#Introversion Records

[misc-obeyme]

Lucifer is an introvert. He tolerates his brothers but often doesn’t join them for things like gaming sessions or shopping. He sits in his office and does paperwork seemingly because he’s overworked but it’s clear that Diavolo doesn’t want him to do that. Which means he’s doing it because he wants to. He can say he’s doing his job and his pride will not allow him to do his job any less than perfect. And yeah that’s probably true.

But he also just likes being alone. When he’s not working, he’s in the music room listening to cursed records by himself. He’ll have tea with Diavolo and Barbatos - two people that are his close friends and generally quieter than the company he has at home. He invites MC to join him sometimes because he wants to be alone with them.

This is all classic introvert behavior. Lucifer is what you get when an introvert doesn’t develop social anxiety alongside their introversion. Confident, proud, willing to go to great lengths to protect those they love, but also just wants their me-time okay?

[gojhoes]

Flesh Wound

summary: Yuta shows up to his new school with a single goal in mind: stay under the radar. Only he lands in the direct path of the school's outcast- you, with your hemp cigarettes and permanent scowl. An unlikely friendship, dark pasts, and sweet nothings.

warnings: mature topics, TRIGGER WARNING: dissociation, description of self-harm, suicide pairings : yuta x fem!reader (as teenagers and adults) contents: slow burn, hurt/comfort, time jumps, no curse au, not canon, reader has piercings/tattoos/dyed hair (mentioned), aged-up in next part wc: ~7k

“You’re in my seat.”

So much for laying low, Yuta thinks, which he has been successful in accomplishing up until this moment. He raises his head to see your steely gaze threatening to tear him to pieces and his mouth goes dry. He's too startled to get a proper look at you, but he immediately notices your septum piercing and the dark kohl lining your eyes.

“Oh, sorry!” he says lamely. He scrambles clumsily to his feet and resultantly knocks his binder to the floor. You're staring daggers at him as you lower yourself into your unassigned-assigned seat, and he bends to retrieve the fallen binder with shaking hands.

The desks in the classroom are arranged in pairs, most of which were already filled by a body or a backpack when Yuta walked in several minutes ago. Upon a quick survey, he sees that the only remaining option is the desk to your left, and something tells him there's a reason why it otherwise sits empty. He smiles at you nervously in hopes to dull the tension, but you've already looked away to pull a pair of headphones and a book from your dark green tote bag.

It's his third attempt at his first day of upper secondary school, and Yuta has already decided that there will not be a fourth. In his head, he'll joke that three schools in six months is probably some kind of record, but the reality is that it's embarrassing. His introversion and awkward nature already make socializing difficult for him, so his new plan to avoid it altogether. The two vices have only increased in intensity since leaving primary school, but he's grown accustomed to being alone.

It's normal to him, to lay awake into the early hours of the morning as the knife of loneliness cuts through him and twists savagely. It's normal, he thinks, to daydream about having tons of friends who sling their arms around his shoulders at parties as they hand him a red cup made of plastic. Everyone eats their lunch by themselves outside on the sidewalk...every day. Even if he is aware of the truth deep down, it's much easier to cloud his conscious mind and live as though he's not really there. As though he is an observer of his own body, watching the movie that is his life from above.

But you looked right at him and ripped him from that daydream he so desperately clings to without awareness. Before he can put his head down and lull himself back to safety, the tardy bell rings, and the cacophony of students' conversations quiets as the teacher commences roll call.

Yuta is painfully aware of when she goes straight from Ogawa to Ryu, skipping right over his own last name. His pulse jumps- he knows what's coming, and regardless of how many schools he's been in and out of, he always hates this part. No one really cares to know him, but he obliges to limit the awkwardness and speed up the exchange.

"Please welcome your newest classmate," the teacher says, gesturing toward him with a smile. "Yuta Okkotsu, stand up, please."

But he's already standing, so he waves awkwardly as every head in the classroom turns in his direction. Except for you, whose eyes remain trained directly on the book in your hands, and Yuta swears he hears you tsk under your breath. "Please call me Yuta."

There is a unified murmur of empty welcomes and the teacher allows him to retake his seat. Yuta eyes dart around the room, doing everything he can to avoid pissing you off further. He catches sight of the perfectly painted black polish on your nails and pauses at a nasty looking scar stretching across your knuckles. Otherwise perfect hands marred by silvery tissue knitted over bone. You catch him trying to read the title printed on the cover of your book and you scowl, placing your tote on top of the table to block his view.

Yuta sighs as he opens his binder. He wonders briefly if the next six months will be like this, every day spent a few inches away from someone who despises him. It's not his fault if there aren't any other open desks, but somehow guilt riddles him anyway.

The next several hours pass without incident, and Yuta is shocked to see that you've done nothing but read for the entire class. The teacher seems to ignore you largely, even skipping over you when she goes around the room with handouts. You've said nothing more to him, so Yuta adopts the attitude that everyone else seemingly exhibits toward you.

There's a tap on his shoulder, startling him, and Yuta flinches as he turns around to glimpse the assailant.

"Sorry," says a boy with pinkish dyed hair. "Do you have a pencil I can borrow?"

Yuta waits for the jests and laughter to follow, but it doesn't come. The boy holds his stare until Yuta realizes he isn't being cheeky, and stutters out a reply. "Yeah, hold on."

It's already a few minutes before lunch and this guy is just now asking for a pencil?, Yuta thinks to himself. But he doesn't voice the thought, only twisting to hold out the utensil as the boy smiles. "Thanks, uh..Yuki?"

"Yuta," he corrects gently. The boy laughs nervously as he rubs the back of his neck.

"Right, sorry. I'm Yuji, just so you know. Thanks for the pencil."

Yuta nods, but as he turns around he struggles not to cringe visibly. Everything about the exchange makes him want to crawl into a hole and die. He curses himself for the ineptitude of his social skills as the teacher wraps up the rest of her lesson.

The second that everyone is dismissed for their lunch break, you're on your feet and tearing out of the room without a word. You are distractingly strange, from the piercing in your nose to the odd scar painting your hand. As he pulls last night's leftovers of kimchi stir-fry from his bag, Yuta's wondering where you've gone in such a desperate hurry. He doesn't notice Yuji standing beside him until the other boy drops something on his desk unceremoniously.

"Here," Yuji says cheerfully. "For giving me your pencil."

Yuta pauses to take in the packaged sweet bun that now graciously sits before him. He looks up at his classmate as though the kid is God himself.

Yuji gestures at the seat beside him. "She's scary, right?" he says. "I'm surprised she let you sit with her."

Yuta lets out a breathy nervous laugh. "Yeah, I don't think she likes me very much."

Yuji's leans in, straight-faced as he holds eye intense contact with Yuta. "Nah, she doesn't talk, like, ever. Ever ever."

There is an uncomfortable pause until Yuji suddenly pulls back and smiles. "You seem like a cool guy, so don't let someone like her get your mind twisted. Where are you from?"

Yuta decides he likes this Yuji kid very quickly. Since the seat next to him is yours, Yuji stays upright to chat while Yuta picks at his lunch. Before he knows it, Yuta has spent the entire break period talking (mostly listening), until the bell rings and snaps him out of the conversation. His heart is pounding, but he can't deny that it was a nice chat.

You, on the other hand, slide back into your seat two seconds before the tardy bell goes off. He considers asking you where you went, but his thoughts get interrupted when he sees you pull a pen and an actual notebook out of your bag. The lesson after lunch is biology, which is one that Yuta doesn't care much about, but you seem to be perking right up as you date a blank page.

The end of the day arrives at last, but the teacher has apparently decided that the torture of an eight-hour span of learning is not enough. Before dismissing the class, she announces a quarter-long group project that "is to be completed with your tablemate".

Yuta feels like he's been dipped in acid the way his body tenses uncomfortably. Anxiety deprives his mind of words, but fuck, he has to ask you because it's worth 30% percent of his final grade. And he's trying to be a better student, a better person, blah blah blah. So he follows you as you sprint out the door, unwilling to back down.

He opens his mouth to call out your name only to realize that he doesn't know it. You had given no introduction, not acknowledging him or anyone else the entire day. In the haze of his desperation, Yuta thrusts his hand out and wraps his hand tightly around your forearm.

You flinch and gasp loudly as you whirl around to face him, eyes wide with panic. Upon realizing it was him, your shock turns to irritation with a nasty scowl. "What?" you snap. "What the fuck, let me go!"

He loosens his grip and drops his arm to by his side, highly aware that you just screamed "let me go" at him in a crowded hallway. However, no one seems to be paying attention to either one of you in their hurry to escape.

"Don't run," he says firmly.

You're gripping where he'd grabbed you with your other hand. "That fucking hurt, you asshole."

He ignores you, even if he does feel a little bad for grabbing you as hard as he did. "We need to figure out our project stuff."

You laugh, sharp and humorless laugh right in his face. "I'm not doing that shit."

It's not often that Yuta gets angry, but he can't help but to feel irritated by your flighty attitude. He had come to this school for a fresh start with a plan to do well and keep to himself. He, of all people, understands the hatred of group projects, but you still have to do them. He wants to argue with you and remind you that it's not just your grade at stake, but he knows that it's useless. You're already halfway down the hall, and he knows that you aren't going to look back. *** Yuta walks into the classroom with a set jaw and squared shoulders. There are exactly two days left until the deadline to submit the first draft of the project. True to your word, you have contributed absolutely nothing and have not offered to help once. And Yuta can't stop putting it off any chance he gets because at heart, he is a procrastinator, and it's complete bullshit that you get to blow it off without consequence.

So, he is on a mission, channeling every ounce of confidence that he's capable of producing. He's crafted his approach very diligently; he's going to demand that you participate in this project. No stuttering, no softness, no taking "no" for an answer. The shred of confidence he's got holds true as you walk through the door with your head already buried in a book.

You're late, as usual, and Yuta finds himself wondering how you haven't been kicked out of the school with your observably poor attendance record. He's come into this expecting to be shot down, or for you to yell at him or maybe slap him with one of your hardcover novels. He does not expect the simple and submissive "okay" that escapes your parted lips.

Yuta blinks at you. "Okay?"

You shrug, closing your book after marking your place with a sticky note. You're looking at him head-on with no trace of evidence that you might be messing with him. "If I say no, you'll probably cry, and I don't want that on my conscience."

A part of him screams that he should argue against such a statement, but the surprise at your cooperation overshadows the usual bite of your disrespect. Yuta relaxes visibly as he launches into phase two of his mission: organizing the project.

He explains, "Well, the first draft is due in two days, so we should work on it as soon as possible," noticing how you frown at the end of his sentence. "What?"

"You haven't even started?" you say dubiously, drawing your brows together.

Yuta's jaw drops. How are you going to turn this around on him when you insisted you weren't going to help in the first place? But as usual, he holds his tongue and replaces the quip with the first words that come to mind. "Well, I- I've been busy and I'm not good at science-"

As is typical of you, you interrupt him mid-sentence once again. "One: you're a terrible partner, and two: how can you be bad at science? Literally all you have to do is read." You sigh sharply and pinch the bridge of your nose. "It seems you really do need my help."

If tolerating your backward insults was what he had to do to get you to help, then so be it. Your jests were something he was growing used to, anyway.

"When should I come over then?" you ask nonchalantly.

A normal teenaged boy would be doing somersaults at the prospect of having a girl ask to go to his house, but Yuta can only feel his anxiety soar as he grimaces. Every millisecond seems to last a full minute as he tries to think of answer. He hadn't thought about the fact that he was going to have to see you outside of school.

You can't come to his house, not with the state of it right now. Yuta would rather die than you lay eyes on his place. The lamest excuse tumbles out of his mouth. "Oh, my mom doesn't let me have-"

"God, fine," you groan, rolling your eyes. "You can just come to my house after school, I guess."

Yuta blanches. "Today?"

You glare at him, and he raises his hands defensively.

"You said "as soon as possible"," you spit matter-of-factly.

"No, no, it's fine," he says quickly. "Thank you."

He's never been to a girl's house before under any circumstances. He's nervous, no- he's terrified to be alone with you.

"Don't think this means I like you," you say as you jab your finger at him.

Yuta shakes his head insistently as if to prove just how much he understands. *** The rest of the day drags on, and by the time the dismissal bell rings, Yuta's nails are nothing but bitten-down stumps. He is so nervous that he's sure there will be sweat stains when he takes his uniform off later. He has a mental image of a bedroom with black-painted walls and a spiked coffin in place of a bed.

The walk to your house is short and painfully quiet. You move surprisingly fast, as though as you can't stand to slow down in fear of wasting time. And he's disappointed by the quaint house that you approach with your keys in hand. He'd half-expected a vampire's den, but the place is nothing of the sort. There's a lawn statue designed to look like a cat sitting by the front door. There are several large pothos plants hanging from the spandrels, lush and bright green- clearly well taken care of.

"My mom gets home at 8:30, so we have a few hours," you say as you turn to unlock the front door. "Want a snack or anything?"

The offer is kind and so uncharacteristic of you that it takes him aback slightly. He declines, silently trailing behind as you lead him into the kitchen.

Something soft brushes at his ankles and he glances down to see an orange cat head-butting him. Yuta smiles and bends to rub its ears as it purrs against his hand.

"That's Momo," you say. "She's super friendly." The cat rushes to your side when you say its name and you scoop it up easily with one hand. You're not smiling, but there is a softening of your gaze as you scratch behind Momo's ears, who has their eyes closed purring contentedly.

"Want to give her a treat?" you ask. "She'll love you forever."

Yuta grins. "Hit me." And you're handing him a blue tube with pinkish gel creeping out the open end. Momo goes ballistic, springing out of your arms and racing over to Yuta's ankles once again. He bends down to give it to her, laughing at the zeal with which she devours the treat.

He glances up to see you smiling a little, and it's shocking. "Churu's her favorite."

"I can tell."

You snort. "Let's go up."

Yuta follows with Momo on his heels as you ascend to the upper level. The anxiety has really settled in as he realizes he's about to be alone with a girl in her room.

He sheds the backpack hanging from his shoulders and retrieves his binder in search of the incomplete project outline. Your desk is impeccably organized and Yuta notices a pair of succulents on top. The single window in the room sits behind the desk, overlooking the street below.

"You can take the mushroom," you point to an impossibly tiny mushroom-shaped stool in the corner. Yuta doesn't dare risk facing your wrath by declining, so he drags it over to your desk and settles himself down awkwardly.

"So, I was thinking we do a visual," Yuta starts.

You hum, peering over his scarce notes with your brows drawn in concentration. "Sure."

Yuta has spent every day of the last two weeks sitting a couple of inches to your right, but it feels very different doing so in your room. You're still wearing your school clothes, but your hair is clipped back and strands of it fall into your face as you write down ideas. The light here is different, and he sees you from other angles. More than once, he finds his gaze straying to the exposed flesh of your thighs spreading across your desk chair.

It's a lot of back and forth, but eventually the outline looks decent enough that Yuta is satisfied. He's writing out the remaining formulas, feeling burnt out as he tries to recall the specific elements. A quick glance at his phone tells him that it's 8:02PM, meaning you've been at it for nearly three hours.

"Ugh, give me that." You reach to yank the pencil from his grasp, fingers lingering on his as you frown. "Why are you wearing a ring?" you ask.

Yuta glances at the silver band around his finger which has been there so long it may as well have been part of his body. It feels strange for you to be touching his hand, so he drops the pen and lays it flat on top of his thigh.

"It was a gift," he replies with a tone that welcomes no further questions. You're surprised by the hardness of his voice, only nodding as you hold the pencil properly to write. Yuta thinks that perhaps, one day he will tell you, but it's not a story he wishes to recall in any sort of detail. You're quick to change the subject, asking him to read off the measurements so you can fill them in. It seems that you're apt for reading the moods of others, so much so that Yuta sends you his silent appreciation. *** The weekend comes and goes all too quickly, and before he knows it, it's Tuesday again, and up in your room, you're arguing with Yuta about which colors to use in your project.

"Warm colors are not scientific," you insist. "Our project is biology, so it should be green. Life equals green, or whatever."

"Why do you suddenly care so much about the quality of your work?" Yuta shoots back. He's not angry, the argument being more so teasing than real. But he's learned recently that he kind of enjoys seeing you get riled up, so when you first expressed your discontent with his color choice, he decided to hang back and see where the altercation would go.

You sigh sharply and squeeze your eyes shut for a second. When you open them, you reach into your desk drawer and pull out something he can't see, because you've already shoved it into your pocket.

"I need a break," you say. "Let's go."

You're walking out of your bedroom with intention in your every movement. Yuta follows, letting you lead him through the house, then outside behind a garden shed. He's sandwiched between two feet of space between it and the tall wooden fence surrounding your home. You stand just before him, thrusting your hand into your pocket to pull out... a pack of cigarettes?!

"Come on, it's just CBD," you say, rolling your eyes at Yuta's stunned expression. "My mom knows a lady who rolls them by hand."

As if that makes it any better. There's a lighter in your other hand as you slip a cigarette between your lips. Expertly, you hold it over the small flame and take the first drag.

"What does you mom do?" Yuta asks. Neither of you have talked much about your families, but the way you speak about your mom makes him curious.

You exhale, and smoke billows around him. "She's a ballet instructor."

"Oh."

You're puffing on the cigarette as though it's natural to you. He watches the way you drag on it, counts out how long it takes, and he likes the way you blow the smoke out through your teeth. It's captivating, and he feels for a moment that he might be in a movie.

"Oh, sorry," you say, holding it out to him. "Did you want some?"

Yuta slips the cigarette between his index and middle fingers, observing it as he contemplates whether to try it. He raises his eyebrows at you before bringing it to his lips. "You're sure this is CBD?"

You nod. "Scout's honor."

So, he takes a drag, trying to copy your exact motions down to the exhale. He coughs a little, but aside from a smoky flavor on his tongue, there is no noticeable difference.

"Do you like it?"

Yuta shrugs and passes it back. "I don't really feel anything."

You roll your eyes and scoff at him. "You need to have more than one hit, dummy. It's not supposed to feel like much of anything."

He doesn't understand your logic (he rarely does), but he watches as you finish it off, flicking ashes into a small hole dug into the dirt under the shed.

*** "How do you get away with your nose ring?" Yuta asks.

He's sitting at your desk with his hands hovering over his laptop keyboard, halfway facing it while also trying to look at you over on the bed. Summer has come more quickly than anticipated and with it, the project's deadline is fast approaching. It's the weekend, but you called an emergency study session to start working out the fine details of the presentation.

"I get away with a lot," you reply. "My mom works for the school board so I'm basically invincible."

Yuta is pretty sure that he has finally met someone more emo than he is. Despite the leveling out of his relationship with you, you still give the entire school the cold shoulder, and aside from the project, the rest of your work remains untouched. You're reading manga in class now, having replaced your giant hardcovers with smaller volumes. Yuta doesn't know you well enough to know that you only read manga when you're doing poorly.

You take it to a whole other level, though, with all your frowning and the dark clothing. But today is different. You're on the bed lying on your stomach, wearing a blue tank top with your hair pulled back, kicking your feet while propping your chin on curled hands. You're more talkative than usual, and you seem relaxed as a warm breeze musses up your bangs.

"I did them myself," you say after a few moments. "All you need is a sewing needle and some rubbing alcohol."

You can google this, but when some people are depressed, their pain tolerance increases. Some meds can affect it too."

Yuta could only stare. "Right."

You always seemed to know so much about medicine and the body. Despite the lack of work ethic you exuded, you seemed really into the anatomy chapter in class. Since he'd started spending more time with you, he'd learned that you had a true affinity for science. You liked knowing how things work, how A relates to B so you could understand it better.

"Would you do one for me?" he asks.

You visibly hesitate, but your expression is a concerned one. "Are you sure? It hurts like a motherfucker, Yuta."

He nods. "Yeah, I think I want my left ear. Stop looking at me like that."

Your giggles fill the room, and it's the sweetest sound ever to grace his ears even if it's at his expense. "I'm tougher than I look," he says indignantly, smiling widely.

The work has been abandoned. You scramble from atop the covers and quickly murmur your destination before bouncing out of the room. You return a minute later with a sewing box, a red wash rag, and a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

"Come to the bed," you instruct him. He does, accidentally disturbing a napping Momo when he lowers himself down. You set the sewing box and rag down on the desk right on top of the script the two of you'd been half-assing for the last hour. He watches as you soak a bit of the rag with rubbing alcohol and turn around to face him.

There will be blood," you say seriously.. "Red so it doesn't stain, or my mom will bitch at me."

Yuta leans back on his palms as you stand to his side and reach up to hold his earlobe so you can disinfect it. The scent of the alcohol burns his nose a little, but part of him likes it. You hold him by the chin with one hand and rub small circles over his earlobe with the other. He watches you as you work and realizes that he likes seeing you in your element. Your brows are drawn in concentration, but your hands are steady.

You pull back, dropping your hand from his chin and your eyes meet his. "You ready?"

Yuta nods, trusting you fully not to hurt him more than necessary. You turn to reveal a sewing needle and the red rag from before. You place the rag in his hand before moving to situate yourself in front of him. He's waiting for you to go for the same position, but you're hesitating, biting your lip and you pinch the needle between two fingers.

"Uh, sorry," you say, and he thinks it's the first time he's even seen you act even a little flustered. You stand just to his left side, the outside of your knee brushing against his ribs and you're holding his chin again. Yuta's heart rate jumps at the contact.

"Want me to count?"

He shakes his head and squeezes a squishmallow in his fist. And then you're putting the needle in and he sucks in a breath. He makes a mental note to apologize to the plushie later because right now he's damn near destroying it.

"You feel okay?" you ask. Your voice is serious, concerned yet steady.

It stings, it burns, a fucking needle just went through his flesh, but the pain seems somehow faraway now. Your face is just a few inches away from his, and you're so close that he can smell the traces of hemp cigarettes on your breath. He is aware that blood soaking the wash rag you're holding against his neck, but he's too lost in your gaze to care as he answers breathlessly, "hardly felt it."

Your half-lidded eyes flick down to his lips. His heart hammers against his chest and he can see your pulse jumping on your neck. And he's reaching for you, acting more on instinct than rational thought. He thinks of sliding his thumb across the expanse of your jawline, of tucking a stray hair behind your ear. Blood roars in his ears and he lets his eyes flutter closed as you lean in, and his nose just barely brushes yours-

Then your phone is ringing, shrill and annoyingly intrusive, and you jump backward as you both flinch. Yuta feels hot, his shirt suddenly too thick and the room suddenly too small. He takes over holding the rag as you answer the call, getting up to go into the hallway.

Yuta's mind is reeling. He'd almost just kissed you...WHY DIDN'T HE JUST DO IT? He's cursing himself, cursing the cowardice that seems to be his default setting. What would've happened if your stupid phone hadn't started ringing?

And his thoughts are cut off when you burst back into the room and start cleaning up the papers strewn about your desk. Yuta notices the frown marring your face, any trace of your excitement having disappeared.

"My mom's gonna be home in like five minutes, so you gotta go," you say quickly. "Like now. Or she's gonna ground me."

"What about my ear?" he asks, rising to his feet. It's so painful and he's wondering how in the fuck you truly tolerated doing this to yourself.

You groan. "Yuta, I'm sorry, but you have to go. I'll text you what to do with your ear later."

And so he gathers his things, bids Momo farewell, and walks himself home with a bloody rag and a confused spirit.

Nothing like that happens again. You don't bring it up, and he takes it as a message to do the same. Even still, his mind will wander to the feeling of the tip of your nose touching his, and he often wonders if he'll ever get the chance to touch you again. *** A few weeks later, the project is nearing completion, and Yuta can't deny that the final draft is coming together well. He has spent every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon at your house while Momo oversees production and the two of you share snacks. He's learned that you prefer fruity flavors over milky ones and that you can devour an entire bag of seaweed snacks in ten minutes. It amuses him deeply, especially in comparison to the darkness you exude on a normal basis.

He's also learned that you love cats, and you sleep with three squishmallows every night. You have a green thumb when it comes to houseplants, and you paint every pot yourself. So, Monday night he asks his mother to get an extra bag of seaweed snacks so he can bring it to you the next day as a surprise.

But when Yuta arrives to the classroom that morning, you're not sitting in your unassigned-assigned seat. You beat him there almost every day now that he's doing library duty with Yuji, so he shrugs it off until it's well past roll call and you're still not there. At the next break, he shoots a text asking where you are, feeling awfully lonely without the usual annoyed glares sent from his left side.

Lunch comes and he's anxious when he looks at his phone to see there's been no reply. His thumbs hover over the screen as he debates whether to send another text, knowing it will annoy you, but his curiosity threatens to win the battle. Yuta glances up to see Yuji holding out a small handful of multicolored rock candy.

"I hate these," Yuji says, making a face. "You want it?"

Yuta blinks at him. “Uh, no, thank you.”

The other boy groans before tossing them right into his backpack, surely now gone forever. Yuta cringes a little, suddenly wondering what other…treasures might linger at the bottom of Yuji’s bag. But then his phone is buzzing in his hands and Yuta’s heart rate jumps thirtyfold. And it’s you (you’re alive!), and the excitement he gets from the three words you’ve sent is embarrassing, but he doesn’t care.

>the doctor >why

<you missed a quiz.

>idc

A smile tugs at Yuta's lips. Of course you don't. His fingers fly over the keypad as he types out the question that's been burning in his mind all day.

<am I still good to come over?

And you're quick to reply, making him wonder what was taking you so long before.

>u might get there before me but there's a key under the cat statue

Yuta is triumphant throughout the rest of the day. It's around 4:15 by the time he makes it to your front door, buzzing from how excited he is to deliver the bag of seaweed snacks. He glances around the porch, searching for the statue that looks like Momo to retrieve the alleged spare key.

The door is unlocked, so he concludes that you are home after all. He quickly returns to the key to its holder and closes the door behind him. It's dark inside, all the curtains drawn and the lights shut off. Momo is not there to greet him, and you are nowhere to be found. Yuta calls out your name in question.

There's a trilling sound as Momo descends the stairs and pads over to him, weaving in and out from between his shins. Yuta bends to give her some pets, but she darts away toward the stairs once more. She looks back at him before running up, tail flicking back and forth as she meows, and then it clicks.

"Oh!" he says. "Lead the way, ma'am, by all means."

So he follows, and as he reaches the top of the stairs he hears the sound of running water.

It's deja vu. He's seen this film before and is currently living in the end credits waiting for another scene that will never come. Is this the sequel? The parallels are so uncannily similar that it has to be a joke. It's a prank- it has to be. Your name tears from his mouth as he tries the doorknob knowing that it will be locked. And as predicted, it doesn't budge, so he knocks once, twice, three times, but there's no answer.

"Yuta, stop!" you say from the other side. Even from those two words, he can hear the distress in your voice. He feels desperate, shaky, and he knows he has to get you to open the door before you do something stupid. The words tear from his lungs,

"I will break this fucking door down if you don't open it right now!"

The water stops running. The only sound is Momo scratching at the door, trying just as desperately to get you to stop.

And it's you, and the sight makes his blood run cold. There are so many horizontal marks on your arms, and there's blood seeping from each one. Yuta is acting purely on instinct as he surges toward you.

He grips your forearms uncaring of the blood that's going to stain his skin. You're hyperventilating, hot salty tears streaming down your face as Yuta tries to get you to look at him. You're rasping something shakily over and over, and he's trying to get you to speak up so he can hear properly.

"Talk to me," he says gently. "It's okay."

He reaches to grab the washcloth hanging by the sink to press them to your cuts, but before the fabric makes contact, you burst into tears once more and shake your head frantically.

"No!" you cry. "Get the red ones from under the sink."

And it clicks for him then. This was not an isolated event, evident by the tall stack of red washrags and how you'd been so dead set on using one when you pierced his ear. You rarely wore short sleeves even when it had been so hot lately. He remembers grabbing you in the hallway at school and how you'd clutched at your arm then.

He holds one rag to each of your arms and instructs you to keep them there. On the bathroom counter is an assortment of pill bottles, each of which had your name printed on them with your date of birth. Drugs like fluoxetine, alprazolam, and lithium, all of which are ones he's been on himself over the years. A certain numbness flows through him as he detaches himself from the situation.

How close of a call was it? How long had you been planning? What triggered you? When? You've left him speechless, completely stupefied because of course, he should've seen the signs.

"Unlock your phone for me," he says calmly, handing the device to you. You comply. He scrolls through your contacts until he finds your mother's and instantly he taps the call button.

"Hello?"

It's a woman's voice, an unfamiliar one. Yuta keeps it brief, not wanting to upset you further by going into detail and acting like you aren't in the room.

"Yes, I'm staying with her until you get here. We're in the upstairs bathroom."

Yuta does not raise his voice. He does not scream, does not yell. He only regards you with sadness in his eyes as his fingers wrap around yours clutching the bottle.

"Yuta, why?" you wail.

It breaks his heart. It shatters his soul in a way that he knows is going to affect him longer after this moment, but he has to do it. Yuta tilts his wrist and lets the pills fall into the toilet until the rattling stops and the bottle is empty. There are tears streaming down your face and your eyes are wide with something that chills his blood as he glimpses you.

"I can't let you," Yuta says in a calm voice. His throat feels tight, like he might scream or burst into tears any moment, but he wills himself to remain composed for your sake. He cannot break when you need him so dearly.

You're sobbing as the words tumble from your mouth while you sink to your knees. "You don't understand..."

And Yuta's kneeling before you, resting both of his hands on either of your shoulders to pull you into him. You let him wrap his arms around your shaking body and he lets you weep. It's uncontrollable, it's animalistic, it's desperate and the sadness infects Yuta's heart. 17 years of pain, trauma, and too-heavy crosses fill his ears and poison his soul.

The two of you stay like that until your mother arrives several minutes later. Yuta hears the garage door open through the bathroom floor. You're still clinging to him, your sobs having turned into soft yet consistent cries and sniffles. He hears the jingle of keys and a set of footsteps that fly up the staircase until a woman stands in the way of the bathroom door.

You look like her, Yuta thinks. Your mother's tired eyes meet his and she thanks him. Yuta gently guides you to sit on the edge of the bathtub, feeling awkward to touch you so intimately in front of your mother. Your face is a mess, red and puffy with an empty expression that squeezes painfully at Yuta's heart.

"Yuta..." you say, gazing at his face sadly.

He knows it's his cue to leave, but his feet are rooted in place beneath the weight of your presence. He doesn't want to leave you. He thinks of the cries that ripped from your throat just moments ago, knowing that he will hear them in his dreams now. But it's not his place to rescue you. You'd said so yourself- you're not his girlfriend. So he squeezes your arm, keeping his eyes downcast, before rising to his feet and ducking out of the bathroom door.

Walking home is torture and sleep does not come that night. Nor the following, because his mind is devoted to replaying. And he goes to school that Monday half-awake and swaying as he stands in the breakfast line with Yuji. He sees your tear-stained face and empty eyes, the despair riddling your voice.

And he's heard nothing from you. No one at school asks about you, not even the teachers who see the empty seat that no one will take because it's yours. They see the dark circles painting his undereye, yet there is no mention of your name. He is so clearly on the edge of falling apart, but the world moves on around him despite claiming to care.

One week after that Monday, Yuta goes to the records clerk in the administration building during his lunch period. He asks for your emergency contact by name after briefly explaining your episode. The clerk agrees to give him your mother's phone number after insisting that he's your cousin. And those digits are gold to him, more precious than any gemstone money can buy.

"She's been admitted to a psychiatric facility," your mother explains. "We've pulled her out of school for now. Just want to give her time to get better, you know?"

All Yuta can see is you dressed in a hoodie with no strings and pants with no zippers as you trudge silently through hospital hallways. Your face devoid of all emotion, numb to the world as you recover from your dance with death.

Your mother said it's what you wanted, so Yuta had no choice but to let it go. So that following Monday, he goes to school. Not one person mentioned your name in passing, nor did they ask him about you.

But days turn into weeks, and months into years, and Yuta never saw you. Texts go ignored and every social media account you'd had was deleted. Selfishly, he feels that you've abandoned him, as desperately as he tries not to blame you in any way.

He walks by your house one afternoon to see a moving truck parked in the driveway as strangers, not you or Momo, march in and out of the front door. The cat statue on your porch isn't there, and Yuta's heart sinks to the ground. You're gone.

[pseudowho]

i hope you and the family are doing well!!

i was wondering if i could ask your advice on how to find and capture a nanami husband in real life.

what is their natural habitat? are they easily lured in with a propped-up box with freshly baked artisan loaves with kerrygold butter underneath? a hot cup of coffee too, perhaps?

Hi! It's a rough week, but we're doing okay.

I don't want to act like an expert, mine was purely accidental. I'm still not sure what I did to lure him in.

I just went for the quiet, angry-looking metalhead with a secret heart full of poetry. He certainly has his flaws, but he's got a great track record of trying to be better. I think what I can advise is:

Have high standards for yourself and maintain them. Your partner should be your equal/equitable in what they give in life. If you're not being supported emotionally, with household chores, etc etc etc then speak up loudly and aggressively to defend your rights. Similarly, listen if they defend their rights. KNOW YOUR RIGHTS WELL.

Get someone who hears you say what you need and instantly responds. Someone who hears you say they can do better and instantly tries to. Someone who wants to be better for you will grow and grow and grow.

Baking worked for me. If I give Mr.Haitch baked goods, I'm not sure what's going to get eaten first: me or the baked goods.

Introversion is not a flaw.

I like the quiet ones.

Go for the kind of man who laughs at other men calling themselves "Alphas", and who is laughed at by "Alpha" men for being "weak". It generally means they're sensitive to others' needs and aware of how they're feeling emotionally, which is an exceptional sign of empathy, that toxic masculinity looks down on in men.

Ultimately stick up for yourself. Don't convince yourself that you don't deserve better or can't do better and settle for someone who doesn't give you their all.

Go forth, lovely one!

-- Haitch xxx

[arvandus]

Hello hello, I know you're not really talking about him recently but truthfully i feel like you understand Dabi's personality the most. So i wanted to ask what MBTI you think he relates to the most?

So, as per usual, the weekend was a bit busy with IRL stuff. But now I'm finally able to answer this!

First off, thank you SO MUCH, it really means a lot to me that you feel I understand him the most. That's very high praise because there are some truly amazing writers and meta-analyzers on here that also have amazing takes on Dabi and his personality.

Also, PLEASE talk to me about Dabi! I still love him so so much, I'll never get tired of answering asks about him, truly. I know I haven't written for him recently, but I don't love him any less.

Okay, back to your question...

So I've looked at this a few different ways... First, I went through and took the personality test as "Dabi"; i.e., I answered the questions the way that I think HE would answer them (this is different from how others may perceive him, btw). I used the test on www.16personalities.com, and the result that I ("Dabi") got was INTP, i.e., the Logician. I also looked at what was listed for him under the personality database website, which was ISFP, the Adventurer. Finally, I simply read up on what each of the categories were on Wikipedia, and thought about it. From what I understand and through my observations of him, I would label him as INFP, the Mediator.

Below the cut I'll show the personality test results, and discuss them by comparing them to the other results. Beware though, both anime and manga spoilers will be present because I use some specific examples to explain the results.

So, from the 16personalities test, here is what Dabi got:

Here's the rest of the descriptors for INTP-T:

I think for the most part this is accurate for him, at least for how he perceives himself. But I think there are going to be some key differences between how he sees himself and how we, as observers, see him.

Let's start...

Introversion:

We definitely can't deny that he's introverted, and that's clear across all three personality types that were assigned to him. He's never meshed well with others, especially on first meetings, thanks to his abrasive personality and very thick walls. This introvertedness may not seem as obvious when one thinks about how badly he wants the attention of his family, and his willingness to go public with his past, etc. But think of those moments... of him recording himself, of him dancing in front of Enji as he revealed himself... think of those things as a performance. Think introverted theater kid. And even then, it wasn't exactly for the purpose of the public's attention, but for his father's attention. His broadcast? Pre-recorded, not live. His face-off with his dad? He didn't give a shit that others were there and watching; his focus narrowed like a singularity; it was only him and his father in that moment.

Another helpful thing to keep in mind is that Introversion doesn't mean you don't want to be around others; it just means that you recharge best when you are by yourself. Dabi still definitely wants to be seen by his loved ones, but I think he is naturally an introverted person in that isolation is something he enjoys as a way to rest and rejuvenate himself. I see him finding most people exhausting to be around.

Intuitive:

This was the one of the portions that differed from his MBTI on the personality database, and I actually agree with the test result more. I see Sensing/Observation as "the scientist" and Intuition as "the philosopher," and I definitely feel that Dabi is more Philosopher than Scientist. Whereas Sensing/Observation is more literal, in the now, and taking things at face value, Intuition is not. That's not to say that Dabi doesn't observe; he absolutely does. But he does so through the lens of his ideals and how all of these individual pieces fit together into his belief system.

Wikipedia describes Intuitive as "imagining the possibilities of how things could be; notice the big picture, see how everything connects; enjoy ideas and concepts for their own sake, and likes to describe things in a figurative, poetic way." While I don't necessarily see him as figurative or poetic, I do think he's a bit of an idealist. He's someone who looks at the bigger picture, who's able to extrapolate a lot of information through observation, more so than what's immediately in front of him. He's a bit of a creative genius in that way, and it's shown by how quickly he was able to develop his quirk through watching his father's battles, and later with his brother, with practically zero practice. Additionally, he's a dreamer, always wanting more for himself, even when he was young, which was why his inability to meet his father's standards was such a huge blow to him. He could see the big picture of heroism and what it meant to society, his family, and to his father (and by proxy to himself) and to not be able to see himself as a part of that picture was incredibly damaging for him. Now, this intuition isn't necessarily something he's utilized for positive gains, at least not positive for others; his focus is very selfish/self-centered in this regard. But he's still able to idealize, imagine, and extrapolate. I also think he'd enjoy deep conversations about morals and hypotheticals, and enjoy playing devil's advocate quite often. He never takes things at face-value, always looking at what's underneath.

Thinking:

This was an interesting one, and the one that I think I wouldn't exactly agree with as an observer of his character. BUT, I think Dabi would believe that he's more thinking than feeling. We know that he's incredibly ruled by his emotions in his decision-making; and I think he embraces those emotions a bit more openly once his big reveal finally happens and he's able to fully pursue his conflict with his father (and by proxy his brother). But, I think Dabi fancies himself as someone who thinks 'logically,' who is smart and isn't swayed by the hearts of others. We see this in how he keeps others at arm's length; at how he keeps a level head during the summer training camp arc, etc. But, at the same time, later on, we see more of his vulnerable side. His strangely kind gesture and words towards Toga was spurred by his care for her. His reaction to Twice's death heavily impacted how he battled Hawks. And of course, we see how emotional he really is with regards to his family.

Now granted, he would most definitely put a 'logical' decision that will get him the result he wants over someone else's feelings, in most cases. When it gets down to it, his feelings will take priority over others' feelings, 9 times out of 10. But that doesn't mean he's a Thinking type; that just means he's selfish, and that if anyone's feelings are going to be listened to, it'll be his own. This doesn't surprise me considering his history of being emotionally neglected, let alone all of the other things that happened to him. Typically, a Feeling type would have a strong sense of altruism for others because they can easier empathize with them... and I think a part of him does empathize with his league comrades, which was why he behaved the way he did with Twice and Toga. But I think overall for Dabi, his Feeling is turned more inward, as he's empathizing with himself. It's a form of self-preservation, a way for him to protect his damaged ego. It clouds his judgment in the sense that he thinks he's not emotional because he's not easily moved by others; and yet, he's very emotionally moved by himself and his own pain.

Perceiving/Prospecting:

This, along with introversion, was consistent across the board of all three methods I used to analyze Dabi. The definition alone from the test describes Dabi to a T; good at improvising and adapting; flexible noncomformist, valuing novelty over stability. Need I say more? Also, Wikipedia describes it as: prefer to leave your options open; see rules and deadlines as flexible; like to improvise; spontaneous...

By contrast, Judging is much more rigid/structured, which doesn't really fit Dabi at all. Judging is all about planning, organizing, staying on task and meeting deadlines... I think Dabi is far too ADHD for that (Shh, I'm not projecting, I swear!).

Just think of it this way: if Dabi had the perfect upbringing and never became a villain, what kind of job would you picture him having? Would he have a desk job, pushing papers and sitting through meetings, doing the 8-5 grind? Or would he have something a little more spontaneous, more flexible, something that would mentally (and likely physically) engage him?

I rest my case.

So, I'd say that there are two answers to your question. If you're really looking at what would Dabi identify himself as, I would say the test would be the most accurate: INTP. (he'd also really like the title of the Logician; it would totally stroke his ego!).

BUT, if you're looking for more what his "true" personality would be, I would say INFP.

Now, the irony of this is that I'm an INFP. Actually, I used to be an INFJ, and that's what I thought I was while writing most of this up. I retook the test earlier today because I was curious if my results had changed at all over the past few years, and apparently they did, and it just so happens to align with what I was assigning Dabi. This could either mean that me assigning INFP to Dabi is due to implicit bias, as I see a lot of myself in him and vice versa, and it's possible that the two have gotten muddled a bit. Alternatively, it could also mean that I'm able to write him so clearly because I understand his character and his personality in a very, well... personal way.

Anyway, I hope that helps! Let me know what you think and which MBTI type you think fits him best! 💕

[aspoonofsugar]

Akane + Kana = Blue (Shadow) + Red (Light)

Here come 2 great girls and 2 great characters! Akane Kurokawa and Kana Arima are Aqua's 2 love interests, but more than that they are key for the story and themes of Oshi No Ko.

SHADOW AND LIGHT

Akane and Kana are linked to 2 opposite ideas:

Akane is a person who accepts others' shadows

Kana is a person who gives others hope and light

Akane is the most perceptive character in the manga. She is incredibly sensitive to the people around her and able to guess their secrets from little details. For example, she infers Ai's personal life by looking at some records. Not only that, but people feel they can trust Akane and share with her intimate information. This is true for both Aqua and Ruby:

Both siblings tell Akane a part of their previous selves' story. Akane doesn't ask for it, but listens to them. She is so accepting, she is even ready to compromise her morality for others:

She looks straight at people's darkness and doesn't flinch. She welcomes the shadow.

Kana is strongly associated with light:

The acting who makes her famous as a child is her ability to shine on the stage. Not only that, but she chooses white as her idol color and sings about becoming a full moon. She brings light into the night and helps others shine. So, she fittingly becomes a beacon of hope for both twins:

Aqua is drawn to Kana's cheerful and strong personality and wants to see more of it. Ruby wants to help Kana, even when she is going through her DarkRuby phase. For a moment, her friendship with Kana brings back Ruby's inner light.

So, Akane is so empathic she accepts people's flaws, while Kana is so cheerful she brings joy to people. Still, their juxtaposition doesn't stop at what they represent for others.

BLUE AND RED

Akane and Kana have opposite color schemes. Akane is blue and Kana is red. Blue and red are complementary colors and they are generally associated with different ideas:

blue is mind, shyness and introversion

red is heart, impulsiveness and extroversion

These personality traits fit Akane and Kana and their acting methods:

Akane studies alone and immers herself into the script. She looks inside:

Her acting is understanding the characters.

Kana reacts to the people around her and matches their performance. She looks outside:

Her acting is interpersonal relationships.

Akane is introspective and focuses on the characters (blue). Kana instead is reactive and focuses on the actors (red). That said, the 2 actresses' color juxtaposition hides an additional meaning:

Ai is purple, which is the combination of blue and red. Similarly, Akane and Kana (just like the twins) are 2 sides of Ai. Still, who is Ai?

I have never been loved by anyone Nor have I loved anyone else

Ai is a person who has never loved nor has ever been loved.

TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED

To love and to be loved are the 2 sides of Ai (love). Akane and Kana too explore these 2 concepts.

Akane is surrounded by people who love her. Her parents genuinelly want her to be happy and they support her career and relationships. The same goes for her manager. Still, when Akane gets cyber-bullied, she struggles to call for help. Not only that, but later on she states she is not sure she loves Aqua:

In short, Akane has trouble understanding relationships and approaches them in the most complicated way possible. She admires Kana and wants for her to shine again. Instead of conveying her feelings properly, though, she starts a rivalry. She wishes to help Aqua and to build a relationship with him. Still, she both lies and silently accepts Aqua's lies.

Kana is instead very upfront with her feelings, but she ignores people's darkest sides, which makes her easy to manipulate. After all, Kana often gives in to others' requests, even if it is not what she wants. This tendency stems from trauma:

As a small child, Kana is abandoned by the adults around her because she stops being an asset. Both her mother and manager ditch her and nobody gives her work anymore. As a result, Kana becomes a push-over in the hope of being accepted.

So, both Akane and Kana have self-issues which prevent them from developing healthy relationships. Akane doesn't know how to love, while Kana fears to be unloved. These 2 complexes make so that Ai gets sometimes reborn in the 2 girls:

Akane is actress Ai, the genius performer, who lies to both others and herself

Kana is idol Ai, the girl, who shines brightly in her genuine search for love

Akane and Kana's similarity with Ai is why Aqua feels drawn to both in different ways. He projects his mother on his 2 love interests. However, Akane and Kana are not Ai, but their own people. So, their arcs break this dychotomy between them and show that they are 2 girls growing up. Not only that, but they are deep down very alike.

AKANE = BLUE + RED

Akane is associated with blue (blue hair and eyes), but her name means red. Why is there this contradiction? A possible answer is that Akane is strongly disconnected from herself. Or to better say, Akane has no idea of who she is. This is precisely why she struggles so much throughout her introductory arc.

True Love is a reality show, where the participants have to play themselves and flirt with others. For example, Yuki uses her true feelings as an inspiration for her performance. However, Akane can't do the same because she is confused by romance and lacks a personality of her own. This is why she is a genius actress. She forgets herself and becomes someone else. It is Akane's modus operandi and she eventually uses it also in True Love. And who does she become?

She plays Aqua's ideal girl. Not only that, but she keeps on this role throughout time, as she becomes more involved in Aqua's revenge plot:

Akane knows Aqua is not in love with her. Still, she decides it is fine to be used, as long as she is aware of it. Later on, she realizes Aqua has feelings for Kana, but accepts them in exchange of his honesty. Akane believes that with time her bond with Aqua will become the real thing. However, she is wrong, as a lie stays a lie:

In the end, neither Aqua nor Akane are honest with each other. Aqua violates Akane's privacy and Akane keeps silent about Aqua's father. She decides to solve things by herself, just like she did with the cyber-bullying. Akane is full of people who love her, but she refuses to depend on them. She tries to deal with everything alone and puts her life in danger:

She is very much like Aqua in this, which is why the moment they come clear they break-up. Akane and Aqua genuinely care for each other. However, they can't have a proper relationship because they choose to lie and to self-sacrifice.

Akane gives up her whole sense of self to properly play the part of Ai. Still, she isn't Ai and her break-up with Aqua is the perfect chance to realize it. Right now, she is determined to save Aqua by herself. She still believes she can be Aqua's perfect girl, one way or another. However, she is wrong. She can't and shouldn't save Aqua alone. She should open up to others and ask for help. In this way, she can finally break character and show her genuine self. She can embrace her inner red.

KANA = LIGHT + SHADOW

Kana is linked to light, but she is currently stuck in shadows both in her career and in her personal relationships. This is made clear since her introductory arc.

Sweet Today is a low budget production whose real goal isn't to tell a good story, but rather to advertise models. Kana is chosen because of her good personality and fame. She sees this as an opportunity and a sign of appreciation. However, the producer's words reveal she is being taken advantage of. Nobody cares about her second chance in the enterteinment world, but they only use her because she is convenient. Not only that, but Kana is forced to match the other cast members' level of acting. The result is that she hides her real self.

Luckily, Aqua is there for Kana and eventually she is able to shine a little:

This is a recurring dynamic between Kana and Aqua. Kana tries to hide her real talent for the sake of harmony on the stage. However, Aqua takes care of things, so that Kana can shine:

In short, Aqua is a healing presence in Kana's life. She feels invisible and unwanted to the point she is ready to do anything for some care and appreciation. However, Aqua gives her selfless support:

Still, Kana herself is unaware of Aqua's shadows:

She has known him for a long time, but knows nothing of his revenge plan, his past as Gorou and his manipulative streak. It is telling that when Aqua masks as Piyo Kana is unable to see through the mask. She can't because she doesn't know who the real Aqua is.

Here it comes a contradiction in Kana's arc. Among all the characters, she is the one mostly linked to truth:

She is so honest she makes her feelings for Aqua clear five minutes after meeting him. She even ends up confessing her crush on a stranger out of loyalty towards Aqua and her own emotions. Not to mention that it is to protect her that Aqua reveals the truth about Ai. And yet, she is kept in the dark of others' machinations. She is oblivious to her friends' struggles and seems not to notice their strange behaviours.

So, her arc should really be about overcoming this flaw. If Kana wants to shine, she needs to experience shadows. If she wants to have healthy bonds with others, she needs to discover and accept their darkness. She is slowly going through this process.

As a child, she shines, but is self-centered. When she grows up, she painfully realizes she has to value others more and becomes much more selfless. However, at the beginning of the series, she is being consumed by this approach and is helped by others to re-discover her selfish self a little bit more. She realizes she is beautiful when she steals everyone's attention and that her brutal honesty can help people grow.

Right now, she needs to reconcile her caring personality with her personal need to shine. Her trust in people with the knowledge even her loved ones can make mistakes. In short, she must find a way to shine, while helping others to shine too:

She doesn't have to sacrifice herself to be accepted, but at the same time Kana herself is at her happiest when all the actors play together to the utmost of their abilities. She must be the sun who selflessly makes others shine.

AKANE AND KANA'S ENDINGS

So, what will be the conclusion of Akane and Kana's stories? So far, it is too soon to say, but some hypothesis can be made.

First thing first, let's address the elephant in the room. I think Akane, Kana and Aqua's love triangle will resolve in Kana's favor. Imo the story has been very clear about it.

Aqua's reaction to Akane and Kana is opposite:

He involves himself with Akane to pursue his revenge and he is drawn to her because she resembles Ai

He stays away from Kana because of his revenge and his fear Kana is gonna end up targeted like Ai

In short, Aqua projects on both girls with different results. He projects on Akane his wishes and on Kana his fears. So, it makes sense that by the end he lets go of Ai's ideal (he says goodbye to Akane) and overcomes his fears (he acts on his feelings for Kana).

Of course, recently, there has been a shift in this dynamic. Aqua has in fact broken his bond with Akane to protect her, while he has started a manipulative relationship with Kana. Still, this inversion is due to the story entering its climax. It is in fact necessary to challenge all the characters.

Structurally, Akane and Kana do not have the same focus. Akane's storyline serves Aqua and Kana beautifully. She supports their arcs, while developing herself. Kana instead is the tritragonist of the manga. A lot of focus is given to her feelings and career each arc. Moreover, these plotlines have nothing to do with the main conflict, which means Kana is basically having her own story. Still, obviously Kana's story and the main plot are meant to become one in the climax. So, she is meant to have a big role in Aqua's arc.

Finally, a conclusion where Aqua and Kana are together fits both girls' individual arcs.

Akane should stop imitating others and discover who she is. For her to succeed she should go back to what she originally desired:

Akane's true desire is a genuine connection. She starts acting not because she thinks it is cool, but because she wants to become friends with Kana. However, Akane's strategy to grow closer to others is to change herself and become an ideal:

She wants to win Kana's friendship by becoming like her. And yet, this backfires as Kana is already struggling with people discarding her to favor other children. Surely, a girl who imitates her is not the kind of friend Kana wants by that point. Interestingly, Akane is mature enough to figure this out and doesn't really resent Kana for it. To the contrary, she deep down wants Kana to go back to shine, but her attempts to inspire Kana do not work. So, what can Akane do to grow close to Kana and help her shine?

Maybe Akane simply has to tell Kana the truth about Aqua. She could let go of her stubborness and open up to another person. After all, the only way to forge bonds is to show who you are and hope the other will accept you.

Such a resolution on Akane's part would help Kana. Kana's problem is that she ignores everyone's shadows. She can't hope to help her loved ones if she has no idea of who they are. Kana's test will be to accept Aqua's darkest part and to keep on loving him.

She will 100% succeed. Kana is great at pursuing what she loves, even when it's not perfect. She is the character who has been a part of the enterteinment world the longest. She has been broken and let down many times. However, she still loves acting and the people she meets in her job. She may not be a genius anymore, but she is a strong, dependable and flexible actress. She likes the enterteinment world despite its flaws and will keep on loving the twins and Akane.

This is why Kana is the brightest star:

She has more passion and attachment to life than everyone else.

[blookitty]

Hair of the Dog

Commission from the amazing @lacteaway of werewolf Ted Raimi.

Wrote a ficlet for it below, and would love it if you gave it a read! (It will only be on here so I don't get hate on AO3 for RPF)

Ted firmly shut the garage door behind him, and on the work week, releasing a heavy sigh of relief.

Finally! Back home! He thought as he stretched without thinking.

It was a successful producers’ meeting, and they had gotten a lot done. But his introversion could only take so much social interaction, no matter how positive, and his new bottle of moonshine was calling his name ever so sweetly and enticingly.

He slipped off his navy sports jacket as he walked down the short corridor leading toward his foyer. He wasn’t a neat freak in the slightest, but he preferred to keep his nice clothes, well, nice. So he carefully hung his jacket on the newel of his staircase before continuing on to his liquor cabinet in his living room, loosening his tie as he walked. His black, gum sole Chucks squeaked as they scuffed the hardwood floors.

Pulling the chain on the small lamp as he passed it, the room instantly glowed with warm light, illuminating the cozy, albeit stuffy, room. He opened the curtains while he was at it to let in the remaining light of the setting sun. It looked like it would be a cloudless night. With the window cracked slightly, it would make for perfect evening reading vibes, so he did just that; the scarcely used window screeched a bit as he tugged the pane upward by about a foot.

Oddly enough, even though he was just outside a mere hour ago, the whiff of fresh air sent an unusual spike of energy through him, giving him shivers and goosebumps. Must be chillier than he thought. But if anything, he felt warmer instead of colder.

He shrugged it off and decided to roll up the sleeves of his button-up shirt. Glancing at his arm, he noticed the bite wound he had gotten from that one shaggy shelter dog was nearly healed. At first, he was worried he would contract rabies or some other kind of severe illness. But his doctor had merely given him some antibiotics and a pat on the back, then sent him on his way.

Finally reaching his destination, he knelt down and pulled out what he was originally after: an unopened bottle of moonshine he got from a fan at a Tennessee horror convention. The distillery had cleverly named it ‘Hair of the Dog’, with a howling wolf silhouette on the label. The fan said it reminded them of that game he starred in a few years back, and knew he liked trying unique alcohol.

Opening the bottle and giving it a whiff, he could tell it was going to be a good one. He carefully poured a small splash (as he didn’t want to ingest too much on an empty stomach) into one of his crystal glasses that he kept on the cabinet counter for such occasions as these. He gripped the glass firmly and returned to the other side of the room where his lamp was with it and the bottle it came from.

Oh! One last touch!

He placed the glass and bottle down and went to his vinyl player. Sifting through his collection, he went with some classic jazz music, particularly the melodies of Benny Goodman. Placing the record on the table and placing the needle, “Moonglow” came wafting from the small attached speaker.

With that last task done, he took a big sip from his glass, and moaned pleasurably as he settled into his favorite reading chair; he could feel the warmth go through his stomach and down to his toes. A good drink, a good book, and pleasant weather. It couldn’t be more perfect!

Except…

No matter how much he squirmed, he couldn’t get comfortable. Even taking more sips of his strong alcohol wasn’t helping. His skin felt tight and itchy, and he had started to sweat profusely. Yeah, the drink warmed him a tad, but it shouldn’t be affecting him this bad! Maybe he was allergic to it? Or perhaps he was coming down with something after all? He had been around a lot of people lately.

Ted removed his tie and undid the top few buttons of his shirt and decided to wait a few more minutes to see if that helped. Trying to get reimmersed in the pleasing atmosphere he had painstakingly set up, he couldn’t ignore the tingling and swelling sensation he now felt in the fingertips of his right hand, throbbing with his increasing heart rate.

Putting his book down and bringing his hand up to get a closer look, his fingertips did indeed seem swollen. He stared at them confused, because in all of his years he’d never seen something like this happen to him. Especially this suddenly and out of nowhere. 

Turning his hand to look at the back of it though made his stomach plummet to his quickly warming feet.

His normally trimmed nails were now dark and slightly pointed; like he had gone to a nail salon and asked for the gothic teen girl treatment. As he gaped at what was befalling him, completely stunned, he could’ve sworn he saw the tips growing before his very eyes!

What the blue blazing Hell is in that drink?!

Growing quickly scared and paranoid, he smacked his glass of clear liquid to the floor which resulted in a piercing shatter, as if being near it would cause him even further harm. Because surely it had been laced with some kind of hallucinogenic substance. There was no way his fingertips were actually transmogrifying right now.

Yet he glanced down, and saw that there were now rips and scratches in the right arm of his chair! He even felt them to see if they were truly there, and he could tell the fabric was now torn. Now the same sensations were coming to his left hand! He turned the book around in his hand to look, and he was met with the same thing now happening to those tips, too. Apparently, he had even subconsciously ripped the book’s front cover.

This was becoming too much. He needed to get up and clear his head. Maybe even take a cold shower, because now his skull felt like it wanted to split in two. Ted groaned as he stood, sudden nausea and dizziness overtaking him. Because of this, he only made it a few steps before stumbling to his knees. His legs had instantly wobbled and given out from under him. Any attempt at rising again right now seemed impossible as his legs continued to quake uncontrollably. That didn’t stop him from trying to get his feet back under him as he moved to the balls of his feet.

But another cause of his tumble made itself apparent as his feet cramped, his toes pressing against the inside of his Converse. At first, just pinching, but then painful as his feet grew and grew so much that Ted thought his shoes would burst off. Looking over his shoulder, he watched as they practically did; his feet pried open the ends of his sneakers at the seams, his toenails a similar shape and color as his nails; shreds of his argyle socks hung tattered over the edges.

Damn it! Those were my favorite pair!

The room around him began to spin, adding to his nausea and delirium. Ted squeezed his eyes closed and tightly clenched his jaw to try to regain control of himself and recenter.

This is just a bad acid trip. That’s all. Just need to shut it out and focus.

However, he couldn’t keep his eyes shut for long before they started to burn with an intensity he had never felt before. Not even when he woke up from a night of drinking with his contacts still in. His teeth also started to ache, and he knew he wasn’t gritting them that hard. When he couldn’t take the pain any longer, he involuntarily yelped and his eyes sprang open.

But unlike it was just mere seconds ago, the room surrounding him was now in extremely muted colors. Just yellows, blues, and grays. Could he be having a stroke? Ted knew his rate of alcohol consumption was higher than most, and probably not healthy for someone his age. Yet even though there were less colors, everything seemed sharper in quality. He could even read the spines of the books on the shelves in the farthest dark corner of the room now. Plus, the room was no longer spinning.

Small mercies?

Thinking these two words seemed to challenge the universe though, because the pain he was feeling decided to ramp up exponentially and wrack his entire body. He cried out loudly, all of his muscles tensing and bringing him closer to the hardwood floor below him. Feeling like they were missing out, his teeth also joined in on the torture party as they felt as if they were all being simultaneously pulled out of his skull. His now unfathomably sharp nails pierced into the flooring as he reflexively clenched his fists. With the amount of agony he was now enduring, even thinking about standing up was completely out of the question.

Just to add to his newfound misery, his hearing suddenly started ringing loudly, encompassing all noise around him. Even his own screams. When the loud ringing stopped as abruptly as it had started, his ears felt like they were being pulled; like his third grade teacher punishing him for not listening. They also began to itch.

In fact, his whole body had begun to itch. All over, and with a fiercer ferocity than only a moment ago. His arms, his legs, his back and torso, they all felt like he had fire ants crawling and biting him over every square fucking inch. He instinctively tried to scratch his right arm without looking at it. But instead of finding temporary relief, he got a sharp sting. Flinching and wincing, he glanced downward yet again and saw a troubling sight…

Besides the four deep, bloody gouges in his forearm…he had fur!

Dark brown and silver fur was sprouting on both of his forearms. He stared completely dumbfounded as he watched it grow from coarse stubble to thick fuzz. If it was the source of the burning sensation he felt, then it was sprouting all over! And the way his nails were so long and sharp that they were curving, they definitely counted as claws now. The skin of his upper palms and fingertips had also darkened and swollen considerably in size, thick and rough, so that they looked like paw pads you’d see on a dog!

But how?! It was almost as if he was turning into a-

No, that’s impossible!

Despite his pure disbelief, he couldn’t stop himself from looking out his window at the now inky night sky; the curtains slightly billowing as if calling him hither. Shining like a lighthouse on a tumultuous sea, answering his query but filling him with sheer terror, was the full moon in all of its pearlescent glory.

What could have caused this?! The bite? The moonshine? Some kind of demented karma?

His mouth hung open agape in stunned awe, temporarily entranced by its hypnotic glow. But that wasn’t the only reason. It seemed that as his jaw ached, it had reshaped to the point that he could no longer close it, even if he’d wanted to; not to mention the now enormous size of the four teeth behind his canines, piercing into his gums as there was no room for them. No matter how he stretched and moved his lower jaw, it just wouldn’t sit flush without immense pain.

Speaking of pain, he had forgotten about the bone-deep aches coursing through him as he was flabbergasted at what was transpiring. But now things were shifting into high gear as it felt like someone was taking a jackhammer to his spine and pelvis. He couldn’t help but howl loudly in agony, noticing through it all that his voice had gotten much deeper; almost a whole octave.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on the perspective, his vinyl of Benny Goodman’s Greatest Hits was still playing throughout all of this; the upbeat, big band vibe of “Sing, Sing, Sing” acting as a strange juxtaposition to his current torment.

A sharp crack emanated from his lower back where his spine met his pelvis. Besides causing enough of a stabbing pain to make his whole body tingle and burn, it forced him to spasm so hard that he ended up crouching forward once again, his face inches from the floor; his thick, plush paw pads mercifully took the brunt of his fall.

His newfound position resulted in even more spine-tingling cracks making their way up his back, reforming it so that his vertebrae pressed against his button-up that still clung desperately to his body despite its now many rips and tears. Reaching his shoulders and sternum, the pops and cracks were jutting them both outward, making his shirt that much tighter. A glance downward showed his buttons beginning to strain.

Yet his spine wasn’t done just yet as the tingling and crackling returned to the base of his spine, right at his tailbone. An odd sensation registered in his brain; an immense pressure against the seat of his already suppressing navy chinos while some higher power yanked on his spine like pulling taffy.

RIP!

At the sound, Ted’s ears twitched; another unfamiliar sensation. The way the pressure suddenly dissipated, the rip must have been his chinos giving way. But to what? Craning his neck, he found it hard to turn it far enough now to see anything; like he was physically incapable of swiveling his head. Yet he still felt something brush against the back of his leg.

Unable to hold back his morbid curiosity any further, he looked down and upside-down through his arms and legs. There, twitching with a mind of its own and getting longer and longer by the second…

Was a tail!

He had a fucking tail now?!

If there was any remaining doubt in his brain that he was turning into a beast - a werewolf - it was eviscerated right then and there. His new appendage just kept slithering farther and farther out, swaying to and fro against his will. To top it off, he could see fur growing on it too. Within seconds, it had completely covered it, but was still getting longer and thicker.

The fire ant crawling sensation from earlier returned and was now creeping up his neck toward his face, reaching his jawline and instantly making it itchy and warm. The fur on his neck came in especially fast, crinkling with the speed it pushed out to a long and bushy length. So long that he could see it in the corners of his altered vision.

Like a wolf’s mane…

More ripping sounds came, this time from his feet as they continued to both lengthen and widen outward. His big toes shrank and withered into nothingness as the salt and pepper fur spread like wildfire over his swelling toes digits. They now reached past the soles, with the thickened skin on their undersides cushioning them; the black claws curling and scraping the wooden flooring. Ted watched in horror as his decades-old sneakers disintegrated from the girth of his now paws.

Before he could let what was unfolding cause him to panic further, Ted took a deep breath. He was a horror connoisseur, and he had read and watched many werewolf stories and movies in his time. Hell, he even starred in a game about werewolves. So he knew there was no stopping a transformation once it had started. But surely if he focused and tried hard enough, he could at least keep his mind intact.

Right?...

At that moment, his nose prickled and grew warm (and strangely moist) as a smell entered his nostrils that completely captivated him and halted all thought in his brain. He smelled steak! Juicy, savory, meat!

Like his tail (God he couldn’t get over that), his head turned toward the smell involuntarily. The delicious aroma was wafting in through his open window, making his mouth water. He subconsciously licked his inhumanly long and sharp fangs as they started to ache and grow even more in his already cramped mouth. Saliva started to pool and dribble over his bottom lip. He had to have some-!

No! I’m not an animal! I am a man, not a beast!

Ted forced himself to look away and got on his elbows so he could cover his mouth and nose with his now larger and furry hands, his claws scraping against each other. If he blocked it out, he wouldn’t be tempted and he could stay in control.

Just then, raucous laughter joined the irresistible smell, and his ears fully swiveled back toward the window; swiveled because they now sat atop his head! Now angled, he could hear more than laughter. Meat sizzling, his neighbor Tom talking about his latest business deal, some modern pop song coming from a stereo, and the clinking of glasses.

His neighbor was throwing a dinner party.

And there were people…

And people were made of meat!

He could feel his shaggy tail start to excitedly swish back and forth in giddiness.

No! No! Stop that!

He clenched his ass cheeks together and clamped down even harder on his face, trying to will the horrible thought away. But it seemed his body was now its own separate entity as it fought against him.

Even though he pushed and pushed, his face started to push out even harder. His nose and mouth began to expand outward from his skull and against his hands – he could see it protruding between his eyes. Immediately, his teeth now had the room they needed to grow and reform as they desired. Prodding them with his thicker tongue, they were now dagger sharp, and his four larger fangs had grown to easily the size of half of his ring finger.

A true predator’s teeth. Teeth that could tear out the throat of any living thing. A killing machine. A monster!

But what was clearly his muzzle wasn’t done growing yet as it continued to still push outward, his tongue lengthening with it. And as it grew, his thoughts changed with it.

I could do whatever I wanted, and no one could stop me…

No, I’m not a killer!

But why not?...The world hasn’t done me any favors…

But Tom’s a good guy, I could never hurt him and his friends!

He is always bragging though. Talking down to me like I’m lesser…Like my bullies did in high school. Like my brothers. Like almost everyone has treated me my whole life. Always the weak one. The weirdo. The outcast. Now I’m the powerful one. Now I’m the one in control. They will cower before me!

Ted lowered his hands as he grinned wolfishly, his muzzle completing its growth. With that last, power-hungry thought taking over his mind, he now welcomed the remaining changes with gusto. And because he no longer let his weak inhibitions and fears slow him down, all of the aches and pains he had felt vanished and were replaced with a rush of endorphins.

He watched with relish as the muscles on his arms and legs grew and grew, bulging and rippling, causing his once treasured articles of clothing to rip in even more places. The buttons on his shirt flew off at high-speed from the swelling of his chest and abs. If they were an obstruction, then they needed to go!

Sitting back on his haunches, a now natural feeling on his strong, digitigrade back legs, he dug his claws into his shirt and tore the remaining shreds off with a roar.

Freedom!

He did the same with what little remained of his pants, his luscious tail wagging with enthusiasm as his strength continued to grow unencumbered. Even when he worked out on a daily basis, he had never felt as strong - as big - as he did now!

No longer hindered by his human cloth scraps, the last changes of his transformation began. His spine elongated as he crouched on all fours, filling his now huge lungs with gasps of elation as his torso grew longer and longer. It was like his body was also as impatient as he was, reaching toward that open window as it pushed him forward more and more; the snapping and crunching was music to his triangular ears, even more so than the clarinet tunes still coming from his speaker.

His bulky arms stretched and grew outward pleasurably and pushed him upward, balancing him out. His back and front claws gripped the flooring as his chest rumbled with glee.

The final touches came as the last of his fur covered his face entirely, almost tickling like many kisses as it grew out into a fine, shaggy coat that melded with the lengthy mop that was his thin hair only minutes ago. His neck lengthened, making room for his large shoulders and even larger skull, giving him that much more mobility to hunt, and stalk, and kill!

With a final shake, he knew his transformation was complete, and his body was ready.

No one would belittle him ever again!

He practically leapt toward the open window as he stuck his head through and gave a long, passionate howl to the moon, thanking it for the immense power it had given him, and for his upcoming feast.

[windslar]

OC Deep Dive Questionnaire Tag

A set of 20 questions to get to know your oc! I was tagged by @matchalovertrait and @simmenycricket. thank you so much! since we're days away from starting his generation, i'm going to be doing this with Reuben in mind.

What uncommon/common fear do they have? Contrary to popular belief, Reuben is not scared of death and is actually quite fascinated by it. He is fearful though of his own mind and how it's wired to undervalue his own life and reality. He's so hyper-aware of how life is so fleeting and arbitrary that it's pushed him toward understanding the concept of mortality (and exploring the possibility that immortality might be out there in some other supernatural realm). So, to answer the question without getting too deep into it, Reuben's big fear is his own brain.

Do they have any pet peeves? People who say "no offense" because they almost always mean full offense.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? His phone, a record player, a dusty old book.

What do they notice first in a person? Reuben notices body language and eye contact first. He is very intuitive and can glean how comfortable people are in a situation, and he usually finds the least comfortable looking person and tries to keep them company.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? Emotional pain? 8/10. Physical pain? he may be a rancher's son, but he's a baby -- 4/10.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? Under pressure, Reuben goes into flight and retreat and hide out in his room mode. But recent events involving an ex-boyfriend who shall not be named have made him more resilient. He's got a little more fight in him now than he did as a teenager.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? He grew up mostly raised by his mom, but his dad has always been present in his life. He'd say he's close to both of them. While he was in high school, his parents had a surprise pregnancy so he has a much, much younger brother.

What animal represents them best? A cat for the introspection and for being deeply perceptive. Or a humpback whale -- for the introversion and the appreciation for music.

What is a smell that they dislike? Reuben doesn't really like floral scents like lilies or carnations because they remind him too much of childhood memories of accompanying his mom to the funeral home.

Have they broken any bones? One time, he climbed the windmill at their ranch and he fell and broke his arm. And no broken bones, but he did get a nasty bruise on his behind after he fell off Maple.

How would a stranger likely describe them? Some would say softboi; others would say babygirl.

Are they a night owl or a morning bird? Night owl, which is exactly why he needs to get out of the ranch and its squealing-goat wake up calls.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? Growing up with a professional chef as his mom opened Reuben's palate to a lot of good food. He's always been an easy eater, but a flavor he hates is liver. He can't stand the texture! As for a flavor he loves, it's garlic!

Do they have any hobbies? Playing the piano and reading vampire tomes and fantasy novels. He also swam in high school although he was no star athlete like his mom was.

Boom, surprise birthday party!How do they react to surprises? He would be so appreciative to the person who threw the party (either his mom or his best friend, Winona). He would probably hate being the centre of attention though. But he'll put on a brave face and try his best to make sure everyone is having a good time.

Do they like to wear jewelry? Yes, and I think more now that he's gotten older. He likes to layer silver necklaces. He's also thinking of getting some piercings... and perhaps some ink? Who knows.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting? Legible but messy. A little bit like his handwriting stopped improving in the 3rd grade.

What are two emotions they feel the most? Existential sadness and teenage angst.

Do they have a favorite fabric? Comfy, breathable cotton. Brushed plaid shirts. A vintage leather jacket.

What kind of accent do they have? Chestnut Ridge is in the southwest and people from that area typically don't have a strong southern accent like those from Willow Creek. That being said, compared to almost everywhere else, people from C.R. have a slight twang and a touch of that southern drawl. Reuben will probably say he doesn't have an accent, but someone from the city will definitely say he does.

I tag @wrixie, @dustbon, @natolesims, @druidberries, and @stefsimz. Please feel free to ignore 😊

[definitionsfading]

we're at the point in my nebulous character arc where a 480p potato recording of a GNR club gig from 1987 has become a comfort watch for me. I literally did not ask for this, the most random hyperfixations are just delivered upon me. embarrassing.

as I get deeper into the Bandom Lore for GNR I feel like it's super easy to dismiss Axl as a shitty person, but even if he's a so-called shitty person I still relate to him a lot 🫣 the need for control keeping him away from hard drugs while his bandmates were constantly high all around him, the heavy tattoos before tattooing was even really mainstream beyond bikers and gangs, the neurotic tendencies, his creativity battling with personal introversion, his love of cats 😂 AND THE CONSTANT OUTSPOKEN RANTING LMAO. we're like a different shade of the same person and I identify with a lot of the "undesirable" aspects of his personality because I see some of them in myself. I only wish I was as much of a go-getter and risk taker, jesus

[riordanness]

omg hi congrats on 800 again!!!! for ur event i have to go w i can fix him no really i can 😫 ok so the basics r i’m a cabin 4 ravenclaw infj taurus (i always start w these soz LOL) and also the ambivert final boss like genuinely i don’t lean towards introversion or extroversion and if the mbti had an a for ambivert i’d def be an anfj 🙏🏼 im a HUGE perfectionist it’s so bad actually i cannot function if something is imperfect i’ll lose my mind 😭 (i also have ocd so 🙁) when i asked one of my friends what the pros and cons of dating me are she said my perfectionism may cause problems LMAO😣😣😣 i get told im kind a lot so i like to believe thats true 🙏🏼 im super soft spoken which is a struggle cz im always having to repeat myself 🙁 (did a french speaking exam this year where i was recorded n when i say i was YELLING the entire time so that the recording device thing could pick up my voice….) im super super stubborn and persist in things until they go the way i want them to LMAO (this might be my fatal flaw) i refuse to settle for less in all aspects of life it’s either up to my standards or i’m not claiming it 😬 i LOVE LOVE LOVE reading and music those 2 r the most consistent things in my life !!!! for my type in men this may be a shocker but jason grace is an anomaly because irl + in other forms of media i tend to go for the dark haired sassy sarcastic funny guys (idk if you’ve read better than the movies but if you have wes bennett is a very good example of my type) some characters i’ve been compared to (because for some reason i get compared to a LOTTT of characters) are hermione granger, annabeth chase, rory gilmore (pre uni DUH), amy santiago, caroline?? from tvd? (idk her but my friend said i’m very similar to her so!) ummmm idk what else to include… i’m a HUGE germaphobe and get grossed out super easily LOL would rather die than go hiking or camping or anything like that soz demeter kid but not one w nature i just like flowers and gardens 🫣 i’m also super sensitive and have been told i’m emotionally intuitive!!!! i cry often about everything LOL soz if this is too long love u SOOO much 😚 also would like a pjo guy pls !!!

CYNTHIA HII (also idk why i always tag your other acc and not this one i legit always forget this url idk why 😭) anyways tyy soso much you’re actually the best fr

so. i put like way too much thought into this cause i didn’t want to just, like, stick you w jason bc that’s the easy answer yk?? BUT on that note, based on what you’ve said, i actually pair you with him?? like… if y’all were my friends irl i would ship you so bad fr.

you’re both perfectionists, tho probably in different ways yk, you bc of mental stuff and him bc he was raised by camp jupiter and literal wolves. so that would make it good for you both bc there’s nothing worse than being a perfectionist and living with someone who makes chronic messes (i can attest)

you’d both have really intuitive kindness and understanding of each other and others and that would bond you together soso well. also jason wouldn’t be a loud talker. like at all, so he’d be totally fine hearing you perfectly bc he’s used to quiet talking

neutral and very faded colour palettes for you both, light light blues and pinks and white and cream and gold everywhere (if you moved in together🤭)

jason would love to listen to you speak french btw

he does NOT strike me as a very outdoors person (in the hiking and camping and dirt way) he’d much rather sit on a porch with you and read than do any of that stuff (also he’s roman. they’re famous for their baths he would love being clean no germs here)

would totally understand your ocd and be soso nice about it like. this man would be so careful not aggravate you with unnecessarily untidy or uneven things like that.

music and book dates >>>

anyways y’all are cute i ship it so bad

[aroyaltailor]

Send 📖 for my muse to read out an entry in their journal/diary about yours.

ACCESS: RESTRICTED DECRYPTION VERSE: LUCIFER 3-14, VERSION 7

SUBJ: Marchioness Andromeda. REP #: 456-VIP-457(EM) AGENT(S): PRK-008

THIS DATA OBTAINED FROM SURVEILLANCE DEVICES WITHIN 456-HOME-1. Additional: 008 personal recording device.

In previous reports, I stated that it was my opinion that we were wasting our time (my time!) with all these frivolous profiles. And yet, #457 continues to intrigue, leading to further complications in my assessment. Despite my initial reservations, there are elements of her behavior that I now believe warrant closer scrutiny.

As shared in my previous report, #457 is the non-identical twin of Marquis Andrealphus (VIP #456). She dwells within her brother's ridiculous ice palace along the outskirts of Imp City, in a spiraling tower observatory, and appears wholly uninterested in the political scandals that her brother seems to enjoy. This marked disinterest in the power games of our people's hierarchy has remained consistent throughout my surveillance.

Her secluded residence and the choice of a high tower, separated from the palace servants, suggests a preference for solitude and introversion. While her brother appears to have specialized in abilities relating to ice and little else, Andromeda appears to have taken a far more subtle path. Celestial navigation, and the divination of prophecies via patterns in the sky. Does this seem familiar? Clairvoyance, foresight, call it what you will – our family knows the danger of such things better than most.

If you've examined the photos included in this letter, I'm certain you will understand my concerns. You should launch an inquiry, at the very least. Our name still carries weight. If #457 is delving into matters beyond her ken, there may be little time left to stop her.

I look forward to speaking with you soon.

[ai-the-broccoli]

OH GOD. I finally realized just what that official comic of younger Luka/Hyuna slightly reminded me of

...and it is fucking Rion and Hotori, the Yuzuki twins from PMMM sidestory gacha game Magia Record (though with the extroversion-introversion part completely switched. and also they are twin sisters.)

[daniigrimm-blog]

Yeah Boy & Doll Face, this is Bulletproof Love so Throw a Match into Water cos Today I Saw The Whole World and it's The Jaws of Life

Pierce the Veil did the walk of shame out of a tour with All Time Low in 2017 and that same year announced that drummer Mike Fuentes would be leaving the band; they cited that they wanted a safe feeling environment for their younger fanbase and honestly in the six or so years that the two girls that came forward with receipts and allegations really nothing has been done and that is a shame. A couple to a few years ago (not sure on exact date) they did a quarantine video featuring the drummer however and they have yet to remove his image from their Epic Win playlist but I do digress, it does seem the band has been trying to turn over a new leaf and move on sans Mike Fuentes.

That being said, let's do a deep delve into what exactly has been up with Pierce the Veil--active members are now Victor Fuentes (guitar), Tony Perry (Lead Guitar), and Jaime Preciado (Bass).

So what have these guys been up to the last decade?! Well it seems they were busy growing and having families. That's right ladies, sorry to say--these three starling studs are currently off the market. Sad, I know, but that's not why we're fucking here. We are here for the music. I did think that it was very sweet that Vic, Jaime, AND Tony settled down with seemingly the loves of their lives and that Danielle, Vic's wife, recently gave birth to their first baby Violet Valentine Fuentes! I'm excited for them and their newest adventure together as new parents. As a parent myself I wish nothing but the very best for them and as someone who can no longer make these cute little babies, I am certainly excited for whatever pics they have to share.

Now let's talk music.

Where were you on February 10th, 2023 when The Jaws of Life dropped? i was in my room, I know rather anticlimactic but, I am always in my room. Introversion aside, I remember putting on my headphones and gearing up to rock out to PTV's newest jams and my god was I not disappointed.

In an interview for Blabbermouth.net Fuentes says: "This album has truly brought us closer than we've ever been. It was extremely difficult for us to be off the road and apart for so long. We've never missed anything more than playing music together and never had such an strong appreciation for recording, touring, and simply being in the same room together than we do now. 'The Jaws Of Life' is about how life can sink its teeth into you and try to devour you. The negativity in the world and within your mind can be a vicious thing. We're extremely grateful for this record, our fans, and the opportunity to play live music again."

The first single release from the new album, was Pass the Nirvana--let's start here. Clowncore visuals aside (I am deathly afraid of clowns!) I'd say the music video takes me right back to a 90s grunge era when I was a stinky teenager watching TRL on my couch. Flash warning, for the sensitive.

“‘Pass the Nirvana’ is about the many horrible traumas that the youth of America have endured over the past few years. COVID, no proms, no graduations, an insurrection, school shootings. The list goes on. Their lives have been tossed around like clothes in a dryer, as the tensions within our country have infiltrated our own homes, friends, and families. To me, the song represents a euphoric detachment from all of that anxiety and stress and about finding some form of peace or nirvana.”

That tracks. The grungy guitar riffs and metaphorical lyrics really tie this track together in a pretty plaid bow. There were a lot of things this year that made me question what year it was, but I'd relive the 90s again as adult this time--why not? could be fun, some of the trends were neat.

The second single on the album is throwing the same vibes; albeit the song is different in many ways as the first single. For instance, both are desperate situations with meaningful lyrics. Both have underlying 90s grunge rock vibes. But Emergency Contact is essentially about a pair of lovers; one is ready to move their relationship further and is frustrated with the other who is still unsure if they should. Vic Fuentes tells you the meaning in his own words here. It's a lovely melody that I think is comparable to their collide with the sky style. Which was also very nice to hear again.

Now that brings me to their third single off their Fifth album (Fearless Records) , The Jaws of Life, Even When I'm Not With You. This is my FAVORITE out of the three singles so far, but I am as HUGE sucker for a good rock ballad.

“This song was inspired by a text my manager sent me while I was going through a rough time. I thanked her for being there for me, and she said, ‘Even when I’m not with you, I’m still with you.’ That phrase touched my heart and inspired me to write a love song dedicated to my wife about no matter how far away I am on tour, I’m still devoted to her, and we will always be connected through our love.”

The lyrics are sweet, the looping riff is melodic and wonderful and I 100% love this track. Favorite track on the album? No, sorry--but definitely my favorite listed of the three singles. If you hate Gold Medal Ribbon or the vibes thrown on Misadventures then I don't want to hear anything you have to say. Your opinion is sadly invalid here on my blog, move along.

How many tracks are on The Jaws of Life? 12.

So we've already been over tracks 2-4, no need to readdress those. Let's go back to the Death Of An Executioner.

“The visual of this song, to me, is a car that’s following you—like the video for ‘Karma Police’ by Radiohead. It’s got its headlights on your back, and it’s just kind of slowly creeping on you. To me, it represents social media and people expecting perfection out of you and always waiting for you to make a mistake so they can run you down and destroy you. I like the title ‘Death of an Executioner’ because it describes killing the person who’s trying to kill you.”

Hello Alt Rock/Rock Electronica Radiohead influences! YES, I am HERE for it 100%. The harmonizing laid over vocals just work. And the filter effect over Fuentes' voice is mesmerizing. Kinda partial to the repeating of "blood red moonlight" as a good scene setter too--just GREAT imagery here. Plus, have you listened to it yet? You should--the song goes really hard.

Flawless Execution. It's the fifth track. on the fifth album.

“This one’s kind of hard to describe. I feel like it’s about people blurring the lines between love and sex and vice versa. It’s almost about when you’re OK with being used because you want to be close to the person so badly. You want love so badly that you’re actually OK with being used or abused, kind of like the Bill Withers song ‘Use Me.’ So, it’s about those extremes that we go to just to be validated. If you���re always desiring someone’s approval, it can go to some toxic places.”

"I'll scar you with my flawless execution every time." This. is actually one song that really caught my ear the first time I heard it. Man what a smooth earworm it really is! And that chorus really hooks you. Not sure what that says about me, now knowing the meaning of the song (fuck it I already kinda knew what it implied), nah--it really doesn't change my mind. This song slaps. It's definitely one to put on and really enjoy.

So far, I really think that consistently this band has grown with each album release and that really says something. Personally, their Dance Gavin Dance/Myspace screamcore on A Flair for the Dramatic wasn't my favorite (I know Ill get hate for that) but they were still growing as people and as a band. After doing infinite amount of touring and getting to know other musicians/bands they did some dabbling and grew into Selfish Machines--Besitos really hooked me. And it just got better from there my dudes! Hold the freaking phone! When Collide With The Sky and new doors and opportunities were opening for them--that was it for me. I was a fan. Misadventures , which won album of the year in 2017 circulated so many times on my playlist that I lost count. And then--radio silence. Man, when the allegations dropped I was heartbroken.

For a long time I did not support a band that I loved because of one person doing a misdeed and that was not fair. Not fair to the people who weren't involved, and not fair to me personally because of what their art does for me. When they finally addressed things and booted that rootie tootie from the band, I almost threw confetti into the air! They did the right thing, for those girls, for the fandom, and for the band. Now, they could begin to grow--and GROW THEY DID.

It took just short of a decade but we finally got NEW Pierce the Veil, and man am I just so happy with what they have given us. That finally brings me to the title track, The Jaws of Life.

“It’s about trying to get released from life’s grip and finding your way. There’s a line in it where I say I’m having the time of my life rotting in the sun, inside the jaws of life. It’s trying to be OK with where you are and starting to feel happy again—I’m making my way, and I know that I can see some light. There’s a lot of ’90s influence in this song musically, which I’m super stoked on. The verse feels like Tripping Daisy or Superdrag—I was thinking about their song ‘Sucked Out’ a lot when I was writing this one.”

That is super befitting because so far I can hear all the 90s undertones and influences from track 1 to the title track. Superdrag, Tripping Daisy, Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, Bush, Soundgarden, and a little Nirvana. These are great fucking influences to have and man, I love that they are just spinning them into their own modern grunge pop and I am here for it. As a fan of many different types of rock and pop I have to say this is taken and done--and it is done well. Kudos to production and underlying bts workers/musicians that put their time and effort into this. This album is fully flushed out, very well produced, and thematic from track one to track twelve. Just pure perfection.

This is what went into the Production of PTV's fifth studio album.

The seventh track on the album is quite possibly my favorite. It's consistently stuck in my head no matter what I do to get it out but I'm not even really trying at this point--it's too good. It can take up rent free space in my head for as long as it possibly desires to--because jesus fuck it is glorious! It's called Damn The Man, Save The Empire.

“I’ve been trying to use this title for years, but it’s never felt right until now. It’s a quote from one of my favorite movies, Empire Records. Lyrically, it’s about how no one can really know who you are until they’ve really spent some time with you. I feel that way sometimes when people follow our band on social media and think they have me pegged, but you’re seeing what I want you to see, not who I fully am. So, it’s just reminding people about that superficial experience.”

Instrumentally this combines grungey hard guitars with dreamy vocals that portray that same kind of dreamy vibe that social media gives you with a filter on it. "No one like us anyway..." is another relatable vibe but im starting to get that not everyone is built to be an extrovert and you only live one life--so why spend it trying to please people that don't like you when they don't matter? Great song. Even better message.

Track 8 is called Resilience.

“With this song, I had this vision of that classic scene in the movies when the hand pops out of the dirt after they’ve been buried alive, and the person starts pulling their body up to the surface. It’s like when you’re digging your way out of this hole, and your eyes finally see the sun and they adjust. Also, one of my most proud moments on this record is that we got to use a quote from Dazed and Confused to start the song. We actually had to have the actors approve that. It was such a win for the album.”

It starts off with a familiar scene from a movie most of us grew up with. I don't know about the children today, but I don't really care. It's a cult classic and Idgaf what the kids younger than me have to say about it really. The acoustic guitar is melodic and almost waltz like, and vic's crooning swoony voice wraps this song up nicely. "It's odd that I-keep runnin into spiderwebs, runnin into spiderwebs at night." was a really neat lyric I picked up on in that song. Very neat visuals.

Track 9 is called Irrational Fears . It's a 20 second interlude of an air flight assistant talking over an intercom. I don't really have much to say about this.

Vic said this:

“This is an interlude that sets up the next song. It was inspired by that first scene in the movie Garden State, with Zach Braff, where he’s on a plane that’s going down and everyone is freaking out around him, but he’s perfectly calm. We wanted to set the scene with this British flight attendant being all chipper but saying really dark things. Jaime made the music, and then my friend who’s a voice actor recorded the voiceover in London. It was a fun challenge, and I’m really proud of how it came out.”

Track 10 is called Shared Trauma and it's vapidly becoming one of my favorite PTV tracks. I guess personally, it touches very close to home. My family hasn't had the easiest life up until now, we have a lot of shared trauma but it's made us closer because of it--and it's certainly helped us grow knowing that.

“The title kind of speaks for itself. I’ve always felt that shared trauma and going through a traumatic experience with somebody can be one of the strongest bonds in human existence. Knowing that you’ve both been through something together will always connect you in such a powerful way. I think that’s beautiful—it’s the good that can come out of the bad. Musically, it was very much a collaborative band effort that came out of this loopy analog beat that Jaime sent me. It was really fun to write.”

So Far, So Fake starts off with couple of slow arpeggios that set the mood for the song which is cut into like a knife by Vic's sharp vocals to form a smooth even climb through the rest of the melody. The chorus is catchy, man, and does it stick if you let it. It's a hit. 100%. If they were to make another music video off this album, I would get in line to watch this one (but who are we kidding? I would get in line to watch any videos they decided to make as long as Mike isn't in them.)

“This song was written in 2017, so we’ve had it for a long time. It was one of the only ones that made it from some of the first writing sessions we did before the pandemic. It’s about if you’ve ever been betrayed by somebody you felt was a friend, and the wound never really mended—where even an apology doesn’t feel like it’s enough. It feels like it can never really be resolved. So, it’s a bit angry, a bit sour, a bit difficult to think about. But I always want to write about things that are affecting my life.”

I do recall a time where Vic had mentioned he was cheated on by someone who wasn't exactly exclusive with him? I don't remember the interview exactly but I do remember hearing it. Maybe that applies here. Maybe and I'm not saying this to start anything--it hits even closer to home and it's about Mike and what he did. They are family, and the band did lose out on a member. I imagine that would affect everyone very deeply and there would be wound that needed healing. I'm glad though, whatever the case, that Vic was able to get this out--it seemed he needed to. Music can be very therapeutic. Not just to us but to the artists who create it especially.

The final track on the album is called 12 Fractures and it is a lovely duet between Victor and an artist named Chloe Moriondo. She/They have never come up on my radar before but some how are an active member on the emo scene. She's/They've hung out with everyone from the likes of All Time Low, and Simple Plan, and now to Pierce the Veil and I love her/them for it. And can I just say that Her/Their voice is just wonderful. It's safe to say, I love this song.

Shout out to all the legal smokers of medicinal 420. I cannot wait til they federally legalize. We just need to move forward as a society but I digress, "Oh thank god for THC" is one lyric grab I loved from this song but it's just one. And it makes it all that more relatable.

“The song was called ‘12 Fractures’ before it became the 12th song on the album. We didn’t plan it like that. I’m glad it worked out that way, but it also makes things confusing. I’m actually looking at our vinyl right now to make sure it doesn’t just say ‘Fractures.’ But this one came from a deeply personal story about a friend of mine who went through a divorce. I watched two of my favorite people in the world just fall apart. When friends break apart like that, it’s like losing a family member. It’s super difficult, even as a bystander. It was cool to get Chloe on the song to bring the story to life. I’m a big fan of hers, and I think she did an amazing job.”

Now that I heard her/them on this song I will certainly be looking into her music because to be quite frank I just hadn't heard of her. I do love getting new music on my radar all the time though and this is usually how I find it. Artist collabs are SO so good for expanding the playlist repertoire-just trust me.

Did this convince you to go get The Jaws of Life and give it a listen? I sure hope so. It's fucking amazing on many levels. They did grow, they did change, and what they created is something I'll be blasting on my playlists for the next few years--but hey, let's maybe not make us wait another decade for new tunes next time guys? Pretty please?

Thanks.

D. Grimm

Sources:

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Some may not be linked because of space in the post my apologies, they can be found with a simple google search.

[balshumetsbaragouin]

Lore Post: Whispering Panic

Since we're getting into the thick of things for Passion, and inspired by the general overview post on Wednesday, why don't we have some Lore about the curse sweeping through Amity Park? Join me below as we look through the research notes of a knowledgeable servant of Eulas as they study the Pathology and Epidemiology of this common Curse!

Symptoms:

The Whispering Panic is a mild to moderate curse that causes:

Paranoia

Delusions

Increased aggression

Increased anxiety

Fever

Body aches

Disease Progression:

Ghosts:

There is a week long incubation period for the first symptoms to appear after exposure and successful infection.

The first symptom is typically body aches and headache. This is swiftly followed by a fever within the next 24 hours. The first week of infection mimics several curses, making diagnosis of it difficult. Additionally, because outbreaks tend towards the younger members of a community, and they are not yet immune to any number of curses, diagnosis is made yet more difficult.

However, the characteristic “panic” behavioral changes of the curse quickly set it apart from the more serious Hearthstone’s Heat or Feral Fang . The first of these changes to appear is increased anxiety. In the young, this often manifests as uncharacteristic shyness, clinginess, or introversion. After that comes the aggression, which common manifests in decreased tolerance for sharing or group play among ghostlings, and argumentativeness or churlishness in adults. In normal healthy individuals, the more disruptive symptoms never appear, or only appear in very mild form. In the vulnerable, however, aggressive gives way to paranoia. This encourages the increasingly ill host to self-isolate to increase the chance of the curse burrowing deeper without being cured by another recently recovered clan member. The paranoia then intensifies into delusions, and depending on the complexity of the core, death or chronic illness follows.

One would think a curse spread by energy would encourage interaction, and some do(with symptoms of delirium and euphoria and lowered inhibition), but because this has a very brief asymptomatic incubation period and an even briefer asymptomatic spread period, the only way the curse can survive is by nestling deep into the core of a ghost to be spread once their condition truly deteriorates. Almost all healthy ghosts clear the curse, but children, ghosts afflicted by other curses, or the especially frail or elderly are more susceptible to infiltration of the curse to the core.

Liminal Objects:

Unlike their Living or Ghostly counterparts, liminal objects do not have a disease progression. Instead, the symptoms of the curse are stable once it manifests. There is a shortened incubation period as well, as little as 24 hours, making these objects excellent vectors to spread the curse throughout a community. Once the curse manifests, the object begins moving and then starts reflecting the strongest emotion of the closest spiritually active being. Unless a strong emotion is introduced to a liminal object, it will otherwise act in accordance to its animia. Because many liminal objects form from well loved and cared for objects, their animia combined with these traits make them appealing to keep around. It’s often difficult to convince a child to cleanse an infected stuffed toy, for example, even though its spirit will not be harmed. The charm of a moving object can also make spread among children a more simple task, as they show off their new moving object among their peers.

No known examples of a Liminal object infected with Whispering Panic becoming violent or aggressive absent strong negative emotional stimulus has been recorded.

Spiritually Active Humans:

The disease progression mimics that of ghosts in all but a few key areas. First, the incubation period is typically longer in all but the most spiritually powerful humans. This makes the average time for the first symptoms to manifest rise from 7 to 11 days.

Additionally, humans are more emotionally volatile than ghosts, whose psyches are stabilized by the nature of their Cores. This means mood swings are a common additional symptom in afflicted humans. This shows up around the same time as increased aggression.

Finally, humans are extremely unlikely to reach the final stage of infection, because while their immune system takes longer to clear the curse, there is no core to infect. On top of this, the method by which the curse is cleared in their bodies involves less targeted attacks and more an immune system carpet bombing campaign. Assuming it does not trigger a cytokine storm in particularly vulnerable individuals, the curing method is effective, if inefficient, and leaves no area of the body untouched. (a direct contrast to the Core being privileged from immune response in Ghosts.)

The entire process, from beginning to end in a healthy individual, takes three months instead of the usual six weeks. Like Ghosts, humans are only temporarily immune. However, unlike other spiritual beings, humans do not live long enough for their waning immunity to allow reinfection. Immunity is therefore considered a lifelong in human beings.

Outbreak Potential:

Because most outbreaks are self-limiting, and because immunity is gained relatively quickly, immunity is slowly lost over time. Most ghosts catch and recover from this infection multiple times in their lifetimes without incident. And a single fully recovered community member can quickly sweep away the curse leaving areas cleared from its influence. Natural reservoirs remain in the Wilds of the Zone among the blob and, especially, ecto-animal populations who spread it to more advanced/complex ghosts on a regular pandemic cycle similar to the Flu.

Prognosis:

Ghosts:

For ghosts that are more advanced than Animalia, the prognosis is great. The illness is self-limiting and will resolve in a few weeks with rest and palliative care. For those lower ghosts, or the more vulnerable of the more complex sub-variety, prognosis depends on prompt treatment with a difficult to obtain remedy. For members of the ghostly Animalia, without treatment they will regress into a hyper-aggressive state wherein they do not eat, shun the company of their fellow animal ghosts, and viciously attack any ghosts that come near. The lack of food combined with its propensity to attack any ghost it comes across, no matter its power, lead inevitably to its demise.(Though not without spreading the curse very effectively, as the changes to its core make it broadcast the infection far more effectively.)

For subjects with more advanced Cores, the curative process takes 2-3 weeks from onset of symptoms. This process is elongated in children, whose less developed Cores take longer to produce a counter-signal and make a physical recovery. Because of this, chances of the curse taking root deeper in the core is higher, and the monitoring by a guardian, or if medically fragile, a health care professional is advised.

If a medically vulnerable individual, of sufficient core complexity, does not get the infection treated in time, it takes root inside and becomes a chronic illness.(recall once again that it leads to death in less complex animalia) This illness is difficult to root out, and debilitating. It stunts the production of energy, wastes iridiolymph(the unified solution a ghost’s different ectoplasm is dissolved in), and causes long-term personality and behavioral changes that aren’t conducive to socializing.

Chronic Whispering Panic infection, or chronic Feral Fang infection, is the most common cause of non-deficiency based growth stunting in the Zone. It is especially common in areas with large numbers of wild animal ghosts, who regularly have outbreaks or occasionally harbor individuals in the last stages of the disease, or in areas with high levels of deprivation(as nutritionally unsound ghosts have a harder time fighting off the disease). Both of these perquisites were common in former Kingdom Ĉiamdaŭra, giving it the dubious honor of having the greatest per capita amount of stunted ghostlings.

Liminal Objects:

Lacking any immune system of their own, Whispering Panic is one of the many curses that must be purged by a spiritually active living being. This can be done by a ghost, of any type, that’s producing a countersignal, a recently cured human who is doing the same, or a spiritually active human who can perform a ritual cleansing.

These human rituals produce energy that mimics the natural counter-signal to a curse, and so are the most effective way to cleanse an object. Without this, they remain infectious until the animia either fades, or the object is destroyed.(which breaks the ability of the object’s animia to remain connected to the material realm.) This makes them excellent reservoirs for curses that can cause them to reappear at “random”, even after the initial outbreak has settled. Luckily, most liminal objects that become infected with this curse lack the sophistication to develop the nastier psychological effects of the curse. Instead, the objects are merely animated, as is common in curse infections. One unusual aspect of this infection, though, is the way it causes the objects to mirror the strongest emotions of the other spiritually active beings around it. And because liminal objects, generally because of their simplistic animia, lack emotions of their own, these come from the Humans, Ghosts, Aspects, ect around them. Because of the lack of severity, Whispering Panic, and other curses with similar symptom profiles, used to be prolific among the liminal object subset. Humans, at one point, mistook the symptoms of infection, the emotional reactions and movement, as signs of being liminal at all. And as spiritual activity has waned in the Living Realm, both the spread of curses, and liminal objects themselves have become more rare on Earth.

A simple cleansing of the object of the curse’s energy is enough to render it inert and stop spread. In more ancient times, objects were cleansed at least once a year, if only to make sure they didn’t act as vessels that could sicken the spiritually sensitive among the community. These ritual cleanses still take place in the Zone, and are done at temples throughout the Zone by all major and minor deities’ servants.

Spiritually Active Humans:

Prognosis is once again excellent as the combination of their spiritually energy with their human immune system is able to fend off the disease. In this case, the innate immune system is super charged with spiritual energy. This creates a cascade of inflammation, but those molecules suffice the body, carrying the energy’s counter signal with it. Full clearance of the disease takes longer, like most curses, because of the lack of specificity and efficiency, but the process is still completed within three months. It is a more serious curse among humans, and the fatigue and longer term body aches it induces make it more of a blight.

However, unlike human viruses, it does not result in autoimmune sequela or chronic disruption of metabolism after the curse is cleared, and so remains a marginal annoyance instead of a serious ill.

Like with vulnerable ghosts, if a human is unable to clear the infection, it tries to create a chronic infection. However, without a Core, Ɉ̵̨͈͖͇̘͛͋̉̔͝ʜ̶̡̘̫̹̞͛̾̋̈́̍ɘ̵̡̥̪̠̬̎̈́̓̆͝ɿ̶̖̪̱͉͚̈́̈͆́̑ɘ̷̨̼̙̟̬͊͒̈͑̄'̶̢̛̗͙̣̞́͐̈́̎ƨ̷̦̙̥͍̞̌̈́̉̈́͠ ̸̧̧̢̪͔̓͑̅̚͝ņ̷͇̲̬͛̅̔̀͜͝o̷̬͚̜͎͆͛̓̾͆͜Ɉ̴̧̹̫̬̥͌̾͂̉͌ʜ̷̰̥͔͈̦̾̇̌̋͝i̵͎̩̳̬̞͊̑̾̔̓ṇ̶͔̗̬̐̃͘̕͘ͅϱ̷̛̼̯̝͓̒͐̍͑͜ ̵̳̰̘̪̭̆̒̀̚͝ʇ̸̧̲̼̰̹͊̓̑̚̕o̸̧̳̜͈͓͛̋̇͊̔ɿ̶͉̞̤͚͕̍̓͋̈́͠ ̷̢̗͇̭̙͒̓͗͋͝Ɉ̷̨͍̞̫̪̾̔̉̈́͝ʜ̵͉̬̩̟̑̈̒̍͛͜ɘ̴̺͕͔̯̰̒̿̏̚͝ ̷̗͕̦͓͐́̀̕͘͜ɔ̴̙̩̞͔̋͗̓̓͘͜υ̴͎͚̝̠͍͛̓͛̔̕ɿ̴̣̖̳͙̝͐̒̇̈́͝ƨ̶̥̹̭̦͇͂̅͊͑̆ɘ̸̢̞̮͓̼̈́̋̌͠ ̵̯͚̲̗̼̈́̈́̎̃Ɉ̸͕͈̭̬̝̀̑̿̀̚o̸̫̰̯̳̗͒͒͒̚̚ ̶̡̧̗̗̗̔̐͊͂͝ḑ̷̜̯͈͑͐̐̂̾ͅὺ̶̛̥͓͔̖͇̋̔͘ɿ̷̨̧̹͖̦̈́̒̇́͗ɿ̶̛̜͚̼̻̬̊̈͗̇o̵̡̻̻̩̱͐͒͐͂͗w̵͇̯̙͖̣̏͛̿͘͠ ̶̦̯̱̫̞́̃̾͊͠ị̸̢̻̘̫́̔͌̉̉n̴͔̟͚̪̓̓̈́͘͜͝Ɉ̸̰͈͓̜̒̏̾̎̃ͅǫ̵̩͍̣͊́͆̒̉͜.̷̮̬̥͙̰̅̿̒̽̿ ̸̧̝̻͈̰͒̽̐́̐Î̴̢̻̙̩̳̇̑̌̊n̵̝̞̝̼͎͒̇̀͐̚ƨ̶̡̣̱̜͔͆͒͑͂̕Ɉ̷̡̲̪̰̹̎̒̓̉̇ɘ̵̥̰͇̙͛͑̓̈́͌ͅɒ̴̨̬͈̻̓̈́̐̑̚͜b̸̙̻̼̹͇̀̉̌̓̕,̴̞̟̬͓̂̉̒͝͠ͅ ̴̨͕̣̞̩̋͌̏͒͠ì̸̺͔̥̲͖̈́͒̐͠Ɉ̵̛̝̝̩̱̫̏̐̃̈ ̴̧̥̜̭̘̅͐̇͐̓ɿ̶̨̡̤̳̈͑̔̆͒ͅì̷͔̝̣͍͐̅̕̚͜q̸̧̺̜͙̔̓̐̈͠ͅƨ̶̨̤̙͍͍̉̉̿͑̂

ʜ̷̩͍͔͈̜͗̔͛́̈ὐ̷̛̳͚̖͙̈̾͘ͅḿ̸̨̳̥͍̘͊͂̾͑ɒ̶̧̛̖̞̼̮͛͐̀̋ṇ̴̡̤̱͍͑̓̉̉̿,̴͔̱̖̰͐̉̈́̊̏͜ ̵̰͚̗̰̑̆̕͘͜͠i̶̢̛͓͈̦̱̅́̍̚ň̵̯̗̮̹̺̿͗̈͑ɔ̸̪̣̮̭͓̀͋̇̀̄ɿ̶̧̹̭͖͇͛̒̉͐̆ɘ̴̖̪̪̲͈̋̓͐́̀ɒ̷̨̹̫͔͔͒̆̾̐͝ƨ̶̛̦̩̭̱̠͆̉͋̋ɘ̵͔͔̥̮̙̐͂͌̈̑ƨ̶͓̬͎̗̬̽̈͂͠͠ ̷̻̫̩̲͇̂̏̐͝͝Ɉ̸̦̖̤̲̖̓̔̂͋͝ʜ̶̝̹̣͎̌͂̊̇̈͜ɘ̵̛̫̩͖̙̽̄̾̆͜ị̸̡̛̼̘͕̿̈́̊͘ɿ̶̗̟̘̜̰̈́͂̉͑̉ ̶͔͕̳̭̼̿͗̓̊̓q̸̪̞̩̯̆̀̈́̈̏ͅɒ̸̼͈̣̝͑̊̊̎͐ͅɿ̵̰͍̰͙͇͆͊͛̔͑ɒ̸͚̙̞͕̫͆̍̍̐̅n̶̟̳͙̦̺̒́͒͂̑ò̶̰͕̣͇̫̈́̃̆͑ḯ̶̦̺̗̰̘̏̓̅̑ɒ̶͍̖͕͉̣̀̓͂͊̒,̸̡̘͖͍̫̑̀̊̄͝ ̵͙̹̱̖̙͆̌̎͂͘ɒ̸̹̩̱̥̆̄͑͐̈͜ǹ̴̹̩͎̦̗͐̿̈́́b̷͎͍͖͇̦̈́̓͒͆͝ ̸̡̞̫̱̱̄͐̅̏̋ʜ̷͙̰̯͓̥̈̊̊̔͝í̴̜̰̺̮̀̒̒̚͜į̴̯̘͖̼̺̐̃̿͑̈́ɒ̴͈̠̦̝̲͊̐̿̓͝ɔ̶̗̱̘̘̈́̌̍͐̃͜ʞ̷̡̖̻͉̭̔̽̎̾̂ƨ̷̧̡̛̯̭̉͊̃͜͝ ̸̨̭̩̺͙̎͋͂̐̊Ɉ̵̻͉͎̯̦̌͋͆̾̚ʜ̵̡̪͚̳̲̾̂̈̾͝ɘ̴̥̺̝̪̪̅͆̇̒́ì̶̡̳͈͉̩̎̾̈̓ɿ̶̼̻̼̖͚́͐̂̚͝ ̴̨̡͈̖͖̄̆̇͘̕ƨ̴̡̟̺͕̩͌̎͛̅͝q̸͔͎̹̩͑̎̚͠͝ͅỉ̴̡̪̟̗̌̓͛͛͜ɿ̷̨̼̥͚̱̇͗̓͝͝i̸̛͎̳͙̘̓̏̆̊͜Ɉ̷̧̪͈̦̥̉̿͑̓̔υ̶̨̝̜̣̎̂̄̄̄͜ɒ̵̹͓̮̥̤͌̈́̐̈͠l̶̬̥͈̣̀̏̉͘͜͝ ̶̩͕͔̞͓̄̓̒̕̚q̶̧̖͖̦̊̎̽̊́ͅó̶͖̲͉̭̻̌͆̌̒w̶̬̥̤͖͈͗́̈́̄̒ɘ̸̯̱̣̯̲͗͗͛̊͝ɿ̷̥̭͇̝͙͑͑́̐͝ƨ̶̨̛̥̳̝̞̊̈́̆̏ ̷͈̦̜̩͋̇̒̔͊ͅį̵̛͓̟̪͎̀̑̕͝ñ̸̡̫̝͔͍̈́̓̐͝ ̶̨̜̖̺̗̒̓̎̾̚ō̸̜̥̹̼̫̂̄̃̓ɿ̴̟̬̙̦̩̔͐̂̍͝b̶̟̟̠̦͑̐̐̅̈́͜ɘ̶̖͇̺̲͉̌̇̄̕͝ɿ̷̯̟̥̫̜̈́̈́́́̅ ̴̫͔̼͔̇̅̆̌͒͜Ɉ̷̨̪͍̗̽͛̈̎̋͜o̶̞̳̥̻̹͒͊̀͌͊ ̵̡̥͖̲̟̇̿̃̃̐ƨ̶̞̦̜̝̌̂͆͐͛ͅq̶̧̛͇̞̣̗͆̈́̓͘ɿ̸̛̜̤̪̮̗̎́̂̂ɘ̵̡͚̪̙̒́̌̃͘ͅɒ̸͎̦͚̼̰̆̀̉̅͠b̴̡̧͉̙̲̉̑̀͂̌ ̴̨̘̤̠̙͐̿̈̀̉Ɉ̴̢̳͎̲̤̂͂̎̒͝ʜ̴̡̞̻̥̦̏̉̒̌͛ɘ̶͈̬̜̯̻̾̓̿̒͝ ̵̘̟͓̭̮̉̃̐̈́͝ɔ̵̢̲̼̲̗̇̀̑̍̊ὺ̵̜̭̥͚͌͛͛͘͜ɿ̵̫̦̮̬̉̊͒͗̍͜ƨ̴̥̤͇̲̑͌͌̍̓͜ɘ̶̗͖̟̗͍̍͋̍̒̚ ̶̧̪̤̹̲́̃́̽͘ɒ̷̙̟͖̤̓͌́̾̐͜ƨ̴̞̻͈̳̹͛͛̽̑̂ ̴̮̳̻̥̜̀̏̀̐͒ʇ̸͓̱͈̼̳̈́̊͐̏͂ɒ̶̳̭̠̪͔͂͗̌͛̉ƨ̸̧̨̨̦̜̇̐̀̓̊Ɉ̵̛͉͖͓̬̱͊̀̒̈́ ̷̮̥̲̙͎́̃̀̍͝ɒ̵̝̗̲̳̉͗́̈͝ͅƨ̴͕̦̭̝̜́̔̀̂͝ ̵̧̬͕̬̲̒͆͛͗͝q̵͈͕̣̥͋͊̋̿̿͜ŏ̵͈͚̻͇̽̑͐̀͜ƨ̴̻̲̯̗̙͆̓̊͛̆ƨ̸͚̗̲̤̂̉͊̆͜͝i̵̱̳͇͓̘͆͂̉͆͝d̴͖͚̜̮̖̍͋̄̈́͘l̴̢̪̣͈̦̀̈́͊̿̉ɘ̴̻̲̼͙͐̐̃̂͌͜.̶̼͖̻̤̇́͆̎̀͜ ̴̨̲̳̫̙̎͛̀̇͝T̵̯̭̤̹̮͌̓͑́͗ʜ̷̣̣̜̟̃͑͌̄̎͜ȋ̷̛̙̟͍̼̏̓̈́͜ƨ̴̨͙͇̹͖̾͊͊̽̕ ̸̨̢̮̫͈̐͋͗̕͠ɘ̷̧͔̹͉̲̈́͋̿̔͠v̴̻͇̞̀̆̂́̀ͅͅɘ̴̠̗̞͓̲̎͗́̿̚ǹ̷̛̬̩͕̰̟̄͗̄Ɉ̶͉͙͕̤̪̊́̊̕͝υ̵̞̼̣͖͌͋͒͐̚ͅɒ̵̧̡̲͕̯̈͋̊̕̕ļ̴͕͉̫̹́̃͊̓͗l̸̞̟̮̻̫͛̂̒̎͝γ̴̛̖̱͎̜̿͑̔̕ͅ ̵̧̛̘̮̉͊̾̚͜ͅw̶̬̫͇͙̔̍͌̐͜͝ï̸̮̩̝̹̼̆̐̈̕ľ̸̡̢͔͖̭͛͑̎͠l̷̟̰̖͍̹̀̇̿̄́ ̸̢̲͇͇̼̑̂͑̌̃l̵̨͇̪͖̹̎̒͛̌͐ɘ̵̻̙̦͉͙͆̆͂̄̉ɒ̷͇̭̟̻̪̋̉̂͘͝b̴̢̬̲͔̼́̓̍̅̕ ̷͕͔̘̮̜͐̀͂́̕Ɉ̵̟͕̻̹̦́͛̇́̎o̵̙̻̲̞̳͛͋͂̐̔ ̴̨̛̤̪͎͊̔͝͠ͅb̶̜̙͉̠̜̂̋́͗̈ɘ̵̭̘̟͈̰̐̄̕̚͝ɒ̴̛̼̼̮̮́̓̅͗͜Ɉ̵̼͉̞͚̖͋͋͌͑̂ʜ̵͙͍̤̮̣̎͑̏̊͠,̴̫͓͕͉̼́̍̂́̊ ̵̨̜̜̪̬́̔͋̑̐ɒ̶̧̢̪̪̞͋́̽͊̉ļ̴̨̛̺̩͉̒̈́̅͝Ɉ̸̺̣̥̞̦͂͒̓̉̚ʜ̷̢̬̱̦͚̂̇̈͑͠o̸̻͇̞̯̫͛̆͆̒̚υ̶̬̘̻̮̥̒͂̉̉͝ϱ̴̹̱̟̣̪̄͗̒̿̕ʜ̴̰̤͙͎͎̈́͊́̀́ ̸̟̰̮̪͇̾͋̈́̈͂Ɉ̴͙̹̫̗̬̇͑̃̄̚ʜ̴̧̗̤͇͍̑̍̀̔͘ɘ̷̪̦̮͈̈́̄̋͗͜͝ ̵̣̩̥̖̣̊͛̔̈͒ɔ̵̰̹͎̩̋̿͘̕͠ͅö̷͈̺̫͎̠́́̃̎̅m̵̡̧̼͕̟̓́̏̏͂d̸̡̛̲̩͍̀̓͑̈́͜ĭ̶͕͇͉̦̳͐͂̀͠n̶̤̣̺̠̥͑̀̇͛͝ɒ̴̢̠͇̬̟̏̌͛̀̀Ɉ̴͙̳̯̲̯̓̏̕̚͘ĩ̷̧͚͈̝̎̇̓͠ͅǫ̶̢̻͎̪̎͊̾͆̋ņ̵̲͖͆̑̃̔̈́͜ͅ ̸̣̘̗̦̓̿̈͋͠ͅo̵̘̩̺̣͇̿̈́̅̕͠ʇ̸̗̫̗̝̦̀͑̈́̈͝ ̵̬̩̬̩̥̂̒͑̕̕Ɉ̵͎̗̟̦̭͒̈́̓͋͘ʜ̸͍̳͚̦̋͂͐̇͘ͅɘ̴̘̝̝̹͒̅͑̓̿ͅ ̵̨̭͙̟̼͛̎̑̑͠l̵͎̠̱̗̥͒̈̓̂̽ɒ̷̤͖͉̘̼̋̆͑̇͛ɔ̴̖͕̝͖̠͗̎̓̅̓ʞ̷̛̮͇̗̥͖͗͆̈́͝ ̸̱͙͎̤̭͐̓̉̇͝ó̴͈͖͈̜͓̆̄̎͘ʇ̸̨̯̹̻͛̽͐̆̽ͅ ̸͚͖̻̻̳͊̎͒̀̚Ɉ̷̫̲̬͊̆̏̑́ͅͅɿ̸̤̞̞̹̱͂̄͑̽̕ɘ̸̼͙̥̙̋̎̉͗͒͜ɒ̸̩̹͓̹̮̉̑͂͐͝Ɉ̸̛̭͇̼̲̻̈́̃̀͊m̸̬̞̩͔̯̀̌̅̚͝ɘ̵̥͔̳̥͂̄̿̃̽ͅņ̷̭̖͎̯͛͌̽͆̆Ɉ̷̪̦̮̼̫̓̒͛̊̕ ̸͉͕̫͙̹͂̓̄̀͒w̸͖̖̰͔̙͛̐̾̇͠i̸͙̲̰͓̻̊̍́̉͗Ɉ̸̢̧̥͚̫͒́͐̆̕ʜ̵̨͕̩̣͇̄̅̂̐͠ ̵̡̨̲̯̬̋̍̔̽̕ɒ̴̰̟̝̳̋̈̿̐̂͜ ̶̗̥͚͎̟̈́̈̾̾̅l̷͈̤͙̲̖͗̉͘̕͠ɒ̸̲̜̺̥̾̅̏̆̿͜ɔ̸͉̘̝͉̽̓̂̀͐͜ʞ̴̭̲̻̙̜̐̆̏̚͠ ̵͚͔̙̜̒̽̍̀͒͜o̵̪̠̪͚̗͐̌̔̊̊ʇ̸̦̖̗͚̞̌̄̔̆̚ ̵̲͖͓̱̞̀̌̈́̕̕ɒ̶̭͕̘̭̗̄̌́͑͠d̷̨̝̘͇͛͗̇̈́̋͜į̴̝̭̣͚͒͑̿̓̚ļ̵̧̯̖̯̄͋̿͂͝í̷̧̺̟̮̩̏̆̓̿Ɉ̴̬̯͕̱̃̈̏̇̽͜γ̴̰͉̹̣̩͑́̃͊̒ ̵͈͙̬̠̹́͗̆̕͠Ɉ̵̢̫̘͇͓̎̓͂̑̈́o̴̡̨̭̠͉̅͒̈̅̑ ̷̭̱̳̺͇̽̽̽̈́͠ɔ̴̛͇̰̲͓̰̾̂̉̄l̴͖͍̘̳̋̽͐̇́ͅɘ̸̡͖̗̯̯̈̂̃͊͠ɒ̴̭̳̞͙̈́͑͌̄͜͝ɿ̷͓͎̻̝̮͗̿̂̀͝ ̴̡̫̥̙̦̾͗̇̀̂Ɉ̴̡̨̠̪̲̄̆̿͐̾ʜ̵̯͕̫̣̺̃̇̅̎͋ɘ̴̨̢̩̹̪̋̇́͑͘ ̶̭̳͔̥̫̀̈́́̏̓ɔ̵̙̣̟̮͓̌̌̾͌͛ὺ̶̫͎̞͉͇͋̈́̑̔ɿ̷̭̗̭̙̃̃́̽̚ͅƨ̷̗̫͇̞̠̀̈͒͗̌ɘ̵̭̭̱̮̬̓̃̔̄͝ ̶̢̯̙̘͍̂̀̃̀̋n̷͍̗̼̙̠̒͊̾͘͠ɒ̴̧̳͓̭͛̈̽̑͝ͅɈ̵̭̳̺͉̜̒̂̑͆̉ϋ̶̡̛͉͉͙̃͊̀ͅɿ̵̟̦̩͚̍͆͗̿͂ͅɒ̶̟̰̫̯̔̒̒͋͜͠l̸̼͖̼̞̜̅́́̔͘l̴̛͖̼͕̲̉̿̌̿ͅγ̷͕̠̬͓̮͆̎͋̾̄ ̷̖͈̺̝͕̋̈́̾̅̎ì̵̧̦̩͚̯̋͌͒͠ƨ̶̢̬̠̤̀͒̔̆͑ͅ ̵̹̮͈̫̯́̏̾͆͝ɘ̸̧̳͕̭͛̒̈́̌̽ͅx̸̟͚͉̞͌̄̄̿͠ͅɔ̷̣͔̮͇̣̀͗͒̽̃ɘ̴̨̧̖͓̳́̉̉̒̉q̴̹̙̲̺̭̾̆͛͊͝Ɉ̶̡̛̩͇̖̠̅̋̓̊i̶̱̩̰̫͍͐̎͛̅͘ő̸̺̻̟̮̜̄́̿̈́n̴̡͉͍̻̦͑̎͆͝͝ɒ̷̖̫̩͖̱̓̅̊̒͠l̷̢͔̪̱͍̃͊̒̔͝l̶̟͉͙̱̱͑̌̄̇̓γ̷͓̟̬̟͕̆̃̃͋͌ ̶̰̼̫̖̆̍̑̉́͜ɿ̷̛͉͍͚̩͖̇̋̾͠ɒ̶̳͚̰͖̂͂͑͘͝ͅɿ̸̩̱͕̻̪̀̌̐̅͝ɘ̴̢̗͕̗̞̊́͒͐͝,̵̢̰̯͉̫̇̊͌͆͝ ̷̯͖̹̝̫̂͑̃͆̚ɒ̷̜͍̮̮̹̽̈́͑̕͝ņ̷̭̹̼̥́̈́̋̒̚b̷̰̮̯̦̮̑̑͂͘͝ ̵̧̛̫̣̯̣̒̈́͂̑o̷̧̩̤̥̰̊̐̐̽̾n̸̢͇̲̤̣̈́̆̈́̑̈l̸̡̼̪̱̯̑̈́́̊̾γ̷͚̝̰̳̖̔̀̓̿͝ ̷͙̣͖͙̜̓̾̎̂̐Ɉ̷̬̲̼̐̇̉̓̕͜ͅʜ̴̺̺͕̪̦̈́͋̽̎̊ɿ̴̧̟̭̘͍̀̀̄̈́̕ɘ̵̛͖̲͔̺͓̔̿̄͠ɘ̶̣̗̦̘̰̏̈͊͊̀ ̸̮͔̘͖̜̓́̎̕͝ɔ̷̙͔͍̥͎͆̓̊͊̚ɒ̷̧̼̱͖̱͐́̈̔̇ƨ̸̢͍͓͕̺̒̒̑̀͘ɘ̷̡̤͓͍͍͆̐̌̑̋ƨ̸̛̛̩̲̤͓͍̉́͑ ̸̮̝̲̩̮̆́́͋̐ʜ̸̪̼̘̂͌̍̇͝ͅͅɒ̶͖͓͈̹͆͌̿̚̕͜v̷̠̹̰̪̍̽̇͂͗͜ɘ̷̗̰͇̝͆́̎̒͆ͅ ̷̪͔̥͎̮̾̃̒͛͘ḋ̸̡̙̗͇̣̓̉̔͠ɘ̶͚̤̰͈̫̓̿̉̉̅ɘ̵̤͙̭̗̰̈́̇̏̍̈ṇ̷̨͉̜̱̽͌̏̉͝ ̷̳̼͎̥̺̋̂͂̿̈́n̵͇̱̙̠̙̆͂̾̚͝ơ̶̡͖͕͉͖̑̂̀̉Ɉ̸̨̨̟̝̞̇̅͂̔̀ɘ̶̛̝̭̼̭̜͌̄̑̚b̶̡͍͖̥̱̿͐̓̿̿ ̸̨͈̗͈̻͊͛̈̓͘i̵͉̜̫̲̟̓͊͂͊̋ņ̶̧̺̻̣̿̈́̀̄̿ ̶̧̨̩̺͖͑̀̈́̽͘Ɉ̴̡̙͍̯͊͗́̌́͜ʜ̸̺̟̣͚̯̎͆̿̔̆ɘ̷̛̪̹̲̺̪͂̆̋̀ ̶̛̱͉̭̮̃̀̀͘͜l̸̯̘̮̼̥͆͗͋͋͝i̸̧͔̻͍̣͒̃̈́͋͠Ɉ̶̘͓͉̯̬͋̃̐̅́ɘ̷͙̮͙̘͙̀̓͛̈̆ɿ̴̠̮̮̳̝̏́͗͛́ɒ̷̡̗̲̝̦̈́̔̏̈́͠Ɉ̷̭̜͕͚̈́̎́́̐ͅυ̵̘̜̱̗̟͑̈́̓͊͒ɿ̴͙̜͉̩̹̓͐̋͂̕ɘ̵̯̯̥͉̟̓͐̇͘͠.̵̧͍͓̘̽̾͗̌̈ͅ

[writing-for-life]

Tell me about your stories! What kind of stories you like to write? Any particular themes you like to explore? Any trope you're fond of (plot or character wise or both)? What inspire you as a writer?

Thanks so much for the ask!

I’ve been writing for as long as I remember; I think I must have written my first short stories when I was still at primary school and then got a bit more serious about it in high school (I held the school record for most words ever written in an essay for a very long time—brevity is not my forte, in absolutely nothing I write).

I am bilingual, and I usually write in my other language because I perceive it as slightly stronger (I grew up in a different country, my mum didn’t speak English with me, only my father did. I moved to an English-speaking country some 20 years ago though and mostly speak English today). My published books are all in my other language. However, I write fan fiction exclusively in English, for a million reasons, but mostly because it gives me a different voice I guess, and I can stay anonymous 😂? In any case, it’s quite interesting to explore how your voice changes between languages…

I love writing dialogue. It’s my greatest strength and my biggest weakness. I had editors tell me to look into screenwriting, and I always need to watch that I don’t write talking heads. I am not particularly fond of reading pages of descriptive text to set a scene (I don’t care about every tiniest detail of a wallpaper, unless it is truly essential for the plot and your name is Charlotte Perkins Gilman), so I think that has always bled into my own writing. I personally detest purple prose, it makes my eyes glaze over, and I don’t think it’s necessarily good writing to be ornate for ornamentation’s sake. It always reads self-indulgent to me and disrupts the narrative flow.

What inspires me? The human condition, psychology and philosophy, and although I mainly write (often steamy) romance, all my works deal with existential questions. I sometimes think it’s only romance because there’s a love story at its core, and I’ve definitely written stories that my publishers handed back to me because they didn’t fulfil genre expectations for romance enough (romance is probably the genre with the least breathing space, and publishing is a whole ‘nother topic).

Generally speaking, I think I just like people, despite being the worst introvert in existence (I am not shy, neither do I have social anxiety, and I find it important that people get that cognitive introversion is not the same as being anxious or shy. I can convincingly pretend I am an extrovert and have done presentations and performances in front of hundreds of people without problems. I can also start conversations and keep them going without trouble, and my whole life is built around human connection. But I can only do so much of it before I need to lie down in a dark room and feel completely drained, and I mostly live in my head if given the choice).

I like to write about human relationships, about grief and loss, also about trauma, but not in a self-serving way. I think the fact that I am a therapist (amongst other things—complicated life story) always makes me look at a way through instead of lingering on it, while at the same time acknowledging that these things stay with us forever. There is no life without them, but there is living with them.

I like to write female characters, and near all my works have female protagonists. I write both f/m and f/f relationships. I detest the caricature of strong women characters that seems quite popular though—they do everything the way a man does, have the physical strength of a man and generally behave like a bitch. I believe strong characters are not afraid of their vulnerability, and I find that a million times more interesting to explore and write.

Apart from that, I can work with most tropes and wouldn’t have particular problems with any if they slot nicely into the plot, but there are definitely some I haven’t written because there was just no opportunity yet, or I don’t find them particularly interesting. I mean, most of us are walking tropes in one way or another, but we’re also more than that. Am I particularly fond of particular ones? I don’t know. I quite like the idea of soul mates, and although it’s not always realistic, it’s interesting to write because it makes us think about what is important in ourselves and our connection to others. So I rather see it as an exploration of human connection than something that is the be all, end all. Funnily enough, I often write friendships that go into that direction, so it doesn’t always need to apply to sexual/romantic relationships. Even my fanfic has a female friendship in it that somewhat falls into that category, and it was important to me not to sideline it, despite it not being the main plot.

[rikeijo]

Today's translation #163

Yuri!!! on Life official guidebook, Tominaga Keisuke/Matsushiba Taku/Umebayashi Taro, Commentary on all musical composition in Yuri!!! on Ice

Welcome to The Madness

Yuri Plisetsky/EX

Umebayashi Taro (Vocal: Steve Mcnair)

Umebayashi Taro

　The concept for this piece is "the full view of Yurio's taste", but I personally was wondering what Lilia, who is a very strict coach, will think when she sees this program… (laugh).

Tominaga Keisuke

　For me personally the hidden theme for this sound [we were trying to achieve] was 'iconic vintage metal'. For example, assuming Quentin Tarantino were to make a live action adaptation of "Fist of the North Star", something that could be used as a theme song…

　At the beginning of the production, we planned to create an instrumental piece, but well, metal needs screaming, so I worked with Steve Mcnair. He has an unbelievably strong throat and his high tone vocals are just amazing… Recording was a lot of fun.

Duetto: "Stammi vicino non te ne andare"

Katsuki Yuuri/EX

Ensemble FOVE conducted by Matsushiba Taku

(Tenor: Kudo Kazuma, Soprano: Matsubara Rinko)

Matsushiba Taku

　To make this duetto go into a different direction than the aria version of Stammi vicino, we thought that if the aria has this sense of grandeur to it, then we should compose the duetto version to be more modest, introversive. We asked Matsubara Rinko to sing the soprano parts per Kudo-san's recommendation. The accompaniment arrangement is very compact - it isn't orchestra, but just piano and string instruments and harp.

　Just like the aria version, the performance is incredible. I'd be very happy if you focus on the music, too, while listening to this piece.

Tominaga Keisuke

　For the ending of episode 12, we couldn't use the full-length version of this piece, because of time constraints, so we had to edit it and cut off the middle part. At the very last moment, we made an edit in which miraculously the timing was just perfect for it to then lead smoothly to the last scene. When that happened, I have even thought that this show must surely exist somewhere beyond the limits of human understanding.

[calclaws]

People may be mad at me for saying this but I actually sympathize with Clyde and Stan in the new ep. Yeah they were douchey about it but it is difficult to deal with people with different communication styles. I think they all just need to have a heart to heart. It reminded me of how recently I had to tell someone that I just started hanging out with that I can't handle how often she expected me to respond to messages. I mean I seriously don't know how she got the energy to message me so much but it was really just an issue of introversion vs. extroversion. I both hate and love technology because I love being able to message people but also hate feeling constantly on call. I mean I'll put extra energy in if someone is in crisis of course but I can't handle being expected to socialize so much. I know this was about relationships and truly I can't even comment on that because I think I probably wouldn't be able to handle a romance even though it's my favorite genre. dsfdsmlk but I think the issue with Clyde and Bebe was that he felt smothered like how he says "she's texts me so goddamn much" which makes him sound like an asshole but....I get it. I think they just need to talk about it. And then with Stan and Wendy I felt that the thumbs up doesn't mean he doesn't care. It just means he doesn't know what to say. Maybe he's not a big texter. I mean in the past he also didn't want facebook because he didn't want to deal with that shit so I can see a personality type there. I mean when he's texting Wendy back with the app we see him doing things alone. It's wasn't even that he was socializing with other people and didn't care about his gf. I think he needed alone time. Not everyone is the best texter. Anyway I think it's more complicated than just the boys are douchebags who ignore their girlfriends. They all need to work on communication is all and I don't think they even have the capacity to say all that especially because they are so young.

(for the record I felt awful for Wendy in this ep. I'm just saying it's not so black and white....and of course Stan didn't learn anything at the end but)