#Ineffable Bureaucracy week

[itskathstyle]

Es el día 2 de la Ineffable Bureaucracy week, así que dejaré mi fanfic de hoy

"Una semana después Michael ingresa a la clase cargando una pila enorme de papeles, Beelzebub no puede evitar ponerse nerviosa en cuanto lo ha visto, y solo se calma cuando siente la mano de Gabriel sobre su hombro".

Lord Bee y Gabe en la secu, y puedes leer en AO3 o Wattpad, solo elige el enlace que prefieras, y que disfrutes mucho.

@ineffablebureaucracyweek

[the-graceful-dahlia]

Fic: Purple Roses

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: Other

Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett

Relationship: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)

Characters: Beelzebub (Good Omens)Gabriel (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: IBweek2023Prompt 1: DancingFluffSoft Quiet and GentleHell is UnderstaffedHeaven is UnderstaffedKissingNight ClubsLate Night Conversationslate night walksThey/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens)He/Him Pronouns For Gabriel (Good Omens)

Language: English

Summary: IBWeek 2023 Prompt 1: Dancing

Gabriel has been looking for a reason to see Beelzebub since their last meeting.

Apparently, fate is on his side, and the demon he’s sent to Earth to deal with is none other than the Prince of Hell themselves.

He won’t let the opportunity go to waste.

[ineffablebureaucracyweek]

Jim odia a Gabriel... ¡Y eso que no sabe quién es!

[inkubadoramagica]

The one and ineffable Jimbo! + his lovely fly husband.

[anyarlly]

dancing ooOOO with you, with youuu

[miumiumanzo]

I made an Effort

[fandom-animals]

I'm so happy. This is the worst day of my life.

[clumsycapitolunicorn]

GOOD OMENS 2.06 | PRIDE & PREJUDICE (2005)

[strophalosx3]

All my arts for the ineffablebu bureaucracy week Latin version.

1 First time

Sleeping in Alpha Centaury

2 AU School.

Gabriel captain of the volleyball team. Beelzebub fem/non binary geek, nerd

3 Before the fall

4 Omegaverse

Gabriel Alpha x Beelzebub omega

5 Historical bureaucrats.

Beelzebub as priestess of Baal and Gabriel, priest and deacon of King Solomon. Precisely the time when Solomon is given the powerful ring that God gave him and Beelzebub failed to stop the mission

6 AU reverse.

Gabriel is a prince of hell and Beelzebub the right hand of Lucifer, supreme archangel

7 Family

They have a daugther

[syncast-err0r]

during the whole post s2 montage or whatever, it's revealed that gabriel and beelzebub actually live in a cottage in North Downs, being their resident cryptids and functioning in worse ways than crowley and aziraphale could ever manage, and that's just them not trying

their entire house has rooms that are either completely empty or fully thrashed. these two idiots didn't even bother with trying to seem human. the house just spawned out of nowhere and they don't even bother with humans' memories they literally do not give a fuck. there's no bathroom, no bedroom. however there is a dungeon. neither of them ever sleep so they're just walking around at night for funsies. they're awful. their neighbors at least are grateful because flies refuse to enter anywhere else aside from the bureaucracy house (house is a strong word) just bc beelzebub is nearby. fuck it. they have several floors which can only be accessed from the inside, meaning it looks like it only has one floor from the outside. they have a garden and for some reason it's full of the worst smelling plants to attract flies but also they don't smell at all because gabriel was like nah n beelzebub was like fair enough

do u guys see my vision. do u

[itskathstyle]

Día 3 de la Ineffable Bureaucracy Week, y estoy escribiendo sobre comidas, pq estoy segura de que Lord Bee sí ensucia su infernal cuerpo con esas porquerías. @ineffablebureaucracyweek

"—Aquí tienes —le dice el arcángel poniendo un par de cervezas sobre la mesa —no tienes que consumirla.

Y entonces Beelzebub tiene que fingir que no se muere de ganas por tomarse esa cerveza y disfrutar de su paquete de papas".

En Ao3

En wattpad

[hollowistheworld]

Dancing

Day 1 of IBWeek2023, hosted by @the-bureaucracts-are-everything

Also on AO3

“I’ve heard,” Gabriel says, voice pitched low in a conspiratorial whisper, “that this is called people watching, and the humans do it too.”

Beelzebub snorts. “That’s ridiculous. Why would humans watch each other? They already know everything!” 

“It’s true!” Gabriel insists. Beelzebub is sure the angel believes it, less sure that he’s right. “Humans do that sort of thing all the time, you know what they’re like.”

Beelzebub has to concede on that point, at least. Humans were puzzling when they were created, and they’ve only gotten worse since. Still, the idea that they might spend their time just watching each other, as though there’d be anything interesting to see, is baffling. “Where did you even hear that?”

“From a human. When I was waiting for you. He said that’s what it looked like I was doing. Told me this was the best seat in the building for it.” 

Beelzebub shakes their head. “No matter how strange I think they are, they always manage to get stranger.” 

Gabriel nods. “It’s sort of fun, honestly. Wondering what they might do next. They’re nowhere near as predictable as angels.” 

Beelzebub nods. “Demons too. Sometimes I think I only wanted Armageddon to happen because I got so bored with all of it.” 

There’s a pause, and when Beelzebub looks up, Gabriel has a look on his face like he’s about to try biting into the frightening amalgamation of burnt flesh and roasted wheat that he’d purchased for each of them in tonight’s efforts to ‘blend in’. 

Thankfully, that isn’t what he ends up doing. “And now?” he asks instead. “Are you still… that bored?” 

Beelzebub raises an eyebrow. “We have an agreement. I realize demons are known for lying, but I wouldn’t cheat my way to victory on something that important. I do have some honor.” 

“No, I know that,” Gabriel says, and thousands of years of experience have Beelzebub marveling at the simple statement. Gabriel trusts them. Even stranger, they trust Gabriel. “I meant, with the boredom. Are things still so boring you want to go to war?” 

It’s a loaded question. A treasonous question. And it’s the easiest question Beelzebub has ever been asked. “No. Things have gotten… Very interesting, these last few years.” 

Gabriel smiles at them, and in true Supreme Archangel fashion he looks a little smug about it. 

“I never said I meant you,” Beelzebub says, though they’re smiling too, which is definitely undercutting their words. 

“But you do mean me.” 

“Isn’t pride a sin?” '

“Pride is. This isn’t pride. It’s confidence.” 

“Oh, I see.” Beelzebub laughs, their chest light in a way that’s becoming familiar and it’s… addictive. They’ve been checked out of work for a while now, a problem that had started a few centuries ago and only been exacerbated by Armageddon blowing up in their face. This thing they’re doing with Gabriel is different, refreshing, exhilarating… Peaceful. In all the millennia they’ve existed, there’s never been anything like sitting quietly with Gabriel, occasionally nudging one another to point out something some human is doing across the bar, exchanging stories of the stupidest thing some underling did today. 

“What are they doing?” Gabriel asks. 

Beelzebub - equally baffled by but a little more familiar with human activities - straightens in their seat and peers around Gabriel to see what’s going on. It takes them a moment to recognize the behavior - for some reason humans never seem to do it the same way twice. “Oh, they’re dancing. To the music.” 

“I thought dancing involved more…” Gabriel makes a vague sweeping gesture with one hand. “Lines?” 

“It used to.” Beelzebub observes the two humans, who look like they’re trying to fall over and step on each other at the same time. “They’re always changing how they do it for some reason.” They take in Gabriel’s expression, which is unangelically curious. Something had sparked in him a few weeks ago, when he’d miracled that jukebox. Something about all these human inventions maybe having something to them after all. Beelzebub is starting to agree. Maybe Crowley’s been onto something all this time. 

“Do you want to try it?” Beelzebub asks, before they can think better of the question. 

Gabriel startles a little, then gets a sheepish grin on his face. “Angels don’t dance.” 

“Angels also don’t have secret meetings with the leader of the demonic opposition,” Beelzebub points out, grinning. “What’s the matter? Afraid you’ll like it?” 

“Do you dance?” 

They shrug. “Never tried. But I’m not scared of it.”

“Neither am I.” Gabriel stands and maneuvers himself out of the booth. “I am the Archangel Gabriel. If humans can do it, so can I.” 

He’s really so easy to get riled up, it almost feels unfair. Good thing Grand Dukes of Hell don’t care about fairness. 

Gabriel holds out his hand as Beelzebub follows him out of their seats. “Of course, it appears to be a two-person activity.” 

Beelzebub rolls their eyes. They know full well that dancing can be done alone, and they suspect even Gabriel knows that much as well. But of course he isn’t just going to get up in front of the music-maker and make a fool of himself alone. 

Beelzebub takes his hand, and allows themself work out just where the music. The two humans already dancing don’t seem to notice them, too busy staring at each other and swaying back and forth like there’s a powerful and mercurial wind in the room. They don’t notice as Gabriel looks them over and holds his hands out, attempting to copy them. Beelzebub follows suit, starting and stopping a few times as they do by the way they both go still. 

It clicks together like a puzzle piece, and Beelzebub knows Gabriel feels it at the same time they do by the way they both go still. 

“I didn’t realize we’d be this close,” Gabriel says quietly. “It seemed… farther. When we were watching them.” 

Beelzebub wants to say something dry and witty to that, but their mouth’s gone dry. Not in the usual rot-of-the-damned way either. “It’s fine,” they manage, and the word couldn’t be more wrong. It isn’t fine. Beelzebub isn’t sure what it is, isn’t sure if they want to step closer or wrench their hands away, but it definitely isn’t fine. 

They stand like that for a long moment that might be all the eternities they’ve lived through. Beelzebub’s world spins as they process just how much taller Gabriel’s form is than their own, as they take in the glint of purple still present in his eyes, despite his toning it down amongst the humans. 

“…I think we’re supposed to move our feet,” Gabriel finally says. 

Beelzebub nods. “Yes, I - I think that’s important.” 

They both glance over at the other couple, but whatever they’re doing with their feet doesn’t make any more sense than it did the first time. 

“We should-“ Beelzebub begins at the same moment Gabriel says “So then we-“ and they both try to move their feet, immediately stepping on each other and falling over. Beelzebub stumbles into Gabriel, who catches them with one arm and promptly falls against a table. Beelzebub briefly loses track of exactly where all their limbs are, and barely stops themself from summoning their flies - anywhere else, with any other company, this would have meant they were in danger, that it was time to leap into a fight with the full forces of Hell behind them. 

But this is just Gabriel. Just an old archenemy who is proving to be so much more, to not actually be all that different from Beelzebub after all. 

They untangle themselves, Gabriel rights the furniture he crashed into - and discreetly miracles away the new crack in the chair leg - and they turn back to each other. No one else seems to have even noticed their mishap - or maybe it’s that Beelzebub isn’t paying close enough attention to notice anyone else’s noticing. 

Gabriel dusts off his jacket, which probably didn’t have anything on it to begin with, and says, “Do we want to try again, or decide there’s a reason angels don’t dance?” 

Beelzebub smiles. “Oh, do they give up that easily in Heaven? The War will be even easier to win than I thought.” 

Gabriel frowns and tugs them back toward the music again. “No, we do not give up that easily. It was probably your fault anyway. Demonic sabotage.”

“You are nowhere near talented enough to make me resort to sabotage.” 

They settle into position a little more quickly this time, and it feels just as right as it did the first time. More right, even. Beelzebub thinks they might like the feeling of Gabriel’s hand in theirs. 

“Follow my lead,” Beelzebub says. “I think that’s where we went wrong last time.” 

“Demons are known for being terrible dancers,” Gabriel objects, but when Beelzebub takes a step forward he allows himself to be pushed back without protest. 

“That still makes us better than your lot,” Beelzebub points out, and Gabriel grins. 

“It does make me want to watch Michael try,” he says. 

Beelzebub snorts at the idea and stumbles again, but this time they at least both manage to stay upright and away from the furniture. 

“See?” Gabriel says. “Terrible.”

“I could lead you right through that wall, you know.” 

Gabriel’s smile is soft, happy, nothing like the polite baring of teeth that has always marked their work-related meetings throughout time. It’s a nice smile. Beelzebub wants to see it more often. “You won’t.” 

Beelzebub pulls the two of them back a few steps. “No, I won’t.” Gabriel steps on their foot and they have to reset again, both of them grinning as though it’s funny, even though they’re both typically the sort to kill anyone with the misfortune of catching them at less than perfect. “I won’t on purpose, anyway,” Beelzebub amends.

Gabriel laughs. “I’ll admit, it’s sort of fun. I think. I’m still not sure we’re doing it right.” 

Beelzebub nods their head toward the other couple. “I think we’re doing as well as they are.” 

“Assuming they’re doing it right,” Gabriel says, and glances over. “They’re closer together than we are.” 

Beelzebub looks over and sees he’s right - the taller member of the duo is leaned over and practically draped over their partner’s shoulder. “I don’t think we’re to that point.” 

“No,” Gabriel agrees. “Not yet.” 

There’s promises in those two words, promises that make Beelzebub’s chest seize and lurch. Promises of some day and next time. The two of them hadn’t even made up an excuse for tonight’s meeting - they’re here because they want to be. Because they wanted to see each other. Because they wanted to talk. To dance, apparently. Because Gabriel makes better company than all of Hell, and he appears to prefer Beelzebub’s company over all the hosts of Heaven. 

For the first time - but not the last - Beelzebub wonders what would happen if they just left. If they kept trying to learn to dance and left Heaven and Hell to toil away without them. 

Not a conversation for tonight. They aren’t ready to give voice to such traitorous thoughts, not yet. They doubt Gabriel is either. 

Not yet. 

[ineffable-kelpie]

An AU in which Gabriel and Beelzebub are the earthly representatives for heaven and hell instead of Aziraphale and Crowley. Over the millennia, they wile and thwart and compete in a complicated game of their own devising. Eventually, they discover that they have a lot in common.

Series rating: T

Works: 6/6

Total wordcount: 105,063

Another series self-promo for the end of aro week! This series focuses on the development of a platonic relationship between this AU's Gabriel and Beelzebub. Some later works in the series, namely "A Critique of Abstract Minimalism" and "Green Stripes," explicitly discuss Gabriel's aromanticism (and are fairly short, if you're looking for aro fic but aren't up for reading the entire series).

(Keep in mind that this was written long before season 2. I'm not interested in comparing this to their canon relationship.)

(Breakdown of individual fics under the cut)

Ineffable Rivalry (rated G, 37K words, 15 chapters)

Gabriel, the guardian of the Eastern Gate, and Beelzebub, the fly of Eden, get off on exactly the wrong foot when they meet in the garden, kicking off a six-thousand-year competition of thwarting and counter-thwarting. Hijinks ensue.

Choose your Faces Wisely (rated T, 56K words, 17 chapters)

After Gabriel and Beelzebub thwart Armageddon, Aziraphale and Crowley team up to get them off the hook, and realize that they both much prefer Earth to their home offices. Crowley hatches a scheme that will let him stay there for good, and give Beelzebub a chance at their dream job. It's win-win. Nothing can go wrong. Everything goes wrong.

Animal Hamlet (rated G, 5K words, 1 chapter)

Being asked on a date by Aziraphale is the best thing that has ever happened to Crowley. It's also completely terrifying.

A Critique of Abstract Minimalism (rated G, 3.6K words, 1 chapter)

Valentine’s Day is an awkward time for Gabriel, since he’s never felt that kind of love and recently found out that isn’t true of all angels. He wasn’t planning to leave his apartment today, until his mortal-enemy-turned-friend Beelzebub convinced him to go make fun of abstract art with them. Now he’s stuck explaining the exact thing he was trying to avoid thinking about.

Green Stripes (rated G, 1.5K words, 1 chapter)

After they save the world from Armageddon, Gabriel and Beelzebub attend their first pride parade, and talk about the queerness of their identities.

In Another Life (rated G, 1.6K, 2 chapters)

Crowley wakes from a vivid dream about another life, in which he and Aziraphale have known each other for six thousand years.

[spookyblazecoffee]

*Doofenschmirtz voice* If I had a nickel for every time I had a song stuck in my head because of the archangel Gabriel that wasn't going by Gabriel at the time I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice right?

[xflashbastardx]

Truth + you get to force one angel to spend a week in hell, who's getting the boot?

SEND  ‘ TRUTH ‘  +  A  QUESTION  AND  MY  MUSE  HAS  TO  ANSWER.  NO  LYING  ALLOWED.

"Just one?" Pity. He'd love to give all the archangels a week Downstairs.

"I have to say Gabriel, then. Close second would be Sandalphon."