#Im sorry for whatever these shitty drawings are

[th3-past3l-cl0wn]

Kim Kitsuragi fanarts/fanworks from hit game Disco Elysium, choose your mischaracterisation‼️

-the babysitter

-the blatant racist caricatures:

•Jaundice

•Kitsuragi-Sama (aka your average wise old Japanese guy in Western medias that low key hates you, often associated with gooner art )

•The Racist caricature™️ from your local newspaper

-Jules Pidieu in Kim’s clothing

-eyebrow lifting, eye lifting, jaw shave, botox, buccal fat removal, hairline lowering

-mewing

-Ken Kitsuragi or a random white man in his 20s

For visual here is a chart made by yours truly

I love the de fandom but sometimes it feels like a prison

[coolnonsenseworld]

A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........

Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!

 mmezzy.bigcartel.com

[dots-in-my-head]

[problemcore]

cant an artist have fun and draw for themselves ??

[sludgeguzzler]

yk it kinda pisses me off how only my jokey drawings get notes on here

[jjsloverre]

after school -j.m

pairing: nerd!jj x popular!reader

in which… nerd!jj finally gets the courage to ask out popular!reader after she was forced to be his study buddy.

includes… cursing, a TINY bit of smut, handjob, fluff, overall cuteness 🤭

__________________________________________________________

it wasn’t shocking that jj looked at you everywhere you went. people would consider the nerd boy obsessed with you, the most popular girl in school. you never noticed him until your history class.

your teacher, mr. davis forced you to have a tutor because you were failing tremendously. and of course, jj already found a way to be your tutor. “you need to pass with a ‘c’ or higher or you are failing my class do you understand y/n?”

“fuck me…” you mumbled to yourself as mr. davis showed you your tutor. “who is this?” you asked. “don’t be rude y/n. this is jj maybank and he’ll be your tutor for the next two weeks.” you roll your eyes and reluctantly sat beside him. “i’m not studying at this stupid ass school, we can go to my house after school, don’t get any ideas.” you told jj straight up.

“l-like in your bedroom…?” he stuttered. you laughed at his nervousness. “no, i have a library in there to find all those shitty books about history or whatever.” he nodded. “so um.. im jj.” you rolled your eyes. “yeah i get that now.”

time skip…

jj showed up at your house as promised. you led him to your personal library. you both sat down as he tried to teach you whatever he was talking about. your eyes were wandering until you saw a large bulge poking out his pants. you immediately stopped him from talking more.

“yeah yeah no more of that.” jj looked confused. “did i say something wrong?” you shook your head no, and look down at his pants for him to also realize. once he does his cheeks deepened to a bright red. “s-sorry— i’ll take care of it—” you cut him off quickly. “or let me?”

jj didn’t realize it was even possible for him to grow harder in his jeans just from the words coming out of your mouth. “i never realized how good looking you are until i finally looked closely at you.” you kissed his neck and he moaned heavenly. “i-i’ve never done this before…” you lean up to kiss him. “yeah, i can tell.”

you palmed his hardening cock more and more until he started to jerk, a damp spot coming in his jeans. “jj did you cum already?” you ask. he shook his head no. “no- no i didn’t, it just feels s’good…” he gives you heavenly kisses to your forehead, to calm himself down. “here, let’s take care of it, shall we?”

he quickly nodded. “yes ma’am..” you took his dick out, it was big— bigger than you imagined with a little curve. your mouth watered at the sight. “i-is there something wrong?” he asked, his head resting on yours. “no, not at all.” you reassure him. “okay..” with that, you stroked him, slowly to tease. his tip leaking with precum. he looked so beautiful, you kiss his cheek and move your hands faster and faster.

“t-too much…” jj whined. “no, you got it jj, cmon you can take it.” you encouraged. he pulled you in for a hungry kiss, you gladly kissed him back. to you, he tasted like heaven. he moaned into the kiss, his balls drawing up tight. “i think i’m cumming! shit i’m cumming!” he screamed. you held your tongue out as spurts of cum erupted from his dick. he thrust into your hand until he was empty. you caught as much of his delicious release as you could.

“that- thats so hot..” he said, catching his breath. “you’re really cute jj.” you told him. he blushed and kissed your cheek. “do you… maybe want to go on a date? or you know? anything like that?” you cupped his cheek, kissing him between your words. “i would love to. now that all that is over, wanna continue studying?”

he nods, and hugs you. “i do a little, i’m happy you said yes.” you smile up at him, kissing him again. “i’m glad you asked me out jj.”

___________________________________________________________

a/n: i enjoyed writing this, should i do more parts of their date and potentially their first time?

taglist: @sturniologirlzz @sturns-mermaid @ethanthequeefqueen @aaliyahsturniolo @sophand4n4

[tactical-jellyfish]

The Mistakes That Have Been Made

Part 2.5 (bonus for the people. I think you guys need some good soup, from moi <3)

Warnings!: Angst, angst, and more angst. Reader will be MAD sad for most of this. Poorly-practiced, unhealthy polyamory. Reader will experience a LOT of gender and body dysphoria over the course of this (though I will do my best to keep it gender-neutral throughout, bear with me), but there WILL be comfort over that.

The team dynamics of the 141 have always been messy, ugly things, but this is ugly. You wouldn't wish it on anyone, really.

When you'd walked back to your own room, you'd heard Soap railing the daylights out of Gaz, cussing your name beneath his breath as the other sergeant groaned, high and throaty.

As awful as this feels, at least he's not doing that to you.

Johnny's always been a bit of a... rough bed partner, you know that, he's so eager to get into the heat of it that he never gives himself the time to warm up or cool down. Tends to be so enthusiastic that he doesn't offer much aftercare before he falls asleep, either.

Still, walking past Gaz's room brings back memories of that nasty, sick feeling that follows every intimate experience you've ever had.

It's the feeling that your body is somehow wrong, too tight in some parts and too loose in others, like the very existence of your form is a contradiction that just can't stand a second longer.

The way you hold your laptop shifts, pressing the metal into your chest to somehow remedy this ill. How? You're not sure. It doesn't work very well.

You try to shake it off as you open your door and sit on your bed, but the moans still breach your walls.

God, since when did Gaz sound like that? It feels like it's choking the air out of the room.

You put your best effort toward minding your own business, but you felt like you were losing your mind a half-hour into that endeavor, and instead thumped your fist on the wall, loud enough to send the message. Learning how to sign and trying to ignore... that was simply not a feasible task.

The moaning and creaking stops shortly after, and the sigh you heave is like no others, though you know damn well those two will definitely be pissy with you tomorrow.

Finally.

Plastic buzzing against the "wood" of your nightstand (shitty plywood painted white, as is standard issue) draws your focus away from that, if only for a second.

Heyhey! Do u wanna train together tmrw?? I think you'd do good if you took it easy w/me 😊 <33

The rubber and plastic of your case isn't all that comfortable in your hands, but you hold the magical little glass box in your hands anyway, peering down at the screen before chuckling to yourself.

Why should I?

Is your reply. It doesn't strike you that it might have been a bit on the nose, or that Gary might have read it differently, until the text bubble appears and disappears several times in a row, and you re-read it.

Oh no, you sound like an absolute asshole.

Sorry. I do want to, I just wanted to tease.

He's typing for another few seconds, before the bubble disappears one more time, and it starts to make you panic. More than you want to be panicking over him.

Don't be mad please, I'm sorry. I want to train with you.

How the mighty have fallen.

Look at you, desperately prostrating yourself before a rookie because you're absolutely moronic, praying that he'll offer you a reply. Whatever happened to four times the love?

Fuck. Don't think about that.

im not mad, ur fine just thought you might be a little grouchy from the meds or smth, wasnt sure if i should ask

You breathe a real sigh of relief at the returned messages, already more than tired by the day, but slightly soothed as you look down at the blue light of the screen, and send your last message of the day.

I'll see you at 0630. Goodnight.

A little red heart appears over your message, in the top left corner of the rounded bubble.

You plug in your phone and try to ignore how something in your chest squeezes at being deemed worthy of making plans more than two hours in advance.

It's a shockingly new thing, but goodness does it feel good, even if it brings on a sting of a more somber feeling.

Gaz and Soap sure as fuck didn't do this. Ghost either. You never expected Price to do that for you in the first place. Did they just... not think you were enough to make plans for? Was this pity?

You try to shake off the feeling as you bunch your blankets around your body, allowing your tired form to sink into the mattress and rest. The morning will clear your thoughts.

First | Previous | Next

[slvtforfiction]

Hi I think your request are open. 😭

Anyways I have a prompt where it’s like Jonnie meets a fan and like later on he kind stalks her media and accidentally likes something for an old emo phase and she dms him “??” And it just spirals from there into something cute?

An old phase,A new like

☆ Yesss!

☆ Love this,thank you anon x

☆ Sorry it’s so short

☆ Johnnie Guilbert X Reader

☆ Fluff

☆ If you are going to request: please check at the pinned post if requests are open,otherwise I will delete your requests which I have already been doing

☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

Masterlist | Pinned post

“So today we are-“ I look down at my phone as a notification pushed past my do not disturb, Johnnie Guilbert like your photo.

I knew Johnnie,we had text back and forth for a while about doing a video idea even though we had never done it. I had met him at a convention and most likely acted like the biggest fan girl alive.

I clicked on the notification and saw that the like was a photo from 2020,almost 4 years ago.

You:

Liking photos from 2020,huh?

Johnnie:

Sorry didn’t mean to.

You:

Nooo it’s okay sorry lol

Johnnie:

Okay good lol,thought you were mad

You:

No,no lol

Johnnie:

So how are you?

2 weeks later,

“I’ll see you again next week? Maybe another date?” I ask with a schoolgirl smile on my face, “Yeah ofcourse,I’d love that.” He replied and I smiled,kissing his cheek.

We walked back to my apartment and watched a movie,cuddling up to each other and sharing some popcorn whilst we watched some shitty romcom. Neither of us cared about the movie,though neither of us would say it. We just enjoyed the comfort of each other.

Around nine o’clock Johnnie left,I was sad to see him go but I knew he had an apartment to sleep in so I couldn’t exactly keep him.

6 months later,

“Hey Johnnie!” I smile down the phone,we hadn’t hung out a lot this week but I didn’t mind,opting to sleep on call for the week instead.

“Hey love,you okay?” He asks me and I smile at the nickname, “Yeah,im okay,you?” I ask and I could almost hear his smile.

It was always nice to hear johnnies voice,it had become comforting over the past month or so,despite his energetic attitude. He always knew when it was time to settle down and he always knew what to say and how to say it. It made me envy those closest to him.

“So how was your day?”

1 year later,

“Happy 6 month anniversary!” He said as he hugged me,I smiled and kissed him as I grabbed some chocolates I had bought him.

He handed me some flowers and chocolate and I smiled, “Happy 6 months!” I smiled at him,my face beaming with excitement.

One phone call 6 months ago had led me to become infatuated with him,though I would be lying to say that I hadn’t had a small crush on him since I first text him.

We sat down on his sofa in his apartment and smiled as we put on the same shitty romcom that we always do,it had become our tradition and no one was complaining. As long as I got to snuggle up to the comfort of his chest I didn’t mind.

It had become apparent to both of us that we didn’t really care what we watched as long as we were with each other. I smiled as I snuggled into his chest,something that had become somewhat familiar with us. He snaked his hand around my waist and we sat their in comfortable silence as we admired each other.

2 years later,

“Happy one year!” I say as I wake up next to him in our apartment, “Happy one year.” He smiled at me,clearly as tired as he always was,I smiled at his goofy little smile and kissed him on the cheek.

“I got you something.” Johnnie whispers as he reaches into his draw,on the other side of the bed. He pulls out a ring box and I smile as he opens it, “I got us those Pandora promise rings you like.”He says with a smile. I sit up in bed and shimmy onto his lap pulling him into a deep hug. “Thank you Johnnie!” I almost yell as I kiss all over his face.

“Do you wanna be the moon or the sun?” I ask and he shakes his head “Whatever you want princess.” He chuckles and I immediately give him the moon ring. “Johnnie,we’re literally the sun and the moon.” I smile and he nods his head, “I love you so much,thank you!” I say happily and he smiles at me as he gives me a peck to the lips.

“I got you something too!” I say with a huge smile beaming across my face, I reach into my draw and pull out three wrapped presents. I feel like a parent watching their child open their presents with glee.

“Awh thank you baby!” He says pulling me back in for a hug and I smile,accepting the hug gratefully.

6 years later,

“I love you so much,I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else,Y/n Y/l/n, will you marry me?”

“Yes!!!”

[goat-fanatic]

hihi not a creature au ask sorry but do u have any tips to improving art skills? /gen, second question how did u get into digital art?

dont be sorry the asks are for anything really

my biggest tip is pretty boring and has been said a billion times probably but you u fortunately need to do the boring basics. you can go anywhere you want from there and its gonna be much easier. ex. - drawing alot of boring 3d shapes in dofferent types of perspective. boom now you can draw backgrounds. drawing from models in realism  (live ones are better but photos are great too). boom now you have the skill and knowledge on how the human body works and can play around with it to develop ur own art style. greyscale form practice (like shading cubes or drapery or still life). boom u understand how light and shadow works. the hardest thing really (imo) is learning colour. me personally, traditional painting (acrylic, oil, guache, tempera) helped the most (again ALOT of still life). but learning colour theory, or just fucking around with whatever colour medium you like until it looks good is also very helpful. so again basics are really important.

next thing is, use resources. theres so many free  art resources out there and theyre very helpful. my personal fav lately are quickposes and david finch on youtube. use refs, if needed take ur own.

also mindset stuff like being okay with making "bad" drawings. shitty sketches, wierd colour xombinations, wonky perspective. making art is not abt not making mistakes, but abt making them and learning from them cuz if u dont try ull never get it right, even if its bad at first. also always go from overall to detail. make 5 minute sketches, that forces u to focus on form and translatinf the overall idea more than hyperfocusing on detail. and ofc alot of consistent practice. draw every day, whether its a 5 min aketch or something more polished. (im gonna attach some of my oractice sketches so u get the idea of what im talking abt cuz i feel like im not the best at explainin)

as for digital art, i was first drawing on a regular ass samsung tablet with a pen wrapped in tin foil (it makes it work like a stylus fun fact) on ibis paint which is free and honestly it was great. on thing is if ur starting digital get some free simple program cuz if u try to start with something thats "industry standard" its just making ur life harder cuz on top of learning how to draw oj a tablet, you have to learn the software, and u dont need that when u start. i got my actual drawing tablwt after like two years and i was working in krita (also free and really good). now i work in csp and its amazing but theres alot going on and it is pricey (but well  worth it imo) digital is easier in alot of ways but i still recommand learning traditionally

sorry for the shitty photo quality im bad at posting traditional art. but thats what im talking abt these are like 10-15 min each, focusing on form and the overall and not going into much detail

[lokorum]

Your art so surreal, did you take inspiration from African masks it’s amazing. You have probably gotten this question before but what’s your process and how do plan these beautiful pieces out. I am a beginner artist and would like some advice on how start doing digital painting.

thank you for bringing me back from the dead with your kindness, (i was so sad today ughhhh i think watching vampire diaries starting to affect me hjkhjk), i really, really deeply thankful that you spend your time to write something so sweet (also sorry it took me literally ages to reply phphp THE USUAL)

yeah, in buryatia shamanism like the big thing, so when i went to search what's out there in the masks department - google's mess of the results for once was helpful and showed this massive collection of beautiful african masks. the one that was inspo for tiisha lived in my head rent free for weeks before the character was even born phphph now i cant even imagine her without it 

(here is little tiisha for you before i'll proceed to be not helpfull phphphph)

oof advices are not my strong side , like..........my process mostly is just sleep through the whole thing i guess..........................i very rarely do sketches, i hate study anatomy and perspective, drawing cubes makes me physically sick etc etc my approach to drawing were "fuck around and find out", always about chill and fun and barely ever about learning. imho thats why im so shitty at drawing simple things but not bad at coloring. so yeah, my biggest advice always and forever will be - be gentle to yourself, please

digital or traditional or whatever else is out there, dont forget you make it for yourself and for yourself only okay? it supposed to be fun, not sad tiring and competitive 

advices for digital specifically tho - very objective, apply with caution

learn all the keyboard shortcuts, ideally to press them without thinking 

explore more instruments than just brush. it will be tedious and sometimes feel like a chore so mb pick one victim once a month and browse youtube for a stuff like SECRET ULTIMATE TIPS ABOUT MAGIC WAND TOOL THAT WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE (they indeed will save your life) 

check if your drawing program has artboards - turning it on will give you more freedom over canvas positioning  and your refs will always be there and not in the separate window 

idk about others but using auto tone, auto contrast and auto color often gives me well needed perspective on what im doing 

in 99% cases be sure that you can reanimate even the most messiest artpiece you ever did. working in digital gives you the chance to mess with shapes, colors and perspective at any time so if you dont want to gave up on something - you absolutely didnt have to

from time to time while you are still learning - go out there in the wilds and search for the new brushes. tweak with them if you want. i have like ~500 and i use 6 max, but those 6 i found by at some point trying to draw with all of the 500

MADE. BACK UPS. and i mean not like save layers just in case before merging them (tho that's too will help) no, i mean click SAVE AS once an hour and create A NEW FILE. PLEASE. i lost so much stuff to sudden power outage. its never pretty and you loosing will to work for days

watch at least one tutorial about the whole rgb srgb and cmyk thing - i did, understood not a thing, but at least im not playing dora the explorer with my colors after the export now 

uh idk think thats it? tried to think about those that id hope i knew when i started so hopefully something will help 

have fun with your drawings!! 

[seeminglydark]

tips for a broke punk trying to make diy patches like your “Useless Patch” patch!

So the current Useless patch I have at cons is hand screenprinted by me, but screenprinting does have an initial cost and i think not the best option for a broke punk who is looking to just make a couple of patches. There are so many ways to make patches, but heres what I did when i first started. Get some good 'ol wax paper you can get at the grocery store. and some cheapo acrylic paint, any kind will do, those little bottles you can get anywhere, and one of those spongy brushes. if you are too broke for spongy brush, (they are cheaper at the hardware store than the craft store often time btw) you can use a regular dish sponge or even a folded napkin, you just wanna be able to dab the paint.

get a piece of paper and draw your design on it, you wanna be careful with letters that have enclose spaces like O's and R's, i actually suggest if youre using this method the easiest 'font' to use is the basic punk stencil, which is actually literally just a grade school stencil. you dont need to buy a set, you can look at a reference and draw it or print it out if you have access to a printer and paper (library might help if you dont!) these are the letter type im talking about. Sorry for all these shitty google images lmao. ANYWAY.

grab a razor or an xacto knife and cut the letters out of your wax paper, wax side down, be careful obviously, helps to put a flat piece of cardboard underneath and you can tape it down to keep it in place if you want. once you have your design all cut out you can place it on your piece of fabric. with the wax side down on the piece you plan to paint, run the iron over it. itll stick! neat! now you can grab your paint and use some method (i really like the dab with a sponge brush, dish sponge or papertowel method myself) and paint in your stenciled letters. dont let it dry between coats, layer it up till its a nice solid white or whatever color youre using, let it get slightly tacky but not dry and peel your wax paper off. the design should now be painted on your fabric! hurray! let it dry and the next day, press your iron over it to heat set it and voila! diy cheapo patch. its not going to be perfect, there will be bleeding in your edges, if that bothers you, you can fix it with black (or whatever color your fabric is) paint. either way doesnt matter, punk can be messy. I've made lots of patches this way, heres a pic of the recent ones, the Punks Respect Pronoun patch is the one ive done most with this method, it has the stencil letters i was talking about so it stays in one piece without me having to piece it together. for the record i am totally fine with people making Useless Patch, and if someone does, I'd love to see it! And obligatory shop shill, i will have my own versions of both these patches in my store soon when I get some time! I'm sorry I dont have pics for the process, next time I do it, ill take some and post them <3

Thanks for the Q!

[calcium-chan]

DRAWMEGLE DUMP FROM LIKEFORVER AGO

drawmegle was this weird little website that was like omegle, except for drawing and nominally fewer nazis?? tho at launch that was a bit of an issue lol (idk the creator went on vacation right after advertising or something? oops). i got sucked into it for like a day or two and ended up drawing a bunch of stuff. ive lost some of it because there was this weird glitch that just deleted my drawings before i could save them or anything. OH WELL. thats also the reason some of these are slightly unfinished. im also going to be cropping most of these to just my side, exceptions where its funny, or the other persons art was nice or whatever. just know that these almost all had people on the other side who were also drawing their own thing. also of note, i wont be posting these in order of creation, its mostly arbitrary tbh

this first one is of haru from dorohedodo. i had just finished reading the manga about a month or so prior, and i really loved this character a lot. disregard the amogus or whatever. dorohedoro is really cool and its really special to me now. not a fan of the anime adaption but what the fuck else is new (im sorry if you like the anime, i just didnt like the style very much). Q hayashida is brilliant, and she clearly just really loves women like a lot, thank you miss Q!

next is this silly drawing of knives chau. scott pilgrim takes off had just aired, and i was slightly enamored with knives for a bit, i kin the scott pilgrim girl fucking sue me. i also drew kim, but the drawing deleted and this was the last save i had WAHOOOOOO its so fucking over. scott pilgrim takes off was obviously really really good in my opinion, and its like the perfect way to adapt an original work in my mind. uh shout outs knives or whatever.

oops shitty cowboy bebop drawing. i like this one well enough for how goofy it is. jets fucking face still kinda gets me. i love bebop a ton, but i dont think ive ever drawn the characters despite that. theyre actually a ton of fun to draw, like their shapes are all super varied and they have distinct style about them. very good cast of characters. i didnt even realize or mean to, but i kinda gave spike a fucking granny face, oops

uuuuhthese pissing dogs are really funny, they were fun to draw, and seeing peoples reactions to this one in particular was cool. having even a little bit of ability to draw on sites like this where randos are looking at your work as youre drawing it is always kind of an ego boost. like none of these drawings are really that great, but for the medium im happy with them, and having people show up and go "woah" was always really flattering and it was fun watching the other people draw and interacting with them in some limited capacity.

ggggundam bullshit. i left the other persons side this time because i thought it was kinda funny. i had been rewatching the early part of turn A gundam, and it really reminded me how fucking cool that series is? loran is like top 10 gender non conforming mech pilots (there are a surprising amount honestly). and it always kinda takes me off guard when i watch any gundam because they were just so forward thinking in a nominally "boy" coded genre. shoutouts the fucking gundam staff frfr.

@oretal joined me for these next two!

a lot of the shit in the second drawing is probably totally incomprehensible to like anyone outside of a select group. were both have that like, 3ds era nintendo brain parasite, so a lot of these are just weird obscure game characters or memes, or just straight up OCs. most of these are actually oretals little characters which have kind of entered that inside joke canon of being so ubiquitous between the two of us (and honestly i assume oretals friend group at large) that i kinda forget "glasses girl" isnt a well known character. many such cases. thank you oretal for drawing silly shit with me! i really like your drawing of james and your madotsuki yapping about blunt rotations to uboa. very cool

uuuh quick fire round of stuff i dont like how i drew but want to post anyways. the first one is my irl husband, aki from chainsaw man. i love him a lot, kinda hate this drawing tho, i think it was the first one i did? the second one is basil from omori, im a big fan of little blorbos who peep the horror, and basil is no exception. my friend got me the little vinyl figure of him for my birthday so i end up thinking about him a lot and i doodle him every now and then. very good design. the last one is kiruko from heavenly delusion. i did not have much hype going into the show after my middling feelings on summertime rendering (they were both in the news for being on disney+ for absolutely no reason). i dont remember what got me to watch it, but by the time episode 2 ended i was stuck in big time. i ended up binging the whole series in like one night and it was such a good time. the prototypical calcium show is probably somewhere between heavenly delusion and made in abyss. its a rough watch at times, but if you have this specific brainrot, its probably one of the best in its league tbh.

second to last is this drawing of vriska homestuck. i kept the other side because it was really pretty. im genuinely quite pleased witht his drawing, its not perfect but for what it is i find it visually appealing enough to like it. vriskas design is probably the best in homestuck, at least to me. its been a long time since ive read through homestuck proper, but something about these little shits sticks with you pretty much forever. actual fucking deadly brain parasites you get from dunking your head underwater in an infested pool, dead within days.

OOPS ALL KUMI CHAN! it had to be alien nine, it could only be alien nine. i love alien nine more than i love any of my blood relatives. kumi is literally me, i love this stupid fucking series so much you have no idea.

[f1nalboys]

OMG. I love the tod headcannons. Would you ever do ian sleepover headcannons?

HELLOOOO ANON sorry this has taken so long, i do apologize and i hope its fun to read!!!!

WORD COUNT: 916

WARNINGS: not proofread, weed mention, ians a perv on occassion, mostly fluff

ok number one i need a sleepover with this guy NOWWWWWW

ian refuses to call it a sleepover. you two are hanging out, chilling, that’s all. if he spends the night then thats just what happens, it totally wasn't his end goal

i truly believe ian sleeps better in anyone elses bed than he does his own not for any particular reason he just loves the feeling of being on vacation and being in a different bed counts to him fr

he comes over with nothing. like deadass the clothes on his back and maybe some weed IF UR LUCKY 

he also tends to show up ‘just for a bit’ and makes a big show about sighing at the time and being like man…. i wish i didn’t have to leave but its almost time for bed……..

like girl just ask to sleep over who cares

anyways he really hates Planned Sleepover Activities

no pillow fights, no truth or dare, no spin the bottle (this can and has been done before with him, he just has to be in the mood,) no bloody mary, etc

now, of course, if he really really really loves you, he’ll do all those things and more. he is going to COMPLAIN though. like, to the point where it’s almost unenjoyable. 

he does love a good spa day though…. you ask him to put on a fuzzy robe so you can put a face mask and cucumbers on him and he’s jumping for joy lowkey

and he lets you paint his nails and stuff and he doesnt care if its messy or bumpy or if you don’t put a top coat on it, he just loves that youre doing it for ihm

ANDDDD its the quietest he’ll be. youll look up at his face and hes staring down at you with such a sickeningly sweet love sick grin that its almost enough to make you barf and he won't say a single word until youre done

and even then he’ll just go “its great baby, thank you.” heheh

like 3 hours later he’ll go “you got a lot of nail polish on my skin, god damn.” and you’ll look over and hes very methodically picking it off of his skin lol

anyways. when hes over he just wants to chill genuinely 

ian is interested in getting chinese food or pizza, getting super fucking high, and having movies or music in the background while you guys talk

and he really only does one on one sleepovers, siblings or family excluded. if you invited another friend to sleepover at the same time hes gonna be in the corner like ugh…..sigh……eyeroll…..ugh…..what no im fine its whatever……sigh…..

ian is super handsy as is but when he gets tired hes worse

you’ll know hes ready for you two to go to sleep when hes suddenly attached to your back, arms around your waist and head in your shoulder

ian loves sleepovers that are simply for you two to get shit done

like ian has to rework an art piece? hes coming over and youre finally gonna clean your room.

he tries to sleep in his regular clothes all the time (he does it at home i fear to say) so if youre against that you HAVE to have some spare clothes for him. or let him sleep in his underwear but then he’s gonna get that dumb stupid sexy grin on his face and ask if youre trying to get him naked 

which like yes ian i am but not like that….yet

waking up with ian is great if you get up before him because hes all cuddly and sweet and murmuring in his sleep and you can just stare and admire him

if he gets up first hes waking you up but hes also fucking with you

he shakes you awake and is like BABE YOU OVERSLEPT FOR XYZ!!!!! and you jump out of bed and hes like haha got you just kidding

or he draws on your face or arms if youre a heavy sleeper and he can get away with it

AND he takes photos of you sleeping all the time on his shitty little flip phone and he never tells you about it

until like weeks later when youre hanging with him in the car eating food and he laughs and turns his phone around to show you a picture of you slumped over, mouth open, drooling.

but hes a menace

hes like well im up so i need you up to????

like god bless erin for dealing with him 

but you dont have to worry about it much, he normally sleeps in if hes able to but depending on when he went to bed, he could get up before you

and good luck trying to go back to sleep because hes hitting you with pillows and squashing you and talking until you just roll your eyes and sit up

and then hed smile and go omgggg good morning sleepyhead LIKE SHUT UP

overall, ian is a fun guy to have a sleepover with if you just want to chill, not if you want to do activities if that makes sense

but hes never going to ASK to spend the night (unless youre in the car with him about to get dropped off and hes kissing you and get handsy and THEN he’ll be like babe…. cant i just hang out :((( like sigh…. of course you can bae

[punkassfrance]

The Ponderosa Wolves - Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Wet Hot American Summer (Work length ~1.9k) This work is rated M to be safe. Expect vulgarity, not explicit content. This chapter contains: mentions of raccoon violence. Owen mentions. Full Series - Next Chapter

Abby

“Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me.”

Abby pulls the screen closer to her face as she sits up in bed, her mouth opening as she parses the news before her. The caption beneath the photo confirms what she didn’t want to know.

Baby Moore coming December 2025!

Mel is holding up ultrasound photos on Instagram, smiling wide with Owen’s arms around her. He’s looking down at her with a grin, hands resting on her stomach. They both look too happy.

Abby throws her phone down on the bed seconds before she hears it buzz, groaning and resting her head in her hands. They broke up less than four months ago and he’s already knocked up his new girlfriend? It doesn’t take long to do the math in her head—they must have started dating the week after her and Owen broke up, if not the same day. She doesn’t want to consider the possibility that it was any sooner than that, but it’s not out of the question.

Whatever. It’s not her concern. They’re not together anymore, not even on speaking terms, what does she care? He can father enough children to fill a daycare, it wouldn’t affect her in the slightest. He’s not her problem anymore, and if Mel thinks she can deal with him, more power to her.

Rubbing her face, Abby peeks between her fingers at her phone lying on the bed, screen lit up with notifications. Most are from Nora. She grabs it and opens up their messages, scrolling through. The first message is a screenshot of the post.

I’m so sorry Abs

He’s a total dick

God, poor Mel

Are either of them thinking at all? They’ve only been together three months, neither of them have a degree yet lmao

The math isn’t mathing

Need to call?

Abby smirks at Nora’s rambling. She’s right, of course—it’s a shitty move to pull. Even if he doesn’t owe Abby anything anymore, it’s just stupid. There’s no way he doesn’t know how this looks, how badly this could go, how many ways he could fail and take Mel down with him. As much as she wants to hate Mel, she can’t quite bring herself to. She knows firsthand what it’s like to convince herself Owen is the one.

There’s a few messages from Manny too, one of them a screenshot of the post.

the fuuuuuuuuuuck

this has to be a bad joke

what a dumbass

you want me to kill him for you

that motherfucker im gonna go kill him rn

Abby snorts, firing back a quick I know, right before she responds to Nora.

No, I’m fine

Gonna shut off my phone for a bit, love you

She lets it power down and sets it on her nightstand, curling up on her side when she hears a gentle knock on her door.

“Yeah?”

The knob turns and her father steps in, smiling softly as he peeks through the doorway. She’s not sure when he got home from work, but he’s already changed out of his scrubs.

“Hey, honey. How was your day?”

Abby presses her lips together as she pulls a spare blanket over her shoulders, pulling it in to her chest. She shrugs, looking down. “Could have been worse, I guess. Registered for my fall classes, got everything I wanted.”

“Alright, score!” His smile falters a bit as he steps into the room. “I, uh…just got off the phone with Marlene.”

Abby sits up at the mention of Marlene. She knows her father talks to their family friend at least once a week, but she doesn’t often hear the details of their conversations. “How is she?”

“Oh she’s alright, just fine, but…Leah’s mom had a bit of an accident.”

Abby sits up, brows drawing together. “Shit. What kind of accident?”

“A really vague one Marlene wouldn’t give me details about.”

“How bad is it?”

He shrugs softly, crossing his arms as he leans against her doorway. “Sounds like she’ll pull through, but Leah needs to go back home for a bit to help out. Marlene’s gonna be short a counselor at camp for a few weeks.” He grimaces softly, glancing up from the ground to Abby.

Abby narrows her eyes. She knows that look. “Okay…?”

“…I told Marlene I’d ask if you wanted to step in.”

She sighs, eyes wandering as she thinks. She’s got a few more months before she goes back to campus; a few weeks at Marlene’s camp wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. As nice as the break has been, she’s getting restless. It wouldn’t hurt to spend some time in the woods after the news she just got, either.

“I mean—” Abby trails off, looking back up to her father. “…details?”

“Marlene’s got four middle school girls who need a counselor coming on Sunday for the next two weeks. You’d go up tomorrow to settle in, she’ll cover your gas. You’ll get paid, of course; I know you’re not going to want to work while you’re studying. She could really use a hand, but if you just want to relax for your summer break, that’s totally alright.” He takes a step forward, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Either way, she needs to know soon.”

It only takes Abby a moment to think about it. “…yeah. Alright, I’m in.”

-

Ellie

“Damn, that sucks.” Jesse takes a sip of his soda, free hand tucked into his pocket. “What are the odds of that?”

“The odds of getting attacked by a raccoon when you’re stupid enough to try to chase them away from your trash? Pretty high.” Ellie pushes a strand of hair out of her face, glancing over at Dina standing by the register. She chews on the straw of her milkshake, lost in thought as Dina pays for her drink.

“They don’t usually attack, though, do they?”

“Smacking it with a broom probably didn’t help.”

Jesse shrugs as Dina walks back to join them, ponytail swaying as she waves goodbye to the cashier.

“Dina, did you hear about Leah’s mom?” Jesse wraps an arm around her as she slides up beside him.

“She got mauled by a bunch of raccoons.” Ellie deadpans, sipping her milkshake.

“Uh, I thought it was just one raccoon?” Dina raises an eyebrow as she taps her nails on the plastic cup in her hands, incredulity tinting her voice.

“That’s not as fun to picture, though. What are you, the fun police?”

Ellie pushes open the door and steps out onto the concrete, holding it open for Jesse and Dina to follow. She inhales the smell of the woods, heat sizzling off asphalt of the empty parking lot. Most of the convenience store’s customers just walk over from the campsite a half mile away; she’s not sure why they have a parking lot at all. Regardless, she’s glad the store is here. The kids love to walk over during their free time, and it’s nice to have a steady sugar supply when the cafeteria is on a health kick.

Summer is in full swing in the mountains. Even in jean shorts and a black t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, slathered in sunscreen, Ellie’s still struggling with the heat. If they weren’t in-between sets of campers, someone might try to fight her on the dress code, but in the moment she’d rather die than cover up any more.

“Well, who’s filling her position? Marlene’s already got the girls in Leah’s cabin planned out.”

“Dunno. Joel said she’s already put her usual backups with the high schoolers. The only one who has any middle school experience is a guy.”

Dina grimaces, pressing her lips together as the three of them start the short walk back to camp around the edge of the lake. “You don’t think she’s going to cram the girls into full cabins?”

“God, I hope not.” Ellie shudders. It’s only happened once before, but the cabins only have so many mattresses. Sleeping on the floor for two weeks had fucked up her back for the rest of last summer.

“Ugh, that would suck,” Dina says, raising the straw of her fountain drink to her lips.

“What do you care? You ditched us for the high schoolers.” Ditching might be a bit dramatic, but it’s not exactly wrong. Last year, Dina had been in the cabin right beside Ellie’s, both of them working with middle schoolers and sneaking over in the middle of the night to mess around when the girls were asleep. Their arrangement had ended unceremoniously when Dina got serious with Jesse in the last few weeks of camp, but Ellie didn’t hold a grudge. Dina’s been her best friend for too long, Ellie doesn’t want a life without her in it one way or another.

This year, Dina decided to work with the older kids in the high school cabins across the lake. Marlene didn’t hesitate to move her over, always desperate for counselors willing to wrangle teenagers. She’s still no more than a ten minute walk from Ellie’s cabin, but it’s ten more minutes than it was last year.

“I mean, it would suck for you.” Dina shrugs. “And I don’t want to listen to you complain about your back all summer again.”

“Just say you hate me. Can’t believe my favorite side chick hates me.” Ellie sighs dramatically, throwing her head back as the sun beats down on her face. Fuck, it’s hot out. She takes another sip of her chocolate milkshake.

Dina rolls her eyes, stepping away from Jesse’s side to loop her arm around Ellie’s. “Aww, Ellie. We all know you’re my side chick.”

Ellie’s right in the middle of an overdramatic eye roll when she feels her phone buzz. She pulls it out and squints to see the screen in the sunlight. It’s a message from Joel.

Do you want to come with me to get Sarah tomorrow?

Ellie grins. Sarah has been buzzing with excitement about going to camp all summer, even more when Joel promised the girl she’d be in Ellie’s cabin. For reasons Ellie will never understand, her little sister is thrilled to spend time with her. She messages him back.

ye

She almost puts her phone away before she sees a typing bubble pop up. Dina tilts her head at Ellie, lowering her cup. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just Joel.” She snorts as she sees his response.

You can’t even finish a word?

sry forgot you were born in the 1900s

She sends it off with an old man emoji and tucks her phone back in her pocket. “Just asking if I want to go pick up Sarah with him.”

Dina smiles. “She excited?”

“Oh yeah, can’t wait. I’m sure she’s pretty sick of Tommy by now.”

“Shit, I’d be pretty sick of Tommy too if I had to spend the whole summer with him.” Jesse shakes his head, looking away from the deep blue lake beside them. “Can I have my girlfriend back?”

“No,” Ellie and Dina say in unison, pulling closer to each other.

He shrugs, taking another drink of his soda. “Fine. You can borrow my girl since you can’t get one of your own.”

Ellie reaches over to shove him, Jesse breaking into a laugh as he stumbles to the side of the path. “Whatever! Remind me how long it took you to ask Dina out?”

“Three months,” Dina chirps, smirking as Jesse rights himself.

“Didn’t someone have to dare you?”

Jesse rolls his eyes, looking to the sky with a straight, exasperated face. “Why do I hang out with you two?”

“My ass?” Dina suggests.

“I’m a lovable scamp?” Ellie shrugs, raising an eyebrow. “Really hope it’s not my ass.”

“No, that’s why I hang out with you.” Dina nudges her.

“Damn straight.”

Hi everyone! This idea popped into my head and I can't seem to get rid of it, so here we go! This is going to be a lot more lighthearted than my other fic. Unrestrained summer fun. Yes, Ponderosa Lake is a real place in Washington, but for the purposes of this story it's a fictional lake in the mountains of California. (Yes, the Sierra Nevadas. I grew up in the area and I love it dearly.) I don't THINK there will be any major triggers, but please let me know if you spot something that deserves a warning!

I'm so excited for the series! Comments are always appreciated! Feel free to say hi or drop your thoughts in my askbox, check out my AO3 or my about me if you're interested!

Series taglist: @ellabslawyer @rareanduselessbird @hotwheels4hotgirls @polarhues

[mohgreal]

I looked into a few spoilers and watched a fight with Radahn/Miquella and I gotta say that Mohg didn't deserved to be used as a husk for any of this

Like all of this doesn't make sense to me lore wise, story wise and the final fight itself looks like a reused asset...

I may be wrong of course, because there is not enough information about Miquella's plan fully, but for now I'm just extremely confused

Gonna go cope now by drawing Mohg's and Malenia's fanarts where everything is well and fine😔

Anyway sorry about the rambling, just wanted to talk about the dlc thing with someone and since we are mutuals I thought you wouldn't mind

U can ignore and delete this ask if you want, sorry for bothering, hope you have a good day!!

First of all, never apologise for yapping to me thats the entire point of my account sdiwbfjx

And yeah, the so called so called "plot twist" being a popular theory sucks. Like what did Mohg do ?? Have a cool outfit?? Honestly I would rather suffer through the "mohglester" and slander then this. It does make him more sympathetic, but also kinda boring.

The fight really does feel like it was made a day before, someone on reddit thats a game dev made a whole long ass reply of how theyre certain thats what happened.

Anyway I dont really have the *full* scoop of lore info since I havent played the DLC yet because my laptop broke, I do still think it's a shitty way to end both Miquella's arc, Mohg's arc, Radahn's arc that was supposed to be finished, and as well as a shitty way to end the dlc. I know fromsoftware simps will just tell me to cope but like, its so bad. Im not sorry because it makes zero sense, looks bad, and the fight feels reused and boring.

I do think we should all collectively cope, (mostly me and the pre dlc miquella enjoyers) which i plan to do by writing whatever. I want to play something else to get my mind off all the sote issues but im too hyperfixated and once again I don't have the laptop to play anything on whoops

conclusion always ramble to mohgreal

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

The Sleepy Kitten Cafe 🐱💤 

(The Drakes Spoiled Brat. (im sorry dad))

Ill solidify an actual layout design later (since this will become a major setting for most of the fic) BUT for now you get a shitty collage design Edit- Fuck it I was gonna wait till post chapter 7 but I decided to publish now so here you go!

Info (may or may not become relevent in the fic, I just think is neat also for my own reference)

Located on The Narrows of Gotham city

All utensils and containers are thrifted so none of them match

Upstairs lounge is a mini library/book store

They sell baked goods and have a shitty service window where you can order diner style food/snacks

Regular game nights/other events (including jazz night which Tim vehelementaly refuses to attend)

Not uncommon for random strays to come hang out (no one tell their manager)

Have a photo wall of regular customers (it took several weeks of begging before Tim allowed Gwen to snap his pic and pin it up)

They have a whole buisness card holder on the counter people can advertise their shit

Owned by a former hippie from Washington and her husband from Sikkim

Almost gets robbed once a week but hey its Gotham, what can you do? (emphasis on almost)

Employees (named thus far, who I will also probably draw later)-

Gwen Parkins she/her- Main Barista Alans (Tims) BFF, utter sweetheart, but will cry if yelled at. Also plans like 80% of the work events. Wears clips in her hair that are "on theme" for whatever event is for the day (cat ones for work obvi) Never checks her bank account so doesnt notice Tim slipping in an extra 500-3k every month (tax free of course) and she ends up saving or donating half of it anyways. From the Narrows.

Zeek (Ezikel) Zoref he/they- Cook/Security Very open stoner, likes bullying his friends (kinda an asshole, but will apologize if too far), also loves Gotham for the fact he can and will fist fight customers given the oppertunity, and there are PLENTY of oppertunies. Carries around a bat. Almost became a Joker Goon out of nessesity but by sheer happenstance he tried robbing Alan who somehow got him an interview at the Cafe, even with zero experience. (Owes his life, but will never admit it) Allergic to mint and mourns mint gum everyday. From Crime Alley.

Obsidian Fowler they/them- Manager/Barista The reason shit gets done, newly recognized artist, meticiously does inventory because they find it fun. Gets stressed about hygine when his coworkers keep sneaking random strays in the cafe, but weak to begging. Did not give in when they brought in a Raccoon. Keeps offering Alan a job because "Please I cannot be the only competent member here" From Old Gotham.