#It sucks because the name for this podcast still FUCKS

[bisexual-horror-fan]

So I'm rewatching Bones and guess who shows up?! As the creepy highschool janitor who may or may not be a killer with a room full of very sharp objects?!

*bangs pots and pans* Come get your slutty old man Bex😘

GOD! I knew he was in Bones but I hadn't SEEN him in it you know?

I figure this is as good a time as any to make this official. Since Tina and I got divorced, the podcast we always talked about, A Tour Through Englund, where we were going to watch and talk about everything Robert has ever been in, is obviously, cancelled and never happening. I would feel weird doing it solo since it was a project her and I came up with together plus I dunno if I could support doing a whole podcast of that size and scope on my own. SO! Sucks but that dream is dead and buried.

This means however that my excuse to watch everything he has ever been in is gone and it's back all on me to do that shit when I can. Maybe I should watch this one random Bones episode tomorrow?

[flamingtouya]

𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐩 (𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞) —

pairing: dabi + f!reader

word count: 4381

cw: getting to know each other (against your better intuition), flirting, bad flirting,some explicit language but nothing too bad, no quirk AU, dabi commits a crime or two

summary: In which Dabi meant to text Toga instead of a random stranger. But these things happen, and you were never one to shy away from troublesome men. This whole thing is told entirely through text messages.

a/n: check out my AO3 for different formatting! :)

Mar 02  10:07 PM

Unknown: Grab bleach while you’re out Unknown: And paper towels

You: who is this??

Unknown: So funny

You: u got the wrong number my guy 

Unknown: Shit Unknown: You don’t happen to have some bleach at your disposal rn? 

You: try the convenience store You: where’s the body at, anyways

Unknown: Ohara street by the fitness park, you should come check it out

You: sounds enticing You: i’ve always wanted to be on a true crime podcast

You: sort of expected myself to be the alive one though

Unknown: I was taught that women tend to be smart about stranger danger and stuff Unknown: You're out to prove me wrong

You: how’d you know i’m a woman? 🤨

Unknown: U sound cute Unknown: And men don’t listen to true crime

You: that’s so sexist You: and correct You: you'd do numbers on reddit

Mar 03 00:16 AM

You: hey don’t leave now

Mar 03 00:34 AM

Unknown: Had a body to take care of

You: you didn’t wait for me? :(

Unknown: … Unknown: Are u fr

You: ofc not You: i don’t hang out with edgelords

Unknown: Whatever u r probably boring anyways

You: entertaining enough for u to keep texting me

Unknown: We all have our moments of weakness 

Mar 03 01:09 AM

Unknown: So wyd

You: you don’t have anybody else to bother?

Unknown: I do Unknown: I want to bother you tho

You: damn, what’d i do to deserve this

Unknown: Is that a complaint

You: i have uni tomorrow and ur buzzing keeps waking me up

Unknown: Mute your phone, stupid 

You: can’t mute unknown numbers

Unknown: Save this one then Unknown: Or block me idc

You: what name should i put it under

Unknown: Dabi 

You: lmao i knew you were an edgelord

Dabi: Stfu

You: good night to you too

Mar 03  07:58 AM

You: fuck

Mar 03 3:56 PM

Dabi: Did you miss me that bad 

Mar 03 4:32 PM

You: i overslept and am blaming you entirely

Mar 03 5:19 PM 

Dabi: Sucks to be a useful member to society

You: why what do you do

Dabi: I'm actually a bit of a part-time freelancer, you regular uni folk just wouldn't get it

You: freelancing around ohara at 1 in the morning sounds like the truly fulfilling purpose we all long for You: did you just get up

Dabi: Hey now  Dabi: Yes  Dabi: I’m still in bed technically, looking at the ceiling fan is so interesting when I don't want to move a muscle

You: you are everything I am jealous of

Dabi: I promise you it’s not that good 

You: first time a guy’s been honest right away. i applaud u

Dabi: Omg no way 

Mar 03 5:40 PM

You: no way what

Dabi: No way you said something witty 

Dabi: Maybe you’re fun after all

You: i’ll have u know that deep down, i’m just a fragile being trying to make it thru this bitch of a world, running on fumes and caffeine all while chasing a childhood dream that i'll never be able to reach anyways because of my parents' expectations of me crushing my soul

Dabi: Damn, being vulnerable already 

You: your turn

Dabi: I’m not sad. My life is great and my parents never expected anything of me

Dabi: That was a lie 

You: so you’re a liar

Dabi: I suppose I might be

You: that counts as being vulnerable. i’m so proud of us. <3

Mar 03 9:12 PM

You: you probably have daddy issues

Mar 03 11:34 PM 

Dabi: Mind your business 

You: so i’m right

Dabi: Nosy sounds more like it

You: that’s a yes then

Dabi: When I tell you he SUCKS so bad 

You: LMAO You: i’m guessing you don’t particularly like your family then

Dabi: It's not the type of stuff I'd tell anybody, especially not to some nosy individual whose number is one or two digits off

You: alright i’ll stop digging You: wait how old are you You: am i talking to some 50 y/o dude You: please no

Mar 04 00:02 AM

Dabi: Chill I’m 48

Mar 04 00:06 AM 

You: say sike right now You: if u rly are then i’m half your age

Dabi: You thought Dabi: Are you actually 24 tho

You: give or take a few days lol

Dabi: When’s your birthday 

You: do you want my social and tax numbers while we’re at it

Dabi: Stfu I wanna see if I’m older 

You: 🤨 You: it’s at the end of this month

Dabi: Baby 

You: are u flirting with me or insulting me

Dabi: Can’t I be doing both 

Mar 04 06:30 AM

You: love me a guy who can multitask You: did you ever get your bleach and paper towels

Mar 04 11:11 AM

You: it’s 11:11 make a wish

Mar 04 2:02 PM

You: my wish is that you’d commit to a humane sleeping schedule

Mar 04 2:59 PM 

Dabi: Anybody hear sum 

You: i heard you’re a lazy bitch You: who doesn’t even do his own grocery shopping

Dabi: Maybe I do. Maybe I got the bleach all on my own like a big boy

You: X

Dabi: What's that mean

You: X for doubt You: it’s a meme

Dabi: Here I thought we were about to get spicy 😔

You: ew

Dabi: I was joking  Dabi: …unless 

You: has anybody ever told you that your flirting is immaculate

Mar 04 7:10 PM

Dabi: What do you study 

You: are you trying to find out my location

Dabi: Let it be known I’m terrible at geography and if I wanted to stalk you I'd already be on it

You: that’s a consolation You: forensic science You: i actually can’t wait for the semester to be over bc my professor is one of the most annoying individuals i have ever had the displeasure of meeting

Dabi: So you do have bleach 

You: never said i didn’t

Dabi: What do I have to do to make the list of annoying individuals. What's my current score

You: we haven’t met You: and i’m not sure if i’d survive u

Dabi: You have a point, I'm super nice tho

You: bet You: are you handsome You: asking for a friend You: the handsome ones are usually more annoying

Dabi: I'll say I’m frighteningly unique-looking 

You: ...well played

Mar 04 10:09 PM 

Dabi: My boss is making me do errand work in the morning like I'm some kind of functioning human being with principles Dabi: The next piercing I’m getting is a lobotomy 

You: thought you were “freelancing”

Dabi: Freelancing only gets you so far. You'll understand when you're my age

You: can't imagine what the back pain must be like You: do you have a tongue piercing 👀

Dabi: Perhaps I do

You: u r so mysterious You: tell me an opinion 

Dabi: Mint ice cream makes my teeth feel weird 

You: that’s not an opinion 

Dabi: Alright, more foods should have mint in them. And coriander. I want to make things inedible for 80% of the human population

You: nvm keep your opinions to yourself 

Mar 05 02:26 AM

Dabi: I've gotta burn this number. Txt u in a few 

Mar 05 05:16 AM

You: what are you, some kind of druglord This message could not be delivered.

You: I knew it This message could not be delivered.

Mar 0512:03 PM

You: ayo are you still there This message could not be delivered.

You: this is only funny if you come clean right now This message could not be delivered.

Mar 05 4:16 PM

You: "text you in a few" minutes? hours? days? This message could not be delivered.

You: just know that if it takes to long i'll forget about u This message could not be delivered.

You: won't even miss u This message could not be delivered.

Mar 06 09:00 AM

You: hello is this thing on This message could not be delivered.

Mar 07 3:15 PM

You: my social security number is 6007 0023 6799 0324 This message could not be delivered.

Mar 07 8:46 PM

You: eggs, vinegar, panko, sprite, sliced ham, parmesan, deodorant sencha if they have the good one ground pepper, lemon juice This message could not be delivered.

Mar 08 04:44 AM

Unknown: Am I still the man of ur dreams

You: I'm killing you You: violently

Unknown: I was hoping softly Unknown: With your song

You: are these messages being monitored You: am i a suspect

Unknown: If they were, could I write that I'm a ruthless baby killer anti-government fuck the police pro abortion the prime minister is an idiot bomb. bomb at the airport, terrorism, detonate Unknown: I guess now they are

Dabi was added as a contact.

You: just when i thought i'd have to find another witty asshole with a tongue piercing

Dabi: Aw you missed me Dabi: Does my tongue piercing make me hot be honest

You: what are my chances of getting an explanation for the past few days You: are u a murderer fr, that would be so cool You: i totally didn't use our abandoned chat as a grocery list btw

Dabi: The only thing I slay is pussy 😎

You: somehow i have doubts about that statement You: animal abuse is no joke

Dabi: I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100, if you guess it correctly I'll tell u everything

You: 69

Mar 08 08:21 AM

Dabi: It was 72 Dabi: Because you were so close I'll give u one free question. But I want another one in return

You: you're a dirty little gremlin who plays dirty little games You:: do i get to ask a follow-up question

Dabi: No

You: in that case You: which of the following activities did you partake in? 1.) vandalism 2.) drug dealing 3.) drug trafficking 4.) violent crimes 5.) violent crimes that resulted in the death of one or more individuals 6.) assisting someone in a violent crime 7.) assisting someone in a non-violent crime 8.) theft 9.) robbery 10.) hate crimes against a minority 11.) politically motivated acts of defiance 12.) consumption of illegal substances 13.) running and/or hiding from law enforcement 14.) domestic terrorism 15.) human trafficking 16.) money laundering 17.) having a good time

Dabi: What the fuck Dabi: What is this, a multiple choice? Dabi: 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 13 Dabi: My turn Dabi: What's your favourite food

You: fr, just like that You: that's your one question out of everything you could ask? am i really that boring

Dabi: I ask what I ask

You: spicy miso ramen with minced pork You: can we go back to the part where you ran from law enforcement

Dabi: Don't we all have demons that we run from Dabi: Mine are just a bit more persistent

Mar 08 10:52 AM

You: i want another question

Dabi: If you come up with one that's not related to the past few days, go ahead

You: fine i'll take it You: have you ever been caught and gotten in legal trouble for one of your… dubious activities

Dabi: Yeah

You: …and?

Dabi: That's another question. Gonna trade?

You: fine

Dabi: When I was 16, two Officers Of The Law 🐷 caught me dumpster diving behind a 7/11 Dabi: The dumpster diving wasn't the crime but because it was on private property they charged me with trespassing

You: damn, that's a lot of truth from u in just two sentences You: i wanna know ur tragic backstory so bad

Dabi: You could try to get me all sentimental for the 6 minutes after really good sex before the post nut clarity sets in

You: uh huh, taking notes You: anyway. you get one question. think hard

Dabi: If you couldn't have minced pork on your ramen, what would your second topping choice be

You: you're impossible

Mar 08 1:27 PM

You: tori karaage or extra ni-tamago i guess

Mar 08 2:23 PM

Dabi: Doesn't the Karaage lose its crispiness if it's in the broth for too long Dabi: I wouldn't know

You: please let me recommend you a good ramen place, you seem like you'd need it

Dabi: You have no idea. Take me out

You: like romantically? or are you asking me to murder you

Dabi: I love surprises

You: i just laughed out loud in the middle of my lecture

Mar 08 7:18 PM

Dabi: Need your forensic expertise for a sec

You: …oh no

Dabi: It's a purely hypothetical scenario

You: alright lay it on me big boy

Dabi: If a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person were to climb over a 4,60 meter high fence that has electrical wiring on it Dabi: What would the most likely way for them to die be?

You: this is not forensic at all You: how strong is the electricity You: is there a way to shut it off You: where would you hold onto the fence You: can it be damaged

Dabi: Not me, a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person

You: where would THE 176 CM TALL AND 67 KG HEAVY PERSON HOLD ONTO THE FENCE

Dabi: The only points that provide decent grip surface are the hooks holding the wires in place

You: so the most likely way to die would be electrocution You: will that be all

Dabi: How would one determine whether the electricity has been properly shut off Dabi: In the theoretical scenario that you couldn't get close enough to hear

You: the 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person should tap the wiring from the bottom with the back of their hand You: that way their fingers curl downwards and not around the wire You: so the person won't DIE from ELECTROCUTION

Mar 09 00:08 AM

Dabi: Excellent Dabi: Gonna do some field research Dabi: Will report back in maybe a day

Mar 09 08:01 AM

You: i'm gonna be so mad if you die before you've had decent karaage This message could not be delivered.

Mar 11 6:10 PM

Unknown: So it turns out that the person did not have to climb the fence after all. Pliers are such useful tools Unknown: Thanks for the electricity tip tho

Mar 11 6:39 PM

Dabi was added as a contact.

You: you're so hot when you're alive 

Mar 11 9:14 PM

Dabi: Do u think I'm a catch 😏

You: judging by the way law enforcement is trying to get their hands on you, i'd say you're pretty slippery

Dabi: The slipperiest Dabi: You couldn't handle me

You: i'd trap you using cheese and a paper box  You: put you in a jar and turn you into spicy miso broth 

Dabi: Would you hold the jar tight at night and tell me everything's going to be okay 

You: of course 

Dabi: I'm liking this scenario 

Mar 12 01:07 AM 

Dabi: Ever thought about what Mint Karaage would taste like

Mar 12 01:23 AM

You: i need u 

Dabi: Tell me more

You: to shut your mouth

Dabi: Are you trying to romance me

Mar 12 07:15 AM

You: i'm actually so upset right now  You: can i vent

Mar 12 07:27 AM

Dabi: Listening Dabi: Am I gonna have to get the tissues out

You: you're not empathetic enough for that 

Dabi: How would you know 

You: call it a woman's intuition  You: i just need someone to bother about my hot girl troubles

Dabi: Let's hear it girl  Dabi: Men ain't shit 💅

You: damn right they aren't You: but unrelated to that You: i ran out of my medication a few days ago and thought if i stretched the remaining 3 pills to last me 6 days i'd be able to make it till the end of the week  You: now my doctor's office is closed and i can't seem to get an appointment anywhere You: and i'm super jittery and on edge and almost had a panic attack just trying to make coffee

Dabi: What type of medication 

You: Ativan You: it's prescription only

Dabi: Nothing is ever "prescription only" 

You: i'm not gonna try some experimential backalley drug You: just feel like dying rn

Dabi: Who said anything about backalley? You actually came to the right guy for this  Dabi: What's the name of the nearest druggery 

You: ...fukuju pharmacy

Dabi: So I've been talking to a Setagaya girl 

You: only moved here for uni, hate to disappoint if ur expecting a wealthy maiden 

Mar 12 10:02 AM

Dabi: Don't you feel like getting a snack from the vending machine  Dabi: Specifically the one next to the pharmacy  Dabi: A bag of skittles sounds nice, doesn't it?

You: ? ? ?

Mar 12 10:34 AM 

You: did you commit a crime for me  You: how did you get your hands on actual fucking Ativan this fast

Dabi: I don't kiss and tell

You: did you follow me home  You: is this how i die

Dabi: You make it so hard to be nice to you Dabi: What do you think I am, a creep

You: if you were here i'd suck you off so good rn

Dabi: Whore Dabi: (Respectfully)

You: lmao ur right You: thank you for real though

Dabi: Stfu

Mar 12 1:33 PM

Dabi: Do u like cats

You: yes

Dabi sent an image.

Dabi: Noodle thieving menace 

You: 🥹 You: that has got to be the fattest street cat i’ve ever seen

Dabi: He’s hella fast 

You: how does it feel to be the one chasing the culprit for once

Dabi: Not nearly as thrilling as being the one committing the crime 

Mar 13 00:00 AM

Unknown: Congratulations! You have been selected as an eligible member for a free trial of Osaka Daily Post. Unknown: If you would like information about your benefits, reply 'BENEFIT' Unknown: If you would like to stop receiving these messages, reply 'STOP' 

You: i know it's you shithead

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: this is the unfunniest you've ever been ngl

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: you're truly one of the most annoying individuals in my life

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: STOP

Unknown: LMAO you thought

Dabi was saved as a contact. 

You: i'm reconsidering if the tongue piercing is really worth it 😤

Mar 13 04:55 AM

Dabi: Any particular reason why you chose forensics 

Mar 13 06:09 AM

You: i've always admired criminals but been to scared to become one You: and if i know about psychotic assholes it might help me to steer clear of them, or so i thought

Dabi: Is it working

You: evidently not

Dabi: Use me in ur thesis  Dabi: I'll be your lab rat

You: nah you're more beneficial to me when you're not stuck behind bars You: what do you have me saved as in your phone

Dabi: I don't save contacts  Dabi: Especially not yours  Dabi: You mean nothing to me 

You: aww do you know my number by heart, that's adorable You: i'm kinda genuinely impressed at how persistent you are at bothering me, it's almost like you like me or smth

Dabi: No fr though lmao if anybody finds my phone you'd be on a list

You: do u delete these chats

Dabi: Always

You: that's so romantic You: admit it you're actually a softie

Dabi: Would that make you more interested in me  Dabi: Then I'm the softest 

You: what do i need to do to make you the hardest

Dabi: ... Dabi: There's absolutely no correct way for me to respond to that  Dabi: You've left me speechless 

You: 🥵🥵

Dabi: What's your worst quality  Dabi: Besides being an irresistible smartass  Dabi: *irritating 

You: was that a freudian slip You: you're so obsessed with me it's adorable

Dabi: Proving my point so diligently 

You: you don't seem like the kind of person who would use words like 'diligently' You: i'm rather talkative at times You: to the point where it gets unbearable to listen to me

Dabi: I never would've guessed

You: what's yours? You: besides the obvious

Dabi: Still putting up with you 

Mar 13 7:45 PM

Dabi: Wyd 

You: i burned my rice a little You: but it's edible

Dabi: Don't you have a rice cooker? Who raised you 

You: my very strict but sweet and committed grandmother who made the best teriyaki salmon in the whole world You: i'd kill another human being to eat her home cooked food one more time

Dabi: So your parents ain't shit either 

You: eh, they're alright You: they're Business People overseas and aren't around a whole lot, means i get my own place though You: so i can have visitors at any desired hour 😏

Dabi: Omg sick Dabi: Me next

You: it was implied

Mar 13 11:11 PM

Dabi: Ok but do u actually wanna meet up sometime  Dabi: No strings attached ofc 

You: i'm down

Dabi: What if I'm a creep after all

You: if anything, it means i won't have to attend my lecture about carbon dots tmrw

Dabi: I can't tomorrow  Dabi: What about the day after Dabi: I'll give u my credit card info if it makes you feel more safe, don't bother trying to buy anything with it tho, you'll be disappointed

You: you may not show it a whole lot, but are you actually a considerate person? You: the day after sounds good

Dabi: Preem

You: oreryu shio ramen, right by harajuku station You: about time you had some good karaage You: my treat You: unless that's too far away for u

Dabi: I would fly across the world for u Dabi: Yes Harajuku works fine

Mar 14 08:49 AM

You: how will i recognise u You: what do u look like

Dabi: As my dad once said. I'm impossible to miss 

You: i laughed

Dabi: Guess it was all worth it then  Dabi: Do tattoos scare you

You: i was gonna ask cause there's no way you got only a tongue piercing and nothing else You: stand there with your tongue out

Dabi: Shouldn't we at least get to know each other before 😳

You: don't get any ideas  You: i don't intend to fuck u You: ...for now

Dabi: That's a relief, I thought I might have to file a restraining order afterwards 

Mar 14 1:42 PM 

Dabi sent an image. 

Dabi: If u see this guy u can still run the other way 

You: hhh fuck You: are u trying to intimidate me You: how do you have so many tattoos but no bedframe

Dabi: Cut me some slack, I just moved into this place 

You: fair warning i'm not as hot as u

Dabi: Bet 

You sent an image. 

Dabi: Why do women always lie. I thought you were better. I thought you were different

You: 😳 You: i'm actually worse

Dabi: We're such a good match

You: don't get ahead of urself. u r still a guy with no bedframe

Dabi: Please shut up

Mar 14 4:16 PM

Dabi: To be clear I'm not bringing flowers or anything  Dabi: And I'm actually willing to let you pay this time lol 

You: you have such a unique way with words 

Dabi: A bit tight on money rn but I'll pay u back some other way 

You: can we make that the first line in our sextape  You: dw i said it's my treat and i mean it You: does that make you feel emasculated

Dabi: Who would I be to say no to free food tf Dabi: If there's a next time I can take you out for drinks  Dabi: Nothing fancy but an old friend of mine owns a bar downtown and his girlfriend mixes a killer mule 

You: if you're gonna poison me after gaining my trust over my favourite food i will be incredibly sad 

Dabi: Give me some credit here. I'm trusting u to not rat me out to law enforcement 

You: you're giving me ideas You: is there a bounty on your head

Dabi: I'm not that important 

Mar 14 9:44 PM

You: so you're just too good to get caught

Dabi: Both flattering and factually correct Dabi: For the record I've never harmed anybody that didn't deserve it 

You: thanks for clarifying  You: i feel so safe now 

Dabi: Anytime  Dabi: If you're having second thoughts lmk before 10 am so I won't spend time getting ready for nothing 

You: 10 am is crazy  You: u r so vain 

Dabi: Alright then I won't 😔

You: i take it back You: be pretty for me

Mar 15 5:30 AM

You: can't sleep 

Mar 15 7:12 AM

Dabi: How the turntables  Dabi: Are you alright

You: yes  You: it's the good kind of sleepless 

Dabi: It's fine if you're having second thoughts, I won't hold it against you at all  Dabi: Just texting like this is nice too

You: fuck no i wanna meet the man behind the screen You: the myth, the legend, the crimelord himself 

Dabi: I'm never showing consideration for ur wellbeing ever again 

You: should've ghosted me before i got attached

Mar 15 9:54 AM

Dabi: Last chance to bail gracefully  

You: you make it so tempting 

Dabi: Getting out of bed then 

You: it's not a bed if it doesn't have a bedframe

Dabi: Shut, and I mean this in the gentlest way possible, the hell your mouth

Mar 15 12:08 PM

Dabi sent a location pin.

Dabi: Is this the place

You: that's the one  You: be there in a few minutes 

Dabi: I'm waiting outside 

Mar 15 12:13 PM

You: omg i think i see u You: im shy

Dabi: U literally have so much blackmail material on me 

You: give me a second You: alright I'm coming over This message could not be delivered.

[maxwell-grant]

The Penguin Ep2: "Inside Man" Breakdown

(Previous episode)

I think so much of this episode, to me, was about identity in our characters. And with Oz, you get to see all these different moments, all these different faces that he puts on, literally. You have the charmer at the party. You have the double agent, the two-faced liar. You have the man who's kind of, like, sucking it to Sofia, and trying to get in her good graces. You have honest Oz with Victor and how he's able to just be himself because he's let Victor into his life that way. And then you have the comforting Oz, which is with his mother.

And on the flipside we have Sofia, who is also in this place of identity, where she's come out of prison, she has the Hangman name connected to her. And society is telling her who she is, and her family is telling her who she is, and she's trying to define who she is within her family and within her place. And now that she's lost Alberto, she's lost a big part of her identity. The one person who truly loved her and stood by her side.

Like, we wanted this episode to really explore all the different pieces of these echaracters, and then also just to feel chaotic because with Oz - He's just like, a hair ahead of the next thing that goes wrong, and has to switch, you know, from moment to moment, so...

AMY: Yeah it's almost like he's the cartoon coyote who runs off over the cliff, but if he keeps pedaling, maybe he can pull this off. - -The Penguin Official Podcast, episode 2

Back when the first episode dropped, I had a friend reach out to me (a friend who, up until this point, never so much as entertained the idea of a Penguin not played by Danny DeVito) and tell me that it was shocking to see The Penguin painted as a sympathetic character, that the show went through such lengths to humanize the character and get us on his side and whatnot. Which, true, is part of what it's doing, I imagine a lot of people had a similar response. It is pretty great, then, that this episode is almost precision constructed to slap you in the face for thinking "oh this dude ain't so bad" after the first one, what a scumbag piece of shit Oswald is in this one, I love it

I get the sense that what's left of the plans they may have had for an Arkham series are gonna be coming through a bit in Sofia's arc, already establishing right off the bat what a ghastly place Arkham Asylum is, scar tissue on Sofia's soul that won't leave her alone.

Calling it right now that we're gonna pan upwards in the dream and see Oz shooting Alberto as soon as Sofia finds out.

I'm glad that they've made efforts to avoid dumb namechecks and references for the sake of it so I'm pretty confident Sofia's weird therapist won't turn out to be like, Jonathan Crane in disguise or secretly named Harlan Quinzel or something, but everyone's in unanimous agreement that this dude is sketchy as fuck and something is up with him. Dr Julian Rush is a supervillain name, nevermind the hypnosis lights and his behavior and that painting that looks like it was plucked straight out of The Riddler: Year One. You can make a Batman universe as grounded in realism as possible and Gotham City will still have cartoonishly ominous medical professionals.

"This man is a dog. But a dog can be made submissive." Spoken like everyone who's ever employed Oswald Cobb for anything. I like how Nadia and Sofia have the exact same view of Oz and where they think they stand with him.

Fuck yeah, Shohreh Aghdashloo, I was so excited when I heard she was announced for this, loved her in Mrs. Davis. The only problem with Clancy Brown and Shohreh Aghdashloo together on screen playing husband and wife mafiosos is that it should be incredibly hard to root for anyone else. If this wasn't the Penguin show, I would be extremely bummed out at anyone but them winning this gang war.

I really love this show turning not just Sal Maroni, but the Maroni Crime Family, into this totally distinct thing from the Falcones, I love the little tale they spin in the post-credits video about how these two met and exchanged their cultures and how Maroni formed his entire power base around her Persian gang and that's the gang that they form in Gotham nowadays. I would love it even if it was just an excuse to have Aghdashloo on the show, which it is, but it's also one of the many interesting nuggets of worldbuilding that they're adding here. It's also nice to have asian/middle-eastern characters in Gotham that aren't connected to the fucking League of Shadows, no connections to Fu Manchu and ninja squads and whatever.

In fact none of this Long Halloween/Falcone/Maroni shit has ever been as interesting as it is here in this saga, actually why bullshit around, most if not all of it has never been interesting period. Because this abstains so hard from using all the Batman comic elements people will turn up to the movies for, it has to make soup out of all the usually extremely barebones elements of regular Gotham crime, so that you will be invested in stuff involving like, Johnny Viti and so on, and it works, they're real characters now. This has to make people out of these guys like nobody's ever had to or tried before.

In fact here's another example of where the approach this universe takes to realism works: It's the first time in the show that anyone's ever said the word Penguin, and it's the first time anyone in this universe has called him Penguin to his face. Batman and Gordon kept calling him that amongst themselves, but never in direct conversation with him (closest they get is calling him a stool pigeon). And obviously you get why nobody does that openly to him, it's a crude and offensive way to refer to his disability, so obviously most people are not gonna call him that where he can hear it, especially when he already has a nickname via "Oz". So when Johnny Viti steps out here out of the blue and calls him "Penguin!", you get holy shit, what the fuck is your problem. Instantly communicates the sheer disdain and disrespect, and crucially the power over Oz, that this guy has to be calling him that in public like this. And you get to feel Oz bottling up the rage he takes at that offense. They don't have to make a thing of it, it lasts like a second, but it's a harsh reminder of how much that name stings, and so it gains weight like it never really had before.

Ah, the lovely Sopranos school of playing licensed music to signal people are about to die horribly, can't get enough of it.

I love that two episodes in the show has already established an extremely fitting routine for how Penguin does things: he spends a long time prepping schemes and setting up dominos to fall so he can ascend in the ranks, everything blows up, and then he has to scrape and struggle to slip away from the fire via additional long-term schemes and spur-of-the-moment bullshit and sheer luck, ultimately succeeding in securing an advantage but also putting himself in greater risk. Everything he does is the next step in a master plan and him shooting himself in the foot, it's just perfectly Penguin. Even when he wins, he still loses, and vice versa.

Of course Oz used to be a barback who bullshitted his way into becoming a driver with a stolen car, and of course his old boss just happened to be a rat who got shot in the head. Who would have guessed that Oz' boss got killed, just like his old boss, and his old boss that came after that one. We can talk about a lot of the ways in which Penguin emerged practically fully formed in his debut, but it turns out there was another one I had neglected. From his first appearence to 83 years later, dude just cannot stop killing his bosses.

Oz's relationship with his mother continues to be fascinating and heartbreaking and I dread how much hurt this is gonna pile on the two of them and us alike as audience members.

Oz planting Castillo was so fucking scummy and also so much smarter. Of course if he planted Viti people would be onto him because of the attack, of course Viti still had enough room to defend himself especially with the Maronis seizing Oz's blackmail. Nobody would suspect Castillo, and nobody would look deep into Castillo, and Castillo being gone only isolates Sofia enough to drive her right into Team Penguin.

"We all gotta make sacrifices, pal"

Love Sofia's tiger suit, love Sofia's wardrobe here in general.

When I say that the Falcones/Maronis/etc have never been a tenth as interesting as they are here I am very much including Sofia in this. I like Sofia Gigante as a design, but even when I assumed nothing terribly interesting would be done with Sofia here, I still said they had very good reasons to not replicate that design here, and this episode illustrates another one: Sofia Gigante is not someone people would dismiss and badmouth within earshot of her. Nobody sensible would dare not give her the reigns of the family if she wanted them. Sofia Gigante is not really a character so much as she's a menace for Batman/Two-Face to be up against. She is the inscrutable monster that Gotham City has projected onto this Sofia and is already treating her as.

Sofia isn't just dealing with the struggle of being a woman left alone in a fiercely patriarchal hierarchy as well as mental illness without proper support and with her peers ostracizing her with disdain and fear (and over something she may not even have actually done), she is dealing with the fact that society has branded her a Batman Villain and treating her as such. She is the scary new threat to be afraid of in Gotham, the psycho in the papers, the latest mutant atrocity born from corruption and crime, denied dignity and personhood at every turn and thus driving her to salvage what little she can in the only way she can, the only way anyone in Gotham can: turning the tables and exherting power and fear over others instead.

Best exemplified by that scene with her friend and that little girl. She's approached for the first time since she returned by someone who's treating her as a friend and a peer, talking about casual friend things that she hasn't heard in ages, and then one little interaction drives a veiled knife the deepest into Sofia's heart, so in turn she drives one back, and flaunts the power she has as a monster.

Love that scene where they bring Evrad to her and she's very clearly upset at having her brother's wake interrupted / reminiscing the way Alberto was brought to her on the back of a car, but deciding fuck it, bring him to the basement. Love all the ways this episode establishes Sofia as our other protagonist moving forward.

Kay could see how Michael stood to receive their homage. He reminded her of statues in Rome, statues of those Roman emperors of antiquity, who, by divine right, held the power of life and death over their fellow men - The Godfather, by Mario Puzo

Greatly enjoyed this reversal of The Godfather ending shot they've done with her, the don closing the door on the woman excluded, except we're inside the room the whole time as it closes, and it is she who is framed by opulent surroundings, it is she who gets to be framed in comparison to Roman statues the way Michael Corleone was in the book. We know who is the real don of this family framed behind the closed door.

"I'm not safe. I'm home."

I know Vengeance is not showing up here, but now I actually do want to see an interaction between the two of them. Prince and princess of the city, the broken children of Arkham, grappling with a loss that's hollowed them out and an intertwined city-reshaping legacy and a separate name consuming every facet of their life. She isn't even really a Batman villain here and I already think she's an excellent Batman villain.

For so much of her life up to this point, all she had to do was endure the nightmare only so long as it took to rejoin her brother and return safe to the protection of the family, in the kingdom which belonged to them. And now her brother is gone, murdered by someone within the family, the kingdom stones her at every turn, and she has no one to count on but the family dog nipping on her heels.

On some level, she knows he can't be trusted, she knows he's lying, but there's nobody else on her side left. Nothing else to lose. She's fallen, and in the bottom she can now join the man who's been there for as long as she's known him Or at least, the man who used to be at the bottom, because now he's got someone else to be there instead.

Topping off the episode we get this snippet of Oz at his most openly monstrous so far, in appearence as he looms down on Victor and in attitude towards him, and it's delightfully fucked that for all intents and purposes, this is still him playing nice. Because even still, he's not just being cruel for cruel's sake, he's trying to get Victor to wake up, trying to teach him a lesson so he can stop choking and get used to the corpses, because this is what it's like to be The Penguin's Robin. That he has a motive to be doing this doesn't make it any less of a horrible fucking thing to do, and it doesn't make it any less cruel, because it isn't just about reprimanding Victor and teaching him a lesson, is it? Nothing's only ever one thing with Oz.

Not when he starts off saying "Lay down, where you belong". Not when he's taking the moment to vent about how Carmine treated him in the same breath he's comparing his relationship to Carmine with the one Vic has with him. You can’t have power over someone without putting them down, without demeaning them. Somebody's gotta be at the bottom. Somebody's gotta dig up the grave. And to the rest of the Falcones, that is still Oz, but now there's someone else down there in the shit and Oz is the one putting him there.

I think maybe my favorite thing about this episode, in terms of how it contrasts the previous one, is that everything Oz does here to get ahead is predicated on exploiting/backstabbing people who are on the same position he's in, if not lower. It's easy to root for the guy when he shoots Alberto Falcone, and desperately selling out some random kid to buy himself seconds to live against Sofia is not ideal but hardly that damning. But this episode ups the ante by giving Oz a bodycount of 5-8 people, most of which are directly and even gruesomely murdered by him, and all of them were people in the same position he's in that relied on him.

The guys at the truck that used to work with him at the warehouse and were laughing at his jokes seconds before ("Oz you fucking traitor!"), Ervad the Maroni ally who played his part at the truck hijacking and was willing to sell out Viti even under risk of death, Castillo the guy whose testimony bought him goodwill before Sofia, none of these are people Oz has any kind of moral highground over, none of these are the people keeping Oz down, none of these people had revenge coming their way (...I mean okay Castillo did torture Oz last episode under Sofia's orders, but nothing Oz did to him here was motivated by that), and none of that mattered. You could also argue he's backstabbing Eve and the girls, even if not intentionally - he gave her name to Sofia as an alibi, Eve has no idea how right she is to be scared of Sofia finding out and how much Oz is bullshitting all of them.

Victor's yet to figure out that being on Oz' good side, making jokes with him and doing what he asks and having his back, will not save you from being killed for him or by him if that's what it takes for him to survive. Like he says in one of the promos: No such thing as good or evil, only survival.

Working 9 to 5 was a perfect anthem to close out the first episode and to associate with Oz, but one that's stuck in my head even more is the one used to close out this episode, the Floor Cry cover of Happy Together. It feels like such a perfect song to close out this episode and herald the start of Sofia Falcone's new journey, it's her theme and it stuck with me.

Out of all the things I could have expected about The Penguin going in, Sofia Falcone becoming one of my favorite Batman characters was definitely not one of them. She can strangle and torture whoever she wants, who cares, god forbid women do anything.

[wizardpink]

Hi! Random question, but do you think the show will have Daniel call Armand "boss" now that the Maître thing happened? I know it's very prevalent in the books, but it might have different and/or interesting Implications™ in the show.

This question reminded me of one of my favorite episodes of the It's Always Sunny podcast. Stay with me here because we are going on a journey.

If there's any journalist in the world, living right now, who doesn't have a boss, it's Daniel Molloy.

There was a post recently that said something about how the point in the story where the timeline shifts the most dramatically from the books to the show is in the early 80s, when Armand DOESN'T turn Daniel into a vampire. I think that is a major part of why the Devil's Minion storyline in the show scared and angered so many fans in the finale. It's so different from the story we fell in love with! But we were so focused on Armand being different (possibly turning Daniel out of spite) that we forgot that Daniel is the one who is really different, in a really genius and wonderful departure from the books.

In the books we know human Daniel primarily as a man in his early 20s through his early 30s, but who he is in his early 30s is extremely heavily influenced by all the things that happened to him in that previous decade. Meeting Louis, meeting Armand, being pursued by Armand, and finally becoming Armand's lover.

But show Daniel had a great big reset button pressed on his life either at the end of the interview or at the end of his and Armand's romance, and he got to experience a life that book Daniel never did, and as a result it shaped him into a man that I think book Daniel always would have become, until he got derailed. And it's fascinating how BOTH paths make perfect sense even though they start at the same pivotal point!

Book Daniel meets vampires and then immediately is sucked into their world permanently. It becomes his realm as well. And in that realm are hierarchies and power dynamics that he has to exist within. He becomes subservient in ways to Armand, to Marius, etc etc. I could go on but you know what I mean.

Show Daniel however! Show Daniel meets vampires and gets pushed OUT of their world back into the world of humanity. And yes, in that realm are hierarchies and power dynamics that he has to exist within. But they're upheld by human beings! People who are no better than Daniel himself, and certainly no more frightening than the shit he's already been through whether he can remember it or not. Show Daniel pursues any story, any lead he wants no matter how dangerous or powerful the subject matter may be. He writes what he wants when he wants, and it works because he's fucking good at it. And it doesn't always work out for him! He says he's been fired and rehired, he's been nearly killed when an interview subject gets skittish or tired of his bullshit. But the point is, he went out and he made his own damn rules. He's brash and opinionated and has zero filter. He'll say whatever he wants to anyone, demand answers and truth from anyone. And no one is gonna tell him he can't. They're gonna have to drag him out of here or kill him to shut him up.

Armand and Daniel's maker/fledgling, devil/minion dynamic is going to be SO DIFFERENT from the books and yet JUST as juicy because the important things -- the love, the longing, the passion, the understanding, the recognition -- that is all still there. But I don't see 69 year old Daniel Molloy falling over himself to worship and cowtow to Armand. My DREAM is we see BOTH dynamics just to juxtapose the two, and the strife it creates as two people who once loved each other try to get back to that place now that they aren't those people anymore.

So tl;dr, yes and no. If he says it, it's going to be like, one time and so dripping with sarcasm Armand will be fighting his fangs again. If we get an earnest pet name it'll be very private I feel (as opposed to Armand who would call Daniel his beloved in line at the post office).

Also on a personal note, "boss" is so deeply unsexy. Goons and henchmen call the Joker boss, I don't want that haha. Oh and also I have like zero recollection of him calling Armand "boss" in the books, that's a detail that my brain mulched up and ate years ago I guess. So I was the wrong person to ask this. Thanks for reading though! 😂

[squirrellypoo]

Ep8 "What Can The Damned Really Say To The Damned" rewatch thoughts (Part 1)

On my third rewatch of the first episode of season 2, I noticed a ton more than I had before. Whether that's because it was on a brighter tv screen, or just that my initial buzz had stopped overloading my cognitive functions, who knows.

In any case, here's my first 10 things I missed!

Just after the massacre of soldiers at the checkpoint - Louis spits something out as they walk away. Did he also help kill them? Is that a tooth or something? I love the idea that Louis is doing a lot more human hunting that he ever lets on...

2. “Or is it the sleep of an infant? Tabula rasa” - I had to look up this term because I'd not heard it before, but it's roughly the philosophical idea that babies’ minds are born as a blank slate. (Wikipedia)

3. Just before Louis complains that he’s cold, you can see that the bonfire is using a dead soldier as fuel. Additionally, he's talking about his refusal to burn Lestat as they huddle around it (nice touch, sicko writers!).

4. Obviously I knew that the "Huns" were German soldiers, but I wasn't sure what “Beasts of Ivan” was referring to... Russian forces? Or Ivan the Terrible (Treblinka guard)? TBH, even after googling, I'm still not entirely sure.

5. Oh god the skeletons of the vampires they discover - Louis and Claudia don’t know to scatter the ashes so their souls are still likely trapped in there?? 😭 (See also: Daciana after the fire…)

6. The Dubai staff member taking Louis’s blood dish away is wearing a face mask and gloves but Real Rashid is wearing gloves but no mask… Who do we know that did that in season 1, eh?? 👀

7. Now, this might not be anything but I thought it was interesting that you can see Louis’s breath in the sequence with Hallucistat (whose breath you can also see). So does that mean he's fed recently to be warm enough to do so? There was a great story on the Truest Blood podcast where the actors talked about needing to suck on ice cubes so that their breath didn't show up on camera, and that detail really stuck with me.

8. Louis says “I had taken 7,000 souls by then.” Ok, let's do some maths - 7,000 divided by 35 years is 200 per year, or 3.5 per week. That's roughly one murder every other day, which seems like a lot for someone claiming to be a vegetarian?? Like, was he killing several a night in the early years with Lestat (the "blood-drunken night in Baton Rogue", for instance), and for the past several years with Claudia? Sure, we see him bite a rat here, but he's clearly killing more than he wants to admit to himself...

9. The little boy that Morgan bribes with a cigarette to take Claudia away from adult conversation - his name is Andrei. Book readers may remember that this was Armand's given human name. (I don't think it means anything, I just think it's a nice touch from the writers, and they might change this in the show to be something more appropriate to his background)

10. After Louis remembers that Emilia mentioned about the woods after Claudia left, Armand suggests Louis takes a break. Daniel then goes on a rant to Real Rashid, ending with “You I can fucking break!” Louis dismisses Rashid, but then then Armand immediately follows him out of the room. What was Armand following him for? What was he saying to Rashid?

Part II coming up! Let me know in the Notes if you also missed any of these...

[genericpuff]

Rachel did a live Q&A in the LO Discord server and gave some news about the Animated Series, it’s still happening! (Surprisingly) Any thoughts on that or things you’d like to see from it?

Right, like every other time she's said it's "still happening" with no evidence to actually support it. That's always been the issue and still is.

Sorry, that's not me being snarky at you, I'm more so frustrated and absolutely fucking done with all the empty promises and platitudes.

Best case scenario with what was said during the Q&A was that she said "it's still happening" (worst case was that she didn't address it at all).

Like, how is this:

"I can say that… we are currently doing work on it… and it is going well.. and that it looks really cool and that I wish everyone could see what we’ve done because it looks really really really cool, and it’s happening, but that’s all I can say at this point… I can say, making tv shows takes a really long time, it takes so long" (last night's Q&A)

Any different than this:

Any different than this:

“Um, it’s been really interesting. It’s been educational for me. So, what I—what has been done so far is beautiful. Like, if I could share it, I would. But I can’t. Because it’s very naughty.” - Girl Wonder SDCC (July 2023)

She's been saying this for the last two years since people started getting suspicious it wasn't happening in the first place, and despite all the reassurances that "it's still happening", it doesn't seem to have anything to show for itself. Cast list? Nope. Director? Nope. Writers? Nah. Just a showrunner whose bio still says "TBA" and who, despite having a whole ass 40 minute long interview with Girl Wonder, still didn't have anything to show for what's to come, just more empty promises that it's "still happening" (and a lot of banter about Stephanie's life, rather than her involvement with LO).

In fact, most of what Stephanie talks about in the podcast concerning LO is pitching it, not developing it. And this interview happened just a few months ago. Go listen to it yourself if you don't believe me.

So at this point, I see "it's still happening" as "don't panic" corporate speak for "we're still pitching it and trying to find a network for it so we can actually move onto development." Yes, animation takes a long time, even Hazbin Hotel took about three and a half years to finally release after Prime bought the rights to it in 2020. But LO, again, clearly hasn't even started the animation process yet. And while we're comparing it to Hazbin, note that HH actually had LOADS to show for itself along the way of being developed and did a much, MUCH better job at staying relevant and pulling in new people and hyping it up. Even people who never watched Hazbin before in its indie days on Youtube were hearing about it, it made an active effort to sell itself to new viewers and break out of its bubble on Youtube. Is LO doing that? No, not really. Most of the people who know about it are diehard fans who refuse to read anything that isn't shown directly to them on Webtoons, and diehard haters who are tired of the garbage that gets advertised on Webtoons. Ask anyone who doesn't use Webtoons, and best case, they'll know someone who reads LO, worst case, they won't even know what a webtoon is.

Shit, even the new upcoming Zelda movie has names attached to it, including Avi Arad, Wes Ball, and Derek Connolly. And my god, it's gonna SUCK DICK with that bad of a line-up (the guy who ruined the OG Spiderman trilogy and created Morbius, the guy who directed the Maze Runner films, and one of the leading storywriters behind Rise of Skywalker, fucking YIKES) but hey, at least it has more than one name attached to it.

But okay, if we're gonna play the comparison game, let's be fair and compare LO to some other works in its own lane. Let's Play announced last year that it would be getting an animated adaption, and it already has a studio backing it that is FAR more suited for it than JHC is to LO - OLM, the same studio whose animated for massive franchises like Pokemon, Yo-Kai, and Gudetama. JHC meanwhile has animated... motion capture kid shows like Word Party. Because that's the only kind of animation they actually specialize in when it comes to their in-house services. Sure, they also have Harriet the Spy, but that wasn't animated by them, that was animated by Titmouse Inc (heh sorry).

I'm the Grim Reaper recently had its own animated adaption announced, and who's in charge of it? Oh, only SAM FUCKING RAIMI-

And look, maybe the Let's Play and I'm the Grim Reaper adaptions won't happen either. I just think it's ironic that they both have more to show for themselves in terms of credible names attached to them than what LO has managed to scrape up after five years of promising that it's "still happening" (especially when one of those series is nowhere near as big as LO and the one that WAS as big as LO walked away from Webtoons entirely). For Webtoons' own "worldwide phenomenon", they sure have given LO the shit end of the stick by pairing it with a family-with-kids-under-10 production studio that doesn't specialize in animation and a showrunner who got her start with the Cosmopolitan (weird how LO has so many plugs with Cosmo, huh? Why is JHC producing the show again?)

At the end of the day, nothing's changed. It's still just the ole' "it's still happening" record on a loop, while the comic itself falls further out of favor with people. And it's likely gonna be going behind DailyPass soon, so just think about what that's gonna do to its relevancy after it gets sent away to the equivalent of the Webtoons graveyard.

As I've said countless times before every time this topic comes up, at best, if it is still happening, and I'm wrong about all of this, they are doing the worst job I've ever seen at hyping people up and keeping them informed. It is NOT a good thing that people have to keep asking Rachel if it's still happening.

As for worst case... you wanna know what other projects come to my mind that have fallen into the same state of development hell and decay as LO's TV show? YandereSim and Cryamore. What do you think the popular opinion is about those works and their creators now? Because if you don't know either of those names and are about to google them, let me give you a heads up warning - it's not positive.

If it happens, it happens. It will hopefully be before I get all the therapy I need to undo what LO has done to my brain so that I don't have to make repeat visits LOL But if it's after, hey, maybe the show will be good! Assuming Rachel doesn't, y'know, E.L. James the whole thing. Because frankly, the show will need to cut and rework a LOT of stuff to be any good IMO and I don't think that will be possible if Rachel gets directly involved. But I'm not even hoping for that scenario because there's literally NOTHING to give me that hope, "it's still happening" is nothing more than "don't panic" corporate speak to me at this point. It's cynical, but I just can't waste my energy caring about it anymore.

[txtmetonight]

Revelation ✆

call summary ⋆ ★ When a date gone wrong...goes right!

pairing *. * Yang Jeongin x Fem! Reader (ft. Hwang Hyunjin)

genre⋆ ★ Fluff

warnings *. Mentions of blood and violence, crude language

call duration⋆ ★ 1.9k

a/n*. * I feel bad for not working on my other works but then again I realize I'm doing this for free out of my own enjoyment so... I hope you enjoy it!! Also, look out for the little surprise at the end ><

taglist ⋆ ★ @kflixnet

Dating apps suck, everyone knows that.

Jeongin knows that too, but you find it ironic that you both found each other on a matchmaking platform but as best friends. You two had too much in common to continue anything further than friendship.

But as of right now as you stare out of the window of your car (parked in a five-star restaurant for your date) you think of it as a mistake. You know it’s a mistake.

Yet you still proceed with hiding your feelings and push past the negative overtone with dating apps (due to the whimsical horror stories that each app gains) to find your next person.

The new one that would bring feelings of elation. And usually, when you find a decent human being, they do give you sweet joy! But only for a short while until you’re back on the hunt again.

“I can’t believe you found another person that quick,” Jeongin sighs. He sits in the driver’s seat and fiddles with the radio until he finds something that he likes.

You give him a quick queasy grin and settle into your seat. Your date said that he was going to be there at six. The clock currently reads five fifty-seven.

“Well…I like to keep my options open.” He rolls his eyes at your words and places something in your pocket. When you pull it out, you notice that it is your favorite candy, the one that you keep with you on every date to help calm you down. He must've noticed that you were running out.

"I love you what the fuck"

“Yeah yeah, I know, I love you too." You give him a crinkled smile. "But be careful because one of those ‘options’ could actually an axe murderer and the next thing I know is that you’re found in a ditch. Dead. And you’re suddenly on a true crime podcast.”

You snort at his words, heart in your throat when he gives you a cheesy smile and unlocks the door so you can get out. You wish to stay, though.

“You’re being dramatic, Jeongin. Plus, this Hyunjin guy seems nice. What guy with a dog named Kkami sounds like he would kill someone?”

“You would never know.” He shrugs his shoulders and suddenly leans a little forward to wipe away at the corner of your lips and you feel your cheeks tremendously heat up.

You’re lucky that it’s getting dark to see the way that your eyes dart to his lips. When he pulls back, you try not to scamper over to his warmth; missing the touch it left on you.

“But anyways, you know the drill. Call me if he gets weird or if you’re done. I have to go pick something up, so I’ll be in the place,” Jeongin drawls as you get out of the car. He slowly rolls down the windows when you wave at him.

“Sure thing. Don’t miss me.”

He chuckles and pulls out of the parking lot, leaving you alone with a huff of your breath. And then you turn towards the towering restaurant with thoughts of regret.

You’re tired of pretending and you’re tired of going on meaningless dates. And with all honesty, deep down in your heart, you do this to make him potentially jealous. Does it work? You don’t know.

You just want to be with the one you want and get what you crave, differently

You’re right. And Jeongin is…probably, ninety-five percent wrong. Maybe your date is a killer, and you don’t know yet. But Hyunjin is a nice guy and he’s sweet as honey.

He’s sickeningly handsome too, right up your alley but he doesn’t bring that same spark that Jeongin does, so you feel bad as he pours you another drink. You still let yourself indulge in some of his flirty gestures though; they’re kind of cute–really.

“Do you have any hobbies?” He asks, cutting up his (your) lamb chops. You two are playing a classic game of twenty questions but with a twist. If you two have anything remotely similar, you both switch meals.

It’s quite fun and you’ve taken two bites of Hyunjin’s chicken piccata, not counting the one that you shovel into your mouth as his eyes glint at you.

It churns your stomach when you realize that you only see Jeongin’s twinkle in your mind. You’ve fallen bad. Horribly bad.

“Uhh,” You think, “Art. I do a lot of visual art–all kinds I suppose.”

He seems to light up at your words. “Really! Me too!” He takes a small pause. “Maybe you can show me one day.”

“For sure.” You laugh at his excitement finding it endearing. You then gesture to take back your plate. It goes slowly dwindles down; the eagerness and it becomes a little suffocating as you try to think of a question to ask the man in front of you.

Hyunjin who you see doesn’t really mind, picks up the atmosphere immediately and excuses himself to go to the bathroom. A waiter comes by in the meanwhile and fills up his drink, placing a lemon on the top.

Staring at the fruit, dazed and in thought that’s when you recognize that even though Hyunjin was a great man, maybe you should put the date to a stop and apologize.

You felt bad that it was going to be another failed date and that you were going to go home without your feelings sorted and a semi-broken heart.

Your heart aches in a familiar sense as you pull out your phone to text him to pick you up soon.

[You] heyy can you come pick me up???

[Partner in crime] sure, i’m already here. did he do something weird?

[You] nah, he’s sweet. he’s just not my type ig

[Partner in crime] mmmmm ok. does he look as good as he does in his pfp?

[You] why?? are you jealous?

[Partner in crime] …

[Partner in crime] maybe

You’re about to respond to his cryptic texts, your thumbs ready to get sore but Hyunjin suddenly sits down in his seat, and you’re forced to put down your phone.

He takes another bite of his food, finishing it off with a sip of his drink, which he quickly cringes. He quietly tells you that the lemon was too sour for his taste. Meanwhile, you try to open your mouth to say something, but he quickly beats you to it.

“This isn’t working, is it?”

Your eyes widen and your apologetically twist your lips to the side, nodding nervously. Yet he just smiles at your assent and calls for a check.

“I’m sorry. I just…I currently have someone else that I have in mind. You didn’t do anything.”

He just shakes his head. “It’s fine–really. I kind of knew from the start, it’s sort of obvious.” Hyunjin takes a winding sigh as he pays for your meals (you try to refuse but you find him stupidly stubborn).

“Who ‘s the lucky guy though?” He questions, taking your hand so he can help you up before he places a chaste, friendly kiss on the back. You flush a little at his gesture. God, you wish that you didn’t meet him. You feel terrible.

“My friend.”

“I see. How about this? If I walk you to your car right now, you’ll ask him out on a date.” He boasts and you giggle. You accept his preposition, gaining courage from Jeongin’s texts from earlier and let him open the door for you.

You spot Jeongin’s car in the deserted parking lot and point your finger at the black sedan.

On the walk there, you learn a little more about your date and his horrible pick-up confession advice. It’s so stupid that he stumbles around a little because of both of your laughter.

He pushes you when he trips over a well-seen rock like it was your fault that you placed it there and you giggle. He was probably the best date you've had from this app before (excluding Jeongin).

When you get to a respectable distance, you notice that Jeongin isn’t in the car. You suppose that it was so Hyunjin didn’t think you were going home with another man. And even if your date already knew the truth you were grateful that you could have your last words with the man.

Turning around to face him, you smile.

“I’m so sorry Hyunjin.”

His eyebrows furrow and he wobbles a little in his spot, swaying with the wind.

“You…you’ve already apologized. Why are you doing it again?”

You take a step back. “I’m sorry.”

You suppose that you half-heartedly are remorseful because Hyunjin’s an amazing person and you gave him up.

But really aren’t when Jeongin smashes into his face with a wooden bat, splashing blood onto your clothes. Hyunjin falls to the ground, and you grin back at your lover before you both drag the body into the backseat of the car. A bottle of pills in your pocket sears into your skin as you pass the sour drug back to Jeongin.

You two had too much in common; you both met with each other with the same plans unknowingly. You both shared the art of jubilation and the fascination of the dead. Too alike.

But as you stare at him you realize how much you two aren’t. He likes fried chicken. You like it spicy. Jeongin loves the cold, you like it warm.

Yet what makes your heart thrum more is that he takes care of you so charmingly it makes you sick.

He wipes the bodily fluids off you when they splatter, runs you a hot bath after your escapades, and makes sure you eat when you can’t make yourself to. You love him, you really do.

‘Another dead body discovered found off a highway just now…more reports coming to you soon’

The radio buzzes lowly in the background but you don’t pay attention. You only regard Jeongin. The lingering smell of metal wafts through the vehicle even though you already disposed of the body just moments before in a ditch.

You did it together and now you find the bravery that Hyunjin gave you earlier once again.

“Did you make sure to delete the footage?” You start off saying and he gives you a playful glare as if he was offended.

“Of course I did. I was able to get rid of a whole week of film and I even parked in a blind spot when you got him out. Just to make sure.”

You sigh and pull out your phone. It glints off the blood on your face.

“You’re really fucking amazing.”

“I know.” He speaks. You tap him on the shoulder, and he slows down the car a little to face you. Jeongin grins when you pull up your texts with each other.

“What did you mean when you said that you were jealous?”

“Exactly what you think I meant.”

Clicking your tongue, you softly push him. You try to think of what to say because the words of your confession are in your throat and they burn as you try to express your feelings coolly, but Jeongin all of a sudden stops the car and turns off the headlights.

He grabs your hand and interlocks it with his, fingers pressing into your skin, sending goosebumps up your arm.

“What the hell Yang Jeongi–”

He kisses you. And you immediately reciprocate with your bloody hands on his cheeks, staining his skin with the ruby smears. This only pulls him closer towards you as you pull apart for air, just for him to close the gap again.

This time the kiss is sweeter, and you feel the love coursing between your veins. The rush of energy you look for is right here in your arms.

“I love you,” He whispers. Your lover nuzzles into your hands.

“Yeah? Me too.” You kiss his cheek. “But why so suddenly?”

“I didn’t like you with Hyunjin. I actually don’t like you going on dates anymore–I never have. You might leave me if you find someone better.”

You scoff, “Like I would. Don’t worry, you have all of me, Innie.” He stares at you in silence, and you can see the admiration swirling in his eyes.

“All of you?” He squeezes your arm three times and rubs at your lips, where some of the blood collects.

“Always have.”

He kisses you again.

[frostytherobot]

Alright. Because I’m thinking about Creep as a film series because they just announced more Creep in the form of THE CREEP TAPES (I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG… it’s not a movie but a TV SHOW!!!) I’m just gonna ramble a little bit about why those movies are so important to me.

First, though:

^ That’s my Creep tattoo. I got it over a year ago and show it off whenever I can.

So, onward.

I watched the first Creep movie for the first time during quarantine lockdown. It was like March of 2021? (Hold on, let me link the episode of my podcast for that.) (Yup. Don’t mind my pre-T voice.) That was like one of the loneliest times of my life. You know how it was, you were there, too. Fucking. Awful. I felt like there was just this bubble of sadness around me and nobody could get through to me. Sure, I had friends I could talk to over the internet, but that can only get you so far. Especially when they have their own lives and you can’t see them face to face.

One night, my two best college buddies and I decided we should watch it for our podcast. That was the one thing we could do that we could talk to each other consistently with, so we went for it. And, fuck. You can hear in that episode how freaked out that movie made us! We talk about human behaviors and the compulsion to kill and where that stems from, the relationship between politeness and gender roles, and lot of other related topics in that episode. It’s a smart film that knows how to suck you into the reality; you see these two men up close and personal, their odd behaviors, and the found footage formatting and intimate setting make you feel as though you are there witnessing all of this with them. As them. Those awkward moments make you cringe; watching Josef admit to stalking Aaron, catching Josef on the lies, tubby time. Oh, god, tubby time.

And then there was the ending. The moment where the camera is left in the car, you’re left in the car, and you just have to watch as Josef puts on the Peachfuzz wolf mask, flourishes his jacket, and buries that axe into Aaron’s head. The shot is static. It’s matter-of-fact, and that’s why it’s so horrifying. He’s dead. You followed this shy, awkward guy on his journey getting to know an oddball all the way to the lake, and he’s dead now. And then, the murderous oddball looks directly into the camera, and while he says Aaron’s name, he’s looking at you as he says, “That is why I love you. And that is why you will always be my favorite. Of them all.” Like he was thanking you for witnessing this event.

I felt like there was someone behind me for hours afterward. Josef had somehow gotten into my home. And that’s how it started.

Months later, we watched the second one. (Episode link here.) Of course we loved it. I loved it. It wasn’t as scary as the first one, but the intimacy and emotional connection was still there. That feeling of watching two people through their own eyes was still there. Only this time, they were trying to out-weird each other, or at least come together on a level they could both understand. The thing is, they were still misunderstanding each other. Sara is only comfortable with Josef’s Aaron’s freakiness because she thought he was lying to her when he wasn’t. The moment she starts to take it seriously is when she decides to leave, and that’s when Josef Aaron pulls out the lies and the deceit to bring her back in. And when she comes back in, that’s when she starts being genuine, letting her guard down, and that’s when she gets into trouble. She starts to believe in the watered-down version of Josef Aaron, seeing the front of softness as a vulnerability in him, and to a point, it is. But she totally disregards everything else that has happened during this day as some kind of ruse, when she should have kept those moments in mind. He’s still a killer, and dangerous, even if he plays it like he isn’t.

Sara ultimately pays the price for entertaining his whims. I guess Aaron did, too, but in a different way. While Aaron died and became a part of Josef, Sara now cannot get rid of him. He tries to kill her, and she runs, refusing his gift of death and absorption into himself, but now he follows her. She’s literally moved on, but like a ghost or a bad dog with attachment issues, he still follows her. He gave her his heart, after all.

And then I got to putting two and two together on why exactly all of this was appallingly appealing to me. I was alone. I was drifting further into this state of paradoxical nothing-pain. And suddenly, I was being welcomed into a dynamic in which I was wanted. It was an obsessive want, but I was wanted. He got me. They all did. Josef, Aaron, Sara. Suddenly I’m seeing aspects of my loneliness on screen. The slow reveal of the odd personality traits, the waiting to see the reaction. Pulling those traits back in when they’re not met with the tolerance I wish was there. The staying when I feel so uncomfortable because I want to understand. Upping the ante in an act of bonding. Feeling like I’ve found someone who’s on my wavelength, only to find they weren’t as okay with the whole me as I thought. The sudden urge to end it all. To kill the relationships. Move on, knowing they were dead, but I could still have the memories. They were getting distant. I could do it, you know. Just end it all right then.

Of course, I didn’t do that. But I felt it. I felt it a lot during that time.

I’ve not been super mentally healthy over my time being alive. I’ve been hospitalized for it. Not a fun experience, by the way. But that was another aspect that just drew me closer to Peachfuzz. He’s funny, and weird, and unstable. Always lying to appeal to the people around him because he wants them to stay, for sincere and sinister reasons. He’s terrible and lonely. I was terrible and lonely.

And there it was. Crystal clear. Los aguas milagros de corazón. I was taking comfort in a manifestation of something dark that I saw in myself. A mischievous, funny, isolated, totally fucked-in-the-head, murderous darkness. I wasn’t alone in that room anymore, and yeah, perhaps my company should’ve been something not so, well, creepy, but I thanked him for being there. I could put a face with the feeling, and the nothing-pain started going away.

He’s a friend of mine now. And I love him a lot.

[crochetedblorbos]

"Stay safe out there."

Character Name: Mistholme/The Audio Tour Guide

Fandom: @the-mistholme-museum [Podcast]

Voiced/Written By: Dom Guilfoyle

Yarn Used: Body: CraftSmart Value - Black Interface: CraftSmart Value - Heather Gray Voice: CraftSmart Value - Black Headphones: CraftSmart Value - Black

Basic pattern here.

Do you have any fucking idea how much it sucks wanting to hug something that not only literally but canonically doesn’t have a body? A lot.

Oh, my sweet, innocent, naive, trusting little Guide. Never lose that childlike wonder, no matter how much about the world you learn. And never lose your love of storytelling. I had hoped to finish Declan and the Guide before the finale of Mistholme, but I figure I finished close enough to the end that I can still ride that high. (Also, if you haven’t listened, go listen. Now. If you liked TMA’s format of “seemingly unconnected/only loosely connected stories that slowly coalesce into a coherent storyline that can, will, and must break your heart a thousand times over and have you begging for more”, you’ll love it.)

The Guide went through a lot of transformations over the course of the show, both in terms of personality and in terms of…existence, I guess. Without spoiling too terribly much, I rather got the impression at the beginning of the podcast that there were physical audio tour guides you would pick up at the entrance to the Mistholme Museum with the latest version of the Guide on them that you would then turn in before leaving, but by the end, you could—and frequently did—download the Guide directly to your phone. So how do you convey that as something you can give the hugs it so richly deserves and desperately needs?

This is a fun one to write up, because…well, for the most part, I didn’t vary the basic pattern. As mentioned, the Guide doesn’t have a body, but it does have a personality, so I just made a black, person-shaped void to be its “body”. Where it varies, though…is the head.

Interface: I wanted this to look like the display screen of an audio tour guide, so I stitched in the back loops only of the stitches forming a square where a person’s face would be beginning with R60 and ending on R71. Then I embroidered a sound wave onto it. Simple enough to describe. Surprisingly only slightly more difficult to execute.

Headphones: You’ve probably figured this out by now, but I will absolutely make my life as complicated as possible in order to avoid having to sew too many pieces together. I think these turned out pretty damn good, though! Pattern is as follows:

Earpiece 1:

R1: 6sc in magic circle, sl st in first sc (6 sc). R2: Ch 1, 2sc in each st around, sl st in first sc (12 sc). R3: Ch 1, [sc in first st, 2sc in next st] 6 times around, sl st in first sc (18 sc). R4: Ch 1, [sc in first two st, 2sc in next st] 6 times around, sl st in first sc (24 sc). R5: Ch 1, sc in first st, ch 2, skip next st, sc in next 23 st, sl st in first sc (23 sc, 2 ch). R6: Ch 1, sc in first st, sc in ch sp, [inv dec, sc in next 2 st] 5 times around, inv dec, sl st in first sc (18 sc). R6: Ch 1, [sc in back loop of first st, inv dec] 6 times around, sl st in first sc (12 sc). R7: Ch 1, inv dec 6 times around, sl st in first st (6 sc).

Sl st up to ch sp.

Headband:

R8: Ch 1, 2sc in ch sp, sc in next 4 st around gap, sl st in first sc (6 sc). R9-17: Ch 1, sc in each st around, sl st in first sc (6 sc). R18-22: Ch 1, sc in first two st, hdc in next st, dc in next two st, hdc in next st, sl st in first sc (2 sc, 2 hdc, 2 dc). R23-27: Ch 2, hdc in each st around, sl st in first hdc (6 hdc). R28-32: Ch 1, sc in first two st, hdc in next st, dc in next two st, hdc in next st, sl sti n first sc (2sc, 2hdc, 2dc). R33-42: Ch 1, sc in each st around, sl st in first sc (6 sc). Fasten off.

Earpiece 2:

R1: 6sc in magic circle, sl st in first sc (6 sc). R2: Ch 1, 2sc in each st around, sl st in first sc (12 sc). R3: Ch 1, [sc in first st, 2sc in next st] 6 times around, sl st in first sc (18 sc). R4: Ch 1, [sc in first two st, 2sc in next st] 6 times around, sl st in first sc (24 sc). R5: Ch 1, sc in first st, ch 2, skip next st, sc in next 23 st, sl st in first sc (23 sc, 2 ch). R6:    Ch 1, sc through first st and first st of end of headband, sc through ch sp and second st of end of headband, inv dec through end of headband, [sc in next two st, inv dec] five times around, sl st in first sc through end of headband if necessary (18 sc). R7: Ch 1, [sc in back loop of first st, inv dec] 6 times around, sl st in first sc (12 sc). R8: Ch 1, inv dec 6 times around, sl st in first st (6 sc).

Sl st down to bottom of headpiece.

Cord: Ch 34. Sc in 2nd ch from hook, sc in next 5 ch, sl st into next ch, turn. Sc in back of ch 6 times, sl st in first sc. Ch to desired length.

Join to head next to interface.

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Hey there!

I wanted to post that for a while so, here we are.

Wondering who’s behind this blog?

Here’s something about me under the cut:

• I identify as a woman, my pronouns are she/her

• Born and raised in Italy, I still live there.

• I’m 141 LOL but according to people I still look like I’m in my 30s so let me indulge in that, thank you very much.

• I don't think there's anyone who makes me more feral than Joel Miller. I just can’t help it. My (un)holy Pedro characters triad is Joel, Oberyn and Peña 💕 (immediately followed by Frankie)

• I have a little elephant pendant that I always wear, no one knows what it's about *wink*

• I’m Leo Sun, Libra Rising and Aries Moon. You scared? I promise I don’t bite, unless explicitly requested 😏

• I’m Bi/Pan as fuck, always been obviously but I realized only last year. LOL, better late than never i guess. I only have problems with cisgender straight white males because I mean… they’re the worst, okay, I don’t make the rules.

• Single, unmarried, not interested in having kids even a little bit, I prefer to be the cool auntie.

• I love cooking and I'm quite good at it, I had good genes from my Italian grandmas 😌

• I can’t function without coffee, especially in the morning. I take my coffee bitter with just a little bit of milk.

• I can’t stand lies, the phrase “oh I didn't tell you so as not to make you suffer” (UGH, no you didn’t tell me ‘cause you’re a fucking coward and that’s it, my friend), misogyny, racism, fascism, homophobia, bi-erasure, any other form of verbal or physical violence towards LGBTQIA+ people, injustice in general, if you are any of the above you are not welcome here or in my life.

• I love dogs. I have a poodle named Brienne after the GOT character, she’s 5 years old so that means she got me through pandemic and she’s my love and joy. Isn’t she adorable? Yes, she is.

• I’m unfortunately allergic to cats (yep, like Pedro) and can’t pet them unless I wish for an asthma attack. That sucks, I know.

• I have deep brown curly hair, brown eyes and I’m short (158 cm).

• I have a lot of freckles, you could go on a treasure hunt following them.

• I’ve been to more than 100 concerts in my life including some festivals abroad.

• I currently listen to Hozier and Chappell Roan on a daily basis. I also love Billie Eilish, used to be a big Muse fan (listen, their first albums were great, okay) plus I’m a sucker for ‘90/‘00 music ‘cause that’s the music I grew up with.

• I love beer more than wine.

• I love reading, I used to read all the time, I have less time to do it now and it bothers me so much. I’m still reading fanfiction though. 🤭

• I’m a sucker for True Crime Podcasts, I only listen to Italian ones for now so unless you’re Italian you don’t know my faves and it’s a pity ‘cause they’re really good.

• Cults scare the shit out of me but at the same time they’re one of the things that makes me more curious ‘cause my mind can’t really comprehend what happens in people’s mind when they get sucked into them.

• Some tv series I love in no particular order: The Last of Us, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Lost, The Handmaid’s Tale, Bojack Horseman, GOT (until seasons 7 & 8 happened 💀), Sense 8, Jane the Virgin, Grace and Frankie, Narcos, Only Murders in the building, The Bear, Succession, The Morning Show, Friends, Stranger Things (mostly because Jim Hopper is there, certainly not for those z*onists, you know), Mad Men, Gilmore Girls (Luke Danes *cough*), Mindhunter, Peaky Blinders (huge Tommy Shelby’s slut, don’t look at me like that, okay), My Brilliant Friend, The Affair, Black Mirror (until last seasons happened but it used to be one of the greatest things ever), The Walking Dead (got bored halfway through season 9, I recently started a rewatch and I hope to get to the very end of it lol), Fleabag, Normal People, When They See Us, Hill House, Bly Manor, Midnight Mass, Chernobyl.

• Films I love in no particular order: Parasite, Aftersun, Past Lives, All of Us Strangers, Brokeback Mountain, Almost Famous, The Goonies, Stand By Me, The Breakfast Club, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, The Lobster, The Neon Demon, Midsommar, One Day, When Harry Met Sally, There’s still tomorrow, Strange Way of Life, Prospect, The Banshess of Inisherin, Coco, The Emperor’s New Groove (so underrated), Mommy, The Virgin Suicides, Girls Interrupted, Saltburn, Promising Young Woman, Little Women (1994), Gone Girl, Shoplifters, Bin-Jip 3 Iron, Love Me If You Dare, The Piano, Fried Green Tomatoes, Notorious, Some like it Hot, Rear Window and you can ask for my Letterboxd account for more.

• Bad weather makes me sad and melancholy.

• I obviously love Italian cuisine with all my heart but I also love to try new dishes especially when I’m abroad. I love chocolate and I have a sweet tooth in general but there’s nothing I crave more than good carbs (I can be happy with a slice of good bread or focaccia). I love spicy food but I can't handle it when it’s very very spicy.

• I love bags, I have so many bags and I still want more lol

• When I was a kid I wanted to be a writer or a journalist. What do I do now? I’m a secretary LOL (I also have a second job not related to writing as well)

• As a friend, I’m loyal to the bone, I could do anything for you if I love you. If you betray me real bad though don’t expect a second chance, I mean I could try but I know i can’t ‘cause you’re changed forever in my eyes.

• I have so many kinks, you can ask if you want to know, okay. Also, so many authors here are responsible for giving me new ones. I love you deeply.

If you want to know more my asks and dm are open!

Here’s a little bit of me, byeeeee.

[gothicwidowsworld]

First kiss M.A

Warning: literally based of my first kiss experience, yes i know its embarrassing but also fucking hilarious also couldn’t find a gif from the episode i wanted so have this instead :)

“I… I don’t understand how I keep getting roped into this shit.” the y/h/c young woman grumbled loudly taking a sip of some leftover French chardonnay. The chardonnay had been an unexpected but welcomed surprise, after complaining a few episodes ago about the sheer amount of reds that were featured the wannabe sommelier Clément Novalak made sure to select a white for the girl. Clem had probably dropped the name of the province the golden liquid had come from during his spell about aged oak barrels and the apricot orange-peel floral notes but in this exact moment Y/N could not have cared less. 

“Because you love spending time with us.” Marcus replied, shooting the girl a cocky smile as his honey eyes captured her familiar y/e/c over his sunglasses. “Debatable.” Y/N hummed snarkily. “Clem is bearable at times, but you two….” Y/N gestured at the two Kiwi boys before trailing off taking another sip from her sadly rapidly emptying glass. “I’m going to take that as the compliment I’m hoping it was intended to be.” The French driver mumbled, absentmindedly readjusting his bow-tie.  “Aw you know I love you Clemmie” the y/s/c young woman exclaimed in a sing-song tone playfully throwing her free arm around the tuxedo donned man. “And yet no love for me… not even a little. What kind of girlfriend are you!” Marcus moaned in disbelief at the long-time friendship being rubbed in his face. “Oh quit whining and get on with it.” Y/N sassily retaliated rolling her eyes at the Kiwi’s hysterics. 

“Fine.” Marcus grumbled, however he struggled to hold back the building smile. If there was one thing Marcus sucked at it was hiding his emotions. It didn’t take a genius to work out how he felt about the young woman. From the way his soft golden hazel eyes would sparkle to the small twitches of his upper lip as he tried to bite back a growing grin. “I meant to ask Max during the podcast but I never got around to it, so when and where is your first kiss.” Marcus continued, still slightly kicking himself that he’d forgotten to ask such a juicy question to Max ‘rejected him 26 times’ Fewtrell himself. “We can re-divert!” James stated quickly a smug grin beginning to form, the grin targeted towards the F2 Driver dropped quickly when Clem expertly deflected the question “Actually James when was your first kiss.” The Frenchman asked. “It was in Whangamatā actually in 2013.” The dark blond began setting the scene. “2013?!” Y/N coughed out choking slightly on a sudden giggle. If she did the maths quickly that meant James hadn’t kissed anyone until he was sixteen. This new found knowledge practically obliterated the cool suave Bond-like demeanour James had built up. There wasn’t anything wrong with saving your first kiss, absolutely nothing wrong with going at your own pace. But Y/N had known James since he was 18 and the idea that James could probably have somewhat confidently chugged a weak beer before even locking lips with a girl was mind blowing. Shooting the older man an apologetic smile Y/N continued listening to James retelling of probably one of his most awkward life milestones. “Did you give her a wee pecker.. Or was it a slobbery kiss?” Marcus quizzed his fellow countryman, enjoying the growing bashfulness coming from his mate.

Soon it became clear it was Y/N turn to share her recollection of her first kiss. She wished she could lie and say she simply didn’t remember but knowing Marcus well she knew the Kiwi wouldn’t let it go, especially if he thought it could potentially be a little embarrassing. Groaning Y/N pondered for a second, placing her wine glass down and tucking her legs neatly beneath her. Adjusting her hoodie she racked her brains, the Screaming Meals Trio were some of her closest friends but there were still some things the girl didn’t feel needed to be shared and reliving certain parts of her childhood was one of them. Boy looking back Y/N was embarrassed enough, she didn’t need the trio pissing themselves laughing. So, what about your first kiss Y/N/N ?” the French native asked, his narrowed dark hazel eyes sparkling with mischief. “Marcus didn’t have to share his so why should I?” Y/N frowned, narrowing her eyes playfully at the Kiwi sat directly across from her. “Well firstly mine wasn’t that interesting, secondly it’s my show.” Marcus called out, poking his tongue out a little at his reasoning.  

“Ok first kiss.” Y/N began pausing for a second. “Like first proper kiss when you were aware of what was happening?” Y/N asked slowly hoping for some clarity, her head tilt in slight confusion. 

“Woah woah woah how many guys have you kissed that you ‘weren't aware of?’” Marcus objected loudly shuffling forward from his relaxed position, emphasizing his point with air quotes. Marcus wouldn’t call himself jealous, in fact that’s one of the last words he’d ever associate with himself, but the idea that there could potentially be a list of guys who’d kissed his girlfriend before him was difficult. The Kiwi Driver couldn’t help the surfacing insecurity, I mean what if (god forbid)  they were better kissers than him? “Don’t be gross Marcus… I mean like I don't want to say 4 or 5 mate… I barely remember it other than he’d been nagging me for ages and apparently he was no longer satisfied with my sadistic self only letting him kiss the bottom of my foot…” 

Stifling a giggle at the mixture of reactions from the boys Y/N shrugged as if her statement was beyond normal. “Also sorry Greg if that made you realise you had a foot fetish or something….” The girl added, reaching to collect her previously abandoned glass. “Uh… ok so what about your first proper kiss then?” Clem managed to ask, the Frenchman still slightly frozen in shock. “Um I was in year four so like 8… oh god…” Y/N trailed off cringing at the memory of this relationship. Hell could she even class it as a relationship? It hadn’t lasted that long, but it had been her first real exposure to boys. The boy in question had been the popular boy at school, all the girls had wanted him and he’d picked her. Something young Y/N had been so immensely proud of. 

“I’m probably going to regret asking this but how old was he?” James interrupted hesitantly, a look of concern filling his pale features. “I think. I think maybe 11? Oh fuck that’s  questionably dodgy.” the young woman groaned in realisation. “That’s like mega dodgy… 10 shades of dodgy.” the insurance broker agreed quickly, running a hand over his face. Silence fell over the small group. You could probably have heard a pin drop, or the sharp intake of breath from an extremely baffled Kiwi named Marcus Armstrong. “Jesus Y/N/N I think I can hear some police sirens.” Marcus exclaimed, clearing his throat, all the brown haired driver got in response was a half-hearted shrug. “Well you wanted something interesting?” the y/h/c girl replied simply. 

[readingfolklore]

just heard a morbid podcast about the murdered victim - kelly anne bates. tw: there's extreme domestic violence and murder being talked about in my post below.

firstly, kelly was just 14 years old when she entered a relationship with a man who was aged "32", i'm using quotations because it's later revealed that by the time kelly turns 16 the man is actually 48, it begs the question - who in the right mind thinks that a person in their 30's, 40's, 50's and so on finds it acceptable to be dating a minor? like WHO??? if someone sends me an anonymous ask saying they do, i will lose my shit and i will block your fucking ass. this man is a paedophile. period. and while people can say, "why didn't the parents split them up?", they wanted to, but they knew the more they pushed their daughter not to see this abusive man, the more their daughter would retaliate and drift more towards him and away from them - which is true, and they do hold a tremendous amount of guilt for not doing more to protect their daughter and my heart goes out to them.

secondly, now this part is going to be gruesome to read about and my heart literally sank listening to the podcast. the day of kelly's murder, her partner confesses to the cops that he killed his partner in the bathtub "by accident" while they were being intimate. when the police showed up to the house, they found kelly in the bathtub dead. except, this didn't look like an accident. they found kelly had scalding on her buttocks, a fractured arm, stab wounds inside of her mouth, mutations on different parts of her body, multiple stab wounds on her body, and the worst part is that they found her with her eyes gouged out of her eye sockets and they later found out that her eyes had been taken out three weeks prior to her murder. so, she was alive while her eyes had been gouged out and she was still living after the incident happened. they also learned that kelly had been stabbed in the empty eye sockets multiple times. and do you know what the sick fuck said to the cops in his weak ass attempt to defend himself? he said, "i only did to kelly what she wanted me to do", so he tried to pass it off as a fucking s&m thing, like NO. nobody who is into s&m and bdsm would agree to having their eyes gouged out in the name of "pleasure", like fuck off. and to make matters worse, because this happened in the uk and i strongly believe our life sentences suck ass over here, the person who tortured & murdered kelly only got 20 years in prison. personally, i think that sentence is a joke and i would have demanded longer. this whole case from the get go made my blood curdle and boil because, while i don't blame kelly's parents because they thought they were doing the right thing and tried to not push kelly away from them, more should have been done to protect kelly. this all happened in the mid-90's, but it shouldn't matter too much when it comes to a minor dating an adult. that has never been okay and it never will be okay. i'm also really glad that alaina and ashley talked a bit about abuse, especially psychological abuse, in this case and i really feel like it's something that needs to be talked about more. if anyone does want to listen to the podcast, it's only spotify with ads, but just be warned they do go into quite a bit of detail about the case. it's definitely a case that i'm passionate about, which is why i'm writing about it on here, to release some thought on it, i guess.

[writingbeforemidnight]

Why we have compassion for incels and hate "femcels"

Femcel. What a weird word. But I see it. Every scroll through my insta reel feed reveals it. "You're such a femcel", they might say. Bitter, hidden behind their phones. It's probably a women's rights post. Maybe something about abortions, toxic tampons or just that one video of that girl that recorded herself every time a man disappointed her.

"Femcel", the commets scream. As if women ever have problems getting laid. I'm one, and I'm striving. But that's besides the point.

The main difference between an incel and a femcel begins with the name. Incels, men "involuntarily in celibate", are a group that came off reddit. They named themselves that. They chose that name, and created their own community with their own vocabulary. "Femcels" however, is a name created by similar people. Men, frustrated with women and so called "radical feminism" (even though most things they are mad at, aren't even radical, but primarily human rights).

Now, creating these terms is a form of power, because it creates a narrative, the incels can control. They are the incels, they hate the "chads" but also the "stacys" and especially the "femcels". They have the power to paint the caricature of the femcel however they please. Surely, if there is a bunch of man haters, that has to mean, that women hating is also somewhat okay, right?

The incel movement is perceived as a defensive movement, that shields itself from female violence, femcels, unrealistic beauty standards other people set on them, loneliness and more.

You can see that, if you type in "incel" into the YouTube search bar. There's a Joe Rogan podcast, where the movement is seen as reactionary, or there is the Jubilee "ask an incel anything" video, further humanizing incels or videos about how little men are actually incels. But no video is harsh (enough).

Incels are rewarded with sympathy and humanity. Their actions have validity in context of their struggles. They are broadly seen as human.

But all of these videos fail to see, that the movement is not defensive, but offensive. It doesn't defend itself from violence, it creates it. It creates it's enemies, not based on stats or facts, but based on opinions from other radical content creators, that tell this tale of the "evil woman" and carry on their prejudices like a virus. The movement does not react to beauty standards, it makes them up and then blames other people for it. The movement doesn't help against loneliness, it creates a vicious circle that reinforces it.

---

I still remember being a Christina Aguilera fan in my early teens. And she has one kind of unknown song called "I hate boys", where she talkes about how boys "suck" and how "all men are dogs" because they play with girls and all of that stereotypical stuff.

Anyway, people were PISSED. No one bats an eye when men say they hate women because they are sensitive, stupid, gold-diggers and bad drivers, but don't you dare call a boy stupid! It's so fucked up how women can't call men stupid, while also being called ho3s, s1uts and almost every other slur there is on every rap song.

Male misbehaviour is always overshadowed. And when it's too big to be overshadowed, then it's being justified.

And "femcels"? Well, there are many reasons to treat them differently and hold them to higher standards! First of all, the patriarchy has women stuck in a very strict role. Of course women can have rage, but if so, even their rage is required to be aesthetically appealing, not ugly or disorted. We, as a society, don't allow women to be ugly. The worst image we know isn't the one of a man raping a woman, but the image of a feminist, with short blue hair and long armpits, smelling of sweat.

It's because even in 2024 women are still oppressed. Oppression creates structural barriers, that benifits some at the expense of others, the expense being the creation of a dilemma. When you can't do anything right, ever, that's called oppression. Women can't conform to society and women can't not conform.

The reason why we have compassion for incels and hate femcels, is because they are women and we don't have compassion for women.

Because we never see the humanity in women.

It's so sad, that we have more compassion with the movement that created several serial killers, like Elliot Rodgers, than with women. But then again, when has our society ever treated women with respect?

I really hope to one day wake up in a world of respect and love. Or maybe I just need to delete Instagram.

---

What do you think?

Love, xx

[lestatslestits]

Hey! I don't mean to be rude, but I was wondering what your take on the allegations against Neil Gaiman is? (Especially considering more women came out about their experiences recently, including on a less controversial podcast) You still post good omens stuff and I haven't seen you say anything about them...(at least upon searching his name, though the Tumblr search function IS broken) Tbh it's none of my business and I should probably just silently unfollow you but I wanted to hear what you think because it's hard not to assume things and I'd rather not. So like. Feel free to ignore this if you want

Hi, Anon

My take is fuck him. My take is that it sucks that the news was originally broken by journalists whose clear conservative ties obscured the conversation. To be clear, I believe the victims and, once more, fuck Gaiman. But the conservative tendency to associate trans people and the people who publicly support them with predatory behavior did impact the credibility of the journalists involved, which sucks. I think the situation becomes clearer as more allegations pop up, but the news cycle being what it is, some people are going to miss even seeing that update. The only reason I even know about them is because the conversation popped up on a horror literature subreddit I follow.

With all of that said, my relationship with Good Omens is my own. I’ve been a fan of the book for something like 12 years, and it’s a book with two authors, one of which is not alive to see these allegations or make a statement. It was a part of my journey to deconstructing my fundamentalist upbringing. It was a part of how I met my incredible partner. I myself am still unpacking my relationship with it in light of this news—kind of like I had to unpack my relationship with it when it had the fingerprints of the most toxic and emotionally damaging relationship I’ve ever been a part of all over it in my mind. If I come up with the perfect solution to having a complex relationship with media made by fucked up human beings I will publish my results and make a gazillion dollars. Until then, I’ll work it out as best I can on my own. As will you, as will everyone.

I could list out all of my triggers and traumas and day-to-day struggles to explain why I may or may not have commented at the time (look, I’ve slept since then, I don’t remember if I did or not). But I’m not gonna do that. I could explain that talking about it would have been triggering to me at the time (and, coincidentally, is potentially triggering to me now, but I’m addressing it anyways). I could point out that my queue is hundreds of posts long, that a lot (not all, but a lot) of the posts you’re seeing are queued, and I don’t have the time or energy to weed through everything I queued months and months ago back when it was a thousand posts long.

But ultimately I can’t actually stop you from making assumptions you’re going to make or not make, I can just speak to you honestly. Fuck Gaiman. Fuck Joss Whedon (whose Buffy series I’m a fan of). Fuck Anne Rice for a list of things that would be longer than your ask. Fuck people who use money, fame, or a position of power to hurt others. That’s my take.

For your own peace, anon, I recommend curating your space in a way that makes you feel comfortable. If that means unfollowing me or not, I wish you the best.

[winderlylandchime]

Don’t even worry about responding to my messages. And I hope your work becomes at least a bit more peaceful so you get your precious scrolling time back. It really does suck to be an adult some times.

And if I remember correctly we started the episode directly at 11.15/16 pm. Because he went back to check how long the episode was and when the reunion happens. And it happens at 43,15 minute mark. So he just kind of tried to do the math and hope for the best and it worked out. Never before has he ever put this much of effort into something.

And yes, the rabbit hole of bts and certain drama has completely taken over his life. He is not a fan of Hal and is now fully convinced the guy was method acting the whole time and he is very upset that he was shady towards them and even tried to figure out what happened but realized that he can’t. So then he decided it maybe had something to do with paychecks and jealousy over that. He is now going through Randy’s podcast and I wish you guys were there to witness his reactions when he found out Randy is polyamorous. Literally walked into the room with a smile on his face and went ‘HE’S NOT FUCKING BORING! He’s actually kinda lowkey but not really like Justin.’ He came across some posts(?) about Randy and his dislike to the show years ago and he was very understanding but he got scared that maybe Randy is real life Ben/Mikey..aka boring. I wanna say that he officially ran out of fan forums to learn any bts drama but I’m not fully sure. So I’m just letting him spiral for now.

As for which fics he was reading/enjoying on the day of his big spiral: I only see daylight by kiranerysed, you know for me it’s always you, now i wake up at night & watch you breathe and you’re in love (true love) by ivysunna. I don’t know if there were any other ones but I’m 99% sure there were. But these were the ones he remembered in the morning when he was telling me about them.

And as for his Bri Bri playlist: it’s songs from the soundtrack that he believes best describe Brian in one way or another (he made me swear to tell you guys that this is a work in progress aka not fully finished yet) but these are some of them: Boys Keep Swinging, How Soon is Now?, Good Old Fashioned Loverboy, Infra Riot, Weapon, The One You Wanted, Brother Down, Unlovable by the smiths, Here nor there. And obviously Lover’s spit and Sandstorm. He has made this song so many people’s problem. He was obsessed with it back in the day so this for him is just nostalgia at this point. Anyway he is weirdly very proud of his playlist. Mind you once upon a time he created a playlist that still exists named ‘first date’ and it’s just Accidentally in Love like 50 times..

I think work will be easier... um after February? I have a lot of new admin tasks and new meeting tasks but the meetings should mostly be over by then.

Hal was method acting! That is certainly an interpretation.

RANDY IS POLYAM! I know! I always assumed he was boring too but he's not! He is a bit of a snob though. He is not an IRL Ben/Mikey though. Thank goodness. (Also based on the podcast, I think he used to put more effort into trying to be monogamous before realizing it's not his cup of tea. So maybe he is formerly boring.)

Also, I saw this on a walk the other day and thought of you, all the podcast devotees here, and your brother.

All the fic you listed are by @kiranerysed ! They have two different AO3 accounts and I know how happy this will make them because they have been following your brother's journey since the start.

The way I almost died laughing about his "first date" playlist. It sounds like his playlist creation skills have advanced somewhat since then. But I swear I was crying from laughing so hard.

[mango-fizz]

hi do you have a link to that post of the the marie reader late night radio talk show interview thingy you wrote i need to dunk my brain in good writing

tumblr search fucking sucks so here just have it, again akfhdkbsbd

As you sit there, listening to Marie introduce you as a guest on her podcast, you can't help but wonder: How did you land this opportunity!? Seriously, holy shit! That's Marie, from the Squid Sisters, right in front of you!

You do your best to make it seem like you're listening and responding like a normal person and totally not losing your mind. 

Really, you should be used to this by now. As a model for popular clothing brands, you've been on countless talk shows, interviews, and events, meeting tons of celebrities and important people in the industry.

But none of them were Marie.

To reiterate, Marie from the Squid Sisters!!

"I'm so glad you found time to come on the show tonight. I'm sure you must be very busy," you hear her say, reminding you that this is very much real. 

"Not at all, I-I must thank you for the opportunity to talk with you, um, on the podcast." You try to make the waver in your voice less obvious. 

Marie chuckles, and even if it was a performative one your hearts still hammer out of your chest. You smile involuntarily. How embarrassing.

She moves on to standard interview questions, many you've already been asked before, but you answer again with twice the enthusiasm, as if it was the first time anyone in the world had ever questioned such a thing.

She flips her flashcards with such elegance, your eyes are drawn to her hands. Every movement she does is filled with grace. Adjusting her mic, tucking her tentacles around her headset, sipping her drink through the straw…

You blush. Okay, seriously, stop it. Pay attention. You have to be professional about this. You clasp your hands together in an attempt to appear serious and in focus, but it's really to conceal how sweaty your palms are.

Marie smirks. "So, I heard you're a big fan of the Squid Sisters?" 

You feel like you might go into cardiac arrest. She found out about that? You hadn't exactly been secretive about it, you suppose. But if she didn't notice the flush in your face before, she must certainly notice now. You clear your throat.

"W-well, yes, actually. I am." You try so hard to not think about the way her eyes light up at your answer. "It's actually because of you that I decided to become a brand model."

"Oh?" she says, and you dread having to say the next words in front of her, or at all, and you briefly wish that someone would splat you right then and there. But she's looking at you with that glint in her eye that you've seen a million times on TV, and you think you could kiss her right now if she asked. 

"When I saw you on stage, or on the news, I was captivated. You shone with such beauty and charisma, and I was just instantly a fan. I thought, if I could be dazzling like you one day, I would be overjoyed."

You realize how cheesy and embarrassing that all sounded. You think you might faint if you weren't already sitting down. You take a sip of your water to distract you from the impending consequences of embarrassing yourself in front of your favorite idol.

"That's… quite the praise. I don't know what to say."

You work up the courage to glance up at her and she… she's blushing!? She's gotta be trying to kill you. Her smile is blinding. You think you might die.

"I feel honored, thank you," she continues, and when she says your name you feel your chest burst with joy. You could die right now and be sure you've lived a happy life. 

You remember you're supposed to act normal. You wrap your hands around your cup to hide their trembling.

"You're very welcome. You and Callie deserve only the highest praise." Yes! That seems normal enough. Good response.

"Do you have a favorite song, if you don't mind me asking?"

And there it is. You duck your head slightly as you mumble, "...Tide Goes Out."

She smiles again.

At this point you think to yourself that there's no way your disastrous crush on Marie hasn't been made blatantly obvious. With your constant praising and blushing every time Marie so much as breathed, you think you probably look a bit ridiculous. Good thing this show is a podcast and people can't see you. 

But Marie can see you. Very well, in fact, seeing as she's right across from you and the table is fairly small, and she's looking at you in such a way that feels like you're being read like an open book and you cannot attempt to hide a single thing from her even if you wanted to. 

"I'm flattered. Don't worry, I won't tell Cal," she says. There's a slight tease to her voice that has you weak. 

You laugh nervously, and it's the lamest response you could have given, but how else would you respond? Is this even real life anymore? You feel bad for the poor asshole that's gonna listen to this podcast ep later next week and die of cringe. 

The rest of the interview is a blur as you do your best to answer the questions as casually as possible. Eventually you find yourself nearing some semblance of relaxation. Marie's dry commentary is entertaining, making you laugh and join her for some witty back and forth. One of your jokes even manages to make her laugh earnestly (the sound made you smile so wide your cheeks hurt.) All of your interactions made you remember why you fell for her in the first place. She truly is just… amazing.

Turns out the poor listener next week will get a decent podcast episode out of this after all.

"Well, I think it's about time to wrap this up," she says. You sigh in equal parts relief and disappointment. Ending the podcast means saying goodbye to Marie. 

She goes through her usual goodbye script (you have it memorized by heart) and turns off the recording. 

"You okay? You seemed kinda nervous there. I'd have thought you'd be more used to interviews," there’s that teasing lilt again, and you can't decide if you're happy she's concerned about you or if you feel mortified. You scramble for some form of explanation.

"Y-yeah, sorry! It's fine. It's just, you're… amazing, Marie," you say, and you briefly worry if you're being too forward. Marie snorts (cute), before waving you off nonchalantly.

"Thanks, but I'm not anything special, really."

"Well, sure you are. I mean, you won the Splatfest, didn't you?"

Marie clears her throat. "I think that hardly matters."