#It has to be horrible for him but I really cannot imagine her keeping up the lie in any convincing manner once the pressure lets off

[shiawasekai]

Just thinking a lot in the time after the Crusade ends and Nela's mental health blatantly nosediving with no end in aight. No matter how much people try to help her, it doesn't work. They sometimes succeed in distracting her long enough to get her to act as normal, but that's just a fleeting mirage.

This goes on for months, not even Ember can push through to help her. Each week a bit more withdrawn, each week a bit less energy to fake being fine.

Work is one of the few things to reliably pull her out of her hole for a bit. So as much as everyone wants her to take a break (she obviously needs it), doing it could cause more damage than anything else.

When Samel finally manages to get through to her, it doesn't fix anything. Not immediately. However, it finally gives her the ability to take the help offered to her, yo search comfort in others and, slowly, pour out everything that has been eating her from inside. A full recovery will still take years, but she finally takes the first step out and the downward spiral stops.

[hopesaheartache]

I never thought I'd be creating an new account and being active on Tumblr again after years just to talk about a new THG book, but I've shipped Hayffie for more than half my life and people on Twitter are really getting on my nerves, so I needed to vent with people I know will understand.

I have some issues with certain narrative choices in SOTR, but I expected that since I’m not a big fan of prequels, especially ones released long after the original story. I think it's very tough to write a prequel more than a decade later without some things feeling like retcons. I had the same issue with TBOSAS, but I’m good at just ignoring that kind of thing. The original trilogy will always exist, so it doesn’t really affect me that much.

But I cannot stand seeing so many people saying the new book makes Hayffie impossible and acting like they're smarter because they don't ship it.

We've always known that Haymitch had a girlfriend when he was a teenager. It's not new information.

Haymitch and Lenore Dove had a sweet, young, idealized love - that ended up being an eternal what if and could it be if Haymitch had never gone to the Games, if Lenore Dove hadn’t died, if they had been born in a better world.

But Haymitch did go to the Games. Lenore Dove did die. They were born into a terrible world.

So why would it be so wrong for him to find love again? To allow himself to be happy? To have a relationship that works within the reality he actually lives in, instead of the one that could have been?

The reason I was drawn to Hayffie years ago and the reason most of my main ships are between mature characters instead of teenagers is because I’ve always found it more interesting when two people, in later stages of life, with scars, baggage, and different experiences, still manage to learn from each other, discover new things, and allow themselves to grow.

It’s so tragic to think of someone’s life as over when they were only 16. And Haymitch’s life is already tragic enough.

What SOTR establishes as canon shows that, despite all odds, Effie and Haymitch are gentle with each other from the very beginning. Despite all the propaganda and life in the Capitol, Effie is introduced as someone involved with the Games because of the love she has for her sister, as a kind person, as someone who knows Haymitch won’t hurt her.

Despite their social and ideological differences - and all the friction between them - they spend two decades keeping each other company in a horrible environment designed to discourage any kind of bond. They still work together as a team.

Post-Mockingjay, when they have to carry the weight of all their pain, torture, loss, and war, why is it so hard to imagine that they would help each other figure out who they are in a world without the Games? That they would help each other process the pain and learn to live with some peace and hope for the days ahead? That two people who know each other so well would slowly build their slow-burn romance, allowing themselves to love and be loved?

And none of this erases the impact or the feelings Haymitch had for Lenore Dove. It's just different. Simple as that.

He may believe that geese mate for life, but in reality, he hasn’t had the same life in a very long time. And in this new life, it’s Effie who walks beside him.

[perpetuallyexhaustedlibrarian]

Wind Breaker Ch 173, in my opinion, was the best chapter we've had in months. Not to say that previous chapters were subpar in any way -- they were also excellent, but this one is a step above.

This chapter is a showcase of what Wind Breaker is and what it aims to do: its subtle storytelling and emotional themes, its masterclass in writing and storyboarding, the deep grasp of character and motivation.

And again, we get a lot of insight into Sakura's character and backstory here, without him really saying a word.

The chapter starts with a fight between Kiryu's sister Akari and her (bastard) father.

Sakura hears this and immediately thinks of his own caretakers yelling at him.

What I find really interesting about this is that it's the words "All you do is stand there! You can't do anything!!" that lead into the flashback.

It's hard to imagine Sakura just standing there and taking the abuse like Akari is in this scene. From what we know of him, you'd think he'd yell and scream back, fight, or some other violent response. But what if, in the past, he was just like Akari? What if he just stood there and took it, unable to say or do anything?

Back in the present, Sakura stands up, ready to kick ass, and the perspective shifts back to the fight outside for a few pages, where Kiryu intervenes.

And then we smash cut back to Sakura, his friends literally holding him back from interfering (not Suo, though, which is just typical... My exasperation is affectionate here).

This panel took my breath away. It's just so powerful.

Sakura's pure heart won't let him sit by while someone else is being abused. He's about to go right out that door and help Akari. His sense of justice is so strong that he has to be literally held back by others.

The dad backs off, and Kiryu returns to his friends. Though we'd expect that Sakura's thoughts would be with Kiryu, instead his gaze is focused on Akari in the background, standing in quiet defiance.

After the boys leave the Mitsuki house, he thinks of Akari again.

That image of her, glaring after her father, is fixed in Sakura's head. Not Kiryu yelling or crying. Akari, standing strong and resilient.

In the past, was Sakura told to stand there and keep quiet? Told he couldn't do anything? Did he try to laugh things off, like Akari? Was he molded into a person he hated, that laughed off problems, just like Akari? After years of abuse, did he finally snap on his caretakers, and that's why he's on his own?

Sakura sees himself in Akari. He identifies with her, more than he identifies with Kiryu, who is also being abused but pushes back. Sakura knows what it's like to be abused and belittled, made to feel small and helpless, by people who are supposed to take care of him. He and Akari both have endured horrible situations with resilience and endurance.

Akari's expression, the one that Sakura keeps thinking of, says that she will get away some day. Her father can't keep her down forever. She will be free. And Sakura sees that, recognizes it, in her. And sees it mirrored in himself.

All this to say, Wind Breaker is never predictable. It is never satisfied with the easy answer. Its characters, especially Sakura, are real people. Backstory and motivation are laid out organically, with subtlety. This chapter is a perfect example of what this story is.

And I cannot wait to see our boy interact with Akari one-on-one in the next chapter.

[sooohunnie]

Baby Blues

Paring: RE2!Leon S. Kennedy x Fem!reader

summary: God makes an example out of you and now you don't know what to do.

tags: fluff, established relationship, friends with benefits, f/m relationship, drabble, RE2! Leon, reader has commitment issues, comfort

CW!!: mention of unprotected sex, pregnancy, mention of abortion, OOC?

------------------------

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

This cannot be happening.

You look down at the positive pregnancy test in your hands. There's no way.

Your luck seemed to turn in a new direction, good or bad depending on a lot of things…and you couldn’t quite decide which way it fell with this specifically.

You sigh, placing the test back down on the counter.

You wouldn’t call yourself irresponsible, not ever. You were as straight laced as a pair of officer boots down at the precinct.

The one time you let yourself do something risky and this is what pops out.

God really wants to make an example of you huh?

“How am I gonna break this to Leon?”

You can already imagine the poor rookies reaction, he’d probably faint on the spot.

…maybe you should have at least a little faith in him.

This was partly his fault! It takes two to tango.

Even if you were the one who suggested no protection…and told him not to pull out…

He’s the one who obliged your insanity.

You two had been “messing around” for the better half of a year now- It was casual…or so you wanted to keep it. It’s not like you had some sort of deep rooted commitment issues and Leon was too much of a doormat to do anything about it. That’d be ridiculous.

…

You felt bad for even insinuating that.

Deep down you knew he was keeping up this casual relationship because he wanted what you wanted. Even if he did want more. He was sweet like that- he’s so considerate and…

And this is what you give in return.

You can sulk about this later…you had to tell him.

You owe him that much.

—--------

The phone placed next to your ear rings…

How do you break news like this? Guess what? We’re pregnant?

That’d probably work…if you two were together in any way with substance.

“Hello?”

SHIT.

“Heyy Leon.” You say cooley.

“Hi.” He repeats, more warmth in his tone now.

“I was calling to…” You start, not prepared for this one bit, “Well- first I wanna make sure you're not busy..”

“Uh-”

“Cause if this is a bad time you can just hang up on me- It’d be completely fine.”

No it wouldn't??? What are you even saying???

“Uh- no- not at all.” He laughs, “I’m at home- why?”

You take a breath. Why are you nervous? That's probably a dumb question considering the weight of this all.

“So- ahem…” Why is your throat squeezing, “Leon…”

“Woah…what's wrong?” He can immediately tell your tone is off.

“I’m fine-” You start, “I guess I’m just nervous…”

You are resilient- you didn't think something like this would make you shaky…but here you are.

“You can tell me anything- you know this.” He says softly

“I'm pregnant.”

There’s a pregnant pause (lol)

“Where are you right now?” He asks, his voice shaky.

“I’m at home-”

“Do you want me to stay on the phone or can I hang up while I’m driving?” He cuts her off.

“Leon what-”

“Which one??’ He says, “Or- maybe that's too much right now- It wouldn’t be horrible to drive while on the phone right..?” You can hear the roar of his engine in the background.

Click.

Yeah you’re not risking him getting into an accident. Heightening his chance from 99% to 99.99%

—-----------

Not even nine minutes later you hear a knock on your door.

Concerning considering his place is a solid fifteen from yours…

You open it up to see, of course, Leon. He’s shaking.

“Leon-”

You start but are cut off as you're engulfed by a hug.

“I’m gonna be a dad.” He says, his voice full of love. He clears his throat, pulling away to look at you, “Ahem- if that's what you want-”

He seems a bit embarrassed about jumping right into that assumption.

“I haven’t even asked you how you feel..”

You blink, looking up at him with confusion. Why is he so happy? Why hasn’t he ghosted you already? Why doesn’t he hate you for making him put up with your casual relationship.

God why are you tearing up.

“I’m sorry.” you sniff as tears start falling down your cheeks.

“Woah…” he says moving to comfort you, “I guess that's a no on the dad thing?” He jokes.

You laugh at that, wiping your own tears.

“No..well I don’t know.” You say softly, “Look Leon, I’m sorry for dragging you through this- I know you didn’t ask for someone like me to- I don't know..I know you’ve wanted to take this whole thing further and I’ve been scared to- not because I never wanted to…”

You look down at yourself for a moment before looking back up at him, “I guess this is karma for that huh? Trading one commitment for another…massive one.”

Leon looks at you with amused confusion, “What are you on about? Are you apologizing for getting pregnant? Cause that’s a two way street.”

You sigh, “I’m apologizing for well- Holding you at arms length. I…care about you so much. I can tell that you’ve been wanting to take this further…but you never said anything for my sake.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” he says gently, “sure I’ve had my grievances- you don’t know how badly I’ve wanted to call you my girlfriend or brag about you…but you have to realize that I wouldn’t stay unless I felt you were worth it.”

“Leon-”

“You are something to me that I can’t describe…you make me feel happy. I would’ve waited forever if I had to.”

“But you shouldn’t have had to.”

“I know.” He says softly, “But that’s just how I am.”

You sigh moving to hug him tighter.

He holds you just the same. It lasts a moment before pulling away to look at you.

“Now- how about we discuss what matters, hm?” He says, “Figure out what we’re doing with this one right here.” He says before patting your stomach.

You swat his hand gently, causing him to laugh.

[art-from-within]

ER hc: Demigods in Love

(TW its long. Long.)

If they had a big fat crush on you and fell in love with you, they wouldn't say it outright at first but there would be signs

Morgott:

He becomes more catty-chatty. He usually cloaks his feelings of extreme self loathing(leading him to believe he deserves nothing and distance himself from things that bring joy, fear of rejection etc) with a rain of sour quips and old age scoldings, a technique he would definitely utilize all the same(and fail horribly) to suppress new trifling emotions arising within him, feelings he dare not indulge in for his own sake and everyone else's.

But despite his harsh words and taunts, the fact is not missed on you, that he is there. He is there, and for all his talk of finding you so lowly, he bothers to address you and your 'meager flame'

"I see thee little tarnished," he will say "smould'ring with that wretched flame of ambition" he will repeat this often, but the emphasis on 'little' changes with time. It is those little things, those minute slip ups, that itches a part of your brain.

Malenia:

She becomes more stiff around you. She is already taciturn enough, but around you she becomes stiffer than every statue in haligtree combined. But in those rare moments when she does address you, her voice becomes more softer than usual. Sometimes you catch her head nodding towards you gently. Other times you find her standing guard outside your door, though she will refuse to admit it was nothing else but that. Keeping you safe is her love language.

She will also make sure to always have the most fresh med needles stuck in her before she ever steps foot into your vicinity. Anything to make sure you don't get even the slightest WHIFF of her rot...poor valkyrie. She really tries.

Mohg:

He becomes more...clingy. And by clingy I meant he stalks you (a mogh classic).

He isn't audaciously obvious with it, no he is never obvious with anything. But as I said, there are signs. Bushes and trees seem to rustle more than usual. Warm beverages left on your table with no owner in sight, roses blooming during the wrong seasons and WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT??? Somebody who is TOTALLY NOT MOHG just healed your student rune debts?? Ahh! Good heavens!!! Who could have done this??? Definitely not the rich demigod omen who lives 2 broken buildings away that seemingly always knows when you need a heat pad hmmmm

Despite all this though, it seems this amount of clinginess is inversely proportional to the lines of dialogue he will spare you i.e. the harder he falls for you, the more he stalks and the less he talks (tldr of another hc post, that welcome guest speech of his is totally scripted and he can’t function outside said script). His confidence leaves him when he sees someone he cannot risk losing. He also love bombs you, with all intentions meant. Anything material, you have it. Its almost like he can read your mind (he is in your bloodstream).

He functions on the mindset that nothing in this world is selfless, and that love can only be bought and not earned. He 'bought' the love of his sanguine nobles through promise of power...he straight up kidnaps his 'doctors', who now love him(they are all mad with bloodlust). The albinaurics are there (for miquella). He is truly convinced that he cannot be loved without reason, so he does all this extra crap to cook up said reasons. Local omen has yet to discover consent out of the shunning grounds. Maybe u can change him 👍or make him worse.

Godwyn:

He gives you golden privileges….Godwyn wouldn’t outright confess his love for you on first sight, but I imagine he would be the SECOND (Rykard being first) most forthright man in this sea of bashful tsundere personages. Aside from his flirtiness increasing by 10 folds, He will let you ride Fortisaxx. Must I even elaborate further? There are noble men in Leyndell who would sell their cock and balls for that opportunity, but he straight up goes “hey you wanna ride my dragon” wink. Fortisaxx is best wingman, drops hints to help his brother/friend/(lover?😏) out. Considering he has a whole lineage, and i really doubt the omen twins received any action in the lore, he is the most experienced when it comes to love, and he has learned the best way to deal with it is just be chill.

Bonus points if you catch him drunk, the comedy you would play witness to would be legendary.

Godrick:

He will let you touch him. …

Pre grafted Godrick:

would be a total tsundere straight up. He has 0 confidence in himself, and his old and wrinkly ass has only known rejection by that point to not have any qualms about confessing. Throw in an odd sense of aristocratic pride into the mix and you have got a noble who looks and acts like he is competing his way into a guillotine. He is quite rude, and if he is got a single talent up his sleeve, it is without a doubt his ability to drive anyone into a frenzy(no three fingers needed) with his snarky quips alone. He is physically not up there, but by words alone he could burn bridges (and he has). Perhaps he gets this talent from his great great great great great great great great great grand uncle who, rumors say, also rules over Leyndell! He is a small crooked paranoid little freekle frackle that clings onto what we would call Ancien régime mindset and lifestyle

Given this context, the first sign that something is awry is that he lets you be near his viscinty. He is still snarky, with all the thou-s and thee-s sprinkled in. But he lets you near him. Hmm that’s odd. You thought Ettiquette 6600038 stated no non royal was allowed to walk beside him-OH and he is staring right into your soul. Thats also weird. You thought he hated the commonfolk? Did he just hold your hand? Granted he was terrified by the lightening, but still…hm… and he just tried cooking for the first time?? Ended terribly he burnt the kitchen down. He did all that for himself he says…you hear a “yea right” from a very brave soldier of godrick, never to be seen again. He gives you a suspiciously customized hankerchief, embroidery of (insert your fav flower here) when you catch a cold. Never asks for it back.

Post grafted Godrick is mostly the same, but more crazy with a 10% increase in confidence. For one, its been 24 hours and he has yet to tear you apart from limb to limb which is something. “Unfit for grafting” he says. yea right.

...

He also shows you his gore Godfrey goon shrine, your quality of life depends on the tone of your laugh. He lets you bathe him (wow you touched him…or some dude’s entire torso which he stole.) and Gostoc doesn’t fuck with you like he does with others. Good. Good. He trusts you enough to complain abt some tantalizing trespasser omen loitering infront of his castle named ‘Margit’. Which sounds awful lot like Morgott. He hasn’t clicked the dots and he most likely never will.

Radahn:

He lets you ride Leonard.

Radahn is the type of guy who is beyond friendly with anyone, so when he does something which would so obviously be labelled affectionate coming from others, it is generally dismissed as an act of friendship. He remembers your birthday and holds a surprise party which is VERY COOL, but he also hosts birthday parties for everyone else….which is also cool… He suffers through the friendzone for a while with grace.

But when he offers you a ride on his dear Leonard, that darling steed of his that he treats like his heir apparent? Yup, that very horse, is when the gears in your mind unclog. His highness Prince Leonard has always been a boundary none dare cross, but here he is granting you a safe passage to jump right through. He lifts you up with ease, and places you on the saddle. And when you smile, he smiles even wider. Signs eventually bubble up to the surface. He laughs more often around you, completely at ease. When drunk he regails you with tales of bygone heroes and his own aspirations to be one. Reply with “but you already are one” and you will catch him lag for 5 seconds.

He keeps you close by during expeditions, and even during social gatherings. He uses his gravity magic to help you/your siblings indulge in some 0 gravity fun. And during less crowded evenings, he arranges fun getaways with friends, except its just you two this time...and here on out. Oddly enough though, the closer he gets to you the more you find yourself isolated at your job etc. You start finding your posts more empty. Which is odd since you did remember there were 2 other people assigned at this pla- AND its general Radahn with 2 roasted exalted flesh in hand! Wonderful.

One can only speculate how he uses his powers as head general...

Bonus point if you like cats. He will bring his cats for a wash to your house (another excuse to see you)

Ranni:

She spills tea.

This one is easy since we have in game canon content as reference. At first she is secretive. She introduces herself as "renna", and maintains a professional distance. But as time passes and she comes to warm up to you, that distance is chipped away by her own doing. She confesses to her many well hidden secrets, dark secrets like how she played a hand in the night of black knives or her more lesser secrets like stealing her mom's books, giving young Radahn a bobcut in his sleep, mischiefs with Rykard etc. Her trust in you, that you will keep her word between you two, is the sign. Anytime the topic steers towards anything remotely romantic though, she transforms into a bashful tsundere

"Noooo don't open that box from that chamber in this location you don't want to marry me noooo" (gives you the key to that box). Also "take not the ring from this place, the solitude beyond the night is better mine alone." Is code word for "please marry me I am very lonely".

Rykard:

ОНОНОНО

Pre Snake Rykard:

He shows you his sex dungeon

Yea. The most forthright admirer award goes to! PRAETOR RYKARD! Rykard seems like the type of guy who has this very thick professional exterior, that betrays his true perverse nature. You sit down with him and think

"wow, what a well rounded individual! Yes he is rough around the edges, but he dresses nice, he speaks well, he looks lordly enough albeit dark circles, he is good with machines (he doesn’t tell you that he names them 'abductor virgins' 💀) hmm surely he isn't some perverted freak with dungeons and torture rooms in his house"

and then he offers you a tour of his house and peels off his skin like a snake fresh out of hibernation and every fibre of your being tells you to run as fast as u can. Think Tywin Lannister but it's obvious somebody's been slipping drops of mercury into his coffee. His stern facade hides a lecherous mind

It would go something like this. He is wearing his tywin lannister inspired drip, while riding his very high horse. He bothers to look down from his very high horse at which point he sees you. Double take. He approaches you with the confidence of an absolute slut, but its coated with enough regal varnish to make them barely acceptable in public. Something like "Good evening Fair lady/good sir, I see thou art unchaperoned this low in the evening. May we escort you somewhere safe?". You don't really understand what he is getting at first, until he offers to give you a tour of his beautiful rich and lavish manor. And like, he isn't lying. It's beautiful. It's rich. It's lavish. On top of a fucking volcano? It’s always the fucked up bitches with tastes like look at Mohg?! 10/10 (I had rank him second to Mohg in dripmaxxing). But the deeper you venture into his abode, the crazier the tour becomes. And then you watch this man peel his layers of civility strata by strata, with each new chamber easing him into his true self until ultimately what is left is a crazed man with a crazed look pointing at a literal dungeon with very suggestive toys. Tanith is there.

The pros though is that he is a good lover, and father. Stressing on Father, because you are gonna make him one. (Magic world if you are a male reader. Anything is possible)

Post Snake Rykard:

Ooooohhh togethhhaaaaaa we prossspeeerrr untuu eterniteeeeeeeee become fameeelee?

( he is giving you a choice which is a show of love. Choose your next words very carefully)

Godfrey:

He lets you dress his scars.

He recognizes that familiar feeling of love, and his age and experience has taught him that fighting it will be more painful, so he just lets it be instead. Despite his bloodlust and barbarism, which resurfaces here and there, he is surprisingly courteous in casual settings. Being married to a goddess you find out, is a lonely existence. Is there any love between the two? Questions that will storm your mind as you do good on the honor of dressing his wounds. You can feel the eyes of his golden beast watching over you. Such an act had intimate undertones back in his homeland. Do you understand?

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Miquella:

He doesn't 'slip' up any 'signs' no he LITERALLY stabs you with it(out of desperation), but you are still oblivious because he looks like your 8 yrs old baby cousin with a bug addiction(Those wings are real y/n)!He tries to appear his real age by snatching every opportunity provided to show the vastness of his mind and wisdom, but ends up giving young Sheldon vibes. He tells you straight to your face that he loves you like "no other", but he just gets swaddled in your lap like a baby. Not enjoying this experience.

Messmer: Don't know anything about him to write 3 paras (for obv) but the vibes he is giving right now is that he is less pookie bear than imagined, and impaling isn't just a hobby but his way of life. Going off of the trailer, I had say if he had a crush on you, he would be as straight forward as Godwyn, but with a more sinister bent. He would let you play with his snakes...maybe burn you deep to leave his mark...?

[incorrectfatui]

Some random headcanons because I'm bored and I should really post more often.

Pierro: genuinely does not like the vast majority of the other Harbingers. He tries his best to get along with them but dear god half of them cannot shut the fuck up to save their life

Capitano: Likes hot cocoa and puts like a weird amount of effort into making them. Like you know those extremely long tiktok recepies for (Insert country name)-hot cocoa that take hours but taste the same as regular hot cocoa? Yeah, Capitano has made all of them at some point and he swears theres a difference

Dottore: addicted to sugar. Addicted to a lot of things, actually. Younger segments get sugar rush. Youngest segment is an ipad-kid. Gets distracted extremely easily. I have too many headcanons about this guy.

Columbina: can sleep ANYWHERE. Girl goes skydiving and sleeps in the sky. Rollercoaster? You mean a moving bed?

Arlecchino: bad at math no i wont explain myself. Tried making candy herself once and it went horribly wrong.

Clervie: scared of clowns. terrified even.

Crucabena: Likes playing rhythm games. Her children are reenacting the hungergames and she's in the background just playing pjsk or osu or smth. Also collects Pokemon cards, loves them more than her children. Very good at masking, but has autism (like every other harbinger). Nr. 1 enabler for the other Harbingers, but especially Dottore. Used to bite people as a child. Was, in general, the most feral child you can imagine. Dottore calls her Crucy and she despises it.

Pulcinella: hates hot temperatures. Cannot stand anything above 15° Celsius

Scaramouche: sometimes forgets that time is in fact passing. It's a result of his time in the Abyss, but also connected to his immortality. Speaking of which, he has no idea how old he actually is, he just knows he was created after the cataclysm.

Sandrone: goes nonverbal when overwhelmed. Also has a one-sided rivalry going with Dottore.

Signora: i have so many german-aunt headcanons about her - positives of having characters inspired by your culture i guess. Lots of my headcankns abt her are inspired by my own aunts lol. Can do tricks with a bottle of wine. Used to have a lil space where she raised chicken and other animals back in Mondstadt, but didn't keep them after Rostams death

Pantalone: weird relationship with dottore also translates into weird relationship with Scaramouche. Both of them have seen each other in..lets say compromising positions. They have a pact to never ever speak of it. Also very jealous of Scaramouche and Crucabena (despite the latter being dead) due to their relationships with Dottore. Extremely posessive.

Childe: has once thrown a snowball at Pierro. Was very lucky that no one figured out it was him. Somewhat scared of Dottore. No one ever told him which Harbinger joined when, so he doesnt know how old anyone is (minus Arlecchino)

[rangerpippin]

the Mark S. / Mark Scout arguing scene cannot come SOON enough

can you imagine yelling into the camera. do you even know what you put me through. you left me in a hellish prison and forgot all about me. I'm a person. I'm a person. I'm a person. let me live my life even though we can't both do it at the same time.

can you imagine yelling into the camera, into yourself, do you even know what I've been through. you're the only one who can rescue the person who is the other half of my heart. I love her. I love her. I love her. I'll never be okay again as long as I live until she is safe. lead eurydice out of hades even though you'll never ever ever be able to look back at her even once she's out. even though it means leaving you there. please.

what right does mark scout have to ask this of mark s?

to give up his love for helly r and his agency and in some ways his very life just to get gemma out so that reintegrated mark can live the life with her that only mark scout wants and longs for

but on the other hand. on the other hand

can you imagine being mark scout. you lose this person who is the other half of you. who you love more than life. and it breaks you so horribly that you do this thing. the only way you feel like you can go on is if the only part of you not squandering his hours as quickly as possible in numbness and drink and migraines and sleep has forgotten all about her in order to survive. the only part of you that will ever be okay again is the part that will never really be you again. and what if then you learned that she's alive, she's alive, you haven't lost her, you can be alive again, but the only one who can save her is the part of you that you cut off to save him from being choked to death on the grief. what if you begged him to save her. but because you shielded him from the grief that was the vengeful ghost of your love for her, he cannot love her now. what if you begged him to love her. and what if he said no.

mark scout just wants back the beautiful, love-filled, joy-filled life that lumon stole from him. mark s just wants to keep the life that he's clawed together from the nothing that he was given.

it's so impossible a situation because they both need 100% of the pie and there's only enough for one of them to get what they need

[st6rly]

❛ in the soft. ❜

synopsis : 　 a demon and an archbishop; a mercenary and a merchant. two sides of the same coin and yet luocha's never felt further away. 　 ╱ 　 word count : 　 0.6k

characters : 　 luocha x gn!reader

categories : 　 a mix of fluff & angst if you squint. drabble. mini character analysis style fic.

warnings : 　not proofread. the setting is not canon compliant. religious aspects. mentions of death. he thinks of killing you for a hot minute </3

tags : 　 @tragedy-of-commons. @whatisnurotypical + for @luvether as an apology for mischaracterizing her guy so horribly this entire time during ebg <33

The fire is too warm. Light dances along the ground with each crackle of splintering wood as shadows scramble away from the source. Here, the trees are cruel. Gnarled branches creep along the dark sky, hands outreached in prayer and pleas, blocking out what little light is given by the half-moon. In the centre, sitting weary faced and droopy-eyed, Luocha tightens his grip around the pendant in his gloved hand. The metal sears his palm through the thin fabric, pressing hot indents into the meaty flesh. 

“Aren’t you tired?” 

Watercolour green eyes clash with yours, locks of blonde falling soft and gentle on his face as his head snaps up from its bowed position. On the other side of the fire, cloak acting as a blanket, you sit there far too relaxed. A curl of distaste taints his lips. They drop back neutral, too quick for you to catch in the dark. 

“Aren’t you?” he responds, tone tight, almost mocking with a single eyebrow raised. I’m losing it, he thinks. The metal burns a tad bit hotter. 

“Who wouldn’t be?” You shrug. Scarboard set to the side, the hilt is worn and leather peeling. He watches you poke at the embers, takes note of the slump in your shoulders and the fatigued expression you try to hide. Luocha sighs. 

“Then rest,” he says, blunt—perhaps even callous, “I will keep watch.” 

You pause, head tilted as if thinking, before you chuckle, “Nah. Don’t trust you enough for that, Merchant.” 

He stiffens. Weeks of this and yet Luocha hasn’t adjusted to the quips and sharp words you spit back, too used to the wordless responses of a cold body. Mad, isn’t he, for talking to someone so far out of reach. He rests a hand on the coffin.

“Maybe you should, Merc,” he scoffs, just as bitterly. Perhaps the journey has taken a greater toll on him than he thought. “Don’t you want your pay? Or are you backing out of our deal?” 

He knows who you are—what you are. Though at first glance you play the part, there is no fooling the fool. The curve of your lips, the unnatural shine of your eyes, the Purity Palace warned him of those who wear the faces of humans, to deny forgiveness to those who don’t wish to seek it. You smile. Luocha lingers on your lips, the skin stretched taunt to the teeth. 

“It’s not really my loss, is it?” It’s rhetorical. You rest your hands in the dirt behind you, palms pressed as if seeking pardon. “You need the ‘protection,’ not me. If you died tomorrow, would I care? I’d rob you blind.” 

You look over at the silent body. “Maybe even crack open that casket while I’m at it.” 

“You wouldn’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because you aren’t that type of person.” He says it so matter-of-factly, he almost falls for it too. The truth is, you are that kind of person. “You too can grieve and feel, no matter how much you wish to deny it.” 

It falls silent. 

Luocha doesn’t know why he deludes himself into believing you can be saved. Your redemption isn’t up to him regardless of how he may feel. It would be so easy. He eyes the graceful lines of your neck, imagines his pure hands sinking into the soft muscles and tendons. He wonders if you bleed the same. 

“Maybe you’re right,” you mutter, head pivoting away from his glare. 

“Forgive me,” he whispers. To himself, to you, to the aeon that cannot watch from above.

© ST6RLY ﹕ all rights reserved. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, use for asmr role-play, feed into ai, or claim any of my writing as yours.

[bisexualbrainrots]

for my 911 what if, I once mentioned to @a-mel0n how I'd like for bucktommy's first kiss + time to happen in 3x09 because it just fitted with the theme of the episode (fallout) so I came up with this (long) snippet of their scenes from the ep (1/4). i also wrote this while sleepy so sorry if there are any inconsistencies <3

they're in tommy's place btw!

also, with some help I decided to keep the abby thing, but here it's way juicier! also yeah I'd like to tell y'all about andy sometime, he's the best.

The fridge made that sound again as it was opened, two cold beers being pulled out of it “And I’m sitting there thinking to myself “I have to run, I cannot be a second more with this guy”, that’s why I texted you, actually” 

Buck nods as Tommy gives him one of the bottles, open by the time it reaches his hands “Oh so I was just the distraction then” he smirks at the older, tilting his head, giving the beer a sip as the bottle reaches his lips and Tommy rolls his eyes, taking a sip too.

“Pretty much” he said deadpan as he leaned against the refrigerator.

His date had been horrible, and Tommy was ready to curse at one of his basketball buddies who suggested a blind date. The man wasn’t ugly by any chance, even making Tommy feel weak in his knees when he saw him, but it was his personality that made him want to run towards a cliff. The guy was negativity incarnate, complaining about anything and everything: the place was too quiet, the music wasn’t that great, the waiters were too slow, and the food wasn’t so good. But the last straw was something Tommy could never accept on anyone.

“He said he hates sweets Evan, I mean, What the hell?” Tommy moved towards the living room with Buck following him behind.

“To be fair, I don’t think there’s anyone who has the same sweet tooth as you, Tommy” Buck chuckled when the older shot him one of his looks, and shook his head as they sat on the couch.

“And it’s their loss then” he drank another sip of his beer, resting his head on the cushions “Hating sweets… What else does he hate? Rainbows? Fun?” he nudged Buck's shoulder when he heard the, very loud, laugh come out of his lips “Don’t laugh at me Evan!”

“I… I'm sorry” he had to take deep breaths to calm himself down “But you have to admit it's kind of funny that you're so worked up about a guy not liking sweets, I don't even eat them so often”

Tommy leaned in closer to Buck “That’s just because you try to get on ketosis every year, Don't forget I've seen you on cheat days too!” A second of silence happened before the two men were laughing, shoulders shaking as they tried to compose themselves again “Okay, okay… maybe I'm thinking too much about it, but it's just that I wanted my first time back in the dating scene to feel… special? I guess? I just… I wanted something good, not a date from hell” he sighed, taking another sip.

Buck tilted his head, a comforting smile on his lips “Was the guy at least cute?”

Tommy left the bottle on the coffee table to cover his face with hands and groaned as he sank his body into the couch “He was, and so hot too, which I don't know if it makes it worse that he was such a… pessimist, if I want to be nice” 

Buck whistled “Jeez, I don't want to imagine what you would call him if you weren't nice” he snickered when Tommy's fingers revealed his, very, annoyed eyes “But I get it, after Abby…” he stiffened, not knowing if it was appropriate to continue.

They hadn't really talked about Abby yet, besides that one time before Buck moved out of her apartment, and the younger didn’t know how to approach the subject either, not wanting to make Tommy uncomfortable.

The older gave him a sympathetic look, gesturing at him to continue “It’s okay, we can talk about her”

Buck took a breath, leaving his bottle on the table before speaking “After her I didn’t feel ready either, and it didn’t get any better when I realised I wasn’t the same guy I was before, like… I didn’t want to have something meaningless just to fill a void” he looked down when talking, avoiding the older’s gaze as he fidgeted with his fingers, “I’d say she was… transformative, in a way” he exhaled deeply, furrowing his brows “If I’m honest, a part me feels like I wasted so much time wishing for her to come back, and I regret it, you… You shouldn’t regret this Tommy, a bad date it’s better than stalling” 

Tommy held his shoulder for a while, squeezing a little to give him comfort “Hey, you’re better now Evan, and I could see back then how you weren’t ready to move on so, I don’t think you stalled, not really and… Thank you, for everything”

Buck lifted his head, a question in his face as he looked at the older “Tommy I… What do you mean “everything”?”

Tommy gave him a soft smile, shifting his body and resting his head on the heel of his hand “You helped me when Andy…” he took a deep breath, looking up for a few seconds before turning his gaze back to Buck “When he left, and you were the only to actually ask me how I was doing when nobody wanted to”

Buck frowned “They wanted to, Tommy, it’s just… they thought it was best for you to come to them when you were ready, Chimney almost caved once too” it was his turn to squeeze the other’s shoulder now, stroking the fabric “The only difference between them and me is that I don’t care that I get into everyone’s business” both men chuckled, the air feeling much lighter.

“Okay, but still, thank you for that I… I really needed someone then and I’m glad it was you, even though at the time it didn’t feel like it”

“Oh I know it, I had to fight the words out of you Kinard” he grinned at the older, who once again rolled his eyes at Buck, pushing his shoulder lightly. He looked at him for a while, a question popping into his mind suddenly, “Hey, can I ask you something unrelated?”

“Yeah?”

“Were you ever uncomfortable with me before I dated Abby?”

Tommy was stunned, not expecting the question, but also not understanding the point Buck was trying to make, or insinuating “Uhm, what do you mean Evan?”

Buck exhaled looking away, knowing the explanation could make it worse “I mean… I know I was a bit of a player before, new girl every night kind of guy and I fear… that it was one of the reasons you hated me so much” he brought his left leg closer to his chest, caressing the knee to soothe himself.

“Evan… I, I never hated you, not really” Tommy moved his body closer, chasing Buck’s gaze to make sure they were eye to eye “I mean, yeah, you were stupid and reckless and I really didn’t like it when you called me Thomas but real hate? I couldn’t really, and about the sleeping around thing…” he looked down for a few seconds before turning his gaze back on Buck, an embarrassed smile accompanying it “I can’t really judge when I used to do the same”

The younger’s eyes were wide open “W-what? How?” 

“Well, there’s something called dating apps, where you—”

“I know what a dating app is Tommy, I just” he exhaled through his nose, a nervous laugh coming out of his mouth “I never thought of you as the type to hookup, not that you couldn’t, I mean… but I just, you seem like such a romantic too”

And he was. Everything about Tommy screamed hopeless romantic.

“Who says you can’t be both?” he let out a short laugh, looking at Buck softly “I’ve always been in love with love I guess, it’s just, after Abby I turned to sex as a sort of self-destructive behavior” Tommy didn’t like to think about that time of his life anymore, the painful realization being too much for him sometimes “I slept with a lot of guys and I mean, a lot, but it never made me feel good or like I deserved to have anything good, it was more like a reminder that I, that I wasn’t allowed to be happy after what I did to her—” whatever he was gonna say next was stopped by the feel of two arms wrapping themselves around him “Evan?”

“I… I’m sorry” the words came like a whisper in his ear, which would make Tommy shiver in any other context but here they were overwhelming him.

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t… You never…”

“I’m sorry you felt that way, Tommy… I know I was a pain in the ass then, and I probably still am” he grinned against the skin of the older’s neck “But you deserve love, you may have hurt people but you are good, Tommy” Buck moved his head back, looking at Tommy deep in the eyes “You are a good person, even if you don’t believe it sometimes”

Tommy wanted to cry, his eyes glistening but not daring to go beyond that. For so long he hated himself so much, and let himself be used to prove that point. One-night stands that made him feel empty, bathroom and alleyway hookups that kept the momentum going, shame overpowering his body. Opening himself to love wasn’t easy, not even with a guy as good as Andy was, but he didn’t want to live in a lie anymore, he didn’t want to let hate burn him from the inside out and consume him.

Tommy gripped Buck’s back, not wanting to let him go just yet “Sometimes I think it’s funny, that my own self-hatred was projected onto many of my relationships, ours included”

Buck arched an eyebrow, intrigued “What do you mean?”

Tommy’s hands left the younger’s back almost as an instinct, feeling a heat reach his cheeks as he pulled away, embarrassment crossing his face “I… okay, don’t laugh please” when Buck reassured him he wasn’t going to he took a deep breath and leaned to take a sip of his beer, pretending it would give him courage “Alright, I… when we met I actually thought you were pretty cute, like I could’ve asked you out kind of cute”

Buck heard the record scratch in his brain, there was nothing else but those words.

‘I thought you were pretty cute’

“And that lasted exactly five seconds until you called me by my name” Tommy hid his face on the back pillows, groaning as his words were muffled by them “I can’t believe I just told you that”

“Tommy, you… you aren’t playing with me, right?” the older looked up, confused at the hitch in Buck’s voice. He looked different, something in him had changed in the way he was looking at Tommy, the older could swear he was seeing a glimmer in his eyes, but shook his head internally, thinking it must be the alcohol.

“No, why would I?”

Buck’s body shifted, his side resting on the back pillows as he leaned closer to Tommy, without invading his space “Okay, this may be funny too but… I sort of got jealous when you told us about Andy”

Tommy tensed up, a million questions popping on his mind as he locked eyes with Buck “Wait, jealous? Why?”

Buck tilted his head, a shy smile appearing on his lips “I… I started to feel like that when you probably started seeing him, y-you changed the way you behaved around me, almost as if… I wasn’t worthy of your time anymore” he remembered how it felt, that strange sensation in his chest the first time Tommy stopped fighting him back, making a passing comment instead “Now I know that’s a stupid way of thinking of course, but, I didn’t realise how much I secretly liked getting your attention”

Tommy looked at him wide-eyed, a thought— a desire crossing his mind “My attention?”

“Yeah I guess so” he chuckled, a soft look in his eyes and a warm grin settling in “I… I was so envious of how easy it was for Andy to get your atten—” suddenly all thoughts were replaced with static when he felt the older’s fingers grab his chin and pull him in.

Tommy was kissing him.

Tommy Kinard was kissing him, on the lips. And Buck was returning it.

It was so gentle and sweet, warmth flowing through their bodies as the few seconds the kiss lasted stretched until it felt like hours, hours none of them wanted to end. Tommy’s hands were in different places, one resting on the younger’s chest while the other landed safely on one of the thighs, simply laying there. Buck’s hands were another story, not knowing where to put them, they gravitate around Tommy’s shoulders tentatively, never landing them anywhere before the kiss broke.

Buck opened his eyes first, looking at Tommy like he was from another planet, and with that a light-switch turned on his brain, a realization with it.

When Tommy’s eyes opened he saw a vision: a pair of glassy blue eyes looking back at him, pink lips agape, and a blush across the cheeks he desperately wanted to kiss now.

“Like that?” his mouth was faster than his head, letting him say things unfiltered.

“Yeah… yeah, that works” Buck was dumbfounded, one phrase crowding everything inside his brain: kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.

Tommy gave him one of his scrunchy smiles, the ones Buck had only seen directed at the older’s ex, and he felt good about it. He felt like he was the object of Tommy’s attention, and that was making him feel giddy inside, yearning to keep that going for as long as the older would want to. Buck got closer, their chest almost brushing the other’s.

“So that was okay?” the older asked, and Buck just wanted to jump him and join their lips again, but he held back even though his skin was itching with want.

“Tommy that was… better than okay, I…” Buck’s brain was officially scrambled, trying so hard to make neural connections and actually work to get the words out “I want to— I need to… God, I can’t think straight” he chuckled, leaning his head on Tommy’s shoulder, who proceeded to sink his fingers into his hair, playing with it. Buck was actually in heaven.

“Metaphorically or literally?” he let out a small laugh when Buck admitted to both, and let him lean back to look into each other’s eyes, Tommy’s hand traveling to cup the younger’s face “Hey”

“Hey”

Tommy nudged their noses together, enjoying the moment without getting to kissing just yet. There was a tenderness in the way he was treating Buck that he had never once tried on him before, and it was giving them whiplash. All the time disliking each other didn’t matter, not when Tommy had just changed Buck’s entire life.

“Tommy…” the neediness in Buck’s voice left the older feeling like all the air was out of his lungs, not knowing how to breathe properly.

“Yes, Evan?” The hitch in Tommy’s voice was making the younger feel like his skin was on fire, desperately wanting the other to put it off.

Buck gave him a peck, and then another, and another one as they leaned on the cushions, Tommy’s head resting on the armrest. Buck deepened the kiss, the feeling of Tommy’s wet tongue driving him to the edge in a matter of seconds, nothing else existing. The younger cupped the older’s face with his hands as the kiss continued, looking more like a makeout session at this point. He bit the other’s lower lip, getting a soft moan out of Tommy.

“I need… I need… more, Tommy, I want more” he said between kisses, and sighed against the older man's mouth when he felt his fingers digging inside his shirt, settling on his waist.

“I want that too, but… Are you sure Evan?” Tommy had to ask, even though he just wanted to have Buck all to himself and touch every inch of his body, a heat settling in his belly.

Buck nodded, a playful smile on his face “I’m sure, I want, I only want you now Tommy” and that did it for him, next thing he knew Buck dived back in, their tongues fighting as the younger started to grind against him, sighing with content.

If there was anything like Heaven, Tommy knew he must be in some version of it. And he was loving it.

[erwinsvow]

same nonnie who said she loved teh angst of them seeing each other i just read ur hashtags and omg?!!!? i love it i usually love love angst but i love them being together too much to want this pairing apart but i think it would be so good… imagine her even saying she doesn’t want kids if it’ll worry him😭😭😭 like she just wants him so badly to understand how much she loves him

i really need to study and i gave myself chest pains by thinking more about that and like as someone who cannot handle angst without a happy ending i will try to give us the best of both worlds. night shift reader would 10000% plead with jack to not break up, feels so stupid begging him because she never thought she would have to, when everything in their relationship is like a fairy tale because they have so much mutual understanding. they just have always understood each other so well, from their first shift together, the first time they really got to know each other.

six months in is that comfortable spot where everyone makes jokes about your wedding and you go home together every night. you know in another six months you'll be moving in together and talking more about the future than you already have. so when jack has this whole crisis about your age (something set it off, i don't know what exactly yet. the comment from the waiter is one thing. it would take more, maybe he saw a patient come in with a young wife and they're bickering and fighting and he sees something he doesn't want to in their relationship.)

night shift reader would just be so sad. pleading that she doesn't care about kids if she can't raise them with jack. that maybe they can foster and adopt if it's really about that—though you've been dizzy with the idea of carrying jack's babies and being pregnant and having him dote on you more than he already does. you put aside the baby names you've been saving your whole life, the nursery you want to decorate, you'd get rid of it all if it meant keeping the life you want with jack from disappearing.

and he knows you!!!! he knows you want all of that! he refuses to take it from you. tells you that you need someone closer to your age who can give you all of that. he thinks this relationship was meant to happen because it's the happiest he's been in as long as he can remember, and then he thinks he's doing you a favor by breaking it off so you can have the sort of life you've always wanted. winter into spring into summer. you go back to the day shift, anxious at 7am and 7pm with the idea of seeing jack again. you try to talk to him but he says he's not gonna change his mind. you ask him if he ever loved you and he says of course i did, sweetheart. it's because i love you that i had to do this.

the worst part is while you're horribly depressed like this, jack would be justifying it and thinking that you'll get over him soon and get a new boyfriend and be fine. hears from robby and dana how sad you are and how different you seem and how you plunge yourself into work to avoid going home. there are no dates, no boyfriends. just you and your job and using all the skills jack taught you.

idk how they'd get back together. maybe one day you go to the roof after a bad loss and robby tells jack he saw you head up and that he's worried about you. you think no one can find you up there but then jack shows up and you'll be damned if you don't feel the enormity of his absence all over again. or maybe one day there is a date, a surgeon upstairs who has always flirted with you but you never paid any attention since you were smitten with jack since the minute you met him. hears about it from dana, who tells him he made a mistake until his ears bleed. you have a shitty date and jack has a shitty day and you both end up taking a walk through your favorite section of the park where you bump into each other. idk. maybe something like that.

[baphometsss]

i had a galaxy brain moment where i realised that by keeping solas subservient to her in the war as an advisor mythal likely thought (or convinced herself) that she was protecting him from being twisted from his purpose. bc as long as he gives wisdom he's fulfilling his purpose, right??

but obviously she didn't factor in that declaring herself a god along with the other evanuris and doing all the horrible shit she did to the elves e.g: drawing them from the fade, keeping them as slaves, binding them to her will, binding a dragon to her will to preserve her immortality, etc etc, she was essentially twisting him from his purpose anyway bc she was going against the advice he was giving her. and that's on top of the fact that she bade him serve in a war where he would kill and genocide the titans which like. obviously that was gonna corrupt him

then she finally does listen to him and ends up dying bc of it, bc by that point her hubris was so great that she thought she was more powerful than the rest of the evanuris combined. then she spends the rest of her existence as a fragment in the crossroads hating him for going against her in the first place like ??

gurl what the fuck were you expecting really

the problem is that by the time of her death she's a lot more demon than spirit. (and yes i know the delineation isn't that straightforward, but i digress.) demons are clearly not that intelligent and they're even referred to as 'dolts' by the spirit of command in crestwood. solas says that demons are not intelligent enough to change their strategy and so the best method of defeating them is to survive the first few minutes of the fight

it's also telling that mythal wanted to leave the fade when all the lore up to this game tells us that spirits who want to leave the fade are usually demons. (this is largely circle mage talk but i think it's pretty accurate to everything else we've been shown.) ofc we don't get a full explanation as to why mythal wanted to leave, but in the memory of manifestation, mythal talks about how they're the best of both worlds when they manifest. so whatever her full reasoning was, we have to assume that she was dissatisfied enough with her life as a spirit of benevolence that she was willing to take a very big risk by building a body out of lyrium to leave the fade.

it's also... really crazy that she's remembered as the all-mother, that she had this very loving side and preserved at least some of her benevolence. and i do think that at one point she was kind and loving to her people--this is the side of her that solas, abelas, felassan and all her followers loved, whom solas befriended in the fade. but in the end, it mostly boiled down to her being protective over what she deemed to be hers. as she got twisted, she went from benevolence to retribution; her loving nature became a demand to first prove that you are 'worthy' followed by the unleashing of her wrath against anyone who defied that judgement by attacking what she saw as being 'hers' (the worthy). to attack someone she has judged to be worthy is to question her judgement, and as her crossroads fragment shows, she cannot and will not tolerate being wrong or having her judgement questioned.

what i'm saying is that dragon mythal is like one huge allegory for narcissistic rage lol

and i'm not trying to say that this is all she is. she's way too complex to boil down to just one of her manifestations. she is, in effect, a system of personalities at this point, as a lot of spirits and ancient elves were. they were highly emotional beings who, unlike modern elves, had a hard time experiencing more than one emotion at a time. they got tangled up in trying to navigate such an unpredictable emotional landscape when they were used to things being comparatively simple

yeah i just. i guess all the elves had the solas quality where they could be incredibly cunning and smart but still trip up and pull some of the dumbest shit imaginable

[mirameana]

yep, still me, still hung up on the timebomb tragedy, especially Ekko's part of it.

they are both shattered by what happened in their lives, both incredibly hurt, but, as I see it...

just imagine it went like this:

where Jinx thinks she decides to become Jinx, embody that insane, dangerous, devil-may-care explosive persona - all of it just to try and keep herself from breaking completely; just to try and give back to Silco who she saw as a father, as someone who didn't get scared by her pain, rage and voices (all the while not being a particularly good influence on her), just to not be Powder, the weak one, the outcast one, the clingy one -

to finally own and channel the jinx she came to see herself as -

Jinx got to swim in all the darkness she had within herself, drown in it, and flood the Lanes with it, free, destructive, and openly poisonous.

Jinx. The insane one. The killer one. The Loose Cannon.

- and Ekko never allowed himself to do that. he choked on his pain, swallowed it, allowed it to seep into his very bones. endured. built. provided for his community. resisted, repressed, redirected all the evil he knew in himself.

he couldn't afford to break. no. too much to lose, nothing to lose, no one to really talk to about what is eating him alive.

because how do you talk about missing your childhood friend-turned maniac... and actually missing the maniac that wore the face of Powder? who do you talk to?

how can you explain, even to yourself, that the people around you are not enough and you are longing for a connection long severed?

how can you say to your community that relies on you that you are actually a horrible hypocritical person who hates everything and sometimes everyone? who has to spend hours reminding himself that Powder is gone and Jinx is a monster and needs to be dealt with?

who enjoys fighting her? (it is exhilarating and freeing, and being in her orbit makes it okay for him to be a little insane and cruel, too - no one will notice,

Jinx outshines everyone).

Ekko knows it about himself, and hates it about himself, and has to be strong, to atone for the treacherous thoughts of missing Jinx, and not Powder, and pay for it with even more work.

say nothing, show nothing,

they all rely on you, you cannot let them down.

you cannot let them know how corrupted you are,

Boy Saviour.

[absolutelynotsanebaby]

God I’ve been thinking about Lisa’s (oc) relationship to Zane and Pixal in my villain au so hard lately.

The thing is that neither Pixal nor Zane were at all in a good place to be suddenly shucked with a 14 year old kid. Zane’s still reeling from his sudden freedom, unable to figure out what he’s at all meant to do. He’s empty, and his mind feels empty, and he knows ‘he’s’ done horrible things and he needs to figure it out but he can’t. He’s frozen (pun intended). He doesn’t feel like a person, and he acts like he isn’t, having shut down every emotion he could feel. Pixal is deeply angry and repressing that so intensely. She ‘can’t’ be angry because she has to keep things afloat. This is her job, it’s what she has to do. She doesn’t have space for anything else.

And then there’s Lisa. She’s nervous and small but so clearly wants them to be something they don’t know how to give, because she was brought into this world unfairly and naturally assumed someone had to want her, and would love her. She hangs around corners and doors, looking in and waiting for them to say something. They don’t, mostly. She’s there with them because it’s safest, not because they know how to raise her.

I keep imagining this specific moment with Zane and Lisa. They’re out in the birchwood forest, where it’s never stopped snowing. Zane’s robes and cape are dragging in the snow and Lisa barely makes foot prints. Zane brought her here, and I think she was excited. He isn’t usually so proactive with her. I think they’re near where Dr. Julien’s workshop used to be. Zane stares out for a while into the snow and trees before kneeling down and kind of breaking her heart. His hands are heavy on her shoulders as he tells her that no one will ever see her as human. They will see her as a vessel, and then as a weapon (tapping the center of her chest, where a core stronger than his own has ever been lies), and that she has to know this. She has to, if she’s ever going to survive. He’s not trying to be cruel, and he’s not trying to scare her. He just believes it, and he believes the only way this tiny, new little nindroid is ever going to make it out in a way he never did, is if she understands it.

He does believe she’s human, though, maybe he doesn’t see himself the same way but Pixal and Lisa are not the same as him, in his mind. He doesn’t communicate this though, so Lisa is left thinking he thinks shes nothing at all

I think it’s a couple days later when Lisa just kind if shows up in Pixal ‘office’. The office is large and high tech and there’s holograms all over the place as Pixal works. Lisa lingers in the doorway for a while before Pixal sighs and lets her in. They talk for a while, and Pixal is distantly concerned why Lisa seems so— down-ridden. I think Lisa tells her that Zane said no one will see her as a human, and she if shes— if that is true. It’s a long pause and then from there Pixal tells her that no, that is not true. Tells her some of Zane’s story, pulls up old images on the holograms. She also tells her that she’s cannot be Lisa’s mother. She isn’t fit for it and she does not…have time. I think she turns back to her desk after, and I think Lisa leaves the office.

They really weren’t ready.

[bonny-kookoo]

Bonny we love everything you do! If you are up to, what about IT girl has a date and jk open a live coincidently on the same day and time so she cannot go

(Ps: Her date is an asshole and jk knows it)

You guys have really made me wanna write this... Warnings for Jungkook's internal dirty thoughts haha

First part: here

There's no fucking way he will let you go on a date with someone like sangwook. Absolutely not.

You're way too nice to say no to the guy, and he himself knows that the staff member has a certain way with words, knows how to get his way. But Jungkook has also heard the horror stories of the guy getting girls drunk until they're barely conscious, just so he can have his way with them- and he won't just sit here and let that happen to you of all people.

Not if he can do anything about it.

Jungkook and you had honestly had a great time when you eventually came over to eat the re-heated instant noodles together. He learned some stuff about you, about your interest, about who you are apart from just your job. You share a lot more interests with him than initially thought, both of you having a love for gaming and good food. And he especially enjoyed how natural you were, treating him like a normal person, not like the idol he is.

Maybe that's why he just can't let you go now.

He'd heard of the date from Sangwook himself- he'd been chatting with another female staff about you, and how he'll 'find out' if you're 'as innocent' as you apparently act. It made Jungkook feel like throwing up, a guy like that potentially filling you up with alcohol just to eat you like prey- he can't let that happen.

You've told him how you seek love, romance, excitement and something almost childish.

Exactly what he wants, too.

So he goes live, the only way he knows he will keep you there, well aware that you take your job (hopefully) too seriously to go on a date instead. He doesn't know how close you are with him yet- maybe it's a lost cause, maybe Sangwook had been the reason you'd been so hesitant with jungkook in the first place-

But he has to try.

"Hm, hello." He greets the fans, but more so you who he hopes is watching on the other side. "Its quite sudden, isn't it?" He chuckles, holding onto the iced wine in the glass mug in front of him. "Looks like a date? Ah, yes it does, doesn't it?" He grins, acting all shy.

And there it is. An angry smiley- several, even.

It makes him chuckle as he reads the comments and imagines you fuming in your home, but he can take the heat coming his way if he at least prevents that horrible date from happening. Have you already started to get ready? He wonders what you might look like all dolled up. In a short dress maybe, one that hugs your curves just right, with simple delicate straps holding it up over your shoulders. He knows you need no fancy designer shit.

He'd rip it off of you either way.

"Army.." he hums, referring to the fans, but hoping that you get the message most of all. "If you go on dates, late- you be careful, right?" He says, taking a sip of his iced wine, before setting the mug down, and rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. There's another round of emojis flooding in, and he can't help but laugh.

He continues this game for almost an hour, making sure that your date was not happening, before he ends the live.

And not even half an hour later, you're in his apartment, fuming, angry, upset. But you're there, and not with him, so Jungkook can't help but be satisfied.

Especially at the sight of you in a strapless denim-dress. Short, but long enough to cover you comfortably. The fabric stretches a bit over your curves, tits looking so good but a little uncomfortable. He would just have to pull down a little, just a tiny bit, and they'd spill out, he's sure of it. He can't see bra straps.

Are you not wearing one? Interesting.

You're pushing him lightly. "You asshole!" You yell at him. "You knew I had a date! You knew it!" You complain, and he nods, a simple smile on his face, and it only angers you more. "Stop laughing!" You demand, but he just raises his hands as if to show you he's no threat, but you just reach out to push him again-

But instead he pulls your wrists towards him, wraps his arms around you, completely catching you off guard as he holds you close, trying hard to ignore your body's warmth against his.

"I'm glad you didn't go." He says, and it sounds surprisingly serious. "I was worried you might." He tells you, and you hate how good he looks, how good he smells.

"Cause you wouldn't have someone to play around with?" You mumble still angry, and he chuckles.

"I'm not playing with you." He denies, swaying you both from side to side a little. "I really am not." He says as if to make sure his point gets to you.

"And yet you still ruined my date.." you complain.

"Sangwook isn't worth your time." He shakes his head.

"Oh but you are?" You scoff. He chuckles. Again.

"I mean, you're here, are you not?" He states.

You are. And you're not sure why you're here, why you didn't at least change, why you don't want to leave just yet.

"To tell you to stop trying to ruin my love life." You snap back in defense, and he laughs.

"Then stop trying to ruin mine." He says back, making you freeze in his arms before you both detach a little. "I thought we were good? Why did you agree to that date?" He wonders, and you shrug, crossing your arms.

"He asked... nicely, you know?" You say, looking at the floor.

"And you couldn't say no." He sighs. "Because you're too nice yourself." He scolds softly.

"I just.. wanted to, you know, talk to someone. Be social. Spend my evening with something else than animal crossing and icecream.." you try and justify yourself, and Jungkook suddenly opens his arms wide, shaking his head before he hits his chest.

"Am I not right here?" He complains. "Am I just an illusion or something?"

"..no?" You wonder, and he tilts his head in irritation for a moment.

"Then why am I not an option for you?" He asks, a little agitated. "I thought we were fine last time you were here. We had a really good time, talked, fuck I thought we were going somewhere!" He complains.

"I'm just.. scared." You say, and he runs a hand over his face.

"I know." He nods. "Lets just- okay. Do you want to try this?" He asks, motioning between you and him. "Yes or no."

"I don't know-" you start, but he shakes his head.

"Not an answer, try again." He tells you, crossing his arms.

"Jungkook what if we get caught-" You start again, but he denies it again.

"Yes or no. It's pretty easy." He says.

"What's your answer?" You ask, and he throws his head back in agony. "Okay, yeah- yes? But-"

"Good, great, fuck!" He barks out to no one, before he holds your face in his palms. "Just trust me. Please." He begs, eyes sparkling in both the light of the candle on his kitchen table, and the neon colored laser points traveling all around his walls from his moodlight.

"What do you want from me?" You ask, and he smiles.

"Your love." He answers, before he shrugs playfully. "And maybe the occasional fuck on the couch if I'm in the mood-" he starts, and you hit his chest at that, though you laugh.

"So you really do just want to screw me!" You whine, crossing your arms- unaware of how you're pushing up your cleavage.

"No, baby." He shakes his head, tongue running over his lip piercing. "I don't only want to fuck you." He answers.

"Though I won't say no if you're ever offering."

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episode 13 [PART 1]

I wonder what Joris's opinion on Tristepin abandoning post is. It'e either "thank god I don't have two Iops to wrangle" or "well at least the the one that's less likely to be killed is here" or "FOR FUCK'S SAKE NOT THIS FUCKING GUY"

Stealth mission with an iop by your side sounds like a whole new type of hell on earth.

It's very brief, but at this moment (5:50 in the episode), we can see Joris and Goultard going up the stairs.

The demons in my head are, once again, telling me to keep screenshotting him.

Trying to get her out is a pretty delicate balance, considering his strength. Joris is probably quite aware of the possibility that he might accdentally hurt her.

There's no fucking way Joris doesn't want Goultard to die a gruesome, violent death.

He's imagining Goultard's face instead of the rock... Seething and malding in silence.

GET SCARED.

DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE TIME TO DODGE. HEHEHEHE

at least he's a good teammate, when he's not calling Joris slurs as a joke.

Not him looking down at them. BITCH WORK!!

Once again, I am compelled to take screenshots. It cannot be helped.

I will be honest, the sudden influx of content where Joris and Goultard are portrayed as friends — like drinking together, or going on missions together — in the fandom has been very weird, because I think what became very clear in this season is that Goultard is an iop who treats people in an iop way (for iops it's just normal to roughouse each other) while Joris is a man who has been infantilized for 600 years, doesn't want to be friends with anyone except people who never question his intelligence (like Yugo and Amaliaa), and wants to kill himself whenever his height is pointed out. and also has 2 drinking buddies already (who shower him in praise at how righteous and heroic and smart he is).

Literally fundamentally incompatible personalities. Joris can barely stand to be here, and the only thing uniting them is "we're immortal and don't want the world to end". If he could, Joris would slip rat poison into whatever Goultard is eating or drinking — because he knows that while it will not kill him, it will make him feel Bad. 😭

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't really like it when characters' discomfort of being treated cruelly is taken as something cute or funny or a Friendship thing...

(Attention: I am not bashing anyone, but expressing my personal opinion)

DFGJSDFKLGHSDKJFGHDSFKJG

you can tell that Joris is not having a good time. he's at his fucking limit. first he let loose with a "if you only knew :) how many people :) have degraded me the same way :) for all my life :)" and now an explicit "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!"

I really do think he's imagining Goultard's head here.

:)

As someone insane enough to have drawn maaany comparisons between Nora&Efrim and Joris this season, I think he has a soft spot for her by now. She's been through a lot...

And I think Joris understands what it's like, to feel guilty, because of something horrible happening — even if it's not necessarily your fault; besides that, I think they both have very closely matched temperaments — they're both introspective and a bit embittered.

In a kinder universe, Nora and Joris could have been besties. And Nora could have gone to his house for tea. The two of them could probably speak very quietly to one another about some interesting, sad things.

And then Kerubim could have a post-divorce stress disorder-related heart palpitations due to seeing a pink haired woman IRL inside his house unannounced.

Basically, I NEED NORA&JORIS FRIENDSHIP FANART HI?!

Basically: I have crazy levels of brainworms about this (and about Eva trying to sacrifice herself for her family, but there are so many screenshots in this post already...)

Of COURSE he'd stand guard for her.

I'm fucking CRAZY and INSANE.

HIS SMILE HERE!! HE'S SO PROUD OF HER!!! HE BELIEVES IN HER!!!!!!

[riddles-n-games]

That Night In Prague Rant

Let me start off by saying Hannah and Toby's story was amazing and heartbreaking, Libby and Nash were also sweet and supportive of one another, Xander is awesome at giving emotional depth to others even in the strange circumstance of tackling, and Secret Santa was quite literally a blast. But there's one story I haven't mentioned yet, have I? You know which one since it's the literal title to this rant/critique.

To get the basic pleasantries out of the way, I loved the promise ring scene, the way Jameson admires Avery lighting up and wanting to see the world through her eyes, the fact he wrote her postcards, and Avery's protectiveness of him. That's it. Great. Now we can get to the real stuff. My dear Jennifer Lynn Barnes, when you announced this book back in February during the month of romance, I recall that this book promised to deliver on ROMANTIC stories and showing us how a Hawthorne man loves. Why the heck did you keep trying to insert every possible wink wink nudge nudge moment possible in Avery's POV then?

When she stated Avery was gonna have a POV again, I was excited but I wasn't sure if I should leap for joy. See, given how Averyjameson were portrayed in the last book, I was somewhat disappointed since I really wanted to see Avery through Jameson's eyes in a more romantic light. It was an eyeroll, unfortunately, and what a missed chance for a wedding dress ref in the race outfit scene since he gave her a promise ring.

However, people were saying, ah, it's Jameson, he's a teenage boy. And ok, I did bite my tongue after that because alright, that's just him (though I am still bitter about his lack of development in TBH), but that wasn't the case with Avery. She's my girl, I can always rely on her, right? Three books of build up with a pretty solid character voice made her who she became in TFG. Cool, I was ready to go back. And as I said so many times before, she gave Jameson depth which helped us see what so many did not and I loved how she didn't let him get away with certain things. She was sensible.

WTF was this then? This is not Avery Kylie Grambs. This is A Very Random Imposter (you come up with the anagram). Imagine my fricken surprise when out of nowhere Jameson As A Girl appeared instead.

The crimes of the story: "after a lengthy and not quite G-rated negotiation" (WT actual F), "like his body wasn't tense in all the right ways", "smile of his made me want to do things", “I would let him demonstrate all the many, many reasons he had to be that smug", "His search had been... thorough" (????).

This sounds so cringey and unlike Avery. It felt like JLB was trying to force Max and Jameson and Rohan into her POV. Clearly after only two years of not being in her original character's POV and changing through 5 main characters (which was a horrible idea in the first place), she's managed to mish-mash her only properly developed character into sounding like another person.

The innuendos here are the worst I've seen. Avery has never been crass or sexually charged so why start that now? We already have characters that take on that route and now you're trying to ruin Avery with that? PUH-lease. Jameson was enough in TBH and now you're trying to ruin my girl? NO. Absolutely NOT. If JLB wanted to implement this in the og trilogy, then it should have been done earlier but no, Avery was never that girl and she shouldn't be now.

This isn't and cannot be listed as character growth in the slightest because if she sounded the same after a year in TFG post THL and also sounded like her normal self in Secret Santa which is in the same book as TNIP, there should be no reason why she sounds like this here. It ruins the continuation in her character POV which is something that at this point should be solid as stone. Not to mention, not everything works for everyone and that's ok. While I hate it, it makes more sense in Jameson's POV than hers. In Avery's POV, I cringe at it because it sounds so unnatural for her and feels like I'm looking at someone trying to fit into a crowd they just don't mesh with.

Three books solidified that. Why else did we fall in love with TIG in the first place? Partly because of who Avery was and who she became over the course of the trilogy. She stood out amongst the crowd. Did she have a similar way of thinking about puzzles like Jameson? Yes. Did she have a different approach to romance? Yes. Did she help Jamie become a more sensible guy? Yes! Was their flirty banter fun and interesting? Always. That's part of what made me love them so much in the first place but it shifted so suddenly that now they're sounding like Savannah and Rohan.

In October, when we had the preview of more chapters, I immediately noted this sounds like a very different Avery, either older or an alternate universe version of her. If she wants to do this with Rohannah, go ahead; they're a new budding romance so that has room for whatever she didn't use in other ones but leave Averyjameson as we've known them to be for three novels that solidified who they are. I know other romances should be given a chance, I never said that shouldn't be the case but if I'm being given the chance to see my favorite ship being in the spotlight, then do it right one last time. You have three books as your guideline.

Anyways, I'm dissatisfied so I will be doing a rewrite of TNIP since this is a shorter thing to take care of than a whole novel. Have a great day and thanks for reading. Fics will be out at some point, God, so much real life work to do.