#Isolated from where? From what?
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The other day at work someone looked me in the face and said "I love visiting places this isolated. It's so untouched. You can see how people lived like 50 years ago."
Like !!!!!!!! Believe it or not, this is what this place looks like IN THE PRESENT DAY. If you want to ask how the the charming peasants live, here's one! Right in front of you! Hitting you with my clipboard!
#Isolated from where? From what?#It's LITERALLY right here.#Just because you have some idea of urban settlements being inherently well connected#If you want to say 'wow this place seems like it doesn't have a swimming pool or a university'#Say that! be specific ! It isn't ~~generally far from things~~#Its far from some things and near others. Just like everywhere else.#Me Fein#People loooooooove to romanticise the rural poor and demonize the urban poor
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"WHY ARE YOU REFERRING TO YOUR FEET AS 'DOGS', ISABEAU. STOP IT."
[id in alt]
#isat#in stars and time#poorly drawn isat#isat isabeau#isat odile#luckily my computer didnt crash this time while trying to draw odile.#You Know What This Is About.#i dont actually think the joke is unfunny it just must be really confusing from the standpoint of someone who doesnt know where it came fro#or like anything about the jordans joke in isolation from isat.#i think odile would hate it though. bc no one will give her any context for it.#and isabeau would bring it up repeatedly specifically bc he knows it pisses her off.#and he thinks thats hilarious.#the hot peppers that get snuck into his sandwiches for three weeks straight are worth it For The Bit.#well thats my tangent. good night!
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hot take ??
the only reason people say that "mafuyu and tsukasa have nothing in common" when presented with mafukasa parallels is because they equate mafuyu and tsukasa being similar to "tsukasa has depression" because the fandom equates mafuyu's personality to being depressed and nothing else.
it doesn't help that people (primarily younger people in the fandom) who DO believe in mafukasa parallels end up making the mistake of portraying tsukasa as depressed because as of right now he is not (although it's possible he was in past because of his Very Unclear Middle School Backstory but that's irrelevant)
anyways, mafuyu and tsukasa are narrative foils because their core personalities are built off of the concept of wanting to make the people around them— especially their families— happy.
they both developed personalities at a young age based on someone they looked up to. for tsukasa, it was seiichi amami's performance that inspired him to be a star— a hero that could cheer anyone up. for mafuyu, it was her mother taking care of her that inspired her to be a nurse— and you can see the similarities from there.
for mafuyu, her identity would first come into conflict when her mother expressed her want for mafuyu to be a doctor— suddenly, "everyone's" happiness didn't match what she wanted to do, leaving her in a state of disorder and eventual depression.
for tsukasa, his identity was something he nearly forgot in its entirety at the start of the main story— becoming arrogant and fully absorbed in a hero persona, forgetting the kind person he truly is. furthermore, his current character arc seems to be foreshadowing that what "being a star" to him is going to be called into question— maybe it is something more than just being the main character that saves everyone.
their insecurities are incredibly similar.
in mafuyu's first mixed, mafuyu feels insecure towards ichika because unlike ichika, she feels as if her lyrics have no genuine meaning to be expressed to other people— despite them being her very real feelings. this is brought up again in her second mixed as well.
in tsukasa's third focus event, something similar happens. when watching seiichi's performance, he thinks that his acting is "real" and feels inferior towards him, which is ironic because tsukasa has been method acting this whole time. when tsukasa is acting out rio or bartlett or really anyone at this point in the story, it's not just those characters— it's a reflection of his traumas.
just like mafuyu, tsukasa undermines his passions he's poured his feelings into because someone else's work is more genuine in his eyes.
now, then, foils have many similarities and parallels (and i could honestly list a lot more), but how i define them is that they usually have some kind of major branching difference that MAKES them foils.
for mafuyu and tsukasa it's pretty straightforward.
mafuyu's people pleasing behavior comes from external expectations and pressures— her mother's demands.
tsukasa's people pleasing behavior comes internally, from himself— if he can't meet his own standards, if he can't be the perfect big brother or the perfect star, then he is nothing.
and even then, there's some overlap.
tsukasa's behavior was indirectly encouraged by his mother praising him for being a "good big brother" over the phone instead of asking him if he was okay while home alone.
mafuyu's terrified to be herself around other people because she doesn't want to worry or bother them— she doesn't want to be a burden— and projects her mother's expectations onto them, not realizing that they would prefer the real mafuyu if they knew the truth.
and the concept of mafukasa being foils is most perfectly and blatantly portrayed in these two cards.
mafuyu, the marionette, sitting limp on the floor— puppeteered by her mother's demands and donning a mask to hide her true self.
tsukasa, the jester, standing above everything else— puppeteering silenced plushies— his feelings. he's not being completely honest with himself, and he doesn't even realize it.
mafuyu has cut her strings and ripped her mask in half. she has acknowledged her true feelings and expressed them to her mother, even if she had to run away in the end.
tsukasa has not yet cut his.
#project sekai#colorful stage#prsk#tsukasa tenma#mafuyu asahina#mafukasa#theres also obvious ones im sure you all know. like how theyre the sole sekai creators#or their designs paralleling eachother (color schemes of their eyes and hair)#or how theyre both connected to the moon and bunnies#and how theyre connected by a piano with a moon design thats only shown up in mafuyus 2nd mixed and tsukasas 2nd mixed... where they had#their first mixed events together#or how they both easily overwork theirselves#or how theyre almost always projecting onto other people as if their experiences are the norm#ex: tsukasa with rui in wonder halloween and mafuyu with niigo in main story#I CAN GO ON ABOUT THIS FOR HOURS AS YOU CAN SEE .#EDIT: HERES SOME MORE THAT I DIDNT REMEMBER AT 12 AM LAST NIGHT#theyre both connected to apples! points at tsukasa in fixer 2dmv and points at mafuyu2#literally all of their vocaloids parallel eachother.#wxs and n25 miku have a childlike sense of curiosity#wxs and n25 rin are based off someone that isnt them for the most part (saki and ena)#wxs and n25 len are both anxious and pessimistic (in island panic... wxs len has a conflicting pov from meiko and wants wxs to just stay in#the sekai instead of being stuck out on an island... which is kinda escapist as hell)#wxs and n25 meiluka have conflicts that are very similar. n25 meiluka represents mafuyus inner conflict between isolating herself and#helping everyone because she didnt know what would be better#and wxs meiluka is the conflict between tsukasas ambition and his fatigue#which is why wxs meiko always acts like wxs luka is a burden whenever she falls asleep— tsukasa himself wont rest#not when he thinks it will burden other people#and wxs and n25 kaito are both driving forces in tsukasa and mafuyu accepting their true feelings#(although tsukasa is kinda not where mafuyu is yet i think you get what i mean)#EDIT: 5/22/24 I CANT ADD ANYMORE TAGS FUCK
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there's a lot (a lot) to be said about clothing in utena, but there's always been something so striking to me in these scenes about the contrast between anthy who isn't wearing any at all, and akio who is wearing all of his (even if his shirt is unbuttoned or whatever.) it's similar in a way to the framing of episode 33, where instead of seeing a clothed akio with his naked victim, we just don't see him at all. because he's behind the camera, he's the narrator in a more direct and literal sense than in the rest of the show, in that episode. but crucially he is always the narrator, he is always controlling the framing, and it's no coincidence that in these scenes neither his face or much of his body is visible. the abuser demands vulnerability from his victims but never has to be vulnerable himself. never has to truly show himself, never has to take any blame or accountability.
#and then there's how in those two scenes with anthy where akio is at least visible in frame are the ones where someone (nanami and utena)#witnesses what's happening. while episode 33 is very... isolated. and happens far from where anyone could possibly see it#something something being the audience and being a witness and being complicit#revolutionary girl utena#analysis#akio#anthy#utena#the narrative#m
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Does the flower from your first n2 post have any significance? Why isn't it blooming?
Yes the flower here does have significance!
It’s a memorial flower, the exact species of flower is one I made up, it’s one that has a strange growth period, there’s no real way to tell when it’s going to bloom but it does only bloom at night.
John Dory got the seeds while on one of his searches and gave it to Floyd since at the time Floyd was severely depressed and was spending all day everyday in his room in the bunker. JD had given Floyd a bunch of seeds for a garden but Floyd ended up only planting one which he’s been taking care of since he planted it.
He planted it on Clays birthday so they refer to it as Clay’s flower, but it’s a memorial for all their lost family members, so their parents, grandma, Clay, and Spruce/Bruce
Other than just maintaining it, Floyd also talks to it like the ones they lost can hear him through the flower, he visits it at least once everyday while the other brothers only visit on anniversaries and birthdays. (They also only bring the lights and photos out then as well, to keep the photos safe from damage)
It’s Floyd’s way of grieving :)
#ryss responds#not the only one au#n2 au#trolls#trolls 3#trolls band together#trolls Floyd#I wanted to give them each a different way of grieving their family#JD is obsessively trying to correct his mistake (failing to save clay) by trying to find him and spruce if they’re still out there#branch isolates and builds a bunker to protect himself and what family he has left#and Floyd does gardening#they also refer to the area where the flower is as the garden or Floyd’s garden#even tho there’s only one flower#the area around the flower is also heavily booby trapped#the only people who know how to get to it are the brothers and poppy#this is to stop trolls from accidentally harming it and to stop critters from eating it#its a big flower by troll standards but by others its a small flower#in my head its one of those that are usually in clusters#but this one stands alone#maybe its a metaphor#who knows teehe#but yeah I’ve actually thought about the flower a lot#also the reason poppy knows where to find it and how to get to it is because she helps take care of it when Floyd’s away#she’s also the one who picked the spot#she doesn’t like the traps but any one she took down immediately got replaced so she stopped trying#and just learned the steps to get around them#btw the steps to get around the traps are the old choreo for a brozone song lmao#because I loved that aspect of tbgo where branch sets the paths around traps to songs from his childhood#so he done did it again
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* Kris...Let's go back there tomorrow, alright?
@pscentral event 30: friendship ↳ Kris and Susie: Deltarune Chapters 1 & 2
insp
#deltarune#kris dreemurr#susie#*#userbaz#userlaro#i wanted to do the the whole fun gang but there's not a lot of cutscenes with all of them where they're not just standing#also thought about doing susie and lancer because duh#but OH the two kids who barely know each other and isolate themselves from everyone in their lives to avoid vulnerability#but end up finding escape in the world they created together and UGH#and i didn’t notice until i started watching through the cutscenes#presumably the whole 'kris resisting your control' subplot starts with them ripping out your soul at the end of chapter one#BUT ACTUALLY IT DOESN'T#you know what the first action kris makes by themself even before ripping out your soul#without direction from another character or interaction from the player#IT WAS JUMPING IN FRONT OF SUSIE TO SHIELD HER FROM THE KING#ARE YOU KIDDING ME#THE FIRST THING THEY EVER DID ON THEIR OWN#also the fact that their weapons are LITERALLY EACH OTHER’S COLOR#I'M GONNA ROT
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Anyone else ever thinking about the constant nightmares Dick was having at the beginning of his solo in the nineties(in which he was Robin again and trying to catch a little boy who’s face he could never make out and was always too late) that culminated in the fear gas induced hallucination issue wherein there’s another faceless young boy who eventually introduces himself as Jason
And the dreams were subsequently never brought up again
The closest we got was the hallucination he had in his secret files where he spent the whole time talking to Robin
Because I am. I am thinking about it a lot
#dc#dick grayson#jason todd#the amount that dick blames himself for jason's death while refusing to blame himself for it is astounding.#i think about it so often#because like. he is NOT like 'woe is me if i had only been there this never would've happened' he's not sitting here like#i killed jason. this is my fault.#in fact it's far from it. outwardly everything i've read from the nineties he refuses to think about or talk about jason at ALL#we get these weird isolated moments where the ghost of jason's presence is obviously HERE but even then dick isn't acknowledging it#'there's a boy falling. i never see his face. he's calling out. i never hear what he says.'#'this kid who brings the newspaper is just a kid. i don't know him.'#'i am talking to robin. just robin.'#everywhere you turn dick is surrounded by the idea of jason. he's haunted by him.#but he refuses to see it. he won't let it in#jason is gone and dick can't bring himself to think about it. won't let himself grieve.#lets the guilt he feels about not being around for jason and not knowing about what was going on and not being on the planet#and not letting himself think about the situation or jason at all. lets all of that guilt eat him slowly. lets it fester in his mind#because he can't acknowledge it. but everything he does is because of it
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the coolest kids in forgotten valley!!☆
(…it seems there may have been a stretch of time where rock and lumina were the only kids in forgotten valley…🥲)
poseref
#in the remake hugh and the player’s kid are the same number of years apart#so i can see them having very similar conversations n friendship#surely these two kids will grow up well adjusted and they will have no lasting effects from this kind of isolation. they will be fine#i have been thinking a lot about what their childhoods were like. i want to protect both of them#everyone who has anything to say about them as kids says that both of them were not well behaved children at all#tei says rock was rambunctious and energetic and hard to handle. sebastian says lumina was less than amenable#rock says he was bored to death when he first came here and lumina asks you not to tell romana that she’s lonely#lumina also hated wearing dresses so. she is very mad and ready to bite people maybe#sos awl#bokumono#my art#rock tumbling (sos)#harvest moon#story of seasons#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokujou monogatari#i like to imagine a au where pony and cecilia come to visit their family’s respective farms#so these two can have more friends ;w;#i am always thinking about how they were both severed from their families and taken in by someone else at a young age to live in nowhere#and they are both not exactly enthused about following the path laid out for them#headcanon ⚠️ i wonder if rock’s moving out on his own happened when he was a teenager. he was extremely confident everything would work out#anyway he got fired from every job ever and after many years came crawling back. and he came crawling back blond#at the time of chapter 1 lumina is baffled by the state of the guy she grew up with. why is he using dated slang and wearing disco costume#she is also kind of mad at him for having been gone for so long#hc rock probably had more freedom as a kid than lumina did which probably annoyed her#once again takakura retrieves a small rock from the goddess pond and he’s covered in poison ivy bee stings etc. no remorse#lumina from her window on the hill feels somehow jealous of these misadventures#lumina mentions in her heart event that she doesn’t often visit the beach because her skin burns easily#meanwhile rock was probably playing outside always. if his kid is any indication#idk i like thinking about the history of this extremely small village
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being too weird and unlikable and off putting and always being shunned and turned into an outcast everywhere i go and not having felt the connection and healing friendship has on you for so many years has really done a number on me
#irl mostly. but even online. i cannot connect or find communities or support systems the way most of u can#even if i do have found great connections and one connection in particular im more than grateful for#but i have had so much of my humanness torn off for so long that i am awkward and useless in handling it#but yeah idk :/ im just so profoundly jealous of how everyone can just fit into a slot#even online when ppl talk abt being anxious and stuff they still have ppl to talk to#or ppl irl to hang out with and im like.. wow... i cant even do that :/#it is just so lonely in general. and it has made me confused and incapable of knowing how to be a human#and fully realise and actualize the one connection i do have#if i had gotten to learn and now know how to be a human and a person i would've... been a person#but now i feel so removed and far away from that idek how...#like im at a point where i cant even have simple and shallow conversations online bc im like so useless#maybe only other ppl with avpd and who have been socially rejected and isolated and alienated can fully understand what i mean#it is so scary and weird and i feel such deep envy for how people can just like... talk to eo. irl and online. i dont get it#and like the connection i do have that i mention bc it is so important to me.. that does all of those things#but it is like im so not used to anyone even keep wanting to have a connection with me#that i feel like bambi on ice 💀 for lack of a better metaphor#and inside of me idk how to dare to open up to it bc i've been numb and shut off i just dont know#i dont know. but i want to but idk how.#ahhhhhh wanna scream bc just trying to describe it so i can make sense of it is frustrating!!!!#it also sucks bc other ppl really dont seem to get how fkn weird and scary it is to feel so removed from humanness#and not even be able to do most basic human people things most ppl who are mentally ill or anxious do.. i cant even do that idk#talking and communicating is the main thing like ppl do not understand how fkn hard it is for me to even have a simple convo#and i cant explain it bc theres no way someone who doesnt feel the same and have avpd could get it...#but idk. i just hate all of this and i wish i had a normal functioning brain. i just wanna be like everyone else#even ppl w social anxiety are capable of having friends. and im terrified of losing the only connection i've somehow been lucky to get#in my hands??? im so scared of losing that but idk HOW to be a person and idk!!! idk!!#other ppl dont even think abt these things im so fkn jealous lmao#anyway whatever 😔
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i wish to be your shadow , forever behind you , even if i am not good enough
plus some extra. they are quite literally metal boxes. i wonder how large they are in actually. im assuming human size? i also never realized just how complicated hokma's was.. i think its all the gears
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#hokma#hokma lobcorp#ayin#ayin lobcorp#im always worried about ooc but then a realize. IT DOESNT MATTER!!! i want them to hug#but then i think abt it and i dont know how to draw hugs. does it matter? NO!! you can tell what it is . good enough#anyways tagging w ayin is always weird because its not QUITE him (from my understanding im not even done im on day 47(pain))#its a mix of consciousness between a blank slate who processes and feels things in a similar manner but then memories put onto him that --#-- logically are his but even then theyre seperate entetied in a way even still (angela noted this in one of the days cant remember which)#so its like.... x and a put into one . i thinkk where its going w it is that each are different aspects ended up experiencing and processin#this grief and hopelessness in different ways? and then ending up being assigned a name as a reflection of different aspects born of the --#-- character that was the entirety of 'ayin'. different aspects isolated via extreme measures when they are ALL ayin just... yknow extremes#FROM MY UNDERSTANDING DONT CORRECT ME IM NOT DONE!!! IM NOT DONE!!!! ITLL HAPPEN 98 HRS SO FAR TRUST#((well day 47 when i queued this to be posted .. hopefully ill be past that and with a acceptable death count))#(((I did btw what the fuck hatbthe fuck whayt hfbf ck)))#I FROGOY i#x lobcorp
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Why is Erik taking a shower and is fully prepared to fight naked in that panel 😭
my man turning into a baby is a typical tuesday activity but the second he wanna little naked shower fight NOW its suspicious 🤨
#snap chats#cant a man be a lil hostile and naked in his home ... 'his' home ... w/e ...#this is the part where i reward tag readers CONTEXT TIME#i mean. it's not crazy context but anyway#erik went for a swim and As You Do went to shower off once he was done. cant have chlorine in the hair.... gon damage his beautiful locks..#he was shavin in the shower when he hears someone come in so Naturally he assumes the worst as this is Xavier's School For Gifted Youngster#never a moment of peace not even to shower and shave ..#'whyd he go for a swim' I Dont Know he really just decides on that. maybe it was a complex way to give him a weapon#maybe they just wanted to draw him naked and in a speedo I Dont Know 2x sounds like something id do frankly#the context is pretty much isolated from the story- like it's more of a scene starter and reintroduces tom and sharon into the plot#CONTEXT: tom and sharon are Effectively erik's coworkers at the school who caught one of emma's students- empath- acting a fool on site#empath- as it may be assumed- has the ability to mess with people's emotions and so. how we say.#'had tom and sharon distract each other' for a few hours while he fucked around the mansion and more specifically#fucked with erik's emotions to make him depressed enough to give up the new mutants to emma#Hence the mansion was virtually empty bar danielle and warlock which probably didnt help make erik Less paranoid of sudden noises#hence .... razorblade combat time ... but yeah once he realizes its just tom and sharon he's like Oh Fuck The Hell Happened#and then he gets super pissed once he realizes empath kinda tricked him into giving up his kids 🥰#god i love this issue i really do .. cant wait til next month where i can read what happens next ..#'snap you have the internet' OK AND I LIKE MY PHYSICAL MEDIA. plus i like this arc so far i want a physical of it ...#but yeah thats why eriks naked and prepared to cut someone with a razor. you can learn more in The New Mutants number 39 :]
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Not sure if this theory makes any sense at all but I'm starting to believe that there's no time skip between Wally's phone calls and what we see/hear in the show's Media/Merchandise. If we see the Toyland call being made before the Homewarming episode then it would make sense that Wally's expecting Barnaby to come over soon. As well as the Homewarming sketch from the prior update. (I don't know, still kind of brainstorming this perspective)
that theory Does make sense and i've been considering it! the "timeline" is such a nebulous thing right now because we still... don't really know! there are too many variables and too many Maybes for any solid answer.
maybe the reality that the neighbors live in exists outside of time like you say, and like half of me suspects. there's so much reality fuckery already present, but I'm also... unsure of how much merit this holds given what we know / can infer about how time passes in Home. i'm putting this theory on a low shelf to look at but not prioritize
maybe it really has been 50 years, and Barnaby is either still around / Wally is still in contact with him, or Barnaby... isn't there. who knows, maybe Wally was just verbalizing some Wishful Thinking. i mean, Wally is a bit of an unreliable narrator, isn't he? we can't assume that everything he says is entirely accurate or truthful. and i mean, if it's been 50 years it makes sense that Wally would be pushing for connection / to revive WH. who knows how long he's been trying.
hm... i mean. it could be a mix of that and the Outside Of Time theory. who knows, maybe W is receiving calls from different points in the timeline - Wally may have started out just calling, and has just graduated to invading the WH website / getting pushy with the envelopes and media that's been sent to the WHRP. maybe Wally got tired of waiting for W to respond before W was even born. who's to say!
#i mean. idk the emphasis wally puts on Its So Quiet makes my brain tilt its head#it feels like wally breaking composure before he pastes the Facade back on with '-during homewarming'#that and just the way he phrased 'everyones usually so busy so its just me and home for a long while'#Usually so busy. Usually. why not Always? or Is?#usually.#and then the 'its just me and home for a long while'#the phrasing here has Connotations i think!#homebogging#welcome home speculation#wh speculation#OF COURSE. I HAVE TO DEBUNK MYSELF!#what we hear / see from Wally is - ironically - more genuine than the WHRP's or W's recovered media (save the eddie excerpts)#the WH media shows us the ideal homewarming - where everyone is getting into the spirit and spending time together and the like#but then wally could be telling us what homewarming is Really like - lonely. quiet.#WHICH MAKES SENSE THEMATICALLY! and it mirrors how christmas time is. its marketed as this joyful thing that brings people together#when in reality its lonely and stressful. i know i certainly never feel more lonely than i do at that time of year!#so there's just. layers. right now im simultaneously believing in the time discrepancy And them existing outside of time#im leaning on the first one but you know!#BUT!!! IM CONFIDENT THAT THE HOMEWARMING WALLY WAS CALLING FROM WAS NOT THE ONE WE SAW IN THE UPDATE.#wally spoke with enough familiarity about the time of year to make me think 'hes lived through many of these hasnt he'#it could be that time Has passed for the neighbors and its been many homewarmings.#it could be that it Started as what the commercials/update showed us.#but as time passed maybe it became a time where everyone just... Isolates for one reason or another. so now it's just quiet and lonely#im still rolling it all around in my head! many factors and implications to consider w/ this update!#Take All Of This With A Grain Of Salt As Usual!
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one thing i actually really like about star stable (and wanna embrace more in my own lore building stuff in my brain) is that it doesn't actually matter at all where your character came from, just that they're on jorvik now
#and it's exemplified in other characters too#and like with nova specifically#she left for a number of years#and essentially broke contact with all of her connections on jorvik#even her horses#but for the most part they welcomed her back as if she had never left#i think it's something that can be heartwarming on the surface and also a little bit sinister?#and surreal#it adds to the isolated and bizarre atmosphere on jorvik#where on the surface everything is quite warm and pleasant#but a lot of the juicy stuff in star stable for me comes from exploring like#what it means to not fit into the culture on jorvik#or what happens when someone embraces the isolation that the culture exemplifies with its unique equestrian relationships#like the hermit#or the vala#idk#these r just my thots#star stable online#nova snowfoot#ssoblr
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obx brainrot but i really want them to reveal what happened during kiara's kook year. if we really get a whole show without revealing that... and what's the deal with her and rafe? they've been hinting at something for so long, but never elaborating... honestly. just give me info about kiara's kook year. please. please.
#kiara carrera#obx#outer banks#riara#not really but like kind of?#do i think something happened between them? who knows#my bet would be on maybe a lil something but nothing major#but i wonder if that could have smth to do with her isolating herself from the pogues#ah! the theories!#i've had many neg-riara fic ideas where it just explores what could've gone down during her kook year#but not from like. a positive riara stance#if you catch my drift#anyway#d.tag#f: obx
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thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.
the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)
there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.
#and like obviously it’s BAD in the long run and his isolation IS only making his life worse but… genuinely he’d have been alright#all things considered#it’s super interesting to me how it’s neil who starts the domino effect of todd’s life becoming Less Shit#both by beliving in him and putting faith in him that he’s never seen before and refusing to let him hide away#but it isn’t a savior moment on neil’s part#and i find it so odd when people frame it as one#todd is like… actively irritated at him in that scene 😭#neil is right that todd needs to get out of his shell and put himself out there and Believe in himself#but todd can’t accept it yet because he can’t see what neil sees in him yet and doesn’t believe it exists at all#and it frustrates him because unlike everyone else neil REFUSES to give up on him#and as far as todds concerned it’ll be for nothing#as far as todd’s concerned neil isn’t a savior or a hero in that scene he’s an annoyance#a necessary one in the grand scheme of things but an annoyance all the same#i think people forget that just because todd DOES want to break out of his shell (‘don’t you think you could be?’ / ‘no! i… i don’t know!’ +#‘come on you heard keating don’t you want to *do* something about it?’ / ‘*yes* but…’) doesn’t mean he knows how or believes he actually CAN#todds autonomy can be taken away from him a lot (ironic) and he can be twisted into someone with no opinions or thoughts or whims +#outside of neil but that isn’t really the case#and a part of that blame lands on the movie because todd doesn’t get explored a lot but there’s still evidence of him being his own person#he’s not a yesman and he tells neil when his ideas are stupid (keeping the audition from his father) or he just doesn’t personally agree +#(the entire ‘no’ scene) and he functions perfectly well when neil isn’t around and while they aren’t focuses +#there are short scenes where todds alone or scenes that start eith them apart that make it clear they aren’t attatched to each other +#in the way people can often write them to be (that is in the trenches if the other is missing)#this post and all these tags are my long winded way of saying FUCK the codependent anderperry thing some people subscribe to it makes me#mad#neil’s goal is to help todd grow into himself and become his own person and find his identity more than anything#and todd doesn’t need neil to hold his hand to do literally anything and everything he’s a normal guy with anxiety#come on guys#dps#dead poets society#todd anderson
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this whole thing being abt rage is also really interesting. I feel like it comes up so much in fiction as a motive because it's the one emotion that's unifyingly restless while everything else can be petrifying, and just personally nothing hits like impotent rage for me, esp. with teen characters, esp. with characters whose rage is stoked by Someone Else to further that Someone Else's cause. like you'll have done all that in a bout of passion and when you're done you look around you and nothing has changed. those sentiments don't get quelled by being satisfied. righteousness withdrawal is a horrible thing to intentionally drag someone into, least of all just some kids.
#I think Ive brought my personal experience into this whole thing lol but yeah just.#the ratgrinders read so much like radicalization to me. or you know just. high control group recruitment#and I've seen that one time brennan brought up uhhh conservatism? and where people come from with that#that quote of his thats like. before youre a fascist youre a bully. like extreme sentiments take root on specific soils#and that's like a higher level than what we're talking abt here lmao it's fake fantasy high school role playing#but yeah just like. the simultaneous understanding of the grift working on these kids bc they already think a certain way#and also the other part that is no matter what the way that they think is not. conducive to them being happy#like yeah a nasty person is nasty to be around! but that also means they're often isolated#which makes them even easier prey for people who want to use them#fhjy coming out in The Current Climate makes that connection so apparent too lol like#me hearing abt the rage god: oh so like twitter#for the record of course I Dont Know if this is a read that's intended by the show#but it maps well onto my experience with radicalization/decentralized cult#Ive just. been thinking abt the rat grinders in those terms ever since I made the connection#like. you're accomplished and high level and such. is this sustainable? have you done anything For Yourself#or has everything you've done so far been coerced out of you by someone else's sweettalking#anyways if I can run porter cliffbreaker over with a car I would. and I'd reverse on him too#truly thats the highschool trauma as well as the grown man with niblings talking lmao#nothing gets me more mad than a shitty teacher#not art
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