#Im having exactly one feeling and it's [REDACTED]

[fappellmoan]

something that makes me feel guilty is the fact that seeing that persons face rn literally makes me angry. they walked into class and i nearly winced. and in all fairness they were quite kind to me. outside of the several kind of odd red flags. girl whatever. to be quite frank i am a horny bastard and vocal proud etc but few people interest me enough to actually want to hang out with and get to know And i have deep seated intimacy issues so it's like. we really dont have a shot unless the circumstances r exactly right on a full moon perfect thursday of a month etc like. well and tbh i probably would have fucked around with this person but i dont... care... about some big relationship w them.. and i know i could be a relationship girl like eventually i have it in me to have a muse that's what im built for i think idc but not rn... rn i need to hang out with my friends and do my film stuff and have people that maybe wanna make out sometimes is that so much to ask for. for a lesbian at a bar to want to make out perhaps. ** for there to be lesbians at the bars to potentially make out with.

[14dayswithyou]

Ren owes me 24 dollars. Nahh really gimme 24 dollars. Im hungry. T_T

I really Really REALLY hope no one asked that. Becuase if someone did, then I'll be so emberassed. Im sorry! Well, anyway. The question is : If Angel had amnesia, what would be the first thing each character would say to them to summarize their relationship, history, etc.

And who would lie? A little/a lot And I just wanted to thank you! You did such an amazing job creating this game! IM LITTERALLY INLOVE WITH VIOLET AND [REDACTED] THEY'RE SUCH A CUTIES! I hope you have a wonderful day! (>u<)

(Also sorry for possible mistakes. My english is TERRIBLE.)

⌞♥⌝ Aside from Ren, I think all of the cast would tell Angel the truth. Olivia might not say anything simply because she's not exactly friends with Angel in the first place, and Teo might initially lie just to see what would happen — but for the most part, everyone else would have genuine concern and be very supportive during Angel's recovery.

Ren would subtly try to overplay Angel's relationship with him, and would probably use it to his advantage as well. Things like, "Oh, you let me visit your apartment aaaall the time! Y-You... You even gave me your spare key!", "You've always considered me as your closest friend, but... Well, you never want to hurt Leon's feelings", and "Hey, we always visit my place on Fridays to watch your favourite movies! Y-You love spending time with me!".

He wouldn't outright lie and convince Angel that he's their partner (or someone they have romantic feelings for), but he'll try to insinuate that maybe they have a deeper connection than what was originally going on.

[elfarons]

Flipping the Tables

[redacted] knows you like the back of their hand, which also means he knows just what to say to reduce you to a blushing mess. but he makes you flustered way too often! so naturally you make it your mission to get them back...

cw: gender neutral reader, fluff, reader sits on [redacted]'s lap, both of you are called 'pretty'

it's a lazy sunday evening with your wonderful boyfriend. you're rewatching your favorite movies while u both cuddle on the couch. him leaning back on the cushions with one arm around you, practically melting into his side.

when you feel [redacted] slightly shift to get more comfy, you look up at him while he's absorbed in whatever is happening on screen. he's so beautiful you think to yourself. his silky hair, his soft pink lips, his straight nose, his powdery blue eyes, his everything... so pretty so perfect.

he chuckles and looks down at you, slightest hue of red covering his cheeks. "hmm? you think im pretty?" oops, said it outloud. he finds your hand closest to his, bringing it up to his lips to kiss your knuckles so softly while looking into your eyes. "i don't really see how i'm pretty,,,i'd have to argue you're the prettiest one here, angel."

you blush and bury your head into his chest to hide from his teasing. but you do take notice that he doesnt exactly take the compliment... and how he was so adorable when he blushed. you realize you rarely get to see them blush compared to how much you do.

what if we flipped the tables?

recovering with a newfound determination, you lock your gaze onto his, "well, i think you're so cute that it hurts." they smile, accepting your challenge "i think you're so cute i want to eat you."

"your beauty could start wars."

"i could try for an eternity but i'd never find someone as angelic as you."

you're about to give in, getting more embarassed, but you stay determined! you grab his face with your hands and move around to straddle their lap. "i think you're so perfect that i want to kiss you right now!"

leaving no time for him to respond (and possibly fluster you further), you start kissing his face between words, purposefully avoiding his lips. "YOU muah ARE muah SO muah GORGEOUS muah TO ME muah" forehead, cheek, nose, other cheek, chin. staying an inch from his lips, you quietly say "do you believe you're the most beautiful, perfect boyfriend yet?"

dumbfounded from your sudden praise and kisses, they just stare up at you completely flushed from the neck up, their hands resting on your sides. it worked. he chases your lips to get a kiss, but you pull away and he pouts. chuckling, you move one hand down from his warm face to feel his heartbeat wildly thumping against your hand.

you leaned down to whisper in their ear. "c'mon answer me, or you're never gonna get that kiss." he hides his flushed face in the crevice between your shoulder and neck then takes a deep breath to compose himself. "..i-i'm your beautiful and perfect boyfriend."

"see? it wasn't that hard was it?" you finally lean down and he sighs into the kiss. his lips are always just as soft as they look. after you pull away, they gaze adoringly into your eyes. you giggle, "you're so cute when you blush."

[redacted] will hatch a plan to get back at you later when his brain isn't overheating, but he decides to let you relish in your victory for a while longer. besides, he likes seeing you confident enough to be bold with him. he can't deny he's in love with every side of you, much like how you feel about him.

they gently nudge you to lay down on the couch with his head on your chest. "love you so much, angel." your heartbeats speed up, matching in rhythm.

you decide to grant him his own small victory too by not bringing up how the flush returns to his face. that was enough teasing. "i love you too."

author's note: hiee :3 this is my first tumblr fic ever ! i got inspired from the 14DWY discord server when we were discussing different ways of making redacted speechless, so this is for them teehee <3 i hope i didn't make them too ooc !!

dividers by @/enchanthings

[vind3miat0r]

VEGA EA SPOILERS.

(again, copied-and-pasted from texts i sent my boyfriend)

SO. NEWEST AUDIO.

Vega basically confesses his feelings for Warden in a beat-around-the-bush way, they investigate CloseKnit, they run into Hush, and Hush fucking kills Vega. pretty cool, right?

but! knowing Mr. Redacted, Vega isn’t gonna stay dead for long. he’s probably gonna meet up with Blake in Death or some shit

BUT!! 2 Vega and Warden ran into Hush. what the fuck does that mean???

it means a lot of things.

firstly, this disproves my theory that Doc and Hush met in July 2023. Carpe Deus is behind in the storyline, same as The Balance and Sovereign State. its also revealed in this audio that the Department stormed this CloseKnit building.

we ALSO know that, in the latest Aaron + Elliott + Smartass Balance audio, the Department said that they were going to send a team to the CloseKnit building where Sunshine and Scorpius are/were being held, so it seems that the CK building in the newest audio was the one that Sunshine was being held in (thats what the current evidence is saying, at least).

SO.

what can we gather from this?

well, since Carpe Deus is set back like the other aforementioned series, we can technically rule out Hush and Doc meeting in July 2023. since Carpe Deus is still in January 2022, then that means that Hush was created in 2022 (we can also use evidence from Avior’s latest videos, with him hearing what seems to be Hush’s magic and even sounding like Hush at one point. this, of course, takes place during January 2022).

drop the technically, actually!!

Hush tells Vega and Warden that his name is Hush, which means that he’s already met Doc at this point.

how do we know this? because he specifically tells Doc that, before they asked for his name, he didn’t have one.

where does all of this fit in? im glad you asked!

i devised a little timeline here that connects all of the different series (ik there’s already a timeline, but Sovereign State isn’t on it, and it hasn’t been updated in almost a year 💀)

events with (?) before them means that im not exactly sure if said event actually did take place on said date. i used the official timeline as a reference, but its a little fuzzy with dates.

October, 2021

Vega persuades Warden to go with him and aid him in his endeavor to free the Sovereigns and once again use them as an energy source.

December 31st, 2021

Starlight and Avior get trapped in the Meridian. Angst ensues.

Sunshine and Elliott get kidnapped by Blake. Sunshine makes a deal with Blake: if he lets Elliott go, then they’ll help Blake get in contact with Brachium, who is bonded to Death and can provide two-way communication with the Sovereigns.

Inversion starts.

Starlight and Avior get out of the Meridian, only to immediately get thrown into the chaos that is the Inversion.

Avior tells the Chorus (Demon Government) what happened with him and Starlight in the Meridian. There are mixed feelings about the situation.

(?) Starlight and Avior go to the coffee shop they dreamt about visiting together when they were stuck in the trap. Avior starts getting a ringing in his ears.

(?) Starlight takes Avior to their apartment, where the ringing gets worse. Starlight advises Avior that he should go to Circinus about this alarming development. Avior agrees, but asks to be held for a while by Starlight. When thanking them, he sounds suspiciously like Hush.

January 1st, 2022

Blake has Elliott removed from the basement, sending him to the demon Scorpius so that the Dreamwalker’s memories may be modified.

The Department releases their official statement on the Inversion.

Elliott is released, his memories of CloseKnit temporarily blocked. Sunshine and Blake once again go into the dreamscape in order to contact Brachium; the Deathwalker doesn’t show up. Blake wakes both him and Sunshine up and leaves the building.

Elliott’s memories slowly trickle back to him, confusing him. Pairing this with the statement the Department has released about the Inversion, it causes him to spiral, prompting him to call his adopted brother Aaron for help.

(?) Elliott tells Aaron everything that happened regarding CloseKnit, and them + Smartass tell the Department what happened. The Department promises that they will look into the matter, even saying that they will raid the building where Sunshine and Scorpius are being held.

(?) Blake shows up at Bestie’s house, trauma dumps on them, then gets into a relationship with them.

January 2nd, 2022 (supposedly)

Blake shows back up at the CloseKnit building, once again bringing Sunshine into the dreamscape. This time, Brachium shows up, and Blake asks him to relay a message to the Sovereigns regarding Bestie.

(?) Brachium relays the message, and delivers the Sovereigns’ answer. Blake completely does a 180, and instead of following Brachium’s advice, he seeks to make a deal with the Sovereigns.

(?) Blake wakes him and Sunshine up again, and he sends them to Scorpius to have their memories modified before releasing them. Blake then goes and kills himself, in order to enter Death and properly make a deal with the Sovereigns without having to go through Brachium.

(?) Sunshine is released.

January ???, 2022

Creation of Hush.

Hush’s brother tries to kill him.

Hush gives himself up to the Chorus, before escaping and killing all the Articulates who were sent to stop him.

Hush meets Doc.

The Department raids the CloseKnit building where Scorpius is/was being held.

Vega and Warden go to the CloseKnit building the Department had raided, but only find Hush there. Hush kills Vega and spares Warden.

i am. not well. as you can imagine.

most likely, the next Balance/Sovereign State video that gets released will be the creation of Hush, and if its not, im going to commit arson.

AUGH ERIK WHEN I FUCKING CATCH YOU—

[hrts4hanniehae]

clutch || three

there are written parts :)

note that the timeline or educations may not add up but just ignore it because i don't have the brain power to sync up THIRTEEN + 1 's education schedules

also!!!! the story begins in the christmas period of 2022!!!! IF THERE ARE YEAR ERRORS IM SO SORRY!!!! i legit can't change it omfg

okay if we were being very honest, e/n was an attractive guy. well-liked by everyone, especially yn's parents -- mother. he had a good office job, loved the idea of starting a family and was rather... old-fashioned in his thoughts.

e/n had asked her out 2 years prior. she agreed because she was desperate to please her mother. but it wasn't as if she didn't like him. she did. just... not as much as she would have preferred. he was all those good things, but he didn't let her be free. he always talked her down when she brought up her art or passions. but he made her parents happy. so she suppressed it.

when he cheated on her, she didn't feel any sadness. not much resentment either. but when he stole her apartment from her, she lost her shit.

"what do you mean i can't take my apartment back? MY NAME IS ON THE LEASE!!"

"i did not sign that! that's a forged signature! how many times do i have to tell you, i have no recollection of EVER signing my apartment off to him! god why won't you even investigate the signature!"

not only did she have to deal with this bastard's theft, but now she had to deal with him at work too.

"do you know where's the bathroom?" (random museum goer)

she kindly pointed her in the direction of the nearest bathroom.

"oh yn! I didn't know you worked here." - e/n

"hi e/n. what do you need. and where's your side chick." - yn

"she went to the bathroom. i wanted to see you." - e/n

"when the fuck are you going to leave me alone? you already stole my house. what else do you want?" - yn

"yn, you're being ridiculous. just come back to me. i'll ditch her for you. i just wanted to try someone new. you're not exactly a... fun partner you know? fun in that way." - e/n

"leave me alone. i already have a new apartment. just please. i don't fucking like you anymore. just leave me alone. stop harassing me, okay? your idiotic excuses and reasonings don't make ANY sense at all. just go." - yn

"so why haven't you told your mom about our breakup? hm? do you really not like me anymore?" - e/n

"i've told you time and time again. i don't talk to my mother. at all. if you care so much, just tell her yourself. why we broke up. hm? or do you want me to get byeongho to tell her. because I will. i'm not telling her because i'm trying to help you save face. if i tell her, your father will know. and he will not be happy. i'm trying to do one nice thing for you despite you fucking another girl in OUR BED." - yn

and just like a saviour, minghao was running up to her.

"yn, your boss told me to look for you about managing my exhibit. oh. hi e/n. get lost, thanks." - minghao

"mind your own business, [redacted slur]" - e/n

security kicks him out.

"thanks, hao. my day has been ruined because of him." - yn

"i'll buy you lunch? i don't think you've had lunch yet." - minghao

"thanks but i'm good. i don't usually have lunch anyways. i'm going to head home. my shift is over." - yn

"did wonwoo tell you our friend was staying over at your place today?" - minghao

"huh. who? he didn't tell me." - yn

i guess he forgot - minghao

"lee chan, or dino. the soloist. so don't be too shocked if you see him walking around." - minghao

"right. i'll see you tomorrow for lunch, minghao. go hang out with jun." - yn

"he's filming a movie right now. how am i supposed to go see him?" - minghao

"figure it out!" - yn

she forgot about dino and walked into the bathroom not knowing he would be there. luckily, he was half-clothed.

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

synopsis: wonwoo is a popular streamer known for his incredible gaming skills and good looks. He turned heads. but he hates the attention. he just wants to play games and earn money. one day he receives a letter. his apartment’s rent has almost doubled. no warnings at all. his current paycheck from streaming can’t shoulder those bills. he has no choice but to rent out his spare room. to who? a fresh art university graduate who has… 1. a stable job ✅ 2. talent for art and sculpting ✅ 3. many friends ❌ 4. social anxiety ✅ 5. no filter ✅ when his iconic cat logo gets copystriked, she comes to the rescue with a new logo for him. when his apartment’s walls start peeling, she fixes it. whatever he used to struggle with… the empty space... was now filled by her. so what does he *last player standing* do when her ex *enemy spotted* tries to take her back? heh. *clutch* he clutches.

inspired by wonwoo's gam3bo1 streams, falling into your smile & gogo squid (has hints of valorant)

pairing: streamer!jeon wonwoo x fem!artist!reader (ft. jeongcheol, soonhoon, junhao, seoksoo, verkwan)

genre: fluff, comfort, slowburn, comfort, pining, bestfriend!minghao

warnings: stalker ex, toxic ex, mentions of abuse, guns (game), cursing, hate comments, panic attacks

started: 28.12.23

ended: ?

taglist: join from my masterlist

main masterlist

smau socials

previous I next

tags! @fairyofhour @megseungmin @sun-daddy-yoriichi @woozixo @euphoric-univers @christinewithluv @haowonbins @ocyeanicc @asyre @cynthiaaax13 @superhoshisvt @bangantokchy @chimmy-bts @angelarin @daisawa @writingbarnes @jeonghansshitester

@belladaises @wonwootakemyheart @wonwooz1 @luchiet @kookssecret @caratsland @peachescreamandcrumble @thepoopdokyeomtouched @isabellah29 @leah-rose03 @yandere-stories @coupshour @heesbees

[itsbansheebitch]

OH MY GOD

yall... i just stood up to my dad.

I wont get into all the shit he has going on & what hes done, but hes what the public call "a crazy mfer" or perhaps "a jackass."

I just tested positive for Covid. My sister has Covid for the second time. She got it from going to a cousin's wedding.

That side of my family is known for BELIEVING in Covid, but calling the China virus (the crazy mfer side of the family, really :/)

Dad then invited himself and his sister (my aunt) to my GRANDMA'S (mom's mom) FUNERAL X_X

Theyre also homophobic (obvi) and my queer ass is like 0_0

Not to mention bro is misogynistic as hell. Bro literally believes that women can not be as strong as men. Disregards all papers that prove otherwise. This man is a SCIENCE PROFESSOR.

I decided to unblock him and rip him apart. I will repeat the text so that we can all clown on him together (written exactly as the text with names & locations redacted):

------------------------

[Sister] brought covid home from the wedding. i tested positive. we are both immunocompromised. the asthma was diagnosed last year or so. thanks for insulting my weight and putting both me and [sister's] lives at risk (sarcasm:D). me and [sister] will not be coming to any more family functions until you care about our health. you know, the bare minimum for a parent?

you will also not come to [town next to us where i went to high school], [city near us where we do shopping & such], or [city where our college campus is] until you get your shit together. if you do, we will have problems :). if i hear you EVER disrespecting my future step sisters, you are going to see what its like for me to take a big sister role :). im tired of yalls excuses. NO ONE deserves the treatment you have given me. i wish you well. as long as you stay far away from me.

------------------------

This is the most push back he's ever received in his life for his behavior. I'm sick and can't think straight. I'm going to make the best of it lmaoooooo

If yall think this is soft on him, consider that if he decides to not respect my boundaries, i will be getting a restraining order, a gun, and if he shows up irl (espec without warning) i will take more extreme measures.

I don't live in the same state as him anymore.

You learn you deserve/deserved better when you look at kids around you and realize that if the same thing happen to them, you'd beat the living shit out of the parents.

NO ONE deserves abuse. NO ONE deserves neglect.

I wish everyone healing in this trying time.

And my covid is already getting better. I think I just got past Day 3. College starts soon and after I recover I'm going to wear a mask just in case X_X

For anyone who has faced abuse or neglect I would recommend (for feeling seen):

OPAL (Animation on YouTube by Jack Stauber)

Not Like Us by Kendrick Lamar

[pandoraroid]

The Pack Wedding 💥💥💥💗💥

reaction rambles bc yes

please keep in mind this is meant to be lighthearted i love these men with all my heart n life n soul

THIS IS 43 MINUTES IM SO SCARED WHY CANT I PRESS THE VIDEO this is too much nervousness for seven in the morning im dead

DAVEEEYYYYY HIIIIIII GMORNING MWAAAA

"it's the pack everything's gonna go crazy." bro it's the SHAW pack what does that say about you hm 🤔 /j i love you david 

"reception's gonna be a solstice party on steriods" I SNORTED SO DAMN LOUD 😭

now should be a good time to say that part of the reason why i like redacted so much is because it's so funny and lines like that do it for me every single time.

"i love you angel so very much" BOOGSH 💥 im so in love with you david shaw 

i think bro's in love with us guys idk 

"beautiful... you.." NO YOU 🫵 david we are not doing this back in forth in the morning JUST ACCEPT IT

he's triggering my cuteness/love aggression SO FUCKING SAPPY I LUV U MWAH

"you fucking menace c'mere" HIS LAUGH OMFG GOOD FUCKINH MORNINGGGG

IS ASHER NEXT PLEASE TELL ME HE'S NEXT 

MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN

"oh fuck it's the day" me just this morning

"asher breathe we're good you've been training for this your whole life" ELABORATE???? id love to know how exactly youve been training for this asher

"it's our wedding day. holy shit it's our wedding day. i'm gonna be a husband." KILLL MEEE RIGHT NOW I CAN HEAR HIM SMILEEE OMFG WEAR THAT SHIT WITH PRIDE ASHER

"i've always been husband material look at what we're working with" KILL ME RIGHT NOW /pos baabe smacking him though HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

id kiss you for the rest of my life asher

laughing against/while kissing THIS MAN WANTS ME DEAD

"say how much time do we have before we meet everybody in the lobby" LET THEM FUCKING WAIT

MILO AND SAM???? OH MY GOD???? (should go without fucking saying but... drive safe..... please...)

in my head: sam is driving. david's shotgun. ash & milo are in the back. just because. >> BRO I WAS RIGHT????

darlin driving in another car with the other mates??? that... isnt what i think it is.... is it......

david sounds so tired of their bs HAHAHA "rounded out with a little traditional opinion from them of all people" DARLIN FIGHT BACK

"hey we're fun too, right?" ASHER PLEASE

"well let's see: we've got a grouchy grandpa drivin us-" 

"hey." 

"at least he didn't call you cowboy." BRO

"now don't you start." 

"and we got the grumpy alpha."

"i'm not grumpy. just preoccupied."

"right. right." bros didnt even try to sound convinced

"we're fun." 

"asher. we spent your bachelor party playing destiny 2." 

"and smash!" 

"oh my mistake."

this entire conversation. peak.

"i dont even wanna imagine what chaos those four are getting up to piled in one vehicle." OH WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO SAM 

DEAD ASS SILENCE I LOVE IT i cant fycking breathe this is too funny.

in my head, they were definitely arguing over directions. or darlin's driving, or making fun of the other car.

wait darlin what

"or you'll likely end up staring down the maw of my own beautiful mate-" SAMUEL COLLINS

"oh move it mr. wedding day" WHY DOES THAT SOUND SO GOOD

"and fix your hair."

"it's suppose to look like this!"

"are you trying to look like you got married in a wind tunnel?" BRO NOT ON HIS WEDDING DAY 💀

sam encouraging milo omgomg

"you talk more than anyone i know. and i know asher." AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

"is my tie on straight?" 

"is it ever?" is the one wearing it straight /jjjj

david helping him with his tie someone kill me right now

GABE'S CHILI RECIPE WHAT

"why did you pick me?" OH SHIT

i seriously just listened and payed attention to their conversation so no thoughts head empty only them

"what really mattered in a beta was having a person that was the other side of your coin."

"i picked you because you were the one person i trusted more than anyone else. you made me feel safe at a time more than i couldve explained. you were everything i wasnt. where i was distant you were outgoing. where i was rough you were warm. where i was analytical you were intuitive. you're the other side of my coin. you always have been. so it never mattered to me what anyone else thought of what i needed in a beta because they didnt know me. i did. you did. and i needed the person that was right for me not for anybody else."

i couldve typed out everything david said but THIS!!!! I WAS SOBBING!!!! THEY ARE THE OTHER SIDE OF OTHER'S COIN NEVER FORGET THAT!!!!!!!! their vows to each other fr

this is wrecking me THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH

"you're too hard on yourself too."

"well we had to have something in common other than destiny and smash bros, right?" the range of friendship everyone 

THEYRE HOLDING BACK TEARS IN THIS ONE TRUST ME 

my heart felt so heavy in this WHY

"i think you're the best fucking beta i could have ever asked for. i think you're the besy friend i could have ever asked for. i deserved most of the time."

aaaanndd got heavier 😁

GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG

"i just feel bad that i'm going to be up there looking this good y'know people are going to get confused on whose wedding day it really is." EAT EM UP SWEETHEART (i meant milo but them too ofc)

"do we get a step stool for behind the podium?" HAHSHAHAHAHHA THE CONCERN IN HIS VOICE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

"i love you milo"

"i love you too asshole" CRYING 

"thank you for doing this milo"

"i got you. always." ALWAYS.

CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY 

"when i was asked by my friends to officiate their unions, i only had one question for them: how much does it pay?" ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

im really listening on this part so head empty.

oohh asher (i think it's asher) laughing through baabe's vows IS SO SWEET I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL

OH DAVID GETTING CHOKED UP ON ANGEL'S VOWS KILL ME

"you're the best part of me. and i'll spend the rest of our lives showing that i'm worthy of that." oh david shaw you dont even have to try

"i now pronounce you all married the-the pairs of you to each other not all together" OH THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO LET HIM LIVE THAT DOWN

THE KISSES OMMMGGGKFHEKHEJSS 

CONGRATULATIONS ANGEL & DAVID

CONGRATUALTIONS BABE & ASHER MWAAAAAAAAHH TO ALL OF YOUUU

[rbtlvr]

nvm im Not done but this is less me being Salty And Vague and more just. my thoughts on spoilers in general so its fine thumbsup

comes back after writing the whole thing. oops this got Really Long. woe read more be upon ye

anyway. i saw someone in the tags of that post saying its abt choice, that you have the option to CHOOSE whether or not to be spoiled on something, and like! yeah! exactly! like personally there is not much that Genuinely Triggers me but if i mentioned to a friend that i was thinking about getting into a particular piece of media, and they knew that piece of media had smth in it that would really really upset me, i would want to know

but otherwise i want to experience it for myself and it feels really... rude? i guess? when people spoil stuff for others just because they can. like. not talking abt reblogging stuff for media ages after it came out untagged, or reblogging stuff just after a thing came out and tagging it as spoilers and then someone sees it because they didnt blacklist anything. im talking about walking up to someone and going 'oh. youre interested in this piece of media? well did you know that [massive spoiler]?' its just rude!

and like. i can still enjoy media if i know what happens. its not a case of 'ohhh well i guess you never reread books or replay games or whatever' liek? yeah? i do??? theres SO many things ive gone through again but i still prefer to go into it the first time blind!

like ghost trick is a REALLY good example, if i had gone in knowing [redacted spoiler] i still would have enjoyed the game. but it would have SO MUCH taken away from that First Time Experience where i got to figure it out for myself. where i got to go into the discord and say oh my god this sounds absolutely batshit but heres my theory and im gonna lose it if im right

and then getting to go in a few hours later and go HOLY SHIT I WAS RIGHT? HOLY SHTI? HOLY SHIT?

like. i said i wasnt gonna be vague but literally just one (1) thing i prommy. it feels so... idk. condescending maybe. for op of that post to act like people who dont want spoilers are dumber, or dont enjoy media in the 'right way', or dont analyze media ever, or dont enjoy going through media a second time, or only like stupid bad media for idiots, or or or etc

thats such a huge generalization and sure maybe some of it is true for some people! theres definitely people out there who only like watching a movie once and lose interest once they know what happens! but does that? make them dumb??? or lesser??? like???

and if anything. not being spoiled ENHANCES a second go through for me. like ghost trick example again. i havent played it a second time myself (i want to eventually, but im at college and for spoiler related reasons i can only play it when im at home for my own emotional health), but i have gone and watched other people play it because i love seeing other people get that first time experience too. and the amount of foreshadowing for that one spoiler is WILD. ITS EVERYWHERE. AND IT RULED TO GO BACK THROUGH IT A SECOND TIME AND SEE ALL OF THAT AND GO HOLY SHIT IT WAS RIGHT THERE THE WHOLE TIME

and for the isat spoiler i got spoiled going in for, i still got to do that, just the first time i played. i still got that 'holy shit its so obvious all the pieces are there' experience, but without the joy of getting to figure it out for myself.

i like figuring out shit for myself! i LOVE a good mystery, i love putting together puzzle pieces and seeing the picture come together, i love being proven right and hell i even love being proven wrong (though. not quite as much LMAO). and im good at it, i think! i genuinely do like that about myself, and i like getting to use that skill! a lot!

so like. i dont... understand people acting like someone not wanting to be spoiled is just not engaging with media fully. i think i am? like i said in my tags of the last post i make a sweeping gesture to the 7934058903 posts on my blog where i overanalyze LITERALLY every single line and moment loop has, ever, lmaofjdsklfjldks

taz balance is another REALLY big one i point to as a 'the first and the second go through are SO VERY different and its SO great to get to have both' like. again, the foreshadowing is woven in SO well, in many cases completely unintentionally (there are so many times when the players accidentally foreshadowed something and i KNOWWWWW griffin was sitting there trying so very very hard not to say anything or laugh. or times in the first few arcs when griffin foreshadowed something that hadnt even been planned out yet!)

and ive listened to the whole thing like. three times, i think? at least three times. and its LONG. AND I HAVE ADHD. SO THAT SHOULD SAY SOMETHING ALKFJDLKSJFLKD

like. idk. getting spoiled on a big twist wont ruin the experience if the piece of media is good, thats true. getting spoiled on that one thing in isat very much didnt ruin it for me! i loved the game so much even going in with that spoiler! but theres a difference between ruining the experience and lessening it. and it doesnt make anyone lesser or wrong or dumb to not want that. shrugs

[fearowkenya]

camp digimonth 2025!!!

oh my god has it for real been one entire calendar year since i joined @campdigimonth?? INSANE

i couldnt even really think of a goal to set because other interests and life in general happened to football-tackle me in the last week of january last year. i can barely remember what i set out to do. in fact im reading my goals from last year right now and rediscovering that i'd split them into projects, sub-projects, and sub-sub projects. which is kind of ridiculous… but exactly the kind of ridiculous that works for me specifically! i think i'll actually just copy-paste my explanation because it still holds:

"the projects are MANY , and it’s impossible to say which ones i will have the impulse to work on and which ones i wont. i dont want to commit to a specific project and then decide ‘actually i dont feel like working on this one’ so i thought it would make sense to just list a bunch of things i want to do and knock out the ones that i have the most motivation for." -me, circa 365 days ago

so true, me from 1 year ago!!! i'm going to keep the same goals as well:

GOAL: complete 5 sub-sub-projects SECONDARY GOAL: complete 10 sub-sub-projects TERTIARY GOAL: complete 1 entire sub-project OR 15 sub-sub-projects

details on specific projects under the cut because i don't know what brevity means nor am i interested in learning it. WARNING FOR DIGIMON SURVIVE SPOILERS AHEAD. i will mark spoiler start points in RED and end points in GREEN so that you may scroll past them if you so desire

PROJECT 1: Finish Winds of Change winds of change my beloved. i am so sorry that the editing schedule for your final chapter coincided with the realization that final fantasy 7 rebirth was set to release the next month. i regret absolutely nothing - honestly i was starting to burn out a little by the end and i think the break from survive, so it was a net positive. either way id like to finish this fic , perhaps even this month! who can say. i do feel a little apprehensive in that it's been a minute since i wrote for survive and i worry id be a little rusty with the character writing. but these kinds of worries are always not as bad as they seem so fuck it we ball

SUB-PROJECT: Winds of Change Chapter 9

rewrite the parts i want to rewrite

go thru edit checklist

post

--

SUB-PROJECT: [REDACTED]

[REDACTED]

[REDACTED]

post (dont worry 😇 )

*********************************************

PROJECT 2: Redesign Survive Partners context from last year: "I am very charmed by the idea that a digimon’s design is affected by the events and relationships in their lives. For example, a digimon may change a little in appearance in a way that reflects something about their human partner."

so i've been kinda working on this on-and-off for the past year, mostly doodles that i didn't plan on doing anything with because they weren't polished enough. i actually really like the redesigns i did although i never posted them, so im thinking i just redraw them and colour them with markers this time. or digital. idk we'll see. i'm gonna pick three of the survive digimon and not all of them because if i did that we would be here all day

SUB-PROJECT: Lopmon Redesign

Redraw the one I did already onto marker paper via light table

Colour and ink

Scan at work (my scanner at home HATES certain colours)

Touch-ups

Write mile-long post about design choices

Post

--

SUB-PROJECT: Labramon Redesign

Find a cool dog pose to reference

Draw a Labramon

Move onto marker paper via light table if necessary

Colour and ink

Scan at work

Touch-ups

Write mile-long post about design choices

Post

--

SUB-PROJECT: Agumon Redesign

Remember what the hell my workflow was; I've started this one already except that it's 100% digital which i dont usually do. i seem to recall that i'd found a vaguely similar workflow to the one i use with traditional mediums but i dont remember at all how i managed that. i will have to try to remember how i got that working

Finish colouring

Simple background???

Post

*********************************************

PROJECT 3: Survive Alternate Evos (Digifakes) i refuse to elaborate. i think that doing a big finished colour illustration is not going to be helpful for this since these would be the first passes of all these designs, so this would probably be just some sketches with minimal colour??? maybe??

SUB-PROJECT: Blackavarmon

find & look at blackavarmon's original sketches again to remember what on earth i had in mind

idk just do a bunch of sketches and keep 3-5 of the best ones

low-effort ink/colour

scan at work

post

--

SUB-PROJECT: Tigervespamon Burst Mode

find the few sketches i did last year and try to push them further; i remember feeling like some of the design elements weren't working the way i wanted them to and i gotta tinker with them

tigervespamon burst mode is very much 'what if i take the machine aspects out of this design and add others that cater more to me specifically'. tigervespamon as-is doesnt look enough like a wasp OR a tiger to me and im taking it upon myself to fix that. im going to stare at pictures of tiger jaws and wasp mandibles for six hundred hours until i can mash 'em together in a truly horrific way to make a guy who is SO upsetting to look at <3

close-ups of weird design aspects, probably jaws, arms, face, perhaps wings if i dont fear god

low effort ink/colour

scan at work

post

--

SUB-PROJECT: Mothmanmon

slap together a bunch of reference pictures. mothmanmon has a specific purpose that i refuse to explain, but i also want it to have the vibe of a digimon that isn't necessarily relevant to [REDACTED] or [REDACTED]. unlike blackavarmon or tigervespamon burst mode, i havent even STARTED work on this one so a finished polished definite design isn't the intent

doodle a bunch of concept sketches

ink/colour the one that looks the most like i want it to

scan at work

post

*********************************************

PROJECT 4: Survive Snippets so this probably doesn't come as a surprise to anybody but the survive fics ive posted are barely scratching the surface of what a version of me with infinite spare time would like to explore. ive been tossing ideas around for a while that i want to at least write down. i dont know that i'd post any of them since they'd likely be part of other bigger fics that i CERTAINLY do not have time to write

SUB-PROJECT: Conversation (& fight?) between Dracmon and [REDACTED] you get no information on this (:

--

(DIGISURVIVE SPOILER WARNING START)

SUB-PROJECT: Alternate Kunemon Champion evo scene listen as much as i love survive and love kunemon and think its funny that his big dramatic evolution scene was triggered while battling against (checks notes) actual babies, i dont necessarily think that it was… the uh, most elegant way to go about ryo's partner's first evolution?? the tone of the scene gave me whiplash. i would like to know what it would be like for that scene to have stakes that are more in-line with the other champion-level evolution scenes. i DO know how im going to do this though, vaguely, ive been thinking about it for like over a year. it'll actually also require some changes to syakomon's champion evo scene most likely! the challenge with this one is going to be to boost the impact of flymon's first appearance while not minimizing the impact of shellmon's first appearance. it's a balancing act that im not SUPER intimidated by; i managed something similar in winds of change, but it's still a little different.

--

SUB-PROJECT: Alternate Lopmon Champion Evo scene This would sort of be an epilogue to winds of change! without spoiling much, winds of change is a different outcome of part 5 Truthful where shuuji manages to survive the waterway, but something very very bad still happens. this bad thing would delay lopmon's evolution into turuiemon, and that delayed version would have a different vibe to it than how it was presented in the game's truthful route.

(DIGISURVIVE SPOILER WARNING END)

*********************************************

PROJECT 5: Digimon TTRPG Stuff I play digimon ttrpg with my friends. yet i rarely draw any of our funny little guys. i wish to draw our funny little guys

SUB-PROJECT: Lys the Muscle Wizardmon currently for playtesting i am playing a melee damage wizardmon who did not get great grades in wizard school. so she hits things with a stick instead. good for her!

--

SUB-PROJECT: Delaney & Herculeomon beach episode Look™

--

SUB-PROJECT: Nova (Terriermon-x) (& maybe Xander??) beach episode Look™

*********************************************

many things to consider! and neither you nor i know which i will attempt first (: good luck fellow camp digimonth participants! lookin' forward to seeing your progress!

[rosekasa]

what are your top five books? (love your writing by the way!!)

ANON THANK YOU!!! and thank you x2 for this question i was actually hoping id get asked this when i reblogged the post HAHEJEJEJWJEJEJ

im gonna paste the reviews i wrote for them (if i have them logged)

these are my top 5 books for 2024!

1. a thousand splendid suns - khaled hosseini (reread)

i think, above all, this is a love story in the broadest way possible. it is about love interwoven with fear, in an environment where survival is not guaranteed -- or, rather, is not guaranteed to be easy. in the context of the afghan war hosseini brings together two women under the same roof in a co-wifeship, and how, despite all the differences between them, love blossoms from their shared sisterhood and desire to protect one another. allyship against their abusive husband turns into a friendship turns into what becomes a mother-daughter relationship, a sharp, tearjerking contrast from the harsh conditional tolerance the rest of the world treat these women. a quote from the beginning of the book encapsulates this story perfectly: a man's heart is not like a mother's womb. it will not stretch to accommodate for you. it will not bleed. but despite not being of each other's wombs, mariam and laila did exactly this for one another, stretched and bled until, at least through one of them, they could experience a birth into a better life.

2. lolita - vladimir nabokov (reread)

lolita is not a love story. i have said this every time i have read the book, but in my third pass, as a 20 year old instead of a 14 or 17 year old, all the flowery prose, the carefully hidden details feel like they've been peeled off like a fruit skin and left the bare rinds of what this story is. humbert humbert kidnapped a 12 year old girl, drove her around the states, and raped her for a year. not to mention the abuse that continued after that.

this book deserves five stars because nabokov is clearly a master in creating an unreliable narrator. there were times i questioned whether anything we knew about humbert was real at all -- the small suggestions that he has embellished certain details, this insistence of creating 'art' and taking liberties for that purpose. you could argue that humbert is delusional, but i actually don't think he is. i think he knows exactly what he is and what he did but is psychopathically aware of creating a new version of himself and his story to make a good story for the 'jury'. because we do see his true colours, very often, in fact, colours that betray his claims that he loves lo, that he believes she's the one who can control him -- for example, the evaluation of Charlotte haze in his ability to 'twist her wrist' as he did with valeria, his almost disgust at some of the regular 12-year-old things lo was into (magazines, etc), and, most importantly, the fact he states the murder of quilty was actually the intended climax of his memoir all along, the whole purpose of his work. that's not to mention his obsession with 'capturing' lo -- in his journal entries, in the desire to take photos of her while she played tennis, in the very act of calling her 'lolita'.

i think this book is a disgusting, monstrous work of art. always enthralled by nabokov's mastery everytime i read this

3. rumi: selected poems

(this review was a load of nonsense so this is the redacted version)

like soap washing with our dirt, rumi cleans us, leaves us empty, draws our awareness back into the infinite.

4. gora - rabindranath tagore

after reading this i had to sit in silence for a while to just. process. because WOW. out of all of tagore's translated novels, this may have been my favourite -- the critical commentary on identity that home and the world could have been if it were longer! when binoy grows close to a brahmo family, conflict arises between him and his best friend gora -- a fierce adherant to hindu principles, especially the separation of caste. what follows are a series of events that brings into question the foundation of each character's religious principles -- what is impurity? what does it mean? how much of a person's worldly community should a person be expected to sacrifice for their religion? and how much of these principles are intrinsic, inherent in the hearts of all believers, and how much is learned, a garment clutched onto by believers for a sense of identity? to what extent can this garment be actually beneficial -- and to what extent harmful, weaponised to separate oneself from others and monochromise a world filled with different colours? filled with as many perspectives as there are characters, tagore observes the nature of religion, with all its guidance and restraints, and how spirituality can turn into tyranny in times where one's identity is threatened. a work extremely relevant to the british raj and the divisions thus created within hindustani society!

5. a little life - hanya yanagihara

i hestitated to pick this up because i've definitely heard some interesting opinions about it, to say the least. i've heard people say it's one of those books that are sad for no reason, that pile on the trauma just for the shock value. and, while on one hand, i can see where opinions like this come from, i can't disagree more. the sadness is there for a purpose. maybe not in a way that the characters can see, but in the way that we can see -- the purpose of showing us that no matter how much meaningless sadness, the unfairness of pain we have in our lives, the people who love us will always try to fight for us to stay alive, and, at the same time, how this fight may, at the end of the day, be for nothing, and yet it doesn't stop us from fighting. yanagihara explores friendship, love, and devotion, the decision to keep loving someone, the decision to make someone 'less sick' if they can't make them get better. heartbreaking in the futility of efforts, in the decades-lasting scars from experiences jude had no control over, in the complications in all his relationships, the people who want him to stay, and the trauma in him that makes it so hard to stay, we see that loving people isn't necessarily about how easy it is to be with them, but about how much we are willing to try.

ask me my top 5 anything

[carlos-in-glasses]

Thank you for the tag @strandnreyes @alrightbuckaroo @jesuisici33 @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @carlos-tk @thisbuildinghasfeelings @three-drink-amy and @paperstorm 🧡

It's 2016 in Flashback Fic and TK has had a rough day. Let's meet his dealer, Spike:

Over by the window, Spike is smoking a joint and staring mournfully at the distant Tribute in Light – two blue beams like endless neon rods piercing into the night sky.

“Can’t believe it’s been fifteen years,” he says, wandering to the couch to pass the joint to TK, who takes a hit and passes it to Dan. “I’m sorry that happened to you, Strand,” he adds, “The [redated], too. Fuck.” He crouches by TK; TK watches as Spike drags at his lip to reveal a missing molar. “Had my tooth knocked out that way.” Spike shakes his head. He’s only twenty-eight, but he seems fifty for all his lived experience. "I do have something that’ll make you feel a lot better, though.”

One charming thing about Spike is how he carts drugs around in one of those old lady red-white-blue bags. He keeps a bed sheet poking out of the half-zipped opening, so it always looks like he’s on his way to the laundromat. He hoists the bag from where he dumped it aside the couch, and from a black sack within, he withdraws a packet of something pale beige.

“Heroin?” TK asks. He’s only half-sure. He hasn’t fucked with heroin before. All sorts of pills, booze, cocaine, concoctions of purple drank, sure – but never heroin or meth, and he’s never huffed solvents or computer cleaner. That shit’ll kill you. 

“With a magic touch of powdered milk,” Spike says eagerly, “I call it Cream. And, ladies, a little bit goes a long way.”

“I’m not injecting shit,” TK says, “I’m on fucking PEP. Last thing I need is an infected needle.”

“Who said anything about injecting?” Dan tuts, “I’m not collapsing my veins.”

Spike cuts the ‘Cream’ on the kitchen counter with his library card and Dan rolls the dollar bills – he’s got a knack. Spike is meticulous, very keen that they don’t overdose. He’s quite thoughtful for a dealer. But then, it’s a smart business investment for his clients to live.

They snort what TK thinks must be exactly the right amount, because they’re all sitting on the kitchen floor now, but it also feels like floating on a warm jet of air. TK has no regrets. He forgets about [redacted]. He doesn’t feel bad at all about what happened to him a couple of nights ago. He doesn’t care that he’s paying for heroin out of the $50 that guy gave him because he thought he was a hooker, and TK accepted the money as a fuck you.

He doesn’t know what it’s going to take to overcome an addiction to this.

Open tag and tags below:

Tagging with no pressure: @eclectic-sassycoweyes @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @inkweedandlizards @whatsintheboxmh @paperstorm @wandering-night19 @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @heartstringsduet @noxsoulmate @lightningboltreader @orchidscript @freneticfloetry @reyesstrand @never-blooms @lemonlyman-dotcom @ladytessa74 @bonheur-cafe @goodways @herefortarlos @redshirt2 @louis-ii-reyes-strand @inflarescent @fitzherbertssmolder @basilsunrise @mikibwrites @taralaurel @catanisspicy @chicgeekgirl89 @sugdenlovesdingle @theghostofashton @taralaurel @rosedavid @spaghett-onaplate @sanjuwrites @kiloskywalker @liminalmemories21 - if you want to share/ haven't already!

❤️ 🩷 🧡 💛 💚 💙 🩵 💜

[vilf-lover]

okay my review of kenju audio 🙂‍↕️

now- no hate. kind of. i absolutely don’t condone or encourage stealing other peoples artistic visions and ideas and creations but also i don’t want to criticize some doing something that makes them happy. you get it.

first: telepath bf comforts you

excited and scared, very scared. geordi and james aren’t exactly in the best places right about now but this is not redacted audio…….

okay….he’s australian

NO HATE TO MY AUSTRALIAN BABES I WAS JUST THROWN FOR A LOOP

i can’t really explain how i feel about this. i’m um bored.

it’s very “i’m home. you suck. what’s wrong. you suck.” *extensive sigh*

where’s the flavor 😃

it’s giving early david but like not at all

he’s like more of a walking red flag believe it or not

so i’ve found the reason we’re being comforted he says “if they’re mean to you again” we getting bullied or what

“you’re my mess” brother wrap it up im so sorry but what

“you really shouldn’t let that stuff get to you- it’s a lot of bullcrap” 😐 okay

“you need to not care as much about what people think of you” that’s enough, this is not a pep talk

“just be yourself and that’s all you can ask for” i feel like im back in middle school at the inspirational seminars

“now are you done moping. LITTLE. BABY.” yk i can’t tell if david was this bad and im just more attracted to the idea of him or if this is just. dry. AND mean.

OH MY GOD AND ITS OVER ✊🏼✊🏼✊🏼

he wasn’t even supposed to be tsundere ��

it was just boring, that’s really all. there was no background noise, stale line reading, very very scripted vibes (yeah i know the whole thing in this genre is a script you know what i meannnn)

i can’t even muster the courage to listen to the vampire ones because i’ll fight someone if i feel even a glimpse of sam-like mannerism

second AND LAST: tsundere werewolf has shifting trouble 😀😀😀😀

now part of me was trying to work with the benefit of the doubt and not think he was copying erik. this title within itself confirmed he is indeed. i’m not excited for this one especially after the last one.

no one can recreate my milo tho so this will be interesting

first second and i’m hearing grunting and i want to turn my phone off.

“go away, can’t you see i’m busy” get milo’s words out of your mouth

WAIT HES IN THE LIVING ROOM 😰😰😰

wait okay guys i’ve made a horrible lapse in judgement. he’s not having trouble shifting. he’s having trouble *not* shifting 😮‍💨 phew thought he was copying redacted but it seems like we’re all good

he fell down the stairs because he shifted randomly 😭😭😭

damn he’s mean

oh and it’s just his leg that’s shifting

i’m gonna go to sleep and this isn’t a sleep aid

OH HE USES THE SAME GROWLING SOUND EFFECT LMFAO 🐺🐺

OH WAIT THIS IS LIKE YOU GET BITTEN AND TURN

wow vamp x werewolf lore crossover

“i pride myself on my control with my shifting” well that’s a bit of a problem now isn’t it

“god knows i wouldn’t hear the end of it from lucas and i know i would just get speeches from nate” …right right right

ohhhh and he’s the beta ☝🏼

“and don’t call me puppy” oh???? wow we’re really just collecting character traits

i had to skip through the rest fairly quickly because i simply could not

AND WE ARE DONE.

@vegafan69 my professional review done 🤓

[skullbowz]

General!Ticci Toby HCs. . .

This took longer than expected . . Read till the end for a lil blurb <3 reminder ! English isn’t my first language.

—Clothing;

It depends on how old Toby is.. at first he only wore the clothes Slenderman “found” him in and whatever other articles of clothing he was able to scavenge up. It wasn’t until a few years later he felt safe enough to venture out and buy some clothes from the thrift. (with stolen money cuz bitch don’t get paid to be a lumberjack,,, a human lumberjack that is.)

I’m so bad at describing; just think of Will Graham's season 1 outfit n shit. 😭 I feel like he’d probably dress like a grandpa. Oversized Grandpa sweaters, those button-ups/dress shirts under w collars that peep out, any baggy pants in general. Work/toe steel boots >> .

He just doesn’t bother much w dressing up! It’s also so he doesn’t stand out much whenever trying to go somewhere in public — sometimes he’d get lucky and find band tees of bands he likes or Jeff lets him borrow some of his own.

—music;

A firm believer that he loves metal. Something about the chaotic-icy helps him “soothe the voices.” his favorite bands would be Sevendust, Rammstein, and Lamb of god!

Once when he was on a mission he accidentally broke into the wrong house and lucky him it was a middle-aged white dad who had a thing for 2000s rock and metal. Killed that fucker and stole as many albums and CDs as he possibly could :p.

He’d DIY a bunch of studded leather bracelets and give a few away to Natalie and Jeffery. Gifting is his love language tbh

—interests;

Most residents of the manor (when he ‘lived’ there) don’t/didn’t know much about Toby since he doesn’t bother socializing much. He seems pretty disinterested to the rest but the dude really has some great hobbies and things he enjoys. For one he loves crafting, especially wood carving! He also has a habit of collecting animal bones/remains to clean and use them as decor. His favorites prob have to be fox skulls :). Very much a trinket collector as well. Just a odd man :3

Besides hobbies, oddly enough he enjoys Sanrio-related things—specifically cinnamon roll. (Since it’s the only character he knows,) he will convince you that the cinnamoroll is a bunny, not a dog. He refuses to accept that the little cartoon character is not a bunny as he first assumed. Of course he likes music music,, he’s given poetry a chance, isn’t the great at it but really enjoys it!

—Biography;

Toby is Dominican-German. His mom was Dominican while his dad was German! He’s fluent in Spanish and somewhat broken German. Around 5’9 to 6’0 foot tall. Late teens and early twenties he was more scrawny than anything but after 13 years of labor and trying to survive he obv grew some muscle mass and like… isn’t built like a 17-year-old boy idfk. Ofc, he was born on April 28th 1994. Toby grew up in more southern states (specifically Alabama) and has a slighht southern accent.

—Proxy experiences;

Toby is a runaway proxy; one of the very few that managed to escape Slendermans (or the operators, depending on which) grasp. Though he isn’t exactly safe cuz of this, If he gets too close to the terrority of Slenderman or the operator he starts developing symptoms and illness. Course the main being static n amnesia, waking up in random places covered in blood, etc. Toby can’t feel pain so the static doesn’t cause immense headaches but it’s dangerous for that exact reason; he can never tell when his nose starts to bleed or his ears rupture.

Toby only got involved with the operator in his later years (maybe around midish late 20’s) when he was in the minced of escaping Slenderman, and just so happened to meet Tim Wight. He spiraled into a REDACTED hell hole from there.

—Love interest(s) ?;

Oh boy, , it really depends on how quirky im feeling. Ticciwork and TicciJeff tbh. He loves ppl with no sanity 🫶🫶 Thankfully Jeff isn’t involved with Slender because he’s too much of a loose cannon to be controlled, much like EJ, the rake, seed, smile, grinny, etc. and Slenderman doesn’t take interest in Clockwork but since she has connections with some of slendermans valuable tyrants and or proxies, the entity leaves her be.

Jeff was the one to help Toby escape slenderman, and snapped him out of his “devotion” era. Clock is just amazing girlfriend and always there for him :p.

extra . . . .

[ REDACTED ! ! ]

This Deja vu feeling haunts him. He doesn’t understand why he’s being searched for. Why do the cops know who he is? Why is he? Who was he?

Childhood didn’t exist. Was he always grown ?

Why is it when he passes down that neighborhood, it feels so nostalgic . Nothing left but ashes and decaying foundations of homes, homes that were once were preoccupied by happy families. He call still smell the remains of the burnt buildings. Strange. It’s like he could never forget.

Jeff always went quiet whenever they were talking and the topic of this neighborhood was brought up, does he know something the EX proxy doesn’t?

What’s more confusing is that fateful night with Natalie, he found himself driving down a dark road that one night. It shared similar sentiment much like the abandoned neighborhood, only much more sinister. He was with Clocky, Pretty brunette with a clock for one eye,, the other an odd emerald green. Over time, the twitchy man taught himself to read clocks just so he wouldn’t have to check his phone for the time. Natalie’s eye always went tick tock, tick tock.

It was only him and Nat against the world at that moment,, so who was the mauled looking blonde in his rear view window? Sitting in the back of his car as well, it was strange. Jeff usually hoarded up the back seats. . He wouldn’t share it with a victim.

But it isn’t just a victim. Toby found himself struggling to catch his breath, who is she? Nat. It’s not Nat. It’s not Jeff. It’s just some blonde girl. A young adult that resembles someone he doesn’t know. Does he know ? ? ?

Who is she?

What was once a soft and familiar safe touch was now ghostly and evocative ? ?

Everything is blurry around him. He doesn’t hear her asking if he’s okay.

He doesn’t feel her cold touch, her hand covering his on the steering wheel.

One moment he’s on the road

The next he’s out cold

.

What caused him to swerve into that tree ?

Why did he put their lives at risk ?

.

Panting. He heard harsh panting. Was that him? Was that her? His hands were completely thrown off the steering wheel and replaced with paler, somewhat smaller ones. Not so gentle though. Something warm was dripping down from his nose. Metallic scent wafted and clogged his nostrils. He licked his lips and wasn’t surprised to be met with blood - he looked in the rear view mirror - NO BLONDIE IN SIGHT

He looked out the window. Did he just barely manage to swerve away from that tree? No. He didn’t save their lives. He looked to his right. A singular green eye met his. She’s unharmed, unlike REDACTED but shooken up. What brought him back to his senses was that familiar disoriented voice.

“Toby, what the fuck ??”

[dogboymortis]

five years ago, i didn't think i'd be where i am now. i thought i'd be doomed to live as someone i wasn't (and would never be) forever; dating men in a woman's body and having to swallow how much it hurt being seen as "her". five years ago, the thought of being masculine or people happily accepting me as a man seemed so far off. because of certain online figures in the trans sphere and constantly having to remind friends and partners that, hey, i'm not exactly a woman, only to still be seen as one made me feel as if being taken seriously if i said im a man seemed not possible. five years ago, i was scared. i was terrified. i thought i'd lose so much.

but here i am, five years later. 2 years post coming out officially and proudly almost 9 months on t. i have people in my life that see me as i am, who i Really am. i have support i never thought i'd come close to having. my voice is getting deeper. i'm growing hair everywhere. i own a binder now, which i NEVER thought i would. it's been a wild and overwhelming ride, but i'm so happy, and also sad. happy because i am who i am. sad because i hid who i was for so long out of fear of so many things.

to [REDACTED] from five years ago, don't fret. it will happen. you will be loved and accepted. just give it time. i love you so much. thank you for helping me to see that depriving myself of this happiness wasn't good, and i deserved this happiness all along.

[i-am-autistic]

I feel like if you have any media literacy at all you should know Jancy is very likely endgame.

You can read my posts and see I'm not even a hardcore Jancy or anything I lean more Jargyle. It's just like........

1. The writers like their original pairings from s1 a lot. Mike-El/Will(Im pro Byler, yes Will isn't present in s1 but Mike spends like 90% of the season moaning and talking about him- for the sake of this post El/Will are interchangeable), Jonathan-Nancy, Joyce-Hopper and then they also like Max-Lucas. All 4 of these couples have been presented as romantic since the pitch bible and from their first interactions.

2. S4 was all about division and how the characters lose when divided. They really focused on the absence of Jancy in s4. Hence they are building to an s5 with a lot of Jancy. We also got s4 featuring the other 2 main couples: Jopper and Lumax so it's probably going to switch to the other 2 couples to finish it off and wrap up the relationship and character arcs. The duffers really really love the whole story beat of "break the characters up and then show them coming back together". You can tell because this is exactly what they did with Jopper and Lumax in s4. Jopper obviously had a physical distance that broke them up but Lumax had an emotional distance. The same things Jancy and Mileven/Byler are bringing into s5. Arguably you could even say Byler went through this in s4.

3. Cmon bro the final scene where Nancy RUNS to Jonathan and Robin pats Steve's back is the most obvious thing of all time. People bring up the script and that it wasn't a big moment in the script but those scripts are redacted as hell to avoid giving out more information.

4. Jonathan and Steve had a pretty clear parallel this season when talking about having kids in the future. Jonathan and Steve essentially come to the same vision for their futures but both decide differently. Jonathan hates it and Steve loves it. We also know from s1 and every piece of info we've got about Nancy since s1 that Nancy also hates it and doesn't want to raise a bunch of kids. Yes I know it's possible to pursue a career and have kids. But kids in this situation and the vision Steve have don't only represent kids but also represent her parents and their relationship. Which is what the show has always told us Steve represents to her and in everything we saw in s4 he hasn't developed into this new person, he still represents that. Even if the character himself has still improved he still represents that.

5. As soon as Stancy is introduced in s4 we also get introduced to the fact that Nancy isn't over Barb and Barb will still be a part of her arc. Which she pretty inextricably links to Steve.

6. This is the one people don't realize often but s4 is literally maybe 5(?) months after the end of s3. Taking place in March 86 with S3 ending Oct 85 and about 8 months after the end of s3. Steve has seemingly had literally 0 contact with Nancy in that time and doesn't fall for her again in s4. He's already fantasizing about her as he says so it's presented as a continuation of the feelings he's always had for her and he seemingly isn't as over her in s3 as was implied. If the writers are going to write that relationship, they are essentially saying they were wrong, the characters were wrong and the audience was wrong about the relationship.

7. This is kind of a half point expansion of the above but like.....seriously it's important that none of the feelings in s4 are new feelings, it's all old feelings for a relationship the writers have told us 1 million times doesn't work. I keep seeing people say "they are different people" but they aren't that different from when they broke up. Steve's actual in show character arc has always been a lot more revolving around Nancy than it is about his relationship with Robin or the kids. Like as much as the fandom is about Steve and the kids and it's cute(And I like this too! I don't dislike this) in the show when he becomes friends with Dustin it's all tied back to Nancy with that final Dustin-Nancy scene and the relationship literally being developed with Steve ranting about his relationship. S3 his relationship with Robin in the original version is written as a romantic one as he gets over Nancy. Even in the show for 90% of s3 it seems Steve looks at Robin as a romantic partner and then switches to friends when she's not available. I think people forget he's not actually babysitting the kids in his off time in the show-the fandom is cute and such- but I don't think he spends significant time with anyone except Dustin and Robin in the show. This is moreso a point about how the writers of the show are kinda poor at evolving the characters. But seemingly the way it was presented in s4 Nancy and Steve are essentially in an incredibly similar position to when they broke up in s2.

8. Joyce in the recent play. Ok I need this to be said but like Emmerson vs NYU is a thing people make out as a bigger deal than it is. Emmerson is like an excellent university too??? Like IK people want Jonathan to be validated but he is getting validated by going to a big university. The university you pick when you're a kid doesn't really matter that much and seemingly even Jonathan hasn't brought it up. Like as a kid I wanted to go to my local uni a lot but I didn't go in the end. Emerson isn't like bumming it out it's a pretty great uni. But morseo I mean Joyce's whole arc in the First Shadow is about not going to university as an art student. They are surely not going to make her son do the exact same thing. This one is really simple I don't need to explain it.

9. I think Jopper literally solves like all of Jonathan's family issues because he won't feel as burdened and that he HAS to stay.

10. Oh as a final point I'm fairly certain Argyle with Eden in Suzie's house in s4 was supposed to be a backdoor pilot for a spinoff. And I think Jonathan's only other ending they've given so far is California. I think maybe they could include Jonathan in a spinoff but I don't think they'd want to. Like they've said they don't want to continue any mains story after s5 and Argyle is periphery enough he could leave and have a spinoff and it could work with an occasional Dustin cameo or whatver but with Jonathan I feel like he is a bit too tied to the Byers for him to be in a spinoff. Like you'd have to include the Byers too and I don't think they would want one that features central characters too much.

11. This is just my opinion.

[moltengoldveins]

That TCU post…that is truly one of, if not the greatest thing I’ve ever seen come out of this fandom. I tried my own hand a while back at writing “the dsmp but taken seriously”; gave it a name and a playlist but didn’t really write much before I went back to my other projects. If you ever have the motivation to do more with that outline I’d be honored to be a co-writer or help out in any way, or if you want you could just use my title as a name for the series: A Ballad of Broken Dreams.

holy crap op this is so sweet. Thank you so much. I’m… wow ok. That. Wow. Thank you. That’s legitimately so kind and I’m so glad you enjoyed it XD. Id also Love to see your playlist and your thoughts behind the songs if you’re down?! That sounds awesome :D

funnily enough, I’ve had a drafted outline for this heccin thing running around in my head since the Butcher Army arc. Right around when SAD-ist dropped her animatic, I simultaneously realized ‘oh wow, I Adore this concept’ and ‘oh wow, I Highly doubt the CCs are gonna manage to do this the way I’d want to see it’ and lo and behold: I was correct. So painfully correct. (There were also People Involved whom I had Really Bad Feelings About from very early on that, sure enough, turned out to be exactly what i thought they were, rip) So the Emduo prequels, Icarus heccin Dying, and the end of Axe of Peace have been around for Ages.

I’d honestly love to do more with this concept, (i am designing movie posters as we speak) but due to Chronic Illness Pog I’m in a rather unstable financial situation? And don’t have a ton of free time for art. Any big projects are gonna take a While, or id need to find a way to use it or something adjacent to fund, y’know, Rent. That being said, I’m definitely writing the emduo prequels, both as movie scripts and as novels, as those are the films focused on, yknow, My Bois. I also think it’d be hilarious to release the novels and then the scripts and watch people Loose Their Minds over the ‘inaccurate adaptation >>:(‘

I’d absolutely love to work with other people in the fandom on this stuff, though I’ve never been the best at directly co-writing (my writing method and style is painfully specific (ie needlessly poetic) and I’m very autistic: I don’t like it when people touch that Specific Thing) but literally anything else? Im open ears. I love collabs.

and finally, I adore your name for the series, (excellent word choice there /srs, it fits perfectly with the symbolism of the whole story) and I think it works really Really well for the actual DSMP, but if I’m entirely honest… I’m not sure it fits the TCU? Like genuinely I’m so grateful for the suggestion, I love when people offer ideas and bounce things around like that. But one of the main things I tried to do with this concept was work out how the story could actually end Well. A deep-seated belief in the good-but-fallen nature of man, the importance of hope, and the inevitability of redemption kinda comes part and parcel with the whole Being-A-Christian Thing (if it doesn’t, you’re missing the Whole Point Of The Bible) and while the actual DSMP may have ended in broken dreams… this doesn’t. That was my first thought when writing that outline: This Is Going To End Well. Not for wish-fulfillment reasons, not because I’m naive or I don’t like bad endings, but because fundamentally, everything sad is a lie, and if the story has ended in tragedy, it hasn’t ended yet.

If I had to pick a series name now, I’m not sure what I’d pick. A part of me balks at referencing anything popularized by Our Local Redacted, but ‘unfinished symphony’ wasn’t his in the first place, it was from Hamilton. “The Finished Symphony” has a cool ring to it? I dunno. If anyone else has ideas please feel free to toss them in here aight, I’m not settling on anything for a While.

Anyways, thanks for Ted talking with me, drink water 💜