#Is there some other tag for art expressing a feeling/experience that is a little less negatively loaded?

[chocodile]

👁️Sleep with one eye open👁️

[the-peak-tmnt]

So Leo sees the world through Raphs or his other brothers eyes right? Does it look normal or is it like fuzzier or blurrier? Or maybe the vision isn't blurry but the comprehension of whats happening blurs in and out a little bit?? I bet Leos perspective of everything happening is so disorientating and sad. Anyway here's a drawing I did. I really like your work!

AHHHH THIS IS INCREDIBLE!!!

Holy shit, I love this so much! The colors are amazing, especially with Leo and his shadow against them. And the way he’s boxed in to reflect his captivity…incredible imagery! Raph and Mikey's expressions are just so perfect, too! Just WOW dude! I’m so blown away by your visual interpretation of what Leo is seeing!!!

Thank you so much for the fan art 😭 It’s impossible to express how much it means to me when people are inspired by the story enough to create something. Seriously just so, so, SO rewarding, and it inspires me right back! THANK YOU!

Also, I love this question! I'm absolutely dying to reveal more about how the mental link between the brothers works, and how Leo experiences the world  beyond the place he’s being kept through Raph.

If things go according to plan, we will learn more about this in about 3 to 4 chapters. But I can’t help myself but give a little bit away early since you asked! If you aren’t afraid of some tiny spoilers, I’ll add more below the cut!

SPOILERS (KINDA?)

You totally hit the nail on the head! I literally have the word “disorienting” in my WIP document for a later chapter, because that’s the perfect description of how it feels for Leo at first.

As he continues to develop his skills over time, things become clearer whenever he “tags along” with Raph. He didn’t lie to Raph in Chapter 13 about not being able to hear Raph’s thoughts as clearly as he can when they’re in the dream room together. When Raph is awake and Leo is tagging along, he’s perceiving Raph’s sensory experience more so than his emotional state.

The turtles’ emotional states DO affect the “quality” of the connection, though. It’s implied that Leo’s been experiencing whatever media Raph is watching through the mind link, and that it’s clear enough that Leo can even hear dialogue. That’s because Raph is relaxed and (more or less) content when just hanging out watching YouTube or a movie.

The more unsettled, upset, or distressed Raph is, the less Leo can connect. This is why Leo tells Raph “I couldn’t feel you for a while” in Chapter 6. Raph had a panic attack/dissociative episode after speaking with Splinter, so Leo wasn’t able to connect with him at all. Leo doesn’t understand that’s what happened, though, thinking instead he maybe pushed the limits of their connection too far…

That being said, how everything works could very well change…if Raph ever decides to pick up that book again 😉

PS: I am losing my mind that you included Casey as something Leo saw! Because even though Raph/the reader doesn’t know it yet, Leo is aware that Casey has entered Raph’s life and this is IMPORTANT AHHHHHHH

[caramelstarlight]

CaramelCutie - AUs

Hello! If you saw this then you’ve probably following me, I got recommended to you, or a certain tag!

This is me if I was a Smiling Critter!

Feel free to keep reading or just scroll on by!

INFO: (Things that are ALWAYS in the AU, no matter what.)

•Animal : Canis Lupus / Wolf

•Pendant: Sparkles / Star ✨

•Straight

•She/Her

•Extroverted,Clingy,Artistic, clueless, acts before thinks, gullible, funny, and a mix of most of the critters. (Extroverted like Hoppy, likes the crescent moon like CatNap, passion for art like Crafty, passion for romance or love like Bobby, Smart in some ways like Bubba, likes stars like Kickin and my favorite critter is DogDay!)

•Has made at least one plushy or mini smiling critter of every canonical critter.

•Hangs out with CraftyCorn the most (Best Friends) and DogDay (when not gushing over him.)

Appearance: Crescent moon earring (left ear.), star bracelet on right, white leg warmers with a star pattern on both legs.

•Physical appearance of Ears, Tail and Eyes. (Tail will always have the star and thing at the end, ears will look the same and always has noticeable eyelashes. You don’t need to draw it though!)

•Pink and soft fluffy fur, white paws and stomach, tip of tail is also white and the star on it as well, Doe Eyed.

•Probably gonna try remake it.

•Shortie.

Personality:

“A kind, caring and forgetful person among the critters, always expressing her interest in many topics and cheering up whoever she can! Easy to tease and flustered, but always bounces back up to her feet and keeps everyone smiling and laughing. Often clueless and a bit too kind and gullible while being a people pleaser.”

•HUGEEEE and VERY obvious crush on DogDay, (doesn’t try hiding it at all.) usually getting all flustered and shy around him or blushing when he’s around.

Scent:

•Strawberry / Caramel.

SPACE RIDERS AU - @onyxonline

(I’m so sorry there’s a billion Headcannons. Scroll to the end for a summary.) COLORED VERSION:

•Has a huge and obvious Crush on DogDay (and dreams of him lmao, even made a little plushie of him. (The mini critters / ruined critters, that but with his outfit.) and mimicked / matched a few things with him and the rest. If you put her in as background character, feel free to have that mini DogDay being carried around in my arms! I would love to see me carrying a tiny DogDay or just watching him from afar for some reason-?)

•Can also make mini plushies of other Critters that aren’t canonical and are part of the Space Riders Crew.

•Works as a BackUp for DogDays crew / the Smiling Critters if any of them are too injured to go out, or unhealthy in general.

•When not being a backup, usually helps around within the SpaceCraft by doing maintenance, cleaning, cooking, programming, nursing, gardening, experimenting, and mainly Quality of Life. (I guess you can say I’m HouseWife material-?)

•Occasionally visits each critter (if allowed by the person) to check up on them and sometimes brings gifts or things they wanted (if I remembered.)

•Has keys to Everyone’s Bedroom / Room within the Space Craft. (Skirt pockets, only has keys if allowed to enter that persons room by them.)

•Also takes over others jobs if needed and has the time too. (Feel free to add her doing various tasks around as well! Maybe me holding the Mini DogDay plushie I made of the Space Riders AU while I work. Just giving ideas!)

•Often asks Crafty (her bestie) on how to stop thinking about DogDay when I get the chance too.

•Has keys to almost all the rooms for Maintenance or any other job I do.

•The lines that are on her outfit are Pink, sometimes teased for being a bit shorter then most of the Space Riders. (I feel like most of their heights is around 5,4ft - 6ft. My height for it is 5’0. Noticeable height difference.) White Jacket/Outfit,Boots,Skirt and Leg Warmers. (Leg warmers are a bit less bright of a white to distinguish between Leg Warmers and Skirt.) The belt is black.

•Uses crescent earring as a way to communicate (like an agent.) if needed.

•Often seen all around the space station, doing various tasks or multitasking, when relaxing or on break, just cuddling the Mini DogDay plushie I have. (Actually asked him to model for it, 😭🩵)

•Has a fear of the Dark and Abandonment, with severe Inner Child wounds and can break easily. In this AU it’s strengthen since people have to go in and out, as well as the dark being inescapable because it’s space.

•Contacts the leader of each crew to see if they need help on their mission, if they say yes, immediately goes out and heads on over to help for free.

•Has the power of Stars, such as moonlight, sunlight or stars in general. (Lighting up places, summoning the moon with stars for a bit, sending stars at enemies, idk if that makes sense lmao.)

SUMMARY: Big crush on DogDay with a mini plushie on him, does majority of the jobs here (Maintenance,Cleaning,Gardening, Cooking, experimenting, programming, and nursing.(Housewife material.), helps others and checks in on them, keys to almost all the places in the spacecraft, helps with missions, powers of stars in general.

HighSchool AU by NoirzVault on Twitter / X.

•5ft in height, participates in Art Club with CraftyCorn as the leader. •Also carrying a mini DogDay plush everywhere (Big simp for DogDay here.) in the school.

•Signed up for Student Council as well for Vice President or Treasurer.

•I can’t reveal much since I’m making a map for the people at PlayTime High on YT!

[thecornerofegg]

Sooooo the time has come to move my art over here instead of instgam, so here are some examples of my art (both older and newer, ish sorted(top: older, bottom: newer))

Anyway, hiya I'm Egg (they/ey) and I'm here now. I'm neurodivergent (adhd) and I'm nonbinary (agender, if you know that term). I'm also a furry, otherhearted (cat), and a fox otherlinker, so if you think that others' hobbies and identities are your business or cringe or whatever then you can leave right now. You're not welcome here.

I draw and sometimes I paint and sometimes I draw digitally, but I'm still working on that. I want to make comics for my ocs' stories, and I like color

If you ask me, coloring traditionally is a pain sometimes, watercolors and acrylics are cool, scrapbooking style collages feed my soul, crafting is fantastic and drawing with graphite is occasionally the best thing that exists

I keep my sketchbooks like diaries/scrapbooks and it's really fun

I like yellow, the stars, flowers, spring- & summer rain, winter, fall colors, illustrations and stories, the consept of spiderman, music, hoodies, blankets, tea, orange chocolate, cats and otters

Am here to vibe and have fun putting my thoughts and art somewhere for me and anyone who wants to vibe with me

Yeah :D

｡:.ﾟ˚₊·✧⁺ﾟ°･:*+.

Other accounts:

YouTube - @/thecornerofegg

｡:.ﾟ˚₊·✧⁺ﾟ°･:*+.

(Intro and tags will be updated, cus things change with time)

｡:.ﾟ˚₊·✧⁺ﾟ°･:*+.

Tags used to sort this blog are:

#my art  -  for my art. Also crafts sometimes :D

#blabbering  -  for my thoughts

#not my art - for reblogged art (that is very cool and funky =>)

#live reaction - for my reactions after watching or reading a piece of media, existing examples include Lord of The Flies, Hamlet, the Spiderman Home-trilogy and more

#oc stuff - for my babies (a.k.a. my oc's), can be art, rants, intros, world or story info or anything =>

#wrints - (stands for writing snippets) for writing shenanigans, poems, snippets, verses, possibly eventual song lyrics who knows 👀, script tidbits, concepts or ideas, anything really. Also note that it doesn't have to be fiction, it might be me trying to express feelings & experiences etc. through words

#sketchbooking - for any art I post that was drawn in my sketchbook, cus yeah

#short post - for posts with ca. 4 sentences or less/that don't feel that long to me, because I tend to ramble & sometimes ya just don't wanna read a rant, so I'm sorting them for you <3 (ocationally reblogs, sometimes art, mostly just words)

#alterhumanity - for anything related to that. Be it term coining/definition re-blogs, mask making, memes, div. rambles, related stim-boards, or anything else of the community

[rosekatara]

MASTERPOST (or something)

Hello! Hi! Welcome!

Figured I wanted a masterpost or something too, so here it is

The name is RoseKatara, just Rose for short (feel free to give me other nicknames (platonic))

My pfp is made by my awesome moot @m3l0man14c ! (I added the flags in the bagground)

For now I'm just gonna keep it simple, still figuring things out:

I am autistic, have generalized anxiety and possibly some adhd/add

Age: 26

Birthday: August 13th

LOVE animals😍

Fandoms/stuff I am fan of:

TMNT

Marvel, in generel

X-men

Daredevil

Star Wars: movies, animated series and live action series

V for Vendetta

Batman

Oracle/Birds of prey

ATLA and LoK

A lot more I cannot remember rn LOL

Creativity: I love to paint and draw, have begun experimenting with digital art. (Love listening to music while being creative)

Little creative rant: I used to be a dancer, still fascinated by all the creative aspects of dance and how, like drawing, painting or writing, it's a way to beautifully and intensely express one self.

I usually reblog stuff I'm fan of, cool things from my moots and more or less everything in between😄🙌🏻 I also post about stuff I'm drawing/painting or about the animals "in my life" lol:

I have a tabby-calico cat called Saga and I am currently trying to befriend som geese and swans near where I live, because why not🤷🏼‍♀️🪿🦢😂

(If you're reading all of this then wow and thank you haha😆)

Also wanna try and put up links to some of my stuff or at least the tags I use, but still figuring that out😅😂

Might add more later...

[outofangband]

9: cross-cultural misunderstandings and morwen!

from this world building prompt list! still accepting them

thank you for the ask in case anyone was unaware I love Morwen so so much and I feel sad because I feel I have not written her well lately

here are some headcanons and also a snippet of writing

I have so many thoughts and feelings about the fact that Morwen at such a young age has to learn a new language, culture and geography, all in the afterlife of catastrophic destruction and grief and trauma. Like, it's not just that she's in a new place with new people, it's that her home and people and culture are lost. She was the last generation of Bëorian children to be born in Ladros, who would grow up at least partly within her culture! It kills me! And obviously aspects of Bëorian culture survive! But aspects and isolated customs shouldn't have had to be all that remained.

And this grief encompasses so so much, way too much for any kid (or adult of course) to have to deal with. It lives in so many small differences and changes, all of which mean the same to young Morwen; there is no going back, it is done and gone

Here is an incomplete list of some of the small differences in Hithlum that trouble young Morwen. I hope this is an ok use of the prompt!

Note: we have so little information about either Bëorian or Hadorian Taliska, that I more or less feel justified in inventing some of my own language differences! We know they are two distinct languages , though more related to each other than to the language of the Haladin. I have a few posts about Morwen's thoughts and feelings on learning Hadorian Taliska and more generally in the tag houseless for exiles.

Eating together at a table at a designated time is more common and more important to Hadrian culture. Depending on the status, work, and structure of families, they will try to have at least one sit down meal together per day though some have more. In Ladros, eating together is considered important but the time and place of meals is less so and formal meals are a much rarer event. Morwen highly dislikes having to attend these. The tradition is new, the conversation is confusing, the food unfamiliar, and the people often largely strangers.

Dark/deep red has different cultural meanings in Hithlum. The Bëorians associate it primarily with red madder which is essential in dying ceremonial fabrics and thus it is highly associated with Bëorian leaders and nobility. For the Hadorians it is associated primarily with well, blood. Also red madder is not cultivated in Hithlum, at least not among the humans there. Likewise, the common patterns Morwen grew up with are not often used in Hadorian art and clothing and she wasn't yet at an age where she could replicate it with the accuracy she'd want.

Hadorian culture is very related to their horses and due to the geography of Ladros, very few horses are kept by the Bëorians (some are kept in the highlands by the elves there and by some of the human soldiers but not where Morwen grew up). Many Hadorian expressions and phrases and sayings reference horses and their keeping. Many stories and songs involve them. Many rites of passage involve skill in riding and work with horses. Morwen has almost no experience with horses and knows very little about them, and also, even at this age, has an intense discomfort and dislike of asking for help or aid.

Even the names for flora and fauna that she recognizes are different. Names that had been precious to her, all the names she took pride in knowing. It feels meaningless now.

Greetings, farewells, inquiries, it's not just the words that are different but the customs and expectations around them. Morwen has had difficulty in the social customs she grew up in. Those in an entirely new place and language are even more difficult. Gendered roles and expectations are also somewhat different. Styles of arguments and understandings about when, why and how you challenge someone are different.

Burial practices are different in Hithlum but that hardly matters. Many died on the journey there and most of them cannot be buried and there is no time or energy to mourn them. I think that any of the comfort and familiarity Morwen might found in these tradition and rites prior to this is probably lost. She develops a sense of futility far beyond her years. 

(I won't go too much into this because otherwise I will ramble for paragraphs but when it comes to this I inevitably think about the potential for othering Morwen experiences in Hithlum even as a child and how that connects with the much more blatant and violent shunning and persecution she suffers later; elvenfair/elfsheen becoming witchwife and elf-friend, etc etc)

She braids Rían's hair as her mother braided hers until one day, one of the older women has done Rían’s hair differently. Her cousin seems not to notice, content to play with the new children and uncaring what her braids look like. Morwen does not play with the others, even when she has finished her tasks and chores. A few of them have tried to befriend her and she has spurned all of them. Most do not try again.

She spends her evenings in stubborn silence as her aunt tries to each her the new tongue, refusing to speak the words to practice. It is only after two moons have passed that she accepts that Beleth will not stop. She speaks the words then harshly, quickly, and finally the lessons end. She ignores most further corrections from the older woman and they speak less frequently from then on.

[spacelazarwolf]

“trans men have male privilege!!!!!!!!!!”

let’s take a look.

here’s some examples of male privilege from an article i found:

“you’re not said to be going against your gender’s “natural instinct” or your role in society by not having children.”

trans men are barred from gender affirming care, often on the basis that people think we should be having babies. also there are many groups of people who can get pregnant who deal with the opposite, who are encouraged not to have children or even forcibly sterilized.

“the media, popular sex advice, and normative definitions of sex focus primarily on your pleasure, especially if you’re cisgender.”

i have literally never once seen trans men mentioned in the media in regards to sex advice or positivity, and the fact the author tagged on that “especially if you’re cisgender” shows me they have never in their life spoken to a trans man.

“school sex ed, religious values, and other pervasive sources of sexual norms don’t treat your gender as more dirty, impure, and undesirable for losing your virginity.”

except they do, because most of us grew up assumed to be or forced to be girls, so we heard and internalized all this along with the cis girls, with the added element of “being trans is morally wrong and dirty and disgusting.”

“most pornography is made with your gender in mind (and it creates some pretty damaging ideas about women and other genders).”

there is very, very, very little pornography made with trans men in mind, and the stuff that is is made for chasers.

“you can be open about enjoying sex without people feeling automatically entitled to have sex with you.”

we actually can’t, because of our “lifestyle of degeneracy” and even the most woke cis people wring their hands when it comes to the question of sex with trans men. not to mention the constant harassment we receive from cis people who insist that they’re not transphobic while making it very clear that they think trans men’s bodies are disgusting and they would never in a million years sleep with us.

“you can make changes to your appearance like a haircut or dye without assumptions that you’re doing it for men.”

every change a trans man makes is put under a microscope. we are assumed to be doing it to “pass”, aka..... doing it for men, and other cis people.

“products like viagra exist with the aim of helping cisgender men maintain their sex lives as they get older, and social norms congratulate you for doing so. there is far less support for women to continue being sexual beings as they age.”

i guess you just forgot trans men exist with this one.

“you can be expressive about your sexuality in conversation, art, music, and more, without people accusing you of ‘using your body to get by’.”

nope. our art is suppressed, and when it’s not, it is under an intense amount of scrutiny, with people often saying that the only reason it’s successful is because we’re trans, not because it’s good art. and god forbid the art is about being trans.

“you can participate in kink, BDSM, and other alternative sexual practices without being judged as a “slut” or facing assumptions that you’re not in control of your own sexual choices.”

did we forget about the fact that people call trans people sexual deviants? or that there are people on this website who stalk and sexually harass trans men for their private sex lives?

“you’re less likely to be the target of street harassment. the majority of women have experienced street harassment in their lives, and most of the men who do are queer or gender non-conforming.”

so we’re just admitting that we consider white cishet men to be the owners of manhood? 

“you can turn down a date without worrying about being verbally attacked, physically assaulted, or even killed.”

nope, most of us face the exact same bullshit, but with an added element of transphobia.

“you’re less likely to experience intimate partner violence.”

false again. we experience incredibly high rates of intimate partner violence, again with an added element of transphobia and exacerbated by the fact we are economically disenfranchised, leading to higher likelihoods of financial abuse.

“you’re less likely to be raped, especially if you never go to prison.”

trans men actually have higher rates of rape than any other demographic.

“you’re less likely to be homeless as a result of intimate partner violence. Half of all homeless women and children in the US are fleeing intimate partner violence.”

trans men are more likely to be homeless than cis women, and are more likely to be turned away from domestic violence shelters because of their appearance and gender.

“you can enjoy partying without people blaming your “lifestyle” if you’re sexually assaulted.”

do i really have to explain why saying trans men won’t be blamed for our “lifestyle” is incorrect?

“doctors are more likely to take you seriously when you tell them your symptoms.”

trans men face higher rates of medical neglect and healthcare avoidance because of that medical neglect than cis women because we face both medical misogyny and medical transphobia.

“while medical research often ignores women and other genders, you get the benefits like research focusing on the heart attack symptoms you’re more likely to experience.”

again, just forgetting trans men exist.

“you’re less likely to have your physical illness symptoms attributed to psychological factors. For instance, when men and women with identical symptoms mention stress, doctors are more likely to overlook a woman’s symptoms of heart disease.”

incorrect, we often face the same medical neglect as cis women, with, again, an added element of transphobia. for example, doctors will often completely disregard our actual issues and just blame it on the testosterone if we are on hrt to the point we literally have a specific name for it: trans broken arm syndrome. 

“you can show your nipples in public, and are less likely to be harassed overall for showing some skin – even when women in public are using breasts for breastfeeding, they can be subject to harassment.”

do i really have to explain why trans men, whether they’ve had top surgery or not, can’t safely be shirtless in public?

“you can easily enjoy sports with athletes of your gender, as men’s sports get more airtime and promotion than women’s sports.”

there are very, very few athletes who are trans men, and it’s difficult for trans men to join men’s sports in the first place because cis men will often become violent if the trans man is better at the sport than they are.

“you can use the internet without being harassed.”

HAH.

“your gender is more represented in film, with women making up 12% of protagonists, 29% of major characters, and 30% of speaking characters in the top 100 grossing films.”

i can count on hand the number of trans men i’ve seen on the big screen.

“you don’t have politicians primarily of another gender making laws to control your gender’s bodies.”

again, HAH.

“there are more lawmakers of your gender determining the rules we all have to live by. for instance, women make up not even 20% of congress.”

according to a study done by an associate at harvard, during the year the study was done, there were 36 transgender people running for government positions. only 6 of them were trans men.

“you can have strong political opinions without people calling you a “feminazi” or judging you for being “opinionated.”

trans men get crucified on social media and in real life day in and day out for simply saying we have a right to exist.

“as a parent, you get more professional opportunities – avoiding the “motherhood penalty” that hurts women’s careers if they have children.”

don’t even know where to start with the cisnormativity. anyway trans men can be birth parents and face a shit ton of discrimination for it.

“you have a lower risk of living in poverty. 1 in 7 women and 4 in 10 single-mother families are poor, with the poverty rate for native american, black, and latina women at almost double the rate for white women.”

trans men have a higher risk of poverty than cis women, especially if they are not white or are disabled.

“you can put little time into your appearance without a negative impact on your work life, like having people believe you’re unprofessional or not put together.”

trans men have to agonize over tiny details about our appearance in order to gain a tiny amount of respect from cis people. this includes in the workplace.

“you can spend less on products to maintain your “professional” appearance. women are expected to spend more on clothing, accessories, and beauty products, even when they’re earning less.”

trans men have to spend thousands of dollars on surgeries and hrt, new clothing, makeup, other things to help us pass. if we don’t do that, or don’t want to do that, then we are subject to an immense amount of scrutiny.

“if you’re never promoted, it’s not because of your gender.”

lmao.

“you’re not expected to put in unpaid emotional labor, like maintaining office harmony, in addition to your work duties. people don’t believe that your gender is just more suited to this often unrecognized and uncompensated work.”

trans people are often expected to put in an incredible amount of emotional labor in the workplace, especially if they are out, and even then our workplaces aren’t always safe. it’s why we have higher rates of unemployment than cis people.

“you aren’t raised to believe your gender is inherently more delicate or weak with phrases like “you throw like a girl.”

more cisnormativity.

“as you’re growing up, you have more positive role models of your gender to choose from in media, history books, fiction, and more.”

cisnormativity 2.0. i didn’t even know trans men existed until i was well into adulthood.

“If you’re religious, you can find a place of worship that doesn’t treat your gender as inferior. for instance, feminist christian churches exist, but in many areas, the only options for worship are churches that follow patriarchal traditions.”

not only is this christonormative, but also ignores the fact that most if not all religious spaces are either not welcoming or actively hostile to trans people, including trans men.

also, most of these examples don’t take into account intersectionality but that’s not surprising.

in conclusion:

begging y’all to use a single fucking brain cell.

[omiscurls]

Heyhey! I couldn’t find your rules, so idk if this is allowed or not, and if it isn’t feel free to ignore this, but may I request Childe with a reader who has depression? Thank you

tough

a/n: hi!! sorry for that, the rules are added by now, i chose not to describe depression itself, because it looks different on everyone, and you may not relate to what applies to me, but i'm hoping you'll find this enjoyable instead!!

plot: character helping the reader out of a breakdown, or a bad headspace

contains: tartaglia, kaeya

warnings: bad copying mechanisms, low mental place, nothing too serious mentioned

tartaglia

now, he's a man of action less than words, even though he's good with those, too

and to add to that, he's also a very perceptive person - if some negative vibe lingers on you for too long, he'll notice right away

however, relying on his experience, he opts to give you space to figure it out on your own, first, he wouldn't like to be making a huge deal of something that was just a worse couple of days

it's when you don't show up at your usual dinner spot, that he gets a little tingle in his brain, telling him to not dismiss it this time.

and so, he makes his way over to your place.

"ya there?" you hear on the other side of the door, followed by urgent knocking, sort of breaking you out of a trance, but you can't find it in you to go and answer it. he'll go away, you think, even better. your apartment is messy, you're messy, too, and it's not the right time to be receiving visitors. so you stay quiet.

"you do know i know you're in there, right?" he speaks up again "the blinds would be down if you weren't"

come in, you want to shout, and although no voice leaves your throat, soon the door opens anyway.

"hey, what's up, you weren't on the- oh." he stops in his tracks in the middle of the corridor, and you're already mentally prepared to a snarky remark about your sorroundings, but the only thing he says is a lighthearted "why're you sitting on the floor?"

the first thing he thinks about is to level with you, so he plops himself down right beside you, and you bet it looks funny - you in yesterday's clothes, in a big, probably smelly, mess, and then a harbinger in full military outfit right beside you.

"i-" you try to say, but your throat seems too dry and worn out, so you opt for a whisper "look at his place"

he indeed does, hinting the small note of desperation in your voice.

"what about it?"

"it's a mess!" you sigh, covering your face with your hands, out of both embarrassment, and fatigue. you take a big breath before continuing "so i wanted to clean it up, i even brought all the... all the things, but it's so much stuff to do, and i'm tired, and- and i don't know!" you choose to stop as not to snap right then and there. "i can't even do my shitty chores right like an adult" you mumble, massaging your temples.

"and is sitting on the floor helping?" he simply asks, and for a second, you're almost mad at him for not being more... cooey and fuss over you a bit more. he sounds cold.

"what are you-"

"really, is it helping?" he repeats "because from how i see it, every little thing would seem bigger if you looked at it from this angle. come on" he nudges you before standing up, and offering a hand to lift you up. you, however, shake your head.

"i really can't deal with it today, childe, i'm sorry"

"just stand up" he pleas, and the second you take his hand, he helps you up in less than a second. when you're on his level again, he sneaks both his arms on the sides of your waist, and sort of sways around a little, before speaking again. "what if, what if we do it little by little? look, we'll start over there" he puts his hand on top of yours, and lifts your arm to point to the full sink along with his. "and that'd be it for today! and then tomorrow... actually, let's not make plans. we'll just pick something tomorrow, and do it then. does the sink sound like a lot to do?" he asks.

"do you want me to be honest, or do you want me to say no" you mutter, earning the heartiest and brightest laughter you've heard in days from him.

"always honest. but come on, i'll help." he rolls you out of his embrace, causing you to feel a sudden wave of cold, it was comfortable back there, you think.

however, as he works through the dishes with you, the pile does seem to lessen, and doesn't rule over your kitchen anymore. every time he hands you a plate to dry, he smiles as wide as he can, and it doesn't seem to bother him at all when you don't smile back.

"remember" he starts again, after a while of comfortable silence. he looks ridiculous, doing the kitchen duties in an outfit designed mostly to look presentable and slay enemies in it, but the look on his face is dead set. "the first lesson you've gotta learn before going off to battle something, is that the best defense is always, always to fight back. and if you don't think you can manage that, well, that's why nobody ever battles alone. it's common sense to have someone watching your back. and as for you, not only are you a great warrior yourself, but you've also got the best second-in-command willing to help you out. don't forget that."

kaeya

as for him, he's also perceptive and empathic, but the difference between him and tartaglia is that he does believe people have the right to figure some things out on their own, he's a firm believer in the magic of secrets

that's probably because he himself doesn't like to share too much about his deeply personal feelings

so he'd obviously see some wave of difficult emotions coming your way, but would he immediately start worrying? probably not

the guy doesn't have healthy copying mechanisms himself, don't think he expects those of others

every other night the two of you meet up at the tavern, kaeya always ordering wine, you asking the bartender for whatever was in store today, but it's never anything alcoholic.

and just like nearly always, you're seated at angel's share, him noticing you're not particularly in the mood for talking, and choosing to entertain you with as many stories of the day that went by as he can remember.

the waiter interrupts him, asking if your minds are already made up regarding the drink. now, kaeya always has you picking first, but since he sees you're still analyzing the card (as if you expected to find anything new), he goes first with a drink he knows charles makes really strong.

to his surprise, when it comes to you, you just mumble "i'll have the same he had"

before the waiter has a chance of writing that down, kaeya tells him that actually, you're gonna need a minute or two more, and to erase the order you've both put in.

as he walks away, the calvary captain's eyes pierce through yours.

"that's a pretty nasty drink you wanted there" he starts, feeling he can't let you handle your mess this time, preparing to dig a little deeper into what's on your mind.

you shrug your shoulders.

"hey" he speaks up a little firmer, hand moving to cover yours, and even though they twitch as to retreat from his grip, you let it be. "tell me what's up."

"nothing's <up>" you accentuate. "can't i even have a drink now?"

"obviously you can" he nods "as long as i know you're trying it just for the taste, and not for the strong kick it's gonna offer, cause that's a dangerous path that only leads to nasty places." concern shines through his gaze, and an encouraging smile is wandering somewhere in his expression, however his lips are still pressed into a tight line, the same he forms when he's either fighting or arguing.

you stay silent for a good long while, before sighing.

"maybe i want the kick. good, or bad, maybe i want to feel... something."

the sentence sounds all too familiar, as he shakes his head and takes your hand, leading you towards the exit.

"what're you-"

"you're obviously not in the right state to be in a bar, of all places" he states almost coldly "so i'm getting you somewhere safer."

the two of you leave the bar, and walk out into the cold of mondstadt's street, covered in the darkness of the night. you walk past him, not leveling up to him, just tagging along to whatever he's going.

it comes as a surprise, that you're neither headed for your apartment, nor his, nor the knights' headquarters. he's guiding you in an unknown direction, until you reach a dead end.

he clims up a small building, offering you a hand and shaking off your confused expressions and questions. "you'll see" he says. the two of you walk from roof to roof, and countless times you tell him it's ridiculous, but then, he jumps onto the city's wall, helping you out with two hands this time, sitting you down right next to him on the stone surface of the wall. it's a little wet from the night's humidity, and cold, and probably dirty too, but the moon shines right at you, and from this perspective, you see thousands of lights in houses, taverns and shops, from the bottom up to the cathedral.

going up from that, a calm and peaceful lake paints the landscape blue on the left, and even from up here, you see a sea of lampgrasses shining through the leaves of wolvendom forest. if you squint, lights are still on in dawn winery, and the path to liyue and all the other lands swirls around near diluc's house. there's so much you can see, even if the night limits your vision.

"i like to come here when i need to gain some perspective over what is happening in my life right now" kaeya speaks really softly and quietly, bordering on a whisper. "it's a beautiful view, even someone as insensitive to art as i am can see that, but other than that... it's huge. and even though it is, it's also alive. every single one of those beings whose lights are dying out as they slowly go to sleep one by one, they're alive. they're not a scenery, they're their own, individual worlds. and they all coexist with each other in such a clever manner, don't you think? they have their differences, they might even hate each other, or wish the worst upon the other's name, but from up here? they fit together like puzzles of one, big picture."

"that's a nice way to put it, for sure" you whisper, looking down onto your knees. his finger pushes your chin slightly to make you face him, and he smiles at you gently, thumb brushing against the skin of your cheek.

"you know, we each have our own worlds, built from scratch from such fragile materials. we have our worlds rise, shine, and crumble before our sights. we look over the ruins of them and think, this is the end of the world. there's nothing more, it's all dust now. but from up here, you see how many other worlds there are - everyone has their own. not everything that is happening in your world is true. you see it from first person's perspective, and therefore the view might be disturbed by many different aspects. you might not see the picture, you just see the broken puzzle fragment that can't fit with the rest, and you're ready to throw away the entire picture, without finishing it. but being here, it reminds me... the world doesn't end on the ruins you see. you can always ask someone to help you build them up again, and of course, you can expect it to fall into pieces once more, but this time, you'll keep in mind, there're-" he stopped, pointing to the city's lights. "so many people to help you raise it up to the clouds."

"your metaphor is really complex" you chuckle, but his face stays still.

"it's not the end of the world if your puzzle piece is broken. and the ruins are not unfixable if you feel too tired to build them up all by yourself. if anything, that's a start." his hand travels up to keep the hair from getting on your face, since the wind blows pretty hard on this height. "what do you say we start your puzzle once more, toghether?"

-

your friendly reminder that you can request things [here]

[anna-scribbles]

i was tagged by @ponpasta, a fact which nearly made me go into cardiac arrest bc pon is one of my favorite artists on this site and also the real actual creator of connie maheswaran <333 luh u <3

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

1. steven getting taken off cash register duty  (i’m just gonna include 1 panel from long comics)

I had to include one of my gf/su crossover things (even tho they’re from before I rly knew how to use procreate lol) bc thats the original anna-scribbles brand babey!! this comic is probably my favorite one from that series just bc it still makes me laugh and I love making steven stupid <3

2. prettiest boy in paris

this one isn’t particularly good from like an Artistic Standpoint but I just think i rly captured the essence of adrien with these. like. thats just a little boy. hes pretty and full of love. yeah

3. summer nights 

I like the colors and the vibe of this one a lot!! it feels very peaceful and casual which is something these kids don’t get a lot so I like to give it to them. I drew this before I knew how to color in procreate so I was v proud of the colors back then and i’m less proud now but ik I worked a long time on it so i’m still a little proud

4. just some stevens 

I like these a LOTTTT esp the top middle steven, I think he looks really steven-y. I had a lot of fun playing with different kinds of warm & cool lighting, and experimenting with different not-okay steven facial expressions. also I drew lion which I never do bc lions are hard to draw but I like how it came out. & the way he’s nuzzling steven’s neck turned out exactly how I wanted!!ok im done 

5. at comm

this was my first Big Commission!! I worked on it for many hours and I was very proud of how close to the original adventure time style I was able to get the characters. I showed it to my dad and he said he liked it :)

6. tell me something

this commission I love a whole lot!!! it’s a scene from one of my favorite fics EVER, tell me something (I don’t know) by @chatnoirinette​. idk if u can tell but the real star of this piece is the railing on marinette’s balcony bc that took SO LONG to draw. but i also like the expressions and the lighting and how glowy chat’s eyes are 

7. obvious animatic 

baby’s first animatic!!! ive been wanting to make an animatic since I was like 15  so I finally sat down and did it and I actually love it a lot. I think it’s rly expressive and fun to watch and I enjoyed testing how many sparkles I could put in adrien’s eyes until he ran out of pupil 

8. ladrien christmas 

this is my most recent full piece (for @mlsecretsanta​) so I actually kind of DO know how to color in procreate in this one!! I almost never do backgrounds but I tried one in this and I like how it turned out. also I love how glowy the little light strands are and i’m just a sucker for ladrien in general so all around it makes me happy to look at 

ill probably make a sappy post later abt how much fun being on tumblr has been for me this year but this post is already too long so we’ll save it lol 

I tag @sabertoothwalrus​ @spooksier​ @chatnoirinette​ @marikittynoir​ @ladybuginettes​ @peachcitt​ @tizzymcwizzy​ @rosekasa​ @jattendschaton​

no obligation obviously!! I just love all of your work sm <3

[whatudottu]

Today I have Andromeda 5 brainrot and so I will continue to post about them.

The last drawing I made, I tag rambled about making non-human express as - to us human - recognisable emotions. I’m here to take that and apply that to the whole of the Andromeda five.

Simplest first, we start of with Galapagus. Thanks to Terraspin and Ben’s own personal experience with smiling as a human person, we get to see that Geochelene Aerio have the muscles to smile. I suppose the area which Galapagus lacks in is eye expression (aside from the obvious lack of pupils) for being so large and relatively empty gazed.

He can compensate by tilting his head forward and back, as well as outright retreating as a body language expression.

Now, everyone after this point either has a significantly less flexible face (read: Bivalvan), no mouth at all to express with (P’andor is lucky to have expressive eyes) and simply not having a visible mouth (see: Andreas).

Ra’ad is also one without an expressive mouth, but seeing as he resembles a squid, even if we did see, his mouth is probably a beak and therefore just as inflexible as Bivalvan’s crab face. The bad news for him is that is level of expression is significantly hampered by the folks around him not being Amperi and - therefore - not being able to read him like the open book he is. Luckily, his eyes and body language at least give a broad expression of what he’s feeling.

A floating stress triangle.

Asfdksfkl- but seriously, having a squishy face and 4 separate manipulation limbs really benefits Ra’ad’s emotional expression, so it’s easy to make his eyes widen and squint when drawing him. To another Amperi it may feel like he’s overcompensating but, well- not everyone can read folk’s nervous (hah) system.

Bivalvan being significantly less soft and pliable is a detriment, at least to human-based association of expression. And alongside that disadvantage, he and other Orishan don’t need to move their mouths to talk, so it’s not like he’s going to express having a smile to his voice even when he IS talking in a lilted tone. But- I suppose the benefit here is, he doesn’t need to open his mouth to talk.

Looking at the UAF style for Orishan - as I explained in the tags under my art post - by tucking his beak under the top ‘lip’ of his crustacean mouth Bivalvan can mimic a smiling face. His eyes are fairly expressive, but with even a partially open beak, any effort to smile with his eyes is lost by the human interpreted frown, so Bivalvan had to essentially teach himself how to smile like a human would.

Going to P’andor, with my full on ‘fucked up deer’ redesign, out of the suit he’s got nuclear powered puppy eyes. Bones may not have a lot of squish to them, but with big sockets and a radioactive white light eye, you can do a lot of impossible things with that for expression. Leaving blank sockets, lighting the whole socket with white, and everything in between.

But P’andor isn’t out of the suit 24/7, so a lot of that expression is hidden behind an emotionless furnace. But uncomfortable ‘this-suit-isn’t-accurate-to-my-proportions’ shifting does count towards body language, and being stuck in a place you can’t get out, P’andor can be prone to claustrophobic twitching. Of course, black sockets versus full on white puppy dog eyes can shine and not through the slats of the armour, but if you can’t see his face it’s a little harder to determine where that extra light comes from.

And now - to who I was building up to this entire time - Andreas.

Why?

You can’t tell me he doesn’t purr, that’s why.

Being the only true, p’andor doesn’t count mammalian of the Andromeda 5, dear old Andreas would most likely have the facial structure to at least emote somewhat recognisably, but his face is hidden behind armour - what I believe is natural scales like an Earth armadillo. His eyes are visible enough to demonstrate some emotion, much like how Ra’ad can emote without a mouth.

But what he did in his Andromeda Arc episode ‘Andreas’ Fault’ really cements this idea.

This lad knows, seemingly as a natural biological feature of his species, can almost exactly match sound frequencies and make them back. Talpaedan probably, because of this knowledge, probably intrinsically prefer sound over sight, perhaps even going so far as to insinuate lightwave are just visible soundwaves. And being built to burrow, it makes sense that they would already be at a sight disadvantage, so sounds and most importantly FEELING are more expressive than a smiling face ever could be.

Besides, canonically Andreas trembles whenever he gets anxious, why is purring so out of line. And just like anything Andreas, his purring gets boneshakingly loud and rumbly and ASJDKHFGASKJDFH-!

Who needs a smile to know you’re happy when you become a big old rumbly heated blanket like- it’s great.

Andreas is the best hugger when he’s happy, prove me wrong.

andreas hugs p’andor in his armour and he becomes a maraca

[nim-lock]

Art Career Tips, 2021 Edition

Here’s an edited version of my 2019 answered ask, because... this feels relevant. 

It is a problem of capitalism that folks equate their income as a judgement of their value as people; and let me preface. You are worth so much. You have inherent value in this world. Your income is not a judgement on who you are (plenty of billionaires are actively making the world worse). LARPing self-confidence will go a long way to helping you get paid more for your work, because clients will believe that you know what you are doing, and are a professional. 

& real quick—my own background is that I’ve been living off my art since 2018. I went to art school (Pratt Institute). I work in a publishing/educational materials sphere, and a quarter of my income is my shop. Not all of this information may apply to you, so it is up to you to look through everything with a critical eye, and spot pick what is relevant. 

So there are multiple ways of getting income as an artist; 

Working freelance or full-time on projects

Selling your stuff on a shop

Licensing (charging other companies to use your designs)

This post primarily covers the freelance part; if you’re interested in the other bits there is absolutely info out there on the internet. 

IF you are just starting (skip to next section if not applicable) dream big, draw often (practice helps you get better/more efficient), do your best to take "a bad piece” lightly. You’re gonna RNG this shit. At some point your rate of “good” works will get higher. Watch tutorial videos & read books. A base understanding of “the rules”; anatomy, perspective, composition, color helps you know what the rules are to break them. This adds sophistication to your work. One way you can learn this stuff is by doing “studies”—you’re picking apart things from life, or things other people have done, to see what works, and how it works. 

Trying to turn your interests into a viable career means that you are now a SMALL BUSINESS; it really helps to learn some basic marketing, graphic design, figure out how to write polite customer service emails; etc. You can learn some of this by looking it up, or taking skillshare (not sponsored) classes by qualified folks. Eventually some people may get agents to take care of this for them—however, I do recommend y’all get a basic understanding of what it takes to do it on your own, just so you can know if your agent is doing a good job. 

Making sure your portfolio fits the work you want to get

Here is a beginner portfolio post. 

Research the field you’d like to get into. The amount people work, the time commitment, the process of making the thing, the companies & people who work for them. 

Create work that could fit in to the industry you’re breaking into. For example, if you want to do book cover illustration, you draw a bunch of mockup book covers, that can either be stuff you make up, or redesigns of existing books. If you’re not 100% sure what sort of work is needed for the industry, loop back into the portfolios of artists in a similar line of work as whatever you’re interested in, and analyze the things they have in common. If something looks to be a common project (like a sequence of action images for storyboard artists), then it’s probably something useful for the job. 

CLIENTS HIRE BASED ON HOW WELL THEY THINK YOUR WORK FITS WHAT THEY WANT. If they’re hiring for picture books, they’re gonna want to see picture book art in your portfolio, otherwise they may not want to risk hiring you. Doesn’t have to be 100% the project, but stuff similar enough. If you aren’t hired, it doesn’t mean your work is bad, it just wasn’t the right fit for that specific client. 

If you have many interests, make a different section of your portfolio for each!

Making sure you’re relevant 

Have a social media that’s a little more public-facing, and follow people in the career field you’re interested in. Fellow artists, art directors, editors, social media managers; whoever. Post on your own schedule. 

Interact with their posts every so often, in a non-creepy way. 

If you’ve made any contacts, great! Email these artists, art directors, editors, former professors, etc occasional updates on your work to stay in touch AND make sure that they think about you every so often.

Show up to general art events every once in a while! If you keep showing up to ones in your area (when... not dying from a sneeze is a thing), folks will eventually start to remember you. 

Industry events & conferences can be pricey, so attend/save up for what makes sense for you. Industry meetups are important for networking in person! In addition to meeting people with hiring power, you also connect with your peers in the community. Always bring a portfolio & hand out business cards like candy. 

Active job hunting

Apply to job postings online.

If interested in working with specific people at specific companies, you could send an email “I’d love to work with you, here’s my portfolio/relevant experience”, even if they aren’t actively looking for new hires. Be concise, and include a link to your work AND attached images so the person reading the email can get a quick preview before clicking for more. 

Twitter job postings can be pretty underpaid! Get a copy of the Graphic Artists’ Guild Handbook Pricing & Ethical Guidelines to know your rate. I once had a twitter post job listing email me back saying that other illustrators were charging less, and I quote, “primarily because they’re less experienced and looking for their first commission”. This was not okay! For reference, this was a 64-illustration book. The industry rate of a children’s book (~36 pages) is $10k+, and this company’s budget was apparently $1k. For all of it. 

Congrats you got a job! Now what?

Ask for like, 10% more than they initially offer and see if they say yes. If they do, great! If not, and the price is still OK, great! Often company budgets are slightly higher than they first tell you, and if you get this extra secret money, all the better for you. 

Make sure you sign a contract and the terms aren’t terrible (re: GO GET THE  Graphic Artists’ Guild Handbook Pricing & Ethical Guidelines) 

Be pleasant and easy to work with (Think ‘do no harm but take no shit’)

Communicate with them as much as needed! If something’s going to be late, tell them as soon as you know so they aren’t left wondering or worse, reaching out to ask what’s up. 

And if all goes well, they’ll contact you about more jobs down the line, or refer you to other folks who may need an artist, etc. 

Quick note about online shops/licensing and why they’re so good

It’s work that you do once, that you continuously make money off of. Different products do well in different situations (conventions vs. online, and then further, based on how you market/the specific groups you are marketing to), so products that may not do well initially may get a surge later on. 

Start with things that have low minimum order quantity and are relatively cheap to produce, like prints and stickers. 

If you are not breaking even, go back to some of the earlier portions of this and think about how you could tweak things as a small business. Ease of access is also very important with this; for example, if you only take orders through direct messages, that immediately shuts off all customers who don’t like talking to strangers. 

Quick resource that you could look through; it’s the spreadsheet of project organizing that I made a while back 

Licensing is when people pay you for the right to use your work on stuff they need to make, like textbooks or greeting cards. This is generally work you’ve already made that they are paying the right to use for a specified time or limited run of products. This is great because you’ve already done the work. I am not the expert on this. Go find someone else’s info.

“I am not physically capable of working much”/ “I need to pay the bills”

Guess who got a hand injury Sept 2020 that messed me up that entire month! I had a couple jobs going at the time that I was terrified of losing, but they were quite understanding when I told them I needed to heal. So:  Express your needs as early as you know you need them. Also do lots of stretches and rest your hands whenever you feel anything off; this will save your health later. Like, the potential of a couple months of no income was preferable over losing use of my hands for the rest of my life.

This continues to apply if you have any other life situation. Ask for extra time. Ask for clarification. If you tell people ahead of time, folks are often quite understanding. Know how much you are capable of working and do your best not to overdo it. (I am.. bad at this)

Do what MAKES SENSE for your situation. If doing art currently earns you less money than organizing spreadsheets, then do that for now, and whenever you have the energy, break down some of the tips above into actionable tiny chunks, and slowly work at em. 

The original ask I got in 2019 mentioned ‘knowing you’re not good enough yet’. Most artists experience imposter syndrome & self-doubt—the important thing is to do your best, and if anything, attempt to channel the confidence of a mediocre white man. If he can apply to this job/charge hella money for Not Much, then so can you! 

Check out this Art Director tumblr for more advice!

Danichuatico’s Literary Agent guide

Kikidoodle’s Shop Shipping Tutorial

Best of luck!

–

Once again disclaimer this post is just the ramblings of a man procrastinating on other things that need to be done. I’ve Long Posted my own post so that it turns into mush in my brain if I try to read it, but I wrote this so I should know this content. If you got down here, congrats. Here’s a shrimp drawing.

Yee Ha. 

My reference post tag My tip jar

[hillbillyoracle]

September Self Care Challenge

The last few months have been hell for me y'all and there's absolutely no sign of it letting up. The astrology for this year is pretty clear that it's only looking to get more intense between now and part way through next year so I'm trying to focus on ways I can better ride this wave out. I realized other people might appreciate these challenges that I've created for myself so I decided to share them with all of you. Please take what is useful and leave the rest. Try as much of it as you can or as you want. I will say it would probably help to use a journal throughout this process or a planner. Whichever works for you!

The Routines

Given the astro weather and what's going on in the world generally, now is a really good time to reexamine routines and solidify the helpful parts. I've been doing a lot of this lately and it's been really impactful.

So one part of this challenge involves creating both a morning and evening routine that has at least one of item of maintenance self care, kindness self care, and reflection self care. Expression self care too if you can manage it.

So for instance maybe your AM routine would be:

Brush teeth + get dressed (maintenance)

Morning pages, TMS journaling, or a tarot challenge (reflection)

Make a nice cup of tea and read or listen to something (kindness)

And maybe your PM routine would be:

Brush teeth + wash face (maintenance)

Write about what happened that day (reflection)

Put on a diffuser and read of listen to something (kindness)

Try to stick to it more days than you don't and that's already a win.

I also like to anchor my routines around 123 and 321. In the morning, I like to write down 

1 way I can give back to someone 

2 things I want to get done

3 things I'm thankful for. 

In the evening, I like to write down 

3 things I accomplished

2 ways to improve

1 thing I'm proud of or thankful for

These could count as reflection if need be. I just find them really handy for starting off and finishing a day on a good note.

The Content

I've been feeling bombarded by content that stresses me out lately. I can tell it's been taking a toll on my health. As a disabled person, I've had watch so many people, including family, suddenly decide COVID wasn't worth worrying about while I remain in the same lockdown as ever because I haven't stopped being high risk. It can be really overwhelming seeing how little folks care.

But I was recently introduced to the idea that instead of trying to scroll through the news less, it was more productive to focus on what I want to do more of instead. So I've cut back to reading a news roundup around midday and then focusing on completing the following challenge.

Read 5 new books

Watch 5 new films or documentaries

Listen to 5 new podcasts

Listen to 5 new albums

Create 5 new works

When I say new, I mean new to you.  I've found that novelty helps keep my mind from wondering which is helpful in these times.

What work is is ultimately up to you. For me it will be mostly writing and embroidery this month. Maybe some knitting or crocheting. For you it could be creating a new art piece, learning a new song, taking and editing 5 new photos - whatever would really engage you in a meaningful way.

The Prompts

These are designed so that you can pull cards for these, journal through them, or both. So please do however many of these are actually helpful to you and then don't sweat the rest. I wanted to include a tarot challenge as a way to help take care of one of the reflection categories for the routines and prompts deeper thinking on the theme.

1 T - What's been getting in your way lately? How can you get it out of your way or adapt to it?

2 W - What spell work would improve your life? What do you need to perform it?

3 T - What have you been wanting to learn more about? Where could you start?

4 F - What's would make you feel more confident in your body? How could you do that?

5 S - What's your biggest limitation you're facing? What can you learn from it?

6 S - What talent could you share with others more? Where could you start?

7 M - What's been bothering you around the house lately? What would lessen it?

8 T - What way to move your body would bring joy? What do you need to start?

9 W - What friend or community have you not reached out to in a while? How can you?

10 T - What spiritual practice brings you peace? What would you need to do it more?

11 F - What small change would feel luxurious? How can you implement it in your life?

12 S - What structures do you need to set up? How would they benefit you?

13 S - What way could you brag on yourself a little? Who would be proud to hear about it?

14 M - What food would make you feel more cozy? What do you need to be able to make it?

15 T - What is the biggest drain on your energy? How can you lessen or get rid of it?

16 W - What really needs said? Who needs to hear it?

17 T - What could you give someone to cheer them up? Who should you give it to?

18 F - How could you spend more time with beauty? Where should you look?

19 S - What should you cut back on? How would it benefit you?

20 S - What would make you more sovereign? How can you implement it?

21 M - What intuition have you not been listening to? What does it say?

22 T - What's a better way to deal with anger? Where can you learn more?

23 W - What charm could use refreshed or recast? What needs to be different?

24 T - What opportunity is presenting itself? How can you take it?

25 F - What could you revel in more? How can you make it happen?

26 S - What needs to be gotten rid of? Where's the place to dispose of it?

27 S - What's the dark side of your ego? How can you manage it better?

28 M - What would make your home more calming? How can you bring that in?

29 T - How are you when you're aggressive? What's a better way to get what you want?

30 W - What connection needs extra energy? How can you add to it?

Conclusion

I hope this helps folks. I know it's been helping me since I started doing it and I thought it would be nice to make it more of a community wide thing. So do that parts that speak to you and leave the parts you don't. But please tag me in your reflections, use hashtag #SeptemberSelfCareChallenge, and share your experiences. We're all going through some rough shit these days. Let's take care of ourselves at least a little each day.

[pizadowa]

generally a lil nervous to ask, buuut, since I’ve seen a few people chat about how Ivy/the sibs would take care of Carmen when she gets sick, but how would Carmen take care of Ivy if she got sick? I curious to see your take on this 👀 (Carmivy intended?)

oh anon don’t be nervous or shy, this is a very benign ask and I like to think I'm not intimidating 😢..😭

but anywhoooo ... I actually have thought about this before, so I felt like whipping up a quick Ivy POV ficlet rather than strictly talk about Carmen ... :)

-- --

Unlike Zack’s sensitive chemical makeup, Ivy's immune system is built like a supercharged ox, and when it comes to sickness she has vastly more experience being other people’s—namely Zack’s—begrudging caretaker than catching anything herself. 

In the nearly three years she’s traveled the world with Team Red, she can count on less than one hand the times she’s fallen ill, and each instance hardly interfered with their capers, not to mention her self-prescribed medicine of “toughing-it-out” has gotten her through even the roughest days. She's not exactly a fan of admitting defeat to a cold, nor being so useless that someone would need to take care of her, especially when that someone is almost always Zack. His questionable understanding of the human body means he's less adept at relieving any real symptoms and more so at keeping her company enough to distract her frazzled, sickly mind. It's not ideal, but it’s the only thing she knows, and it’s better than getting Carmen involved; Ivy would rather their getaway driver catch her sickness than their very important team leader.

So when she wakes up one day in their new HQ to immobilizing muscle pain, a presumably contagious case of the sniffles, and a very concerned Carmen seated at her bedside instead of Zack, she’s more than a little bit freaking out.

“Wh… Carm?” Ivy submerges part of her face under the covers, fearful of spreading her mystery contagion despite their distance. For extra good measure she directs her head away to her night table, taking note of a glass of water and tissues that definitely weren’t there before. “How long have you…?”

Carmen brings one leg onto the bed and curls her palms around it as she speaks, ��Not too long. I was actually just wrapping up some sets when Zack ran in screaming like a banshee about you. It’s amazing that didn’t wake you up.”

Ivy’s vision focuses out of its watery haze enough to comprehend Carmen’s tight athletic wear and exposed skin that’s somehow less sweaty than her own. A cold-hot chill sends her into shivers. 

“I’m pretty sure that was the demon in my fever dream." She cringes at the sound of her own nasally voice wreaking havoc on her aching head. "Where is he, anyway?”

“I sent him out to the store and had Shadowsan tag along to make sure he doesn’t go overboard with the anecdotal home remedies.”

The imagery has Ivy falling into laughter that quickly becomes a strained coughing fit beneath her thick blanket. Carmen noticeably teeters away, which only adds to the discomfort in her chest.

“Ugh, sorry for the gross sound effects.”

“Don’t be. I had a feeling you wouldn’t be doing too hot in the morning. You were hardly eating and going to bed earlier than Shadowsan.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yeah. So, all-in-all, I was expecting this.”

“Double ugh.” She buries herself within the bed until the only thing she can see is threaded darkness. The weight by her legs shifts closer, and then there’s a gentle hand on her blanketed bicep. It’s warm even through the fabric.

“Hey, don’t sweat it. Actually, I guess do sweat it if you have a fever. Do you have a fever?”

Ivy’s about to answer when the blanket peels back and the hand that was on her arm presses firmly to her forehead. She blinks past the slender forearm in her view and over to Carmen’s determined face leaning closer with each passing second. For a moment their intense eyes cross paths, lock on to each other before softening completely, and Ivy is overcome with an urge to hold on. To what, she doesn’t know, but one of her hands takes the initiative and reaches up to Carmen’s wrist—which pulls away just as her fingernails make contact with smooth skin.

“You feel warm, but it’s hard to say,” Carmen contemplates aloud and returns to her previous spot on the bed. “We’ll need that thermometer once Zack and Shadowsan are back, but in the meantime, I’m here. Whatever you need.”

Ivy struggles to push a scratchy lump down her throat as she shoves her hand back under the covers. 

She's not used to this. Unless it’s Zack—who’s almost too obliging for his own good—she avoids asking for help as much as possible. She prefers to handle most things perfectly well on her own, and she’s since learned her hard lesson of what happens when you owe a debt to others. The very thought of burdening Carmen with something as dumb as a little cold sets her nerves even more haywire. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” she grumbles weakly.

Carmen shoots her a look like she's just said a profane insult. "I shouldn't?"

"Yeah, I'm all sick and stuff. Wouldn't you prefer to be...not...sick and stuff?"

"Checking your temperature is nothing. And besides, you were probably contagious days ago. If I got it, I got it.” Ivy’s face contorts into a sarcastic pout, but Carmen preemptively interrupts her griping with a raised hand. “I’m just saying it takes a bit more than that to knock me down, and if I’m fine now, I might as well help out. Seriously, I think I get sick even less than you do."

Ivy pauses to consider it, only able to recall taking care of a Carmen who has been downed by injuries and overexertion, not acute illnesses. Not even a little upset stomach from too much delicious food like she and Zack—though mostly Zack—are wont to do.

"Still, I don't wanna risk it." Ivy shuffles on her back to the farther side of the bed. "I appreciate your concern, Carm, I really do, but I'll be fine. Just send Zack in here once he's back."

"Oh." Carmen frowns at her in a way Ivy’s never received before, and for an intense split second she feels a strange pang of guilt. "Sure, but...this is the same Zack who thought the best remedy for altitude sickness was sticking a fan at the front of the tent to magically blow in more oxygen?"

"Uh—" 

"And who once drank a phony herbal miracle cure from downtown that made even his worst food poisoning look like a work of art?"

"Ew-uh, gross!" Ivy scrunches up her entire face, only relaxing it once she sees lightning behind her eyelids. "Okay, okay, I get it. You really don't want Zack taking care of me."

"It's not just that."

With great effort Ivy sits up out of her cocoon for the first time that morning. "What'd'ya mean?"

Carmen twists her torso completely toward Ivy. "You guys are always looking out for me when I'm down for the count. And you, you've been the only one taking care of Zack for how long?" 

Ivy offers a small chuckle of understanding. “Too long.”

"Exactly. So the least I could do is return the favor and pamper you for once. I may not be a doctor but I do cook a mean sopa de mondongo, and that's always helped me when I was sick on the isle."

"I don't even know what that is and I feel better already."

"Wait ‘til you actually try it. Funny enough we actually have all the ingredients, but not the basics for treating a nasty cold, go figure."

"Food is the priority around here."

Carmen snatches a glass of water from Ivy's night table and extends it over the bed to her. "Finish this, I'll go get started on the soup. The guys should be back soon with some medicine. Think you can hold out just a bit longer?"

Ivy takes the glass in her hands and peers down at its fullness with a warmth in her chest that crawls up her neck. “Yeah, yeah I think I can do that.”

"Good."

“Oh, and...I’m really happy it’s you here right now. Like, really really happy.” Ivy pauses. “Don’t tell Zack I said that.”

She peers up from her watery reflection to see Carmen beaming at her in silent affirmation, and she does her best to offer the same expression. She takes a few slow sips of her lukewarm drink, fully expecting Carmen to have left by now, but instead the other girl shifts closer on the bed. Closer into Ivy’s space.

"You know,” Carmen starts, her voice husked low despite not needing to, and Ivy can feel her heart beating across every inch of her body, “I'm told I give amazing massages, in case those muscle aches become too much trouble for you.”

She trails her hand along Ivy's covered thigh before lightly squeezing down her ankle, and the peculiar sensations have Ivy frozen with nothing else to do but gawk at her. She offers an unreadable smirk with lidded eyes that cast her mind further into delirium, and walks out of the room without another word.

When she’s fully registered that she’s alone again, Ivy wolfs down the rest of her water, barely managing to fend off a spell of wheezes, and quickly discards the glass to the empty sheets next to her. With a buzzing in her cranium that ripples throughout her entire body, she flings herself down to her pillows to smother her overheated cheeks with a shaky sigh.

"I should get sick more often."

[sapiowoman28]

<rewrite> Chaos Part 1: A sports car

Pairing: Haechan x Noona Ally

Genre: Smut, fluff, the usual

Warnings: Sex, oral (male receiving)

Tags: @nctlover94

If there was any day to shock his friends, a couple of hours before the party of the semester was to happen was the best time for Haechan to do so. They stood at the driveway, slightly shocked, slightly awed, slightly wondering if this was real.

Renjun was the first to speak.

“You bought a car?”

“Yes, and not just any car..” Haechan said, smiling proudly, tapping against said car.

“Yeah. We can see that,” Jaemin said. “You bought an expensive sports car.”

“A very expensive one.” Jeno added, as his girlfriend tried to calculate how long Haechan would take to pay it off.

“I have a question though.” Renjun frowned. “How are you going to afford the monthly instalments?”

Haechan smirked. “I earned some money from investments.”

“That wasn’t much.” Renjun pointed out.

“Enough to pay the downpayment and three months of instalments.”

“And then after that, what?” Jeno’s girlfriend asked, raising her eyebrows.

“Oh, I’ll find some money.” Haechan dismissed their concerned looks. “I always find a way.”

“Why couldn’t you just buy a cheaper car?” Jeno asked. Haechan snorted.

“If Haechan thinks it’d be fine, it’d be fine.” Jaemin said, not entirely convinced himself.

They were at a party at the frat house of the infamous NCT. It was a going away party for some of the seniors in the frat, namely Taeyong, Johnny and Yuta. Just about everyone was there – seniors, freshmen, even a group of former students dropped by. The house was filled to the brim, music blasting (thanks to guest deejay from another frat called Woozi), and booze flowing freely.

Everyone from the gang was there – they even convinced Renjun to come along even though parties were not his thing. He watched everything happening around him with slight disdain, matched only by Jaemin’s girlfriend’s constant eyerolls.

And that was when he first noticed what she was up to.

Her name was Ally and she was a senior from the Fine Arts faculty, so they knew of each other. They acknowledged each other’s presence by raising their red paper cups, and that was that. But as the night progressed, he noticed her stealing glances in the direction of his group.

He had an inkling who she was looking at, but he wanted to confirm his suspicions. He was thinking about doing some investigative work when Jaemin nudged him.

“Ow!” Renjun glared, as Jaemin came a little too close to him.

“That girl in the black dress… standing at the other side with Yuta and his friends….” Jaemin whispered.

“She’s my senior from Fine Arts.” Renjun whispered back, realizing Jaemin had noticed her too.

“My girlfriend and I think she’s been checking Haechan out.” Jaemin grinned.

Renjun shoved Jaemin out of his face, as his eyes continued watching her like a hawk. As Haechan left their group to join Mark and Yang Yang near the entrance of the kitchen, he saw her eyes follow him.

“ha!” Renjun smiled triumphantly. “I knew it!”

“We noticed it first.” Y/N insisted.

“No you didn’t! I did!” Renjun looked ready to fight.

“Shut up guys! She’s walking over. Look normal!” Jaemin warned.

Indeed she was, walking towards them, giving Renjun the warmest smile, except, Renjun saw through her ploy.

“Haechan. His name is Haechan.” Renjun teased as she reached him and her confident face changed.

“Wh..what?” she stuttered.

“You’ve been watching my friend for over an hour now, since you arrived. His name is Haechan. I can introduce you.”

“I just came here to say hi,” she said, clearly lying. The last thing she wanted was to look like she was worming into a group of juniors to hit on one of them.

“You don’t have to be shy. He IS cute.” Renjun teased.

She gave up.

“Is he single?” she asked.

“Very.” Jaemin assured her, looking a little too eager to pimp Haechan.

“He’s very cute.” She said, watching him as he attempted to plant a kiss on Mark who was trying to push him off as Yang Yang laughed hysterically.

Suddenly Mark walked over awkwardly, as if he had been arrowed for a task. The guys started fist pumping in the awkward way they always did, earning yet another eye roll from Jaemin’s girlfriend who didn’t think it was cool.

“Where’s Jeno and his girl?” Mark asked.

“They started making out, and suddenly they left.” giggled Jaemin.

“Listen, I’m here on a mission.” Mark said, turning to Ally.

“A mission?” she looked puzzled.

“You see my friend over there?” Mark gestured at Haechan who waved back from behind Yang Yang timidly. “He’s wondering if he could have your number, except he’s too much of a coward to ask. That’s why he sent me.”

The group broke out into laughter, excitedly telling Mark what had been happening.

Ally sighed. She had enough of it. All she wanted was to know who he was, and perhaps get to know him. The last thing she wanted was additional attention or teasing from a group of juniors. With gritted teeth and clenched fists, she strode over to Haechan who looked absolutely terrified. She was determined to end this nonsense once and for all.

“Give me your phone so that I can key in my number.” She ordered.

Gulping nervously, and still standing behind Yang Yang, Haechan passed her his phone after unlocking it. She quickly typed in her name and number and passed it back to him after locking its screen.

With an evil grin, Yang Yang moved out of the way, pushing Haechan closer towards her before disappearing. She realised she might have come across as intimidating, and relaxed immediately, hoping it’d make him look a little less terrified. He gave her a nervous smile as he slotted his phone into his pocket.

“Sorry about my friends…” Haechan fidgeted uncomfortably. The dude who was cheekily trying to kiss Mark earlier was nowhere to be found.

“It’s ok.” She smiled. “That’s how friends are.”

Haechan relaxed a little.

“Do you want to go somewhere quieter to talk?” Haechan said almost heaving an audible sigh of relief when she nodded.

He took her upstairs. Typically, the upper floors were only open to the members of the frat. But he stayed over to hang out with Mark so often it didn’t matter to the other guys whenever he went up, alone or with company. They walked past 2 room doors, and when they reached the last door at the end, Haechan opened it and they both went in.

Mark’s room was neat. It wasn’t like that ordinarily of course, Before any party the boys of the frat made an effort to clean up their rooms just in case they got lucky. The last thing any of them wanted was to scare off a girl with how messy their room was.

Haechan led her in, shutting the door behind them., effectively shutting off the din from downstairs.

“So.” he said awkwardly. She giggled.

“Why are you so nervous?” she asked, stroking his cheek. “Are you scared of me?”

“No!” Haechan said, a little too loudly.

“Relax,” she said. “I don’t bite. Unless you want me to.”

Haechan felt his cock stir.

She grabbed him by his shirt and pushed him against the door.

“Noona…” he gasped, as her lips landed on his. He wrapped his arms around her waist, deepening the kiss, pushing his tongue against hers. He had been watching her all evening, and so had she, and in their tipsy haze, neither of them wanted to waste any more time.

He started to kiss down her neck, leaving a mark on it, squeezing on her breasts through the fabric of her dress. She was grinding against him, feeling him grow harder and harder. She wanted a piece of him.

“Get your jeans off” she commanded.

He felt her hands unbuckling his belt. Clumsily he started unbuttoning his jeans, pulling it down. She knelt down before him, yanking his boxers down, pulling him out. Spitting into her hand, she began stroking it slowly, looking up at Haechan’s flushed face.

“Please,” he begged.

“Please what?” she asked, though she knew what he wanted badly.

“Please suck me, Noona,” he pleaded.

She looked cheekily at him as she gave his head a few kitten licks.

“How do you like that?” she asked teasingly.

“I like it,” he said, breath laboured. "A lot."

“Do you want Noona to put your cock in her mouth?” she asked.

“Yes, please.” he gasp, as she finally relented.

“Noona!” Haechan cried out, looking down at her as she expertly used her tongue and mouth on him. After a while, he couldn’t take it anymore, grabbing her head, moving his hips against her face. He felt her fingernails grazing his thighs.

Never had he had an older more experienced woman in control, and it certainly was an experience. He knew he wasn’t going to last very long, and just as he felt like he was going to come, she stood up.

She hastily removed her underwear from below her dress, throwing it aside and dragging him over to the bed. Pushing him down on it, she climbed on top of him.

“You ok with Noona doing this, baby boy?” she asked in between more kisses. “Do you want to fuck Noona?’

“Yes, please, noona.” He whined, and she chuckled.

“You’re so cute, baby boy.” she said.

Slowly she sank down on him, and let out a sigh of contentment. She began moving on him, grabbing his shirt. He watched the expressions on her face in awe.

He reached out for hips, moving her faster. She let out a loud mew, as the bed creaked noisily under them, threatening to give way. Not that either of them cared.

“I’ve been wanting to do this all night,” she gasped. “You’re so hot.”

“Me too, Noona,” was all he could muster. “Me too.”

Under normal circumstances he would have tried to change positions. But now under her spell, all he could do was watch her. He was so close… so close…

“Haechan?”

“Yes, Noona?”

“I’m close.”

“Me too, Noona. But I want Noona to cum first,” He panted, as he started thrusting his hips upwards more forcefully, earning her squeals of delight. He grabbed her head and brought it closer to him, kissing her passionately, feeling her moan against his mouth.

“Haechan,” she panted after a while. “Noona’s gonna cum.”

He reached out for her clit, stroking it. She stiffened around him, screaming his name in abandon, knowing nobody was going to be able to hear them. As he felt her contract wave after wave around his member, he too came, letting out a loud whine.

She collapsed into his arms and he held her tight, stroking her hair.

“That was wonderful.” He said tenderly. She let out a giggle, kissing his nose.

They stayed in each other's arms in silence for a while, before he broke it.

“You know.. there’s one thing..” he said, somewhat hesitantly.

“What?” she asked.

“You never told me your name.” he said. She started giggling again.

“My name is Ally,” she grinned, pinching his cheek. “But you can call me Noona, baby boy.”

[kae-karo]

If you're up for it. Banter prompt. Line #1 - "don't tempt me". Kaeya and Albedo.

hi dear!!! tysm for your patience while i took care of a few other things, and tysm tysm for the prompt!!!! 🥰🥰

three strokes of the pencil - T - 1.5k

tags: kaebedo, getting together, canon divergence, artist albedo

[read on ao3]

--

"I was hoping for a new subject to draw.”

“And you thought of me? I’m quite flattered.”

“Yes, I was unable to locate Master Diluc. It seemed most logical that you would know his whereabouts.”

Albedo comes to Angel's Share in search of Kaeya, and Kaeya is more than happy to provide his assistance.

--

“Ah, Kaeya. I was hoping I’d find you here.”

Kaeya turns at the sound of Albedo’s voice, quirks a brow. It’s rather unusual to find the alchemist anywhere but his lab, or out in the wild working on his art. Which begs the question of why he’s here, in the middle of a tavern.

Kaeya supposes that either of his preferred pursuits could be the motivator.

“Albedo. And what brings you to Angel’s Share?” He tips his head, tips his drink in Albedo’s direction. “I don’t suppose you’ve finally decided to take me up on my offer to share a drink?”

One he has steadfastly refused, and Kaeya suspects that this evening will be no different.

“I have little interest in alcoholic beverages,” he says, rather dismissive, and purses his lips. “And if I did, I suspect I’d be able to concoct something far more effective than…” Here, he just dips his head in the direction of Kaeya’s drink.

His favored drink. He coughs out an amused breath.

“I assure you, little can compare to a glass of Death After Noon, but I’d be exceptionally eager to try anything you come up with.” He flashes a smirk, finds Albedo’s reaction to be underwhelming as ever.

What a shame - even Diluc can be riled up if the right buttons are pressed, stoic though he pretends to be. But Albedo eludes him still, and Kaeya takes a sip of his wine.

“I shall keep that in mind,” Albedo says, a bit delayed, and Kaeya hums his appreciation. “However, I have more important tasks to attend to at the moment.”

“Ah, you were looking for me?” He’d said as much upon his arrival, and a flicker of interest sparks in Kaeya’s chest.

“I was. I could use some assistance.” In spite of his...almost-request, his gaze wanders the tavern for a few moments before landing once again on Kaeya, and Kaeya quirks a brow. “I was hoping for a new subject to draw.”

Now both Kaeya’s brows arch high on his forehead.

“And you thought of me? I’m quite flattered.” He lets his grin widen just a bit before taking another sip of his drink.

“Yes, I was unable to locate Master Diluc.” Kaeya’s pride sours a bit. “It seemed most logical that you would know his whereabouts.”

Ah. Kaeya takes another sip, finds his wine tastes a little more bitter than he’d like.

“I’m afraid Master Diluc is indisposed this evening,” he says easily, and lets his gaze drift away from Albedo for a moment - it’s true, of course, but he’s not entirely at liberty to discuss the details with anyone. He did vow, if only to himself, to keep Diluc’s activities under wraps.

Silence follows his words, but a quick glance over confirms that Albedo remains, and his expression has shifted to one of-

“You’ll suffice, I suppose,” he says aloud, then, and Kaeya’s brows lift.

“Will I? Well, I can hardly compare to the wonderful Master-”

“Do you have the time to spare?” Albedo interrupts, a little sharp, and Kaeya exhales the rest of his words with an amused breath. “Or did you have more wine to attend?” A nod at his mostly-empty glass. Kaeya lets a smirk touch his lips, then downs the remainder.

“My evening has just freed up,” he says with a touch of amusement, and Albedo nods.

-----------

“How...interesting,” Kaeya says, and hears his voice echo around the walls of the ice cavern. His gaze follows the dark rivulets where the ice has cracked and refrozen, illuminated in strange colors by the torches that Albedo has lit.

“I find that this cavern makes for some intriguing light studies,” he says simply as he returns from the fourth such torch to the easel that he’s set up near the entrance to the cave. The light flickers, entrancing for the way it dances along the walls, along the snow-dusted stone beneath his feet.

Kaeya can certainly agree on one thing, at the very least - the firelight does paint Albedo in rather intriguing shades of orange and gold. For a brief moment, he wishes for the ability to draw as well as Albedo, that he might capture this scene from his own perspective.

Albedo, gaze fixed in earnest on his sketchpad, turned a beautiful gold from the torch light and standing out in a rather spectacular way against the inky depths of the night sky.

“Should I be posing in any particular way?” Kaeya prompts, half to pull himself from wandering thoughts and half in earnest. The sooner this is complete, the sooner he can return to somewhere a little warmer. Somewhere with a bit more wine.

In retrospect, he should’ve perhaps grabbed a bottle for the road.

“No. I’d prefer to capture your…” A wave of his hand, and he glances up for a moment. “Your natural essence.”

“Natural?” Kaeya hums, and a smirk tugs at his lips. “If your aim is for something more natural, perhaps I ought to rid myself of this clothing…”

It’s entirely meant to fluster Albedo, and seems very much to do nothing of the sort.

“If that’s what feels most comfortable for you,” he says absently with another wave of his hand, this time attached to a drawing implement of some kind, though the dim light makes it hard to tell what type exactly.

“Don’t tempt me,” he says with a laugh, halfhearted though, for he’s once again met with Albedo’s...disinterest. Not even the disgruntled irritation such a comment might pull from Diluc, and it compounds his intrigue.

It also compounds the unease that settles in his chest - is it truly so hard to strip away Albedo’s stoic exterior?

“Are you finished?” he asks, then, interrupting Kaeya’s rumination on this particular roadblock. Perhaps it is this exact stoicism that piques his interest, and he tips his head, meets the eyes that Albedo fixes on him. Impatience.

Interesting.

“Now that you’ve suggested it,” he says, flippant to a fault, “perhaps I would feel a bit more natural with fewer layers.”

“Very well.” His gaze flicks up, then back down. Kaeya’s lips twist.

He sheds his cape and scarf first, though Albedo seems to find this development equally uninteresting. Fine, his belt, then, and he makes a point of letting his shirt fall open a bit. This, at the very least, earns him Albedo’s attention once again.

“Finished?” Still so bored, and Kaeya huffs out a breath that clouds in front of his lips.

“Hm, still deciding,” he tries, and Albedo blinks at him, now.

“I know that Cryo users are often less susceptible to the cold, but I would recommend not wasting too much time considering your decisions.” He speaks to his sketchpad, now, and Kaeya takes a few steps closer. “You still run the risk of experiencing ill eff...ects…”

Kaeya draws to a stop just on the other side of his easel, lip curled in a subtle smirk. When he extends a hand over the top of the sketchpad, Albedo does not move away, and Kaeya’s fingers brush his cheek.

“Care to keep me warm, then?” It’s bolder than he might usually be, but little else seems to get Albedo’s attention, and Kaeya’s rather impatient himself at this point.

Albedo’s lips part, and Kaeya lets his thumb drag across the bottom one.

“I see,” he says, then tips his head just a bit into Kaeya’s palm. “So you are interested in me in that way.” He hums as though considering the idea of that properly, and Kaeya’s eyes narrow. Had he suspected that to be the case?

If so, why-

Ah.

“If you wanted to confirm your suspicions, dear alchemist, all you had to do was ask.” At Kaeya’s words - an accusation of sorts, really - Albedo’s lip ticks up at the corner, such a subtle smirk that Kaeya might miss it if he weren’t so close.

“I prefer to conduct my experiments. After all, they tend to lead to rather…” A pause, and Albedo’s gaze drifts down to Kaeya’s exposed chest. “Interesting results.”

Kaeya’s grin widens, and he steps around the side of the easel.

“Was this not the expected outcome?” Kaeya prompts, teasing laced through his tone as he steps closer. His hand drifts, now, to trace along the edge of the mark at Albedo’s throat, and Albedo hums.

“It was, and it wasn’t. I might need to conduct a few more experiments in order to…” His hand lifts, drapes over Kaeya’s shoulder and tugs him closer. “More confidently confirm my hypothesis.”

“Oh, is that so?” Kaeya dips his head, lets his lips stop just short of Albedo’s. Warm breath brushes his lips, just a little bit too fast. “Well, I’m certainly more than glad to assist in your...research efforts.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” A quirked brow before Albedo’s gaze flicks down to Kaeya’s lips.

Kaeya huffs out a breath, rather entertained by this exchange, though it’s immediately stifled by Albedo’s mouth, warm and insistent against his. He hums into Albedo’s lips in amused surprise, but goes easily when Albedo drags him closer. After all, this is precisely the outcome that Kaeya had hoped for.

He wonders, as fingers twist into his hair, what else Albedo has in mind for future...experiments.

[damienthepious]

lalalala cuddles!!!

slowly a sunlit dream

[ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla, Lord Arum/Rilla

Characters: Rilla, Lord Arum

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, Mild Hurt/Comfort, (like... INCREDIBLY mild), Cuddling & Snuggling, Hugs, Communication, (we love to see it!!!!), Sleepy Cuddles

Summary: It isn't always easy, asking to be held.

Notes: @skunkoon​ did this to me with Art. they draw good good Arum and good good Hugs. i'm still weepy about it!!! also sometimes the person in the throuple most likely to comfort everyone else is the one who needs a bit of comfort. hell yeah. Title from the song Sunkissed, by khai dreams!

~

"Arum?"

Arum startles, just enough that Rilla can catch the edge of it, his frill fluttering at his neck as the muscles in his arms tense, and then his frame and his expression both soften as he recognizes her in the doorway.

"Amaryllis," he greets, his voice steady though she can still see the surprise in his expression. "I thought you and Damien were long asleep, by now." He pauses. "I did not manage to wake you, somehow, did I?"

Rilla shakes her head, hazarding a few steps into his workshop. "No, nothing like that."

"So," he says slowly, "you are wandering the Keep in the middle of the night... why, precisely?"

Rilla scowls at that, though a little bubble of affection pops behind her ribs at his dry, lazy tone.

"Not wandering," she protests, stepping close enough that she can lean against the worktable next to Arum. "If I wanted to wander I would have gone down to the greenhouse. Plenty of space down there."

"So what are you doing, then?" he drawls, projecting patience over his obvious curiosity.

Rilla opens her mouth to answer, but-

It's a little embarrassing, isn't it? Or- she wouldn't be embarrassed if this were Damien, but- Arum doesn't always understand, instinctively-

His brow slowly climbs as she fails to answer, and Rilla isn't as good with words as Damien is, so she just-

She tips her body sideways into Arum's, knocking her forehead into his shoulder with a sigh, and Arum startles with a small whirring exhale at the contact.

His scales are cool and textured, soothing against her skin, and she sighs again as she nuzzles her brow into his shoulder.

"Ah- Amaryllis? Are you-"

"It's- stupid," she mutters. "This is stupid, I just- I didn't want to wake Damien, and-"

"What- Amaryllis. Clearly something is wrong, and I refuse to believe that it is stupid. Now, are you going to tell me, or do you expect me to guess?" He raises an eyebrow as she scowls, and then he tilts his head. "It is enough unlike you to hesitate that I cannot imagine that I would ever be able to pluck the correct answer from the air."

Rilla swallows, and then she lifts her head just enough to meet his eyes.

"Just... is it alright if I ask... will you just- hold me?"

Arum blinks, and then his brow furrows as his eyes flick between her own, checking- to see if she's joking, maybe. He turns, though, angling his body towards her, and he lifts a pair of hands hesitantly, his palms brushing her elbows on either side, skating up her biceps.

"Hold you?" he tries, sounding uncertain. "If- I suppose if you-"

Rilla shoves her face into his chest, folding her body against Arum's much larger frame, and the monster exhales a hiss of surprise. He stands perfectly still for a breath, and then he slips his hands further around her, one pair wrapping around her lower back, another hand curled around her shoulder, and the fourth he slips up the back of her neck, cupping her head with his claws careful in her hair.

"Amaryllis..."

Rilla squeezes her eyes more tightly closed, her forehead pressing against Arum's collarbone. "Just- is this okay?" she mumbles against his scales, and she feels Arum's breath catch as he scrapes his claws carefully up and down her back.

"Okay," he echoes, doing very little to hide how baffled he sounds. "Why- why would it not be? Are you- Amaryllis. Are you alright?"

"Just- tired," she says, and she knows she sounds unconvincing even as she speaks. "Just wanted- wanted this."

Pressed to his chest with all of his arms around her, Arum's body nearly envelops her, her head tucked beneath his chin, his scales smooth and gently warm against her cheek and her hands, his heart beating sturdy in her ear, his tail tickling at her ankle before it curls in a protective loop around her calves. His palm cradles the base of her skull, careful like he's holding blown glass, his other arm wraps sturdy and close around her shoulder, his lower hands lace fingers together over the small of her back, holding her, holding her-

She needed-

"Amaryllis," he says, even more quietly, and then he rocks his body just barely, almost imperceptibly, back and forth, swaying with her as if to some silent music. "If you are tired... should you not, perhaps, be sleeping?"

"Couldn't," she mumbles, and then she shakes her head against his chest. "Sorry. I wouldn't... I wouldn't bother you with this if-"

"You are not bothering me, Amaryllis," Arum insists, the arms around her lower back squeezing tighter. "I- I would be lying if I said that I understand precisely what... why you would- would seek me out, but-"

"I like the way you hold me," she says, and Arum's body goes entirely still for half a heartbeat before he makes a small, helpless sort of noise above her and his frame softens. His grip does not tighten, then, but he seems to ease into the embrace, softening around her like a cat settling to rest.

"How convenient for me, then," he rasps, his voice even rougher than normal as he whispers above her head. "Considering that I very, very much enjoy holding you."

He sways lightly, silent for a long moment as she just- presses against his chest, secure and sheltered, trying not to feel like she's imposing, because-

"M'not really good at this part," she admits, eventually, her lips brushing his scales and her eyes still closed, and Arum hums lightly, his throat rumbling against the top of her head.

"Experience suggests that you are quite good at nearly everything you try, Amaryllis," he says mildly, and after she breathes a dubious laugh he continues, "but... you believe you are not good at what, precisely?"

She swallows, blinking, too close to Arum for her eyes to really focus on the glossy green in front of her, and the next words... don't really come. She jerks her shoulder very slightly after a moment, the weakest of shrugs, and Arum hums again.

"Amaryllis... forgive me for asking... this is not..." he pauses, massages his thumbs gently into her lower back, and then he huffs and tries again. "This is not due to something that I have unknowingly done wrong in our-"

"No," she says, quick and firm. "No, this isn't- I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be obnoxious, I know you're still new at this-" he growls at that, automatic and entirely without heat, "and I'm not trying to make things harder. It's just- bad day, I guess. Bunch of difficult patients, and then Damien was so exhausted when he got home and then- I couldn't sleep but I didn't want to bother the Keep to bring me back to the hut to at least get some work done, especially because I knew Damien would be- be sad at me if I didn't at least try to sleep, and I just- I just wanted- but I didn't want to wake him up, and I thought- if you were still awake, maybe..."

Arum gives a low, rattling hiss above her head. Not shushing her, she doesn't think, just- a rhythmic soothing sound that she can feel in his chest as he sways with her.

"I..." he hesitates for a moment. "That sounds... difficult," he says, stiff and uncertain, but genuine. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well." She nuzzles her face into his chest, squeezing her eyes closed again. "You're making it better."

"Am I?" he akss, skeptical, and then he hisses again when Rilla places a kiss over his heart. "Amaryllis-"

"I'm not good at at being the one who needs- who asks for- for- for help or comfort or whatever," she mutters, rushing through the last few words, as if maybe that might keep Arum from noticing them.

He makes a noise, tilting his head enough that he can press his snout into her hair, a nuzzling sort of kiss.

"That- well, I should hardly think that-"

He pauses for a long moment, just... holding her, swaying, drawing his fingertips in soothing patterns across her skin, holding her.

"I... I love you," he whispers eventually, precious like a secret. "I want to be... I want to hold you. I want you to... to come to me, when you wish to be held. I'm- I am glad that you did, that you feel that you can. It is an honor, to be trusted so. One that I hardly deserve, I think."

Rilla scowls, poking Arum in the ribs, and the lizard gusts a startled laugh.

"I know that I am... unpracticed," he continues, his voice a little less heavy. "But certainly you know that I... you know how dearly I wish for you to be... happy. Content, and held, and..."

"Love you too," she says, and then she kisses the scales over his heart again.

Arum exhales, a pleased rumble, and then he tightens his grip, squeezing her in his arms.

"Are you... do you feel... better, then?" he asks, after a long moment.

Rilla nods against his chest, sighing. "Felt better as soon as you started hugging me," she mumbles.

"Hm, how curious," he says, the warmth in his tone belying the false dryness of his words. "So did I."

She laughs, light and breathy, and then she sighs and leans back enough that she can properly meet Arum's eyes again. "Alright, okay. I think I've bothered you long enough."

"Inaccurate," the monster grumbles, his tail squeezing at her ankle. "If anything... well, loathe as I am to admit it, I should have given up on the evening and joined you both in bed quite a while ago, anyway. You've given me a firm and well-needed nudge in that direction."

Rilla smiles. "Ooh, a rarity! The monster admits his limits-"

"A flaw we share, little doctor," he growls, and Rilla grins and pats her hands on his chest in a placating gesture. "Now..."

He shifts slightly, but then he pauses.

"Hm?"

"Ah," Arum murmurs, and then the arm curled around her upper back shifts, his palm caressing her shoulder as he slips subtly closer towards her again. "I believe I've discovered an obstacle."

Rilla blinks, then tries to angle her head so she can look up at his face a little better. There's an edge of playfulness in his eyes, familiar and just as comforting as his touch. "Wh... what. What is it?"

"I believe that you may have, unfortunately, entirely destroyed your likelihood of returning to bed, Amaryllis."

"Oh?" Rilla raises a skeptical eyebrow, trying to level Arum with as much of an unimpressed look as she can manage.

"You asked me to hold you," he purrs, two palms flexing against her back as he slips his other hand from her hair to caress her cheek. "I am afraid, Amaryllis, that I will be rather hard pressed to let you go anytime soon. I think we may be stuck."

Rilla laughs, leaning up at the gentle request of his fingertips, pressing a humming kiss to his smirking lips.

"Alright. An obstacle, admittedly, but one that I think we can work through. I'm fairly certain that we can get to bed without you needing to let me go. Don't you think?"

Arum laughs against her lips, then kisses her again. "An excellent point, my brilliant little doctor," he says, and Arum lifts her into his arms, easy and safe and warm.