dandelionflower

[dandelionflower]

(pa kent giving The Talk voice) see when a bull and a cow love each other very much, that’s how a calf is born [remembers his son came from space] of course if the bull comes from another farm, the cow might not end up taking, but that’s alright [remembers clark might be gay] sometimes bulls also love other bulls [remembers clark is an alien again] but if the bull is from another farm, he might have a calf if he fools around with bulls from here so he should be careful.

[dandelionflower]

If you've got a friend that you know can't remember shit, and you feel like it'd be rude to remind them about something that's coming up beforehand just in case they did remember something they signed up for and now you feel bad for implying that you don't trust their memory, and you know that there's a 90% chance that they won't remember the thing unless you remind them, here's a tip from someone with a Can't Remember Shit Disease:

Instead of simply reminding them about the event, just ask them about a specific detail involved in it instead. If you know that The Thing is on next week's friday, and the last moment you need confirmation whether they're coming or not is this thursday, instead of texting

"Hey you remember we have the thing on next week's friday, right?"

you can text some specific question - regardless of whether the info itself is important to you or not - that clarifies when the event is, like

"Hey are you going to be driving to the thing next week's friday, or is someone giving you a ride? We'll need to plan parking beforehand."

Because in case they did remember the thing, they can just answer you for the question you asked. And if they didn't remember and go "OH SHIT IT'S NEXT WEEK I COMPLETELY FORGOT", you still gave them the reminder they needed just the same.

I don't personally get insulted when people gently remind me that they know that I can't remember shit, and most self-aware memory problem people don't either, but if you're worried that it would feel rude to remind people about things you're worried they might've forgotten, this is a good way to circumvent that.

[dandelionflower]

[dandelionflower]

Twitter didn’t take the divorce well…

[dandelionflower]

The point of fiction is actually to put that guy in a situation™️, and he might try to tell you the point is to then get him out of the situation, WRONG, second situation

[dandelionflower]

Do you think that, ‘cause the fans can’t see the honmoon/don’t know that the girls saw it turn golden, there’s fancams of that moment of the ‘How it’s done’ performance and their fans just think they’re in awe of how much love they’re receiving.

“Omg they’re still surprised by the fan’s cheering for them, our girls are so humble. Huntr/x forever no*1!!!”

[dandelionflower]

I love being friends with prostitutes and transsexuals and artists and drug dealers and perverts and queers

[dandelionflower]

if i ever write something set in the united states im just going to do zero research whatsoever and make stuff up to sound cool it’s equality

[dandelionflower]

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

[dandelionflower]

"I love you but you're doing wrong in a way I cannot condone" and "I hate you but you're being wronged in a way I cannot stomach" are top tier and I need more of them.

[dandelionflower]

stupid thing about me is I don’t cut corners but I also have no work ethic. if I do something it WILL be done right. no telling whether I’ll actually fucking do it tho

[dandelionflower]

i don’t have a five year plan because every two years i realize i need a different life

[dandelionflower]

broooo did you seriously disturb my eternal rest & bring me back to this mortal coil just because my ancient enemy the eternal night has returned? after i sealed it away and everything? which one of you tampered with my binding runes 🙄

[dandelionflower]

this is so cute, laios is such a good brother

[dandelionflower]

[dandelionflower]

[dandelionflower]

this is the funniest scp and yet i've never seen anyone posting about it: