#Is it stupid? Fuck yes

[puppiesandnightlock]

So y’all know that one episode in s3 of smallville where the cheerleaders make like love chemistry or whatever, feed t to the football players, and Chloe drinks it and shows up at Clark’s house in his jersey

The Jersey thing but with damijon

could have be doused with some kind of pollen??? Toxin?? That no fear toxin maybe?? red k??

[jellogram]

On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.

So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"

And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."

"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"

"Of course!"

Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.

Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!

And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.

And turns it on.

Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously

[arcane-gold]

hello rookanis nation. can i present rel and lucanis’s dynamic. sun and moon trope, one with boundless energy and one who gets 2 hours of sleep a night, guy i pulled by being an idiot, etc. they’re special to me

[missallanious]

I FINISHED IT YAAAAY

[lesbianwyllravengard]

I accidentally made Astarion sit down after lighting him on fire during combat

[soup-mother]

no offense to that one person in that reblog chain but i don't think "pioneered conveyor belt usage in a way that changed the valuation of workers" (essentially a technological/technique shift that would likely happen anyway) is quite up there on the list of Henry Ford's evils compared to being a massive nazi or the horrific rubber plantation stuff. one of these things is not quite like the others.

[baejax-the-great]

Told Gale to wait for me in camp, and he responded by walking straight into lava and dying

[jesuistrestriste]

i think art would say “fuck me” even when you’re in missionary, even when he’s getting a blowjob. even when he’s in a physically dominant role hes still sososo submissive, looking to his partner for guidance and reassurance. he is so dumb💝

oh absolutely

it doesn’t matter if he’s the one penetrating you—trapping you underneath his warm heavy body while his cock slides in and out—he’s always gonna reach for your hand and moan like he’s losing himself.

he’s curling his hips repeatedly atop you, desperately trying to get deeper while he gasps and twitches. licking at your neck and breathing in the smell of sex that’s wafting off the both of your bodies. his balls are drawing tighter with each consecutive thrust, but as soon as he starts to feel the boiling of heat begin to climb up his length—

“oh, fuck me,” he whimpers; not an exclamation, but a desperate plea.

his voice is breaking and sizzling around the edges, needy and hungry and falling apart.

he squeezes your hand that he caught with his own minutes prior, pushing it down into the mattress as he feels your legs wrap around him and force his tip deeper till it hits your sweet spot buried inside.

“gah! fuck me, fuck me, yeah please—“

he’s slamming into you repeatedly with abandon, but he’s begging you to keep going. it doesn’t make sense, and deep down he knows that, but right now it doesn’t matter. he knows you’ll know what he needs.

you reach your hands up and pet his trembling biceps, and you kiss away some of the sweat pearling on his neck. “you like when i fuck you?”

“oh yeah!”

“..yeah?”

“yes, g-god, need to—“

you brush your lips over the shell of his ear.

“i’ve got you, baby.. let me fuck the cum out of you…”

and that’s all it takes for him to let the waves of pleasure consume him wholly; his eyes rolling back as he cries out brokenly and lets his hips stutter. he’s clinging to you with everything he’s got as he feels his cock jump and spill a heavy creamy load into your squeezing parts, mumbling into your skin, “love you, love you, love you—”

“— you fuck me so good…”

[just-null]

which of the clones would we soften up to first? because it's gonna happen eventually, right? I imagine it's Urogi > Karaku > Aizetsu > Sekido

Aizetsu then Karaku, i think.... Urogi and Sekido are spot on yeah!

Who you choose to pursue first is up to you. This is who gets all mushy for you in what order. once you have Urogi pining, youre hard locked into their route, sorries.

[rambling about losers softening up]

Urogi, he's just a needy guy who gets pretty hungry.. It's easy to set him off at first because while he's reckless, he's not about to trust a stranger! His problem is when optimism and overconfidence accidentally mix making him receptive to you. You can't do anything to him, he's upper four! but once he's in the palm of your hand, he'll refuse to leave. He wears his heart on his sleeve, and any kindness and tending make him really happy. Being with you brings a different kind of joy he never expected. It's warmer, kind of nerve wracking but exciting at the same time. Like he found his place with you. His heart flutters in a way that gets him so giddy, he can't help but want to reach out to you forever! The addictive tightness in his chest pushes him to crave you, since you're the only one who makes him feel this way!

Urogi softens up to you first because you're not a real threat to them. You're just a squishy weakling! A cute one! A reaaaally really cute one, like very cute.. too cute to eat...... DEFINITELY too cute to let anyone else eat!

The rest have their guard up to some degree and won't just throw their heart around at anybody. The world is against them after all!

Aizetsu is a tough nut because of his demotivation and overall apathetic sorrow. He makes no moves to progress or distance himself in the beginning, you're just someone, and he's stagnant. he's quicker to warm up to you than Karaku if you pamper and spoil him a little. like cleaning his spear, providing a place for him to rest, to wash up, or rescuing him from the others into a quieter room. Hell, if you get him food somehow, he stares at you with wide eyes and accepts the gift. It's not difficult to notice how Aizetsu melted after a while when he quietly follows you around like an cat that's constantly seeking affection. What shocks his clone counter parts is how he willingly volunteers to actually DO things for you. You make things so bright, he can't help that he's like a moth to a flame.

That's if you're doting to some degree, but Aizetsu comes around eventually either way, just because you provide shelter (that they technically forced their way into, but never mind that.) He does things with impressive efficiency the others were not expecting he was capable of. So what if he wants to show off a little..?

Karaku isn't easy because he really feels nothing for you aside for entertainment at first. the fact you're able to juggle all four of them amused him is all. He'd enjoy picking and teasing you, the others as well. Calling out when their faces would get red around you and cackling at them. It's difficult for him to tell the difference between pleasure and actual affection, but he never thinks on it too hard. Karaku probably even flirted with you or fought for your attention cause the others wanted it. When asked about you, like your name or interests, he deflected the question. What do you mean? how was he supposed to remember that?! He realized he fell when he's on his own and finds his mind wandering to you, thinking about the little things you do. How you eat, look when something mildly upsets you, when you're genuinely happy. then cusses under his breath cause now he fell for the same trick the others did. Oh, well, no use fighting off these feelings.

Karaku is like the play boy who falls for the first time, except he just needs time around you to actually fall. he accepts it cause this just makes things ten times more interesting. Now he's emotionally invested!! The others clown on him when he slips up and calls you by your name instead of a nickname.

Now for the toughest nut to crack since he's actively rejecting these feelings, Sekido! They rejected their humanity even as a human, why the hell is he going to allow himself to get attached to their food? Because he's as foolish as the idiots he's around, including you! He finds himself sputtering for words if you agree with him after venting, actively listening to him and trying to make his life easier. he's so... conflicted. Similar to the others, he doesn't deny his feelings once they've taken root. he might as well fight air if he were to try. And it's internally comforting to have someone capable of rangling his clones to some extent..

You'd need to have the favor of the others before Sekido fully allows himself to warm up to you. Like the ultra secret tough route of a dating sim..... but its so worth it when you get to see how he sends everyone away except for you so he can "think" on his own and insists that your presence is absolutely necessary.

[nicollekidman]

killing myself over this but buffy inviting riley and spike inviting the vampire next to him in the initiative cell is SO funny like they’re mutually friendless and delusional

[kilopascals]

i fucking love luffy. his main character energy is unmatched by any other protagonist. sometimes he gets the shit beat out of him, but he’s watching his opponent the whole time. he’s taking it all in. he’s categorized all of their weaknesses and after he eats some meat, he’s wiping the floor with them while pointing and laughing

[rednite-dork]

me when laios tiddies:

[rynli]

bread scene doodle dump to fight the artblock

[all-seeing-ifer]

this is how all the guys in the terror look to me

[jesterjaxx]

comic from a 2 month old conversation about Duntrent's first kiss being a shotgun to share a hit

Bonus Duncan when he gets home:

[eddienotcursed]

“Couldn’t get lieutenant Bites to smile in the picture though”

Family picccccccc