#Introversion Records

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

people 24/7

it's the best and a curse

all they do is remind me

that i'm still introverted

[misc-obeyme]

Lucifer is an introvert. He tolerates his brothers but often doesn’t join them for things like gaming sessions or shopping. He sits in his office and does paperwork seemingly because he’s overworked but it’s clear that Diavolo doesn’t want him to do that. Which means he’s doing it because he wants to. He can say he’s doing his job and his pride will not allow him to do his job any less than perfect. And yeah that’s probably true.

But he also just likes being alone. When he’s not working, he’s in the music room listening to cursed records by himself. He’ll have tea with Diavolo and Barbatos - two people that are his close friends and generally quieter than the company he has at home. He invites MC to join him sometimes because he wants to be alone with them.

This is all classic introvert behavior. Lucifer is what you get when an introvert doesn’t develop social anxiety alongside their introversion. Confident, proud, willing to go to great lengths to protect those they love, but also just wants their me-time okay?

[gojhoes]

Flesh Wound

summary: Yuta shows up to his new school with a single goal in mind: stay under the radar. Only he lands in the direct path of the school's outcast- you, with your hemp cigarettes and permanent scowl. An unlikely friendship, dark pasts, and sweet nothings.

warnings: mature topics, TRIGGER WARNING: dissociation, description of self-harm, suicide pairings : yuta x fem!reader (as teenagers and adults) contents: slow burn, hurt/comfort, time jumps, no curse au, not canon, reader has piercings/tattoos/dyed hair (mentioned), aged-up in next part wc: ~7k

“You’re in my seat.”

So much for laying low, Yuta thinks, which he has been successful in accomplishing up until this moment. He raises his head to see your steely gaze threatening to tear him to pieces and his mouth goes dry. He's too startled to get a proper look at you, but he immediately notices your septum piercing and the dark kohl lining your eyes.

“Oh, sorry!” he says lamely. He scrambles clumsily to his feet and resultantly knocks his binder to the floor. You're staring daggers at him as you lower yourself into your unassigned-assigned seat, and he bends to retrieve the fallen binder with shaking hands.

The desks in the classroom are arranged in pairs, most of which were already filled by a body or a backpack when Yuta walked in several minutes ago. Upon a quick survey, he sees that the only remaining option is the desk to your left, and something tells him there's a reason why it otherwise sits empty. He smiles at you nervously in hopes to dull the tension, but you've already looked away to pull a pair of headphones and a book from your dark green tote bag.

It's his third attempt at his first day of upper secondary school, and Yuta has already decided that there will not be a fourth. In his head, he'll joke that three schools in six months is probably some kind of record, but the reality is that it's embarrassing. His introversion and awkward nature already make socializing difficult for him, so his new plan to avoid it altogether. The two vices have only increased in intensity since leaving primary school, but he's grown accustomed to being alone.

It's normal to him, to lay awake into the early hours of the morning as the knife of loneliness cuts through him and twists savagely. It's normal, he thinks, to daydream about having tons of friends who sling their arms around his shoulders at parties as they hand him a red cup made of plastic. Everyone eats their lunch by themselves outside on the sidewalk...every day. Even if he is aware of the truth deep down, it's much easier to cloud his conscious mind and live as though he's not really there. As though he is an observer of his own body, watching the movie that is his life from above.

But you looked right at him and ripped him from that daydream he so desperately clings to without awareness. Before he can put his head down and lull himself back to safety, the tardy bell rings, and the cacophony of students' conversations quiets as the teacher commences roll call.

Yuta is painfully aware of when she goes straight from Ogawa to Ryu, skipping right over his own last name. His pulse jumps- he knows what's coming, and regardless of how many schools he's been in and out of, he always hates this part. No one really cares to know him, but he obliges to limit the awkwardness and speed up the exchange.

"Please welcome your newest classmate," the teacher says, gesturing toward him with a smile. "Yuta Okkotsu, stand up, please."

But he's already standing, so he waves awkwardly as every head in the classroom turns in his direction. Except for you, whose eyes remain trained directly on the book in your hands, and Yuta swears he hears you tsk under your breath. "Please call me Yuta."

There is a unified murmur of empty welcomes and the teacher allows him to retake his seat. Yuta eyes dart around the room, doing everything he can to avoid pissing you off further. He catches sight of the perfectly painted black polish on your nails and pauses at a nasty looking scar stretching across your knuckles. Otherwise perfect hands marred by silvery tissue knitted over bone. You catch him trying to read the title printed on the cover of your book and you scowl, placing your tote on top of the table to block his view.

Yuta sighs as he opens his binder. He wonders briefly if the next six months will be like this, every day spent a few inches away from someone who despises him. It's not his fault if there aren't any other open desks, but somehow guilt riddles him anyway.

The next several hours pass without incident, and Yuta is shocked to see that you've done nothing but read for the entire class. The teacher seems to ignore you largely, even skipping over you when she goes around the room with handouts. You've said nothing more to him, so Yuta adopts the attitude that everyone else seemingly exhibits toward you.

There's a tap on his shoulder, startling him, and Yuta flinches as he turns around to glimpse the assailant.

"Sorry," says a boy with pinkish dyed hair. "Do you have a pencil I can borrow?"

Yuta waits for the jests and laughter to follow, but it doesn't come. The boy holds his stare until Yuta realizes he isn't being cheeky, and stutters out a reply. "Yeah, hold on."

It's already a few minutes before lunch and this guy is just now asking for a pencil?, Yuta thinks to himself. But he doesn't voice the thought, only twisting to hold out the utensil as the boy smiles. "Thanks, uh..Yuki?"

"Yuta," he corrects gently. The boy laughs nervously as he rubs the back of his neck.

"Right, sorry. I'm Yuji, just so you know. Thanks for the pencil."

Yuta nods, but as he turns around he struggles not to cringe visibly. Everything about the exchange makes him want to crawl into a hole and die. He curses himself for the ineptitude of his social skills as the teacher wraps up the rest of her lesson.

The second that everyone is dismissed for their lunch break, you're on your feet and tearing out of the room without a word. You are distractingly strange, from the piercing in your nose to the odd scar painting your hand. As he pulls last night's leftovers of kimchi stir-fry from his bag, Yuta's wondering where you've gone in such a desperate hurry. He doesn't notice Yuji standing beside him until the other boy drops something on his desk unceremoniously.

"Here," Yuji says cheerfully. "For giving me your pencil."

Yuta pauses to take in the packaged sweet bun that now graciously sits before him. He looks up at his classmate as though the kid is God himself.

Yuji gestures at the seat beside him. "She's scary, right?" he says. "I'm surprised she let you sit with her."

Yuta lets out a breathy nervous laugh. "Yeah, I don't think she likes me very much."

Yuji's leans in, straight-faced as he holds eye intense contact with Yuta. "Nah, she doesn't talk, like, ever. Ever ever."

There is an uncomfortable pause until Yuji suddenly pulls back and smiles. "You seem like a cool guy, so don't let someone like her get your mind twisted. Where are you from?"

Yuta decides he likes this Yuji kid very quickly. Since the seat next to him is yours, Yuji stays upright to chat while Yuta picks at his lunch. Before he knows it, Yuta has spent the entire break period talking (mostly listening), until the bell rings and snaps him out of the conversation. His heart is pounding, but he can't deny that it was a nice chat.

You, on the other hand, slide back into your seat two seconds before the tardy bell goes off. He considers asking you where you went, but his thoughts get interrupted when he sees you pull a pen and an actual notebook out of your bag. The lesson after lunch is biology, which is one that Yuta doesn't care much about, but you seem to be perking right up as you date a blank page.

The end of the day arrives at last, but the teacher has apparently decided that the torture of an eight-hour span of learning is not enough. Before dismissing the class, she announces a quarter-long group project that "is to be completed with your tablemate".

Yuta feels like he's been dipped in acid the way his body tenses uncomfortably. Anxiety deprives his mind of words, but fuck, he has to ask you because it's worth 30% percent of his final grade. And he's trying to be a better student, a better person, blah blah blah. So he follows you as you sprint out the door, unwilling to back down.

He opens his mouth to call out your name only to realize that he doesn't know it. You had given no introduction, not acknowledging him or anyone else the entire day. In the haze of his desperation, Yuta thrusts his hand out and wraps his hand tightly around your forearm.

You flinch and gasp loudly as you whirl around to face him, eyes wide with panic. Upon realizing it was him, your shock turns to irritation with a nasty scowl. "What?" you snap. "What the fuck, let me go!"

He loosens his grip and drops his arm to by his side, highly aware that you just screamed "let me go" at him in a crowded hallway. However, no one seems to be paying attention to either one of you in their hurry to escape.

"Don't run," he says firmly.

You're gripping where he'd grabbed you with your other hand. "That fucking hurt, you asshole."

He ignores you, even if he does feel a little bad for grabbing you as hard as he did. "We need to figure out our project stuff."

You laugh, sharp and humorless laugh right in his face. "I'm not doing that shit."

It's not often that Yuta gets angry, but he can't help but to feel irritated by your flighty attitude. He had come to this school for a fresh start with a plan to do well and keep to himself. He, of all people, understands the hatred of group projects, but you still have to do them. He wants to argue with you and remind you that it's not just your grade at stake, but he knows that it's useless. You're already halfway down the hall, and he knows that you aren't going to look back. *** Yuta walks into the classroom with a set jaw and squared shoulders. There are exactly two days left until the deadline to submit the first draft of the project. True to your word, you have contributed absolutely nothing and have not offered to help once. And Yuta can't stop putting it off any chance he gets because at heart, he is a procrastinator, and it's complete bullshit that you get to blow it off without consequence.

So, he is on a mission, channeling every ounce of confidence that he's capable of producing. He's crafted his approach very diligently; he's going to demand that you participate in this project. No stuttering, no softness, no taking "no" for an answer. The shred of confidence he's got holds true as you walk through the door with your head already buried in a book.

You're late, as usual, and Yuta finds himself wondering how you haven't been kicked out of the school with your observably poor attendance record. He's come into this expecting to be shot down, or for you to yell at him or maybe slap him with one of your hardcover novels. He does not expect the simple and submissive "okay" that escapes your parted lips.

Yuta blinks at you. "Okay?"

You shrug, closing your book after marking your place with a sticky note. You're looking at him head-on with no trace of evidence that you might be messing with him. "If I say no, you'll probably cry, and I don't want that on my conscience."

A part of him screams that he should argue against such a statement, but the surprise at your cooperation overshadows the usual bite of your disrespect. Yuta relaxes visibly as he launches into phase two of his mission: organizing the project.

He explains, "Well, the first draft is due in two days, so we should work on it as soon as possible," noticing how you frown at the end of his sentence. "What?"

"You haven't even started?" you say dubiously, drawing your brows together.

Yuta's jaw drops. How are you going to turn this around on him when you insisted you weren't going to help in the first place? But as usual, he holds his tongue and replaces the quip with the first words that come to mind. "Well, I- I've been busy and I'm not good at science-"

As is typical of you, you interrupt him mid-sentence once again. "One: you're a terrible partner, and two: how can you be bad at science? Literally all you have to do is read." You sigh sharply and pinch the bridge of your nose. "It seems you really do need my help."

If tolerating your backward insults was what he had to do to get you to help, then so be it. Your jests were something he was growing used to, anyway.

"When should I come over then?" you ask nonchalantly.

A normal teenaged boy would be doing somersaults at the prospect of having a girl ask to go to his house, but Yuta can only feel his anxiety soar as he grimaces. Every millisecond seems to last a full minute as he tries to think of answer. He hadn't thought about the fact that he was going to have to see you outside of school.

You can't come to his house, not with the state of it right now. Yuta would rather die than you lay eyes on his place. The lamest excuse tumbles out of his mouth. "Oh, my mom doesn't let me have-"

"God, fine," you groan, rolling your eyes. "You can just come to my house after school, I guess."

Yuta blanches. "Today?"

You glare at him, and he raises his hands defensively.

"You said "as soon as possible"," you spit matter-of-factly.

"No, no, it's fine," he says quickly. "Thank you."

He's never been to a girl's house before under any circumstances. He's nervous, no- he's terrified to be alone with you.

"Don't think this means I like you," you say as you jab your finger at him.

Yuta shakes his head insistently as if to prove just how much he understands. *** The rest of the day drags on, and by the time the dismissal bell rings, Yuta's nails are nothing but bitten-down stumps. He is so nervous that he's sure there will be sweat stains when he takes his uniform off later. He has a mental image of a bedroom with black-painted walls and a spiked coffin in place of a bed.

The walk to your house is short and painfully quiet. You move surprisingly fast, as though as you can't stand to slow down in fear of wasting time. And he's disappointed by the quaint house that you approach with your keys in hand. He'd half-expected a vampire's den, but the place is nothing of the sort. There's a lawn statue designed to look like a cat sitting by the front door. There are several large pothos plants hanging from the spandrels, lush and bright green- clearly well taken care of.

"My mom gets home at 8:30, so we have a few hours," you say as you turn to unlock the front door. "Want a snack or anything?"

The offer is kind and so uncharacteristic of you that it takes him aback slightly. He declines, silently trailing behind as you lead him into the kitchen.

Something soft brushes at his ankles and he glances down to see an orange cat head-butting him. Yuta smiles and bends to rub its ears as it purrs against his hand.

"That's Momo," you say. "She's super friendly." The cat rushes to your side when you say its name and you scoop it up easily with one hand. You're not smiling, but there is a softening of your gaze as you scratch behind Momo's ears, who has their eyes closed purring contentedly.

"Want to give her a treat?" you ask. "She'll love you forever."

Yuta grins. "Hit me." And you're handing him a blue tube with pinkish gel creeping out the open end. Momo goes ballistic, springing out of your arms and racing over to Yuta's ankles once again. He bends down to give it to her, laughing at the zeal with which she devours the treat.

He glances up to see you smiling a little, and it's shocking. "Churu's her favorite."

"I can tell."

You snort. "Let's go up."

Yuta follows with Momo on his heels as you ascend to the upper level. The anxiety has really settled in as he realizes he's about to be alone with a girl in her room.

He sheds the backpack hanging from his shoulders and retrieves his binder in search of the incomplete project outline. Your desk is impeccably organized and Yuta notices a pair of succulents on top. The single window in the room sits behind the desk, overlooking the street below.

"You can take the mushroom," you point to an impossibly tiny mushroom-shaped stool in the corner. Yuta doesn't dare risk facing your wrath by declining, so he drags it over to your desk and settles himself down awkwardly.

"So, I was thinking we do a visual," Yuta starts.

You hum, peering over his scarce notes with your brows drawn in concentration. "Sure."

Yuta has spent every day of the last two weeks sitting a couple of inches to your right, but it feels very different doing so in your room. You're still wearing your school clothes, but your hair is clipped back and strands of it fall into your face as you write down ideas. The light here is different, and he sees you from other angles. More than once, he finds his gaze straying to the exposed flesh of your thighs spreading across your desk chair.

It's a lot of back and forth, but eventually the outline looks decent enough that Yuta is satisfied. He's writing out the remaining formulas, feeling burnt out as he tries to recall the specific elements. A quick glance at his phone tells him that it's 8:02PM, meaning you've been at it for nearly three hours.

"Ugh, give me that." You reach to yank the pencil from his grasp, fingers lingering on his as you frown. "Why are you wearing a ring?" you ask.

Yuta glances at the silver band around his finger which has been there so long it may as well have been part of his body. It feels strange for you to be touching his hand, so he drops the pen and lays it flat on top of his thigh.

"It was a gift," he replies with a tone that welcomes no further questions. You're surprised by the hardness of his voice, only nodding as you hold the pencil properly to write. Yuta thinks that perhaps, one day he will tell you, but it's not a story he wishes to recall in any sort of detail. You're quick to change the subject, asking him to read off the measurements so you can fill them in. It seems that you're apt for reading the moods of others, so much so that Yuta sends you his silent appreciation. *** The weekend comes and goes all too quickly, and before he knows it, it's Tuesday again, and up in your room, you're arguing with Yuta about which colors to use in your project.

"Warm colors are not scientific," you insist. "Our project is biology, so it should be green. Life equals green, or whatever."

"Why do you suddenly care so much about the quality of your work?" Yuta shoots back. He's not angry, the argument being more so teasing than real. But he's learned recently that he kind of enjoys seeing you get riled up, so when you first expressed your discontent with his color choice, he decided to hang back and see where the altercation would go.

You sigh sharply and squeeze your eyes shut for a second. When you open them, you reach into your desk drawer and pull out something he can't see, because you've already shoved it into your pocket.

"I need a break," you say. "Let's go."

You're walking out of your bedroom with intention in your every movement. Yuta follows, letting you lead him through the house, then outside behind a garden shed. He's sandwiched between two feet of space between it and the tall wooden fence surrounding your home. You stand just before him, thrusting your hand into your pocket to pull out... a pack of cigarettes?!

"Come on, it's just CBD," you say, rolling your eyes at Yuta's stunned expression. "My mom knows a lady who rolls them by hand."

As if that makes it any better. There's a lighter in your other hand as you slip a cigarette between your lips. Expertly, you hold it over the small flame and take the first drag.

"What does you mom do?" Yuta asks. Neither of you have talked much about your families, but the way you speak about your mom makes him curious.

You exhale, and smoke billows around him. "She's a ballet instructor."

"Oh."

You're puffing on the cigarette as though it's natural to you. He watches the way you drag on it, counts out how long it takes, and he likes the way you blow the smoke out through your teeth. It's captivating, and he feels for a moment that he might be in a movie.

"Oh, sorry," you say, holding it out to him. "Did you want some?"

Yuta slips the cigarette between his index and middle fingers, observing it as he contemplates whether to try it. He raises his eyebrows at you before bringing it to his lips. "You're sure this is CBD?"

You nod. "Scout's honor."

So, he takes a drag, trying to copy your exact motions down to the exhale. He coughs a little, but aside from a smoky flavor on his tongue, there is no noticeable difference.

"Do you like it?"

Yuta shrugs and passes it back. "I don't really feel anything."

You roll your eyes and scoff at him. "You need to have more than one hit, dummy. It's not supposed to feel like much of anything."

He doesn't understand your logic (he rarely does), but he watches as you finish it off, flicking ashes into a small hole dug into the dirt under the shed.

*** "How do you get away with your nose ring?" Yuta asks.

He's sitting at your desk with his hands hovering over his laptop keyboard, halfway facing it while also trying to look at you over on the bed. Summer has come more quickly than anticipated and with it, the project's deadline is fast approaching. It's the weekend, but you called an emergency study session to start working out the fine details of the presentation.

"I get away with a lot," you reply. "My mom works for the school board so I'm basically invincible."

Yuta is pretty sure that he has finally met someone more emo than he is. Despite the leveling out of his relationship with you, you still give the entire school the cold shoulder, and aside from the project, the rest of your work remains untouched. You're reading manga in class now, having replaced your giant hardcovers with smaller volumes. Yuta doesn't know you well enough to know that you only read manga when you're doing poorly.

You take it to a whole other level, though, with all your frowning and the dark clothing. But today is different. You're on the bed lying on your stomach, wearing a blue tank top with your hair pulled back, kicking your feet while propping your chin on curled hands. You're more talkative than usual, and you seem relaxed as a warm breeze musses up your bangs.

"I did them myself," you say after a few moments. "All you need is a sewing needle and some rubbing alcohol."

You can google this, but when some people are depressed, their pain tolerance increases. Some meds can affect it too."

Yuta could only stare. "Right."

You always seemed to know so much about medicine and the body. Despite the lack of work ethic you exuded, you seemed really into the anatomy chapter in class. Since he'd started spending more time with you, he'd learned that you had a true affinity for science. You liked knowing how things work, how A relates to B so you could understand it better.

"Would you do one for me?" he asks.

You visibly hesitate, but your expression is a concerned one. "Are you sure? It hurts like a motherfucker, Yuta."

He nods. "Yeah, I think I want my left ear. Stop looking at me like that."

Your giggles fill the room, and it's the sweetest sound ever to grace his ears even if it's at his expense. "I'm tougher than I look," he says indignantly, smiling widely.

The work has been abandoned. You scramble from atop the covers and quickly murmur your destination before bouncing out of the room. You return a minute later with a sewing box, a red wash rag, and a bottle of rubbing alcohol.

"Come to the bed," you instruct him. He does, accidentally disturbing a napping Momo when he lowers himself down. You set the sewing box and rag down on the desk right on top of the script the two of you'd been half-assing for the last hour. He watches as you soak a bit of the rag with rubbing alcohol and turn around to face him.

There will be blood," you say seriously.. "Red so it doesn't stain, or my mom will bitch at me."

Yuta leans back on his palms as you stand to his side and reach up to hold his earlobe so you can disinfect it. The scent of the alcohol burns his nose a little, but part of him likes it. You hold him by the chin with one hand and rub small circles over his earlobe with the other. He watches you as you work and realizes that he likes seeing you in your element. Your brows are drawn in concentration, but your hands are steady.

You pull back, dropping your hand from his chin and your eyes meet his. "You ready?"

Yuta nods, trusting you fully not to hurt him more than necessary. You turn to reveal a sewing needle and the red rag from before. You place the rag in his hand before moving to situate yourself in front of him. He's waiting for you to go for the same position, but you're hesitating, biting your lip and you pinch the needle between two fingers.

"Uh, sorry," you say, and he thinks it's the first time he's even seen you act even a little flustered. You stand just to his left side, the outside of your knee brushing against his ribs and you're holding his chin again. Yuta's heart rate jumps at the contact.

"Want me to count?"

He shakes his head and squeezes a squishmallow in his fist. And then you're putting the needle in and he sucks in a breath. He makes a mental note to apologize to the plushie later because right now he's damn near destroying it.

"You feel okay?" you ask. Your voice is serious, concerned yet steady.

It stings, it burns, a fucking needle just went through his flesh, but the pain seems somehow faraway now. Your face is just a few inches away from his, and you're so close that he can smell the traces of hemp cigarettes on your breath. He is aware that blood soaking the wash rag you're holding against his neck, but he's too lost in your gaze to care as he answers breathlessly, "hardly felt it."

Your half-lidded eyes flick down to his lips. His heart hammers against his chest and he can see your pulse jumping on your neck. And he's reaching for you, acting more on instinct than rational thought. He thinks of sliding his thumb across the expanse of your jawline, of tucking a stray hair behind your ear. Blood roars in his ears and he lets his eyes flutter closed as you lean in, and his nose just barely brushes yours-

Then your phone is ringing, shrill and annoyingly intrusive, and you jump backward as you both flinch. Yuta feels hot, his shirt suddenly too thick and the room suddenly too small. He takes over holding the rag as you answer the call, getting up to go into the hallway.

Yuta's mind is reeling. He'd almost just kissed you...WHY DIDN'T HE JUST DO IT? He's cursing himself, cursing the cowardice that seems to be his default setting. What would've happened if your stupid phone hadn't started ringing?

And his thoughts are cut off when you burst back into the room and start cleaning up the papers strewn about your desk. Yuta notices the frown marring your face, any trace of your excitement having disappeared.

"My mom's gonna be home in like five minutes, so you gotta go," you say quickly. "Like now. Or she's gonna ground me."

"What about my ear?" he asks, rising to his feet. It's so painful and he's wondering how in the fuck you truly tolerated doing this to yourself.

You groan. "Yuta, I'm sorry, but you have to go. I'll text you what to do with your ear later."

And so he gathers his things, bids Momo farewell, and walks himself home with a bloody rag and a confused spirit.

Nothing like that happens again. You don't bring it up, and he takes it as a message to do the same. Even still, his mind will wander to the feeling of the tip of your nose touching his, and he often wonders if he'll ever get the chance to touch you again. *** A few weeks later, the project is nearing completion, and Yuta can't deny that the final draft is coming together well. He has spent every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon at your house while Momo oversees production and the two of you share snacks. He's learned that you prefer fruity flavors over milky ones and that you can devour an entire bag of seaweed snacks in ten minutes. It amuses him deeply, especially in comparison to the darkness you exude on a normal basis.

He's also learned that you love cats, and you sleep with three squishmallows every night. You have a green thumb when it comes to houseplants, and you paint every pot yourself. So, Monday night he asks his mother to get an extra bag of seaweed snacks so he can bring it to you the next day as a surprise.

But when Yuta arrives to the classroom that morning, you're not sitting in your unassigned-assigned seat. You beat him there almost every day now that he's doing library duty with Yuji, so he shrugs it off until it's well past roll call and you're still not there. At the next break, he shoots a text asking where you are, feeling awfully lonely without the usual annoyed glares sent from his left side.

Lunch comes and he's anxious when he looks at his phone to see there's been no reply. His thumbs hover over the screen as he debates whether to send another text, knowing it will annoy you, but his curiosity threatens to win the battle. Yuta glances up to see Yuji holding out a small handful of multicolored rock candy.

"I hate these," Yuji says, making a face. "You want it?"

Yuta blinks at him. “Uh, no, thank you.”

The other boy groans before tossing them right into his backpack, surely now gone forever. Yuta cringes a little, suddenly wondering what other…treasures might linger at the bottom of Yuji’s bag. But then his phone is buzzing in his hands and Yuta’s heart rate jumps thirtyfold. And it’s you (you’re alive!), and the excitement he gets from the three words you’ve sent is embarrassing, but he doesn’t care.

>the doctor >why

<you missed a quiz.

>idc

A smile tugs at Yuta's lips. Of course you don't. His fingers fly over the keypad as he types out the question that's been burning in his mind all day.

<am I still good to come over?

And you're quick to reply, making him wonder what was taking you so long before.

>u might get there before me but there's a key under the cat statue

Yuta is triumphant throughout the rest of the day. It's around 4:15 by the time he makes it to your front door, buzzing from how excited he is to deliver the bag of seaweed snacks. He glances around the porch, searching for the statue that looks like Momo to retrieve the alleged spare key.

The door is unlocked, so he concludes that you are home after all. He quickly returns to the key to its holder and closes the door behind him. It's dark inside, all the curtains drawn and the lights shut off. Momo is not there to greet him, and you are nowhere to be found. Yuta calls out your name in question.

There's a trilling sound as Momo descends the stairs and pads over to him, weaving in and out from between his shins. Yuta bends to give her some pets, but she darts away toward the stairs once more. She looks back at him before running up, tail flicking back and forth as she meows, and then it clicks.

"Oh!" he says. "Lead the way, ma'am, by all means."

So he follows, and as he reaches the top of the stairs he hears the sound of running water.

It's deja vu. He's seen this film before and is currently living in the end credits waiting for another scene that will never come. Is this the sequel? The parallels are so uncannily similar that it has to be a joke. It's a prank- it has to be. Your name tears from his mouth as he tries the doorknob knowing that it will be locked. And as predicted, it doesn't budge, so he knocks once, twice, three times, but there's no answer.

"Yuta, stop!" you say from the other side. Even from those two words, he can hear the distress in your voice. He feels desperate, shaky, and he knows he has to get you to open the door before you do something stupid. The words tear from his lungs,

"I will break this fucking door down if you don't open it right now!"

The water stops running. The only sound is Momo scratching at the door, trying just as desperately to get you to stop.

And it's you, and the sight makes his blood run cold. There are so many horizontal marks on your arms, and there's blood seeping from each one. Yuta is acting purely on instinct as he surges toward you.

He grips your forearms uncaring of the blood that's going to stain his skin. You're hyperventilating, hot salty tears streaming down your face as Yuta tries to get you to look at him. You're rasping something shakily over and over, and he's trying to get you to speak up so he can hear properly.

"Talk to me," he says gently. "It's okay."

He reaches to grab the washcloth hanging by the sink to press them to your cuts, but before the fabric makes contact, you burst into tears once more and shake your head frantically.

"No!" you cry. "Get the red ones from under the sink."

And it clicks for him then. This was not an isolated event, evident by the tall stack of red washrags and how you'd been so dead set on using one when you pierced his ear. You rarely wore short sleeves even when it had been so hot lately. He remembers grabbing you in the hallway at school and how you'd clutched at your arm then.

He holds one rag to each of your arms and instructs you to keep them there. On the bathroom counter is an assortment of pill bottles, each of which had your name printed on them with your date of birth. Drugs like fluoxetine, alprazolam, and lithium, all of which are ones he's been on himself over the years. A certain numbness flows through him as he detaches himself from the situation.

How close of a call was it? How long had you been planning? What triggered you? When? You've left him speechless, completely stupefied because of course, he should've seen the signs.

"Unlock your phone for me," he says calmly, handing the device to you. You comply. He scrolls through your contacts until he finds your mother's and instantly he taps the call button.

"Hello?"

It's a woman's voice, an unfamiliar one. Yuta keeps it brief, not wanting to upset you further by going into detail and acting like you aren't in the room.

"Yes, I'm staying with her until you get here. We're in the upstairs bathroom."

Yuta does not raise his voice. He does not scream, does not yell. He only regards you with sadness in his eyes as his fingers wrap around yours clutching the bottle.

"Yuta, why?" you wail.

It breaks his heart. It shatters his soul in a way that he knows is going to affect him longer after this moment, but he has to do it. Yuta tilts his wrist and lets the pills fall into the toilet until the rattling stops and the bottle is empty. There are tears streaming down your face and your eyes are wide with something that chills his blood as he glimpses you.

"I can't let you," Yuta says in a calm voice. His throat feels tight, like he might scream or burst into tears any moment, but he wills himself to remain composed for your sake. He cannot break when you need him so dearly.

You're sobbing as the words tumble from your mouth while you sink to your knees. "You don't understand..."

And Yuta's kneeling before you, resting both of his hands on either of your shoulders to pull you into him. You let him wrap his arms around your shaking body and he lets you weep. It's uncontrollable, it's animalistic, it's desperate and the sadness infects Yuta's heart. 17 years of pain, trauma, and too-heavy crosses fill his ears and poison his soul.

The two of you stay like that until your mother arrives several minutes later. Yuta hears the garage door open through the bathroom floor. You're still clinging to him, your sobs having turned into soft yet consistent cries and sniffles. He hears the jingle of keys and a set of footsteps that fly up the staircase until a woman stands in the way of the bathroom door.

You look like her, Yuta thinks. Your mother's tired eyes meet his and she thanks him. Yuta gently guides you to sit on the edge of the bathtub, feeling awkward to touch you so intimately in front of your mother. Your face is a mess, red and puffy with an empty expression that squeezes painfully at Yuta's heart.

"Yuta..." you say, gazing at his face sadly.

He knows it's his cue to leave, but his feet are rooted in place beneath the weight of your presence. He doesn't want to leave you. He thinks of the cries that ripped from your throat just moments ago, knowing that he will hear them in his dreams now. But it's not his place to rescue you. You'd said so yourself- you're not his girlfriend. So he squeezes your arm, keeping his eyes downcast, before rising to his feet and ducking out of the bathroom door.

Walking home is torture and sleep does not come that night. Nor the following, because his mind is devoted to replaying. And he goes to school that Monday half-awake and swaying as he stands in the breakfast line with Yuji. He sees your tear-stained face and empty eyes, the despair riddling your voice.

And he's heard nothing from you. No one at school asks about you, not even the teachers who see the empty seat that no one will take because it's yours. They see the dark circles painting his undereye, yet there is no mention of your name. He is so clearly on the edge of falling apart, but the world moves on around him despite claiming to care.

One week after that Monday, Yuta goes to the records clerk in the administration building during his lunch period. He asks for your emergency contact by name after briefly explaining your episode. The clerk agrees to give him your mother's phone number after insisting that he's your cousin. And those digits are gold to him, more precious than any gemstone money can buy.

"She's been admitted to a psychiatric facility," your mother explains. "We've pulled her out of school for now. Just want to give her time to get better, you know?"

All Yuta can see is you dressed in a hoodie with no strings and pants with no zippers as you trudge silently through hospital hallways. Your face devoid of all emotion, numb to the world as you recover from your dance with death.

Your mother said it's what you wanted, so Yuta had no choice but to let it go. So that following Monday, he goes to school. Not one person mentioned your name in passing, nor did they ask him about you.

But days turn into weeks, and months into years, and Yuta never saw you. Texts go ignored and every social media account you'd had was deleted. Selfishly, he feels that you've abandoned him, as desperately as he tries not to blame you in any way.

He walks by your house one afternoon to see a moving truck parked in the driveway as strangers, not you or Momo, march in and out of the front door. The cat statue on your porch isn't there, and Yuta's heart sinks to the ground. You're gone.

[pseudowho]

i hope you and the family are doing well!!

i was wondering if i could ask your advice on how to find and capture a nanami husband in real life.

what is their natural habitat? are they easily lured in with a propped-up box with freshly baked artisan loaves with kerrygold butter underneath? a hot cup of coffee too, perhaps?

Hi! It's a rough week, but we're doing okay.

I don't want to act like an expert, mine was purely accidental. I'm still not sure what I did to lure him in.

I just went for the quiet, angry-looking metalhead with a secret heart full of poetry. He certainly has his flaws, but he's got a great track record of trying to be better. I think what I can advise is:

Have high standards for yourself and maintain them. Your partner should be your equal/equitable in what they give in life. If you're not being supported emotionally, with household chores, etc etc etc then speak up loudly and aggressively to defend your rights. Similarly, listen if they defend their rights. KNOW YOUR RIGHTS WELL.

Get someone who hears you say what you need and instantly responds. Someone who hears you say they can do better and instantly tries to. Someone who wants to be better for you will grow and grow and grow.

Baking worked for me. If I give Mr.Haitch baked goods, I'm not sure what's going to get eaten first: me or the baked goods.

Introversion is not a flaw.

I like the quiet ones.

Go for the kind of man who laughs at other men calling themselves "Alphas", and who is laughed at by "Alpha" men for being "weak". It generally means they're sensitive to others' needs and aware of how they're feeling emotionally, which is an exceptional sign of empathy, that toxic masculinity looks down on in men.

Ultimately stick up for yourself. Don't convince yourself that you don't deserve better or can't do better and settle for someone who doesn't give you their all.

Go forth, lovely one!

-- Haitch xxx

[arvandus]

Hello hello, I know you're not really talking about him recently but truthfully i feel like you understand Dabi's personality the most. So i wanted to ask what MBTI you think he relates to the most?

So, as per usual, the weekend was a bit busy with IRL stuff. But now I'm finally able to answer this!

First off, thank you SO MUCH, it really means a lot to me that you feel I understand him the most. That's very high praise because there are some truly amazing writers and meta-analyzers on here that also have amazing takes on Dabi and his personality.

Also, PLEASE talk to me about Dabi! I still love him so so much, I'll never get tired of answering asks about him, truly. I know I haven't written for him recently, but I don't love him any less.

Okay, back to your question...

So I've looked at this a few different ways... First, I went through and took the personality test as "Dabi"; i.e., I answered the questions the way that I think HE would answer them (this is different from how others may perceive him, btw). I used the test on www.16personalities.com, and the result that I ("Dabi") got was INTP, i.e., the Logician. I also looked at what was listed for him under the personality database website, which was ISFP, the Adventurer. Finally, I simply read up on what each of the categories were on Wikipedia, and thought about it. From what I understand and through my observations of him, I would label him as INFP, the Mediator.

Below the cut I'll show the personality test results, and discuss them by comparing them to the other results. Beware though, both anime and manga spoilers will be present because I use some specific examples to explain the results.

So, from the 16personalities test, here is what Dabi got:

Here's the rest of the descriptors for INTP-T:

I think for the most part this is accurate for him, at least for how he perceives himself. But I think there are going to be some key differences between how he sees himself and how we, as observers, see him.

Let's start...

Introversion:

We definitely can't deny that he's introverted, and that's clear across all three personality types that were assigned to him. He's never meshed well with others, especially on first meetings, thanks to his abrasive personality and very thick walls. This introvertedness may not seem as obvious when one thinks about how badly he wants the attention of his family, and his willingness to go public with his past, etc. But think of those moments... of him recording himself, of him dancing in front of Enji as he revealed himself... think of those things as a performance. Think introverted theater kid. And even then, it wasn't exactly for the purpose of the public's attention, but for his father's attention. His broadcast? Pre-recorded, not live. His face-off with his dad? He didn't give a shit that others were there and watching; his focus narrowed like a singularity; it was only him and his father in that moment.

Another helpful thing to keep in mind is that Introversion doesn't mean you don't want to be around others; it just means that you recharge best when you are by yourself. Dabi still definitely wants to be seen by his loved ones, but I think he is naturally an introverted person in that isolation is something he enjoys as a way to rest and rejuvenate himself. I see him finding most people exhausting to be around.

Intuitive:

This was the one of the portions that differed from his MBTI on the personality database, and I actually agree with the test result more. I see Sensing/Observation as "the scientist" and Intuition as "the philosopher," and I definitely feel that Dabi is more Philosopher than Scientist. Whereas Sensing/Observation is more literal, in the now, and taking things at face value, Intuition is not. That's not to say that Dabi doesn't observe; he absolutely does. But he does so through the lens of his ideals and how all of these individual pieces fit together into his belief system.

Wikipedia describes Intuitive as "imagining the possibilities of how things could be; notice the big picture, see how everything connects; enjoy ideas and concepts for their own sake, and likes to describe things in a figurative, poetic way." While I don't necessarily see him as figurative or poetic, I do think he's a bit of an idealist. He's someone who looks at the bigger picture, who's able to extrapolate a lot of information through observation, more so than what's immediately in front of him. He's a bit of a creative genius in that way, and it's shown by how quickly he was able to develop his quirk through watching his father's battles, and later with his brother, with practically zero practice. Additionally, he's a dreamer, always wanting more for himself, even when he was young, which was why his inability to meet his father's standards was such a huge blow to him. He could see the big picture of heroism and what it meant to society, his family, and to his father (and by proxy to himself) and to not be able to see himself as a part of that picture was incredibly damaging for him. Now, this intuition isn't necessarily something he's utilized for positive gains, at least not positive for others; his focus is very selfish/self-centered in this regard. But he's still able to idealize, imagine, and extrapolate. I also think he'd enjoy deep conversations about morals and hypotheticals, and enjoy playing devil's advocate quite often. He never takes things at face-value, always looking at what's underneath.

Thinking:

This was an interesting one, and the one that I think I wouldn't exactly agree with as an observer of his character. BUT, I think Dabi would believe that he's more thinking than feeling. We know that he's incredibly ruled by his emotions in his decision-making; and I think he embraces those emotions a bit more openly once his big reveal finally happens and he's able to fully pursue his conflict with his father (and by proxy his brother). But, I think Dabi fancies himself as someone who thinks 'logically,' who is smart and isn't swayed by the hearts of others. We see this in how he keeps others at arm's length; at how he keeps a level head during the summer training camp arc, etc. But, at the same time, later on, we see more of his vulnerable side. His strangely kind gesture and words towards Toga was spurred by his care for her. His reaction to Twice's death heavily impacted how he battled Hawks. And of course, we see how emotional he really is with regards to his family.

Now granted, he would most definitely put a 'logical' decision that will get him the result he wants over someone else's feelings, in most cases. When it gets down to it, his feelings will take priority over others' feelings, 9 times out of 10. But that doesn't mean he's a Thinking type; that just means he's selfish, and that if anyone's feelings are going to be listened to, it'll be his own. This doesn't surprise me considering his history of being emotionally neglected, let alone all of the other things that happened to him. Typically, a Feeling type would have a strong sense of altruism for others because they can easier empathize with them... and I think a part of him does empathize with his league comrades, which was why he behaved the way he did with Twice and Toga. But I think overall for Dabi, his Feeling is turned more inward, as he's empathizing with himself. It's a form of self-preservation, a way for him to protect his damaged ego. It clouds his judgment in the sense that he thinks he's not emotional because he's not easily moved by others; and yet, he's very emotionally moved by himself and his own pain.

Perceiving/Prospecting:

This, along with introversion, was consistent across the board of all three methods I used to analyze Dabi. The definition alone from the test describes Dabi to a T; good at improvising and adapting; flexible noncomformist, valuing novelty over stability. Need I say more? Also, Wikipedia describes it as: prefer to leave your options open; see rules and deadlines as flexible; like to improvise; spontaneous...

By contrast, Judging is much more rigid/structured, which doesn't really fit Dabi at all. Judging is all about planning, organizing, staying on task and meeting deadlines... I think Dabi is far too ADHD for that (Shh, I'm not projecting, I swear!).

Just think of it this way: if Dabi had the perfect upbringing and never became a villain, what kind of job would you picture him having? Would he have a desk job, pushing papers and sitting through meetings, doing the 8-5 grind? Or would he have something a little more spontaneous, more flexible, something that would mentally (and likely physically) engage him?

I rest my case.

So, I'd say that there are two answers to your question. If you're really looking at what would Dabi identify himself as, I would say the test would be the most accurate: INTP. (he'd also really like the title of the Logician; it would totally stroke his ego!).

BUT, if you're looking for more what his "true" personality would be, I would say INFP.

Now, the irony of this is that I'm an INFP. Actually, I used to be an INFJ, and that's what I thought I was while writing most of this up. I retook the test earlier today because I was curious if my results had changed at all over the past few years, and apparently they did, and it just so happens to align with what I was assigning Dabi. This could either mean that me assigning INFP to Dabi is due to implicit bias, as I see a lot of myself in him and vice versa, and it's possible that the two have gotten muddled a bit. Alternatively, it could also mean that I'm able to write him so clearly because I understand his character and his personality in a very, well... personal way.

Anyway, I hope that helps! Let me know what you think and which MBTI type you think fits him best! 💕

[noferrah]

Everything Currently Wrong with Typology (And, How We Can Fix That)

Most people within the personality typology community consider typology to only be, at best, something to be relegated to merely being some kind of hobby, or a way to 'break the ice' with people. At worst, it's a waste of time, even a straight-up "pseudoscience". And, in a way, it is all of that. But essentially, the only reason why that's even the case is because we have been doing it all wrong entirely.

1. We're basing things on misinterpretations on top of misinterpretations.

While probably true for personality typology in general, at least to some extent, this is especially true with the Jungian-inspired systems. Nobody seems to know what Jung originally intended, or even care. Of course, there are people that do genuinely try to get an idea of what he had to say about psychological type, but they usually don't go far enough to get a complete picture, and, naturally, they're an exceptional rarity to begin with. The majority of typology enthusiasts never go past Pop-Myers-Briggs -- which is what I call the so-called "MBTI system" (for the record, the MBTI is not a system, it's a psychometric instrument) -- to examine its roots; where it came from. In fact, it's more common for them to look at other Jungian-inspired models, such as the Socionics ones, or C. S. Joseph's system, Objective Personality System, etc.

Why does Classic Jungian (what I call Jung's original system,) get so little attention? Why do so little people bother to take the plunge? I genuinely don't know. Maybe it's the lack of easily accessible resources on it, or -- perhaps more prominently -- maybe everyone just assumes that, since Pop-MB can trace its origins back to Classic Jungian, that they must essentially be the same thing. Well, they aren't. They simply aren't.

The problem started with Isabelle Myers.

When she was coming up with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator alongside her mother, Katherine Briggs, she, of course, had to read through Jung's theory to make a psychometric assessment meaningfully applicable to it. Unfortunately, though she got most things right, she got at least one thing very, very wrong: the "attitude", or orientation, of any given type's auxiliary function.

This single mistake is much more devastating than one may think at first glance. For the uninformed -- the rest can take it as a refresher, Jung often used the word "attitude" while talking about extroversion* or introversion; while he did use "attitude" to refer to other things, it was not uncommon for the term as he used it to be referring to either. Puzzling as the word choice may be, the reason he chose that particular word is not as important as what role attitude, in this sense of the word, plays in his theory.

With the majority of contemporary typology models, Pop-MB included, we often think of functions themselves as possessing a particular attitude. In fact, we treat Te, for instance, and Ti as being distinct, independent functions due to this notion. However, for Jung, this would be a misunderstanding of how attitude applies to overall type. In his own view -- and I can't stress the importance of this enough -- it is the person's own psyche who has the attitudes, NOT their functions.

What does this mean? It means that, under his model, consciousness is what is either introverted or extroverted, and the functions are then modified by either orientation. This also means that, in essence, there aren't eight functions in total, but only four. Yes, four. But that's something to elaborate upon in a later post. A more relevant-to-this-moment implication is that this means the auxiliary function of each of the sixteen types, as far as Jung is concerned, shares the exact same attitude as the dominant function. This changes everything about a person's function-arrangement, or function "stack" (god i hate that word,) in terms of how it manifests overall in one's personality and personal life. Well... maybe not literally everything, but pretty much so.

Now, I know some skeptics have read the last few paragraphs and are suspicious about the overarching claim being made about the auxiliary's attitude in Classic Jungian. Because I wish to keep this post as concise as possible, I'll present arguments for this being Jung's true intention in a later one. I also do not want to give the impression that I actually agree with Jung here about the auxiliary's attitude: in fact, I personally think functions do, in fact, possess attitudes, as opposed to the psyche, and that the orientation of the auxiliary is independent of whatever the dominant's is. (Edit 03/29/2025: I have since changed my mind on this matter.)

Anyways, if this all started and ended with Myers, the current state of Jungian and Jungian-adjacent typology wouldn't be much of a problem as it is now. Unfortunately, it seems that not only has nobody caught on to her fatal mistake, but that, in fact, the mistakes only compounded. It even got to the point that trained practitioners of analytical psychology (what Jung referred to his psychology as,) such as John Beebe, regurgitate the misinformation and add on to it.

Shadow "stacks", loops and grips, the distortion of conscious vs unconscious as it applies to function-arrangements -- take your pick. These have only served to confuse and mislead people as well as further damage the veridical integrity of personality typology overall. As per usual, I will save those too for a later post, or posts.

*Before someone tries to "correct" me: I know Jung spelled it "extraversion". I don't care; I'm used to the other spelling, and besides, language evolves. Respectfully, get over yourself.

2. The conceptual and empirical bases are lacking.

If you happen to be well-versed in typology, entertain the following questions: what is a "cognitive function"? Where's the evidence that they exist? If there is evidence, how do you know that it's good evidence? How about Enneagram types, instinctual variants included. What are they, where do they come from, and how do we know they definitely exist?

I could go on with every other system too -- all except Global 5. Why that one in particular? Because at least with that, it's very clear what makes a Global 5 type, and everything that comprises it, what it is. Not to mention it's based on the five-factor model of personality: the empirical gold standard of personality theory in mainstream, academic psychology. Why don't we have that with the other systems? Maybe it's mostly because it's harder to find evidence for and elucidate, say, a "cognitive function", than easily-observable behavioral traits. But I don't think that's really a proper excuse: it simply means the onus is on us to do the work and provide both a sound, solid theoretical basis and adequate evidence for the relevant theories that many claim are valid. And as for those that don't claim that... well, gotta wonder why that could possibly be. Hmm...

3. There’s little to no consensus to be found.

Speaking of conceptual bases, it gets even more difficult to establish those when seemingly nobody can agree on anything at all. How many conflicting definitions and ideas of things do we need? What exactly is Ni? Is it unconscious processing of information? Is it having visions of the future? Or what about Te, is it about productivity? Or maybe it’s looking for empirical evidence? Both have similar respective themes for each idea of them, but that’s not good enough. It needs to be explicitly said what the definition of each term is, and then such definitions need to be agreed upon and established as standard. And that’s to say nothing at all about grounding such decisions on reality.

4. We’re not realizing typology to its fullest potential.

This isn’t really something that can be immediately fixed, at least not entirely -- mostly due to the problems mentioned above. However, a good start is to recognize that the potential does, in fact, exist.

Typology isn’t only good for entertaining curious nerds or otherwise ‘overly’, I guess one could say, enthusiastic people. Knowing your type or the types of others, as a concept, isn’t just something to be considered “for fun”, although I will readily grant that it can have lots of recreational value if you enjoy that sort of thing. No, personality typology is much more than recreation. In fact, at the risk of sounding insane, type is one of the most important, if not the most important, things you can know about a person, especially if it’s a Jungian psychological type (not quite sure about the other kinds of systems yet).

A criticism I already see coming is that type, supposedly, cannot possibly capture the sheer nuance and inner complexities of a person. To this, I have only two things to say:

(A) Of course type isn’t a substitute for fully understanding the finer details of the individual case. There will never be a suitable replacement for understanding the complexities of someone, including yourself, by actually looking at and analyzing such complexities. However,

(B) Understanding someone’s type is the best way to contextualize those finer complexities and to broadly guess how they may evolve over time, as type is the very ‘blueprint‘, as it were, from which the rest of the psyche is ‘constructed’. In addition to that, knowing the types of multiple people provides contrast among them; it helps you to compare people in a relatively quick, yet meaningful way, even and especially if they share a common background, belief set, et cetera.

To put it in a way that may be more immediately connectable to your own life: think about all the times you’ve interacted with or have otherwise seen someone whose behavior, words, ideas -- anything at all, that you just couldn’t understand. Someone who seemed to defy your own common sense, maybe even rationality itself. Someone that, no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn’t wrap your head around. Maybe they did something that you found had no logical reason for doing, or perhaps you found that they believed in something absurd that anyone with their head screwed on straight wouldn’t entertain for even a split second.

You might have concluded that they were simply beyond understanding. I say that you were simply missing the tools that personality typology could have provided to help gain that understanding. Whatever that person, or persons, were and whatever they did, or were like, you just might have been able to get a better grip on the “why” behind it all by apprehending what their type or types were.

And that’s just one example of the application of typology; there’s certainly more (hey, I should do a post about that sometime later!)

Personality typology is very important. Which is why it’s unfortunate that most would say otherwise, because if more people understood that, we would be that much closer to understanding eachother so much better. And with the way the world is right now, I don’t think that’s an insignificant thing to want -- I think most of us could at least agree on that much, if nothing else I’ve said here.

5. So. What to do about it?

Of course, I’m not here to simply criticize. Contrary to merely taking a destructive attitude, the intent here is to also be con-structive and illuminate a better path forward. It might not be the best path, it might not even be good per se, God forbid, but I think it’d be at least slightly better than what the typology sphere has been doing for so long now. The attentive reader may have already noticed that I’ve alluded to a few things in the preceding sections, but now, I will outline everything clearly and more completely here:

First, we need to drop the concept of co-existing personality “systems”, especially when they address the same or very similar subject matters, such as the Jungian[-inspired] ones, to name just one example. While I’d never wish to imply that we can’t have competing ideas, I do not think that’s what such systems are at all, not in practice. As a whole, the differing systems, rather than being ideas that people ultimately seek to either support or disprove, they’re treated something more like different items on a shelf in a candy store. As in, they’re thought of as being arbitrarily selectable alternatives, with none of them being more or less correct than any other on the shelf. The Truth, capital ‘T’, isn’t arbitrary, and in following that tenet, we have to give up the notion that it’s perfectly fine to have ten-something different ‘truths’ at the same time. Essentially, instead of “systems”, we ought to have different theories in the scientific sense of the word “theory”.

Second, we have to return to the roots and start from scratch. I don’t know what to do with other families of models so far, like the Enneagram systems, or Psychosophy and Attitudinal Psyche, but when it comes to the Jungian and Jungian-inspired family, I do have a particularly strong opinion on the next course of action. We have to drop every single one of our current notions on what exactly Jungian psychological typology is. And I mean every single one. Then, we have to shift our focus back to the original source: Carl G. Jung, and carefully analyze what he was saying, what the implications of that are. Luckily, someone already seemed to have done this for the most part. Akhromant has, putatively, carefully read Jung, and then presented what he found here. Despite the resulting interpretation not fully matching up with the original model, I nonetheless find myself enamored by Akhromant’s work, and a lot of what I am to do (and, really, what little I’ve already done with this post,) on my own website here will be largely inspired by it. I’ve found his model, as much as he’d probably prefer I’d not call it “his model”, to be very powerful and nuanced -- miles better than Pop-MB, Socionics, or any other such model I’ve seen by far. Right next to reading Jung himself, I think studying Akhromant’s ideas and taking them into consideration at the minimum is a very good start.

Third, once the foundation has been carefully reestablished, we must take care to support it and to not let it crumble again by negligence. After all, at such a point, we only have a weakly supported hypothesis, at best. We have to refine our ideas and connect them, practically or theoretically, to already well-established ones in related fields, including but not limited to broader psychology, sociology, and philosophy of mind -- and if we can’t, go back to the drawing board and try again. We have to gather empirical data that lend support to such ideas, statistical or otherwise, in order to show to ourselves and others that this is actually grounded in or otherwise connected to our material reality. And most importantly of all: we have to be willing to give our ideas up if and when it ever becomes clear that they just do not or can not work. This last point may be the most important one of all. The idea here is to find the truth, not to stick to our preferred dogmas.

6. Conclusion. Or: to end a yapping session.

Hopefully, I’ve not only made my thesis statement quite clear over the course of this post, but made at least one person reading this want to see personality typology change drastically for the better, or perhaps even get the urge to look deeper into the matter themselves, too. Either way, I simply want typology to turn itself around into a proper science, because it has more potential than I think most even realize.

As for the future of this website, particularly the blog you read right now: the next post will be about… whatever the next post will be about. Might come in the next couple months, maybe not. I have more than a few ideas for posts, even ones not strictly related to typology, but I want to stay on that topic for now -- I just don’t know which post idea is best for doing next. Could just be overthinking it, though.

Regarding the more resource-oriented portion of the website, I hope to finish up the preliminary work for it in at least a few months, if not sooner, with stuff gradually added on to it after as time goes on. Expect a future, more-complete version of it to be absurdly detailed, as I want to cover any and all personality typology models that exist, from the well-known to the obscure. Feel free to suggest ones below!

Or, just call me a dumbass that doesn’t know what the hell they’re talking about. Hey, that works too.

[aspoonofsugar]

Akane + Kana = Blue (Shadow) + Red (Light)

Here come 2 great girls and 2 great characters! Akane Kurokawa and Kana Arima are Aqua's 2 love interests, but more than that they are key for the story and themes of Oshi No Ko.

SHADOW AND LIGHT

Akane and Kana are linked to 2 opposite ideas:

Akane is a person who accepts others' shadows

Kana is a person who gives others hope and light

Akane is the most perceptive character in the manga. She is incredibly sensitive to the people around her and able to guess their secrets from little details. For example, she infers Ai's personal life by looking at some records. Not only that, but people feel they can trust Akane and share with her intimate information. This is true for both Aqua and Ruby:

Both siblings tell Akane a part of their previous selves' story. Akane doesn't ask for it, but listens to them. She is so accepting, she is even ready to compromise her morality for others:

She looks straight at people's darkness and doesn't flinch. She welcomes the shadow.

Kana is strongly associated with light:

The acting who makes her famous as a child is her ability to shine on the stage. Not only that, but she chooses white as her idol color and sings about becoming a full moon. She brings light into the night and helps others shine. So, she fittingly becomes a beacon of hope for both twins:

Aqua is drawn to Kana's cheerful and strong personality and wants to see more of it. Ruby wants to help Kana, even when she is going through her DarkRuby phase. For a moment, her friendship with Kana brings back Ruby's inner light.

So, Akane is so empathic she accepts people's flaws, while Kana is so cheerful she brings joy to people. Still, their juxtaposition doesn't stop at what they represent for others.

BLUE AND RED

Akane and Kana have opposite color schemes. Akane is blue and Kana is red. Blue and red are complementary colors and they are generally associated with different ideas:

blue is mind, shyness and introversion

red is heart, impulsiveness and extroversion

These personality traits fit Akane and Kana and their acting methods:

Akane studies alone and immers herself into the script. She looks inside:

Her acting is understanding the characters.

Kana reacts to the people around her and matches their performance. She looks outside:

Her acting is interpersonal relationships.

Akane is introspective and focuses on the characters (blue). Kana instead is reactive and focuses on the actors (red). That said, the 2 actresses' color juxtaposition hides an additional meaning:

Ai is purple, which is the combination of blue and red. Similarly, Akane and Kana (just like the twins) are 2 sides of Ai. Still, who is Ai?

I have never been loved by anyone Nor have I loved anyone else

Ai is a person who has never loved nor has ever been loved.

TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED

To love and to be loved are the 2 sides of Ai (love). Akane and Kana too explore these 2 concepts.

Akane is surrounded by people who love her. Her parents genuinelly want her to be happy and they support her career and relationships. The same goes for her manager. Still, when Akane gets cyber-bullied, she struggles to call for help. Not only that, but later on she states she is not sure she loves Aqua:

In short, Akane has trouble understanding relationships and approaches them in the most complicated way possible. She admires Kana and wants for her to shine again. Instead of conveying her feelings properly, though, she starts a rivalry. She wishes to help Aqua and to build a relationship with him. Still, she both lies and silently accepts Aqua's lies.

Kana is instead very upfront with her feelings, but she ignores people's darkest sides, which makes her easy to manipulate. After all, Kana often gives in to others' requests, even if it is not what she wants. This tendency stems from trauma:

As a small child, Kana is abandoned by the adults around her because she stops being an asset. Both her mother and manager ditch her and nobody gives her work anymore. As a result, Kana becomes a push-over in the hope of being accepted.

So, both Akane and Kana have self-issues which prevent them from developing healthy relationships. Akane doesn't know how to love, while Kana fears to be unloved. These 2 complexes make so that Ai gets sometimes reborn in the 2 girls:

Akane is actress Ai, the genius performer, who lies to both others and herself

Kana is idol Ai, the girl, who shines brightly in her genuine search for love

Akane and Kana's similarity with Ai is why Aqua feels drawn to both in different ways. He projects his mother on his 2 love interests. However, Akane and Kana are not Ai, but their own people. So, their arcs break this dychotomy between them and show that they are 2 girls growing up. Not only that, but they are deep down very alike.

AKANE = BLUE + RED

Akane is associated with blue (blue hair and eyes), but her name means red. Why is there this contradiction? A possible answer is that Akane is strongly disconnected from herself. Or to better say, Akane has no idea of who she is. This is precisely why she struggles so much throughout her introductory arc.

True Love is a reality show, where the participants have to play themselves and flirt with others. For example, Yuki uses her true feelings as an inspiration for her performance. However, Akane can't do the same because she is confused by romance and lacks a personality of her own. This is why she is a genius actress. She forgets herself and becomes someone else. It is Akane's modus operandi and she eventually uses it also in True Love. And who does she become?

She plays Aqua's ideal girl. Not only that, but she keeps on this role throughout time, as she becomes more involved in Aqua's revenge plot:

Akane knows Aqua is not in love with her. Still, she decides it is fine to be used, as long as she is aware of it. Later on, she realizes Aqua has feelings for Kana, but accepts them in exchange of his honesty. Akane believes that with time her bond with Aqua will become the real thing. However, she is wrong, as a lie stays a lie:

In the end, neither Aqua nor Akane are honest with each other. Aqua violates Akane's privacy and Akane keeps silent about Aqua's father. She decides to solve things by herself, just like she did with the cyber-bullying. Akane is full of people who love her, but she refuses to depend on them. She tries to deal with everything alone and puts her life in danger:

She is very much like Aqua in this, which is why the moment they come clear they break-up. Akane and Aqua genuinely care for each other. However, they can't have a proper relationship because they choose to lie and to self-sacrifice.

Akane gives up her whole sense of self to properly play the part of Ai. Still, she isn't Ai and her break-up with Aqua is the perfect chance to realize it. Right now, she is determined to save Aqua by herself. She still believes she can be Aqua's perfect girl, one way or another. However, she is wrong. She can't and shouldn't save Aqua alone. She should open up to others and ask for help. In this way, she can finally break character and show her genuine self. She can embrace her inner red.

KANA = LIGHT + SHADOW

Kana is linked to light, but she is currently stuck in shadows both in her career and in her personal relationships. This is made clear since her introductory arc.

Sweet Today is a low budget production whose real goal isn't to tell a good story, but rather to advertise models. Kana is chosen because of her good personality and fame. She sees this as an opportunity and a sign of appreciation. However, the producer's words reveal she is being taken advantage of. Nobody cares about her second chance in the enterteinment world, but they only use her because she is convenient. Not only that, but Kana is forced to match the other cast members' level of acting. The result is that she hides her real self.

Luckily, Aqua is there for Kana and eventually she is able to shine a little:

This is a recurring dynamic between Kana and Aqua. Kana tries to hide her real talent for the sake of harmony on the stage. However, Aqua takes care of things, so that Kana can shine:

In short, Aqua is a healing presence in Kana's life. She feels invisible and unwanted to the point she is ready to do anything for some care and appreciation. However, Aqua gives her selfless support:

Still, Kana herself is unaware of Aqua's shadows:

She has known him for a long time, but knows nothing of his revenge plan, his past as Gorou and his manipulative streak. It is telling that when Aqua masks as Piyo Kana is unable to see through the mask. She can't because she doesn't know who the real Aqua is.

Here it comes a contradiction in Kana's arc. Among all the characters, she is the one mostly linked to truth:

She is so honest she makes her feelings for Aqua clear five minutes after meeting him. She even ends up confessing her crush on a stranger out of loyalty towards Aqua and her own emotions. Not to mention that it is to protect her that Aqua reveals the truth about Ai. And yet, she is kept in the dark of others' machinations. She is oblivious to her friends' struggles and seems not to notice their strange behaviours.

So, her arc should really be about overcoming this flaw. If Kana wants to shine, she needs to experience shadows. If she wants to have healthy bonds with others, she needs to discover and accept their darkness. She is slowly going through this process.

As a child, she shines, but is self-centered. When she grows up, she painfully realizes she has to value others more and becomes much more selfless. However, at the beginning of the series, she is being consumed by this approach and is helped by others to re-discover her selfish self a little bit more. She realizes she is beautiful when she steals everyone's attention and that her brutal honesty can help people grow.

Right now, she needs to reconcile her caring personality with her personal need to shine. Her trust in people with the knowledge even her loved ones can make mistakes. In short, she must find a way to shine, while helping others to shine too:

She doesn't have to sacrifice herself to be accepted, but at the same time Kana herself is at her happiest when all the actors play together to the utmost of their abilities. She must be the sun who selflessly makes others shine.

AKANE AND KANA'S ENDINGS

So, what will be the conclusion of Akane and Kana's stories? So far, it is too soon to say, but some hypothesis can be made.

First thing first, let's address the elephant in the room. I think Akane, Kana and Aqua's love triangle will resolve in Kana's favor. Imo the story has been very clear about it.

Aqua's reaction to Akane and Kana is opposite:

He involves himself with Akane to pursue his revenge and he is drawn to her because she resembles Ai

He stays away from Kana because of his revenge and his fear Kana is gonna end up targeted like Ai

In short, Aqua projects on both girls with different results. He projects on Akane his wishes and on Kana his fears. So, it makes sense that by the end he lets go of Ai's ideal (he says goodbye to Akane) and overcomes his fears (he acts on his feelings for Kana).

Of course, recently, there has been a shift in this dynamic. Aqua has in fact broken his bond with Akane to protect her, while he has started a manipulative relationship with Kana. Still, this inversion is due to the story entering its climax. It is in fact necessary to challenge all the characters.

Structurally, Akane and Kana do not have the same focus. Akane's storyline serves Aqua and Kana beautifully. She supports their arcs, while developing herself. Kana instead is the tritragonist of the manga. A lot of focus is given to her feelings and career each arc. Moreover, these plotlines have nothing to do with the main conflict, which means Kana is basically having her own story. Still, obviously Kana's story and the main plot are meant to become one in the climax. So, she is meant to have a big role in Aqua's arc.

Finally, a conclusion where Aqua and Kana are together fits both girls' individual arcs.

Akane should stop imitating others and discover who she is. For her to succeed she should go back to what she originally desired:

Akane's true desire is a genuine connection. She starts acting not because she thinks it is cool, but because she wants to become friends with Kana. However, Akane's strategy to grow closer to others is to change herself and become an ideal:

She wants to win Kana's friendship by becoming like her. And yet, this backfires as Kana is already struggling with people discarding her to favor other children. Surely, a girl who imitates her is not the kind of friend Kana wants by that point. Interestingly, Akane is mature enough to figure this out and doesn't really resent Kana for it. To the contrary, she deep down wants Kana to go back to shine, but her attempts to inspire Kana do not work. So, what can Akane do to grow close to Kana and help her shine?

Maybe Akane simply has to tell Kana the truth about Aqua. She could let go of her stubborness and open up to another person. After all, the only way to forge bonds is to show who you are and hope the other will accept you.

Such a resolution on Akane's part would help Kana. Kana's problem is that she ignores everyone's shadows. She can't hope to help her loved ones if she has no idea of who they are. Kana's test will be to accept Aqua's darkest part and to keep on loving him.

She will 100% succeed. Kana is great at pursuing what she loves, even when it's not perfect. She is the character who has been a part of the enterteinment world the longest. She has been broken and let down many times. However, she still loves acting and the people she meets in her job. She may not be a genius anymore, but she is a strong, dependable and flexible actress. She likes the enterteinment world despite its flaws and will keep on loving the twins and Akane.

This is why Kana is the brightest star:

She has more passion and attachment to life than everyone else.

[kumkaniudaku]

Speaking of introversion it’s actually so funny that Aaron is a hermit but happens to be one of the most gorgeous people on earth. It sounds like folklore–curious townsfolk must travel to some hidden land to awaken the beautiful wizard, someone who people think is a myth, to get a wish granted 😂

Aye that’s lit actually. Write that down! Reverse Shrek!

I think that’s interesting too, though. He seems like such a warm and fun loving person, and sometimes those people are the biggest extroverts. Add his looks and his size and I think we’re used to seeing men in his station want to be seen and heard. But, he’s a cute little smiley baby that loves his people and loves his records and mugs and his solitude. He’s so cute 😭

Then he gets Kelvin who is also super cute and gregarious and knows how to work a room and be the center of attention for a little bit. So they can be cute and giggly side by side and make each other comfortable. Shoutout to black male friendship!

[gorimbaudandgojohnnygo]

The Raincoats’ protagonists, who are also its authors, are young female mavericks alone in the city. They wander many miles of concrete streets and still more in the solitude of their minds. The scrappiness of life rumbles and tumbles along. They gaze at tube platforms and dream. With its defiantly shy temperament, The Raincoats is introversion as punk—a celebration of the female interior life. This is why its 34 minutes of clattering feminist outsider art have become spiritual music for so many generations of women, and medicine for the quietest, cast-out kids, odes to outsiders among outsiders in perpetuity. It is an ultimate loner album.

Released at the magic hour of the anti-genre we now call post-punk, The Raincoats captures the band with a fleeting but crucial all-female lineup. They lasted in this formation for only eight months, playing 28 shows together by the summer of ’79’s end. The Raincoats is the intuitive music of four people who were totally honest in reflecting the conditions of their lives as women. Four distinct and disparate personalities are harmonizing. In drawing on the various worlds from which they came—England, Spain, and Portugal among them—the Raincoats shaped their own.

In the late ’70s, many punks masqueraded as untrained musicians. But the original Raincoats actually did find their way in public, embracing the mistakes as part of their idiosyncratic art. (The band would rather call them “deviations” from the norm than “mistakes.”) The Raincoats audibly comes from bodies and rooms, each song like a performed installation. On this record you can hear punk in practice, oddity in motion, women in the act of becoming.

“We always felt like we played a bit beyond our ability,” Gina says. “We always tried to play things that were a bit harder than we were actually competent to do.” Or as she put it to New York Rocker in 1980: “Everyone is attempting to play in a way that will stretch us, rather than just strumming along.” The Raincoats found poetry in the vulnerability of this reach. “Basically,” violinist Vicki Aspinall said then, “we try to do something which possibly we can’t achieve … that’s why we may sound a bit shaky.”

On The Raincoats, minimal sounds are intricately woven together, like a piece of knitting. The album was recorded live with copious open space and few overdubs, and this space adds a crucial dimension: you can hear the instruments entwining, and this shines a light on their process. Like jazz, The Raincoats was collectively composed through improv and intuition. As in dub, parts slide in and out of the raw mix. The Raincoats thus contains an ensemble texture. Each instrument is a character, singing. The melodic bass, a trickster; the scratchy violin, a dramatist. The serrated noise guitar is lawless. The wandering drums dance.

In The Raincoats’ songs, imperfections become virtues—antidotes to the world’s pervasive perfectionism, which can be so lethal. The Raincoats’ ad hoc girl-gang chants become incantations. Its screeched strings and brittle chords become sacred. Together, this “scratchy-collapsy” sound suggests a disarming truth. A flubbed note is not just a flubbed note. Rather, it is a reflection of reality—because life requires mistakes. Punk albums, unpretty and unpolished as they are, prove this with their joyful noise—that in order to really live, sometimes you have to be wrong.

—Jenn Pelly, from The Raincoats' The Raincoats (33 1/3) (Bloomsbury Academic, 2017)

[windslar]

OC Deep Dive Questionnaire Tag

A set of 20 questions to get to know your oc! I was tagged by @matchalovertrait and @simmenycricket. thank you so much! since we're days away from starting his generation, i'm going to be doing this with Reuben in mind.

What uncommon/common fear do they have? Contrary to popular belief, Reuben is not scared of death and is actually quite fascinated by it. He is fearful though of his own mind and how it's wired to undervalue his own life and reality. He's so hyper-aware of how life is so fleeting and arbitrary that it's pushed him toward understanding the concept of mortality (and exploring the possibility that immortality might be out there in some other supernatural realm). So, to answer the question without getting too deep into it, Reuben's big fear is his own brain.

Do they have any pet peeves? People who say "no offense" because they almost always mean full offense.

What are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? His phone, a record player, a dusty old book.

What do they notice first in a person? Reuben notices body language and eye contact first. He is very intuitive and can glean how comfortable people are in a situation, and he usually finds the least comfortable looking person and tries to keep them company.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance? Emotional pain? 8/10. Physical pain? he may be a rancher's son, but he's a baby -- 4/10.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? Under pressure, Reuben goes into flight and retreat and hide out in his room mode. But recent events involving an ex-boyfriend who shall not be named have made him more resilient. He's got a little more fight in him now than he did as a teenager.

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? He grew up mostly raised by his mom, but his dad has always been present in his life. He'd say he's close to both of them. While he was in high school, his parents had a surprise pregnancy so he has a much, much younger brother.

What animal represents them best? A cat for the introspection and for being deeply perceptive. Or a humpback whale -- for the introversion and the appreciation for music.

What is a smell that they dislike? Reuben doesn't really like floral scents like lilies or carnations because they remind him too much of childhood memories of accompanying his mom to the funeral home.

Have they broken any bones? One time, he climbed the windmill at their ranch and he fell and broke his arm. And no broken bones, but he did get a nasty bruise on his behind after he fell off Maple.

How would a stranger likely describe them? Some would say softboi; others would say babygirl.

Are they a night owl or a morning bird? Night owl, which is exactly why he needs to get out of the ranch and its squealing-goat wake up calls.

What is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? Growing up with a professional chef as his mom opened Reuben's palate to a lot of good food. He's always been an easy eater, but a flavor he hates is liver. He can't stand the texture! As for a flavor he loves, it's garlic!

Do they have any hobbies? Playing the piano and reading vampire tomes and fantasy novels. He also swam in high school although he was no star athlete like his mom was.

Boom, surprise birthday party!How do they react to surprises? He would be so appreciative to the person who threw the party (either his mom or his best friend, Winona). He would probably hate being the centre of attention though. But he'll put on a brave face and try his best to make sure everyone is having a good time.

Do they like to wear jewelry? Yes, and I think more now that he's gotten older. He likes to layer silver necklaces. He's also thinking of getting some piercings... and perhaps some ink? Who knows.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting? Legible but messy. A little bit like his handwriting stopped improving in the 3rd grade.

What are two emotions they feel the most? Existential sadness and teenage angst.

Do they have a favorite fabric? Comfy, breathable cotton. Brushed plaid shirts. A vintage leather jacket.

What kind of accent do they have? Chestnut Ridge is in the southwest and people from that area typically don't have a strong southern accent like those from Willow Creek. That being said, compared to almost everywhere else, people from C.R. have a slight twang and a touch of that southern drawl. Reuben will probably say he doesn't have an accent, but someone from the city will definitely say he does.

I tag @wrixie, @dustbon, @natolesims, @druidberries, and @stefsimz. Please feel free to ignore 😊

[definitionsfading]

we're at the point in my nebulous character arc where a 480p potato recording of a GNR club gig from 1987 has become a comfort watch for me. I literally did not ask for this, the most random hyperfixations are just delivered upon me. embarrassing.

as I get deeper into the Bandom Lore for GNR I feel like it's super easy to dismiss Axl as a shitty person, but even if he's a so-called shitty person I still relate to him a lot 🫣 the need for control keeping him away from hard drugs while his bandmates were constantly high all around him, the heavy tattoos before tattooing was even really mainstream beyond bikers and gangs, the neurotic tendencies, his creativity battling with personal introversion, his love of cats 😂 AND THE CONSTANT OUTSPOKEN RANTING LMAO. we're like a different shade of the same person and I identify with a lot of the "undesirable" aspects of his personality because I see some of them in myself. I only wish I was as much of a go-getter and risk taker, jesus

[d0gt7gs]

　　(   henrique   zaga.   cis   man.   he/him.   )   in   krovograd   ,   survival   is   a   test   of   both   skill   and   morality   —   will   MATHEUS   VASCONCELOS   KARAJÁ   withstand   the   horrors   ,   or   will   the   city   break   them   ?   over   the   comms   ,   their   voice   cuts   through   the   static   :   “ON   YOUR   LEFT,   PRIVATE.   OTHER   LEFT.   FILHO   DA   MÃE,   YOUR   OTHER   OTHER   LEFT.   FUCK   IT,   I’M   SHOOTING   YOU   MYSELF.”   our   records   confirm   they   are   a   33   year   old   RECON   SPECIALIST   (BRAVO-07)   ,   assigned   to   GHOST   HOUNDS   SHADOW   PACK   for   2   MONTHS.   field   reports   describe   them   as   HONEST   &   CHARMING   ,   though   firsthand   accounts   suggest   they   are   equally   ALOOF   &   IRRITABLE   under   pressure.   there’s   something   about   them   —   something   in   the   way   they   move   ,   speak   ,   or   fight   —   that   brings   to   mind   BRONX   SNIPER   (   MISTER   HEAVENLY   ).   maybe   it's   just   a   coincidence.   or   maybe   ,   it   says   everything.

₀₇.　basics

birth   name   matheus   vasconcelos   karajá.   aka   mat,   vasco   [gained   in   basic   training,   it's   easier   to   say   on   radio.]   date   of   birth   1973   december   24th   [33.]   gender   cis   man   [he   +   him   pronouns.]   sexuality   heterosexual.   career   reconnaissance   specialist.   ethnicity   indigenous   brazilian,   italian,   &   portuguese.   nationality   dual   citizenship   [brazil   &   portugal.]   languages   spoken   portuguese   [1st],   english,   sign language, conversational   spanish 

₀₇.　career

basic   training   military   academy   &   spec   ops   troops   center   in   portugal   ranks   held   lieutenant   current   squad   bsaa   strike   squad   the   ghost   hounds   designation   bravo-07   specialization   reconnaissance,   intel,   close-range   stealth   eliminations   skills   hand-to-hand   combat,   gunmanship,   tactical   combat,   stealth 

₀₇.　analysis

archetype   the   soldier   parallels   kyle   garrick   [cod],   simon riley [cod], levi   kane   [the   gorge],   carlos   oliviera   [re],   etc.   habits   smelling   of   cigarettes   even   though   he   says   he   quit   years   ago,   distrustful   towards   strangers   like   a   dog   barking   at   the   mailman   until   he   stands   still,   back   to   the   wall   always,   glaring   when   he   doesn't   mean   to,   glaring   when   he   does   mean   to,   biting   the   hand   that   feeds.   virtues   loyalty,   charisma,   strategy,   compassion,   competence.   vices   introversion,   misinterpreting   social   cues,   hyperfocusing,   irritability,   reservedness

₀₇.　backstory

the   first   memory   vasco   has   is   of   his   mother.   she   was   a   journalist,   who   ventured   into   active   combat   to   record   the   stories   of   those   on   the   ground.   she   had   to   retire,   though,   when   a   grenade   went   off   so   close   to   her   she   lost   her   hearing   permanently.   in   the   memory,   vasco   was   asking   if   it   made   her   sad.   no,   she   signed.   i   lost   something,   but   gained   something.   he   remembers   thinking,   but   not   saying,   that   she   was   the   best   person   on   the   earth. 

he   doesn't   have   many   memories   of   his   father.   he   was   brazilian   military.   the   entire   reason   they   lived   in   brazil   for   vasco's   childhood   even   though   all   of   his   mother's   family   was   in   portugal   was   because   of   him,   but   he   was   never   home   anyways.   vasco   hated   him   for   it,   but   in   his   defense,   he   really   had   no   other   information   to   go   off   of.   when   vasco   turned   eighteen,   his   parents   divorced.   he   supposed   his   mother   thought   it   would   ruin   his   childhood   to   do   it   before   then.   when   his   mother   said   she   would   be   moving   back   with   her   mother   in   portugal,   he   followed. 

at   eighteen,   vasco   denounced   his   brazilian   citizenship   in   order   to   join   the   portuguese   military.   not   for   his   father,   who   he's   sure   would   have   loved   to   be   his   inspiration,   but   for   his   mother.   he   was   athletic,   and   his   hand   was   steady,   so   he   shot   through   the   ranks   and   eventually   was   recruited   into   nato. 

he   was   25   when   his   father   knocked   on   his   mother's   door.   he'd   been   injured   at   work,   and   begged   to   stay   while   he   recovered.   vasco   came   home   to   stay   as   well,   in   case   he   had   been   lying.

vasco's   father   certainly   didn't   look   like   he   was   lying.   he   was   sweating,   a   bit   purple   in   the   face,   and   looked   like   he   couldn't   breathe.   what   vasco   knows   now   as   probably   a   slower-moving   version   of   whatever   broke   out   of   raccoon   city   took   hold   in   his   mother's   kitchen,   and   his   father   went   rabid.   though   someone   did   show   up   a   bit   later,   probably   realizing   that   one   of   umbrella's   security   guards   somehow   left   the   country,   vasco   had   to   kill   him   himself. 

after   that   and   some   intense   psychological   evaluations   that   he   lied   through   his   teeth   during,   vasco   gained   a   keen   interest   in   counter-bioterrism.   it   was   well   known   in   certain   circles,   and   when   the   bsaa   was   established   he   was   an   easy   recruitment   decision.   due   to   his   decoration   and   competence   in   both   the   portuguese   armed   forces   and   nato,   vasco   was   given   a   non-combat   leadership   position. 

until   krovograd   takes   bravo-07,   and   it   started   to   look   like   vasco   was   the   best   shot   they   had   at   filling   the   void. 

[riordanness]

omg hi congrats on 800 again!!!! for ur event i have to go w i can fix him no really i can 😫 ok so the basics r i’m a cabin 4 ravenclaw infj taurus (i always start w these soz LOL) and also the ambivert final boss like genuinely i don’t lean towards introversion or extroversion and if the mbti had an a for ambivert i’d def be an anfj 🙏🏼 im a HUGE perfectionist it’s so bad actually i cannot function if something is imperfect i’ll lose my mind 😭 (i also have ocd so 🙁) when i asked one of my friends what the pros and cons of dating me are she said my perfectionism may cause problems LMAO😣😣😣 i get told im kind a lot so i like to believe thats true 🙏🏼 im super soft spoken which is a struggle cz im always having to repeat myself 🙁 (did a french speaking exam this year where i was recorded n when i say i was YELLING the entire time so that the recording device thing could pick up my voice….) im super super stubborn and persist in things until they go the way i want them to LMAO (this might be my fatal flaw) i refuse to settle for less in all aspects of life it’s either up to my standards or i’m not claiming it 😬 i LOVE LOVE LOVE reading and music those 2 r the most consistent things in my life !!!! for my type in men this may be a shocker but jason grace is an anomaly because irl + in other forms of media i tend to go for the dark haired sassy sarcastic funny guys (idk if you’ve read better than the movies but if you have wes bennett is a very good example of my type) some characters i’ve been compared to (because for some reason i get compared to a LOTTT of characters) are hermione granger, annabeth chase, rory gilmore (pre uni DUH), amy santiago, caroline?? from tvd? (idk her but my friend said i’m very similar to her so!) ummmm idk what else to include… i’m a HUGE germaphobe and get grossed out super easily LOL would rather die than go hiking or camping or anything like that soz demeter kid but not one w nature i just like flowers and gardens 🫣 i’m also super sensitive and have been told i’m emotionally intuitive!!!! i cry often about everything LOL soz if this is too long love u SOOO much 😚 also would like a pjo guy pls !!!

CYNTHIA HII (also idk why i always tag your other acc and not this one i legit always forget this url idk why 😭) anyways tyy soso much you’re actually the best fr

so. i put like way too much thought into this cause i didn’t want to just, like, stick you w jason bc that’s the easy answer yk?? BUT on that note, based on what you’ve said, i actually pair you with him?? like… if y’all were my friends irl i would ship you so bad fr.

you’re both perfectionists, tho probably in different ways yk, you bc of mental stuff and him bc he was raised by camp jupiter and literal wolves. so that would make it good for you both bc there’s nothing worse than being a perfectionist and living with someone who makes chronic messes (i can attest)

you’d both have really intuitive kindness and understanding of each other and others and that would bond you together soso well. also jason wouldn’t be a loud talker. like at all, so he’d be totally fine hearing you perfectly bc he’s used to quiet talking

neutral and very faded colour palettes for you both, light light blues and pinks and white and cream and gold everywhere (if you moved in together🤭)

jason would love to listen to you speak french btw

he does NOT strike me as a very outdoors person (in the hiking and camping and dirt way) he’d much rather sit on a porch with you and read than do any of that stuff (also he’s roman. they’re famous for their baths he would love being clean no germs here)

would totally understand your ocd and be soso nice about it like. this man would be so careful not aggravate you with unnecessarily untidy or uneven things like that.

music and book dates >>>

anyways y’all are cute i ship it so bad

[timetravell]

Did- did Margerat Mead create the first alignment chart?? I'm currently reading a book about her life and the history of psychedelics and on page 32, it talks about how one of her husband's (the last one) privately identified as 'Androgyne' which is a combining of the Greek words for man and women.

This is where we get androgynous i believe. (By that i mean the western usage of it, and an actual word for it in modern times. I'm probably wrong so don't quote me on that) But it talks about both Mead and Batesman creating a "new formulation of the relationship between sex, temperant, and culturally expected behaviors." It's the followed by 'social and sexual identity comprised a vast spectrum of forms, far beyond the binary of male and female,' mind you this is in the 1930s (around 1933)

They theorized that these forms could be then mapped in a 'kind of personality charts' that they called 'the squares.' Which according to the book, has an Y axis with 'northern (masculine presenting)' and 'southern (female presenting)'. And then the X axis had 'fey' and 'turk' Which were two additional categories of personalities.

I could not find what it looks like for the life of me, on the chart they mapped things such as the following:

Narcissism

Individuality

Introversion

Extroversion

Care for others

I've semi-recreated it? As the book I'm reading does not describe the chart very well. So I have no idea where those list of traits go

This is the best I've come up with, and according to them "recording these traits were a means to an end. For, they believed, by scietnificly identifying how a personality cur across racial and sexual categories, they would be ae to overcome the barriers these categories imposed on the world. A man and a woman from utterly different cultures might, in their system, be revealed as far more alike than two women or two men from the same culture"

Mead writes about ho toxic masculinity, and being deemed 'alchoholics' or 'homosexuals' from straying from supposed gender roles was wrong. Mead had a theory 20 years before historians had the thought that Gender and Sex be seen as two distinct things, rather than one in the same.

The book is called Tripping on Utopia: Margaret Mead, the Cold War, and the Troubled Birth of Psychedelic Science by Benjamin Breen

[aroyaltailor]

Send 📖 for my muse to read out an entry in their journal/diary about yours.

ACCESS: RESTRICTED DECRYPTION VERSE: LUCIFER 3-14, VERSION 7

SUBJ: Marchioness Andromeda. REP #: 456-VIP-457(EM) AGENT(S): PRK-008

THIS DATA OBTAINED FROM SURVEILLANCE DEVICES WITHIN 456-HOME-1. Additional: 008 personal recording device.

In previous reports, I stated that it was my opinion that we were wasting our time (my time!) with all these frivolous profiles. And yet, #457 continues to intrigue, leading to further complications in my assessment. Despite my initial reservations, there are elements of her behavior that I now believe warrant closer scrutiny.

As shared in my previous report, #457 is the non-identical twin of Marquis Andrealphus (VIP #456). She dwells within her brother's ridiculous ice palace along the outskirts of Imp City, in a spiraling tower observatory, and appears wholly uninterested in the political scandals that her brother seems to enjoy. This marked disinterest in the power games of our people's hierarchy has remained consistent throughout my surveillance.

Her secluded residence and the choice of a high tower, separated from the palace servants, suggests a preference for solitude and introversion. While her brother appears to have specialized in abilities relating to ice and little else, Andromeda appears to have taken a far more subtle path. Celestial navigation, and the divination of prophecies via patterns in the sky. Does this seem familiar? Clairvoyance, foresight, call it what you will – our family knows the danger of such things better than most.

If you've examined the photos included in this letter, I'm certain you will understand my concerns. You should launch an inquiry, at the very least. Our name still carries weight. If #457 is delving into matters beyond her ken, there may be little time left to stop her.

I look forward to speaking with you soon.

[ai-the-broccoli]

OH GOD. I finally realized just what that official comic of younger Luka/Hyuna slightly reminded me of

...and it is fucking Rion and Hotori, the Yuzuki twins from PMMM sidestory gacha game Magia Record (though with the extroversion-introversion part completely switched. and also they are twin sisters.)