep going, but you continue to rock your hips against his to make sure you get him right where he needs to be. As you begin to come down from your high, you slowly roll your hips as lean forward, running your fingers through his beard as you kiss him. Marc’s needly lips chase yours as you pull back, and you can feel his unspoken confusion as you turn around on his cock.
“Relax, baby,” you tell him as you run your hands along his strong thighs. “It was sweet that you helped me get off, but you broke the no touching rule. Now, you don’t get to watch my tits bounce when you cum.”
Working your hips more, you feel him in a wondrously different way than you have all night, his cock hitting new spots deep within you. You whine with each bounce, and you can hear Marc’s barely contained whimpers as you slide up and down him. Pushing through your over-stimulation, you move your hips faster and grip Marc’s knees for stability. Just as you approach your second orgasm, Marc cries out in the bedroom, his hips jerking to meet yours as he shoots his hot, sticky cum inside of you. Once you have both calmed down, you slide off of him, turning on your knee as you collapse by his side.
“You okay?” you breathe as you run your fingers through his beard and his sweat-soaked curls.
“I’m fantastic. Jake is, too. Steven checked out when you started to ride us, though,” Marc smirks. “His mind was in such a spin from everything before, that was the straw that ended it for him. I swear, he’s gonna blush every time he looks at you now, having seen all that.”
“Was it good?” you breathe.
“What do you mean, ‘Was it good’?” Marc asks, disbelief and confusion in his voice.
“Well, I’ve never done anything like that. Not just the dance, but being that in control. I mean, well, you know I’m not usually like that and—.”
“Baby,” he chuckles, running his hands up and down your sides. “You were so confident and in control, and you looked so happy. It’s a real sexy look on you.”
“Really?”
“Oh yeah.”
“So, it was good for you?”
“That was some of the best sex we’ve ever had.”
You can’t help but blush, burying your face into Marc’s chest as he leans down to kiss your forehead.
“How about I get you cleaned up, hm?” he asks gently has his thumb traces tiny circles into your hip.
“Carry me?” you ask, looking up through your lashes into Marc’s gorgeous eyes, sparkling in the twilight beams streaming into the apartment.
“Of course, babygirl.”
Translations (mostly according to Google):
“Cariño.” = “Darling/dear/love.”
“Eres tan jodidamente buena para mí.” = “You are so fucking good for me.”
“Tan hermosa.” = “So beautiful.”
“Mierda” = “Shit”
“Te amo” = “I love you”
"Mi amor” = “My love”
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Fuck it! Niche Minecraft Youtuber to watch if you like specific Dream Smp Characters! I have a lot of beloved niche Minecrafters I love and struggle to raise attention for so I have decided that I'm finally going to make this list, it’s an incomprehensible list hanging on by threads! but its a list!
Do you like Jschlatt? Do you like Evil, Capitalism, and Drama? Try William Strife! The Corporate Evil Overlord Capitalist with plenty of evil and dramatics a-plenty. One of the, if not the, original Minecraft Capitalist characters! With a hatred of magic, a love of money and tech, and the inability to ever be wrong Strife has managed to craft a hilarious yet oddly engaging parody of Capitalist America. Going strong for nearly a decade you may actually recognize him if you were in the Fallout scene back in the early 2010's for his guides! Strife has done plenty of Minecraft though and it's one of the things he's most known for. If you don't mind long run series mixed with some mod tutorial stuff I highly recommend checking out Solutions in Chaos for his infamously hilarious interactions with one Alex Parvis. Though if you don't have much time or tolerance for long run series his most recent series of Solutions and Order along with Crossroads may be something to enjoy. Or if you just like dick jokes you could just visit his streams, that's always an option as well.
Are you a fan of Wilbur Soot and Karl Jacobs? Do you crave death and rebirth and the horrors it brings but also a multiverse worth of interconnected yet not connected at all stories? Try Lyinginbedmon! Storyteller of a multiverse of themselves and our resident Master of Horror this Fox has dozens of stories and falls from glory to share. Do you wish to watch a Shinto Priest delve deeper into corrupting magics and slowly begin to wonder just how much the gods are hiding from them? Try Yokai Village! Do you want to watch a man trapped in early 2010's Nether struggle to survive and uncover a deeper story then they ever thought was there? Nether Expedition! Do you want to watch a Maid deal with the zombie apocalypse? Try Maid-ing Do! Do you want to watch a banished Werewolf Knight turned mercenary deal with their vampire racism? Knight of Fangs! Do you want to see the life and fall of the Witch in the Woods going from charming if odd neighbor to a betrayed horror monster seeking nothing but vengeance for what has done to them? Chaosville Season 2 and then Witch in the Woods! Or if you want something a bit shorter you can watch a Fae deal with a dragon witcher and strange magics effecting them, there is always the ongoing Clockwork & Memory.
Do you like Eret? Do you like a royal air and a sense of duty? Intense shitpost mixed with intense dramatic moments? Try Kirindave! Admittedly a bit of a weaker connection but that's just goes to show how enigmatic the Storm Sage really is. With a good sense of story telling and the charisma of something you really should not trust Kirin is quite a force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately they haven't done much Minecraft on their own channel in awhile and their content is much more focused on mod exploration along with being an admin of various servers then actual plot. However you will feel when that plot hits, there's a reason their fans tend to portray their character as a god. If you want to learn why you don't mess with the forest, I recommend Minecraft The Hard Way, but if you want a bit more plot in your learning of mods, Sunless is quite a good even if it never got a proper ending.
Do you like Ponk and Foolish? Do you like gorgeous builds mixed with strange yet curiosity inducing lore? Do you like mad science/doctors? Try Lucian V. Ghost! With several series under their belt and the smoothest British voice I've ever heard Lucian specializes in short series with lots of Lore and high production values. With their series Ghost Labs and the sequel and still in-progress Ghost Industries, enjoy videos about strange mods with an immensely hilarious cast. If you want something a bit more SMPish though, Chronobreach and it's on going sequel World of Madness is a great introduction to the strange and morally dubious lore of Ghost Industries. They also have the ongoing series Unlikely Reunion that is nothing but lore, and cool robots.
#kirindave#william strife#lyinginbedmon#lucian v ghost#wilbur soot#jsclatt#karl jacobs#ponk#foolish#dream smp#eret#this post is incomprehensible but i am desperate to get more people to watch some of my underrated favs
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Welllp These Are Books: the June 2021 Edition
I have read a lot of books this month. That should be stated upfront. Just an absolute metric ton of books. Some real good, some not-so good, some inadvertently hysterical. Also, I made that BINGO board. Because, like, you ever have a total crisis of writing-confidence and ignore that potential freakout and the tendency of your coworkers to miss deadlines by reading every free Amazon sports romance you can find? And several full YA series? In one month? No? My experiences are not universal, I understand. Anyway, there’s thoughts and opinions and spoilers under the cut. Everyone read the Once Upon a Con series, I’m begging you.
READ THIS SERIES! PLEASE! EVERY BOOK WAS SO CUTE! EVERYONE IN EVERY BOOK WAS SO CUTE! THE FANDOM STUFF DID NOT GIVE ME SECOND-HAND EMBARRASSMENT!
Geekerella by Ashley Poston Part romance, part love letter to nerd culture, and all totally adorbs, Geekerella is a fairy tale for anyone who believes in the magic of fandom. Geek girl Elle Wittimer lives and breathes Starfield, the classic sci-fi series she grew up watching with her late father. So when she sees a cosplay contest for a new Starfield movie, she has to enter. The prize? An invitation to the ExcelsiCon Cosplay Ball, and a meet-and-greet with the actor slated to play Federation Prince Carmindor in the reboot. With savings from her gig at the Magic Pumpkin food truck (and her dad’s old costume), Elle’s determined to win…unless her stepsisters get there first. Teen actor Darien Freeman used to live for cons—before he was famous. Now they’re nothing but autographs and awkward meet-and-greets. Playing Carmindor is all he’s ever wanted, but the Starfield fandom has written him off as just another dumb heartthrob. As ExcelsiCon draws near, Darien feels more and more like a fake—until he meets a girl who shows him otherwise.
The Princess and the Fangirl by Ashley Poston Imogen Lovelace is an ordinary fangirl on an impossible mission: to save her favorite Starfield character, Princess Amara, from being killed off. On the other hand, the actress who plays Amara wouldn’t mind being axed. Jessica Stone doesn’t even like being part of the Starfield franchise—and she’s desperate to leave the intense scrutiny of fandom behind. Though Imogen and Jess have nothing in common, they do look strangely similar to one another—and a case of mistaken identity at ExcelsiCon sets off a chain of events that will change both of their lives. When the script for the Starfield sequel leaks, with all signs pointing to Jess, she and Imogen must trade places to find the person responsible. The deal: Imogen will play Jess at her signings and panels, and Jess will help Imogen’s best friend run their booth. But as these “princesses” race to find the script leaker—in each other’s shoes—they’re up against more than they bargained for. From the darker side of fandom to unexpected crushes, Imogen and Jess must find a way to rescue themselves from their own expectations...and redefine what it means to live happily ever after.
Bookish and the Beast by Ashley Poston In this third book of the Once Upon a Con series, Rosie Thorne is feeling stuck—on her college application essays, in her small town, and on that mysterious General Sond cosplayer she met at ExcelsiCon. Most of all, she’s stuck in her grief over her mother’s death. Her only solace was her late mother’s library of rare Starfield novels, but even that disappeared when they sold it to pay off hospital bills. On the other hand, Vance Reigns has been Hollywood royalty for as long as he can remember—with all the privilege and scrutiny that entails. When a tabloid scandal catches up to him, he’s forced to hide out somewhere the paparazzi would never expect to find him: Small Town USA. At least there’s a library in the house. Too bad he doesn’t read. When Vance’s and Rosie’s paths collide, sparks do not fly. But as they begrudgingly get to know each other, their careful masks come off—and they may just find that there’s more risk in shutting each other out than in opening their hearts.
— I cannot possibly overstate what an absolute delight this series was. Cute and sweet and adorable. Like rot your teeth sweet with romances that my high-school self would have swooned over. (I would have been so in love with Darien Freeman as a 16 year old, it’s not even funny. Also, I would have been obsessed with Starfield.) Let’s be honest, my current self swooned quite a lot. Reading these books genuinely felt like a love letter to fandom. To the good and bad and trashy parts of it, and it made my heart swell thinking about these fictional kids and the community they found and how much they learned and then they FELL IN LOVE and, like, not to sound like an after-school special, but: THE REP IN THESE BOOKS?!?? HOLY S H I T. So good. So goddamn good. And not, like, shoved to the side. Like, Jess falls in love with a girl. And it gets its swoon-worthy moment as much as anyone else. Plus, bi-librarian dad who wears suspenders??? Sign. Me. Up. Twisting the fairy tales into the stories also worked really well in my opinion. Honestly my only gripe was that Darien found a cell phone number in the white pages, but, like, everything else was a joy. Please read these books. I promise they will make you smile.
IN WHICH I CAN NEVER TURN DOWN A BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
Cruel Beauty by Rosamund Hodge Betrothed to the evil ruler of her kingdom, Nyx has always known that her fate was to marry him, kill him, and free her people from his tyranny. But on her seventeenth birthday when she moves into his castle high on the kingdom's mountaintop, nothing is what she expected—particularly her charming and beguiling new husband. Nyx knows she must save her homeland at all costs, yet she can't resist the pull of her sworn enemy—who's gotten in her way by stealing her heart.
— Yo. YO. Everyone in this book was horrible! And it was wonderful! I figured out the twist approximately point two seconds after the potential for a twist was possibly introduced and it did not diminish my enjoyment of this book for one second. I am such a sucker for any Beauty and the Beast AU, but this was way different than anything I’d read before and Nyx was a blood-thirsty terror and I loved her. The magic and the world building was fascinating in that I really did not expect Greek gods and goddess, but it was also a welcome turn in a weird, huh, that’s interesting sort of way. And the banter was a-plus, top tier. Even when they were snarking at each other. Especially when they were snarking at each other. (Still a pretty quick turn from enemies to lovers, but I’m willing to overlook that based almost solely on the snark.) Plus, the castle was fascinating. And there were more twists aside from the main twist, none of which I figured out. All of which I gasped over. The end was like—chef’s kiss, fantastic. I would like a novel-length sequel to tell me how everything worked out.
...BUT THE LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD ONE WASN’T AS GOOD
Crimson Bound by Rosamund Hodge When Rachelle was fifteen she was good—apprenticed to her aunt and in training to protect her village from dark magic. But she was also reckless—straying from the forest path in search of a way to free her world from the threat of eternal darkness. After an illicit meeting goes dreadfully wrong, Rachelle is forced to make a terrible choice that binds her to the very evil she had hoped to defeat.Three years later, Rachelle has given her life to serving the realm, fighting deadly creatures in a vain effort to atone. When the king orders her to guard his son Armand—the man she hates most—Rachelle forces Armand to help her hunt for the legendary sword that might save their world. Together, they navigate the opulent world of the courtly elite, where beauty and power reign and no one can be trusted. And as the two become unexpected allies, they discover far-reaching conspiracies, hidden magic . . . and a love that may be their undoing. Within a palace built on unbelievable wealth and dangerous secrets, can Rachelle discover the truth and stop the fall of endless night?
— As much as I loved Cruel Beauty, I was like ehhhh on this one. Which is part Little Red Riding Hood (although that seems like a stretch, honestly) and part The Girl With No Hands, which is a fairy tale I have literally never heard of before. Rachelle was just—sorta whiny? Which, y’know, she was cursed and had fucked up her entire life, so fair, but also...annoying. I kept reading mostly to try and understand what the FUCK was going on with the magic. I like to consider myself a relatively intelligent person who can understand most YA novels, but this one was tough to keep track of. Like, sure, the imagery of the Dark Forest was cool, but also what is a Gladspring? I’m still not sure I know. Also, this kind of dragged in some places. Lots of patrolling the palace (whining about life) and not enough magic-fighting or establishing any sort of relationship between Rachelle and Armand. Which just sort of happened? Amidst, approximately, twenty-four different twists that were admittedly cool, but also felt like they came out of nowhere. Everything that happened in Cruel Beauty made sense. Most of what happened here felt like it was shoehorned in for shock value.
YOU WANT MORAL AMBIGUITY? BOY HAVE I GOT MORAL AMBIGUITY FOR YOU. IN GODDAMN SPADES.
The Firebird Series by Claudia Gray Marguerite Caine's physicist parents are known for their groundbreaking achievements. Their most astonishing invention, called the Firebird, allows users to jump into multiple universes—and promises to revolutionize science forever. But then Marguerite's father is murdered, and the killer—her parent's handsome, enigmatic assistant Paul— escapes into another dimension before the law can touch him.Marguerite refuses to let the man who destroyed her family go free. So she races after Paul through different universes, always leaping into another version of herself. But she also meets alternate versions of the people she knows—including Paul, whose life entangles with hers in increasingly familiar ways. Before long she begins to question Paul's guilt—as well as her own heart. And soon she discovers the truth behind her father's death is far more sinister than she expected.
— Guys. GUYS. These books, oh my G O D. Little known fact about me, but I am trash for cross-dimensional soulmates. The concept of “we’ll find each other anywhere” is one of my favorites, so I was so psyched about these books. And for awhile that’s what I thought I was going to get out of them. But. BUT! What I actually got was something, not totally different, but not entirely great, either. The problem here was that when anyone used one of the Firebird devices to jump dimensions they TOOK OVER THE BODY THEY JUMPED INTO. So, like, that consciousness got shoved to the side while whatever prime!person just took over. Living that body’s life. In a different dimension. And that’s kinda fucked up, right??? Brings in all sorts of questions about consent and morality and let me tell you, guys, this YA series DID NOT ADDRESS A SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Which is also super fucked up!! So, like, Marguerite is just bouncing around dimensions taking over people’s bodies and lives and leaving this, frankly, trail of destruction in her wake. And as if that wasn’t enough!!! In the second book Paul’s soul gets, like, split and she’s got to round up the pieces through dimensions, meeting all sorts of Pauls who are occasionally kind of shit people and he eventually just, like, CANNOT COPE. Seriously, I could not stop reading these. Partially for the moral ambiguity. Partially because I could not figure out why Paul loved Marguerite. Also, capitalism was the ultimate villain. AS IT SHOULD BE, REALLY.
CREEPY FAE WERE KIND OF CREEPY AND THAT’S NOT BAD, BUT LIKE MAYBE THIS WASN’T A GOOD BOOK?
An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson Isobel is an artistic prodigy with a dangerous set of clients: the sinister fair folk, immortal creatures who cannot bake bread or put a pen to paper without crumbling to dust. They crave human Craft with a terrible thirst, and Isobel’s paintings are highly prized. But when she receives her first royal patron—Rook, the autumn prince—she makes a terrible mistake. She paints mortal sorrow in his eyes—a weakness that could cost him his life. Furious, Rook spirits her away to his kingdom to stand trial for her crime. But something is seriously wrong in his world, and they are attacked from every side. With Isobel and Rook depending on each other for survival, their alliance blossoms into trust, then love—and that love violates the fair folks’ ruthless laws. Now both of their lives are forfeit, unless Isobel can use her skill as an artist to fight the fairy courts. Because secretly, her Craft represents a threat the fair folk have never faced in all the millennia of their unchanging lives: for the first time, her portraits have the power to make them feel.
— I’ve seen this book mentioned a lot. As good. And it wasn’t not good, but Isobel was pretty goddamn annoying and kind of dumb and a little self-important and I was mostly here for the creepy fae. That was fun. More fae should have antlers and stuff. Everything in this story happened ridiculously fast. I couldn’t believe it was over when it was over.
THE PROSE WAS VERY PRETTY. I’M NOT SURE WHY THE DRAGON HAD TO BE SUCH A MONUMENTAL DICK.
Uprooted by Naomi Novik Agnieszka loves her valley home, her quiet village, the forests and the bright shining river. But the corrupted Wood stands on the border, full of malevolent power, and its shadow lies over her life. Her people rely on the cold, driven wizard known only as the Dragon to keep its powers at bay. But he demands a terrible price for his help: one young woman handed over to serve him for ten years, a fate almost as terrible as falling to the Wood. The next choosing is fast approaching, and Agnieszka is afraid. She knows—everyone knows—that the Dragon will take Kasia: beautiful, graceful, brave Kasia, all the things Agnieszka isn’t, and her dearest friend in the world. And there is no way to save her. But Agnieszka fears the wrong things. For when the Dragon comes, it is not Kasia he will choose.
— Let me just say first off, that this should have been two books. Everything happened so quickly, I swear I got whiplash. That being said, as a heroine, I liked Agnieszka a lot. She was understandably freaked by everything that happened, but once she kind of settled, she didn’t take The Dragon’s shit and that was good because The Dragon was kind of shitty. This is why it should have been two books. Because everything The Dragon did felt like it needed some kind of explanation. Or at least some sort of reasoning for why he was such a monumental bastard. Which is why I was a little confused that Agnieszka was in love with him? He was such a dick, honestly. The last third or so of this book was the best because Novik really does know how to write action and the magic itself was pretty fascinating. (I wish it went into more depth, but I think I’m spoiled by fic and that’s not actually how the publishing world works.) Kasia might have been the most interesting person in this story. Girl went through it and just became a total badass. I loved her.
MARAUDER FEELINGS! MARAUDER FEELINGS! SO! MANY! MARAUDER! FEELINGS!
The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater All her life, Blue has been warned that she will cause her true love's death. She doesn't believe in true love and never thought this would be a problem, but as her life becomes caught up in the strange and sinister world of the Raven Boys, she's not so sure anymore.
— RICHARD GANSEY, MY BELOVED. What a dweeb. A self-sacrificing, sorta sad dweeb. When he wrapped his jacket around Blue, my heart exploded. I think I spent the last fifteen or so chapters with disconcertingly wide eyes and possibly my hand over my mouth. Still not entirely sure why a Welsh king was in Virginia, but I loved it. Was real glad he was there. As promised by that one book rec list I read months ago, the Marauders vibes of these books were off the charts. It was a weird story with lots of weird things and I hope Mr. Grey gets to be happy one day and that Ronan and Adam make out some more eventually. I think they’ll both feel a lot better if they do. Like, about the world as a whole. Has anyone read the Ronan spinoff series? Should I read the Ronan spinoff series?
OK, THIS WASN’T THAT BAD, ACTUALLY
To Love Jason Thorn by Ella Maise Jason Thorn... My brother's childhood friend. Oh, how stupidly in love with that boy I was. He was the first boy that made me blush, my first official crush. Sounds beautiful so far, right? That excitement that bubbles up inside you, those famous butterflies you feel for the very first time--he was the reason for them all. But, you only get to live in that fairytale world until they crush your hopes and dreams and then stomp on your heart for good measure. And boy did he crush my little heart into pieces. After the stomping part he became the boy I did my best to stay away from--and let me tell you, it was pretty hard to do when he slept in the room right across from mine. When tragedy struck his family and they moved away, I was ready to forget he ever existed. Now he is a movie star, the one who makes women of all ages go into a screaming frenzy, the one who makes everyone swoon with that dimpled smile of his. Do you think that's dreamy? I certainly don't think so. How about me coming face to face with him? Nope still not dreamy. Not when I can't even manage to look him in the eye. Me? I'm Olive, a new writer. Actually, I'm THE writer of the book that inspired the movie he is about to star in on the big screen. As of late, I am also referred to as the oh-so-very-lucky girl who is about to become the wife of Jason Thorn. Maybe you're thinking yet again that this is all so dreamy? Nope, nothing dreamy going on here. Not even close.
— Ignoring the fact that this was almost blatant self-insert, this was a mostly good, occasionally trashy book with brother’s best friend and the one who got away tropes. Which, as we know, are my life’s blood. (Plus, surprise, fake marriage that isn’t really fake?!? Ok. OK!) My only eeek moment was when Olive got super drunk and wanted Jason to like—consummate the marriage and he was like, No Olive, you’re drunk. And then they ended up doing everything except having full-on sex, which felt a little creep and a lot sketch and then it was never mentioned again. Also, Olive needs to find some better friends, God.
EMERSON COD VOICE: HE’S STAAAAAALKING YOU
Marriage For One by Ella Maise Jack and I, we did everything backward. The day he lured me into his office-which was also the first day we met-he proposed. You'd think a guy who looked like him-a bit cold maybe, but still striking and very unattainable-would only ask the love of his life to marry him, right? You'd think he must be madly in love. Nope. It was me he asked. A complete stranger who had never even heard of him. A stranger who had been dumped by her fiancé only weeks before. You'd think I'd laugh in his face, call him insane-and a few other names-then walk away as quickly as possible. Well…I did all those things except the walking away part. It took him only minutes to talk me into a business deal…erm, I mean marriage, and only days for us to officially tie the knot. Happiest day of my life. Magical. Pop the champagne… Not. It was the worst day. Jack Hawthorne was nothing like what I'd imagined for myself. I blamed him for my lapse in judgment. I blamed his eyes, the ocean blue eyes that looked straight into mine unapologetically, and that frown on his face I had no idea I would become so fascinated with in time. It wasn't long after he said I was the biggest mistake of his life that things started to change. No, he still didn't talk much, but anyone can string a few words together. His actions spoke the loudest to me. And day after day my heart started to get a mind of its own.
— Ok, ok, ok, so I enjoyed the Jason Thorn book, right? Was, like, how bad could this other book be? And it wasn’t bad, but it was patently ridiculous. Let me explain what happened. Not entirely sorry for the spoilers. Jack the lawyer sees that Rose is only going to get the space for her coffee shop from her uncle’s will if she marries someone. She WAS engaged, but the guy split. For reasons no one can understand, especially Rose. She’s sad. She’s spent so much money on espresso machines! Enter Jack the lawyer who one random afternoon is like: HEY ROSE, YOU’RE MOSTLY A STRANGER, BUT I ALSO NEED TO GET MARRIED FOR REASONS I’LL ONLY SORTA EXPLAIN, LETS DO THAT. So they do???? And Jack the lawyer continues to be kinda weird and a little shady, but Rose has got the coffee shop and things are going well. Until! She’s got a leaky brain!!! That’s not a joke. Not a typo. Out of goddamn LEFT FIELD, Rose has got some horrible medical condition, so thank God she got married because Jack the lawyer’s got great health insurance. (this is ROMANTIC) and she’s got to have an operation and he stays with her and sleeps in the hospital chair and her coffee shop is somehow still going strong??? On Madison Avenue??? What sit-down coffee shop on Madison Avenue do you guys know that would succeed? None because it’s not downtown. I digress. Anyway, Rose makes a miraculous recovery, she and Jack the lawyer are now almost in love? At least having a shit ton of sex. They’re mostly happily married. Until, part two! The ex-fiance shows up and is like JACK THE LAWYER PAID ME TO BREAK UP WITH YOU. To which Rose is understandably flabbergasted. She confronts Jack the lawyer who fesses that he’s been seriously crushing on her since they met at her uncle’s Christmas party. She doesn’t remember this. He does. BECAUSE HE’S A STALKER. So, he knew about the will stipulation with marriage BACK THEN, which is why he used FIRM RESOURCES to investigate the ex-fiance and found out he was a con man, using Rose with plans to basically steal all her money. This infuriated Jack the lawyer because he thought Rose deserved better and then proceeded to basically con her himself, just in a different way. With marriage! He told her he needed to get married to show he was a family man to make partner. THAT WAS A LIE. He didn’t need it at all. He just—wanted to marry her??? To help her??? What a psycho. She leaves. He continues to lurk outside the coffee shop. They make up. No one mentions the stalking. The end.
I KEEP GIVING HELENA SECOND CHANCES AND SHE KEEPS...NOT DESERVING THEM
All In Series by Helena Hunting Sometimes I need an escape from the demands, the puck bunnies, and the notoriety that come with being an NHL team captain. I just want to be a normal guy for a few weeks. So when I leave Chicago for some peace and quiet, the last thing I expect is for a gorgeous woman to literally fall into my lap on a flight to Alaska. Even better, she has absolutely no idea who I am.Lainey is the perfect escape from my life. My plan for seclusion becomes a monthlong sex fest punctuated with domestic bliss. But it ends just as abruptly as it began. When I’m called away on a family emergency, I realize too late that I have no way to contact Lainey.A year later, a chance encounter throws Lainey and me together again. But I still have a lie hanging over my head, and Lainey’s keeping secrets of her own. With more than lust at stake, the truth may be our game changer.
— Last year I read a hockey romance by Helena Hunting that was very cute and traditionally published and she’s got a bunch more free Amazon books that, for some reason, I keep downloading and reading and they continue to be absolutely ridiculous. That first one was a not-so-secret accidental pregnancy (as previously discussed ONE TIME without a condom mention and bam pregnant) but the second one with Rook’s sister was actually pretty cute. I’m not sure why they all called him Rook. Almost all these series have at least one book with someone recovering from an injury and they inevitably fall in love with their physical therapist. So, that one was pretty ok. None of these, however, were quite as entertaining as (wait for it) QUEENIE AND KINGSTON. WHOSE FRIENDS AND TEAMMATES ALL CALL HIM KING. QUEENIE. AND. KING. Gag. I read it anyway. At least 99% of that decision was based solely on the fact that the story started just after King found out his sister was actually his mom. How am I supposed to stop reading THAT?!? I ask you. Highlights of Queenie and King’s romance included: him calling his mom/sister MOMSTER, Queenie being secretly married this whole time, WITHOUT KNOWING IT, his strawberry allergy that flared up because she’d had a strawberry milkshake and then GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB, her dad finding out they were dating because he was the GM of the team and saw that his starting goalie was having a MASSIVE allergic reaction, Queenie’s eventual ex-husband getting engaged to someone who previously tried to self-inseminate to trap Rook into a relationship (I am not making this up, I swear) and then when he found out that his fiancee’s kid wasn’t actually his, he got into a massive fight and earned a 20-game suspension. THAT’S A QUARTER OF AN NHL SEASON. Tom Wilson got fined five thousand dollars for practically killing Artemi Panarin on the ice! I did not read the last book in this series because it was MORE ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY and because it was Queenie’s dad and King’s mom and that meant they’d share a sibling. Which is where I draw the line, guys.
THERE WERE SEVEN BOOKS IN THIS SERIES! EVERY SINGLE ONE HAD TO HAVE A SCENE WHERE THE DUDE UNDERSTOOD THAT PERIODS WERE A THING???? LIKE THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE SOMEHOW?!?!
Hot Jocks Series by Kendall Ryan I've never been so stupid in my entire life. My teammate's incredibly sweet and gorgeous younger sister should have been off-limits, but my hockey stick didn't get that memo. After our team won the championship, and plenty of alcohol, our flirting turned physical and I took her to bed. Shame sent her running the next morning from our catastrophic mistake. She thinks I don't remember that night—but every detail is burned into my brain so deeply, I’ll never forget. The feel of her in my arms, the soft whimpers of pleasure I coaxed from her perfect lips…And now I’ve spent three months trying to get her out of my head. Which has been futile, because I’m starting to understand she’s the only girl I’ll ever want. I have one shot to show her I can be exactly what she needs, but Elise won’t be easily convinced. That’s okay, because I’m good under pressure, and this time, I’m playing for keeps.
—I read all of these. All. Of. Them. They were exceptionally quick reads. Every single one had a copious amount of sex in it and a very weird, apparently required scene, where the dude had to be like I’M NOT SQUICKED OUT BY PERIODS AM I NOT THE ULTIMATE EXAMPLE OF MASCULINITY?? My favorite one was Grant and Ana’s, though, because it was so goddamn absurd I cannot believe someone wrote it. Basic gist was that Ana was dating someone on Grant’s team (he’s the captain, natch) but the guy was a dick and abusive and so one night Ana decides to leave, but she needs someone to help her and WHO DOES SHE TURN TO??? That’s right, reclusive captain Grant. Who’s spent the last few years watching his teammates marry-up and start families and he’s so jealous, but he can’t say anything because he’s a stoic MAN™. So he takes Ana and her dog (of course she’s got a dog) back to his super swanky bachelor pad and she just sort of...stays there? Video of the boyfriend accosting her at her job gets leaked and the boyfriend gets sent to the AHL which is not really how it would work, but fine. Naturally, Grant and Ana hook up. It’s emotional. Vaguely romantic. There’s no GODDAMN CONDOM. So, she gets pregnant. But, of course. Except! She doesn’t know if it’s dick boyfriend’s or Grant’s. Because he’s the male lead in a free sports romance on Amazon, Grant is the MOST understanding. He wants to help Ana. He would like to continue having sex with Ana. This is ready-made happily ever after. Only Ana’s like...eh?? She doesn’t want it to look like she bounced from one hockey player to the next, but also she sorta did and she kept telling Grant she just wanted to be friends, only to have sex, like, three chapters later. Then she just moved out! Just moved out. Seven months pregnant. Moving out. With her dog. Of course, this is a free sports romance on Amazon, so eventually she moved back in with Grant. Once she realized independence wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. And because he left practice to be there when she had the baby. Oh! And she got a DNA test after. To see whose kid it was. Grant ripped that ‘ish up. Just ripped it up. Which is cool, I guess. But, like, you didn’t want to double check? What if that kid has to go to the hospital? Did she put Grant’s name on the birth certificate? What are his parental rights?? Anyway, they’re all set to live HEA when....THE DICK BOYFRIEND DIES. Straight up. No explanation. Nothing. Just Grant tells Ana he’s dead, she’s like, oh wow that’s sad, they send some flowers to the funeral and that’s THAT. I assume this was to close any potential plot holes on the father of this baby, but it was hysterical and I cannot stop thinking about it. Strangely enough, the one where the couple made a secret sex tape in college and then got back together because it got released may have been the healthiest relationship in this series.
#book recs#book rec#book reccs#laura reads books#welllp these are books#i will not apologize for that bingo board#i think this is a highlight of accomplishments#like for me personally
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The ‘E’ Commandments - Calling On You (Switch)
Use Me (Intro)
Daddy’s Rules
Sunset
Velvet Rope/ Sequel
Lose It
Summary: Erik wants to teach his girl some thangs…
Pairing: Erik x Black!OC
Genre: SMUT…build up, cool down…there is always some SMUT.
Warning: BDSM heavy…so if that is not your thing, there are plenty of other BP fics for you to read. Since the chapter names include the kink, please feel free to bypass any one that is not your speed. Unless you’re curious and want to learn a few things for yourself…in that case, ENJOY!!!
A/N: I would like to thank the anon that hit me up with the request for this scene. I honestly figured I would probably not update this at all again (it’s been almost a year). But this request sparked something and I was able to get this out. As always I had to add that Delightful touch, but I definitely got what you wanted in here. ENJOY EVERYONE!!!
Imani missed Erik.
It has been a busy few weeks for both of them; they were lucky if they got a solid 30 minutes to talk or video chat. She looks down at her phone, at the last communication she sent to him, a 'Good Morning' text at around 9 am before her first of multiple meetings for the day. It was now 9 pm, and she was just noticing his 'Miss you' text from noon. She sighs deeply as she rolls her shoulders back, cracking them slightly. Imani sets her phone down, picks it up, opening the conversation again, and sends an 'Are you up' text.
She shakes her curls free of the top bun; she put up in the morning. She grabs her robe and pads across the floor of her apartment to her wine cabinet, pulling out her favorite merlot. Phone in hand, she settles on her couch with the bottle and a glass. She just turned to a Law & Order rerun when her phone chimes. She looks at it, hopeful that Erik has some time for her. She throws the phone down.
"Stupid work emails. I left an hour ago; there is no need to bother me anymore tonight." She groans aloud. "Fuck this." She looks at her calendar, takes a big gulp of her wine, and shoots off another text. Changing the channel to one of those all music networks, she lets some early 90s R&B sooth her as the wine takes hold of her.
Erik missed Imani.
For all the work he was putting in on this project, he felt like he was out on another overseas mission. His phone was useless for anything other than work, and frankly, he was over it. He was over everything that did not include having his baby girl in his arms, on his lap, in his bed, under him. He stares at the laptop on his legs. He is sitting up in bed, putting together the final touches to his weekly report and the presentation for tomorrow. His phone chimes; he looks over at it and groans — another work email.
He continues tapping away as his phone continues to go off. Okay, that can't just be work. He leans over to his nightstand and grabs the phone off the charger. His frown transforms when he sees Imani’s name on the screen. She must have just got off work and saw his text from earlier. He quickly scrolls through her messages and looks at the very last one, 'When are you free, Daddy? I need you.' He shakes his head. She knows what she is doing. He saves and closes the documents on his laptop screen; then sets it aside.
Imani’s phone rings with a video call from Erik. She sets her glass down and accepts the call. “Hey Daddy!” She sings.
“How’s my pretty girl doing?”
“Better now that I have your attention.” She is moving so much that her robe falls off her shoulder.
“Is that all you want? My attention?” He smirks at her.
She feels herself responding to his voice. The wine has her feeling right, and her man is making Imani that much more aware of how long it has been since she has felt him or that masterful tongue. “Maybe,” she draws out, “I miss you.” She wraps the bottom of the robe around her fingers, “Among other things.”
“Oh? Like what? Tell Daddy.” He leans back on his headboard, moving the phone, displaying his studded chest allowing Imani to see the V leading to the top of his sweatpants. He watches her gulp deeply as she prepares her response to him.
"Well, I was thinking about us getting together for dinner," she licks her lips while ogling his body, "and dessert soon. It has been a while, Daddy." She lets the robe fall open and down her bare shoulders. Erik can just make out her hardening nipples.
"Oh, we can definitely do that. My place or yours." He winks at her, and she flushes.
“Your place. That’s where all the toys are.” Her eyes lower as she finishes her thought. Erik closes his eyes briefly as he exhales slowly.
“So, I take it you have something in mind for your,” he raises his eyebrows, “dessert.” She nods her head while looking at the phone. A chime goes off, and then her face drops. "What's wrong, baby?"
“Work. I’m gonna have to go in early to deal with this mess,” she groans. Exhaling her frustrations, “So, will Saturday work for you? I know you are wrapping up that major project.”
He glances at his laptop next to him, “Yeah, yeah. This week should be it. Saturday will be perfect. You gonna let me have my way with you?”
She smiles up at him, “When have you ever had to ask that Daddy? I am yours.”
“My girl! Now, why don’t you get some sleep and I will see you Saturday night." He blows her a kiss through the screen. She turns her cheek, so it lands there, and he laughs.
"Goodnight Daddy." She blows him a kiss; catching it, Erik places it on his chest. She giggles at him.
"That will have to do until Friday. Goodnight baby girl."
Imani jumps up, grabbing the wine to put away. She hums No Sleep by Janet on her way to the kitchen. Skipping back to her room, she takes off the robe and throws herself onto her bed. Three more days and she will be in his arms again.
Erik plugs his phone back up and grabs his laptop. They need to wrap this shit up before Friday. He has plans and does not want anything to go wrong.
--- Saturday Afternoon ---
Imani held a mini spa day at her place, pampering herself in preparation for what is about to go down tonight. She is sitting down on her bed, applying her favorite whipped shea butter that smells like cocoa to her skin from head to toe. She knows Erik loves it on her. She jumps almost dropping the container when her phone goes off. The volume was higher than she remembered setting it.
She reaches for the phone seeing Erik’s face on the screen. “Hey Daddy! Are you ready for me?” He is quiet on the line, and she looks at her phone to see if they disconnected. As the silence continues, she frowns up, “NO! NO! NO! Don’t do this to me.”
“I’m sorry baby girl. I wanted this, too. God, you have no idea. But the contractors called an emergency meeting. I am still here and knowing them; they will drag this shit out all weekend."
"All weekend?" She can hear him grumbling on the other end of the phone. She looks at her outfit laying on the bed.
“Yeah, we just broke for a late lunch.” He can hear her whimpering on the other end. “I promise to make this up to you baby girl. Please don’t be mad at me.”
Sniffling, she flops down on the bed, “I’m not mad at you. This just sucks.” He chuckles at her pouting.
"Once this is all over. I am all yours. I plan to take a few days off, and then we can get away. What do you say?" She can hear the desperation in his voice. He hates having to upset or deny her anything, but this can't be helped.
“Yeah, ok.” Rolling her eyes to keep the tears from falling down her face, “I gotta go. Bye E.”
“DAMNIT!” He slams his phone on the table after she hung up.
“You good Stevens?” One of his colleagues walked by his door.
Erik stands up, “Yeah, I just need some fresh air,” he brushes past him. “I’ll be back by the time we need to reconvene.”
“Okay, see you at 4.”
He makes his way to the elevator, pressing the button harder than necessary. “How can I make this up to her?”
--- Two Days Later ---
Imani took the day off from work. She was ready to snap off the heads of all her coworkers who decided that she didn’t have a life on the weekends. She wrapped up anything that could have waited until Monday before sending an email announcing her absence. Turning off the notifications on her emails, she put her phone away and fell into a peaceful sleep.
Monday morning came and went, Imani enjoyed sleeping in and a quiet phone. Took a long relaxing shower, prepared a lovely breakfast, enjoying the sun rising to its highest point of the morning from her balcony. Curled up in her chair, she looked out and thought about Erik. She was still disappointed about what happened to their plans on Saturday.
Imani rubbed her arms as the mid-morning breeze sent chills through her body. She definitely missed his touch. She suddenly stops and drops her legs to the ground. Standing up to stretch, a huge grin appears on her face, and she starts rubbing her hands together like Birdman. She collects her dishes and heads back inside to develop her plan.
It is late afternoon by the time she makes it over to his place. Imani lets herself in and immediately connects her phone up to his Bluetooth speakers. Her sensual R&B playlist begins to play throughout the apartment. She walks over to her bags and puts away all the grocery items. After leaving some long stem roses on the counter, she finds two of his tumbler glasses and places them in the freezer along with some fruit.
She picks up her small travel bag and takes it into the bedroom. She pulls out two outfits and lays them on the bed. Picking up one with a delicate lacy pattern, she grabs her scissors and starts to cut it up. Imani leaves the long stripes of lace from the waistline of the outfit intact. She grabs the scraps of the outfit from the bed, and takes them into the kitchen, leaving them on the counter next to the flowers.
Imani goes back into the room and her bag, grabbing her favorite lavender candles, and places them around the room. She goes into his closet for a hanger and puts her outfit outside the closet door. Taking one last look around, she checks her phone for the time. She goes into the bathroom and takes a shower to prepare herself for the night, and the role she is about to play.
---
It's Monday night, and Erik is at this company dinner, celebrating his team for all their hard work on the project. This shit is finally over, and he can't wait to let Imani know.
Erik looks at his phone. She has been short with him for the last two days, and he does not like it all. He has called, and she answers but doesn't stay on long. His texts get one or two-word responses. He hasn’t heard from her at all today, and that has him worried.
He knows that this is something they have to work through since it has never happened before. As a man of his word, he has been able to keep any date they set up, until now. Erik can't even say she is begging for punishment, because she is still in contact with him like he requested. But he knows that she is starving for attention and he plans to give her that in spades.
Dinner wraps up, and Erik practically runs out of the restaurant to his car. He pulls his jacket off and loosens his tie. On the way home, he decides to drop by her place tonight after washing all this work off him. He opens the door to his apartment and hears music playing. He notices a trench coat on the floor, and a frosty glass of Henny on his countertop as he hangs up his keys.
Taking a moment, he looks his place over. The lights are dimly lit, which is why he wasn't alarmed when he walked in, the sensors kick in after sunset. Imani is here. Nodding his head to the beat, he finally recognizes the song, Calling on You by Jon B. He drops his briefcase and jacket by the door, slipping off his shoes and putting them in the closet. Erik picks up the glass and spots the handwritten note underneath it –
Daddy -
I couldn’t wait any longer. And I think we both need this.
When you are ready, follow the red & black road.
~ Your Pretty Girl
He looks down and past the trench coat observing the wisps of black lace and red rose petals on the floor, leading a path to his bedroom. He takes a nice big sip of his drink and makes his way towards his room. Walking through his living room, he spots a pair of black and pink Adidas slides by his coffee table, a pair of dark blue denim jeans on the back of his couch and a black Strange Music t-shirt at the edge of his hallway. He grins as he picks up the bra hanging on the door of his bathroom, and laughs as he finds her lace panties on his bedroom doorknob.
Opening the door to his bedroom, Erik tucks the panties into his pocket and looks up to find Imani leaning up against his mirrored dresser. She looks up at him over her tumbler, barefoot in one of his long-sleeved button-down shirts. Imani smiles at him and puts her glass down as she finally speaks, “Have a seat and relax.”
“Well, isn’t this a pleasant surprise?” Erik looks around the room, noting the lit candles and the chair placed strategically in the center of the floor of his bedroom. He decides to play along and walks over to the chair. When he sits down, Imani walks over and stands in front of him.
He looks her up and down. His shirt stopped at her knees buttoned all the way to the top, and her hair in a high slick-backed ponytail with her curls in a big puff. He looks from her red pedicured toenails to her thick curvy hips and thighs, ending at her red painted lips pursed together watching him. When Erik finally makes eye contact with her, Imani takes a deep breath as his gaze penetrates her.
Imani knows that she must stay in control if this is to happen the way she wants. She matches Erik's gaze, not backing down from the intensity. He lifts his drink to his lips and winks at her. “You know what. I could use a refill.”
“I’m sure you could, but you won’t be getting one.” Erik raises his eyebrows at Imani’s response. “I only need one thing from you,” she walks around him and whispers into his ear, “Say Yes, E.” Floetry’s Say Yes begins flowing through the speakers. She walks out of the room, grabbing her glass along the way. Erik watches the sway of her hips as she pads across his hardwood floor.
Imani stops at the hallway closet and grabs a pair of black gladiator heels, taking a seat on the couch. Inhaling and exhaling, she tries to center herself. Feeling more relaxed and in control, she stands up after finishing with the stilettos. She continues to the kitchen and refills her glass of Hennessy.
Erik sits patiently in the chair; he hasn't moved since she walked out of the room. His index finger is slowly circling the rim of his now empty glass. Tapping his foot, he observes as Imani stalks back into the room, appearing much taller than when she left. He glances down to see her legs wrapped from knee to ankle with crisscrossed leather straps ending in a 5-inch stiletto heel.
Imani stands in front of him, wiggling her toes, and sipping from her refreshed drink. “Have anything to say?” He gives her a questioning glare, and she huffs at him. “I need an answer, Erik.”
"What's the question, Imani?" She shakes her head and walks over to the dresser, grabbing Erik's riding crop. Leaving her half-full glass there, she walks back over to Erik.
"Who?" Erik looks at the stern look on her face and tries not to laugh. Oh, she really wants to do this. She is now standing with her hip cocked to the left and tapping the riding crop on her open palm.
"Should I call you Miss or Madam?" His voice cracks on the last part, and Imani takes the riding crop and puts it under his chin, lifting his face to look her in the eyes.
"Miss will work just fine." She taps his chin on either side with the crop, "Now, try again."
“What is the question, Miss?”
“Good boy.” She smiles wickedly at him, and Erik feels himself harden at the sight of his innocent girl taking charge.
“Would you like to play with me tonight, Erik?”
“Yes, Miss.” Imani nods and takes the empty glass out of his hands. Erik reaches to take off his shirt, but her hand on his wrists stop him. “No, leave everything on. Keep your hands down by your sides.” She walks back over to the dresser, sets his glass and the crop down. Removing the clicker from his shirt pocket, she increases the volume and changes the song again.
The low rumbling sounds of Skin by Rihanna blare through the speakers. She slowly saunters back over to Erik, circling him as she starts singing the song directly into his ear. In front of him, she unbuttons his shirt as she starts a figure 8 roll of her hips while exposing a deep plunging neckline. Continuing down and mouthing the words to the song, she unveils a cranberry lace teddy adorning her glowing chocolate brown skin.
She maintains eye contact with him during the whole reveal, watching his breathe stutter as she continues her slow and sensual movements to the song. Imani drapes the shirt around Erik's shoulders and moves away from him just as quickly. She starts twisting her wrists at her hips as she rolls her body to the front. Pelvis gyrating in front of Erik, she laughs lowly, watching his hands curl into fists to keep from reaching out and touching her.
Imani spins around and bends over, so Erik has a wonderful view of her uncovered ass. She slowly rolls back up and drops down to the ground. Looking back at Erik over her shoulder, she slowly twerks controlling the movement of each cheek in time to the song. Still bent at the knees, she turns around in a circle, so Erik has a view of her lace-covered kitty. She bounces up and down, opening and closing her legs.
She is looking up as Erik squirms trying to remain still in the chair. She stands up and pulls the lace teddy down one shoulder, followed by the other, leaving her heaving chest exposed to his hungry eyes. She continues peeling the teddy off her body as she rocks her body to the chorus of the song. Stepping out of the teddy, Imani strolls over to Erik twirling the teddy on her fingers and passes it across his face. She observes him inhale deeply and stops behind him.
Leaning over, she lets her naked breasts press into his back as she takes both the teddy and shirt away from him. As the ending guitar solo starts to play, Imani drags her body along his, lifting one leg over both of his to straddle his lap. She feels his shoulders tense up and grabs his hands, putting them on her waist as she grinds onto him. Erik holds her tight but loose enough for Imani to continue her dance on his lap. She leans back exposing her neck, chest, and tummy to Erik. She looks up when she hears him groan loudly underneath her, causing her entire body to vibrate in response.
As the song ends, Imani removes Erik’s hands from her ass where they fell during her slow grind. She unbuttons his shirt, removing it from his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. She slides off of him, looking at the mess she made of his pants with her wet pussy, and the hard pole bulging against them. She grabs his loosened tie, standing him up and leads him to the bed. He sits down at the edge.
Putting her leg up onto his lap, “Take off my shoes.” Erik obediently honors her request, as she tries not to giggle at him following her directions, no questions asked. When he finishes with the left, she hands him her right leg to remove the other heel. As he reaches up to her knee to untie the heel, his fingers linger. "Did I say feel me up?"
Snapping back to attention, Erik looks up at Imani’s smirking stern face and tries badly to hide his grin, “Sorry Miss.” He speeds up his task and puts his hands on top of his thighs when he is done. Desire by Raheem Devaughn begins, as Imani steps back from the bed.
“Very well. Now, get in the center, head towards the headboard.” Erik does as directed, laying down in the center of his bed. Imani looks Erik over, lying still on the bed, hands by his sides, bare naked chest showing all of his scars and his tented work pants. Snickering to herself, she hops onto the bed and climbs over him.
Imani looks down at him, underneath her and smiles. She braces herself with both hands on his pecs and rubs her wet pussy along the scars on his stomach and chest. Forward and back, left and right, and infinity circles. Imani can feel Erik’s body tensing under him as she uses him for her pleasure. She continues moving forward until her pussy is right at his chin, “Open your mouth. Tongue out and no hands.” She lifts her hips, plants her feet and lowers herself onto his mouth, shifting around as his beard tickles her pussy lips.
Imani sets a slow pace as she lifts and lowers herself on Erik's long tongue. Letting her wetness drip into his mouth and down his throat. When she finds her rhythm, she begins bouncing with more force — a few quick up-downs and then a long seat before rising and repeating the cycle over again.
Erik knows that Imani is a creature of habit. Now that she found this pattern, she is going to stay there until she cums. His hands are still beside him, tapping along to the song playing. He can feel her pussy clenching as she drops it on him and gripping his tongue as she moves back up. The next time she sits her ass entirely on his face, he curls his tongue and moves it a bit inside of her. Imani shudders but doesn’t say anything.
He lets her repeat her rotation a few more times uninterrupted until she cums against his tongue. She continues to ride through her orgasm, commenting on him being such a good boy and how happy she is with him. She mistakenly takes a moment to sit on his face again, and he starts licking her slowly, dragging his tongue all along her folds.
"ERIK!" Her knees buckle, and she drops to her knees, grabbing the headboard for support, mouth still on Erik's tongue. He takes full advantage of this new position and starts fucking her with his tongue. Poking in and out of her sopping wet center. Imani catches her breath and drags her pussy along his tongue when it pokes out and drops onto him when he pulls his tongue back. With a firm grasp on the headboard, Imani starts bouncing on his face again, faster and rougher than before. She stuns Erik, who adapts immediately by breathing in deep through his nose when she lifts up.
Imani is slapping her dripping wet pussy hard as hell on his face, and the sounds are bouncing off the walls in the room. They both are moaning and groaning from the intensity. Imani due to the orgasm creeping through her body again, starting from the depths of her stomach and moving out to her toes. Erik loving the sounds of Imani and her fucking his face. She clenches and shudders as her next orgasm rolls over her.
Erik makes his move and grips her hips, holding her down on his tongue as he curls and licks her into a mewling puddle on his face.
“FUCK YOU!” She screams out, as she is hit with back-to-back orgasms from his actions. She tries to ride it out as much as possible, but Erik is not making it easy. She tried to move away, but his hold did not give her any room to move away from his assault on her sensitive folds. "Let me go, boy."
Erik releases his hold on Imani’s hips, and she dramatically rolls over to the side. While catching her breath, she isn’t paying any attention to Erik. Who moves off the bed, and over to the dresser. He takes a long sip of from her glass, watching as Imani closes her eyes and slowly drifts off. He takes that moment to slip the long lace strips off of her wrists and slides her to the edge of the bed on her back. He grabs her hands and ties them using the lace straps; he sets them on top of her stomach. Imani opens her eyes and looks up at Erik, who is smiling.
Imani squirms in her position, head hanging off the edge of the bed and hears Erik unzipping his pants. He leans down to look at Imani’s surprised face, kissing her lips, “You’re welcome, baby girl.”
“No, it’s not –“ Erik dropped his dick down her throat. He pulls it back and runs it along her face, cheeks, and lips then taps it against her mouth.
"Open your mouth and no hands." Imani pouts as he uses her own words against her, and meets Erik’s laughing eyes as he leans forward again, sticking her tongue out as his dick rests on her mouth. "Be a good girl now." He groans as she moves him around with her tongue and wraps her lips around the head of his dick.
Erik steps forward allowing Imani to open up wider and take him in as far as she can. Imani relaxes into the position and runs her tongue along his shaft before moving further up on his dick. Erik watches as Imani lathers his dick with her spit before squatting down and lowering his dick into her mouth.
With her head back and Erik moving further forward, Imani opens and closes her mouth around his dick as much as possible. Erik squats down, Imani inhales squeezing her throat around him. He lifts up, she licks and moves her tongue around his shaft, sucking on the head. Repeat. Erik starts slow, lowering his dick for a few seconds and then raising back up. Soon, he starts moving like he is completing a repetition of squats at the gym.
Imani squirms in place as she takes all Erik is giving to her. He pulls back, “Level Check.” He watches her as she catches her breath.
“One Daddy.” She huffs out.
“Good girl.” He lifts her up and walks her over to the chair, sitting her upright. “Open wide.”
Imani opens her mouth, and Erik shoves his dick in. She chokes up on it a bit, and he pulls back until only the tip is in her mouth. She swirls her tongue around his head and adjusts to taking him sitting up. Holding her mouth open, she takes it as he moves himself in and out. Slowly at first, and then increasingly faster. He does this a few times, and then stops with himself fully seated in her mouth.
“Hold it.” She inhales around him and through her nose, holding the position. He pats her head as he moves back out, letting her catch her breath as strings of her spit on his dick break.
Erik pulls completely out and slaps her face a few times with his dick. Then he starts again, slow strokes in and out of her mouth, gradually moving faster, then stopping fully inside of her. "Hold it." He keeps it in longer this time, watching her gag on his dick and then removing it. "Good girl."
Erik repeats this a few more times. Standing back, he looks down at Imani. Her eyes have teared up, causing her mascara to run. Her red lipstick is smeared across her face and his dick. Drool and spit dropping off her mouth and chin. He throbs harder, looking at the moaning mess that is his pretty girl. He grabs her by the back of the head and plunges deep again.
Holding Imani in place, she takes it all, “My pretty girl, go ahead and accept this thank you all down your throat.” She moans and chokes as Erik cums in her mouth. She swallows as much as she can as fast as she can, and whatever misses runs out of the sides of her mouth dropping onto her naked breasts. Erik finishes, and Imani is still licking all around his shaft, having swallowed everything he gave her.
Erik moves back to regain his balance. “Damn girl, I love you.” She looks up at him, smiling and licking her lips. He goes into his bathroom to grab a towel to wipe him and her off. He leans forward and wipes the makeup and cum residue off her face, before wiping himself down. He kisses her deeply before moving about again.
He picks her up and pulls back the comforter on his bed, tucking her in. He walks out to his kitchen and grabs some water and fruit from the fridge. Bringing them back into the room, he gets into bed beside her.
“You really did have dessert planned, huh?” She turns to face him and laughs.
“You know I burn hot after being with you. Frozen fruit is good for times like this.” He feeds her the fruit and has her drink some water.
"Thank you, Daddy."
"No, thank you, baby girl. Daddy really needed that tonight." She snuggles in next to him.
“Can we do that again soon?”
“What is that?”
"Me taking charge." He looks down at her. "It was entertaining." She giggles at his expression.
“We’ll see.”
“Don’t think I didn’t notice how you reacted to me?”
“Oh yeah,” he starts tickling her.
“Stop it, Daddy.”
“Or what?”
“You’ll make me pee.”
He pushes her away, “You better get outta my bed with that mess.”
“Then stop tickling me and give me cuddles,” she pouts. He pulls her back into his arms.
“I love you, Imani.”
"I love you, too, E."
A/A/N: I just used my current taglist for this story, so if you want to be removed, please let me know. I am open to taking requests for any scenes you want to see happen between this two.
Taglist: @panthergoddessbast @myboyfriendgiriboy @wakanda-inspired @hearteyes-for-killmonger @thememoireeofme @muse-of-mbaku @youcantkillamutant @princessstevens @bakarilennox @msincognito67 @drsunshine97 @youreadthatright @amethyst1993 @dacosmicdame @killmongersaidheyauntie @killmongerdispussy @thatbish27 @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @ljstraightnochaser @mamipeachy @thickoreo @thiccdaddy-mbaku @heyauntieeee @laketaj24 @eemahnee @bidibidibombaclaat @wikiwakanda @hidden-treasures21 @killmongersgurl @goddessofthundathighs @monizzle96 @ajspencer1892 @jayjaydrama @blackpinup22 @almostpurelysmut @wakanda4neva @theesotericqueen
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on lukes moment of weakness and how it is fitting for luke among other comments
Personally I TOTALLY believe that George's Luke would have been VERY similarly to Rian's Luke.
And here is the reason why.... Luke has almost always been George's insert (lucas pronunced luke S ) and it makes total sense for Luke to be "exiled" and secluded away just as George became with Star Wars after the backlash of the prequels. But at the end of it, he comes back and stands up for what makes Star Wars what it is. Which is what Luke does for the Jedi and themes of Star Wars by the end of TLJ. He has learned from his mistakes, atoned for them, found redemption, confronted those he has failed, inspired hope, and learned to show compassion once again.
Now while George may have done it differently, I do believe that Luke being in exile was a metaphor for George's own relationship with Star Wars and its fandom.
www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/ebb4f3/lukes_momentaneous_thought_of_killing_ben_solo/
I know I'm stepping on dangerous territory here by talking about The Last Jedi, and I only do this because I think this is an interesting take on a key moment of the movie. Just bear in mind that I do not intend to make my point-of-view the absolute truth of it. After all, this is just my opinion.
We all know very well how divisive Episode VIII was, with many people pationately hating that movie. One of the main reasons of complaint is the fact Luke Skywalker had attempted to kill his apprentice and nephew, Ben Solo, because he sensed the Dark Side to be too strong in the latter. Luke Skywalker, the only person in the entire galaxy that saw there was still light in Darth Vader, tried to kill his relative. When even Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda had lost all hope Anakin could be saved, Luke helped putting him on the path of redemption, helping Vader turn back to the Light and fulfill the prophecy of the Chosen One. It seems to be an insult that this same character gave up on his nephew so easily and tried to kill him.
I believe things must be analyzed more carefully.
I've just finished marathoning the Skywalker Saga (by the way, I STRONGLY recommend the Ersnt Rister order: IV-V-I-II-III-VI) and noticed something very interesting while watching Return Of The Jedi.
During the final moments of Luke and Vader's duel aboard the Death Star II, we see the young Jedi Knight wants to avoid fighting his father so as not to fall in the trecharous web of Palpatine, who wants to turn the young Skywalker to the Dark Side. Luke is hiding beneath the Emperor's throne. Vader chases him and, through the Force, reads Luke's thoughts to lure him into confrontation:
You cannot hide forever, Luke. Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister! So, you have a twin sister!
In this moment, we see Luke's face and he's completely terrified by the idea Darth Vader found out about his sister. It is something new and Luke fears for Leia's well-being. Also, we hear from Vader's words that he cares a lot about his friends, the people he loves. Vader continues:
Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side, THEN PERHAPS SHE WILL!
Now we have something different. Since he was brought before the Emperor, Luke had been constatly confronted by Palpatine and Vader with the idea of him turning to the Dark Side. When Vader talks about the possibility of that happening to Leia, it's not a threat directed to him, but to someone he loves. In this moment, Luke loses it completly and attacks Vader viciously, totally enraged. The Sith Lord can't stand the power of his son, fuelled by hate and falls to the ground, defeated. In this moment Luke is prepared to make the final blow, but then he hears Palpatine laughing and clapping. This makes him go back to his senses and realize what he's been doing. He then turns off his lightsaber and refuses to kill his father.
"I'm a Jedi, like my father before me" and so on... we know what happens, so let's fast-forward to The Last Jedi.
When Luke is confronted by Rey, who demands him to tell what had happened between him and Kylo Ren, we learn how things unfolded through Luke's perspective:
I saw darkness. I sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined.
In this moment of the flashback we see Luke's hand reaching out to his lightsaber, almost unconsciously. He then proceeds:
. He would bring destruction and pain and death, AND THE END OF EVERYTHING I LOVE BECAUSE OF WHAT HE WILL BECOME, AND FOR THE BRIEFEST MOMENT OF PURE INSTINCT, I THOUGHT I COULD STOP IT.
Here it is again. Like in Episode VI, we see Luke reacting in a similar way by the notion of something posing a threat not to him, but to the people he loves and cares about. Luke feared Ben would destroy everything he cherished, just like Vader had threatened by turning Leia to the dark. And, just like in the OT, it was a passing shadow:
It passed like a fleeting shadow, and I was left with shame and with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose Master had failed him.
I've already written way more than I expected, so I'll just conclude here. I've realized the act Luke commits in the Sequels is the same (or at least VERY similar) as from the OT: he attempted to kill Vader then his nephew, out of fear of seeing what/who he loved destroyed. He repented and managed to stop himself in the act in both situations. And he was ashamed. So, at least regarding this point of the movie, I see the same Luke Skywalker.
(luke had more to lose now then he did before
another example which I saw dont remember where I saw it but I saved the comments unfortunately I didnt put in the links:
edit: (now I remember www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/9a3hdl/)
Luke considered killing Ben for about two seconds in a vulnerable moment
Sort of like he almost got baited into killing Vader by a few mocking words, and cut the hand off his own father in blind rage.
Luke is still just a person. If we've learned anything in Star Wars it's that the Jedi are not superhuman paragons of virtue and perfection, no matter how they might appear to the unwashed masses in the SW universe. They have the same flaws, temptations, failures, etc as anyone else. Yes the Force can help them overcome some of this, but they're far from perfect. Luke could have, and I agree should have grown in a positive way, but it's not impossible or even unbelievable that he didn't. He just had his life's labor wiped out in front of him and blamed himself for it. All those years of finding lost Jedi knowledge and artifacts, being what he believed to be the last Jedi in the universe with the responsibility to restart the order on his shoulders alone. All those lives that he took under his protection and guidance as the Master of the new order, wiped out in one night. Because of him (at least in his mind). Everything he was working towards for years just totally undone in a few hours and it was all his fault.
So he leaves and says fuck the whole lot of it. He lives by himself, stews in his misery and regret, retreats into himself and rejects the most foundational principle of the whole concept of being a Jedi: to help people. He's the most powerful Force user alive and he's wasting away by himself on some desolate rock, swearing off the rest of the galaxy because he thinks that he's a failure, that he wasn't strong or good enough, that he can't win, that it's not even worth it to try anymore, and that even at the height of his wisdom and power, it was all undone, and by himself no less.
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Stuff has changed, I mean he’s quicker to come to his senses. I wouldn’t call that his flaw though. His flaw is one of his greatest traits, his care for his friends and family. It’s a flaw cause it causes implusive actions, lashing out on Vader, leaving Yoda, a single thought that he could stop a horrible fate in Ben.
I personal struggle with a temptation in my life, a temptation to do something my faith says is wrong to do. I may have overcome it some days, but other days, whether the same circumstances or not, I might fall into it. Temptations are a constant battle, not a one and done thing. Flaws are similar, you don’t just grow past a flaw after one instance.
Because a day may come when you will brought face-to-face with that temptation or flaw again, but the circumstances will be different, and it won’t be so easy to overcome.
You mentioned Toy Story in a post, and that’s a decent example when it comes to one facet. Woody might not get jealous when another flashy toy comes along that gets more attention like Buzz did.
A better example of the nagging of a temptation, like Luke dealt with, is in Lord of the Rings. The Ring is a constant temptation to the bearer and those around them. At least by the film, Frodo may have resisted the urge to use it under the tree, but he still was tempted to use it at other times, and it was a constant battle. Same with Bilbo. Bilbo held the ring for 60 years. And the temptation of it held him greatly. He drops the Ring in Bag End, letting it go. If he was viewed similarly to how people viewed Luke tossing the saber, that’d mean he freed himself from it’s grasp and from the temptation to take and use it. We see in Rivendell that isn’t the case for him. He has a moment of wanting to take it back, and even at the end of his time in Middle Earth, he inquires about it, although more innocently curious.
That would be more similar to Luke’s case. To fall to the dark is a constant temptation that Jedi should always be aware of, and if you get close at one point, there’s the possibility that it’ll happen again, and if you aren’t prepared or it comes in a different form, you’ll either fall or get really close.
That turned out longer than I meant it, but I see this idea and..it’s just not the case.
another comment
Just because you get older doesn't mean you necessarily get wiser and better.
Jedi are still people (and some aliens, but you get the meaning), and the prequels (and even the OT) showed that even the oldest and wisest among the Jedi were capable of mistakes and misjudgments.
I think it's unreasonable to assume Luke should have become incapable of making, or even repeating mistakes and succumbing to emotion.
Right because people only get better as they get older and we grow past our flaws and doubts permanently right?
You guys are weird.
Luke overcame that moment of doubt before he almost struck Vader down and you think what ....... Luke got some kind of videogame like powerup where that character flaw would never come back again?
Some of you have a very black and white (boring) opinion on life and human growth.
Spoiler: People have flaws, we don't all overcome those flaws.Your boy Luke is no exception.
Consider what nearly proved to be his downfall in Return of the Jedi: for all the Emperor's taunting about the Rebel Alliance's imminent demise, it was Darth Vader who finally pushed his Berserk Button by discovering that Leia was his twin sister and suggesting that if Luke didn't change sides, he and his master might have better luck turning her. Then, when Luke went berserk, it totally worked: he curb-stomped Darth Vader and still didn't go evil in the end. His father's killing off the Emperor also put an end to a whole lot of the Empire's evil and birthed the New Republic.
Flash forward thirty years, and once again someone is threatening everyone and everything Luke loves, and killing the guy would surely preempt a whole lot of trouble. In his heart of hearts, he doubtless remembers what Yoda taught him about how easy and seductive the Dark Side is, but he also remembers how Yoda's mistake of hiding the truth about his lineage from him nearly brought his downfall. He also remembers how killing the Emperor solved so many problems the way he'd better not try to solve them this time... Well, what's so tempting about that?
Luke had more to lose at this time. He knew what a relatively free, peaceful Galaxy looked like, and had other students to care for besides Ben. Instinctively, he was acting out of concern for them. Luke makes an important point when he gives Rey the truth: it is a split second. Luke is a hero, but he's human. He was impulsive and acted on instinct in his youth, so the fear of Ben turning is enough to push him to the edge for a second.
hopeforben . tumblr . com/post/623000635980333056/theres-a-significant-portion-of-the-fandom-that/embed
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“According to Lucas' son Jett, he spent about a year before the Lucasfilm sale developing a sequel trilogy, which would have continued the saga.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnr18AUym-o
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George Lucas’ Episode VII - https://medium.com/@Oozer3993/george-lucas-episode-vii-c272563cc3ba
George Lucas' Ideas for His Own Star Wars Sequel Trilogy - https://io9.gizmodo.com/george-lucas-ideas-for-his-own-star-wars-sequel-trilogy-1826798496
STAR WARS: The Original Plans for the Sequel Trilogy - YouTube -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1dM9qFe4p0
https://ibb.co/jvph85c
"In late August 2012 Star Wars fans from all around the world gathered in Orlando, Florida for the sixth official Star Wars convention, Celebration VI. The lineup was strong despite the live action movies, always the brightest and biggest stars in the franchise’s galaxy, coming to an end seven years earlier. Though he was not scheduled to attend, series creator George Lucas was there. Publicly, he was just there to make a surprise appearance during the panel for the animated The Clone Wars TV show. But privately he was there to talk to original trilogy stars Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher. They were brought to a conference room away from the convention floor where George broke the news: he was working a new Star Wars trilogy and wanted them to reprise their iconic roles."
[Disney didn't buy Lucasfilm/Star Wars until October 30th of 2012. This meeting occurred months before the sale, and at that point, the sale couldn't be assured.]
[Now there is some speculation as to why Lucas made the treatments of his ideas for his Sequel trilogy if he was considering selling, but it should be noted that Jett Lucas, George Lucas's son has stated that his Father [George] had been working on his Sequel trilogy for an entire year before this.]
When George decided to make a new trilogy, he moved quickly. He reached out to old friend and all-star film producer Kathleen Kennedy sometime in the first half of 2012, hoping to bring her on as co-chair of Lucasfilm.The two then approached screenwriter Michael Arndt about writing the entire trilogy around May.
This means this was already being talked about and definitive actions taken for the creation of his Sequel trilogy in the first months of 2012, which could have been almost 10 full months before Disney bought Lucasfilm in October of 2012.
The design team, or “Visualists” as Rick Carter would call them, would meet with George Lucas on January 16th at Skywalker Ranch, where he would be shown art of Luke Skywalker, the Jedi Temple he had exiled himself to, and the training of Kira. This appears to be his last involvement with the film.
Phil Szostak, author of The Art of The Force Awakens and The Art of The Last Jedi, revealed that the Luke Skywalker seen in The Last Jedi had his genesis in ideas from late 2012.
"So, the late-2012 idea of a Luke Skywalker haunted by the betrayal of one of his students, in self-imposed exile & spiritually in “a dark place”, not only precedes Rian Johnson’s involvement in Star Wars but J.J. Abrams’, as well."
And in 2016, Pablo Hidalgo confirmed that Thea (Kira), Skyler, Darth Talon, and the planet of Felucia were in George’s plans.
[Darth Talon was the only thing from the Expanded Universe in Lucas’s Sequel Trilogy.]
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"Fast forward to 2012, when we hear George is looking to make SW movies again, I though I thought 'I wonder what next Mon Calamari's gonna be. And it turns out, the Mon Calamari this time was huge swaths of the EU. There was no Jacen, no Jaina. No new Jedi Order. Chewie lived. Not surprising, but there it was." Pablo Hidalgo ~ 2016
https://ibb.co/nmjWcBM
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"My question is, what did George's treatments for 7 look like? I would love to see if they fit the EU."
Answer [Pablo Hidalgo]- "They did not. For instance, there was no Jaina, Jacen, or Anakin." ~ 2017
https://ibb.co/N7HKCsF
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"Question from Today, but I thought this was pretty well known. George Lucas never considered Jacen, Jaina, or Mara Jade as part of his universe."
~ Pablo Hidalgo May 2016
https://ibb.co/VDX2qvY
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Question - 'So, if the 3rd season of Rebels was discussed in autumn of '14 [2014], how long was the reboot planned?
Pablo Hidalgo [Lucasfilm Story Group] - "Since at least the summer of 2012."
[Lucas still owned Star Wars than.]
https://ibb.co/1qTnLjS [direct tweet] https://ibb.co/C5rRTFc - [Discussion tweet is used in]
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“According to Mark Hamill, George’s overall plan for the sequel trilogy had Luke training his sister Leia in Episode IX before dying at the end of the film, though it’s unclear if Mark was referring to Lucas’ plans at the time of the sale to Disney or if this was from the numerous ideas he’d shared with the actor in the 80s.”
[It was a bit of both. Mark Hamill had always wanted [If Lucas made a Sequel Trilogy] - To have Leia learning the Force, it is even speculated that Mark Hamill wanted Luke to die a heroic death towards the end of the ST having trained Leia and have her be the one who restores the Jedi Order.
“No, there is another.” - Yoda, Empire Strikes Back
That is what happens in Lucas’s Sequel Trilogy. Disney didn’t use George Lucas’ storyline, but they did use certain plot points from it. Context matters of course. The following is a list of things that Lucas had created in his Sequel Trilogy that Disney pilfered from Lucas’s Story Treatments.
Please note while core points are confirm-able, some speculation of extrapolation from various sources is included. I tend to think it’s fairly reliable, but I cannot swear to every detail.
* There was only one Grandchild of Anikan Skywalker ever born. Ben Solo. He was a student at Luke’s Jedi Temple, he did turn to the Darkside and slay some or all of the other students and set fire to the Jedi Temple before fleeing.
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"The Son falling to the Darkside was always in the mix, the movies just ended up having it as an already established fact."
~ Pablo Hidalgo, The Tweets of San Francisco: A QM Production, 2018
https://ibb.co/9WXZZQQ
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' Question - "How many students were at Luke's' academy'? Was ot even an 'academy'? "We'd likely never use that term. That's very 'EU', not very George. It'd be a temple. As for numbers, can't say now." ~ Pablo Hidalgo 2016
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* Han and Leia had been separated for about 5 years, but they were drawing closer again.
* Ben Solo does kill Han Solo in Episode 8. We don’t know how. Lucas wrote this into the story line because he knew that Harrison Ford wanted that. He just asked him to wait til Episode 8 for it. Harrison Ford was fine with that.
* Chewbacca never had a moon fall on his head. He was very much alive.
* There was no New Jedi Order.
* Luke did go into something of a self-exile and he did live on an island, he was in a ‘bad place’ [Not Darkside] , he did think he failed and he was despondent and didn’t want to try and train New Jedi again. He was not ‘disillusioned’ about the Jedi. He didn’t actually want them to end. He just was afraid of creating more Vader’s and Ben Solos because he never felt confident because of his own limited training and failing. - He was not hiding persay, but he did want to be left alone more or less - We also don’t have time frames. We don’t know how long he was on the island. - Once again, different story lines in terms of context.
"But anyway Luke in exile predates TLJ by a long time and came from someone who can very happily and rightly supersede anyone's feedback :)" ~ Pablo Hidalgo https://ibb.co/sKZnWKk
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"Luke was training a new generation of Jedi, it all went wrong because of 1 boy, and he's the 'Jedi killer' - that's the source [the source being George Lucas sequel trilogy treatments he made in 2011 and ended up selling to Disney later]. ~ Pablo Hidalgo, 2016 https://ibb.co/JjYtGtf
* At a certain point Luke realizes there is something wrong with the Force.It feels ‘sick’. He knows something is very very wrong and that it would have dire consequences if it couldn’t be stopped. He spent a great amount of time communing with the Force, desperate to find the answer to what is ailing it before it is too late. Because the Force is getting worse and worse, Luke communing with it as much as he does effects him as well. [The Whills are feeding on the Force]. He knows it will probably end up killing him because he doesn’t care what happens to him just as long as he can find the answer and hopefully how the threat can be overcome.
* It is believed at a certain point in Episode 9 he does find the answer. He tells the gang what needs to be done because he was far too weak and was dying and nothing could stop it. He put on a brave face. Leia leads the group to the ‘final battle’. Luke dies while they’re gone. His communing with the Force saves the Galaxy from the Whills by finding the answer to how to stop them. A heroic death befitting of Luke Skywalker, Jedi Master. [we have no idea how these things play out, what needs to be done, etc.]
* Luke did train and young girl. Her name was Kira. She was from Jakku and a tinkerer. We don’t know much about her, only that her training was never completed and she wasn’t a “Mary Sue”. Luke actually trained her.
* Luke does train Leia to become a Jedi. She becomes a full Jedi Knight towards the end of Episode 9.
* There is a scene that does take place in the Ruins of the Second Death Star [which is underwater] in Emperor Palpatines Old Throne Room. The Emperor is as dead as a door nail. The Redeemed Anakin Skywalkwer’s sacrifice was not in vain.
Princess Leia, fully trained by The Last Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker, becomes The Last Jedi Knight in Episode 9. “The Other” - It than falls to Leia to restore the Jedi Order, which if the speculation is true, is what Mark Hamill wanted.
What I wish is that [Disney] had been more accepting of [George Lucas]’guidance and advice. Because he had an outline for ‘7’, '8’ and '9’. And it is vastly different to what they have done.
— Mark Hamill, 2017
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Mark Hamill quotes about Lucas Sequel Trilogy -
"George had an overall arc – if he didn't have all the details, he had sort of an overall feel for where the [sequel trilogy was] going – but this one's more like a relay race. You run and hand the torch off to the next guy, he picks it up and goes.
"I happen to know that George didn't kill Luke until the end of [Episode] 9, after he trained Leia. Which is another thread that was never played upon [in The Last Jedi]."
where Lucas would have taken the second set of prequels. Though Leia and Luke communicate telepathically, fans have never really seen her use the Force. Mark Hamill had this to say about Leia using the Force in George Lucas' original writings.
"This is always something that interest me because we can communicate telepathically and I tell her in one of the movies, I guess the third one, you have that power too. So I always wondered, and I don't read the fan-fiction [The Expanded Universe] , why she wouldn't fully develop her Force sensibilities and I think that's something George Lucas addressed in his original outline for 7, 8, 9. I was talking to him last week, but they're not following George's ideas so we'll have to wait and see on that one. But it seems like a waste of an innate talent that she should utilize in some way."
https://movieweb.com/star-wars-leia-originally-used-force-george-lucas/
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"...Knowing that the film was made for a young audience, I was trying to say,in a simple way, that there is a God and that there is both a good side and a bad side. You have a choice between them, but the world works better if you're on the good side."
~ George Lucas
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“Friendships, honestly, trust, doing the right thing, living on the right side and avoiding the dark side,” Lucas said. “Those are the things it was meant to do.”
~ Lucas on Star Wars and what its about, 2017
https://www.polygon.com/2017/4/13/15288998/george-lucas-star-wars-celebration
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"The message of the Star Wars films is pretty classic. There’s good and evil and the hero’s journey, his quest."
~ George Lucas, May 2020
"Right or wrong this is my movie, this is my decision, and this is my creative vision, and if people don't like it, they don't have to see it."
~ George Lucas
An interviewer said to Lucas after he said he would be too old to complete the third trilogy:
"Do you know how many fans would be willing to feed you Cream of Wheat and wheel you around in your chair if you did [intend to complete the third trilogy]?"
"Everybody said to drop the stuff about the midichlorians, it makes it too confusing. But it’s a metaphor for a symbiotic relationship that allows life to exist. Everybody said it was going to be a giant turkey: “This isn’t going to help LucasFilm at all.” I said, “This is about the movie and the company is just going to have to deal with whatever happens.” That’s one of the reasons why there was so much hype on the first prequel: Everybody was terrified."
~ George Lucas, Rolling Stone Magazine, 2005
“The ones that I sold to Disney, they came up to the decision that they didn’t really want to do those. So they made up their own. So it’s not the ones that I originally wrote.”
~ Lucas on his sequel trilogy
"The Force has two sides - [Light and Dark]. It is not an inherently malevolent or a benevolent thing. It has a bad side to it, involving hate and fear, and it has a good side, involving love, charity, fairness and Hope."
~ George Lucas
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Top 15 Movies
I made that Top 15 Games post so I decided to do movies as well, same rules apply here but you’re going to see mostly Marvel and Disney movies anyway so I made it one per franchise such as one Star Wars, One Avengers, One Guardians, with that Guardians Vol. 2, Pirates: Curse of the Black Pearl, Spider-Man: Homecoming were the runner ups. No particular order.
Incredibles: I went to the theaters to see this and I feel so happy that I did, I remember being so impressed with Dash running on the water then beating those goons. It really set the bar and holds up today considering I hold it higher than it’s sequel and it made me a fan of Brad Bird.
Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse: Am I hopping on the bandwagon here?...Nope! I was making this list and I was going to put either the first Raimi film or Homecoming and I started thinking...why not Spiderverse? I really adore the other ones but there are a few glaring problems with them, this one...I can’t actually name any.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: I really enjoyed this when I saw it, it’s one of those where I can watch it again and again and not get tired of it. I’m not sure why but it was a lot more fun than I expected, it also had ONE of the best villains of the MCU (in my opinion) as well as the worst.
The Losers: I see this as a staircase to the Marvel universe, I mean we have Zoe Saldana and Chris Evans here, what’s not to love. I think we all know what my favorite part was...
The Three Musketeers: Mickey, Donald and Goofy: It did justice to the characters and made a classic story into something new and entertaining. It’s underrated. And who can forget this part:
Tron: Legacy: This or Tron, This or Tron? Both were very good but this one has a little better effects obviously as well as doing a lot of things that the original already does, add Daft Punk’s killer soundtrack in there and you got yourself a formula for an uprising. #TronLives #FlynnLives
Atlantis: The Lost Empire: Good voice acting, cool effects, a nice aesthetic with the glowing lights, crystals, and ancient technology (I guess you can say I like blue lights judging by my previous entry) But I remember first seeing it and immediately feeling the weight from that beginning with Kida’s mom. It’s a nice adventure and makes me wish that it’s sequel wasn’t so iconicly hated because it gives the title a bad name. I refuse to watch the sequel if it really is that bad.
The Lion King: Can you blame me? Do I even have to explain? Animation is gorgeous, designs are peak, music is top notch, and expressions that they get ‘Oh so right’ that no live action remake could ever recapture. This is considered a masterpiece. I can quote it on the daily, remember even the tiniest details and just the amount of times I’ve seen it makes me want to say it IS a part of who I am.
The Avengers: Infinity War was close but this was the cake. You can walk into a room with this playing at any given moment and be like “Oh yeah this is a good part.” They spend every minute doing something interesting.
Captain America: The First Avenger: A lot of people overlook this one because of the other 2 but this one will always be my favorite. I remember seeing it the first time, just came out on DVD and my mom went to her baby shower, me and my dad watched it and she came back AS SOON as it was done, as if this was just to pass that exact amount of time. Cap is a character you want to root for, his morals are worth fighting for. Iron Man may have started the MCU but I say Cap shaped it and made it better, this was the real start (as Avengers was next. Red Skull is just a villain I like, both movie and comic as well.
Baby Driver: I was superhyped to see Spider-Man: Homecoming so I traveled just to go see it as early as I could, I said if anything went wrong, I would go see this. I ended up being fine and waited until this was on DVD. Edgar Wright has some of the best editing in his movies, the way this movie uses music, the tone, the idea of it being in the perspective of the ‘Getaway driver’ it makes it exciting and gives it spunk, it makes you like the character, the music, and heck root for a criminal. I wasn’t a big fan of the big twist everyone likes with the villain but that’s ok.
Inside Out: I went to Disney World and when I learned they were still playing this in theaters there, I dropped everything and went to go see it. Little did I know how right I was because I really enjoyed it. It’s an emotional film, gets me crying probably more than any other film, it really nails what’s it’s talking about...feelings. Mix that with glowful animation, good voice acting and a lesson that makes you think and really ponder.
Guardians of the Galaxy: I thought this would try and be like Star Wars and just be a giant battle in space. Nope! This has charm, character, and maybe a little bit of rudeness but man! I mean escape from prison in zero gravity, freezing in dead space, singing in the middle of everything and once again the villain. Why do I like the underrated villains? I think it’s a good contrast with the goofy personality of the characters to have a serious, brooding, and gritty character. As well as a proper introduction to Thanos (yeah he’s still number 1 villain in my book)
Star Wars: Somewhere, somehow, this had to be on the list. One way or the other, Star Wars is a phenomenon that can’t simply be ignored, with all the controversy and misdirection within the community right now, for some reason I keep getting tossed and turned but I find myself coming back e-v-e-r-y-t-i-m-e! I’ll say A New Hope is my favorite but really, I could say just about all of them. Something about seeing Luke, Vder, Leia, and Han in the same place just tops it off. The witty duo of R2 and 3PO, the original Death Star, the quotable moments that make you wish you were on that planet yet also find yourself relating with the way Luke wanting to get away but at the same time missing his old ways.
Black Panther: I’ll be honest. I don’t really like Black Panther in the comics. I felt like he was a cool secret weapon in the cartoons but I never really gained my appreciation for him until Civil War came out, then I really liked him. I figured out why too, I just really didn’t like how bland his suit was in the comics, I ended up reading a few anyway after the movie. I think he’s worthy of the Infinity Gauntlet like in the comics. Well this movie came out and I saw it opening day to a big crowd, it had good music, good style, a fresh take and blend between ancient and modern styles (kind of like how Atlantis did) as well as giving it a sense of culture, and not shying away from that. It’s almost like the Lion King, I never felt the same way about a film but those two feel similar and for that alone is a feat.
#top 15 movies#black panther#guardians#guardians of the galaxy#top#movies#list#star wars#a new hope#inside out#baby driver#captain america#the first avenger#avengers#the lion king#tlk#atlantis#the lost empire#mickey donald and goofy#three musketeers#tron#legacy#tron legacy#the losers#antman#antman and the wasp#ant-man and the wasp#incredibles#spider-man#into the spiderverse
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But, Can I Speak?
Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader
Genre: Fluff
Summary: Sequel to Tongue-Tied And Oh So Squeamish (x ). You work up the courage to call Gerard, and it goes even better than you planned. But, once you’re actually out on a date with him, you find that your speech impediment is just getting worse and worse.
You’d been staring at the phone number, scrawled on the first page of Apocalypse Suite, for over an hour, trying to summon the nerve to dial it.
Don’t get all anxious about it, you warned yourself. The more nervous you are, the more you’re going to stutter.
But, how could you not be nervous? You were calling a famous comic book writer, to ask him on a date!
You noticed, tracing his handwriting with your finger, that his number had an 862 area code. You’d Googled it, and learned that this meant he was from northern New Jersey.
I wonder when he moved out here, to LA, you thought to yourself. You weren’t famous - you just happened to have been born in California.
Someone like me, you frowned, who can’t even talk straight, could never be a movie star.
“Just c-c-call him, Y/N,” you told yourself. “Stop be...b-being a b-baby.”
You pulled up the keypad on your phone, and typed in the number. Your heart pounded as you listened to it ring.
“Hello?”
You blushed, and almost dropped the phone, when you heard his sweet voice on the other end.
“Hi, Ger….Gerard,” you managed. You hadn’t really expected him to pick up.
“Oh, hi, Y/N!” Gerard answered warmly.
He knew it was me, because I stammered when I said his name, you realized, frowning.
“How are you?” Gerard asked cheerfully.
“I’m g-good,” you replied. “How are you today?”
There, you thought. Four whole words you managed to say like a normal person.
“I’m great,” Gerard said sunnily. “I’m really happy you called. I was hoping you would.”
“R-really?” you blushed. Damnit. You’d stuttered again.
“Yeah,” Gerard replied, oblivious to your frustration. “I actually just finished a photo shoot with my band mates.”
“You’re in a ba...ba….band?” you gasped, surprised.
“Oh, yeah, I am,” Gerard chuckled. “The comic writing is actually more of a side job. I make most of my income through singing.”
“Wh-What’s your band’s n-name?” you asked.
“My Chemical Romance,” Gerard replied.
What?!
You knew that name. You’d bought their album, Black Parade, on CD, when it had come out last year. It was fun to listen to when you were flying down Mulholland Drive. But, you’d never bothered to learn the individual band members’ names.
The kind comic book nerd, who’d helped you find the book you were looking for, was also the frontman of MCR??
“I - I - I c-can’t believe I d-d-didn’t r-real...realize,” you gasped. You realized that your stutter was getting worse, now that you knew you were speaking to an intimidating A-list celebrity. “I-I’m s-so du….dumb…”
“No, not at all!” Gerard reassured you. “When I made the music videos you probably know me from, last year, I looked completely different. My hair was blonde, and really short. And now it’s long, and black. I’m not surprised you didn’t recognize me.”
You no longer had any idea, what words you should even attempt to push out of your mouth.
“....Do you want to get a coffee?” Gerard asked finally.
“S-sure,” you managed. There’s no reason to panic, you told yourself. He’s still the same person you met yesterday.
“Do you ever go to Eightfold?” Gerard asked.
“On Sunset Boulevard?” you recognized.
“Yeah. You want to meet me there?”
“S-sure,” you decided.
If you were stuttering this much, talking to him on the phone, you feared that once you were actually on your date, you would lose the ability to speak altogether. But, summoning your courage, you got in the car, and began the drive to the coffee shop.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
You found Gerard standing outside the shop, wearing a classy white dress shirt, accentuated by a black vest.
“Hope I’m not overdressed,” he chuckled, putting out his cigarette. “I didn’t have time to change, after I finished things up with the magazine we were shooting for.”
“Y-you look gr-great,” you smiled.
“Aw, thanks,” Gerard blushed. “So do you, Y/N.”
“Th-thank you,” you replied. “Do you c-co-co-come…”
“Do I come here often?” Gerard guessed.
“Yeah,” you sighed, honestly grateful that you hadn’t had to struggle to get the whole sentence out.
“Yeah, I do, it’s one of of my favorites actually,” Gerard smiled. “I normally get the vanilla latte.”
“I like their ma-ma-matcha latte better, myself,” you compared.
“Shall we head inside?” Gerard suggested, slipping his hand into yours.
You took it, lacing his fingers with your own, and nodded. Sometimes communicating without words was easier.
It was a minimalist shop, with white walls and bare lightbulbs hanging above wooden tables. It was packed today - there were several people in line in front of you.
You didn’t say a word to your date as you waited for it to be your turn. You just kept anxiously clinging to his hand. Gerard didn’t seem to mind. He smiled at you, and affectionately stroked the back of your hand with this thumb.
“Hi, welcome to Eightfold Coffee,” the barista smiled politely, when you finally reached the front of the line. “What can I get you today?”
“H-hi,” you mumbled, your voice just above a whisper. “I-I w-would li-like….”
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” the barista interrupted. “I couldn’t hear you.”
Damn it, you thought. Now I have to start over.
“I w-w-would like a m-ma…”
“Hurry up, lady”, said a voice behind you, and you turned and saw a man in a suit, pointing at his watch.
“Just tell him what you want already,” the man snapped. “I have a meeting to get to!”
I’m making people late, because I can’t talk right, you thought nervously. They’re mad at me! Why am I like this?
“I-I’m s-sorry,” you muttered.
“Don’t apologize,” the man griped, “just order, come on!”
You turned back to the barista. “I’ll h-have th-the ma...ma...ma…”
God, come on, Y/N, get the damn word out, you told yourself, cursing your ineptitude. “Ma….ma….”
“She’ll have the matcha latte, please,” Gerard interceded, squeezing your hand tighter. “And I’ll have the vanilla latte. Thank you.”
“One mattcha, one vanilla, coming up,” the barista nodded. “That’ll be $11.41.”
Gerard pulled a twenty out of his wallet.
“I c-can pay for m-mine,” you protested.
“I got it,” Gerard assured you. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I’ll go g-get us a t-table then,” you offered.
“That sounds great,” Gerard smiled. “Thank you, Y/N.”
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Gerard sat down across from you a few minutes later, two piping hot drinks in his hands.
“This one’s got an M on it, so it must be yours,” he figured, handing your latte to you. “I got you a napkin, too.”
“Th-thanks,” you frowned.
“What’s wrong?” Gerard asked, concern in his eyes.
“I’m s-sorry that you had to ta-talk for me back there,” you sighed. “I sh-should be able to do th-that on my own.”
“It’s no problem,” Gerard shrugged. “I’m sorry that guy was giving you a hard time. It was making me kind of mad - he didn’t need to be so impatient with you.”
“It was my fault,” you apologized.
“No, seriously,” Gerard insisted, “the dude could’ve just waited. You weren’t the one being rude, he was.”
You sipped your latte, unsure what to say in response. People didn’t normally stick up for you like this. It was...nice.
“So,” Gerard asked, “did you like my comic?”
“Yes!” you said enthusiastically. “Oh, it was w-wonderful. All the ch-characters were so unique. I r-related to V-Va...Va….”
“Vanya?” Gerard supplied.
“Yes,” you nodded, gratefully. “Her esp-especially.”
“People in the story really don’t listen to her,” Gerard admitted, taking a swig from his mug. “They take one look at her, and decide, without really knowing her, that she doesn’t matter.”
“R-right.” People hear my stutter, you thought, and they just decide that it’s not worth it, to wait around and hear what I was going to say. They think that because I can’t speak very well, I must be stupid.
“But, Vanya becomes The White Violin,” Gerard reminded. “And then she shows everyone just how special she really is.”
He shot you a meaningful glance across the table, and set his mug down. Tenderly, he reached out again for your hand.
His hands were big and strong, but soft. Holding them felt good. Reassuring. It made you less anxious, somehow.
“I think you’re pretty special, too, Y/N,” Gerard said softly, squeezing your hand tight. “Please….tell me more about yourself. I want to get to know you better.”
“About my-myself?” you repeated.
“Yes,” Gerard encouraged. “What do you like to do for fun? What are your favorite places in LA? Have long have you lived here? Do you work in the industry, or…”
“Ger….Gerard,” you stopped him. “It’s g-going to take me some t-time, to answer all those q-questions, when I t-talk like th-this.”
“That’s okay with me,” Gerard smiled softly. “My schedule’s free for the rest of the day. There’s nowhere else I would rather be, than right here, listening to you.”
You beamed. He made you feel so special. He never treated you like an inconvenience - unlike the man in line, or the shopkeeper, from yesterday. He really cared what you had to say - no matter how long it took you to say it.
Suddenly feeling more confident, than you had in a long time, you began to speak.
#i started working on this story this morning - before y'all started asking for more High School!Gerard#but trust me that one's next on my list of things to write!#gerard way imagine#gerard way x reader
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The Order I Saw the Godzilla Movies In (Revised)
I recently revised my personal timeline of when and how I became a Godzilla fan when I realized that my “obviously wrong” memory of starting in January 1994 was, in fact, 100% correct. So, considering that, here’s the (rough) order I saw the Godzilla movies, how, and briefly my initial reaction:
1. Godzilla vs. Megalon - Circa 1990. This was the first Godzilla movie I remember seeing, a VHS copy my aunt bought for my younger cousin in the bargain bin someplace (wild guess: a Bradlees department store in Saddle Brook, NJ) . She'd put it on TV while my cousin and I were playing, but I never gave much thought to it. 2. Godzilla 1985 - January 9, 1994. My family was over at my grandmother's house for a family party on the day of the NFC Wild Card game between the New York Giants and Minnesota Vikings. I happened to catch a commercial for the 5 P.M. movie on WPIX-11 out of New York, which that day happened to be Godzilla 1985. I was going through a Dinosaur and Monster craze at the time (thanks to Jurassic Park and Power Rangers) and made a point of watching it because it looked like the COOLEST THING EVER. It blew my mind! I wouldn't shut up about it for weeks! 3. Terror of Mechagodzilla - January 15?, 1994. Since I was talking nonstop about Godzilla everyday since seeing G85, my Dad took me to the local videostore a week or so later and rented this, the only Godzilla movie they had, for me to watch. I remember being confused by this movie and didn't care much for it. 4. - 7. Godzilla, King of the Monsters, Mothra vs. Godzilla, Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, and Godzilla's Revenge - January 29 and 30, 1994. Shortly after watching ToMG, I found out that TNT’s MonsterVision was having a Godzilla night on January 29. I was SUPER-excited for it, and the marathon is really what cemented my fandom. I remember recognizing immediately that GKOTM was the original movie (and, for some reason, thought Goji's ears were horns). The marathon started at 8 PM and I stayed up to watch that one, falling asleep some time during Mothra vs. Godzilla. I watched the rest the next day on tape. That video was one of my most prized possessions as a kid, right up until I got the Simitar VHS set in 1998! Interesting to note: this broadcast of Godzilla vs. Monster Zero cut the entire second Planet X sequence. The characters leaving Earth with Godzilla and Rodan is cut off by a commercial break, and when the movie resumes is when Fuji and Glenn leave Planet X with the tape. While I saw screenshots of the sequence in G-Fan, from 1994 until some time in 1999 when I finally sat to watch the Simitar release of the movie, I was completely unaware the Godzilla/Rodan v. Ghidorah fight, the Godzilla dancing scene, or the scene with Glenn and the multiple Kumi Mizunos were actually real scenes and not just promotional shots. 8. King Kong vs. Godzilla - April 3, 1994. My family often merges my birthday party with Easter because the two fall so close to each other most years, and this was one of them. I received the movie as a birthday gift from, I believe, one of my aunts. I remember being surprised the movie existed at all, the idea that King Kong and Godzilla COULD fight each other hadn't hit me yet. After this point my recollection is vague. I'll give this in what I think is rough order. 9. Ebirah, Horror of the Deep - Spring/Summer 1994??? We got the 1992 Goodtimes release from a bargain bin, either in Kmart or Bradlees. I remember being disappointed by this one.
10. Destroy All Monsters - Summer 1994. My parents bought it from a shortlived kaiju/sentai/henshin stand my family discovered on the Boardwalk in Seaside Heights, NJ. It was by the Funtime Pier, nearish the Sawmill. The owner saw I was a wide-eyed kid who'd just discovered the fandom, and talked up the movie (I didn't need much convincing). 11. Godzilla vs. Mothra - Summer 1994. I don't remember buying this movie, but I know I saw it well before I saw Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla ‘93 because the tape had the early teaser trailer for it that mostly was showing off the poster, making the movie look way darker and more badass than it turned out to be. I’m certain I bought it from the same stand in Seaside Heights, and in fact it may have been the same day as DAM. I don't remember, though. I'm only certain I saw it before the end of Summer 1994.
12. Godzilla vs. Gigan - 1994/1995??? Our family's favorite videostore was this place on Main Ave. in Lodi, NJ, across from the Kmart. It was AWESOME. It had EVERYTHING. It had a huge Sci-Fi/Horror section and was single-handedly the biggest reason why I was able to see as many Godzilla movies as I did as a kid (as well as many Gamera movies, plus a bunch of other genre films, PLUS the classic Universal Horror films). The VHS was the the New World Video or '92 StarMaker release, I'm not entirely sure. The picture of Godzilla on the ground, appearing bloody and dead, was what caught my attention and made me rent it. I remember being surprised by how dark this one was.
13. Godzilla Raids Again - 1994/1995??? I spotted this one while browsing the videos in Lodi and was intrigued by the box art (it was the Video Treasures release). I've always liked this one a lot because it was a direct sequel to the first movie, because I liked both monsters' designs, and thought they had a really cool fight. 14. Ghidorah the Three-Headed Monster - 1994/1995??? Honestly? I don't remember. Either I rented it from the store in Lodi or recorded it off the TV. I don't remember how I felt after seeing it, it didn't leave much of an impression on me at the time. Now, it's one of my favorite Godzilla movies!
15 .Godzilla vs. Hedorah - Summer 1995. Rented the Orion Pictures VHS from the videostore in Lodi. I don't recall my initial reaction.
16. Godzilla vs. Biollante - Summer 1995. I went with my Dad to a supermarket in East Rutherford for groceries one afternoon, and while there we visited the videstore across the street. As had become my SOP by that point, I went to the Sci-Fi section and looked for Godzilla movies and I discovered it there. The cover caught me immediately, like GvMG2's cover it was SO COOL. We rented it, and I was doubly surprised to discover that this was a direct sequel to Godzilla 1985! AWESOME! Then, triply surprised by the violent opening sequence - so surprised that I actually ejected the tape to double-check that this was a Godzilla movie. By the time I finished watching it the first time, I had been permanently fixed as my favorite Godzilla movie. ^___^
17. Son of Godzilla - Summer 1995. Fairly certain we rented it from the videostore in Lodi. I liked this one and actually used to watch it a lot. 18. Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla - Summer 1995. Rented the '92 StarMaker VHS from the videostore in Lodi. This quickly became one of my favorites! I later bought the GoodTimes "Godzilla vs. Cosmic Monster" version from a bargain bin in Kmart, thinking it was a different movie, only to discover that it was an edited down version of GvMG (I could tell since the StarMaker version had the opening scene with Anguirus, the Cosmic Monster version did not). 19. - 20. Godzilla vs. Super-Mechagodzilla and Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla - Summer 1995. While on a day trip to Sandy Hook in South Jersey I convinced my parents to drive all the way down to Seaside Heights so I could buy these, as I’d spotted them when we were in Seaside Heights last time. I watched Space Godzilla that night - this would be the first Godzilla movie I ever watched in Japanese without subs (it was a theatrical camcorder bootleg, I remember hearing the audience and seeing people getting up and walking around), I ate it up anyway. ^_^ I watched GvMG2 the next day while at a family party in Pennsylvania and loved it. ^_^ From this point forward the order is accurate. 21. Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah - Possibly 1996. I became aware of this movie when I walked into the Garden State Plaza's Starlog store in Summer 1994, I think, (long since closed) and spotted stills of Mecha King Ghidorah and Godzillasaurus. I ended up buying a subbed bootleg from The Outer Limits in Clifton, NJ in either late 1995 or some time in 1996. 22. Godzilla vs. Destroyah - Summer 1996 or 1997. I also bought this, subbed, from The Outer Limits in Clifton, NJ. I remember buying this one in the summer, and it having been a very long time after it came out, so I'm leaning toward it having been Summer of 1997. This was one of the last movies I saw before Zilla'98 came out. I remember liking it quite a lot, and eventually it became one of the most-watched Heisei films for me. 23. Godzilla (1998) - May 1998. Saw it at the Highway Theater in Fair Lawn, NJ. I remember liking it after walking out of the theater. I didn't "decide" that I "hated" it until I read the next issue of G-Fan and realized all the other fans had hated it, so I switched gears and claimed to hate it too. I didn't change my mind about it until I gave it a second chance in 2002. Today I'm mostly neutral toward it, my biggest criticism being that it’s really dull. 24. Godzilla 2000 - August 2000. Saw it at the Clifton Commons theater in Clifton, NJ. For some reason, I wasn't excited about seeing this one and ended up waiting a week before going. I remember walking away happy I saw it, but not crazy about it. It left little impression on me for years after, although more recently I’ve come around and nowadays like it quite a lot. :) 25. Godzilla vs. Megaguirus - Summer 2001. Bought this, subbed, from The Outer Limits in Clifton, NJ. I didn't care much for it (I also didn't find out about the after-credits sequence until it came out on video in the U.S. officially). 26. GMK - Summer 2002 or 2003. Bought this, subbed, from The Outer Limits in Clifton, NJ. Being a fan of the Heisei Gamera films by this point, I was pretty disappointed by this movie. I remember not liking much of anything about it. Since then, I've 100% reversed and its now one of my favorite Post-'80s Godzilla films. 27. Godzilla against Mechagodzilla - 2004 or 2005. Don't recall how I got this one, it might've been Christmas 2004. I liked it quite a lot at the time, and thus far has held up on repeat viewings. 28. Godzilla (1954) - Fall 2004. One of the last things I bought from the Outer Limits before the store closed. I watched it in my dorm room during my first semester of college and remember being amazed, it was like seeing the movie again for the first time. ^_^ 29. Godzilla: Tokyo SOS - 2005. Bought it from the FYE in the Paramus Park Mall, I think. I didn't like it at all. I thought it was a serious let down after GxMG, and felt that movie deserved better than a bad remake of Mothra vs. Godzilla. I've since revised my opinion and like it more, but still think it should have been better. 30. Godzilla: Final Wars - 2005. Bought it from the FYE in the Paramus Park Mall, I think. At the time I liked it and for years thought other fans were being too hard on it. After rewatching it again around 2013 or so, though, it plummeted through the floor to me and my opinion wasn’t nearly so high. I slowly warmed back up to it, eventually deciding to make my own fan edit which is now my preferred version to watch.
31. Godzilla (2014) - May 2014. Saw it at the Garden State Plaza in Paramus, NJ on opening night. Loved it! One of the rare movies I went back and saw again in theaters, and has only gotten better after the many repeat viewings since. ^_^
32. The Return of Godzilla - 2015??? Considering this was only a few years ago, I’m really sort of baffled that I can’t figure out when I bought this?? After years of waiting, I got impatient for an official U.S. release and imported a copy from Japan. It was wonderful to see the movie that made me a fan again after so long, even if it wasn’t the G’85 version, but I found the Japanese version surprisingly lacking compared to the Americanized version (which I soon after found a bootleg to compare). The lack of music and many of what I feel were poorer editing choices really hurt the Japanese cut for me, and to this day the pure Japanese cut of this film is my lead favorite version (my preferred, these days, is the Godzilla: Resurrection fan edit).
33. Shin Godzilla - October 2016. Saw this in, I believe, Fort Lee, NJ when it was having its theatrical run. Loved it! Second Godzilla movie I’d gotten my now brother-in-law to come see (I brought him to a screening of G’54 in New York City in 2014).
34. Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters - 2018. I saw this as soon as it hit Netflix and while I enjoyed it, my feelings have been mixed. I love the creativity of it, but it’s a pretty slow movie and not one I see myself returning to much. One of the only ones I don’t own a copy of.
35. Godzilla: Mechagodzilla City - 2018. Yeah, screw the official title of this, it’s Mechagodzilla City for me. I liked this one MUCH more than PotM, a truly inspired take on the Godzilla and Mechagodzilla rivalry. Very much enjoyed! Also don’t own a copy, since Netflix has yet to give it a physical release.
36. Godzilla: King of the Monsters - May 2019. Saw this one in theaters at least twice, once in I believe Secaucus and again in Holmdel. I think I saw it once more in Paramus, too. Unbelievably enjoyable movie, and easily one of my absolute favorites of this year. ^_^
39. King Kong vs. Godzilla (Japanese Version) - December 2019. Finally got a chance to sit and watch this recently thanks to the Criterion set. Loved it!
38. Godzilla: The Planet Eater - 2019??? Okay, time to come clean: I technically haven’t actually seen this one yet. ^^()
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Hi all, I made a new blog just to analyze the BotW 2 Trailer
First of all, hello! Okay, so, Breath of the Wild is getting a sequel. When? Not sure, but here’s the trailer in case you missed it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fr1Z07AV00
Everything below will be an in-depth analysis of the trailer. If you want to go in blind, check out now.
Alright, first things first. Where are we in time?
We can assume that this takes place after the first, it’s obvious. But when? something to be talked about, I’m sure. My guess is within the year after the first takes place. Zelda was persistent on getting the kingdom in order, and I don’t think she’d wait around
Alright, about the trailer now
the red stuff at the bottom here is called Malice, what Ganon was made of/oozed out in the first game:
A couple of things worth noting:
- This isn’t Sheikah language. Color’s off and so is the way it’s written
- It’s hard to tell from an image, but that text is spiraling up, out of Ganon
Next up, this mural:
Looks like Ganon riding a horse while wielding a trident. Nothing too big here. The look reminds me of his Twilight Princess getup
The two are clearly in ruins of some sort, not sure where or why, however.
The crystals remind me of Luminous Stones. And if that is what they are, then maybe they server another purpose here? They’re the same color as that text floating around Ganon.
Also, what looks like a new mount. My friend, ( @empressofsquids ), pointed out that it looks like a Yak, which very much could be true.
From what I can see here, it looks like the two are adventuring around Hyrule, the supplies on the animal’s back being where they keep their stuff.
Nothing huge, but I just thought it was worth getting every detail I could Now, here’s where things get interesting:
We get a look at all three here. Zelda’s sporting a new shorter haircut, and Link’s got a new tunic. Looks like a blend of the Hylian Tunic and the Champion’s Tunic.
The place they’re in looks like it could be a tomb of some sort? Certainly Ganon wouldn’t just be dropped in any crevice or hole they had laying around. Admittedly, this is one of my weaker points but I thought it was worth mentioning
Next up we get to look at a rat being absolutely game-ended by Malice:
I noticed that the Malice here almost looks like hands reaching out, and I don’t believe the only reason for grabbing that rat is just to eat it or whatever Malice does.
Maybe corruption? The way that Malice works, it wouldn’t surprise me if it has the abilities to turn good things bad
Then, we get a look at this neat little bridge in a cavern
I say little, but I mean huge.
Is it possible we’ll get the entire first game’s map with the addition of a vast underground area to explore? I don’t see it being impossible, albeit unlikely.
Nothing much worth note here other than obvious signs of age on the bridge, and the cavern being very large. Covered in luminous stones(?)
Just another look at Zelda’s new hair. Love it
Now this:
This is one of the most gripping parts of this trailer.
Again, not Sheikah. Almost looking divine. Soft green glow, and golden accessories with wired accents
For comparison, here’s a Sheikah monk:
Golden accessories, yes, but not with the same matte finish, and the monk certainly isn’t covered in it.
The similarities being that the former’s hand is as bony as the ladder’s, and they do have similar colored accessories
Now, whatever it is... it seems to be just an arm. But it’s got Ganon tight by the chest, and it seems to be sprouting Malice from where the two are touching. We can get a better look at the jewelry here, further cementing the idea that it is not similar to the Sheikah’s
About Ganon here, I don’t believe he is behind this new threat. I’ll explain more in a second, but first:
I don’t know what the context for this is, but I don’t like it. I believe Link is reaching into the text, maybe? Whatever the case may be, it didn’t like it.
Sending Link back while he grips his arm in pain as the text is entering? Will we get new powers for Link? Maybe without the use of the Sheikah Tablet, which I haven’t seen at all in the trailer on either of the two.
Now, honestly this isn’t much. It could be Link helping Zelda climb a wall, it could be him catching her last second, whatever it is, I think that at some point the two will separate. Zelda getting some playtime, maybe? Even if only for a bit
Now, this temple could be one of two things in my mind: 1. Ganon’s tomb, or where the Malice/hand are being held
2. Where Link and Zelda will first enter the underground area
It’s certainly extravagant, with the two pillars near the stairs resembling hands.
This is a closer view of the thing above the door, but I’ve no idea what to make of it.
Now this. This is interesting. You can see Link’s arm being grabbed by whatever was grabbing Ganon. Is Link comatose during this? It looks like he’s lying down, and I’m not sure of a situation where Link’d just offer his arm to this entity.
Limp fingers, definitely passed out now if he wasn’t previously. Not sure what to make of it. Could this hand be responsible for corrupting Link? Will we get another Dark Link bossfight in the game?
Ganon’s being grabbed by this thing. Again, I don’t think that this is Ganon’s choice to do this. Could it be that he awakened this entity and it sought to possess something more powerful than itself?
Link and Zelda get seperated here, the floor beneath her caves and she’s sent down. Link remains stable. Maybe a part of the game where Zelda and Link are trying to get back to each other, leading too parts where you play as both Link and Zelda? I really want a playable Zelda, if you can’t tell...
Now, it looks like Zelda is confronting Ganon here, alone. Not sure why Link isn’t here given that he was with her when they first found him.
My thinking with this, is that Ganon is dead, or at least his physical being is. The orange glow on his head IS reminiscent of Sheikah tech, maybe turning blue at some point? I truly don’t think that Ganon is behind it at this point, something far greater than the three bearers of the Triforce is at play.
The way the head moves is unnatural, and I don’t like it at all, not a single bit.
I think that Ganon got the short end of whatever stick he wanted, and is being used as the host for this Magic Green Hand(tm). They’ve got a much darker tone set for this game, and I hope they lean into it. The way Majora’s Mask was the successor of Ocarina of Time.
The last major part of the trailer is this:
Hyrule Castle is now airborne.
Aside from the fact that there’s a castle in the sky, I also notice that Death Mountain seems to be inactive, or at the very least not spouting anything into the sky. Could what’s happened underground have affected the above world as well? Worth noting that that point of view is likely from the Great Plateau. Would it be fair to assume that it will be the same starting point for the second game?
Now, about this language:
I have a couple of ideas, but none concrete.
There are about 5 - 6 languages in the Zelda universe
To get straight to the point here, the language used here reminds me of the ancient typography used in Link to the Past and Link’s Awakening. The best example I can find of it is here:
Definitely not 1 to 1, but it’s worth noting that it’s similar
Thanks for reading all the way through, I spent a lot of time writing this and I hope it was worthwhile to someone. Have a nice day! Hopefully we get some new news for the game soon enough.
Also, I get that I may have sounded rambly, wrong, or even stupid in some parts, and I am capable of mistakes. Call me out
Lastly, I would love to hear your thoughts about the trailer, reblog, share, spread it around. I love to hear ideas and opinions about the game. Lastly, add me on Discord at Gremzie1#5023
#botw#loz botw#loz breath of the wild#the legend of zelda#zelda#link#breath of the wild#ganon#ganondorf#analysis#breath of the wild 2#botw2#theory
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Because I mentioned I was going to eventually get rid of my old shower curtain, my mom surprised me and got me an Edward Gorey one. Gashlycrumb Tinies!
One of the recent ghost books on ghost I read mostly just (intentionally or not) taught me how to fake spooky sh*t at seances but in the entry on mirrors it mentioned looking into one at night was considered bad luck. But that’s kind of hard to avoid. I already knew using candlelight to look into a mirror is considered to be unlucky but I think a cellphone’s flashlight doesn’t count. Anyway, going to the bathroom at night is going to be spookier. :D
Life’s been kind of hectic lately, mostly due to things outside of my control. I want to get a new job this summer. And fix my sleeping schedule. I’ve been getting stress dreams again for the first time in a while. I don’t count a bad dream as a nightmare unless I wake up terrified but it still sucks. Going to ask my doctor if melatonin is a good idea.
My dog (see above) had a nasty cough after getting knocked out for some dental surgery, which is supposed to be normal, but it lasted for a while so we took her to the vet. And it turns out that the reason she was scratching on my door every night to be let outside was because of a UTI. She’s doing better now.
Mm, there’s a lot more things to talk about but I’ll save that for another post.
The Dark Knight: There was a scene where a bunch of men got their uniforms stolen and they were tied up and g*gged. I watched the trilogy out of order. To be honest, I get kind of bored watching these but the villains are cool. Bane’s darling but now that I’ve seen Venom I prefer Eddie Brock. Jonathan Crane is kind of cute, too.
Now I finally get why people like the Joker so much. He gives not a single f*ck. So many things could go wrong at any moment during his plans, he relies so much on luck, but he has so much confidence. I feel like if tried to slide down a hill of money I would hurt myself. The best scene was the Joker walking quickly out and away from the hospital. Also, the bank heist in the beginning.
Crimson Peak started to get good when Edith and Lucille were having the butterfly discussion and ended up being better paced than I thought it would be. But after Carter got his head smashed in, I’m not sure why Edith would go with Thomas after that.
Gothic horror is actually fun to learn about in school because the genre’s progenitors would probably be into yandere and monster f*cking. It’s like... In the first art history class I took, we were looking at Renaissance paintings and there was a fair amount of stuff with a de*th and the maiden motif. The modern equivalent would be a lot of metal album covers.
Brain Damage: I was looking for infestation movies and I’m so glad I stumbled upon this. Not because it’s particularly good but ‘cause the MC is super cute. Basically the talking leechy thing pumps Brian full of an addictive fluid through the the back of his neck and they have a faux symbiotic relationship where Aylmer gorily eats other people’s brains.
There was a scene where Brian’s brother answers the phone lying on his stomach in his und*rwear. Followed by a scene where Brian takes his pants off and you see his t*sh. Also a very brief M/F/M thr*some dream that gets gruesome real quick.
The Stuff: If you’re into The Blob, you’ll probably like this. The mode of killing is a bit different. Stuff’s alive and controls people from the inside.
A Cure for Wellness: Shout out to his movie for showing n*ked/scantily clad old people without getting weird about it. Within the first half hour I was surprised when it didn’t do well at the box office. The visuals draw you in but it was probably too long and could have been better. I wasn’t expecting to it get kind of fantastical. It’s got existentialism, surrealism, mystery... Uhhhh... I’m not sure whether to classify it as fantasy or sci fi.
Venom: Hits so many k*nks. Dan’s cute, Anne has good taste in men. Carlton Drake gets symbioted. Actually, I’m not sure if he or Eddie is sexier. The first guy to get possessed in the Eminem video is also cute. Best line is Venom saying, “Look at her. She has no idea we are going to get her back.” The Rorschach-like ending credits were cool.
Sleepaway Camp: Before I watched this, I already knew the ending. Sort of. To be honest, I expected “Angela” to be an offensive portrayal of a trans woman but the situation was more like David Reimer, minus g*nital m*tilation. The ending itself... Aunt Martha may not have gone on a murder spree but she’s the scariest person in the film. Otherwise I wouldn’t have said there’s anything terribly special about this film. Based on the synopsis of the sequel, I’m probably not going to watch the rest of the franchise.
Hell Fest: Pretty typical modern slasher but the atmosphere is great. It was also funny. I’m just gonna use bullet points for this.
“You know what? He deserves at least some dignity after death.” “Let’s give him a b*ner.”
When asked if he mentioned something about having a f*tish for p*ddles, Gavin answers, “I have never said that in my entire life.”
Why did Asher get hotter while he was struggling and getting stabbed in the eyeball?
It took me a minute to recognize Tony Todd. Sad.
Men in Black II: At no point in the film did Serleena, who is capable of transformation and has tentacles, transform into a male und*rwear model. :’(
Fullmetal Alchemist: (The manga.) A military fantasy that raises some good questions about ethics. And dat solar aesthetic. The chimera designs were so cool. Envy is a cruel, skimpily dressed shapeshifter with a grotesque “true form” and Lin gets willingly possessed by Greed. So that’s right up my alley.
Break My Heart 1,000 Times: Good time to read this. It takes place in February. Read this because I Still See You has Richard Harmon. The book started off decently but I didn’t like the protagonist’s behavior near the end of part three. And there’s some sexism. Like hysterically slapping her love interest and blaming herself for not having any weapons in her room because she’s a girl. Seriously, I keep a bigass King James Bible on my nightstand. If anyone breaks in, they’re getting brained by the Good Book. Or a lamp. Or the nightstand itself. But hopefully my dog would maul an intruder first.
Christine: Wasn’t really into it but you might be if you’re into corruption, e.g. a nerdy guy becoming slightly more physically appealing jerk*ss.
The 100: I got teary-eyed when Clarke and Lexa were saying goodbye and then the latter accidentally gets short. Poor Murphy can’t catch a break, as usual. Started season four the other day.
Hostel: DUMB REASON TO GO “OUT OF BOUNDS”, FELLAS.
Going into this, I thought I’d like Jay Hernandez’s character the most but then I found the other guys cuter until the end then I really liked Paxton. Weirdly enough, I found Alexei cute. There’s decent whump but I’m not into v*mit.
I think I saw an ad with the guy who tortured Paxton when I was in elementary school but I mistook it for something from one of the Saw movies. This was obviously before I had any interest in watching these kinds of movies. XD
Songs of the Day: I’ve been listening to a lot of Dead inside the Chrysalis/Dedderz lately... I’m crushing on Manek Deboto. He should be the one wearing a th*ng in the She’s So Rad music vid! If they ever do “He’s So Rad” they should include Elm Street’s Jesse Walsh and Brian from Brain Damage...
#Tawney talks#horror#whump#g*re#minors do not interact#Edward Gorey#The Dark Knight#Crimson Peak#Brain Damage#The Stuff#Batman#The Blob#A Cure for Wellness#Venom#Marvel#MCU#Sleepaway Camp#Hell Fest#Men in Black II#Men in Black#FMA#Break My Heart 1000 Times#I Still See You#Christine#Stephen King#The 100#Hostel#Saw#Nightmare on Elm Street
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Nintendo Direct Feb 2019 BREAKDOWN
So, that direct was pretty okay right? If you missed it or even if you didn’t, I’m gonna be taking a look at everything announced and giving it a vague excitement rating! Enjoy!
Super Mario Maker 2
This was a pretty great way to kick off this direct. With the promise of a host of new features coming in this entry to build upon the first, including the introduction of slopes (finally) and a new texture pack based on Mario 3D World, I reckon this is definitely one to mark in the calendar. Mario Maker 2 is slated for a, gratefully soon, June 2019 release.
Excitement Rating: YEEHAW
Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3: The Black Order
The long awaited third entry in the MUA series, to the surprise of many, is in fact a Switch exclusive. For those who don’t know, this is a hack-and-slash fighting game, of course tied heavily to Marvel comics. This entry seems to be riding in off the back of Infinity War, with Thanos and the Black Order showcased as central villains. Honestly, this game looks like it could be fun, especially with friends, though I don’t think it’ll turn out to be anything special.
ER: Sure, why not!
BOX BOY! + BOX GIRL!
This adorable little puzzle platformer is making its debut on Switch this spring, with the promise of local multiplayer and more levels than ever before. Looks to be a goodun for fans of cute, minimalist art design and box-based puzzles and the like.
ER: Cool! Those boxes can move!
Super Smash Bros. Ultimate - Ver. 3.0
Nintendo sort of slapped us in the face with a lovely, welcome announcement of a new Smash update! Oh boy! New features! And then they turn around and say they aren’t gonna tell us what they are.
Oh.
Kind of makes me question the point of putting this in the direct a little, but I’m sure whatever they’ll add will be cool! On top of that, a tentative release window for Joker was given (before the end of April this year) and we got a cheeky look at some of the new spicy amiibos, being Snake, Simon and the Pokemon Trainer lot.
ER: Yay?
Captain Toad Treasure Tracker Updates
Here’s one that definitely caught me offguard, but I’m more than happy with it considering I just picked up the game. Part of the new Captain Toad content is free, adding in proper 2 player co-op where you can both play as Toad. The paid ‘special episode’ stuff struck me as a little odd, considering this game was already a Wii U port that’s now getting even more paid DLC. Regardless, it’s not too pricey and you can even pick up the first DLC course now, with the rest coming March 14.
ER: That’s cool!
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
This not-quite-Castlevania game could easily be mistaken for a knock off of that franchise, but seems to have some defining elements of its own. The art style is bold enough to make it unique and the game seems to have an interesting variety of puzzles and side quests to make this more than just a run of the mill 2D platformer. An obvious choice for those with a Castlevania shaped hole in their hearts.
ER: You go bouncy vampire lady
Dragon Quest Builders 2
What is basically just Dragon Quest Minecraft with a story mode apparently, this oddly charming sandbox game was seemingly popular enough to warrant a sequel. And I won’t lie to you, it got me a little excited. As a fan of Dragon Quest its art style and general building-ness, I think I might have to pick this one up. And it’s got a cool retro map!
ER: I’m not excited, you are
Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age: Definitive Edition
In case you hadn’t guessed, I literally adore Dragon Quest. The bright colours, the developed characters, the expansive world, awesome monster designs, great soundtrack and lame sense of humour, it all just gets me. It just sort of sucks I already own this on the PS4, where I can’t access all this new content. Oof. But yeah, pick this up if you can. You won’t regret it if you’re a JRPG fan.
ER: More like echoes of an exclusive age amirite
Disney Tsum Tsum Festival
Oh.
I won’t lie to you right now, nothing screams ‘soulless’ to me more than small Disney plushes with all the personality taken from them being stuck into totally random minigames. Don’t get me wrong, I love Disney (mostly through Kingdom Hearts but that’s besides the point) but I don’t think this elicited much excitement in anyone.
ER: I guess this exists, huh?
Starlink: Battle for Atlas - Spring Update
This was another one that surprised me. Considering how mind meltingly badly Starlink bombed, partly down to its odd reliance on the whole ‘toys to life’ craze that died out in 2013, I really didn’t think there’d be any further support for the game and they’d just sort of slip it under the rug. But nope, we’ve got some more Switch exclusive missions involving some more Star Fox characters, as well as the introduction of Wolf’s buddies. Honestly, I think Nintendo needs to do themselves a favour and just release a new Star Fox game.
ER: Great, if for some reason you bought this!
Rune Factory 4 Special & Rune Factory 5
Here’s a series I’d literally never heard of until last Wednesday, but the only way I can describe it from what I’ve seen is it looks to be a cross between Animal Crossing and kind of also Dragon Quest. You cook stuff, you farm stuff, you fight things and you can get married if you want, so definitely cool if you’re a fan of the series. But also cool if you’re someone who wished Animal Crossing was a bit more JRPG. Alongside the announcement of a remastered Rune Factory 4 later this year, as well as confirmation of Rune Factory 5 sometime in the future.
ER: Cool! Plants and stuff!
Oninaki
An action RPG with an intriguing premise and a rich, dark colour scheme, Oninaki seems very eager to set itself apart from other JRPGs on the market and still manages to stand out just a bit, even in a direct that’s basically been packed with JRPGs. Oninaki explores themes of reincarnation and grief, following the story of one grey-haired dude saving lost souls from a place called the Upside Down the Beyond to stop them from turning into monsters. Another one to add to the list if you like edgy RPGs!
ER: Edgy and cool
Yoshi’s Crafted World
Another update for this adorably cardboard entry into the long running Yoshi series, we’re finally getting close to actually being able to play it. Nintendo showcased some of the more interesting variants of gameplay, with the use of rafts, cars and planes definitely making this seem that there’s some substance here to go with the style. Alongside this, a demo released on the eshop so go play that if you haven’t already and decide if it’s for you!
ER: Wow, this game has a Labo costume! I’ll definitely grind for that!
Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Finally some more info about Nintendo’s latest instalment in their anime Game of Thrones series Fire Emblem, we got a big ol infodump about some of the stuff to do with the game. While the video itself will explain everything better than I can, this time players will be able to interact with three kingdoms and three main protagonists, all of this centralising around one academy the game is set within. Overall, this game certainly looks interesting to play, but one I’m not quite sure I’ll be picking up just yet. Basically, if you’re unfamiliar with the games but love a tactical RPG, this one is a no brainer.
ER: Edelgard’s design is pretty cool. If one of them has to get into Smash, I hope it’s her.
Tetris 99
The game many have been calling Tetris Battle Royale, this is the very first Nintendo Switch Online exclusive offering and it’s totally free if you’re a member. It’s Tetris and you have to win against 98 other people, also playing Tetris. Nice!
ER: Tetris block for Smash
Dead by Daylight
As a game I got for free through Playstation Plus, it should be fairly obvious that this port isn’t one that excites me greatly, especially after seeing the quality of the graphics in the trailer the direct showed us. While the concept of an online match with several survivors and one killer sounds good on paper, it seems as if the quality of this port may leave a lot to be desired. But still, this could still only be early development footage and we really have no idea how it’ll look by the end.
ER: Tentative
Deltarune
Undertale is one of my favourite games of all time, so of course it excited me to find out I’d finally be able to play the sort of sequel, Deltarune, which Toby Fox has taken in the interesting direction of splitting the game into chapters. The first of these chapters will be free (yay I like free) and it certainly seems like the same abstract sense of humour and charm present in Undertale has been carried over to this sequel. Definitely one to watch.
ER: Always excited about cartoon doggo
Daemon X Machina
This mech-fighter has been floating around in various Nintendo directs for a fair while now and it’s encouraging to see the game come close to release. In a commendable move, the producer of the game has offered a free demo of the game allowing you to pilot your own custom mech and experience a boss battle in the demo known as ‘Prototype Missions’. The aim of this to gain feedback from potential players in order to make the game as good as it can be, which is amazing! It’s honestly a bit of a dream world where every game developer and publisher is as open and transparent as these guys, so kudos to them. As well as this, the game looks pretty heckin’ fun so it’s definitely worth picking up the demo off the eshop and giving these guys your feedback!
ER: Big ol’ robots hell yeah
GRID Autosport
As of yet, the Switch has lacked a realistic racing game. Enter Grid Autosport, which seems to be packed with a variety of cars, tracks and game modes, including all DLC from the original release of the game. Not one for me, but I’m sure there’s plenty of Switch owners out there whose racing fix isn’t quite satisfied by Mario Kart.
ER: V big if ur a car person
Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice
This game was notably created in collaboration with neurologists and those who experience psychosis in order to properly portray the main character and her mental health struggles. Following the quest of Senua as she fights to save the soul of her dead lover, this game created a huge wave through the industry when it first launched and won major awards for its artistic design and performance. While this isn’t one I’ve had the chance to try yet, it certainly looks as if it provides a brilliant, emotional experience from beginning to end.
ER: A lot
Mortal Kombat 11
This was one everyone basically already knew about, but this direct gave us a reminder of the release date and various features such as custom characters. For fans of this long running, brutal fighting game, get April 23 in ur brains.
ER: Cool
Unravel Two
This adorable puzzle platformer sees you and, optionally, a friend take control of two little creatures made of yarn as they navigate a colourful world and help each other pass various obstacles. For those fans of platformers like the Yoshi series, Unravel is definitely one to consider.
ER: Cool
Assassin’s Creed III Remastered
This is the iconic stealth fighting series Assassin’s Creed’s first outing on Switch, but if this footage is anything to go by, it’s not looking brilliant. While this once again could be put down to unfinished development, the first look at a game is often the most important, and a slow frame rate shown during the direct could mean this game isn’t what fans want it to be.
ER: Tentative
Final Fantasy Release Dates
For fans of the legendary and slightly intimidating JRPG series, several games in the series both new and old will be coming to the Switch in 2019:
Final Fantasy VII on March 26th
Chocobo’s Mystery Dungeon EVERY BUDDY! on March 20th
Final Fantasy IX is out now!
ER: Cloud is my favourite twink
Astral Chain
Admittedly, at a first glance, this title in a brand new franchise didn’t particularly excite me. But after having another look, I can definitely see where all the hype is coming from. This looks to be a hack-and-slash sort of action RPG with all the edgy story elements and setpieces of that ever so popular steampunk genre that players seem to love these days. With all these mechs, explosions and edgy voiceovers, it makes me think that Xenoblade Chronicles and Deus Ex had some kind of torrid love affair. On top of this, with a dev team that has Bayonetta, The Wonderful 101 and NieR: Automata under their belt, this is a game that will almost certainly impress when it finally comes out on August 30. Platinum Games might just have another winner here.
ER: Big yes
The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening
oKAY, let’s be real, this is the one that really knocked it out of the park. At least for me it did. As the final reveal, this made me scream a little tiny bit. I think we’d all heard the rumours of a 2D Zelda coming to Switch, but I was highly skeptical to say the least. But a wonderfully charming and artistically bloody P E R F EC T remake of Link’s Awakening?? HHHHHH. They even kept all the Mario enemies for some reason! Oh boy, whenever they release this in 2019 apparently really can’t come soon enough.
ER: AAAAAAAAAAAAA
That was all for this direct! I hope you enjoyed my silly, unplanned breakdown of all the cool things that happened. Til the next direct!
Oh and if you’ve got a craving for more game news, be sure to check back on my blog March 1st for the second ‘issue’ (lol) of my monthly viddy game mag!
Stay hydrated my dudes.
#nintendo#nintendo switch#Nintendo Direct#zelda#the legend of zelda#mario#super smash bros#super mario#astral chain#Final Fantasy#dragon quest#deltarune#eggoreviews#gaming
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Functions and Feelings (V) - BoruSara
Chapter 5: Stage Fright
Characters/Pairings: BoruSara
Rating: T
Genre: Romance and Humor
Summary: Boruto wins a bet with Sarada to let him be her personal body guard during the Five Kage Summit to be held in Sunagakure. The functions they attend help them both to slowly realize their true feelings for each other.
This is also a sequel to my one shot Perfect Balance. You don’t need to read it in order to fully understand the story, however reading it will give you a good start to understand the context.
Chapter 1: The Bet
Chapter 2: Transit
Chapter 3: Balconies
Chapter 4: Cover Up
Chapter 6: Escort I
Outside the function hall Sarada was pacing back and forth, furiously reading her talking points again and again. She wiped her sweaty palms on the sides of her dress.
"What is that idiot doing?" she fumed quietly. He was supposed to be here to watch her speech. "Where is he?"
She opened the door a bit to take a peek. Standing on stage behind the podium, Iruka Umino was giving a lecture about the education system in Konoha's Ninja Academy. He was explaining how they patterned the new curriculum to the modernization that they were currently enjoying, while still preserving the traditional ways of forming young ninja. The room was filled with students, parents, educators, ninja, and business investors. It was common for large corporations to favor ninja academy graduates since they often showed a large amount of talent.
The thought that there were three hundred people in attendance made Sarada's legs feel like they were made of jelly. She had no problem single handedly facing ten rogue shinobi at a time, but public speaking was a fear she had yet to overcome. It was silly and she knew it. Being hokage entailed speaking in front of large crowds, to convey sincere thoughts and ideas, while keeping them engaged. Giving a short testimonial of the curriculum she had studied, and say a few encouraging words for the next generation to enter the Ninja Academy should be a piece of cake, right? Nope.
She closed the door and leaned back on the wall. She bit her lower lip, willing it to stop quivering. Sarada crossed her arms and held on to her shoulders. She could feel her eyes prick from the tears that threat to spill. She was standing all alone outside the function hall. It was well passed noon and the sun was baking the desert below. Despite this, Sarada felt so cold. Having a nervous breakdown before her speech would be unacceptable. Please, she begged herself. Not now.
"Sarada!"
She snapped her gaze towards the voice. Her dark eyes took in his form, and her tears were now pooling at the corner of her eyes.
Boruto came running down the hall, his right hand was holding a dark blue cape. This was the coat Naruto commissioned just for her. It was a gift to show her—and all the allied nations—that he was recognizing her as his successor.
She felt her stomach twist, and her heart flutter. Boruto always did have a knack for showing up just in time.
He stopped in front of her and draped the cape over her shoulders. Quickly, Boruto snapped the top buttons together to hold it in place. He then dusted her off. There was sand falling on the wooden floor.
He took in large gulps of air, trying to steady his breathing. The young Uzumaki ran across the entire Sand village to retrieve Sarada's cloak. She had left it hanging at the back of her chair at the restaurant she had lunch in with Kagura earlier. Boruto had realized she wasn't wearing it when they were already at the venue.
He looked at the ceiling and let out a heavy sigh of relief. "Thank Kami I made it in time. You should really stop spacing out whene—"
He was cut off when he felt two hands clutch at his flak vest. Boruto looked down to see that her closed fists were trembling. He felt panic arise in his chest. "Oy!" He held covered her small fists with his warm hands. "What's wrong?"
Sarada lifted her head and gazed into Boruto's deep blue eyes. "There's so many people," her voice quivered. "I-I can't do this." Her grip on his vest tightened.
His blue eyes softened. He knew she had stage fright. Trying to cheer her up, he pulled out his best sarcastic voice and teased her. "Oh come on. How are you supposed to be Hokage if you can't even deliver a simple speech?"
Of course it didn't work.
Her dark eyes went wide and she gasped.
Sarada would usually get angry, and give him a witty comeback followed up with an insult. No one dared step on her Uchiha pride. However, her frustration in herself merely intensified ten-fold. Boruto was right. How was she supposed to lead the village and be acknowledged if she couldn't deliver a twenty-minute speech in front of three hundred people?
Her insecurities came rushing out, clawing at her. Naruto knew about her stage fright, which was why he insisted she take on this role in his stead. He wanted Sarada to get over her fear. Naruto was a natural with people, everyone just loved him. For Sarada, it was different. She was an Uchiha. The general view on her and her family varied. She would never admit it, but it always hurt her feelings whenever someone would say mean and judgmental things about her clan—especially if it was about her uncle Itachi.
Sarada tore her gaze away from her teammate. She clutched his vest a little tighter in hopes to relieve her anxiety. He was right. She couldn't become hokage due to this silly fear of hers. What was she even thinking?
Sensing his slip up, Boruto mentally kicked himself and went straight to plan B. He wrapped his arms around her small frame in an embrace, and pulled her close. Her cheek pressed against his chest. Boruto stroked her back up and down, and then in soothing circles.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," he apologized. "You'll do great," Boruto assured her. "I'll be inside the entire time. Just keep your eyes on me."
Sarada sniffled. She was blushing so hard it should be illegal. "Really?"
Boruto chuckled. He could practically hear her pouting through her words. He found it amusing how Sarada always wanted him to say these things out loud, despite knowing what the other was feeling. He knew it wasn't because she didn't trust him. A part of him liked to think she just enjoyed hearing his voice. "Of course!" He beamed. "I'll even walk around so it'll look like you're scanning the crowd."
Sarada laughed. "I have to admit, that's crafty."
He felt her loosen up, but decided to push his luck a little further to lighten her mood. "You're so tense! Come on, let it out!" He lifted his hands to his sides.
Sarada was confused. She pulled away from his chest and looked at him. His smile was full of mischief, but his eyes reflected nothing but sincerity. "I'll let you squeeze me like a stress ball so you can get that tension out of your system."
"What?" She screeched, momentarily letting go of her composure.
He and grinned at her. He loved it whenever she forgot to keep up her stick-in-the-mud-act. "Come on, go ahead!" He was still holding his arms up like a scarecrow. "Squeeze me as hard as you can, just don't break my spine so I can still walk over to the nurses' station," he joked half heartedly.
Sarada gawked at him. What kind of idiot willingly lets someone break his bones, just so I would calm down?
An idiot who had fallen head first into love.
Sarada smiled, shortly it turned into a face splitting grin—it even made her eyes disappear. She couldn't believe this guy, or fathom the lengths he went to support her. A light blush painted her cheeks as she giggled.
Boruto's an idiot, but he's her idiot.
He drank in the sight of her and relished the sound of her giggles. He felt his cheeks heat up, and butterflies flutter in his stomach. Again with this feeling. He looked away and pouted at her. "Shut up and just do it already!" She's such a weirdo.
The young Uchiha composed herself, but she couldn't stop smiling. "Alright, alright."
She stepped closer to him. Boruto shut his eyes tightly, bracing himself for the pain to come. He was expecting her to at least break a few ribs, and prayed to Kami even harder that was all he was going to get. Boruto knew it would hurt like hell, but he could easily have it healed. This speech was important to her, and he had to make sure it went well.
Boruto felt her hands touch his chest. He winced out of habit, despite not even feeling any pain yet.
"Stop being such a baby." Sarada rolled her eyes as she placed her hands on his chest, tiptoed, and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. Her lips brushed the corner of his mouth.
Feeling her soft, warm lips on his face, Boruto felt his whole body light up in a blaze. His eye lids flew open and turned to look at her. His daze must have lasted longer than he had expected, as he only saw the Uchiha insignia at the back of her cloak. Her long, raven hair was swaying as she walked into the function hall.
His body reacted far faster than his brain could function. The heat in his body intensified, and his face turned bright red. Boruto's fingers hovered over his cheek. "Wh-wha-"
After a few seconds, Boruto staggered back into the wall, now fully grasping what had happened.
Sarada kissed me.
"WHAAAAAT?!" He shouted.
The people passing by the hallway gave him dirty looks. He was disrupting the quiet needed for the talk.
His thoughts were racing a million miles a second. She kissed me! He screamed in his head as he clamped his hands over his mouth. Oh Kami. She's never kissed me before. His brain couldn't wrap around the concept. Other girls have kissed him before, but this was no 'other girl.' This was Sarada Uchiha.
His face was dark red, and he was still staring at the door that led to the function hall. He heard clapping from the inside. After taking in rapid breaths to calm himself, he finally came into his senses.
He realized why people were clapping—it was Sarada's turn to speak.
"Oh shit!" He staggered into the function room, and saw her climbing up on stage. Boruto ran to the back of the hall.
Sarada could still feel her lips tingle from the kiss. She looked straight ahead as she approached the podium, delaying her need to look at the audience for as long as possible. Finally, she reached the podium and looked at the crowd. The young Uchiha felt her knees go weak, and her mouth suddenly felt dry but when her eyes landed on a mop of blond hair and large blue eyes, she felt all her nervousness flutter away.
Boruto was at the back, waving his arms over his head to catch her attention. Once her gaze rested on him, he gave her two thumbs up and a million-ryo smile. He grinned even wider when he saw her lips curl up.
Sarada couldn't help but feel a smile creep up her face. The sight of him waving his arms around and grinning like an idiot knocked all of her nervousness away. She licked her lips, his taste lingering a little longer as if to encourage her on. She opened her mouth and begun her speech.
After three minutes, Boruto didn't even need to walk around anymore to make it look like Sarada was sweeping her gaze over the audience. She was doing it on her own, and had visibly relaxed. She even placed in a few jokes that everyone seemed to enjoy.
As for the young Uzumaki, he watched her fondly and felt pride swell in his chest for her. She was one step closer to her dream.
His heart tightened and his stomach flopped more and more as he watched her on stage. He was getting all of these strange feelings that he had been feeling since their encounter on her balcony. This is nothing. The heat's probably just getting to me.
He tried to shake it off, and finally convinced himself it was the high temperature that was playing with his thoughts. However, when their eyes met over a crowd of three hundred people for a split second, he felt his resolve melt away and the realization hit him like a thousand chidoris.
Oh shit. I'm in love with Sarada.
A/N: This was one of my favorite chapters to write. It’s also the idea (along with ‘Balconies’ that drove me to write Functions and Feelings. Thank you so much to everyone who has supported my story so far. An even bigger thank you to Poodie and @levadia for beta reading for me. You guys are awesome. <3
Let me know what you thought about this chapter, please!
You can read more of my stories in my fanfic master post or ff.net account.
#borusara#boruto and sarada#sarada and boruto#boruto#sarada#boruto uzumaki#sarada uchiha#functions and feelings#stage fright#fanfiction#borusara fanfic#borusara fic#naruto#naruto fanfiction#boruto fanfiction
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50 Best Fighting Game Final Bosses from Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Tekken, and More
https://ift.tt/2N1eIZQ
When it isn’t about rage-quitting against your best buddy sitting next to you on the couch, or some guy playing against you across the country, fighting games are all about beating the arcade mode. Doing so means defeating the pesky final boss.
We’ve fought so many final bosses over the last 30+ years. Whether they’re godly megalomaniacs or bloodthirsty loners out to prove they’re the best, there are pleny of cheap-ass villains standing in the way of character-specific epilogue cutscenes.
So I’ve decided to rank the 50 best final bosses in fighting game history. This ranking includes both default final bosses and special secret bosses, but they have to be the last guy you fight. That means characters like Goro, Cervantes, Apocalypse, Vega, and Antonov don’t count. I’m also not counting games like Street Fighter Alpha and Vampire Savior where there’s no real set boss and different people have different final opponents, which is why Jedah isn’t on the list.
Now let’s face it straight!
50. JINPACHI MISHIMA
Tekken 5
I think this is the moment when Tekken’s story started going off the rails. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the lore of the series, but after doing a game about Heihachi vs. Kazuya vs. Jin, they decided to go further and bring in Heihachi’s dad. And he’s possessed by a demon because why the hell not.
But really, the reason he’s possessed is because otherwise he’s the one member of the bloodline who isn’t a jerk. That doesn’t make for a good boss design. In Tekken 5, he takes over the Mishima Zaibatsu and sets up a new King of the Iron Fist tournament ASAP just so somebody strong might be able to kill him before he completely loses control and wipes out all life on the planet. His ending cutscene even has him cry blood over this because he’s that hardcore.
The tragedy is that, in the end, he was killed by his great-grandson Jin, but Jin came out of it learning the wrong lesson. Jin, suffering from his own possession problems, went and took over the Mishima Zaibatsu and started a world war as part of an elaborate plan to commit suicide by putting a giant target on his back. It took two more games for him to finally get his head on straight.
49. SILBER
Buriki One
SNK shamelessly ripped off Akuma, but at least the studio did it with style. Coming from the lesser-known fighter Buriki One, Silber is a Victor Creed-looking urban legend who is obsessed with increasing his power and challenging worthy opponents. At the end of the game’s big MMA tournament, when the player is ready to face his fellow finalist, your opponents’s busted carcass is instead knocked through the entranceway like a punted football. The mysterious Silber takes their spot.
Win or lose, Silber’s response is to just quietly jump off and exit the arena. The endings are mainly about the winners being asked by the press what the hell that was even about. And if you unlock Silber and beat the game with him, he just leaves the press hanging by jumping off into the distance.
Silber also appeared as a hidden mid-boss in King of Fighters XI, but his fighting style lacks anything really bombastic. No fireballs or energy explosions or anything like that. Just brutal karate with his flashiest move being a flipping legdrop.
I do really get a kick out of how one of his King of Fighters intros has him throw a non-descript martial artist to the ground before jumping into the fight, like it’s his regular thing to kick some schmuck’s ass and take their spot in a tournament.
48. SHANG TSUNG
Mortal Kombat
Mortal Kombat’s attract mode sold the game by going, “Yo, check out this huge claymation beast with his four arms and topknot! He will break you in half if you even blink!” But this unstoppable monster was actually second to some floating geezer. Surely, that at least had to mean that Shang Tsung was a special kind of threat in his own way.
Indeed he was. A shape-shifter was a fantastic gimmick for a final boss, especially since it jibed with his tendency to eat souls. Even though he was turning into other playable characters, the insinuation was that you were more or less fighting all the dead warriors from the years that he had absorbed into his being. Then Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa played the HELL out of him in the movie and his legendary status was solidified.
While lesser on the totem pole in later games, Shang Tsung regaining his youth made for a good trade. It’s just too bad that once games were on discs and had loading times, Shang’s tendency to morph mid-match took a powder. As one of the final bosses in Deadly Alliance, it just didn’t feel the same. He was just some guy.
47. SOUL EDGE/INFERNO
The Soul Series
As far as I’m concerned, the Inferno concept peaked in the first game. Cervantes was an evil dude, but he was still just a pawn. As shown at the end of that fantastic CGI intro that still holds up to this day, the swords were really running the show. So after taking down Cervantes, the swords came to life to fight you as a more powerful version of Cervantes with a flaming skull head.
The development of Siegfried wielding the Soul Edge and being transformed into Nightmare was a wonderful twist and selling point for the sequel’s storyline, but it made Inferno look a little redundant. The flame body was neat, but he was just Nightmare with a weaker design. Inferno never really had a personality of its own. Then Bandai Namco started having Inferno adopt random movesets, but there are like a dozen characters like that in SoulCalibur.
The concept of Inferno did translate well in SoulCalibur V where they showed that the Soul Calibur sword has its own counterpart in Elysium. It appeared in the form of a scantily-clad Sophitia in order to manipulate Sophitia’s son, Patroklos. Man, Inferno may be evil personified, but at least it didn’t try to seduce Siegfried by turning into his dad in a speedo.
46. MISS X
SNK Gal Fighters
The Neo Geo Pocket Color game SNK Gal Fighters features an all-female roster in a comedic story about a mysterious Miss X putting together a Queen of Fighters tournament, with some kind of wish-granting talisman up for grabs. When you reach the end of the game, you discover that Miss X looks an awful lot like Iori Yagami wearing a mask and a dress. While many of her opponents aren’t fooled, nobody outright says Iori’s name, and Miss X insists she isn’t who they think.
But also, please don’t tell Kyo about this.
Of course, she still fights exactly like Iori Yagami and is flanked by Iori’s former King of Fighters partners Vice, Mature, Billy Kane, and Eiji Kisaragi. Miss X is REALLY committed to the act, but it’s never really explained why she’s created this whole disguise.
Miss X made a few more appearances too, including when Dimitri performs his Midnight Bliss attack on Iori in SNK vs. Capcom: Chaos and as a DLC character in SNK Heroines Tag Team Frenzy.
45. SAGAT
Street Fighter
As the boss of the first Street Fighter game – which nobody really cares about – Sagat being on this list is more of a courtesy. While a difficult opponent, Sagat’s position as a final boss isn’t really that memorable. If anything, he’s defined by his defeat here. It’s why he has that cool scar on his chest, why he suddenly has a Dragon Punch knockoff in the sequel, and it’s the crux for his redemption story and frenemy relationship with Ryu.
Sagat’s spot as the original Street Fighter boss actually helps build up M. Bison and Shadaloo in general. He returns in Street Fighter II, scarred both physically and mentally, while physically stronger and more driven. Yet he is still only the penultimate boss, showing that this time he’s outranked by a big-chinned dictator.
44. ZEUS
World Heroes 2 Jet
World Heroes 2 Jet doesn’t have any character-specific endings. Instead, the endings are based around Zeus, a jacked behemoth who watches your penultimate victory from a balcony, acts jazzed about finding a worthy opponent, then makes the grandest of entrances by flexing off his suit (revealing body armor underneath), walking down some stairs, and kicking the doors off the entranceway.
A regular old pain in the ass, Zeus’ reaction to his defeat is decided by how much health the player has left. If it’s a close match, he’ll berate you until realizing that it was a fun fight. If the player has half a life bar left, he’ll threaten to kill them the next time they meet. If the player has almost all of their health, Zeus will mope as his henchman Jack tries to cheer him up. He insults the player, then cartoonishly cheeses it across the image of a map.
What makes this so golden is the iffy English translations. Here are some of Zeus’ lines from his endings:
“Why you, you, YOU… YOU CRAZY FUNSTER! To think that you were this strong!”
“YOU FILTH, YOU SLIME, YOU LAWYER! To think you had such power… But, heh, heh, heh…it was a crazy, hip time!”
“Hey, you. Still can’t walk and chew bubblegum at the same time? Oh, nooooooo!”
Classic.
43. DARK KAHN
Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe
Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe felt like a joke someone made about Marvel vs. Capcom that someone else took as a serious suggestion. Quality of the game aside, the two worlds meshed well together, which is why we’ve seen the two parties meet up again a few more times. Mortal Kombat and DC, for the most part, didn’t so much match up as they complemented each other.
One pairing in particular matched up perfectly. Darkseid and Shao Kahn were both evil overlords, two peas in a pod. Rather than fight each other or team up, they did one better: they merged.
Dark Kahn isn’t exactly better than the individual characters but this modern Amalgam design still kicks ass. Darkseid’s stony flesh mixed with Shao Kahn’s skull face to create a lava beast who lives to blow up the multiverse.
Dark Kahn IS…OUTSTANDING.
42. MISTER KARATE
Art of Fighting
Just because someone is designed as comic relief doesn’t mean they can’t have their moments of serious competence. See also: Deadpool, Mankind.
Mr. Karate started as the original Akuma type. In Art of Fighting, Mr. Karate was a mysterious mob enforcer who happened to look and fight just like protagonist Ryo Sakazaki, but with a different head and more damaging attacks. In another light, Mr. Karate’s tengu mask could be seen as silly, but considering how brutal he was, it was easy to see it as a threatening symbol of martial arts dominance.
After that game, where it was established that Mr. Karate was Ryo’s father, Takuma Sakazaki, who’d forced to work for the mob, he became a secondary character. He showed up in King of Fighters regularly as just Takuma, but became something of a joke. When he appeared in the Mr. Karate mask, he acted like a total goof and everyone rolled their eyes at his lack of self-awareness. But comedic or not, there were still moments here and there that made him look tougher than the rest of his family combined.
But it was SNK vs. Capcom: Chaos that revitalized him. Depicted as Akuma’s SNK counterpart, Mr. Karate was given both a silly base version and his “serious” boss alter-ego, who reminded the world of what kind of force he was in his Art of Fighting days. Right on.
41. ASMODEUS
Mace: The Dark Age
The Nintendo 64 was lousy when it came to compiling a fighting game library, so we had to do the best with what we had. Mixed in the shallow pile was Mace: The Dark Age, which was like if the guys who made Mortal Kombat were tasked with making a SoulCalibur game. The basic story was roughly the same: an insidious, medieval weapon of ultimate power falls into the hands of evil and everyone wants a piece. The difference was that while the Soul Edge brought demonic chaos in its wake, with its wielders just wandering around destroying stuff, the Mace of Tanis brought demonic order, as its wielder used it to rule Eurasia and its corrupt council.
This created a conflict where everyone wanted a shot at holding the Mace. Not just the heroes, but also conniving members of the Council of Seven because they’re evil and power hungry. And wielding the Mace of Tanis? None other than Asmodeus. His name popped up in exposition dumps but he didn’t even have a pre-fight profile image. You didn’t get to see him until you actually faced him in the final battle and, all in all, he met the hype.
For all of the limitations of the Nintendo 64’s graphics, Asmodeus looked amazing. He appeared as a gigantic, reptilian demon so big that only his upper half was peaking out of a portal. His offense wasn’t much to talk about, as it was mostly just swiping attacks and pounding at his prey, but damn if he didn’t look like how a final boss should look.
40. MUKAI
King of Fighters 2003
The 10th and 11th King of Fighters games released in the final days of the franchise’s classic art style, and included some great designs, like Oswald. But while the bosses in these games looked and moved exceptionally, they were mostly really lame otherwise.
Mukai from King of Fighters 2003 provided a great balance, though. He didn’t have much going on besides being the harbinger for lesser villains, but he looked totally sweet and his stone-based motif led to a fun boss fight that wasn’t too hard to figure out. Admittedly, I’m a sucker for the glowing lava design usually reserved for rock creatures, but making that classic design monochrome feels fresh and absolutely badass.
Too bad he died like a punk in a random cutscene several games later.
39. KULL THE DESPOILER
Way of the Warrior
It’s disappointing to me when a ridiculous and/or stupid fighting game doesn’t have that final boss that just pushes it further into hilarity. I’d love to discuss ClayFighter here, but it’s not like N. Boss or Dr. Kiln were anything to write home about. Tattoo Assassins is a total trip, but there’s not much to say about its big bad Koldan. Death from Time Killers is just lame and ugly to look at.
Way of the Warrior is an extreme piece of garbage and sweet Jesus does that translate to its final boss, Kull the Despoiler.
This 3DO classic is one of several Mortal Kombat knockoffs that tried to cash in on digitized graphics and bloody violence. Other features included a White Zombie soundtrack, hideous backgrounds, a character who just a regular guy’s sprite but enlarged to look like a giant, and a couple boss characters brought to life by mid-‘90s CGI.
After the player has gone through the main cast and a CGI dinosaur named High Abbott (with another CGI dinosaur watching from a throne in the background), we take a trip to the citadel graveyard stage. There’s a memorial statue of the great warrior Kull that suddenly breaks apart to reveal that his living, 8-foot-tall skeleton is inside.
“Not even death shall keep my name from the Book of Warriors!”
You must fight this silly skeleton warrior, who is armed with a bloody hammer and iffy voice-acting, all while the guy who made Devil’s Rejects is singing. A fitting finale for such a game.
38. HEIHACHI MISHIMA
Tekken Series
In terms of pure power, Heihachi is one of the weakest boss characters in relation to his series. He’s played the final boss a few times in the Tekken series, but these fights are always less about him being the ultimate force of destructive evil and more about his importance to the story as a scheming bastard with the occasional redeemable moment as a human being.
It’s also about how he measures up to his son, Kazuya, the would-be protagonist who is ultimately more evil than Heihachi. The first game’s plot focuses on Kazuya as a vindictive monster who smiles at his father’s assumed murder, and Tekken 4 finally brings the three-way generational conflict between Heihachi, Kazuya, and Jin to a head for the first time. Then in Tekken 7’s story mode, Heihachi gets his final battle with Kazuya in a war that’s been ravaging the whole world.
Despite being hilariously unkillable in the past, Heihachi appears to be dead for real now and it’s solidified his true purpose as a final boss: to pass the torch to his son, who is both stronger and straight-up worse as a human being.
37. ATHENA
SNK vs. Capcom: Chaos
If there’s anything resembling a story in SNK vs. Capcom: Chaos (not counting the completely bonkers Hong Kong comic adaptation), it’s that all the street fighting going on in the world has caused havoc on time and space. Beings from the past and future have ended up in the present. By the end, it gets so out of control that by defeating Shin Akuma or Serious Mr. Karate, you create a rift that sends your character to Heaven or Hell.
(Let’s rock!)
If you’re in Hell, you fight Capcom representative Red Arremer from Ghosts ‘n’ Goblins. If you go to Heaven, it’s SNK’s Athena, but not the annoying pop star from the Psycho Soldiers team in King of Fighters. It’s the original SNK Athena from the sidescroller where she’s a bikini-clad goddess. Funny enough, despite there being pre-fight dialogue specific to each pairing, none of the King of Fighters crew pay any lip service to this.
Rather than annoying you with constant screams of, “PSYCHO BAAAWWWWW!!!” this Athena uses lots of summoning and shapeshifting powers to get the better of you. If King of Fighters Athena brought out a giant baby chick to destroy her opponents, I’d probably choose her more often.
If you lose the fight, she transforms you into an animal specific to the fighter. If you win, you get to meet God. Either way, it’s a pretty eventful day.
36. ABYSS
SoulCalibur III
I was thinking of putting Algol on this list before realizing that I have absolutely nothing to say about the guy. He was fine. Nothing especially memorable about him.
In terms of end bosses wielding both the Soul Edge and Soul Calibur, Zasalamel’s final form, Abyss, is where it’s at. Mainly because Zasalamel is one of the last great SoulCalibur characters (along with Grizzled Owl and Harley Quinn Gollum). He’s a fantastic neutral warrior who ironically uses a Grim Reaper scythe despite being cursed with immortality and wanting a permanent death.
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After Zasalamel is transformed into Abyss, you actually begin rooting for Zasalamel to come through. This is his chance to put a stop to his endless cycle of resurrection, but it’s unfortunately turned him into an uncontrollable demon.
In the end, Zasalamel comes out of it better. During the experience, he sees a vision of the future (our present), and after reverting to his normal self, he goes from, “I must use the two swords to kill myself for good!” to “I have to prevent the two swords from ever killing me because the future looks fun as hell!”
Which reminds me, where’s my Zasalamel in Tekken, Harada?!
35. ONAGA THE DRAGON KING
Mortal Kombat: Deception
After Shinnok disappointed Mortal Kombat fans, Midway decided to introduce a new final boss who was a Shao Kahnier Shao Kahn. Fortunately, Onaga worked.
Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance made an effort to clean the slate and start fresh, removing Liu Kang, Shao Kahn, and Goro from the board. Having Shang Tsung and Quan Chi share the final boss spot went against that attempt for freshness, but Midway made up for it by planting the seeds for the sequel.
The whole plot was about introducing the Dragon King – the most Mortal Kombat villain name possible – who ruled Outworld before Shao Kahn. They built up anticipation through the game’s lore without showing him or even outright naming him, and we just knew the heroes were on a collision course with something monstrous. Reptile’s ending, in which his body was possessed and mutated by the Dragon King’s soul, made it definite.
Deception revealed that Shang Tsung and Quan Chi defeated the heroes, but it didn’t matter. Onaga was back and he made the two look like jokes. Things were already dire after the good guys lost, but now there was also this 10-foot-tall tank covered in scales with gigantic dragon wings just sauntering around.
Unfortunately, he got stuck being archenemies with Shujinko and that dude straight-up SUUUUUCKS!
34. NECROSAN
Primal Rage 2
The holy trinity of almost-to-completely-finished fighting games that didn’t get released are Thrill Kill, Tattoo Assassins, and Primal Rage 2. Primal Rage 2 is a fascinating unreleased game that not only had action figures, but a novelization that I would love to read one of these days. It’s always crazy expensive on eBay, though.
The first Primal Rage didn’t have a final boss, but legend has it that Atari Games originally planned to introduce Necrosan in an updated version. Instead, the studio saved him for the sequel, and while the game never saw the light of day, he simply rules too much for me to ignore. Much like King Ghidorah, Necrosan is an alien invader in a world of Terran kaiju. An extremely well-animated winged dragon skeleton coated with muscle tissue, Necrosan looks metal as hell. His backstory complements his look too: he singlehandedly kicked the asses of all the beasts from the first game.
Also cool is the twist that the big meteor that caused the first game’s post-apocalyptic origin was actually an egg housing Necrosan who planned to conquer the planet for his race.
33. KRIZALID
King of Fighters ’99
After spending several years doing the Orochi storyline, King of Fighters finally moved on to something different: mad scientists. The NESTS Cartel was a neat idea in theory, but the further the story went, the more they revealed themselves as dorks. In other words, don’t expect to see Zero or Ignis on this list.
Krizalid had a great look…er, well, his first look. That coat with the fur top covering his jaw was great. The more flexible S&M garb from when he burns it away, not so much. He made for a great first threat in this new story, especially due to how the endings painted him as a tragic figure and made NESTS look like bigger dicks because of it.
For all his posturing, he’s just a deranged clone, pitied by the heroes and exterminated by his bosses at the first opportunity. Then again, maybe they were also annoyed that he got rid of the coat.
32. SHINNOSUKE KAGAMI
Last Blade
The Last Blade games are some of the most underrated titles in the SNK library. Despite only having two installments, the series features plenty of interesting moments, including a redemption arc for its initial villain, Kagami. Originally guard of a portal to evil and darkness, the high-and-mighty Kagami lost his faith in humanity and decided to use that portal to wipe out life on Earth and purge mankind completely. Using his refined swordsman skill and ability to wield flame, he killed a lot of people to help pull off his scheme.
In the end, he was defeated by the hero character Kaede and banished himself into the portal to be tormented. But was resurrected to fulfill his original role as guard of the portal as well as help take down Kouryu, a former victim of his whose reanimated body was possessed by evil from within the portal. This made Kagami second guess his role in the initial adventure, deciding that humans aren’t bound to evil after all and may even be good.
I always liked how he’d have a normal stance in the first round, but after taking a loss, he’d levitate half a foot off the ground. It’s just ominous enough without having to completely change his style.
31. SUPERMAN
Injustice: Gods Among Us
“Evil Superman” has been done to death. It can be used well, but a lot of the time you just end up with Brightburn. Injustice: Gods Among Us did a decent enough job by taking an interesting episode of the Justice League cartoon and leaning harder into it. The main difference between the two Supermen was that, while the animated version was driven, he wasn’t as mentally cracked as his video game self.
The animated Superman still had Metropolis and Lois, but Injustice Superman lost them both at the hands of the Joker. As shown in the better-than-it-has-any-right-to-be comic book tie-in, Superman began his reign of terror by killing the Joker in a fit of anger, and bitterness, time, and betrayals caused him to become obsessed with order and a world where there was no war because he said so. It didn’t help that so many of his superfriends sided with him.
Superman is so regularly pushed as the top guy at DC that it’s not that surprising he’s the final boss in a DC fighting game. In fact, the only way to beat him was to get the good version of Superman to do the job.
30. NU-13
BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger
When I played through BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger’s arcade mode, I made sure to use Ragna the Bloodedge last. The fact that he was the protagonist, yet very rarely appeared as an opponent for everyone else’s arcade mode path made him seem special. This ended up being the right way to play the game as his dialogue with Nu-13 hit me like a train.
BlazBlue’s plot of, “Wait, I think I understand, but… No, you lost me,” means I can’t fully explain what Nu-13’s story is but the gist of it is that she’s some kind of experiment gone wrong and she’s showing up around a portal that’s messing with the time-space continuum. Everyone comes across her in arcade mode and she usually greets them with extremely dry robot talk throughout the boss fight. When she meets with Ragna, she suddenly acts like an excited schoolgirl who has been pining for this guy and writing his initials in her diary. It’s extremely off-putting and unexpected.
As a boss, she’s a great fit for the game, which takes place about 200 years into the future, but Nu-13 is the only one truly diving headfirst into the futuristic look. Even the game’s resident cyborg Tager comes off lacking compared to all the crazy sci-fi shit Nu-13 has going for her.
29. KARNOV
Fighter’s History Series
There is a holy trinity of ’80s video game asskickers who are remembered fondly due to a mix of genuine nostalgia and internet irony: Abobo, Mike Haggar, and Karnov. The latter fighter is a fascinating bloke. Not only did he star in his self-titled platformer game, but developer Data East also decided that this dadbod adventurer should just show up in several of their games like a mascot. This is why Fighter’s History is treated as a sequel to the original Karnov game in which the bored treasure hunter holds a fighting tournament with lots of his money on the line.
Fighter’s History is such an obvious Street Fighter II clone that Capcom tried suing Data East. The game’s only real saving grace is the use of Karnov as the carrot to lead you to the end. And while the sequel/update of the game is just the same cast with the bosses playable, Karnov looks completely different. In the first game, he’s completely jacked, albeit extremely short. In the next game, he’s taller and fat with a nasty stomach scar and has moves that allow him to morph his body like Jake from Adventure Time.
I suppose if it wasn’t weird, it wouldn’t be Karnov.
28. PYRON
Darkstalkers Series
When the gimmick of your game is that all your characters are Japanese takes on classic monsters, it’s only logical that the biggest threat is extraterrestrial. Pyron is far from the best alien in a video game, but he does the job here as both Silver Surfer and Galactus wrapped in one.
Seriously, look at his ending. If he can turn as big as the sun, he probably could have saved time by leading with that. But what do I know? I’m just a human who hasn’t been murdered by a vampire with stupid hair.
Pyron gets by with his design, which looks absolutely beautiful in that mid-‘90s Capcom arcade animation. The rippling energy waves of cosmic flame almost make you forgive him for what he was like on that terrible Saturday morning cartoon show.
27. MASTER HAND
Super Smash Bros. Series
Chucking a bunch of Nintendo icons into a game and trying to make a narrative out of it is a fool’s errand. Luckily, Nintendo didn’t overthink it too much and just decided, “They’re figurines or something having an imaginary battle.” It’s Lego Movie meets Secret Wars.
And after so many dream fights like Mario vs. Link and Kirby vs. Yoshi, who would be at the top of the ladder to threaten the heroes? Bowser? Ganon? Andross? King Slender?
No. It’s a hand. Just a big, disembodied glove dead set on crushing the player. I suppose Nintendo didn’t need to have a recognizable final foe. The four-way Nintendo slugfest was enough. So why not have a big hand that can do silly big hand attacks? It’s just the bizarro icing on the cake at this point.
I love how random Master Hand is. It’s a boss fight version of the Toy Story toys revolting against Sid the bully. With every new game, Nintendo had tried to add needless context, and this has caused Master Hand to expand into transcendent final boss concepts like Crazy Hand and Tabuu. That’s just a special kind of weird. Imagine creating a giant hand as your villain and then in each sequel thinking to yourself, “How do we build on that?”
26. KRONIKA
Mortal Kombat 11
Despite rebooting the series’ winding and convoluted storyline, Mortal Kombat 9 ended on a low note. Sure, Shao Kahn was dead, but so were most of the heroes just as Shinnok was preparing to make his own move. Meanwhile, Mortal Kombat X, while not having the happiest ending, culminated with most of the major threats taken off the board. Kahn was still dead, Quan Chi was dead, Shinnok was just a head, and Onaga’s resurrection was prevented. Things were looking up for once!
But in Moral Kombat 11, a cosmic Tilda Swinton appeared as not just Shinnok’s mother, but as a meta representation of video game designers at odds with the story. Kronika wants good and evil to war with each other on equal enough footing forever. The status quo doesn’t allow enough juice for what she wants, so her plans include bringing back dead characters with a hand wave, reverting characters who have developed farther than she cares for, and even rebooting the franchise itself.
Even her kind, the Titans (higher up on the chain than the Elder Gods), play into this. Scorpion’s ending shows that reality simply won’t exist without the backstory that his wife and child were killed, all because the Titans deemed it so. These games are getting dangerously close to the fourth wall.
Meta or not, Kronika is a fantastic addition to the Mortal Kombat mythos. That endless time-reverse Fatality of hers is one of the highlights of that game’s many kills.
25. ULTRON SIGMA
Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite
Despite its huge roster, Marvel vs. Capcom 3 didn’t have much in terms of Capcom-based villains. Plus, the big boss was Galactus. Where do you even go from Galactus in a sequel? For Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite, bringing Galactus back was a no-no due to Disney being stingy with the Fantastic Four property at the time.
But Capcom had a pretty good solution. First, introduce Sigma from Mega Man X into the world of fighters. Second, bring in box office superstar (at the time) Ultron. Third, take a page out of Dark Kahn’s book and merge the two into one being. They’re robots. Robots love that shit.
For the record, the most hyped I got for this game was the stinger on the announcement trailer where they showed a shadowy Ultron sitting on a throne with Sigma’s glowing eyes appearing on his torso.
Not only do you get each meatbag-hating robot on their own and in merged form, but then there’s the over-the-top design of their final form. Transforming into a nightmarish and gaudy final form is Sigma’s MO, so it’s nice to see Ultron just go with it.
Yeah, Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite didn’t have staying power, but it did have a giant Sigma head with Ultron’s body sticking out…as well as that head-scratching plot point where Thanos made a gauntlet powered by Ryu’s inner evil for the sake of throwing fireballs at Death. See, that’s why you need arcade mode endings in games like these. Let your crossover freak flag fly.
24. VICTOR ORTEGA
Ring of Destruction
Saturday Night Slam Masters is remembered well enough, partially due to its SNES port, but few talk about its sequel Ring of Destruction, which had more of an emphasis on fighting game mechanics. Players of only the first game would still recognize Victor Ortega, as he’s the Billy Graham/Hulk Hogan guy in the intro, tearing his shirt off. Though not part of the game’s roster, his identity is revealed if you’re able to beat the game without losing a single match.
This mountain of muscle was a previous CWA champion who was so dominant in the ring that he left out of boredom. Getting the first game’s best ending has Ortega return to challenge your wrestler, ending in a cliffhanger.
The sequel is about the Capcom Wrestling Association being invaded by heels representing the Blood Wrestling Association. This situation piques Ortega’s interest, as hewants the last man standing to challenge him for the title. He proves to be a pain in the ass to take on — not only can he uppercut so hard that fireballs fly out but he was busting out jumping Yoshi Tonics all the way back in 1994!
23. ZANKURO MINAZUKI
Samurai Shodown Series
In fighting games, having a katana means getting some extra range and damage. In a series like Samurai Shodown, what does one do for an extra range advantage when everyone is armed with a sword? Easy. Create an 8-foot-tall Brock Samson samurai guy with a katana befitting of his size.
Zankuro is one of the rare examples of a character who talks about “the demon within” but isn’t actually possessed by one. Ryu is a good person despite having a magical dark force inside him threatening to turn him into a rage zombie. Zankuro is just an asshole. He slaughtered villages of people because killing people is his vice. And really, who’s got the skill to get in his way and tell him to stop?
But the outcome is inevitable. He has to die. In Samurai Shodown III, Zankuro had a fake-out death followed by a real death, just as he lamented his horrible acts. He was be sorry about his sins, but sidestepped having to live with them.
Except…he keeps getting resurrected.
22. DIO BRANDO
Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure
It’s kind of crazy how popular Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure has become in the US in the past few years, especially when you look back at how niche it was in the late ‘90s when Capcom’s Jojo fighter hit the arcade, Dreamcast, and PlayStation. Back then, the best you could do was find some low-quality manga scans and hope that someone online could translate them. All Capcom had was the manga and a few episodes of an anime, but they still managed to turn those into a kickass video game adaptation.
Dio was a major part of this. His moves and animation set him up as someone who could be cold and collected one moment and a slinking psychopath the next. The way he’d jump off-screen, return with a steamroller, and smash you with it while laughingly clawing at the vehicle defined what kind of series-carrying villain he really was.
The biggest mark against him is that regular boss Dio is not nearly as cool as his faceless counterpart Shadow Dio, based on the stretch of the manga when nobody knew what Dio’s powers actually were but understood that he was scary as hell.
21. WOLFGANG KRAUSER
Fatal Fury Series
SNK did Krauser dirty. His appearances in Fatal Fury 2 and Fatal Fury Special made him the most epic boss fight of the era. First off, the dude was so jacked that he was able to burst out of his chest armor with a mere flex. Second, he got this epic line:“I’ll chisel your gravestone! Sleep well!” Most importantly, his background music was only a version of “Dies Irae” but it was played by own personal orchestra during that fight!
Dude wasn’t even up to no good. He was just an intense man who wanted a good fight. Even in defeat, he stood back up to dramatically yell, “You were perfect! I have met…my match…” before collapsing. Legendary presentation.
Unfortunately, then we got the second Fatal Fury anime, where SNK inexplicably got rid of Krauser’s amazing purple mustache. Why would you do such a thing? That mustache never did anything wrong.
He was almost completely forgotten by the time King of Fighters rolled around. He appeared in King of Fighters ’96 with a lanky redesign that made it look like he had a swimmer build, but everyone knows that Krauser needs to look like 2003 Triple H.
Oh, well. At least they didn’t get Ray Park to play him in a movie.
20. FERNANDEZ
Waku Waku 7
Waku Waku 7 is one of the liveliest and enjoyable fighting games that nobody has ever heard of. With one installment to its name, this Sunsoft creation has a handful of anime archetypes and knockoffs fight to free a magical fairy and earn a wish. In order to release the fairy, they have to grow into a giant and take on the kaiju known as Fernandez.
Known as Fernandeath in Japan, Fernandez is a large, black ball with a smiley face, bat wings, ball-shaped limbs, and a glowing aura. The giggling beast seems cute at first, but the more time you spend with it, the creepier and more malevolent it becomes. Its eyes turn red, it sometimes has pointy teeth, and at times it’ll turn full-on demonic.
There are some silly move animations thrown in there, but getting devoured and then shot out of its butt like a cannon can’t be the most enjoyable experience out there.
19. JUSTICE
Guilty Gear
Guilty Gear gets a lot of flack for its confusing plot and ridiculous titles, but the gist of the story is unique and surprisingly simple: Once upon a time, humanity took part in a devastating war called the Crusades, where they fought against robo-mutants (a cross between SkyNet and the Age of Apocalypse) and barely survived. Now, with the world reaching borderline utopia, it’s constantly threatened by the possibility of going back to the bad old days. In other words, we missed out on seeing the exciting, explosive, action-packed era of this fictional world, but we absolutely have to prevent that from happening again.
Adding to the terror is that Justice was never fully destroyed in that war. She was simply sealed away for all eternity, which never lasts in fiction. In the first Guilty Gear, losing to this lizard mech meant endless death and destruction. But through her defeat at the hands of Sol Badguy, we not only got a tragic origin story for our main hero that explained what the hell a “Guilty Gear” is, but Justice opened up this world to the possibility that the Crusades could return in various ways despite her death.
18. BRAINIAC
Injustice 2
When your first game is all about Batman taking down an evil Superman, where do you go for the sequel? Easy. You figure out a threat so huge that both Batman and Superman have to put their feud on hold in order to save Earth. The logical choice is Darkseid, but NetherRealm went in a smarter direction with Brainiac. Even though he’s an established character in other continuities, Brainiac had yet to show up in any form in Injustice canon, so the studio could treat him as a brand new threat.
He was the perfect fit, too. Since he was the one responsible for blowing up Krypton, the game used this backstory to also introduce Supergirl and gave us a villain that Superman would hate just as much as the Joker. Even in defeat, Brainiac’s plan created another violent moral argument between Batman and the murderous Superman.
Above all else, Brainiac felt like a big deal. His moves during the boss fight made him seem like an even more advanced take on Doc Ock. The inside of his space ship added to his cyber nightmare aesthetic, too. Last but not least, he was voiced by Jeffrey Combs, whose chilling delivery made him sound like the most menacing threat in the universe.
Sorry, Darkseid.
17. THE GENERAL
Kaiser Knuckle
Kaiser Knuckle is your average Street Fighter II knockoff from the early days of fighting games, and there’s only one reason anyone remembers it at all. That reason is the General.
At first glance, he’s little more than a blatant ripoff of M. Bison. Then you fight him. Without a doubt, the General is the absolute hardest boss in fighting game history. He’s unbelievable. Not only are his attacks unfair variations of Bison’s offense, but he has a move where he releases Green Lantern construct projections of himself in various directions.
He’s an afront to God and when he wins the round and calls himself a perfect soldier, it’s hard to argue.
16. RYO SAKAZAKI
Fatal Fury Special
Some time after Mortal Kombat gave us Reptile and mere months before Street Fighter gave us Akuma, Fatal Fury Special introduced a very special hidden boss: Ryo Sakazaki. Sure, King of Fighters ’94 would be released within a year, but this was our first time seeing a major SNK fighting game crossover. This was the first Terry vs. Ryo matchup.
One of the reasons this debut hits so hard for me is that Ryo and the Art of Fighting crew never seemed to be too prominent in the King of Fighters games. There are two main continuities when it comes to SNK’s fighters. King of Fighters puts everything together and says it all coexists in the same era. Meanwhile, Art of Fighting, Fatal Fury, Buriki One, and Savage Reign are on a staggered timeline. With Art of Fighting taking place in the ‘70s, it means that the Ryo in Fatal Fury games and Buriki One is a hardened, middle-aged legend and not just another young upstart like he is in King of Fighters.
In other words, Ryo showing up in Fatal Fury Special isn’t just an early crossover, but a passing of the torch.
15. EYEDOL
Killer Instinct
Killer Instinct always valued character designs first and everything after. Ninja, robot, dinosaur, T&A secret agent, boxer, Native American, skeleton, werewolf, ice creature, and fire guy. Then came the story.
To that effect, Eyedol, much like Spinal, is a tribute to the stop-motion fantasy movie monsters of the old days. Specifically, he’s a two-headed version of the cyclops from the 7th Voyage of Sinbad. He made for a memorable final battle, thanks in part to the cheap-ass healing ability that he’d spam while the other fighter recovered in between rounds.
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Eyedol was the last classic character released for the Killer Instinct reboot, and they redesigned the HELL out of him. Depicted as a holy chosen champion turned demonic and ogre-like due to his own ego, Eyedol’s two-headed cyclops look was explained as the result of having his head cleaved in half down the middle, then being resurrected. The wound is healed, but not undone, resulting in some gnarly body horror.
Much respect to his old ending, which was not only a parody of Blanka’s Street Fighter II ending, but by having his would-be mother refer to him as “Billy,” it becomes both a sly reference to Double Dragon (Billy and Jimmy) and musician Billy Idol.
Get it?
14. GILL
Street Fighter III
Following up on M. Bison was never going to be easy. For a long time, he was the poster boy for fighting game final bosses. For the third major installment, Capcom needed to introduce someone who felt different but also as big a threat as his predecessor. Rather than introducing “M. Bison’s boss” or “M. Bison’s dad,” the studio instead went in a completely original direction with Gill. Was he powerful? Yes. Did he use street fighting tournaments as a front for some kind of maniacal scheme? Yes again. Was he the ultimate evil? Well…I guess that depends on your thoughts on organized religion.
Rather than a villain delusional enough to call himself a god, Gill might as well BE a god. And he both wants to be virtuous, but he’s also an egomaniac about it. It’s definitely a fresh take on the mustache-twirling monsters in these games. Even Alex, the main character of Street Fighter III, only wants to fight him to get revenge after for his mentor, who Gill beat so bad in a street fight they had to send him to the hospital. Alex doesn’t seem to really care about the whole new world order cult gimmick.
With Street Fighter III being such a beautiful-looking sequel, Gill also brought the novelty of an asymmetric 2D character who wasn’t just mirrored when he looked in the opposite direction (i.e. Sagat’s eyepatch switching eyes depending on where he’s facing). That fit well with Gill’s mastery over fire and ice.
Screw him for that cheap resurrection power, though.
13. KING LEO/TRUE KING LION
Savage Reign
A lot of times in fiction, futuristic designs are based on the decade when they were conceived. That’s how we got King Leo, a villainous champion in the future of the Fatal Fury/Art of Fighting timeline, who looks hilariously try-hard ‘90s. The angular mask/boots/codpiece combo, the boxing gloves with sword, the ridiculous flat-top mullet, the cap, the ab window, etc. He has it all. He is pure extreme.
In both Savage Reign and its sequel Kizuna Encounter, he’s playable but not really. King Lion is selectable from the beginning, but it becomes apparent that he and the final boss are two different entities. Playable King Lion is an impostor meant to test the challengers, while King Leo is the far more powerful real deal.
Even when Jyazu appears in Kizuna Encounter as the actual final boss by impaling King Leo with his giant sword, King Leo is still able to later shrug off that major wound in a post-credits sequence. God, I wish that game had a follow-up.
12. GALACTUS
Marvel vs. Capcom 3
I’m surprised it took Capcom so long to bring in Galactus. The studio had the giant boss thing going in its Marvel games with Apocalypse, Onslaught, and whatever the hell Abyss was, and probably should have gone with Galactus for Marvel vs. Capcom 2, but I guess Capcom wanted to do multiple forms for the battle and that’s what Abyss brought to the table. Fortunately, Marvel vs. Capcom 3 finally brought in the Eater of Worlds.
Galactus isn’t the kind of guy who is supposed to get taken down by Ryu and Wolverine, but considering Capcom made a Marvel fighter where Spider-Man can take down an omnipotent Thanos, and that there’s an in-story reason that Galactus isn’t at 100%, one can give this story a pass. He still fights like Galactus should with cosmic energy beams flying all over the place.
Probably the best thing about him is his silly appearances in various endings, like being put on trial with Phoenix Wright as his defense lawyer or an annoyed Wolverine telling X-23 to get Galactus’ defeated body off his lawn.
11. MARIE KORBEL
Skullgirls
The Skull Heart from Skullgirls is terrifying and interesting enough to build a fighting game story around. It’s a demonic relic powerful enough to grant you any wish you’d like, but it will possess you in time. How fast it possesses you depends on how selfish your wish is, but the sad fact is that no matter how altruistic or heroic your actions are, every wish is selfish on some level. To use the Skull Heart is to damn yourself and doom everyone else.
That’s the tragedy of Bloody Marie. She grew up an orphan, abused and treated as a slave. Her thirst for vengeance was justified, but it didn’t make a difference. As the all-powerful Skullgirl, it was only a matter of time before she lost herself completely and slaughtered everyone. This struggle translated to her appearance, which seemed normal enough…until you notice the glowing, bare ribs peeking out the side.
Marie has several forms, and each one depicts her as being less in control until she’s just scraps of bone being manipulated by the Skull Heart. Defeating her not only means wiping out a young girl who really doesn’t deserve it, but for some of her challengers, it means they’re walking towards their own tragedy with the Skull Heart.
10. ONSLAUGHT
Marvel vs. Capcom
Capcom pulled off a miracle when it made Onslaught cool.
In general, Onslaught is like the Star Wars prequels. A solid idea in bullet points, but terrible in practice. The idea of an insane Xavier/Magneto/Juggernaut hybrid commandeering all the Sentinels and becoming such a threat to the Marvel heroes that the only way to stop him is to send a purified version of the Hulk after him sounds so awesome, but…well, ‘90s comics are ‘90s comics.
Marvel vs. Capcom’s Onslaught makes for such a sweet boss fight and is a big improvement over Apocalypse, who bypassed the normal-sized battle for the sake of immediately turning giant. Onslaught is Magneto on steroids, who turns into Apocalypse on steroids, and works because ‘90s Capcom was so damn untouchable.
We’re at a point in pop culture where War Machine is a mainstream superhero and “Lethal Protector” Venom made more in the box office than the Justice League. Onslaught is still considered a very specific time capsule that’s yet to be redeemed, which makes Capcom’s use of him here that much more impressive.
9. OGRE
Tekken 3
Tekken is like WWE where it’s so much better when isn’t focusing on the old man running things and his shitty family. When the bosses aren’t part of the Mishima bloodline, they’re usually some kind of unearthly being. You have your Egyptian demigod, you have your goth lady wearing sludge overalls, and you have your Aztec God of Fighting.
Ogre is the one Tekken boss who doesn’t directly tie into the Mishima family. It’s refreshing and makes the whole world feel bigger. He’s a completely unrelated force who reveals himself by beating the crap out of different mainstays in between Tekken 2 and 3. Granted, it was more impressive early on because Ogre got credit for wiping out so much of the early cast. But those guys returned in later games, and it seems Ogre only really killed the first King and MAYBE Jun, who sucks so good for Ogre.
Outside of non-canon stuff, Ogre didn’t last long in the Tekken series, but his death brought forth the rivalry between Heihachi and Jin, springboarding the Mishima war into a new direction. It was also explained that the Ancient Ogre form was defeated by Paul Phoenix, which is sadly one of the last times that character was treated like an actual threat.
8. OROCHI
King of Fighters ’97
Nailing the landing on a long-running story isn’t easy, and it’s truly impressive when a franchise pulls it off. Fans of Avengers: Endgame know that feeling well.
While the first King of Fighters game was all about Rugal, his return in King of Fighters ’95 built on the idea that he was tapped into a greater power that dwarfed him. Then King of Fighters ’96 continued that by showing us Goenitz, who was also a player in Orochi’s game. Even Iori Yagami – an antihero who wanted nothing to do with the evil god – was powerless to be anything but its bloodthirsty pawn.
King of Fighters ’97 not only acted as the climax to this whole saga, but it really felt like the peak of the whole franchise. There were great King of Fighters games afterwards, but this was where everything really felt like it lined up. And so, after all this build up, we got a team of Orochi worshippers, two insane pawns slaughtering in his name, and one guy so insane and bloodthirsty to start with that he shrugged off the magical need to go feral. Then by the time you got to Orochi, he felt like a true final boss that they spent several years building towards. He was the right level of malevolent celestial being and, while challenging, was never too hard compared to other SNK bosses.
As the exclamation point, most endings in the game warned that he’d be back someday. The only way to truly do away with him was to beat the game with a very specific trio of fighters, which happened to trigger one of the coolest endings in the series. The following arcs of King of Fighters would try to build towards other masterminds, but none of them held a candle to Orochi.
7. DIZZY
Guilty Gear X
As I said earlier, the true conflict of the Guilty Gear series is that shit was bad long ago, and the heroes have to keep the world from unwinding back into that chaos. When it came to the villainous Justice, things were pretty cut and dry. Justice had been released from her prison, cloned, and even resurrected at times. But Dizzy was a deeper take on the idea. She is the daughter of Sol Badguy and/or Justice and is an omega-level threat who could very well relaunch the war between humans and Gears.
It just so happens that she’s also an innocent, young woman who just wants a peaceful existence, someone who just wants to be left alone where she can’t hurt anyone. Despite being possibly the most powerful character in the series (give her Instant Kill attack in Guilty Gear Xrd a look), Dizzy is left alone in the end. She ends up finding friends, love, and even has a son.
6. THANOS
Marvel Super Heroes
Marvel Super Heroes is a very loose adaptation of Infinity Gauntlet, and that’s part of the reason the final battle with Thanos work so well. You spend all game accumulating Infinity Gems, adding more power-up options to each fight. Then Thanos steals them away and you have to take on a fully-Gauntleted Mad Titan in front of a backdrop very reminiscent of the big heroes vs. Thanos fight from Infinity Gauntlet.
Now, for those of you who haven’t read the comic that inspired Avengers: Infinity War, Thanos got the Infinity Gauntlet and became omnipotent. A bunch of heroes dogpiled him, and Thanos even gave himself a handicap to make it the slightest bit challenging, but the heroes still lost BADLY.
So here you are, playing as Spider-Man or Iron Man or whoever, having to have a kickass one-on-one brawl with Thanos and having to do alone what almost 20 superheroes couldn’t do in the comics. But because fighting games exist in a reality where everyone can win (and not just Jim Starlin’s Jim darlings), everyone — from Psylocke to Juggernaut — stands a chance at dethroning Thanos and truly earning the Infinity Gauntlet.
5. RUGAL BERNSTEIN
King of Fighters Series
I’m a huge fan of this character despite his tendency to be a bullshit SNK boss. Fighting him in King of Fighters ’94 should be banned by the Geneva Convention. It’s just that…man, the dude has so much swagger and radiates such coolness that I can’t hate him. He’s Rugal Goddamn Bernstein and we’re better for knowing him.
As with most early villains of fighting games, Rugal is overshadowed by his replacements. Shang Tsung works for Shao Kahn. Sagat works for M. Bison. Heihachi is the son of Jinpachi. Eyedol is the rival of Gargos. Geese is the weaker brother to Krauser. Rugal got the ball rolling in his own way as a way to build to the Orochi storyline, which practically defined all the following King of Fighters storylines. Yet in the end, despite being the first step in the saga and being killed for good during the second entry, Rugal has solidified himself as THE villain of King of Fighters. Dream match games and non-canon adventures tend to just go with Rugal as the final boss by default, usually with some extra bell and whistle, my favorite being God Rugal from Capcom vs. SNK 2. A coked up Rugal with Akuma gimmicks is my kind of boss battle.
Rugal is mostly a collection of awesome motifs and special attacks, but I also love that he’s just as defined by his number one weakness. Yes, he’s good enough to crush a team of three like nobody’s business, but he has his physical limits and his downfall is that he doesn’t see that. In canon and as God Rugal, he loses because he absorbs and uses up too much power for his body to handle. It’s nice when a villain is done in by their inability to leave well enough alone.
4. SHAO KAHN
Mortal Kombat Series
The worst thing I can say about Shao Kahn is that, while I dig the way his latter appearances lean into his “painted on the side of your van” metal design, he will never be as completely rad as he was in Mortal Kombat 2 and 3. Probably because loud growling doesn’t hold a candle to his eerie whisper and proud laughter.
Kahn is more intimidating than most bosses. The attract sequence in Mortal Kombat 2 showed a silhouette of Kahn reading Shang Tsung the riot act followed by a more direct look at his appearance, and it was immediately clear that this guy was absolute trouble. The first game tried to make Goro seem terrifying, but we knew that he was still second to Shang Tsung. Shao Kahn was THE boss, and we knew that, even if we climbed up that ladder (with Kahn STANDING ON TOP A MOUNTAIN), Kahn would be the end of us.
And a lot of the time he was. He would beat you with a war hammer, kick you across the room, and taunt you and you’d love him for it. He was so perfect as a boss that Midway simply had to bring him back for the next game.
Even after taking a backseat in the subsequent games, Mortal Kombat Armageddon’s story revitalized him by making him the winner of what was essentially the Mortal Kombat Royal Rumble. It was such a tragic turn of events that Raiden had to go back in time to stop it. Even with nearly all the good guys dead, it was all deemed worth it just because Kahn was killed. At least for a few years.
3. M. BISON
Street Fighter Series
As a kid, I was always confused about why this bus driver was running his own fighting tournament, but that feeling was replaced by my rage at his damn slide kick and arm-hook throw combo. You have fire-hand powers. You don’t need to be that smooth, dude.
Bison isn’t as deep a character as Sagat or as hardcore as Akuma or as naked as Gill, but he is possibly the hammiest final boss in the history of fighting games. All the various actors who have portrayed the character seem to be taken by the infectious fun that comes with playing him, whether it’s Raul Julia in the first live-action movie, Gerald C. Rivers and Kenji Utsumi in the games, Richard Newman on the cartoon, and, hell, even Neal McDonough had his moments in that crappy Chun-Li movie.
As the first final boss that anyone ever cared about, Bison is a wonderful pile of escalating craziness. Over time, he’s become a comedically-jacked guy with a constant smile whose plots involve Buddha statues with laser faces, running over Ryu with a bigass truck, shoving his soul into gender-swapped clones, and dropping satellites onto civilization for the sake of causing chaos. Capcom can try to write him out of the series, but he’s just too iconic to destroy for good.
2. AKUMA
Street Fighter Series
It’s crazy to think how Electronic Gaming Monthly did an April Fools’ joke about there being an enhanced version of Ryu as a secret final boss in Street Fighter II and Capcom decided, yes, that’ll do. That’s how one of the most iconic fighting game characters ever was born.
“Ryu but darker and more powerful” could have ended badly, but Akuma’s always shined as the X-factor of Street Fighter’s roster. He’s more than just an evil final boss. He’s a malevolent force that is somehow neither good nor evil…which is for the best, considering Capcom eventually labeled M. Bison as literal pure evil.
What’s funny to me is how Mortal Kombat introduced the idea of the hidden boss fight with Reptile, then gradually turned him into the biggest jobber in Mortal Kombat lore. Akuma showed up, wiped out M. Bison with his so-powerful-we-can’t-even-show-you super move, gave you a nigh-impossible boss fight, and then Capcom made sure to keep him going as the guy who will make you shit your pants every time he shows up. When SNK made its SNK vs. Capcom crossover game, the team even put an ending in there where a bored Akuma challenged God to a fight.
1. GEESE HOWARD
Fatal Fury Series
As fighting games are ensemble pieces, so are their storylines most of the time. Fatal Fury, not so much. Fatal Fury is really the story of Terry Bogard vs. Geese Howard with a bunch of supporting characters. Even Andy Bogard, who has just as much a reason to be the protagonist as Terry, is relegated to being “the guy who is reluctant to sleep with his hot girlfriend.” Fatal Fury is really about Terry and Geese and everyone else is, at best, an extension of the two of them.
Geese is everything you could ever want in a final boss, unless you’re looking for a giant shooting lasers out his eyes. He’s slick as oil and tougher than brick, with a moveset that’s based around throwing you like a ragdoll or blasting you into the stratosphere. He’s the right balance of difficult enough to make you curse, but not cheap enough to make you throw the controller through your screen.
Not only is he unique in battle, but he just has so much personality. His cockiness is on another level. His every gesture makes him look like he knows he’s superior to everyone else in every way, but kicking their ass is a better use of his time than whatever else he has planned. Even his counter moves (“PREDICTABLE!”) make him seem untouchable.
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His canon death scene in the Fatal Fury games is also second to none. Hanging off a tower rooftop, he sees Terry reach his hand out. Rather than be saved and maybe even forgiven by Terry, Geese chooses to smack it away, let go, and fall to his death while looking up at the winner and laughing maniacally at him. What a boss way to go.
The post 50 Best Fighting Game Final Bosses from Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Tekken, and More appeared first on Den of Geek.
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Star Wars SPOILERS Review
Ever since TLJ, the question lingers in my mind with every Star Wars related thing to come out “will they take it seriously?” It’s probably my biggest fear for Star Wars to date. Do they overwrite everything and try to reverse TLJ? And do they purposely try to subvert expectations so much that it seems like nothing matters?
I want to decrypt some of the things I said in my nonspoiler review but for the most part I will mention new things that I didn’t say. Forgive me if I state the obvious but some people haven’t realized the literal meaning behind some things.
My favorite thing about this movie is Ben and Rey. If you’re a Reylo shipper, you’ll like it but also be hurt. I wasn’t one way or the other with that. But instead of the constant fighting between Palpatines and Skywalkers, we’re given the end, the “marriage” if you will, though they didn’t get married, just kissed, between the grandson and granddaughter. It's a game of opposites, Kylo is in a way the opposite of Vader with Vader “wanting the girl until he met the dark side” vs Kylo's “wanting the dark side until he met the girl” and Rey is in a way the opposite of Palps. You see how Rey looks at him and heals him when she realizes his mom just died, she felt sorry, they were both sad and shared in that moment. Episode 3, Skywalker saves Palpatine(though they say that was just to get Anakin on his side, he could’ve beat Windu) but in Episode 9 Skywalker saves Palpatine again. Before he dies, we are given the best version of Ben. Though I did hear that Ben didn’t have any lines after he turned good...I mean...you’re not wrong? They really didn’t make him say anything though? Also I thought maybe Ben gave back the life force that Rey gave him on the Death Star, returning the gift, so to speak. Now...with that said, did we need to see Ben die? This is something a lot of people seem to be sad about, mainly the shippers. I mean I feel like people would say there weren’t any consequences if he didn’t but I also want to call back (I know it’s been shown over and over but the new trilogy doesn’t listen) to when George Lucas said during the original trilogy that nobody needed to die because we go to see a movie to be uplifted.
So really it’s kind of a mixed bag, you could say he finished his arc but then again so did Rey, so did everybody, maybe it’s punishment for what he’s done, but I feel like he could have more chances to atone for himself, is he redeemed by having that moment? Did he even need to be there? Could Rey have handled it on her own? I really don’t know what to say here.
I will say though that I felt like Ben went down the road of never coming back in TLJ, but it didn’t make it surprising that he came back, in fact it almost seemed obvious because Palpatine came back, Ben wasn’t going to follow orders again, he just took out Snoke, why would he do that? He would try and do things his own way, he would try and follow what Darth Vader always had in mind about overthrowing and we know there weren’t going to be 2 villains. Also during that end scene it looks like he’s just wearing an Under Armor shirt, you could’ve complained saying “he took all that time to get changed or else he could’ve saved Rey sooner” but still, he should’ve had a light side outfit. But I don’t like the idea that he’s the reason the original 3 died. He killed Han in the first one, had a fight that pushed Luke past his limit in the second, and had Leia try to bring him back one last time in the third. Also we get the message that you can choose your family, Rey chose everybody as her “family” then took on the Skywalker name, blood isn’t everything. The title is about her but also Ben, Ben rises as a Skywalker once again and Rey rises as a jedi.
I thought the ending would be a force ghost fight but it didn’t end up happening which I’m kind of glad but we still got the “I’m all the sith” “I’m all the Jedi” and she says it like the “And I...am Iron Man” well this all started with Korra “I’m all the Avatars” I know this would’ve been fan service and you can see some cameo ships in that one scene but you don’t see any recognizable characters, it would be more effective if we actually saw these characters. Speaking of, they have cameo voices in Rey’s head, you can barely make them out and it’s cool to hear them but still, force ghosts would’ve been cool too, not to fight but to see like maybe on Tatooine.
People complain about how Rey and Palp are too OP in the end. I heard a rant from a former Lucas prodigy that the force balances itself out so the light will take its hosts and the dark will take its. In the prequels we see tons of Jedi and sith that they have to share the force in a way but with the new sequel trilogy...those were the only ones of each side so of course the force would infuse everything it had into them, that’s why they had “all the Jedi and sith”
Also Palp died by his own hand because Rey was just reflecting his attack and he knew they could both heal/bring back the dead so which he says something like “I haven’t saw that in a long time” a callback to his master Darth Plagueis. Speaking of, what I’ve seen a lot of people complain about is that “Jedi can use healing so it breaks the universe” but that’s not the impression I got. Palp says that quote so I got the impression that only certain people can use it, it’s not a force power everybody can use and I imagine either he couldn’t use it or you can’t use it on yourself (which would make sense since you use your own life force) which then made him change his mind about Rey killing him and drain both their power. So no, I don’t think anybody could have used it before, for some reason it just so happens that these two can. So if you’re going to complain, complain about convenience. He might have been talking about the force facetime relationship the two have but still, I think he saw that they both had the power, Ben can do what Rey can and Rey can do what Ben can.
We see a tank of Snokes which leads me to believe Palp was trying to create a new body? I mean he says he “made him” either through training or literally, not much beyond that.
I knew as soon as they found D-O that he would have some sort of connection or map to Exogal and yep, he did in a way but what was the point if Rey was just going to lead them anyway? I know it connected to that Jedi Hunter but still. Turns out the writer also helped with Justice League and Batman V Superman which makes sense because Bats V Supes has similar fundamental problems as this one.
Also, how is Rey Palp’s granddaughter? Like did one of the opera members get with him? And he’s still...capable? I liked the clone theory better and even that seemed off. Then it’s “No, I am your grandfather” now. Let me put it this way, I doubt there was a meeting back when TFA or even TLJ came out where they were like “Rey’s a Palpatine” it feels like an afterthought but maybe it isn’t because I see more evidence such as how she used a lightsaber for the first time and why that vision was in the Death Star, maybe RJ just ignored it and was like “Yeah no”. It was like they were teasing it throughout TFA just to be shut down and then focused around as the main plot of the final movie, I don’t like that setup, maybe they didn’t want to make it too much like Empire by revealing heritage but still...I mean the idea that “nobodies can be made somebody (force sensitive)” is a cool idea, they did that with Blade Runner 2049, but he wasn’t any “chosen one” but he did great things but this set it up to be hype in TFA and just kept cancelling out after that. Also Luke knew and Leia knew but for how long? Couldn't they have protected Palp's son and wife and Rey? And if they knew from some kind of force power then how did Han seem to know in TFA? I'm guessing that the whole thing with Ben turning bad didn't happen until after because Rey was pretty young when she was left. I like that they had Luke on the trail of going to find him but it feels like Force Awakens "we only have a piece of the map and there's no way to tell from just that." I would think it would be obviosu one of the wayfinders would be on Endor, but I might be thinking too much into it.
I’ve since watched some interviews and some rumors since watching it, I’ll focus on the more relative and close to confirmed stuff but Episode 9 is a big thing, you had George’s version, Trevorrow’s version, JJ's version, Rian's version, Disney (Iger and Kathleen)’s version (end version) and it’s just a lot that I’d like to see explored and explained, I hate how big corporations are like “nope, to the vault.” Like let the respective people be open about it if they want to, it’s after the fact so it’s not like it’s gonna change anything. Apparently there was a version JJ wrote up with the dagger of Mordis and Son of Mordis with Matt Smith but Disney didn’t like it and this that and the other thing, which explains why there was a dagger but in a way, the characters “were” the dagger of Mordis. I think where all these versions diverged is having Luke die, he was going to die, it’s just a matter of when, Disney and Rian pushed for 8 (for whatever reason). And everybody else was for 9. George said he wanted another 10 years to develop the sequels if he were on board and Disney wanted it out as soon as they could as well as avoiding having a repeat of the Prequels but with this sequel trilogy, people love the prequels now and the sequels have become the very thing they sought to destroy, ironic. I think the 10 years (which would be soon by now) would have done these sequels good, that way we have a clear vision and there might not have been so much crap behind the scenes. George also said that they wouldn’t let him have creative freedom but had no problem giving it to Rian Johnson. So yeah, apparently people agree with me on this because there's a movement called "Release the JJ cut" just like the Snyder cut of Justice League, I don't see why they can't just put it in the deleted scenes of the dvd or take a note from LOTR and make an extended edition, it's not like they're going to recycle it or anything, even if they do refilm the same basic scene then that's just something fans can make contrast to, it's not everyone's cake but it is definitely a good amount so there is demand, release the George Lucas Scripts, release the JJ cut.
I wanted Finn to lead a sort of revolution of Stormtroopers, have them rebel like he did. We saw that one deleted scene where they questioned Phasma in TLJ, that could have led to it but they just brushed past it with this one and gave “Jannah” the same backstory! I joked with my dad and said “the helmet had blood on it and everything.” “Really?! The same thing happened to me!” "No way!" Then at the end they make it out as Jannah is Lando’s daughter, apparently he says “my daughter was taken from me” at one point and I missed it and then they say they are from the same sector. It went right over my head, people say it’s a fun payoff, others say it has no impact. The way I took it was that Lando asked her what sector she was from and she said “I don’t know” and he said “Why don’t we find out?” I could’ve sworn that’s how I heard it, so I assumed to build off of that scene where everybody is hugging somebody but Finn meant that him, Lando and Jannah were going to find the homes of the defective stormtroopers, which once again would’ve just brushed right past the idea.
Even more so, Finn’s force sensitive? Pretty much like how he used a lightsaber in TFA so it lines up but they don’t go anywhere with it other than “Rey will be ok” “Kylo is on that ship” “The Nav is on that ship” it’s just used for convenience, there was no moment where Finn came in and really saved the day, I didn’t really care for that part where he drops the bombs with Jannah. Sure you could say that Leia was like that in the original trilogy but first of all, they were siblings so it made sense, and second, she had other development so she had stuff to still do, she was a princess after all, they wanted Luke to be the last Jedi to train new Jedi and she would’ve been among those as we can tell from this movie. Also we never figured out what happened to Luke’s green lightsaber, I thought that’s what he was going to give Rey but it ended up being Leia’s lightsaber, one we didn’t even knew existed until then.
Why does Finn have to have so many love interests? Honestly such a ladies man? There’s one every movie now yet he didn’t end up with any of them 😂 poor boy, almost confessed to Rey then Ben beats him to it, like some kind of Hunger Games drama. Unless he was going to say “I have a feeling which means I’m force sensitive right?”
I played with the idea of Ben seeing Han again and I’m content with it because it played out the same scene from his death but the way it should have gone...but we hear that remark from Luke that he’ll “haunt” him but he never does. They use the force touch ability pretty well in the movie, I kind of liked it, with the battle on the Death Star, I thought he was a hologram, I was surprised to see he was actually there. However Holdo is already forgettable because Poe does the same basic light speed jump over and over at the beginning of the movie, they call it a “Holdo” at the end but it just doesn’t seem special anymore.
My dad brought this up and I don’t really know what to think about it. So when Ben saves Rey at the end, he disappears, then Leia’s body does too, does that mean Leia was acting through Ben to save her? Or did they just poof together? Oh yeah! The Knights of Ren! So I thought maybe they would act like the Black Order then take them out one by one before Kylo was the supposed final boss and then Palp would end up being the big baddie instead but they don’t do that, they are called “Knights of Ren” not too sure about that considering they attack him in the end, more like Knights of Palpatine. The trope I was talking about is that they make a big deal of getting through it together but Rey just goes off and does her own thing, she stares into the distance a lot and gets sidetracked easily.
They made it seem like Anakin would return with Hayden in press events, he doesn’t other than a voice, a bit disappointed, then "that boy is our last hope." "no, there is another." well that "another" is...well...a “Palpatine”, Anakin wasn’t the foil anymore or “the other hope” it was Rey, she gave the final blow, she can take the name Skywalker, sure but I don't think Lucas would have let it play out that way, I mean Anakin saved Luke then Luke trained Rey but still. Luke was one of my main gripes for TLJ, not the acting, Mark Hamill is always great, but just the way they wrote and handled him. I remember after seeing it, someone at work told me “I loved Luke, he did an excellent job and had a great fight” and I thought “Yeah, coming from the guy who likes Alien Covenant” Idk what movie he was watching but I wasn’t a fan of that Luke and neither was Luke himself, Mark Hamill so that tells you something. This version seems to go back on that and does a 180, we don’t see too much of him but I started thinking how we didn’t see much of Ben Kenobi in 5 and 6 so I guess it’s alright, they at least treated him better with what we saw and that’s what matters.
I said this before but I imagined Luke taking down a Star Destroyer with the force in my ideal version of post ROTJ, just like Starkiller, we have a moment sorta like that with Rey and this cruiser, I got really happy seeing that, then Kylo fighting for it and drawing out Rey to use the dark side that she didn’t even know she could use. Speaking of, the reflection scene in this movie is what the one in the last one should have been, same scene but placed on Acht-To as training, you can have the whole snap thing and this and that but give it meaning, I feel like they were just avoiding being like Empire but then you did it anyway so it defeated that purpose.
The ending should have ended on Tatooine, I’m glad it did, right where it started. It’s funny how I had a very similar wallpaper before seeing the movie.
Then her YELLOW lightsaber made out of her staff is *😙👌🏻* great. I do think they partially did that out of fan service though, why Rey would want to go to a sand planet again is beyond me. However George has once said that "having a boy and a girl walking into the sunset adds 10 mill to the box office." and uh...I mean Disney again kind of just went against his wishes there.
Gotta admit, the whole star destroyer fleet were just Death Stars for the most part, Palp doesn’t know how to make anything else I guess. “Maybe we could make it bigger” “maybe we make it 3x more powerful” “maybe we could make tons of them!”
I also wanted to mention this because my dad liked TLJ and didn’t see why it was so divisive but seeing this movie he immediately understood so maybe it just makes things more clear and others hazy, idk.
So I thought of a way they could introduce Mara Jade and atone for Luke’s behavior in TLJ which was having Ben kill her and that’s why Luke went and banished himself and why the Jedi "forbade" any relationships like that, but then it would turn out she actually lived, that’s who I thought Zori Bliss was until she started flirting with Poe. Then I got the idea that they were going to do that with Rey, Luke knew that Palpatine was back and wanted to protect her so he left her on Jakku and banished himself on Ach-To, again wasn’t the case but I could see some big plot holes and opportunities in that theory too so maybe it’s better it didn’t go that way.
Another thing I thought was a theory I found online about C-3PO and how he would be hooked up to the Death Star and reactivate the droids as well as have some golden sentenials as an army (with him leading) to fight the First and Final Order, a callback to how the Ewoks made such a big deal out of him like he was their leader and how it was Anakin who made him so it would make sense to have some big surprise planned, that didn’t end up happening, the red eyes were just for reading sith language which makes sense, it’s cool.
Oh and that message that the emperor sent out, I couldn't find in the movie, but you know where it is? Fortnite. Yep and it’s kind of vague and dumb so rather than going to go find it, I will write it here for you “At last the work of generations is complete. The great error is corrected. The day of victory is at hand. The day of revenge. The day of the sith.” So...what is this “great error”? Vader?
One thing I know, but expected, is that these trailers are super misleading and I get that it’s supposed to be mysterious and get you to go but really? It made it look like they were destroying Vader’s shrine together, just an accident while facetiming. They made Rey look like she goes to the dark side, TWICE! Once in TLJ and once in TROS, at least with TLJ, I must say, Rian Johnson warned us about it like “hey, some stuff may not be what it seems in this trailer” so Disney is doing this on purpose, take what they have in trailers with a grain of salt. Turns out it was just a force vision like everyone was saying, called it, almost feels like they did that specifically for that reason, to put it in a trailer. But I there is at least an argument that Rey was struggling with the dark side and now we know why, I still think about the “Empress Palpatine” “Empress Rey” it’s got a ring to it, ngl. So them at least exploring that even just a bit was fun for me.
I’ve seen people say the complete opposite as me, that they liked the parts I didn’t and didn’t like the parts I did so it really is to each their own. It did some cool things with what it was given because it had to keep up with the other two, not disappoint people who hate and end the Skywalker saga, all in one bite while he wasn’t even set to direct it until late into it so he thought he was done which means there wasn’t a final script or any plan ready. I think it might have been more cohesive had it not had to deal with everything at once. There was a lot going on at one time to try and stuff in there. I think that if you had a path and then stuck with it then it would be more respectable, whether it was TFA or even TLJ, honestly I do believe that, pick one or the other but we shouldn't have to, just be committed to what you're trying to say, if Rey is related to someone, let her, if not, that's fine too but choose gosh dang it, don't throw the audience for a loop like we're some of the Mii's in Wii Sports, I'm not blaming anybody or any movie but this one.
Those are my thoughts on it at the moment, I'm reading the Thrawn trilogy so I should have a review for the first book eventually and I'll make reference back to this through that, you'll see why. As much as it's been said on the internet, I feel like it's true, like we're in a love-hate abusive relationship with Star Wars, so I think I need a break from it other than that. Disney has seemed to have based their movies around "avoiding" "avoid the Prequels" "avoid the Ladt Jedi" well, in the process I think they're avoiding Star Wars.
#star wars#spoilers#tros#the rise of skywalker#review#spoilers review#tros spoilers#star wars spoilers#sw
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