#Incorrect mxtx quotes

[3kidsinacoat]

Tianlang-jun: Master Shen, can I offer you something? Water? Tea? My nephew's hand in marriage?

Shen Qingqiu: what?

Tianlang-jun: Perhaps wine? Some snacks? My sons hand in marriage?

Shen Qingqiu: I-

Tianlang-jun: Tanghulu? Congee? My hand in marriage?

[incorrect-web-novels]

Wei Wuxian: It's okay to grow up, realize you're not the person you used to be.

Jin Ling: You never grew up.

Wei Wuxian: Yeah. I achieved perfection pretty early, huh?

[starry-stan-blog]

SVSSS Characters Stubbing Their Toe:

Shang Qinghua: *in tears* motherFUCKER

Shen Qingqiu: FUCK

Mobei Jun: *breaks whatever he bumped into through sheer force*

Luo Binghe: *breaks whatever he bumped into* *runs crying to sqq*

Yue Qingyuan: *winces, rubs the spot while groaning like an old man*

Liu Qingge: *gets so upset he breaks whatever he bumped into on purpose*

Mu Qingfang: *sighs, patches himself up*

Wei Qingwei: *sits on the ground & contemplates for a while*

Qi Qingqi: *scowls* *rubs the sore spot*

Ning Yingying in front of other people: *bursts into tears*

Ning Yingying on her own: *to herself* look here buddy I’ve had period pains worse than this

Liu Mingyan: *effortlessly continues like it never happened*

Ming Fan: *ugly cries*

[comfect]

Lan Qiren, walking by: Tears of joy, I trust.

Jin Ling: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry?

Lan Jingyi: General Mathematics 8th Grade Edition.

[happypeachsludgeflower]

Liu Qingge comes back to find out that everyone believes Shen Qingqiu murdered him and he’s offended that anyone would think Shen Qingqiu could beat him in a fight. And, as Liu Qingge bitches people out for believing such a ridiculous tale, Shen Qingqiu is off to the side muttering about how he “could absolutely kill that brute if he wanted to.” Liu Qingge turns to him exasperated, grumpy, and annoyed and snaps, “You couldn’t even stop me from killing myself.”

[nixster627]

Wei Wuxian: Lan Zhan is stunning. If he bent me over a desk and plowed me, I would probably really enjoy myself.

Wei Wuxian: No homo though.

Jiang Cheng: How powerful does your stupid ass think "no homo" is?

[sluty-hanfu]

It's hard to be the right hand man of horny and happily married Demon Emperor

(It happens every week)

[troglodytes-and-aardvarks]

SQQ: Oh, I don’t want to be killed by the protagonist so I guess I have to give him medicine and take care of him.

Me: Sounds good, solid plan.

SQQ: Maybe I should protect him from his bullies and teach him proper martial arts.

Me: Yep, that’s great.

SQQ: I’ll move him to the room outside my bamboo house and make him my most trusted disciple.

Me: Might be a bit overkill, but by now, he’s probably not gonna kill you.

SQQ: I’m going to save his life and die in his arms while giving him a heartfelt speech.

Me: Wait, wha—

SQQ: I am going to fuck him to save the world.

Me: …

SQQ: I am going to live happily ever after while being married to him.

Me: Wow.

SQQ: Wait, I think I have feelings for him.

Me: YOU THINK?!

[achromaticbibliophile]

Hua Cheng: My husband can wear whatever he wants because people are scared of him.

Luo Binghe: My husband can wear whatever he wants because I can fight.

Lan Wangji: My husband can wear whatever he wants because he’s a hoe and I knew that before we got married.

[inkubuzzz]

Xie Lian: What are you in the mood for?

Hua Cheng: World domination.

Xie Lian: That's a bit ambitious.

Hua Cheng: You are my world.

Xie Lian: Aww...

Hua Cheng: …

Xie Lian: …?

Hua Cheng: …

Xie Lian: OH.

[3kidsinacoat]

luo binghe: I don't need a mother or a father. Only shizun.

Shen qingqiu: we, as a society, need to stop proving Sigmund Freud right

[incorrect-web-novels]

Feng Xin: I know you, Mu Qing. You may be evil, but you’re not stupid

Mu Qing: I’m sure there’s a compliment in there somewhere. 

[starry-stan-blog]

Shen Qingqiu: ah, I’m so tired.

Shen Qingqiu:

Shen Qingqiu: Binghe why are you on all fours

Luo Binghe: chairs are meant to be sat on, Shizun

[daintyzutara]

Xie lian: San lang can you help me with the zipper of this dress

Hua cheng: sure gege

Xie lian:

Hua cheng:

Xie lian: up, San lang

Hua cheng: yes of course gege my apologies

[happypeachsludgeflower]

SQH: Bro, I take it back.

SQQ: Huh??

SQH: What I said on the internet about your hate mail.

SQH: Luo Binghe would absolutely fuck you.

[nixster627]

Wei Wuxian: What's your type?

Lan Wangji: Kind, smart and also dumb, brave, a good fighter.

Wei Wuxian: That kinda sounds like me. Too bad I'm not a woman.

Lan Wangji: Did I mention dumb?

Wei Wuxian: Yes.

Lan Wangji: Good. Just making sure.