#It had suspiciously similar details to my own birth but you know what that's not my problem!

[the-magpie-archives]

I gotta be honest if some random guy approached me in the street and asked me to tell him my paranormal trauma I'd literally just tell him? Like he wouldn't have to compel me I'd like to share. Free therapy for me, free story for him! Not my problem if it feeds an otherworldly overlord.

[fresh-depression-soup]

No one believes in aliens. Heck, even I don’t particularly have an opinion. But, there are facts that we should be aware of and that line-up suspiciously.

For instance, my family has a long history in military work dating back to the Founding Fathers themselves, more recently being in the Air Force. My great uncle was in the same unit as President George Bush Sr. in WWII, my dad’s dad and stepdad and my grandpa were Air Force during WWII and Vietnam, and mom’s dad was in New Mexico as one of the soldiers helping test the first atom bomb. It is truly astounding how far back family history takes you, how far it shows your blood has been. My dad has been around the country during his youth while his dad and stepdad were active duty, consequently seeing quite more of the U.S. than is probably available to the general public. He has recalled to my siblings and I exactly once, and in careful detail, of an event we are only privy to through accident. My dad’s mom’s side of the family lived in New Mexico during one of the most curious possible alien sightings, by circumstance of a family member being in service nearby at the time.

Roswell, New Mexico, is a place of great debate.

All I can say is that we have accounts, handed down to me by just two generations of family, that witnessed the most infamous day that birthed the phenomena of UFO sightings. But, is unidentified really true? The event is disregarded in history as a military balloon so why would the flying object be unidentified?

Perhaps it is unidentified because we do not actually know where it came from. If the first hand accounts sneakily passed through generations are anything to be believed, then aliens are just as real a possibility as imaginable. Nothing is concrete of course, the accounts have had plenty of time to be embellished through time, but even the bare bones picture of what is painted shows something similar to a worldwide cover up by the United States government.

It sounds crazy, because it is. But also my family is not the type to joke, especially when you talk about my dad’s mom’s side.

From the stories, my family saw snippets of the craft that was taken by far, far too many government vehicles and guarded by an unreasonable amount of local and national police. If this was “just a weather balloon,” it must have been a hell of an important one. Also, the recovered wreckage that was seen in transport was incredibly advanced and sleek, nothing that my family had ever seen before from test sites.

On its own, these circumstances are suspicious but not enough to make any declaration with.

So I will add the statements of my own father, who in the late 1970s or early 1980s, was with his parents going through a military facility in Ohio. They were there for a tour of sorts of the portions of the facility open to the public. My father, being young, dumb, and curious, snuck off from the group and wandered into the part of the facility top secret to anyone except the high ranking military staff. He had taken a staircase down a few floors and eventually ran into another museum kind of room - except it was filled with alien artifacts.

It has been long enough my father does not remember everything that was in the room, but he vividly remembers seeing pieces of smooth metal in thick, glass display cases titled, “Recovered Alien Craft from Roswell, NM.” My father was found soon after he made it into that room and was escorted out of the building with his parents, and sworn under NDAs they signed before going in, they can never publicly talk about anything they saw in the facility.

I’m starting to wonder now if that was a bad idea.

As I stare at the national news channel, witness to the live feed of alien starships sending smaller fighters across the world, I can’t help but wonder if secrecy was worth this. I can’t help but wonder if the world knew the truth my father whispered to me two decades ago, if it would become this bad this fast. I can’t help but wonder what better ways we could have defended ourselves if our oh so righteous government would have warned us of our apocalypse.

This is not the battle we thought we would face, but humanity has always reveled in war.

So we took up arms, our differences unceremoniously shoved in the corner. Humanity, for the first time in millenia, issued a state of peace with each other worldwide. Of course, we still had our differences at home, but faced with an invading trans-galactic force that harnessed light travel while we were cavemen, we United.

We didn’t know until long later when sharing stories with other intergalactic species, but the invaders had been torturing the sectors of space nearest to us for longer than lived memory. Their official species title was Xakkiel, when translated to human tongue, but well. In the early days we fought back from every corner.

We nicknamed them The Imperial Khans.

On the early warfronts, humanity was scattered and uncoordinated mostly. But then, leaders arose. It actually didn’t surprise the world too much about where these resistance leaders came from. Each of them had the same drawl, the same will, and the same vicious instinct. In these early days, interplanetary communication was hard to come by because most satellites were destroyed by the Xakkiel, but word of mouth threw the stories far and wide, encouraging other resistance pockets. From the depths of America, stories of the Rednecks prevailed.

The Rednecks went out to their hunting gear and dragged out every single weapon they owned, whether rifles, handguns, knives, even a few swords and medieval armor sets from history lovers. These were distributed among unarmed friends and family and from there, the world grew hope. Stories of camo-covered snipers, wiping out entire Xakkiel units dispatched through the Appalachians and the forests of the Deep South, stories of ambushes from hand-to-hand combat proficient humans, and one notable story of Xakkiels running across bear families and being mauled.

The Imperial Khans grew to be scared of the thick accents of some humans, of rugged, sunburnt skin, of the sound of shotguns cocking.

Humans went from laughing or being fascinated by the idea of aliens, to beheading them.

We don’t “believe” in aliens anymore. We despise them. We chase them through our backyards and lose pieces of ourselves in the process, but for every human that lost a limb, a Xakkiel lost its life. Other species are fighting back against the oppression of the Xakkiels now too. They heard through the stars of a soft bodied, yet determined and unbreakable race that was invaded and continued still, breaking the spirits of those who began the invasion.

Humans have banded together with broken Xakkiel craft and fixed it, using them to chase the invaders out of our solar system and others. Now we are the aliens - except we save the universe instead of destroying it.

[jeannereames]

Which "side characters" to Alexander's story are you most interested in both as a historian and as a fiction author?

Well, Hephaistion is obvious. But my interests as an historian and as a writer are slightly different.

As an historian, I could wish for a more unbiased account of Perdikkas. Of Alexander's age cohort, he had the highest appointments at the youngest age. I suspect it owes to equally high birth. We aren't sure, but his father Orontes was probably the prince/once-king of the canton of Orestis. In the sources, he's poorly treated in part due to bad press from the Successor Wars.

Reputedly, he was arrogant and high-handed, and his own officers (led by Seleukos) killed him in Egypt. But was he that bad, or are these reports part of that bad press (and Seleukos's and Ptolemy's ambitions)? If he were a prince, perhaps his arrogance had cause. Alexander seemed to think he was the most competent of those who remained in Babylon and gave him the ring. Would he still have got it if Krateros hadn't been sent away earlier on his own mission? I suspect not, but we just don't know.

And then there's Krateros, who may also have hailed from Orestis and was probably a cousin of Perdikkas. But, again, we can't be sure. I'd like a better sense of Krateros, as well, to evaluate his place at court. Like Perdikkas, our sources attach a bias to him, but in his case, a positive one. I'm as suspicious of that as I am of the negative one assigned to Perdikkas.

After that, it's largely the women. Olympias, yes. But even more Kleopatra, Thessalonike, and Kynanna. Also Philip's mother Eurydike. I expect THAT woman was someone to be reckoned with. As was Audata, Kynanna's mother. And Hadea, the daughter/granddaughter. Roxana, and Darius's daughters.

Oh, I'd like to know a little more about Parmenion's family--where they came from originally (Pelagonia or not?), and the two younger sons. Philotas sucks up all the air in the room.

Last, I wish we knew more about Darius himself: who he was before being raised to the throne. My friend, Scott Oden, has decided to work on a novel about Darius, which I expect to be spectacular. He has a real talent for detailing the losing side with compassion and insight. If you've not read his novel, Memnon, I recommend it, or Men of Bronze. I think he'll do a great job giving Darius a fair shake.

Now, as an AUTHOR, my interests are similar, but I get to include fictional characters, such as Kampaspe. She may be mentioned in our sources, but was almost certainly a Roman-era invention. Also, you'll get to meet a priest of Ammon who'll travel with Alexander. While also fictional, Alexander must have had such officiants, as he regularly included Ammon in his sacrifices. And, of course, Kleopatra will continue as a voice and window on what's happening in Europe while Alexander is out gallivanting around Asia.

Last, there's a fellow in Athens you'll get to hear more about: Phokion. Plutarch wrote a life of him, in which he's portrayed as the last respectable Athenian general, and was nicknamed "the Good," in antiquity. In the novel, Hephaistion meets him in Athens, when he's there the second time, and he becomes one of (several) people Hephaistion corresponds with, besides Aristotle and Kleopatra.

Oh, I forgot…not a side character of Alexander, but I REALLY REALLY wish we knew more about Alexander (I) “the Golden.”

[thezestyone]

That perception game seems so so fun!!! Okay! Okay!

Hmm... You've said one can mention personality details... Let's go by 5s!

>>Positive traits: Creative, Diligent, Hard-working, Responsible, Forgiving >> Negative traits: Overthinker, Somewhat socially clueless, Anxious, Overprotective, Complainer >> A wild card: In my country, we have a thing called matura exams. People are admitted into university based on results of those. They happen annually, so even though you can re-take them, they are a bit of a big deal. I've spent all my time in high school making sure those would go well -- to the point of studying during New Year's Eve, summer holidays, etc. The thing is, 10 days before the exams I found a pregnant cat. She went into labour as I was taking my first exam... So, naturally, I forgot to be nervous about the exam, and handed it back around the time half the available time passed. I was so afraid she would die if nobody was there to make sure that labour and post-labour recovery goes well, that I did that on all of my exams (... sometimes handing them back even sooner). All my classmates were stressed out of their mind and expected similar out of me -- instead, when they approached me, I'd say something along the lines of 'Fuck the exams, I can take them next year, IF MY CAT DIES I CAN'T RESURRECT HER, LET'S GET DONE WITH THIS'. (All my exams went well, and the cat ended up birthing two healthy kittens).

OKAY, THIS WAS LONGER THAN EXPECTED. (I hope it was at least funny, I must have looked like a total maniac then lol).

Soo... For the warlords... Could I ask for Masamune, Mitsuhide & Nobunaga?

@lorei-writes,

It’s fine, ha ha. Thank you for sharing this with me, what a cute story! I am glad to hear mama cat and her kitties are doing well! Makes it so ironic that Masamune is your favorite, ha ha. The kitten who saves other kittens!

What they think about you upon first sight:

Masamune:

As soon as he set his one blue eye on you, he had cooked up all sorts of plans he had in mind with you. Yes, days full of adventure when he was not fulfilling his duty as a warlord. Hop on his horse, this was going to be one long, thrilling ride. Is he going too fast? He thinks he is not going fast enough! He found you to be the cutest lass he ever had the pleasure of seeing, even when you complained of the more than crazy ride to Azuchi. He was a whirlwind of fun, but there was more to him than that. There was a perceptiveness and emotional intelligence that was a beauty to behold. He found you would work a bit too hard for the castle, and invite you to have lunch with him to take a load off. Any anxieties you had about the wars he would do away with by putting a smile on your face, telling you how he would protect you and how you had nothing to worry about. He made it no secret that he was hooked on you, and that he wanted so much more with you. Would you indulge him? He is okay with whatever you desire. Though, hearing of the tale of you saving cats would only firm his resolve to make you his own kitten.

Mitsuhide:

Upon first sight, the silver Kitsune was able to tell he was going to have a lot of fun with you. You seemed so anxious adjusting to your new life, and he took great pleasure teasing you every chance he got. However, being a big tease was not the only thing he liked to be. Behind the scenes, he liked to send some maids to help you out with your workload. He would spare a word to the rest of the Oda Forces that you were overthinking the work you had to do, knowing full well they would rush to your aid to help you get better adjusted. The fact you so quickly forgave him for his teasing ways would catch him off-guard. Usually his teasing got fun, annoyed reactions out of people. The way you would not pry to his schemes would also catch him off guard, since everyone always wanted to know everything he was doing, finding him suspicious. He would find himself wanting to be close to you, if only to hear your voice. Maybe he did want something more, maybe he did care a lot about you. Unless you pried, he would never tell, even when some of his friends would be catching on to his clear infatuation for you. Would you catch on? If you did, he would have no qualms being yours.

Nobunaga:

You were the unusual woman who saved his life. That fact alone made him intrigued by you. You surely brought him good fortune, and he was keen to keep you by his side, wanting you to be his completely. He was fast, but he was a man who knew what he wanted. He could tell by looking at you that you had a good heart, perhaps a heart too good for this world. He would cherish such a rare kindness, giving you whatever you desired. When he would find out about your hard work ethic, he would find himself desiring you even more. He was not innocent by any means, what with his position and streak of being a bit of a prankster at the worst of times. He was a noble warlord, giving you all sorts of amenities so you would feel at home at Azuchi castle, doing away with your anxieties and complaints. He wanted to be there for you, his oh so precious lucky charm. Would you allow yourself to be taken by him, him who was such an intense lover? Or would you be his prankster in crime, indulging him in his childish games? He felt he could be everything he was with you, and he hoped that you would reciprocate that as well.

[phoenixyfriend]

I am seized by a fatal need for courtroom ninja drama fic

But not serious courtroom drama. I'm talking Phoenix Wright style Nonsense.

(Some of this was provided by the folks over in @sloaners​‘ server, but the bulk of it was me spitballing nonsense at people who actually know the games, which I do not. I do paraphrase a few times to make it more feasible as a tumblr post/fic concept, rather than a rapidfire text conversation.)

Or one of those like. Reality TV paternity test things? But specifically in my mind the people involved in the actual paternity are a married couple and someone that joined them to be their third, and Clan Elders are throwing a fit about how the baby might not be the heir by blood! while the actual parents are like "I could not care less, this is our child, all three of us, please stop getting involved."

HashiMitoMada would be a VERY good option for the paternity nonsense, mostly because I can see Madara screeching at his own elders about how he already said Izuna would be his heir and he's not changing his mind!

Tobirama is just begging the paternity test to work faster off-screen because he's the only person with the machines to make it happen.

(Hashirama is just. Moping in a corner.)

"I just had to INVENT a paternity test that works before the birth! I had to figure out how to test amniotic fluid! If you assholes make me do something this stupid on such short notice again, I will be digging some shallow graves!" "...for who?" "I haven't decided yet."

Anyway, jumping back to like a Phoenix Wright-style murder investigation.

The victim was Danzo. Even the prosecution isn't actually that interested in making sure someone gets arrested, but they're legally obligated to do at least try. A bunch of people all acting really suspicious about who killed him. There is at least one shitty fake mustache-on-glasses disguise to provide a paper-thin alibi.

WAIT The other thing this gives us is ninjas in three-piece-suits but half of them wear the suits wrong. I’m talking mismatched buttons. The wrong way of tying their tie. Sewn-on-cufflinks. This is Naruto, for instance.

Tobirama would wear it properly, except he's rushing about in a lab coat, screaming at everyone to get out of his way because he's The Entire Forensics Team.

(This is the part where I have to confess that I have only seen the live-action movie of Phoenix Wright, as I don't game, so I just have the live action and tumblr osmosis.)

At this point, of course, we gotta ask: Who is the most Belligerent Witness And who is the Helpful™️ Witness that's super enthusiastic but entirely useless

I can see, say, Mito being a solid witness that both defense and prosecution are really thankful for.

Modern gen you have like... Sasuke and Neji are both incredibly belligerent witnesses. Neji at least is polite about it but pulls the "only answers with the absolute minimum of information."

Lee and Gai would have the over enthusiasm but forget to say actual vital testimony until pressed, and Naruto would love to help but might not be entirely sure what the case even is.

Shikamaru falls asleep when the lawyers consult their partners. Prosecution A consults Prosecution B for thirty-seven seconds, then turns around and the witness is asleep at the stand.

Tobi (as in Obito with mask) is an incredibly frustrating witness. They have to declare a recess just so all the lawyers can recover their blood pressure. "Can we please get someone up on the stand with this guy as a handler? I'm--I'm going to explode."

Gaara: Helpful. Polite. Answers with detail. Answers the spirit of the question as well as the letter. Includes more detail. That's too much detail. Gaara please stop telling us about the sounds that bones make.

His testimony just drags on forever.

Ninken can and will take the stand! Pakkun even enjoys it! Some ninken require translators.

ABURAME TRANSLATING FOR A RANDOM GIANT CENTIPEDE THAT WITNESSED A MURDER IN THE FOREST OF DEATH

There are arguments about whether or not the testimony can count since nobody else can confirm the translation except Other Aburame so how do they know the Aburame aren't part of the coverup.

"Okay, so this Danzo guy had like fifty shell companies but I think I found the route that leads back to him?" "Nah, that one goes to a guy that died eighty years ago that's still collecting pensions: his family lied and said he was still alive for the money." "Fuck!"

Also I just. I love the idea of Sasuke and Madara being the exact opposite kind of belligerent witness.

Also, Orochimaru answers with pretty much the exact kind of wording as Gaara, but where Gaara is trying to be helpful and provide detail for the sake of the case, and failing to see that it's maybe not necessary, Orochimaru just wants to see people squirm. ...similar thing happens with Sakura and Kabuto. Similar phrasing, very different energy.

I keep picturing all of Team Taka as part of Forensics and Evidence Collecting ajshakshjd

Juugo, holding up a rabbit: I found a witness.

Karin joins forensics and Tobirama nearly weeps from joy until he finds her criminal record "Shit, that was supposed to get thrown out when I turned eighteen."

Tobirama: I asked for an assistant, not a criminal. Karin: I'm on parole. Tobirama: That makes things worse. Karin: I know how to use a [concerningly advanced machine that I, a business major, cannot name]. Tobirama: ...never mind, I'm keeping you.

Karin: I know how to DNA sequence AND use LA-ICP-MS Tobirama: [weeps with joy]

Suigetsu would be great at blood splatter analysis. ...I think I read somewhere that blood spatter analysis is actually over in 'fake science that's pushed by cops and media but actually doesn't work' BUT apparently it’s in the Ace Attorney games so we’re going to ignore reality a bit. We’ve already got dogs and rabbits and centipedes as witnesses, what’s a bit of blood spatter?

He's also probably really good at cause of death stuff? Like looking at corpse and figuring out how long it took the victim to die, which blow did it, whether any damage was inflicted post-mortem, etc.

Sasuke is usually too busy playing Belligerent Witness but sometimes goes to join Taka for... uh... reasons.

Juugo: [takes the stand] Lawyer: Hey, uh, why's that Uchiha guy with him? The witness-- Judge: No, no, we need Uchiha Sasuke on hand when questioning Expert Animal Handler Juugo. Lawyer: ...why? Judge: Property damage.

(Sasuke as a work partner with Juugo, also moonlighting as a witness/suspect in Danzo's murder.)

One time they need Juugo but can't find him even though court is already in session and he said he'd be here, turns out he was lured away by Kakashi's army of dogs. Kakashi didn't notice until he turned to ask Pakkun if he could help find the missing expert.

Juugo is a decent lab assistant, I think?

Anyway.

Tobirama taking on Team Taka as his forensics team while Orochimaru is... hm... traveling the country to promote his new autobiography, which is outselling the newest Icha Icha to Jiraiya's ire.

Sloane suggested “a case where it's all the Sannin as suspects in a murder. They would be THE WORST, say... the murder of Hanzo.”

To which I suggested “The Sannin are all suspects but the people on trial are the Ame trio, maybe?”

Which garnered the response of “It could be a surprise upset IN COURT that the trio should be on trial.”

We love a court upset.

Suigetsu finds out that the cause of death was actually an entirely natural heart attack, but while he was determining this, the rest of the team and the lawyers found like eight conspiracies by Zetsu, three by Danzo, four by Orochimaru, and an entire network of nonsense by Sasori.

INO IS THE PSYCHIC. I know her thing in canon is reading minds but pls. Ino is Maya. The Spirit Medium.

Is the judge: 1. Hiruzen 2. Hashirama 3. Hagoromo 4. Mifune 5. The Daimyou

(Old dude with authority, optionally easily distracted/questionably competent. I'd have gone for impressive facial hair but only Mifune and Hagoromo have more than like... Hiruzen's weird soul patch.)

It's not a soul patch but I don't know what facial hair is called and I can't just call it a goat beard

Response commentary was as follows: The Daimyou would unfortunately be closer to the personality of the ace attorney judge, more blindly agreeing with things that sound good :joy: Hiruzen could be fun if only for the competing facial hair for a beard, yes xD Hagoromo would possibly be most buckwild tho WELCOME TO MOON COURT

I managed to get this far with like... NO idea who the judges were except “IDK maybe Kakashi?” but consider:

...HashiMada rival lawyers

Dropping over to Izuna vs. Touka for when Hashirama and Madara inevitably become suspects of something or other themselves and have to be witnesses.

(Tobirama's too busy running blood tests, Anija, let Touka handle it, she's better at people anyway.)

...Hashirama is like. Marginally more put-together than Madara, right? So that... makes him Edgeworth... somehow... That feels wrong but Madara as Edgeworth feels even more wrong.

Madara is very into screaming OBJECTION

ALSO consider: Friction when a doctor from a nearby hospital gets called in to provide expert testimony on something because Karin is like "no hey I should be the one doing this" and then she sees how cute Sakura is.

But also at some point Kakashi vs. Gai for a nonsense case. Their personalities are both VERY FUN for this sort of thing.

[ninjastormhawkkat]

My Crazy Wordgirl Theory #2

I will get to writing stories for my version of the Becky Boxleitner au. I just really need to get this out of the way. After going through sites for the canon facts of the Wordgirl television series and re-watching old Wordgirl episodes to help me write some stories for my version of the au, I sort of discovered something interesting. In a scene from “The Rise of Miss Power” we see an image of a male and female Lexiconian superhero duo painted on the ceiling of the room in the episode special. Now about everyone in the fandom has speculated that image is a painting of her biological parents, or an idea of what her parents would look like. But what if that were not true? What if that painting was just a symbolic image of what the humanoid people on Lexicon typically looked like? Back in the episode, “Wordgirl Makes A Mistake”, Becky mentions that she accidentally crawled onto the ship of Captain Huggy Face, a famous (Lexiconian) Air Force Pilot when she was really little. For about 10 or 11 years, Bob and Becky have been raised on earth with no attempts to get back to Lexicon, and no one from Lexicon has come to find them. I am not trying to paint Becky’s biological parents in a bad light, but why was no Lexiconian searching for their lost child? From looking at Wordgirl’s Spaceship Hideout, it appears that people from Lexicon have the technological resources to track down the crashed ship of a famous pilot and find him and a lost child. This would take them only a few years. Also looking at Wordgirl’s origin story, it seems that Lexicon is not lightyears away from Earth or Becky and Bob would have been a bit older than when they were found in the origin flashback. (I know it is a cartoon, but some rules of science still apply to the show). I don’t know how far the planets are from each other but I think they exist in the same solar system if indicated by the alien tech that Lexiconians are able to travel faster to planets without aging much. Again I ask if this is possible, then why has no one come to rescue Becky and Bob? What if it was because Becky was meant to have crawled onto Huggy’s ship and never be found? We don't know the strength of Lexiconian’s memory at a young age. We know they can remember everything they read since Becky knows every word in the dictionary, but we don’t know how early they maintain a photographic memory. I believe that Bob may have told Becky the story about how they came to earth when she was old enough. From watching that scene, we can assume Becky only has memories of crawling onto a ship and falling asleep, then waking up to a startled pilot. Bob even has no clue how a child with no business being near a spaceship about to take off so he tells her what he only knows. Could it be Becky was never meant to be found by anyone else from Lexicon? Why so? Why hide from a planet of heroes? Here is where the conspiracy I formulated in my head starts. Let’s consider this question: What if Becky was only half Lexiconian?

We first need to look at Lexicon’s political structure. About everyone who has watched or watches the show must have thought at one point that Lexicon was a planet of heroes which is why Becky wanted to use her powers for good and become a superhero at an early age. What we may not realize is that the term hero could apply differently on Lexicon than on Earth. In the flashback of Wordgirl’s origin, Becky refers to Huggy as a famous air force pilot. He is even called Captain Huggy Face. Also in the special, “The Rise of Miss Power”, Huggy gives Wordgirl a book titled Super Advanced Secret Battle Moves of the Planet Lexicon in order to help her in the final battle against Miss Power. Now I don’t know about you, but this makes me think that Lexicon had some type of military control and the term hero on their planet was a military term. One of the statues of a Lexiconian in that special was wearing a Roman-style helmet, something a soldier in the Roman army would wear. I don’t know if Lexicon has a military government or just a government with a strong military influence. I don’t know what type of rule Lexicon has, but it definitely has a military of some sort. From the statues and painting we seen of Lexiconians, Wordgirl’s outfit is typical outer clothing for Lexicon. This also sparks an idea of a common uniform for Lexicons which would make sense if there is some type of military influence on the planet. This ties into my theory about Becky. Now from what I have learned about aliens from all the sci-fi themed shows and movies such as Doctor Who and Monsters Vs. Aliens, most aliens seem to view the human race as a lesser species compared to them. We can see that with how Miss Power acted toward the villains and the citizens. Even though she was not a Lexiconian, Miss Power still viewed everyone as lesser and as servants to herself. In my opinion with Kid Math, before Wordgirl set him straight, he seemed to view heroics as a game or something interesting that he could copy for himself. He was friendly, but he appeared to take what Becky was teaching him about being a normal kid as a learning experience at first. I don’t know if this also applied to Lexiconians, but I think that due to the implications of military themes shown in the series, there are some that might have had a purity complex. There could have been Lexiconians might have wanted only their species to be the “heroes” and keep that in their own bloodline. I don’t think every Lexiconian held that belief since in one episode we see Bob on a date with Bosco, but maybe some in higher social classes strongly believed in purity, or would never consider marrying a human. With the evidence of military themes, it is possible they have class structures on Lexicon. Now what if a high class Lexiconian, broke that purity thinking and mated with a human. Here is my theory on Becky’s Parentage.

A woman from Lexicon, someone with military training like huggy has and in a high position, was put in an arranged marriage with someone she did not love at all nor could ever love. This person, a military man, possibly with a higher rank than the woman and have strong familial ties on Lexicon, was a corrupt person. She tried everything she could to get out this arranged marriage, but even her family was pushing her to do it because of reasons such as tradition or importance of appearance or something that only concerns them and not the woman. The woman soon takes an exploration opportunity and uses it to get away from all the drama she is facing and for her own mental and emotional health. She soon lands on planet earth, specifically a place called Fair City, and explores around for a while. This woman soon spots a distracted human male about to cross onto a busy road. This woman already has a good nature and quickly pulls the man out of danger without anyone noticing her unusual super speed. The man, grateful, turns to thank the woman. According to how love works from the Hotel Transylvania movies, they immediately zinged. This man and woman get to know each other a little bit more over the time the women was allowed to stay away from Lexicon. She does not give every detail about herself (her alien background), but she feels free with this man who respects her emotions and loves her for her. They get more intimate over months and everything is going great. Then she feels ill one day and under the guise of going to a hospital, the woman goes back to her ship for a medical scan. To her surprise, she is pregnant with her boyfriend’s child. This is bad because her time on exploration is about to be up and if she returns any time later, they will find about about her hybrid offspring and her corrupt fiance may kill her and her child as “punishment” for finding true love. She doesn’t have the option to not come back because they can and will do anything to find her and this would put her lover in danger as well. With a heavy heart she soon leaves her lover and returns to Lexicon and marries her corrupt fiance. She does this to protect her lover and child. This woman soon gives birth to a daughter that has her human father’s eyes with her mother’s facial features, hair color and style. The top parted bangs is a possible mixture of her human father’s and Lexiconian mother’s hair style. Her husband soon becomes suspicious about his wife’s time away and “their” child. About a year later, her husband discovers the child’s human lineage and goes into a dark rage. This woman hurries and escapes the dome city she lived in and soon encounters Captain Huggy Face about to take off. She sees that her husband and his men are about to catch up with her. She puts down her child and urges her to walk towards the ship. In a last ditch effort to save her child, she sacrifices herself and holds back her husband and his men long enough so the ship takes off and there is nothing that can be done. The fate of the woman is unknown.

In regards to Becky’s human father, let’s go over some canonical evidence. It says on the Wordgirl wiki that Becky has light brown skin. I believe Becky might be biracial. She could possibly be an offspring of an African American Woman and a white ethnic man. I googled what biracial kids look like and Becky looks similar to a biracial child born of a African American parent and a white ethnic parent. (I don’t know the what proper term I should use for referring to White ethnicity and I do not want to offend anyone by accident.) (I am just basing my conspiracy theory on visual evidence and scientific fact.) For about everyone, except one person, on Wordgirl, they have black eyes. I have seen fanart of the characters with different eye colors. For Becky’s dad, while I agree he could have blue eyes, it is also possible for him to have brown eyes as well, the eye color Becky inherited. Another thing I noticed that Becky could have inherited from her human father is his personality. Let’s review Becky’s personality and behaviors. Becky does not enjoy her family singing on the road or doing about any family car activity on a constant loop. Though not often, Becky is able to use gadgets and seems to have an understanding of how each part should work in a machine. She was able to make sure the egg and apple slicer that was entered in the Young Inventor’s competition was able to still function as intended after pressing them together using her super strength. Another thing is that she gets irritated when the spotlight is taken off her every time she accomplishes something as Wordgirl such as with Tiny Big and Granny May when she was an undefeated bingo champion. Wordgirl/Becky also tends to get a bit sassy when she is irritated just like her dad. She also acts proud of herself and her accomplishments as Becky and Wordgirl which border on the line between humble and prideful. Like her dad she does get distracted and a little absentminded such as when she leaves Huggy behind after a crime or when she gets too focused on her interests such as Pretty Princess and boy crushes. There are times when Becky wants to accomplish something, either for her own desires or to just impress people, she will become inconsiderate of others. Examples include Becky interrupting Violet’s rehearsal for the Romeo and Juliet play and revealing Scoop’s personal tooth secret when she took over running the school’s paper for a day. Becky also sometimes feels she “needs to always be the winner”. It can be assumed that she copies that behavior from Tim Botsford who gets very competitive and upset when his family does not win. The thing is that Tim is almost immediately humbled afterwords when he puts into perspective that he did his best and is a winner in his family’s and his own eyes. Becky may also share that perspective sometimes, but she will still tend to fret over her mistakes until someone calms her down. As I said, Becky sometimes still needs to feel as the winner, more so in her battles as Wordgirl against villains. We have also seen Becky feel upset when people don’t like her work such as when Violet and Bob hid Becky’s horrible painting in the janitor’s closet when they were decorating the school gym for a dance while Becky was fighting evil as Wordgirl. Becky is also seen to be clever and tricky when she needs to such as in the episode “Bend It Like Becky” when she was trying to get Dr. Two Brains to agree with a soccer match that would determine which group was going to enjoy the field for the next 3 months.

One final thing before I finish is that throughout some episodes, we can see Becky similarly imitate her human dad’s facial features and body gestures when he is there. Now I leave off with this question. Do Becky’s personality and behaviors I mentioned remind you of any cheese loving, villain scientist? I will let you think about it.

[marshthat]

I'm here for the 16-pages essay about Mace and Eeth :)

LMAO well you asked for that yourself hshsjhsjj *cracks knuckles*

It’s almoust 16 pages long in my google docs, I’m not kidding, so I’m gonna make a little intro and then hide the rest under the “keep reading” thing (also I’m going to shorten it a bit, but nothing significant will be left out, I promise)

Uhm so yes three things for the intro:

1. These takes are based mainly on my ship interpretation of the canon things, so yeah if you don’t want to see the ship material in them they can be easily disagreed with in terms of how correct I see the intentions of the characters behind their words and actions, but BUT you’re here for macekoth aren’t you? So for a macekoth shipper this is a list of totally canon endless happiness and we’ll go with that :)

2. LEGENDS CANON IS CANON (in my heart there is no decanonising of the EU, nooo, I pretend disney didn’t hurt me qwq)

3. I'm not a native speaker and my english is far from perfect so if you think I’m talking strange - yes I am, I’m sorry, but yeah, that’s how we’re rolling here.

And now - moving on to the essay. I will take random pieces of media one by one and explain why exactly I see Mace/Eeth there.

As I call this, “Fantastic MaceKoth hints and interactions, and where to find them”

Star Wars 13: Emissaries to Malastare, Part 1 

So, what do we see here? Oooooh, the Concordance of Fealty. In general, the exchange of lightsabers is a very interesting phenomenon in the Jedi Order, and not only because no one remembered it existing before Macekoth decided to engage in one (because there are not known participants in the timeline BEFORE Mace and Eeth, while there are some AFTER) , but also because of its significance. The Concordance of Fealty is said to establish a “master-less learning relationship” between the two Jedi, i.e., a Force-bond that, if not superior, is equally as close and strong as the bond of a master and a padawan, which is said to be the closest bond possible in the Order.

As you see, this ritual required deep mutual trust from both its participants, and here's why: the exchange. of. the lightsabers. I will repeat it once more and even emphasise: THE EXCHANGE. OF. THE LIGHTSABERS.

As Anakin Skywalker said in “The Clone Wars” and Obi-Wan Kenobi said in the “Attack of the Clones”, a lightsaber is a Jedi's life, a thing that one should not part with under any circumstances. And what is the Concordance requiring? Exactly this. Giving away your lightsaber. A voluntary action of entrusting your saber, a product of your own hands, a part of yourself, to another sentient. This act of trust can have a very deep meaning, deep subtext to it, if you want it to.

I’m not saying the Concordance has a romantic subtext to it in general, no - but once again, I’m insisting that if someone wanted it to have a romantic subtext, he had the full freedom to pull a hecking legal jedi WEDDING under the cover story of this ritual. Why a wedding? Let’s dig a bit more in the comic page above. How it is depicted, such an exchange of the lightsabers looks suspiciously similar to the exchange of the wedding rings between the spouses. So making a guess that probably by engaging in the Concordance Mace and Eeth tried to pull off a legal wedding within the walls of the Temple in this disguised way seems like a fairly logical assumption. In addition, given that this ritual is stated to be very ancient and therefore long-forgotten, it is not surprising that a very bold plan like that in fact worked right in front of Yoda’s salad.

In addition, you should pay attention to the form in which these vows of the Concordance sound. Especially this "until one or both of us becomes One with the Force." line. Very very much like the real wedding vows that spouses say before the altar, huh?))) (For example, I’ll leave this link to the site with some sample wedding vows)

Besides, the fact that Mace had made actual EFFORT to find this Concordance ritual is so priceless by itself. However, here I tend to think that it was master T'ra Saa who suggested to Mace to search for the ritual and its details, and here are the reasons why. Master Saa: 1) was in the age of about a thousand of years by the time of TPM because of being a neti (i.e. realistically could be the only one in the Order left who could have remembered this Concordance of Fealty) 2) had her own experience of a romantic relationship, with master Tholme (i.e. she understood the issue of new feelings born between the two Jedi more than the most) 3) T'ra looked after Mace a lot when he was young, so she was literally his mother figure, and  to whom can a poor confused with his romantic feelings jedi master go, if not to his tree mom? :З

Shatterpoint (novel) — M. Stover

Here I want to go back to what I said about “the lightsaber is part of the Jedi.” In Stover's novel, there is an episode where Mace looks at Depa Billaba's saber and speculates about whether she could have given it to Nick Rostu voluntarily.

Mace is mentioning the Concordance of Fealty in this novel too!

The curious thing is that Mace asks “Would she give away part of herself?" So, firstly, by this he is confirming that the Concordance implies exactly this act of mutual trust (what I talked about in the previous part), and secondly, he is hinting that since he did perform this ritual with Eeth Koth, it means that he, Mace Windu, willingly entrusted a part of himself to the hands of the zabrak. (and this is HIS interpretation of what the Concordance means to HIM) Isn't that an act of true love?)

Jedi Council: Acts of War, Part 3

Here is a peculiar moment in the comic - when the two groups of the Jedi join together in the final battle to confront the enemy yinchorri army, both Mace and Eeth separate each other's names from the rest of the group when talking about several fellow Jedi at once. And if Eeth can have a reason for this, because Mace was the leader of this whole mission in the first place, Mace himself still doesn’t have any rational reasons to underline exactly Eeth’s name (and in the background of the second frame you can see that the first one to run in the battlefield is also not Eeth, which excludes the possibility of identifying Koth as just running the first).

What I want to say by this is that they just subconsciously separate each other's names, because their first thoughts, of course, focus on their dear beloved, and only then they add “and others”. Also I want to say that consider that MASTER MACE WINDU, the man of the “less talking, more doing” standarts, in the middle of the battle actually FOUND some time to stop and ask how his dear Eeth is doing.

Republic 65: Show of Force, Part 1

In this comic there is not an interaction, but a hint, but even if it's not the most obvious and outstanding, it is still worth mentioning.

Mace returns T'ra her lightsaber, which she lost during the previous battle, and a curious dialogue happens between them.

Master Saa says that the saber is just a tool that one shouldn’t get attached to. And that Mace SHOULD know that. Personally, I see this here as a direct reference to the Concordance of Fealty (which by the time of this comic has been already completed ten years earlier), and as a confirmation that T'ra Saa knows about the nature of the relationship between master Windu and master Koth.

What I think Mace’s tree mom is saying between the lines here: “you shouldn't get attached to a lightsaber. You once owned Eeth Koth’s saber, Mace, so you understand that by "lightsaber" I mean Eeth Koth himself. And you remember that attachments are still forbidden in the Jedi Order, so be careful there with your little horned husband, son."

Given that the events of this comic take place during the Clone Wars, this means that there has already happened the battle on the Petranaki Arena on Geonosis, where Eeth’s LAAT/i exploded in front of Mace’s eyes. ( This thing blowing up in aotc is the LAAT/i on which were Eeth Koth, Sora Bulq and Tarados Gon )

And perhaps he did spend too much time near the zabrak’s bacta tank afterwards and it gave birth to some rumors or concerns - and that is what T'ra Saa hints at. (also, the timeline of this comic is listed as 21 bby, which does not exclude the possibility of also the battle of Korriban already happened, where Eeth nearly died again, and even the torture of Eeth in Grievous’s hands too, which only gives Mace more reasons to go over his usual reserved boundaries in his wish to comfort and protect his beloved)

Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones

A very interesting thing is in one of the deleted scenes of " Attack of the Clones”. And yes, another hint, but wait, some more interaction are coming later. And for now... I'm of course talking about this scene of the conversation between Mace Windu and Obi-Wan Kenobi before the latter's departure to Kamino. In this scene, Kenobi expresses his concern that Anakin has a strong attachment to the senator from Naboo, and this attachment may cause some troubles for him when serving his duty as a Jedi and as her guardian. And let’s try to think about the reaction of Windu himself to this statement and how we can interpretate it: 1) He is not surprised by the news on Anakin's attachment, and accepts it very calmly. 2) In this scene, it is actually Windu who calms down panicking Obi-Wan with the words "you must believe that he will make the right choice”, and not vice versa.

What can this mean?

This can mean that Mace is not only not at all shocked by Skywalker's forbidden attachment, but on the contrary, supports Anakin and gives him a chance to make the right choice. I mean, Mace doesn't judge Anakin, Mace sympathizes with the young man in love and he trusts him. It’s a fair assumption that Windu himself most likely has an experience of such a situation, to which he compares the Skywalker’s issue and makes his conclusion, isn’t it?

To sum up? In this scene, Windu may be probably recalling his own special bond with _someone_, and, drawing from it the conclusion that a Jedi CAN perfectly fulfil his duties even if he has romantic feelings, advises Obi-Wan to trust his padawan with this.

Grievous Intrigue  — Star Wars: the Clone Wars 2x09

A small, but very a cute detail: in the episode when a hologram is shown to the Jedi Council, on which general Grievous tortures Eeth Koth and promises the zabrak jedi master "endless suffering” Mace Windu clenches his fists in the background.

And how much was said about the Jedi acceptance, the fortitude, the “letting go of emotions in the Force”… But what acceptance could be here when your small tender husband is being cruelly tortured with the electrostaff???

Before the holotransmition / / after the holotransmition

Star Wars: Zam Wesell

Here is a moment I spotted in this comics: when masters Rancisis and Koth both speak up during a Council meeting, Eeth is the first one Mace answers to. I know that this can seem a little bit weak as an argument but add to this THAT stare Koth gives Windu when applying for being the Alderaan guard.

Yes, exactly. THAT kind of stare right here ( ͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ ° )

I mean, seriously, man, stop flirting with your Master of the Order husband right in the middle of the meeting! We know that on Alderaan they make one of the best sorts of wine in the whole galaxy, and you want to offer a date, but calm down a bit please, okay? You don’t want to get caught, right?)))

Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace

No, well, but there is no excuse for the fact that in the background during the scene of the Council meeting before sending Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi to Naboo as an escort for queen Amidala, Eeth is sitting in exactly the same way in which you could see Windu sitting himself on some of the TPM photos. That's all, that’s like the final proof that Eeth is a stupid husband and in love with his partner. Because one of the forms of love language? Yes, the one with interest copying, when a person is copying the gestures, the stature and the movements of whom he’s interested in, u-hum.

Eeth really have no, NO excuse for that, I swear

Bonus: The seats on the High Council

As one very wise person on twitter had once said,

This person was referring to Plo Koon and Kit Fisto tho, but I tell you what, this also applies very much to Mace Windu and Eeth Koth.  So here is Mace and Eeth on the Council staring at each other after a holotransmition!

[ecoamerica]

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[peppersonironi]

Batfam/Avengers Crossover Chapter Five: The Assassins’ Bond

Tagging: @the-fair-maiden-of-fandom

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Category: Gen

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types

Relationships: Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Natasha Romanov & Damian Wayne, Clint Barton & Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tim Drake & Duke Thomas, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Dick Grayson/Wally West, Roy Harper/Koriand'r/Jason Todd,

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Barbara Gordon, Justice League (DCU), Alfred Pennyworth, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Thor (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Peter Parker, Alfred the Cat (DCU), Bat-Cow (DCU), Goliath (DCU), Selina Kyle’s Cat Isis, Kate Kane (DCU), Duke Thomas,

Additional Tags: Batbrothers (DCU), Avengers Meet The Batfam, MCU/Batfam crossover, Crossover, no beta we die like robins, rated T for Jason’s language, I bleeped it out though. Just to be safe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, canon? What’s canon?, Deaf Clint Barton,Deaf Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Happy Batfamily (DCU), Birdflash and joyfire are implied/referenced,

Summary: Nat sets out on her assignment to gather information about the bats, and ends up talking with Damian.

Natasha couldn’t seem to find anyone to investigate, which was weird. Usually, when she wanted to find someone, she did.  Nat hadn’t seen any of the other Avengers either, which was also strange.

So Natasha wandered the halls of the manor. She had already checked the Cave, though it was also empty.

After half an hour, Natasha turned to the gardens. She wasn’t really searching at that point, only enjoying the early afternoon breeze. But soon enough, she heard sounds of laughter.

Following it, Natsha wound through a shaded path to find a large lawn occupied by the bats, as well as Peter, Banner, and Thor.

They were in the middle of what seemed to be an extreme version of capture the flag. Nat looked for someone to talk too, but they were all invested in the game. Then she noticed Damian on the sidelines, inside a clearly marked square that must have been the ‘prison’. He looked angry, and seemed to be passing the time by doing drills with his katana. Once again, Natasha was struck by how precise he was.

"Hey kid."

Damian glanced at Natasha, clearly suspicious.

"Hello Romanoff, do you want something?''

Nat smiled. “Call me Natasha. And no, not really. You looked bored, so I thought I’d offer you some company.”

Damian scoffed and returned to his drills. Natasha sat down, and was soon joined by a large dog whom she had never seen before. "Is that your dog?" She asked.

Damian nodded stiffly. "Yes his name is Titus."

Nat looked at Titus with gentle eyes. "Hi Titus." She reached out her hand for the dog to sniff. Titus obliged, and then began to nussle  her hand, quickly warming up to Nat.

Damian’s whole demeanor changed at the sight. He relaxed significantly, and even had a soft smile on his face. “He likes you," Damian said as he set his katana aside and joined Natasha on the grass.

Nat smiled right back at him as she began to pet Titus. "Titus is a great name for him. Latin right?" Damian nodded. "You know the meaning?"

Damian scoffed. "If I didn't then I wouldn't have named him Titus. An honorable dog deserves a name that literally means `title of honor’."

Nat chuckled, surprising even herself. "I like you kid, you've got spunk.” She nodded over at the now abandoned katana. Time to see what she could get out of him. “And your fighting technique is impressive."

Damian’s face became a mixture of guarded and prideful. "Of course it is, I was trained to be the best."

"Well your father sure does a good job."

Damian pursed his lips and remained silent for a moment before replying. "He didn't train me. I … was trained by my mother."

Nat looked over at him softly. “The one that Jason blames for him killing?”

Damian scowled. “Yes. My mother is responsible for bringing my brother back from the dead using the Lazarus pit which is … not quite magic. The pit induces its user with enhanced aggression, and memory loss which she utilized to manipulate Todd to her will.”

Natasha sat still for a moment. She really didn’t know what to think. On the one hand, that did partially explain Jason’s references to murder. On the other hand … the woman sounded horrible.

“Why would she do that?” Nat asked quietly.

Damian stroked Titus for a long moment before replying. “My mother is part of a group called The League of Assassins - led by my grandfather - that is dedicated to … saving the world.”

Natasha almost raised an eyebrow at that. Assassins and world-savers really didn’t seem like they would go together well.

“Not like you saved the world,” Damian continued, “But through brutal, unforgiving justice. They wish to reform civilizations across the world into total submission to my grandfather.

“So my mother took it upon herself to take in a newly raised from the dead Jason Todd, train him, and set him upon Gotham. Her point to it all was to harm my father, who is very much against League ideals.”

There was a sudden shout of triumph from the game, and the pair looked over at Tim crowing over a downed Peter Parker. They were silent for a long time, watching the game play out. Finally, Nat took it upon herself to speak.

“I never knew my parents. I grew up in a top secret Soviet-Russian training facility designed to create the perfect operatives, or assassins.” She took a breath as she looked over at Damian.

The boy had shed his smirks and scowls. His eyes were wide and innocent. There was a quality of quiet hope in his face. Like he was amazed that someone else could understand him.

“You’re like me,” he whispered. Then raised his voice slightly. “I was trained from birth. Mother and grandfather wanted me to be the heir. The perfect heir. I was taught every conceivable way to kill, to torture, to withstand any injury.” Damian was no longer looking at Natasha. His eyes showed that he was in another place. Another time.

“We were chained to the bed at night to prevent escape,” Natasha replied. “Sometimes they would make us fight to the death. To weed out the unworthy.”

“Weakness was not tolerated. The moment I made a mistake I was punished. I was to take it willingly.”

“When we trained with guns, they gave us real people to use as targets.”

“Emotions were a liability. I was to never show any, I was never to trust anyone. Not my trainors, not my servants, especially not my own mother.”

“We weren’t to trust each other either. Sometimes they would randomly order to kill your friends, and you had to. Otherwise you were killed.”

Damian sighed. “The worst part was leaving. Mother dumped me with Father - for training she said. I was to learn what I could from him. And I did, I learned a lot. But not what she wanted me to.” He looked over wistfully at his family. “I learned to trust. I had to believe I wasn’t invulnerable. I … I had to learn what it felt like to be … wanted .”

Natasha nodded at him, though he wasn’t looking at her. “Clint was sent to kill me, after I had been an operative for a while. I was the best, so people began to take notice. So S.H.I.E.L.D. sent Barton to eliminate me. But when he found me, he didn’t. He … had mercy on me. Something I had never known. He recruited me. I worked with him, and S.H.I.E.L.D. to help people instead of killing them. I had to relearn almost everything.”

They sit in a comfortable silence for a while. Neither bothering to pity the other. Just enjoying the companionship of another like them.

Then Nat spoke up again. "I'm not good with …" Natasha paused trying to find the right words. "Comfort. But, I understand"

Damian looked at her, then nodded. “I understand as well.”

They sat together for a while, looking at the game progressing. They talked about their lives, and even started to explain their families as well. Damian talked briefly about Bruce’s tragic childhood experiences, as well as Dick’s. He went into detail of Jason’s death and then resurrection. Tim’s becoming Robin. His neglectful family. Damian explained Cassandra���s past, and how Duke lost his parents. He mentioned Stephanie and Barbara, and how they joined the vigilante life as well. He didn’t go into detail, though, saying that their stories were not his to tell.

In return, Natasha talked about befriending Clint. How Steve became Captain America. How Tony built his suit. Banner’s experiments, and how he became the Hulk. How Thor found himself on Earth. What she knew of Peter, and how he became Spiderman.

“Do you trust me?” Damian asked, looking over at Nat when she had finished speaking.

Natasha smiled. “Yes. I’m assuming that’s what your goal was?”

Damian had the nerve to not look apologetic. “We may or may not have overheard your entire conversation after lunch.”

Nat nodded, she had figured as much. The Boy had been almost a bit too loose lipped in the beginning. But she could tell that as the conversation went on, he spoke freely because he wanted to, and not because he was trying to supply info.

“Did you draw the short straw?” Natasha asked.

Damian scowled. “T-t, no. Father said that if any of you were to question us or our motives, we should hold nothing back. You had the nerve to approach me first.”

Natasha laughed freely and ruffled the boy’s hair. He frowned, but didn’t push her hand away.

“Do you trust me now?” He asked, tentatively.

Natasha paused and tilted her head. “Yes, I think I do. You didn’t lie to me, I know that.” Damian rolled his eyes, and Natasha smirked a bit. “But also, you and I are similar. I don’t think I could distrust you if I tried.”

Damian nodded, seemingly satisfied. “Good, I would not want to disappoint Father.”

Natasha smiled. “I don’t think he would be disappointed if I didn’t trust you. He seems quite reasonable.”

Damian outright snorted. “Say that again when I have a slight cold and he won’t let me on patrol. He can be quite unreasonable in mother-hen mode. Not unlike Grayson, unfortunately.”

Nat chuckled. “He loves you. That’s important.” There was another shout of victory from the field, then Natasha continued. “What about me? Trust goes both ways, you know.”

Damian frowned in concentration. “Yes, I believe you have earned some trust. I don’t know about Stark though, he seems … unstable.”

Natasha couldn’t help but outright laugh at that statement. After a moment of surprise, Damian joined in.

“That,” Natasha said between huge gasps of laughter, “Is by far the best thing I have heard in a long time.”

“Do you deny it?” Damian asked.

Natasha was almost crying from laughter. “No, not in a million years.”

Damian smiled at Nat. “Thank you, Romanoff. For talking. I believe you will make a valuable ally.”

“Call me Natasha, kid. Or Nat. Or Tasha. I don’t care. But not Romanoff. Friends aren’t so formal.”

Damian furrowed his brows for a moment before relaxing. “Very well, Tasha. We are now friends?”

Natasha smiled at Damian. “If you want to be.”

The boy pet Titus for a few thoughtful moments. “Very well. I accept. Together, we shall be a formidable force.”

Nat chuckled, ruffling the kid’s hair once again. This time, he didn’t bother frowning.

Just then, a voice called from the field. They both looked over to find Dick running up to them. “Dami! I’m so sorry! I thought someone had gotten you out! Well, the game’s over. Want to join in the next round?”

“T-t. Of course you forgot. If this had been in the field, I could have been killed by now.”

Dick smiled easily at his little brother. “So, what do you say?”

Damian glanced at Nat before replying. “Very well, I shall partake once again in your childish games, Grayson.” Then he smirked. “But I demand that Tasha be on my team. Since you are clearly untrustworthy.”

Dick looked curiously over at Natasha, a small smile on his face. “Sure Lil’ D. Let’s go.”

He motioned for the pair to follow him, then turned and ran off back toward the field.

Damian looked over at Nat. “You will be on my team?” He looked like he was trying to hide how hopeful he was.

Natasha got up and offered her hand to Damian. “Together, we shall be a formidable force, right?”

Damian grinned at her and accepted her hand. “Our reign of terror shall be legendary.”

[ryukyuan-sunflower]

Mugen: The Embodiment of Shintoism’s Redemptive Delinquent, Susanoo-no-Mikoto

Before I get into this Samurai Champloo analysis, I first want to make this clear that this is all interpretations I have made. There’s no actual direct information about the Shinto stuff (that I’ve seen), but I found a lot of parallels. There’s also a lot of variations in Shinto myth! So you may find some different but similar details.

To begin, one would at first think Mugen would be a representation of Amaterasu, Kami of the Sun, because of his association with red, fire, the sun, and the rooster in his title image. (Rooster’s represent the dawn and they were used to lure out Amaterasu from a cave). And in contrast, Jin would be associated with Susanoo, God of the Ocean and Storms, because of his association with water, and the aquatic fish in his title image. However, based on everything I am about to list, it is the exact opposite. Mugen and Jin are supposed to be like Yin and Yang, their elements canceling each other out. However, the two do possess traits of one another. For Mugen, it’s Jin’s samurai honor and morality. For Jin, he has Mugen’s stubbornness to not follow those he considers unworthy.

Mugen and Susanoo’s Personalities

Susanoo in his earliest myths, is seen in an extremely negative light. He is violent, rude, wild, arrogant, and loathed by the other Kami for his impulsive actions. In particular, his older sibling Amaterasu despises him. She by comparison, is benevolent and calm. He is the embodiment of chaos in stark contrast to his sister who represents “the balance of the universe”. Susanoo’s appearance is also supposed to be disheveled.

Susanoo, along with his two siblings, were born after his father Izanagi cleansed his face, after visiting the polluted underworld known as Yomi.

But...while Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi were born from Izanagi’s eyes, Susanoo was born from Izanagi’s nose last. The Kami believe that Susanoo had already absorbed some of the impurities of the underworld, and was tainted at birth.

This idea of being “lesser” fits very much in how Mugen is treated by society. The Ryukyuan people were heavily subjugated and experienced severe discrimination by the Japanese.

Ocean And Storms Symbolism

Susanoo is most notably the Kami of the Ocean, Storms (particularly rainfall) and Harvest (also because of rainfall). Later though, he ends up becoming the Kami associated with Love and Marriage. This will be explained further later.

Mugen has a heavy affiliation with the ocean, because of his previous occupation as a pirate and being born and raised in the penal colony island known as Taramashima which is near Miyakoshima in the Ryukyus. It’s the circular island on the bottom left, below.

We know Mugen is from here because the black figures that try to send him to the afterlife are known as Paantu. Paantu are deities from a Miyako Island festival that cast out evil spirits by throwing sacred mud on houses and people. In addition, Taramashima was used as a penal colony for Ryukyuan criminals during this time period, and is affiliated with Miyakoshima since it is so close by.

Also, in one of his most defining moments, he swims and emerges from the ocean in episode 25 to save Fuu.

More interestingly, Mugen is definitely associated with storms and typhoons (heavy tropic storm).

The Ryukyuan Islands have a long association with typhoons, because they were so common there throughout history, causing much damage and famine. In World War II, the Battle of Okinawa, known as the bloodiest Pacific battle, was called “The Typhoon of Steel”. In 1972, Okinawa made the flower of the coral tree or the “deigo”, their prefectural flower. 

These flowers can be seen in episode 14, during Mugen’s flashback.

What is interesting...is deigo flowers are a symbol of disaster or catastrophe, namely typhoons. There is an Okinawan belief that the more deigo flowers bloom, the more typhoons there will be. In this episode, which is all about Mugen’s past, we are given double symbolism of the ocean and storms, when he nearly drowns during a severe rainstorm.

In addition, while Mugen’s sword is never named in the anime or manga, his blade is called “Typhoon Swell” in the Samurai Champloo: Sidetracked PS2 video game.

Fall From Grace and Rivalry with Amaterasu

Because of Susanoo’s bad attitude, chaotic personality, and destructive nature, Izanagi, chief of the Gods deemed Susanoo unworthy to live in the Heavens. So he was banished.

Accepting his fate, Susanoo decided to visit his sister Amaterasu before his departure, who had long been his rival that he fought with often.This is largely because Amaterasu as Izanagi’s first child, had divine right to rule, while Susanoo was the youngest and was believed to have impurities. Their rivalry is a symbolism of sunshine versus rain. Both are needed for the harvest, but too much of either causes famine. 

This sounds a lot like Mugen and Jin, who cancel each other out.

When Susanoo went to see Amaterasu, the lands shook, and Amaterasu grew suspicious he was causing trouble, so she met him dressed in men’s clothing and in armor. To prove he had good intentions in saying farewell, Susanoo challenged her to a contest of who could create the most gods, in order to prove his sincerity.

Amaterasu took his sword, and broke it, forming three male kami. Susano took her necklace and broke it, forming 5 female kami from the magatama beads. There’s some variations to who exactly won. One says that Susano raged happily since he made more. Another says Amaterasu used trickery, and told him that the 5 female goddesses belonged to her, since they were made from her necklace and the 3 male gods were his since they came from his broken sword. This then infuriated him.

This is similar to how Mugen and Jin broke each other’s swords in episode 26, and neither really won.

Either way, Susanoo went wild, either from rage or pride and committed several heinous deeds, namely destroying Amaterasu’s rice fields and defecating in her palace. He also flayed and killed a holy horse and threw it at Amaterasu’s holy loom, which killed one of her servants.

The holy horse seems to be important to me.

Mugen’s last antagonist of the series are the three Satsuma brothers. In particular, Umanousuke is his biggest enemy who had kidnapped Fuu, tied her to a cross, and brutally tortured Mugen after he gave up his sword to free her. I am no expert, but from what I can gather, “nousuke” in a name, means second in command beneath a lord. And “Uma” means “horse”.

After his belligerent acts, Susanoo was then thrown from the Heavens to inhabit the earthly plane, which is considered to be Japan. Similarly, after Mugen’s pirating in Satsuma, that negatively impacted Umanousuke and his brothers, Mugen finally made it to Japan.

Susanoo and Mugen’s Redemption: Saving a Woman

Despite having been seen as a wild and evil God, there is one story that redeems him, showing him as heroic, and also allows him to reconcile with his sibling.

After Susanoo was cast out of the Heavens, he walked the lands of Japan. This is similar to Mugen being shunned by society for his astigmatism of his prison tattoos, as well as being an illegal alien in Japan, since he hails from the Ryukyuan Kingdom, which at this time period, is in a very complicated relationship between China and Japan.

It is while Susanoo is in the land of man, that he for the first time, is shown actually caring for another person: a young girl.

In his travels, he meets a sorrowful, elderly man and woman who are weeping over their daughter. Susanoo curiously asks why they are crying. 

They tell him that they have lost seven of their daughters to a sea serpent named Yamata-no-Orochi (8 forked serpent) who has devoured them year after year. Now, it is time for the sea serpent to devour their last and youngest daughter: Kushinadahime.

In an uncharacteristic act of sympathy, Susanoo offers to help them. He tells the old couple to give him their daughter so he can protect her. 

Upon entering the teahouse of episode 1, which was owned by an elderly couple...Mugen meets Fuu for the first time and saves her.

Susanoo transforms Kushinadahime into a small comb and hides her in his hair so that the serpent can not find her. Then, he goes off to kill the giant snake. He gets the serpent drunk off of very strong sake, and slays it.

From the serpent’s tail, Susanoo acquires the Ame-no-Murakumo-no-Tsurugi (the sword of gathering clouds). This sword has come to represent virtue.

After saving the girl, Susanoo asks her father for the girl’s hand in marriage. And then, after this, it would seem his new wife had tamed his tumultuous heart. She becomes venerated as the Kami of Rice and bears his 5 children. Many temples and festivals honor them together to this very day!

It is after this point, that Susanoo is no longer seen merely as the violent, antagonistic god of storms. He also becomes venerated as the God of Love and Marriage because of his heroism and love for the girl he saved.

A violent, belligerent sinful killer who falls from grace...who is redeemed by protecting a woman and becoming a hero...

You probably see where I’m going with this. Mugen and Fuu are heavily implied to have a subtle romance in the series. But if you’re confused by this and need sufficient evidence, please let me know and I’ll provide my many posts that explain it in detail. I will merely bring up one scene here, in order to tie Mugen’s connection with Susanoo, who has become the God of Love.

In episode 21, Sara tells Mugen “Powerful hatred and rage swirl within you. I cannot tell if it is sadness. It is as if you have never once been loved.”

When Mugen falls to the ground, and Sara readies her blade to kill him, Fuu jumps across his body to shield him from Sara, and begs her not to kill him. In this moment, Sara gasps, and spares Mugen’s life. In this moment, she realizes she was wrong. There is one person who does love him, enough to put her own life at risk.

This is very similar to Susanoo. Up until the point of saving Kushinadahime, he was hated by all the Gods, including his own family. But when he saved her life, she married him, implying her appreciation and love for him.

“In Search of New Lands, I Build a New House”

Immediately after marrying Kushidahime, the lovers travel around Izumi before they can find a suitable place to live. Upon arriving in Suga, Susanoo happily states "Coming to this place, my heart is refreshed.” and then built a lovely palace for him and his wife. Upon its completion, Susanoo composed a song.

The many-fenced palace of IDUMO:

“Of the many clouds rising— To dwell there with my spouse Do I build a many-fenced palace

Ah, that many-fenced palace!”

In Episode 14, during Mugen’s flashbacks, a folk song called “Obokeuri Eeumi” plays. Because it is possibly Ryukyuan (or from Kyushu) , and also deals heavily with poverty, and being unable to sustain one’s family, it is safe to say the perspective could be Mugen’s. It is especially important that the very last image he sees when the last lyric of the song plays is Fuu’s face. This last lyric is about the narrator’s lover.

Obokeuri Eeumi (Obtain Our Bearings):

In search of new lands, I build a new house I thatch the house with reed stalks, gathered neatly in bundles. I thatch the house with reed stalks, gathered neatly in bundles. At the stone wall, let us celebrate the golden house, that was built by a hundred carpenters. At the stone wall, let us celebrate the golden house, that was built by a hundred carpenters. Let us celebrate the golden house, that was built by a hundred carpenters.  August is fast approaching, and yet I have nothing to wear I want to dress up, so brother, will you lend me just one sleeve? I wish to dress my children and loved ones… in the one kimono that I own. As for me, I will wear vines… that I plucked deep in the mountains. The light of the harvest moon shines down, illuminating the world with its divine light. When my lover sneaks in to visit me, I wish that the clouds would hide that light just a little.

Both songs are about building a house to live in with one’s loved ones, with a mention of encroaching clouds. Because Susanoo composed his song, and Obokeuri Eeumi specifically plays for Mugen’s near death experience, these songs are reflections of their characters.

Making Amends With the Rival

At some point, before or after building his home, he visits Amaterasu, his long time rival, and offers his sister the sword he acquired from killing the snake, so that the two may finally reconcile. This sword makes up the three Imperial Regalia, along with the Yata no Kagami mirror and the jewel Yasakani no Magatama.  After this moment, Amaterasu and Susanoo are no longer bitter enemies, and finally accept one another as siblings.

On the same journey of redemption that Mugen took, in which he saved Fuu time and time again, by the end, Mugen was able to reconcile with his longtime rival, Jin.

More Minor Amaterasu and Jin Symbolisms

It is from Amaterasu that all Japanese emperors claim descent. For that reason, she is the embodiment of the Japanese people. I think this is very similar to Jin, who is a representation of the ideal Japanese samurai with all of its virtues.

When Amaterasu fled from the heavens because of Susanoo’s many insults, the world became a dark and stormy place, because there was no longer any sun. Amaterasu did not want to leave the cave as she grieved for the servant Susanoo had killed. Though it might be reaching, I saw this very comparable to episode 11 of Samurai Champloo, where the trio were stranded in Hamamatsu with perpetual rain. Here, Jin states “I hope that the rain will never stop. Then, I can stay here forever.” when in reference to staying with Shino.

Amaterasu was also insulted by her husband Tsukuyomi for killing her friend, the Kami of Food, and thus never saw him again. This is a representation of the Day and Night cycle, since Tsukuyomi is the Kami of the Moon. I found this similar to Jin having to part from Shino for three years because of her stay at the Divorce Temple. In addition to that, he met with her at night when he purchased her at the brothel. But when the morning came, she told him it was “time for the fairytale to come to an end.” 

When Jin parts ways with Shino, the bridge they met on is shown one last time. Except this time, there is no more rain. There is only sunlight. 

This is a representation that he must continue on his own journey for the samurai who smells of SUNflowers, for it is his duty, just as Amaterasu reluctantly left her cave at the behest of the other Gods...because it was her responsibility to have the sun rise in the sky again.

In conclusion

Mugen and Susanoo were both hated and considered evil. Both were outcasts. But their chivalrous actions in saving a young girl they cared about redeemed them.

Mugen and Susanoo both had a rival that was their polar opposite, but in the end, the two were able to reconcile and value one another.

(And I found another excuse to ship Fuugen.) 

[dandelionflower]

She Sits Alone

Based off of the haunted mansion AU by @miraculous-of-salt

——————

Marinette was on the bus to the Culpa Mansion and she was sitting alone.

Normally she would feel hurt, but this was nothing new. She sat alone in class, she sat alone on the plane to the US, she was sitting alone on the bus now. She just felt numb by now. So numb she was barely excited for the mansion.

The Culpa Mansion. Marinette could babble about the history of the Culpa Mansion for hours.

~~~

Once the home of the businessman Garfield Culpa, it was a refuge for injured soldiers. One such person was Abigail Laurens, a nurse who got injured when an explosion hit her base. She critiqued his process and he fell in love.

Years after, their daughter Harriet Culpa met Darrian Poll. They were in third grade. He pulled her hair and she chased him around the playground.

They lost contact after high school and reconnected after college. She was a pro wrestler and he was a librarian. They got married as Harriet and Darrian Culpa. (She insisted on keeping her last name.)

Their son Micheal Culpa married Wenda Delair. They were unable to have children and assumed their bloodline would die with them until they saw a young girl rummaging in their trash can. They instantly adopted Rosemary and began training her in watercolor.

Usually, Marinette would be cut off from talking now and she would recite the rest to herself.

Rosemary never married and opened her home to any starving or homeless artist who couldn’t get on their feet. She passed the Culpa mantle to one of the more present artists, Denise.

Denise never married, though she had plenty lovers. She continued the tradition of housing the starving and homeless but allowed them to be employed in the manor as cooks, maids, gardeners, and security. She eventually gave birth to a son, Felix Culpa.

Felix had nearly every trait of the Culpa family, despite not being blood related to any of them. He was caring and cynical, like Garfield and Abigail. He was physically able and a bookworm like Harriet and Darrian. He was a lover of the arts like Micheal, Wenda, and Rosemary, and he was suspicious of the existence of love like his mother.

He became suspicious no longer when he met Bridgette Chang, the designer child of an author and illustrator pair. She designed all of Denise’s favorite gowns and was commissioned for Felix’s first suit. She struck up a conversation about his favorite novel and they became fast friends.

Soon, they fell in love and they were inseparable until Felix left for college. Even then, they were the only thing on each other’s mind. Felix wrote daily letters to Bridgette and whenever she didn’t read them, she was weeping in the private room Felix gave her.

The minute he returned, he proposed. They were set to be married, if not for one tiny detail.

Delila Ross.

She was a fellow member of Felix’s college and was obsessed with him. She almost got her hooks into him when she used a love spell. Luckily, Felix knew some witchcraft of his own and was able to fight it off. She disappeared soon after.

However, the day of the wedding, she returned to kill Bridgette. Felix warned all of the staff against her and threatened them with extreme punishment. She came in and, assisted by the staff, stabbed Bridgette through the heart with her favorite flower pin.

Theorists say Felix went insane, but Marinette didn’t believe that part. He allegedly killed every member of the staff that allowed Delila to enter the mansion and soon he died himself. Legend has it that he roams the halls of the mansion, now a hotel, in search of the reincarnated soul of his loved one and when he found her, he would have the power to return from the dead and be with her until the end of his days.

~~~

Before she met Adrien, Marinette had fantasied about being the reincarnation of Bridgette, after all, Chang and Cheng were very similar. However, now she had met Adrien and was dating him.

Speaking of, Marinette checked her phone. Sure enough, there was a text from her boyfriend.

Sunshine 😍: Hey sorry bout not sitting w/ u 😰

Sunshine 😍: It would have seemed rude if I turned lila down

Princess 💞: It’s fine! I totally get it.

No, she didn’t get it! She was Adrien’s girlfriend and he still managed to make Lila a priority over her. And not just Lila either, Marinette knew Adrien thought she didn’t notice the stars in his eyes whenever Ladybug was mentioned. How touchy he would get with other models during a shoot.

Marinette growled and pulled out the vest she was embroidering. Half was black with small white snowflakes and the other half was pink with little flowers. It was based off of Felix and Bridgette’s favorite seasons; spring and winter. She had already made a strictly Felix themed outfit for the trip and a Bridgette themed outfit, she wanted to make one based off of the relationship the two had.

After finishing, she took a nap, dreams of swirling snowflakes and a blue eyed cat approaching her filling her mind. She woke up with Adrien sitting next to her, tapping her shoulder.

“Hey, Princess. We’re here.”

She bolted up and pressed her face to the window. “What? I missed it? But I heard such great things about the gardens…”

He laughed and pressed a kiss to her temple. “We’ll find some time to check them out, promise.”

“‘Kay.” She hummed and leaned forward for a proper kiss, before another popped up.

“Hey, Adrien?” Lila. “You mind helping us out back here? We’re stuck on a level of Super Penguino, and I, as an award winning player, need a partner. Would you want to help me out?” She bat her eyes innocently and Marinette felt the all too familiar sense of rage well up inside her.

No, don’t do that again, she reminded herself. You don’t need this, Adrien loves you and he doesn’t want you to get in trouble.

“Sure, Lila! I’m sure Marinette won’t mind.” He pressed another kiss to her temple and went back to Lila’s seat.

Marinette sighed and stared out the window as they finally approached the mansion.

———-

There was a bit of concern over rooming, there was an odd number of students and the teacher surely couldn’t room with anyone. They talked about three in a room, but Lila said she read a study that claimed that three in a room was harmful to sleeping patterns.

“Alya! Want to room with me?”

Alya gave Marinette a sympathetic smile. “Sorry, girl. I told Lila I’d room with her.”

“Oh, alright.” That meant she’d be rooming by herself then. “Have fun.” She sat on the bench again, alone.

She heard a giggle from across the room. “Yeah, I’m definitely the distant relative of Bridgette. Who knows? Maybe I’m his soulmate and Felix will come back from the dead for me.”

“He’s supposed to come back for the reincarnated soul.” Marinette muttered. ��Not the relative.”

“You know that?” A red headed boy in a cap approached her. “No one knows that, Grace and I usually have to tell them a million times. Grace!” He shouted over his shoulder. “Grace! Come over here! This chick knows the Culpa story!”

“Wait, really?” A girl with a two long braids walked over from the reception desk. “No one knows the Culpa story.”

“My parents told me some when I was little, I did some research.”

“Well, the fact that you know it makes you a celebrity to us. I’m Grace, this is Finny. What’s your name, celebrity?”

She grinned. “I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I’m with the school trip from Paris.”

Finny gasped. “You mean you’re, the Marinette Dupain-Cheng? The same Marinette Dupain-Cheng who designed Jagged Stone’s favorite sunglasses, and his album cover?!?!”

“Fin’s a bit of a music nerd.” Grace snorted.

Fin, meanwhile, was patting his pockets down for a pen. “I don’t have a pen! Grace! Can you give me a pen?”

“No, ask her for he autograph later, dork. It’s the middle of the night, she probably wants to get back to her room.”

“Oh, right, sorry.” He rubbed the back of his head. “But I am totally asking for one later.”

Marinette winked. “That’s fine with me.”

“Where are you staying, anyway?”

“Umm, I actually don’t know. There was a room problem.”

“I can handle that.” Grace winked and Marinette noticed her eyes were a beautiful silver. “I’ve got some pull.” She sashayed over to the desk and started scribbling on a piece of paper. Apparently satisfied, she picked up a key and tossed it to Marinette. “Here. It’s the key to Bridgette’s room. A huge honor. Not something we take lightly around here.”

“Thank you! It’s not something I take lightly either.” Then, seeing her class was leaving, she lifted her bag and followed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I hope!”

“We hope so too!” Finny yelled after her.

—————

Marinette hummed to herself as she began unpacking, planning her outfits for each day.

Her Felix themed set for museum day.

Her Bridgette themed set for the art museums.

Her Felix and Bridgette themed one for tour day.

And her ghost themed ones for all the other days.

Satisfied, she turned around and admired the room. It was exactly what she would have wanted. Pink everywhere, a beautiful white lace canopy over the bed, flowers all over the balcony and above the bed there was a portrait of Felix and Bridgette mid-proposal, Felix on one knee.

Marinette snapped a picture of it. Perfect for inspiration.

She texted Adrien a quick goodnight and went to sleep, soon to be struck with the same dreams of the blue eyed cat and the swirling snowflakes.

——————

Meanwhile, a sleek black fox and an orange bee held a meeting in the basement.

You think he knows yet? The bee asked.

I don’t know, Fin. He will once he makes his rounds.

She has to be her. Gracie, her life directly parallels with Bridgette’s. All the way down to the company she keeps.

Speaking of, we need to get everyone locked down and in their punishments for the night before Felix starts his rounds.

Before you do, a white and turquoise turtle crawled into view, we need to have a conversation about the other her.

What about her? Grace asked innocently.

What will we do about the ghosts? If they see her...

They’ll go insane.

Maybe they won’t, Finny suggested, they might just ignore her.

Unlikely. They’re more likely to torment her, which will end on the mansion being quarantined.

They won’t do anything without Felix’s permission, Allegra. Grace rolled her eyes. Which he won’t give until he has his bride.

But, it wouldn’t hurt if we let them scare her a little… Finny landed on Grace’s head. Would it?

Allegra and Grace smirked, well, as much as a fox and turtle could smirk.

Probably not… Allegra mused

I’ll spread the word when I lock up my section. See ya, Allegra.

As the bee and the fox climbed out of the basement, unnoticed in the empty halls, thunder cracked and a red headed boy, paired with a raven haired girl strolled the mansion, unaffected by the ghoulish shrieks of horror that followed them.

—

The rest

[stillness-in-green]

MLAWeek Coda: The Lore Post

Sorry this is a few days late!  To the surprise of absolutely no one who has read some of my longer meta posts, I just don’t know how to shut the F up.  (Spoilers: this post is only a few hundred words away from being as long as everything else I wrote for the week put together.)  

Anyway, hit the jump for, in order:

A quick breakdown of the Liberation Army’s general structure.

A list of members, broken down by broad generation, including the ones we have gotten explicitly IDed in canon, the ones I based on figures we see in canon, and the ones I completely made up.

The basic tenets of the MLA and some discussion about their views on quirk supremacy. (feat. fandom salt)

An overview of the way the Advent shook up the political landscape in Japan and the Hearts & Minds Party’s place in that landscape.  Pretty much the same material Trumpet’s victory speech from Day 4 covers, but modestly more in-depth, removed from the need to play well to a crowd, and with some added explanation about the structure of the Diet for readers who are less familiar with it than Trumpet’s audience would be.

A timeline (with only moderately arbitrary dates!) covering the birth of the glowing baby up to the first year of the manga.  Mostly concerned with detailing the events the MLA would care about, but with a few other points of reference to contextualize things for the rest of us.

Bonus Fun Facts: discussion of the considerations that went into the timeline, a look at All For One’s actions re: the MLA, and some miscellaneous blurbs on terminology, worldbuilding and characterization.

A smattering of asides in the form of footnotes.

Note that while this material is based in and accurate to canon as much as I could remember at the time that I was doing my notes on my fills for the week, there’s a lot in here that is based entirely on supposition, interpretation and, at times, just plain-old guessing.  

Thanks to @codenamesazanka and @robotlesbianjavert for their assistance in naming, brainstorming, and just generally putting up with me while the Liberation Army was completely devouring my attention.

@red-the-omnic Somewhat belatedly, here’s that list of MLA members you asked for back during the middle of the week.  Sorry to make you wait so long! 

Enjoy!  

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ORGANIZATION

Grand Commander: Destro and Destro’s line of descendants.

The First Families: Those who fought at Destro’s side and escaped to continue the fight, and their descendants.  Veritably all high-ranked within the MLA, their tie to the original incarnation of the Army marks them as elites, whether or not their quirks would do so otherwise. The elders of the First Families do a certain amount of collective decision-making when and if the Grand Commander is unable to do so and has left orders otherwise.

Sanctum: “Sanctum” is a special position in the Army.  The name denotes the person who’s tasked with remembering the MLA’s history, practices and lore—the position is considered contiguous, so even when someone is new to the name, they’re still considered “the longest-serving member of the Liberation Army.”.  When they’re getting on in years, they select an appropriate protégé, to whom the name will pass upon their death/capture.  The name must always go to a member of the First Families (though in truth, they’re only on their third one, so it’s more of a pattern so far than a hard rule).

Commanders & Lieutenants: People in charge of major operations, liberated districts, etc. Frequently, though not always, members of the First Families.  Have discretion over their own assignments, but may not have much influence in the Army’s operations on the whole, depending on who they’re connected to otherwise.

Advisors: This title denotes those who are specifically tapped to give advice and aid to the MLA leadership.  Levels of authority vary depending on who they’re advising.  Advisors of lieutenants, if any, are a step above the rank and file, advisors of commanders are about on par with lieutenants, and advisors to the Grand Commander are considered commanders in their own right, regardless of any other rank they may hold.

Rank and File: Pretty much everyone else.

———–      

KNOWN MEMBERS [1]

The original MLA—

Destro: Yotsubashi Chikara.  Established the Meta Liberation Army in his mid-30s in response to the development of what he felt were overly restrictive laws on the usage of meta-abilities. Having observed evidence that meta-abilities grew stronger generationally, he was particularly concerned that no oppressive laws could be enforced by the generation that established them because the next generation would always be more powerful.  Thus, he believed that establishing the use of meta-abilities as a fundamental right was the only way for society to avoid indefinite intergenerational strife.  He was particularly incensed by the government co-opting the message that got his mother murdered to put a pretty, self-congratulatory sheen on laws that did the exact opposite of what she wished for.  Allegedly committed suicide after some months in prison.  The MLA is highly suspicious of this claim—they’re correct to be, but not for the reasons they think.              His quirk, which his entire line would inherit, turns a key emotion into enhanced strength and resilience in the form of a characteristic ink-blot marking.  While it would develop over time, the basic nature of the quirk remained the same. Chikara’s driving emotion was resolve.

Fathom: Destro’s lover, she dedicated a decade of her life after his capture to building up the survivors he’d left behind.  It’s said her son got his drive from Destro, but his anger from Fathom.  Had a large hand in raising her son to be the sort of man he was, particularly in her decision to commit what many considered to be suicide-by-hero when he was in his teens.  A large part of that choice was wrapped up in her never-fully-assuaged grief over Destro’s loss (and, she believed to the end, his murder), but there was also a cold calculation to it—her making a big show of it would lead the police to believe that her attack was the last gasp of the Liberation Army, ending their investigations into MLA activities.  It would also stoke the fires of her son’s rage, honing him into a stronger weapon against their enemies.  Her judgement in both cases proved broadly on-point, though her death did serve to make her son more cautious than she might have hoped.              Meta-Ability: Antennae.  A pair of insectile feelers emerging from her forehead that give her a passel of sensory boosts, particularly in the taste and smell categories, and which also make her able to detect shifts in the air from quite some distance.)

Cascade: A man whose meta-ability lets him turn body parts into loosely controllable masses of water.  Can’t transform fully.  A quick-thinking type able to make hard calls.

Sweeper: A woman with a radio-scanning quirk.  Caught by police in the same fight as Destro.

Sanctum I: The first bearer of the codename.  Had a protective ability of some sort.

Sanctum II’s father: The same quirk as his daughter; see below.  Known for getting some eight people safely out of a police raid by carrying them all out at once despite not actually having superhuman strength of any kind.  (Probably tore several muscles in the process, but adrenaline is a hell of a thing.)

The Second Generation—

Destro’s son: Raised to deeply resent heroes and the government that put them in place, but he was also very cautious of them.  He was profoundly aware that his death would mean the end of the dream that his father had begun and his mother had cultivated, so he was very meticulous in spreading the MLA’s influence underground, rebuilding their numbers before he even began to consider starting to make attacks again.  Destro’s army had been a guerilla force; his son’s would be something much more dangerous.  His driving emotion was anger, and he had two children before being killed by a cerebral aneurysm at 43.  Was able to use his power to make his body larger.

Sanctum II: A woman with an unusual fondness for the traditional Japanese arts, particularly tea ceremony.  Meta-ability: Stride.  Teleport to any location she can directly see by taking a single step forward.   Can take whoever she can carry under her own power. (First Families lineage)

Anchor: An advisor to Destro’s son.  Prominent bull horns.  Meta-ability: Immobilize.  Similar to Lock Rock’s Lockdown quirk, except it only works on his own body.  Very good at wrestling holds (and holding his breath), he tends to fight with backup that can deliver finishing blows to opponents once he has them pinned down.  (First Families lineage)

The Third Generation—

Yotsubashi Kyouyuki: The elder child of Destro’s son.  Deemed an unsuitable Grand Commander for his driving emotion of joy.  Always presented a façade of being cheerful and upbeat, but the ever-present rhetoric that the MLA pushes about the ongoing suppression of quirks and the misery and injustice it leads to left Kyou always struggling with guilt.  In college, it finally got so bad that he resolved to run away, enlisting the help of a friend with a swap-based teleport quirk to get him out of a party undetected. His fate thereafter is a secret that’s been taken to the grave by the MLA members involved in it, but given the typical reactions of illegal underground cults to members wanting to leave, it’s unlikely that he’s living somewhere in happy anonymity.  (Name means Unyielding Happiness, following in his grandfather and nephew's patterns of having characters in their names meaning power/strength.)

Yotsubashi Yukie: The younger child of Destro’s son, and Rikiya’s mother.  With a driving emotion of sorrow, and having been steadily losing family her entire life, Yukie wrestled with depression for most of her life. The presumptive heir to the title of Re-Destro, she spent considerably more time in training than her older brother, but she never much had the temperament for it.  When her father died only a few scant years after Kyouyuki’s disappearance, she expressed her fears that she was incapable of being the leader the Army needed.  This led to her becoming a mother at a relatively young age, continuing the bloodline rather than picking up the banner.  For all her struggles with her grief, Yukie was very determined to at least be there for the son on whom the weight of leadership would fall.  The world of My Hero Academia is a dangerous one, however, particularly before All Might established himself as Japan’s pillar, and Yukie was a casualty of the chaos of a villain attack when Rikiya was ten.  (Name means Glittering Conqueror, ditto the note above about the family pattern for name kanji.)

Rampart: Guardian and general caretaker for Rikiya in his younger years.  Hand-picked for the role by Yukie, who had considered him a close friend since their school days.  Meta-Ability: An earth manipulation power akin to Pixie-Bob’s, though less powerful.  (First Families lineage)

Shinseigi: Trumpet’s uncle, unspecified code name.  Also in politics, though of a more local variety.  Meta-ability: His speaking voice makes listeners suggestible.  (The phonetic pronunciation of his name sounds like “New Justice,” but the kanji are “Sleeping Voice Technique.”)

The Fourth Generation—

Yotsubashi Rikiya: The current Re-Destro (42); CEO and President of Detnerat.  He took up the former title when he was only 6 years old. With the succession of losses that were his uncle, grandfather and mother, the MLA has been fairly careful with him, grooming him with care and rarely leaving him without some form of supervision, be it Rampart when he was young or Trumpet in college.  An extremely dutiful child grown into an urbane man whose good humor disguises a morose—and occasionally volatile—inner character.  Always under a lot of stress (his MRIs are clear so far, though, haha!), but there’s only so much effort dedicated to mitigating that, since stress is his key emotion.  The first in the family line to be able to separate his power from his own body, in the form of his Stress Bomb attack.

Trumpet: Hanabata Koku (44).  One of Rikiya’s advisors and party leader of the Hearts & Minds Party (see below); has known Rikiya since their preteen years.  The Hanabatas were a political family of old, but largely saw those fortunes crash and burn when they started manifesting quirks a few generations into the Advent.  They’ve been clawing their way back into politics ever since and were an early target for the MLA’s project to infiltrate and/or start their own political party.  It was decided very early on that Koku’s quirk and his family connections made him a good choice to groom for leadership of the HMP, so he and Rikiya bonded over their similar positions.  They would go on to attend the same university, during which time they became romantically involved.  In truth, Koku’s university was functionally chosen for him on the basis of which one Rikiya would be attending; the First Families were not about to lose another Yotsubashi to college life.  Koku is more aware of this particular fact than Rikiya.  Still a little wistful about their college days, his opinions regarding Re-Destro’s big starstruck crush on Shigaraki are borderline unprintable.

Sanctum III: Twice’s No. 1 advisor, the dude with the big imperial handlebar moustache and what looks an awful lot like a dress uniform for the Japanese navy.  A few years older than Trumpet.  (First Families lineage)

Curious: Kizuki Chitose (36).  RD advisor and Shoowaysha Publishing Executive Vice President.[2]  From a relatively small liberated district up near Sendai; the MLA connections plus her own profound ambition got her moving very quickly up the MLA chain of command. Daughter of a wlw couple; got her blue skin from her bio mom.  One younger sibling, a sister.  Masterminded the dinners we see the group having in Chapter 218, originally to make sure Rikiya was getting at least one well-apportioned meal a week and a chance to socialize with the closest thing he has to peers, but also because it proved to be an invaluable opportunity to swap information and rumors.

Skeptic: Chikazoku Tomoyasu (31).  RD advisor and Feel Good Inc. board member.  On the bottom end of the generation age-wise, a prodigy in every sense save his broadly terrible people skills.  Recognizes Rikiya’s stress tells because he shares several of them himself, and is also the only person of Rikiya’s generation with the confidence to verbally push him around a bit.  It’s regarded as borderline scandalous by their elders, but Rikiya himself finds it bracing, and anyway, Skeptic’s ability to organize a schedule for maximum efficiency is nothing less than miraculous.  Got Rikiya onto fidget toys.

Toryu:  Toryu is the family name of Galvanize (aka Taser Face aka Kaminari’s Dad).  Mr. Compress’s No. 1, the dude who strolls out onto the lawn after Cementoss rips the hotel a new one and immediately gets his smarm repackaged and returned to sender by Kaminari and Edgeshot.  Great for morale before that, though!  In Rikiya’s age group, his mother’s side of the family (from which he gets the electricity powers) has been in the Army for at least as far back as her school days. (The name comes from the characters for leaping/rising and current/flow.)

Slidin’ Go: Tokoname Tatsuyuki (37).  He’s Slidin’ Go!  Skeptic’s No. 2, possibly because Slidin’ Go strongly resembles the puppets Skeptic is so used to barking orders at and there’s comfort in familiarity.

Aozono: Family name for another of Rikiya’s childhood peers, nothing is known but that green skin runs in the family as far back as her father.  May or may not be related to Curious’s family.

The Fifth Generation—

Geten: Real name unknown.  Family status unknown.  Age unknown, but I’d peg him in the 18-23 area.  Seems to be allowed to attend the weekly dinners without contributing anything but his incredibly terrible table manners.  Can talk an impassioned game about the Liberation Army’s goals (though he pushes the quirk supremacy line a good deal harder than anyone else in the Army is shown to; it’s not even close), but it’s fairly clear that he’s more personally dedicated to Re-Destro than he is the MLA’s cause in and of itself.  I’ll be honest; I have no idea what Geten’s deal is. My tentative headcanon is that he’s an orphan—the English meaning of his name, Apocrypha, refers to sacred writings of uncertain authorship/authenticity—who’s in some kind of Batman-and-Robin guardian-and-ward situation with Re-Destro, but I didn’t wind up writing enough about him to come up with much beyond that.

Nimble: Spinner’s No. 1, the woman with the weird paper-strip-esque hair who doesn’t seem to be in possession of a nose or mouth.  (She absorbs air through her skin like a frog, which is why no one has ever seen her with that sweater covering both of her shoulders.)  Nimble is a friendly sort, though she regards her outgoing good cheer as being a simple matter of social networking.  Ambitious, but sensible about it.                Meta-ability: Sky Write.  Allows her to project letters and pictures into the air around her, giving her a way to communicate she would have otherwise lacked.  She can create words in air she can’t see, but it takes some concentration, and the closer the better.

Scarecrow: Spinner’s No. 2, 21 years old.  Born with amelia (see link in Day Two’s author’s notes) that disfigured his face and severed his arms in the womb.  His quirk-based forelegs—a pair of spider legs emerging from his shoulders—can do a certain amount of basic object manipulation, but it tends to wig people out, so they push him to use his prosthetics like he’s “supposed” to (see Stray Notes section for more on this).  He was viciously angry about it even as a kid, and his parents were frustrated, making them easy pickings for cult indoctrination.  A family friend recommended that they look into Detnerat, where it wasn’t long before Re-Destro himself took an interest in their situation (or at least in making a good impression on them).  Scarecrow joined the Army as quickly as he was allowed to—16.              Meta-ability: Webbing.  The bug legs can project silk like a webspinner (the insect on which he’s based), allowing him to do anything you might broadly understand Spider-Man to be able to do with his webbing, though he certainly lacks Spider-Man’s strength.

Red: Named in passing in the manga, he’s the laid-back dude with the fluffy hair who serves as Skeptic’s No. 1 post-merger.  Probably invaluable in helping Skeptic maintain what bare vestiges of chill he can muster.  (First Families lineage)

The Sixth Generation—

Every child currently under the age of 10 being raised in MLA households with a picture of Destro over the mantle.  It’s not a small number, representing a group that neither the fandom nor the Hero Commission seem to have even realized exist.

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CORE TENETS & THE MATTER OF QUIRK SUPREMACY

Re-Destro is not (contrary to popular fandom belief) in favor of full-throated, might-makes-right, survival of the fittest Quirk Darwinism.[3]  Destro’s will was for people to be able to use their meta-abilities as they saw fit to the extent that that freedom did not interfere with the freedoms of others. He was against the regulation of meta-abilities, but he was not—to the best of our knowledge—against the regulation of crime.  His belief was that one murderer with a fire ability killing people did not justify barring everyone else with fire abilities from using those powers to fire clay, start campfires, engage in fire-themed performance art, use fire to char wood in artistic patterns for money, help park rangers set and direct controlled burns, coordinate explosions for the movie industry, light cigarettes in public, or any other of dozens of possible uses for a fire ability that don’t involve burning people alive.

The MLA do believe that meta-abilities have an impact on one’s personality, but they also believe that that’s okay; that it should be understood and accepted, not feared and repressed—Curious would not have wanted to turn Toga into a tragedy about the consequences of repression if she didn’t think that a spree of bloodletting murders was a tragedy.  Their belief as an organization is that people should be free to use their powers as they see fit in the same way that they would any other natural talent or cultivated skill.  They believe that people will, if free to do so, naturally gravitate to ways of improving their own lot in life via use of their meta-abilities.

Freedom from regulation and freedom from discrimination—these are the core tenets that the vast majority of the rank and file hold to.  A great many of them are laborers, blue collar types who just want to be able to better support themselves and their families.  Many others are those who suffered discrimination because of their quirks and want better for both themselves and their children.  Of course, the further back their connections go, the more likely they are to both be higher-ranked in the cult (with attendant greater resources) and to have grown up soaking in generations’ worth of resentment, groupthink, and radicalism.

Geten, a particularly virulent and single-minded MLA attack dog, has parsed the tenets to mean that people with strong, well-trained meta-abilities will naturally be able to use their powers to do more and raise their status in the MLA’s ideal society, and thus that those who can’t or don’t choose to will not be able to live lives that Geten personally thinks are worth living.  Likewise, Trumpet doesn’t fault Spinner only for his weak ability, but also for his anti-social tendencies.  Of course a politician who’s deeply invested in a narrative of people uniting to throw off their chains and better themselves would be disdainful of someone who locked himself in his bedroom for years and emerged only to violently lash out at society.  (Spinner’s right to call Trumpet a huge hypocrite on this, mind; terrorist cult members have no business lecturing other terrorists about the correct way to violently reform society.)

The MLA does have a problem with quirk supremacy, but it’s not quite the problem fandom thinks they do, and it’s certainly more nuanced than fandom thinks.[4]  Frankly, I could write a whole post dissecting this, but rather than analyzing the canon at length in a post intending to be about my fanon for a series of slice-of-life MLA fics, let me just lay out some issues I think the MLA have.  Note that these opinions may vary member to member, particularly as you work your way up the chain of command.

Many in the MLA believe that people with poor quirks are less capable of asserting their will and becoming whatever they want to be.  They are not, notably, alone in that that sentiment—we hear versions of it not only from villains like Trumpet and All for One, but from the paralleled parents of Midoriya Inko and Shimura Kotarou, the would-be hero Bakugou, and even the iconic hero paragon All Might.  While it’s not universal, My Hero Academia’s Japan is full of people who believe to some extent or another that people with weak or no quirks are inherently less capable of making their mark on the world.  The MLA is just more blatant about it than most.

The MLA are, as a group, not concerned about the fate of the quirkless.  My suspicion is that this is because they think quirklessness as a trait is on its way out—that the touted 20% of the world population that’s quirkless is hugely weighted towards the elderly, those who are from generations when quirklessness was more common.  Think about it: 20% is two out of every ten people.  Statistically speaking, that’s a huge portion!  You only have to look at Deku’s middle school classroom in Chapter 1—thirty kids, exactly one of whom is quirkless—to begin to suspect that there’s something a bit off with the 20% figure.

Further, the MLA follows Destro’s beliefs, and we know from Destro’s manifesto that he believed meta-abilities were growing stronger over time.  So to their mind, not only is quirklessness becoming a thing of the past, but so are weak quirks in general.  While their clear disdain for both is damning—and certainly discredits them as a group suited to decide how society should be structured!—please understand that, “We’re not very concerned with the rights of the quirkless because we think that there won’t be any such thing as quirkless people within a few more generations,” is not the same statement as, “We are A-OK with 20% of the world’s population being second-class citizens for the entire rest of human history,” and it is really not the same statement as, “People with no quirks, or bodies that can’t handle their quirks, need to be proactively removed from the gene pool and we are actively advocating for a systemic, organized culling.”

That said, their disdain, if blown out to society at large, would absolutely lead to discrimination and, undoubtedly, incidents of the same sort of violence that the MLA themselves were forged from.  That they haven’t thought or don’t care about this is one of many things that make them villains.

Further, there is an ugly strain within the MLA that still recognizes quirk marriages.  Because the MLA values freedom, they’re not as ubiquitous as you might think (at least if you think the MLA is a bunch of quirk supremacists with no other goals or values)—“freedom” does nominally include the freedom to marry who you want rather than let your own meta-ability trap you in a life you hate. However, it’s equally true that in a group that believes very strongly in the value of quirks, the power of quirks in the future, and the necessity of fighting a war to bring about that future, there will obviously be members who support the practice.  There are absolutely men and women who have been bullied and guilted by their families into loveless marriages for the sole purpose of producing children with powerful, desirable quirks.  How likely this is in any given location mostly depends on the commander’s opinion on it, though it’s a very rare one indeed who would go so far as discouraging it entirely.

———–      

THE HEARTS & MINDS PARTY

(Considerations on Japan’s political landscape.)

The current monolith of the Diet, the Liberal Democratic Party of Japan, managed to hold onto power for a full century after the Advent, but their grasp grew shakier and shakier over time.  Initial measures to bar meta-humans from voting proved increasingly unpopular as the percentage of the population with meta-abilities grew both larger and older.  People with easily-concealed powers gained office, sometimes being outed, sometimes not, but on the whole, decades of oppression and violence led to an ever-more-popular opinion that the LDP had mishandled the whole mess.  They lost their supermajority in the Diet when their longstanding alliance with the Komeito party splintered, regained it again for a few electoral cycles, lost it again when Komeito itself fractured, and so on, their once implacable numbers shrinking year by year.  Still, they managed to hold onto a coalition majority right up until Saneki Yuuichi was elected to the House of Representatives.

Saneki headed up a small party based almost entirely on the issue of meta-human basic rights.  Like many meta-humans of the period, he believed that the best way for meta-humans to attain those rights was to live like so-called “normal humans,” to show that meta-humans were just like everyone else. His party advanced the ideology that meta-humans should only use their powers to help others or better society, not to advance their own self-interest.  They pushed stringently for metas to be allowed equal recognition under the law as any Japanese citizen, but also supported measures such as requiring licenses for the use of meta-abilities and limiting those licenses to those actively engaged in assisting police.  Deeply tied to respectability politics, Saneki’s party contained virtually all emitters, a scant number of transformers, and no heteromorphs, who the party felt were an impediment to reaching their legislative goals, but whose particular needs could be brought back up at a later, more receptive time.

Saneki’s politics gained him many supporters, but also drove many into the arms of the Meta Liberation Army, who vocally loathed him and everything he stood for.  The confluence of public dissatisfaction with the spike in violence represented by the MLA, Saneki’s coalition gathering popular support among both metas and non-metas, and the rise of named, organized hate groups trying to roll back what few advances had been gained in meta-human rights finally spelled the end of the LDP’s majority.

The LDP falling apart prompted a scramble for power that would stretch on for nearly half a century. Old alliances whose only common ground had been opposing the LDP found themselves free to seek groups with more compatible goals.  Young single- or dual-issue parties leapt at the chance to address their issues with more fervor.  New parties sprung up across the country.  Not only meta-humans, but minority groups of all kinds saw new avenues to press for substantive positive changes that had been dead in the water under the LDP.  Voting numbers surged as they had not for decades.

The old, conservative elements of the Diet were not gone, of course—they remained a substantial powerhouse!—but no longer could they muster the undefeatable veto-proof numbers that they had once enjoyed.

Like everyone else, the remnants of the MLA saw opportunity in the new, ever-shifting status quo.  With the place of metas secured for the time being, there was no longer a need for metas to form coalitions in the Diet merely to get their basic needs addressed.  A single-issue party from its inception thirty years prior, Saneki Yuuichi’s party was fragmenting, unable to decide on a single direction now that their uniting issue had been resolved to their satisfaction.  In recognition of meta-humans reaching population parity, the MLA launched a project to begin seeding the ideals of Liberation at the highest levels yet—the Hearts & Minds Party.

Beginning as a local party in a prefecture in which the MLA had gained significant underground support, the HMP campaigned on a platform championing individual freedoms and a wide range of improvements to Japan’s battered and overworked social safety nets.  They made an effort to showcase diverse representation in their leadership and gave impassioned speeches promising to reach across party aisles in searching for nuanced solutions to the various difficulties facing the country.

It’s impossible to say exactly how large the Hearts & Minds Party is compared to the Meta Liberation Army, which is claimed by Re-Destro to have 116,000 action-ready warriors (the “warriors lying in wait, ready to rise to action” description presumably indicating that his count does not include uninducted children).

On the one hand, one can presume that everyone who’s a member of the MLA is voting for the HMP on every ticket they can, but not every member of the MLA—who induct combat-ready warriors as young as 16—is old enough to vote, and many probably live in districts or prefectures where the HMP has yet to establish a campaign-ready foothold. On the other hand, while the HMP certainly serves to funnel people towards the MLA, it doesn’t require membership—indeed, it’s far better for their goals for them not to do so.  Therefore, it’s also probable that the Hearts & Minds Party has many supporters who are not (yet) counted among the Liberation Army’s number.  Thus, for the purposes of ballparking estimates, I opted to simply suppose that the two areas lacking overlap (MLA members who can’t vote for the HMP and HMP supporters who aren’t members of the MLA) are relatively equal.

That established, we’re working with a party that has 116K voters/supporters/members.  The closest thing to that number that I could find numbers for is the Japanese Communist Party (JCP), which counted 300K members as of 2017.  Using their total membership compared to their representation in the Diet (as well as a willingness to viciously bastardize anything resembling reliable political math), I plugged in my estimate for the HMP’s membership and wound up with the Hearts & Minds Party holding four seats in the House of Representatives, five seats in the House of Councillors, and sixty-odd assembly members in various prefectural positions.

For some context to those numbers, the House of Representatives (more powerful, but more vulnerable to sudden electoral shifts) has 465 members, 233 of which are required for a majority, and 310 of which are required to override vetoes imposed by the House of Counsillors. The House of Counsillors (less powerful, but serving longer terms and unable to be dissolved for general elections like the House of Representatives can be) has 245 members, with 123 required for a majority.

As you can see, the HMP holding a handful of seats isn’t going to tilt the My Hero Academia world on its axis.  Still, it’s more seats than any number of real-life Japanese political parties hold, and right up until the one-two punch of Shigaraki taking over the MLA and Hawks outing Trumpet’s allegiances to the Hero Commission, the Hearts & Minds Party was well on-track to continue growing its power and influence.

———–      

TIMELINE

(For ease of calculation, most dates are rounded to the nearest five years.)

1980: A glowing baby is born in Qing Qing City, China, heralding the Advent of the Age of the Extraordinary.  For almost two decades, meta-abilities remain rare and poorly understood—incidents are widespread and show huge variance, so most people write them off as anomalies or hoaxes.  As the years go on, however, meta-abilities become more widespread, moving out of the realm of the odd headline that many people think is an elaborate hoax into an alarmed spotlight as it gradually becomes apparent that this is a thing that all humanity is undergoing.  Most major technological development pivots to trying to understand, undo, document or control this new phenomenon.

2030: The child who will become All for One is born.  By this time, society is breaking down into chaos. Across the globe, measures from outlawing all meta-ability use to internment are seen.  Eugenics laws are discussed or put in place.  Communities attempt to run out metas and, in response, groups of metas attempt to form their own communities.  Infanticide rates are rising alarmingly.

2060: Yotsubashi Chikara and Ujiko (original name unknown) are born.  Japan is in complete disarray, awash in mob violence, with organized groups of both metas and non-metas attacking victims indiscriminately.  Developing an ability can get you disowned.  Divisions among the meta minority are developing a noticeable strain of respectability politics rhetoric.

2065: AFO forces an ability on his younger brother, unintentionally creating One for All.  Chikara’s mother is murdered by an anti-meta mob for attempting to speak out in defense of the normalcy of her child’s ability.

2085-2090: Saneki Yuuichi becomes the first meta-human to attain a seat in the Diet. Despite nearly a century of violence, meta-humans are becoming a larger and larger percentage of the population, and the people of Japan are tired.  The prevailing sense is that it’s time to make peace; however, the peace that is being forged involves laws sharply restricting the use of meta-abilities for those who haven’t been formally licensed.  These restrictions see markedly mixed reactions from metas.  Chikara rallies the most vehement dissenters to create the Meta Liberation Army, calling himself Destro.              Disagreement over how to handle the MLA finally finishing the job of rattling the Diet free of the death-grip of the LDP.  Many years of fractious elections will follow as new coalitions form to try and seize majority power.

2095: Japan signs an international accord acknowledging the fundamental rights of meta-humans.  This gesture begins to splinter both internal support and public sympathy for the MLA.

2097: Destro is captured by police and their newly designated Quirk Unit.  Other surviving members of the MLA are hunted down or go into hiding.

2100: The term “Hero” is formally adopted, having been casually in use for some time.  A Hero is one who is licensed to use their power to fight quirk-based crime in accordance with local and federal laws, assisting the police when requested.  The Hero Commission is established as an agency with oversight in the licensing and regulation of Heros.              Destro dies in prison.  Though the matter is questioned, no proof of foul play is ever brought forward, and the death is ruled a suicide.

2110: Ujiko presents his paper on the Paranormal [5] Singularity Theory.  The paper suggests that the power of quirks is continuing to grow with each generation and will, in time, become more powerful than the human body can control.  His evidence is inconclusive, however, and his citation of some of Destro’s observations on the phenomenon becomes a particular sticking point.  In a country that is finally beginning to get its feet back under it, no one wants to see another widespread panic.  Ujiko is stripped of his position; having been living on campus at the time, he’s left functionally homeless and is approached by All for One not long after.

2120: The population of those with quirks and those without reaches parity in Japan. Seeing an opportunity, the MLA launches the Hearts & Minds Party as a local political party, intending to grow it over time.

(2125: Yagi Toshinori is born.)

2138: Yotsubashi Rikiya is born.

(2148: Debut of All Might.)

(2165: Shimura family tragedy.)

(2174: All Might “defeats” AFO.)

2175: Hanabata Koku is elected to the House of Representatives.  He’s not the youngest party leader in the Diet, but he’s close.

2180: The events of Deku’s freshman year at UA lead the MLA to turn their attention to the League of Villains.

———–      

STRAY FACTS

Why 1980/2180?—

It’s an even number for ease of calculation, triangulated between a few considerations.

Firstly, tasers are mentioned in the One for All dream, so the events of the dream (which themselves are happening far enough into the Advent that society’s had time to slide into all-out chaos) must post-date the invention of the taser, which was in 1993.

Secondly, Spider-Man’s silhouette is seen amongst the group of characters who represent the “fantasy” that became reality.  If we assume that those media properties existed in-universe (since the narration is delivered by Midoriya) and were assumed to be fantastical at the time, they must predate the Advent—Spider-Man is the newest of them and his first appearance was in 1962, his material being translated into Japanese by the 1970s.

Lastly, technological and societal development crashed to a halt with the Advent.  The world of My Hero Academia generally reflects a modern-ish Japan, so I wanted modern technology—and modern social reforms—to still feel modern to the characters.  Thus, the point at which society stopped developing needed to predate the Digital Revolution, which really began to hit its stride in the mid-80s.  Hence, 1980.

The opening period is, admittedly, fairly generous on my part, and does assume a certain amount of modern advances were probably underway, but then were lost, sidelined or rolled back as the chaos spread.  You could probably trim off twenty years by stepping up how quickly quirks begin to appear and spread, but the very beginning is the best window to do so.  I’d still peg the Advent at 1980 based on the calculations above (again, it has to fall somewhere between the mid-70s and 1993) but, for example, maybe All for One is from that first generation, and society only takes 30 years to reach the lowest point of its collapse instead of 80.

As to the 2180, the older characters introduce several requirements for the post-Advent timeline.  Ujiko was 50 at the time that society was beginning to stabilize, while AFO dates to its days of utmost chaos.  AFO also needs to be running on at least one anti-aging quirk prior to meeting Ujiko; if the only one he were running on was Ujiko’s own, then based on his appearance and the mechanics of Ujiko’s quirk, I’d peg AFO at merely 85, and he needs to be not only over 100, but far enough over 100 that he’s described that way rather than as “a century-old evil” or something to that effect.

Meanwhile, All Might can’t really be any younger than 50, and seven generations of OFA bearer predated him, even if they did all die relatively young.  Destro’s mother was killed in those early chaotic days, while Re-Destro (himself no spring chicken) is told as a child that the MLA has been in hiding for generations.  “Generations” implies at least two; I further suppose that Rikiya needs to be at least the original Chikara’s great-grandson for him to describe himself simply as Destro’s descendant, rather than use a more specific relationship term.  All of this points to a fairly lengthy stretch of time, much more than is glossed over by Midoriya’s series-opening narration.

AFO and the MLA—

I mention in the very first story of this series that the MLA’s contacts all go “mysteriously missing” after the capture of Destro.  While the police certainly did their own measure of work in tracking down the Liberation Army’s members and allies, there was another figure with a significant hand in the MLA’s downfall.

All for One, then in his early sixties, had watched the rise of the MLA in some interest.  On a personal level, he admired Yotsubashi’s charisma and resolve, and, of course, he wholly supported the free use of quirks (well, his own free use of quirks, anyway)!  On the other hand, All for One also sought to restore order to society, albeit order as he himself envisioned it.  While he was confident that there was no one who could stand up to him no matter whose ideals won out, Saneki Yuuichi’s way promised a more stable society, and bribable and/or blackmailable bureaucrats seemed easier to manipulate than ideal-driven zealots ready to give their lives for the cause.  Thus, AFO decided to help the police a bit behind the scenes, offering a few tip-offs and hints to guide their efforts to end the threat of the Liberation Army.

Of course, as long as Destro was alive, the cause of Liberation still had its focal point. And AFO was still a bit curious to meet this man, who’d inspired so very many loyal followers.  It was an easy thing to arrange.  An interesting man, and an interesting quirk.

Destro did commit suicide in prison.  A man who had always embraced his meta-ability for motivation, and whose ability transformed that motivation into power in turn, AFO stripped him of in the same moment. Isolation from other contact, separation from his lover, his friends and allies, and his cause, a gap in his psyche like no pain he’d ever experienced--all of these piled up on one another into a fatal despair.  After AFO’s visit, there was no need for anyone to arrange a convenient death for Destro.

(And if in later years, the monstrous Noumu, who are driven entirely by pre-programmed, single-minded resolve, are flint-skinned from head-to-toe, well—who would ever even think to connect those dots?)

The Mother of Quirks—

An interesting thing I observed from Re-Destro’s confrontation with Clone!Shigaraki is that, based on their exchange, it doesn’t seem to be common knowledge that the Mother of Quirks is the mother of the Meta Liberation Army’s leader?  Re-Destro’s apology for assuming Shigaraki wouldn’t recognize the story suggests that it’s a matter of fairly basic historical education, but he then goes on to explain her connection to Destro at some length—if that connection were taught at the same time her story was, surely he’d see no need to do this? Clone-a-raki’s response backs this up—unlike the general existence of the Mother of Quirks, which was such basic knowledge that he was insulted that Re-Destro thought he wouldn’t know about it, her connection to Destro was unknown to him.

Re-Destro describes the connection as “an inconvenient truth.”  This, in turn, suggests that the connection has been actively obscured.  The MLA’s place in history is taught; the originator of the term “quirk” is taught, but the two are not connected to each other. Kids in school aren’t taught that the very child whose mother was murdered for her words hated what his country was using those words, that message, to do.  It’s naked appropriation that continues to this day, and it’s no wonder that the MLA is furious about it.

The Quirk Unit—

An early term for the group that would, in relatively short order after their formation, officially be dubbed Heroes.  Composed of both meta-humans already on the police force and vigilantes willing to remit themselves to legal oversight, they fought quirk-based crime in many forms, from the common mugger to the terrorists of the MLA, and even former allies in vigilantism.  Well-regarded by history thanks to their efforts in reining in crime and disorder, but quite a controversial group in their early years.

MLA Age of Induction—

Being raised in the MLA means being raised with the goal of eventually being assigned a codename and tasked with supporting the Great Cause in whatever fashion your superiors think you best suited.  The minimum age for this is 16, though 18, being the age at which students graduate from high school, is more common.  At no point is there really a safe way to leave once you’re involved; they are, after all, a secret army.  There’s no aging out of the MLA—it’s a lifetime tour—but disability, injury or general decrepitude can get you assigned to work that generally won’t expect you to see open combat.  The Army is composed of a great many lifetime-of-service families, after all, which means they need teachers and caretakers; another option is dedicated work for the Hearts & Minds Party, who always have room for community organizers.

Liberated Districts—

Settlements that are at least 85% MLA-inducted.  At their largest, they’re small towns; rural villages are far more common.  Without exception, they’re isolated or out of the way.  Tend to have unusually good access to city services compared to similarly-sized settlements.  Deika was one of the largest districts the Army had, chosen for the Revival Celebration due to its combination of a sizable population and a particularly closed-off location.  The MLA knew they’d need many warriors to fight the League of Villains, but they also needed a site that was not merely remote, but that had controllable points of access.

It can take well over a decade to hit the 85% saturation mark in even small villages; Deika and the MLA’s handful of other full-fledged towns are the work of generations.  They begin by moving people into an area and setting up gatherings on some useful pretext or another, enthusiastically welcoming newcomers and very, very gradually indoctrinating people further into the ideology.  Financial support, an accepting environment for difficult quirks or those with patchy legal histories, the odd homeless shelter or food kitchen, a robust presence in the foster care network—the MLA is very, very good at making themselves a warm, sincere, reliable presence in peoples’ lives, a group that encourages everyone under their banner to be their best selves. They think everyone deserves that kind of support!

They are also willing to shed quite a lot of blood to make sure that everyone can get it.

On the Intersection of Disability and Quirk Suppression—

There are a few factors contributing to why Scarecrow can’t use his quirk to do things others would.  First, his quirk is the kind of off-putting that gets Gang Orca ranked third-most villainous-looking hero and leads Shoji to wear a mask because his face disturbs people.  So Scarecrow’s quirk is already the kind of visible that makes people look at him askance.  Compounding this, his prosthetics are obvious, visible to any old person, and people have a very ugly tendency towards bootstrap, “you can do it if you try” mentalities around people with disabilities.  These two factors mean that people who are disturbed by his creepy articulate bug legs would much prefer that he use his significantly less-creepy prosthetics, to the degree that they’re willing to suggest that he’s being lazy if he doesn’t.  They cite the quirk-use laws as a deflection tactic, but Scarecrow—whose pattern recognition functions just fine, thanks—is keenly aware of the underlying mindset.

Nimble is in much the same boat—she literally can’t talk without falling back on a visual representation of some kind (sign-language, a text-to-speech reader, etc), and why on earth shouldn’t she be able to use the fastest and most convenient one without people getting up her ass about it?

None of this is the kind of thing that would likely get either of them arrested (though Scarecrow’s creepy enough that the odds are higher for him, “villain quirk” bias being what it is), but the laws-as-written, nonetheless, are discriminatory, and that makes people justly angry.  Angry people are easier to radicalize, and the Liberation Army has been working that angle since their very inception.

Re-Destro and Trumpet’s College Days—

RD’s an Engineering major with a focus in Manufacturing; Trumpet’s in PoliSci.  They’re two grades apart, with Koku being the older.  Those two years of greater experience shift the power balance between them significantly when Rikiya arrives for his freshman year, facing a new place, a new workload, an entirely new rhythm to his life.  For the first time, Koku is not merely a friend in similar circumstances who is still—as they’re both reminded near-constantly—subordinate to Rikiya’s every word.  Rather, he’s a senpai, someone with specific experience in every aspect of this new stage of life—and someone who’s had two years to become more eloquent, more well-studied, more confident, more mature.

Removed from the immediate supervision of the First Families for the first time in his life, Rikiya allows himself to lean on Koku in ways he never would have back home. Koku, for his part, has had his responsibilities here impressed on him by the First Families at some length, and has spent his entire life being groomed to devote himself to his Grand Commander.  Having said Grand Commander looking to him with such glowing esteem in his eyes—well, there’s no denying that it’s pretty enticing.  The two of them enter a romantic relationship that will endure for several years until Rikiya gets his head back around the idea that Koku’s ability to say no to him is fundamentally compromised.

The Bindi Connection—

I had no reason to develop them any, and thus I don’t have names to assign, but it seems that Twice’s No. 3, the smiling old woman with the gingham dress and the rough-and-ready attitude to combat, and Geten’s No. 2, the short-haired woman whose face is being devoured by her out-of-control sweater neck, are related.  Note the bindi on both of them, as well as the similar hair color, particularly in the page introducing all the advisors.  Mutual connection to Dabi’s No. 3, the guy who got into a fight with a hole punch and lost, is uncertain but possible based on the confronting-the-heroes page spread in which Hole Punch dude’s hand lays familiarly on Grandma Bindi’s back while Big Sis Bindi turns partly towards him as if to whisper some sarcastic observation about how lame Cementoss’s ponytail is.

———–      

FOOTNOTES

1: Regarding codenames, the first generation of the MLA tended to have names that reflected their meta-ability in some way.  From the second generation on, at the behest of Destro’s son, the codenames have become less literal, and thus less revealing.

2: Viz renders the job tile “Executive Director,” but having checked the raw, the Japanese term, senmu, is associated with a fairly specific level of executive authority, and it’s lower than I would peg “Executive Director,” which to my ear sounds synonymous or slightly below Chief Executive Officer.  Executive Vice President is wikipedia’s translation; Google returns Senior Managing Director.  In any case, she’s near the top, but not at the top.

3: At least, he wasn’t prior to meeting Shigaraki.  Now he’s pretty much in favor of a very organized and coherent belief structure that can be summarized as, “Watch Shigaraki tear down the world ‘cause he’s beautiful and I love him,” and honestly, mood.

4: I’ll just come out and say it: fandom blew Geten’s words way out of proportion because a bunch of people got mad that he was being mean to Everyone’s Favorite Serial Killer Dabi.

5: An archaic term by this period.  Even “meta-human” saw more use in academic parlance, while the term “quirk” had become much more widespread among the general population since its official adoption during the period of legislation twenty years prior.

[momorabu]

Ibara Hime - Playthrough Compilation + Review

Part I - Main Story + Ending 1

Part II - Ending 2 + Ending 4 (Itoh’s Ending)

Part III - Ending 3 + Ending 5 (Mizuki’s Ending)

Read the cut below for my review / final thoughts about the game. (Contains Spoilers. R18 Story.)

This took quite a while, but I feel very accomplished that I’ve got to finish playing and writing the playthrough for this game, seeing that I’m interested to know the story for this game since quite a long time ago. The illustrations were pretty good, and incest was still a taboo topic not really touched on much in otome games. 

Though this game still features a yandere brother similar to how some other otome games introduced incest, the way it’s written makes me feel scared, disgusted yet pitiful for Mizuki. Some of the endings really depict his struggles quite well, even if I wasn’t fond of him anyway. I really like Ririko’s character though, even if she struggled badly with confidence. I could see myself in her in some of the scenarios, especially the horrifying dread feeling when realising that most people around her aren’t normal at all D: (Especially her disses and rebuttals even if she’s the weaker one in those scenarios, I’ll lash out too if I were her. What is wrong with everyone here?!) Sadly, Ririko seems like one of the most normal characters around here.

I’ll continue to touch on / rant some of my thoughts upon reaching the various endings below, in the order of how I’ve played them (which is different from the order of the playthrough that I’ve written).

Ending 1 ( 鋏 Ending)

I don’t really like this ending since it came too suddenly for me, and I kind of get scared a little as Mizuki just suddenly went and commit suicide which also scarred poor Ririko. I also get a literally “oh well... that’s it?” when the game went back to the main menu, so this ending is abit substandard. Little did I know this was just the beginning as this was the most normal ending in the game.

Ending 5 (姉弟 Ending)

Decided to go for this ending first since from the name of endings I’ve seen from the guide I’ll be using for the rest of the game (I got ending 1 on my blind playthrough so you know how badly I can be in otome games =w=“), this seems one of the best ones. The ending was indeed quite sweet and touching when the siblings decided to love each other, though I find Ririko’s transition kind of abrupt. Mizuki’s confession that he’s glad he wasn’t siblings with Ririko touched me really badly, the guy just wants to love Ririko and didn’t want to think of himself as weird too. (This was the moment I realised Mizuki probably struggled with his own issues alot.) 

Too bad that their father was a bastard who raped his own sister, had a child and kept everything undercover for so many years. I was like “Dad, how could you!!!” and “This family except the mum is abnormal now” at the last scene. Even Ririko decided that she’s not going to be the logical person anymore. At least Mizuki is alive in this ending and might continue to live blissfully, unknowing of the actual truth of his birth. Seriously, what is wrong with the Dad and his brother, and to think their aunt still continues to live and communicate with them normally just feel buzzard to me. This family is indeed very very weird. D:

Seeing that this was actually the best ending and how it turned out to make me feel abit worried for the other endings... I decided to take a break for the day after this ending seriously and continued to finish the game on the next day.

Ending 3 ( 落下 Ending)

Since this ending and Itoh’s ending just differ by 1 (or 2?) options, I decided to go for this first then Itoh’s ending next. This ending... literally gave me goosebumps and it landed such a huge impression on me that I was all about this ending when I was talking about this game to my friend. 

For me, it’s scary when Mizuki becomes stalkerish. The way he kept forcing Ririko and wanted her to love him scares me since it is extremely stressful that someone tries all means to want you to look at him romantically, but you just feel disgusted and dislike. It’s really a very unhealthy feeling so even though I was like “Wow, Ririko really did ask him to jump and die”, I kind of actually agreed/relate to her saying that. At that moment you just want that person to be gone so that you can go back to your daily life. (I’m heartless in that I said “Bye-bye Mizuki” when he jumped =w=“)

For Ririko though, it’s really not easy, seeing that Mizuki was her brother and she was even pregnant with his child. In the ending, she doesn’t even treat him as her brother anymore and just a disgusting guy, yet feels guilt that she ended up “killing” him (more towards killing a human as opposed to killing her brother, though she also feels bad for erasing his life). 

The future initially made me felt quite hopeful, and even a little touched seeing that Ririko’s child was quite good, and their family was still holding it together even when Mizuki had passed on. (I was holding abit of hope that Itoh and Ririko might patch up seeing that he still texted her.) But... the game just likes to trash my hopes that it would be a bitter-sweet ending by making the child a cursed devilish child in the end. Yuki speaking as Mizuki is terrifying... Imagine that your stalker has never given you up after all those years and coming back to haunt you again. That’s what makes this ending scary for me, I’ll rather be not loved by anybody than being pursued so fiercely like this seriously D:

Ending 4 ( 伊藤 Ending)

Decided to go for Itoh’s ending to calm my heart after this ending... The part where they reveal the reason of Ririko’s slow growth was kind of heartwarming (though it’s still a scary past event), seeing that Mizuki was really worried sick at that time and blamed himself up to the present. I like how the siblings managed to put aside all their hate and romantic feelings aside and become close siblings once again. For Ririko, this all seems like a wonderful ending to the episode, being in a good relationship with her brother again, and having a wonderful boyfriend Itoh who helped and accompany them.

However, the future started off with a 3P and led me to think that something is terribly wrong. (I don’t like forced NTR, especially when the heroine isn’t willing all the way till the end. Ririko didn’t have any romantic feelings for Mizuki so... D:) Realising that Itoh was also in love with Mizuki, perhaps even more than Ririko just made me so mad seriously. (I already have a weird tingling feeling when Itoh said he valued Mizuki very much from the beginning, guess it’s true that he’s gay for Mizuki TWT) It’s not that I dislike gays but ugh... seeing this in an otome game really destroys the feeling of playing an otome game ><” Poor Ririko is so crushed seeing that she was always in love with Itoh all along, but turned out that he loves her brother more instead, as even though he keeps telling Ririko he treasured and loves her, he wants her to have her own brother’s child. What the... I seriously cannot understand Itoh even after seeing this ending, maybe he really loves Mizuki so much that he wants to grant everything he wants and give him the best life, but making Ririko do the very thing she detests (having sex with her brother and even planning her to have her brother’s child) is not telling me that he loves her actually. Ririko is just something for him to make use of so he can have the excuse to be with Mizuki for as long as he likes. Please spare poor Ririko from all the heartbreak, that feeling of being betrayed after so many years.... ugh! (I’m still pissed from this ending even while writing this.)

Guess I’m correct for being suspicious about Itoh from the beginning. Itoh literally broke all my otome heart, and suddenly Mizuki seems just a bit better...?

Ending 2 (包丁 Ending)

Haha, just when I was thinking Mizuki is better, this last ending I’ve played kind of just wants to prove me the opposite. Ririko is abit crazy in this ending, seeing that she’s ready to give up her everything to kill her own brother. But the circumstances changed very quickly and before I knew it, Mizuki was the one having the upper hand, and I was worried, thinking “is he really going to stab her in the vagina?”, “Is this going to end up being a gore R18 otome game?” (I... really don’t like gore so I’m abit scared.) 

Thank goodness, Ririko blacked out just as I was getting scared and the ending just came abruptly again, with Mizuki committing suicide. But this time it came with a suicide letter, which revealed some of his struggles he had about his feelings with Ririko. This ending was abit touching for me, even though I already understood what their mother was talking about regarding the “what ifs”. Ririko doesn’t seem too sad about Mizuki’s loss, though in a good way she’s just relieved that her nightmare was over.

Afterthoughts

That’s it for all the rant about the endings. This is going to be one game that I’ll remember for a very very long time. I loved how the story was written since every detail in the game can be used for a certain ending so it doesn’t feel like any part of the story was redundant. The music helps in the atmosphere quite alot, seeing that it’s a pity that this game wasn’t voiced.

Even though this game doesn’t show alot of sexual assault or physical damage like how... erm... other R18 otome games would have done, there’s quite a few of emotional manipulation, which makes it scary since this can be realistic in real life, and it shows that emotional damage can be the same or even worse than physical damage in a way. There are sex scenes in the game, but they’re not depicted in a way that they’re the main topic like in nukige, but instead, as a catalyst to show the highlight of this game, the struggle and reveal of forbidden romantic feelings towards a sibling.

Greatly recommended for those who love diving into psychological analyzation and dark storyline/feelings. For those who like incest though, be prepared to be disappointed if you want those heart fluffy romantic incest, this game is totally the opposite of that. 

Art:  ★ ★ ★ ★

Story:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Voice Acting:  -

Music:  ★ ★ ★ ★

Overall Enjoyment:  ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

PS: CG Collection of the entire game can be found on the game collection page of the blog.

[jojosbizarreadventur]

Time’s Crusade: Prologue (00) and Chapter One (01)

also available on AO3 (under emih)

Summary: Yesterday in 2011, your husband Noriaki and close friend Jotaro were both murdered together just months before your university graduations. The day before yesterday, you discovered that your nerve-wracking IUI procedure was successful. Two months before that day, said close friend made a proposition to the both of you due to your husband’s recently-discovered infertility.

Today in 1988, you’re over 20 years into the past of an alternate universe, suddenly tasked with trailing after different versions of your late husband and close friend as they travel with unfamiliar faces to Egypt, determined to confront the man you now work for.

And in the following days, you discover how easy it was for your sentiments to change.

00

Prologue

1988 || Egypt

“My family back in America has a history of entering politics,” the man with the orange robing concluded after his spiel. His fingernails lightly tapped on the cold stem glass before him. “’S not for me, personally.”

Across from him was his blond, brooding boss— a man far beyond his actual age with an interesting penchant for sadistic activities… if it meant he’d get what he’d expressed a desire for. He was a very persistent man, and though he had only awakened less than five years ago, there was already plenty of time for him to outline his next endeavors. The man in the orange robing did not have much knowledge of his boss’s other deeds or requests, nor did he want to know them.

Except for this one, because he was reportedly going to play a prominent role in its execution. For a new hire, he knew of its impressiveness. It was too early to celebrate, however, as he later discovered that the parameters set for him were quite… particular, and this conversation was supposed to clear a few issues up. This was already confirming that today was going to be a relatively uneventful 24th of November.

His boss let out a hum in content.

“Quite the history your lineage has,” his boss observed, mildly intrigued. “Had I bothered to… ‘survive’ the boat trip to America, perhaps I would have encountered that amusing ancestor of yours someday.”

The man in the orange robing cheekily nodded.

Subsequently, his boss pivoted the conversation.

“Your Stand’s abilities,” his boss reaffirmed with a firm tone of voice. “Last time we conversed you only disclosed a brief overview of them, though I’d like to be enlightened even more.”

“What would you like to focus on?” the man with the orange robing asked in anticipation.

It wasn’t often that he’d have such a thorough conversation on his Stand, Take Five. For years he has benefited from anonymity as he learned and practiced the abilities he was born with and aware of— a slight surprise to his boss, nonetheless. To speak of it so freely is… well, it’s taking a bit of time for him to get used to.

His boss’s sharp golden eyes stayed on him.

“Its limitations.”

Yes, of course.

“…It doesn’t have many restrictions, as far as I know,” the man in the orange robing confessed, pursing his lips afterwards.

His boss let out another hum. “Elaborate.”

The man with the orange robing smirked. “Whatever or whoever travels to a different dimension must have the entirety of their body enclosed between the two objects or surfaces that I choose to use. As I am just about finished with the task you’ve assigned to me, uh… I recently had an encounter with Hollis… Haruo Joestar and his daughter in their home in the previous dimension I visited.”

“Hollis Joestar?” his boss repeated, raising a brow in curiosity. He initially showed no sign of recognition towards the name. That must’ve been that dimension’s one of many descendants of JoJo—  Jonathan… if that dimension’s Jonathan was anything like the one he currently owned the body of.

The alternate dimensions themselves show no restrictions in diversity, as he realized from the man in the orange robing’s accounts the other day. In another dimension, his counterpart was apparently living in modern suburbia with some bastard child of his, left behind by one of his feasts. Imagine him, Dio, being constrained to such a setting! He was connected to a Joestar even then, as a counterpart of Jonathan’s great-great-grandson lived right next door.

The man in the orange robing quickly got rid of that Joestar, per his request. That one didn’t even have a Stand, making the kill effortless. Needless to say, Dio slept soundly that day.

“His wife Sadako Kujo is a jazz pianist, away on tour… his teenage daughter Jitsuko attending school until she decided to ditch,” he sourly clarified, snapping Dio back to  this  account. “Haruo— as he calls himself— tried to fight me with his own Stand as Jitsuko aided in the effort. You know, I don’t think Ms. Sadako would be thrilled to find her decapitated husband and her dismembered daughter left to bleed and rot, upon returning. Haruo and Jitsuko were much too righteous, acting as if following after me would prove something of themselves…”

“As all Joestars are,” Dio mockingly moped, before backtracking. “By any chance, did Hollis have a father named Joseph?”

The name had suddenly clicked.

How could it have escaped his mind? Upon ‘awakening’ near the Canary Islands, he spent the time travelling as he recuperated (gladly with the help of willing candidates). One of his first tasks was to find the outcome of the Joestar lineage— it had been nearly a hundred years since the events on that ship, and surely the country girl that Jonathan ended up marrying would’ve drowned while escaping.

In fact, she did not, much to his dismay. He didn’t know where she was found, but she was found and was pregnant, as she had given birth to a son some months after. That son had married and his wife had given birth to the now-old man that dares to constantly watch him. Of course Dio knew that Joseph was watching him— he had been for some time, now, with the help of his recently-acquired Stand. That old intrusive man had made a name for himself as a real-estate mogul and furthered the lineage with a daughter, who also had a son.

Anyhow, he had been keeping tabs.

Hollis Joestar must have been the counterpart of Joseph’s daughter— goodness, the names were even variations of one another. Likewise, Jitsuko would’ve been the counterpart of her son.

“Uh…” the man with the orange robing trailed off with a pensive expression. “I recall him having a mother named Josephine, if that’s what you mean.”

Of course, the only aspect that was different in that dimension was their sexes. If this holds true, however, Dio would have been a woman. If his counterpart still awakens after a century in the deep depths of the ocean and still feels the need to eliminate the rest of the Joestar family, then at least that dimension was staying relatively faithful to this one.

Though…

“I see,” his boss responded, body staying stiff. “What other limitations are you, at the very least, aware of? For example…you exist in the other dimensions as well, do you not? Your abilities are quite unique, after all…”

“Well, yes, of course, I exist in others too,” the man in the orange robing confirmed as a matter-of-fact. “But I’m the only one that has a Stand, thus I’m the only one who can travel.”

As a young teen, he had accidentally encountered a counterpart of himself while trying out his newly-discovered ability of dimension-hopping. Though, that one showed no sign of being a Stand user. Instead, he was far away, taking no notice of his counterpart’s Stand as he competed in a chess competition with another teen that suspiciously resembled his now-boss. Luckily, he had no interest in meeting that chess-playing counterpart.

He had an inkling that the outcome would’ve been disastrous.

—

[STAND NAME] and [STAND MASTER]

 ???

—

Dio hummed in vague interest now. The man in the orange robing definitely had a peculiar ability. Within a year of possessing his Stand and encountering users that now work for him, he had never seen anything like it before. He was just starting to realize the extent— the wide range of Stand abilities, even with his own recently-realized ability to stop time. Fortunately, the ability of dimension-hopping was being utilized by someone who had the wits to use it to his advantage as he dedicated himself to the mission assigned by his boss, Dio. It was as if the mission was perfectly crafted for a man of his caliber… because it was.

“The task that I’ve assigned to you, I believe, was executed wonderfully.”

Based on the very detailed accounts that the man in the orange robing had been graciously giving to him per day, he was well aware of the man’s success. He should expect to be paid handsomely; he definitely deserved it.

“You should be just about finished visiting the dimensions we’ve targeted, then,” Dio continued. Oh, how much he wanted to gloat! He was already feeling the need to assign him another task. If his dedication to this one was any indication of his loyalty to him, Dio, then surely he’d have the chance to milk him of his abilities. Besides, the man already had his bud of cells implanted in his head, so that chance was for certain.

The man in the orange robing tentatively exhaled, pursing his lips.

At this action, his boss suddenly raised a brow. His back straightened just a smidgen— why had the man exhaled in such a manner? Was he just about finished?

He was, wasn’t he?

Before the flesh bud, Dio had a sudden thought of what would happen if the man had never pledged loyalty to him. There could’ve been a chance that he’d encounter one of the Joestar descendants— Joseph and/or his grandson, maybe— and used his abilities to help them instead of him. He would’ve revealed his abilities to them… he would’ve shown them other dimensions containing their counterparts. The counterparts, after all, typically had similar self-interests amongst each other, as he now remembered another one of the accounts that the man in the orange robing had given him. He was also aware of another ability of his— the one where he’d be able to pull objects or even  people  out of another dimension. Thus, as one of the Joestars here already had intentions of seeking him, then perhaps…

That just wouldn’t do.

After the flesh bud, he made sure to prevent that from happening, let alone by a Joestar that wasn’t even from this damn dimension. He wasn’t really in the mood to personally take care of any other Joestar except the ones from this dimension, the ones he has familiarized himself with.

“I should be, but… um, I digress,” the man in the orange robing announced now, voice tight.

He was feeling guilty. His facial expression was giving those thoughts away— he swore that the dimension with the sex-switched Joestars was the last one— he himself had planned this, as well—  but… there was something about that…

Indeed, Dio was curious about what he was going to say next. At the very least, it would be a nice courtesy to know why he wasn’t finished yet. He was already getting a bit off schedule here.

“…Jonathan Joestar’s great-great-grandson will be having a child in another dimension, and he’s the first counterpart to do so. He served as a surrogate father for his friend’s wife, and only mere hours ago did she discover her pregnancy.”

01

A Promise, Part 1

2011 || Japan

November 25 was when it happened. It hasn’t even been a whole fucking week.

The fact that you were managing to get through studying for final exams with that going on— swimming and flying around your head and its thoughts— was a goddamn miracle. You remembered the few times when your eyes would focus on some nondescript item around you, causing your hand to absentmindedly let go of whatever it held. A few acquaintances innocently approached you, asking if you were alright as you crammed in the library or the dining hall (all on the same day, as after a few hours you desperately needed a change of environment).

Besides those places and the convenience store nearby, you didn’t plan to go out anywhere else in public since it happened. Actually, you didn’t even want to go out and show yourself to all of Tokyo. You didn’t bother to show up to any of your classes today, disrupting your perfect informally-kept record of attendance.

Oh, I understand! Finals’ season is just ridiculous.

Hey, we’re gonna graduate soon, aren’t we? Just need to plow through and the year will be up.

Nah, calm down, no worries.

You’re majoring in engineering! Of course it’s going to be overwhelming as hell.

Shouldn’t you be used to that feeling by now?

You should be used to that feeling.

Actually, you already are. Though, it wasn’t test anxiety or whatnot that was bothering the hell out of you. Well, besides the fact that apparently, you come off as someone ridiculously worried about exams, so much so that no one could really identify any other issues with you…

But it hasn’t even been a whole fucking week. Just yesterday, on November 25.

Friday.

You were barely given enough time to process everything.

You actually weren’t even there when it happened, as that day, you were, well… you were four hours away by plane from Tokyo. Even with the distance, you were still too far and too late.

In no way did you want to spend the hard-earned money you got as a research assistant— which wasn’t much to begin with, but hey, it’s money— on a plane trip. However, nausea was slowly starting to kick in during the days before that, so you had no choice unless you ultimately decided to vomit on the way to or on the train.

Iwami-chō was coastal, located in the western region of Japan, and was where your family home was located. No one was staying there at the moment, but it would be inhabited again if your father traveled home from America, or if you had decided to attend a local university instead. You would normally stop by every few months to tend to the plants around your house or see a few old faces. Your husband was fine with that; he sometimes accompanied you even, when he wasn’t busy.

Yeah...

Your husband.

The first thing you missed was Noriaki Kakyoin’s scent, along with his warmth— physical and/or emotional. Now, you know that probably sounds fucking weird, but you’re already finding it hard to abruptly adjust to the lacked presence after being surrounded by it for a few years. You wouldn’t forget how his embraces felt, how his well-defined arms clad in his usual long sleeves would wrap around you tightly.

Or even in other circumstances, where he’d snake a naked arm around you in bed after sex. He’d pull you to his chest as you both retired for the night, skin still slightly sticky with a thin sheet of sweat on your faces, or cum near your thighs and lower abdomens— both fluids you both tried to clean post-orgasm. Beforehand, though, he always liked to savor the sight of your naked body before he’d help clean everything up and drift off to sleep.

He never hesitated to act so lovingly and genuine to you, even while generally being more on the reserved side. Nor did you ever hesitate to reciprocate those feelings. You remembered when he (abashedly) admitted to you that you were one of the few people that he could genuinely be himself around— this occurred sometime during winter break of your first year at university. That list of trustworthy people to Noriaki wasn’t very long in the first place, he said, and you understood. His past, as he also disclosed to you, definitely had an influence on that. Your heart reached out to him— you knew he was a man that experienced a lot throughout his life. The least you could do was to make him look forward to his future.

Wait.

You’re… getting carried away.

—

What happened yesterday happened at around 4 PM. You were still at Iwami-chō, and… you think you were talking to an old classmate of yours who dropped by. Sitting at the heated low table drinking warm tea, reminiscing about high school before you had moved to Tokyo while she opted for the local university. A small part of you became jealous, nonetheless; you remembered the visits to the vast sand dunes and the coastal inlet a short drive away or the walks to and from school on the pavement near the ocean, whiffing the scent of brine almost daily. Your memories here before leaving for university all came back at once.

Though, you couldn’t remember the events of today so vividly anymore, because upon arriving back to Tokyo late at night, everything that happened earlier was immediately wiped from memory. All you started to remember was what happened the second you arrived. To be so innocent and naïve, speaking with a friend and expecting to return to the small apartment you and your husband both shared later that evening, while said man was getting murdered in said place during that time. There was no doubt that he, too, had the same thoughts on when you’d arrive home before he wasn’t capable of thinking any longer.

…You couldn’t believe it when you found out. There was no fucking way, and yet it still happened…

The neighbors had heard a loud commotion coming from your apartment around that time, first mistaking it as your husband and you having sex (which was strange to think about, but… if you were in a hell of a better mood now, you’d be snickering at that assumption— maybe Noriaki would too as he had a hidden knack for that type of humor). Initially, they were extremely—  and you mean extremely—  pissed off to hear such noises coming from the apartment next door/across the hall, especially as some had children they wanted to protect the ears of. They were just about ready to collectively write complaint letters for the building’s manager on you two.

Though their suspicions became gradually more gruesome as they heard objects break, men yelling, walls banging, floor thudding, and whatnot.

Suddenly, the sound died completely.

It became eerily quiet.

…they didn’t like that at all.

Anyway, it was almost 9 PM when you came home.

You remember collapsing to your knees upon arriving, your kneecaps bluntly coming into contact with the hard flooring. They stung— you remembered, somehow— and the skin covering them probably reddened, but that was the least of your worries.

One could imagine your face when you first saw fucking barricade tape in front of the route to yours and Noriaki’s apartment. At least a billion fucking questions swarmed through your mind, all variations of the same one…

What in the ever-loving fuck happened?

Turns out, your neighbors had been the one to call the police while you were away. Initially calling to complain about the noise coming from the apartment in hopes of some police intervention, there was another reason they decided to call.

The neighbors had reportedly heard three different male voices in the apartment, because maybe the walls were a bit thin in this building. Though, they were aware that a woman lived there too… but why weren’t they hearing her voice? Why were there two more men, also? As far as they knew, one man and one woman lived in the apartment, as they both usually left the building around the same time as the neighbors who were fellow university students, possibly-hungover salarymen, or the mothers taking their children out with her as she did errands.

You weren’t alerted of anything while you were in Iwami-chō, so everything became a nasty surprise for you, increasingly becoming more gruesome as the night went on… increasingly making you in denial. Your train of thought started to shut down, refusing to even acknowledge the circumstances. This wasn’t… this wasn’t what you wanted. Never in your life did you actually want this to happen to you— fuck, no one wanted this type of shit to happen to them— but of course, you were one of the unfortunate ones that night.

Why one of them?

Well…

“Let me see my husband!” you uncharacteristically shrieked, trying to advance to the apartment door and barge through it. Your arms were held back by a police officer who rushed over to you, locking your arms behind your back as you tried to use all the strength you developed over the years to get the  hell out of that strong officer’s hold and see the man you had only just seen this morning.

This morning, like every other morning, Noriaki had his bed-hair— red locks poking out here and there while the voluminous bang hung on the side of his face was unbelievably frizzy. He also had the cases of morning breath and morning wood, which always made you snicker.

This morning, which only happens if he has time, Noriaki offers to cook breakfast. He knows that like him, you usually leave the house at a designated early time for class, grabbing the most convenient food item for your commute from yogurt to pre-sliced fruit. Though, as you had no class today, and you were also traveling back to Iwami-chō for the day, you decided to squeeze in the rare luxury of sitting down to eat breakfast with your husband.

This morning, which he always loves to do, Noriaki plants kisses on your neck and collar bones, everywhere on your face, and on your knuckles. He nuzzles his face into your neck as he wraps his arms around your waist; though, as you’re a little shorter than him, you sort of feel bad by how he has to tilt his head in order for his chin to reach your shoulder. His embraces are usually warm, tight, though this time he’s a little cautious in his hug, knowing that there’s life starting to grow inside you.

This morning, and all mornings, afternoons, and evenings, he tells you he loves you. He can’t wait to be a father. He lightly rubs your lower abdomen; albeit, without any sign of a bump, but he knows there will be one at some point. He wishes you a safe trip to your hometown, wishing that he could go with you, but he can’t. He has class today. He never liked skipping class, despite his close friend opting to do so nearly every day back in high school, as Noriaki recounted.

You understood his wishes, but you knew that he’ll be back for you when you return later. He always was.

He always was, he always was…

But why wasn’t he coming back now?

“Let— me— see— my— husband!” You emphasized even more, now. You didn’t care anymore if anyone nearby found your shrieks jarring. You kept repeating this—  your voice was hoarse, your limbs were getting tired from trying and trying, just hoping you’d get to have even one last look at your husband. It didn’t matter about the state he was in; you barely even considered the chance that there may not even be enough of him left to actually see.

Of course, you fucking sobbed. Your cheeks were damp with tears that just settled on your skin after the rounds of sobs, but even as your eyes stung, you stared at the door. You stared at the door in longing, hoping— just hoping that your husband would be warm-blooded and well, opening the door and sauntering through and over to you. His lean body would be against yours as you both embraced one another, your head resting on his chest.

The front door of yours and Noriaki's apartment opened.

Two body bags were being carried— wait. Fuck, hold on. Why… why were there… two…

Your breath hitched in your throat, limbs freezing in place upon realization.

The other bag contained a body that was quite longer than the other one, as if… as if… no, no, no, fuck no… as if it was meant for a person of uncommonly tall stature.

You were, quite literally, going to have a massive fucking breakdown.

Noriaki wasn’t alone. He wasn’t alone— he wasn’t alone at all. Jotaro was with him— it had to be Jotaro, because who the fuck was as tall as Jotaro here. Jotaro was keeping him company while you were gone for the day… he doesn’t usually have class on this day, either—  oh my fucking God—

The sight of your husband— well, you didn’t really have to see what remained of him to know that it was Noriaki in the other bag— made you queasy. Normally, you could stomach this sort of stuff, but you could zip down that bag if you were permitted to and probably both cry and vomit at the sight.

You didn’t want to believe it.

You didn’t want to believe that Noriaki wasn’t alive, but dead inside a bag and being carried out by gloved and protected individuals. You didn’t want to believe that Jotaro was dead, either. You didn’t want to believe that both of them were murdered at the same time, at the same place. You didn’t want to believe that you’d never see them again…

Your legs felt weak. Hushed conversations and worried whispers from your adult neighbors were all surrounding your ears, but none of their words were distinguishable. You could practically feel the irritation, grief, and impatience radiating off of them. Your eyes didn’t focus on anyone in particular anymore. Law enforcement workers were walking in and out with equipment, and every time you’d see that door open, you’d see varying-sized splatters of blood and broken or fallen furniture through that opening.

Your mind went blank as tears effortlessly flowed down your cheeks.

A lot happened afterwards, but you were pretty much on autopilot for the next few hours.

You wished it was just a mere nightmare.

Yet, you didn’t even sleep that night, rendering that wish useless.

Well, actually, the lack of sleep was common practice for you, as you already had the tendency to stay up late at night just studying or carrying out various projects. Though during these times, you were still able to fit about an hour or two of sleep— it was fine.

This night, however, you actually didn’t sleep.

At all.

Initially, the events you witnessed were replaying over and over again as tears continued to collect, sting, and flow down from your eyes, wetting your pillow and the futon.

Though, eventually, your mind kept rewinding to events that you weren’t bound to forget any time soon.

Fall to Winter, 2008

It was mid-September— the start of the second semester— when you met Noriaki for the first time.

As it was yours and his first year of college, you were both taking an introductory programming class, and by chance ended up sitting next to one another.

By now, you were just about getting used to typical university life— studying, exams, more studying, some use of office hours, more exams, even more studying— with some extra room for clubs, research, and trying not to bawl from stress in your bedroom. As an engineering major, your GEs had much more weight than other majors, so you were frantically trying to keep up with your studies as your high school friends— non-STEM majors now— were going out and not even giving any semblance of a shit about university.

It didn’t help that despite you and your high school friends all coming from Iwami-chō, most of you got into different universities throughout Tokyo. You wouldn’t be able to see everyone else as often due to the distance. Even while cramming, you couldn’t help but feel a bit lonely at times.

That is until Noriaki decided to sit next to you in that programming class. To be fair, he did admit to you later that there weren’t many seats left in the room that day.

Maybe that was a good thing. Whatever those superstitious blog posts you’ve occasionally come across in the past spewed about the existence of fate seemed to come back to memory.

He, too, had felt some inexplicable impulse to sit next to you. Initially, it piqued his interest— he played with the idea of you being like him, but he didn’t mind it any longer as you showed none of the signs.

Anyway, for the first month, neither of you spoke a word to each other. At the very least, you did acknowledge each other’s presence, such as making what-the-fuck side glances at each other when the professor says something out of both of your grasps. It was an oddly comforting coping mechanism to the rigor of the course.

You occasionally glance over at him— his quick hand as he writes notes, or when he puts on his black-framed reading glasses right before class begins. Early on, you did notice the little cherry earrings that he wears, which oddly worked for him. Green seemed to be his favorite color, as different hues of it were often incorporated into his outfits.

Likewise, he notices your fully-focused and pensive expression as you absorb all of the professor’s lecture. He remembered trying to think at one point of just how many oversized flannels you owned, as you wore variations of them a lot— you wearing flannel reminded him a bit of the old grunge fads he remembered seeing in American media as a kid (or, as Noriaki would later joke to you two or three years later, like the other earthy yama girls he’d see around campus), but he doubts you were intending to follow that style so religiously.

One day, however, Noriaki did something that surprised you.

He used some old scratch paper for outlining, but at the top in his  perfect handwriting:

This class is tough  、  right? — Noriaki

He discreetly passes it to you as the professor continues to drone on about the new functions you all had to learn. You’re taking a few notes when you see the paper in your peripheral view, eyes slowly widening. Pausing from writing the next bullet point, you slowly glance from the paper to its sender Noriaki. He was staring back at you with lavender-grey eyes— something you hadn’t really taken the time to notice until now due to his reading glasses, but they were gorgeous.

You wait for the professor to turn to face the screen, which in that case you efficiently take the paper from him. At the top, you saw his words in his handwriting, which frankly made your characters look like shit.

You  do  write back, though:

Definitely! So many functions to learn  。  Syntax is too wordy  。 Headache-inducing  。:( ~  You

You swiftly hand the paper back to him, attempting to make it as unsuspicious as possible. Fortunately, no one really notices, as everyone else around you two is hastily writing down the notes. Anyway, you knew the information would be in the textbook, and you were betting that he probably knew too.

He’s silently snickering at your written response— you see the outer corners of his eyes crinkle as he grins, which was actually really cute— and he’s already writing his own response before handing the paper back to you.

Seriously that man had some nice handwriting.

You were probably blushing already; you lifted the back of your hand to your face as you read his response, feeling the sudden warmth that arose in your cheeks— damnit.

I agree!  (╬ಠ益ಠ)  !!!!!

[LOL]  Anyway what degree are you studying for? — Noriaki

You stifled your giggle at his detailed drawing as you wrote:

Electrical and Electronic Engineering

Yeah I know I’m lame… ~ You

You swore that the professor looked in both yours and Noriaki’s direction right as you were about to give the paper back to him. Though it was merely the glare of light against the middle-aged man’s lenses, and he actually wasn’t looking at you two at all. Slowly exhaling in relief, you hand him the paper, knowing you both were thinking the same thing.

Noriaki’s eyes widened a bit as he wrote another response.

What??? It’s actually cool

I’m pursuing Computer Science  。  I want to do game development one day 。

That’s   lame!!  >:O  — Noriaki

And you both do this for the rest of class, definitely getting noticed by the professor who just decides that it’s really not worth his time to call you both out at that point.

that sounds super cool  、  what are you even talking about? ~ You

You think so?  — Noriaki

Yes!!! ~ You

。

。

。

Hey so I see your name already… my name is Noriaki Kakyoin

You wanna review each other’s code?  

Do you want to be ‘partners’ for the required peer review?

I think it will be really helpful  、  especially since we’re in related majors too

also since we sit next to each other ^_^

You snicker at the first question he wrote and crossed out— due to it sounding more like an innuendo— but you notice at the bottom… wait, oh—

It was his phone number.

Noriaki lets you keep the paper as the class comes to an end, the sound of everyone packing their utensils and whatnot filling the room. He’s going to head to his next class, he says aloud, as you were sliding your notebook inside your backpack, making you realize that that was the first time he had actually spoken to you aloud. His voice had a very warm timbre to it— it was really nice— and you glance up at him.

“Okay,” you responded, smiling at him. “What class?”

He’s lightly fixing the voluminous wavy bang on the side of his face as he answers you. You hadn’t really taken notice of that part of his hair either. Basically, there wasn’t much that you really took the time to observe about him. In the beginning, Noriaki was just the guy that chose to sit next to you in a class, and you didn’t think anymore would come from that.

Yet, it’s as if every feature of his was being thrown at you all at once— his slender body, his defined arms (his slim-fitted sweater was making it so obvious), his angular jawline, his… fuck, don’t look down there.

“Calculus,” he exaggeratedly groaned, snapping you out of your thoughts. Noriaki didn’t seem to notice you eyeing him— well, if he did, he’s definitely not saying anything.

Wait, was he blushing?

You did giggle at his tone of voice, though, as he continued to speak in a relatively calm manner. “I’m here on campus until dinner time. I��ll be exhausted by then.”

“Not doubting that at all,” you cheekily commented. “I wish you luck… Noriaki. Hopefully, you know, our Single Variable Calculus class next won’t kill us before the semester ends.”

You wanted to laugh at his surprise with your words.

—

You met Noriaki’s friend Jotaro Kujo about a month after befriending him.

He wasn’t the most talkative man— something you quickly learned— but you could tell that he and Noriaki were very close. This became more obvious as you realized that it was as if Noriaki could read Jotaro’s thoughts and possible responses to anything he liked or annoyed him, for example.

Of course, Jotaro didn’t like that. Though, as Noriaki explained, it was easy enough to see right through that attitude of his.

On a whim, Noriaki decided to invite both you and Jotaro out to get coffee when you three weren’t busy. You and Noriaki had recently finished working on some coding project together a few days ago— which you both aced— and he thought going out sometime would be a good way to celebrate.

No, not that kind of ‘going out’. Though, you occasionally did play with the idea of you dating him, despite its unlikeliness.

You were certain that he just viewed you as a friend, someone he could rely on while you two were bearing the brunt of heavy workloads. He text-messaged you on his new model of cellphone— a recent birthday gift from his parents— and oftentimes discussed school-related matters. Usually, it was among the lines of clarification for due dates or specific requirements for assignments and projects. Never about anything else. Your relationship with Noriaki was strictly platonic… which was exactly how you tried to convince yourself.

Of course, the ‘what-ifs’ returned when he text-messaged you about something other than… you don’t know, using Swing or complaining about generics. Embarrassment quickly swelled up once you noticed your almost-immediate responses— totally not from surprise because Noriaki asked you to go somewhere with him other than the library— but it slowly dissipated as the conversation went on.

Noriaki: Hey  、  do you want to head out to that café near Rinshinomori Park later?

[Delivered at 16:32]

You: Hi! So you mean the one like 10 mins away from campus?  

[Delivered at 16:32]

Noriaki: Yeah    

[Delivered at 16:32]

You: My friend’s sister runs that café ww but yes sure (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

[Delivered at 16:33]

Noriaki: That’s good!! Also, I didn’t know that ww

And if you don’t mind  、  I’d like to have a good friend of mine come too

He doesn’t like going out too often  Σ(-᷅_-᷄ ๑ )  wwww but I asked him and he actually said yes

Finally  

[Delivered at 16:35]

You: wwwww I don’t mind

Who is it?

[Delivered at 16:36]

“You said the sister of… your friend runs this place?” Noriaki remembered.

You nodded, silently thanking him as he chivalrously held the tempered glass door open for you. “Yeah— the one who swims for Hosei’s swim team.”

As you both had just finished taking an exam for your damned Calculus class today, you two decided to head to the café together. You waved at the owner, a woman only a few years your senior happily waving back as she held a canister of matcha powder.

Your friend, the sibling of the owner, was actually a friend of a friend; regardless, you all were treated the same by the owner as any other paying customer. There had been several occasions where you were invited to meet up with them and the rest of your friends here, though you had only gone about twice during the previous semester due to your cramped schedule.

On the other hand, were you feeling a bit guilty taking up the first chance of going here— by mere coincidence— with Noriaki, despite that? Was this the best time to start feeling conflicted about showing up in the first place?

“Oh, it looks like he showed up already.”

Noriaki tapped your shoulder, cocking his head a bit in the direction of his friend. Snapping out of your guilt-ridden thoughts, your gaze suddenly followed.

There— he was sitting at the back corner of the café with his shoulders hunched over. You could see the long, large white coat that he wore, along with the white cap that had its bill pulled down to cover the top half of his face. His long legs— clad with black slacks— were stretched out under the table, his feet already reaching the back legs of the chair right across from him. From what you could observe based on how his unruly hair stuck out, the back of his hat was ripped. Surely, it was on purpose.

The last time you’d seen that style was… a long time ago— as in, when you guys were barely born— and you couldn’t help but silently snicker to yourself.

He glanced up, smirking at the sight of Noriaki. However, the fact that his red-haired friend brought company finally registered in his mind, and his stare slowly landed on you— the shorter young woman with the oversized coat. You couldn’t tell what color eyes he had, but you swore that his eyes widened for just a moment before narrowing at the sight of you.

Hm.

You already didn’t know what his deal was, because he did not look anywhere near happy to see you.

Trailing behind Noriaki, you both approached the wooden table. You momentarily stood at a distance and snickered as you saw him and his friend do some handshake involving fist-bumps. It was pretty cute, to be honest. Then, glancing over his shoulder, Noriaki gestured over at you and introduced you to his friend. All that was received in response was some eye-blinking and a curt nod, yet you didn’t hesitate to give him a small wave with your hand.

“This is my friend from high-school, Jotaro Kujo,” the red-haired man introduced him as you both situated yourselves. Incidentally, you had to sit right across from Jotaro, while Noriaki sat on your right. “But he goes to Kaiyodai.”

“Oh, really? What’s your degree in?” you suddenly asked Jotaro in surprise, eyes widening.

Due to entrance exams and research for college prep last year, you were familiar with that school’s engineering departments, despite being geared towards marine technology. In fact, you probably would’ve considered going there if you didn’t pass the exam for your current school. Just your luck that Noriaki was friends with another engineer, though—!

“—Marine Biology.”

“…oh.”

That was how you replied after a moment, nodding slowly as you gave him a dumbfounded expression. You were trying your best to hide your disappointment, but you suppose that it was your fault for jumping to conclusions so quickly.

Jotaro grunted in response.

“You don’t sound too happy about that,” he observed, frowning. His voice was a rich baritone, but his tone wasn’t anywhere near warm like Noriaki’s.

You purse your lips, silently cursing to yourself.

Geez, you were really hoping he didn’t pick up on your underwhelmed thoughts, but you probably weren’t making much of an effort to conceal any corresponding emotions. Your thoughts were not connected to the fact that he was doing marine biology— you thought that stuff was pretty cool— but were, admittedly, teetering towards selfishness.

Jotaro’s impression of you, on the other hand, was quickly souring. Were you going to judge him for his choice of degree or something? People being haughty weren’t foreign to him; Noriaki himself displayed such traits on occasion, which usually just made Jotaro roll his eyes. Though, you probably met Noriaki during one of those occasions.

Suddenly, he’s wondering where the hell Noriaki even met you. He’s not in the mood to deal with some woman who looks down on people only because of their university degree. What else would you look down on?

“Um, no, sorry, that’s not— not what I meant to come off as,” you began cautiously, looking directly into his blue-green eyes this time. “I… I know about their engineering departments.”

Jotaro slowly blinks at you, broad shoulders relaxing all of a sudden.

Perhaps you weren’t regarding the wonderful scientific study of marine biology with disdain. Though, that alone didn’t convince Jotaro.

Your brows furrowed, however.

Did you already offend him to the point of being tense? You barely conversed with Noriaki’s friend for ten minutes, and there’s a high chance you’re already on his hit list. Although Noriaki was friends with the both of you, he had been friends with Jotaro for much, much longer than with you. You were sure that he’d prioritize Jotaro’s feelings before yours solely because of that.

Jotaro cleared his throat, ignoring his previous thoughts towards you. “Oh, yeah. Maritime Systems, Marine Electronics & Mechanical, and Logistics & Information. What they do is pretty interesting. I don’t know too much about it, though.”

“Ah, yeah…” You scratched the back of your neck, nervously chuckling. Maybe it was best to put that slip-up behind you. “I’m doing Electrical & Electronics at Tokodai, so I thought… you know, you’d be doing engineering too…”

Jotaro let out a curt hum in response.

He gestured to both you and Noriaki, though the latter was avoiding your eyes. Albeit, he was giving all of your orders to the server who just appeared— Noriaki knew that Jotaro liked espressos like he did, while you told him what you wanted on the train ride here— but he intermittently gave Jotaro a pointed look.

“So you two met at school…”

“Yes,” Noriaki interjected after ordering, hoping to dissipate the tension between you two. He noticed your surprise from being cut off, as you were going to respond initially, though he chose not to comment on it in the event that he’d worsen things. “Yes, we did. We’re partners for our programming class.”

Jotaro slowly nodded, refusing to take his hardened eyes off of you. You lightly tapped your fingers on the table surface, avoiding his stare.

The red-haired man sighed.

He could already tell that, yet again, Jotaro met someone that ruffled his feathers.

“Ah, anyway, um…” he began, eyes darting between you and Jotaro again. Both of you blinked at Noriaki, puzzled by the hesitant expression he suddenly wore. “Eh… Jotaro. You’re… wearing different pants than the ones you usually wear.”

Jotaro absentmindedly picked at the collar of his black turtleneck. He’s suddenly reminded of eating the tagliatelle al ragù that his mother made and dropped off for him earlier, along with the hissed swears he let out when he spilled some of the noodles onto his pants and the rug beneath him.

“I stained my white pants,” he commented with a sour expression, trying to drown out the sudden sound of Noriaki’s snickers. “I haven’t worn these pants in a while.”

“They look a little like the pants from our old school uniform,” Noriaki observed, quickly glancing under the table to take a look. Jotaro gave him a deadpanned look, though he was even less thrilled when you opted to look under too, noticing how he— for some reason— wore two belts patterned with tessellated triangles. “…they’re not from a school uniform set, right?”

He scoffed. “Of course not. My old man bought these pants for me as a gift for Christmas last year— some designer American brand… you know how he is. I’m only wearing them as a last resort… I had them shoved somewhere in the back of my closet.”

“How thoughtful of you,” the redhead sarcastically complimented.

What Jotaro said made you raise a brow, so you decided to speak up. “You celebrate Christmas?”

Now, the black-haired man’s gaze was directed at you once again. Blue-green eyes pierced into your own, staring for a moment as his face had an unreadable expression.

He sighed.

“Yes.”

And that was all he replied to you, though you expected more of an explanation.

You slowly blinked at him, waiting for said elaboration. It never arrived. Both of you were awkwardly staring at each other until Noriaki cleared his throat to speak in Jotaro’s place.

“Jotaro’s mother’s side of the family— including his grandfather— is American,” Noriaki explained to you softly, briefly giving Jotaro a pointed look yet again due to his taciturnity. “Or, well, eh, American, but natively British and Italian—“

While refusing to stop staring— no, he was glaring— at you (what the hell), Jotaro abruptly and monotonously interjected, “—I’m half White.”

Well, that explained a lot. Like how he seemed like he could tower over every male in Japan, or how his face had hints of Eurocentric features, or how he pretty much seemed like he had the genes of a family that could bench press a fucking airplane.

You blinked quickly at him.

“So you must’ve learned English too when you were younger, no?” you inquired curiously. While living in the old, rural part of Japan for the first few years of being in the country, you haven’t really met a lot of native English speakers— not that it bothered you. You suppose that as alumni of a high school in a major metropolitan area, Noriaki and Jotaro would have more exposure to the language.

“Eh… sure,” Jotaro replied, uncharacteristically offhanded. All of a sudden, his glare was nonexistent, nor was he directly focused on you anymore.

Noriaki rolled his eyes. “He basically never paid attention during English class in high school, nor did he actually do the homework.”

Jotaro irritatedly sighed, and you swore a blush crept on his cheeks. Though, if it did, he was lucky that the bill of his hat covered most of it now that he pulled it down lower. “I didn’t need to,” he gruffly insisted. “I can understand English.”

“We’re speaking Japanese right now and we still had to take classes for twelve years,” Noriaki reminded exasperatedly.

The black-haired man grunted, avoiding both Noriaki’s deadpanned face and your own amused one.

Eventually, the coffee meant for the three of you arrived, its aroma wafting in front of you. As time went on— really slowly, you add— you started to observe a pattern as you all drank.

Noriaki spoke the most as you came in a close second, while all that Jotaro offered in your conversations were nods, hums, grunts, or one-word responses. When you would speak, usually to contribute to whatever Noriaki said before, you could notice Jotaro staring you down like a hawk. As if there’d be a time when you’d slip-up again as you talked, Jotaro was looking for yet another reason to dislike you.

And each time he’d done so, Noriaki would be on the brink of glaring back at him in response.

“I’m heading to the toilet,” you told Noriaki later as you began to stand up from your chair. Your coffee mug was only half-full at this point. “It won’t take long.”

“Alright,” he replied, smiling at you. Jotaro’s brows furrowed as you stood up and walked away. You left your coat and small backpack on the seat of the chair.

Turning his head to see where you were headed, which was the hallway to the bathroom, Jotaro whipped his head back to Noriaki. The redhead blinked back at him. He had been meaning to check up on his friend ever since you and him both arrived, because he clearly looked unsettled by your presence. This wasn’t new to Noriaki, however. Jotaro would easily get irritated by meeting new people the second they spoke, though he’d calm down considerably once he became better acquainted with them. It was a long process, but it happened.

All of a sudden, Star Platinum was manifested behind him.

Noriaki gave Jotaro a look of disbelief. This was a first.

Just how much did he dislike you already? He had never gotten his Stand out while meeting people before— which was already a risk by itself— but today of all days, he decides to summon it in a fucking coffee shop. Who knows if they’d end up getting into a quarrel with anyone else like them here?

“Who is that?” Jotaro hissed, using the purple humanoid Stand to double-check, ensuring that you were actually no longer in their proximity. Luckily, no one else in the shop seemed to notice its presence besides him and Noriaki, so that was one less issue to worry about. Star Platinum didn’t go very far— only to the beginning of the hallway— and noticed your absence. You weren’t lying, after all.

The last thing he wanted was for you to return, however, having forgotten something like— he didn’t know, tampons or some shit— and hearing him talk about you. There was also the possibility of you seeing Star Platinum if you returned, though he knew that his and Noriaki’s abilities were rare. Even if you  were  like them— which you weren’t, as Jotaro has already inferred— you’d probably pretend like you weren’t.

That’s what all the others do, anyway.

Noriaki massaged his temples with one hand. “I already told you— it’s the girl from my Java class. We formally met last month, even though we’ve been sitting next to each other since the semester started  and put your fucking Stand away.”

“Yet you invited her to be… with us.” Star Platinum had already faded out of view, though Noriaki craned his neck a bit to make sure.

Jotaro really hadn’t changed one bit since high school. Granted, it hasn’t even been a year since graduation, and the memory of having to wear tailored suits for the event and celebrating afterwards was still fresh in Noriaki’s mind. He knew that Jotaro wasn’t exactly the type of person to completely change his attitude once he got to university.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” the redhead replied, brows creasing. “I like her and—“

Jotaro interjected with a raised brow, “—you like her?”

“I—“ Noriaki abruptly paused, suddenly realizing how that statement began. His face started to heat, color resembling his own hair. “That’s not what I— eh— um…“

His black-haired friend gave him a deadpanned look before rubbing his face with one hand, his hat being slightly pushed up in the process.

“Good grief.”

The redhead abashedly rubbed the back of his neck.

“Look, don’t ‘good grief’ me—“ Noriaki’s face scrunched up a bit, air exhaling through his nostrils as he silently fumed at his slip-up. “That’s… ugh, okay. I don’t want to, um… I don’t want to come off as some desperate loner to her.”

“Have you already?”

Noriaki rolled his eyes.

“No,” he boldly responded before backtracking. “…at least I hope not. I’d die if I already have.”

Another deadpanned look from Jotaro as he sipped his espresso.

“Jotaro, I’ve only known her for about two months,” Noriaki explained, gesturing with both hands on the table beside his now-empty cup. “This is the first time that I’ve done something with her that  isn’t programming-related. I’m surprised she even said ‘yes’.”

Jotaro merely grunted in response, cueing Noriaki to continue speaking.

“I don’t want her to think that I’m… I don’t know, using her or, eh… leading her on purely for the sake of our grades, or… I guess something like that, you know?” he expressed bitterly.

“Noriaki, you just said earlier that you don’t want to come off as some ‘desperate loner’, yet now you’re saying that you don’t want to seem like you’re leading her on,” Jotaro dryly pointed out. “Those two actions don’t sound mutually exclusive, especially since we’re talking about you— self-proclaimed ‘epic gamer’ here…”

He started to trail off as a smirk arose on his face. Noriaki couldn’t help but titter with an amused glint in his eyes, even while he kicked Jotaro in the ankle right under the table.

“Stop it,” he amusedly dismissed.

“I’m serious,” Jotaro continued, vague hints of amusement still in his tone as he reached down to rub his ankle. “I think you should be honest with yourself, particularly about your feelings.”

Noriaki narrowed his eyes at his friend. “You aren’t even honest with your own feelings.”

“We aren’t talking about me here.”

“I’m not the one who always insulted my mom when she gave her goodbye smoochy to you before going to school, even though she knew you really cared—”

“—shut up,” Jotaro interjected, another blush creeping on his cheeks, though he hid his surprise  and embarrassment with a glare. How he managed to forget that he used to walk to school with Noriaki nearly every day— when he didn’t ditch— was a mystery to him. “That’s different.”

“No, it’s not,” Noriaki simply denied. “But… you’re right, though, about being honest about my feelings because— I mean, eh, I… I do like her. I like her very much— I… she’s smart, funny, warm… she seems like the type of person to really care about everyone, and makes everyone feel at ease… you know?”

Jotaro quirked a brow.

Hearing his red-haired friend speak so… fondly about someone was so strange. That lovey-dovey language… who even was Noriaki? Who the hell was Jotaro speaking with? That same Noriaki, the one who bothered to truly befriend only him in high school because of their shared and shamed ability? The one who turned occasionally up his nose at anyone and anything that didn’t meet whatever standards he had? The one who also liked watching baseball games, jammed out to Sting, and played with fruit every time he’d eat it?

Perhaps.

“Huh… you really do like her.”

“…yeah.”

Noriaki was beyond flustered at this point. Though, he guesses he should’ve expected that he’d be the one to change first upon entering university, between the two of them.

“I mean…” the black-haired man continued, leaning back in his chair as he crossed his arms over his broad chest. “I personally don’t know if that’s how I’d describe her— I don’t know her that well. If you see her that way, considering you’ve known each other for a while, well… ah…”

“It’s not weird, is it?” Noriaki suddenly inquired, brows creasing in worry.

Jotaro was caught off guard by his words.

“What? N— no. It’s  not  weird. How the hell is that weird?”

Noriaki backtracked. “No— it’s just… you know. I’ve never… had feelings like this before. I’m not exactly an expert here.”

“Neither am I,” his friend gruffly confessed, absentmindedly playing with a nearby napkin sheet. At least Noriaki was self-aware about his situation, Jotaro thought. “But as I said, I do know you have to be honest with yourself about these kinds of things—“

Another kick in the ankle made Jotaro hiss in pain as he spoke. Noriaki subtly quirked his eyebrows in your direction. He conveniently ignored his friend’s glare and clenched jaw. You had just walked out of the hallway, seeing Jotaro’s head hung a little lower and Noriaki’s warm smile as he folded his arms over his chest.

“Sorry if I took too long,” you apologized as you got yourself seated again. “I was helping this tourist out in the restroom, you know how they are…”

Jotaro lifted his head to eye you yet again.

“No, no, you’re fine,” Noriaki calmly dismissed with a wave of a hand and a smirk. He glanced over at Jotaro again, who resorted to narrowing his eyes at him.

As you settled back into your wooden chair, your eyes slowly traveled from Noriaki to Jotaro, and vice versa. Pursing your lips, you couldn’t help but feel something off all of a sudden. Maybe they met someone they disliked while you were gone? A spilled order? Noriaki’s green utility parka nor Jotaro’s impeccable and long white coat showed any signs of stain. So…

“Ah… did something… happen while I was gone?” you asked cautiously, eyes now darting between the two.

Jotaro merely continued to stare, slowly using his foot to apply pressure on Noriaki’s brown boot. Noriaki pursed his lips, feeling the weight of his black-haired friend’s oxford-clad foot. He knew exactly what Jotaro was thinking… what he wanted him to say, to be specific.

“No— eh, nothing happened,” he hastily responded, quickly lifting a hand to fix his voluminous bang. His hand was starting to tremble; he hoped you didn’t notice his swelling nervousness. “We were just talking.”

After a moment of hesitation, you nodded in response.

You heard Jotaro grunt across from you.

Turning your head to him, you could see that he averted his eyes. He rested his chin on his palm as he propped his elbow up on the table, staring at some indistinct area on the hardwood floor. The indistinct sounds of chatter from the other café occupants filled all of your ears, as the three of you didn’t bother to comment on whatever happened any longer. ‘Just talking’ didn’t cut it for you, if you had to be honest, but you doubt you could figure out what was really going on without potentially making the situation worse. You were sure that it wasn’t any of your business, either.

All of a sudden, you felt as if a breeze had drifted past you. It wasn’t the entrance, however, as you three were all too far from that intermittently-opening door. Your back abruptly started to feel a lot colder, as if you sat directly in front of an open industrial freezer. Though, you didn’t mind it as you chose to speak up again.

“Ah, well…” you began, giving both Noriaki and Jotaro a small smile. “Anyway, uh, about the tourist I was helping out in the restroom. She was very nice— a tourist from Italy, she told me. She was telling me about wanting to bring her uncle Caesar here to Japan, but… he’s quite old, and he’s heard bad stories from his longtime best friend, apparently. So she decided to bring her nephew Bruno— yeah, I know, I see both of your faces. I don’t even know why she bothered to tell me such personal details, what a bizarre woman…”

As the time together went on, there was one thing you had no clue about. Jotaro had manifested Star Platinum with the sole purpose of glaring you down from behind when  he  wasn’t able to.

There was at least one thing you were able to figure out, however.

—

You were certain that Noriaki’s friend didn’t like you very much.

“I’m pretty sure your friend doesn’t like me very much,” you told Noriaki in verbatim afterwards.

You were both walking back to the train station together, where you’d then part ways. At this time, Noriaki already had his own apartment, though he apparently did the apartment-hunting with Jotaro and even took advice from Jotaro’s real-estate tycoon grandfather. On the other hand, you were currently rooming with your old high school friend as it was nearly impossible for you to rent property as a non-citizen. You were a bit embarrassed by your predicament, even if it would eventually be solved in less than two years.

The redhead shook his head, tittering. It seemed like he’s heard those words before.

“No, no, it’s just… give him time to warm up to you. He’s like that to everybody, don’t worry.”

You raised a brow at him.

“Everybody? Even you?” you repeated incredulously. When he merely nodded, your brows creased in confusion. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, no, I am,” Noriaki replied as a matter-of-fact. “We didn’t start off on the right foot— he was a bit of an ass in high school, but not so much anymore.”

“How so?” you inquired, before backtracking. “I mean… how was he an ass in high school? I wasn’t, ah… sorry, I didn’t mean that as if I thought he was an ass  now  because he’s not— um, yeah.”

Noriaki chuckled at the sight of you awkwardly rubbing the back of your neck.

You wanted to waste away at this moment. The last thing you wanted was for him to think that you were blatantly insulting his friend, because you weren’t intending to at all. Though, to be fair, he did seem rather unfriendly to you. Maybe he was just shy or something? You couldn’t blame him for something like that. But if he  wasn’t  shy and  was  intentionally acting like that to you, well…

“No, it’s alright,” he calmly dismissed, throwing you off guard. “Jotaro just… has a hard time communicating with people about how he feels. Instead, he sort of just assumes that everyone can easily read his emotions, so he doesn’t feel like he has to make an effort to be expressive… you know?”

Oh.

Nodding slowly, you replied with an ounce of hesitation. This time, you were really trying to be cautious of your words. “So… is that why he acted so… cold?”

He sighed, quickly rubbing his bare hands together. “Yes— but like I said, just, ah… give him time to warm up to you. Jotaro tends to be pretty paranoid about meeting new people— like when he met me— but after spending time together, we’ve become used to each other’s company and became good friends. He’s a really nice person once you get to know him.”

“…I see.”

Maybe he was right, you were thinking. He had been friends with him for a long time so it made sense that he’d know most— if not all— of Jotaro’s idiosyncrasies. Jotaro managed to warm up to Noriaki, and though you didn’t actually know how long that took, it happened regardless. If the redhead was true to his word— which you couldn’t really doubt— you better be prepared for a friendship with the quiet, buff marine biologist-to-be. He’d better be prepared for one with you too: the currently-broke, immigrant engineer-to-be.

You sighed, shoving your hands into your pockets. It was a long day, and after that godawful calculus test and the coffee break with Noriaki and Jotaro, all you wanted now was to return to yours and your friend’s apartment. Maybe your friend was already home, preparing dinner. You practically had the smell of the same food he constantly liked to grill implanted in your senses.

Noriaki, on the other hand, wished that he’d be able to walk with you for longer. He liked your presence. Your perfume smelled quite nice— that was a weird thought— and he enjoyed seeing how expressive your face was when you would talk. Every furrow of the brow when something confused you, how your eyes seemed to gleam like stardust when you spoke of something that you were passionate about, or the pleasing sound of your laugh as you told him weird and/or funny stories.

At some point, he wondered if you noticed how physically close you both had gotten while walking, elbows nearly bumping one another. In fact, you did notice, and it was making you blush.

That time, you avoided meeting Noriaki’s eyes for a moment.

Little did you two know, however, these walks would be happening much more often, to the point where he’d go the opposite route just to walk you back to yours and your friend’s apartment. Most of the time, your friend would already be home and calmly welcomed you back. He and Noriaki would give awkward but courteous nods to one another.

You recalled the time that Noriaki asked what your friend’s deal was, which made you more amused than offended. It occurred to Noriaki that you were, in fact, aware of the subtle awkwardness between him and your friend/roommate.

“I don’t know… he might just not be used to the sight of me being ‘mushy’ with anyone, ‘tis all,” you casually explained during another one of your walks back home with him. “I mean, I was close to him and my other friends in high school, but not close-close like I am with you now, you know?”

Close like you are with him, now.

Hearing you say that only made Noriaki yearn for a future with you even more.

Gradually, you and Noriaki even got physically closer, as you’d frequently bump elbows when walking or knees when sitting or, in your case, hug his arm if a breeze drifted by. Though you questioned his motives for accompanying you a few times, he’d just brush it off and say it wasn’t a big deal.

The man was lucky he got a free train pass as a university student— he’d easily be reserving over half of his expenses over train passes to where you stayed. If that didn’t show any sort of commitment already, you didn’t know what will. All for the sake of accompanying you home.

During one of your all-nighters at home, you leaned back in your desk chair, blankly staring at the ceiling. Your A818 Walkman had long been done playing the playlist you set up. An obscenely long and unfinished block of code was currently on your laptop screen, the cursor continuing to blink next to the string you recently typed. Yet again, you were distracted. With the same thoughts, no less.

It was a no-brainer, but you also knew better than to quickly jump to conclusions. There was a lot of evidence to prove that Noriaki liked you— beyond your initially-planned arrangement of being reviewers for each other’s programs. Though perhaps, you didn’t know, maybe he was just accompanying you home out of courtesy? To be nice? You two were already friends, after all. Best to look out for one another, right? You’d treat him the same too.

However, in less than two months, you came to realize that you were correct in jumping to such a conclusion.

One of the lightly snowy days in December was when Noriaki first kissed you on the apartment’s doorstep after you almost slipped on the station floor earlier… which you were still incredibly embarrassed about. The onlookers, the sadness knowing that your rubber soles weren’t as sturdy as you thought, the fact that you nearly face-planted in front of a man you liked.

Of course, he did have some help from Hierophant Green while catching you, ultimately preventing you from falling face-first. You were practically holding onto his arm for dear life, feeling a firm hold around your own arm and waist. You knew it was from Noriaki, but… was he really that strong? Were his arms longer than you thought, being able to catch and pull you from that distance?

That no longer mattered to you as you kissed him back now, letting your hands gently cup his warm and flushed cheeks. You were melting into his kiss— his lips were really soft— and as insane as it sounded, you were quite ready to lose oxygen if it meant being able to kiss him for an eternity…

The front door opened.

Noriaki’s hold on you tightened just a smidgen. You were equally frozen in your spots, eyes slowly opening and averting to the perpetrator. Both of your lips had already unlocked.

Your friend held the door open, keys in his pocket and a white garbage bag in his other hand. He merely blinked at the two of you, seemingly unsurprised by what he had just walked in on.

“...we live in front of a park. I believe this is the time all the kids go home; it’s a lot quieter outside now. Also, it’s nice with… the trees. Go there.”

As he sauntered towards the stairwell with the rustling bag, you and Noriaki were silent for a few seconds until you both started to laugh.

Hysterically.

Never in a millennium did you two expect to be caught nearly making out in front of your front door, but it happened. At some point you wheezed out an apology as your friend casually returned to the apartment’s door, scolding you specifically for the growing laughter between you two. Hearing him laugh this hard was completely foreign to you, if you had to be honest, but the way he did it was making yours even more unrestrained. You and Noriaki had already resorted to tightly gripping the railing to prevent yourselves from rolling around on the floor.

Written complaints from your neighbors were certainly going to come in within the next few days.

Eventually, you two did calm down, and Noriaki had his arm wrapped around you due to the cold. You rested your head against his chest, feeling his chin on top of your head. Holding the railing was proven redundant, as you both ended up sliding down to sit loosely cross-legged and rest your backs against the railing. Sure, the thought of going back inside to avoid the dropping temperatures sounded nice, but neither of you couldn’t bear to let go of one another within the next few minutes.

At that moment, as he asked you to be his girlfriend— eventually, wife, a few years later— you knew things were going to look up for the both of you.

November 26, 2011

“[Motherfucker],” you grumbled quietly in English.

Your hand was patting around on the floor next to your futon, hoping to find your phone.

The living room you were sleeping in was pitch black due to the blackout curtains that were installed on the windows, so the chances of you grabbing the familiar device were rather low at the moment. You weren’t even in your own living room, which the layout of was drastically different from the one you were currently on the floor of. To think that yours was currently being investigated because of… that.

You felt yourself wanting to heave at the mere thought of it, but like any sensible person, you realize that this isn’t a situation that you can easily avoid. As of yesterday, you became a widow. The circumstances leading up to that were unclear to you— there were at least a trillion questions that continued to swim around your mind, from the why's, to the how's, and to the what’s and yet none of them had connections to anything resembling an answer. You had no idea, and the problem-solver in you was becoming desperate.

…anyway, where the hell was that goddamn phone? You’re pretty sure you’ve already stretched your arm out an entire meter…

Right now you should be back at yours and your husband’s (clean) apartment. You should be on top of the mattress, sleeping in the arms of your (alive) husband. His bodily warmth should be radiating off onto your back. His fingers should be lightly drumming on your abdomen as he starts to enter that next stage of NREM.

You should be in Noriaki’s arms, having your deep conversations about your futures before you both fall asleep like you usually do. Where you both wanted to travel to next, where you both might end up working, and the recent addition of where you both liked to raise a family one day. However, you two never got the chance to decide. You had an inkling of what Noriaki would’ve suggested— a place with many opportunities for you two and your future family, but probably also a place with many attractions to visit. You knew he developed a love for travelling because of his parents, who would bring him to places like Hong Kong or Egypt when he was younger. There’s no doubt that he, too, would’ve passed the love on to the one inside you— the one who currently couldn’t be bigger than a vanilla bean seed.

The universe worked in ways that seemed unfair, and not to mention morbid.

02:16  

It was about time you found your phone.

You silently cursed upon seeing the time, as in a few hours you were going to be preoccupied with tasks you wished you didn’t ever have to do in your lifetime. Lightly drumming your fingers on the device, which now sat on your abdomen, you continued to stare at the white ceiling. You haven’t moved at all since you landed right on the futon. The sight of this ceiling might as well be something you get used to.

Rapidly blinking, you started to take heavy breaths. You felt tears starting to build up again— perhaps this was going to be a new normal for you too.

Your phone continued to sit on your abdomen as you glared at the ceiling.

Before a tear could fall and slide past the outer corners of your eyes, you gripped it tightly. Suddenly, you felt the urge to dial a familiar number and speak with someone, but you doubt anyone was awake right now. You actually had your chance to be on the phone with someone— several people, in fact— as you were bombarded with calls checking up on you earlier. You didn’t have any willpower to phone any of them back until now.

Unlocking your phone, you headed to the Contacts app with the intention to find a specific person. It suddenly dawned on you that you were just thinking of the wrong friends to call— people who wouldn’t bother to stay up late for any other reason besides hanging out at bars or each other’s apartments. That one person; you remembered that they’ve experienced something like this. Granted, it happened to them nearly four years ago outside of Japan, but he was open to speaking about it if asked.

Hopefully he’d sympathize with you, especially at such an early time in the morning here.

You left one hand to gently rest on your lower abdomen as you dialed.

He picked up almost immediately, and your features softened. Preparation for graduate school must’ve been killing him recently, you had no doubt about it. You didn’t see him as often anymore because of his preoccupation with that. Honestly, you weren’t even sure if his exchange program was still ongoing anymore— it’s been that long since you two spoke with one another.

“[Hey! You’re still up? It has to be, like, some time after midnight where you are…]” he greeted you cheerfully in his accented English, though you knew he must’ve been tired out of his mind. His phone must’ve been next to him the entire time as he worked.

Plus, he must’ve been back in Rome, if his response would indicate anything.

So much for visiting him.

Your breath hitched as soon as you heard his voice, however. Maybe this was a bad idea… were you really going to call someone at two in the morning to relate about dead family? Shit, it was too late now. He already picked up the phone and acknowledged you. You weren’t just going to hang up on the guy after phoning him due to your impulsiveness, and not give any sort of explanation. Surely he’d think you’re a dick for being that way to him after a period of no communication with one another.

“…hello?” he innocently trailed off. “Ah…”

Moving your phone’s speaker away from you, you exhaled heavily before moving it back. You had no choice but to dive in.

How bad could this be, anyway?

“[—Doppio… hey, I know this is really abrupt, and you don’t have to answer anything at all, but I just… I wanna ask you something…]”

—

Dimension #16

2011年11月25日

November 25, 2011

花京院典明死去、16：13

1989年8月2日生まれ、22歳

Noriaki Kakyoin died at 4:13 PM   22 years old,  born on August 2, 1989

空条承太郎死去、16：22

1990年1月20日生まれ、21歳

Jotaro Kujo died at 4:22 PM   21 years old,  born on January 20, 1990

--> To Be Continued -->

Link to the Table of Contents

[calcetineys]

So, I watched Love is Blind on Netflix… and so it won’t be a complete waste of my time, here’s a Steo AU. (Even though I’ve already done something similar. But now it also has Malira!)

If you aren’t familiar with this show, it’s a dating show hosted by Nick Lachey (that detail does come up) where participants go into little rooms called “pods” and talk with another person in the pod next to them. The idea is to see if they can fall in love without seeing each other. 

-

In this case, let’s not think about the logistics of how a bunch of bisexuals who aren’t supposed to see each other are supposed to be housed in the same facility.

So, Stiles probably claims that he didn’t think through this idea, but like, he kinda of did, at least enough to know that he does want someone who wants him for life. The fact that they can walk out and never see each other if that doesn’t end up being the case helps.

 He is ignoring the fact that this is going to be televised/streamed.

Also, he’s sort of thinking that maybe if someone got close enough, he could just go full throttle and somehow that will sabotage his chances? Like, put some much of himself out there that the person he’s talking to will be like ‘yeah, let’s not’. 

He doesn’t get that far with most people, but he wasn’t expecting someone like Theo.

So they meet on maybe the third rotation, Stiles has talked to a guy that was not really interesting and a really sweet girl named Kira who is not at all his type but made him laugh, and Theo not even thinking about the people he’s talked to, even less when he hears the voice on the other side of the wall that catches his attention.

That first ‘date’ goes pretty standard for them, as in, Theo’s kinda smitten, Stiles is a bit irritated but reluctantly intrigued.

At some point, the producers get a sense of who’s got chemistry and who doesn’t and starts letting the people who aren’t attracted to each other interact outside of the pods, to be able to get some conversation and feedback about how people are feeling.

Stiles gets to meet Kira in person, and she’s very pretty and just as charming, but he thinks he was right in his first impression. But he’s glad to listen to her gush about a woman named Malia, who Stiles did get a chance to talk with on one of the earlier days and did like, but he can tell that Kira’s absolutely gone on her.

He kind of avoids the question when she asks if he’s talked to anyone he likes, and she doesn’t push because she’s nice like that.

Also she wouldn’t want some one to do that to her, if she wasn’t feeling so ready to shout about how much fun she’s having with Malia.

She figures that part of it is the environment, that because she doesn’t have to worry about embarrassing herself with anything other than what she says, it’s easier to feel so excited about getting to know someone.

But she also just really likes this woman. Malia’s so straightforward and knows exactly what she wants to say and says it, which seems simple but is something Kira admires so much. And her confidence and intelligence and-

Yeah, Kira’s a goner.

Which is something that would make Malia very happy, over on the other side of the facility, where she and Theo are talking about their respective interests, albeit in a more sedate way.

The producers put them together in person after it became apparent that Malia differed from Stiles in that she was more irritated and not very intrigued by Theo on the other side of the wall.

They get some good footage of them talking about how cute the person they’re interested in is.

“She’s so dorky,” Malia says, smiling. She thinks about how Kira told her she’s never really felt all that comfortable with her body, always felt not exactly uncoordinated but definitely not graceful.

She doesn’t share that with Theo, but Malia thinks that she’d like to help Kira with feeling more at peace with herself, which is something that Malia had struggled with in the past.

Her head’s so wrapped up in thoughts like that, that she finds that she doesn’t mind Theo talking about the man named Stiles that had caught her passing interest early on, because he didn’t manage to keep it after she’d talked to Kira.

But she agrees with Theo as he says that Stiles is just so fucking smart, and clever and unafraid to call out bullshit, that their conversations are endlessly fun, that he doesn’t even want to talk to any of the other participants.

So he doesn’t. 

He ignores the signal the crew gives him to leave his pod, and when Stiles pauses on his way out he asks what Theo’s doing, because he can hear the chatter over the radio on the crew on his end.

“I don’t want to talk to anyone else. If you do, I guess I can’t do anything but ask if would rather stay here,” Theo says.

And Stiles is, unsurprisingly, suspicious of that, and says, “You really need to pull a stunt like this to get my attention.”

And Theo laughs, “Oh, I don’t, huh?”

“Because I’m not impressed,” Stiles corrects. But that’s not the truth exactly. It’s more that he doesn’t quite believe it. “These big, empty gestures…”

Theo’s quiet so a long second, and Stiles tells himself to leave, but he stays, waits until he hears: “It’s not supposed to impress you. I just want you to stay.”

And for some reason, Stiles does.

They don’t say anything for a long while, and eventually, the camera crew just decides to roll with it, because this is more interesting than the standard rotations.

Stiles is the one to start talking again, and at first it’s lighter topics. He starts talking about how Kira’s having some great luck with falling in love, but cuts that conversation off, because he’s ignoring that fact that there are other people here and that they should have moved on by now.

But it’s probably for that reason that he finds himself telling Theo things not as a way to drive him away, but more because he feels like maybe he doesn’t need to.

It is partly the fact that they can’t see each other, but it’s like how having difficult conversations in a car are easier, because there’s no eye contact, because both people are facing the same direction. 

They’re both sitting against the connecting way as he tells him about losing his mother, about feeling like he lost his father for years, about how for a long time when he was a teenager, he felt like he was losing himself and his mind.

Theo doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t say anything during, but Stiles knows he’s listening, and he finds that he doesn’t really care that so many other people are listening too.

“Thank you,” is what he hears in return.

Like his thoughts are a gift and not a repellent, not a burden.

The next time they talk, Stiles listens as Theo talks about losing his parents, though they’re still alive, about his sister Tara, who is the only family he’s ever needed.

Theo doesn’t say it, but Stiles puts together that she’s probably the only person that Theo’s kept in his life and he can’t help but ask why he came here. 

“Would it be too cheesy to say I came for you?”

Stiles scoffs and says, “Yeah.”

“Then I guess I don’t have a good answer.”

That’s not deterrent enough to end the conversation, even when they get the signal that the others are switching pods. When no one tries to get them to move, Stiles gets the feeling that the producers are eating this up and rolls his eyes. 

-

Back in the regular rotations, Kira’s listening to Malia talking about Theo and Stiles, which is more information that Kira learned from Stiles and she’s mostly concerned about them getting in trouble and getting kicked off.

“I doubt it,” Malia says. “It’ll be good for ratings. But enough about that-“

This is the first time they delve into really serious topics, though they’re talked about Kira’s insecurities and Malia’s mentioned her family issues.

But she gets into it more now, because she feels like Kira truly wants to know, to understand, and that makes her feels…good. 

“My birth parents…” she starts with. “She, uh- she regretted having me, my father didn’t know  about me for a long time, and he tries, but he’s not- My adopted family are my family, but I didn’t always accept that when I was younger. And it was even worse when my birth mother came to meet me when I was a teenager. She didn’t have a good reason for coming, not one that I can think of even now. 

And I’ve let go of the idea of ever understanding why she did what she did or why she said the things she sai- she told me I didn’t have a name, not a real one. She said a lot of shit that day, but that’s what stayed with me the longest.  

“But I’ve figured out who I am.”

Kira’s never wanted to be in the same room with her more than right then, wants to see this strength with her own eyes, and she envies the camera crew who get to.  

“You’re amazing,” she hears herself say.

It’s quiet for a second, before Malia says, “I’m smiling right now.”

Kira is now too.

-

“I know this seems crazy, but I’ve never felt so sure of something. It’s amazing that I can feel so certain of this, of you,” Kira says the next time they meet. “And I want to be with you, if you want me to, so will you marry me?”

“Absolutely,” Malia says, without a hint of hesitation, so absolutely proud of Kira for going for what she wants.

And Kira cries because she gets that for the rest of her life.

-

They finally meet in person, and god but when have two people ever smiled so brightly?

-

Theo waits longer than Kira did, because he knows that even though Stiles came here knowing how this process went, Stiles didn’t really expect to find someone who wanted him.

But he did, and Theo’s not shy about telling him. 

He tries not to push, but sometimes he shows how he knows they’re leaving here together, saying things like, “After this, I’m going to take you to-” and “I can’t wait to see your smile.” And- and this was the real kicker for Stiles, “Tara’s gonna adore you.”

He doesn’t wait until the last day though, doesn’t want to put Stiles through having to think that Theo’s not going to ask him.

He keeps it simple, because he knows how little Stiles is likely to believe him, but he speaks with such conviction, because he means what he says:

“I want all of you, everything you’ll give me. And that’s not going to change, Stiles.”

And Stiles is standing on his side of the wall, not wanting to believe that this is real, but knowing that it is, and he hasn’t been this terrified in years

And he thinks about all the times he’s been terrified in his life, all the times he didn’t do what was right for him, sucks in a breath when he realizes that he knows this is what’s right for him- and the fact that he believes what Theo’s saying has Stiles, for once in his life, doing right by himself.

So he agrees.

-

So just imagine, them meeting face to face, how Stiles is breathing hard, standing there, seeing this person who made him feel- feel like he- god, feel like this, he thinks, as Theo’s right in front of him now, pulling Stiles against him, looking up at him like he was something to look at, like after knowing so many of the worst parts of him, that he was still someone to want.

-

Kira and Malia have a dance on their pre-honeymoon sort of like in canon, where Kira starts out awkward, which is adorable, but Malia helps her feel more in control of her body, and comfortable with her movements and having fun instead of worrying about how she looks. At the end, Malia’s like, “Yeah, that was sexy as hell.”

And Kira really likes that.

-

So yeah, it’s possible that Theo and Stiles actually go through with the wedding, but because the whole ‘getting married after four months’ things was kind of stupid, and seemed like an entirely different variable in the ‘experiment’, it’s also very probable that Stiles, as Stiles does, freaks out about the whole thing, and worries about his father and if this doesn’t work out and how this is moving so fucking fast and Theo doesn’t want him to feel anxious about them, so he just says, “So we don’t get married right now and we don’t break up.”

Stiles stumbles over his words here and finally settles on, “But aren’t we like, contractually obliged to have a wedding?”

“I think we were also contractually obligated to date bunch of people in pods and I didn’t let that get in our way.”

“So, you’re just gonna say, ‘hey, fuck you Nick Lachey’?”

“Fuck Nick Lachey.”

“…alright then.”

[omi-ohmyimagination]

Undercover (1/3)

Part: 1 (of 3)

Themes: Mature, CEO AU, Spy, Mafia, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Romance, Mention of suicide, Sexual harassment, Violence, Optional Bias x Female Reader

Word count: 31,636

Description: Your whole life is full of lies, secrets and shady people. Only one thing is sure - when money is involved, nothing else matters. Anything goes. But when you meet your new target - unreachable, cold and damaged man, so painfully similar to you, things start to look a little bit different. What if you don’t want to live undercover anymore?

OMI’s note:  Woah, here it is - first part of Undercover. Fixed and obviously in new form. Some parts stayed the same, some are changed in a very slight way, some more. Overall, it looks better in my opinion and I hope you guys will enjoy it. Before I leave you with this long text, I just want to say that writing second part might take a bit of time, so I will probably upload something else in the meantime. So yeah, I hope you will like this “new” Undercover.

Before you entered a building hidden in a dark alley, you looked around to make sure that no one saw you. You pushed heavy metal door and immediately blinked because of a bright light.

“Geez, Sam, change these fucking bulbs. How do you even work here,” you said, protecting your eyes with the hand. You came closer to a huge desk in the corner of a room and sat on it. Sam looked up from papers that he was reading and flashed charming smile at you. His black hair fell on his glasses and you lazily pushed them up. He was handsome, you couldn't deny it, handsome nerd who didn't really know anything other than his work, and who should have probably chill sometimes. However, it was too weird to get involve in any type of relationship other than the one you already had. You liked him as a friend, and ruining it with one-time sex wasn't something you wanted to do.

“I got used to it. Besides, you come here once or twice in a month so you can handle them,” he laughed, nudging your thigh with his elbow. “I got something for you.”

“I'm sure you do, you wouldn't call me if there was no new work.”

“True. Here, this is a full file about your new target and his company,” he said, handing you pretty thick folder.

“Damn, there's a lot.”

“He's quite... famous,” he paused for a moment and looked at papers in your hand. His voice was laced with hesitation and, in some weird way, it made you anxious. “Well, go into boss' office. He wants to tell you all the details about his plan. He should be here in ten minutes.”

“You're throwing me out already? I thought you missed me.”

“Yeah, yeah, I did, but I also have a lot of things to do and, knowing you, you won't shut up.”

“Rude,” you whined, hitting his shoulder. He chased you out with a smile on his lips, so you got up lazily and headed to the other room.

When you entered it, suffocating smell of lilies hit your nose instantly. You shuddered in disgust. Whenever you came here, you always wondered why Kyo liked it so much. You asked him about it a few times, but he never gave you a clear answer. For you, it wasn't even close to being pleasant, it reminded you of funerals, and that was something you hated more than anything.

You fell on a chair and hid your nose in a t-shirt. Uh, Kyo, you better move your ass before I suffocate here.

You looked around bored but there was nothing interesting - white walls, closets full of papers and big mahogany desk at the center. Empty as always. Kyo loved to keep his surrounding clean, at least that was what he told you once. You sighed and decided to open the file that Sam gave you a few minutes ago. You gasped shocked when you saw the name written at the first page.

“Fucking B/N B/L/N,” you half screamed, sitting straight. You flipped through the pages in disbelief. “What the fuck? Are you in your right state of mind, you bastard?”

That must have been a joke. Kyo wanted you to spy on one of the richest businessmen in the whole country, which was more than unbelievable for you. You couldn't even imagine how you were supposed to do this, that guy was probably with bodyguards all the time. You hoped that it was some kind of mistake.

The door suddenly opened and you lifted your gaze. Kyo smiled, which made wrinkles around his eyes deepened, “Long time no see, Y/N.”

“What is this,” you said, raising the file in the air.

“So you already know who is your next target.” Kyo sat on his leather chair and smiled even more.

“My target? I will be their fucking target, if they find out that I'm spying on him!”

“They won't, Y/N. I prepared perfect plan and I can guarantee that you will be safe. Don't worry.” You looked at him suspiciously. You didn't doubt him, he always did great job but... you were a bit uneasy. No matter what, this case seemed harder than everything you did combined. “I kept an eye on him for some time now. I was waiting for a perfect timing to finally make a move and an opportunity came two days ago. He's desperately looking for a personal assistant and you, my dear, have the best qualifications for this job.”

You chuckled amused, “Me?”

“Of course. Why? Didn't you work for the richest man in Japan a year ago?” Kyo looked at you surprised.

“What are you... oh no, you didn't.” You sat there with opened mouth, utterly shocked. In the past he faked your identity a few times, but it was always something minor like name or date of birth, he never did anything more than this. Especially not something involving outsiders. “What if they contact him?”

“He will tell them, and I'm quoting, oh yes, she was excellent in her job, I've never worked with someone this competent; such a shame that she came back to her homeland. Believe me, it wasn't hard to convince him to cooperate.”

“You threatened him?” Your eyes widened in shock.

“You shouldn't worry about it. The point is that he will say what I want him to say.”

You ran hand through your hair in frustration. “Okay fine, but what if it doesn't work out? What if they choose someone else?”

“It will work out. I checked every girl that applied, and they are nowhere near your achievements. In two days you will be B/N's assistant and you will begin to spy on him. I don't know, you can gain his trust somehow, become his friend or some shit, and then he will tell you all his secrets. From what I've heard, he only acts tough, but actually he's easy to manipulate. And you're the champ of manipulation, my dear.”

“It's risky as fuck, Kyo. If he finds out, he will kill me, let's be honest.”

“Don't be so dramatic. How many times did you escape the death already?”

You looked at him with squinted eyes. “Many. Too many for my age. But this situation is different.”

“It just another job, Y/N,” he said, shaking his head in annoyance.

You sighed, knowing that there was no point in arguing with him. If Kyo wanted something, he got it. Whatever the cost. “And what are we looking for exactly?”

“I can't really tell you.”

“What,” you gasped. Kyo never hid anything from you, especially if it was about the case you were working on. That was something new, and you didn't like it.

“All you need to know is that we have information that he's making illegal transactions. And we need to put an end to this. I'm counting on you, Y/N.”

Every time you stopped your car at the traffic lights, your gaze wandered to the folder placed on the passenger seat. It was obviously only your imagination but you could have sworn that it was surrounded by a black smoke. Almost like a bad omen.

You laughed. There was probably no reason to worry so much about it, but so far life taught you to doubt everything and everyone. Especially when they tried to hide something from you. And Kyo was definitely doing this.

When you parked outside your apartment complex, you grabbed the folder and almost ran to your flat. You were curious what information Kyo was able to gather, and how your new life looked like.

It was a long process. Every new case took a lot of time to learn about, and this one wasn't different. However, there was less about B/N himself than you expected. Pages and pages about the company's history, its purpose, and stuff that bored the hell out of you.

Information about B/N were mostly general, and you were almost a hundred percent sure that you could have found them online. Doesn't keep people around – even his own family, doesn't engage in relationships, cold, harsh, determined. The most typical characteristics of a CEO. But there was also a note left by Kyo, the one he mentioned during your meeting: acts tough but is easy to manipulate; even the slightest trace of challenge keeps him interested.

And that was all you needed.

You stepped out of your car in front of a huge glass building. You looked up and gasped amazed. From a far it didn't look so massive, but up close it was enormous, you couldn't even see the highest floor. You took a deep breath, straightened up your gray pencil skirt and moved to the entrance. You tried to recall once again every achievement and information about your life before you reached a reception.

An older woman in white dress looked at you and smiled friendly. “Hello, how can I help you, miss?”

“Yes, hello,” you said slightly nervous, “I'm here for a job interview for a position of Mr. B/L/N's assistant.”

“Oh yes, okay. You need to go on the left here and there is a room number fifteen. You will find it easily, there are quite a few girls there already,” she replied. “But firstly, can I get your name?”

“Y/N Y/L/N”

“Thank you so much. I wish you good luck.”

You bowed lightly and moved in given direction. There was, indeed, rather big group of women. All dressed in formal skirts or dresses, some older than you were expecting but all visibly nervous. You, on the other hand, weren't nervous, you were terrified. Your hands were sweating and trembling uncontrollably.

You looked around, taking a better glance at the women's faces. All of them seemed to be from rather wealthy families, dressed in designer clothes, and with perfectly done make-ups. You chuckled mad. They had no reason to be so anxious, the worst that could have happened to them was leaving this place without a job. And even if this happened, their fathers would have probably patted their heads and gave them a position in their own companies. You on the other hand, could end up in jail, in the best scenario, if something went wrong.

The door opened and a girl with shiny eyes left the room.

“How was it? Any better,” other asked.

“No, it was... terrible,” she said. She was trembling and it was obvious that she would start crying soon. “He asked me so many things, some of them rather weird. And he judged my answers so rudely. Even if they want me to work here, I would never accept their offer.” You would have felt sorry for her, if she didn't sound so bossy about it. She was young, probably younger than you, and looking at her reaction, she probably never was in situation like this. In contrast to her, during your whole life you met so many aggressive, vulgar and insolent people that the guy in the room was most likely nothing compared to them. Your only wish was not to be exposed.

It took longer than you've expected. After another hour there was only few women left, others marched out of the building with heads raised high, discouraged by the job interview. You were sitting there amazed because Kyo's plan started to look reasonable now. Somehow he must have known what type of women would be here and how demanding the interview would be.

If only they wouldn't find out that you're a scammer, you have won.

The last girl left the office and tall man appeared behind her. He was dressed in tailored suit, and his black hair was slicked back. He was handsome but also looked cold and strict. He seemed like someone who had no barriers, and would ask you about every intimate detail of your life. And that was probably right, judging from conversations you heard in the past two hours.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” he said in a low voice, looking around.

You got up. “It's me.”

“Come in, please.” He moved inside the room and stand beside the table, extending his arm. “I'm Jiho Park, vice-ceo and person responsible for B/N's personal crew. Please sit.” You sat across him and tried to look professional. “Miss Y/L/N, I checked your qualifications and I must say, they are pretty impressive. I didn't think that someone with such experience will come here today,” he continued impressed. “To be honest, it's actually beyond my expectations.”

All your dark thoughts left you immediately after his words, they didn't suspect anything and it looked like they wanted you to work for them. You noted in your mind to congratulate Kyo for creating your new life.

“I have only a few questions for you. Some of them might be rather personal but I hope you understand.” He waited for your approval, and when you nodded, he asked, “Can you tell me if you're involved in any relationship?”

“No, I'm not and answering your next question, I'm not planning to be in the near future. I want to focus on my career now.”

“Good,” he said and wrote something on a piece of paper he held in his hand. “So I assume that you don't have children, right?”

“That's correct. In fact, I don't want to have them at all.”

“I see. And was there anything you found hard to do while working for Mr. Aki?”

“Besides my fear of not understanding Japanese,” you joked, remembering Kyo's words. “Not really. I learn rather quickly and I know how to adjust to my boss' lifestyle and schedule.”

“And can you tell me why you left that work?” You looked at Jiho with wide eyes. Oh. My. God. Kyo, you dumbass. You forgot the most important thing. Your heart sped. It wasn't happening. How did he come up with useless stories from your life but forgot something so important? You tried to regain your composure and stop your trembling fingers.

“I...,” you stuttered. You had no other choice as to expose the piece of your true life. It wasn't something you liked to talk about, fuck, it was the one thing you wished you would never have to talk about again, but there was no time to come up with something good in this situation. “My mother tried to commit suicide and someone needed to be close to her. I couldn't count for my alcoholic father so there was no other choice for me. I was supposed to come back to Japan but unfortunately, she did it again. Successfully this time. It was really hard for me.” You felt tears in corners of your eyes. You tried to wipe them away secretly but failed. Jiho handed you a tissue which you gladly accepted. “I'm sorry, it's still hurts.”

“No, it's okay. I should be sorry for bringing painful memories,” he said with blank expression. “I think we can finish now. I don't really want to torture you here, miss. Please wait outside, I will inform you about the results in half an hour.”

You left the room with a bow and quickly got out of the building, ignoring looks and questions from women waiting outside. You searched your bag with trembling hands and pulled out pack of cigarettes. You lit up one and inhaled deeply. I will fucking kill you, Kyo. That was the only thing about your life that you hated talking about. Your mother's topic was too painful to bring up. After so many years, it hurt the same. The fact that she decided to end her miserable life with alcoholic and abusive husband and left you - twelve years old child with him made you more than mad. She ran away from pain, constant fighting and poverty and left it all to you to deal with. You were just a child - lonely, hurt, unloved. It was unbelievably hard to survive. You hated your father from the moment you understood what an evil man he was. And then your mother killed herself and even though you understood her, you hated her for what she did, too. You had no one, you were alone on this planet.

You threw the rest of the cigarette in the bin and sprayed perfume all over yourself. You entered the building and stopped in the lobby where you could still see the door you left some time ago. You didn't want to listen to all the questions from the rest of the girls. It was the first and the last time you ever saw them, they didn't matter to you and you didn't want to explain yourself to them. You looked up and spotted Jiho with another man. He was standing with his back to you but you could clearly see that he was more muscular and a bit taller than Jiho. You nodded your head slightly when your eyes met with Jiho's.

And then the other man turned around and you froze. It was him. B/N. He looked at you with piercing eyes, making you shuddered. You were amazed, he looked better than on the photos, almost like a sculpture made by God himself. His facial features seemed so sharp that it was unbelievable, slightly longer hair was a little messy and suit hugged his body perfectly, highlighting its athletic form. He was attractive. Even more - he was damn sexy. You looked into each others eyes for a few seconds, then he said something to Jiho and disappeared in an elevator behind him.

You released a breath that you held and glanced at Jiho again. He smiled softly at you and moved to the stairs. You followed his every move with your eyes and when he stood in front of you, you clenched your teeth in anticipation.

“Congratulation, Miss Y/N. You got this job.”

You were bored. Well, bored was a bit of an understatement. Since you got accepted into the company a week ago you spent all your time with Anna - B/N's secretary, who introduced you to company's structure, your duties and all those not-so-interesting aspects of being a personal assistant. As for you, simple you need to do whatever B/N's wants you to do would be enough, you were not particularly interested in company's history, which you already knew thanks to Kyo, and what B/N liked or didn't like.

B/N. Since that day when you entered his company for the first time, you didn't see him again. It bothered you more than you wished it would. You were wasting your time here, literally risking your life, and he didn't show up even once.

And Kyo wasn't helping at all. He made it even worse. After you pointed out his small mistake, as he called it, he nagged you every single day. He was weirdly demanding, as never before, and when you asked him about the reason behind it, he yelled at you, telling you that you should have focus on your work. With each passing day it felt more and more suspicious but you couldn't figure out why exactly.

"B/N starts his day at 10am and you're obliged to greet him and present him his schedule as soon as you see him. I'm preparing this so you don't need to worry about it. Clear," Anna asked once again, interrupting your thoughts.

You rolled your eyes. "You're telling me this for the fifth time today. Anna, I'm not stupid, I know how it works - I do whatever he wants."

She sighed. "I know, Y/N. I'm just stressed, that's all."

"Why? I should be the stressed one."

"And I don't know why you're not," she snapped, hanging her head low. "Sorry. You know, he's very demanding and you're not the first one to get this position. There were a lot of girls before you and they didn't last longer than a week. And I'm the one who's doing this job after they ran off crying! I can't keep up with everything."

Oh no. Don't open up to me. We will never be friends. I gonna vanish as soon as I get what I want.

"Do I look like those girls to you? I can handle a lot, believe me."

Anna looked at you with hope in her eyes. She smiled softly and stood up suddenly, clapping her hands. "I hope I can trust you, Y/N. For now, we're done with boring stuff. Today's gonna be your first day with B/N. Here," she said, handing you a piece of paper. "This is his schedule for today, read it - especially those additional notes I've left for you, I will be doing this for some time to help you. He will be here in fifteen minutes so go down and wait for him at the reception."

You blinked a few times confused. Just a minute before she was almost crying and now she was sending you off. She seemed convinced that you're not going to betray her and in some way it hurt you. She was nice, maybe even too nice. She was actually the first person in a long time that was kind to you. It felt unfamiliar but pleasantly at the same time. It was hard to admit but deep down you knew that hurting her, would hurt you a bit too.

You took B/N's schedule from her and got into the elevator. Ride down was long, and you took that time to read the plan over and over again. Ten minutes later you had B/N's schedule memorized perfectly. Two hours of preparing, few hours of meeting and lastly dinner with guy called Lee. For a second you were disappointed, nothing in Anna's notes seemed like it could be something suspicious but then you thought of an opportunity to finally look into his office, and smile danced on your lips. For the past week, Anna was constantly around you, and even though B/N wasn't in his office, you had no chance to sneak there.

"So you're here," someone said in a deep, husky voice. You looked up and saw B/N in another perfectly tailored suit. His hair was pushed back, head tilted to the side and arms folded. He was looking at you, trying to appear disinterested but you noticed a gleam of interest in his eyes. It was the first time you saw him from this close and you had to admit – he was indeed hella attractive.

You raised one eyebrow. "I was supposed to be here? I don't know what's so weird about it."

"Well, I thought you will quit after like three days? Too many duties or something." He leaned in your direction so close that you felt his hot breath on your face. He smirked when you didn't flinch, and then reached his arm behind you, pressing the button to call the elevator. He looked you straight in to the eyes as if challenging you.

"Maybe you should stop thinking," you said with a fake smile, moving even closer to him. His smirk disappeared from his face, and he slightly squinted his eyes. He tried so hard to hide his shock but it was useless. He was about to say something when the elevator opened and a group of people got out of it. He stepped aside and greeted them back rather harshly. You walked inside quickly and looked at him. "Are you coming?"

He didn't answer and followed you, closing the door right in front of someone's face.

"You have a meeting at noon and then a dinner with Mr. Lee at 4pm. So, we have something around two hours to prepare for it. Anna left all the documents on your desk. She said you need to read it and decide if you agree with all the statements included there." You looked at B/N and caught him staring at you. "What? Is something unclear?"

"Your attitude," he said, now visibly stunned.

"Well, I'm probably not your typical assistant. Let's say that I'm kind of special."

He was confused. From the moment he saw your face, he was almost a hundred percent sure that you were only a pretty face. Your experience? Probably gained through bed, nothing more. But now you were explaining to him pros and cons of the transaction he was about to sign and you unexpectedly looked like you knew what you were talking about. And that situation in front of the elevator? None of the girls before you were this cheeky and confident. He was amazed and kinda mad. It made him feel smaller. No one ever mocked him like that, no one was brave enough to do it.

And then, there were you. Apparently not just a pretty face.

You put the papers down and stood up to move around a little bit. You were pissed. Almost two hours and nothing out of normal. Simple, legal contract with similar company. You were hoping to get a chance to look into other stuff inside B/N's office while he studied this deal, but apparently he was an idiot. Or maybe he wanted to test you. You didn't know, and didn't really care.

You sighed loudly and looked at the clock. "You should get up and go to the conference room, meeting's gonna start in ten minutes. I noted everything we talked about if you forget something." B/N glanced at you and nodded. You noticed that his tie was a little bit crooked so you moved in his direction and bent down to fix it. He looked at you confused. "Try to look professional," you mumbled, too focused on your task to register another man walking into the room.

You heard someone's clearing their throat. You looked up and saw Jiho with raised eyebrows.

"Am I disturbing you?"

"In what," you asked without thinking.

"I'm not sure, Y/N," he said, looking at you and then at B/N. You turned your head and met B/N's wide eyes just a few centimeters from yours.

"Oh this. I'm trying to fix his tie. Wait..." You let go of the silky material and folded your arms. "What were you thinking?"

"Nothing in particular."

"Jesus Christ, you both should stop thinking." Jiho tilted his head intrigued. "Don't worry about it. As regards the meeting, we looked at every damn point in these documents. I wrote notes beside the points that are questionable and should be discussed. Also, remember that you both have meeting with Mr. Lee at 4pm at restaurant called Rose-something. Doesn't really matter, your driver knows the address. Good luck, I will be with Anna, I guess," you said with a smile and left the room.

"What the fuck," Jiho asked confused.

"I have no idea." B/N was looking at the closed door amazed. He still felt hot where your fingers accidentally touched his skin. He tried to brush it off, but he couldn't deceive his own body. It was just a simple touch, and yet he felt it in his abdomen. "She's pissing me off, man. I thought she's another stupid girl but no. She's too confident, and she's challenging me. Me, for fuck's sake! Can you believe it?"

Jiho laughed. "Sounds familiar to me.”

“Don't fuck with me.”

“I wouldn't dare. But you need to watch out for her, you know that right?”

“Yeah, I do. She's gonna be a pain in the ass. She already irritates me, and I was with her for two hours.”

“I feel like it can be quite funny,” Jiho smirked, dodging a pen that B/N threw at him.

"Shut up. Mark my words Jiho, I'm gonna break her. I'm gonna make her life look like a fucking nightmare."

After B/N left his office with Jiho next to him, smile formed on your lips. And when Anna said she was going for lunch, you were practically jumping from happiness. Finally, you had a chance to sneak into B/N's office. You've waited for this whole week, week full of Kyo's nagging and screams.

Knowing that there were no cameras on this floor, you marched into your desired destination, whistling under your nose. You sat on B/N's chair, sighing deeply.

“What can you possible hide here, loser,” you mumbled, opening one of the drawers. You quickly searched through its content, checking if there was no secret compartment. You did the same with the rest of them, and to your disappointment, you found nothing. Every damn paper was useless, and definitely didn't contain anything illegal.

That was not what you were looking for.

Irritated, you left his office and wrote quick message to Kyo, informing him that you found nothing in B/N's stuff, and asking him if there was a different place to search.

The answer you received was not something you've expected.

His mind.

You lived through hell. Your life was a constant fight, either with memories or people around you. Until now, you thought that there was nothing more that could make you so stressed and tensed. And yet, there you were. Third week in your search and no result. Not even the smallest suspicious thing about B/N. You were done already, done with playing good little assistant, done with listening to Kyo's accusations and weird ideas, done with this whole fucked up situation.

That was why you made plans for the night. For the first time in a long time. You needed some relief, and you needed it fast.

This day seemed to be especially long, longer than usual. You were looking at papers that Anna gave you but you didn't absorb any of the information. You tried to focus, you did, but your mind was somewhere else. You were thinking of your date. You were so excited to leave the office and finally got laid that nothing else mattered. Mere fact that you found someone this fast - someone incredibly hot, by the way - was exciting. Those days you were like a slave: trapped in the company for long hours, following B/N like a shadow, and being at his beck and call. That was nothing like how you've imagined this job - you thought that after almost a month of working for him, you would have enough material to ruin him. Not really. It was almost like there was nothing to find on him. But then why would you be there, spying on him?

You glanced at your phone for the thousandth time to check the hour.

“You're really impatient today,” Anna blurted finally.

“Hm? Oh yeah, that's because I have plans.”

Anna leaned her head on interlocked fingers. “What kind of plans made you this worked up?”

“I might get finally laid tonight,” you answered with a smile.

“Well, that explain a lot,” she laughed. “Is he nice?”

“Nice is a bit of understatement.”

You were about to describe how hot the guy was when B/N stood in front of both of you. You didn't even notice when he left the elevator but as soon as you glanced at him, the grip on the pen you were holding tightened.

“I want you to do reports of my two last meetings, Y/N.”

“Okay, I will do them tomorrow,” you mumbled, not looking at him.

“No,” he hissed. “I want them on my desk tomorrow morning.”

You raised your gaze. “That's not... possible. I can't do this today. I have...”

“Do I look like I care? If I don't have them in the morning, you're fired,” he announced and left you in disbelief.

You hit your head on the desk with a groan.

“This fucker.”

The company was almost dead when you returned from the shop. You were horny, that was a fact but you wouldn't dare to risk your mission just because of this. You smiled sadly to the security guard and headed to your desk. When you plopped down on the chair, you took your phone out and wrote quick apology to the guy you were supposed to meet.

At the back of your head there was a thought that B/N did it on purpose. When you thought about that whole situation you could have sworn that he must have heard you, and decided to ruin your plans. He was that kind of man - he would probably do everything to ruin your mood. And maybe even your life. But was he so different from you? You were doing exactly the same.

You started reading the overview of one of the meetings when your phone rang. Without looking at the screen, you answered it. “Yes?”

“Y/N, nice to finally fucking hear you.”

“What do you want, Kyo,” you asked annoyed.

“And what I might want? Information, for fuck's sake. You didn't report me anything since last week.”

“Because there's nothing to report. Nothing's happening here. Or at least - nothing shady. It's so boring that I might throw up from boredom soon. Right now, I'm stuck with some fucking reports because B/N is a pain in the ass. You know where I was supposed to be? In a bed. With a dick inside me! Not in the office!” You were close to screaming. It was all Kyo's fault. All.

Bitterness welled up in you in a past few days and you couldn't deal with it anymore. You felt similar only once - when your mother killed herself and left you alone. You were lost, confused and lonely. You wandered around the town for days, hungry and cold, without any hope. And then Kyo found you. You ran away from him but eventually came back, he was the only one who offered you help. Oh, if only you knew back then how much his help cost. Sometimes you wished that you never met him. There wouldn't be any problems if you were dead.

But your relationship with him was never this bad. Since the day one he acted in a weird way, yelling at you every time he called you. He wasn't like this before. There was certainly something about this case that made him so mad, and you were ready to find out what was it.

“Oh, so you're doing reports. About what?” He ignored your outburst completely as if he didn't really care about your feelings. Maybe he didn't.

“About nothing. Stupid meetings he had yesterday.”

“And you didn't tell me about them. I send you a message and you ignored it.”

“That's because you're writing to me every day,” you shouted. “If I had anything interesting to tell you, I would call you. But I have nothing. Zero. I'm starting to think that this is some kind of sick game. This guy seems clean, Kyo. I can't find anything.”

“Maybe you fucked up,” he said.

Your grip on the phone tightened. “What the hell does it mean?”

“Exactly what you think. Maybe he knows that you're spying on him, maybe you're not this good.”

“Don't make me laugh, if that's the case, you're the one who should be blamed for this. After all, you were the one who created my life. If there's anything suspicious, that's on you,” you muttered through the clenched teeth. “You're pissing me off right now, so get lost.”

You were mad, bewildered and most importantly, disappointed. It wasn't like you could call Kyo your family, but he was close to you. You were ready to risk your miserable life for him, which you were basically doing, and it seemed that he didn't really care about you. He was nothing more than a burden to you right now. He turned into a completely different person, and that fact scared you.

When B/N entered the company, he was almost entirely sure that you didn't listen to him yesterday. He was ready to fire you. And he would do that with pleasure. He tried so many things, so many dirty tricks to discourage you, and no matter what, you stayed with him. Sometimes he thought that you might have been a masochist, you were okay with pretty much everything.

He got out of the elevator, and to his surprise, he saw you sleeping with your head on the desk.

“What is happening here,” he asked Anna as soon as he approached both of you.

“I found her like that. The security guard told me she spent whole night working.”

B/N looked at you stunned. Your hair was tangled, clothes wrinkled, and you still held pen in your hand. He wasn't prepared for that, he could have expected everything from you but not this. You were always dissatisfied with everything, you hated him, and he could have sworn that you wanted to quit this job. And yet, you obeyed him again, even if that meant interference in your personal life.

“Sent her to me when she wakes up,” he said, still looking at you.

He sat on his chair and closed his eyes. Feeling of annoyance washed over him. You irritated him, that was the truth, but he couldn't deny the fact that you turned him on. You were pretty, always dressed in tight pencil skirts, with cheeky smile on beautiful lips that he wanted to wipe off roughly. Even your attitude toward him was alluring. No other woman in his life made such snappy comments about him, no women resisted his person for so long. You were a true mystery for him, and with each passing day, he wanted to learn more and more about you.

If he thought about it, he was quite similar to you. You were both tied up by work, without a lot of free time to meet your needs. Idea of hooking up with you crossed his mind, but he dismissed it as fast as it appeared. He wasn't that crazy yet. He never slept with his subordinates, he never even thought about it, yet you made him this desperate. And he hated it.

Quiet knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

“Yes?”

“It's me,” you yawned, rubbing your eyes with a hand and smudging your mascara in the process. Somehow, it looked adorable for him. “I have those damn reports you wanted.” You put stack of papers on his desk and yawned once again.

“You were here all night?”

“And how does it look to you? Yep, I was. And I'm sore as hell, those chairs are really uncomfortable.”

“Go home,” he said without thinking. He blinked a few times, shocked at his own words.

You raised your gaze completely dumbfounded. “Are you trying to say that I'm fired? What the heck? I did what you asked, what are you...”

“That's not what I meant,” he stood up rapidly, suddenly scared that you could leave. “I just want you to go home and get some rest. That's all.” His voice became almost inaudible at the end of the sentence. He couldn't believe that he said that, normally he wasn't like this.

You were staring at him in silence, and he didn't know what to do. It was something new for him, he didn't act nicely on daily basis. Honestly, he didn't act nicely at all. Especially towards you.

“You want me to rest today?”

“Yeah, and you better get out of here before I change my mind.”

You leaned in his direction with curiosity in your eyes. “You sure you're not the one that should get some time off?”

“Y/N. Get. Out.”

“Okay, okay. Thanks... I guess.”

He watched you as you were leaving his office, and when the door closed behind you, he dropped down on his chair again.

He was crazy.

You made him crazy.

You weren't sure what happened but you gladly accepted B/N's offer. Not because you were tired - you handled far worse things - but because you needed some time to understand the situation you were in. Maybe if your mind wasn't filled with the memory of conversation with Kyo, you would have thought more about B/N's behavior. But that wasn't important for you now, you didn't care about him that much. He was just a pawn in Kyo's game.

You took your phone out and dialed first number on your contact list.

Almost immediately you heard man's voice. “What's up, sweety?”

“I'm on my way to you, Markus. You need to help me.”

“Sure, I'm waiting.”

When you entered a code to Markus' house, and stepped inside, scent of food filled your nose right away. You moved your body in the direction of his office where you found Markus, sitting in his usual spot - in front of two big computer screens.

“Hey bro,” you began, grabbing a slice of pizza from the table.

“Hey. Wait a moment, okay?”

“Mhm,” you mumbled with mouth full of dough. You dragged a stool from the corner and sat beside the man. He was furiously typing something on the keyboard, looking with squinted eyes at the green text on the screen. You've known him almost your whole life, watched so many times how he worked, yet you still didn't understand a thing. He tried to explain to you, step by step, how he hacks into people's files but it still didn't make any sense to you.

But it didn't really matter. You had your own ways to find information.

“Gotcha,” he laughed and turned to you. “So, what's going on?”

“Well,” you swallowed the last bit of pizza and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, “I need you to hack into Kyo's computer.”

In a flash he became serious. “What?”

You sighed deeply. “You know that I'm spying on B/N but the thing is, there's nothing on this guy. I can't find any proof that he's involved in any kind of illegal stuff. I even feel a bit bad about doing this, and that's something. In addition, Kyo's mad at me for everything. He wants me to report every damn thing about B/N. And I don't see any sense in this! Something's off, bro. I feel it and I want to know what is going on.”

“That's gonna be risky.”

“I know but... I can't... yeah, I feel like I can't trust Kyo anymore.”

You were late, and that made B/N furious. He was spinning in his chair, waiting for you to finally arrive. He gave you a day off, that was true, but it was only one day. He couldn't believe you had the nerve to test his patience like that. Maybe he was nice yesterday but that was a one-time situation. At least that was what he hoped for. He still didn't understand why he has acted like that. He didn't have soft heart, it wasn't the case. It was only a fleeting kindness. That's how he explained it to himself.

The door suddenly opened without a knock.

“Sorry for being late,” you squeaked when you entered his office. You tried to fix your skirt stealthily, but B/N didn't miss that small move.

“Why weren't you on time?”

“I was kinda busy last night,” you answered straight away.

His hand closed into a fist. “You were busy. With what?”

“That's not really your business.”

“Ha,” he scoffed. “Get on with the job already or I will kick you out.”

You blinked a few times, turned around without a word, and bumped into Jiho who was standing behind you. “Sorry,” you murmured and left the room, leaving the two men alone.

“You argued again.” It sounded more like a statement, not a question. Jiho sat on the chair across and took his jacket off. “What happened this time?”

B/N took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I've never met someone this insolent.”

Jiho laughed loudly. “Really? Because I did.”

“Don't push your luck, man. I'm not in the mood. I gave her day off to rest, right? But she came late today because she was “busy” last night. Busy, my ass. She was probably fucking some random dude.”

“You know, this counts as being busy.” B/N shoot him a glare full of rage, his jaw was clenched and hands clutched tightly on the armrests. “Why are you even this mad? It's not like she's yours or anything. She's just your assistant, not your wife, she can do whatever she wants.”

B/N frowned. Jiho was right - you were nothing more than his subordinate, yet the thought of you with another man made his blood boil. He wasn't sure why, it wasn't like he felt anything to you. Besides sexual attraction - he couldn't deny this. Was it because he was possessive? Maybe. Or maybe he just didn't understand his own feelings.

Another sigh left his mouth. “I need to give her a lesson.”

“Geez, B/N, what lesson? Let the girl fuck whoever she wants. It's none of your business. And by the way, maybe you should focus more on today's banquet.” Sly smile appeared on B/N's lips when a wild idea crossed his mind. “What now?”

“That's not a bad advice,” he said, grinning. Jiho looked at him puzzled. “Maybe she should go with me.”

“And why is that?”

“Oh you know, Sheng will be there. If she's so thirsty for a dick, she will love his company.” He wasn't paying attention to Jiho anymore, he was too focused on searching for the most expensive dress shops in the area. He knew where to find clothes for himself, but he had never bought anything for a woman. There was simply no occasion for this and the fact that he needed to do this in that time was ridiculous for him.

Jiho groaned disgusted. “He's a fucking creep man, you really hate her this much?”

“I don't hate her, she annoys the fuck out of me. There's a difference.”

“Don't you think it's a little too much? She's hot, he will be all over her all the time.”

B/N looked up from his phone. Was it too much? He wanted to annoy you, nothing more. In his twisted mind, he was convinced you deserved a lesson.

“Come on, Sheng is not that stupid, he will just spit some gross jokes and that's all.”

“I wouldn't be so sure about this. No matter what, keep an eye on her. Just in case.”

B/N scoffed. “Now you're talking?”

“I may not trust her but I don't wish her anything bad.”

“You're coming with me today,” B/N announced when he entered his office after the meeting.

You turned around and asked confused, “What?”

“I said...”

“I know what you said but I don't understand why you want me to accompany you at that banquet.”

“Well, maybe because you're my assistant?” He sat on his chair and looked at you from head to toe. “We need better clothes for you.”

“Excuse me, but what's wrong with the one I have now?”

He didn't answer you but instead he pushed button on his phone and after one signal he directed Anna to prepare car for him. He stood up and headed to the door.

“Follow me.”

The ride was unpleasantly silent. You sat beside him, nibbling on your nail. Changes in his attitude confused the hell out of you. He was mad, you were sure about this, but the reason why was a mystery for you. It was like a world was laughing at you - you had your own problems, there was no need for another one. And yet it arrived. Your life wasn't easy even once but the events of past weeks tested your patience like nothing ever.

The car stopped in front of a huge building and B/N got out of it, without looking at you. You followed him, and shyly entered the luxurious shop.

There weren't a lot of things that made you uncomfortable, but this was definitely one of them. Quick look at the nearest price tag made you flinch instantly. You've never experienced wealthy life, it was unattainable for you from your first day at this world. And to tell the truth, you despised rich people. You have quite a few encounters with them in the past and all of them were sleazy, full of themselves and thought that if they had money, they had everything. You couldn't really find any bigger joy in money, and you didn't understand how some could.

“Do we really have to be here,” you mumbled finally, rubbing your shoulders.

B/N turned around and looked at you. Confusion in his eyes was too noticeable. You felt bad that you showed him this side of you but you couldn't fight embarrassment that washed over you. You felt out of place, almost like an alien. You lowered your gaze.

“What's wrong with you now,” he asked, coming closer to you.

“I... I just don't like places like this,” you stammered.

He was silent for a few seconds but then your annoying boss came back. “Do I look like I care?”

B/N's head was spinning with excess thoughts. He was looking at all the dresses around him, but he didn't really see them. From time to time, he glanced at you, standing awkwardly in the corner, and he couldn't believe it was you. This cheeky, confident girl was gone just because of some expensive clothes. It was unbelievable for him. Was there a reason behind your embarrassment? Did something happen to you before? Much to his annoyance, those questions didn't want to leave his head. He wanted so badly to know why your attitude changed so drastically.

However, the fact that he thought about canceling his plan was even more unthinkable. When he looked at you, so vulnerable, he almost felt sick of his twisted mind. He didn't know why but at that moment he felt the urge to hug you. He had to stop himself from doing something stupid, so instead he focused his mind on why he brought you here.

Suddenly something caught his gaze. There it was - a perfect dress. He moved closer to the rack and touched red silky material. The dress was backless, with a really thin straps and quite a huge low-cut. Just the thought of you in it made him hot. His hand twitched when he reached for it.

“Try this one,” he said, handing you the beautiful piece. You took it from him with a grimace of dissatisfaction and disappeared in a fitting room. He sat on a sofa across the mirror and fixed the collar of his shirt.

When you stood in front of him again, his breath got stuck in his throat. It was a lot more than he imagined. Thin fabric hugged you perfectly, highlighting all your curves insanely. Your breasts were exposed a little too much, but he was too mesmerized to complain. You looked... gorgeous. And even this description wasn't enough. Red was definitely your color, and he wished there was a possibility to see you in this more often.

“Turn around.” His voice was hoarse, but he didn't care if you noticed. You obeyed him without a word and that only aroused him even more. The cut on your back was so low that he was able to see the hem of your lacy undies. Sweat started to form on his forehead, he felt extremely hot and it bothered him. It never happened to him, he never felt so horny just by looking at a woman in a revealing dress. He put hand on his thigh, discreetly trying to adjust his hardening dick. “We will take this one,” he said, when the worker approached you.

“Isn't it too much,” you asked, averting his gaze.

“No.” It was his only answer. There wasn't other option for him, he wanted you to wear that dress regularly. And preferably, only for him. He didn't know how to persuade you to do this, but he was desperate to make it happen.

Sitting beside you, dressed in that sexy piece, in the car was the hardest thing he ever endured in his whole life. He wanted to touch you, feel your hot skin under his fingertips, made you moan for him. He kept his eyes on you, observing your every little move - how your chest raised and fell with each breath, how your legs moved in an attempt to sit more comfortable, how you brushed your hair out of your sight. He couldn't stop himself. His mind was flooding him with different imagines of how would you look and sound when he dicked you down.

You turned your head slightly and glanced at him annoyed. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“So why are you staring at me all the fucking time? Are you regretting taking me with you?”

“Why would I?”

You lowered your gaze and raised an eyebrow a little. “I not sure but I guess it will be quite uncomfortable for you to wander around people with an erection, don't you think?” He took a quick peek at his dick and cursed. So it was visible. He felt the tightness in this area, but he didn't think that it was so prominent. He tried to fix his pants but without success. “Maybe I should help you,” you offered, moving closer to him. He tensed instantly, watching how you put your hand on his thigh dangerously close his boner. “Should I?”

He studied your face for a moment. He wasn't sure if you were serious or not, your expression was emotionless. Did he want it? Oh, he did, but he didn't want to give in to your seduction. He wanted to show you that he was stronger than he appeared at that moment, even though it wasn't true.

He was about to decline your offer when your fingers brushed his clothed dick. He hissed unintentionally.

You burst into laughter. “You wish.”

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you so close that he felt your breath on his face. “You're gonna regret this. Don't fucking play with me, kitten.” Your eyes winded in shock but you didn't move. You stayed like this for a few seconds before he pushed you and got out of the car. He furiously tugged at his pants and covered his crotch area with jacket. “Come,” he snapped through clenched teeth when you joined him. He put his hand on your lower back and guided you inside the luxury restaurant.

He was done playing your little game, it was time for his plan. He couldn't take your presence any longer. You challenged him once again, but this time it was too much for him. He was boiling with anger when he scanned the crowd, looking for Sheng. When he noticed him, he nodded and moved in his direction.

As soon as the man spotted you, his eyes filled with lust. “Hello B/N. And hello to you, gorgeous. Who is it?”

“This is Y/N, my assistant,” he answered with a fake smile.

“Nice choice, man. I bet she's quite useful.” B/N wanted to throw up. He hated this guy to the core. He loathed every aspect of Sheng's being, he was disgusted by his every word. But there was one thing he hated even more at this moment, and it was your attitude.

“Can you keep her company for a second? I need to talk to someone real quick.” B/N didn't wait for any response. He moved his body as far away from you as possible. Fend for yourself, you little bitch.

He lost sight of you long ago but it didn't bother him that much. Somewhere at the back of his head he was hearing Jiho's voice over and over again, but he tried to ignore it. He took a small sip of his champagne, pleased with the company of a girl, whose name he already forgot. She wasn't as pretty as you, but at least she was simpler. A few sweet words, and he had her wrapped around his finger. It was so easy - she was obedient, horny and willing to fuck. That was all he really needed. And that was exactly how it should have been.

She touched his arm and whispered something, but he didn't hear her. His attention switched from her to the conversation of two men behind him.

“This guy's disgusting. You saw how much he drooled over that poor girl? I hope she escaped from him.”

“I don't think she did, I saw him following her with that creepy smile.”

B/N instantly pushed the girl and shoved through the crowd. He was sure they were talking about you and he felt rage spreading all over his body. He was furious - not only at Sheng but also at himself. Why was he so stubborn? He knowingly left you in creep's hands just because you made him mad. He was so stupid... After all, it wasn't only your fault.

If anything happened to you, he would have blamed himself for this for the rest of his life.

When he was close to the restroom area he heard your voice - mix of annoyance and a bit of fear.

“I told you to leave me alone, for fuck's sake.”

B/N's moves became faster, he was ready to rip Sheng's head off.

“Oh come on, sweetheart. Let's play a little bit.”

His hand closed into a fist.

“Get your fucking dirty hands off of me!”

His fist met the side of Sheng's head with so much power that he himself hissed from pain. Sheng flew on the floor with a groan.

B/N glanced at you with concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah... I... I'm fine,” you assured, stunned.

B/N looked at the motionless body on the ground. “Geez, this piece of shit pisses me off. Come, I'm gonna drop you home.”

You followed B/N to his car absolutely confused. Firstly, he left you with some fucked up idiot, and then he appeared out of nowhere and knocked the guy down. Changes of his character were so drastic that you started to question his sanity. Was he normally like that? You tried to remember how he acted when you met him for the first time. He was distant, extremely cold and harsh. But something definitely changed. He became... more protective, in a twisted way.

But the thing that shocked you the most was the fact that he didn't try to hide that you turned him on anymore. You noticed a few times that he had a hard-on when you were around but today he didn't even try to brush it off, like he always did. Maybe he was even willing to take your offer seriously. He always seemed like he had full control of himself, yet he lost his composure a few times because of you.

Maybe Kyo was right, maybe B/N wasn't as tough as he wished to be seen as.

“We arrived already, you know,” he laughed suddenly. You turned your head rapidly. It was the first time you heard his laugh and you must have admitted - it was a beautiful sound. You wished he would do that more often.

You studied his face for a second, when you noticed a bit of blood on his cheek. You looked down. “You've injured yourself,” you said, grabbing his hand. He took a sharp breath when you touched his knuckles. “Come upstairs, I will clean this.”

“There's no need.” He tried to free himself but you pushed your fingers onto his wound. He hissed from pain.

“Upstairs, I said.”

He was sitting on the edge of your bathtub with rolled sleeves, while you were looking for something to disinfect his hand with. It was like he was in some kind of trance, admiring your every move with squinted eyes. He felt things he never felt and couldn't even name.

“Ha, found you, you fucker,” you squeaked, grabbing a little bottle from the drawer. He laughed. You looked like a small child after they unwrapped a present. So innocent. You looked at him amazed. “I... it will hurt a bit.”

He nodded, his eyes still on you. You came closer and knelt down, taking his hand in yours. He stopped breathing, not because of the pain, but because of your position. His mind got flooded with inappropriate images, and his mouth became dry suddenly.

Your gaze was focused on his fingers, skin hotter than he had imagined. He felt completely defeated. “Done. I can't put a band aid on it so...” you started but stopped in the middle of the sentence when your eyes met his. He noticed how your cheeks reddened, and how you bit on your lower lip. He wanted nothing more than to lower his head and kiss you. He wanted to be the one to abuse your lips. He moved slightly, but you stood up before he even had a chance to feel your breath on his face. “You should go now, B/N.”

Your mind was one big mess. Memory of yesterday's situation inside your bathroom was as fresh as if it happened minutes ago. You remembered very clearly the look in his eyes, and you were sure yours was the same, you remembered the heat of his skin on yours, his breath fanning your face. You couldn't deny it anymore, you desired him. And it was more than clear that he wanted you, too. And that was a huge problem.

However, the biggest problem was that you invited B/N into your house in the first place. His injury wasn't even close to things you saw before, shit, it was almost non-existent, and yet you couldn't leave him like that. Maybe you had a soft heart after all.

Now you were sitting on the bed with your phone in the hand, hesitant about what you were planning to do.

You started this job to ruin him, to turn his luxurious life into a horror, and probably close him behind the bars, not to actually fell for his charms. You were supposed to be his nightmare. Nothing more. But he made you feel things you didn't feel for a long time. For the first time in years, or maybe even in your whole life, you started to desire not only man's body but also his attention and... heart.

The worst thing was that you didn't understand why you wanted him so badly. He did quite a few things that would probably scare any sane person away. But he had something in him that pulled you so hard that you were ready to let those words and actions slide away. He was almost impossible to resist. He was constantly in your head, your mind provided you scenarios that were rather scary. You couldn't allow yourself to fall in love with him, that was not an option, and you needed to remember that.

With that in mind, you dialed Anna's number. That was the best thing to do for now. “Hey Anna, um- I... I need a day off. Can you pass it to B/N,” you said when she answered finally. You felt bad giving her that task. She would definitely get yelled at, but you couldn't do it yourself. The sound of B/N's voice would change your mind, you were painfully aware of that.

“Something happened? You don't sound good.”

“Well no... I mean, yes... kind of?”

“What's going on, Y/N?”

“I just... I don't feel well, you know? Please, just tell him I won't come today.”

“He won't be pleased with it. Since the early morning, he was nagging me to sent you to him as soon as you come to the office. He wanted to talk about something important or... I don't know. He was pretty weird. But I can't, and I don't want to force you to anything.”

“Thank you. I will see you tomorrow?” It wasn't really a statement. You weren't sure if you would come or not. You needed space and time to think about everything, and his presence wasn't helping at all.

Even though, you didn't trust Kyo anymore, it wasn't like you were going to ditch your mission. You wanted to know what B/N possibly hid and why Kyo so desperately wanted those information. Or, if there was really nothing on B/N, you wanted to find out who and why was trying to end him. You just needed to come up with different, smarter plan. Maybe getting closer to him wasn't the worst idea, you would get to know not only his secrets but his body and time would be at your disposal.

And that, wouldn't be too bad.

But what would happen later? You would disappear into thin air, without any explanation, without anything really, but all feelings and memories would stay with you for the rest of your life. Were few weeks or months with him worth remembering them till your last days? Were you ready for such sacrifice?

Your phone suddenly started buzzing, interrupting your thoughts. Without looking at the screen, you picked it up.

“Yes?”

“Y/N, what's going on?” B/N's voice was laced with worry.

Your grip on the phone tightened. “I'm not in the best state. I need to rest a bit,” you answered quietly. His call was the last thing you needed right now. You could have imagined him, sitting in his chair with slightly messy hair and raised eyebrows. He was probably in another perfectly tailored suit that made him look so tempting. You shook your head, trying to focus on something else. To focus on anything beside him.

“Is it because of what happened yesterday?” Now he sounded even gentler. He was obviously worried, making your heart skip a beat. You wanted to feel his arms around you so badly now.

“No, absolutely not,” you answered. No matter what you couldn't let him know that that situation affected you in any way. He shouldn't know how much power he had over you.

He sighed. “I'm sorry that I left you alone at that damn party. It was stupid. If you want, if it will make you feel better, I can turn Sheng's life into a real hell.”

“What? No, I already forgot about that. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time that something like this happened to me.” You bit your tongue immediately after the last sentence left your mouth. You said that without thinking, without even realizing what you just did. Opening up to him was the worst thing you could have done. “Forget I said that. I don't know why I did it.”

“What do you mean forget it? You were sexually assaulted before? What the fuck,” he raised his voice shocked. “Why are you so chill about it?” You could almost see how he straightened in his chair, how his muscle tensed.

“B/N, it was long ago and... well, I don't need to explain it to you.”

“Are you kidding me? You know how much power I have, I can make anyone pay for what they did, I can...”

“Stop it. I don't even remember who those people were. Plus, why would you do this? Why do you care?”

“Because...fuck.” He sounded annoyed and angry. It was kind of... sweet that he cared about you so much, even if he didn't want to admit to it. “If you don't want, then okay. But if it's not because of Sheng, why can't you come today? Is it about what happened later?”

Your heart sped up. “No. Why are you so stubborn? I want to rest, that's it. Can't you understand that? Just go with your day and leave me alone for some time.” You ended the call angrily, throwing the phone on the bed.

Why? Why the fuck he started to care about you? He was making everything so hard. Something changed... he changed. You didn't give him any reason to like you, let alone to be so concerned about you. You were a pain in the ass, to say the least. So why he suddenly became so worried about you?

You sneaked into Markus' house and took your shoes off. “Bro, are you here?”

“Yeah. Take a bottle of water from kitchen with you.”

You entered the small room and stopped in your track. The inside was so messy that you couldn't put your foot anywhere. Markus was always busy but that couldn't be excused. Empty bottles of water, dirty paper plates and pizza boxes were scattered around everywhere. How could he live like that?

“Hey, can you be a little bit cleaner? It's not that hard to take out the trash, you know,” you yelled, kicking your way to the other side of kitchen.

“I'm kinda busy, Y/N. And that's your fault, by the way. If you want, you can clean it up.”

“Sure and what else,” you mocked, annoyed. The truth was that you would probably do it anyway. It wouldn't be the first time. Besides, he had a point. He was doing research for you without anything in return and you could do at least that for him. In fact, cleaning his house was like a currency in your friendship – he was looking for things for you, and in return you were making his place fit for living.

You took a full bottle from the floor and headed to Markus' office. “Here.”

“Thanks.”

You sat on a stool and looked at one of the screens. “How's work?”

He sighed, leaning in the chair. “Not as good as I would like to. Kyo is not stupid, I knew that, but it seems that his little pet Sammy is actually a lot smarter than I thought. He did pretty good job, Kyo's files are strongly secured and I need a lot more time to break those algorithms.”

“Can I help you somehow?”

“Not with this, we both know you have no idea what I'm doing here,” he laughed. “But you can cook something. I haven't eaten anything besides pizza for... a week?”

“Jesus, didn't I tell you to stop with all this unhealthy food?”

“Quit nagging, you're not my mother,” he said with a cheeky smile. You hit his head playfully and got up.

Cooking with what Markus had in his fridge wasn't an easy task but you finally managed to do something edible. You also cleaned his whole house and pleased with results, you came back to him. He quickly digged into the food with content sigh.

You took a better look at him. He was slimmer than before, and dark circles reached nearly to half of his cheeks. He was spending definitely too much time on this. You felt terrible because of this. He was ready to do anything to help you, even if that meant not taking care of himself.

Markus glanced at you, and opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by your ringing phone. You looked at the screen and declined the call immediately.

“Who was that?”

“B/N. I really don't want to talk to him right now.”

“Anything happened?”

“Actually, yes. You could say that we had a moment yesterday.” Markus choked and looked at you suspiciously. “Not in a way that you think. In short, he took me to a business party where some dude stuck to me for the whole night. Mind you, he was disgusting, and B/N left me with him all alone. But then he hit him, injured his hand because of it, I invited him to my house to take care of it and... I don't know, the atmosphere... It was pretty intense. And today he's calling me nonstop because I took day off.”

“You didn't want to be around him.”

“Yeah. I'm fucked, man. I'm so confused, I don't know what I'm feeling. On the one hand, I want to be close to him but on the other, I want to avoid him as much as I can. What am I suppose to do?”

Your phone buzzed again. Annoyed, you looked at the screen and rolled your eyes. Wasn't he tired of calling? What did he even want from you at this point?

“Answer it, maybe it's something important,” Markus said with troubled expression.

You hesitated for a moment but finally picked it up. “B/N, can you stop already?” The other end of the line was silent. You could only heard his fast, erratic breath and some weird slow music. “B/N?”

“What are you doing to me, Y/N? Why am I doing things I wouldn't normally do?”

You looked at Markus with confusion written all over your face. “Are you drunk?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

“Where are you?” You stood up, ready to pick him up. He definitely had too much alcohol. You knew he could drink a lot, he was good at it. But if he brought himself to such state, it meant that he crossed his limit.

And it seemed like it was your fault.

He laughed loudly. “What? Are you gonna come and save me? Why should I explain myself to you if you didn't want to do the same?”

“B/N, where the fuck are you?”

“Find me.”

And with that he ended the call. You tried to reach him a few more times, but he ignored you. You groaned. “Markus, can you track him?”

Half hour later you entered richly looking bar. It was full of man in suits and girls with few or none clothes on. You were in places like this before, and every time was like a torture for you. They were all the same, the same pits of despair for wealthy, horny men.

You searched the inside with a glance, wanting nothing more than to leave as quickly as possible, and noticed B/N at the corner. On the table, he was sitting by, stood around four empty bottles and girl in dress shorter than you ever saw, was kissing B/N's neck. He wasn't even looking at her, visibly unsatisfied with her company.

But you merely noticed it. You clenched your hands in to fists, ready to hit someone. Anyone really. The fact that she had her arms wrapped around him made you boil with anger.

You moved into his direction, and as soon as you reached him, you dragged the girl from him. “Out,” you commanded with anger in voice. B/N looked at you puzzled. His eyes were glossy, and skin pinkish. He was drunker than you expected.

“Find yourself someone else, girl,” she said, trying to push you away.

You grabbed her wrist and spun her around. “I said, get the fuck out of here. Your pretty little face won't be this pretty anymore if you don't listen to me. I won't repeat myself,” you gritted through clenched teeth. She broke out of your grip and with mad expression on her face, she left. You turned around and crossed your arms. B/N was looking at you amazed. “Get up, we are leaving.”

“How did you find me,” he stammered.

“You want me to drag you from here? Because I definitely can. Move your ass, you drunkard.” Without looking behind you, you headed to the door.

When you sat in your car, your hands gripped the wheel madly. What was he even doing? Was he really this upset with you? He was acting like a teenager, not like a well-known CEO, and it made you question everything you learned about him up to now.

He joined you second later and obediently fastened his seat belt. You glanced at him and noticed how carefully he was watching you. He probably didn't expect you to come this fast. Hell, he probably didn't expect you to come at all.

During the whole way to his apartment neither of you said anything. Few times he opened his mouth as if to say something, but he closed them as soon as he looked at you. You wanted to scream at him, to make him understand how dumb were his actions. He couldn't be this stupid. Drinking almost till he lost consciousness, fooling around with a random girl. It wasn't what prosperous businessman should do on weekdays.

You stopped your car in the parking lot of his apartment's complex and turned the engine off. You looked at him with daggers in your eyes.

“Get out and sleep it off,” you gritted through your teeth, but he didn't even flinch.

“Can you come with me?”

You blinked a few times, amused with his bluntness. “What?”

“I... I don't think I can make it alone. The whole world is spinning.”

You sighed, exhausted. Going into his house wasn't your dream right now. You were extremely mad at him, but still some part of you cared for him too much to leave him alone now. Again...

You knew it was a bad idea however, you got out of your car and help him stand on his feet. He staggered and your arm instinctively wrapped around him. He was close, too close. You felt his hot, stinking of alcohol breath on your cheek. Your whole body tensed.

You dragged him to an elevator and pushed him inside. He stumbled, losing the last bits of balance he had in him. He leaned forward, crushing you between him and a cold metal surface. His hands grabbed your hips in an attempt to steady himself. You sucked the breath harshly. Your skin burnt like crazy and your head was spinning with the feeling of B/N's proximity.

You put your hands on his torso and pushed him lightly. “B/N move, I need to select the floor.” His grip on you tightened. Without looking at a panel, he pushed one of the buttons with his elbow and put his head on your shoulder. You held your breath startled. His lips were dangerously close to your neck, and you stupidly wished he would put them on you. “What are you doing?”

“I'm not sure,” he laughed. His breath tickled your skin, sending shivers down your spine. “I just want you closer.”

“You're drunk, you're talking crazy.”

“Maybe. But it feels nice.” Your heart was racing. It felt nice, but it was so wrong at the same time.

When his mouth touched your sensitive skin, the door opened and you left the lift as fast as you could. B/N lurched forward and groaned dissatisfied.

“Keys,” you ordered, extending your arm.

He smirked, coming closer to you. “I have them in the pocket of my jeans. I can't pull them out.”

You looked at him annoyed and grabbed him by the belt. You pushed your hand into his front pocket and mentally slap yourself in an attempt to slow your heart down. His pants were extremely tight and you had problems with moving your fingers. You felt B/N's eyes on you, observing your every move with heavy breath. When you finally grabbed the keys and pulled your hand out, you accidentally brushed against B/N's hardening dick. He moaned shamelessly. Your whole body tensed again, and you needed to take a deep breath to calm yourself. With reddening cheeks you turned around and opened the door to his apartment, trying to ignore how much you wanted to jump him.

His apartment was bigger than you expected. It was filled with modern and richly looking furniture, everything was neat and clean, and it smelled like a mix of B/N's perfume and the man himself. Now, even breathing was hard.

You glanced over your shoulder. “You're inside, so I will go now.”

B/N blocked your way. “Can you stay a little longer,” he pleaded.

“For what?”

“Just stay for ten fucking minutes, can't you do this? Is someone waiting for you?”

You sighed and headed to the kitchen. You grabbed a glass, filled it with water and went to his bedroom, expecting him to follow you. You set the glass on the table beside the huge bed, leaned against it and looked at B/N. He was struggling with buttons of his suit, and with roll of your eyes, you came closer to him. You pushed his hands away and helped him took it off. You hesitated for a moment but finally removed his shirt too. His body was deliciously fit and lightly tanned. Every muscle was highly visible and tempting. You wanted to trace your hands over his skin, find every mark on it, and kiss every centimeter of him. But you needed to be the responsible one.

B/N's fingers closed around your wrist. “I kinda like it.”

“Stop it. Take your pants off and go to the bed.”

“Oh and it's getting better.”

You shook your head and stepped aside. You took a look around his bedroom. It was frighteningly empty, no photos, no decorations, nothing. It looked exactly like your room. From what you've heard, he wasn't close with his family, so the reason behind this emptiness was also similar. Maybe he resembled you more than you initially thought.

You heard the squeak of his bed, so you turned to him.

“Can I go now?”

“Jesus Christ, why are you in such a hurry?”

“Okay, okay, fine,” you groaned and sat on the floor beside the nightstand. B/N rolled on his side and set his eyes on you. “If you don't want me to go, maybe instead you want to tell me why did you drink so much?”

He was silent for a few minutes before he answered slowly, “You pissed me off this morning and... I don't know, I was mad at you... at me, and it kinda just happened.”

“And why would you be mad at me? I wanted one day off. One day.”

“You didn't want to tell me what was going on, and I was... worried. Don't look at me like that, I know it sounds weird, but I can't really explain it.”

You traced your fingers on his arm without thinking. His words pulled at the strings in your heart that you didn't even know existed. He could act as if he had no emotions, but his drunk self was brutally honest, telling you things you were scared to hear. The truth was that even if he didn't want to admit it, or maybe he didn't understand it yet, he was falling for you.

And that scared the hell out of you because you started to feel the same.

You never really experienced something like this. It was so new to you. Caring about someone that way, wanting to be with them and receiving the same from that person was nice. But deep down you couldn't convince yourself that love was something for you. No one ever loved you, and until now, you were sure that that was how it should have been. Was it even useful to change it now?

You opened your mouth to say that you really need to leave but you closed them when you noticed that B/N fell asleep already. His breath was slow and rhythmic, lips slightly parted, hair covered his closed eyes and fingers laced together with yours. He looked so peaceful, so beautiful.

You moved closer and traced your digits over his face. “What are we going to do now, B/N?”

You took his keys, hoping he would think he left them somewhere and headed to the security guard situated by the entrance of the building.

“Hey, I'm Y/N. I'm B/N's assistant. Can you please do something for me?”

The old man looked at you with a friendly smile. “How can I help you, miss?”

“Can you check on B/N tomorrow morning? He drank too much and I'm kind of scared that something may happen to him in sleep. I know I shouldn't leave him alone but I can't really stay here. I would be so grateful.”

“It's gonna be weird, but sure. What should I say to him?”

“Whatever you want. But don't mention I was here, please.”

You got in the car and leaned your head on the steering wheel, defeated.

Annoying sound of doorbell woke B/N up. He opened his eyes carefully but closed them as soon as the sunlight blinded him. His head was heavy and it throbbed with pain. Everything was too bright and too loud. He wasn't sure where he was but quick check of his surroundings told him he was in his own bed.

How the hell he ended up here?

He couldn't remember single thing from yesterday. All he knew was that he got mad at you and went to drink. Everything that happened later was a mystery for him. Did he do anything weird? Did he hook up with someone? Who brought him here?

The doorbell rang again. He stood up with a groan and noticed a glass of water on the bedside. Did he put it here? He downed it and headed to the door.

He was confused. No one ever visited him... besides girls he invited himself. Was it one of them? “Coming,” he yelled when the sound of bell filled his ears one more time. He wanted to throw up because of it. Every step required a lot more strength than normally.

“Good morning, sir. Sorry for interrupting you so early but I wanted to tell you that there's been a suspicious man who sniffed around our building, so you should be careful,” said the older man. From what B/N remembered he was one of the security guards. He had no idea what was his name, not that it was important for him.

“Okay, I will remember this.” He was about to close the door, when he thought about something. “Hey, you were here all night?”

“Yes, why are you asking?”

“Do you perhaps know how I got here,” he asked with hope.

The man tensed and scratched his head, averting B/N's gaze. “Well...”

“Yes,” B/N insisted, looking at the man suspiciously.

“Well... some girl brought you here.”

“And what did she look like?”

“I don't remember clearly, sorry.”

B/N sighed. “That's fine, thanks.” He closed the door and leaned on them. So he was with a girl yesterday. Who was it? Why didn't she stayed with him? He had some bits of memories, memories of someone undressing him, but it was so faint that he couldn't tell if those were real or if it was just a dream.

What really happened last night?

And why, for fuck's sake, he was this horny from the early morning?

He came back to his room and grabbed his phone. The thing he was about to do... he wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but he needed some relief. And he needed it as fast as possible.

With a weird feeling, something too similar to betrayal, he called Anna.

You entered the office extremely late. You didn't know what to expect. Was B/N already there? Was he okay? Did he remember anything from yesterday? You yourself couldn't sleep at all. Your mind was full of thoughts about him and the situation you were in. You were scared of your own feelings, and didn't know what to do with all of this anymore.

You said hello to Anna and headed to B/N's office.

“He's not there,” Anna informed you.

You turned around to look at her, suddenly worried. “Something happened?”

“I don't think so. He called me earlier and said that he will be out today because he has a remarkably important thing to do. For me, it was bullshit. Yesterday he was worse than normally, and he got out of the office pretty quickly, so I assume that he drank too much. Nothing to worry about.”

He was fine and that was the only thing that mattered to you.

You looked at the clock on your phone. Fifteen more minutes and you would be free. It was so boring without B/N, the only thing you did was stroll around the company aimlessly and talked with people about nothing important. You tried to keep your mind occupied with things other than B/N but it was hard. What was he doing? What was that thing he needed to do? You thought whether you should call him or not but finally decided not to. There wasn't really a need and you didn't want to look like you were worried about him.

You slowly got up from your chair and gathered all your belongings.

“I'm gonna go, Anna. I'm bored and there is no reason for me to be here any longer,” you said.

“Okay. I will see you tomorrow,” she answered without looking at you. You were about to step into the elevator when she yelled, “Y/N! You picked up B/N's suit from tailor, right?”

You spun on your heel with fear in your eyes, “Holy shit. He's gonna kill me.”

“He probably will. Here,” Anna threw a key in your direction. You caught it with confusion written all over your face. “It's a spare key to his apartment. Just in case.”

You thanked her, even though you didn't really need it, and rushed into the elevator. You hit the button with fist and leaned your head on the cold surface of the huge mirror inside. After all the things that happened you actually forgot about your duties as the assistant. Maybe he was nicer to you, but he definitely still cared about his job and appearance. He never showed up at meetings in the same clothes. The change in his feelings towards you wouldn't really matter in that case.

The ride was rather short and you were extremely glad for it. You parked on the pavement, jumped out of your car and sped to the luxury store. Middle-aged woman behind a counter looked at you suspiciously. You tried to catch your breath before standing straight.

“Hello, I'm here to pick Mr. B/L/N suit.”

“Oh, right.” Her voice was moderately calm but you picked trace of irritation in it. “I was waiting the whole day, miss.”

“I'm so sorry, it was such a busy day at work. I couldn't make it earlier,” you lied.

Woman eyed you up and down and her eyes softened a little bit. “It's okay, I understand. It's probably hard to work for such demanding young man,” she laughed.

“Only sometimes,” you smiled softly, taking a bag with suit from her. “Thank you so much and once again, I'm really sorry for the inconvenience. Goodbye.”

You left the store and rolled eyes. Hard? That's a huge understatement.

You hanged the suit over your arm and moved towards B/N's apartment. It wasn't far from the shop and some walk seemed like a good idea to clear your head a bit. You prayed under your nose that the thing he needed to do involved going out, and he wouldn't be at home because that would probably mean scolding.

You sighed. You weren't sure if you were ready to meet him after previous night. You were scared but on the other hand, you wished he would be at home. It was still hard to admit it but you really missed his face, his voice, the way he looked at you.

You approached his building complex and said hello to a different security guard this time. He bowed his head and let you in after you introduced yourself. You pulled out keys and slowly opened the door. The inside was peaceful and quiet. You exhaled. He was out. You kicked your shoes off, put your bag on the table in the kitchen and headed into his bedroom.

You definitely weren't ready for what you saw.

B/N was lying in his bed... with a girl between his legs. She was sucking him off with the most unpleasant sound you ever heard. You were sure she didn't know what she was doing. And his face confirmed your assumptions - he covered his eyes with hand but you saw his bored expression.

You were shocked, to say the least. So, that was the thing he needed to take care off. Remarkably important thing. Fucking jerk. And you were worried about him all day. For no reason. You should have known better. All those changes in him? Those sincere words from yesterday? It was a bullshit. He didn't change at all, he didn't care about you. And you fell for that.

Feeling of betrayal clamped around your heart. If anything started to bloom between the two of you, now it was gone. Like everything else in your life.

You pulled yourself together and cleared your throat, “B/N?”

His eyes snapped open and he looked directly at you. The girl raised her head with drool all over her chin unmoved. You chuckled, scanning his body slowly and staring a little too long at his thick half hard cock. It was pathetic. She was terrible, and she didn't even care. The thought of you on her place crossed your mind and you blinked shocked. It wasn't the time for thoughts like this.

“What are you doing here?” B/N asked with guilt in his eyes. Quit acting, you fucker.

You glanced at him with fake smile, “I brought you your suit. Sorry for the delay.”

“That's okay. Hang it in the wardrobe.”

“Sure thing.”

As soon as you stepped into the closet, you heard his moans. You stopped abruptly and took a sharp breath. What the fuck, B/N? Just a few seconds ago you were bored and now she suddenly knows how to make you feel this good? Sounds he was producing made you clenched your shaky thighs together, your core burned more and more with every moan that left his lips. You shut your eyes and tried to calm your racing heart and erratic breath. Oh god, you're doing this on purpose. You hung the suit with shaky hands and leaned against a dresser. Calm down, Y/N, calm down. It's not like you never heard man moan. Heck, you were the reason they made those sounds in the first place! He's doing this just to make fun of you, just to make you aware that you're stupidly naive.

You couldn't control your feelings. You were angry, disappointed and wronged but no matter what sounds that were escaping his lips aroused you, and you hated yourself for this. You felt the wetness gathering on the fabric of your underwear and it was becoming uncomfortable. There was no point in staying there any longer. You took deep breath and left the wardrobe, trying to appear more confident than you were.

You stopped with a hand on the door. “I put the suit on the left. I want to remind you that you have a meeting at eight tomorrow so please, don't play for too long... boss,” you said with blank expression, staring directly into his eyes. Before you closed the door, you heard him swear.

“Are you crazy,” the girl screamed, coughing hysterically.

You laughed, feeling almost dead inside.

She was useless. He didn't feel anything even though she had her lips around his cock for what seemed like an hour now. He didn't go to work today and invited her to his house to finally relieve some pressure that built in him but it was no use. He felt even worse than before. She didn't know what she was doing, and he started to think that he should throw her out. It wasn't a good idea after all. She wasn't you...

He was about to stop her and throw her out when he heard your voice. “B/N?”

His eyes opened so fast that his vision got blurred. It wasn't his imagination, you were standing there, looking at his body. His cock twitched a little, and he swore in his head. Your eyes ignited the flame in his body that the girl between his legs couldn't do for such a long time. He just needed you around to get hard.

“What are you doing here?” The first thing he noticed when he regained his composure was the harsh look in your eyes. You were mad, it was obvious to him. He felt the guilt building up in him even more.

“I brought you your suit. Sorry for the delay.”

“That's okay. Hang it in the wardrobe.” Wild idea crossed his mind. Maybe it wasn't that bad that you came here. He needed you to get rid of this annoying feeling of dissatisfaction. And if he couldn't have you directly, your presence would be enough. It wouldn't be the same, but he couldn't count on more.

“Sure thing.” He focused on the way your hips sway from side to side when you moved to the wardrobe, and he pushed the girl back onto his dick. She started to suck him again with the same slow pace but this time it felt different. Now his eyes were on your back. He was imagining your plump lips around him instead, he tried to picture you in her position with your hair all over your redden face and drool dripping from your chin.

Loud moan left his parted lips. He wanted you, he wanted you so badly right now. He was ready to throw this girl out of his house if you only said one word. He didn't care about her at all, his mind was occupied with you and it felt so perfect. He saw how your legs trembled and it drove him closer to his climax. He was affecting you the same way you affected him. You could say and do whatever you wanted but you still desired him.

You turned around and he quickly looked away. “I put the suit on the left. I want to remind you that you have a meeting at eight tomorrow so please” you stared into his eyes with blank expression, but your gaze held so much power that he almost lose it, he loved that, “don't play for too long... boss.” He couldn't control himself anymore. As soon as you finished your sentence he came hard, filling the girl's mouth with his seed. Echo of the word “boss” rang inside his head, tormenting him. He never knew that it would arouse him but when it left your pretty lips he lost every bit of control he had. It was a bit embarrassing that he came so fast but it doesn't really matter at that moment. He finally got what he wanted.

“Are you crazy,” the girl screamed, coughing hysterically. He didn't pay any attention to her, trying to catch his breath after long-awaited climax. “I told you that I don't want you to finish inside my mouth! It's gross. Jesus, now you need to do something for me, too,” she smiled sweetly while tracing her fingers on his leg.

“Get out,” he said.

“What?”

“I said, get the fuck out,” he repeated irritated.

“Don't you think I need something in return for the favor?”

“I didn't come thanks to you. You, in fact, were terrible. It was because of her,” he pushed her to the other side of the bed and turned around. “Take your clothes and get out.”

“You son of a bitch,” she yelled, grabbed her belongings and run out of the room.

He closed eyes slowly and imagined you next to him - exhausted, sweaty and his...

You threw yourself on your sofa and groaned loudly. “Fuck you, B/N,” you yelled into the ceiling frustrated. Your whole body, every muscle inside you burnt with anger and desire.

That was why you never engaged yourself in love. Being this vulnerable because of someone, always brought you pain. It made you weak and miserable. You should have learned already that depending on other people was the worst thing to do. They were always only pretending to care. Just as your own parents.

You ran your hand through your hair irritated. You definitely weren't sane. Why the hell you couldn't push his image out of your head? How could you be still attracted to the man that deceived you?

You couldn't concentrate because of the burning feeling in your abdomen. Flustered, you squeezed your thighs together to get some friction. When you moved your hand down, you told yourself over and over again that you were doing this just to get rid of that feeling. Not because of your mind, flashing you image of his sweaty body. Not because of his sweet moans, echoing in your ears.

Your fingers brushed past your wet folds and you pushed them inside you with a low groan. With every move of your hand you were more and more mad. It wasn't enough, it simply didn't feel right.

With heavy feeling of hate, you tried to imagine his lips on your neck, sucking and kissing your hot skin, his long fingers moving inside you, his deep voice saying dirty things right into your ear.

“B/N.” Long moan left your lips shamelessly. You felt dirty. You were nothing to him and yet, there you were, pleasing yourself to the thought of him. How low could you fall?

You digged nails into your thigh hardly, when you finally reached your high.

When a guy from an accounting department, whose name you forgot, told you that the team have planned to go to the party after work and you should join them, you eagerly agreed. Events of recent days became too hard to handle for you and you desperately needed some time to relax and forget, even for a few minutes, about B/N. For the past few days your head was full of extreme thoughts. You weren't sure if you still wanted to continue your task, if you wanted to stay around B/N any longer. You were hurt, and the fact that he acted like nothing happened at first was even more upsetting. He finally noticed the change in your attitude but it seemed that it wasn't something he cared about.

That was why you agreed to join the team that Friday night. That, and because you didn’t even remember when was the last time you went out, not to mention the last time you had sex. And you needed it more than ever. Because of the memory of that night, which you couldn't push out of your head, you were terribly tensed and needy. Even though, you felt terrible about it, that was your reality.

And when you learned that he was probably going too, you felt the need to make him angry, you wanted him to feel what you felt that day you had caught him with another girl. You wished he would really come, see you with someone else and go beyond his limits. You wanted him to boil with anger, to suffer.

“You got this, Y/N. It’s gonna be fine,” you said to yourself. You finished applying red lipstick and took last glance at your image in the mirror. You looked sexy, your black tight mini dress hugged your body in all right places, highlighting the fact that you didn’t wear a bra. Your hair fell back over your shoulders in perfect curls and your makeup was minimal except for bright red lipstick. You smiled to yourself, grabbed a bag from the bed and headed out from your apartment.

When you walked out of a cab right in front of a club, loud sensual music hit your ears. Small groups of drunk people were standing by the entrance, some laughing, some kissing. The inside of the club was extremely hot, smelled like alcohol, weed and sweaty bodies. Dim light and smoke were creating mysterious and arousing atmosphere. People were dancing close to each other, grinding on strangers shamelessly.

You missed such places. There was a time in your life when you spent night after night in clubs like this one, drinking and fooling around with men. It was your way to blow off steam. But since you started your mission that was rare. You spent most of your time at the office with B/N or at Markus’ house, searching for any clues that could help you understand the whole situation you were in. Today was your long-awaited time to relax.

“Y/N,” you heard someone from the left calling your name, so you turned in that direction. You saw a few people from work, sitting on a red couch. You didn’t remember their names except for Anna’s. You smiled at them and sat beside her.

“Beer? Cocktail,” asked guy in a white shirt. You remembered him from somewhere but you weren’t sure where he exactly worked. He was handsome but your plan was to hook up with someone who wouldn’t lose their job because of it.

“Vodka, a lot of vodka,” you said with a grin.

Hour later you lost count of how much you had drunk. You felt dizzy and extremely hot. You didn't have such good time in months. However, there was no sign of B/N and you didn’t really want to wait any longer for him. He probably decided to not come. You started scanning the dance floor, looking for someone suitable for the night. No one really caught your attention until you saw a guy standing by the bar. He was looking at you hungrily, sipping slowly on his whiskey. His tight white button shirt was slightly open, revealing tanned body, his hair were messy and you imagined running your fingers through them. Heat between your legs became unbearable.

You got up with intention to come closer to him but Anna’s hand grabbed your wrist. You turned to her with question on your face.

“You sure you can go anywhere in that state,” she asked. You only nodded your head, scared that she would sense the need in your voice. “Don’t you want to wait for boss?”

You shrugged, yanking your hand from her grip. You looked at the guy again. He was closer now, slowly swaying his body to the rhythm. Wait for boss? For what? Fuck him.

You approached the guy with a smirk on your lips. “Hey,” you said, linking your arms around his neck.

“Hey pretty.” His hands landed on your ass and pulled you close to him. He lowered his head to your neck, kissing and sucking on your skin roughly. You moaned loudly, grinding on his half hard dick, and he squeezed your butt in response. You felt wave of heat in your core, you couldn’t wait any longer, you needed some relief.

You grabbed his hair, pulled his head up and smashed your lips with his. The kiss was rough and needy. One of his hands traveled under the hem of your dress and touched your pussy through panties. You felt him smirk into the kiss when he felt how wet you were.

“Bathroom,” you mumbled between shaky breaths.

He swung you around and guided you to the closed area. His arm around your waist sent shivers down your spine. It didn't feel as good as you wanted, but he was better than nothing.

You kissed him again once the door to the bathroom closed with a quiet click. You run your fingers through his already messy hair, tugging it strongly. He lifted the hem of your dress up to your belly button and shoved his hand into your underwear. You groaned, throwing your head back and giving him access to your neck. He sucked at it again, leaving marks on the sensitive skin. He pushed his erection into your thigh, pinching your swollen pussy at the same time. You screamed in pain and pleasure.

You definitely needed it. You were sure you wouldn't remember his face tomorrow morning but that annoying feeling of dissatisfaction would be gone. And that was what you wanted. Screw B/N for now. Screw him and his fucking game.

The guy was about to push one of his fingers inside you when the door swung open, and he flew into the other side of the room…

He didn’t know why he was doing that exactly. He never went with his employees to party. Moreover, he never visited such filthy and unpleasant places like this bar. He preferred more elegant places with the same amount of horny girls ready to satisfy him. Now he felt disgusted and wanted to leave as soon as the smell of sweat hit his nose. How someone could enjoy something like this?

He looked around and noticed his secretary surrounded by people who he probably should have recognized. He didn’t even bother to recall their names, it was useless for him. He was here just to see you, just to observe how you acted in such environment. Maybe he even hoped that you would change your attitude towards him. After that… incident that happened in his bedroom, you became so cold, so distant, so… practical. You stopped arguing with him, you were doing all your tasks without a word and that made him furious.

He hated it, he hated every second of time spent with you. And it was all his fault. Just when he thought that the things started to look a bit different in his life, that maybe there was a chance and a reason to change his behavior, he fucking ruined it. All because of his stupid mind.

He came closer to the sofa and sat on the edge of it.

“Oh, look who’s here,” shouted a girl with short blond hair. She was clearly drunk as fuck, her eyes were foggy, and she spoke in irritating high-pitched voice. Her comment brought all eyes on him, making him kinda uncomfortable. “Boss, do you want to drink something?”

He looked at them with pity and finally realized that you weren’t there. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Sad,” she giggled and emptied shot of vodka.

B/N looked around, searching for you. He was mad at himself that he agreed to come here. He didn’t like those people, he couldn’t even drink. After the last time, there was no chance he would pour any alcohol in his system for a while.

He sighed and looked at keys in his hands ready to leave. What was the point of being around those people if you weren’t here?

“Boss?” He raised his head and glanced at his secretary. “Are you looking for Y/N?”

He twitched, shocked by her question. Was it that obvious? No, no one seemed to care, they were deep in other conversations, and they didn’t pay any attention to the both of them. Fuck.

“Why would I?”

“I don’t know, it was just a question,” she said while tracing her fingers on the edge of the glass. Something was off, he felt it.

“Just a question? Why did you ask that, huh,” he was mad. He didn’t like the idea of someone knowing that you were on his mind. Especially people who didn’t mean anything to him.

“Well, I thought you would ask about her since we told you she will come. I’m assuming that you agreed just because of this. After all, she’s the closest to you from all of us.” He exhaled slowly. She didn’t suspect anything after all.

He smiled to himself. “That’s true. So” he leaned towards her a little bit, “she didn’t come?”

“Oh no, she came.” He looked at her confused. Corners of her lips twitched. “I guess she’s with that hot guy that was looking at her all night. And I think she will definitely come more than once tonight” she giggled at her own joke.

B/N grabbed her by her shoulders. She whined at his sudden action. “Where the fuck is she?”

“How would I know? I'm not her guardian. Maybe bathroom?” He stood up abruptly and headed in given direction.

He gritted his teeth. Mad wasn’t even close to what he felt at this moment, he wanted to punch someone. Anyone, he didn’t care. He didn’t even understand completely why the thought of you with someone else made him this angry, but it did. He couldn't stand that someone could touch you, make you feel good. Fuck. Did you feel the same when you saw him that night?

He heard your lewd scream when he grabbed bathroom door’s knob. He pushed it quickly and saw you, head thrown back, eyes closed, mouth opened in pleasure and hand of a random guy in your underwear.

Without thinking, B/N punch him in the face, making him fly into the wall. He whined loudly and sank on the floor.

B/N looked at you with fury in his eyes…

Your eyes snapped open and you saw B/N in front of you. He was shaking with anger, his breath was fast and heavy, and his gaze was scarier than you've seen before.

You glanced at the unconscious guy who just seconds ago was about to fuck you. “What are you doing,” you screamed at B/N. You yanked your dress down and tried to come closer to his victim but B/N grabbed your hand and pushed you against the wall. “What?!”

“What,” he growled. “What am I doing? What the fuck are you doing?!”

“That’s non of your business, you jerk! I can do whatever I want! And I wanted to fuck him! Besides, you did the same! Am I not allow to?!”

The whole time you were trying to free yourself from his grip, but he was too strong for you. You attempted to kick him but in one second he grabbed both of your wrists in one hand, pinned them to the wall and caught your leg before you hit him. You cursed under your nose.

That was exactly what you wanted, you made him mad, he probably felt just like you. At least he looked like that. But you didn’t expect him to act this violent. You didn’t know he would take this so seriously.

You were about to scream at him again, but he suddenly kissed you.

You gasped shocked. His lips were much softer and sweeter than the guy’s on the floor, but they were much more greedy. You couldn’t lie, you loved the feeling of his mouth. You closed your eyes and thoughtlessly gave in the kiss. He made you a lot hornier. You felt the dampness inside your underwear more prominent than before. You wanted him, didn’t matter where or what will happen later, even what he did to you before wasn't important now, you just needed him. You moaned when his hand moved higher, touching your butt.

He broke the kiss and stared at you. You knew how you were looking, mouth opened, eyes hooded with desire and full of plea. He didn’t say anything, but he interlocked your fingers and pulled you out of the bathroom, leaving unconscious guy on the floor. He quickly crossed the dance floor and left the bar with you behind him. He opened his car and pushed you inside.

He was driving fast, definitely faster than he should have. He didn’t open his mouth during the ride even once. He looked extremely sexy with his clenched jaw and hands gripping the wheel strongly. But you were unsure, you didn’t know what he was planning. What if he wanted to drop you in your house?

Nah B/N, you’re not leaving me like this now.

Your intoxicated mind took action before you even thought about it carefully. Still looking directly at him, you slid hand down your body and you touched yourself through thin material of your panties. Quiet moan left your lips and brought B/N’s attention to you. He scanned your body, bringing more fire to your core. He clenched the wheel even tighter and sped more.

You knew you won.

When he pulled over to the parking in front of his apartment, you took out hand from your underwear. You wanted to open the door but he stopped you. He brought your fingers between his lips and suck your juices from them. His mouth was hot and his tongue… oh god, you imagined it on your pussy, slightly rough and definitely skilled. You moaned and yanked your hand back. One more minute and you were ready to fuck him in his expensive car.

He was faster than you, he opened door on your side and took you in his arms. You gasped loudly but quickly pushed your shock aside and you put your mouth on his neck, kissing and licking his hot skin. He growled and squeezed you tighter. You didn’t even notice when he entered his apartment. He stormed to his bedroom and threw you on the bed. You sat and took your heels off of your feet. Waiting eagerly for his next move, you moved on all fours and slowly licked your dry lips. He was looking at you and you were sure that after all he still wasn’t able to make up his mind. It was clear to you that he was torn between fucking you and leaving you there untouched.

“B/N,” you said in the most seductive way, “you can’t leave me now. Not when I want you so badly. I want you to fuck me. Rough. Please, boss.”

He was hesitant for a few seconds, but he finally grabbed you by your hair and brought you to his lips, “As you wish, kitten.”

He kissed you even harder than in the club. You felt intoxicated by his touch and smell, you needed him more than air at that moment. Your fingers found buttons of his shirt and you clumsily tried to undo it. He pushed you and ripped his shirt open. Sound of buttons hitting the floor made you gasped. B/N pinned you to the bed and yanked the front of your dress down, revealing your bare breast. Groan left his lips. His eyes on you made you hot, you wanted him to just fuck you, use you, whatever, you needed him inside you.

You were about to say this when his lips attacked your right nipple. You threw your head back, moaning loudly. His tongue swirled around it skillfully and then bit it harshly. Your hand flew into his hair and grabbed it. You felt him smirk into your skin, and then he repeated his action. Your mind was completely blank, there was only him, nothing else mattered. His every touch made you more desperate than you’ve ever been.

He released you and stood up. You looked at him confused. “Take off your clothes. Completely.” You obediently followed, throwing your dress and panties on the floor. “Good. On your knees,” he said while undoing his belt and taking off his jeans and underwear. You finally saw him completely naked in his full glory right in front of you. Your mouth watered at the sight of his cock. You licked your lips and looked up at him. “What are you waiting for? Suck.”

You grabbed his cock in your hand and gave it first lick, collecting precum from its tip. You hummed eagerly and took him fully in your mouth. He was hot, veiny and tasted insanely. You glanced at him when you started bobbing your head on his length, his eyes were closed, and he was breathing through clenched teeth. You couldn’t wait any longer, you needed some type of relief so you touched your wet folds. Shaky breath left your lips.

“Don’t even try,” B/N warned you, “Hands on your thighs.” His voice was deep, angry and filled with arousal. He grabbed your hair, wrap them around his hand and roughly yanked you on his dick. You choked, eyes widening at his violence. He started to fuck your mouth so aggressively that tears started to gather at the corner of your eyes, smearing your mascara all over your face. Saliva mixed with his salty precum dripped from your chin on the floor. You were so close to your high, you felt that tingly sensation build up inside your abdomen, and he wasn't even touching you. But then he stopped and pulled you on your feet. He licked your chin, looking straight into your eyes. “You want me, kitten?”

“Yes, boss.” Your voice was nothing more but a pleading whisper.

“I don’t think so. Try to convince me. What do you want from me?”

You swallowed impatiently. “I want you to fuck me, to use my body however you want to. Mark me, hit me, choke me, whatever, I just want your dick inside me, please,” you whined, touching his firm abs. “Please boss, please I…”

He didn’t let you finish, instead he pushed you on the bed again. “Get on all fours.”

His hand touched your butt and disappeared immediately just to land harshly on one of your cheeks seconds later. You moaned from pain and pleasure. He repeated it a few times, each one stronger than the previous. Your ass hurt as hell and you were sure that you will have problems with sitting tomorrow. But you didn’t care. You also didn’t care that your juices oozed from you down on the silk bed sheets, probably ruining them.

He hit you a few more time, but finally, after what seemed like an eternity, you felt his cock between your folds.

“B/N,” his name left your lips as a long whine and you felt him throb inside you. His moves were quick but steady, he filled you perfectly. Tears rolled down on your face, you were so sensitive, so close to your climax. You were sure that you wouldn’t last long. B/N grabbed your throat, squeezed it and brought you closer so that you were pressed to his chest.

“Are you going to cum for me like a good girl?” You nod slightly, unable to produce any words. His other hand traveled down to your clit and started rubbing it quickly. You couldn’t take it anymore.

Climax hit you so hard that you lost your vision, white spots danced in front of your eyes and you didn’t even hear your own weak scream. You were sure that if he wasn’t holding you, you would collapse. You never experienced something like this, it was the hardest orgasm you’ve ever had. You wanted nothing more than to lay on the soft bed and fall asleep.

But B/N wasn’t finished yet. He slammed into you harder and you screamed again. You were so overstimulated that his every move brought pain. You tried to free yourself and proposed to suck him off, but he only tightened his grip on your neck. You gasped for air and shut your eyes, unable to think anymore. His moves became sloppier, and he finally came with a loud moan. His hot seed filled you, bringing you to another orgasm.

Then there was only darkness…

He finally came. He was more than satisfied but the fact that this was probably the best sex and the hardest orgasm he ever had kinda terrified him. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere at the back of his mind such thought existed, but he didn’t want to admit it. You were intoxicating, that was certain. Your every move, every sound messed with his head, and he wasn’t sure if it was something good or bad. He didn’t really know what to think about it at all.

He loosened the grip on your throat. “Are you okay?”

You didn’t give him any response, so he looked at you with concern. Your head was laid on his shoulder, eyes closed and chest raising slowly. He smiled to himself.

Slowly, he put you on the bed and headed to the bathroom to get a towel. He carefully cleaned you from his cum and put blanket over your naked body. He laid next to you amazed. He had sex so many times but it never happened, no single women lost consciousness because of him. And no other women made him feel so satisfied, so… complete.

He gently touched your face. “You’re more dangerous than I thought, Y/N.”

He brought you to his chest and slowly fell asleep, breathing in your sweet scent...

Terrible headache woke you up in the morning. Sunlight that came through the window made you squeeze your eyes shut. Your throat was extremely sore and when you rolled on your side, sharp pain radiated from your ass. You whined, trying to remember what happened yesterday. Your memories were fogged, some unclear bits that didn't make any sense.

Something moved on your left and you snapped your eyes in this direction.

Then it hit you.

“Oh fuck.” You sat on the bed, blanket fell off of you, revealing your naked body. “Oh shit, shit, shit.” You quickly got up, trying not to wake B/N up, gathered your clothes from the floor and put them on in a hurry. What the fuck, Y/N? What have you done?

It wasn’t suppose to happen. You wanted to get laid but not with him… especially not with him, not after what he did. What were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all? Now being around him, would be even harder. Thought about leaving all this shit crossed your mind, but you didn't have time to think about it. You needed to get out of B/N's house. Fast.

You looked at him before leaving his bedroom. In the sunlight he looked like an angel but his messy hair and slightly opened mouth brought memories of the previous night. He was far from an angel.

You couldn’t stop yourself and before you registered what you were doing, you kissed him delicately. “I hope you won’t remember that, B/N.”

When he woke up, he was ready to brush your hair and inhale your scent. It was hard for him to fully understand that. He just felt the need to do that.

When he turned around to where you were supposed to lie and realized that you’re gone, he sat straight confused. He looked around, there was no trace of you in his room, all your belongings were gone, the side of the bed where you were lying yesterday was cold. He cursed under his breath. What the fuck? Last night you were begging him to fuck you, to use your body however he wanted, and now when you satisfied your needs you were gone? No “thank you”, no “forget about it”, nothing. You just left him naked and alone. It wasn’t going to work with him.

He clenched his jaw and headed into the shower. He needed to think. It wasn’t like he never done something like this, of course he was leaving women’s houses when he was finished with them, it was normal for him. But someone leaving him? It never happened and it made him furious. Did that sex mean nothing to you? You definitely wanted it and you enjoyed it as much as he did. And yet, you left without a word. Was that your plan? Did you want to use him and disappear, so he would feel like every woman he had? Or... maybe you wanted him to feel the same as you felt a few days ago.

He banged his head on the wall, cold water running down his face. His feelings confused him. He didn’t understand your motifs, not to mention your feelings, which he didn’t like. He wanted to know clearly whether you felt something for him or not. He needed to know this. Even though, he was still reluctant to admit it, the thought of you not caring about what happened yesterday upset him.

Because deep down, he cared about it.

B/N entered the company, ignoring people who greeted him. He wasn’t in the mood, he just wanted to ask you if you remember anything from previous night, and if you at least felt good. He opened his office and saw you leaning against his desk and explaining something to Jiho. You were wearing pencil skirt and turtleneck. When you turned to look at him, blush creeped on your cheeks and you lowered your gaze. You definitely remembered.

“B/N, good to finally see you. You know you’re late, right?” Jiho was clearly irritated. B/N sat on his chair and focused his gaze on you. You shifted uncomfortable. “You have meeting in an hour and you didn’t even read what Anna had prepared for you,” he continued. “I asked Y/N to prepare shorter version of the files. Familiarize yourself with them. Y/N will help you.”

“What,” she squeaked. “I think you will do better than me.”

“Oh I know but I have other things to do. I’m counting on you, Y/N,” he said and left the office.

Uncomfortable silence fell over both of you. You took a deep breath and looked up. Your teeth tightened on your lower lip. B/N wanted to grab you and pull your mouth into the kiss, he wanted to be the one to bite your lips.

“So…” he started.

“I’m going to briefly explain to you what your meeting will be about, boss,” you cut him off. He blinked a few times confused. It was the last thing he wanted to do with you right now.

“I think we have something to discus.”

“Yeah and it’s content of your meeting, boss.”

“Y/N.”

“No. As Jiho said, you have a meeting in an hour and you need to be prepared for it. You can’t risk loosing this connection. We can talk about whatever you want after the conference but I think it won’t be necessary.” Your tone made him clenched his fist. So you wanted to forget about yesterday’s night? It really meant nothing to you.

Next half an hour he spent learning useless information just to please you. He was looking at you the whole time, trying to understand what you were thinking. It was difficult for him, it was the best sex he ever had, and he was sure it was the same for you, yet you decided to not talk about this, to forget everything. He refused to let this happen, he wanted to repeat that night again and again.

"Okay, I think that’s all I can tell you. I will escort you to the meeting room and leave these files with you. You will definitely make it work,” you said finally.

He stood up and followed you to the elevator. You didn't talk, you didn't even spare a glance at him, making him more anxious than he already was. When the door closed themselves, he didn't hesitate. Without thinking, he pushed an emergency button. Elevator stopped between floors with a loud scraping sound.

“What the fuck B/N,” you yelled. You tried to push the button again, but he pinned you to the wall with his body.

“We are going to talk about yesterday’s night, whether you like it or not, Y/N,” he groaned into your ear. Your breath stopped in your throat and he noticed it. “Why did you leave without a word?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, really,” he mocked you, shoving his hand under your skirt. You shuddered when his slander fingers touched your core. “I’m sure you perfectly know what I’m talking about. Look how wet you are right now. And I barely touched you. You remember feeling of my cock inside you, right? Come on, Y/N, I know you want me.”

“You know nothing, B/N,” you whispered between moans. His fingers curled inside you, hitting your sensitive spot. You threw your head back. “Oh fuck.” His lips attacked your jaw, kissing it sloppily.

“I don’t think so. I definitely know how to make you feel good, kitten.” He removed his fingers and yanked your panties off of you. He unbuckled his jeans, picked you up and order you to wrap your legs around him. You obeyed and connected your lips together again. He entered you fast with a low groan. You were squeezing him tightly, and he felt like he was in heaven. It was perfect. Why the hell you wanted to forget about it?

Your arms wrapped around his neck and fingers tangled themselves in his hair. Sounds that were leaving your parted lips, brought him so close to his orgasm that he was ashamed of himself. “Come on, kitten, cum for me. I’m sure you want that.”

Your legs squeezed around him, bringing him even closer. You were purring into his ear with content.

“B/N… oh my god,” you moaned right after you came around him, pulling hardly on his hair. Your lewd moans brought him to his release shortly after you. He pushed inside you a few more times and didn’t pull out immediately. He stayed in the same position for a few more minutes, trying to catch his breath. He enjoyed your warmth too much for his liking.

“Don’t even try to ignore what happened yesterday and now, Y/N. I want this to happen regularly. And I know you want that, too,” he said. You nodded slowly, still unable to talk. He put you down, reached for your underwear and helped you put them on. He looked at you, foggy eyes, erratic breath and wrinkled clothes. You definitely looked like you just got fucked. He kissed the top of your head and push the emergency button. Elevator moved again. “Maybe you should cover your face with hair or something cause when someone sees you, they will know what just happened. Besides, I want to be the only one to have the privilege to see you like this.”

He smirked, pleased with the blush that appeared on your cheeks.

After what happened in the elevator, you had no chance to talk with B/N. You waited for him, still too shocked with what happened, but he was at the meeting for so long that Anna finally decided to drag you out of the company. You protested, telling her that you need to talk to him, but she wasn't listening.

That was why the next morning you were running from the parking lot with flushed cheeks, hoping that you would be faster than B/N at the office. You were more than excited to see him again. It was only few hours since you saw him last time but there was something thrilling about approaching meeting. The memories of his hands on your body, his lips on your forehead were as fresh as the morning sun, and they set your expectations for today high.

Every part of your body tingled with anticipation and excitation. No matter how much you wanted to calm yourself down, it was hard. Yes, there was a small voice at the back of your head, trying to convince you that this whole situation is bad and you shouldn't engage yourself into it after all but you were ready to ignore it. For now, at least.

There was still no solid reason for you to stop all of this. All of his words and touches were done unconsciously, he for sure didn't know what he was feeling, and as long as he didn't understand it, it was fine to go along with his... proposition. He seemed too naive to figure it out alone, and you had no intention to help him with that.

“Good morning Anna,” you sang, leaning on her desk. “Is B/N in his office?”

She looked at you with a soft smile. “Hey, no, he's not here yet.” She brought herself closer to you. “I didn't have a chance to ask you earlier. How it went with this guy?”

“What guy?” You squinted your eyes in confusion.

“Come on, the one from the bar.”

“Oh...” You scratched your neck, slightly uncomfortable. Memories of that night flooded your mind, and non of them included the guy she was referring to. You weren't even sure anymore how he looked. “Well, it didn't work out.”

Anna patted your hand placed on her desk. “Was it because of B/N? If yes, then I'm sorry. I told him...”

“Hey, chill,” you interrupted her. “I didn't say I've come back home alone.” You smirked at her.

“So?” You tilted your head in question. “Are you going to tell me more about it,” she asked with curiosity in her eyes.

“About what?” Anna jumped in her chair with a scream, and you turned your head rapidly, meeting B/N's gaze. He was standing so close that you felt his warmth on the side of your body and even hotter breath on your cheek. His eyes scanned your face, and slowly slid down to the low-cut of your dress. His hungry stare lingered there for a few seconds, making you grip the edge of Anna's desk harder, and then he turned to her. “What was so interesting that you didn't even notice me?”

Anna cleared her throat. “I- we...”

“Yes,” he insisted.

You leaned toward him, taking hold of yourself again. “What? Did that hurt your pride,” you asked playfully. He looked at you with squinted eyes and clenched jaw. If you saw him like this a few days ago, you would have said that he wanted to hit you. Now? Maybe he wanted it too but in completely different situation.

“Y/N.” His voice was laced with warning, and you were ready to push him even further. He tilted his head to the side, and then corner of his mouth twitched. He probably sensed what you were doing and it both excited and scared you. Were you really this easy to read? “To my office, now.”

Anna stood up. “Boss, we...”

“It's fine, I can take it,” you said with a shrug, following B/N. The moment she couldn't hear you, you added just for him, “I already did.”

As soon as you stepped into B/N's office and closed the door, he pinned you to them, trapping you between the cold surface and his hot body. His hands squeezed your hips painfully, making you flinch. He smirked, pleased with your reaction.

“Back to being cheeky?” He put his mouth on your neck and sucked harshly on sensitive skin. You bit on your lips, trying to suppress the moan.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” you gasped.

B/N backed away. “Okay then.” He moved to his chair and sat on it with a smirk plastered to his lips. “What is today's schedule?”

You looked at him with wide eyes. Your breath was uneven, and heart pounded furiously in your chest. Ghost of his touch still lingered on your body. You didn't understand what just happened. “I- why did you stop?”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” he mocked you.

With a groan, you approached him, put your hands on the armrests and lowered yourself a bit. “Don't fuck with me.”

“I thought you want me to,” he laughed.

Your jaw dropped in shock, and it wasn't just because of his words. He seemed a bit more... relaxed. Playful. You never saw him joking and that new side of him pulled you even harder to him. When you met him, it didn't cross your mind that he was capable of smiling, not to mention joking. And now he was smiling at you, in a sweet way almost, and it made your heart skip a beat once again. It was dangerous and scary, you knew it, but it was also nice, and you couldn't bring yourself to stop his little game yet.

Without thinking, you traced your fingers from his temple to the jaw. He watched you carefully with half-closed eyes. “Y/N?” You jerked your hand away, frightened by your own actions. You scolded yourself mentally for that moment of weakness. “Are you okay?”

His eyes scanned your face again. His brows were raised in question. He tried to look unmoved, but you knew he was concerned. Somehow, it was easier to read him now, as if he unconsciously decided to open up to you.

“Yeah, why wouldn't I?” You tried to step aside, scared of your emotions, but B/N pulled you closer. You lost your balance and landed on his knees. “Whoa, what?”

B/N moved his head closer to your neck, and placed a kiss on the spot he abused earlier. You hissed in pain. “I'm back to what I was doing.” His tongue slid over your skin, leaving wet trail in the process. He grabbed the hem of your dress, trying to pull it higher.

“Wait, are you serious?”

“You thought that I'm joking,” he asked without looking at you, too focused on leaving kisses all over your neck.

“No- well, maybe... hold on, we can't do it here.” You tried to stand up, but he held you in place, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“We can, and we will. I wanted to fuck you in my office from the first time I've seen you. The image of you bend over my desk haunted me for days, kitten. You're not going to run now.” His hand moved down under your dress, and he dragged one of his fingers on your clothed clit. You shuddered under his touch, leaning your head back on his shoulder. “You can't tell me you don't want it. Your actually wetter than I thought.”

“I've never said I don't want it,” you whined. “I simply don't want anyone to see us.”

His mouth was back at your neck, and he moved your undies to the side, sliding his fingers through your folds painfully slow. Your back arched, and shaky breath left your parted lips.

“Why do you care?”

“Can you shut u-,” loud moan cut you in the middle, when B/N pushed his fingers into you. You grabbed his forearm, not entirely sure for what reason. You wanted him to stop, but at the same time to go faster. He pumped his digits into you, curling them at the most perfect angle. You rolled your hips, earning a low groan from B/N. Just then you realized he was already hard and it hit you that he probably wanted it even before he entered the building.

You weren't sure how and when that happened but in one swift move he brought you to your feet, pushed you over his desk and leaned on your body. His hard dick brushed over your ass, and he hissed again. Your face was laying flat on the cold wood, cooling your feverish body a bit. You glanced around just in time to notice how B/N hastily undid his zipper and pulled out his reddened cock. He lifted his eyes and met your hungry gaze. With a smirk, he started sliding his hand up and down his length.

Although the view was mesmerizing, you wanted to feel him, to touch him, to have him inside you. And preferably, you wanted it as soon as possible. You turned to him, wrapped your fingers around his and tightened his grip. He took a sharp breath, leaning toward you.

“I want you, boss,” you purred in his ear.

His eyes snapped open. He wrapped his other arm around you and pulled you up, sitting you on the desk. He shook your hand off and stood between your legs eagerly. Your eyes didn't leave his, when he pushed your undies aside and slid in you. Your head flew backward, and long moan escaped your lips.

“Eyes on me,” he gritted through clenched teeth. His hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing it. Your breath got stuck in your lungs, and your vision got blurry. B/N groaned loudly. “Fuck, if only you could see yourself now, kitten.”

You gasped for air. You couldn't make any sound, you couldn't move, you were at his mercy, and it brought you even closer to the climax. The fact that he could do whatever he wanted with you made your head spin. With desire, but also with fear.

B/N loosened the grip on your throat and leaned closer. His lips were inches away from yours, when the door behind you flew open.

“B/N, do you rememb-,” Jiho said but cut himself as soon as he noticed the scene in front of his eyes. B/N looked at him angrily, not stopping his movements. You tried to free yourself, but he tightened his fingers on your neck once again, making you whine pathetically. Your whole face burned with embarrassment but you couldn't do anything. The burning feeling in your abdomen was dangerously close to spread through your body and you weakly patted B/N's hand to let him know. You didn't want to come while Jiho was watching.

B/N glanced at you, and without breaking eye-contact with you, he growled, “I'm busy now.”

“I can see.”

“Jiho, get the fuck out of here. Now.” It was hard for him to talk, his voice was strained and his moves became erratic. He was as close as you, and even though, he didn't care about Jiho seeing him in this state, he couldn't let his friend to see you like this.

You didn't hear Jiho's answer but as soon as the door clicked, your whole body trembled in ecstasy. Your vision darkened and you slapped B/N's hand a few times, scared that you could pass out. His arm fell on the desk, and he moaned a little too loud, reaching his high, too. He pressed his forehead on your shoulder, breathing hardly.

You dragged your fingers through his hair and yanked them hardly, lifting his head. “What was that, B/N,” you hissed.

“Hm,” he murmured dreamily.

“Why didn't you stop when Jiho...”

“There was no need.”

“No need?” You pushed him away, flinching at the loss of contact. “You fucking jerk.”

B/N grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you closer. You gasped, shocked. “Watch your mouth, kitten. Jiho is my friend. Besides, he saw me like this already.”

“But he didn't see me,” you mumbled. “Fuck.”

“Hey,” he lowered his gaze, “he saw nothing, only your back. I wouldn't let him enjoy this view.”

You took a deep breath. “It's embarrassing.”

B/N smiled sweetly and placed a kiss on your temple. “It's okay. Don't worry that pretty head of yours.” He dragged his fingers down your spine. “I would love to stay like this longer, but he's probably behind those damn door.”

“Yeah.” You took a step back and glanced at him. You bit your lips, trying to suppress the smile. “Maybe you should dress up first?”

B/N insisted that you should stay during his conversation with Jiho but you refused more times than it was necessary. He walked with you to the door, and before he opened them, he connected his lips with yours in a quick kiss. His hand slowly ran down your waist, smoothing your dress in the process.

“Prepare the documents for today's meeting. I will meet you at the conference room, okay?”

“Sure,” you said, and with rosy cheeks you left his office, averting Jiho's gaze.

B/N looked at his friend, annoyed. Without a word he moved back to his desk and sat on it with folded arms. Jiho followed him, smirk plastered to his mouth. He dropped down onto the chair, and nudged B/N's foot. “What?”

“I thought you wanted to ruin her life.”

“I still want to do it, man, but maybe... in a different way.”

Jiho laughed. “That's kinda funny, you know? You were all about how she's annoying, and she drives you crazy, and now you fuck her on your own desk. What's the difference now, huh?”

B/N stood up and turned to the big window. That was a good question. Something changed, and he still wasn't sure what exactly. “Honestly?”

“And how do you think?”

“I don't know,” he groaned. “It's just... yeah, she annoys me and stuff, but she pulls me to her in a weird way. And,” he brushed fingers through his hair, “fuck man, after I got a taste of her body, I can't forget about it. I dream about her, I want to touch her, wreck her... I just want her around me all the time. And I know what I've said earlier but... I'm not sure if this wasn't what I wanted from the beginning.”

Jiho was silent for some time but when he spoke up again, B/N froze in place. “Everything's cool but what about her past? She lied to us, and we still don't know why. Yes, she didn't do anything suspicious yet, but we can't be sure.”

“I do remember this,” he gritted through clenched teeth.

He felt like idiot because of this whole situation. Even though, he was aware that you were hiding something from him, he hired you. He knew, and yet he still wanted you around all the time. He tried to convince Jiho, and maybe even himself, that it was because he wanted to find out what were your motifs, but the truth was, he was simply interested in you. Even before the job interview, they found missing pieces in the background information you've provided them. There was something odd about it but no matter how hard they tried to look for any clue, they couldn't find anything other than what you've given them. It was almost like someone cleverly hid everything about you for some reason.

What made B/N even more anxious was the fact that he did and said a lot of terrible things to you, and you still stayed. He was sure that you had some hidden agenda in being his assistant, but he couldn't figure out what it could be.

And the fact that you were okay with every fucked up thing he did, scared the hell out of him. What have happened to you before you came to his company that you even were fine with Sheng's behavior?

“You remember, and yet you're falling for her,” Jiho said out of nowhere, interrupting his thoughts.

B/N turned rapidly. “Are you fucking kidding me? Me? Falling for someone?”

“That's how it looks to me, B/N, and it worries me. No matter what you think, I want you to find someone who will put up with your shit and will love you unconditionally, but I'm not sure if she's the best candidate.”

“I don't go in for love and relationships, Jiho. It's the same with her, I'm all in for her body and that's it,” he groaned annoyed, not sure if he himself believed that anymore.

“I hope you mean it.”

Silence fell over both of them and he winced. “What did you come here for in the first place,” he asked, trying to change the topic. In a very long time he didn't feel like this, judged and uncomfortable under someone's gaze, and he definitely didn't miss it. He wanted this feeling to pass as quickly as possible. Of course, he didn't blame Jiho for this, he was just worried about him and B/N appreciated it. But the thought of other people noticing some kind of change in him, irritated the hell out of him.

“Oh, yeah. I wanted to ask you if you remember that you're supposed to meet your family on Saturday.”

B/N groaned again. “No, I didn't but you just fucking reminded me of this.”

“You haven't seen them in a long time, man, you should go.”

“And I was perfectly okay with this,” he sighed, sitting in his chair.

It wasn't like he didn't like them... he hated them. Especially his stepmother and her fucked up son. They've made his life a living hell for so many years. There was no chance he would ever forgive them for what they did to him, for how their words and actions shaped him in to a person he was now. Even mention of them made him clenched his hands into fists.

“Then do it for your father.”

“I will think about it.”

After Jiho left his office, B/N had to force himself to do the same with all the strength he had in him. His head was full of thoughts, confusing him more than anything ever. Out of nowhere everything became complicated. And he was... scared. Scared that, in fact, something had changed. Scared that he couldn't understand why it happened exactly.

As soon as he left the elevator, he saw you and the guy he was having the meeting with, chatting casually. You were smiling and you looked like you enjoyed the conversation. Much to B/N's dissatisfaction. However hard he tried to remember, he never saw you so relaxed and comfortable around him. With him you always seemed careful and maybe even tensed, and the realization of this made him angrier than he already was.

“I must say, miss, that I'm kind of jealous of your boss.”

“And why is that,” you asked, laughing.

“Well, I hope you won't be mad at me for saying this, but I would love to have such a beauty as my assistant. It probably would make my day a lot better.”

You opened your mouth but before any sound left them, B/N put his hand on the small of your back, pressing it hardly into you. You turned your head, trying not to show any sign of pain on your face. B/N looked at you shortly with cold gaze and switched his attention to the man. “Oh it sure does make my day better, Kim.”

“You're pretty lucky. You know,” he said, glancing at you with a playful smile, “if you ever got tired of him, I would definitely find a place for you in my company.”

B/N pulled you closer to him. His jaw was clenched, and eyes deadly serious. He never liked Kim but at that moment he wanted to rip his head off. “Don't make me laugh. Even in your wildest dreams she won't spread her legs for you.”

You gasped shocked, jumping away from him. It seemed like you wanted to say something but eventually you stayed silent. They didn't even pay attention to you anymore.

“Are you sure about it?”

“You bet. Only I can have this pleasure,” B/N said with a smirk.

Kim glanced at you. “I stand by what I said, miss.”

“How about we talk on another day, Kim? If you stay here any longer, I don't know what I will do.”

“Like the old days, huh? Send me an email regarding new date.” He moved past B/N and stopped near you. “Remember what I said,” he winked at you with a smile.

B/N exhaled slowly, hanging his head low. Anger boiled inside him, making his heart speed. Why the fuck all the people around him wanted you for themselves? He finally found something... someone who made his days better and everyone wanted to steal you from him.

He raised his eyes, meeting your angry gaze.

You stormed in to the conference room, pulling confused B/N with you. You pushed him towards the wall, and with rage in your eyes you pointed the finger at the door. “What the fuck did you do just now? Is today a day to embarrass me or are you just stupid?”

“Y/N,” he warned, taking step forward.

“No, shut up.” You massaged your temple, trying to gather your thoughts. You weren't even that mad about what he said, or even what he did earlier in his office. The fact that he was clearly jealous made your blood boiled. It wasn't supposed to be like that. You thought that the chance of him seriously falling for you was small, but with each action he proved you wrong. He was already too deep with his feelings. And that was dangerous. “Why did you do it?”

“What exactly?”

“Don't play dumb, B/N. You were marking your territory as if we were in a relationship. News flesh, we are not, and don't forget that.”

He gritted his teeth. “I know this.”

“So why are you so jealous,” you shouted. “You did the same at the club. I'm not your damn property, we are just fucking, nothing more.” You ran your hand through hair annoyed to the core. You wanted him to get closer to you, to open up but not exactly this way, you didn't want him to fall in love with you. Not when you knew how it all would end. Sooner or later you would disappear from his life and you both would be left hurt if those feelings got any stronger.

“I'm not jealous, Y/N, I just don't like to share.”

You took a better look at him, he was extremely tensed, and his hands were clenched into fists. Even if he wanted to hide it, you saw how they tremble lightly, and you weren't sure if it was because he was this angry or if he was confused and overwhelmed with his own emotions. Either way there was no point in talking to him any longer. You were certain that he would try to calm you down or say something sweet that would melt your stupid heart, and you couldn't let that happen.

You sighed deeply. “Sure. You know what? Let's keep it professional for some time because it looks like too much sex gets you all confused.”

“Are you serious,” he asked, blinking in shock.

“Dead serious, boss,” you said, and hastily left the room, not giving him a chance to change your mind.

Ignoring B/N and focusing only on your work as his assistant wasn't an easy thing to do from the very beginning, and now... it was even harder. You tried to be as professional as possible, only do what was required from you, but B/N constantly reminded you of the uncertain status of your relationship. He was looking at you, and only you, whenever you were around, his hands reached for you even if it was just for the smallest touch, and he couldn't stop talking about how much you and this situation annoyed him. He reminded you at least once an hour how badly he wanted to go back to your deal.

You tried your hardest to resist him. It was both irritating and saddening. As much as you wanted to go back to how your relationship looked before, it wasn't possible. Deep down, even if you didn't want to admit it, you knew that you both were already too deep into each other and there was no really turning back now. You wished that you could stop it from developing even more but you weren't sure if it was still possible.

Dread was looming over you all the time. There was definitely no happy ending to it, you felt it in your bones.

As soon as you entered the office after the weekend, you knew, you just knew, that something would happen. The atmosphere was heavier than usual, even Anna seemed to be more uncomfortable than you've ever seen her. You sat on your chair and glanced at her suspiciously. She ignored you, too focused on the files in front of her.

“Anna,” you spoke up confused.

She glanced at you, surprised. “Oh, Y/N, hey. I didn't see you.”

“Yeah, I know. Something happened?”

“I'm sure it did,” she sighed, leaning in her chair. “You definitely noticed that B/N is acting... strangely for a few days now. Fuck, it's not possible not to notice, you'd have to be blind not to see it. But today... I- I'm kind of worried about him. He came into the company, looking so fucking depressed, he didn't want anything from me, said basically nothing beside cancel my meeting today and locked himself in his office. He seems so down, I've never seen him like this, it's not like him at all.”

You looked at the door to B/N's office sadly.

It wasn't suppose to happen. None of it. You thought that after so much time, you would be out of this place already. You were sure you would leave this whole mess behind you, without regrets and, most importantly, without such strong feelings towards B/N. You had no plan to fall in love with him, and you were definitely on such track. Hatred was the only thing you were supposed to feel. And it should have been the same for him.

“Y/N, can you... you know, talk to him,” Anna asked with hope in her voice.

“I don't think it's a good idea.”

“Just try. You're closer to him than any other person in this company.” You opened your mouth to protest but Anna shushed you. “If not for him, then do it for me. I can't take this anymore.”

You took a deep breath. If only it was as easy as you think.

“Please, Y/N,” she begged.

“Fuck... okay, I can try but I can't guarantee anything,” you said, standing up. With heavy heart and trembling hands you approached his office. You knocked on the door but you didn't hear any answer. Hesitantly, you came inside and frozen instantly. Papers were scattered all around the room and among them, on the floor, B/N was sitting with head hidden in his hands. You came closer to him and knelt. “Hey, B/N, are you okay?”

He raised his head slowly and looked at you with sad eyes. Dark circles on his face were bigger than you've ever saw on him, his clothes were wrinkled and it looked like he didn't shave for, at least, three days. It wasn't like him. He seemed fragile and broken, and that hurt you more than anything. “What are you doing to me, Y/N,” he said weakly.

You sat across him and took a deep breath. “I'm not doing anything to you. It's all in your head.”

“Sure,” he laughed. “I knew you would say something like this. What else could I expect from you, huh?”

“What?”

“Come on, I'm sure you feel the same as me, but for some fucking reason you deny it all the time.”

You rolled your eyes annoyed. “Like you? That means what exactly?”

“I don't know, I can't describe it, but I'm sure that there is something. Something that pulls me closer to you. Something that I can't resist.” He extended his hand, trying to reach you but you moved back. He laughed again. “See?”

Your heart was racing furiously. He was right. He was so damn right, but you couldn't tell him this. You weren't doing this just for your peace of mind but also for him. You didn't want him to suffer later on. Actually, that was the last thing you wanted. “B/N, it's all...”

“In my head, right,” he interrupted you. “Quit the bullshit already. We both know you're trying to convince yourself, not me.”

You stood up abruptly. Your hands were trembling in frustration. “B/N... for fuck's sake, get your shit together. I don't need to convince myself because I know that the only thing between us is sex. Nothing more. You should finally see this too, you're only making yourself look more pathetic.”

“So it's my fault now,” he hissed, getting on his feet, too.

“After all, it was you who proposed this deal.”

“Yeah, right. But you eagerly agreed to it. Oh, and don't forget that you begged me to fuck you that night when we left the club.”

“I was fucking drunk and horny,” you yelled. “It didn't matter. Should I remind you that I was ready to sleep with someone else? No, wait, it won't fit in your narrative, right?”

You could have sworn that you saw like all his strength left his body. He leaned against his desk, turning his head the other way. “Why are you doing this,” he asked quietly. Cold hand of pain squeezed your heart painfully. Seeing him like this was hard, and you were sure that any more minute spent there would end up in your defeat.

“B/N, listen to yourself. Stop overthinking it and just listen to what you're saying,” you sighed, turned around without second glance at him and left his office before tears rolled down your cheeks.

He watched as you were leaving his office and, as much as he wanted to go after you, he stopped himself. His head was spinning with too many thoughts. Was he wrong about your relationship? Did you really feel nothing? That's how it looked like. That was the only logical answer to your coldness during this conversation that he could come up with. You seemed not affected at all by this situation, you were still as beautiful and lively as always.

And he was the opposite. For the past few days he couldn't sleep, eat, and there was no room in his head for caring about his looks. He just didn't care. The only thing that he was constantly thinking about was you, and only you.

There was no point in denying it anymore, he fell for you. He was terrified by that thought but that was the truth. For the first time in his life he finally felt alive, even if that lasted only two days. There was something in you that made him feel things he didn't know he could experience. He always thought that love wasn't for him, after all even his family wasn't capable of loving him. He never experienced it, or simply didn't remember. But that wasn't the point.

The point was that he didn't know that he was able to love anyone.

And now that he miraculously found someone who woke up those feelings in him, he was left alone with all of this. Left in fear and confusion.

You leaned against the door with closed eyes and heavy breath. It was too late to save him from pain now. It was okay for you, you got used to feeling broken and alone but the thought of him feeling the same hurt you more than anything. You really tried to prevent this but B/N was probably in love with you long before he'd proposed that deal. And now there was nothing you could do. You could avoid him, ignore him, tell him every awful thing you could come up with, but there was no use in doing this.

There was only one thing you could do but you didn't have the strength to do it yet. Leaving him, leaving all this mess behind you, was probably the best thing you could do, but you wanted to be selfish for once. You wanted to spend some more time with him, even if that meant just looking at him from afar. Even if that meant that you would need to disappear from, not only his life, but lives of other people around you... Markus, Anna, and especially Kyo.

Just few more days and you would leave. As far as possible.

You wiped the tears from your face and approached Anna. She looked up at you and when she noticed your reddened eyes, she sighed. “It didn't work out?”

“No. I would even say that I made it worse.”

“Oh fuck. What happened to him?”

“I- I don't know.” You glanced at the door to his office with guilt. You knew all to well what happened, after all it was your fault.

Before you had a chance to turn around, the door opened and B/N came out of the room. He looked even worse than just a few minutes before. He seemed smaller... weaker. It was as if all the hope he had in him before your conversation was gone now. Your heart stopped at the sight and the only thing you wanted was to take him in your embrace and tell him that it would be alright. But that would be a lie, and you didn't want to deceive him even more.

He looked at you sadly and passed by you without a word. Anxious, you grabbed his arm, making him turn around. His eyes landed on your hand tightly wrapped around his and you could see on his face how hard it was for him to not react.

“Where are you going,” you asked.

“Home, or bar, I don't know. I can't be here any longer.”

“Boss,” Anna started. “Is everything all right? Are you okay?”

B/N laughed sadly. “Do I look like I'm okay? Shit, I'm far from being okay.”

“Can we talk once more,” you proposed, ready to give in. You couldn't look at him in this state anymore. It was too hard.

“No, we can't. There's nothing to talk about, Y/N.”

You tried to stop him, you really did, but he yanked his arm away and disappeared in the elevator, leaving you with heart shattered into pieces.

You felt like this once, and you prayed to all gods that you would not feel it ever again. It was too similar to what you experienced in your childhood, being left alone with no hope, no positive emotions. The only thing existing in your broken heart was sadness and loneliness. Fuck, maybe what you felt right now was even worse. Back then, there was no guilt in you, but now it filled every part of your body in the most painful way.

You called B/N many times during that day, but he never picked up. At some point he finally turned his phone off, leaving you without any way to track him. You were more than worried. Seeing how badly he was dealing with this, you feared that he would do something stupid. And you couldn't stop thinking about what would happen later... when you leave. If he was so depressed with you still around him, how would he react to the situation where he couldn't see you anymore?

When you finally left the company and got to your apartment, you couldn't deal with your thoughts and emotions any longer. Rain that was falling on you heavily, was mixing with your bitter tears, and making you even colder than you were.

You got on your floor and frozen immediately. Your breath got stuck in your throat and the bag you held in your hand fell on the floor. “B/N?”

He looked at you with slightly reddened eyes and leant against the door more. “Hey.” His voice was hoarse and filled with so much pain that you couldn't bear it.

“What are you doing here?”

He sighed deeply. “You know, I wanted to drink, to get wasted until I lost consciousness but I had no strength to deal with people. I never really had, but... it's harder today. Every time I got caught in my thoughts, I saw your face, I could fucking smell your fragrance. So I came here. I don't even know how it happened,” he laughed. “I was thinking about you and suddenly I was here. That's fucked up, right?”

You came closer to him, and just then you noticed how much he trembled. His clothes were wet, sticking to every part of his body. “You shouldn't be here.”

“Yeah, I know but I couldn't help myself. I can't deal with this anymore. Is it so wrong that I want you close? Is it, Y/N?”

You extended your hand and slowly brushed through his wet hair. He closed his eyes, leaning in your touch. You were weak, maybe weaker than him actually. Of course, there was a part of you that wanted to push him away from you but it was small. Definitely too small, taking into consideration what you were going to do.

“B/N, get up.”

“I don't want to leave. Don't make me, please,” he begged. He grabbed your hand in his and squeezed it harder than necessary.

“I want you to move out of the way, so we can go into my apartment.”

In no time he was on his feet, standing so close to you that you could feel how his chest was raising and falling with each breath. “You really mean it?”

“Yeah, I do. I can't look at you in this state,” you said, opening the door for both of you. You got inside and headed straight to the bathroom to get two towels. When you came back, B/N was standing in your living room, looking strangely at every empty shelve. You threw one of the towels at him. “Here, dry yourself a bit. I'm gonna look for something for you to wear. Even though it's going to be hard.”

You didn't even notice that he followed you to your bedroom. Only when you turned around with pair of too big sweatpants in hands, you saw him. He was standing at the entrance with hope in his eyes, making your insides burnt.

“Why can't you look at me,” he asked.

“What?”

“You said you can't look at me in this state, why?”

You handed him the pants. “Change into this, and we will talk, okay?” He nodded but didn't move. “B/N, really. You will get sick if you stay in those wet clothes. I promise you, we will talk.”

He smiled. “You don't have any shirt for me, do you?”

“Not really, I will give a blanket or some shit, sorry.” You quickly grabbed something for you to change into and headed to the bathroom, leaving B/N in your room.

You weren't sure what you were doing, your only plan was to invite him to your house and let him warm up a bit. The rest was up to the fate, whatever was about to happen... you were ready to take it. You were scared, yes, but there was no return now.

“Are you okay with black tea,” you yelled, taking two cups from the shelf.

“Yeah,” he answered, and you almost dropped the cups, startled by the proximity of B/N's voice. You turned your head and saw him standing by the table with only sweatpants on. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw his beautiful body again. He was still as perfect as you remembered him. Your cheeks started to burn, so you moved back to your previous position, trying to hide it.

“There's... um- there's a blanket on the sofa. And... well, you can stay there, I will join you in a few minutes.” There was something about that situation that made you weirdly embarrassed. You saw B/N naked already, not only without a shirt, he was at your house before, and yet you were feeling more nervous than ever. Was it because now you were aware of the feelings between the two of you?

With cups in trembling hands you came to the livingroom and sat next to B/N on the sofa. He was wrapped tightly in the blanket, and as soon as you put the cups down, he grabbed one and took small sip of the tea. “Thanks.”

It was awkward. The silence that surrounded you, was suffocating you, but you didn't know what to say. You weren't sure were to start that conversation, but on the other hand, you couldn't sit like this any longer. You were more than uncomfortable.

“So,” B/N started finally. “Can you answer my previous question?”

You glanced at him, gnawing on your bottom lip. “I... well, you looked terribly, and you had wet clothes on. You know, I didn't want you to get sick.”

“That's all?”

“And what else did you expect?”

B/N put his cup down and turned in his place so that he was facing you. His knee was touching your thigh, spreading heat all over your skin. “Can we be... honest with each other, Y/N?”

You tightened your fingers around the mug. Honest? I wish I could be honest. “But that's what I felt like. I was just worried you would get sick.”

“So you were worried about me,” he said, smiling softly.

“That's what you wanted to hear?”

“Yeah.”

It was so weird to see him so relaxed and happy. He acted as if he was completely different person now. It was a nice change, you couldn't deny it, but it would probably be better for both of you, if he was still the same cold man from before.

“Do you...,” he mumbled, looking at your hands, “do you really believe in what you said to me at my office? You know, do you think that what I feel is just my imagination?”

You sighed. “I don't know. I- I'm too confused with all of this. For a long time you acted as if you hated me, and suddenly... suddenly, you started to be nicer and stuff. I didn't expect you to be like this, I didn't expect any change. I heard that you have no feelings... no heart even, that you don't care about people, so your behavior now messes with my head.”

“It's not like you're the only one who's confused. I don't really understand my emotions. I've never felt like this. You know, worrying about someone, wanting to be close to them... it's new to me and I'm not sure what does it mean.”

You glanced at him, he was averting your gaze, too focused on his own hands. He did look extremely disoriented and bothered by this whole situation. He was acting like a small child, learning about new emotions, and trying to understand them. You wanted to tell him what it meant but... there was still part of you that was too terrified of what would come after this. It was better that he didn't realize he was in love with you. Maybe he would never figure this out and when you finally leave, he would forget about you.

But you didn't have the strength to end it yet. For now, even if it was just for few more days, you wanted him around... you wanted to feel loved for the first time in your life.

You placed your hand on his neck and leant towards him. His eyes scanned your face in confusion. “I'm not sure about any of this, B/N, but I can't push you away anymore. You were so depressed for the past few days that I couldn't even look at you. I don't want that.”

He locked his eyes with yours for a second, and then he kissed you.

You wrapped your arms around B/N's neck automatically. You missed him, you missed the touch and warmth of his body on you. It was something you definitely craved more than anything else. His hands squeezed your hips lightly, and he pulled you closer, sitting you on his lap. Your bodies were pressed together, and the only thing separating you from his skin was your thin t-shirt. You wanted to get rid of it, to finally feel him properly.

You moved back a bit, breathing heavily. Your hands were shaking when you grabbed your shirt and took it off. Just as quickly you removed your bra and clung to B/N, throwing your hands around his neck again. Feeling of his hot skin on yours was probably one of the best feelings you've ever experienced. It made your whole body tingle in a really wonderful way, and you were sure you would miss it later on.

B/N's hand slid over your back in a gentle way, and his fingers got tangled in your hair. He pulled you closer and kissed your forehead. “You're so damn beautiful.” Your eyes widened at his words and you tried to hide your face in the crook of his neck, too embarrassed and scared, but he kept you in place. “Nuh-uh, I want to see your face, kitten. I really missed this view.”

“You saw me every day,” you mumbled.

“Yeah, but not like this,” he said with a smile and kissed you. His lips weren't as persistent as usually. Hell, he was so gentle that it shocked you to the core. His touch was light as a feather, almost as if he was scared he could have hurt you.

His hands traveled down your waist, landing on your hips. He massaged the skin just above where your sweatpants ended, making you shiver in his arms. His mouth left yours, and he put them on your neck, leaving delicate kisses all over it. He wasn't rushing anything. It seemed like he wanted to savor every second of it, to extend it as much as possible.

It felt amazing, yes, but you were too impatient. You missed him more than you've expected. You rolled your hips against him, gaining a low moan from him. His head dropped down on your shoulder and his breath got uneven. He tried to stop you but he didn't have enough strength to do it. He only squeezed your hips tighter and enjoyed your movements. When the hardness of his dick got more prominent, you couldn't take it any longer. You stood up, confusing B/N.

“What...” he started but shut up when you took your pants off. His eyes darkened and he licked his lips. You came back at your previous spot and rolled your hips again. This time moan left your lips.

You wanted him, you wanted him more than ever. Your hand reached into his pants and wrapped around his length, giving it a few slow strokes and collecting precum from its tip. B/N's head flew back in ecstasy. His moans were the only thing you could hear, and you loved it. You loved every little sound that was leaving his lips. You pulled his dick out of the pants and then slowly licked your fingers, looking directly into B/N's eyes. He hardly swallowed at the sight.

You put your lips on his ear, moving your whole body closer to his. His length brushed over your core and you shuddered. “B/N,” you whispered, dragging your tongue on his earlobe, “can you fuck me already?”

He looked at you. His eyes were filled with hunger and something else, something you couldn't really name. He wrapped his arm around your waist and lifted you a bit. “I'm not gonna fuck you this time, kitten.”

“You...” you began, but he lowered you on his dick, shutting you up. Your head hit his chest and your fingers tighten around his bicep. Your mind went blank automatically, the only thing you could have focus on was the feeling of him inside you. That heavenly feeling of his closeness you missed so much.

But there was something different now. It all felt differently. B/N's thrusts were slow and careful, his hand stroked your hair softly, and his lips were pressed to the side of your head. There was no sign of his previous roughness. This time he was handling your body with affection, care and... love. No one ever touched you like this, no one ever was as gentle as him. It felt new, breathtakingly even, filling your heart with emotions so strong that it almost hurt.

You raised your head and locked your eyes with his. He was looking at you as if you were the prettiest woman on the planet, as if you were the only one he ever wanted. Unable to handle all of this, you kissed him.

B/N pushed the hair out of your face, and traced his fingers on your temple. You looked so peacefully like this, your lips were parted lightly and eyelashes cast a delicate shadow on your cheeks. It was the first time he saw you deep in sleep this close, and he loved it. He didn't mind seeing you like this often. Hell, he wished he could do it every day.

He lowered himself and kissed your forehead carefully. “Stay with me, Y/N.”

[atheistforhumanity]

Jesus as an actual, living, historical figure: is this bound by concrete evidence? Of course, there’s the whole “is he actually the Son of God” thing (which I’m sure you’ll say no). But I’m just wondering if you believe there was any man in the Middle East at all resembling Jesus during his era (and if he was actually crucified, etc).

Reasons to Doubt Jesus Ever Existed

This is a great question and Sunday morning before Christmas is the perfect time to answer it. Yes, any historical figure must be proven by historical evidence. While I do not claim to know for certain, I think it is highly unlikely that Jesus was ever a real historical figure. In this post I’m going to focus on the lack of evidence and why this points to fictional Jesus.

There is a shockingly small amount of evidence. The reason our pool of evidence is so small is that we must be strict about what can be considered evidence. We must only consider independent sources, that have validity, integrity, and are reasonably connected to the events.

So what do we have when we apply all of these rules to the evidence of Jesus? Virtually nothing. The New Testament contains almost everything that can be said to be known about Jesus Christ. You would think that for such a monumental figure there would be a large amount of corroborating evidence, but NT is all we have. Even that obviously leaves gaping holes. We know nothing of Jesus’ life between birth and prophethood, and none of this information is very reliable.

Remember we need authenticity and integrity, the NT does not truly meet these requirements. We know for a fact that there is a large amount of editing, rewriting, and flat out forgery within the NT. Mark is the first Gospel written and every one after that is a retelling of the same story, so as a collective they don’t contribute a large amount of independent information. The Gospels are not eye witness accounts as they are said to be, scholars unanimously agree that they were written toward the end of the 1st century, anywhere from 60 CE to 130 CE. So on top of the fact that the documents have been rewritten, redacted, and altered over and over they are essentially lies in the first place. However, it could be that these were documents that existed and were republished under their pseudonyms later on, or they are referencing documents that have been lost (which is the assumption). The reason they are called the Gospel according to… is because this phrase was meant to name the source where the author got the information, not the author themselves.

Then we have the Epistles, which many were written by Paul. Paul is seen as one of the most reliable sources of information on Jesus, but there’s a real problem with that. Paul’s letters are the earliest Christian writings that exist and yet they were written around the 50s CE, he was not a contemporary of Jesus either. Even worse, Paul states that all he knows of Jesus comes from hallucination (Gal. 1.11-12 & Gal 1.16 & Rom. 16.25-26). Paul is seen as the founder of Christianity by many and by his own account we have no reason to believe that his letters are based on fact.

You may not be aware, but there are literally no surviving documents of the first 60 years of Christianity. We are asked to believe that Nero persecuted Christians around the 30′s or 40′s, but this group was so clandestine that nothing of their actual activity, beliefs, structure, or anything else survived. Christianity literally begins with Paul (on paper). Carrier has an interesting idea about how Paul essentially usurped Christianity from the elders by introducing revelation, but that’s another story. What’s significant about this in the question of Jesus is that we want to get the most direct evidence possible and if anyone were going to write something reliable about Jesus it would be the contemporary Christians who he supposedly inspired, yet literally nothing exists.

That leads into my next point that there are no contemporary writers that talk about Jesus. Furthermore, non-christian writers that came shortly after him and wrote historical accounts of the same time as Jesus’ supposed life never mention him! Here’s a list of historical writers that we would have absolutely expected to mentioned Jesus, but didn’t!

Nicolaus of Damascus (Official court historian of Herod The Great)

Justus of Tiberias (King Agrippa’s personal secretary-Agrippa from Acts 25-26)

Josephus (Historian)

Philo of Alexandria (Jewish Historian and Writer)

Marcus Velleius Paterculus (Wrote a history of Rome up to 29 CE)

Marcus Servilius Nonianus (Wrote a history of 1st century)

Pamphila of Epidaurus (Writer of history in the 1st century)

Aufidius Bassus (Historical writer)

Pliny the Elder (Historical writer)

This is by no means the whole list of writers that should have written about Jesus, but even the fact that these people did not write about him is unbelievable. It’s the same situation as Moses. He supposedly brought destruction down on Egypt and led the exodus of millions of slaves, yet there is not a single word written about him or piece of evidence for those events. I find the lack of writing on Jesus extremely hard to swallow.

What about Josephus? If you’ve followed atheist blogs and channels then you’ve probably heard someone mention the Jewish historian Josephus. His accounts add another layer of doubt about the specific Jesus Christ from scripture being real. Josephus himself was not a contemporary of Jesus either, but he wrote history about that same time period. He is known to be one the most reliable historians of his time because he was detailed, reasoned, and admitted or noted oddities in historical accounts. ( I just want to take a second to say this is a quality that the Gospels absolutely lack. They are not written by historians for sure, because they do not question anything. They are written as narratives that take the supernatural for granted and offer not suspicion or amazement.)

As you’ve probably heard before, Josephus wrote about four savior figures: The Samaritan, Theudas, The Egyptian, and The Impostor. All around the same time period, these men came preaching radical ideology, gained a mass following, and were executed by the state. None of them fit Jesus Christ’s description in detial though. If we take Josephus as reliable then we know radical cults were common. In fact we know from other sources that there were many different Jewish and Pagan cults at this time all competing for followers, and in the past 100 years writings of messiahs and saviors were very popular. People actually often attended meetings of multiple ideologies. It was Christianity that popularized devotion to a single ideology. Even other figures int he Bible have a messiah over tone, such as John, Joshua, Isiah.

This leads me to believe that forging a fictional narrative about a man named Jesus would be extremely easy. I won’t go into the motivations now, because this post is long enough, but suffice to say that Christianity was an attempt at cultural reform and power, like many other movements in history have been. Like many other movements, they used a figure head (a infallible model) to be the source of their movement to give it authority. This point of course ties into the fact that there are many previous god and demigod figures in previous faiths that have extremely similar dying and rising savior stories. I won’t get into that line of argument now, but it’s important to know Jesus was not original and therefore makes his fictional creation very believable.

On what we do have there is very little agreement. Scholars cannot agree on his place of birth, year of birth, year of death, or even who killed him. Was Jesus born around the time of Herod’s death in 4CE or the take over Judea in 6CE? Did he die by Pontius Pilot’s hand around 30CE or under Emperor Claudius in the 40sCE? OR Did he live and die under King Jannaeus around 100BCE? Early Christian Bishop Epiphanius wrote about a sect of “Christians” that followed the old law yet believed in Christ. Yet these Nazorians believed that Jesus lived under Jannaeus a century earlier than typically assumed. They essentially have their own Gospel of another Jesus by a different name, Ben Stada. Their story mirrors Jesus Christ with small differences, but have the important details. It is a far better match than any of Josephus’ savior figures. This story is confirmed in the Babylonian Talmud. Last Christmas I wrote a post specifically on the conflicts in the details of Jesus’ birth. What’s strange about Jesus’ birth is that we often don’t know when a historical figure was born exactly, because he wasn’t famous then. However, in Jesus’ case, he somehow was famous before he was born, yet there is so much disagreement on the simplest of facts. Plus, we apparently lose track of him immediately after he’s born, which is also suspicious. Then he pops around 30 years later and we’re supposed to believe it’s definitely the same person. The fact that the very little information we have about Jesus cannot be agreed upon makes accepting him as historical very difficult.

I don’t think there are any absolutely solid facts about Jesus. There are things that are mostly agreed upon, but they alone don’t constitute proof beyond a reasonable doubt. Acceptance of Jesus’ existence is mostly an assumption based on the prolific influence the figure has had on the world. That, however, does not prove his existence. King Author, Robin Hood, Moses, Socrates, Betty Crocker. These are all famous figures that never existed in history. Socrates is assumed to have been real, but there’s not a shred of proof. We know for a fact that a fictional figure can be created, passed off as historical, and become highly famed and beloved. We also know that people are subject to outrageous beliefs about recent history (i.e. Holocaust denial). So it’s not unreasonable to believe that Paul and those that actually wrote the Gospels could have fallen victim to this historical revisionism, or even consciously took park it in. Remember, Paul said he only knew Jesus through revelation(i.e. dream, hallucination, or lie).

So this sums up the problem of lack of evidence for Jesus, and pushes me to think he was never an actual living person. There are many other reasons to doubt his existence, and maybe I’ll keep writing on them in a series fashion. Maybe I’ll make it a tradition to write about his controversial existence every Christmas. I hope everyone found this interesting. Check out the authors below for more information regarding Jesus and early Christianity.

Thank you all for reading!!

Sources

The Bible

Richard Carrier

Bart Ehrman

Van Voorst

Gern Ludemann

Josephus

Epiphanius

Earl Doherty

Thomas Thompson