#In a weird way this is a very healthy relationship I promise

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Love...is paying attention

A little rant..

I don’t know what it’s like to be a parent. But I know what it’s like to be a kid. And having someone actually really pay attention to you. That was…That was really special.

The third season explores whether our childhood experiences influence our psychology today and how this affects our current relationships. Since our parents are our first connections, their influence shapes how we love as adults. This theme resonates with me a lot in the moment. In his eulogy for his mother, Marcus reflects on how special it feels when someone truly pays attention to you as a child.

Sydney experienced healthy love from her father because he gave her his full attention. As a result, this is the kind of love she expects from Carmy. Carmy, on the other hand, struggles to give and receive love because his experience was different; Donna exploited the love he wanted to give, and he received very little attention as a child. Although Carmy wants to express love, he often faces ridicule from his family a being weird, and he withholds his expression of his attention on someone he loves.

When Carmy expresses his love for Sydney, symbolized by the jacket, and promises to be there for her and when he fails to meet those expectations, it affects him deeply, leading him to mentally check out. It seems like, in a way, it’s safer for him to only be present for Sydney physically? He finds joy in focusing his attention(love)on her, but Carmy's psyche often sabotages those experiences.

In the third season, he finds himself reflecting on his past mistakes. despite denying himself the joy of fully giving Sydney his attention and punishing himself with overthinking, he still expresses love for her in small ways, even when he isn't consciously aware of it. He often thinks of her and views her as a reminder of Chef Terry, which inspires him in his cooking. Even when Carmy believes he can only offer his physical presence to Sydney, he's still in sync with her mental, emotional, and physical state. On the surface, Sydney tells Carmy that she needs his focus on the business, but as we see in the next season, there is a realization that work family is closer, and underneath those relationships is love trying to find a way to express itself.

[stargirlies]

story time

so last night my boyfriend and i were playing this get to know you card game and one question was who would be your celebrity pass.

mine was of COURSE young adam sandler it will always be adam sandler I’m sorry, but it’s the truth and he knows it.

anyways then he proceeds to think very hard about the question. he’s visibly nervous to tell me, this boy is shaking in his boots just twiddling his thumbs while I give him a death stare…….. tell me why he blurts out ICE SPICE.

now mind you, I love miss icy girl. ice spice is my GIRL. and I cannot say that if I had the opportunity I wouldn’t also like to kiss her ya know a little 😘

however, thinking that my boyfriend also thinks that way is not so pleasant.

so now I’m angry. my chest is tight and all I can think about is how hot ice spice is and how I DO NOT LOOK ANYTHING LIKE HER

he sees me getting visibly upset he says well hold on now- you wouldn’t just vibe with adam sandler you’d make love to him.

so I started smiling bc well yes, he’s so right. I cannot disagree that if adam sandler got on one knee, I would say yes to that big question. I’m in indeed actually very confident the answer would be yes.

ANYWAYS if you’ve read this far and you’re also delusional like I am I’m sure you can picture my (not so fair) anger.

moral of the story now I will never be able to listen to in ha mood or bikini bottom again without thinking how my boyfriend has a big fat ultimate soul sucking crush on ice spice.

the worse part is I can’t even be mad he looks the complete opposite of mr. sandler I’m talking brown skin brown eyes 4c hair different.

thank you for reading and if you have any thing to say please feel free comment your opinions on this VERY serious topic. 🙄

[hannieehaee]

them accidentally ditching you on your bday - pu

hhu, vu, pu

part 2

content: angsty, gender neutral, established relationship, etc.

wc: 2766

a/n: tysm to the few ppl who requested this i hope u like it! pls lmk if u want a pt. 2! i decided to go on a diff direction for minghao's for further angst hehe sorry </3

masterlist

jun -

jun's absence was always a source of sadness for you. it was hard to not miss such a special person in your life, especially when his absence was so frequent due to his career.

dating an idol was difficult, but jun always made it worth it. he kept you to himself, always prioritizing you as much as he could. no day would go by in which he didnt contact you one way or another, even if it was just a quick 'i love you.'

these past two weeks had been hectic for him. going back and forth between china and korea, and even japan all at once had him in planes almost constantly. if he wasnt at a concert, he was at a fansign, and if he wasnt at a fansign, he was at some fashion event. there was no rest for a single member of seventeen during times like these. but despite that, life had smiled at jun's exhausted state for once. he had three consecutive days off; with one of them falling on your birthday.

you had insisted that using up his very rare free time on you was unnecessary. that you'd be happy to just have him home as he slept for the entirety of the three days, but he had insisted to spend the day with him. had even convinced you to cancel all other plans you may have originally had for your special day in favor of spending it with him. he had been unable to promise you anything grandiose, cringing at himself when he told you it'd just be a nice day in between the two of you. nothing made you happier than the thought, assuring him it was more than enough.

the day prior to your birthday, he had decided to go stay with his parents. he hadnt seen them in a while, and they were currently staying in jun's home in korea, so it was perfect. he was still a bit exhausted from the previous twelve days in which had received no more than four hours of sleep at a time, but he headed straight to them the moment he landed nonetheless. it was a nice evening he had with them, catching up and being fed home cooked meals by his mom. he went to sleep a bit late, but not until after facetiming you to let you know how excited he was to to spend your birthday with you. it was 1am by then, so technically it had been your birthday already. he let you go at some point, letting you know he'd be in your home by 11am sharp with a gift in hand.

the next day came sooner than expected, with jun groggily waking up, drool on his pillow showing the very deep slumber he had fallen under. he had not slept so well in months, not having allowed himself a healthy eight hours of sleep in a very long time. it was weird, though, he felt way too well rested, more than you'd expect from a regular night of sleep. upon checking the clock he realized why. it was now 2pm .. had he slept a total of twelve hours?! how exhausted had he been? it was now three hours after the time he was supposed to be meeting you. he ran to his phone to check if you'd called, only to find it dead. he had forgotten to charge it before heading to sleep. his exhaustion had truly gotten the best of him last night.

he gave it ten minutes go charge before turning it on, immediately wincing at your ten missed calls and your dejected messages wondering why he was gone, even worrying if anything had happened until finally tracking his location and realizing he had been home the whole time. you did not have his parents' number, so it had been impossible for you to contact him. by the end of the messages you'd informed him that you'd just go for a quick lunch with your friends, letting him know that it was okay if he just stayed home with his parents if he so wished. you'd only hoped he couldve kept you in mind before changing plans.

his day off could not have gotten any worse.

soonyoung -

admittedly, soonyoung could be a bit ... air-headed at times. its not that he didnt think, but more like he acted on impulse rather than logic. this would sometimes lead him to issues in various areas of his life. including your romantic relationship.

you'd been dating soonyoung for a while, already growing used to his silly antics by now. he was a silly boy, who could blame him! you found him endearing more than anything, always making you laugh and find joy in the little things. your relationship had been nothing but fun so far. not only was he entertaining to be around, but he was also a loving boyfriend and practically obsessed with you. he was affectionate to a fault, always doting on you. at some point he became a bit of an annoyance to his members, constantly showing you off to them in your absence. just like with anything else in life, when it came to you, he didnt think much. he just went based on feelings, and his feelings for you were quite strong.

this was why you were confused as to why your boyfriend was absent at this moment. the same boy who could not go five minutes away from you (whenever his job didnt get in the way, of course) without whining, had seemingly forgotten your plans for the day.

soonyoung was supposed to return from japan this morning after two weeks of absence from your shared home. you had told him it was fine if he wanted to rest instead of doing something for your birthday, which coincidentally landed today. a day in with him was more than enough, you'd assured him, but he insisted that all he needed upon his return was a quick nap with you and then he'd be ready to head out for a night out with you. except he never showed up. you waited and waited, receiving no explanation from him. you even called him multiple times, but he mustve kept his phone on airplane mode, as he never responded. you knew how easily distracted he could be, but to straight up forget to come home was too much, even for his standards.

it wasnt until five hours after his supposed arrival that you found out what had happened to him. you received a call from a very exhausted minghao, letting you know that his driver would be dropping off soonyoung at your home shortly. he and the boys had gone for a spontaneous drink after the flight, with chan having lost some sort of bet and having to buy them all drinks as punishment upon arrival. there was no mention of your birthday during the call, making you think that it had even slipped soonyoung's mind to let his members know he had previous plans.

the annoyance you were feeling was the least of your problems at the moment. you'd probably have to deal with a drunk soonyoung as soon as he and minghao arrived, having to put your feelings aside as you took care of him in order to ensure a painless hangover the next morning, yet another day in which he had to work. not only had he forgotten you, but he had prevented you from making any plans to favor spending time with him, time which would now be spent babying him until sleep took over him.

minghao -

the day had started well. you had woken up to a beautiful message from your loving boyfriend, with a few selfies attached as he told you how much he loved you and how badly he wanted to be home with you right now to celebrate your birthday. you felt truly loved upon exiting your room to find a few different bouquets of flowers, all labeled as 'from: xu minghao', your sweet boyfriend who would always give you small showcases of his affection such as this one.

he had left before you were able to wake up, having scheduled as early as 4am. he had a fashion show to attend today, along with many other previous engagements in regards to his idol life. but you were fine with it! he had promised you time and time again that he'd be home on time by 7 or 8-ish in order to have a romantic dinner with you. this had been the birthday celebration you had been looking forward to the most. you had a quick breakfast with a few friends, along with a small brunch with some family, which meant the final and most important part of your day would come last. you were extremely excited. it was a birthday dinner with the love of your life, a luxury you did not often get due to minghao's overly packed schedule.

at 6, you began to get ready, opting for a cute outfit that would have the usually composed salivating over you. at 7, you had all dinner arrangements ready. minghao had asked mingyu to drop off some dishes earlier in the day, claiming he had wanted to cook for you himself but the fashion show would leave him with no time, instead deciding to ask his best friend to do him a solid since he had been off earlier than minghao today. everything was ready by 7:30, so now all you had to do was wait.

you waited until 8, which soon became 9, only to become 10:30 and then 11 in what almost felt like minutes. you knew your boyfriend did not carry his personal phone with him during public schedules, so you didn't bother calling him, instead choosing to confirm his location with his manager, who let you know he had been driven to an after-party at around 8:30, thirty minutes after your established meeting time.

by 11:30 you had already put on your pajamas, dejectedly picking up all the dishes and saving them for another day. you weren't just disappointed, but you were sad too. he had promised you this for days, only to pick an optional schedule over you. this was very unlike him, but you still did not want to give him a pass for his carelessness.

he came back by 12, apologizing as soon as he spotted you waiting for him on the couch, only to be interrupted by you.

"minghao ... what the fuck? you say you'll be here by 8 and just ditch me for a stupid after party? is there any explanation for this or were you just trying to be a dick?", you knew you went too hard too fast, not even letting him finish his apology, but you were mad.

the venom in your voice seemed to irritate him almost immediately, causing a scary side of minghao to come out. he was never mean, per say, but he could be a bit too cold and direct sometimes. he seemed to forget his mistake immediately, instead pining the fault on you.

"y/n, im an idol. this is my job. you know its my dream to get into the fashion field. i need networking to do that. as my partner you have to understand that. its not like i didnt warn you itd be today."

"and i do understand! but all night? you could've told me. you couldve gone back on your word and i wouldve understood, but you-"

"listen. im not gonna have a conversation if you keep yelling. calm down, and when you decide to act like an adult, ill be willing to discuss this with you," it was so easy for him to dismiss you, which shocked you. he was usually so attentive.

"are you .. are you serious? are you drunk?"

"believe it or not, we're not all waiting for this day to put all our own shit aside and celebrate. i cant believe you're not being supportive. you havent even asked me how it went, i-"

"you know what? you're right. im sorry. i hope it went great, minghao. i'm gonna go to sleep now, if you dont mind. goodnight," there was truly no use in arguing. you knew him to be incredibly stubborn, and he was starting to hurt your feelings. so you marched to sleep, deciding to take the guest room instead, slamming the door shut as you finally let yourself cry at your boyfriend's lack of care.

chan -

chan was an exemplary boyfriend. he was, for lack of a better term, down tremendously bad for you. one simple look from you and he was reporting for duty, ready to do whatever you wanted. this behavior manifested in every aspect of your relationship, making him be labeled as a bit of a simp by all your mutual friends. chan did not mind this, however, being insanely into you and willing to go through all lengths to make sure you knew how loved you were by him.

your relationship was very much like a friendship, allowing the two of you to joke around and hang out as friends would, but also having all the special benefits of a committed relationship. you'd show up for each other more than anyone else, making your bond stronger than any other in your respective lives.

you had expected this to be the same case for your birthday. you hadn't mentioned it much, knowing chan was coincidentally busy during that week. you blamed him in no way for his busy schedule, always supporting his passions and even egging him on whenever he wanted to take on even more challenges (although also scolding him whenever he burnt himself out too much). but you were still somehow expected he would at least mention it.

you were surprised to wake up that day - having fallen asleep before chan's arrival home - to no type of reaction from chan. he was already awake, almost ready to leave for yet another busy day of schedules, with no single word mentioning your birthday. you knew he was insanely busy, but not even a quick 'happy birthday'? in the back of your mind you had hoped maybe he would at least bring you flowers or something upon his return the previous night, but he had clearly headed to sleep upon arrival. for someone who was usually a romantic, his lack of reaction surprised you.

deciding not to make a big deal out of it, you didn't say anything, simply bidding him goodbye with a quick kiss and an 'i love you' to match. you had the day off, but no real plans made, so you decided to just mope around the house, maybe schedule a date with one of your friends for the evening. you had kept your schedule open in the off chance than maybe chan wouldve planned a quick little something. you knew you could've just communicated this to your boyfriend, but you had wanted the romantics sue you!

surprisingly, you received a call a few minutes after chan's departure; one from one of your closest mutual friends, one boo seungkwan. it was very likely that he had remembered today's date, very much unlike your boyfriend.

"hi, kwannie," you replied upon answering.

"baby! happy birthday!!! love you!"

you sighed, "thank you, boo. love you too."

"aigoo, something wrong? sad channie can't stay in today?", you could hear and see his pout through the phone.

"no, kwannie. it's nothing. don't worry about it," even if you were slightly annoyed, you didnt want to throw your boyfriend under the bus.

"no! tell me!! you can't be sad on your birthday, cmon!"

"well .. chan kinda, uh, forgot."

"what? did he say anything?"

"nope. just left without saying anything."

"aish, that idiot. don't worry, i'll take care of this, i'll-"

"no, kwan! it's fine. i dont wanna make a big deal out of it. you guys are busy with your comeback. it's okay, i'll get over it."

"but, baby-"

"kwan, really. i'm fine, i swear. have a good day for me, okay? love you."

he humphed, but accepted your response, "fine. you better have fun today too, though, okay? love you."

and that was the end of it. you would now probably spend the next few hours a bit dejected, not looking forward to the inevitable moment in which your boyfriend realized his mistake, knowing you couldn't really be mad at him due to his busy lifestyle, but feeling hurt nonetheless.

[auras-moonstone]

girl, i’m in dire need of some jack angst!! (i know, i’m crazy for wanting my heart to be ripped out by your beautiful writing in the saddest way possible😂)

maybe he and the reader have been dating for a few months and have their first big fight, maybe he’s been a little too close to a girl the reader has been having weird gut feelings about. they break up after some harsh words were said, and a few weeks later the reader sees that he’s dating the girl he told her not to worry about 👀

a few months pass, and jack and the girl break up bc he can’t get over the reader, and he tries to win her back, but soon realises he lost her for good when he sees her ar an event or something with someone else, and it’s clear that they’re more than friends.

(i kinda envision this as actress!reader x jack. and the event could be the oscars + the reader’s new bf could also be an A list celeb)

lyrics that could inspire you:

“'Cause there we are again when I loved you so, Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known” - All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)

“I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind, Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life” - I Don’t Wanna Live Forever

thank you so much and i’m sorry if this req is all over the place 😂😂❣️

hii! this might be one of the saddest things i’ve written yet. hope you like it<3

break me like a promise — jack champion

word count: 2,949

pairing: jack champion x actress!fem!reader, louis partridge x fem!reader (brief).

summary: jack breaks y/n’s heart, and after ten months he is determined to win her back, he sees her being happy with someone else.

author’s note: when i read “readers new bf could be a celeb” i knew i had to include the other love of my life aka louis partridge aka london boy.

Y/N AND JACK HAD MET THROUGH JENNA ORTEGA. The latter and Y/N both worked for Netflix, so they bumped into each other in lots of events and eventually became super close. And, knowing how big of a Scream fan Y/N was, Jenna invited her over to set and that’s where she met Jack.

No one could deny that sparks flew instantly between them, not even the two people involved. And that scared Y/N a bit, because her last relationship had left her with insecurities and trust issues, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to dive into another relationship.

Jack had been very understanding about it, and told her that they should start as friends. He assured her that he would wait as long as she needed to, that she was worth it. And after months and months of therapy, Y/N finally felt ready to try things with Jack.

They were in a lavender haze for months. Her relationship with Jack was unlike anything Y/N had experienced before. The love she felt for him was so strong that there was no way to put it into words. Jack was her best friend—he had held her hand as she healed, and drew stars around the scars that the previous relationship had left on her. And she never would have thought he was going to be the one who made the wounds bleed again.

Jealousy is often seen as a toxic feeling, and after talking with her shrink about it, Y/N came to a conclusion—the toxicity depends on the way you handle that feeling. So Y/N decided to put her fears on the table, instead of jumping into conclusions. That’s what she thought would be the most healthy thing to do. Jack would be honest with her, and the thoughts that had been eating her alive would disappear.

But as soon as she said the words and saw Jack’s expression of irritation, Y/N knew she should’ve kept her mouth shut.

“Seriously? I can’t have female friend now” Jack spat furiously.

“What?! Of course you can. That’s not what I’m saying” Y/N said calmly. “I just… she clearly has feelings for you. And I’m not saying you should stop hanging out with her, I just need to know if she’s just a friend to you… or if there is room for more.”

“I can’t fucking believe you’re telling me this.” he shook his head in disbelief.

“Jack, I’m not accusing you of cheating or anything, really. You’ve been spending so much time with her…” more than with me, she wanted to add. But that would make things worse. “and I just have this weird feeling. I need to know how you really feel, that’s it. If you tell me you don’t like her, I’ll believe you. But please be honest with me.”

“What I really feel is that you’re suffocating me with your shitty problems.” his demeanour was so calm, but his words were sharp as knives, and they cut right through her heart. She had trouble believing the words had actually left his mouth. “I’ve waited for you for months, I helped you through all of it. And now you’re making this shit up? Grow up.”

Y/N felt like throwing up. She felt like she was about to spit her heart. “You don’t mean that.” her voice broke. “In all of these months, when have I ever brought up one of your female friends? Not once. Because I know they are only friends. But with her, Jack, I just feel like there is something more. And yes, maybe I’m overthinking, but that’s why I’m asking. That’s it. I’m just asking, Jack.”

“Stop being so fucking paranoid. I get that your ex cheated on you, but stop seeing ghosts everywhere.”

“Why are you being so mean? Why are you avoiding the question? It’s simple, Jack. Do you have feelings for her?” Y/N asked, the knot in her throat grew in size when she noticed he couldn’t look her in the eyes. “Jack?”

“We’re just friends, jesus!” he said annoyed. Y/N wanted so bad to play dumb, to pretend she couldn’t see he was lying.

“You know I can read you like a book, right?” she asked softly, sad. “When you lie, you can’t look me in the eyes, you play with your hands and bite the inside of your cheeks.”

“Y/N… fucking drop it. I’m tired of this”

“We are over, Jack” she tried to walk towards the door, but he grabbed her and pulled her against his chest, trapping her in his arms.

He saw the tears steaming down her face and cursed himself. “Shit. No, please. Let’s talk. I’m sorry” he sound like he was about to cry, and Y/N knew she needed to leave. Because even though he had hurt her, the soft spot in her heart was still reserved for him.

“No, let’s just leave it like this because if you keep talking, I’m afraid I might end up resenting you, and I don’t want that.”

“I love you, Y/N” Jack hugged her tightly. “Please let’s fix this. I promise you nothing happened with her, and nothing will.”

“I love you too, but I don’t believe you. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore” and so she stepped away for the arms she loved the most in the world and left without glancing back. If she did, she knew she wouldn’t be able to leave.

EVER SINCE SHE WALKED OUT OF JACK’S HOUSE TWO WEEKS AGO, Y/N HAD BEEN OVERWORKING HERSELF TO AVOID HER THOUGHTS OF JACK CREEPING INTO HER MIND. She had stayed out of social media, and had deleted Jack’s number from her phone to avoid temptations. Her friends kept their eyes on her all the time, worried about the inevitable breakdown. You can only hold back for so long before it becomes too much.

Louis, her co-star, had been by her side as much as he could. And, like every morning, he was waiting for her on her trailer with a caramel macchiato and a shiny grin on his handsome face.

“And a chocolate chip muffin?” Y/N asked, seeing the mouth-watering treat next to her Starbucks drink. “What’s the special occasion?”

Louis stared at her, frowning. Not any indications of having had a break down, not even puffy eyes, which meant one thing—she hadn’t seen the pictures yet. “Nothing” he blurted, showing his charming smile. “Just saw it and had to buy it.”

“You really need to stop buying me these breakfasts, Lou. I’m going to get cavities” Y/N said taking a sip of her overly sweet drink.

“But look at how happy it makes you. Cavities will be worth it, don’t you think?”

“You may have a point. Scoot over” she told him, nudging his leg with her foot. Louis moved his body so that she could sit next to him on the small couch. It was not made for two people, so they were basically pressed against the other, yet they found it comfortable. Especially Louis, whose insides melted because of the closeness between them—his not so tiny crush on her was painfully obvious.

“What are you doing?” Louis asked, trying to keep his voice calm as she unlocked her phone.

“I forgot to check which surprise songs Taylor sang last night” she answered as she opened twitter. “Oh god”

“What?!” Louis squealed.

“She sang Cornelia Street and You’re on your own kid! And I wasn’t there, Lou!” she dramatically dropped her head on his chest. He couldn’t help but sigh in relief. “What is going on with you?” she laughed.

“Nothing. Why?” he laughed awkwardly.

“I don’t know, you’re extra jumpy and panicky today.”

“I’m always jumpy and panicky around you.” he said, trying to brush it off.

“No, you’re not” Y/N furrowed her eyes, locking her phone. Louis eyed the action and his chest relaxed. The girl noticed that, so she unlocked it again and started scrolling through Twitter. On her periphery, she saw the boy’s body tensing again. So it had to do with social media, she guessed. “Louis, I’m not dumb. Tell me what is going on.”

“Nothing” he repeated. “Let’s rehearse our lines.”

“Lou, I love you but you’re getting on my nerves right now. I hate being lied to, you know that.”

Y/N’s vulnerable eyes were his weakness, so he sighed and took her hand in his. “This weekend, some fans caught Jack walking around the city with a girl… and they… um, saw them kissing and holding hands.”

Y/N felt her heart drop, and her eyes started to sting. No. She wasn’t going to cry. She hadn’t let herself cry for two weeks and she was not going to start now. “Oh.”

“Give me your phone” Louis said softly. She was too lost in her own mind to question it, so she just obeyed. “I deleted Tik Tok and Instagram. And silenced any Jack related stuff on Twitter. You don’t need to see those pictures.”

“Louis… the girl… is it her?” Y/N asked, trying to keep her voice in control.

“Stop” his voice was firm.

“I want to move on, Lou. And for that, I need to know I was right first.” she pleaded. “Is it her?” her friend nodded slowly as he brought her to his chest. Y/N did a little nod too, and tried to stand up. “Let’s rehearse our lines.”

“Y/N…” he grabbed her elbow to push her back.

“Lou, please. I don’t want to cry, I don’t want to think about it.” he noticed she was two seconds away to burst into tears. And as much as he knew he would hate the sight of her weeping, it was necessary.

“I know you don’t, Y/N/N, but you have to if you want to move on. You’re never getting over this if you keep ignoring your need to cry.”

“I’m just afraid that if I do, I won’t be able to stop.” she confessed, tears starting to blur her vision.

“It feels like that now, but I promise you it’ll be good for you. You have been holding it back for weeks, and once you let it all out, you’ll start to heal” he said as he played with her hair.

“Two weeks… it took him two weeks to go off and date her. And it’s not only some girl… it’s her. He told me I was paranoid, and now he proved me right.”

Jack had promised nothing would happen between him and that girl, and now he broke his promise just like he had broken her heart two weeks ago.

After the realisation, it was like something snapped inside of Y/N, and one sob turned into desperate crying. Her fragile body shook under Louis’ arms, and he wished he could stop her pain. But he couldn’t, so he just stayed there with her holding her as she let it all out.

AS MUCH AS SHE HOPED THE CRYING WOULD EASE THE PAIN, IT DIDN’T. It had been months of being in a rollercoaster of feelings, sometimes she was okay, sometimes she was great and sometimes she was so low not even Louis’ hugs could lift her up.

The days where she didn’t have to shoot were the worst, because she spent hours in bed and her brain betrayed her by bringing the memories of Jack back. She missed him so much, it was completely agonizing. Why?, she asked herself when the room was dark and she couldn’t sleep. Why did he get to move on while she had to spend her days like that? She has been trying to pick up her heart while Jack was all lovey-dovey with the girl he swore was just his friend.

Jack continued her life without her, while Y/N woke up everyday with his memory over her. She longed for the picture of Jack’s dazzling smile to be gone from her mind. She prayed to forget the sound of his voice as he whispered the sweetest of things on her ear. She wished she could stop hearing his angelic laugh everywhere. She wanted to stop feeling the ghost of his touch against her skin. To forget that his lips were soft and that every time they were pressed against hers she could feel goosebumps all over her body. Y/N just wanted to stop being haunted by the memories of Jack.

Louis had slowly helped her through the process of moving on. He was there to offer his warmth when the wrenching thoughts triggered the waves of tears, and he was also there to make her break a smile once the sobbing stopped.

After eight months, the flood of her tears successfully carried away the thoughts of Jack, and Y/N knew she was finally clean. Not that she didn’t miss him, because Jack was her first love after all, and a small part of her would always love him.

It took her a few more months to be sure if she was ready to risk it again, but Louis’ sweet disposition, how he saw the best in her even in her worst times, showed her that he was worth it. And so she she watched it began again with him.

JACK AND THE GIRL LASTED FOR TWO MONTHS. He never intended to have something with her, but she was interested and he was lonely and sad, so he said yes. But reality crept in soon—he loved Y/N with all his heart and no matter who he was with, his thoughts would always go back to her.

He had been texting her for months, but she had blocked his number. He knew he could easily drive to her house, but he didn’t want to add salt to the multiple wounds he had inflicted on her, it would be selfish. So when Jack saw that Avatar 4 and Y/N’s drama film were both nominated for the Oscars, he knew it was his chance to make things right. To bring back the only real thing he had ever known.

But he didn’t plan on seeing her with someone else. And he knew they weren’t there together just as co-stars, they were each other’s date. The spark in Y/N’s eyes when she looked at Louis was familiar to Jack—it was the way they used to shine just for him. Jack had been the one to extinguish the spark on her eyes, and Louis had managed to light them up again.

And he wasn’t even mad or jealous. He actually felt happy and sad. Jack didn’t understand how it was possible for two opposite feelings to co-exist in his body at the same time. He realized it was a lost battle, yet he needed to do talk to her. For the sake of their once marvellous relationship.

Y/N got out of the bathroom and into the crowded room, but the thousands of people in it became blurry once she recognized the silhouette of a handsome tall boy leaning against the entrance. “Jack?” his name left her lips in a mix of anguish and surprise.

“Hey” he said softly. You look beautiful, he wanted to add, but restrained himself. “I wanted to talk to you.” Jack saw her grimace and continued before she could stop him. “I know. I know it’s the last thing you want, I just need to get this off my chest. You’re not paranoid or insecure. You never overwhelmed me with your problems. You were right, and I was a shitty boyfriend, friend and person, and you have been so amazing and patient… and I’m so sorry, Y/N. I never deserved your love.”

“You did… up until that night.” she said in all honesty. “I loved you so much, and then you said all of those things. I can’t forget about it, because I never expected those words to come out of your mouth.”

“I know, and I really don’t expect you to forgive me. It’s okay and understandable if you don’t, but I needed you to know that those things I said weren’t true at all.” Jack said, pressing his lips in a thin line. “To be honest, I came here with the mind set of trying to win you back” he confessed, and let out a little laugh, as if the idea was now ridiculous. “But I saw you with him and I know that I’ve lost you for good. Are you happy with him?”

Y/N saw his deep brown eyes starting to get glossy and her insides melted. She didn’t see him with romantic eyes anymore, but it didn’t mean the love was gone. She still cared for him with every bone in her body. “I am. He’s amazing.”

Jack smiled. Genuinely smiled, so widely that it made a few tears drop, and before she knew it, Y/N’s cheeks were wet too. “That’s great, Y/N/N. Really great. I’m happy for you.”

And that was the moment Y/N knew Jack honestly regretted the words he had said before their breakup. “I forgive you.”

The tall boy’s eyes widened “What?”

“I forgive you.” she repeated. “And you deserve to be happy too, okay?”

“Thank you” Jack said breathlessly, wiping away the tears.

“I need to go. But it was nice to see you, thank you for coming to talk to me. For real. I really needed that, I think we both needed that.”

And so they both smiled to each other one last time before parting ways. There was nothing left to say, staying friends had never been an option with them. They loved each other too much for that. When it came to Y/N and Jack, it was everything or nothing at all.

[yellowflowrs]

What was Nari and the Carillonneur's relationship like pre-betrayal? I'm assuming not good since you said Narinder found enjoyment in their post-defeat state and taunted them occasionally.

It definitely wasn’t a healthy relationship by all means and was kinda co-dependent. It’s sort of hard to properly explain their relationship in words . All I gotta say: The song breezeblocks by Alt-J and that one song Saccharine sums their relationship up

(Cw for talking of an unhealthy relationship) sorry for mistakes I was really tired

//

So yeah their relationship was pretty … toxic for a lack of a better word. The Carillonneur was extremely obsessive over Narinder, since he was the first person that they could properly interact with, and also their promised liberator which led to them becoming very attached. They craved his attention, and with their status as a god felt entitled to it, and would be miserable without him

And, being very unhinged with a broken mind, they didn’t exactly know how to properly handle the greatness of their obsession, and when Narinder visited them, they often had outbursts under the weight of their own emotions, these outbursts would be out of excitement, frustration, etc. most of their the frustrated outbursts really just stemmed from them being so excited. They didn’t know how to properly express their feelings and tried to show ‘their love’ in their own weird ways, what can be perceived as threats or sick desires is what they meant to be a showcase of their of ‘ endearment ‘

Before Narinder had the red crown bestowed upon him he felt weak, constantly in a state of fear of beings that could hurt him, so when he got the red crown it gave him a huge ego boost. Developing the glaring (aka the flock) with beings under his thumb further fed into it as he loved the feeling of being ‘powerful’. Though, when he was with The Carillonneur it’s like he gets knocked off his pedestal of being great and all, because he’s also attached to the carillonneur in his own way. He felt obligated to them, as his the god that saved, befriended, -and in their more calmer moments- provided a ‘safe haven’ and praise for him. He subconsciously sought comfort in the arms of their praises and thrived off it, he was dependent on their approval and they somehow, despite being everything they are, made him feel at ease, which he absolutely loathed . The way The Carillonneur treated and talked to him made him feel like an object of their possession

he recognised that The Carillonneur was also attached to him in a different way than he was with them, and would begin to ignore the Carillonneur’s attempts at contact through the crown and enjoyed the desperation they had for his attention which, of course, he used to feed his ego

In a way, The Carillonneur resented Narinder for making them feel emotions that were incredibly overwhelming for them and how he messed with their already jumbled brain wires, while Narinder resented the Carillonneur for how they knocked him off his pedestal of greatness and made him feel inferior ..,. So yeah, really shitty relationship the two of them had and OG Narinder with Mori arent much better (neither is Shamura with Koa) I took a good chunk out of these paragraphs and there’s more layers to their relationship but it is 3 AM AS IM WRITING THIS AUGHHH. I’m sure you guys can fill in the little details that I left out.

[junekissed]

happy ending

member — husband!junhui x f reader genre — angst, fluff, hurt/comfort word count — 6.6k synopsis — a pointless argument escalates until both of you need some space, but it couldn't come at a worse time. warnings — female reader, planned pregnancy, there's a big argument but i tried to not make it too toxic (jun and reader have a happy & healthy relationship i promise), swearing, there is a happy ending lots of fluff !! notes — requested by anon — this has been sitting in my drafts for months bc every time i look at it i get shy and wanna change my mind but i'm proud of how this turned out so i'm posting it finally! i know pregnancy fics aren't everyone's favorite but this was honestly very comforting to write so i hope anyone who chooses to read can find comfort in it as well <3 also the last time i proofread this was like april and if i try to proofread it rn i'll get shy again and chicken out so if there's any mistakes pls ignore! i hope you enjoy :)

you sat on the bathroom floor, trying to comprehend the weight of the news you held in your hand. you couldn’t believe it. you could? you couldn’t. 

after many months of trying to start a family with your husband, you had finally succeeded. the slim plastic stick with two tiny pink lines was the last piece of evidence you needed. it had been months of carefully tracked cycles, fertility doctors, and new positions that seemed too weird to actually do anything. but now, everything was finally falling into place.

you don’t know exactly how much time you spend sitting on the floor and staring at the pregnancy test; thinking, planning, and thinking some more. but when you finally stand up and place the positive test on the counter with shaking hands, it still hasn’t fully sunk in yet what’s happening. something you’d wanted for so long, and finally it was all right in front of you.

what do you do now? no— you know exactly what you need to do, and it’s a long list of things. the real question is, where do you begin?

you thought back to all the videos you’d watched over the last few weeks. somehow every social media algorithm knew exactly what you wanted to see, and it had given it to you in abundance; baby showers, gender reveals, those “get ready with me - new mom edition” videos. all getting your hopes up before you could confirm whether or not it had finally happened.

with your hopes high and expectations even higher, you were already beginning to plan how you would break the news to junhui. as your husband and your soon-to-be baby’s father, of course you wanted him to be the very first person to know, so you couldn’t wait too long to tell him. you couldn’t wait to see the look on his face.

maybe you’d get a little gift box and give the test to him before dinner. but, then again, it was literally a piece of plastic you’d peed on. surely you could give him… something a little nicer than that.

maybe you could buy a baby outfit and wrap it up for him. but you remembered he’d mentioned so many times about how excited he would be to pick out clothes once you got pregnant. you would want him to have the honor of picking out the very first one, going to the store together and looking through the whole section before finally settling on the perfect one.

what else was there you could do? bake a cake? make a crossword puzzle? buy him a t-shirt that says “dad-to-be”? so many ways you could do it, but none of them seemed perfectly right.

from the other room you hear the door opening, and hurriedly you stuff the test into a drawer, not wanting to tell him just yet. you need a plan first; waiting another day or two couldn’t hurt, so you’ll just have to figure out how to tell him later.

you flip off the bathroom light and stride into the hallway, barely able to contain the grin on your face. you’ve always been terrible at keeping secrets, and with news as big and exciting as this you have no idea how you’re going to be able to hide it from him for more than a minute.

but luckily you don’t have to wonder about it for long, because as soon as you see jun you can already tell he’s in a sour mood. 

you know it’s usually best to let him have some time alone when he’s upset, but not for too long because he starts getting frustrated with himself and won’t stop working until he’s exhausted.

but you’re still on a high after everything today, so you decide on being a little bit sweeter to him in the hopes that your happiness will be contagious and that it’ll lift his spirits, despite what was probably a really awful day at work.

you find him sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands, long fingers pressed against his eyes trying to block out the light.

“hey, junnie,” you call out, sitting down in a chair next to him. “bad day?”

“yeah,” he answers shortly.

“i’m sorry, baby,” you hum, putting your hand on his shoulder, but he flinches and your hand falls away in surprise. he’s never done that before. weird. you try something else. “um, any requests for dinner?”

“not hungry.”

“alright. well, i guess i can cook up some veggies and leave them out, you can heat them up whenever you get hungry.”

he moves his hands away from his face and onto the table, sighing as he leans back in his chair. “can you just— leave me alone for a while? i’m sorry.”

you nod and stand up. “no, it’s fine. i get it. i’ll bring you some tea later then, maybe. text me when you’re feeling better.” you reach out and gently touch his hand before walking away, leaving him alone at the table.

it’s definitely one of his worser days, you note, so you retreat to your bedroom to watch more videos on your phone, trying to bring back your excitement from earlier. hopefully later he’ll be more open and you can sit down and eat something, and maybe by then you’ll have come up with a good way to tell him the news.

an hour passes and you come out of your bedroom to look for jun, having a question from one of your friends about the dinner you’d arranged to have together next week. but he’s no longer in the kitchen, so you peek your head into his office room and find him exactly where you expect him to be, trying to work himself to death.

you clear your throat before you enter, not wanting to startle him again. “hey, junnie, i know you’re in a bad mood, and i’m sorry to interrupt, but—”

“what do you want?” he snaps, never turning around from his desk. just from the way he’s hunched over his computer, he looks like the most stressed you’ve ever seen him, and your chest tightens with worry before your brain registers what he’s just said to you.

“i— excuse me?”

“i said, what do you want?” he repeats, still facing away from you.

you resist the urge to glare at him, knowing he’s probably under a lot of pressure, and you aren’t trying to add to it. “you don’t have to be rude, jun. i just came in here to double check about next weekend, minghao’s texting me.”

he finally lifts his head, slamming his hand down on the desk. “i’m really trying not to snap at you, but— jesus, you make it so fucking hard sometimes.”

you raise your eyebrows in disbelief, your voice lifting in tone. “well, i’m so very sorry to inconvenience you then, but i really don’t appreciate you talking to me like that, jun.”

“and i don’t appreciate you talking to me like i’m a child! when will you get it through your head?”

his comment stings, but you brush it off. “well, maybe if you’d just talk to me like an adult instead of throwing a fit and hiding in your office then i wouldn’t have to treat you like one!” you’re starting to get tired of how he retreats in on himself every time bad shit happens. all you want to do is let him know he doesn’t have to do it alone, and he’s just… exploding at you for no reason, so you don’t try to hide the snarkiness behind your words.

he scoffs angrily and stands up, towering over you at his full height. “oh, grow up! you’re so moody all the time and you expect me to just put up with it! as if i don’t have enough other shit to worry about, i have to worry about what you think of this and that and everything all the damn time!”

you’ve never seen him get so angry like this, and it’s almost scary how completely different this jun is from the jun you know and love. “okay, jun, fine, i’ll just—”

“no, don’t fucking “jun, fine” me. it’s like you’re doing it on purpose at this point, you act like everything is just so perfect and then when it’s not you act like it’s your job to fix everything! you can’t fix everything!”

“i said fine! just forget it, i’ll leave you the hell alone like you always want!”

he pushes past you and crosses the room in two strides, grabbing his keys off the hook by the door, his hand already on the doorknob. “i need to get some air. i’ll be back later.”

you fold your arms over your chest, trying to look unphased but inside your heart is breaking. “you’re really gonna walk out like that? you’re just gonna run away from this? real mature, junhui.”

he spins around, and the look in his eyes is cold. “if i don’t get out of this house right now i’m gonna say something i actually regret.”

and in a flash the door is slammed shut and jun is gone. you can hear his car starting up in the driveway, and seconds later everything is dead silent.

you stand frozen in front of the door, unable to move. you can’t believe it. you can’t. what just happened?

jun has never just… walked out like that.

his words ring in your ears; though your argument wasn’t very long, a lot was said in a very short time and you can’t even begin to think about how to process it as it starts to hit you all at once.

say something he actually regrets? what the hell does that mean? so he’s saying he doesn’t regret everything else, the cursing and the anger and the pointed words that were clearly meant to hurt you?

minute after long minute passes and you realize he’s not coming back anytime soon. finally you drag yourself away from the door, dropping down on the couch in a daze.

there’s never been a time where you and jun haven’t made up immediately after an argument. sure, maybe you take a little bit to cool down in your own space, but neither of you like letting the tension sit unresolved for very long. so what was it this time that made him leave without even a goodbye?

so many reasons, so many excuses, so many words you could’ve said instead. you shouldn’t have reacted like that, you shouldn’t have kept it going, you should’ve just left him alone. would that have made him stay? if you’d backed down sooner and just let him work through it on his own?

despite all the what-ifs and the doubts in your mind, your conscience won’t allow you to let him worry about everything by himself without at least offering your help. you’re a team, husband and wife, and you’ll be damned if you let him forget that. maybe you trying to help actually made things worse in the end, but at least you know you tried… right?

it’s not until you check your phone and realize that jun’s been gone more than half an hour that you finally let yourself cry. you’d been so focused on worrying about where jun was and whether he was okay that you’d barely even thought about what might happen after this.

will he just… come back and pretend nothing happened? will he come back and still be angry at you? it would almost be worse if he was calm and acted like everything was normal. would he even apologize? would you even apologize? of course you would. both of you said things that were fucked up, and you’ll be the first to admit it if it means this whole thing can be over. right now all you want is to have junhui back.

the tears keep falling but you don’t even feel yourself crying, your face rigid as the tears continue to stain your cheeks.

after an hour you force yourself to get up off the couch and move somewhere, anywhere around the house to try and get your mind off things. but you can’t erase his voice from your head, the look in his eyes as he walked out the door and the way his shoulders hunched from anger mixed with exhaustion.

you find yourself back in your bedroom and you fall onto his side of the bed, wishing you would wake up to find that this has all just been a very bad dream.

it’s after 10pm when you hear your phone buzz on the nightstand and you sit up in a panic, scrambling to see if it’s something from jun. your eyes sting from crying so much, and you blink away the remaining tears as you unlock your phone with shaking hands. your heart drops even further when you realize it is, in fact, from jun, but not the news you want to hear.

you let your phone slip out of your grasp, tumbling to the carpet with a thud. when he’d said he’d be back later you had assumed that meant he’d be coming back tonight. clearly you thought wrong.

tomorrow seemed so far away; too much time to spend alone in a house that was supposed to be filled with happy memories, but now all you felt was pain. you felt it in your chest and in your stomach and in your head and everywhere. the whole room was suffocating, heavy weight crushing down on you from every angle.

you slide to the floor and pick up your phone. you don’t text junhui back. you’re not sure anymore if he’d even read your message. 

instead you type in your friend seokmin’s phone number, listening to the line ring as you wipe the back of your hand across your eyes.

as soon as he picks up, he can hear the anguish in your voice and he’s begging you to tell him what’s wrong, but all you can muster up is a soft, “can i stay with you tonight?” because you can’t bear to be in this house another second without junhui. 

and of course he says yes, and of course he’s immediately on his way over to pick you up. and of course he stops at mcdonald’s on the way back to his house to buy you something to eat, because you haven’t eaten and even though you don’t particularly have much of an appetite right now, seokmin would rather die than let you skip a meal, especially on a night like tonight when you could really use something to keep you going.

you throw your overnight bag on the floor of seokmin’s living room with a small sigh. in a haze you’d tossed in whatever items you thought you might need; a toothbrush, pajamas, something to wash your face with. 

he gives you space for a while as he pulls out the folding bed part of the couch and brings out blankets and pillows for you to sleep with. you don’t say it, but you really appreciate his help. he’s been one of your best friends for so long, and you don’t know what you’d do without him. 

you hadn’t thought about it while you were packing, but as you stand in seokmin’s bathroom you think about the cleanser you’d grabbed; your favorite one, the one jun had gotten you for your birthday last year and you’d never switched to another brand since. 

every single thing reminds you of him, and you push down a fresh wave of emotion as you scrub the foam into your skin, trying to wash away all your tears.

when you’re done getting ready for bed you find seokmin in the living room with a pot of tea. he was just trying to help, but unluckily for him, he’d made green tea. it was your favorite… but it also happened to be jun’s favorite.

and this time you can’t hold back your tears, and seokmin is sitting wide eyed and bewildered, wondering why you’re crying over tea, but he doesn’t ask. he just reaches out to let you hug him, and you squeeze him so tightly you know it must hurt, but he doesn’t say anything, just lets you hug him as hard as you can and lets your tears stain his t-shirt.

it takes another half hour for you to calm down enough to talk. you’d spent the time watching whatever was on tv, not really paying attention and instead playing everything back in your mind. seokmin had just sat next to you, quietly keeping you company until you were ready.

“jun and i… had a fight,” you say finally, interrupting the commercial playing on the screen.

“i figured,” he says, offering you a comforting smile as he mutes the tv. “do you wanna talk about it?”

“i don’t know. there’s not much to talk about.” you take a shaky breath, remembering it all one more time. “we both said some awful things that we didn’t mean. at least, i know i didn’t mean them. then he just… left, and he texted that he’d come home tomorrow. that’s it.”

you don’t tell him about the pregnancy test. you’ve mentioned once or twice that you and jun had been interested in starting a family, but you’d never gone into detail about it and you weren’t going to now. you still wanted jun to be the first person to know, even though you didn’t know when that might be anymore.

you tell him about other things instead, about your day at work and your plans for the weekend. eventually you finish your tea, and seokmin retreats to his own room and shuts the door with a quiet click, leaving you alone in the quiet of his living room.

it takes you a long time to fall asleep, but soon your exhaustion catches up with you and you let yourself rest, physically and emotionally drained. at least the silence here isn’t as bad as the silence at your house.

across town in his friend seungcheol’s guest bedroom, jun can’t stop tossing and turning. he’s fucked up, he knows he fucked up, big time.

why did he leave? he shouldn’t have left. you had been absolutely right, he was running away from everything and it was stupid and dumb and immature. but in that moment all he could think about was what the next awful thing he might say to you was, and he knew if he had stayed for any longer he wouldn’t have been able to stop what came out of his mouth. he was out of control, and immediately he knew it.

not even the worst day in the world could make you deserving of all the things he said to you. you were the only thing that wasn’t bad in his life; even on shitty days like today, all you did was care about him. and all he did was hurt you.

jun barely sleeps that night, finally forcing himself out of the extra bed at dawn. he’d been too anxious to sleep, too frustrated with himself to do anything other than think about everything he did and wonder if you were okay without him.

he’d already gotten an earful from his friend last night, and he knew he was still in big trouble. the things he said wouldn’t just go away overnight. in fact, they’d probably gotten worse by leaving them to build up overnight, and again he’s kicking himself for ever leaving in the first place.

he packs up his things as quickly as he can, eager to get home and see you again. on his way out the door, he thanks seungcheol for letting him stay the night and he apologizes for bothering him so late.

“i’m not the one you need to apologize to. you better figure out how to fix this, jun.”

with a straight face he nods, bowing his head as he closes the door.

in his car, jun takes the long way home, trying to find an open grocery store. he knows it won’t make up for how he acted, but the very least he can do it buy you a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

he walks through the aisles, basket in hand, trying to think of something else for you. maybe he’ll get the ingredients he needs to make your favorite dinner tonight; he hadn’t eaten last night, though you had offered to cook for him and he’d shot you down.

he feels another pang of guilt at the thought, remembering yet another kind gesture you’d tried to give him that he’d brushed off like it meant nothing. it meant everything to him, and in the middle of the frozen vegetables aisle he swore he wouldn’t ever do it again. 

he’d taken you for granted, and he was so lucky that things hadn’t ended worse than they did. he could’ve said something truly unforgivable, or he could’ve even lost your relationship altogether. but he was still yours, and you were still his, and he would just have to work extra hard to make sure you knew how sincere he was.

he’d been a little worried that you hadn’t texted him back last night, seeing that you’d read his message but never responded. you were probably still hurt, and he didn’t blame you; still, he’d hoped you would say something back.

with grocery bags loaded full of ingredients for dinner and the special things he’d bought for you, the drive back home feels a little more hopeful.

he plans out everything he’ll do in the car. he’ll bring the groceries in and put them away quickly; it’s still fairly early in the morning, so hopefully you won’t be awake yet. he’ll arrange your flowers all nice in a pretty vase, and he’ll come in and wake you up with the best apology of his life and hopefully a really big hug. after the last 24 hours he really could use a hug, and he’s sure you could too. and then he’ll explain how sorry he is and how he didn’t mean any of it and then everything will be better again. yes, everything will be okay.

the first part of his plan goes perfectly. he sneaks into the house and when he’s met with silence he continues putting everything away, quietly so he won’t wake you up in the other room. then, he puts the flowers in a vase and with everything in place, he walks down the hallway to finally face you.

but when he twists the bedroom door handle, the bed is made and the room is empty. you aren’t there.

he frowns, leaving the room and poking his head into the bathroom, then his office. he calls your name loudly, hoping you’re just in a corner of the house and you’ll come out once you hear him. but no reply.

he goes back into the living room and sets the vase down on the coffee table, trying to think. you aren’t usually up this early, but maybe you hadn’t been able to sleep and you’d gone out for a walk, or maybe you’d gone to the store to get more cereal? 

a sinking feeling rises in his chest, and he walks back into the bedroom to confirm something, sliding open the closet door to check. your overnight duffel bag is gone.

he ducks back into the bathroom to check something else. your toothbrush isn’t sitting in the jar like it usually is. he slides open the bathroom drawer to check one more thing, and—

his hand freezes on the knob, staring at something in the drawer that wasn’t there before. he’s not sure it is what he thinks it is, but either way there it is, clear as day in front of him: a little white piece of plastic, sticking out from underneath a tissue. 

gingerly he pulls it out, holding it up to the light to see it better. when he sees the two pink lines he nearly drops it in shock, but he stops himself, setting it gently on the counter instead.

this is something special, something precious, and he knew he had to take care of it. you’d saved it for a reason; you could’ve easily just thrown it away once you knew the results, but you had kept it instead. were you going to give it to him?

he covers his mouth with his hand, still staring at the stick sitting on the edge of the sink. it was just a cheap piece of plastic, but to him it was the most important thing in the entire world.

he deflates when he realizes you’d probably been planning on telling him last night, before he’d blown up at you. if he’d been paying attention to anyone other than himself, he would’ve noticed your mood was happier than usual, your face glowing with contained excitement. he should’ve been paying attention.

there’s a sense of urgency in his stride as he dashes around the house, looking for any other sign of you, but it’s clear you weren’t there. there were so many places you could be, he can’t even begin to think of where to look. your parents, friends, family; hell, you could even have stayed in a hotel, alone and upset. he should’ve been there. none of this should’ve ever happened.

immediately he presses the speed dial for your phone, but of course– no answer. he calls again, and again you don’t pick up. he curses, resisting the urge to slam his phone down on the table in frustration. no, he has to stay calm. that’s what got him into this whole fucking mess in the first place.

he remembers that your parents are out of town on vacation, so you probably wouldn’t have gone there. you wouldn’t have gone to a hotel because you always lecture him about the importance of saving money “just in case”, so you wouldn’t have paid to stay somewhere. your sister is still in college and shares an apartment with three other people, so probably not the best idea either. 

that narrows it down to one of your friends’ houses; seokmin, who lives a couple blocks away, or joshua, who lives on the other side of town.

he figures seokmin is his best bet, so jun takes a deep breath and finds the contact in his phone.

“what do you want?” seokmin’s usually cheery voice has an edge to it today, and jun knows he’s picked right.

“is she there?” he asks anxiously.

“she is,” he confirms, and jun exhales, letting out the breath he had been holding in. “but she’s asleep still. i’ll let her know you called.”

“wait,” jun adds quickly.

the line is silent for a moment, and he’s afraid seokmin’s already hung up, but finally he gets a response. “what is it?”

"can i–are you sure? please," jun pleads. if he could just talk to you, just explain what happened and that he's so fucking sorry—

“hold on,” seokmin says, and the phone goes quiet again.

jun’s heart is in his throat as he waits for a response, and he stops when he finally hears your voice. “hello?”

he breathes a sigh of relief. “sweetheart. i’m so sorry.”

you don’t reply, so he continues.

“i’m glad you’re okay,” he starts, trying to put the right words together. “i shouldn’t have said any of that last night, and i shouldn’t have left. i didn’t mean it. i’m sorry.”

“thanks” is all you say, and he hates how small and sad your voice sounds. it’s his fault you sound like that.

“i found your test,” he bursts out, unable to hide his excitement any longer.

“oh." you pause, swallowing. "so… you know.”

“yes, i do know, baby. i’m so sorry, if i had known before—”

you cut him off, your tone suddenly rising with anger. “‘if you had known?’ so you won’t yell at me if i’m pregnant, but you’re just fine with yelling at me when you think i’m not? is that the only reason why you’re even apologizing to me right now?"

“no— fuck, no, of course not. i shouldn’t yell at you, period. and i’m not going to ever again.” jun pauses for a second, rubbing his hand over his eyes. he’s done nothing so far but make everything worse. “i really messed up, honey, and i’m sorry. i can’t say it enough. but— please, come home. i don’t want to talk over the phone.”

you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to will away the tears that threaten to fall again. you don’t want to cry about this anymore. “okay,” you say finally. “i’ll be home in a little while.”

“thank you,” jun says, and the way his voice breaks makes your heart sink. you can tell he feels awful about everything, and you do really, really miss him.

“…i love you," you add, changing your mind at the last second.

“i love you, too!” he says immediately. “i love you, too, honey. text me when you’re on your way.”

“i will.”

he says “i love you” twice more before you end the call. you sit in silence for a second, processing everything before you stand up off the couch and head to seokmin’s room to give him back his phone.

"can you take me home now, please?" you tell him softly, and immediately seokmin stands up and hugs you, his arms wrapped tightly around you.

"of course. let me know when you're ready."

half an hour later you find yourself in the front seat of seokmin’s car once again, this time sitting nervously in his driveway as he puts your bag in the trunk for you. you're still not sure if you're ready to face jun yet, but you know you have to.

reluctantly you unlock your phone and open your text messages with jun, your eyes landing on the text he'd sent last night that had gone unreplied. with shaky fingers you type out that you're leaving seokmin’s house, and jun replies almost instantly with a long string of heart emojis.

seokmin gets into the car and starts it, and you exhale and set your phone in the cupholder.

"are you okay?" he asks, turning to look at you. "because you can always let me know if you need anything. anytime, day or night."

"i'm alright," you say, taking a deep breath. "i'm fine. but thank you, seok. i really appreciate everything."

he smiles, shifting the car into reverse. "of course. it's no problem at all."

the second he hears the car pull up outside the house, jun jumps up off the couch, smoothing his shirt down anxiously. through the window he watches seokmin hand you your bag and close the trunk, giving you one last hug before he gets back in the car. he doesn't drive away until you're at the front porch, and with a deep breath jun swings open the door, before you can even knock.

you both stand there in silence for a second before he blurts out another apology. "i'm sorry," he rushes to say. "i'm really sorry."

you give him a weak smile. "can i maybe… get in the house, first?" you ask quietly, motioning with your free hand at the doorway.

"yeah, i— yeah, shit, of course," jun says as he practically jumps out of your way, holding the door open for you to walk inside.

you set your bag on the floor by the couch as he closes the door behind you. the sound of the lock clicking seems too loud in the uncomfortable silence that settles over the room.

"can… can i give you a hug? please?" he asks, and you stay quiet but nod. 

he closes the distance between you in one stride and wraps his arms around you, squeezing you so tightly and holding you close to his chest. "i'm so sorry, honey. i didn't mean any of it. i promise."

"i believe you," you finally manage, your voice a little muffled from how he's pressing you against him.

he doesn't say anything more, just holds you and holds you, and it feels so good to be home where you belong. there's a lot that needs to be said, but for right now you don't need any more words. you're just glad to be back together again.

after a while you pull your head away from him so you speak. "i'm sorry."

"why are you apologizing? you didn't do anything wrong, baby. i'm the one that needs to be apologizing."

you shake your head. "no. i said some things last night, too. granted, not as bad as you, but…"

jun breaks out into a grin at your joke, and you feel your mood start to lighten. "…which is true. and i'm sorry."

"jun, you can stop apologizing now. i get it, you're sorry. you don't have to tell me a million times," you say, trying to laugh a little.

now it's his turn to shake his head. "well, i'm going to anyway. because i am sorry." you look away from him, feeling embarrassment start to boil up, but he continues talking. "i'm serious. i'll say it as many times as it takes to make it right."

you turn your head back to him, struggling to keep a straight face. "why did you leave, jun?" you ask softly.

he takes a deep breath, and still trapped in his arms you can feel his chest expand with the breath. 

"it was stupid," he says finally. "i left because i didn't want to stay and risk hurting you more. but i realize i did that anyway, by leaving. i was just… i needed some air. but i shouldn't have stayed away, and i'm not gonna do that again. i won't do it, ever again."

"i just don't want you to leave me," you manage, trying and failing to hide the crack in your voice as you feel your eyes start to well up with tears.

he hugs you tighter and one of his hands comes up to cup the back of your head, gently smoothing your hair with his thumb. "i know, baby, i'm sorry. i'm not going to, i promise."

you don't respond, but you know he's telling the truth. the last 24 hours have been hell for the both of you, and you don't doubt he means every single "i'm sorry" he's said.

"so…" jun starts, and you tilt your head up at him.

"so?" you know what he's going to say next, and despite the excitement you had yesterday you feel yourself dreading this part of the conversation.

"you're pregnant?"

you sigh, looking down and avoiding his eyes. "yeah."

he hums. "but you don't sound excited?" he asks.

"well, i was, last night."

"i'm sorry," he winces. "do you wanna tell me now and i'll pretend this didn't happen and i don't know about it?"

you shake your head. "no, it's fine. the moment's kinda… ruined, already."

he sighs. "yeah, i know. i'm sorry i ruined it."

"i said it's fine, jun."

"no, it's not fine," he says firmly. "it's one hundred percent my fault. this is important to you, and to us, and we should be celebrating right now. last night should never have happened."

"jun, it's in the past. it was messed up, but i forgive you," you say, lifting you head to look at him once more. "it's not a big deal. we're okay now."

"i just want you to be happy about it," he says with a sniff. "we've been trying for so long, and finally…" he trails off, staring at you with watery eyes. 

you smile at him. "i am happy about it, junnie. i'm so happy, you can't even believe."

"did you tell seokmin?" he asks, and his brows furrow when you shake your head no.

"no, i didn't. i wanted you to be the first i told," you say shyly. "i knew you would want to be the first to know."

"i love you so much," he says, still hugging you. he's never going to let you go, never again. "do you know how far along?"

"no, i didn't go to the doctor. probably like two or three weeks, though, if i've been counting it right."

"wow," he sighs, a smile on his face as he stares off into the distance behind you. "i can't wait."

you watch his eyes, practically able to see the thoughts running through his head. 

after a while he loosens his grip around you, moving to swipe at his eyes quickly with the back of his hand. "well—anyway," he starts, giving you an awkward chuckle. "i bought stuff for breakfast. if you haven't had any, yet. and i'm making dinner tonight, too."

before you can even respond his eyes widen, like he's just now remembering all the things he had planned, and he lets go of you, bounding into the kitchen. he returns seconds later with a huge glass vase full of flowers, practically tripping over his own feet in his rush to hand them to you. "and i got these for you, too. sorry they're not the best, it's all the store had this morning."

"junnie, if this is the best the store had, then i don't think i wanna see their best," you laugh, holding the flowers up and admiring the dozens of bright blooms. "this is gorgeous, but you really didn't need to get me anything."

"but i wanted to," he counters, still running around the room to grab the gift bag sitting by the couch. "consider it an 'i'm very sorry' slash 'congrats you're having a baby' gift."

you set the vase down on the table next to you and take the bag from him, pulling out the tissue paper and crumpling it into a ball.

"i didn't have a whole lot of time to look this morning, but i found these," he says nervously, waiting for your reaction.

from the bag you pull out a miniature plastic hanger holding a set of tiny pajamas covered in little kitties, attached to a matching set of striped orange socks.

"i wanted to be the first person to get you baby clothes," he explains as he fidgets with his hands. 

"i knew you would," you smile at him, setting the empty bag and the clothes on the table along with the bouquet of flowers. "and they're perfect. they're so… you."

you throw your arms around his neck, pulling him back in for another hug. "i love all of it. thank you, jun."

he grins, rocking you back and forth in his arms and leaving kisses all over your cheek. "i love you too, baby. i missed you so much. i won't ever do that again."

"i know," you smile. "now… you promised me breakfast, isn't that right? because i'm starving. crying is exhausting."

he laughs. "no crying anymore. and i did promise you that, so tell me: do you want blueberry waffles, or strawberry?"

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[jade-len]

guys, guys.

be honest with me. would anybody be willing to read any SVSSS x reader stuff (or, just SVSSS with reader fanfics in general?) like please i'm being so deadass right now. i am very willing to write, it's just that i have no clue if anyone would want to read that???

i know that the people in this fandom don't necessarily have any x or & readers, but i'm sad and pathetic and have a weird emotional attachment to the characters. like hear me out guys.

i present to you all a few ideas i have:

1. reader transmigrates into SVSSS and decides, fuck it, let's become a counselor/therapist/emotional support service pal. half of the conflicts in the novel would've been prevented if therapy, communication, and simple observation existed! mu qingfan, give me a chance!! i promise this will lower the qi deviation rates by at least 50%.

liu qingge? alright, let's work on learning identifying your feelings better and not respond via violence to every situation. shen jiu? hey, hey, it's okay to be vulnerable! no- please don't go self projecting yourself onto an innocent 14 year old. luo binghe? *pulls out 5 different documents* heavens, where do we even start? like, gods forbid any of them have a proper support system, or at least be able to express their feelings and deal with them in a healthy manner!

2. liu qingge x reader where he gradually stops painfully pining and gets the love that he deserves. he gets his pretty face cupped gently and kisses all over it. that's it. that's the fic idea.

3. bingge, the original luo binghe, gets sent back in time.. all the way back to right when his mother died. he believes that he's been given a chance to re-enact his revenge, play it smart all the way from the start and have an upper hand now that he has to relive this! however, that quickly changes when this random fucking person (aka, reader) just wont stop bothering him?? what the hell do they want??? (for this one, i'm not sure if reader should be a transmigrator who believes they're in SVSSS instead of PIDW and is unaware of the whole bingge thing, or just some npc that proves him wrong about kindness).

4. SVSSS hater (or someone who just has a very complicated relationship with it!) reader transmigrates into it after tweeting "stupid author, stupid novels". they then proceed to accidentally collect two husbands they were so actively against before. ugh! now that i'm here, i guess i'll try to help out with their relationship and give my advice so that they won't have so much conflict, ones that were super frustrating to even hear about!! shen qingqiu, that dense ass guy and unhealthily codependent luo binghe! wait, what? what do you mean they both want me to be part of their marriage now??

sincerely, very much inspired by this tweet (reader most likely isn't going to be an anti, though);

low-key might combine the first and fourth fanfic idea? will make reader gender neutral (or even male!) though. but overall idk. idk if people will even wanna see that at all, man. ok please give thoughts. or not lol

(10-11-23 edit: i'm currently writing the bingge one rn!)

[m0rkl]

The People We Become || Reverse AU || FiddAuthor

Hurray I have a name for this AU now! Please come yap with me more about this and the messy FiddAuthor relationship I'm about to describe

Fiddleford and Stanford's Relationship

After their initial falling out because of the portal and Bill, Fiddleford had told himself he was going to erase his memory of his entire partnership with Ford and go back to his wife and child. He promised Emma-May this would be the end and, were this the canon timeline, this would be the final use of the memory gun that really fries Fiddleford’s brain making him the ‘Old Man McGucket’ we see in canon.

But when Stanley falls into the portal and it blows up, Fiddleford notices the explosion and rushes to the lab instead. He ends up taking care of an unwell and confused Ford and not going back to Emma-May. He explains to her that Ford doesn’t have anyone else and Emma-May understands that, but she can’t have Tate expecting his dad to come home when Fiddleford simply won’t put them first. They agree to a divorce and that Fiddleford will stay out of their lives for a while, except for birthdays, holidays and the like.

Emma-May and Fidds have a good relationship nowadays, but Ford is very awkward around the family and has no interest in being a father figure to Tate. This is one of many points of conflict in Ford and Fidds relationship.

Early in their relationship, they had a lot of issues due to Ford being insensitive and getting frustrated with Fidds memory issues, but ended up going to couples therapy and having Ford learn how to assist Fidds through his memory lapse episodes and set up the house in a way that would be helpful to him.

They might be married but their relationship is far more complicated than at first glance.

Ford is ace-aro, but loves Fiddleford in his own way. He wants Fidds to be his companion for life, but it's not romantic love.

Fiddleford, however, is romantically in love with Ford and has to navigate the fact that Ford does not and will never want him in certain ways. Is it totally healthy? No! No it is not.

They sleep in separate bedrooms, but Fiddleford will sleep in Ford’s bed on occasion, especially if he’s had a memory lapse that day.

They’re legally married. Ford was the one who brought it up after gay marriage was legalized. He was very excited, but extremely unromantic about it as he thought it would be great for their tax situation and health care. Fiddleford was endeared, but a decade later is still sad they never had a proper wedding. Fiddleford loves referring to Ford as his husband or other pet names, but Ford almost exclusively called him Fidds or Fiddleford.

Fiddleford very much grounds Ford and reminds him how to be a human being rather than a work-machine. He gets him to eat regularly and sleep a semi-decent amount, as well as tries to help regulate him emotionally sometimes, even if he isn't always successful.

Ford challenges Fiddleford's creativity and they still work on inventions together, even after Ford starts turning more to writing. They go on adventures, chasing after the bountiful weirdness of Gravity Falls and save each other from various situations.

Over the years Ford is happy with their situation and Fiddleford is… happy? If a little unsatisfied. He knows Ford won’t love him the way he wants and Fidds desperately tries to convince himself he’s okay with how things are. But he is very much romantically in love with Ford while Ford cares about him and wants his company, but does not feel anything romantic towards him.He understands that Ford feels things differently and its not bad, but its not meeting all of his needs either. They both tell themselves this is fine when it's not really.

Everything comes to a head when eventually, Ford regains his memories and realizes what Fiddleford has been hiding from him all these years. 

They fight because in Fiddleford’s mind, he did this to save Ford from the portal and from himself. He knows Ford would have destroyed himself trying to save Stanley and put not only himself, but the whole world at risk opening it again.

Fiddleford tries to explain his point of view and how much he feels like he’s given and suffered for Ford over the years, but it goes unheard. Ford just is furious that he was lied to and likens Fiddleford to Bill, which isn’t wholly true, but devastates Fiddleford nonetheless.

While Ford settles Stanley into the house, Fiddleford goes to live with Tate, who does live in Gravity Falls.

Their break up causes some tension between Mabel and Dipper because Mabel is siding with Fiddleford and Dipper is siding with Ford. The twin’s aren’t entirely looking at the situation as black and white, but they do pick sides.

Mabel tries really hard to bring them back together through a series of ‘parent trap’-like hijinks, but it doesn’t really turn out like she hopes. However, Stan talks to Ford and they discuss the long years where Ford didn’t have anyone to rely on by Fidds. Stan also talks a little bit of sense into Ford and helps him realize that sometimes Ford lets his anger get the better of him and he doesn’t properly listen to what other people are trying to say.

Ford and Fiddleford finally do talk about their feelings and what went wrong on both ends. They decide that for the moment they still need some time apart for the moment and they’ll see how it goes from there.

[meafortuna]

ASTRO NOTES #4

I was thinking this was going to be a synastry one, but it turns out it will be a mix. 😅 Enjoy and don’t take anything personal! 🫶

• Mars in Aquarius it’s so unpredictable when it comes to their anger. It will be easier to explain, if you imagine the following situation - The native tries to unlock the door 9 times and the door doesn’t open. Our person seems pretty cool… and then on the 10 time they just start to 🌪️, u know. 😁 Well after five minutes everything is just fine, but that 5 minutes would be hell for you if you stand in their way. And don’t touch them, ok, that will make their craziness go even worst. ⚠️

• Moon in Gemini u are so bi polar, everything in you is such a mess. I mean… your emotions swinging with your thoughts, just like the Moon changing her phases. Ocean of thoughts, that’s you guys. 💭 Really moody, always overthinking, anxious, but deserves the world. *at least that’s the funniest Moon sign and who doesn’t love to laugh?! love ya! 🫶 ♊️

• In synastry if there is a Chiron conjunct Moon or vice versa it can be really helpful for the natives. The Moon person recognise the pain in Chiron person and tries to heal them from their past traumas. For the Chiron one it seems easier to open up in front of Moon and that doesn’t make them feel ashamed of their wounds. Really beautiful connection, accept there are some hard aspects. ❤️‍🩹🌓

• Does anyone have problem to recognise a Pisces Sun?! 🐠I don’t know if i am crazy, but they all are so different from each other, and i have a lot pisces around me… Maybe cause Pisces collect in themselves all the qualities of the other 11 signs, or maybe because they are ruled by Neptune and can afford to be whatever they want or don’t know who they are, because of that Neptune influence. Like the water they can be calm, stormy, deep… And one more thing which it’s not necessarily true, just my observation. Most of the Pisces i know have a water rising. 💦

• Mercury RX = Mercury conjunct Uranus or in Aquarius. 🤝 They just don’t know how to express themselves in a right way. Super smart, different point of view, innovative, but it’s hard for them to explain what they wanna to say. Always thinking they are misunderstood or some kind of weird, which only feeds their God complex, they love to feel different. ( Aqua guys are with the biggest God complex of all zodiac signs). 😅

• Pluto conjunct Nessuss it’s so powerful aspect to have. These natives transform the pain into strength, very healing power! 🧡On the topic of Nessuss i want to warn you, if you have personal planets conjunct/square Nessuss in synastry, please be careful with that person, especially with the conjunctons to Moon, Venus and Mars. That’s an indicator for having a violent relationship. I noticed Moon conjunct Nessuss most of the times it’s a sign for emotional or mental abuse. Mars square Nesuss for physical abuse. If you have some of this aspects with someone, please don’t ignore. 🙏

• You can always spot a Taurus men, because they will do anything to see them. 🤡 They will try so hard to get your attention in some kind of funny way, with their silly jokes. But they are not funny at all, I mean their sense of humor it’s so… conventional. For me is irritating, maybe it’s just me, maybe I’m wrong. 😅

• Native with Saturn in Pisces in sixth house it is an indicator for the individual have to grown earlier, also there can be some cases where there is a violence in the family or an abscent father. Person with this position of Saturn was forced to take care for things and people that are not their responsibilities, since they were a kid. There are so many suppressed emotions in them. Really important for them will be to learn how to set healthy boundaries and to look more often what’s going on with their health. The good thing with this placement is that after their 30 (Saturn return) the things going to start getting better. I promise! 🫶 🪐♓️

~meafortuna 💙

[grimm-bot]

I don’t see the parallels between Mable and Ford and Dipper and Stan. Can you explain cause i’m really curious now.

ok ok ok so. im not gonna cite any specific sources sorry im too lazy to go back but i promise you ive watched the series too much for it to be healthy

mabel and ford are both very much similar people. they're both very artistically talented, mabel made a lifelike sculpture of stan so you cant deny this one - they also both have very similar personalities, they're extremely blunt when talking to others and outwardly weird and proud of it, they just express it in different ways. i mean how many times has mabel directly called out dipper for doing Stupid Shit in the same way Ford has to Stan ? like at least three times. at least thrice. and theres definitely a parallel between mabel embracing being a weird little girl and making sweaters every day, eating toothpaste and whatever the unicorn creature from DDAMD was - she could choose to act normal, but why in the world would she ever? and ford not having that choice, so he pursues research of the supernatural to try and find a place for himself amongst the strange and unusual. both are also called out on by society for being strange - mabel just stands up to her bullies a little better than ford does. its also important to note that neither of them socialize normally at ALL. its just that mabel is so confident in herself that when she goes up to you and says HI I'M MABEL MY EARRINGS ARE NACHOS WANNA BE FRIENDS? you're like hell yeah!!! they are!!! lets be friends!!! theyre both so trusting too which leads to them being directly screwed over by bill, it isnt their fault at all but he STILL DOES IT. plus they both briefly dated a supernatural fish creature, and had an absolutely TRAINWRECK of a relationship that altered how they'll approach their future ones - mabels was with gideon, and fords was with bill.

and hoooo their twin. stan directly sees some of his younger self in dipper, most notably in dreamscaperers, which is why he tries to toughen the kid up. the two of them also solve a lot of their problems with Punching. as soon as dipper loses access to the journal he starts swinging. bro jumped off a cliff to punch a massive robot in the eye and also swung at a massive triangle god. he was NOT hesitating he just started swinging, exactly what stan does!!! and its for their twin. soooo much of what the both of them do is in pursuit of the goal of keeping their twin safe or getting them to safety. dipper sticks up for mabel against Pacifica exactly how Stan did for his family in Gideon Rises. they're also VERY intelligent + resourceful, and can fly by the seat of their pants with random information, stan rebuilt the portal with about a third of the blueprints and with zero funding, and dipper is shown doing complex math in an instant and using what little info the journal has on various threats to thwart them - part of this is also social intelligence. mabel may be a social butterfly but dipper and stan know who to trust and when and navigate their relationships extremely carefully. theyre also hella good at convincing people to do what they want - dipper redeemed at least two people by just talking to them, the only difference between the skill they have with words is that stan uses his to convince people to keep coming back to the mystery shack so he can make money, and dipper uses his to get people to fight back against injustice. i also dont think i need to tell you how insecure the both of them are in their identities. thats not even getting into the themes of self sacrifice

sorry this was long but tl;dr: a cutiepie wearing sweaters with a book vital to the plot whose eccentricities define them, and a smart&sly guy who has a way with words, with a front meant to hide their insecurities. okay was i talking about mabel and dipper or ford and stan in that order

[jamethinks]

I mentioned before that Anya is epileptic in my hc. The seizures are not bad or harmful just to be clear, they are actually beneficial and help prevent actual damage to her brain. It's like having an outlet that turns itself off when it starts to over heat or too much current flows through it. Currently however it is main triggered by using her powers too abruptly or using them in crowded spaces, two things she doesn't have control over and therefore cannot prevent easily.

The primary danger of her epilepsy is when it happens. Like with most seizures she goes unconscious somewhat randomly and can be in a position to get injured. Normally she gets lightheaded and Loid would remove her from the area (assuming she's just overwhelmed as an orphan in a foreign environment).

The first time she has an actual shaking seizure (I forgot the name) is at school during an assembly. She begins to feel lightheaded and tries to get away from the crowd. While walking down the stairs, she suddenly starts seizing and ends up falling down. She gets knocked unconscious but thankfully someone saw her as she fell and was able to get help.

They take her to the hospital and Twilight is shocked and confused and of course worried about the mission. Anya reveals that yes in the past she has fainted before but it was always unclear why. In the end the doctor diagnoses her with epilepsy and that she should be monitored until an actual source is found.

(Note: Handler knows that's its actually because of her powers and it's caused by over usage but there is no way to explain that to anyone without confusing them so she had the doctor lie and secretly treat her properly. She gets placebo pills to take to help control them lol)

Neither of her parents have a sane reaction to this diagnosis and it creates a lot of strife between them.

Yor on one hand is mad at Loid for never noticing his daughter was epileptic, clearly unaware of her previous episodes. It's a dangerous disorder and she should have been relieving treatment since before. He is a doctor after all, how could he have let this fly under the radar. It makes her reevaluate her understanding of Anya and Loid's relationship and she begins to notice that he doesn't seem to know Anya all that well and Anya doesn't seem to know him that well. There's a weird disconnect in their relationship that makes it feel too distant to say they were alone together for 2 years.

Twilight on the other hand is an anxious mess because of this. He deeply related to Anya and her childhood as an orphan and at some point promised himself that he will work towards improving her life and experiences so that she is able to grow up and be a happy healthy functioning member of society. To discover that she has epilepsy really shock him to his core. When she had that first seizure she fell down a staircase and got severely injured and actually started choking. The entire she was practically alone before someone was able to get to her. He couldn't help but imagine the worse, like genuinely scared something bad was going to happen to her if she doesn't get treatment. Then he's thinking about how many times she would have fainted at the orphanage only to be ignored or worse have no one even notice. What if that seizure were to happen when she was somewhere other than he crowded school. What if she was just walking down the street or in the middle of an emergency. The whole thing just reminds hum of what it was like being alone on the streets and having his own medical emergencies only to have no one there to help him.

It gets very bad for him. Every night he's in her room watching her sleep just incase she doesn't have an episode. Every time anya seems a bit loopy he panics. He won't let he do anything that might trigger them. He's reading books about it and making himself even more paranoid. One day he comes home and Anya is passed out on the ground and he just absolutely let's it all go on Yor because he thinks it was a seizure and Yor just ignored it. Don't worry she screams right back at his ass because as it would turn out the reason Anya was passed out on the ground is because he was keeping her up all night constantly waking her up because he thought she was seizing. She was so tired and grumpy and was throwing a tantrum so Yor just let her sleep on the ground right where she was. And now since Loid was screaming down the house like a lunatic she woke up and was grumpy all over again.

Of course Anya's powers were slowly developing and getting strong which means she was far more intuned with her dad and his anxiety was really rubbing off on her and she kept having nightmares of all the horrible scenarios he came up with.

So yeah no one took that diagnosis very well lmao.

[iridescentis]

Ride The Cyclone Sims 4 Legacy Challenge! 🎢💚

Welcome to the RTC Legacy challenge! This idea was created by me and @nischabrainrot a while ago and I think it deserves to be shown to the world! So here it is! :D

You have to be this tall to ride the cyclone (rules):

No cheats, beyond the usual (CAS, build, etc - no money cheats!)

You may alter any generation if you don’t have the pack(s) required and find base game alternatives to goals, but any rules you are capable of doing are compulsory. 

All generations must reach level 5 singing, to honour the Saint Cassian choir

Google Doc is here and the generations are listed below!

Generation 1: Noel Gruber Alone on the streets, you've gotta do what it takes to survive. Scavenge, homewreck, take money from rich old men, you do what you have to. You always wanted bad love, but maybe that's not all there is to life?

Aspiration: Serial Romantic

Traits: Romantic, Creative, Bookworm

Career: N/A

Requires: City Living

Rules

Start with 0 simoleons in a small unfurnished apartment (or an empty lot if you prefer)

You cannot be employed, you may make money however you see fit except from a job, options include: finding and selling collectibles, writing books, theft, marrying for money, homewrecking old married men and taking their money, and so on.

You cannot find a “soulmate” or healthy, long-term relationship until you have completed the serial romantic aspiration. If you never complete it, you must die alone.

If you don’t complete the aspiration, you can only have one child, to be your heir (either via science baby or a one-night stand if your sim/the sim you hook up with can get pregnant).

If you do complete the aspiration, fall in love and marry your soulmate, and have as many kids as you want. 

Generation 2: Misha Bachynskyi Growing up, you either rotted away in a dingy apartment with your parent, hopping between old dudes’ mansions for quick cash, or flourished in a loving family, your parent the strongest, and most morally questionable person you know. Regardless, your upbringing was weird. Maybe it was the instability, or your parent’s shady background, but a strong, rageful passion within you craves to run away, leave your hometown behind and start something new, a path towards stardom, your name on billboards. Secretly though, there’s a part of you that dreams of falling in love along the way.

Aspiration: Soulmate

Traits: Hot-headed, Materialistic, Romantic

Career: Freelance Musician (Music Production) -Youtuber - Streamer

Requires: Get Famous and High School Years + Get to Work/Dine Out

Rules:

If you grew up in a house, have your bedroom be in the basement.

As a teen, cause trouble at school: pranking, arguments, fights etc. Fight all bullies you see at high school, any time you see bullying at school, beat up the bully.

[Requires Lovestruck or a mod] Find a partner on a dating app.

Join a high school extracurricular activity and befriend at least one of your teammates.

Either: break up with your partner and become high school sweethearts with one of your teammates, or meet and exchange promise rings with the partner you met online. Whichever you choose, you must stay with them forever.

Max the media production skill + 1 performance skill of your choice (Singing Lvl 5 is already compulsory, but you can max that as your added skill, or choose something else like Dancing or Acting)

[Requires Parenthood, optional] Age up to YA with the Argumentative trait (low conflict resolution)

Once you are a young adult, move out of your family home and start your full time career. It is up to you whether you want to live solely off music production, or also become a youtuber/streamer as well, but you can’t join a normal career.

Marry your long-term partner and have 3+ kids, with a significant age gap between them (for example, a new baby towards the very end of adulthood)

[Requires Get to Work/Dine Out] Have your spouse open a cafe/bakery as soon as you get married, and run the shop with your kids.

Generation 3: Constance Blackwood You love your family, more than anything. Living in a big family home with your parents, who are still passionately in love and always have been, and your siblings, who you spent most of your free time growing up playing with and taking care of. You’re your family’s superstar, friend to all, nicest person in town, and one day you’ll take over the family business. But is that really all there is to life?

Aspiration: Big Happy Family

Traits: Good, Foodie, Family Oriented

Career: Running the family business!

Requires: Get to Work/Dine Out

Rules:

Have maxed relationships with all family members.

Max the social skill as a child

Maintain 5+ friendships outside family at all times

[Optional, requires Get Famous/Seasons] Join either Scouts or Drama club as a child and stay until you’re a young adult

Befriend a sim (as a child/teen) with one of the following traits: Self-Assured, Perfectionist, Self-Absorbed, Overachiever or High Maintenance. This sim will be your best friend.

As a teen, run the cafe/bakery after school and on weekends, and bake something every day

Go to every prom [Bonus: always go to prom as friends with your best friend, regardless of potential love interests]

[Requires Parenthood] Age up to YA with the Mediator trait (high conflict resolution)

If your best friend ages up to YA with a positive trait, stay best friends and/or date them. If your best friend ages up to YA with a negative trait, argue and end the friendship.

Max the cooking and baking skills

You must accept any and all invitations to festivals, no matter what, to honour the fall fair

Get married to your chosen partner quickly, ASAP. Move them into your family home as soon as you do - your family wouldn’t want you to move out!

When you age up to Adult, have a midlife crisis and start a new career. If your game gives you a midlife crisis on its own, follow every single request, no exceptions. 

Have one child, or have your youngest be the heir. 

Generation 4: Ricky Potts Your family love you, they do, but with so many people in one house, all the chaos of your multi-generational household, you fade into the background. So, alone with your boundless imagination, you dream and dream and dream, never quite understood by your peers, until you meet the right ones. All you know? Aliens are really hot.

Aspiration: Nerd Brain

Traits: Creative, Geek, Loyal

Career: Scientist

Requires: Get to Work and Cats & Dogs

Rules:

Max mental and creative skills as a child

Read every Sci-Fi book and watch movies daily

Have a pen-pal

[Requires Parenthood] Age up to YA with the Compassionate trait (high empathy)

[Requires City Living] Win the Ultimate Gaming Test and/or the Hackathon at Geekcon

Max the video gaming skill

Complete your aspiration, and switch to Friend of the Animals

Travel to sixam and meet aliens. Romance and marry one of the aliens, moving with them into a new home.

[Optional, requires Strangerville: Complete the Strangerville story and live there with your family]

Have 2+ kids with your spouse

Any space you have in your household, fill with cats. If you have your sim, your spouse, and 2 kids, you must have 4 cats. Your household must always be at 8 sims (the maximum), with as many cats as you can fit.

Generation 5: Ocean O’Connell Rosenberg Of all the people to be born into such an unconventional, unapologetically weird family, you wish it wasn’t you. You don’t hate your family, that would be extreme, but sometimes you find yourself as the white sheep of the family, the odd one out, the only normal one. Naturally, you harbour some resentment as a result. That’s not the only problem. No matter how much you convince yourself you’re the normal one, you have a secret that nobody outside of your family knows. How are you supposed to become the prime minister if everyone knows you’re an alien?!

Aspiration: Academic

Traits: Perfectionist, Ambitious, Snob

Career: Politician

Requires: City Living and Discover University [ + Get to Work]

Rules:

Have a strained relationship with family members (below 50 relationship points).

Get straight A grades all throughout education. Graduate early if possible

Either join an extracurricular activity, side hustle or part time job

Attempt to make friends, but use critical and condescending interactions with them, making attempts strained.

Keep your alien identity a secret as much as possible and anyone who finds out, becomes your enemy, however you see fit.

[Requires Parenthood] Age up to YA with the Responsible trait (high responsibility). 

Go to university and earn a History degree, this will advance you into your politics career

Mend poor relationships of the past - apologise to and befriend old friends, resolve enemies, reconnect with family, and try to be a better person.

Max the politics career, becoming National Leader AKA the president

Either marry an old friend you reunited with, a coworker, or remain single, but regardless of your relationship status, have two children.

Generation 6: Penny Lamb/Jane Doe

Raised by the president, with Alien DNA and a wild family history, it’s impossible for you to be invisible, even if you wanted to be. For the most part, you kept your head down, tried to avoid trouble and stayed in your lane, only causing a little trouble here and there with your sibling. That was until, through a friend of yours, you found the greatest sim to ever walk the earth, the most talented and admirable celebrity of your dreams, who you would do anything to meet and express your love for. Hang on a second, what rebrand?!

Aspiration: [Teen: Drama Llama] Country Caretaker/Friend of the Animals

Traits: Clumsy, Socially Awkward, Erratic

Career: Farmer

Requires: Get Famous, Cottage Living, My First Pet Stuff

Rules:

Become best friends with your sibling.

Complete your teen aspiration

Befriend a classmate as a child/teen. They, and your sibling, are your only friends. 

Early in your teens, find a celebrity to obsess over. During your mid teens, drastically change this celebrity [in CAS, go into their household and just change them up however you want] then HATE them. Attempt to attack and fight this celebrity.

Drop out of highschool out of embarrassment, and move out with your sibling and friend out of town, to an empty plot.

Start a farm on your new plot and become a full time farmer, still as a teen.

Buy a rat, and name him Virgil. As soon as Virgil dies, so do you, in any way you can. Suggestions: Buy a telescope and use it until you get hit by a meteor, grow a cowplant and let it eat you, or be killed by a Killer Rabbit/Chicken

Bonus, for fun, rename the Grim Reaper Karnak.

[nereidprinc3ss]

so um, i wanted to rant in here for a little bit. so far, i have loved your dybmn series and this makes me think that the way you write your characters complexities is so good. i’m a little afraid of sharing this as everyone here seems to love dybmn spencer.

because god, spencer is so unfair and insufferable. reader is insecure but not as unbelievable unbearable as spencer, i understand if i might be misinterpreting this but it was easy to deduce he would be the one projecting his own insecurities on reader.

it annoys me how he won’t give her the opportunity to truly enjoy her body as she wants to sexually engage with him. he claims he wants her and cares for her pleasure but sometimes it doesn’t really look like it, it feels like some sort of manipulative traumatic tactic to actually hold her hostage even though he says he’s not.

it’s contradictory. just because everything went wrong with elle, which is WEIRD considering his whore phase doesn’t gives him the right to expect that much from reader. god, he’s a profiler. he might not be able to actually read minds but i’m pretty sure he’s perfectly capable of picking up clues with his IQ.

specially during her first fucking time with a man. how would he want her to tell him she loves him if she’s still soooooooo inexperienced? literally how? i feel bad for reading it this way but the andromeda chapter fucked me upppp. there were all sorts of theories going on my mind after i read it.

she knows nothing about relationships and is constantly put into the dangerous position of wanting to please him, he never forces her but it’s pretty obvious she TRIES. how is that not enough for him? and it’s not just the sex, he has always had her affection at his disposition (i say this according to the way she’s agreed to accept his invitations to events like the bar or film festivals, the way she’s constantly kissing him without being sexual and always asking for him).

nevertheless, i’m really excited to see how the series will be evolving as they go. every chapter comes up with something new and i love that we’re able to theorize about it. i just really hope we get a big apology from spencer because….

i’m keeping this one:

💐

thank u so much for taking the time to share ur thoughts!! I rlly appreciate it lovely!! and honestly i don’t think you’re alone in disliking dybmn spencer😭 he gets a lot of hate!!

me explaining stuff abt reid below👇 there are reasons for him being the way he is it’s not ALL inexcusable i promise!!

he is honestly probably more insecure than reader. one thing a lot of people have asked me is “how does it make sense for him to be so traumatized from what happened with elle and still have slept with a ton of women after” and honestly psychologically speaking it’s really not a reach that he would have done that! often when people are really insecure about themselves they seek reassurance and validation from other people, and sometimes they go about getting that validation through sex! i imagine since elle he’s never had a real committed romantic relationship and it’s all been very casual hookups, sometimes w the same people but never breaching into romance territory (don’t mention maeve idk if she’s canon or not in dybmn universe lol)

and I don’t think he’s holding her hostage, he just truly can’t imagine that she loves him back. and if you think about it he has every reason not to. his affection hasn’t been reciprocated or received well for most of his life (elle, his dad, his mom, jj (sorry for bringing up jeid)). even if you’re receiving all the input that someone likes you, if you hate yourself enough you’ll go to crazy lengths to not believe it.

i agree that it’s not super healthy, but he knows that! in my mind that’s actually why he told her on the phone that they didn’t feel the same way—he was trying to essentially be like hey girl you should know im pretty sure you don’t like me as much as i like you, and that’s fine, but if it makes you uncomfortable then we should talk about it because i don’t want you to feel like there are terms and conditions on our relationship that you didn’t understand.

also it might be helpful to realize that in some ways spencer really is not more experienced with romantic relationships than she is. he had a situationship with elle that never went anywhere and a bunch of hookups (and maybe maeve but even if that happened it was like a fake relationship lmao they were e dating and I don’t believe he really loved her but that’s a post for another day). but he doesn’t know how to exist in a healthy relationship with a partner who really cares for him any more than she does. most of dybmn is from readers perspective and she FEELS that he’s way more experienced but that experience is pretty much limited to sex which is obviously a big hang up for her so not surprising that she focuses on it so much and his experience seems so vast. but yeah romantically he is also a late bloomer and fairly stunted. he’s kinda figuring it all out for the first time just like she is!

so anyway that was me defending reid for four paragraphs!! but also maybe he’s just an asshole idk men suck why am I defending one of them

thank u again for giving me an excuse to talk abt this!!! ily

[noxinkwell]

Let's Talk About: The Bizarre Relationship Between Readers and Writers/Authors and Book Reviews/Fanfiction Comments

So this is gonna be a rambly one and I'll put a TL;DR somewhere, I promise, but I've been on BookTok and I wanna talk about the weird relationship between authors/writers (published and non published) and readers. Let's create a discourse on the types of conversation we see online about books/literature and fanfiction. TL;DR: A book is not bad because you hate it. A character is not bad or poorly written because you hate it. And it is so freaking important to remember to think about what authors are intending to do with their writing before you make very strong claims about it. Writing is such a personal experience because of most of us (if not all of us) write from a personal place in our hearts. Getting negative feedback is not at all helpful from randoms on the internet so maybe don't share it where the author can easily see it (i.e. don't tag them, don't comment on their fanfictions).

Disclaimer:

We are all entitled to share our opinions.

The BUT to that is: We are entitled to share out opinions kindly, respectfully, and we should keep in mind keep the thoughts of those who are on the receiving end of those opinions.

Initially, I thought it was a cognitive dissonance but I'm not sure the definition quite matches up. But maybe it does, so let's go with it.

If anyone is curious though:

Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person's behavior and beliefs do not complement each other or when they hold two contradictory beliefs. 

Typical examples:

"I want to get healthy, but I'm not going to make the changes to do it."

"I could have done more work, but I watched TV."

"I really want to help the planet, but I'm not going to recycle."

To me, it occurs with readers like this: "I want to help make the writer better by giving some random concrit/constructive criticism to an author when I have zero idea on what their intentions are as a writer."

Or: "I'm going to leave a negative review for a book and it will impact other people to read the book or make the author change how they write."

I am mostly talking about this as a fanfiction writer and someone who reads more published writing than I do fanfiction (these days).

My first thing is: Goodreads. Or just comments/reviews in general on fanfiction and other literature/books.

Some of the Goodreads reviews are. fucking. bizarre. And by bizarre I mean, they are so aggressive. And they bring zero productive conversation to books. They're just inflammatory. They're not at all constructive and quite frankly, they're not helpful for readers either.

And let me just say, that is entirely fine. Y'know, I think book reviews are for READERS and not the WRITER/AUTHOR, but still... I'm not even sure what I gain as a reader reading this type of review:

*yawn* I'm really sad I wasted my time on this romance that was completely overhyped, in my opinion.

or

at any given time, i feel like i'm reading romance as a cry for help.

And when I see these types of reviews, I feel like people fail to remember this very simple thing: Not. all. books. are. made. for. you.

Not. all. fanfiction. is. made. for. you.

You. are. not. always. the. target. audience.

So why do you read it? Stop reading it—especially if you can't share that opinion in a kind way. It's not productive.

When I get feedback on my writing (as a fanfiction writer) I will always, always, always ask for specific feedback. Is this line okay? Are my characters coming across in this way? Is the pacing okay? Does this make sense? How's my SPaG? How's my prose as a whole? Am I varying my sentence structure enough? Is my character development going okay?

And sometimes, with my most trusted writing friends I will say: "Hey, give me whatever feedback you think I should hear. Give me what you feel is going to help strengthen my writing."

Because YES—in my opinion, some parts of writing is purely objectively good or bad.

So when I see reviews or comments about someone saying a character is objectively annoying or that they don't relate to them I get sad. When I see that someone says a book is bad because of xyz reason... I sometimes want to shake them because it's just not how that works.

A book is not bad just because you hate it. A character is not bad because you inherently dislike her/him/them.

A fanfiction is not bad because a character did not do something you didn't like. A fanfiction is ALSO not bad if the character was out of character from canon and you didn't like the choices they made (this one irks me the most as a beta reader and a writer).

Why am I saying all this?

Because sometimes, readers forget what the author or the writer is intending to do with their writing. Sometimes the writer intentionally makes the characters annoying. Sometimes the writer intentionally adds angst and hurt and pain and jealousy. Sometimes the writer intentionally adds TOXIC traits to a character because they thought it would be fun or because it serves the moral they're attempting to tell. Sometimes they're toxic because it's DRIVES THE PLOT.

If a character cheats or kills someone it does not at all mean 1.) the author is condoning it and 2.) it doesn't mean the character is a bad character or a poorly written character either.

It just means it didn't resonate with you.

So I want to ask you all: Do you ask yourself why you dislike something before you decide 'yes, I hate it'? Do you think about what the writers intentions are when you're reading? And hey, perhaps, this type of reading may take the fun out of it for you. And I get that. What I don't get though, is disparaging authors and writers who are trying to make a living or trying to write for fun because you feel the need to give criticism on something that you actually may not know enough about.

To top it all off, we don’t know the authors. We don’t know the writers. So an author/writing receiving “advice” or “constructive criticism” from a random “schmuck” in their writing is just not gonna over well. Writers take a lot of time practicing their craft. While we’re all entitled to an opinion, it doesn’t always need to be shared in the face of the creator. I say this kindly, sometimes, you’re reading a fanfiction or a novel and you don’t like it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you know why and it doesn’t mean that your opinion on it aligns with the goal of the person telling the story.

Constructive criticism is a WHOLE other post probably, but I'll just say this here: If you don't know how to give it, then don't give it. If they didn't ask for it then DEFINITELY don't give it. If you REALLY have to give it, think about what you’re saying before you say it. And if someone is upset with you giving concrit and they never asked for it, maybe look within and ask why you felt this was helpful for the person on the receiving end of that concrit.

Also, if you're gonna post something negative: Do not tag the author. And if you're gonna comment negatively: Don't post it on the fanfiction either.

Why? Because reviews are. for. readers. You saying that you didn't like something on a fanfiction does not do anything for the writer except discourages them. Fanfiction writing =/= Published writing.

If the author wants it, they'll ask. (And I will post something this later). Did you make it this far? If you did, damn. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Authors and writers are humans. We write from a personal place in our hearts. Sometimes we write about the things in our lives that hurt us the most. Sometimes we write about other extremely personal experiences. So getting feedback on it is scary and forcing negative feedback for them to see is not kind. Writing takes hours, days, weeks, months, and even years to do. Reading takes...a fraction of that. So before you go and destroy someone’s work with your words online, maybe think about it first.

I, too, am an avid reader and sometimes we just want validation for our opinions (good or bad). But sometimes it's important to remember how we share them.

[miscfandomgifimagines]

Random Lyle HCs

These are purely selfish sfw headcanons of my favorite blue boy. I’m not personally really familiar with the Avatar lore so I’m just going off my own imagination on some stuff. Also not sure how I want to go about my smut hc/fic for him so I’m stalling by writing this lol. I’m hoping to have some free time later this week to sit down and write some more, but I can’t make any promises. I’m really torn because all of my writing so far is done with my human oc as the base of my headcanons and I’m not sure if people would read my stuff if I used my oc and not reader inserts. Let me know if you have a preference one way or the other, maybe it’ll help me figure out what to do.

* Lyle is the type of person who would carry around a picture of someone close to him wherever he goes. The specific picture of you that he carries around? It’s a mirror selfie where you and Lyle are standing in front of the mirror flexing your biceps with a huge grin on both of your faces. Every time he looks at the picture he feels comforted. I don’t feel like the other recoms would make fun of pictures like this because everyone has someone special in their life that they would want by their side during rough moments.

* I feel like Lyle would be the type of person who wouldn’t mind reading, maybe not college textbooks or romance novels. But magazines about cars, fitness, guns, or anything similar? Loves them and reading them is one of his favorite low-energy hobbies.

* Lyle actually thinks most of Pandora’s wildlife is pretty cool. Back on Earth a lot of animals had died out so there really wasn’t anything aside from the occasional house pets. (*Not super familiar with the lore of Avatar’s Earth so idk if this is even accurate but just roll with it*) Obviously has a very healthy fear of most of the things crawling around in the jungle but every time he sees a cool lizard or even those monkeys he always stares for a bit. His favorite animal on Pandora? Ikran, his specifically. He thinks they are dope as hell and loves how vibrant the patterns are. Flying is just an added bonus.

* Still dedicated to his mission but finds his mind wandering about other possibilities such as what would happen if they fail again. He’s weirded out by being in an Avatar body the way it is now and the idea that all his memories are on a data stick in someone’s lab somewhere makes him uneasy. He doesn’t want to die but has the sinking feeling that the RDA would keep bringing everyone back as many times as it would take to finish business so to speak.

* Not one to believe in happy endings, especially after everything he’s been through but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be a nice change. Your presence through the readjustment period was a godsend and he’s crossing his fingers that you’ll get to keep in touch even as the mission progresses. Sometimes in the morning, he’ll just stare at you in the kitchen while you make yourself breakfast almost like if he moved his eyes from your frame you would disappear. When you catch him staring you make fun of him a little bit. “I’m not going to share if you keep staring like that.” Or “Why don’t you make yourself useful and start washing some of the dishes if you’re just going to sit there ogling.”

* Doesn’t like sharing even with the other recoms, but he makes an exception for Z-Dog simply because she’s the only one he trusts not to break his stuff. Quaritch is usually a no too surprisingly unless it’s necessary for the mission or to maintain a decent relationship. Gets kind of possessive over his stuff just because he hates when people take his stuff and don’t put it back.

* Lyle likes to listen to music when he’s at home base during his downtime. Whether that’s just by himself in his room, out in the common quarters with the gang, or in the science loft with you while you play your own music. I feel like he’d be the type to like mainly rock music personally, but he doesn’t make too much of a fuss about what other people are playing as long as it’s disrupting the quiet. I could totally see him branching out to metal music when he’s in the gym cuz it hypes him up.

* He’s surprisingly decent at braiding his own hair but insists that you do it when he gets out of the shower. He’ll sit on the floor crisscrossed in front of the couch and nestles between your legs, enjoying the warmth that comes from your skin. Sometimes after a stressful day, you spend a little bit of time massaging the back of his neck and the area around his queue gently and he just about melts every time. Also loves it when you sing to him while you comb and braid his hair.

* Sometimes if he doesn’t want your bonding session to end he’ll purposely make it harder for you by moving or swiveling his head around (to your annoyance). “Seriously, sit still! You are such a toddler. You want your shit fixed or what?” You smack him on the side of his head and he lets out a snort. “I thought we agreed to no hitting outside of the bedroom?” You let out a huff and tug his queue a bit. “I never agreed to that, especially not with how annoying you can be.”

* Hates going up into the science loft since the ceilings are shorter than the main level and he smacks his head into the lights and stuff but does it anyway to spend time with you. He’s a pretty selfish person and prefers to have his time with you be just the two of you. He’ll sit on the floor next to your desk and make small talk with you while you work on your projects. When he thinks you’ve been sitting for too long he makes you get up and go down to the kitchen where he’ll make you a snack and have you do some stretching.

* After a long day of you at your desk he loves to go into your room and stretch out (as best he can) on your bed. You like to complain that he messes up your pillows but you really don’t mind it. Lyle likes to pull you onto the bed with him and squishes you against his chest. When it’s just the two of you he doesn’t bother holding back his purrs because he knows you like them, but in front of the group he does his best to quiet it. You’ll usually stay cuddled up together until it’s dinner time or someone calls for him.

* I also think Avatars have scent glands just like normal kitties so when he rubs up against your belongings like your bed or your clothes he’s literally marking you as yours. As a “scientist,” you already knew about this, but you were a bit surprised to catch Lyle marking up the stuff in your room. He was a bit embarrassed when you caught him the first time, but continues to do it to the annoyance of the other recoms.

* I feel like Lyle wouldn’t mind cooking because it’s a necessary life skill to have and he’s pretty good at it. Hunting on Pandora would be a breeze for him. The fresh meat coupled with the veggies growing from your aquaponics would make a damn good meal. I feel like there are also a lot of weird recipes he follows, kinda like what broke college kids/ prison inmates would do (Ramen noodle burritos anybody?). Loves being able to “provide” for you which sounds silly but is always happy to cook for you, especially when you’re busy doing other things.

* Keeps his belongings and room pretty tidy. He’s not one to leave his stuff lying out which makes rooming with him preferable to the others, as you tend to trip on their stuff when they drop it all over the shack. Lyle catches wind of your annoyance and starts shoving stuff into the recom’s rooms so you have a clean living space to walk through.

* Likes helping you out in the gardens, whether it’s the native Pandoran patch outside the shack or the Earth one inside the outbuilding. You and your friend grow a variety of food found on Earth since you were still learning how to adapt to the foods on this planet. You head out each afternoon to check the crops and scribble notes down about the progress and Lyle likes to sneak strawberries when he thinks you aren’t looking.

* Lyle likes to make himself useful however he can whether that’s doing the heavy lifting, reaching for high objects, or fixing stuff around the shack. Does chores without being told to which was a pleasant surprise when you caught him outside fixing the rainwater basin. Loves helping out even more when you reward him with kisses and praise afterward even if he gets teased for kissing ass from the others.

* Hates when he has to leave for extended periods of time as he’s always worried about your safety out in the wilds. He knows he can’t get out of it so he does what he can to prepare you. “Okay so don’t go outside after dark, if you have to you both leave. One of you needs a gun and keep your-“ “Head on a swivel for any hostiles.” You give a small smile and grab his hand. “I know you’re worried, but we’re gonna be okay. You on the other hand need to promise me you’re going to come back. In one piece.” He squeezes your small hand and does his best to look sincere. “I’m always going to come back to you, no matter what happens.”

[yuri-is-online]

Hi! I know it's a bit weird of me to put another thing in your periphery so soon after my last check-in. But I'm currently caught up in Princess Peach: Showtime! brainrot and I thought you'd like to hear it!

So in one of your earlier posts you came up with the idea of Yuu having a modern Alice in Wonderland-esque overblot with Grim as their phantom. But, having spent the better part of a week trying to hundred percent this game (why am I like this?) gave me another worm. And it goes something like this:

What if Grim isn't the only one gaining something from those blot crystals?

Because in the game, Peach changes "form" so to speak, after taking in a bunch of Sparkle. So who's to say Yuu isn't unknowingly absorbing runoff blot from those crystals? Then who's to say that Yuu doesn't have similar "forms" to the Overblot boys? Snapshots immortalized in ink and imbeded in a human who is slowly but surely losing it. And, going along with your idea of a Yuu overblot, what would it be like for the boys to have to effectively face themselves should that happen? Now it's not just Grim they have to face but a reflection of them at their lowest and the one victim who has been dragged to it every single time. The pain, the fear, the regret! Ah! I didn't know I could think of something so angsty! (And that's not even talking about Peach's last form and the Yuu equivalent!)

Anyway, make of that what you will. I just wanted to get that out there. Hope you're doing well and staying healthy! Looking forward to the next thing you make!

Sincerely,

The anon who loves Riddle & Azul

I really do love the way you format your asks dear friend, it is rather like receiving a letter. It is splendid to hear from you again so soon.

I had a brain rot myself a bit a while ago thinking about how it would be interesting for Yuu and Grim to channel the overblot forms similar to Eden's Promise: Eternity in FFXIV:

In my mind I was thinking how I would design a boss fight where Grim has three forms and Yuu has three forms, and then they merge to channel the Thorn Fairy since she's too powerful for just the one of them... but meh that's neither here nor there. The idea of Yuu with forms that reflect the various phantoms and physical attacks that reflect the overblot boys is so delicious, but realistically I think the concept you are describing where the boys are being forced to face themselves is the point of the various chapters we are going through in Book 7 right now. Grim and Yuu twisted into an overblotted abomination... you could argue that facing them would be the equivalent of what is happening with the ob boys right now in his book. It would be easy for him to blame the other dorm leaders and act like if they didn't overblot then he wouldn't be forced to hurt his first friend... but then that would be a disservice to you. He very much had his part to play, the largest one perhaps. In you now is a twisted reflection of everything he hated about himself: his power and his inability to save those he loved with it. You don't need any form other than your own to taunt him with that.

I do think you are onto something about the crystals not just affecting Grim. If we think about the relationship between Grim and Yuu, I think it makes the most sense to say that what Yuu gains from the blot crystals is their premonitions of overblot? Memories sealed in crystal are a fairly common trope... so if the memories of the respective phantom is trapped inside of that crystal then Yuu's visions could be the crystals calling out to them. I am less solid on the "why" but when I think about it this way, something about Grim and Yuu's connection allows Yuu to "hear" the crystals forming, which is why we don't get visions of every bad thing that happens (Rollo and Fellow for example) because there is no "Flower of Evil" about to bloom. Perhaps the Great 7's crystals "belong" to Grim/the Chimera in some way so that's why they are calling to Yuu? I need to think a bit more, but oh I am so glad you sent this ask. It gave me so much to think about...