#Insurance write off
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Story Idea That May Never Be Written
Danny almost 18, decides to leave home, Tucker has a new identity ready for him and everything. With help of Jazz he plans to finish his hs classes online.
Right before he leaves his parents find out/he got sloppy/ his mom freaks but his dad stops her and just hugs danny. He is confused, guilty, and hurt by maddies reaction. Tells danny heāll handle maddy and to just go as he planed
Danny moves to Gothem, for its high ecto levels and basically chill not give a fuck attatude. And other than the petty crime which he knows he can handle it will be great. He finishes his hs classes and gets a job at a mechanics shop.
Jazz is in college in Metropolis as she thinks the rivalry between the sister cities is interesting to study. And now she can use it as an excuse to visit Gotham and Danny.
Sam and Tucker graduate and move to college. Sam goes to Gotham U where Danny is taking night classes as he is now a full time mechanic at the shop. Tucker is at MIT, working at a tech help store.
A year and a half after he ran Danny gets a message from his dad. Jack is now living in Metropolis near Jazz. Maddy lost it, something about everything hitting her at once, the knowledge that her son died in her machine and that she continued trying to end him for years after, and all the things Phantom had to do hit her at once and shifted something in her mind. She was not sane anymore. She wanted to get Danny legally marked as dead because a part of her knew he died. Jack tried to fight it until Jazz told him that it would be good for Danny to lose that last tie so he finally agreed. Shortly after Jack had her assessed and committed to the hospital and then pleaded to the courts for a divorce so he could focus on his last remaining child Jazz instead of watching Maddy rot away. The courts granted it and Maddy became ward of the state. Jack moved to Metropolis and got a job in helping design security systems.Ā
By the time Sam and Tucker were graduating Danny had risen to running the shop only below the owner. Sam got a job with a Dr. Pamala Islie working on keeping plants from going extinct and trying to revive ones that were. Tucker was still working part time at that tech repair shop but was really working on getting his own tech/coding business more widespread.Ā
Danny finished his night classes shortly after them and got a good pay raise with it. Right around this time a big bomb hit Gotham in the form of Gothams Prince Bruce Wayne had returned. No one officially knew where he had gone, lots had begun to doubt he would come back saying he was probably dead. So it was a shock to everyone. And soon gotham gossip came to life with the stories of the himbo playboy. Danny could care less but it was fun getting Sam wound up about him.Ā
Tuckers business officially took off with big names using it such as (Queen Industries, and other companies associated with future heroes) he moved permanently to Metropolis to be close but refused to move to Gotham saying the lack of sun would kill his complexion, which sam returned with like you spend any time outside anyway?
As a year passed Wayne Enterprise started expanding, small at first building up their departments before adding new ones. Then the Martha Wayne Foundation hit the streets. Founding food kitchens and clinics and pharmacies that were cheap to free for anyone. It made a difference for some. Danny started to question the Bruce Wynes' himbo status as it was clear that this wasnāt just a pr move.
Then two years after the circus that was Bruce Wayne's return as the city quieted back down to its normal levels, the people began to hear about a monster, a demon that had been hunting the criminals of Gotham, a shadow that would leave criminals tied up for the police to find. He was a story that word of, would not spread outside of Gothams borders. Now this was something Danny watched and listened for news of. This creature or man was taking over the city little by little and Danny was protective of the city that had become his home. But he was retired and happy so he waited and observed.
Eventually they got a name, Batman. The cost for them gaming the name was that villains, not just criminals were popping out of the woodwork every other week. It was getting concerning to team Phantom, and all of Gotham in general. The press started to blame Batman for these villains' existence, calling him a menace and demanding his arrest. And Danny was conflicted. This man, for he was just a normal human as far as they could figure, was trying his best to save people, stop a problem that was not his fault but he probably felt responsible for, and now the city was against him for it. Danny did not enjoy the parallels and the reminder of his old life, but he sympathized with Batman and became a very vocal supporter of him.Ā
Eventually others joined Danny in his support of Batman. Eventually the people calling for his arrest were drowned out by those thanking him for trying to protect them. Eventually the police stopped chasing him and started working with him, even asking for help at times.
Time passed Gotham adjusted, as it always does. Danny was getting bored, he loved the mechanic shop it had become his baby, he trained the new hires and even got a couple to tinker and build things with him. But he got home and was bored, so he started experimenting with baking. He had learned how to cook over his time of living in Gotham and quite enjoyed making food for his family, Sam was always stopping by to raid his fridge since he started experimenting with making vegan food. They even got Tucker to admit to liking it. So the natural next step was trying baking. His first few attempts werenāt a disaster but they werenāt very good either. But as time passed he got better but then he faced a different issue. What to do with all the deserts. Everyone he knew was given some, and then the rest were donated to a food kitchen. At Jazzes' suggestion Danny applied to work part time at a small bakery. It was right on the outskirts of Crime alley run by a couple of older ladies and their son. Danny got to bake and work on improving recipes and they got to sell what he made. Though they did try to set him up with their son several times after finding out Danny was bi. So life settled.
Then Batman got a partner, a child partner, and Danny got upset. He had been a child vigilante, he had barely survived being a chile vigilante. Danny who took in and trained as many street kids as he could at the shop. Danny who proudly watched those kids become adults and make it in Gotham. Danny who kept an eye on all the heroes popping up around the globe, and knew that none of them had brought kids into it. Danny who thought about āhisā kids as he dug into Robin and realized that Batman was trying to protect the kid in the ways he knew how, and that Robin probably just like his kids didnāt really listen when you tell them no if theyāve set their mind on it. So Danny was still worried but no longer upset with Batman.Ā
Then Bruce Wayne started showing up at the bakery.
Bruce is a total dork who struggles with basic human interactions at times. So at a cafe/bakery he tells the 17yo cashier, āCompliments to the chiefā like a weirdo. She awkwardly hollers back to Danny, who comes out confused.
Bruce has oh fuck hes hot.
*story happens in between but I don't know what*
Something happens Danny speeds away on his bike. Eventually taking it off a bridge into the water before going invisible and flying to his dads in Metropolis. He goes to the realms to lay low for two weeks after visiting with his dad for a couple days. He has to come back because one of his kids is getting married
Bruce who is crushing on Danny, is worried and talks to people. The ladies at the bakery point him in the direction of the mechanic shop. No one there is worried, they say Danny built that bike from the ground up, he has complete control of it, it couldnāt do something if he didnāt want it to. Plus Jerramy is getting married next month and Danny wouldnāt miss that, heāll be back.Ā Bruce thinks these people are delusional and still worries and tries to find anything. He finds nothing but dick and Alfred have figured out that he definitely doesnāt have a crush guys, the mission.Ā
Danny shows up two and a half weeks later just in time to pick up his suit for the wedding. Bruce is kinda losing it.Ā
#dpxdc#dcxdp#Danny is older than Bruce by 5 or more years#mechanic Danny Fenton#Sam and Ivy are besties#good Jack Fenton#he loves his kids so much#Danny is single handedly training and employing most of the Crime Ally kids#he does not have a problem guy's#Jason Todd is 100% one of his kids#it why he has the tire iron and knows how to take the tires off the batmobile#the batmobiles tires are not easily removed#Bruce x Danny#it's optional#they could just be pals#im ace and can't write romance anyway#Danny might have committed insurance fraud to get money for college before his old identity got declared dead#please use any of this!#i may write this or beg someone to tag me if you write it
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I hate my job, man. Iāve told my boss so many times ācan we please switch everyone over to printed forms instead of handwritingā and she waves me off saying sheāll talk to them about it. She never has.
no one listens.
What does this say? mulan? mulah? mulaw?
Nope, itās mularo.
ok. Now the patients results have been delayed cause we couldnāt read the damn name.
guess what, we couldnāt read the insurance ID either so itās delayed even more.
I requested that they clarify the name and insurance ID. They only sent the name. Theyāre closed on Fridays.
You have delayed the results a whole 4 days, congrats.
Then they complain to us that the results are delayed. Amazing.
I wonder why.
#it just. pisses me off so much that I have to call this stupid office multiple times a week#because they refuse to write things properly#and have the same person writing everything#JUST FUCKING PRINT IT OUT OR SCAN THE INSURANCE CARD#stop getting annoyed that we have to call you and fix the damn problem that you caused :|#and then they spam call us daily asking if the results are ready#I genuinely donāt know how these small clinics stay open when they donāt even check if the patients insurance is active beforehand#actually the most annoying part#is that when I call the front desk acts suspicious as if it hasnāt been me. the same person. calling multiple times a week.#from the same number which you could look up and find our office.#so the point is- the front desk will never give me any information. even if Iām just asking to clarify a date of birth or somethin simple#I have to wait till the nurse is available#to answer my damn question#itās 9 am itās too early for this.#edit: why are ppl reblogging this#nuh uh
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look I am one bad day away from writing smut of my OCs and two bad days away from posting it
#*MY OCS ARE 25 YEARS OLD#25#THEY CAN RENT A CAR#IVY IS ALMOST INELIGABLE TO BE ON HER DAD'S HEALTH INSURANCE#(august got disowned at 15 so shes been off her family's health insurance for a while)#THEY CAN BE HOMEOWNERS#i can write about them lezzing out. as a treat.
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i know most ppl on tumblr wouldnt think this the amount of ppl who qualify any mister beast crit with "but the good hes done isnt undone by this!"
honey u think hes doing anything actually good?
#lots of charities are basically tax write offs for the rich (like him)#putting up random building in countries that need it can be food but 1) white savior vibes and 2) often built cheaply or poorly or to push#values onto those ppl or 3) need to be accompanied by broaded strokes measures theyre not interested in#4) 'random ppl' he throws money at are exploited or their lives are not improved in the long run (for example they couldnt buy like. a#a better car with the money bc they coulsnt afford taxes or insurance and MOST ppl wouldnt know how to use it 'wisely'l
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I GOT MY DEGREE ššš¢š¦āā¬š¦ š
#( š š¬š®š©š©šØš¬š š š¬š”šØš®š„š šš š¢š§š¬š®š„ššš ā out of character )#( i got it with 7.5/10 and i am now expecting the date as to when i will receive the official papyrus#( but i am so happy and excited 5 YEARS IN PROGRAMMING SCHOOL PAID OFF#( now if you don't write with me i can officially hack your life insurance š¹šŖ fjskskalal
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there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.
#today is an absolutely wretched pain day that makes me want to not be here anymore but guess what!#wasted a whole year trying to convince my doctors I was in significant and disableing pain daily and the best they could do#is tell me to go to PT and to wait 6 months and tell them if it gets better#to prescribe some shit like gabapentin or otc pain meds and write me off#tell me they'll get new X-rays to see if it got worse by the summer#disability exists!! specialists exist! good doctors fucking exist!! somewhere!!! I'm sure!!#but here I sit. in excruciating amounts of pain unable to convince any fucking doctors of anything#and that year I spent pushing myself to the limit is wasted bc at the very end of it all only one guy listened to me#and he said no one in their giant ass facility could diagnose me#so I'm back to square one bc I got a new job which means new insurance and new doctors to try and convince again#I just want to be on disability so i can want to be alive again#I'm so frustrated and in pain constantly#what are people like me who have to work 40hrs to afford to live but don't have any family to rely on supposed to do??#just die? am i supposed to continue to work until im too disabled to move and be profitable unless i get lucky?#bc some fucking doctor finally decides to actually listen???#ive tried ALL THE DAMN TRICKS TOO. telling them a friend has it and thats how i found out. that my previous doctor was looking into it#etc etc#I'm SO done living like this i am exhausted.#and to know that i COULD BE HELPED. RIGHT NOW. is the worst fucking part#these systems are in place so people like me dont have to fucking suffer.#but i cant even do anything about it bc i have a cat.
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I don't have a lot of energy these days [because of The Horrors] so I'm looking at my day and my priorities and trying to plan how I'm going to spend what energy I have, because I do need to be able to rest and relax but there are also things that need doing and that is a careful balance for me.
I managed to [mostly] clean the kitchen last night so I've kicked it out of the priority list until next weekend. Unfortunately the living room, bathroom, bedroom, and my office all need cleaning too. I think of the priorities, my office and the bedroom are the most important to me, so I'll probably push the living room and bathroom until at least Friday.
There's also the laundry. I don't have any clean clothes and as we're moving into winter I need to be more rigid about getting that done because days where the clothes can be dried on the line will be more limited. So I definitely need to wash an outfit or two and hang them up in the next hour.
That's already a really busy day, so I'll probably cut it there. But it's definitely going to still leave me a lot of work this week. Half my cleaning, at least one more round of laundry, settling dog food for the next couple of weeks, planting the fall/winter greens, doing some set up work on my computer, work on some writing projects, cleaning out the fridge, and patching some worn clothes. My work week isn't insane atm, but it is definitely limiting. Right now I have 6+4+0+4+2+5+5= 25 non work/non-survival needs (sleep, food, shower, etc) hours available each week. I need to figure out a regukar distribution of these that means everything is getting done and I still have an hour a day to myself as often as possible. I think it's probably not realistic to give myself more than an hour a day for free time/fun, which is a bit unfortunate because I've found in the past that my floor tends to be getting 2-3hrs of free time most days because of how I deal with transition and decision-making.
25-7 [1hr per day] is 18 hrs, so I just need to decide where and how to distribute those in order to keep pace with things.
Lets say the garden needs 3hrs per week, the laundry needs 4 hours (specifically 2 sets of 2 morning/early afternoon hours), the cleaning needs an hour a day to get through a maintenance clean of the house, and 3 hours once a week to work down any deep cleaning that's built up. Which is....already three more hours than I actually have each week. So I guess I'll make a plan to work in the garden for 20-40min of 4 of my free hours each week.
It really doesn't leave me any wiggle room. Only about 4 hours a week that isn't explicitly allotted to something that needs doing, which means there will probably me a lot of weeks where I only get an hour or so at best across the whole thing for free time. I guess I've had a hard time accepting that at this point, having actual time for myself or a time-intensive project is only available if I've taken a day off work. I love my job, but it's ... not comfortable to realize that it's the only love in my life I actually have time for anymore.
I think that's probably why I end up here so much. It's this mindless little way of zoning out into my own head, dissociating away from the exhaustion, for a few minutes at a time. I keep thinking I want to use this space differently, make it more if the things I enjoy. But I think what I really want is just to actually have the time and energy to do things I love that take work. I keep crying a few times every day and I couldn't figure out why, but like
I dunno
Why **wouldn't** I cry a little every day? It's the closest I'm getting to actual emotional release or relaxation in my life. We'd probably all cry. Heck. A lot of us probably DO, capitalism being what it is.
I guess I'm starting to wonder why I'm doing what I'm doing. What is there left for me to sacrifice to this life? What is actually serving me about not just letting myself go up like a fireball and take my surroundings with me? What in the ever loving fuck am I fighting this hard for?
All I ever want, all I want now, is to be able to live. To really, actually live. How does wanting to live bring you this close to killing yourself, whether on accident or on purpose? What am I actually doing that is LIVING and what am I doing that is FACILITATION of living? It can't all be facilitation, or I'm not actually facilitating fuck all.
I'm 30 goddamn years old and I need to figure out what it looks like to actually love my life. I fundamentally refuse to zombify myself like this for everyone else around me forever.
#i really wanted to believe that if i just sat down and did the math i'd be able to figure it out.#but there is literally not enough time in the day for me to do all this.#i suppose i could sleep less. it's...not great for me to get less than 9 hrs a day#but i could probably pull it off for brief stints#a week on a week off or something#get an extra two hours a day that way#and then of course there's my old go to#i could just stop eating or taking care of myself#lord knows it's my well-being that restri ts my time more than anything else#and if i work myself to death like mom did instead of committing suicide at least the life insurance pays out#in case anyone gives wifey inheritance trouble#i already don't eat until dinner so that part won't give me a TON of extra time#but an hour a day at the end of the night to write does sound lovely so it might be worth it#on the weeks i sleep less i could use my 2 extra hours a day to do ingredient prep so that wifey's food doesn't go to waste as much#maybe even work on the garden and the yard's facilities a bit. i have a few projects that need time and attention so those'd fot in#if i cut my pain meds too i could put an extra $50/week back in my budget and i could use that for project supplies and emergency funds#god even thinking about this is making me so tired.#i don't know what this will leave of me#i've been doing this so long now#feels like the last time i remember having a consistent hour to myself every day was my BA sophomore year#and that was the first time too lmao#i'd spent high school waking up at 3am every day after going to bed at 12am because I needed to do my hw in the mornings#my bus left at 7:30am and i had to do all my paper assignments - make myself lunch for the day - wash dishes/tidy the kitchen - and THEN#i could finally make sure i had my shit together for the bus and maybe nap for 5min#then i didn't get home from school until 4pm and i had to fix the kitchen from whatever my parents did before i got back#then make dinner for the family#then clean the living room from whatever the pets had dome all day#then take the dog for her nightly walk and take a shower#and usually sometime after dinner around 9pm I would get permission to run to my room and try to get a head start on my hw before 11pm#that was my lights out curfew so it gave me a blessed single guaranteed hour to do something for me.....assuming i could stay conscious
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Writing has become such a lost concept to me.
It used to be, I would have a thought, and I would immediately have to stop what I was doing to record it before I lost it. I had to act on it. Like an impulse. I couldnāt wait to flesh out the rest of the idea, the line, the scene, the moment. It was a need, a high, a rush. I was fulfilling some sort of instinct, the finished product was end game. Self soothing for a unsatisfying life.
Now? I have a thought. It stays secluded in the recesses of my brain. It tumbles around for months, even years. There is a resistance preventing it from getting further. A glass ceiling if you will. Trapped. Why would it go anywhere when it canāt help solve any problem I have right now? The need to self soothe has vanished. Why self soothe when life is so meaningless? Itās embarrassing to need.
And instead I go to TikTok.
*note- the first description was active and alive from ages 13-late twenties. The secondary process occurs now as Iām in my thirties. I do believe age, responsibilities and other issues have ruined every thing I used to hold dear.
CC: 4 empty journals sitting on my book shelf collecting dust since 2019.
#personal#rant#writing has done nothing to improve my life#I canāt make money off it#I failed in using it as a career and escape from an unsatisfactory life#so why should I waste anymore time towards it#if I held on to hope for a writing gig#I would be broke ass with no car no savings and no health insurance#itās so close and yet so far#Iāve had one niche lately#Iām not looking for sympathy#I just hope that anyone who hoped for writing as a livelihood reconsiders#donāt make my mistakes
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it's 911 day guys. i'm uh. i feel fear.
#chuck posting.#i think bobby will be fine ngl#hes gotta wake up#i imagine his recovery is gonna take a long time#so he'll either take leave or retire#theyre not gonna write bobby off the show#also i think it was the cartel that started the fire. not amir#bc amir might feel distaste and anger towards bobby#but he doesnt seem like the murdery type#and the cartel stole bobbys car and there has to be like#car insurance or smthn with his address on it in there#ANYWAY
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writing one (1) stupid cheesy romcom-esque christmas fic per year is a full-time job. tbh
#taylor.txt#i did not write one last year actually! or in 2021 (though i wrote one that was SET at christmastime so. counrs imo)#but i have an idea i just need finals to end so i can write it#im in my eating off paper plates because my brain is too broken to run the dishwasher era#but like. if i can just finish these last two exams and file some insurance things and clean my apartment and do my christmas shopping#all of which have a hard deadline of like. sunday next week. so it will get done#but anyway if i can do all that shit then i will be free to write. and i will make that everyone elseās problem#youve heard this before butā¦ā¦ā¦maybe while iām at it iāll even fill up my queue :p
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girl help i thought about art as a form of repentance and an apology to the world and now i have SO much to talk to my therapist about on monday
#but my insurance is Cutting Me Off this week so im being released back into the real world. so we'll see what happens! LMAO#but yeah anyway. the absolute Insane Mental State of every piece of art u make being an Apology for Everything About You. crazy!#if i could stop apologizing i would! etc. but the urge to make everything as a way to Apologize and Repent for Being is insane. anyWAY#drawing as an apology..... writing as an apology.... DMing and making playlists and moodboards as an apology.....#ok i have a lot to think about JKLSDFLKDSFLKJ
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#this isn't at all surprising but it IS disgusting and enraging#'you're costing us too much money. we're going to lie and say that your doctor signed off on reducing your dosage.'#among many other things#anyway this is all extremely par for the course for people who've faced these kinds of issues or who've listened to others who have#but. even so.#if you want to be furious read this ig!#at the time of writing his costs HAVE at least been covered but like. it took a lawsuit.#the only thing that really surprised me here was the extent to which company employees said really damning shit on the record#but like. they know how much power they have and how little power patients typically have.#anyway health insurance is frankly disgusting. i was lucky enough we never had to worry abt it when i was a kid#and now that i'm grown up and don't have any and hear stories like thisā¦ how the fuck did we get here.#healthcare shouldn't be a for-profit business.#the medical establishment
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they donāt even let you write weird young adult fantasy books that begin with the protagonistās alleged suicide attempt anymoreā¦ because of woke š
#guy who almost sleepwalked off a roof and everyone think heās lying and theyāre worried hes gonna kill himself and be an insurance liability#and heās worried that he was sleepwalking because he got cursed as revenge for being a teen con artist and one time accidental murderer#they used to let women write real literatureā¦.#āļø
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i think its so fun to be writing semi self insert fics while aro bc i dont want to be in a relationship with canon characters, i just want to criticize their choices and be a massive bitch without any consequences
#listen. i dont really write self inserts but i do write aroace and okinawan characters bc thats what i am and i want the rep#and if i make manako tell various bats to fuck off? thats what we deserve :)#(dont get me wrong i love the bats. but the property damage? the insurance troubles? absolutely fucking not)#rambles
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i mean. you know what i'm going to ask for commentary on.
that's right, the as yet unwritten drewseth sequel where seth gets to be Drew's pretty sundress girl.
(but also. at least for now you're innocent my beloved)
at least for now you're innocent
i say this in the author's note but i did literally just. wake up. with the image of seth licking dean's belt in my head. from there it made the most sense to me to do it around money in the bank 2016, because of the Nameplates and the Significance of. you know. roman's name, dean's belt. seth's belt. dean's belt.
i usually have a lot of trouble figuring out how to open a fic, but this one didn't give me any trouble at all. i'd been reading a lot of aistic's fic - a lot of the atmosphere is sort of cribbed directly from Rehearsing My Pretty Please - and 2014-2016 shield stuff has a really specific aesthetic for me - yellow light, clean soulless hotel rooms, the dark, pressing weight of seth's Hunter Problems. it's a very, very clear image for me, and even now, just reading a few words of the first paragraph, i can see it.
the collar was a sticking point for me. i thought about it, and then knew that i wanted it involved, but i couldn't quite come up with a justification for why dean has seth's old collar. i don't quite remember the exact line, but i did originally have one comparing seth's dean collar to his hunter collar, which was obviously more ornate and ostentatious. you can kind of see the way that genealogy survives in this line:
āWith you,ā Seth mumbles. He canāt fathom the thought of being anywhere else, holding anyone elseās collar in his hands.
what did give me a lot of goddamn trouble in this one is the Fucking Ending. the bitch would not end. i remember writing this in between like four deadlines for papers in grad school, one of which about fifty shades, one of which about shield fic itself, so it was really uhhh. hectic. for me. and also it takes me a million years to write a sex scene, and it takes me a million years to figure out an ending, so i kept going "okay. i'll finish it by [x date]." i think my original deadline was june 14. i guess i was only ten days late. anyway
//ask me for a fic/passage for director's commentary!!
#asks#sarahcakes613#director's commentary#i like that fic a lot. it's a good fic.#i will get to drewseth i promiseeee i just have No energy to write lately <- guy off their meds#it's not entirely my fault. i needed health insurance. i still don't have proof that i have it. anywa
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being depressed sucks but not being depressed is so fucking hard. bitches cant win at anything
#.txt#its getting a little out of hand again#i havent been eating really again and my sleeping has been bad#so its either no sleep or nightmares#and the sleep meds just make me groggy the next day#i havent been able to do anything i want for weeks and ive had so much time off#and i spend it trying to catch up on sleep i never get#i have so many things i want to do!! i want to clean the tank out to set it up for fish!!#i want to finish cleaning the bones!!#fuck man i just want to draw or write or something!!#and even before that i have appointments i need to make. i still havent cleaned or fixed my car#i need to get rid of clothes and clean the place entirely#it all keeps building up it doesnt matter if i can do little tasks at a time because its never enough#i can never do enough or be enough#living like this is a nightmare and i dont have the energy to fix it anymore#meds would help but how the fuck am i even supposed to do that when every psych isnt taking new clients#or doesnt take my insurance#or never gets back to me#i cant keep fucking trying when it never works out#everything hurts all the fucking time. im probably dying#but i cant make a doctors appointment to figure out whats wrong so what does it matter#can someone just fucking euthanize me already
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